Desiree Burch: Corsets and Crystals

Summary

Sort Your Life Out Unpacked

Episode Title: Desiree Burch: Corsets and Crystals
Podcast: Sort Your Life Out Unpacked (Optomen for iPlayer & BBC Sounds)
Host: Dilly Carter
Guest: Desiree Burch
Date: July 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features Desiree Burch, comedian and host of Netflix's "Too Hot to Handle." Dilly Carter, the UK’s resident tidying expert, unboxes three mystery items from Desiree’s home to reveal the sentimental, humorous, and deeply personal stories behind the objects that matter most. Along the way, the conversation moves from confessions about organization struggles and beauty product hoarding, to tales of sexual empowerment, creativity, and finding home across continents.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Desiree’s Relationship with Clutter and Organization ([01:05]–[04:55])

• Desiree admits to being a “1 out of 10” in the organization department.
  • “My home, my room, my purse is just sort of a scattershot … I’ll probably need this at some point, I guess.” (Desiree Burch, [02:08])
• She explores the fine line between 'messy' and 'untidy':
  • She enjoys the chaos but acknowledges that clutter carries a mental burden and blocks creativity.
• Dilly reframes household clutter:
  • “All of these items are screaming messages to us … If you tackle doing these things, you’re gonna suddenly feel lighter because that’s one less thing off your to do list.” (Dilly Carter, [04:10])

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2. Quickfire Home Truths ([03:27]–[05:54])

• Desiree describes her home as "quirky, but quirky needs some elbow grease."
• Her bedside table is “a hub of convenience”—a mix of essential sleep aids and a “basket for the sex toys.”
  • “If you do it right, you only need a couple.” (Desiree Burch, [05:38])
  • Dilly advises: “Just make sure that they’re in some sort of lovely silk bag by the side of your bed.” ([05:57])

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3. Unboxing the First Item: Beauty and Hair Products ([06:10]–[12:56])

• Dilly opens a box stuffed with unopened beauty products.
  • “It’s a lot of hair … All of these are unopened. I’ve purchased these years ago. Haven’t touched them yet.” (Desiree Burch, [06:25])
• Desiree admits these products account for only 10% of her total stash—she’s a “creature of habit” but a “marketing company’s dream.”
  • “I buy into the general story that all marketing … relies upon: you’re deficient, you need this to be whole.” (Desiree Burch, [07:32])
• Dilly's key decluttering strategies:
  • Unsubscribe from promotional emails.
  • Implement “The Saturday Test”: Want it on Monday? Wait until Saturday; if you still want it, consider buying.
    • “If you have forgotten about that item come Saturday, you didn’t really want it.” (Dilly Carter, [09:09])
  • Designate a single storage space for all products:
    • “If those products do not fit into that cupboard … they have to go.” (Dilly Carter, [12:33])
• Listener voice note (from Desiree’s boyfriend): reveals the beauty products have spread to multiple rooms—including the “US-size conditioner” in vast quantities.
  • Desiree laughs: “He has appropriated quite a few [of my hair combs].” ([10:47])
• Guilt and waste:
  • “Should I just quarterly light some money on fire? Because that’s essentially what I’m doing with these products.” (Desiree Burch, [12:48])

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4. Unboxing the Second Item: The Corset ([13:06]–[18:54])

• Desiree produces a corset with a rich backstory: purchased during her short stint as a professional dominatrix in her 20s.
  • “This was the corset that … I went out and bought as part of the investment in my job.” (Desiree Burch, [13:18])
• Her motivations:
  • Initially sought out sex work as a means of empowerment, battling body shame and confronting societal expectations.
  • “I worked as a dominatrix when I was still a virgin, which is like a nutty thing to say.” ([13:47])
  • The corset as literal and metaphorical armor and performance costume.
    • “At some point, it forms to your foot … do I really want to go through that?” (Desiree Burch, [18:13])
• Dilly suggests: The corset could be given pride of place as a historic creative object in her home.

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5. Unboxing the Third Item: Crystals ([20:01]–[26:49])

• A box of three crystals—each with specific meaning, but Desiree owns dozens, gathered over 10–15 years.
  • “It’s not quite a hundred, but it’s probably close to like 50.” (Desiree Burch, [20:28])
• They serve as souvenirs from travels and sources of energetic comfort.
  • “They do act as souvenirs … it’s a small way of bringing that [sense of home] with me in a way.” ([21:26]–[22:26])
• On home and identity:
  • Desiree reflects on feeling caught between her American roots and life in London.
    • “At some point, I’m like: I want to go home, and what that means is my home in London.” ([22:12])
    • “There is something about the land … when I go out there, I miss it … I miss looking out the window and seeing mountains.” ([22:26])
• Dilly shares her own story of feeling drawn to Sri Lanka, her birthplace, adding a touching moment of solidarity.

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6. Reflections on Childhood Home ([24:10]–[26:25])

• Desiree recalls growing up as one of few Black families in a white and East Asian LA suburb, experiencing both economic hardship and cultural dissonance.
  • “People don’t come over to our house kind of house … slumber parties happen at other people’s houses.” ([24:12])
  • She shares the realization that all families have struggles, many just hide them better.
    • “You grow up and you go, oh, I didn’t realize that there were all of these nightmare things happening behind the scenes …” ([25:54])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Clutter & Creativity:
  “When it comes time to take on a creative task … then all of a sudden, it’s time to clean.”
  —Desiree Burch ([02:25])

• On Marketing & Consumption:
  “I buy into the general story that all marketing … relies upon: you’re deficient, you need this to be whole or better …”
  —Desiree Burch ([07:32])

• On Objects as Armor:
  “That corset and armor … is protecting you from being who you actually are.”
  —Desiree Burch ([16:08])

• On Home & Belonging:
  “It just feels like it’s in your DNA or in your skin, in your ancestry, in your something. Something in your DNA feels like, okay, finally, like you’re unwinding in a new way.”
  —Desiree Burch ([24:00])

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Important Timestamps

• Dilly Introduces Desiree & Org Levels: [01:05]–[02:25]
• Quickfire Home Truths: [03:27]–[05:54]
• Unboxing 1: Beauty Products: [06:10]–[12:56]
• Unboxing 2: The Corset/Dominatrix History: [13:06]–[18:54]
• Unboxing 3: Crystals & Home Reflection: [20:01]–[26:49]
• Childhood Home & Identity: [24:10]–[26:25]
• What to Keep, Donate, Sell: [26:58]–[27:40]
• Desiree’s “Happy Place” at Home: [27:54]–[28:34]

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Final Choices: Keep, Donate, Sell ([26:58]–[27:40])

• Sell: A crystal
• Keep: The corset (“she and I have been through so much”)
• Donate: The beauty products (to a hygiene bank)

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Desiree’s “Happy Place” ([27:54]–[28:34])

A cozy meditation and reading corner in her office—simply a single comfy chair, draped in soft fabric, representing peace and relaxation.

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Organizational Tips from Dilly Carter

• Unsubscribe from marketing emails to control impulse shopping.
• Use “The Saturday Test” for prospective purchases.
• Centralize similar items in a single storage location—set limits by shelf or cupboard size.
• Donate or recycle unopened or unneeded products via hygiene banks and recycling schemes.

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Tone & Vibe:
Candid, humorous, and intimate, with both women sharing personal histories and practical advice in an engaging, non-judgemental style.

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This episode encourages listeners to not only re-evaluate what they keep, but to reflect on the stories and feelings attached to their possessions, using organization as a tool for self-acceptance and emotional clarity.

Transcript

[Desiree Burch]

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the uk.

[Advertisement Voice]

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[Narrator]

Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word.

[Desiree Burch]

My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. Twas a lovely suv, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast. An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

[Dilly Carter]

I'm Dilly Carter, the organized one, and this is Sort yout Life Out Unpacked. Get ready to unpack three boxes with my celebrity guest. Every box has an item from their own home, plus a load of stories and memories. And stand by for my tips on how to sort your own life out too. This episode, I am joined by the hilarious host and voice of Netflix, Too Hot to Handle. We are so grateful that she's brought her stand up over here from the US but she's described herself as a 1 out of 10 when it comes to organization, so it sounds like we've got more to unpack than just her items. Welcome the wonderful Desiree Burch.

[Desiree Burch]

Thank you so much.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, thank you so much for being here. But I mean, one out of ten, Desiree.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah, I'm so happy to meet someone who could finally sort my life out. I need intervention. You seem as divine as I deserve, so please help me.

[Dilly Carter]

Why a 1 out of 10? What has happened?

[Desiree Burch]

Look, my home, my room, my purse is just sort of a scattershot of like, I'll probably need this at some point, I guess. I don't know. And you know, you're not dirty, you're just untidy or what is the, you

[Dilly Carter]

know, just a mess you're happy to be amidst the chaos.

[Desiree Burch]

You say that, but when it comes time to take on a creative task like going to write or something else, then all of a sudden, it's time to clean. Yeah, then I can kind of do that. I think at some point, though, it all kind of becomes too much. And yeah, you do want things in their place. I would say a broad swath of society definitely hesitates in engaging people or inviting people into their space because it's like, well, it's not clean yet. It's not presentable yet. It's not. It's not the mask I want to be wearing around the people that I want. Right. As opposed to being. Look, yeah, I'm a mess, but part of that is why you like me and trust me, here I am anyway.

[Dilly Carter]

Here I am in all my mess and all my glory, Right? Yes. And actually, like you said, it can be quite endearing.

[Desiree Burch]

Then, like, I like a house that's sometimes a little bit more crowded with, like, books and paintings and, you know, stacks of things or knickknacks or whatever. Cause it just lets me kind of delve a little bit more into who that person is.

[Dilly Carter]

And delve we will. I cannot wait to see your three items. But before we have a look at those, I want to ask you a few quick fire home truths.

[Desiree Burch]

Oh, dear.

[Dilly Carter]

How would you describe your home in a sentence?

[Desiree Burch]

It's quirky, but. Quirky. Quirky is nice, but I think it wants a little bit more elbow grease to kind of be actualized. I think I've only lived in this place for a couple of years, and there's still things that need to be unpacked, like, you know, pieces of art that I want to get framed and things like that to kind of transition from youth, you know, into sort of my adulthood, even though I'm more than an adult. But, like, there are things, and I'm like, I've collected these things. I want to honor them in a way, you know, which is so important. Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

When you look at that picture, you look at the items around your home, they're all mini to do lists.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

So that's why it becomes so stressful, because you're almost looking at 200 things that are scattered around your front room, lying around the house, that are all signify things that you have to do. All of these items are screaming messages to us. And that is often the case. And sometimes that's why we revoke them. That's why we don't touch them. That's why we leave them. Because it's like, I've got enough to do lists in my head, let alone looking at all these things. But what you're not realizing is actually how much all of these things are affecting you. And if you tackle doing these things, you're gonna suddenly feel lighter because that's one less thing off your to do list.

[Desiree Burch]

I think some people are better at looking at a thing and seeing a thing, and some of us see one thing, then we see Two things, then we see ten things, then we see two. Like, it just.

[Dilly Carter]

It's too overwhelming.

[Desiree Burch]

Like, really quickly.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah, you know?

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah, okay, I'm passing on this. Overwhelm. Let me stop. Let me stop. Overbuilding.

[Dilly Carter]

No, no, no. Complete the sentence. My bedside table is a hub of convenience. And I love that. A hub of convenience.

[Desiree Burch]

I mean, these days it has things that I'm going to need before I go to sleep and as soon as I wake up. So sometimes that's like headphones, but then at night it's like perimenopausal. There's like, here's progesterone, here's the magnesium, here's the whatever. So there's. There's that, you know, and then also, you know, the basket for the sex toys. Can I say that on this podcast? Otherwise we could get rid of it.

[Dilly Carter]

I want all of that.

[Desiree Burch]

I'm just saying when you want them, you want them there. You don't want to be like, time out. I gotta go into a different Tupperware and search for also. I don't have that many sex stories. If you do it right, you only need a couple.

[Dilly Carter]

And they definitely shouldn't be stored in Tupperware, by the way.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah, yeah, totally. There's nothing romantic.

[Dilly Carter]

Just make sure that they're in some sort of lovely silk bag by the side of your bed.

[Desiree Burch]

Yes.

[Dilly Carter]

Okay, so should we dive into your items?

[Desiree Burch]

Let's do it.

[Dilly Carter]

Do you want to hand me over your first box, please?

[Desiree Burch]

Yes. All right, here we go.

[Dilly Carter]

Let's see.

[Desiree Burch]

Let's find out what's in this box.

[Dilly Carter]

Okay, so we've got a medium sized box. Oh, let's have a look. Okay, so in this box, it looks like beauty items, like a selection of beauty items. You've got hair gel, hair oil.

[Desiree Burch]

It's a lot of hair.

[Dilly Carter]

Lots of hair.

[Desiree Burch]

It's mostly hair and one face. I think so far you've got. All of these are unopened. I've purchased these years ago. Haven't touched them yet. Always think that, oh, this is gonna make my hair totally awesome, and then I don't use it.

[Dilly Carter]

I feel like this is probably just a percentage of the items that you have. Do you feel like you have hundreds of products?

[Desiree Burch]

I would say that this is probably 10% of what I've got. You know, more of it is opened, you know, but still, there's definitely probably two more face serums that I haven't touched that I was like, well, you know, I'm well into my 40s. I need to Be getting anti aging, whatever the. And then I always use the same three things from Body Shop.

[Dilly Carter]

So like, so you don't even try or you think you want to buy the new things, but then you don't even.

[Desiree Burch]

And then I don't try them because I'm like, well, I also am a creature of habit. And it's like, I know what I like. And so sometimes it's kind of like, okay, do you want to try a new thing? You clearly fell for the marketing.

[Dilly Carter]

I was just about to say, do you think you are a marketing company's dream?

[Desiree Burch]

Oh, absolutely. I mean, I, I think my boyfriend comments this on all the time. I would say that yes, I'm a marketing company's dream because I buy into the general story that all marketing of any product relies upon is that you're deficient. And you need this to be whole or better than what you are. You need this to be that you want because you're less than the thing that you want.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Desiree Burch]

Which is the root of all marketing and just generally capitalism. Right. So. And being American, it's like we're, we're essentially breastfed this.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Desiree Burch]

You know, it's just like, hey, you know what? You know what? You have the potential to be great, but right now, F minus. And so you're going to need to. These, I don't know, Cheetos or something. Like whatever it is, you're going to

[Dilly Carter]

need X, Y and Z to make you better.

[Desiree Burch]

You need this for your face. You need to eat this, you need to read this, you need to wear that.

[Dilly Carter]

But do you ever think about making sure you use what you have before you go and buy?

[Desiree Burch]

Oh, that would be novel.

[Dilly Carter]

Because that is a simple tip, isn't it?

[Desiree Burch]

It's just use what you have. Like if you don't, if you still have it, then you don't need any more.

[Dilly Carter]

But I think number one, what we have to make sure is when we are looking at anything that we consume, when we're looking at any marketing or any type of advertising, if you are someone that is susceptible to buying lots and if you're encouraged, number one, unsubscribe as much as you can unsubscribe to. That's really important, especially your emails. You know, can you spend five minutes every Monday unsubscribing from emails that you don't need so that it stops that encouragement. There's something that I do as well, you know, when it comes to products and especially clothing is. It's called the Saturday test and the Saturday test is say, for example, you know, it's Monday and something comes into your email box because you haven't unsubscribed and you're like, oh my God, I love that yellow vest top. And you're like, shall I buy it? Before you click buy, just think, can I wait till Saturday now? Don't buy it now. If you keep thinking about it, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, by Saturday you're still thinking about it. Great. Buy it. If you have forgotten about that item come Saturday, you didn't really want it.

[Desiree Burch]

This is brilliant actually, because at some point after you've thought about a thing and the sort of the chemical process is finished, you know, you don't have that euphoria about buying it anymore. And it's like, I don't really need it or actually want it that much.

[Dilly Carter]

There's so much to be learned from, from these products. You know, thinking about how you can wait, thinking about having that one in, one out rule and thinking about not impulse buying, unsubscribing, you know, there's so much take home actually. We've got a voice note, a voice note from your boyfriend about where these products live.

[Narrator]

So Desiree has so many beauty and hair products all over the bathroom in the spare bedroom. Even if you're studying in hair study, you're going to find beauty and hair. And it's not just how much of it, it's also the individual quantities. Sometimes. For example, here conditioner comes from the US and it comes in a, in a, in a, in a US style size of container, it's like half a gallon worth of hair container. So even combs. Hair combs. I sometimes use them for my beard. Please.

[Desiree Burch]

He has appropriate quite a few.

[Narrator]

And it's so. So we both benefit. But there is just so much of it.

[Dilly Carter]

Yes, there's just so much of it.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah. Well, I will say that this conditioner could completely replace all of the other ones. So salon size, actually, Ma, in terms of like. That's a really good one. It's probably the best one I found, which is why I bought it in that size. But now I could probably get rid of anything else that isn't that thin. Yes, you can, because that one works. Right. But yeah, I was like, I'm like in the spare bedroom. That's mostly clothes. But he's right. Sometimes they're sitting in my office because it's like, oh, if I'm doing like a. Yeah. And especially it's like that's where I'll record things. So if I'm doing something over zoom or whatever, then it's like the others. Or if I'm doing a self tape, the other side is the dressing room, you know, while I get over there and I'm like, oh, yeah, recording that. Oh, I just woke up like this.

[Dilly Carter]

That's it. Say the products are going from one area to another to another. So they're slowly spilling into all areas of your house. So something that can probably help you to reduce that is think, right, I need an area for all my products so that I don't think, have I not got it in this room? Have I not got it in that room? Because what happens is if you suddenly think, I don't know where all my things are, you end up buying multiples of those items. And then that's when they start spilling into every single area in your house. So if you have a said cupboard, for example, and you could dedicate that to all your beauty products and you could have say, let's say this said cupboard is like, what was sitting behind us has got three shelves in it. And on those three shelves, one is all hair care, one is all beauty, and one is body. Now, those three shelves and that cupboard are your limit.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Now, if those products do not fit into that cupboard and onto those shelves, they have to go.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Now, you don't just have to bin them. We can recycle these things, especially if they're brand new. There are so many places nowadays that you can recycle things too. So nothing does go to waste.

[Desiree Burch]

It's like you've wasted the money. And then you're like, oh, should I just quarterly light some money on fire? Because that's essentially what I'm doing with these products.

[Dilly Carter]

Exactly. Because you're. It's only because you're not in control of what you've got.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Okay, shall we move on to your second box?

[Desiree Burch]

All right, let's do it.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, la la.

[Desiree Burch]

Yes. Okay.

[Dilly Carter]

I'm excited by this. In this box is a very beautiful.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Corset.

[Desiree Burch]

So this corset I have had for 23, 24 years. This was the corset that when I, in my 20s, worked as a professional dominatrix, was the corset that I went out and bought as part of the investment in my job.

[Dilly Carter]

So. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's rewind. So you, in your early 20s, were a professional dominatrix?

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Desiree Burch]

Like you do.

[Dilly Carter]

How? Why? What? When? Tell me all.

[Desiree Burch]

I guess it was something that I. I done. Which is a weird way to talk about a Job. But it just seemed like I. I mean, there were so many reasons. I did a whole show. I did a couple of shows talking about this, I think. But part of going into the sort of sex work industry was about me trying to claim status as like, part like a sexual being. I worked as a dominatrix when I was still a virgin, which is like a nutty thing to say. But having done a show talking about it, I've met other people who are like, I did. So I'm like, okay. I don't feel absolutely.

[Dilly Carter]

Was it like an escapism or into something that wasn't happening. So it was more exciting.

[Desiree Burch]

I think it was me trying to figure out myself as a sexual being, feeling like a lot of body shame. Like, I've always just sort of. I've always been a fat person. I've always had a sort of sense of like. And so I thought that, you know, being the Ivy League educated brainiac that I was, that I was gonna go out and learn all of these and sort of try to figure out where I might fit in. I think that I was still judging myself based on patriarchal ideals and, you know, feeling like I wasn't wanted in one way, but then kind of constantly getting a sort of like. I don't know how to describe it, but like fitting into the fetish world. Right. You know, because I was a lot more coveted in the fetish world being just looking like a dominant. Right. You know, looking like somebody who's like, oh, in charge and whatever. Like, there were some guys who were kind of like, eh, in secret but not in public. So it was interesting to kind of discover more of a full range of like, look like all people embodies are sexual beings. Some of us need to figure out how we are desirable in order to start seeing that in ourselves. Particularly if you grow up with messaging that tells you otherwise, that makes you

[Dilly Carter]

feel invisible, whereas this makes you felt like you belonged.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah, totally.

[Dilly Carter]

So it was like a community of

[Desiree Burch]

like, here's the archetype in which I belong and I make sense.

[Dilly Carter]

So how long were you a dominatrix for?

[Desiree Burch]

Not very long. Less than a year. Yeah, just a bit under a year.

[Dilly Carter]

How was that for you? I mean, was it not scary or.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah, but I think that some of us, you know, I'm also a performer. I think that it's an acting gig as much as it is anything else, and you're crossing a threshold. You're walking onto stage or you're walking into a room and you're pretending to Be something which is in many ways, just like that corset and armor. Right. It is protecting you from being who you actually are.

[Dilly Carter]

And how did you make that jump from being a dominatrix to then getting into comedy?

[Desiree Burch]

So I studied theater when I went to Yale. I studied theater in high school. I always knew that as well. Yes. And I always knew that from the time that I ever took on a role and felt, like, alive for the first time, I knew that I had to be there. Like, I had to. Like, that was part of me being human on this planet was to, you know, like, get onto stage, to perform.

[Dilly Carter]

To perform, which is the dance. The combinatrix side of it is. Again, it's like you said, it is a performance, a show. It's getting into character.

[Desiree Burch]

A lot of times, part of getting into character is putting on the costume. Sometimes it's the blocking, it's the set, but, like, putting on the costume. Just, like, even when I go and do comedy, sure, I'm not wearing a costume. I'm wearing clothes. But, like, I'm wearing certain clothes. Like, there's some clothes that work for comedy and some clothes that work less. You know, I'm putting on makeup. Just this. Just the little ritual of putting on a little BB cream and some. An eyeliner and a lip is like, I'm suiting up to go into this arena, to do this thing.

[Dilly Carter]

It's almost like an invisible armor that you're putting on. Yeah.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Where do you keep this corset?

[Desiree Burch]

So these days, this corset kind of lives. It's not in the sort of clothing drawer of stuff that I'm wearing all the time. It's in. I got a Fortnum and Mason gift basket a long time ago, and I kept the basket because it's a great storage, but it's basically got, like, clothing in it that is just sort of like, this is the sort of hall of Fame kind of clothing of stuff that I might want to wear again. And I know where it is.

[Dilly Carter]

Do you think you'll wear that again?

[Desiree Burch]

She and I have been through so much. Right. You know, so she's a piece of history, and she's the original, and she's bent to my body. You know, the places where the bones broke are where it went from, like, waist to hip, and I just cinched it so hard that that's what happened. So, like, it's now been. It's like having a cowboy boot. You know, at some point it forms to your foot, and you're like to break another one in is do I really want to go through that?

[Dilly Carter]

A lot of people that have costumes like this, that have like a corset or dresses, sometimes you can, you can, like, you, you can frame it, you can display it, or you can put it on an actual bust, can't you? You have in the corner of your room, in the corner of your dressing room. If that's a piece of your history, then that's something quite nice to display, especially if you're creative. It might look quite cool sitting in the corner of your room.

[Desiree Burch]

I think if I start getting rid of some of my other things, extra clothes and products, I might have room for a bust.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah, you might have room for a bust in the corner.

[Advertisement Voice]

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[Desiree Burch]

When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there

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[Desiree Burch]

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[Desiree Burch]

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[Dilly Carter]

Okay, Would you like to pass me your third and final item? What could be in this box? Let's have a little look. Let's have a little look. What's in the box? Oh, okay. We have got crystals in this box. So there's. Hold on. There's three different crystals in this box. And I noticed when you came in,

[Desiree Burch]

I've got a citrine on. I have a whole coterie of crystals. Those were just the ones that I was like, vibing with today.

[Dilly Carter]

Okay.

[Desiree Burch]

I mean, I wish I could count the number of crystals. It's not quite a hundred, but it's probably close to like 50.

[Dilly Carter]

Do these three crystals have any significant meaning?

[Desiree Burch]

That blue one is blue kyanite. The white one is selenite. So, like, that one is good. Sort of like it's like meditation, sort of psychic properties, those kinds of things. This one is more of a cleansing grounding one. And then that one in your left hand is just a Geode that my friend's daughter opened for me.

[Dilly Carter]

When did you start collecting?

[Desiree Burch]

10, 15 years ago, maybe more.

[Dilly Carter]

That's why you built up such a

[Desiree Burch]

collection, a collection of them. Because, like, I'll see something that I don't have or something that just energetically, like, I'm just seeing. It's like. I don't know why that's drawing my eye to it, but maybe. Maybe it wants to come with me. But before then, it would just be, you know, it would be pretty rocks that I would find on a beach or on a hike or something like that that I was just like, oh, maybe that.

[Dilly Carter]

Hi.

[Desiree Burch]

You know, I try not to take them from places where it's like, don't take from this place, you know. And obviously there's some things that it's like, that belongs here. But that said, they do act as souvenirs. So when I go to a place, I'll pick up another crystal, you know, because I'm like, oh, I'd like something from the land of this particular place. So that would be like, I'll find a crystal shop. And then I'll be like, well, what's the crystal I'll get from this place?

[Dilly Carter]

And most of the crystals you bought been from the States.

[Desiree Burch]

The majority of them, I will say, are things that I either collected when I lived there or I got at like, you know, a couple of places that were there. There are a couple of them that I've gotten when I've gone to another country or on another trip, but the majority of them are from the US

[Dilly Carter]

does it feel like you're a bit of a tourist yourself, going back to America now? It's been so long.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah. Sometimes. I mean, I love my life here, and this is home. And even when I am out in, you know, visiting family, at some point, I'm like, I want to go home. And what that means is my home in London. Right. You know. Cause after 12 years, this is my home.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah, this is your home.

[Desiree Burch]

But there is something about the land, you know, the United States where I was born, particularly in California. When I go out there, I miss it. You know, I go back and I go like, I miss mountains. I miss looking out the window and seeing mountains. Like, there's something about that that you can only understand when you felt it. You know, when you go. Like, I need that kind of context around me to feel grounded. So this is a small of bringing that with me in a way, because there's a level to which I probably won't admit how homesick I am. Because it's not like a conscious thing. It's just being in a place and feeling like you breathe differently in that place.

[Dilly Carter]

I understand that.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Desiree Burch]

Right. Like, I don't know if you grew up in London or you grew up somewhere else, but, like, it probably feels different when you go back to that place just to breathe that air and be around those trees, those streets, those. Whatever it is.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. Oh, 100%, I think, you know, I was born in shapes. Sri Lanka. I was in an orphanage till I was three.

[Desiree Burch]

Oh, my God.

[Dilly Carter]

Every time I go back to Sri Lanka again, it's that own. It's only that feeling you get from going back to somewhere you feel like, yes, I belong. This is actually where I'm. This is probably where I was meant to be. Even though I've moved out, I go back and I feel that. That draw to this place. Even though I haven't grown up there and I left when I was three, I still feel it.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

You know, I arrive in Sri Lanka and I feel like, oh, my gosh. Like, the first morning I'm eating the food, I feel like, oh, God, this is home. This is where I'm meant to. So it must feel the same for you when you go back to it.

[Desiree Burch]

It just feels like it's in your DNA or in your skin, in your ancestry, in your something. Something in your DNA feels like, okay, finally, like you're unwinding in a new way.

[Dilly Carter]

And what was home like growing up?

[Desiree Burch]

Oh, God. I mean, I. I guess it depends on what layers of home we're talking about. If, like, you know, California is one thing, and it still very much feels like home. Like, where I grew up in Diamond Bar, which is a suburb of la, definitely felt like, just different. Like, it's very sort of sanitized. And then my house, which was probably a macrocosm of how I describe my room at the top, where it was just like, we lived in a. Like, people don't come over to our house kind of house, you know, And I've heard other people describe it, it's like, you know, slumber parties happen at other people's houses. You know, like, it wasn't a sort of. You know, whether it was because my mom was like, oh, we can't have people over. It's a mess, or whatever. Or it was just implied enough that it didn't need to be said that, like, we, you know, it's not like people didn't come over, but it was much rarer than I went over to my Closest friends, homes, you know, do

[Dilly Carter]

you think you missed out on anything because people didn't come over and stay. In terms of your friendships with your friends?

[Desiree Burch]

Growing up, it was like, a very white and East Asian neighborhood. We were one of a handful of black families. It always like. Like other people didn't get their electricity turned off because the bills weren't paid. You know what I mean? But we did that kind of thing. So there was definitely this sort of, like, being inside and outside of just of that socioeconomic group and feeling the need to sort of pretend, you know,

[Dilly Carter]

to be like, oh, yeah, everything's fine.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah, exactly. And so I think I felt I missed out on that sense of what I learned later, which is like, a lot of those people's families are hot messes as well.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, yeah.

[Desiree Burch]

You know what I mean? You grow up and you go, oh, I didn't realize that there were all of these nightmare things happening behind the scenes, because, I don't know, they were better at hiding it, whereas our parents were like, we're not gonna fight that hard. Just, everything happens behind the door.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. Yeah. It just. It keeps you completely separate. And actually, yeah, like you said, not everyone lives the same life. And what you then later on realize is, like you said, just because people aren't coming over doesn't mean that there's not stuff going on in that house. Do you feel that these crystals have supported you through some bad times? Do you think they've been instrumental to.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah, I mean, it feels like such a weird thing to say about a stone, but it just. It does feel like holding that in my hand at times or how it feels like it's adding something to the energy, like, of what it is that I'm putting out and also what it is that's out in the world that I'm confronting. I feel like they have helped.

[Dilly Carter]

So thank you, Desiree. We have seen and heard about all your items. Thank you so much for bringing them all in. So I'm gonna ask you what you would sell, donate, or keep?

[Advertisement Voice]

Okay.

[Dilly Carter]

So which item would you sell?

[Desiree Burch]

So of the three that I brought in today, the three that you bought in, I would sell a crystal. I would keep a corset. I would donate the cosmetics.

[Dilly Carter]

If you could donate to a hygiene bank. Perfect. Yeah. At least in the name of the

[Desiree Burch]

thing, you know, that was a thing.

[Dilly Carter]

It is a thing.

[Desiree Burch]

Okay, thank you.

[Dilly Carter]

And actually, all the beauty places you can go and take back all your beauty products, and a lot of them will give you vouch for more products. But what aren't we gonna do, Desiree? What aren't we gonna do when we buy beauty products?

[Desiree Burch]

Well, we aren't just gonna go out and bulk buy. We're not gonna go. We're definitely not gonna buy something because somebody just sort of sold it to us on the day. We're gonna wait till Saturday.

[Dilly Carter]

We gotta wait till then.

[Desiree Burch]

We're gonna figure out if we actually want and. Or need the thing. So let's look first at the one place where they live.

[Dilly Carter]

Exactly. Let's look at what we've got. And my last question to you, where in your home is your happy place?

[Desiree Burch]

Place my happy place is in. So the other side of my office, which is like the box room. It's like half of it I use for, like, work, and then the other half is sort of like a meditation space so that it's literally a chair that I have, like, you know, a little soft thing thrown over where I do a lot of the meditation or if I just want to, like, sit and read or something like that. That's kind of like a. You know, it's a space where, like, relaxing things happen.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Desiree Burch]

That is my happy place. But it's literally like a chair.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. But sometimes it doesn't need to be any more than that.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

And that is enough.

[Desiree Burch]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

And thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you for your time. It's been such a pleasure to have you.

[Desiree Burch]

Absolute pleasure. Thank you.

[Dilly Carter]

I can't wait to be back with you for more revealing home truths, organizational hacks, and celeb unboxings. Sort your life out. Unpacked is presented by me, Diddy Carter. You can watch us on iplayer and listen on BBC Sounds. And don't forget to subscribe on BBC Sounds and have push notifications turned on to make sure you don't miss an episode.

[Greg Jenner]

Hello, Greg Jenner here. I'm the host of youf're Dead to Me, the BBC comedy show that takes history seriously. Every episode, I pair up a top historian with a fantastic conversation. And we have a lovely, funny, fascinating chat about a different subject from world history. And in this new series, we're beginning with an epic voyage through the story of Homer, the Iliad, and the Odyssey. And that's with Kael Smith Byno joining us. And then we'll be learning about Francis Galton and the racist, discredited pseudoscience of eugenics. With Desiree Burch, we'll meet many medieval saints in their bone boxes. With Rachel Paris. That's your dead to me. Listen, first, first on BBC sounds

[Advertisement Voice]

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[Desiree Burch]

He's widely recognized as one of the greatest footballers in history.

[Greg Jenner]

He's won the prestigious Ballon d' or

[Desiree Burch]

award five times, he's the all time leading goal scorer in professional football, and

[Narrator]

according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, he's

[Desiree Burch]

the first active footballer in history to achieve billionaire status. Guess who we're talking about yet?

[Narrator]

That's right.

[Desiree Burch]

Good Bad Billionaire is exploring the life

[Narrator]

and fortune of football icon Cristiano Ronaldo.

[Desiree Burch]

That's Good Bad Billionaire from the BBC World Service. Listen now, wherever you get your BBC podcasts.