Podcast
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Hosted by John Brandon, Jim Banks, Matthew Van Zandt, Vanessa · EN
Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.
14episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 5: I Saw Some Locking, But Not A Lot of Popping
5d ago02:14:48Tap to summarizeBanishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 5: I Saw Some Locking, But Not A Lot of Popping Square Roots - Episode 513 Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:04:15 Quest Log: 0:32:58 Level Up: 1:40:50 This time on Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden, we pause before the final confrontation to solve some folks's spooky problems. Also: Also: • I Never Saw Gold Kill A Werewolf • Xcellent Branding of Xbox • Join the Saturn Tier • Girls Are Doinkin' It To Thor • Goody 5000 This Week: Wrap Up All The Ghost Stories! Next Week: Finish Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
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Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 4: The Hurricane's Made of Problems
2w ago02:29:45Tap to summarizeBanishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 4: The Hurricane's Made of Problems Square Roots - Episode 512 Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:09:05 Quest Log: 0:41:10 Level Up: 1:51:50 Even with Matt gone, we somehow went two and a half hours this chunker. Mostly so Vanessa can tell us about her feelings on Alan Wake II. But we're also talking a lot about Banishers! There's some spooky ghost stories, a mine stuffed with a giant Anima from Final Fantasy X, and so much more! Also: • Half Adventure Game, Half Witcher III • A Crop Top Space Suit Is Not A Great Idea • It's Not An Assumption, It's A Hypothesis • Ghosts Don't Count • Fort Bad Performance This Week: Go Up To Fort Jericho And Do The Stuff There Next Week: Wrap Up All The Ghost Stories Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
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Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 3: Bubsy Says Kid Power!
3w ago01:40:37Tap to summarizeBanishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 3: Bubsy Says Kid Power! Square Roots - Episode 511 Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:03:05 Quest Log: 0:26:32 Level Up: 1:20:25 I promise I only make an Umjammer Lammy joke one time in this episode, and I think that's called restraint. But in this chunker of Dontnod's Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden we meet the amazingly named flopper haired boy Lamentation Haskell, and yes, he's a Vanessa boyfriend. Also: • Don't Respect Grogu • I'm Not Into The Benjamin Franklin Type • Hot RFK Junior Burns • Every Game Has To Have An Area That Sucks • A Lady That Looks Like Sonya Blade This Week: Complete Witchfinders, The Inkwell and Grief & Rancor Next Week: Go Up To Fort Jericho And Do The Stuff There Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
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Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 2: Red Is A Great Marksman
4w ago02:07:47Tap to summarizeBanishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 2: Red Is A Great Marksman Square Roots - Episode 510 Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:04:46 Quest Log: 0:21:40 Level Up: 1:42:20 We're continuing to bust some ghosts, but also power up some ghosts, in this chunker of Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden. We get to meet so many interesting and fun new people, and maybe baby bird out their life juices, or send their ghost bully to heaven. And there's Sissy Spacek! Except it's not. Also: • Johnnies Be Workin' • You Can Play Legend of Dragoon On Your Normal Big Boy System • Does the hit still hit if you miss the button time?? • Touching Cheek Means Gay • Some Good Trekking This Week: The End of the Swamp Witch Chapter and Go to the Harrows Next Week: Complete Witchfinders, The Inkwell and Grief & Rancor Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
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Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 1: In 2030, Mickey Could Definitely Shoot You
Apr 2002:33:13Tap to summarizeBanishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 1: In 2030, Mickey Could Definitely Shoot You Square Roots - Episode 509 Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:03:00 Quest Log: 0:23:15 Level Up: 2:06:45 Get ready to get back to pilgrim times in a Magical 1695! But! But! With ghosts! This week on Square Roots, we start Don'tnod's sleeper hit Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden, and get deep into this world of witchcraft, ghostery, and the split between the worlds of the living and the dead. Also: • Matt Says These People Are Disgusting • Vanessa Tries to Set Up Matthew With Thick Skin • PARRY THE PLATAPUS?! • And Featuring Jonathan Brandis as Link • Bowls of Delicious Frosting This Week: We reach the Hunter's Camp in Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Next Week: The End of the Swamp Witch Chapter (Go to the Harrows) Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
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The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 4 - Egg
Apr 1302:02:06Tap to summarizeThe Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 4 - Egg Square Roots - Episode 508 Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:07:29 Quest Log: 0:34:00 Level Up: 2:02:00 Everyone prefers Luigi to Mario, right? We identify with the failure, being the lesser brother. Luigi's greatness is that he's relatable. Mario? Boring. But we're not talking about that Nintendo game, we're talking about Link's Awakening, and it's time to wake up! Dress up in your best Mr. B Natural gear, and get ready! Also: • Close Enough to Baby Bird Style • Hot Sandwich Corner • Does Lava Look Delicious? • Goombas Keep Falling On My Head • Whales Don't Have Wings This Week: We finish the game! Next Week: We reach the Hunter's Camp in Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
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The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 3 - Would Will Wright or Sid Meier Win In A Fight?
Apr 602:00:34Tap to summarizeThe Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 3 - Would Will Wright or Sid Meier Win In A Fight? Square Roots - Episode 507 Hot Gaming Goose: 0:07:29 Quest Log: 0:29:54 Level Up: 1:36:45 It turns out that we have the fanciest podcast host in all of podcastdom, as Jim eats his ring pops with a knife and fork. The rest of us, we drool over our fingers as we're supposed to. Also we play the penultimate chunker of Nintendo's Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening. Also: • Shillbilly Smellegy • The Best Kids Movies • DX Stands for Dicks • Frog Jump, Frog Tongue • Noods Aren't Pasta This Week: Complete the Face Shrine and Eagle's Tower! Next Week: We finish the game! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
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The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 2 - Designated Spider Holes
Mar 3002:36:51Tap to summarizeThe Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 2 - Designated Spider Holes Square Roots - Episode 506 Hot Gaming Goose: 0:06:20 Quest Log: 0:34:20 Level Up: 1:56:50 No animal crackers in my soup, no lions and tigers loop-de-loop in this thorough anti Best of Shirley Temple episode of the Square Roots podcast. Things get aquatic as we play the Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening, and do both the Catfish Maw and Angler's Temple, as well as finding a home for a ghost and listening to Marin telling us about seagulls. Also: • 99 Zoblems • A Sex Dream Nightmare • That's the Ooze of Life, My Friends • Let's Call It a Fern • Les Ananas Ne Volent Pas This Week: We complete Catfish's Maw dungeon! Next Week: Complete the Face Shrine and Eagle's Tower! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
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The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 1 - PS3 Twink and PS3 Bear
Mar 2302:39:22Tap to summarizeThe Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 1 - PS3 Twink and PS3 Bear Square Roots - Episode 505 Hot Gaming Goose: 0:03:30 Quest Log: 0:39:00 Level Up: 2:17:15 Starting off our year of All Bangers No Wangers for real, we've got Link's Awakening! It's a vote winner, as chosen by our audience, and we're all getting into Nintendo's classic adventure. Just don't listen to certain hosts when they say the Gameboy is for babies. Also: • Worm him! • Matt is obsessed with the colour dungeon • A Bigger, Hotter Pig Man • Grandma Yahoo Is Down to Clown • Pot Mogged This Week: We complete the Key Cavern in The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening! (Your choice on version!) Next Week: We complete Catfish's Maw dungeon! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
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Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 8 - Scoopin' 'Em Up Like Caviar
Mar 1602:14:08Tap to summarizeMass Effect: Andromeda Part 8 - Scoopin' 'Em Up Like Caviar Square Roots - Episode 504 Hot Gaming Goose: 0:02:44 Quest Log: 0:26:22 Level Up: 1:55:10 You know, it's not usually Vanessa who says the drink-spitting-out most vile thing you've heard on the podcast, but sometimes it is, and treasure these moments. On this fertile episode of Square Roots Podcast we finish Mass Effect Andromeda, and encounter Vanessa's very favourite thing in video games: a hallway full of people telling you how great you are. Also: • You Can't Just Rush Into Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines 2 • Evil Vanessa Bones Two Space Sluts • His Cool Temu Star Lamp • Go Downtown and Eat It Like A Vulture This Week: We finish the game AND Liam's Special Quest! Again! LOAD YOUR SAVE AND PLAY IT AGAIN! Next Week: We complete the Key Cavern in The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening! (Your choice on version!) Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
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