What Happened to Karate? | Son of a Boy Dad #424

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #424 – "What Happened to Karate?" (August 4, 2026)

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Episode Main Theme

This episode of Son of a Boy Dad centers around personal ruts, lost motivation, the psychology of performance, and the meanderings of adulthood. The hosts – Francis, Ron, and Dave – weave together comic tales of recent disappointments (Francis’ golf woes, Ron’s recent illness, Dave’s productivity), existential uncertainty, nostalgia, and absurd hypotheticals. Amid the banter, they explore masculinity, friendship support, and the hilariously vulnerable process of figuring out one’s place in the world after dropping out of college.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Golf: From Peak to Rut (02:23–12:53)

• Francis shares his recent struggles with golf, feeling immense pressure after last year’s win and fumbling in recent matches.
• The group riffs on how substances (mushrooms, food poisoning, Molly) affect performance and mental state in sports.
• The conversation sharpens around the psychology of competing, failure, and how inner pressure can wreck previously effortless performance.
• Notable exchange on channeling emotion into performance:
  • Dave: “Golf is 99% mental. If your mental’s not good, it’s reflecting other stuff in life.” (09:11)
  • Francis: “Last year, I went in with zero thought that I would win. Now, anything short of winning will feel like failure.” (11:25)

2. Humor as Coping Mechanism and Friendship (12:10–16:55)

• Ron and Dave encourage Francis to remember why he plays golf and where he excels – as a “funny guy” people want to have around, not as a machine.
• They joke about “living off a steady diet of hand jobs” as preparation and riff on the supportive power of simply being yourself.

3. The Martial Arts Riff: What Happened to Karate? (18:39–22:25)

• Amid a discussion on martial arts trending (jiu-jitsu, Krav Maga) vs. being passé (karate), they digress into personal experiences with self-defense classes and childhood fears about city violence.
• Key question: “Why did karate have such a moment in the ‘80s? And where did all the practitioners go?”

4. Urban Fears and Funny Survival Stories (22:22–28:03)

• Hilarious recreations of near-run-ins in city alleys, being “almost jumped.”
• Ron’s quick, culturally attuned response during a tense Chicago evening:
  • Francis (about Ron): “He did it in such a non-racist way. Everything from his life in battle rap led up to that move.” (25:21)
• Playful self-deprecation about moving home, late-night rides, and feeling out of place in adulthood.

5. Adulthood, Resetting, and the Pool House Dilemma (50:36–56:38)

• Francis considers moving back to his parents’ new pool house in Maine—a comedic take on the “failed son” stereotype versus luxury retreat.
• His internal debate: Is it failure, a reset, or just finally embracing comfort and family?
• Francis: “You keep thinking the pool house is a bad place. You gotta see it.” (86:38)

6. Money, Motivation, and Massive Purchases (65:42–68:50)

• Francis loathes that he no longer spends enough to force himself to work hard. Group prescribes a comically extravagant purchase to stoke the drive—a yacht, NetJets subscription, absurd art, or even a second pool house.
• Francis: “I want to be standing over a putt, thinking, ‘Oh my God, I bought a house in St. Barts.’” (66:41)
• The recurring motif: Motivation via artificial stakes.

7. Absurd Vacation & Spending Fantasies (84:42–94:46)

• If Francis wins the “Internet Invitational” and the $1.66 million purse, he pledges to fund a group trip to Patagonia—as long as it’s not transformed into grinding content.
• Series of comedic exchanges about buying a Patek Philippe or a paddock (pile of sheep), group yurts, lodge life, and shooting thousands of doves.
• Francis, promising: “If I win, I’ll finance a trip for all of us to Patagonia. That is a promise.” (91:25)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Francis (on motivation): “I used to spend so much I had to work hard. I think I need to get back into spending.” (65:51)
• Ron: “Your goals shouldn’t be statistical. They should be, like, clear head, full of sperm, zero holes of golf played.” (79:39)
• Dave: “All you’re doing is golfing and coming… How are you expecting to improve?” (39:16)
• Francis: “I’m in the deepest place of indifference in my life that I’ve been in years.” (36:00)
• Francis (about his family’s pool house): “I just go visit my parents. You keep thinking the pool house is a bad place. You gotta see it.” (86:38)
• Francis (on group dynamics): "It's amazing how many places you and I would enjoy going to together, Ron. Not a single one for me." (90:04)

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Time-Stamped Important Segments

• [02:23–12:53] – Francis’ Golf Rut & Mental Spiral
• [13:00–16:55] – Friends as Therapy; Humor as Survival
• [18:39–22:25] – “What Happened to Karate?” & Martial Arts Trends
• [22:22–28:03] – Urban Legends & Stories of Almost Getting Jumped
• [50:36–56:38] – The Comedy and Stigma of Moving Home
• [65:42–68:50] – Spending Money as Life Motivation
• [84:42–94:46] – Vacation Fantasies, Group Promises, and Patagonia Plans

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Final Thoughts & Tone

The episode is loose, irreverent, and self-aware—full of vulnerability masked in comic riffing. The hosts speak openly about malaise, midlife listlessness, and the odd pressure to matter, all while reminding each other (and the listener) that sometimes humor, friendship, and lowering the stakes are the only real escapes from the expectation trap. The whole thing exudes the low-stakes anxiety of adulthood and post-adolescence, undercut by genuine warmth.

Key Takeaway:
If you’re feeling rudderless or stuck, this episode offers the catharsis of hearing others flail, riff, and support each other through it—with a promise: if you make it through, there could be a trip to Patagonia in your future.

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Transcript

[Ron]

Hey, son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

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[Francis]

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[Dave]

Man, I am tired.

[Ron]

No.

[Dave]

Yeah, unfortunately. All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is August 3rd. It's 3:15pm and we are here live from HQ3. Welcome back. How are we doing everybody?

[Francis]

I don't know, man.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I'm a little disappointed in my golf right now. It's a mess.

[Ron]

It's a bad time for that.

[Francis]

It's a mess.

[Dave]

We can't afford that right now.

[Francis]

It is. There's no fucking. There's no. I don't know what. How to find my way forward. I probably feel about my golf the way that you feel about. You felt about your video games.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah, probably.

[Francis]

I feel helpless.

[Dave]

Yeah. That's how I felt.

[Francis]

And I can't stop.

[Dave]

I stopped.

[Francis]

I can't.

[Dave]

That sucks.

[Francis]

There's too much on the line.

[Dave]

You might honestly I bet your best move right now is to just not play until the Invitational.

[Francis]

I thought about that.

[Dave]

And just go out there and just hope for the best. Sometimes, you know how you just. You'll just have like, one of those, like, miracle rounds.

[Francis]

Correct.

[Ron]

But it's not. It's not one round.

[Francis]

No.

[Ron]

You'd have to have a miracle week.

[Dave]

Possible.

[Francis]

I am the best round of golf, weirdly, that I've ever played in my entire life. I hate to say this was on hallucinogenic mushroom chocolates. Did I talk about that?

[Dave]

I think so. Yeah. Because then I think I said that the best round that I ever played was when I had food poisoning.

[Francis]

That sounds right, because you would have quickly pivoted off the point I was trying to make.

[Dave]

And top it, because it's like you're not thinking about golf.

[Francis]

Oh, we did talk about this. Well done. I'm going to retract what I said passive aggressively, because that was a great point. So this weekend, I played in a member guest at my club upstate, and I took mushrooms. Oh. And on the first day, I played great.

[Dave]

Is this real?

[Francis]

Yeah. All right.

[Dave]

Yeah, I don't. You never know.

[Francis]

I don't have any gifts for you guys.

[Ron]

Just the boy who cried ayahuasca.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Now you're talking. Mushrooms the next week.

[Francis]

No, no, I took. I haven't taken. I mean, the truth is, I haven't done any sort of hallucinogen or psilocybin or any of that shit in a long time. But the point is that the first day was great. Everything kind of worked. I had the right cocktail of shit in my system.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

To quiet the barking dogs and not have the nerves overtake me. And then on day two, I was a mess, even though I did pretty much exactly the same thing, which to me makes me think that that's not the solution.

[Ron]

Maybe the defense saw what you were bringing. You know what I mean? Your offense got too predictable, and it was like, oh, the same cocktail. The demons came back and they fought even harder. Yeah, you have to zag. You know what I mean? You have to vary up your playbook.

[Dave]

Yeah. Molly. That would probably help Molly.

[Francis]

I don't know. I feel like I'd lose my balance. Balance is really important.

[Dave]

Is. Does Molly make like. But have you ever, like. Because I've never done Molly. I know you're kind of an expert.

[Francis]

Every time I've done Molly, I start

[Dave]

stumbling, but is that because you're also hammered out of your mind?

[Francis]

No, it's because I'm on Molly.

[Dave]

But what if you. Because I don't believe that you've ever taken Molly and not been up as well.

[Francis]

I've only done Molly once.

[Ron]

Oh, okay.

[Francis]

And it was not knowingly. Really. Or not. It was by accident at the white party. What?

[Dave]

Well, I thought you did. Didn't you do Molly and Leo? Yeah, with Schultz and all those guys.

[Francis]

No, that was mushrooms.

[Dave]

I don't know about that.

[Francis]

I know it.

[Dave]

I think you're mixing up your drugs.

[Francis]

And that also wasn't the white party.

[Dave]

I know, I know.

[Francis]

It was like a white party. Light.

[Ron]

Yeah, the light Party party. The cream colored pants party.

[Francis]

Hey, Ron, are you okay?

[Ron]

I'm good, brother. I'm. I'm dying to know what's going on with your golf game. I think what's going on with my mortal vessel has. Nothing is nothing compared to what's going on in your mind. You know what I mean?

[Dave]

Like, that's kind of drugs they got you on.

[Ron]

They. I'm saving all mine for when I'm. For when I'm better.

[Dave]

That's. That's not a saving the drugs injury. That's. I'm taking them all as fast as I can.

[Ron]

Well, I promise you, I'm saving some you to save them for. For when you can actually enjoy them.

[Dave]

Yeah, of course.

[Ron]

Killing the pain is a waste of a painkiller.

[Dave]

Yeah. You know, it's not what they're intended for.

[Ron]

You want to be up? You want to have a couple glasses of wine and watch Vanderpump Rules reruns?

[Francis]

Maybe I could borrow some of your drugs for golf.

[Ron]

Ooh, what about an anti inflammatory mixed with an oxycontin? Does that sound nice for your golf swing?

[Francis]

That sounds like I'm going to be striping them all. Watch out. Course record.

[Ron]

How bad are we talking? Did you suck ass?

[Francis]

Let's put it this way. So on the second day, we played two nine hole matches. It's me and my partner it's best ball. So whichever of the two of you has the better score in the hole, that's the score you get for your team. So we played 18 full holes. My ball factored for our team on two of the 18 holes.

[Dave]

What does that mean?

[Francis]

One out of nine on each match? I had one hole that mattered.

[Dave]

Oh, man.

[Francis]

That's it?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

That's not good. Were the guys that you were playing with pretty good though?

[Francis]

My partner played well. We tied for the top of the flight, but the team that advanced beat us head to head. So they won on the tie break.

[Dave]

Damn.

[Ron]

Sometimes when you drag. When you limp into the playoffs, you kick it into overdrive when the games really count, maybe.

[Francis]

So this mattered to me. It. And also, you know, given that we tied for the flight lead, if I had factored on one more hole, we would have advanced. Advanced to the shootout.

[Dave]

How's your mentality right now? Are the mentals.

[Francis]

I mean, I'm almost like, it's going to just be what it is.

[Dave]

Hate that I'm asking deeper though. Deeper.

[Francis]

Well, that I'm going deeper than. Way more difficult question.

[Dave]

I'm going deeper than go. I'm trying to. Let's go all the way back to your childhood.

[Ron]

Yeah, let's unpack.

[Dave]

What's h. What is going on in Francis's brain right now?

[Francis]

Just sort of like, don't you know this has to do with you because you started trying again out of nowhere and that really pissed me off.

[Dave]

I'm over it already.

[Francis]

Oh, thank God.

[Ron]

No, he's not. He just had. He did.

[Dave]

I had a busy weekend. I'm dumb.

[Ron]

He did a video. Building a computer.

[Francis]

Dude, I'm gonna start, like, dosing you with weed again. Because for you to just find motivation and energy out of thin air after sucking me down into your vortex of malaise and lethargy over the last two years is totally unfair. It is. You didn't give me any warning. I've been sinking with.

[Dave]

You know, it was going to have

[Francis]

stopped doing stand up. I've stopped putting in my veils. I'm not doing anything.

[Dave]

It's just stand up last week, too.

[Francis]

I don't want to hear this shit, man. This is bullshit.

[Ron]

Climbing over you out of the pool, pushing you down.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And now it makes me think it was all just a long con. Like it was. I'm going to bring Francis down and then I'm gonna rise secretly while he's now on the bottom.

[Dave]

I was never smoking weed in the first place, you fool.

[Ron]

Jarvis. Make Francis think I'm smoking weed.

[Dave]

But no, they say, like, I mean, you know, they say golf is 99 mental.

[Francis]

It is.

[Dave]

And I really think it could be impacted. Even if it's like your mental in your golf game is not good, it could still be reflecting stuff from your actual life.

[Ron]

Where's.

[Francis]

What is this?

[Dave]

I think we just got to get. I think you need to do ayahuasca

[Ron]

before the invitational in earnest.

[Dave]

And I literally think you will win the whole tournament single handedly.

[Ron]

I think there's a couple of things going on. I think you're putting pressure on yourself. Because you won last year.

[Francis]

That's correct.

[Ron]

You have to. That balloon.

[Francis]

Yeah, I know.

[Ron]

You have to pop that balloon and everything else will fall into place. I think all the other pressures of life are pressures that made you great last year. So take all those pressures, use them and then diffuse the other one. Use diffuse.

[Dave]

Yeah, that's true. I like that. I like that. So keep the. Keep the edge you do. Because that's. That is true. You don't want to lose your edge. Tom Brady says, like, you have to channel your anger, find your anger.

[Francis]

Yeah, I just don't want to be angry.

[Dave]

You have to. How do you expect to win if you're not angry?

[Francis]

Well, I'm by. By being positive.

[Dave]

Have fun losing.

[Francis]

Golf is not a sport where clenching your teeth and putting your fucking head down and running through a wall you any sort of advantage. For me it's all about relaxing. Whereas all the sports I played growing up, getting angry helped. It was like, now I can just overpower people.

[Ron]

What was the video you did with Donnie when you guys were in China and you got your airplanes hit? What was that? What's getting your airplane hit?

[Francis]

That's getting a hand job.

[Ron]

You need to get a hand job.

[Francis]

Oh.

[Dave]

Every day until the tournament you need

[Ron]

to be living off a steady diet of hand jobs.

[Dave]

And then you gotta fly someone down to give you hand jobs while you're there too.

[Francis]

No mouth, just hand.

[Ron]

Yeah, the best hand.

[Francis]

Put your vagina away. Yes.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Francis]

Do you have any idea what I'm doing?

[Ron]

It might be safer to have someone who does even have a vagina. Yeah. A clinical soft handed Asian doctor.

[Dave]

Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

[Ron]

Town on your.

[Dave]

How much time? I guess you're not really supposed to talk about it, but you got a little bit of time until you're gone.

[Francis]

Well, let's just not talk about when it is. Let's just presume that sometime in the near future I will be on the other side of this.

[Ron]

They could just grab you up at any time.

[Francis]

I will say that, Ron, you hit the nail on the head when you said that. I have placed undue pressure and expectations on myself. Last year I went in with zero thought that I would win. And annoyingly, I wonder. Which means that now anything short of winning will feel like a failure to me.

[Ron]

Because you know you're capable.

[Francis]

Because it's possible.

[Dave]

Yeah, but the tournament's bigger this year.

[Francis]

It's bigger.

[Dave]

It's a bigger. It's a bigger prize.

[Francis]

And I am worse and you're worse. I'M fundamentally worse right now than I was going in last year, which doesn't seem to make any sense because I've practiced twice as much.

[Dave]

It might honestly be better to just go in. Like, I think I. Yeah, just. It's over. You lost and then.

[Ron]

And then everything's a bonus.

[Dave]

Exactly. And you end up. Next thing you know, you're in the finals last day and you're like, what the. How the hell did this happen?

[Francis]

Oh, fuck me.

[Ron]

I also think your goal last time was to go in and just have some funny stuff for clips.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

And I think that that's what will get. First day is luck. You don't know if you'll be on the winning team or the losing.

[Francis]

You're right.

[Ron]

And no matter how well you play, it won't even really affect that because it's completely dependent on your teammates. So just ride out the first day. Anything could happen. And then on the next couple days, like, you want to be in good groupings and pairings. So just you being nice, you being funny, you being you will get you into the fun pairings because people want to pick you and they'll want to be around you and they know you have winning pedigree and all you have to do is make it to the. To the end of that.

[Francis]

This is true. I do have a lot of friends.

[Ron]

You have friends? Some people don't have any friends.

[Francis]

I have a lot of friends out there.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Ron]

What are the friends are going to want to be around you?

[Francis]

I have friends in high places.

[Ron]

Yes.

[Dave]

I think you. Yeah, I think you gotta. I think you're just going at it from too much of a. Like a competitive. Like. I think Rowan's right.

[Ron]

Have some fun.

[Dave]

Yeah. Remember why you're there.

[Ron]

You're not there to win.

[Dave]

You're there to crack jokes and be funny.

[Francis]

The.

[Ron]

You're the funniest guy out there. Who's funnier than you.

[Dave]

Yeah, exactly.

[Francis]

There's some funny guys.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Who.

[Dave]

Who?

[Ron]

Saleem.

[Francis]

Who's that?

[Dave]

Guys.

[Francis]

That's his name.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Celine from Nelk.

[Francis]

Is he Arab?

[Dave]

Yeah, I think so.

[Francis]

Really?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Cool.

[Ron]

Honestly, I wonder if he's Ethiopian, so.

[Francis]

Oh, cool guy. That guy's cool. I've never seen this guy before.

[Dave]

Selene the Dream presents.

[Francis]

Daltush is funny.

[Dave]

Daltush is funny, but he's not a comedian.

[Francis]

He's pretty funny, though.

[Dave]

Yeah, but you're funnier than him.

[Ron]

Yeah, you're funnier than him.

[Francis]

Maybe, but I'm not gonna say that. I can't say that definitively. He's pretty funny, dude.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I mean, I know there's a lot of funny guys. Dave's funny. There's a lot of funny people out there, but they're not.

[Ron]

Kyle from Nelk.

[Francis]

Kyle from Nelk is coming. Yeah.

[Ron]

Hilarious.

[Francis]

Why was all this Saleem talk?

[Dave]

Steve will do it. Saleem will do it.

[Ron]

I don't think we'll do. It's going to be there. I think it's. Kyle and Saleem are the only two.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

What?

[Ron]

Brother, you're going to want to be sitting down. I don't think Steiny's.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

What?

[Ron]

I think Steinle or Bradley are going to make it out there.

[Dave]

Bradley would be a hazard on the course.

[Francis]

Bradley's that super Jack dude. Always tells MMA fighters.

[Ron]

Yeah, it's good to have, like, a go to, like, debate point over anyone you have on your show.

[Dave]

Yeah. He says he could beat them in a street fight.

[Ron]

He's like, dude, I don't know when I get on top of you.

[Dave]

Street fight. But if it's a street fight, though, it's like, what? What's the difference?

[Ron]

I'll just grab you up. Yeah, I'll grab you.

[Francis]

Is that really what he looks like?

[Dave]

I think so, yeah.

[Francis]

That's insane.

[Dave]

Well, I mean, steroids to the gills, he said.

[Ron]

What do you mean? He's a natty God. Don't disrespect him. I got so annoyed at people taking Jonah Hill seriously this week when Jonah Hill was like, I'll be like, I, like, I'd love to, like, grapple with one of my fans, and I'd love to see him in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and, like, take him down.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

What?

[Dave]

People were mad that he said that,

[Ron]

but I think he's Joe. I think he's clearly joking.

[Francis]

Does he do jiu jitsu?

[Dave]

I guess. I'll be honest. I don't really know. I don't. I didn't watch the full clip, but I saw the part of him saying, like, he doesn't want to be thought of as, like, the fact guy from Superbad, which is like, dude, like, you got to stop bringing that up. Like. Like, people are gonna keep thinking about that if every interview you do is about that.

[Ron]

Honestly, I. What?

[Francis]

Did he say that? Or was that the caption of the video?

[Dave]

That's a great question, because I saw

[Francis]

this and I thought it was the caption, and then I watched it and he was like, it's so funny that everyone thinks I'm just the fat guy from Super Bad, when actually I Could beat them up. Which isn't him being like, I'm sick and tired of people thinking I'm the fat guy from Superbad.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

But he has kind of been like that in the past.

[Francis]

Has he now?

[Dave]

Oh, yeah. His. His weight is, like, his main thing. Like, he does not want anyone. I mean, in his defense, though, people did treat him like when he was fat.

[Francis]

I like Jonah Hill. I'll always like Jonah Hill.

[Ron]

I don't even think of him as the fat guy from Superbad, either.

[Dave]

No, that's the thing.

[Ron]

I think him as. As the fat guy from Moneyball.

[Dave]

Yeah, exactly. Y. Yeah. He's so good in Moneyball, but he doesn't even.

[Ron]

That role.

[Dave]

Like, he didn't even need to be fat in that role.

[Ron]

He just happened to be fat. Yeah, he's not fat. I also don't think of him as a fat anything, but I think I thought that I read this as he's making fun of people, like podcasters for always talking about, like, being sick at Jiu Jitsu, which would be funny.

[Dave]

That would be funny if that was the case.

[Ron]

Maybe he was being serious, though.

[Francis]

There was this guy who used to open for me here and there from D.C. and he did Jiu Jitsu. He's a big guy. Played quarterback in college. I mean, he's like, six five. I can't. I don't know why. I can't remember his name. And I was talking to him about it one night before a show, and he was like, yeah, we. We roll. That's what they call.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Francis]

Yeah. Rolling on the mats or whatever. And I was like, dude, do you ever, like, just get hurt? He's like, every single time.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

And I was like, that sounds like fucking Hell, yeah.

[Ron]

It.

[Dave]

I don't know. I mean, it's so popular, though.

[Francis]

It is.

[Dave]

But I just know, especially for, like, famous people, for some reason, bro, you're

[Francis]

talking about, like, an exercise experience that basically 100% of the time leaves you with a nagging injury and a different one every time.

[Dave]

I mean, maybe that's why they like it. Maybe they're just, like, up in the head.

[Francis]

Today, Tony accidentally swung his elbow and smashed me in the fucking temple. I've had a ringing in my ears ever since.

[Ron]

They're trying to hurt each other, too. It's not even accidental. They're, like, digging their chin in between your ribs, like, trying to fucking, like.

[Dave]

I mean, I thought Jiu Jitsu was, like, all, like, technique. It is, right? But so, like, still.

[Francis]

But I would imagine that the people who aren't good have less control over their technique.

[Dave]

That's. Yeah, apparently that's where all the injuries happen.

[Francis]

Correct.

[Dave]

Because the less, the less good people. It's like a hazard. Like, there'll be people, like, trying to get involved and they're like, no, you're not ready for this gym. Have you seen those videos? People getting, like, denied from the gym?

[Ron]

No, I haven't seen that.

[Dave]

This gym's not for you. You're not ready yet.

[Ron]

I, I have never seen Zuckerberg walking around with the full leg brace, though. So maybe he knows how to do it. Maybe he knows a thing or two. I don't know.

[Dave]

Is he a jiu jitsu guy or is it just all martial arts?

[Ron]

Bro? Of course he's Jiu jitsu.

[Dave]

No one's really doing karate these days, are they? What happened to karate?

[Francis]

Karate

[Ron]

the happened with karate laugh that if you did karate, no one does because you at least have to do like judo or some shit.

[Dave]

Do you think the Karate Kid remake ruined karate forever?

[Francis]

No, I think that MMA ruined karate. There's never been like a light heavyweight champion whose main strength was karate.

[Dave]

Yeah, that's probably true. I don't know though.

[Ron]

Why did karate have such a moment in like the 80s? Bruce was it? I was thinking like, Bruce Lee was.

[Francis]

That was. Was karate Bruce Lee's thing or was it taekwondo?

[Dave]

I think that was one.

[Ron]

I think it was being water. I think his thing was just being water.

[Dave]

I mean, the Karate Kid was a pretty Kung fu.

[Ron]

Kung fu?

[Francis]

Kung fu.

[Dave]

Korean Karai, Korea.

[Francis]

Yeah. You know, I used to think, like learning some self defense stuff was an important thing to have. Right. And I went to. I've done some boxing classes. I've done. I did a Krav Maga class a couple times.

[Dave]

What the fuck is Krav Maga?

[Francis]

Street fighting.

[Dave]

Oh, hell yeah. So wait, break down street fighting for me.

[Francis]

Street fighting? Like in Krav Maga, like you, you have a guy come at you with a fake knife.

[Dave]

Oh, I thought that was aikido.

[Ron]

That's Krav Maga.

[Francis]

Krav?

[Ron]

Really? I thought Krav Maga was break dance fighting.

[Francis]

I did two of the classes.

[Dave]

So like, like you have to like disarm people.

[Ron]

It's not breakdance fighting.

[Francis]

It's basically like a guy comes at you and, you know, you learn how to not let him fuck you in an alley.

[Dave]

Yeah, but like, okay, you take his

[Francis]

dick, you twist it around.

[Dave]

If you get stabbed and you took that class, can you sue. Can you be like, okay, yo, I used your technique. It doesn't work.

[Francis]

See this?

[Dave]

Yeah. The knife went straight through my hand.

[Francis]

I want 10 free classes.

[Dave]

Yeah,

[Ron]

I should be able to.

[Francis]

I did that. Those classes and what I've learned in life is that it's just way more effective to have an incredibly powerful lawyer.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah, definitely. Or just also have a weapon.

[Francis]

Just be like, oh, you. You're going to stab me?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You're going to. I'm going to ruin your life.

[Dave]

But what if they kill you?

[Francis]

Well, then you probably can't call your lawyer now.

[Ron]

Manslaughter though, like. Yeah, but they don't know that. Like, they don't care if you're alive or dead. If the lawyers coming after you, no matter what. Like, you may kill me. You can't kill my lawyer. My lawyers were. Will fucking haunt you.

[Dave]

I mean, I feel like they can. They can kill the lawyer too.

[Francis]

I definitely thought when I was younger that I was going to face violent threat from Wells on a far more regular basis.

[Dave]

Constantly moving to a city for the first time, I was like, I. I was just waiting to get jumped.

[Francis]

I know.

[Dave]

Thought that was just like a regular occurrence.

[Francis]

I thought, I thought, I thought I was going to be a victim of the knockout game.

[Dave]

Yeah, I forgot about that.

[Francis]

Or someone would just. All of a sudden I'd wake up in a bush and be like, ah, what the happened? 17 hoodlums have, you know.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Come up behind me, knock me out.

[Ron]

Yeah. Why don't people play that anymore?

[Dave]

I don't know.

[Ron]

No one plays that anymore. They used to be such a popular game.

[Dave]

New game.

[Francis]

What a relief.

[Ron]

Yeah. That they moved on to Fortnite.

[Francis]

They found. They found that that was not nice.

[Ron]

Yeah. That or like that you would wind up in an alley. Like you'd get chased into an alley that didn't have any, like, exit.

[Dave]

And there's really. There's like, not even any alleys.

[Ron]

There's no. There's no dead end alleys in New York.

[Francis]

No.

[Ron]

Brooklyn that have like, beautiful houses that line.

[Francis]

Yeah. Carriage house.

[Ron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

Every single one of which has a ring. Camera on the doorstep.

[Ron]

I would hate getting chased into a carriage house.

[Dave]

Alley flock cameras.

[Francis]

As far as I can tell, the only city that actually has alleys is Gotham.

[Dave]

Yeah. Yeah. Chicago's got alleys. And I will say I did. I was once in a situation in Chicago where I was pretty certain I was gonna get jumped and I ran. Took off. Headed for the hills.

[Ron]

What?

[Dave]

Yeah. Where like, close to l Somewhere in Lincoln Park. I don't remember exactly where I was, but I remember I was with two of my friends, and we were walking down the street, and there was this dude that was, like, standing, and he was like, you guys know how to get to the subway? Super sketchy guy. He's like, do you know how to get to the. The train from here? And I was like, oh, yeah. It's just, like, right there, like, right down the street. He was in front of us, and then he just walked right by the street that I told him to go down. And then he was walking in front of us, and he started getting, like, going super slow. Like, I think he was waiting for us to pass and then strike. So then I crossed the street. He crosses the street, too. And then I'm gone.

[Francis]

Yeah, you're gone?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

All three of you?

[Dave]

Oh, yeah. One time, I think I led the charge.

[Ron]

Who ran first?

[Dave]

No, you did. Yeah.

[Ron]

And they started running behind.

[Dave]

Yeah. I think I said, like, let's run. There was, like. Because there was, like, a bar at the end of the. At the end of the street. I'd rather run. And that guy be like, wow, those people are racist. Than the other way around. Oh, he's black. He was black. Yes.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Does that have anything to do with it? Absolutely. No, no, no, I'm kidding.

[Ron]

That was a scary part.

[Francis]

Roan in Chicago executed one of the most amazing moves I've ever seen when we were facing peril, which is that when we were shooting Surviving Barstool, the first. The one I was in.

[Ron]

Yeah. Season four or whatever.

[Francis]

Yeah. We were sitting outside of the office just on the steps one night, and a group of three guys with balaclavas. Shaisis.

[Ron]

Yeah. They were all eating baklava.

[Francis]

I always get the mask confused with the Turkish.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

They were coming up with a tray of baklavas.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

And we were like, why?

[Francis]

And they were all wearing them.

[Dave]

Whoa. The kids are calling them shiesties these days.

[Francis]

Okay, that's fine.

[Dave]

Banned in Philadelphia.

[Francis]

Are they?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

That feels racist.

[Dave]

Well, it's because the people in Philly keep acting up in their shies.

[Ron]

I'm sure people are still having a fun time with shisties.

[Francis]

True.

[Dave]

Probably.

[Francis]

Well, we were sitting there, and three guys wearing shiesteys came up. And I'm sitting, and I'm not paying attention. I don't even see them coming. And Roan just quietly taps me on the shoulder. He goes, maybe we should get inside. Is that what you said?

[Ron]

Yeah, but I moved.

[Francis]

He did it. So like, in such a non racist way. It was like every part of his culturization.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Francis]

From his life in battle rap, everything was like, I'm going, like, who wants

[Ron]

to be a millionaire? Yeah. It was like Slumdog Millionaire. And it all led up to that moment.

[Francis]

Correct.

[Ron]

He.

[Francis]

I'm going to deliver warning like Sachin Tendulkar. That is not. Oh, look out. We need to go. Yeah, it's. We might want to like.

[Dave]

Yeah, no, that's what I love about Ron is how comfortable he is around minorities.

[Francis]

What did you say? Do you remember the words you said?

[Ron]

I think it was something like what you said, but I think it was more than three guys. I think there were five. And they came. They. They walked really close to the wall. When they bent the corner and we ran inside and they're like, we ain't on none.

[Dave]

Oh, that means they're on some. They were like.

[Francis]

They were like. They were like, we're not like that. We don't do those types of.

[Ron]

And the one guy was like, we students.

[Francis]

Yes, that's right. Yeah. He didn't use the verb.

[Dave]

I would have popped my head out and be like, that does nothing for me. Year it's five dudes wearing a mask in the middle of the night.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

We were outside drinking wine.

[Dave]

Oh, they would have had. They would have carved you guys up.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Just played around with you.

[Ron]

Yeah. They're going to make us dance.

[Dave]

You guys sitting outside drinking wine.

[Ron]

They're going to make a strip. Yeah, that was. There was another time when we were walking through Chicago and a guy tried to, like, corner us. We might have been right around then. And he, like, tried to like. He was like, asking us, like, what time it was or something like that. And we, like, had to.

[Francis]

Was that when I was. Was you, me and Rico.

[Ron]

No, it was a time. It was before then, but. You mean you. Rico and I had a. I've had

[Francis]

some good nights in Chicago. One of the best was with the two of you.

[Dave]

Which one?

[Francis]

One where we went to that nice restaurant.

[Dave]

The one when you had told us about your divorce.

[Ron]

No, no, that was another nice restaurant.

[Francis]

That was not a nice time.

[Dave]

That was a way worse than that restaurant was great. What do you mean?

[Ron]

Duck. Duck. Goat.

[Dave]

Yeah. That place was fire.

[Francis]

Okay, well, I'm glad you had such a good time.

[Dave]

Chili noodles. Those were incredible. The chili pout. Chili powder noodles. What were they called?

[Ron]

Yeah, there was like. There's some duck dish, like a lamb.

[Dave]

I mean, I'm not. I'm gonna be honest. That was that food was way better than the food that we had at the.

[Ron]

The Spanish place.

[Dave]

Game of Thrones place we went to.

[Francis]

You thought so.

[Ron]

Yeah, it was Grease here.

[Francis]

Wasn't even close.

[Dave]

It was. I mean, it's hard to compare. It's two completely different types of food.

[Francis]

Dude, that you. That. What you're. That's very Larry David type thing that you're describing is that, like, I gathered you two for a dinner to tell you this big announcement of a tragic thing in my life, and the only thing that you remembered was the quality of the spices.

[Dave]

I remember everything from the dinner. And I've made it clear before. I knew for three weeks before you

[Ron]

told Ron, he was like, hunched over his noodles being like. What did you.

[Dave]

So I was kind of just letting.

[Ron]

Him Telling you about the divorce.

[Dave]

I was letting Roan catch up while I checked into my hotel and ate

[Francis]

my food and complained about your hotel. And still a very lauded the noodles.

[Dave]

Yeah. Four Seasons, Ritz Carlton, Citizen M. I mean, what is that? That's nuts.

[Ron]

Certainly not.

[Dave]

But anyway, I liked it. I like the Citizen M. I found that out that weekend.

[Francis]

No, you don't.

[Dave]

Yeah, it's nice. It's tight.

[Ron]

It feels like you're. You've built yourself into a PC.

[Dave]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ron]

It feels like you're in a massive PC.

[Dave]

I am the graphics card.

[Ron]

That's what it feels like. Can you believe you fucking built a PC for content?

[Francis]

Did you finish it? Does it work?

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah, it's done.

[Francis]

Did you do the whole thing on camera?

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

And did you do it with instructional videos and stuff like that?

[Dave]

Yeah, I mean, it caught.

[Francis]

They all.

[Dave]

Every part comes with like a big packet of instructions and stuff. That's why I always say it's like Legos. Like, it's. It's pretty easy. But I. I mean, I It up, you know, which is bound to happen. There's something always up. Like, I went to turn it on and it didn't turn on. And then it took me three hours to figure out how to get it on. And I realized that it was just one pin was. Had to go down. One thing.

[Francis]

Oh, no.

[Dave]

Yeah, but it's better than. Because, like, sometimes that happens and then it turns out like, you fried the motherboard on accident. Like, something like that. So it's better than, like, at least it works.

[Ron]

I'm surprised you did that because, like, I had you pegged as a lazy piece of.

[Dave]

No, no, no. That's mooc.

[Ron]

O. Okay. I knew I was one of you.

[Dave]

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[Francis]

Every once in a while you do something that just reminds me how much potential you're wasting. Oh yeah, just how much. Unbelievable. Like brilliant.

[Ron]

He like solves the genome or like creates a geodesic dome from scratch or some shit like that.

[Dave]

I think building a PC is the easiest way to trick people into thinking you're smart. If you guys like did it or understood how easy it was, you, it's not that impressive.

[Francis]

I cannot do that.

[Dave]

You absolutely can.

[Francis]

There is no fucking way. 1000 and I was telling this to a friend of mine last night because I didn't watch the video but I saw that you had done it and I just assumed like you made it. And I was like, you know, he is somebody who possesses knowledge and sort of the capacity for a certain skill set that could not be more opposite from what I'm good at.

[Ron]

I disagree. I think that he's right that if you were obsessed with computers, like you would put it together like an espresso.

[Dave]

Yeah. It's literally, it's no different than that.

[Ron]

Like a piece of furniture. Or like I can't do that shit.

[Dave]

Like I wouldn't if I went to your apartment and tried to make an espresso I would not be able to figure out.

[Francis]

You could learn how to make the espresso the way that I make it in far less time than it would take me to learn how to make a computer the way you do.

[Ron]

Yeah, but you maybe affect the craft every day.

[Francis]

Oh, you'll never touch that computer again.

[Dave]

Well, no, but it's just once it's

[Ron]

built, that's all the work. Yeah, it's like you're. You're doing a long process of honing perfection. And he just had to go through it once and he's done.

[Dave]

I also play time.

[Ron]

Huh.

[Dave]

There's also a game called PC Building Simulator that I've played, and that kind of, you know, makes you more familiar with everything. What you work in like a build. You work in, like, a PC factor, like a store. And you. And you. You get like, orders and you have to fulfill the order.

[Ron]

Oh, my God.

[Dave]

I think I played it for like an hour and then I was like, that's a lot.

[Ron]

That's a lot.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah, it was a lot.

[Ron]

That's brutal. Who's that for?

[Dave]

People that. I mean, it's. It's not really something that you can just do whenever you want to do it.

[Ron]

How many, like, people play a game like that? Like a super niche, like the game where you could be a bus driver. Like, how many people play shit like that?

[Dave]

It depends on the game. Like, those games, their. Their lifespan is usually pretty quick, but, like, some of them will catch, catch on, and like, millions of people will be playing. Like that one. Have you seen the one of the hide and seek? And you like, paint yourself like that all the time. That's like a very, like, probably didn't really take much to make it. And it's like kind of like a. I don't know, what do they call it? They call it. Is it an indie game or. I don't know, but like, that. There's definitely, like, millions of people that were playing that at the time. I'm sure it's gone down already.

[Ron]

Clips look fun.

[Dave]

It looks fun as. Have you seen that, Francis?

[Francis]

No.

[Dave]

You're like a little. You're like a guy and it's like you play hide and seek, but you have time to, like, paint yourself into, like, the wall.

[Francis]

Oh, that's cool.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Dave]

So, like, some people will do it and, like, I mean, they'll go crazy and like, they'll paint, like, the. The whole thing so it completely matches. It's.

[Ron]

It'll make you into like a security camera. Yeah, exactly.

[Dave]

Yeah, you could do anything with it.

[Francis]

Wow.

[Dave]

It's a pretty fun idea. I've never played it, but if you

[Ron]

were just painting yourself as security cameras, you would build your own PC.

[Francis]

Are you guys talking about real life?

[Dave]

Come again? We're talking about.

[Francis]

Goes around like a maze or something and paints himself into the wall.

[Dave]

No, no, it like, but there are

[Ron]

videos of that too where it's like the eight. Eight special forces people like tried to go on a hide and seek mission. I think they pop off in like. Yeah, this is Japan and Korea and stuff. But it happens in the US So

[Dave]

like you start like that and then you're in, there's a dunk. There's a bunch of different like maps too. So like people like this one's in a museum. Like people will paint themselves into the, into the photo.

[Francis]

Oh, cool.

[Dave]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Francis]

So now he's against the wall and

[Ron]

then people come in with guns and they try to shoot you.

[Dave]

They try to find him.

[Francis]

He just went pure black.

[Dave]

Well, I mean, I think this is just kind of a sped up demonstration.

[Francis]

I don't care.

[Dave]

All right, well say that before we start explaining the entire thing.

[Francis]

I thought maybe you had something, maybe you had.

[Dave]

I don't really care either. I've never even played the game. I'm trying to explain a game that I've never played. I think I did a decent job. Hide and seek. But you paint yourself at the end.

[Francis]

I think that, that me saying that is indicative of where I'm at right now. You asked me about where I'm at. I, I'm in a. I'm in a place. I'm in the deepest place of indifference in my life that I've been in many years.

[Dave]

Really?

[Ron]

That's actually a desirable trait. That's nonchalance.

[Dave]

Indifference is a gift.

[Ron]

Yeah. Nonchalance is the best. Is the best trait.

[Francis]

That is not nonchalant. It is just pure checked outedness.

[Ron]

Shalom. Checked outedness.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

But you. So you are shalant, but you, you just are.

[Francis]

Oh, I don't even think I'm. I wouldn't there. I wouldn't call myself shalant.

[Dave]

So then that would mean you're nonchalant.

[Francis]

There is no chalance that can be applied in one way or the other. Because I'm just.

[Dave]

How is that possible?

[Francis]

Because nonchalant means like low key.

[Dave]

Yeah. So you're midchalant.

[Francis]

I'm talthy shalomant.

[Ron]

Got it.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Ron]

That makes that Now I understand it now.

[Dave]

Yeah, I get it.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

You're in a nice. You're. You're in a sweet spot. You're in purgatory.

[Francis]

I don't know, man. Wherever I'm at, I was driving back today, and I mean, really, the only thing that I care about is this podcast.

[Dave]

Well, that's fine because it's doing great.

[Francis]

Yeah. But if it cools off, I'm out.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Dave]

We're all. If that happens.

[Francis]

You know what I mean? Like. Like, if we don't keep. If. This is all I've got, really, is what I'm trying to say.

[Dave]

But that's not true. I think you're just. You're just in. It's the summer. It's August. It's been a long year. We're getting ready for the Invitational, all three of us, and I think our games.

[Ron]

Our game's not where it needs to be, but we're gonna be. We're gonna have it there. We're gonna have it there when the time comes.

[Dave]

Do you have any, like, tape that you could send to me and I could kind of just comb through it and see if I can find any glaring issues?

[Francis]

It's all mental. It's what you said. I swing well when I'm chalon.

[Dave]

Yeah. I think I'm gonna have to get upstate for a little bit.

[Ron]

Yeah, you're gonna have to be his coach.

[Dave]

I'm have to get on that couch for a couple weeks at least.

[Ron]

You're gonna have to go to his boy's house.

[Dave]

Yeah. I gotta get inside your brain.

[Francis]

I think what I need. I thought about going home to Maine and just spending time with my family.

[Dave]

That's what we need. Thought about it, but is that a distraction?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I don't know. That's where I'm like, should I prepare or not? Should I continue to prepare all the way to the end? Because at this point, it feels like cramming.

[Dave]

No, no, no, it's not cramming, but don't overdo it. Then it's cramming. Like, how. How much have we played this week? What are we at? How many holes?

[Francis]

More than ever. I. I played 27 on. So you're overdue 27 Friday, 18 Saturday, 18 Sunday.

[Ron]

You're over training.

[Dave]

You're over training. I'm limiting you to nine holes a day.

[Francis]

That's not a bad idea.

[Dave]

Yeah, you're overdoing it. You're over analyzing your swing, probably trying to over correct stuff. You just got to go back to a simple Nine.

[Ron]

And. And cool it. But. And the other question is like, are you coming enough?

[Dave]

Exactly. That was where I was going tons.

[Ron]

So you are coming a lot more

[Francis]

than I should be.

[Dave]

Okay, so let's pull back a little bit. I think we've already kind of cracked the code.

[Ron]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

Golf less, come less.

[Ron]

All you're doing is golfing and coming. You're in this loop of golfing.

[Dave]

How are you expecting to. And you. No rest. How are you expecting to improve?

[Ron]

You're in this vortex of nutting and

[Dave]

swinging and putting, not golfing. You're coming. And when you're not coming, you're golfing.

[Ron]

There needs to be a break. Francis is lost in there. We don't know where you are compared to those two things. A full Reese. I would give a couple, like, two day come golf detox where you don't touch your dick. Or a wood.

[Dave]

Yeah, I think that's smart.

[Ron]

Or wood.

[Dave]

When.

[Francis]

What is the.

[Dave]

So we're recording today. We're recording tomorrow. Are you going back upstate tomorrow?

[Francis]

Probably on Wednesday.

[Dave]

Wednesday.

[Francis]

I have to shoot something tomorrow.

[Dave]

And what is our. What's the shoot?

[Francis]

Golf tomorrow.

[Dave]

And how many holes?

[Francis]

I think 18.

[Ron]

Call off the shoot.

[Francis]

Maybe nine.

[Ron]

Tell Trent.

[Dave]

Yeah, they can wait.

[Francis]

Shooting with Paige Spiranac.

[Ron]

Oh, burying the hatchet.

[Francis]

Yeah, I would say the hatchet's buried.

[Dave]

We'll see.

[Ron]

Really?

[Francis]

Yeah. She had nice things to say to me about me on the. When she shot with Frankie and them.

[Ron]

What'd she say?

[Francis]

Frankie also said something really nice. Meant a lot to me.

[Dave]

What'd he say and what did she say?

[Francis]

She said, well, he. He asked her, like, how she handled the whole, you know, backlash of the Internet invitational stuff. And she was like, it was tough, but, you know, she said she was

[Ron]

getting 10,000 death threats a day.

[Dave]

Holy shit. That's more than like, the President.

[Francis]

I said bin Laden.

[Ron]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Francis]

I was like, those are Bin Laden number. Yeah.

[Dave]

That's an insane amount of death, like, legitimate death threats.

[Ron]

10,000 a day. Holy. And that's not. And there's probably more people who are just wishing violence.

[Dave]

Yeah, of course. Yeah. Because she's not. She's not including.

[Francis]

And then there's a bunch of people who, like, have the wrong address.

[Ron]

Yeah, right.

[Dave]

And there's probably people probably like, that's probably like 30. 30 to 40,000.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

And then there's may even be some positivity. Yeah. Among there. But probably not.

[Francis]

Well, the point is, is that, you know, as soon as I finished sending my death threat to her, I called her and was like, I just want you to know, like, you'll be fine. Whatever. And we talked, and I was just. Cause I did feel partially responsible.

[Dave]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Francis]

Cause I was the one that called her out. Called it all out. And anyway, the point is that she, with Frankie was like, you know, Francis has been great. He reached out and was. Was great, and Frankie was. Frankie responded. Yeah. He's so thoughtful about that kind of stuff, which is so nice. What a nice thing to say.

[Dave]

That is nice.

[Francis]

I like it that he thinks I'm a thoughtful person.

[Dave]

I guess you cut. You are. I mean, you are with. I get. Yeah. That specifically. I know. Mook told me that you called him, gave him some good advice.

[Ron]

You did.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I like to help people when. When they're back there, when they're fucking in the shit, when they're in an alley. Because I've been in the shit.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And I came out of it.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And so I can tell people when you are in the shit that you will get out of it. It'll. It'll stop.

[Ron]

That's what you said to Mook. What'd you say to Mook? Verbatim?

[Francis]

What did I say to Mook? I called Mook and I was like, boy, the people's champ, you know? I was like, it's our hero. It's our guy. You know? But he was like, man, I just feel like, you know, it's. He was really stressed. You just get so stressed about it, and you think the world is kind of, like, caving in and watching you and everybody.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I mean, that's how it feels for sure.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

When you're in the. When you're in the trenches.

[Ron]

Yeah. And so how'd you tell them to dig out of the trenches? You gave him the spade and said.

[Francis]

I said, be funny.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Yeah. That's a good one.

[Francis]

I said, whatever you do, just try to be funny about it. Don't like. Because that's a skill you have. And it's. It's.

[Ron]

It.

[Francis]

It will. It will age better if you try to assign humor to whatever messaging you are. You're trying to get out there.

[Ron]

You're so good with that kind of stuff.

[Dave]

Thoughtful.

[Ron]

God damn.

[Francis]

I mean. No, that is really good at it, too.

[Ron]

I didn't tell you.

[Francis]

Given me more advice in my career than, like, my manager.

[Ron]

That's not true. That can't be true at all.

[Francis]

It is definitely true.

[Ron]

I was giving Austin amazing advice. I was like, go at Mooc.

[Dave]

Ye.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

I was like, get, get, get.

[Francis]

Kelly keys.

[Dave]

You're on the other end of the call.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Yeah. I mean, I'm trying to think if Ron's ever given me good advice. I. I can think of a couple of times where he gave me bad advice. Bad advice.

[Ron]

I give and I'm sure Francis can too. I give broad arrays of advice.

[Dave]

Yeah. Ron told me to go in and be like pounding on the table. And I walked in and it just immediately I was like, this table will never be pounded.

[Ron]

Right, so you didn't do the advice.

[Dave]

And then I. Well, you told me how much to ask for. And then in Dave's words, it was the most delusional asked he's heard. He's asked he's heard in 20 years.

[Ron]

But he also said that you were getting less views than average. Jordan Woodruff. Tick tock.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which ended up not being true. He had the numbers wrong, but it didn't matter. At the end of the day, what

[Francis]

happens when you lock 18 co workers in an office for one week to compete for a quarter million dollars of CA? This is Surviving Barstool Season 5, presented by Rumble Premium. Each episode released three hours early, so get it ad free before anyone else. Only when you join Rumble Premium. Surviving barstool premieres Sunday, August 9th at 5:00pm on Rumble Premium and everywhere else

[Ron]

at 8:00pm Right, exactly. So if you had pounded the table and came in with the right numbers. I also told you to come prepared with a stack of information. I said drown them in information.

[Dave]

I had.

[Ron]

I said pull up the Uzi of fucking facts.

[Dave]

I had a whole like PowerPoint and shit. Just never even. Never even turned the laptop around.

[Francis]

Did you know that in 1941, Japan.

[Dave]

Yeah, just the total declared war. Just random facts, loose information. I don't know. Roan told me to just bring any info.

[Ron]

Yeah, honestly, that. That is.

[Francis]

The average kangaroo weighs 48 pounds as an adult male.

[Ron]

It's a classic debate. I mean it's. It's a debate tactic. You. You give the person more stuff than they have a chance to an. And like, even if they like rebut like four out of eight things, it's like, well, what about these four things? You could. Didn't have any answer for that. That's true.

[Dave]

That's a good strategy. I do like that.

[Ron]

You gotta drown his ass.

[Francis]

I watched the movie Arrivals last night.

[Dave]

Oh, what'd you think?

[Francis]

Spectacular.

[Dave]

Really?

[Francis]

I love them. I've seen it before. Oh, once before. Amy Adams.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah, I've seen it. I had a hard time.

[Francis]

It's confusing.

[Dave]

Like following it it's confusing, but I've also. I've only seen it once. Maybe I gotta.

[Ron]

The second time watching it is way. Is way better because you get the timeline of it. Yeah.

[Francis]

You know that the. Spoiler alert, flash forward 30 seconds. If you're listening, you understand that all of her flashbacks are flash forwards.

[Dave]

Okay. So I don't. I don't think I ever picked up on that the first time I watched it.

[Francis]

She's seeing her future because she's learned ultimately, she's learned the language of. Of the.

[Dave]

Of the aliens.

[Francis]

Aliens. Which unravels basically time. And you can read it forward to backward or backward.

[Dave]

Yeah, I remember. I remember the ending part, but yeah, I got to rewatch that. I watched that with my mom and I feel like we were looking. We wanted to watch like a sci fi movie. And then I feel like that was like not what we were looking for.

[Francis]

Oh, it's. That's surprising. I mean, it's a good. It's. It's not like a scary sci fi movie.

[Dave]

Yeah, we thought we were looking for beautiful movie.

[Francis]

Oh, okay.

[Ron]

I thought it was really good. And then I. This, this week, after I got back from the hospital, I nodded out to the Slaptic. The slapstick version of Arrivals Project. Hail Mary.

[Dave]

Yeah, I watched it, of course.

[Ron]

Yeah, it's like. It's like Goofy Arrival.

[Francis]

I liked it though.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I thought it was solid.

[Ron]

I thought it was good. It's like. It's like a pretty similar.

[Francis]

I saw that with Mook in theaters.

[Dave]

Yeah, you did. And that's so funny.

[Francis]

I saw that with Mook in theaters and he was tweeting the whole time about Austin.

[Dave]

Yeah, he's not.

[Ron]

Did he.

[Dave]

Did he. Did he get scared?

[Francis]

No, we both got emotional.

[Dave]

Oh, wow. That's pretty.

[Francis]

About the relationship that Ryan. What's his face.

[Dave]

Did you guys have a seat in between you at least?

[Francis]

No. No, we didn't.

[Dave]

Yikes.

[Francis]

But it wasn't. They were lie flat seats, so we had plenty of room. We were fine.

[Ron]

You guys were laying down next to each other.

[Francis]

There was no touching.

[Dave]

Was there a barrier between you guys or did you guys get like the.

[Francis]

We each had our own armrest.

[Ron]

The love seat.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And I'm trying to think. Mook.

[Dave]

We.

[Francis]

Because we got the ultra premium tickets I've talked about.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

On the way home, he filled up with more food.

[Dave]

Remember when we saw Predator with him? Or was it Predator? Or was it Alien?

[Francis]

Alien. Something was so bad.

[Dave]

Oh, I thought the movie was great.

[Ron]

Okay.

[Francis]

I didn't Mind it.

[Dave]

We enjoyed it. What the hell is that?

[Ron]

That.

[Dave]

Trying to tarnish our memories. We had a great time watching that. It's not. It's not a phenomenal movie.

[Francis]

I didn't think it was very good.

[Dave]

I thought it was decent. Mook was terrified, like, jumping out of his seat, scared. I was like, bro, like, what. What has happened that has scared you at all in this.

[Francis]

What a lazy piece of.

[Dave]

So lazy.

[Ron]

Yeah, he was a bad guy. Bad guy.

[Francis]

Harry, are you telling me that if I just stop smoking weed, I'll find motivation again? Is it that simp?

[Dave]

Yeah, I think you got to smoke a lot of weed for a long time and then stop. I don't think you're smoking enough weed for it to really alter your motivation.

[Francis]

No, I'm sort of stuck in the middle ground.

[Dave]

Yeah. So you kind of got to go all the way or none at all.

[Ron]

You haven't hit rock bottom.

[Francis]

Yeah, I'm doing it in moderation, and that's hurting me.

[Dave]

No, I think you're doing it in moderation, so it's not hurting you. I think, unfortunately, this is just your reality.

[Ron]

It's not your reality.

[Francis]

You're absolutely. And you're laughing, and it sucks because how true it is. This is one of those truths that, like, really sucks because I'm really fucking stuck right now. I don't want to do anything.

[Dave]

It's. It's August.

[Ron]

I'm.

[Dave]

Dude, wait till September.

[Francis]

Shut up about August. I can work throughout the fucking year. We're not teachers, all right? I'm not expecting to have some time off right now. I just am not willing. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything.

[Dave]

I don't think anyone ever fully loses the idea of, like, feeling like, you should have time off in the summer. Like, I. Although no one does after, you know, high school or college. But, like, it still feels like when you're working in the summer, sometimes it feels like something's missing. You're like, why the fuck am I. Like, I'm supposed to be playing with my toys at home right now.

[Ron]

Why am I podcasting? I should be with my Tonka trucks.

[Dave]

Yeah, I saw a tweet yesterday. Someone said, like, no one actually likes summer. It's hot and it's humid. But it's the only time that, like, anyone has ever experienced, like, full freedom with, like, nothing to do do. Because when you're a kid, you have nothing to do in the summer.

[Francis]

Yeah, dude, my parents. Oh, they just built up.

[Dave]

This is gonna it's my. This is my. Come back to the golf game.

[Francis]

They just built a pool. Yeah.

[Ron]

Get it out.

[Francis]

Yeah. Okay. So, I mean, we've lived on our. At our home in MAINE for what, 34 years now? And my whole life, we never had a pool. We, you know, beautifully. We lived on the ocean, but it was ocean that came in over the mud flats. The water was never more than five feet deep.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And you'd have this tiny window of high tide during which we could theoretically jump off the dock. And again, by the way, that's only like the second half of July and August as far as the entire year goes in Maine. Not to mention, you go down there to swim. You got horse flies the size of fucking bats biting chunks, like drawing blood.

[Dave]

Those things are fun, painful.

[Francis]

And the only way to escape them is to go underwater. And the second you come out of the water, they land on your face and they bite you in your face. Just misery swimming. I don't know. Wasn't great where we lived. And then they wait till we've been away from the house my whole life, all this. And now my sister has kids, so they build a pool. My sister's up there. I think my parents are doing everything they can to entice me to give up and move back home.

[Ron]

Home.

[Dave]

Oh, I mean, that's not unlikely. I'm sure your parents would love for you to move home.

[Francis]

This wouldn't be. It's not your typical, like, I moved back in with my.

[Ron]

Or what.

[Dave]

What's going on out there? Lots of chatter.

[Ron]

It's got to be a fiest. That I think.

[Dave]

Yeah. I, I it up.

[Ron]

It's the opposite of it.

[Dave]

It wasn't worth. It was going to be funny, and then I it up. Continue. I apologize.

[Ron]

Should be a party word.

[Dave]

I apologize. I apologize. It was. Hey, it was a swing and a miss. It happens. You're up.

[Francis]

I'm not. I don't need to be up.

[Ron]

Get in the box.

[Dave]

I want to hear more.

[Francis]

I'm quite down.

[Dave]

I was. I was mad because they were disrupting the story, and then I. That's to the story.

[Francis]

I don't mind. I was just gonna say, though, that, like, I. I think that when you We. I used to have this stigma about people that, like, moved back in with their parents. Remember? Yeah, that was always seen as like a. You're giving away up.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Or like. Like, you tell yourself it's a reset, but it's like you hear them moving back in with their parents.

[Francis]

Yeah. Move back home. Well, would you been living at home?

[Dave]

Would you ever move? Just, just move to Maine or would you want to move in with your parents?

[Francis]

I think I would. I think I would move into the pool house now. Wow.

[Dave]

I think that's a bad idea.

[Francis]

Well, I think that I've tried enough that I've proven it doesn't work.

[Dave]

No, this is, I, I actually think this is a really bad idea.

[Francis]

I think we've gotten, we've gotten to this point where like there's just no more, there's no more point to try.

[Dave]

You can't live in the pool house.

[Francis]

Why not?

[Dave]

Living in the pool, I promise you. You think you're at like rock bottom. Living in the pool house will be rock bottom.

[Francis]

I can be a pool house guy in the summer and then in the winter when they go to Florida, I'll be a snowbird with them.

[Dave]

This is bad.

[Francis]

And I'll live in.

[Dave]

I don't even like this idea.

[Francis]

They don't have a pool in Florida, but they do have the ocean.

[Dave]

You're going to be walking through the dew grass every morning to go get a cup of coffee. And from the main house I'll bring

[Francis]

one of my two extreme machines up to the pool house. They have an outlet there, it's fine.

[Ron]

Yeah, but you're going to be like having white Negronis at 9 in the morning with like your bathrobe open, making some waffles that are like, might start

[Francis]

drinking and then like banging some 58 year old neighbor.

[Ron]

Yeah, or like a Hispanic.

[Francis]

Yeah, that might be what happens.

[Ron]

Housekeeper from over the block or something.

[Francis]

She's got like three teenage 18, 19 year old boys. That, that's my mom's boyfriend. He's 37. Apparently he was a comedian one time.

[Dave]

Now he lives in the pool.

[Francis]

Now he lives in his parents pool house. I hate him. Francis Fr.

[Ron]

Hey Francis.

[Francis]

You can call me dad.

[Ron]

What's wrong with these kids man? You got to whip these kids into shape. Bitching at her about them. Why? You love a depra.

[Francis]

I'm giving her son's for living at home.

[Ron]

Still.

[Dave]

You guys don't know anything about.

[Francis]

Why don't you guys have a job? Why don't you have a job? I did already.

[Dave]

It didn't work.

[Ron]

It's time to move out kids. Mom and I are downsizing.

[Dave]

I think moving to Maine would be great, but I don't think moving into the pool house would be good.

[Ron]

Well, can we see a rendering of a pool house?

[Francis]

Yeah, I'll show you a photo of the pool house.

[Ron]

Are we talking 650 square feet?

[Francis]

Feet. Let me look here. Let me look. I don't know how. It's not big.

[Ron]

I mean, but there's. There's a toilet, a shower, and a kitchenette.

[Francis]

I think you've hit the nail on the head.

[Dave]

It's a condo. You'd be staying in a. Like, a condo? Pretty much.

[Ron]

Is that Stu's pool house?

[Dave]

Kind of looks like it.

[Francis]

That's the. That's the pool house. And you can go to the right. I mean, it's fucking sick.

[Ron]

Oh, it's.

[Francis]

Turns out building a pool in Maine is not as expensive as you would have thought, by the way. It's really not that bad. It's one. Isn't that sick.

[Dave]

It's sick. This would be dark. This would be bad.

[Francis]

I get to wake up every morning for like, seven weeks of the year and walk straight out the door into the pool.

[Dave]

And then what happens when it's 10 degrees outside?

[Francis]

Ski, skate.

[Dave]

I skate across the pool.

[Francis]

Small pond hockey.

[Ron]

Cold plunge.

[Francis]

Invite my girlfriend's kids over to play with me.

[Ron]

All the neighborhood kids playing on.

[Francis]

You guys are laughing at this. I'm not. Not serious.

[Ron]

I think it looks like living at a resort. It looks like you're living at an Auberg property.

[Dave]

That's why I think it'll get dark. I think it would be sick for, like, you know, maybe two weeks. And then that week three, you'd be

[Francis]

like, dude, my parents built this because they were like, we want to have a place that you and your family are going to want to come visit. And I'm like, you are my family. I must visit you. I don't have a family. I have nobody visit you. I mean, I don't even think my sperm works anymore.

[Dave]

Oh, man.

[Ron]

That's not true.

[Dave]

Come on.

[Ron]

That's not.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's what I've been saying. Come on. Come on.

[Ron]

You got to be putting it. You. You have to maybe run it through a round of tests then.

[Francis]

No, no, I did all that. It worked fine.

[Ron]

But then. What's your problem?

[Francis]

Been riding a lot of city bikes.

[Ron]

Yeah, those. The.

[Francis]

The bumping ones have bumpy.

[Ron]

They have hot seats, too. Yeah, they'll just cook it. It's like putting it on your nuts on a George Foreman.

[Dave]

You got to stand up. You got to know right when you got to stand up before the bumps. Before the bumps. If you don't stand before those bumps, you're.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

You know what I'm talking. Like, you ever almost. Almost get hit one and then you Pop up at the last minute and you're like, thank God.

[Ron]

Yeah. That would have gone through that one.

[Dave]

Felt that one. I could feel that one in the arms.

[Ron]

Pink shocked me.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Damn.

[Ron]

Francis. Ride standing up. Francis is a great rider.

[Dave]

Ride standing up the whole way.

[Francis]

No, no, no, no.

[Ron]

But he'll do a better thing.

[Francis]

I'll do some.

[Dave]

Why do I feel like my entire youth like everyone rode standing up?

[Francis]

Only because you. It was cool. The bike was. Was too small. The seat was all the way down, all the. As far as possible.

[Dave]

Yeah, that is.

[Francis]

Everyone thought it was cool that way.

[Dave]

It was, but it kind of was.

[Francis]

It was cool.

[Ron]

Like Latinos were doing it, you know?

[Francis]

Yeah. You're riding like this and then hitting

[Dave]

that, and then you get to hit that pause. You know what I mean? Once you got the momentum going and

[Ron]

you're already standing up a hill, you have better leverage if you're standing up. You can like pump up a hill if you're really standing.

[Dave]

Have you ever gone up. Have you ever dumped like one of those bikes, like an actual like street bike where you go up and you're. You go on like gear one and you just gotta like fly, but you're barely moving. You're going like up one mile per hour.

[Ron]

That's how I used to be on the city bikes going over the bridge before I switched to electric. Yeah, like you're doing you. It probably takes 1,000 pumps to get up the.

[Dave]

Definitely Manhattan crawling.

[Francis]

You didn't ride those every day to work?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Work.

[Ron]

I wrote them home from work every day.

[Francis]

During COVID You rode analog bikes home from work every day?

[Dave]

I wouldn't even classify those as analog, bro.

[Francis]

That must have been. That's crazy.

[Dave]

Your legs must have been on fire.

[Francis]

I used to do that. Right? I've said this before. I used to ride home from the Jane Hotel at 3am Shit faced to punish myself.

[Ron]

Sweat it all out, would you guys?

[Dave]

Like those bikes are significantly slower than like a regular bike bike.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave]

Like, that's like, that's like, like the elliptical. I don't even know.

[Francis]

Like, so we didn't have a faster speed.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah. But like you ride one of those bikes and like you see someone on a regular bike go by the reg. Like a regular street bike goes the same speed as like one of the E bikes sometimes.

[Ron]

If you're a good rider.

[Dave]

I don't know. I feel like street bikes just fly.

[Francis]

Street bikes with the thin wheel.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yes.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Probably faster.

[Dave]

Yeah, definitely the, the. But those. I mean, the last time I Tried to ride one of those. I got. I just got off of it immediately.

[Ron]

Because you're like, is this broken?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

You can't even get momentum to start it.

[Dave]

No.

[Ron]

Did you guys see the. The bro? And it's only funny because he lives.

[Dave]

The guy jumping on.

[Ron]

Yeah, I saw that Brooklyn Bridge late

[Dave]

last night right before I went to bed. And I was like, I wish I did not see that.

[Francis]

That guy lived.

[Ron]

He was fine. He was in like, like stable condition. Not even critical condition at the hospital.

[Dave]

Why did he jump off? He was trying to kill himself.

[Ron]

I think he was an Uber Eats driver and he got ass naked and he jumped up. Off.

[Dave]

Yeah, that was, like, pretty dark.

[Ron]

You thought so?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

He lived.

[Dave]

He jumped off. He tried to use the Uber Eats bag as, like, a parachute.

[Ron]

Yeah. So he was trying to parachute. He had a plan. I don't know.

[Dave]

That whole thing just made me be like, these guys must all just be so miserable.

[Ron]

Oh, I think a lot of them are having a. A decent time.

[Dave]

You. So what do you. What. What do you think he did? I think he was like, up.

[Francis]

They're all unhappy.

[Ron]

No one's having a good time.

[Francis]

I mean, I always. Whenever I see them in the elevator in my building, I just tell them, I'm like, keep going.

[Ron]

Hang in there.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, you're almost there.

[Dave]

Did they bring a straw?

[Francis]

And they're like. They're like, I know. I'm okay. And I'm like, no, I just mean it's two more floors.

[Ron]

You actually take the stairs? Actually, yeah.

[Dave]

You got this. Hang in there. No napkins, though. Where'd the net.

[Ron]

What happened? I ordered a Coke Zero. This is a Diet Coke.

[Dave]

So now know I'm gonna get a full refund and you're gonna get fired.

[Ron]

You're gonna get sent back. Maybe that's what happened. Like, somebody, like, said, like, the. Oh, they said the order didn't get there.

[Dave]

Yeah. Probably took a picture of it. That shit's bro. When people, like, People like scamming them.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

It's like the guy's already making no money, and now you're gonna accuse him of stealing. Like, you got to be, like, evil.

[Ron]

The consequences are dire for that.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah. Like, you're going to get this guy fired because you didn't Want to pay $10 for your Popeye sandwich.

[Ron]

Yeah, I think someone here used to do that all the time. I don't even know if I want to say it. I don't want to say who, because that's a nasty.

[Dave]

I think a lot of people used to do that. Right when it was like first hitting the scene, you know, I feel like that Uber eats and door dash.

[Ron]

Domestics delivery.

[Dave]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ron]

But now we have imports.

[Dave]

It's gotten, it's gotten depressing. Like it went from being like this is crazy, I can order. I could have Chick Fil a here in 10 minutes to now you're like, why is that? That I can have chick Fil a here in 10 minutes?

[Ron]

Were they already. Are they making it on the way?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Did they already have it and they're coming?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Like it's like dim sum throughout the city where there's just someone riding around with chick Fil A all the time.

[Dave]

It really feels.

[Ron]

Just bing it and they'll drop it off like every. Like these three predictable Chick Fil A orders.

[Francis]

Dude, that dude jumping off the bridge is the equival of the horses in Central park collapsing.

[Dave]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

It's like, oh, everyone thought it was this romantic, cute New York thing and it's like, no, those horses are being worked to death.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

You're torturing them.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Now every 400 pound lady on the fucking back of it.

[Francis]

Yeah. Next thing you know like people are going to be protesting on behalf of doordash cyclists and stuff like that.

[Dave]

You know what the biggest downfall, the biggest problem for the doordash guys and the ubereats guys is that they'll never have the support of the bikers because the way they ride, it's not ethical.

[Ron]

They are unethical riders. Shits up, they're going 45 minute lane and they both have their legs over one side like they're riding side saddle on dainty women. Yeah.

[Francis]

Victorian England.

[Dave]

Like you want to feel like. I do feel bad for them and I, and I, I wish they had better circumstances but when you're riding down the street like, like those guys are a problem.

[Ron]

Some gay ass politician got like like a $100 million in Zon, right? Was it? Yeah, bro.

[Dave]

Yeah. He got, he got $100 million refunded in tips.

[Ron]

Right? Tips that they just had just been stolen from them.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

What the.

[Dave]

I guess like there was some. I might be wrong, but it was something like the default tip was set to be lower than what it was supposed to be. When you, when you. So like they had been getting like

[Francis]

5, 10 and it was, it was 5, 10 and 15.

[Dave]

Yeah. Something.

[Francis]

And now they've bumped it up to like 10, 15, 20 or something.

[Dave]

Something like that. I don't know. I don't know the exact thing But I know that. I guess, yeah, they were getting stolen. They were getting scammed.

[Francis]

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[Dave]

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[Ron]

each day after 24 hours.

[Dave]

See [e-mail] promos ends July 22nd at 11:59pm Eastern Time time.

[Francis]

Do you know what just occurred to me? I think the reason that I don't want to work hard anymore is because I stopped spending money.

[Ron]

There's nothing to, oh, you're not like earning something.

[Dave]

Nothing to work towards.

[Francis]

I don't need, I don't need to make money.

[Dave]

I see.

[Francis]

I used to be, I used to spend so much that I had to work hard.

[Dave]

I think it's time for a big purchase.

[Francis]

I think I need to get back into the spending.

[Dave]

Yeah, I think that's a good, good, a good idea. I think that's also like you don't want to make any drastic changes in your life right before this tournament, you know?

[Francis]

Oh, no. It's like if we need seriously dramatic changes.

[Dave]

No, no, no. Because it's like if you've been spending, it's like just spend and, and then we'll figure it out after the tournament.

[Ron]

I think it's the opposite. I think that you need to make a spending so big like that I

[Francis]

have to win the tournament to get me out of the.

[Ron]

You have to like Happy Gilmore.

[Francis]

I completely agree.

[Ron]

Where it's like, oh, I need to win this for my grandmom's soul. I, I, I need to make a spot bargain.

[Francis]

I want to be Standing over a putt on 18 and being like, oh my God. Yeah, I bought a house.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

In St. Barts.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Cash and. Or yeah, you need like a menacing Italian mobster like cracking his knuckles at you being like, you gotta make this public.

[Francis]

I don't.

[Dave]

Uncut gems. Like you need like an uncut jam situation.

[Francis]

Exactly.

[Dave]

That's the only way you make it up of this.

[Francis]

Right.

[Ron]

What did you get? A yacht?

[Francis]

Well, there's a lot of things I can think of.

[Dave]

Yacht would be sick.

[Ron]

A yacht would be amazing. It's like I gotta, I, I bought this yacht. Cash.

[Francis]

Art.

[Ron]

Art.

[Francis]

I like art. And you know, there's art.

[Ron]

Right.

[Francis]

Okay.

[Ron]

We could never go, we could never spend a day on art.

[Francis]

What if we just did like NetJets subscription. Right. I joined join a private jet service. Anytime that we travel from this point forward, we're flying private.

[Dave]

So does that subscription charge you even if you don't use it?

[Francis]

Well, yeah, I think you pay a subscribe a yearly fee to be a member. I don't know, it's not that much. And then each hour of, or, or yeah. Hour of flight that you do, you, you know, you, you have to buy a certain number of hours and you either use them or lose them. And then I think there's like a fuel cost on top of that. Probably something like that. I mean it's expensive.

[Dave]

I mean, I think let's do it.

[Ron]

Let's do it. Let's do it.

[Dave]

I think we do that. And honestly, I think showing up to the invitational in a private jet is the all time tone setter.

[Francis]

Absolutely.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

You're already spending the money.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

[Ron]

Right?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You guys see that? That's my winning right there.

[Ron]

This year's winnings, boys.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Ye.

[Francis]

Who's lining up for who's flying home on American in second place? I didn't see any other jets out on the tarmac there, Dave.

[Dave]

Just me and you. Only two guys with planes. A couple of winners.

[Ron]

Pink Steve,

[Dave]

I think that's a great idea. I think that's our best bet.

[Francis]

I think I build a second pool house at my parents home, finance it so that I can alternate between the two too.

[Dave]

And yeah, you're gonna have to get like a little bit of like a landing strip as well for your plane.

[Francis]

Sure. That's big.

[Dave]

It's big, but it shows confidence.

[Ron]

What does a private plane cost to buy outright?

[Dave]

10mil.

[Francis]

If I had to guess, there's a range.

[Ron]

Wait, there's a big range and you don't want A little. You don't want a two seater. You want something that somebody else is going to have to fly.

[Francis]

I think they're like 30 million. Yeah, I think like a really Good. Good.

[Ron]

Between 2 and 2 million and 100 million.

[Dave]

Well, 100's a little on the steep side for us right now.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's like 10 invitationals from.

[Ron]

But you win the invitational, you put it on a parlay.

[Dave]

Okay, now we're talking.

[Ron]

Now you get the 1.4 and you put it right on like a fat cheeks parlay.

[Dave]

Yeah, I like that. I love that. Actually. Next thing we know, we got a Kelsey 2 Tuddies. Yeah.

[Ron]

And then you got a plane.

[Dave]

And then we do the podcast that's. We just do it from the plane every time.

[Francis]

Time. Have you seen.

[Dave]

We just Uber to jfk.

[Francis]

There's an Instagram account, Peter bro. There's an Instagram account of a guy who sells private jets to people. And he. He shows the, you know, clients coming in and they're like, so what, what are you looking for? And they're like, well, this, that, and that. And the guy's like, yeah, okay, it's gonna be this. And like, how much are you willing to spend on X? And they're like, I don't know, 5 to 10? I was thinking, what client buying a private jet would ever agree to be on that fucking page?

[Dave]

I don't know. Yeah, what do you. So what do you think?

[Francis]

Have you ever. No, I mean, I think it's real. I just. My point is, like, I think it's Persians.

[Ron]

I think you're talking about Persian clients. Usually a Persian will try to flex their wealth.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

That's so.

[Francis]

That's so weird and gaudy. I think a big part of like.

[Ron]

But that's Persians, though. Gold curtain rod, high hair, Lamborghinis. True Shaws of Sunset.

[Francis]

Yes. They're always showing the price tag. I would think that, like, for so long, you know, rapper, wealth, whatever, it was like, here's my Maybach, here's my this, here's that. But you can't even guess how expensive this was.

[Dave]

You know what I mean? Like, I feel like it's also probably

[Francis]

MTV Cribs was always like, I have all of this.

[Dave]

Your.

[Francis]

Your assumption is correct. It was more money than God, but they never put price tags on it. And now there's price tags being included in this.

[Dave]

Yeah. But I'm wondering, like, are the clients typically, like, just like, old dudes?

[Francis]

No, not the one that I saw.

[Dave]

It was a young guy, Tyler.

[Francis]

You saw this

[Dave]

because I'm wondering, like, maybe, like I could see it easily being a situation too where they like, don't even really know what's being filmed, you know, the guy's like, you mind if I record her for a little something I'm doing?

[Francis]

Oh, like girls do porn, essentially.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah, that guy. Exactly. Yeah, that's the guy. That's the one. I saw that.

[Dave]

The guy from Succession.

[Francis]

Nicholas Braun.

[Ron]

Oh, this guy is. This guy's an actor. The white dude. Is he the rich European, like the entitled European? He's always doing skits where he like gets kicked out of clubs and stuff like that.

[Dave]

So you think we were duped?

[Ron]

This is a psyop.

[Dave]

Interesting.

[Ron]

This guy's involved. I'm pretty sure I could be wrong. Oh, it's not that guy. It looks like him. With this guy.

[Francis]

It's unbelievable.

[Ron]

Yeah, maybe I'm wrong.

[Francis]

This guy's a pretty damn good salesman. I mean, I guess.

[Dave]

Yeah, he can't be that good if he's on Tick Tock.

[Francis]

Oh, that's kind of what I wonder.

[Ron]

But I think that there's like the. The fake fame economy is like its own thing. Like you can get enough money and you're like, I actually want it. That's probably why the people agree to be filmed, because they're like, maybe they'll do a reality show on me.

[Dave]

Yeah, boring ass billionaires, most of them.

[Ron]

And they. But they are like, well, I want. I want the attention too.

[Dave]

Yeah, this.

[Ron]

It's like you. You don't do nothing deserving of it. So their content is spending money.

[Dave]

Yeah, Yeah, I think you're right. Hate to be jet business. Very hit the nail to the point.

[Ron]

Yeah, they really didn't mince words there.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ron]

What business are you in, dude?

[Francis]

I picked up a watermelon from the Whole Foods on 24th street today to bring to work. What do you. Do you knock them or something?

[Ron]

I don't know. There's stuff that people look for, like the amount of yellow, the shape. No, I think it's an art to picking the water. Lemon.

[Dave]

Speaking of which, we got some cucumbers in the kit. Or we got the joke again. I was gonna say we got some bananas in the. In the kitchen that look like cucumbers because of how green they are. But now. Forget about it. Forget about it.

[Francis]

It's so much worse in the explanation.

[Dave]

I know, I know.

[Ron]

It would have been.

[Dave]

It was going to be funny.

[Ron]

No.

[Dave]

Yeah, I don't think it was going to be that funny to be It's.

[Francis]

I don't. I can't tell. It was close because of how much you it up.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

I trust you cuz. You have good instincts. But the way it was explained, I can't picture that coming out.

[Dave]

Well, Some cucumbers in the.

[Ron]

Oh, abort, abort.

[Francis]

Your body cut you off.

[Ron]

Regroup, regroup.

[Francis]

It's like something deep within you was

[Ron]

like back to base.

[Francis]

No, no, don't see it through. Oh man. Well, I bought a watermelon and I was walking up, it was too heavy for the paper bag that they gave me because I bought some other shit and so I was like, I'll just carry it loose. So I'm walking up 7th Ave from 24th to our office with a watermelon under my right arm and I started imagining that I was a running back and I'm looking at all the people walking towards me and I'm like. I shifted it to the other arm whenever I would like cut around people and it felt. It got me very excited about football season.

[Dave]

Yeah, it sounds like you're ready.

[Francis]

And I'll tell you man, you feel like there's no way anyone could ever knock this out of my grip.

[Dave]

But when you have a watermelon.

[Francis]

Yeah, I just had it so locked in.

[Ron]

You had a high intensity tight.

[Francis]

But then you see that Derrick Henry fumbles a good amount.

[Dave]

Yeah. And he. The. The football's significantly smaller.

[Ron]

And he's way. He's so strong. He's so big and strong.

[Dave]

So big. So strong.

[Ron]

It actually breaks my heart to hear you say how excited you are for football because Sass just had like a 15 minute conversation about kicking you out of the fantasy football league.

[Dave]

No, you're already out. He's already been out. Yeah, he's been out.

[Francis]

What are we talking about? Yeah, me in.

[Dave]

He has no problem, especially pass.

[Ron]

But that was just sad.

[Dave]

I said we haven't one strike.

[Ron]

He doesn't care about ball.

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Ron]

Holding it high and tight right now.

[Francis]

I don't even know if my parents pool house is wi fi until we get up and running.

[Ron]

Just send a letter with your lineup every week.

[Dave]

Yeah,

[Ron]

I could set it for you.

[Dave]

How many leagues you think you're going to do this year?

[Ron]

I accidentally. I'm in four already.

[Dave]

Oh, not including ours.

[Ron]

No, no. Accidental four. I signed up for two that I, that I didn't even know when the draft was.

[Dave]

Is it they just random leagues?

[Ron]

I actually might have even done like one. Only one of the drafts. I was just signing up For. And then it just, like, happens.

[Dave]

That's early.

[Ron]

I got the itch.

[Dave]

I did that last year, and then I ended up bailing on that league.

[Ron]

Oh. Leagues that I did.

[Dave]

It's really.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

You count that as a win.

[Ron]

Taco Leagues. Of course.

[Dave]

You count a random league as a win.

[Ron]

No, no, no. No cash, no win.

[Dave]

Exactly.

[Ron]

No woman, no cry.

[Dave]

I. Yeah, I gotta. I gotta start watching some more ball. Getting my. Getting my knowledge back up. I saw aj. I mean, AJ Brown's looking real good. Real good. Damn good. I saw he caught a pass over Christian Gonzalez today. And then he was talking to him.

[Ron]

I saw Gonzalez is just letting him catch passes to get his ego up.

[Dave]

Yeah, I think so.

[Ron]

I think that's definitely what's going on.

[Dave]

You know, Gonzo's got it on lock, dude.

[Ron]

Last summer at this time, I had a. I had a beach house rented for two weeks. We were doing remote shows. They were terrible. You guys remember that?

[Francis]

I do remember. I forgot about that.

[Ron]

Those were our last bad shows.

[Dave]

Yeah, those were pretty bad.

[Ron]

And then somebody found the research of what we. Of all of our goals that we set, and they. They broke it down. But I think that they were wrong about the average views for per episode. They said that it averaged 50.8 thousand views, but there hasn't been an episode under 50. Like, it's definitely more than that.

[Dave]

What are they referring to? Just YouTube.

[Ron]

Probably just YouTube, but even YouTube. That's not true.

[Francis]

They might be going way back.

[Ron]

No, it was to when we set the goals in October. October 10th.

[Dave]

And they said in October 10th, we were already above 50,000 or below.

[Ron]

Since then. Since then, average of 50,000. That's not tr.

[Dave]

Are you sure they don't mean we have increased by 50,000 viewers? Because that would make sense.

[Ron]

I don't think so. I don't think that's what they meant.

[Dave]

Yeah, I mean, whoever came up with that is just wrong. That's not even close to Stell.

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[Dave]

I could be wrong.

[Ron]

Who knows? But it was just. But we had. We hit every other one of our other goals except for having third merch drop. We only did two out of the three merch drops that we set as goals.

[Dave]

I mean, we'll do one again for Black Friday.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Do you guys feel like setting more goals? I don't think this is the time for me.

[Ron]

I wasn't planning to set.

[Francis]

I don't think I should set any goals right now.

[Ron]

Know your goals should be like, more. They shouldn't be statistical. They should be like, clear head full of sperm. Like zero holes of golf played.

[Dave]

Yep.

[Ron]

Two jets purchased. Two. Two pool houses financed.

[Francis]

Yes.

[Ron]

And like one really good conversation with Saleem from the Nelk boys. Those are realistic from you.

[Francis]

You know how I know it's a bad sign? I think I've. I know for a fact that I've. I've made this observation before, but I've never felt it more strongly do right now. There are so many people. I don't know where this comes from. So many people who are trying to set me up with, like my sister's friend. My. This. Huh?

[Dave]

Is that. Is your sister doing that?

[Francis]

My sister had someone for me.

[Dave]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Francis]

But I didn't mean it when I said that, like, I have dudes DMing me and being like, hey, I have a. I had a dude DM me and being like, I can't believe I'm doing this, but I really think you and my younger sister would like, hit it off and like, if you want, here's her Instagram new.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

That's. That's not right. He's pimping out his sister. Ellis Clout.

[Francis]

It is. It's like the. It's heavier right now than it's ever been, which is so baffling because I have never in my life been in a place where I was is more likely to be a horrible match for somebody.

[Ron]

But that. That's not what they see, bro. They see like a fixer upper potential.

[Francis]

You are. You don't know what the you're doing trying to set me up with someone you care about.

[Ron]

They see roadkill Fawn and they're like, how sad.

[Francis]

Keep your loved Ones away from me. I am. I am not in the mood. Mood.

[Ron]

That's just going to attract them more. No, I'm telling you, this is going to attract them more.

[Francis]

I got nothing going on and I don't want to do anything.

[Dave]

You don't need any of that, Rhett. This is all distraction.

[Francis]

It's all noise.

[Dave]

This is all noise. Yeah. Block it. We're focusing on golfing sisters.

[Ron]

Big on sisters.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

This is all golf.

[Ron]

Yeah. We need to focus on golf.

[Dave]

So, honestly, like, you hand me over the keys to the Instagram account. Any DM we get about anything like that, I'm blocking the account.

[Ron]

I'm glad we're gonna do it. Like the teams at AAU basketball tournaments where we put a piece of blue tape on your door, and if, like, the blue tape is broken from you, like going out or having someone over at night, you're kicked out of the tournament.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Like, no, no, no. Blue tape on your home door, blue tape on your upstate door. Blue tape on your golf door.

[Dave]

You do Wonder, though, because McGregor said that. He did. He did. Retention. Semen retention? Is that what it's called?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Before his father fight, and we all saw how that went, so I don't think we've fully stopped coming, but let's. Let's pull it back.

[Ron]

A coming cessation? Yeah, yeah, just a cessation.

[Dave]

Once or twice a week, you just have to cessate.

[Francis]

That's tough, man. I'm kind of like an all come or no come kind of guy.

[Dave]

I mean, so then let's go bi weekly. One week you come interval training. Yeah. So like, one week, no coming, and then one week, like, coming like you couldn't even imagine in, like, you're, like. You don't even want to.

[Francis]

Hurts.

[Dave]

Yeah. Yeah. Hurts, yeah.

[Francis]

Tired.

[Ron]

Yeah. It's like when you're training for a marathon, it's like you want to do, you know, three. Three miles the first day, and then, like six miles and then 10 miles and then rest for two days and then do 12 miles and then 15 miles, and you're building up to this orgasmic 72 holes of co. Come.

[Francis]

Boy, I can't wait till it's over.

[Ron]

It's going to be great.

[Dave]

What, the coming or the.

[Francis]

The tournament so that I can go back to my coming?

[Ron]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

To come on your own time.

[Francis]

Come on. Yeah. My, my. You know, my loads. Are my loads.

[Dave]

Taking my loads back. Yeah, I'm taking my loads.

[Ron]

Have you seen how chicks in the office is going to, like, Palm Springs? All the time. Time.

[Dave]

Haven't they. I feel like they've been doing that since I started at this company.

[Ron]

They're always going somewhere. Incredible.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Dave]

They're always in tropical places.

[Ron]

They're in tropical places.

[Dave]

Yeah, but that's their thing. Like, they, like.

[Francis]

You need to stop talking about diarrhea and gaming, start talking about Love island and we'll go, too.

[Ron]

You think so? That. That's my question is, like, once this is all done, like, could you maybe go for a tropical place? Like, would that be nice? Once you like a little tropical and, like, you could kind of.

[Francis]

This seems like a real waste of money when my parents have a pool house.

[Dave]

But it's. We're talking Maine in the summer.

[Francis]

What's better?

[Dave]

That's true. But, like, that's so short.

[Ron]

Well, what about after the summertime? Is there some.

[Francis]

I don't know if I'm going to be around after that.

[Dave]

All right, all right. Let's talk realistic here, though. If you are to win the Invitational and you come away with $1 million.

[Francis]

1.66.

[Dave]

1.66 before taxes, obviously. But we don't have to get into it. What are you gonna do? Because that is it.

[Francis]

You can't quit everything.

[Dave]

You can't quit before the video comes out.

[Francis]

No, I wouldn't quit. Skate. Skate by. But no, no, I would give no indication, you guys. I didn't give in any.

[Dave]

No, no.

[Francis]

I don't know. Like, last year I said this, but, like, people were like, I think it's. Has anyone. I think Francis won the Invitational. Have you seen how much money he's been spending? Spending. It's like, where have you been?

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

I was doing that before. I didn't have the money.

[Dave]

Yeah, but, like, that's in an absurd amount of money to win. Like, that's like lottery money.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Like, what.

[Dave]

What would you do if you just were. If all of a sudden you just had that.

[Francis]

I just don't.

[Dave]

Like, would you just put it all into savings?

[Francis]

Last year, I took 20. I. I took. I took. I took home $222,000 after taxes. I put $200,000 into the stock market and took $22,000 to play with, which sent me to New Zealand.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And I bought a bunch of clothes. I didn't need more than 22 grand.

[Dave]

No.

[Francis]

To satisfy my stupidity for a few months.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

But we're talking a significantly larger amount of money now.

[Ron]

Right.

[Francis]

But I don't think it's, like, proportionate. I don't know that he Also came back from.

[Ron]

From New Zealand early. Like, he. It was. Like it was too much.

[Francis]

Maybe I'd buy a woman.

[Dave]

I thought you were gonna say I would buy a house. Buy a house in Maine.

[Ron]

Nah.

[Dave]

Why? Buy a little. Buy a little summer house in Maine. That'd be sick.

[Francis]

I don't need. I just go visit my. My parents. I'll stay in the pool house. You keep thinking the pool house is a bad place. You gotta see it.

[Ron]

Well, are you. So is. Are your sister and her kids gonna stay in the pool house?

[Francis]

No, they stay alive elsewhere. They had too many people.

[Ron]

Oh, really?

[Dave]

So, what, you could rebuild the pool house?

[Francis]

Well, I could add a wing.

[Dave]

Even though they just built it, I

[Francis]

could add a wing.

[Dave]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ron]

A floor.

[Dave]

Maybe some underground tunnels connecting the main house and the pool house.

[Francis]

Underground. So that I could do with a glass window into the pool.

[Dave]

Yeah. Oh, that would be sick.

[Francis]

So I could watch people swimming.

[Dave]

Yeah. And that's like a basketball court, and

[Francis]

it's like a mirrored glass so they can't see.

[Dave]

They don't know you're.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

You're.

[Dave]

They don't know I'm watching against the glass.

[Ron]

But no one comes over. So it's just your parents.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Watching your parents swim. Yeah.

[Dave]

Man, I really thought this was going to be more interesting. And my dad's doing laps again.

[Francis]

Form sucks.

[Dave]

Wish I bought, like, a curtain or something.

[Ron]

Is that you, Francis?

[Dave]

I think that would be great.

[Francis]

If I were to win all that money, I'm trying to think, what would I do with, like, 900,000? I mean, that's one of those things where, like, I guess I'd probably put 850 of it into the stock market. 850 and take 50 GS and, like, I don't know, maybe I'd buy a paddock at that point. I don't know.

[Dave]

I would go.

[Francis]

I probably go.

[Ron]

Are you talking about a Patek Philippe or a paddock of sheep? Which. What paddock are you talking about?

[Francis]

I would go both.

[Dave]

Eight you. So you'd come home with 850.

[Francis]

No. 900.

[Dave]

900 takes. Put 750 in.

[Ron]

Mac, is there any way to look up what, $850,000, if you put it into the stock market? Market today would be in 30 years. What?

[Francis]

You could turn doubles every seven years, they say.

[Dave]

Is this on good? Like, a good track? Like, is this smart to be putting that much money in the market right now?

[Ron]

What? We're due for a big reset. That's a good point. Yeah.

[Dave]

I think we hold.

[Francis]

I think We've got it for 30 years. It's never not smart, historically.

[Ron]

Yeah. Timing the market is, is never as good as time in the market, as they say.

[Francis]

There you go. Love that. So it doubles every seven years, so, yeah, it'd be. It'd be 51.7, 3.4. You're talk talking like 12 million bucks

[Ron]

in 30 years, so does that sound nice?

[Dave]

I want 12 million bucks right now.

[Ron]

But that's not what he's winning.

[Francis]

What does it say on there? Oh, it says 6.5. So it's 850 to 1.7 in seven years to 3.4.

[Dave]

But this is fake money. You never get to use this money.

[Francis]

I think more than that.

[Ron]

That for your kids.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

So.

[Francis]

Oh, no, no, sorry. It says 14.8. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So just over 12. I'm glad I wasn't too far off.

[Dave]

How much are you gonna give me and Roan if you win?

[Ron]

I would want a group experience. I'd want to go to Morocco with the boys or Bodrum.

[Dave]

You guys have fun. You guys will have a blast in Morocco, though. That's gonna be fun.

[Francis]

I've been to Morocco twice.

[Ron]

It's not up to you. It's up to Frank Chances. And I would lobby so hard, I'll put on such a better PowerPoint presentation for him to gift us the experience that, like, there's no way that he would give us the cash.

[Francis]

It's amazing how many places you and I would enjoy going to together, Roan. And I don't think one single one of them would be a place that I would enjoy.

[Dave]

Now that I'm off the weed. I, I, I gotta. I'm big into, like, outside again, you know, moving my body.

[Francis]

And you're living in a great place for it.

[Dave]

Yeah. So.

[Francis]

So.

[Dave]

Well, not really Capidosia, but Morocco.

[Francis]

That's where they have the hot air balloons.

[Ron]

Yeah. Go, go. To ride a hot air balloon over the mountains.

[Dave]

I would pay $36,000 to not ride on the hot air balloon.

[Ron]

Yeah, exactly. There's no place. If you had to spend $36,000 on a vacation and you couldn't put it in the market, where would you go?

[Francis]

What's the city with the highest density of best buys in the world?

[Ron]

Yeah, he would go to Hong Kong.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I would go to Pateka. Patagonia.

[Francis]

Yeah. We. That would be a sick trip.

[Dave]

Yeah, that'd be awesome.

[Francis]

There's a really elite hotel down there too.

[Dave]

Oh, really? Yeah, I would love to go.

[Francis]

We could all go to Patagonia. Because then we could satisfy all of our urges, our desires.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Sick dining. Like, cool views and beautiful visuals, you know, awesome for me and Roan. And then for you, Wi Fi.

[Dave]

No, they're fishing. There is so good.

[Francis]

Comfortable bed.

[Ron]

All right, so if you win. If you win, can we go to Patagonia?

[Francis]

If I win, I'll finance a trip for the three of us to go to. All go to Patagonia.

[Dave]

Dead set on Patagonia. I know I am.

[Francis]

I want to go to Patagonia. That my two places that I wanted to go were Japan and Patagonia, and I'm going in September to Japan.

[Ron]

All right, so that gives our viewers an incentive to root for Francis even harder.

[Francis]

I will pay for the three. Actually, you know what? Yeah, I'll pay for. I'll pay for us all.

[Ron]

He thought about Sean McIntyre, to be honest with you.

[Francis]

I wondered if they would want to do that.

[Dave]

I bet we could get.

[Francis]

Would you guys want to come? All right. We'll bring the whole team. All six of us will go to Patagonia, all expenses paid on my dime if I win the Internet Invitational. That is a promise.

[Dave]

I feel like you could finesse away or not finesse.

[Francis]

The second I win, I'm going to be looking for ways to.

[Dave]

I feel like Barstool would probably pay for their travel if you paid for all of ours.

[Ron]

Or. Or Barstool pay for all of our travel travel to Patagonia.

[Francis]

That was kind of what my thought was when I started thinking about them. I was like, well, if we turn it into content, we can.

[Dave]

But the thing is, do we want to turn it.

[Francis]

Look, I've already made the promise. I'm happy to live with that promise. And that's a good point. You're going to want it to be content. We could also do, like, little bits of content. We could record down there. I wouldn't mind recording down there, but, like, making it, like a fish week, where we're, like, going from one shoe to the next, I think would make it harder for us to enjoy it as much.

[Dave]

Yeah. Maybe just like, social posts.

[Francis]

No.

[Ron]

Would it be the Patagonia we've come to love?

[Dave]

No.

[Ron]

If you're down there grinding.

[Dave]

Yeah, exactly. I'm not trying to grind in there.

[Ron]

Man.

[Francis]

This is amazing. I now have something to do today. I'm going to be researching our Patagonia yurts in Patagonia.

[Ron]

Or what are the little. What do they have there? Do they have yurts? Units.

[Dave]

Yeah, I think it's just units.

[Ron]

They just have.

[Francis]

I Think it's lodges. Like. Yeah, we're going to go to a lodge.

[Dave]

Yeah, that would be sick.

[Francis]

Lodge. Great hiking. Oh, you know what they do down there? I'm pretty sure that you can do, which is cool. I don't know if we'd want to do this. Dove hunting, of course.

[Dave]

In Patagonia, I'm killing anything.

[Francis]

Listen, guess how many doves you shoot a day.

[Dave]

Thousands.

[Francis]

Literally thousands.

[Dave]

I remember you telling me about your buddies that did that down there.

[Francis]

Yeah. I don't know how much we enjoy murdering flocks. I mean, of doves.

[Ron]

How long do they spend shooting them?

[Francis]

It's not as long as three hours straight. Yeah.

[Dave]

Just sweating.

[Ron]

It's like hunting buffalo on the Oregon trail.

[Dave]

Like, I don't know if I want to kill anymore. There's still 10,000 left.

[Francis]

They're too. There are too many doves.

[Ron]

You have a suitcase of ammo still, son.

[Francis]

They just keep coming. Rest the barrel.

[Dave]

The barrels glowing red.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Piles of doves up to your shins

[Ron]

just leaning on sandbags as you chop a 50k. Doves. That must have been what Normandy felt like.

[Dave]

Definitely.

[Francis]

Oh, man.

[Ron]

Yeah. We got to get to Gonia.

[Francis]

Patagonia.

[Ron]

Do they. So is it frowned upon? Is it wearing. Is it, like, wearing it I love New York shirt in walking around Times Square. If you wear a Patagonia vest in Patagonia, I would assume so. You think so?

[Dave]

I would assume. Do they have a patio? Could we look that up? If they have a Patagonia location.

[Ron]

Is there a store in Patagonia?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Or is it just like.

[Dave]

Or just in Argentina? You could just do Argentina.

[Ron]

You know, can you buy Saratoga water in Saratoga kind of thing saying yes. Okay. They have. They have a location. Enhance.

[Dave]

They got a mini museum, too.

[Ron]

They got a pat. They have a museum. That's the store in Patagonia. Good.

[Dave]

Kitchy.

[Ron]

I think it's kitchen and charming.

[Francis]

Yeah. Wow.

[Dave]

That looks sick. Actually.

[Francis]

That does look pretty sick.

[Ron]

We got to get back. If. And if we go. If we win, we go to Patagonia. If we lose, we go upstate.

[Dave]

Patagonia might be like a white whale sponsorship for this show. That would be incredible.

[Ron]

The company.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Okay. Yeah, that would be. That would be cool. But I think just anywhere. Anyone that will get us out there. I prioritize the locale, but Patagonia brought

[Dave]

to you by Patagonia. Oh, now we're talking.

[Ron]

Wow.

[Francis]

That's good, man.

[Ron]

Patagonia ception.

[Dave]

I think that's got some real potential.

[Ron]

That's got wings. That's got legs that could move mountains.

[Dave]

That could move mountain.

[Ron]

Yes. All right. I have to go home.

[Dave]

All good.

[Francis]

I can give you a ride. I drove in.

[Ron]

Really? Yeah. Queens.

[Dave]

You mind swinging me up to Queens?

[Francis]

I should not. I shall not.

[Dave]

All right. Well, fun episode. We will be back on Thursday.

[Ron]

Thank you to our friendship Chase for a great sponsorship. That was awesome.

[Francis]

Yes.

[Ron]

Chase rules. We had a great.

[Francis]

I actually really love, love the Sapphire Preferred card.

[Ron]

That was a great run.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

And we'd love for them to be back anytime.

[Francis]

Check out some opening bonuses and things like that. Because I think it's like a hundred thousand points right now. And those points are valuable, too.

[Ron]

And that's free game.

[Dave]

Oh, check out behind the Bush. Came out. If you're watching this came out last night. But it's like, I think. Mac. How long is it?

[Ron]

Two hours?

[Dave]

Hour 45.

[Francis]

Oh, that's the big one you were talking about.

[Dave]

Mac and Quigs did the whole thing. So check that out to be really, really good.

[Ron]

Wow.

[Francis]

All right. Dope. That's it.