Squiggly Careers Podcast #476: Ask the Expert – Self-Awareness with Dr. Tasha Eurich

Released: April 22, 2025 | Host: Helen Tupper (Amazing If) | Guest: Dr. Tasha Eurich

Episode Overview

In this episode, Helen Tupper interviews organizational psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Tasha Eurich about self-awareness, resilience, and her latest book, Shatterproof. The conversation centers on why traditional resilience might not be enough for today’s “squiggly” career journeys and introduces Eurich's actionable "Shatterproof" framework. The episode is rich with practical tools for self-reflection, tackling adversity, and building a mindset that transforms challenge into growth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

What Is Self-Awareness and Why Does It Matter?

(03:05–07:38)

• Dr. Eurich elaborates on a decade of research that highlights two distinct types of self-awareness:
  • Internal Self-Awareness: Understanding one’s values, motivations, preferences, and patterns.
  • External Self-Awareness: Understanding how others perceive us—“reading the room,” seeking feedback, and understanding our impact.
• These two types are independent skills. Many people excel at one and neglect the other.
• Having both is crucial: “To be self aware, you’ve got to know both camera angles.” (Dr. Tasha Eurich, 05:10)
• Self-awareness isn’t just academic—it can be actively developed for actionable career benefit.

Quote:
“Self awareness is the will and skill to understand who we are and how other people see us… These two types of self-awareness were completely independent.”
— Dr. Tasha Eurich, (04:23)

The Limits of Resilience and the "Resilience Ceiling"

(07:38–13:32)

• Eurich shares her journey of researching resilience, discovering that not everyone actually “bounces back” after adversity—some people grow stronger, while others become diminished.
• The research revealed a surprising result: resilience isn’t what enables post-traumatic growth.
• Everyone has a “resilience ceiling”—a limit to how long and how much we can simply tough it out.

Quote:
“What we discovered was that there was no relationship between that third group’s resilience and whether or not they were getting better and stronger after crisis… We ask resilience to do things for us that it wasn’t designed to do.”
— Dr. Tasha Eurich, (11:35)

• Helen reflects that acknowledging this resilience ceiling is strangely comforting; realizing that endless “grit” isn’t always the solution.

Grit Gaslighting and the Need for a New Approach

(13:32–15:37)

• “Grit gaslighting” describes the phenomenon where individuals or organizations push people to “just keep going” despite reaching their capacity.
• This well-intentioned but harmful encouragement can lead to guilt, shame, and frustration when resilience strategies no longer work.

Quote:
“For high achieving people with big goals…I was gaslighting myself. I was questioning my ability to cope… There’s nothing wrong with us for hitting our resilience ceiling.”
— Dr. Tasha Eurich, (14:07)

• This insight reframes the narrative: hitting our limit is human, not a personal failure.

The Shatterproof Framework: Moving Beyond Resilience

(16:20–33:40)

Overview

• “Becoming Shatterproof” is a complementary skillset—transforming adversity into an opportunity for growth, not just survival.
• The Shatterproof roadmap consists of four practical steps:
  1. Probe Your Pain (16:20–20:07)
  2. Trace Your Triggers (20:07–24:14)
  3. Spot Your Shadows (24:21–27:56)
  4. Pick Your Pivots (27:56–31:54)

Step 1: Probe Your Pain

(16:20–20:07)

• Pain—emotional or physical—is a signal to pay attention, not an indication of failure.
• “Befriending your pain”: approach your discomfort as you would a new acquaintance, asking:
  • How long have these feelings been present?
  • What’s their impact on me?
  • Is this their first visit, or is it a recurring theme?

Quote:
"Pain isn’t a personal failure. It’s actually a power source. It’s a signal to pay attention."
— Dr. Tasha Eurich, (17:33)

Step 2: Trace Your Triggers

(20:07–24:14)

• Now turn outward: what environmental factors are triggering your reaction?
• Applies Self-Determination Theory, which identifies three basic psychological needs:
  1. Confidence: Are you doing well and improving?
  2. Choice: Do you feel agency and authenticity?
  3. Connecting: Do you feel a sense of belonging and mutual support?

Quote:
“There’s 50 years of evidence…three hardwired needs that, if they’re met, we are the best version of ourselves—and if not met, we are the worst.”
— Dr. Tasha Eurich, (21:47)

Step 3: Spot Your Shadows

(24:21–27:56)

• When our needs are frustrated, we may chase poor substitutes (e.g., seeking online fame instead of real connection).
• Simple but vital “shadow-seeking” question:
  • “How is my current behavior different from when I’m at my best?”
• Self-forgiveness is crucial as you notice these behaviors.

Quote:
“Forgive the person that you were who did that… Every breath you take, you’re a new person.”
— Tasha Eurich, quoting Marshall Goldsmith, (27:07)

Step 4: Pick Your Pivots

(27:56–31:54)

• Choose actions—within the constraints of your environment—that authentically fulfill your needs.
• “Need crafting”: proactively shaping your environment to support your needs rather than waiting for it to change.
• Examples:
  • For connection: reach out to a friend from the past, deepen current relationships, or offer support to others for mutual benefit.
  • For autonomy: adjust your routines or seek new challenges.

Quote:
“We are not just passive recipients of our environment… We possess the power to transcend the limitations…and proactively shape our own needs.”
— Dr. Tasha Eurich, (28:54)

Practical Tips & Closing Reflections

(31:54–33:40)

• Mutual support is optimal: giving and receiving support deepens connection.
• Eurich offers a metaphor and a practical tool:
  • Quote/Metaphor:
    “When the winds of change rage, some people build shelters and other people build windmills. Am I going to build a shelter, or am I going to build a windmill?”
    — Dr. Tasha Eurich, (32:20)
  • Take the free “resilience ceiling” quiz (resilience-quiz.com) for personalized feedback.

Quote:
“Ask yourself, am I going to build a shelter or am I going to build a windmill?... I can either use this as a force to retreat or…to propel myself forward.”
— Dr. Tasha Eurich, (32:25)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Self awareness is the will and skill to understand who we are and how other people see us.” (04:23)
• “We ask resilience to do things for us that it wasn’t designed to do.” (11:37)
• “Grit gaslighting is questioning my ability to cope.” (14:07)
• “Forgive the person that you were who did that… Every breath you take, you’re a new person.” (27:07)
• “Am I going to build a shelter or a windmill?” (32:25)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:05 – The two types of self-awareness defined
• 07:38 – Revisiting the concept of resilience and the emerging research findings
• 13:32 – “Grit gaslighting” and its risks
• 16:20 – Step 1 of the Shatterproof roadmap: Probe your pain
• 20:07 – Step 2: Trace your triggers and three core needs
• 24:21 – Step 3: Spot your shadows, the self-reflection tool
• 27:56 – Step 4: Pick your pivots; need crafting in practice
• 32:20 – “Build a windmill” metaphor and the resilience ceiling quiz resource

Episode Takeaways

• Self-awareness means mastering both the internal and external perspectives.
• Resilience has its limits; everyone eventually hits a ceiling, and that’s normal.
• Becoming Shatterproof is about harnessing adversity for growth using a four-step framework: probe, trace, spot, and pivot.
• Language matters: Terms like “resilience ceiling” and “grit gaslighting” help articulate new truths about struggle and growth.
• Mutual connection, self-forgiveness, and intentional action are key to thriving in a squiggly career.

For links, resources, and the resilience quiz, check the episode show notes or the Squiggly Careers POD Sheet.