Podcast Summary: Squiggly Careers #473

Episode Title: Why Understanding Your Manager Matters For Career Growth
Hosts: Sarah Ellis and Helen Tupper
Date: April 8, 2025

Overview

This episode of Squiggly Careers explores why taking the time to understand your manager—what makes them tick, what motivates them, and how they like to work—is key to excelling in your own career. Sarah and Helen offer a practical, four-week framework for deep-diving into your manager’s strengths, communication style, priorities, and pressure points. The discussion is filled with relatable humor, examples from their own experiences, and actionable advice on transforming awareness into practical strategies for working better with any manager.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding Your Manager: Why Bother?

• Not Manipulative, Just Smart: The episode opens with Sarah and Helen addressing discomfort around "studying" your manager, assuring listeners that it’s not about manipulation but about empathy and strategic adaptation.

  • Quote (Sarah, 01:04):
    “It starts to feel a bit borderline manipulative and Machiavellian, but we promise it’s not. It’s really just about walking in your manager’s shoes and figuring out what that means for you.”

• Manager Dynamics—Not Best Friends, Not Parent-Child: They stress that understanding your manager isn't about becoming their best friend or falling into a child-like quest for approval. Instead, it’s about being confident and curious at work.

  • Quote (Helen, 02:58):
    “We’re not trying to reinforce a parent-child dynamic. We’re also not trying to say you have to be best friends with your managers in order for this to work.”

2. Why Managers Matter So Much

• Memorable Impact: Both the best and worst managers leave lasting impressions.
• Empathy for Managers: Sarah reminds listeners how challenging management roles can be, balancing developing people with their own workload and a multitude of stakeholders.
  • Quote (Sarah, 04:04):
    “Managing is a tough job... The asks on managers are wide ranging and long and can feel really overwhelming. I think this will not only help you, I think it will help your manager too.”

3. Four-Week Framework for Understanding Your Manager

Week 1: Be an Anthropologist

• Observe, Don’t Judge: Take a step back and watch your manager’s behaviors, questions, energy highs and lows, and preferences. Make notes without jumping to conclusions.
• Notice Question Types and Energy Fluctuations: Are they detail-oriented or big-picture? Do certain tasks energize or drain them?
  • Quote (Sarah, 07:35):
    “If we think about an anthropologist, their job is to observe, notice, see what’s happening, but almost with a distance.”

Week 2: Play the Detective

• Analyze Communication Data: Examine emails, messages, and other written communications. Using personality profiling tools (even AI or Copilot), get clues to your manager's style.
• Digital Profiling: AI can help provide insight but beware of generic descriptions—look for distinctions between you and your manager.
  • Memorable Moment (Helen, 12:27):
    “When I use Copilot, I was like, how useful is this? ... Then I asked, how does my profile differ? ... It just helps you to tease out the differences.”

Week 3: Guess What?

• Priorities and Problems: Without asking, predict your manager’s top three priorities and challenges. Then check your guesses in a one-to-one.
• See Where You Align: A fun, low-stakes way to test your understanding and prompt useful conversations.
  • Quote (Sarah, 15:21):
    “If you do sort of swap shoes with your manager and think what’s going to matter most to them? ... It could sometimes be things that are really different to what matters to you.”

Week 4: Safety in Numbers

• Team-Based Understanding: Run “about me” exercises as a team, such as personal highs and lows or energy audits, making it easier for everyone—including your manager—to share insights in a non-threatening way.
• Build Psychological Safety: These exercises reduce pressure and foster vulnerability, helping everyone understand each other—not just your manager.
  • Quote (Helen, 19:07):
    “You can, I think these team exercises take the pressure away from this being something you’re doing just with your manager... and then, you know, you let everyone learn more at the same time.”

4. Turning Insight Into Action

• Adapting Communication: Use what you’ve learned to frame conversations, updates, or presentations in ways that resonate—while staying authentic.

  • Memorable Application (Sarah, 22:20):
    “If you’ve got something to run by me, ... you could say to me, 'I’ve got some ideas to run by you,' and we’re having exactly the same conversation. But I’m much more energized by ideas.”

• Reflecting Patterns: Tailor the level of detail, structure, or delivery to match your manager’s preferences, increasing your chances of alignment and success.

• Understanding Distance: Recognize if your manager is prone to micromanagement or is hands-off—and flex your approach for better mutual understanding.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sarah, on empathy for managers (04:04):
  “Managing is a tough job... The asks on managers are wide ranging and long and can feel really overwhelming.”

• Helen, on profiling using AI (12:03):
  “Sarah prefers clear, concise, direct communication. That’s true.”

• Sarah, on adapting communication (22:20):
  “You could say to me, I’ve got some ideas to run by you... But I’m much more energized and interested in ideas.”

• Helen, on team exercises (19:07):
  “Team exercises take the pressure away from this being something you’re doing just with your manager... you let everyone learn more at the same time.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:04 – The real reason for understanding your manager (not manipulation)
• 04:04 – Why managers need empathy; their balancing act
• 06:31 – Introduction of the four-week “deep dive” approach
• 07:35 – Week 1: Observing like an anthropologist
• 10:18 – Week 2: Profiling communication styles
• 15:21 – Week 3: Guessing your manager’s priorities and problems
• 17:43 – Team approach for shared alignment
• 19:07 – Week 4: Team-based insight exercises
• 22:13 – Turning insights into practical actions
• 24:54 – Understanding manager “sliders”: distance, detail, and energy

Final Thoughts

Sarah and Helen wrap up by inviting listeners to try out the four-week challenge, reflect on their experiences, and even share feedback—lightheartedly acknowledging the possibility of managers realizing their teams are “studying” them.

All the tools and coaching questions referenced are linked in the episode’s PodSheet and available via the Squiggly Careers in Action newsletter.

This episode underscores that understanding your manager is a powerful, career-enhancing act of curiosity and empathy—not manipulation—and lays out a playful, practical roadmap for anyone ready to give it a try.