Podcast Summary: The Power of Mattering: How to Feel Valued and Valuable in Your Career

Podcast: Squiggly Careers
Hosts: Sarah Ellis & Helen Tupper
Date: November 25, 2025
Episode Theme:
Exploring the concept of “mattering” at work—what it means to feel valued and valuable, why it’s important, and how individuals and leaders can foster a sense of significance in their careers and teams.

1. Episode Overview

In this deeply reflective and practical episode, hosts Sarah Ellis and Helen Tupper guide listeners through the idea of “mattering” at work, drawing insights from Zach Mercurio’s book on the subject and supplementing with their own workplace experience. Listeners learn the distinction between “mattering” and “belonging,” why mattering is essential for motivation, wellbeing, and performance, and concrete strategies for increasing mattering for themselves and others.

2. Key Discussion Points & Insights

Defining “Mattering”

• Mattering = Feeling “Valued and Valuable”
  • “Mattering is the experience of feeling significant to those around us... because we feel valued and know that we add value.” (Helen, 03:32)
  • Enhances self-esteem (“I deserve to be here”) and self-efficacy (“I can do this job and do it well”).
• Distinguishing Mattering from Belonging
  • Belonging: Feeling accepted as part of a group or team.
  • Mattering: Feeling that your presence and contributions make a unique difference.
  • Example: “I felt like I was doing a significant job… but I didn’t always feel like I quite belonged…” (Helen, 06:52)

Why Mattering Matters (Research & Stats)

• 42% of UK employees feel undervalued/invisible at work (2025).
  • “That means that four in ten people listening to this podcast episode right now feel invisible at work.” (Helen, 09:15)
  • Feeling invisible saps motivation and engagement.

Reflective Coaching Questions

• When have you had a high mattering moment in your career?
• When have you had a low mattering moment?
• What can you learn from both?
  • Sarah describes transitioning within the same company (Barclays) from a low-mattering to a high-mattering role after a “squiggle and stay” move (10:40–13:25).
  • Helen shares her contrasting experiences at Virgin (high-mattering) vs. Microsoft (low-mattering due to team’s undervaluation in the organization) (14:00–15:53).

The Three Ingredients of Mattering (per Zach Mercurio’s work)

1. Noticed
   • Seeing people as individuals, not just task-doers.
2. Affirmed
   • Being recognized for unique contributions.
3. Needed
   • Feeling that your presence and input are genuinely necessary.

Practical Ideas for Action

1. Noticing (19:08)

• Tactic: Observe and call out changes or patterns in colleagues’ behavior or engagement.
  • “I’ve noticed that meetings with you have felt a bit different this week…” (Sarah, 19:46).
• Phrase to Use: “I’ve noticed that…”
  • Demonstrates you see them as more than just a role or job function.

2. Affirming (23:08)

• Recognition escalates from generic praise to deep affirmation:
  • Level 1: “Great job this week, I know you’ve worked really hard.” (Recognition)
  • Level 2: “Thanks for your hard work on presentations for our partners this week, I thought you showed great initiative…” (Specific, contextual)
  • Level 3: “One of the things that makes you uniquely useful is your ability to anticipate what our partners need before they do…” (Affirmation, 25:00)
    • “Uniquely useful” and “Sarah super strength” as phrases to highlight affirmation (Helen, 25:27).

3. Needed (27:59)

• Beware of accidental undermining: Avoid saying “we’ll be fine without you” to people on leave—it can trigger a sense of being replaceable.
  • Quote cited: “If people feel like they are replaceable, they will act like they are replaceable.” (28:49)
• Alternative approach: “Obviously we’ll really miss you. It makes a difference that you’re not here…” or involve their input before/after their absence (Helen, 29:44).

The Spectrum: Too Little to Too Much Mattering

• On one end: Meaningless (not mattering)—people feel invisible, de-motivated (35:04).
• Middle: Healthy Mattering—optimal performance, wellbeing.
• Other end: Enmeshment—self-worth becomes too entwined with work; risky if circumstances change (Helen & Sarah, 34:36–35:13).

When Mattering Feels Elusive

• If you’re one of the 4 in 10 who feels invisible:
  • Seek strengths-based feedback (“When do you see me at my best?”) (38:14)
  • Ask others what skills or strengths they find most valuable in your work (Sarah, 38:27).

3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Distilling Mattering:
  • “If you want a shortcut to what mattering means: valued and valuable.” —Helen (04:00)
• On Low Mattering:
  • “I didn’t feel very valuable. And that’s probably why I wanted to squiggle and stay.” —Sarah (12:32)
• On Noticing:
  • “Literally just use the statement ‘I’ve noticed that…’ and people feel seen and heard more than if you’re not saying that.” —Helen (22:37)
• On Affirmation:
  • “‘Uniquely useful…’ because this idea of someone feeling affirmed is where they feel like they have made a unique and valuable contribution.” —Helen (25:27)
  • “Remembering most people are their own worst critics… just don’t underestimate the importance of saying it.” —Sarah (27:23)
• On Accidentally Undermining Needed-ness:
  • “That is like a red flag to someone feeling like they are replaceable.” —Helen (28:49)
• Spectrum of Mattering:
  • “You’ve got meaningless, mattering, and enmeshment.” —Helen (35:05)

4. Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:32 | Defining “mattering”—“valued and valuable” | | 05:11 | Mattering vs. belonging—detailed distinction and discussion | | 08:06 | Research: 42% of UK employees feel undervalued/invisible | | 10:40 | Personal mattering highs/lows—Sarah’s experience at Barclays | | 14:00 | Helen’s high/low mattering moments (Virgin and Microsoft examples) | | 17:16 | Ingredients of mattering: Noticing, affirming, needed | | 19:46 | Real example of effective “noticing” | | 23:08 | Levels of affirmation: Praise vs. Recognition vs. True Affirmation | | 27:59 | On being “needed”—the pitfalls of saying “we’ll be fine without you” | | 34:36 | The risks of enmeshment (too much mattering, loss of perspective) | | 36:53 | Recap: Three ingredients to focus on for fostering mattering | | 38:14 | Advice for those not currently feeling they matter |

5. Tone & Language

The hosts use a warm, conversational, and sometimes self-deprecating tone (“It’s either a spectrum or a matrix... that’s just Sarah’s brain”). They mix research-backed insights with personal anecdotes and actionable strategies, making the subject approachable without minimizing its depth.

6. Action Steps (At a Glance)

• For yourself: Reflect on when you have felt valued and valuable and why.
• For colleagues: Use “I’ve noticed that...” to show you genuinely see their efforts.
• For team recognition: Move from generic praise to specific, affirmation-based feedback—highlight what makes someone “uniquely useful.”
• For managers/leaders: Avoid inadvertently making people feel replaceable; instead, acknowledge their specific contributions even in their absence.
• If you lack mattering: Proactively seek strengths-based feedback from peers, mentors, or trusted contacts.

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