Squiggly Shortcut: How to Quieten Your Inner Critic - Squiggly Careers

Squiggly Careers Podcast

Episode: Squiggly Shortcut: How to Quieten Your Inner Critic

Date: October 23, 2025
Host: Sarah Ellis

Episode Overview

In this Squiggly Shortcut episode, host Sarah Ellis delves into taming our "confidence gremlins"—the negative beliefs and inner doubts that hold us back in our careers. She shares three practical reframing techniques designed to help listeners challenge these unhelpful thoughts, enabling more confidence, optimism, and growth in the face of career challenges. The episode is actionable and empathetic, offering listeners immediate tools to start silencing their inner critic.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding Confidence Gremlins (01:10)

Sarah defines confidence gremlins as "the beliefs, fears, and doubts that hold us back in our Squiggly career."
Common examples include:
- Fear of failure
- Feelings of inadequacy ("I'm not good enough")
- Fear of being found out
- Comparisons to others
- Being put on the spot (01:20)

2. Three Reframing Techniques

I. Move from "Can't" to "Can" (02:05)

Gremlins thrive on “can’t.” Example: “I can’t have hard conversations.”
Sarah shares her own gremlin: a fear of conflict.
- When we say “I can’t,” “it just feels like there’s a full stop. There’s nothing we can do about it.”
Reframe: Focus on what you can do—even something small.
- Example: “I can ask open, curious questions during a tough conversation.”
Quote:
- "So we're focusing on what we can do rather than what we can't do." (Sarah Ellis, 02:35)

II. Shift from Pessimism to Optimism (03:30)

Gremlins are pessimistic, preferring we stay safe and don’t try new things.
In tough situations, we often blame ourselves: “That meeting was a disaster and that’s all my fault.”
Reframe: Spot one very small success in the moment.
- Acknowledge the challenge, but identify a positive action, e.g., “I asked a good question,” or, “I stayed present and kept listening.”
Quote:
- "We're not trying to be unrealistically positive...just a very small success that's going to remind you that there is some good in every situation." (Sarah Ellis, 04:25)

III. Reframe from Fixed to Flexible (05:10)

Gremlins make us think improvement isn't possible; we get stuck on, “I’m just not good at conflict. I’m a 0 out of 10.”
Reframe: See yourself on a sliding scale (e.g., “I’m a 4 out of 10 at this skill”) and focus on moving up just one notch.
"We're never quite as bad as we think we are because we're all our own worst critics."
Encourages embracing growth, neuroplasticity, and small progress.
Quote:
- "We're not trying to go from 0 to hero. We're just trying to nudge ourselves up that scale a bit, to recognize that we are all a work in progress." (Sarah Ellis, 06:00)

Additional Resources & Notable Mentions

For a deeper dive, Sarah recommends Episode 387: How to Cage Your Confidence Gremlins (07:05).
Free resources on confidence gremlins are available at amazingif.com.
Sarah invites listener feedback to helenandsarah@squigglycareers.com.

Memorable Moments & Quotes

On recognizing the gremlin:
- "Our gremlins like us to stay really comfortable." (Sarah Ellis, 03:43)
On being a work in progress:
- “To know that we're a four, but to believe that it's possible to be a five just by taking some really small actions.” (Sarah Ellis, 06:19)

Timestamps for Important Segments

01:10 – What are confidence gremlins?
02:05 – Reframe 1: “Can't” to “Can”
03:30 – Reframe 2: Pessimism to Optimism
05:10 – Reframe 3: Fixed to Flexible
07:05 – Further resources and closing thoughts

Summary Tone & Takeaways

The episode is practical, supportive, and down-to-earth, reflecting Sarah’s commitment to providing listeners with immediately usable mindset shifts. By reframing negative self-talk, focusing on small wins, and seeing personal growth as incremental, listeners are empowered to take action against their inner critic and pursue their career goals with renewed confidence.

For more ideas, actions, and weekly inspiration, visit amazingif.com and check out their other Squiggly Shortcuts.

Transcript

A (0:00)

Hi, it's Helen from the Squiggly Careers Podcast. And before you listen to today's episode, I just wanted to let you know about some news that Sarah and I are very excited about, and that is that our new book, Learn Like a Lobster, is ready to pre order now. We really care about everybody learning and growing at work, but we know it is not easy to do, and so we're borrowing some brilliance from lobsters to help you to do it. The book takes three inspiring and surprising abilities of lobsters in terms of how they grow and applies it to how we can learn at work. So if you want some inspiration and you need some practical insights to support your learning, growth and development, this is the book for you. And if you pre order now and send your Pre order to helloearnlikealobster.com you can join the Lobster Library, where we have a community of lobster learners ready for you to learn with some live sessions. And this will all happen before the book arrives. So pre order the book now, send it to hello@learnlikealobster.com and get started with your learning straight away. Now let's get on to today's episode.

B (1:03)

Hello everyone. Sarah here from the Squiggly Careers podcast. This week's Squiggly shortcut is about three reframes that are going to help you to cage your confidence gremlins. We all have confidence gremlins. These are the beliefs, fears, and doubts that hold us back in our Squiggly career. They might sound like a fear of failure, I'm not good enough. Fear of being found out compari being caught on the spot. There are so many to choose from. And so these reframes are how do you keep these gremlins caged so they don't stop you from doing all the things that you want to do in your squiggly career? So the first reframe is how do we move from can't to can our gremlins love a can't? I can't have hard conversations, so that would be one for me. I have conflict as a gremlin, and as soon as we say we can't do something, it just feels like there's a full stop. There's nothing we can do about it. We're sort of accepting that's where we are and there's no change we can make. So rather than saying I can't have hard conversations, the reframe of I can could be, well, I can ask open, curious questions. So when I'm in a Tough conversation. Maybe I'm surprised by some conflict, which means my gremlin sort of comes to life rather than just saying, well, I can't do this because I can't have hard conversations. I. I could just say to myself, oh, but I can ask open, curious questions. So we're focusing on what we can do rather than what we can't do. That's reframe number one. Reframe number two is, how do we move from pessimism to optimism? Gremlins love to be pessimistic. They really like a bit of negativity because it keeps us safe and means that we do things that we've done before and we don't try new things out. So it keeps us too comfortable. Our gremlins like us to stay really comfortable. And so that pessimism might sound like, maybe you've been in a really hard conversation and you say to yourself, well, that meeting was a disaster and that's all my fault. Or, and there's this kind of, I just can't get any better at this. So the narrative that's running through our mind means that we're really down on ourselves. We're usually blaming ourselves. If we want to do a reframe here. From pessimism to optimism, it's about spotting one very small success that you had in that moment. So you're still acknowledging that that meeting was hard. We're not trying to be sort of unrealistically positive. So I might still say to myself, that meeting felt hard or that meeting was hard, but one very small success I had is I did ask a good question or I did raise a difficult point, or I was proud that I stayed present and kept listening throughout the conversation. So anytime you feel like your gremlin is kind of starting to take charge and you're feeling quite negative, you've got that pessim has kicked in. Look for the optimism instead. Not about, like I say, anything that has to be too big, just a very small success that's going to remind you that there is some good. There's some good in every situation. So that's reframe two. Pessimism to optimism. Reframe three is about moving from fixed to flexible. And when we are fixed about our gremlins, we just sort of tell ourselves we're not a work in progress, we're stuck and we're stalling where we are. So if I was thinking about my conflict gremlin, I might just say, well, I'm just not good. I'm not good at conflict. I'm a 0 out of 10 and I can't move up that scale. That's sort of where I am and that's where I'm going to stay if we reframe that into something much more flexible. Firstly, we're never quite as bad as we think we are because we're all our own worst critics. So I might say, okay, I'm a 4 out of 10 in terms of my capability to have more challenging conversations, to kind of disagree really usefully. So I'm a 4 out of 10. But when we are flexible in our thinking, we ask ourselves, well, what's going to get me from a 4 to a 5? We're not trying to go from 0 to hero. We're just trying to nudge ourselves up that scale a bit, to recognize that we are all a work in progress, that we've all got that neuroplasticity in our brains that means we, we can keep learning and growing and getting better. And this is about having, okay, expectations of ourselves. This is not going to be our finest moment because this is already something that we find hard. But what we are trying to be is flexible in our view of our own capability to know that we're a four, but to believe that it's possible to be a five just by taking some really small actions. And if you want to dive deeper into caging those confidence gremlins so that they don't stop us from really enjoying our squiggly careers and doing, doing all the things that we're really capable of, you can listen to Episode 387 of the Squiggly Careers podcast that's all about how to cage your confidence gremlins. And you can also find loads of free resources on Gremlins for us from us on amazingif.com so have a look there too. I hope you found this useful and any feedback you ever have on the Squiggly Career podcast or on these shortcuts, you can email us helenand sarahliggycareers.com Sam.