Miles takes in more of the countryside than he expected, while Bob gets bested by a grandma.

Random show from the last 25+ years

https://youtube.com/live/R0ylJTK3mhg

Miles takes in more of the countryside than he expected, while Bob gets bested by a grandma.

Trip Taker

Bad AI Transcript

Yeah, it’s live streaming. Live streaming is on. That’s right. Oh. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Static Show. This is Bob. Closing time. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. Welcome to Static Radio, man. Glad you stopped by. Have a seat. Closing time. I knew that’d get you all down, you know, memory rough. You’d be like, oh, I love that song. I love it. Birth, school, work, death. I don’t know what I’ve been told. That’s the Godfather’s birth, school, work, death. We were having a bunch of old songs tonight we were listening to, which used to be new songs, but now they’re old songs. Thank you very much. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Time flies. Yeah. Time flies. Well, I’m back in the studio, so CB reported in that there was a problem with the show last week, but… Yeah. Yeah, he told me. Oh, okay. You guys chatted, did you? We had our girl talk. Secret passing notes under the desk, were you? We spilled the tea. But the file seems fine, so I don’t know what happened. I clicked on it. I heard the whole show. I heard the whole goddamn thing. I heard my whole story. He’s not very bright. Yeah, well, I don’t know. I think there was something wrong. Yeah, with him. Can’t figure out what’s going on. He’s a mental patient. He couldn’t figure it out. He’s like mental. We’ll see what happens this week and hopefully it’ll all be fine. He thinks he’s a titmouse. Closing time. My friend CB the titmouse. He’s a titmouse. He’s a little titmouse. Is a titmouse just a tiny mouse? I mean, is there really? You know, I don’t know. You just like saying the word tit. Yeah, I know. It’s funny. If only there was an ass mouse. Yeah. I don’t have many story choices this week, and I’m trying to decide which boring ass story I’m going to tell. Yeah, I know. I’m waiting. I’m like, okay, when is he going to throw out the first pitch, man? Come on. Let’s go, man. Closing time. Oh, Christ. One last call for alcohol. Before you… Give me a whiskey or beer. All right. So I talked about my wife last week, so I’ll talk about the aftermath of what happens when my wife is not around. So as you know, and I know you don’t want to hear about this because you always get all weird when I talk about it. I am trying to better myself, and I have gone swimming. I go swimming, right? I’m glad you swim. Oh, thank you. I thought you were going to get weird again for a minute. No, I’m glad you’re doing something with your life, you know, swimming. Yeah, but now usually my wife and I go together. And she’s out of commission, right? So she can’t go swimming. And so I had to go by myself. So I get up. I go to go swimming. And I’m getting prepared. It’s just a bunch of old people. You know, it’s terrible. Okay, I’m getting really upset with this. And you do lap swims. So I’m swimming laps, right? So there’s these lanes, you know. So… Well, no, that’s what they have. That’s part of the exercise, right? So I get there and there’s four lanes open for lap swim. Three of the lanes are taken. Okay. And there’s one lane open. I come in. Nobody else is there. And I’m getting ready to get in the water. I have some earplugs and stuff that I put in. And I’m standing there, and then this old lady comes in the pool area. And I swear she clocks me, right? What? She looks over at me, and she looks out the pool, and there’s only one lane left. Yeah. And that old bitch jumped right in the pool and took it. Mr. Rogel, I used to be the state swimming champion. Let me do it. Was it Shelly Winter from Poseidon Adventures? Yeah, because she’s probably like 75 years old or something. Reverend, let me do it. She makes a beeline and steals my lane. I was already there. I was just trying to get my earplugs in. Yeah, snooze you lose. Now, most people know the etiquette. You know, when you’re there, Then you get the spot, right? No. Oh, no, granny. Right in the water, right over to my spot. I didn’t see you. Then I had to swim in the non-lane area. I know. It’s not as fun. It’s not as interesting. Yeah. But that’s what happens because my wife, if my wife had been there. Oh, yeah. Well, number one, I take too long. That’s what she always says because I’m always like, you know, piddling around. She would have not stood for it. She would have been like, Mabel. Excuse me? Mabel. Get your ass out of here, you little dyke. Get out of here, you bitch. Yeah, so this is my life now. I just get trodden upon because I don’t have the enforcer with me. With the old people, you know. Bob, quit looking at Dong in the locker room and get out of here already. I’m looking at Dong. Hold on. I was talking to the Iron Man guy. Quit talking to the Iron Man guy. So anyway, that brings me up to 1982, I guess. Yeah, so I get trodden upon now that I don’t have my wife. Oh, you got bullied. bullied by uh an old lady by a grandma yeah yeah great grandma nowadays. Yeah, no kidding. I was just like, holy, I’m like, I can’t believe this because i knew she was going to do it. I was like, uh-oh. But I just can’t, you know. Yeah, so shelly winters beats you into the pool and that’s right yeah here i’m like oh jesus i couldn’t believe it, though, because, I mean, it’s kind of an unwritten rule that you, when the person who’s there gets the spot. Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t swim, so I don’t know. Well, I’m telling you. I just told you. It’s like bowling has etiquette, for instance, right? Yeah, exactly. It’s like bowling. If you are putting your shoes on and sitting in the lane and then somebody runs up and takes the lane, that’s not the way it works. Hey, man. Did you do like your best George McFly? Yeah. Hey, get your damn hands off that lady. I just was like, whatever. I’ll swim in the big open space. Whatever. I don’t. I’m like, but I was like, you know, she knew it. I mean, it was all you could tell in her eyes. She’s shifty. She’s shifty. Grandma. There’s my Barker or something. Yeah. No kidding. Who knows what happened? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that happened to me, and I was like, well, I come home, I tell my wife. She’s like, what? You tell me her name. No, she’s just like, you’re so goddamn slow. Why are you so slow? That’s why you lost it. All of a sudden, she’s like Al Capone in The Untouchables. I want her dead. I want her family dead. I’m going to strangle her with her own swim fins. Yeah. Her floaties are going to go right back. That’s right. I’m going to put floaties on her ankles and stick her in head first. I couldn’t believe the grandma took my spot. I was like, surely. Oh, no, she did. I was just shocked. The world changed. Did y...