Squiggly Careers Podcast Episode #453: How to Manage Stress at Work

Date: January 21, 2025
Hosts: Sarah Ellis and Helen Tupper
Main Focus: Exploring practical strategies for managing stress at work, inspired by the "Burnout" video book by Emily and Amelia Nagoski (part of a special Video Book Club series in partnership with Lit Video Books).

Episode Overview

In this episode, Sarah and Helen reflect on their key learnings from the "Burnout" video book, which delves into the broader, often systemic causes of burnout—especially among women—while drawing out actionable insights for anyone experiencing stress at work. They discuss memorable concepts, share practical ways to apply the research, and suggest exercises for managing stress in daily work life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Burnout Goes Beyond Work (00:54)

• Summary: The video book isn't limited to workplace burnout but explores systemic factors, with a focus on women's experiences. Listeners interested in direct workplace applications are advised to watch the first chapter and tune into the hosts' discussion.
• Sarah: "If you are more interested in burnout at work, I think you can watch the first chapter and probably listen to our conversations and you'll probably get what you need to apply to kind of your job and your, your kind of day to day work." (00:54)

2. Effective Learning with Video Books (02:05)

• Both hosts discuss ways to maximize learning, such as making simultaneous notes while watching, minimizing distractions, and being intentional about extracting key ideas.
• Helen: “The minute I just sort of relaxed too much and almost like sat back in my chair and just watched it, I got distracted. I was like, oh, I need to just do this, or what about this? ... I find it quite hard to just stick with it." (02:45)
• Tip: Use the three guiding questions: What statement has stuck? What surprised you? What will you put into action? (03:53)

3. The Importance of Meaning to Prevent Burnout (04:23)

• Core Idea: A sense of meaning in your work protects against burnout. "Meaning is something you make," not something to be found.
• Sarah: "You're less likely to burn out if you are connected to something bigger than yourself...when you are feeling more stressed, if you go back to the why, like, why does this matter to me? Often you can find your way through those more kind of stressful moments because it gives you that kind of boost of motivation." (04:23)
• Memorable Quote: Sarah recalls advice from guest Natalie Campbell—

  “Start by letting go of the idea of finding your purpose. It is not in lost property somewhere. It is in your consciousness. So the first step is listen to the moments that bring you the most joy, comfort and ease. This is where the core of your purpose resides." (05:30)

4. The Power of Taking Action: "Do a Thing" (07:18)

• Insight: Taking any action, no matter how small, helps counteract feelings of helplessness (learned helplessness) and moves you out of the stress spiral.
• Helen: "It doesn't have to be the thing that solves the situation. ... Just doing one thing, some little thing that's in your control, ... can be a reaction, a positive reaction to a situation where you feel very out of control. Just do a thing, pretty much anything." (07:18)

5. Spotting Signs of Burnout (09:33)

• Observation: Burnout creeps up subtly—decreased accomplishment, reduced creativity, and inability to think big are all signals.
• Sarah: "If you get burnt out, you get to the point where you have a decreased sense of accomplishment. ... I do notice that all of those behaviors kind of diminish, you know, my ability to zoom out, to think big, to think creatively. You sort of get smaller in sort of every way." (09:33)

6. Completing the Stress Cycle (11:14)

• Theory: The body needs to physically and emotionally discharge the accumulated stress—simply coping is not enough.
• Helen: "If you don't build some way of discharging stress ... your body can't complete the stress cycle. ... Your body basically then holds onto that stress and it can result in health problems." (11:14)
• Practical Tips:
  • Discharging methods: physical exercise, breathing exercises (like four box breathing), tensing and relaxing muscles, "active rest" activities (e.g., knitting, gaming, board games, or table tennis).
  • Recognize that even positive coping doesn't automatically release stress from the body.

7. Active Rest vs. Passive Recovery (12:47 & 16:35)

• Differentiation: "Active rest" involves activities that are engaging and enjoyable, not just passive downtime. It’s essential for fully recovering from stress.
• Sarah: "It did really remind me of just how important it is to find active rest. ... I am just going to go and play table tennis for five minutes or 10 minutes. ... That would be a good release of sort of stress for me." (12:47)
• Reflection: Walking may help, but only counts as active rest if it truly shifts your mental state rather than being used for planning or work prep. (16:35)

8. Identifying Personal Meaning (18:43)

• Action Step: Write down what brings you meaning at work, and ask colleagues or friends what they think brings you meaning to refine your personal purpose statement.
• Helen: “I know what our company's, like, meaning is about kind of making careers better for everybody. But my personal meaning, I think, might be slightly...a little bit more individual. ... You can ask other people. And I could say to you, where do you see me get meaning in my work?” (18:43)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On purpose:

  “Meaning is something you make.” — Hosts referencing the video book (04:23)

• On learned helplessness:

  “Just do a thing, pretty much anything. But doing nothing means that you're stuck in this kind of stress situation.” — Helen (07:18)

• On releasing stress:

  "You've got to disconnect coping with the stress in the moment...you need a separate process which does the releasing." — Sarah (12:47)

• On active rest:

  “I am just going to go and play table tennis for five minutes...That would probably be good for me.” — Sarah (12:47)

• On honing your definition of meaning:

  “You can ask other people. Where do you see me get meaning in my work?” — Helen (18:43)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:54 – Framing the episode: burnout beyond the workplace
• 02:45 – Learning effectively with video books and note-taking
• 03:53 – Setting intentions with three reflection questions
• 04:23 – The importance of meaning in preventing burnout
• 07:18 – “Do a thing”: overcoming learned helplessness
• 09:33 – Spotting and understanding burnout signals
• 11:14 – Completing the stress cycle and the importance of stress release
• 12:47 – Active rest and practical recovery strategies
• 16:35 – Making active rest a regular habit and integrating it into routines
• 18:43 – Pinning down and validating your personal meaning and motivation at work

Takeaways & Next Steps

For Listeners:

• Look beyond traditional coping strategies—focus on completing the stress cycle for genuine recovery.
• Embed meaning into your work to insulate yourself from stress and potential burnout.
• Don’t wait for grand gestures—small, intentional actions can break the cycle of helplessness.
• Explore and commit to active rest as part of your routine.
• Reflect (and ask others) on where you find meaning in your work life—write your own personal statement of meaning.

Upcoming:

• Tomorrow: Sarah’s interview with "Burnout" co-author Amelia Nagoski for a deeper dive.
• Next Week: The final Video Book Club episode featuring Dan Ariely's "Predictably Irrational."