Squiggly Careers: How to Ask for a Pay Rise (Squiggly Shortcut)

Host: Sarah Ellis
Date: October 9, 2025

Episode Overview

In this focused “Squiggly Shortcut” episode, Sarah Ellis dives into the often daunting subject of asking for a pay rise. Drawing from both personal experience and manager perspective, she breaks down actionable steps anyone can take to approach pay discussions with confidence. The episode is packed with practical tips, real-world advice, and thoughtful encouragement to help listeners navigate this tricky but essential career moment.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Emotional Reality of Asking for a Pay Rise

• It's Normal to Feel Uncomfortable:
  Sarah kicks off by acknowledging that virtually everyone finds the pay rise conversation nerve-wracking. Feeling anxiety is not a sign you're doing it wrong—it's actually a sign you're taking it seriously.
  • “It will probably feel a bit anxiety inducing. It will feel difficult, but that doesn’t mean that you’re getting it wrong.” (00:27)

Don’t Wait—Advocate for Yourself

• You Must Take Initiative:
  Sitting back and hoping your hard work is automatically rewarded rarely works. You need to proactively make your case.
  • “Don’t sit there doing a brilliant job and just think…someone else will just automatically realize that I’m as amazing as I am and sort my pay out for me. That, in my experience, very rarely happens.” (00:44)
• Be Your Own Advocate:
  “You have to advocate for yourself and kind of talk about the impact that you’re having. So create, not wait when it comes to your pay.” (00:55)

Three Key Stages for the Conversation

1. Before the Conversation: Understand the Pay Rise Process

• Do Your Homework:
  • Understand your company's official pay rise process—most firms have specific policies and timelines.
  • Find information from HR, a colleague, manager, or someone recently through the process.
  • “Most companies now have quite a specific process that they rarely go outside of to make sure that it is fair and consistent for everyone.” (01:25)
• Transparency is Best, But Not Always Present:
  Not all companies advertise their processes; you may need to ask around.

2. During the Conversation: Focus on Impact and Timing

• Expect Multiple Conversations:
  • The process rarely happens in one meeting; anticipate ongoing discussions over weeks or months.
    • “Let go of [the idea] that it’s going to be one conversation, it’s going to be conversations… Usually it takes at least a couple of conversations, and it usually takes maybe even a couple of months.” (02:26)
• Lead with the Pay Conversation:
  • Don't leave the pay topic for the end; start with it to avoid it feeling rushed.
  • “Steel yourself to start the conversation…open by saying, it’d be really good today if we could talk about pay rise and the pay rise process, because that is something that I’m motivated by and I want to make happen.” (04:13)
• Demonstrate Your Impact (Rule of Three):
  • Prepare three concrete ways you’ve made a significant difference—in your role, team, or company.
  • “Stick to the rule of three—three ways where what you’re doing makes a big difference…to the job you do, the team you’re in, and the company.” (03:14)
  • Sample approach: “Over the past six months…I think there are three things that have really stood out for me. One, two, and three.” (03:36)
• Focus on Outcomes:
  • Discuss results, improvements, and your unique contributions.

3. After the Conversation: Summarize and Follow Up

• Confirm Agreements in Writing:
  • Send a follow-up email with key discussion points, agreed next steps, and any decisions.
  • “If things do get agreed along the way, really helpful to have it in writing. You might feel like you don’t need it. I’ve seen some examples of where people haven’t written things down and they really wish that they had.” (05:12)
• Be Yourself:
  • The summary doesn’t have to be formal; your style is fine as long as the facts are clear.
• Accountability:
  • A short summary email keeps everyone aligned.

What If the Answer is “No”?

• It’s Better to Know:
  • If the company can't accommodate a pay rise, at least you have clarity.
  • “If they can’t give you a pay rise and…that’s an option, that’s when you can start looking at maybe other opportunities or thinking about where else you might squiggle to.” (06:12)
• Set a Personal Deadline:
  • Decide how long you’ll wait before considering alternatives if nothing changes.
• Negotiate Trade-Offs:
  • If a pay rise isn’t possible, consider asking for other benefits—reduced hours, new projects, training, or opportunities to join networks.
  • “If it can’t be more money, could it be time? Could you work less? … Could it be training or learning? Could it be to do with communities or networks?” (07:00)
• Keep Primary Focus on Pay:
  • Start with pay, then consider alternatives only if pay is not an option.

Final Encouragements

• Managers Face These Talks Too:
  • Remember you're not alone—pay conversations are part of the manager's life as well.
• Practice Improves Confidence:
  • The more you try these conversations, the easier and less intimidating they become.
  • “The more you practice, the better you will get.” (08:18)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It will probably feel a bit anxiety inducing. It will feel difficult, but that doesn’t mean that you’re getting it wrong.” – Sarah Ellis (00:27)
• “So create, not wait when it comes to your pay.” – Sarah Ellis (00:55)
• “Let go of [the idea] that it’s going to be one conversation…it’s going to be conversations.” – Sarah Ellis (02:26)
• “Stick to the rule of three—three ways where what you’re doing makes a big difference…” – Sarah Ellis (03:14)
• “Steel yourself to start the conversation…open by saying, it'd be really good if we could talk about pay rise and the pay rise process.” – Sarah Ellis (04:13)
• “If it can’t be more money, could it be time? Could it be training or learning?” – Sarah Ellis (07:00)
• “The more you practice, the better you will get.” – Sarah Ellis (08:18)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – 00:44: Introducing the topic and addressing discomfort around pay conversations
• 00:44 – 01:25: Importance of self-advocacy (“create, not wait”)
• 01:25 – 02:26: Understanding company processes and how to prepare
• 02:26 – 03:36: Managing expectations—multiple conversations and focusing on impact
• 03:36 – 04:13: Structuring your case: the “Rule of Three”
• 04:13 – 05:12: Practical tip—start with the pay conversation, don’t leave it to the end
• 05:12 – 06:12: Following up in writing and ensuring clarity/accountability
• 06:12 – 07:00: What if the answer is no and thinking about trade-offs
• 07:00 – 08:18: Negotiating alternatives and maintaining motivation
• 08:18 – End: Final encouragements and summary

Overall Takeaway

This episode is a concise, practical guide for anyone planning to ask for a pay rise. Sarah’s advice covers emotional preparation, strategic planning, execution, and what to do if the conversation doesn’t go as hoped. Listeners are encouraged to be proactive, factual, and persistent—and to always make their impact visible. The rule of three, honest communication, and follow-up are highlighted as essentials for success in squiggly careers.