Podcast Summary: Squiggly Careers

Episode: Why Bringing Your Authentic Self To Work Is Bad Advice

Hosts: Sarah Ellis & Helen Tupper
Date: October 7, 2025

Overview

In this milestone 500th episode of Squiggly Careers, Sarah Ellis and Helen Tupper deeply examine the much-touted workplace mantra: “bring your authentic self to work.” Drawing inspiration and provocation from Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic’s critical take on workplace authenticity (and his new book), they challenge the wisdom of unfettered authenticity. Instead, the hosts explore how trust, adaptability, and emotional intelligence are crucial for career success, and offer actionable strategies you can deploy to balance your genuine self with what your organization or team truly needs.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Myth of Full Authenticity

• Dr. Chamorro-Premuzic’s work sharply critiques the “cult of authenticity.”

  • Quote: “He’s basically very, very anti this idea of everyone should just be themselves at work.” (Helen, 01:40)

• Hosts discuss why simply being yourself at all times can be counterproductive, even egotistical:

  • Mishandling authenticity can result in friction, diminished empathy, and disconnection with workmates.
  • Full self-expression without context or filter may be “quite egotistical” or “selfish.” (Sarah, 06:39)
  • Being “unfiltered” can get in the way of team objectives.

• Memorable Analogy:

  • The “pilot scenario” underscores how trust matters more than authenticity.
    • “Whether they’re being their authentic self as a person flying the plane, that is less important than trust. Do you trust them to fly the plane?” (Helen, 07:28)

2. Effective vs. Ineffective Authenticity

• Dr. Chamorro-Premuzic proposes “effective authenticity,” defined as:

  “Project(ing) a version of yourself that resonates with others whilst maintaining a semblance of genuineness.” (Helen quoting Tomas, 05:34)

• The “effective” approach is about harmony:

  • A balance between self-expression and social connection.
  • Largely, career success is driven by agreeableness and kindness—not unvarnished authenticity.

• Emotional Intelligence:

  • The ability to adapt your behavior with self-awareness and social awareness is crucial.
  • Teams thrive when members know how to show up situationally, not just “as themselves.” (09:36–09:41)

3. The Dangers of Masking & Over-Adapting

• Going too far in the other direction—wearing a mask, people-pleasing, or neglecting your core values—can be exhausting and unsustainable.
  • “If you’re feeling like I have to be really agreeable, it’s all about other people... that is then really tiring.” (Sarah, 07:51)
• The balance is a tightrope: Adapt, but not to the point of inauthentic self-sacrifice.
• Selective Vulnerability (16:00):
  • Leaders should be “selectively vulnerable”—share authentically, but thoughtfully, and not indiscriminately.

4. Three-Action Framework for Practical Authenticity

Helen and Sarah translate these insights into a three-step actionable strategy:

1. Know What Makes You “You”—at Your Best & Worst

(10:14–14:25)

• Use values as your starting point (e.g., via tools like values.instu or the hosts’ own toolkit).
• For each value, consider:
  • How does it show up at your best?
  • When can it work against you at your worst?
    • Example: “Freedom” can fuel innovation but may also lead to overextension.
    • Example: “Energy” can inspire, or it can unintentionally silence quieter voices.
• Soliciting feedback—from others, or even AI—can raise self-awareness.

2. Understand the Rules of the Team & Organization

(16:20–18:00)

• Contextualize your behaviors and values: What does this team or company really need? When?
  • Achievement, for example, is good—but what does that mean in a people-focused vs. a results-focused organization?
• Know that these needs change over time: Teams may need different things at different stages. (18:13)

3. Be Intentional About Your Flex—“The Coffee Analogy”

(18:41–21:56)

• Authenticity is like coffee:

  • “Most people don’t want pure, unfiltered versions of each other. They want... a bit of extra milk, bit of sugar, kind of soften you up.” (Helen, 19:56)
  • Sometimes your team needs ‘triple espresso’ (your full, unfiltered self); sometimes they need a ‘cortado’ or ‘latte’ (a softer, adapted version).

• Be proactive and intentional with your self-presentation based on what the moment and the team call for.

• Quote:

  “I need to be the person my team needs to be whilst also still feeling true to me. And that is tricky. But I think this sort of awareness, team context, intentional flex, is how you might get to that outcome.” (Helen, 20:56)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the limits of authenticity:

  “If you look at it with a critical lens, you do get to: ‘But what if… What if that isn’t relevant? What if that isn’t helpful to what we’re trying to do?’” (Helen, 07:05)

• On emotional intelligence:

  “People who do this well… are good at understanding others and how you show up in relation to them. I haven’t read something for a while where emotional intelligence has been so front and center.” (Helen, 09:36)

• On values at best vs. worst:

  “Be aware of what makes you you, when that works for you and when that could work against you. And it’s the working against you bit that he’s saying, don’t be 100% authentic or all those things that are going to work against you are going to show up for you at work and get in your way.” (Helen, 13:53)

• On being selectively vulnerable:

  “Leaders… shouldn’t just, you know, when there was like a real trend to be like leaders need to be really vulnerable… You do need to think about what’s useful… Share, but also what’s useful for the people.” (Sarah, 15:25)

• On adaptability:

  “Even the same team can need different things at different times.… My energy might be really appropriate… at other times that level of authenticity is going to be really annoying.” (Helen, 18:00)

Suggested Actions and Reflective Questions

• Use values tools to clarify your personal drivers.
• Regularly check: how do these show up in service or detriment to your team right now?
• Ask yourself: “Who does my team need me to be, and how can I still bring me at my best?” (21:00)
• Keep re-evaluating; being effectively authentic is dynamic, not static.

Timestamps of Key Segments

• 01:10–01:40
  Introduce the critique of authenticity; reference Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic.
• 05:34–07:05
  What is effective authenticity? Harmony vs. friction.
• 07:28–08:59
  Trust versus authenticity; pilot analogy.
• 10:14–14:25
  Action 1: Knowing your best/worst; values exercises.
• 16:20–18:00
  Action 2: Situational awareness—team and organizational needs.
• 18:41–21:56
  Action 3: Intentional flexing; coffee metaphor.
• 21:30–23:23
  The dynamic, ongoing nature of authenticity at work.

Final Tone & Takeaway

The episode maintains Sarah and Helen’s signature warm, honest, and practical style, blending gentle humor, transparency about their own journeys, and clear-eyed advice. Listeners are left with permission—and a toolkit—to question simplistic calls for authenticity and instead cultivate a mutually beneficial, adaptable, and self-aware version of themselves at work.

For more tips, toolkits, and resources, check the show notes or visit Amazing If.