Bob goes to see a mansion and then leads a rescue, while Miles ignores the signs and ends up deep in the mud.

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Bob goes to see a mansion and then leads a rescue, while Miles ignores the signs and ends up deep in the mud.

Traveling Guys

Bad AI Transcript

The sound of summer. Hey, everyone. Miles Pytle with Static Radio Podcast. And Super Phlegm. That’s your new nickname. Super Phlegm. He’s Super Phlegm. My esophagus. Now, my, my, why you got so much phlegm in your mouth? It’s not phlegm. He’s super phlegm, super phlegm, he’s super phlegmy. Yeah, wow. Temptations sing. Yeah, exactly. God, he’s so goddamn phlegmy. I feel like I’m smoking weed again. He’s drinking a gallon of milk or something or whatever. Yeah. I was smoking weed again, man. Oh, are you? Okay. No, I feel like it. I feel like it. I mean, everybody does gummies these days, so I don’t know why you’re smoking it. No, I haven’t in a long time. I’m just saying. Oh, okay. so we are a couple of, uh, traveling guys yes we’re traveling traveling guys this is the East. We’re coming to your house we’re gonna party down. We’re the traveling guys. I don’t have that uh song
So, yeah, you went somewhere, and I went somewhere, and normally that never happens. Usually I just go somewhere. True. No, that’s true. I’m not offended. That is true, actually. You normally don’t go anywhere. I try not to. Or you just go down to the Casey’s or something and bother the people. Yeah, as I like to. Yeah, the peoples. So where did you go? I was up by the Wisconsin-Michigan border area. Oh, really? Did you go to the Dells? Well, that wouldn’t really be the border area if you knew cartography, which you don’t. I’m not a cartographer. I guess the Dells is lower. Stupid shit. lower than where you were at. You were higher. Well, they don’t have fucking geography class where the fuck you want. Can you say geography? No, I can’t say if i’m drunk. Uh, I got all this phlegm going on yeah yeah no i have snap up there in the michiganders oh yeah i got yeah i got beamed in the head. Yeah. I was at a cemetery and something hit me in the head. I go, what the fuck?
was this slimy fucking pine cone hit me in the head. This freaking ghost drops us on my, it’s awful as sap or as some people like to call it uh ghost spooge. I’m walking around like cameron diaz from, uh, there’s something about Mary. Yeah, I’m walking around. I’m like, oh, there’s goo in my hair. Oh, my God. Is it bird shit on me again? No. Everyone was hoping it was bird shit. Like, oh, I hope it’s bird shit. I go, I don’t think so. I go, it smells like pine, and it’s really gooey, man. It’s sticky gooey. What’s a squirrel spunk? I don’t know. It just hit me right. Like, literally, I was walking into the cemetery, and it was like, what the hell?
Did you look around? Maybe there was a clue on one of the tombstones. You know? I thought I heard ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. I mean, you know, look for some kind of sign. You know what I mean? No, that was the sign, so much. I knew it. Okay. I think it was a ghostly encounter. I think it was. Spunky pine cone. Yeah, I’ll pull a spunk. I’m like, geez. Really? Then I’m like the whole, I’m obsessing about it like the rest of the day. I’m like, God. Is it in my hair still? Is it in my? Well, it got hard. Did you? It got hard. You’re like, I could, if I rubbed this in certain places, I could be useful to me. The more I rubbed it, the harder it got. You weren’t wearing a hat? You weren’t wearing a bear’s hat? What’s going on? No. Well, I have a lot of hair. I haven’t cut my hair in a long time, so I didn’t think I needed it. Yeah.
You’ve been blessed. I don’t think your dad is really your dad. I’m just saying. Yeah, well, I don’t know. We look an awful lot alike, so I don’t know. He didn’t have any hair. Yeah. That’s all inheritance, though. And he never coughed up as much phlegm, for Christ’s sake. Yeah. He didn’t. I’m sorry, man. Sorry. That’s the way it is. So… You got slimed by a pine cone in the cemetery. What are we doing in the cemetery? What are we looking for? We went to an old ghost town and I go on the map. Really? Yeah, there is. Yeah. It’s an abandoned west. You know what I mean? No, it’s an abandoned like foundry or whatever. Got you. Company town? Yeah, right. It was right on the water. And I go, oh, there’s a cemetery. And my daughter-in-law is like, that is way too far to walk. For a fat guy like you. I’m like, excuse me. Back in the day. I walked everywhere. Then I had to pull my Shelly Winters on her. I pulled out this medallion like, I used to be the swimming champion back in high school.
She said, you can’t do it. You won’t make it. Have you ever heard of a man called Dave Waddle? He was a buddy of mine and he was a walking champion. Yeah. And you know what? That little shit was right. We had to get in the car and go to this place. Damn it. Damn it. No, we had some… Uh, we didn’t actually tell my relatives we were there, so we could actually go sightseeing, you know, so. Oh, gotcha. So you did a little, oh, you mean you didn’t even tell them at all? Uh, no. Well, towards the end of our trip, we did. Oh, okay. So you went, you snuck in and then you go, Hey, we’re here. We have been here for three days. We got it. We got in Friday night and Sunday. I went to church with my mom. I freaked her out. And she’s like, it’s an apparition.
I know she was all freaked out crying. I thought that ghost miles would be much thinner than real. You’d be surprised. You’d be, but, um, we, uh, there’s a lot of waterfalls up there. A lot of them are pretty small, you know? Yeah. And, uh, we were going to go to one of the larger ones. and we, uh, it was a little bit of a car ride. You know, we get there there’s four of us and, uh, there’s like all these people just kind of mulling around the parking lot, just like zombies. I’m like, Hmm, that’s weird. Like, you know, like, I don’t know. Wh...