30/06/2026

Summary

Sort Your Life Out Unpacked

Host: Dilly Carter
Guest: Lauren Laverne
Episode Date: June 30, 2026
BBC Sounds / Optomen Production

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Sort Your Life Out Unpacked centers around a revealing and heartfelt conversation between host Dilly Carter—organizational expert—and Lauren Laverne, celebrated broadcaster and host of Desert Island Discs. Through the symbolic "unboxing" of three mystery items from Lauren’s home, the episode delves into the stories, values, and life lessons attached to possessions, grief, family, music, and personal transformation. Listeners gain an intimate glimpse into Lauren’s life, her relationship with objects, and practical guidance on decluttering, all infused with Dilly and Lauren’s wit, warmth, and openness.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Home Life, Family, and Sentimentality

Timestamps: 01:07–04:50

• Lauren reflects on her bustling household of teenagers, pets, and visiting friends:

  "It's full of gigantic teenagers now…when you have kids who are that age…your family expands because you have girlfriends, you have friends, you have all these wonderful young people in your life and I love that." (03:04)

• Describes her home:

  "Comfortable, colourful, happy. And I think, quite soulful as well. Like a lot of the things in my house. Most things in my house have a story behind them or have like a memory attach." (03:50)

• While sentimental, Lauren describes herself as a natural declutterer, keeping only those things imbued with real meaning (04:06).

2. Item #1: Binoculars – Legacy and Grief

Timestamps: 05:33–10:21

• Object: Three pairs of antique binoculars belonging to Lauren’s late father, a passionate collector.
• Lauren recounts sorting through her father's belongings after his passing in 2018:

  "My brother always used to call our house the Culture Tardis…It was just stuffed…books, antiques, instruments…" (06:26)
  "When you're grieving…and then you've got to sit and look at everything and…evaluate on top of grief, that's very difficult…" (07:56)

• She shares how her father’s generosity and lack of attachment to his things made the process more manageable:

  "If you'd said, 'oh, that's nice,' he would say, 'have it.'" (07:40)

• Grieving and letting go: Lauren takes a measured, forgiving approach, allowing herself time to part with items only when ready.

  "Just after my mom and dad died, I just couldn't bear to part with them…it just felt too raw. And then actually…a year on…I'm okay to let that go now." (08:31)

• She honors her parents by incorporating some of their keepsakes into daily life—her mother’s jewelry, her father’s binoculars—and by sharing items with children and friends (09:44).

3. Parenting and Heritage

• Lauren draws connections between her parents’ values and her own parenting style:

  "My parents were fantastic…My mum, she was more of a minimalist, like me." (09:15)

• Treasures such as jewelry are worn, repaired, and cherished as living mementos (09:44).

4. Item #2: Record (Tom Rowlands / Chemical Brothers) – Music, Collection, and ADHD

Timestamps: 10:30–15:15

• Object: Limited edition 12" vinyl by Tom Rowlands (Chemical Brothers) – "123 out of 500"
• Music as a central theme in Lauren’s home: LOTS of records (once 8,000!) merge not just Lauren & her husband’s tastes, but their lives.

  "We had 8,000 a few years ago, and then when my dad died and inherited a lot of stuff…my husband was the record collector, obviously." (11:14)

• Organizational Challenge: Downsizing from 8,000 to about 1,000 records; the process involved decluttering not only for space but to avoid burdening future generations:

  "He slimmed down 7,000 records…So we still have over a thousand. Still a lot, which is quite a lot. But that fits in a room…" (12:31)

• ADHD and collecting: Lauren discusses her husband’s diagnosis, its connection to his collecting habits, and how their organizational strengths complement each other:

  "That whole kind of quest thing…he realized was a bit of an ADHD thing." (11:49)
  "I've grown even more organized over the 20 years we've been together because someone has helped him. So I think…we'd kind of grown as a couple." (15:15)

• Music Across Generations: Their eldest son now also collects vinyl—sometimes regretting those that were purged (14:10).

5. Letting Go, Sharing, and Community

• Resonant advice from Dilly: Donating instruments or collectibles to schools/museums as a way to honor their value and legacy (14:33).

6. Item #3: Red Velvet Suit – Identity, Illness, and Renewal

Timestamps: 19:06–24:02

• Object: Red velvet suit/tux that no longer fits in quite the same way post-cancer.
• Lauren opens up about her cancer journey and its profound impact on identity and self-presentation:

  "When I went into treatment, I then obviously lost weight…when I came back from that, I remember having to go to work and it felt kind of surreal…couldn't fill the clothes. I felt a bit lost, I suppose…" (20:26)

• Emotional resonance of clothing:

  "Our clothes represent so much about who we are…it's how we show the world before we tell people who we are." (22:10)

• The recovery journey is ongoing:

  "There's no such sort of place as better…it's a process that you go through, and it could be very, very long." (22:53)

• Eventually, Lauren has her treasured suits altered, symbolically reclaiming them and her sense of self:

  "I wore that the other week to interview Paul McCartney…to be able to do that in something that had been emblematic of me feeling ill at ease with myself…and that…fits me perfectly now…really, really good feeling." (23:13)

7. Decluttering Wisdom & Habits

Timestamps: 24:14–27:05

• Dilly’s top tip: Rotate your wardrobe by season, and let go of anything that no longer brings joy.
• Lauren is learning "one in, one out" and is active on resale and donation:

  "The kids have got me into the resale websites…" (25:35)

• Dilly’s practical tip for online reselling:

  "I normally give it no more than three months. That's it. If it's not gone in three months, then it goes [to charity]." (26:33) "I store all my vintage under my spare bed in identical bags, but each bag is labeled…" (26:49)

8. Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On family chaos:

  "I love seeing, you know, 12 pairs of crocs by the front door, you know, and like 12 North Face jackets." (03:23)

• On decluttering after a loss:

  "It was like spending the day with him…what he was interested in, where he'd underlined things and made notes…" (07:56)

• On music as legacy:

  "The irony…our eldest son then got into collecting vinyl [after the great purge]." (14:10)

• On post-cancer self-perception:

  "I look at it and I just think, God, that was not well you…It's a process, isn't it?" (22:18)

• On growing through adversity:

  "I'm much more relaxed as a person…I'm not scared of…things going wrong, because they've gone wrong and I've dealt with it." (23:13)

9. Quickfire Decisions & Happy Places

Timestamps: 27:21–28:18

• Final "Sort":
  • Donate the suit, Sell the record, Keep the binoculars.
• Lauren’s “happy place”:

  "It's on the sofa with the entire family…everyone's there, cats and the dogs and everyone's laughing…that's a nice time." (27:35)

---

Organizational Tips & Life Lessons

• Allow time to let go: Grief can distort your attachment to things; don’t rush letting go.
• Balance: Combine personalities—Lauren’s order and her husband’s spontaneity—create a complementary system.
• Update possessions: Repair and repurpose items to keep them “living.”
• Declutter regularly: Rotate wardrobes seasonally; be honest about what still serves you.
• Donating and sharing memories is a way to honor the past while relieving the present.
• Set boundaries on reselling: Three months max before donating unsold items.
• Label and store: Group, bag, and label things for efficient retrieval and less overwhelm.

---

Notable & Memorable Timestamps

• Lauren’s Parenting & Home Life: 03:04, 03:50
• Binoculars & Grieving: 06:26, 07:56, 08:31
• Music & Family Collections: 11:14, 12:31, 14:10
• ADHD & Organization: 11:49, 15:15
• Recovery & Clothing Identity: 20:26, 22:10, 23:13
• Decluttering and Resale Practices: 24:14, 26:33
• Happy Place & End: 27:35

---

Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is intimate, empathetic, and candid—full of humor, affection, and practical advice. Both Dilly and Lauren speak with authenticity and mutual admiration, blending poignant stories with actionable tips.

---

Final Takeaway

This episode is about much more than decluttering: it’s a moving meditation on family, loss, resilience, and finding joy in both memories and practical organization. Lauren Laverne’s openness—about her upbringing, her illness, and her ongoing effort to “sort her life out”—offers solace, inspiration, and actionable wisdom to anyone navigating life’s messy, meaningful accumulations.

Transcript

[Lauren Laverne]

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the uk.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

The ultimate cookout starts with the ultimate ingredients at Whole Foods Market. No antibiotics ever. Burgers and kebabs are prepped and ready to throw on the grill. Fire up a juicy ribeye, grab creamy potato salad and savory flatbreads from the prepared foods department and round it all out with 365 brand condiments, chips and dips at everyday low prices. Whole Foods Market make your summer sizzle.

[Corona Extra Advertiser]

Most of the time, La Playa sounds like this. For some, La Playa also sounds like this. But no matter what, this is our Playa Corona. La Playa awaits. Relax responsibly. Corona Extra Beer imported by Crown Import, Chicago, Illinois.

[Dilly Carter]

I'm Dilly Carter, the organized one, and this is Sort yout Life Out Unpacked. Get ready to unpack three boxes with my celebrity guest. Every box has an item from their own home, plus a load of stories and memories. And stand by for my tips on how to sort your own life out too. My guest this episode hosts one of the most most well loved programs on radio and music has been the backbone of her career. Since performing with her band on Top of the Pops in 1997, she's continued that love of music, hosting Glastonbury coverage shows on BBC 6 Music and lots more. She grew up in Sunderland but has called Muswell Hill her home for over 20 years. Alongside her husband, two kids, a dog and two cats. It is the One show host and Desert island disc presenter, the fabulous Lauren Laverne. Welcome Lauren.

[Lauren Laverne]

Thank you for having me.

[Dilly Carter]

I feel like giddy that you're sat opposite me and I mean you are looking absolutely stunning in the most beautiful, colorful dress.

[Lauren Laverne]

I dress to match the studio.

[Dilly Carter]

You look so gorgeous and I'm. And can I just say you're wearing leopard print trainers.

[Lauren Laverne]

Got the kicks on for you. Obviously. I know who'll appreciate those.

[Dilly Carter]

I absolutely appreciate it all. And like I said, I feel very starstruck because you are a broadcasting legend, an icon and the fact that I'm sitting opposite you and interviewing you feels like a very big pinch of Stop it.

[Lauren Laverne]

Because I'm your number one fan is all I can say. Like this is like a mutual appreciation society. I love what you do and I love the idea of this podcast. It's a bit like Desert Island Discs, isn't it? It is a little bit, I think in people's attitude and their, you know, you talk about the music that they love on Desert Island Discs and then it's a way into their Life story. You know, what could be better than the things that they choose to keep around them or the things that they decide to let go of?

[Dilly Carter]

I am so appreciative of you being here. So let's talk. I mean, your eldest son, Fergus, is now 18, isn't he?

[Lauren Laverne]

He's 18, yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. So how are you feel about your house being a little bit less busier, or is it no different?

[Lauren Laverne]

I mean, it's full of gigantic teenagers now, so it does. It feels like it's busier than ever sometimes, you know, when you have kids who are that age where you sort of think, you know, they're about to fly the nest or whatever, and you get nervous about it, but then in another way, your family expands because you have girlfriends, you have friends, you have all these wonderful young people in your life and I love that.

[Dilly Carter]

I love seeing, you know, 12 pairs of crocs by the front door, you know, and like 12 North Face jackets.

[Lauren Laverne]

When they get a bit older, you'll be trying to work out who's come back from the club in the morning. You'll come and you look and you're like, well, I think those are his shoes. And, yeah, there's just these giant sort of Dr. Martins and things. You're like, okay, let's puzzle this out.

[Dilly Carter]

I mean, I'm very excited to see what you brought in because I have no idea. But first I'm just going to ask you a few quick fire home truths.

[Lauren Laverne]

Okay.

[Dilly Carter]

How would you describe your home in a sentence?

[Lauren Laverne]

Comfortable, colourful, happy. And I think, quite soulful as well. Like a lot of the things in my house. Most things in my house have a story behind them or have like a memory attach.

[Dilly Carter]

Does that mean you're really sentimental?

[Lauren Laverne]

I am sentimental as a person. I'm not massively a things person. I do. I'm more of a declutterer by nature. I'm happy to let things go, but the things I do hang on to tend to mean something to me.

[Dilly Carter]

Complete the sentence. My bedside table is fairly neat.

[Lauren Laverne]

We built in behind our bed, like secret storage. So it's got, like three long shelves here beside me.

[Dilly Carter]

Okay. Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

So I can have, like, books here, and then in this middle one, I can have any electronics or whatever. And then on the top one, I've got magazines.

[Dilly Carter]

All the Essentials.

[Lauren Laverne]

All the Essentials, but kind of tidied away.

[Dilly Carter]

That sounds like a bit of a rob build.

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah, but robs would, like, pull out and then become something else. Do you know what I mean?

[Dilly Carter]

Become another bed to Find the bed.

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah, we're not that adventurous.

[Dilly Carter]

What is the one thing in your house that you would love to get rid of?

[Lauren Laverne]

I recently had a bit of a. I wouldn't say argument, but perhaps a disagreement with my husband about the size of a pair of speakers that he brought home for our front room. So these are vintage speakers. They're dominating the whole front room. But he loves them and my eldest son loves them so much. I didn't have the heart.

[Dilly Carter]

I was like, fine, so where are they currently, then?

[Lauren Laverne]

They are currently there, just sitting in your front room. I'm working out how to kind of, you know, adapt the room around them a little bit. So, yes, I've allowed that, but if I could temporarily shrink them, that would be nice.

[Dilly Carter]

Okay, shall we have a look at your first box?

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dilly Carter]

Let's have a look. So this is a small box.

[Lauren Laverne]

Oh, but it's.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, it's heavy.

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Okay. So in this box. Wow. Okay. Do you know what? I don't think I've ever seen an original pair of beautiful binoculars like this. So in this box are three different types of binocular. The first pair that I've got are really. I mean, they're really heavy, aren't they?

[Lauren Laverne]

I think they're like an army pair with that leather detail and stuff. They look a bit army to me. It should have leather around the bottom, but some of it's come off. But they still work quite well.

[Dilly Carter]

You do look still well. And the other two look very posh.

[Lauren Laverne]

They're probably Victorian.

[Dilly Carter]

These are much smaller. And then these ones, these look like

[Lauren Laverne]

ladies ones because they're so gentlemen and ladies, I think.

[Dilly Carter]

So three different types of binocular. All very beautiful and obviously all antique, all older. So tell me about the binoculars and whose they were.

[Lauren Laverne]

They were my dad's. So these represent my dad, who was, you might say, more of a collector than a hoarder, I would say. But he was the person who had stuff. When I was growing up, my brother always used to call our house the Culture Tardis because it looked like a normal house from the outside, but when you went in, it was just stuffed. I mean, literally floor to ceiling. Books, antiques, instruments, musical instruments everywhere. So when he died in 2018.

[Dilly Carter]

I'm so sorry.

[Lauren Laverne]

There was so much of his stuff, but it was like these things. It was really beautiful. There was also. Which I decided not to bring in case it was a bit controversial. He gave me a ladies gun from the 1700. You can't fire it or anything. Would be the kind of thing that, like Nicola Coughlan would pull out of her handbag on Bridgerton if she got robbed by high women.

[Dilly Carter]

Literally.

[Lauren Laverne]

Teeny little thing. Yeah. He would just collect these things anywhere he went.

[Dilly Carter]

What have you actually decided to do with most of the things? Did you manage to reduce any of it or did you just keep a selection?

[Lauren Laverne]

Well, the good thing was that my dad was very. Even though he was a collector, he was really generous. So when my husband first came to visit my mum and dad, I remember him counting like 27 stringed instruments just in the living room.

[Dilly Carter]

Wow.

[Lauren Laverne]

Right. But if you'd said, oh, that's nice, he would say, have it. You know, he would. So I knew he wasn't like personally attached to everything.

[Dilly Carter]

It's easier to die.

[Lauren Laverne]

I think for me that that made it a lot easier. The difficult thing I found is the emotional energy it takes of making the decision.

[Dilly Carter]

Yes.

[Lauren Laverne]

When you're grieving and somebody's died and then you've got to sit and look at everything and like evaluate on top of grief, that's very difficult, whatever you're collecting. Yeah. Somebody might have to deal with it later. But, I mean, you know, my dad, it was. It was actually really lovely going through his things because I had so much of his personality, was so kind of eccentric and interesting in a way. Actually, it was like spending the day with him because I could see what he was interested in and where he'd underlined things and made notes or put a post it note in.

[Dilly Carter]

And it can be quite cathartic.

[Lauren Laverne]

But you've got to pace yourself.

[Dilly Carter]

I think that's when you can often make the wrong decisions as well, when you're rushed.

[Lauren Laverne]

And also sometimes I found you're ready later. So, like, just after my mom and dad died, I just couldn't bear to part with them. It just felt too raw. And then actually, you know, you go back another year on and you're like, oh, no, actually it's. I'm okay to let that go now. I don't need that there to keep them with me.

[Dilly Carter]

No.

[Lauren Laverne]

But at the beginning you're just kind of hanging on to everything.

[Dilly Carter]

Of course you want everything close to you.

[Lauren Laverne]

A lot I passed on, obviously, all the kids in the family, my friends, children and stuff. Kids love binoculars. And then I've kept a few pairs like these and a couple of others and actually just place them around the house. Different places, you know, different sort of set of shelves. They are lovely, soulful things.

[Dilly Carter]

Do you think your parenting style is similar to how your parents were Growing up, Definitely.

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah. I mean, I hope so. My parents were fantastic, you know, my dad and my mum, she was more of a minimalist, like me.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

I've got her jewelry on. Little jade bracelet and a Victorian bracelet and a ring that was special to her. And it was hard when I got my mom's jewelry box and I had to put all her things into my jewelry box.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

But actually, over the years, you know, I've gone through and I'm like, okay, well, is anything broken? And then I'll take it to the. My local jewelers and had it fixed.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

And there's something really soulful about that, about like, okay, well, well, now I can wear this and it can live. And I keep them, keep her close to me, but you've gotta be able to let go. And she was always really good at that. She was always like, get rid of it.

[Dilly Carter]

And actually when, you know, when you've had those conversations with your parents and you know what they're like, and you're very in tune with them, letting go of things is much easier, isn't it?

[Lauren Laverne]

When you've got unfinished business with someone. Like you say, choosing what you're gonna keep is just much more complicated. I never had that. You know, I just loved them and I miss them. And that's the extent of it, really. You know, there's no kind of like, would they ever be proud of. Were proud of me, you know, I

[Dilly Carter]

know that you knew all those things.

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

So I was lucky.

[Dilly Carter]

Shall we go to your second number two? Let's have a look. They're increasing in size.

[Lauren Laverne]

Jilly, I can only apologize, but this is like this one.

[Dilly Carter]

I'm excited.

[Lauren Laverne]

It'll probably fly off on its own.

[Dilly Carter]

Let's have a look. Oh, well, in this box is a record, a white record sleeve, a vinyl, and it says tomorrow. Is that right?

[Lauren Laverne]

It's Tom Rollins from the Chemical Brothers.

[Dilly Carter]

Does that mean anything? One hundred and twenty three out of five hundred.

[Lauren Laverne]

So this, this is limited edition. So 123 out of 500. This one's not going anywhere. It's very special. It's Tom from The Chemical Brothers. 12 inch Tom from the Chemical Brothers. So this represents some 8,000 records that we had in our house.

[Dilly Carter]

8,000 records. Wow. I am so excited by that.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Because I'd love to know how they are organized.

[Lauren Laverne]

We've slimmed down now quite a lot. We had 8,000 a few years ago, and then when my dad died and inherited a lot of stuff.

[Dilly Carter]

So did he have more records? Or did he have just other records?

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah, he had some of his records, yeah. Not as much of a collector as my husband. My husband was the record collector, obviously. I've got a lot over the years. My job as a DJ on 6 Music brings a lot into the house. But then we got married and, you know, our record collections merged, which is maybe even more serious than getting married. My husband was the record collector, though, in our relationship, and he has adhd.

[Dilly Carter]

Okay.

[Lauren Laverne]

We didn't know this for a really, really long time and realized that actually this kind of impulse to always be buying records, always be looking for the next thing, just in case this sort of. Oh, I might need that. Just in case. I'm doing a Sundown set in Ibiza, you know, when, and I need this particular tune. That whole kind of quest thing, he realized, was a bit of an ADHD thing. And then started thinking, after we had to sort all my dad's stuff out, he was like, do I want to leave a massive collection of Belgian New Beat for the kids to go through one day to looking through the going, how, which of these 7 inches is important? You know, like, how on earth are they going to figure that out? So he slimmed down 7,000 records.

[Dilly Carter]

7,000.

[Lauren Laverne]

It was a good warehouse day.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, my God.

[Lauren Laverne]

Until he let go of 7,000, some of which he regrets.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, my gosh. How did he do that?

[Lauren Laverne]

He did it over a period of months.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

Just giving to friends and stuff like that. So we still have over a thousand. Still a lot, which is quite a lot. But that fits in a room because there was a stage where, you know, all of our records were in our attic. And we were genuinely a bit worried about, like subsiding. A bit worried about what if the ceiling falls? It's so heavy. Yeah. So we've now moved them to the ground floor and it's better organised.

[Dilly Carter]

And is it like a music zone?

[Lauren Laverne]

Yes. So we've got our like little home office and that's got like floor to ceiling shelves. And then in the middle you've got the turntable and everything. Really great speakers.

[Dilly Carter]

Lovely.

[Lauren Laverne]

Just blast a record. And obviously you can work in there as well.

[Dilly Carter]

How are your vinyls organized? Are they like by genre, by year, by artist?

[Lauren Laverne]

Genre?

[Dilly Carter]

What's the biggest genre?

[Lauren Laverne]

Oh, God. I mean, it's gotta be rock, I think. Like old school rock.

[Dilly Carter]

Do you like different music?

[Lauren Laverne]

We do. There's certain things about.

[Dilly Carter]

Cause he's a dj. Is he?

[Lauren Laverne]

He's a dj. So he has got a kind of dance music background and I'm from more of, like, an indie background, but we like a lot of the same things. There are points where we diverge, like, so we have, like, an ongoing argument over, like, you know, he's 80s hip hop, for him, and I'm like, no, the 90s was the golden E. Yeah. So, you know, there's certain things we disagree on, for sure. Can your children play music they make? My eldest is making music. Yeah. On garage band and learning to DJ and all of that stuff. The irony, Dilly, is that our eldest son then got into collecting vinyl.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, gosh. And he'd got rid of all of

[Lauren Laverne]

the stuff the year after he'd done the big purge. Our Fergus was like, oh, dad, have you got that Ronnie size? Have you got any metal heads?

[Dilly Carter]

And he was like, oh, God, don't ask me this.

[Lauren Laverne]

So he's been so gone. He's taken a lot of my records, actually, which is great. They're all up in his room.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. I bet it's a great party at your house. It must be so nice.

[Lauren Laverne]

The soundtrack is pretty strong.

[Dilly Carter]

I can imagine. Oh, my gosh, it would have been so good. I was gonna say with your binoculars and things like guitars or anything that, you know, that you can't hold onto. It's a really nice idea, especially with musical instruments. Especially with, you know, historical items, vintage items, is to always ring your local schools, museums, anywhere like that, because sometimes, you know, they will really love these items.

[Lauren Laverne]

We don't have a piano to local school. Two hours kids school, which was fantastic.

[Dilly Carter]

So nice to be able to do that.

[Lauren Laverne]

So. So, yeah. So I think this represents something that a lot of people will relate to. I mean, there'll be a lot of people who have too much vinyl in the house, for sure. But also, it's that thing about adhd, you know, I watch sort your life out every single week.

[Dilly Carter]

Thank you.

[Lauren Laverne]

And. And I'm often thinking, you know, there's often ADHD at play. You know, something you've come across a lot. It's a big thing, isn't it? Funny thing is, I think because we'd been together for such a long time, and obviously I didn't know about his ADHD either. But then I. I'm a very organized person, but I've grown even more organized over the 20 years that we've been together because someone has helped him. So I think in a funny way, we'd kind of grown as a couple. There's things he can do that I could never do. I have not had to think about Where I'm going on holiday, where we're gonna stay, like, he will get in the zone and go. And then he'll go deep for two weeks. And then by the end of it, the trip will be booked. We'll have the hotel that's like, had the best reviews. We'll know where we're going for dinner on the Wednesday night. Because he can go deep, focus and those things. But yeah, if he had to organize the cupboards and how the pasta's laid out and everything, that would be chaos. So we're sort of good at different things and I think we complement each other, but I'm the person who you open a drawer and it's all like, lay down and say, oh, yeah, she did that.

[Dilly Carter]

Lovely. Where did you first meet Graham?

[Lauren Laverne]

We worked on a music show together. And then on the last day of

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

the ultimate cookout starts with the ultimate ingredients at Whole Foods Market. No antibiotics ever. Burgers and kebabs are prepped and ready to throw on the grill. Fire up a juicy ribeye, grab creamy potato salad and savory flatbreads from the prepared foods department. And round it all out with 365 brand condiments, chips and dips. At everyday low prices, Whole Foods Market make your summer sizzle.

[Corona Extra Advertiser]

La Playa can sound like. For others, it's. But this is our Playa Corona. La Playa awaits. Relax responsibly. Corona Extra beer, imported by Crown Import, Chicago, Illinois.

[Lauren Laverne]

Filming. He asked me out to a gig. Well, I remember it as he asked me out. He remembers it as he asked everyone. And Nobtal's turned up.

[Dilly Carter]

That's nice.

[Lauren Laverne]

And then, yeah, we went to this gig and the two of us turned up and then realized afterwards that it was Valentine's Day, which neither of us knew. Cause we were both single at the time.

[Dilly Carter]

So your first date was on Valentine's Day? Really? Yes.

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

And actually you celebrated your 20th wedding anniversary last year. Didn't we? We did, yeah. And you got married in the same church as your mum and dad did?

[Lauren Laverne]

Same church, same weekend?

[Dilly Carter]

Same church, same weekend. Same weekend.

[Lauren Laverne]

How many years later? Maybe 28 years later. Or maybe I'm thinking of that because of the Danny Boyle film. But when they got married with mum and dad, the only people that were there was a guy, a homeless guy who was asleep in the back of the church, and one sibling each. This is at my mom and dad's wedding. So when we got married in the same church, we thought we'd better invite everyone because they never got to come first time around, so then the whole family was there, so it was a good party.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, my gosh, how amazing. What a lovely thing. That must have felt quite emotional.

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah, no, it did, it did. I mean, my mum and dad, you know, they were really special people and Graham was very close to them as well. I think we both feel like we learned a lot from them. He was saying the other day, you know, he still misses them as much as I do, really.

[Dilly Carter]

I think how lovely that you've got that relationship. Yeah. You had. What was the favorite record that he left for you?

[Lauren Laverne]

For me dad would be the Beatles, definitely. Yeah. It probably sergeant Pepper, his copy of sergeant Pepper. I mean, my dad's records were not well cared for. They were like a vinyl collector's nightmare, you know, he was the eldest of six siblings, so they'd all like being dipped in the bath and covered in jam. And I mean, like, there's records and music that over the years he'd made compilation tapes that we used to play in the car from vinyl. And if. If it's not got the scratch in the song, I still feel like it's a bit wrong. You know what I mean? At the end of that particular Gypsy Kings track, it should go voop. Otherwise it doesn't feel.

[Dilly Carter]

It going.

[Lauren Laverne]

That feels weird.

[Dilly Carter]

Right, should we have a look at your last item? Box?

[Lauren Laverne]

This is a big box, another heavy one. Ah, there you go.

[Dilly Carter]

Okey dokey. Right, the final box, which is a large one. Oh, I feel like I've seen you in this. Yes. This is a beautiful red velvet suit. It's like a dinner seat. A tux, isn't it? A bit of a tux. It is a bit of a tux. Oh, this is gorgeous.

[Lauren Laverne]

The reason I've brought this is a bit of a story behind it. So, yes, this is mine. And the thing I have too much of, for me, because I'm not. Is clothes. I'm not innocent in all this. I'm complaining about everybody else so far, but I am an emotional chopper, fully admit that. And also, like you, I had cancer in recent years and this suit I got before that happened and I was a bit bigger then, not by much, but. But when I went into treatment, I then obviously lost weight, came out the other side, got better, but was like, oh, my God, you know, nothing in my wardrobe fits me. And also now, who am I? I'm a bit confused, you know, I think it's one of those big life experiences, isn't it, where you come out of the other side and you Just sort of feel like everything has changed.

[Dilly Carter]

Everything does change. Yeah. It never leaves you.

[Lauren Laverne]

No.

[Dilly Carter]

All of the things that you go through, the trauma of it, the treatment, the way that you feel, the way that you deal with it, the way that it affects your family, the way that it affects your body, it's just, isn't it, lurking in the back of your mind?

[Lauren Laverne]

And we have our appointments, we have our checks that we've got to check ups, all of that. And that kind of brings it up. Before I got diagnosed, obviously, I'd lost both my parents. Been through a lot with that. And I was just at the point where literally a month before my diagnosis, we were on holiday in Italy and there was three of us sitting there, me, Graham and our eldest son, having like a. He was having a beer with his dad and we're having a drink and we're sitting there and I was like, God, this is like the first summer that we've had without like some awful thing, some sort of real difficult thing to get through. So relieved, like, loving life. And then the next month, got a diagnosis which was so traumatic. I went into treatment. And when I came back from that, I remember having to go to work and it felt kind of surreal, you know, the idea that I was going to just sort of put these clothes back on and step back into the person you were, the person that I was, and the world as it had been kind of thing. And one of the strange things was having lost weight. Weight. Then I felt like I didn't fill my clothes out, so it was sort of like I couldn't occupy that life. And I also couldn't fill the clothes. I felt a bit lost, I suppose, in everything. I looked lost and I felt lost and I didn't know what to do. And just on a practical level, like, that's one of the things that's really difficult what you do in that situation. You know, you don't know how long you're going to be thin for. Right?

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

You don't know what's going to happen to your body. You don't know what drugs you're going to be put on that then might make you gain weight or whatever. And then after a certain point, I thought, okay, it's time to take charge of this. And I think that was when I knew that I was really getting better. You know, when I sort of stepped and I was like, okay, so what do I want to keep? What do I want to let go of?

[Dilly Carter]

It's almost like you're shedding, isn't It.

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah, definitely.

[Dilly Carter]

It's almost like you're shedding the former version of you. Our clothes represent so much about who we are.

[Lauren Laverne]

Well, it's how we show the world before we tell people who we are. It's how we show. Absolutely.

[Dilly Carter]

It's how we turn up, isn't it? The height of my illness, I dropped down to four and a half stone.

[Lauren Laverne]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dilly Carter]

I'm back to a healthier weight. But there are some dresses that were still tiny that I thought, I can get into that I might be able to wear that. And I'm like. I look at it and I just think, God, that was. That was. That was not. Well, you. That was when you were really tiny. And it's funny that you think, oh, I just. I need to either let go of that or just embrace it or, you know, is that still me? Is it not? You just.

[Lauren Laverne]

It's a process, isn't it? And that's the funny thing about. I thought, like, when I got home from hospital, I would be better.

[Dilly Carter]

Yes.

[Lauren Laverne]

And I think the thing I've learned in recovery is that there's no such sort of place as better. It's like I used to think of better as a finished state.

[Dilly Carter]

Great. Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

And it's not. No, it's a. It's a process that you go through, and it could be very, very long. And I think. I think it takes a good couple of years, really, before you get your head around something as traumatic as that. That's not to say you can't have joy and feel great. And, you know, in lots of ways, I feel much better than I did before. You know, I enjoy life much more

[Dilly Carter]

and I appreciate more.

[Lauren Laverne]

I don't worry in the way that I used to. I'm much more relaxed as a person. You know, I'm not scared of, like, things going wrong, wrong, because they've gone wrong, and I've dealt with it. You know, I know how strong I am. So actually, I'm. You know, in loads of ways, life's better than it was before. But like you say, things do change. So for me, going through my wardrobe and. And letting go of what I needed to let go of, and then when I was choosing what to keep deciding, right, okay, now's the time to get it altered. And actually sending those suits to brilliant tailor seamstress. And she made them fit me. Exactly. And I cannot tell you, I wore that the other week to interview Paul McCartney, which is just a dream. And to be able to do that in something that had been emblematic of me feeling ill at ease with myself and that. No, no, this fits me perfectly now. Like, that was a really, really good feeling.

[Dilly Carter]

Clothes reflect so many different things, don't they? They can be happy, they can be sad. That's why it's so important to go through your wardrobe regularly and think, actually, if they don't bring me joy anymore, they're things that I can let go of.

[Lauren Laverne]

How often should I be doing it, do you think?

[Dilly Carter]

Well, I. Every season. You should be going through your wardrobe every season at least. Do you rotate your wardrobe?

[Lauren Laverne]

I have no, because Graham built me, I think after I got ill, when I came home, he built me a wardrobe room.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, amazing.

[Lauren Laverne]

I don't have to rotate it. I've got space. I sort of want it to look like a little shop.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

That's what it makes me too sad when it's like, you know, when it gets out of hand, it looks depressing.

[Dilly Carter]

So, yeah, you want to enjoy it. You want to look at all your beautiful dresses.

[Lauren Laverne]

But every season you think is like. Like, that's.

[Dilly Carter]

I always think every season you should go through everything.

[Lauren Laverne]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Have you got any items in your wardrobe that you've kept that you think, oh, my gosh, that was a massive, massive faux pas, and I just can't bear to get rid of it.

[Lauren Laverne]

Oh, my God. Probably other people would say that. Yeah, that I have. But I think one of the things for me is as well, after being ill, I got much bolder in what I wanted to wear. So actually I didn't feel kind. I wasn't worried about, like, other people's judgment. So I've worn a lot more color, a lot more prints.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

Like, I've got quite a lot of suits in, like, very full on prints.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

Glastonbury. Last year I wore a big, like, sky blue sequin caftan that was, like, floor length, you know, which probably I wouldn't have worn before. But actually I loved it.

[Dilly Carter]

Glastonbury.

[Lauren Laverne]

And it was just, you know, just fun.

[Dilly Carter]

What is your wardrobe looking like at the moment? Are you very good at, you know, one in, one out?

[Lauren Laverne]

I'm getting better at one in, one out. Yeah. I've also. The kids have got me into the resale websites.

[Dilly Carter]

Good. So.

[Lauren Laverne]

Which I like. I like that. So I've been, you know, obviously I donate as well to charity, which I always feel good about doing. It's organized, but it's full space is

[Dilly Carter]

so important with everything in our homes. It's about what you've got space for. If you've Got the space to rotate. Rotate. If you've only got the space to have what you have, then just use that space. It's when we haven't got the space and we're constantly buying and nothing's leaving, that's when it's a problem. That's when it starts feeling overwhelming. And that's when we don't enjoy our stuff. You know, we want to be able to enjoy all these beautiful things. We don't want those things to feel heavy. And actually we see the benefit when it is lighter.

[Lauren Laverne]

On that note, actually, I've got a question, which is about the reselling, because the kids like to do a bit of reselling online as well, which is great. But how long would you say to leave the things up there before you're like, no, this is clutter and it's got to go out, because that's the thing, is that you end up with a big bag or a big pile or whatever, and it's just sitting there for a while.

[Dilly Carter]

I normally give it no more than three months. That's it. If it's not gone in three months and donates, then it goes. Yeah, it donates. I store all my vintage under my spare bed in identical bags, but each bag is labeled. So I've got jeans, trainers, T shirts.

[Lauren Laverne]

So you kind of pack it in advance.

[Dilly Carter]

I pack it all in advance.

[Lauren Laverne]

Once you put it up, yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

So basically I pack it all, so everything's ready to go. And write on there what it is, so as soon as it sells, I can grab it. So all my skirts are together, my jeans are together, my T shirts, so it's easy to find.

[Lauren Laverne]

It's like a little shop in your spare room.

[Dilly Carter]

It's like a little shop in my spare room. So you can literally just come and put. Yeah, it's very pleasing. Oh, Lauren, thank you so much for bringing all your amazing items. Items. If you had to, which would you sell, donate or keep?

[Lauren Laverne]

Well, I donate the suit because that's. That's had a great life. Sell the records because it's great and it's limited edition. Someone else would want.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

And then I would keep my dad's binoculars.

[Dilly Carter]

Keep your dad's binoculars. And my last question to you. Where in your home is your happy place?

[Lauren Laverne]

Oh, God. I mean, it's on the sofa with the entire family. When everybody's together.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Lauren Laverne]

And we're watching something that everyone likes

[Dilly Carter]

in front of the tv.

[Lauren Laverne]

I just, like, gathered, you know, like. Or chatting, you know, on his. These days, actually. On a Sunday morning. Yeah. When I've been up early and, you know, me and my little one are up and then my husband kind of comes down a little bit after that and then maybe my son and his girlfriend come and then like, everyone's there, cats and the dogs and everyone's laughing. Oh, the cats and dogs are. The cat and dog are obviously there. Yeah, like that's, that's a nice time.

[Dilly Carter]

Sunday mornings, there's nothing like it, is there? Yeah, well, Sunday mornings in most people's houses, I feel like just the best time of the week.

[Lauren Laverne]

Well, that's why Desert Island Discs is on then.

[Dilly Carter]

You see, that's why it's the best time. Lauren, thank you so much for your time. It's been so lovely to sit with you and yeah, I feel very honored. So thank you.

[Lauren Laverne]

Oh, me too. Thank you for having me.

[Dilly Carter]

I can't wait to be back with you. For more revealing home truths, organizational hacks and celeb unboxing, sort your life out. Unpacked is presented by me, Diddy Carter. You can watch us on iplayer and listen on BBC Sounds. And don't forget to subscribe on BBC Sounds and have push notifications turned on to make sure you don't miss an episode.

[Corona Extra Advertiser]

From BBC Radio 4, this is Legend, the Miles Davis Story.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

If we talk about great artists of the 20th century, then we can talk about a Picasso, a Miles.

[Corona Extra Advertiser]

Miles Davis didn't just change jazz. He was a new kind of black superstar, a rebel who refused to stay in the lane the world built for him.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

He's wearing expensive clothes, buying Ferraris. He's not making himself palatable. You have to take him as he is.

[Corona Extra Advertiser]

I'm Clark Peters and this is Legend, the Miles Davis Story, a series exploring the many sides of a complicated genius. Listen first on BBC Sounds.

[Whole Foods Market Advertiser]

Grainger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about the to fail filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Corona Extra Advertiser]

Save more on what you need to get the job done right. Right now at Lowe's, get 15% off select custom entry and interior doors, plus save $80 on the DeWalt 20 volt max 2 tool combo kit now just $169. And at the Lowes Pro desk, bring us your materials list and get a quote in minutes Handwritten, a photo or even a sticky note is all you need. Keep your jobs moving faster and on budget at Lowe's. Valid through 78 while supplies last selection varies by location.