Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Disco, Dolls and the Dancefloor

Summary

Sort Your Life Out Unpacked

Episode: Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Disco, Dolls and the Dancefloor
Host: Dilly Carter (BBC Sounds)
Guest: Sophie Ellis-Bextor
Date: June 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the vibrant and eclectic life of singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Host Dilly Carter guides Sophie through an exploration of three mystery items brought from her home—each representing a meaningful story or aspect of her personality and life. The conversation weaves through topics like family, creativity, nostalgia, and organization, offering not only a peek into Sophie’s private world but also practical organizing tips for listeners. The episode is warm, candid, and reflective, with Sophie’s self-aware humor and Dilly’s encouraging, empathetic style shining throughout.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Domestic Chaos and Joy

[01:10–04:03]

• Sophie describes her home as “a joyful, chaotic celebration of domesticity in disco.”
• The kitchen is the heart of her household—unchanged since pre-lockdown days and central for both family gatherings and decompressing.
• Sophie is a mother to five boys; four still live at home.
• She thrives among eclectic “clutter”; her love for vintage, secondhand trinkets fills her home with fun and visual inspiration.
• Quote:

  "I take a lot of pleasure from what I see and I think not everybody's maybe wired exactly like that... For me, I can actively feel my brain being picked up by the juxtaposition of different things in my house."
  (Sophie, 04:03)

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2. First Unboxed Item: Blythe Doll

[06:10–11:12]

• Description: A Blythe Doll with large expressive eyes that change color with a string pull—a little “plasticky weirdness” Sophie adores.
• Sophie's first eBay purchase, sparking a lifelong love of collecting.
• The doll symbolizes feeling on the outside, a bit peculiar—reflecting Sophie's recollections of her school years before finding her "tribe" through music.
• She has many dolls scattered throughout the house, delighting in the oddness and vintage appeal.
• Sophie's collecting philosophy:

  “I very rarely buy new stuff... Giving it a bit of love and then moving it on is better than a lot of things.”
  (Sophie, 10:14)

• Dilly reminds listeners to collect only within the limits of their space for home harmony.
• Memorable Moment: Sophie demonstrates the doll’s eye color change, charming and slightly creepy to Dilly—“She's terrifying with those other eyes!” (Dilly, 07:20)

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3. Second Unboxed Item: Polaroid Photo

[11:12–20:15]

• Description: A Polaroid of Sophie, partner Richard, and their son Sonny on his first day of life.
• Sonny was born prematurely, as was her second son Kit. The photo was crucial for bonding while separated post-delivery for medical reasons.
• Sophie describes the moment she saw her son:

  “I thought, oh, I've met a whole person and he just happens to be a baby when we meet. And my job is to try and find out who he is and what he needs from me."
  (Sophie, 12:44)

• The photo’s emotional weight is heightened because it aided her in expressing milk for her NICU baby, serving as both a memento and connection.
• Dilly and Sophie discuss the importance of physical photos, family mementos, and sensible storage—labeling hand-me-downs by age, for example.
• Sophie keeps meaningful yet one-of-a-kind photos on the family dresser, including one of her own parents’ wedding despite their divorce, valuing the innocent joy captured in those moments.
• Quote:

  “You don't win any prizes for getting rid of something you later want.”
  (Sophie, 20:12)

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4. Third Unboxed Item: 'The Audience' Band T-shirt

[21:27–26:16]

• Description: A navy T-shirt with orange writing: “If you can’t do it when you’re young, when can you do it?” referencing a song by Sophie’s first band, The Audience.
• This band was Sophie's entry into music at age 16—an encounter that reshaped her direction from dreams of law or acting to full musical commitment.
• She shares how youthful optimism and band failure taught resilience leading to solo success (e.g., “Groovejet”).
• Quote:

  “I always like to give flowers to where it all started...”
  (Sophie, 21:52)
  “The answer is, when you're not young anymore, you can do it too.”
  (Sophie, 23:52)

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5. Sophie's Musical Journey and "Murder on the Dancefloor"

[24:55–26:16]

• Sophie reflects on the joyful surprise of her musical resurgence, specifically the recent Gen Z embrace of “Murder on the Dancefloor” after its use in the film Saltburn.
• She describes her philosophy on career satisfaction:

  “Whatever you do in your working life, I think you have to love it for the smallest version of it..."
  (Sophie, 26:13)

• Her story is a testament to creative perseverance, authenticity, and delight in life’s unexpected paths.

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Notable Quotes / Memorable Moments

• Sophie on feeling like an outsider:

  "Blythe... I can resonate with wanting to fit in, but just being that little bit peculiar on the outside of things." (07:22)

• On creative possessions:

  “As a musician, I'm encouraged to play—so I feel like it's been good for me to still play at home.” (05:59)

• On family’s generational cardigan:

  “My sister Martha had my niece... we've got a cardigan in the family that's gone down through my brother, my sister, all five of mine, and now is worn by Alba. So that's... its eighth baby.” (17:35)

• On letting go and regrets:

  “You don't win any prizes for getting rid of something you later want.” (20:12)

• On home as sanctuary:

  “Everywhere. I love being home. It's my absolute favourite.” (29:34)

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Organizational Tips From Dilly

• Hand-me-downs: Store in age-labeled boxes (e.g., 0–6 months, 6–12 months) for easy access and sharing. (18:00)
• Sentimental Items: Don’t rush to discard; value memories, even if they seem outdated (e.g., wedding photos from parents who have since divorced). (19:40)

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Final Segment: Keep, Donate, Sell?

[28:57–29:34]

• Keep: The photo (“one of one,” deeply personal).
• Sell: Blythe doll (“cover her ears, but there are more out there!”).
• Donate: The Audience T-shirt (hoping a fan or someone who likes the quote will treasure it).

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Happy Place

• Sophie’s happy place is, simply, “everywhere” in her home—she feels content as soon as she steps inside.

  “Everywhere. I love being home. It's my absolute favourite.” (29:34)

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Conclusion

This episode provides an endearing, often poignant, look at the objects and stories that shape Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s life: from collectibles that lean into oddness, to irreplaceable family moments, to mementoes of artistic beginnings and creative renewal. Dilly Carter’s organizing wisdom and gentle humor further round out the conversation—making it not just a celebrity unboxing, but an ode to finding joy, meaning, and yourself within your own four walls.

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Quick Access Timestamps

• [01:10] Dilly introduces Sophie and sets episode theme
• [04:03] Sophie's philosophy on home, clutter, and creativity
• [06:10] Unboxing: Blythe Doll and collecting stories
• [11:12] Unboxing: Polaroid Photo—parenthood and sentimental value
• [17:35] Hand-me-down and family legacy tips
• [21:27] Unboxing: The Audience T-shirt—musical beginnings
• [24:55] “Murder on the Dancefloor” and musical rebirth
• [28:57] Sell/Keep/Donate decisions
• [29:34] Sophie's happy place revealed

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For more guest unboxings, home truths, and organizing insights, listen to Sort Your Life Out Unpacked on BBC Sounds or watch on iPlayer.

Transcript

[Sean Farrington]

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[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Hey, good morning.

[Sean Farrington]

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[Dilly Carter]

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[Dilly Carter]

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[Sean Farrington]

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[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Look at me.

[Dilly Carter]

Take a deep breath.

[Sean Farrington]

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[Dilly Carter]

I'm Dilly Carter, the organized one, and this is Sort yout Life Out Unpacked. Get ready to unpack three boxes with my celebrity guest. Every box has an item from their own home, plus a load of stories and memories. And stand by for my tips on how to sort your own life out too. My guest. This episode has soundtracked our lives for over 25 years. She's brought us all a huge ton of joy during lockdowns with her sparkly kitchen discos and continues to do so with her latest album, Perry Menopaup. Her track Murder on the Dance Floor, which she lent to that iconic scene in Saltburn, has earned her a lot of lovely Gen Z fans as well. It's the forever fabulous Sophie Ellis Bexter. Welcome.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Forever fabulous.

[Dilly Carter]

Forever fabulous. One of my favorite pop stars of all time. I mean, I feel so honored to be sat next to you.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Same here.

[Dilly Carter]

It's so lovely for you to give up your time. Thank you so much. So if people are imagining your kitchen as the sparkly version that we saw in lockdown, is it still the case?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yeah, and actually it was the case before lockdown as well. All the stuff that we shared through the kitchen discos and we would livestream on my Instagram on a Friday night, we didn't actually tweak anything to make it look how it did. Because we always like music and also. Yes, we spend a lot of time in there cooking, but it's also where we hang out and. Yeah. Put music on and de stress as well. Like a lot of people, I think.

[Dilly Carter]

Exactly. It's the hub of the house, isn't it?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

It really is, yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

And you've got a very busy house.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I do.

[Dilly Carter]

You have five boys?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I have five kids, yeah. So four of them still at home. My youngest has just turned seven. Got a couple of teenagers as well, which always. It feels like the wheel has turned, you know, I'm in, like this different chapter, really.

[Dilly Carter]

Do you find it very strange when no one is in the house?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Well, that is very unusual and quite luxurious. And what I've been doing at the moment, if something like that happens, is I've actually been sorting my house out. Very good to hear.

[Dilly Carter]

Very good to hear. Music to my ears.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Ongoing process. I will never actually complete house. I've realised. I don't think it works like that.

[Dilly Carter]

It absolutely is. It needs constant maintenance.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yes.

[Dilly Carter]

I cannot wait to see what you brought in. I'm very excited. But first I'm going to ask you a few quick fire home truths.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Okay.

[Dilly Carter]

How do you describe your home in a sentence?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

It's a joyful, chaotic celebration of domesticity in disco.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, I love that. That's a very good description. What is your house? Bugbear.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

People starting a job and they're not finishing the job. See it through. Put the stuff away when you're done with it.

[Dilly Carter]

Yes.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yes. I just think if you start something.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

It's not completed till it's all back away again. Thank you. I don't want to know what you've been up to. I don't want to see the evidence.

[Dilly Carter]

No.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Finish it.

[Dilly Carter]

Yes. Name an item in your home that might sometimes cause disagreements.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Can it just be a sort of collective noun of clutter, really? I think. I mean, I take a lot of pleasure from what I see and I think not everybody's maybe wired exactly like that. I know people do appreciate pretty things, but I think for me, I can actively feel my brain being picked up by the juxtaposition of different things in my house. And so I have filled my world with such trinkets and I'm aware a lot of it is rubbish that someone else didn't want, in a nutshell. But a lot of things secondhand. I love vintage stuff. Yes. But also just bizarre. Yes. But I love it because I can fill my home with Fun. And you can always change it. If you put paint on the walls or hang something on the wall, you think later on. Actually, I'm not sure it's working. Just change it. My mum has a wall in her house where we've all written things. I think I must have been 17 or 18 and my brother and sister were little. And it's still there. It's been preserved.

[Dilly Carter]

Is it writing or is it drawing?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yeah, we were given a little gold pen. And I'm so teenage. I've put the lyrics to Pulp's Disco 2000. Then was very much in the future. I've let my kids draw in certain places as well. And I thought other people felt more similar to me. And then I once put on Instagram, oh, I let the kids draw on their bedroom door. What do you let them draw on? And people were like, absolutely nothing. Yeah, absolutely nothing, quite frankly. But so long as they appreciate the home. And I always say to them, look, you can destroy every. There's nothing you can see you couldn't destroy, if that's what you want to do. We have to want to keep things looking lovely. We have to want to nurture our environment. We have to want to live somewhere we like and we're proud of. So I've tried to encourage them to appreciate that, but also to play. And I'm. I suppose, as a musician, I'm married to a musician. We are encouraged to play daily. So I feel like it's been good for me to still play at home. I like playing.

[Dilly Carter]

I love that it's your happy place. It's your safe place. It's where you can actually just be you with no one else there. So should we get into your first item?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Go on, then.

[Dilly Carter]

Let's see what you've got.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I don't actually know what order they're in.

[Dilly Carter]

Okay, let's have a look.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

A little magical mystery tour for the two of us.

[Dilly Carter]

Haven't had one of these before.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

What is it?

[Dilly Carter]

In this box is a little doll.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Oh, Blythe. Blythe, meet Dilly. Dilly, meet Blythe.

[Dilly Carter]

So I am holding Blythe.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yeah, I didn't name her. Actually. That is her sort of trade name.

[Dilly Carter]

I mean, she's got beautiful mop of dark brown hair which is in, like, a low, loose bun. She's got a fringe. And she actually looks very similar to you in that. She's got these beautiful big blue eyes.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

W. When she has. Right now. I'll show you her party trick in a minute.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, my gosh. I'M gonna pause it to you.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

She's older than me. Whenever I describe it to people who haven't seen one of these before, I say she's got a sort of Cindy Barbie body.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah, Cindy Barbie.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

And then a head the size of an orange. Yeah, she's got a really massive head.

[Dilly Carter]

But I mean, I wasn't saying she looked like you. Cause you got a massive head.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I didn't take any offense. I didn't even blink. That one.

[Dilly Carter]

She's got your beautiful big blue eyes.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Well, right now. But then if I pull string.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, my God.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

This is her orange.

[Dilly Carter]

Wow.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Sorry. It's freaky.

[Dilly Carter]

Suddenly, the blind eye.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

You look at her like this. Don't worry, I'll go back to something nice. Green.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, see? She looks lovely with her green eyes.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

And you can hear the little click, click.

[Dilly Carter]

She's terrifying with those other eyes.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I know, and I'm sorry about that. But for me, there's a couple of things about her I really like. I feel I can resonate with wanting to fit in, but just being that little bit peculiar on the outside of things. But also, she is the reason I made an ebay account all the way back in the late 90s. So when I think eBay must have only been one or two years old.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

And ebay has been a love affair that has lasted a long time for me.

[Dilly Carter]

It was your slippery slope.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Absolutely. Yeah. She's like a gateway to. Well, I suppose facilitating an addiction.

[Dilly Carter]

She's the beginning of your shopping addiction. She really is your love of ebay. Yeah. So how many do you think you've got?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I actually don't know. There must be.

[Dilly Carter]

Where do they live?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

All over the place. And I know some of them must scare the children. And I just haven't stopped.

[Dilly Carter]

Especially if they're just sat randomly around.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yeah. And I enjoy how odd they are.

[Dilly Carter]

They're not in your bedroom, are they?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Are there any in the bedroom? No, I don't think there are, actually.

[Dilly Carter]

Just in your front rooms.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

And it's all very specific. Cause you know when some people collect, I don't know, china dolls or something like. No, I don't want chintz. I want plasticky weirdness.

[Dilly Carter]

Plasticky weirdness. And you said you were drawn to them because you felt like you had an affinity.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

A little bit.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yeah. She had quite a vintage look. And I just think she probably just didn't quite fit in. I felt like that was probably me at school.

[Dilly Carter]

I was just gonna say, why do you think you didn't fit in?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I think I just felt like I hadn't found my people 100%. I mean, I did have friends at school, but I definitely felt slightly side on to school culture and the social life. So I never felt like I was in with the in crowd in that way. And I think slowly, I think music probably led me to find my tribe. And sometimes I'll forget what I've ordered on ebay and I'll open up a package and I'll just be found laughing hysterically in the kitchen at some absolute weirdness that I decided I must own.

[Dilly Carter]

Do you on the app?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yes. Sometimes I'll find something, you know, like say in the morning I'll think, ooh, I hadn't thought of searching for that. And then by the evening I've got, you know, seven one bids and suddenly I'm a collector.

[Dilly Carter]

Have you ever thought about deleting your app?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Why would I want to do that? I'm happy. I'm very at peace, really, with the joy that comes my way with this.

[Dilly Carter]

You enjoy collecting?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yeah. And it's always bargains. I don't spend silly money. I think probably by the most expensive thing like that I've ever bought, actually.

[Dilly Carter]

How much was she?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

She was probably about £200. Wow. But they now go for about 7 or 800, I think.

[Dilly Carter]

Really?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Antiques Roadshow, here I come.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. So is that what you're doing? You're building your collection to go onto the Antiques Roadshow?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Because everything else is just worth nothing. And I do know that I don't really know exactly what it all means, but I do know that it makes me happy and it makes a lot of things make me laugh fairly regularly. Like how many ice skating outfits does one person need?

[Dilly Carter]

I mean, you've got a great, great wardrobe, by the way, but it's fun.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Y Also, I'm very aware I'm only a custodian for a while.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I will set it all free one day.

[Dilly Carter]

I wonder when that will be.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I don't know. I definitely enjoy all the stories that go along with it and I think I feel grateful that if I'm going to have a penchant for something, something that's secondhand, giving it a bit of love and then moving it on is better than a lot of things. I'm not buying new stuff.

[Dilly Carter]

No.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I very rarely buy new stuff.

[Dilly Carter]

No, it's all a secondhand pre loved market.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I'm happy with that.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. Which is good. Vintage market is great. But again, it's just being mindful that you're not overfilling. Your house and that it's not affecting the way that you feel about your house. Collect as much as you have space for, and that's very important.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I don't know if I'd adhered to that, but I do understand to keep

[Dilly Carter]

all these lovely things.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I think I'm a bit of a goldfish. I don't know if it's true, but they say goldfish grow to the size of their tank.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, okay.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

And I think whatever size tank I've been in, I've just gone, right, great opportunity.

[Dilly Carter]

In this box, there is just a photo, and it is a Polaroid photo of some parents looking at a baby.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yeah.

[Dilly Carter]

Is that you?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yeah. But I look probably quite different. Firstly, because it's nearly 22 years ago now.

[Dilly Carter]

Oh, my gosh. Sonny with Mum and Dad.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

So that's when he's one day old. Yeah. So that's little me and little Richard. We've just turned.

[Dilly Carter]

So Sunny's your oldest son.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yes.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yeah. So we had our 25th birthday at the beginning of that month.

[Dilly Carter]

Your 25th birthday?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yes. So we're both the same age. We're born four days apart. And little did we know that by the end of the month our baby were born. I say little did we know because he was actually due in June 2017 and he arrived in April. And it was unexpected. And that's why Sonny in that picture, he's got a little bit of wires and his little CPAP and things helping him medically. But we're beaming because we were just so happy to meet him.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. So how permanent he was?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Two months.

[Dilly Carter]

Two months. That is a lot, isn't it?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yeah. And it's funny because when I look back, my first and my second baby were born quite early, actually. My second was actually a bit more premature than Sunny was. That's Kit, my second. But at the time, I think I was so excited about becoming a parent, it didn't really. I didn't really see it in the same way. Now it's almost a bit more. I wouldn't say shocking, but I see the medical aspect of that birth in a different light.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah, of course.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

But at the time, all I really saw was baby, you know, and actually, not just baby. I remember the first time I laid eyes on Sonny, I thought, oh, I've met a whole person and he just happens to be a baby when we meet. Yeah. And my job is to try and find out who he is and what he needs from me and how I help him be him. Yeah. And because he was early, and I was recovering from something called preeclampsia. We were separated, so I had him. He immediately got put in an incubator and I was taken to recovery myself. And so I was given this photo because I needed to try and help my milk to come in, if that's what I wanted to do, which I did. And so they encouraged me to have photographs of my baby to help me get all the hormones doing what they needed to do so that I could feed him and get the milk ready for him. And as it happens, if they're born before 34 weeks, there's no sucking reflex.

[Dilly Carter]

Right.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

So the milk would be fed to him in the tube. But it was something I could do that the doctors couldn't provide. So I felt very focused on that role and I gave lots of time to it. So at the time, that Polaroid wasn't just a picture, it was also a way to bond and connect with my new baby when I couldn't physically be in the room with him and I couldn't hold him. So I think it probably took on extra. Yeah, extra weight as a photo.

[Dilly Carter]

I mean, what's so lovely is that it is a photo, rather than it being just a picture on a phone. It's so lovely when you see those instant pictures, isn't it? There's something so nostalgic about those photos.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Definitely.

[Dilly Carter]

I mean, was it quite scary being parents at 25 then, because, you know, you were young still?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Well, I think some of it. I look back and Richard and I still find it quite funny, really, because we started dating and we realized we were having a baby when we'd only been going out for six weeks.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

And then because Sonny was born early, we'd actually only been going out for eight months when he was born, so we kind of defied some of the usual chronology. But it's funny, there was so much drama going on. I'd literally just released my second album, so I was. When I was doing my first and second single from my second album, I remember being on Top of the Pops and thinking, I know I'm pregnant, I'm seven weeks and no one else knows. And I was thinking, this is a bit wild, actually. But in amongst all the drama and the fallout and all the different shifts that were going on with my work and my home life and getting to know Richard as my boyfriend, something about having Sunny felt really right.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

And, I mean, Richard only moved in two weeks before Sunny was born.

[Dilly Carter]

Wow.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Again, not knowing it'd be that soon before, but it was like, oh, our baby's coming up a couple of months, we should probably start living together. But my mum right at the beginning said it might not be the right time and it might not be the right man, but it's the right baby. And I think for both of us it gave us permission to look forward to having a baby because we both decided that was something we were happy to do together, but then also try and have our relationship follow a slightly more traditional route. Even though we knew we were having a baby so we'd still go on dates, we would still sort of let things unfold. We just had this sort of slightly, well, it felt to us, comedic element. But yeah, with Sonny, I just couldn't wait to bring him home. I think when he came home. And there's, I think the wobbly bit about the prematurity is firstly it's a very medicalized way to start, start a new family. I remember some people not being sure if they should congratulate us when he was born because obviously it's a bit uncertain. And I would say it was more touch and go with my second Kit was born a week earlier, but he was only two pound six. He was a much smaller baby, he's tiny and he had more issues and he had to go on a ventilator and it was a lot more full on. With Sonny, he did kind of go as expected. So we did bring him home when they'd told us we might hope to have him home.

[Dilly Carter]

I mean, what's it like for them all being different ages? Are they quite close? Are they quite.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I think there's a lot of positives that come out of having a big age range because my nearly 22 year old, the little man in that picture, he, I mean he's. I'm so fortunate. I always say to him, if you hadn't been so great, I wouldn't have had so many more. Cause he just was such a good little first ambassador of what family life could promise. And yeah, he's been a really great big brother to them. And he's especially good for like my 13 year old and him have a really good relationship and go to gigs together and spend a lot of time together. So I think you know what it's like when you're growing up. You know, your parents would listen to you about stuff, but they're not necessarily who you want to speak to all the time. So I've learned to step back and listen in on how they discuss things and you know, sometimes they're acting a bit daft but sometimes they're saying things I think are really wise and I think they listen to each other in a way they wouldn't necessarily with their peers or their parents.

[Dilly Carter]

And tell me, having five boys, how are you with your hand me down?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I've kept everything that I really liked and actually it's gone on again to another person. So my sister Martha had my niece Alba, who's coming up to her first birthday. So, yeah, I'm absolutely all for keeping it rolling. And we've got a cardigan in the family that's gone down through my brother, my sister, all five of mine, and now is worn by Alba. So that's. Yeah, on its. What's that? It's eighth baby.

[Dilly Carter]

A little tip. Cause so many people have hand me downs. So when you are stalling hand me downs, the most important thing is so that you can give them to your. The rest of your family is storing them in their age range rather than just having one big box of hand me downs is going. Right. This is naught to six months, 6 to 12, 12 to 1, 1 to 2. And it might seem tedious at the time, but it makes so much more sense because then if you do have a friend that needs something, then you can go, okay, what age are they? Oh, well, at the moment they're into 6 to 12. You can go and look at that. But also what that means is you're not rifling through piles of clothes just to find six to 12 months. One to two, two to three, definitely. So whenever you do store things in the loft, everybody make sure that you are categorising them in as smaller items as possible. Where is your photo stored? Do you have it somewhere special?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I have that just on my dresser in the sitting room, actually. It's on the dresser in the sitting room, yeah. We've got quite a few photos up there. Propola always, always make me a little bit nervous because obviously there isn't a copy. And I suppose with something in a frame, you know that there'll be a. Well, in the olden days, a negative of it. And now it'd be a digital version of it. But I think that one that's.

[Dilly Carter]

It's one of one.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

It is one of one. But I've got photos next to it. I've got one of my mum and dad on their wedding day. Oh, I love that. Which, Yeah, I mean, they. Which I wonder if that's a bit odd because they actually separated when I was four. They both remarried. I mean, they haven't been a couple since, yeah, I was four years old. But I've just quite liked the sweet innocence of this little moment. And you've got to be at peace, haven't you, with all these chapters?

[Dilly Carter]

Absolutely.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I think they made absolutely the right decision not to stay together. But at least I know that I the product of a once happy union.

[Dilly Carter]

You know, I work as, you know, with all sorts of different families and you know, we've touched on this many times in sort your life out. When people have gone through divorce and they're like, what do I do with my wedding dress? What do I do with photos? What do I do with these items? And I'm always encouraging people to keep the most sentimental items, even if they're pictures, if they're wedding dresses. Because like you, it doesn't have to be a negative. Sometimes years later you might look at that picture and think, you know what? Actually at one time they were really happy. And look it, I'm here because of that. So don't just always be too quick to let go of things.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Agreed. You don't win any prizes for getting rid of something you later want.

[Dilly Carter]

No, you don't. Shall we have a look at your third book?

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[Dilly Carter]

Okay, so in this large box is a navy blue. It looks like a jumper. Is it a T shirt? No. So it's a T shirt and the T shirt says, if you can't do it when you're young, when can you do it? And at the bottom it says the audience and it is written in bright orange.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

So the Audience was my first band, and I started singing in this band when I was 16.

[Dilly Carter]

Okay.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

So this T shirt would have. It's a song from our first album. Our only album, as it turned out. Yeah. So we are going back to 9790 with that. Oh, my word. That's such a long time ago. And I'm saying it out loud. And I brought it along because I always liked to give flowers to where it all started. Because it was such a significant moment for me. Because when I was. If you'd met me at 15, I would have given a really different answer to what I wanted to do than I did at 16. Because at 15, I thought, oh, maybe I wanna. Maybe I wanna act. Maybe I wanna be a lawyer. Cause I liked arguing. But then when I was 16, I started going clubbing. I was a massive Brit pop fan. I love music so, so much. And as soon as I met someone through going clubbing that said, oh, I've got a friend that's looking for a singer in a band. And I can remember thinking, well, that'll be a good thing to tell my grandchildren. I did once that I was in a band.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

And honestly, I can remember standing on stage and singing these songs that he'd written and thinking, I found the thing I'm looking for. And everything else just completely fell away. And I never had a plan B since then. And I think it's quite funny, I went into the box where I had to. As soon as I knew I was gonna speak to you about items, I thought, oh, I'd like to bring one of the bit of merch for my band. I think it's quite apt that it's this one, because the song title. We had a lot of very long song titles.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

So this song was called if youf Can't Do it when youn're Young, when can youn Do It? That was his full title. But obviously it was a rhetorical question. And the answer is when you're older. But I think at the time I felt like, oh, maybe it is about. About being young. Because so much of. And music in general, but certainly Brit pop movement was all about youth culture and where it was focused. But actually there's a whole life to be lived beyond that. And so it's been a delight that I do know the answer now. And it is. Yeah, when you're not old, young anymore, you can be. When you're old, you can.

[Dilly Carter]

You can do it.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

You can do it.

[Dilly Carter]

And I think life is not over no more.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

There's way more Adventures waiting for you and it's so fun when you know yourself as well. Yeah. And also, even the. Our success and our failure within that band taught me so equipped me so that when that band split up, I thought I was high and dry. I thought, that is my success as a singer done. I'm 20 years old, all my friends went to uni. I've screwed up already, and I'm gonna be for the rest of my life. Someone's like, oh, I used to be in a band and everything like that. We've heard this story.

[Dilly Carter]

And then groove Jet.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yes. So I had no idea I'd be lucky enough to get a second. Thank you.

[Dilly Carter]

Yes.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I didn't know I'd be lucky enough to get an opportunity to keep. That's the song that changed my life, actually. And I really am still so appreciative, and I still sing it so happy. I mean, it's 26 years old this summer. But I don't think the significance of what the song did for me or how it made me feel would be shifted if nobody else felt like that. But it's so wonderful that has got. It's grown into other people's lives as well.

[Dilly Carter]

And then, of course, the resurgence of Murder, of Murder on the Dance Floor from Saltburn. When that email came into your inbox, were you like, oh, yeah, okay, maybe, or shall I do it, shan't I? Or yeah, no, no, I said yester.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I'm quite instinctive like that. And I was really flattered. So I just wrote back straight away, yeah, sure, I'm in. And I remember thinking, oh, Emerald Fennell. I've heard of her. I've seen her last film, Promising Young Woman. I thought it was very stylish. I thought it was very cool. I'm very flattered that she wants to use Murder. But I was also a bit pinch of salt with it because sometimes people might ask permission and then they're in the process of editing and they might decide that where they wanted to place it or how they wanted to use it, it doesn't actually make sense. So I was like, ah, that's. Did not think about it. A year later, there starts to be this bubbling about the soundtrack and about the film and the song in the film. It's a good example of something I've always believed to be true, which is that whatever you do in your working life, I think you have to love it for the smallest version of it and don't do anything thinking, I will only love this decision if it pays dividends. So true, because it doesn't work. And secondly, I think. I think if you can make decisions in good faith at the time, you will not lose your joy of why you did it and you will trust yourself in that moment.

[Dilly Carter]

Well, you've been doing it the right way for 25 years, so that's a huge testament to you.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Thanks. It's led to a never dull and happy, happy work life. I really enjoyed it.

[Dilly Carter]

Do you ever wear this T shirt? I'm not sure.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Well, no, I don't think. I don't think I ever did.

[Dilly Carter]

Just merch.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Well, yeah. And also I think, is it okay to wear your own merch? I suppose if I was gonna do any of it, that one at least doesn't have my face on it, on my name. Actually, I was at a festival in Tasmania earlier this year and we were playing our first ever show there and I saw a woman had bought one. The perimenopop one had like a sort of photo booth. Yes.

[Dilly Carter]

Yep. I've got the record, of course.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Yes, you have, yes. And I thought, oh, cool, she's bought so much. So I kind of went over it and I went, thank you. It looks really good. Thank you. She looked at me, really. I don't think she'd. I think she just thought, that's quite a cute T shirt.

[Dilly Carter]

I don't think she had no idea

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

about what she was. What she was signposting to me. It was really funny.

[Dilly Carter]

I was like, okay, well, do you know what? I've got to tell you a funny story actually. I was sat in a cafe the other day with a friend having a coffee. And we were sat there just chatting and this elderly lady was sat next to us and we're just talking about interiors, about the house, about why it's so important to organize and declutter. And this lady goes, oh my gosh. You know, some of my friends houses I go to, they're so messy. And I just don't understand how people live like that. And she said, have you heard? Have you seen this show that's on TV recently? And so I'm sat there and I'm in a baseball cap. And I was like, no. And she's like, well, there's this show on the TV at the moment and it's about, you know, people organizing their houses and decluttering. And she said, you know, it's just unbelievable, all this stuff she said. I mean, to be honest, there's only one good person on the show and that's this guy, the carpenter. I don't know about the rest of them. And I was like sinking into my dream. And she said, actually. And then the more she started talking, she said, actually, there's a girl on there on the show and she looks a bit like you. And I said, it is me. And she went, oh. Oh, well, it's a great show. When's the next series coming out?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I've got a worse one for you, so don't worry. It didn't happen to me. It happened to my mom and someone came up to her once and went, my husband just said, you look like Janet Ellis off the telly. That's not much of a compliment, is it? Oh, no. So don't worry. I. I think it's. Sometimes it's gonna be the good stuff and sometimes it's gonna be really.

[Dilly Carter]

That is life.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I will keep my chin held high. Thank you so much. Thank you very much for your lovely comments.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. Thank you for sharing. This has been absolutely lovely. So thank you for bringing in those items because they've all been amazing and they've all told such incredible stories. So if you had to, which would you sell, donate or create?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Well, I would keep the photo.

[Dilly Carter]

Keep the photo, which is, of course,

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

probably for the best. I don't know if anyone else would know. Appreciate it, like, I would. I would sell Blythe cover her ears, but there are more of her out there.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

And also I know she'd fetch me quite a good price.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

And the T shirt I will donate because someone out there might enjoy wearing it. And seeing as I'm not the most

[Dilly Carter]

a Sophia Lisbexter fan, you might love that piece of memorabilia as just someone

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

who doesn't just quite like the quotes.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. My last question to you, where in your home is your happy place?

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Everywhere. I love being home. It's my absolute favourite.

[Dilly Carter]

Everywhere.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

So as soon as I'm inside the front door.

[Dilly Carter]

I love that. That's been the first time anyone said that.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Really.

[Dilly Carter]

Yeah. Everywhere, which is the best thing ever. So, Sophie, thank you so much. It's been so lovely to sit with you.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

Same here.

[Dilly Carter]

I can't wait to be back with you. For more revealing home truths, organizational hacks and celeb unboxings sort your life out. Unpacked is presented by me, Dilly Carter. You can watch us on iplayer and listen on BBC Sounds and don't forget to subscribe on BBC Sounds and have push notifications turned on to make sure you don't miss an episode.

[Sean Farrington]

Why do some brilliant business ideas come a cropper? I'm Sean Farrington. And in a new series of Toast, I'll be looking at five more brands, businesses and wonder products which offered a lot but didn't stick around, including a budget cinema selling tickets for 20 pence and the toilet paper we knew from school.

[Sophie Ellis-Bextor]

I remember worrying about getting paper cuts and an area that you wouldn't wish to be guessing a paper cut.

[Sean Farrington]

Finding out what we can learn from their disappearance. Toast from BBC Radio 4. Listen. First on BBC Sounds.