Miles gets caught in the drama at the checkout, while Bob sings the praises of homegrown produce.

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Miles gets caught in the drama at the checkout, while Bob sings the praises of homegrown produce.

Corn Cashier

Bad AI Transcript

Live streaming, Fuse City, Jerry. Bob had sex with Candy here. And why are the M&M’s in his head? In my ear. In my ear. In my ear. Who’s that? Yeah. Drinking my old beer. My root beer. Must be a dream. Dig it. Hi, everyone. It’s me, Martin Riggs, doing the show. Martin Riggs. Martin Riggs. I’m too old for this shit. Yeah, yeah. Miles is in such a good mood tonight. It’s a little bit scary, actually. I think he’s probably close to death or something. He’s going to Mitch McConnell us… soon or something you’ll never know lindsey grammis or sam neill who died recently. Sam Neill. I was sad. I was sad when i saw that. I don’t usually bring in shit like that in the show, but i was generally sad to see uh but the sam neill or the sad part? Sam Neill. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was it was terrible he was he’s like such a a wonderful person. I know. I’m like, oh.
Dr. Grant. I’ll go driving in my recreational vehicle without papers. L.A. Yeah. L.A. Great actor. He was considered for James Bond at one point. You have to let go of the fence, whatever your name was, little shithead. Let go of the fence so you don’t get hurt. Jacob. No, it wasn’t Jacob. What was that kid’s name? That’s the kid’s real name is Jacob, I think. Well, everyone knows that, right? I have no idea. That would be a good question. I don’t either. I have no idea. I don’t remember. I’ll have to look it up, but I’m not going to. This is a no-look-up show. You can’t look anything up. Not looking up, anyone. God forbid. I don’t think Bob looks up to some dresses. I think I’ll continue with a couple more vacation stories if you want to hear them. No, I don’t.
Okay, well then go ahead. What do you have to talk about? No, come on. Go ahead. Come on. So I was thoroughly chastised for the entire… I just got back from vacation a little while ago. I was certainly chastised for the whole vacation by my wife and my daughter and then my in-laws, my brother and mother-in-law. So we are leaving town… to go on vacation. We did a little bit of a road trip. And, uh, as we’re leaving town, my wife is like, I have to do a number two, a work, a work call. I have to call on a conference call for work. Yeah. As we’re leaving town, I can’t get out of it. I have to do it from the car here. And, um,
She’s like, everybody be quiet. And so I’m like, okay. Yeah, no problem. Excuse me. And we get to the corner of town, and I’ve already forgotten. And I look over, and there’s a farm trailer on the corner. Mm-hmm. And this is where every year they come and sell corn and tomatoes. And so I go, hey, the corn stands going to be open. Apparently, I said it very loudly. Oopsies. And so all of her workmates hear me say the coin stand’s going to be open. And she gets so angry with me. So she gives me, you know, she shoots me a dirty look at everything. You’re stupid. I’m like, oh, yeah, I was supposed to be quiet, right? I didn’t say anything dirty. What are you, what are you, chicken chonk? Hey, man. Jesus.
I didn’t say anything like that, you know, this fucker cut me off or anything. I just said, hey, the corn stand’s open. And so the whole vacation, any time I was about to say something, the corn stand’s open? Uh-huh. Every time, I just kept getting it. The corn stand’s open! You know, like an idiot. The corn stand! And so, but… But the reality was when we got back from vacation. Everyone went there. Yes. Everybody went there. My wife’s like, will you run me down to the corn stand? I’m like, son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Honey, would you be a deer? Yeah. If only I were Ike Turner. Anyway. All right. what’s love got to do with it? Corn stand. So, yeah, so we went down and got some corn, and you know what? It was really fucking good. Yeah. It’s the best fucking corn, I swear to God, when that corn stand opens. It’s like, gotta go get some, right? Do you have a corn stand where you live? Yeah, they have some, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So we got corn, we got tomatoes at the corn stand, but it made me so angry because I was made fun of for…
you know, like a week and a half. You’re stupid. Yeah, you’re stupid. You ruined my business meeting saying corn stand. You know, I didn’t curse or anything. There’s a lot worse things you could have said. Yeah, I could have said, yeah, a lot of, a lot worse things. Trust me, if we were, if the driving situation, if it was totally switched and she was driving and I was on a business call, there would have been cursing of everybody around us, you know, the cocksucker cut me off. Son of a bitch. Yes. Yeah. You know what I mean? Cause that’s the way my wife talks. Yes. That is not an understanding. Yeah. Let’s not even exaggerate. I can’t even think of how many dirty things that she would say while driving on vacation that she did say, Oh my God, we got stuck in traffic for construction. It was just constant profanity, which by the way, I have a question for you. Go ahead. So we went,
down south, we went down to uh georgia was our most southern point. We were in Savannah, Georgia. And we went to a lot of places in between. But anyway, why in the south do they wait until summer to do the road construction? It doesn’t get that cold down there. They could do it all year long almost. But they wait until the summer to do the road construction. What’s the deal? Is it like it’s like a union thing or something? I don’t know. You usually know people, so Well, I could probably find out. I know people that work for me. I could find out. I’m like, I could probably find out for you. I was like, we’re down there. We’re sitting in traffic. And I’m like, what the hell? They could do this any time of the year. It’s not like being up north here where you get snow and everything. They get nothing down there. It gets a little chilly. They don’t realize Bob Lamont’s in line and I don’t wait in line.
I waited like a half an hour to get between Tennessee and Kentucky. It was a big to-do. I don’t know what...