#100 - Sam Morril and Rachel Feinstein - Stavvy's World

Summary3 min read

Stavvy's World - Episode #100: Sam Morril and Rachel Feinstein

Release Date: October 28, 2024

Introduction

In the milestone 100th episode of "Stavvy's World," host Stavros Halkias celebrates with special guests Sam Morril and Rachel Feinstein. The episode delves into personal stories, relationship dynamics, and offers comedic yet insightful advice to listeners navigating their own challenges.

Personal Stories and Relationship Dynamics

Early Dating Experiences

Stavros shares his tumultuous journey of moving to New York at 17, detailing his experiences living with bandmates and encountering unreliable relationships. He recounts a specific relationship where his partner, a firefighter, exhibited controlling and destructive behaviors.

Stavros Halkias [02:21]: "I told you I didn't want to be on with him. He brings my Brand down."
Sam Morril [02:30]: "Legit ready that."

Navigating Toxic Relationships

Sam and Rachel discuss the complexities of ending toxic relationships. They emphasize the importance of self-preservation and the challenges of moving on from someone who brought both high highs and devastating lows.

Rachel Feinstein [03:20]: "They were saying, like, with all the baby oil thing for Diddy..."
Sam Morril [04:12]: "I think I know."

Family Influences and Personal Growth

The conversation shifts to family dynamics, with Stavros highlighting his mother's liberal stance and her tendency to side with men, even in problematic situations. This upbringing influenced his approach to relationships and self-worth.

Stavros Halkias [05:54]: "Everything you want. Follow all your dreams. Where there's smoke, there's rape."

Mental Health and Emotional Well-being

Childhood Trauma and Adult Relationships

The trio delves into how childhood experiences shape adult relationships. Stavros shares poignant moments about his father, who left his life early on, and the lingering impact it had on his ability to trust and form healthy connections.

Stavros Halkias [58:05]: "He told me that when he finally confronted his dad or something..."
Rachel Feinstein [60:00]: "It's like abandoning your kids is like eating Atlantic salmon."

Coping Mechanisms and Self-Improvement

Sam Morril discusses his struggles with panic attacks and anger management, emphasizing the importance of personal responsibility in overcoming these challenges. Rachel and Stavros offer their perspectives on maintaining emotional health amidst personal hardships.

Sam Morril [54:12]: "I think you just kind of have to ride it out."
Rachel Feinstein [63:56]: "Chemically imbalanced women are for one night stands, not long term."

Listener Call-Ins and Advice

Navigating Breakups and Moving On

Listeners call in with relationship woes, seeking advice on handling breakups, especially those involving emotionally turbulent partners. Sam and Rachel provide straightforward, often humorous advice on maintaining self-respect and avoiding toxic entanglements.

Sam Morril [66:43]: "It's a rush. Someone this hot and good at fucking you but bad for you."
Rachel Feinstein [64:58]: "It's beyond reasonable for you to be like, where's a condom?"

Dealing with Unconventional Requests in Relationships

A caller shares a peculiar situation where her boyfriend insists on bringing a large chest freezer into her small New York studio apartment. The hosts respond with a blend of humor and practical advice, emphasizing the importance of personal space and setting boundaries.

Sam Morril [85:58]: "This is fucking insane."
Rachel Feinstein [86:08]: "You can't let him. You can't let him do it. It's your apartment."

Final Thoughts and Celebrations

As the episode winds down, Stavros reflects on the podcast's success and expresses gratitude towards his guests and listeners. Sam promotes his new tour and movie, while Rachel shares updates on her upcoming performances. The trio celebrates reaching the 100-episode milestone with humor and camaraderie, reinforcing the show's theme of friendship and mutual support.

Stavros Halkias [127:42]: "I just have so many different feelings about a man."
Sam Morril [130:39]: "Thank you to everyone for listening. Here's to a hundred more!"

Notable Quotes

Sam Morril [66:43]: "It's like you're detoxing off a drug. Any breakup times 10."
Rachel Feinstein [64:58]: "What do you think? This is not."
Stavros Halkias [102:56]: "Be true to you when it comes to having a fat rack."

Conclusion

Episode #100 of "Stavvy's World" masterfully blends humor with heartfelt discussions, offering listeners both laughs and valuable insights into personal growth and relationship management. Sam Morril and Rachel Feinstein bring their unique perspectives, enriching the conversation and celebrating a significant milestone with style.

Disclaimer: This summary is based on the provided transcript and aims to capture the essence of the episode while adhering to content guidelines.

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Transcript1,356 lines

[00:01]
Stavros Halkias
Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronnie Chiang, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.
[00:30]
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[00:35]
Rachel Feinstein
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[00:37]
Eldis
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[00:39]
Rachel Feinstein
Other parts of your life. I chose french fries over loaded french fries.
[00:43]
Stavros Halkias
I asked Stewart from accounting about his weekend. Even though I don't care, I updated.
[00:48]
Sam Morril
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[00:51]
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[00:54]
Sam Morril
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Stavros Halkias
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Rachel Feinstein
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[00:57]
Stavros Halkias
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[00:59]
Sam Morril
See terms and conditions 18 + welcome everybody to episode 100 of Stavi's World. We have an incredible episode with two favorite Sam and Rachel coming up right now. But first I gotta tell you, we are in theaters, baby. Let's start a cult. My movie, I co wrote it, I star in it. Please go see it. If you haven't, we are in a ton of theaters. We should. I think we're in over 100 theaters as of this release of this podcast. We have it here somewhere. Eldis will put it in and post. You get it, please. Right now go to Stavi Biz Movies slash movie. Check and see if it's playing near you. And if it is, please go see the movie. It's under 90 minutes. It's a stupid comedy. Vulgar, dumb jokes. If you love this podcast, if you love what I do, you're going to love the movie. And it would mean a lot if you checked it out. Now please do that. And without further ado, let's start episode 100, baby. Welcome everybody to Stavia's World. 904. 3. What the. Why do you. Why do you. Why don't you have the fucking thing up? 800-904-800STAV it's episode 100. I still don't know the episode 100. I still don't know the number by heart. And which. Which is kind of insane. 100 episodes. Sam was actually. You were episode number one.
[02:22]
Stavros Halkias
I told you I didn't want to be on with him. He brings my Brand down.
[02:25]
Sam Morril
You know what?
[02:26]
Rachel Feinstein
I'm sorry.
[02:27]
Sam Morril
Yeah, you were episode like nine or something.
[02:29]
Stavros Halkias
I talked to my lawyer about this.
[02:31]
Sam Morril
Legit ready that.
[02:33]
Rachel Feinstein
Me too. Won't stick. I'm dead.
[02:37]
Sam Morril
Bulletproof bag, baby. Won't stick is great.
[02:43]
Stavros Halkias
Like an allegation with no legs.
[02:47]
Sam Morril
You had your chance. There was six months in 2019 where it might have worked, but we. We skated. But Harvey went down. Harvey died for everyone's sins. He sort of like molester Jesus. His Harvey and ep.
[03:05]
Stavros Halkias
Every other rapist has a fucking shrine to him.
[03:07]
Rachel Feinstein
Diddy, we need diversity.
[03:08]
Sam Morril
You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Even the Illuminati have diversity quotas. They're like, all right, we need one black rapist as well. Not just.
[03:20]
Rachel Feinstein
They were saying, like, with all the baby oil thing for Diddy, there was like the thousand bottle thing. And then they're like, oh, maybe you got a Costco. And even Costco was like, he didn't get it. Yeah. Like, they put out a press release.
[03:30]
Sam Morril
Yeah, we don't sell baby oil.
[03:32]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah, Wasn't us.
[03:33]
Sam Morril
Little close.
[03:33]
Rachel Feinstein
Oh, sorry.
[03:34]
Stavros Halkias
What? I saw the.
[03:35]
Sam Morril
The.
[03:36]
Stavros Halkias
By the way, the. A lot of the headlines about Diddy are amazing. Like, they. One of them was a Diddy, like, has new troubles or something. I'm like, troubles Mass Ratch.
[03:52]
Sam Morril
Just a little rough patch.
[03:53]
Stavros Halkias
Kneeling down today.
[03:55]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[03:55]
Stavros Halkias
He is going to be on St. John's Ward.
[03:58]
Sam Morril
I'm like, yeah, all you need is a little zinc and a good night's rest, Diddy, and you'll be. You'll be right. His reign. Yeah. He really was a super villain, huh? Just living. Just you get. You're just allowed to live that way for a while.
[04:13]
Stavros Halkias
What's amazing is that you called him a mensch. What did you mean by that?
[04:18]
Sam Morril
That was. We'll see. I don't know. I consider every Yiddish word a curse, so I don't actually anything Jewish Greek people find negative. So I thought I was schmuck. Right, right, right. I thought I was being very. I was.
[04:35]
Stavros Halkias
Because after it all came out, you texted me. Underrated genius.
[04:42]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Eldest is really distraught because he. As he was, he looked up to a producer that worked with a very fat, talented man who. Eldest was planning to have me taken down. Like Biggie. Eldest was planning to become the podcast Puffy.
[04:59]
Rachel Feinstein
Hopefully Elvis doesn't outlive you.
[05:03]
Joe List
I actually was a huge Puffy fan when I was the last kid.
[05:06]
Sam Morril
I remember that I would literally go to Eldest's house and I remember it was the Godzilla when. Godzilla.
[05:12]
Joe List
Godzilla soundtrack.
[05:13]
Sam Morril
You had The Godzilla city.
[05:14]
Joe List
Like David Bowens.
[05:15]
Rachel Feinstein
You brought her a Godzilla.
[05:18]
Sam Morril
Eldest was a huge fan. We listened to the soundtrack, that video. Whereas the Led Zeppelin sample.
[05:23]
Rachel Feinstein
Oh, yeah, by the way, Robert Plant. Underage women as well.
[05:27]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah. I mean, every.
[05:28]
Rachel Feinstein
Every. Every musician.
[05:29]
Sam Morril
Every musician. Every musician until, I guess, maybe six months ago. And even then, it's like.
[05:37]
Rachel Feinstein
Like, it's probably they were just molested. The new crop.
[05:40]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah.
[05:40]
Rachel Feinstein
Like, Bieber was.
[05:41]
Sam Morril
He didn't do this.
[05:43]
Stavros Halkias
Somebody was like. Somebody actually had this take, like, at a coma. They were like, well, let's wait till more allegations come out. I'm like, come on. Like, there's, like. There's like 120, like, lawsuits. Where there's smoke, there's rape.
[05:55]
Sam Morril
Like, it's not that guy. Whoever said that is.
[05:58]
Stavros Halkias
My grandma told me that when I.
[05:59]
Sam Morril
Was a young girl, she really didn't want to smoke cigarettes. The Marlboro Man.
[06:09]
Stavros Halkias
Everything you want. Follow all your dreams. Where there's smoke, there's rape.
[06:16]
Rachel Feinstein
I love how everyone's like, the tapes are going to blow your mind. I'm like, no, we're expecting rape.
[06:20]
Sam Morril
I think I know.
[06:21]
Rachel Feinstein
I don't think it's going to shock us that much.
[06:22]
Sam Morril
I think I know. Yeah.
[06:24]
Stavros Halkias
Blow your mind is what they say about a summer blockbuster.
[06:28]
Rachel Feinstein
Godzilla, dude, that's one of my favorite movies. Come with me. Dude, that was a banger.
[06:34]
Sam Morril
Oh, man. Yeah.
[06:35]
Rachel Feinstein
Bad boy for life. That was. I remember when Brady and Gronk had, like, their big comeback. They came back to, like, bed. It was like, you know, bad.
[06:43]
Sam Morril
Bad boys for life, you know, Bob Bomb.
[06:45]
Rachel Feinstein
That was a cool fucking riff.
[06:47]
Sam Morril
Is Mace going crazy? Have you been. Have you been keeping tabs with him at all?
[06:50]
Joe List
Actually, he has a podcast with camera.
[06:52]
Sam Morril
I know. That's what I'm saying.
[06:53]
Joe List
That looks fucking awesome.
[06:56]
Stavros Halkias
Did he think. Because that's my walk up.
[06:58]
Sam Morril
I don't think so.
[06:59]
Stavros Halkias
Feels so good. So underrated.
[07:03]
Sam Morril
Mace is awesome.
[07:04]
Joe List
Harlem World, great album.
[07:05]
Sam Morril
Yeah. You were Begin Mace fan as a child as well.
[07:07]
Rachel Feinstein
Tamron was great.
[07:09]
Stavros Halkias
It feels so good. Incredible song, right?
[07:11]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, It's a good one, but. Yeah, I was just wondering if he's been. I wonder if he's been saying anything about all the Diddy stuff or if he's waiting.
[07:18]
Joe List
I don't think. I think he's come out saying anything specific. I think I saw a clipper. Like, Cameron and him were talking about it and they were, like, just making jokes, but he wasn't saying.
[07:27]
Sam Morril
Really.
[07:27]
Joe List
Yeah.
[07:28]
Sam Morril
Well, keep tabs on it, folks. This is. We're Just covering the Diddy stuff. Except probably by now he's been killed in jail by the time this episode comes out. By now, Hillary Clinton's fingerprints are being wiped off his jail cell as we speak. Man. Yeah. That is that. He really did have a crazy, crazy supervisor.
[07:57]
Rachel Feinstein
He was at the dnc.
[07:58]
Sam Morril
Yeah. I mean he just fully was on the island. It's crazy.
[08:02]
Stavros Halkias
It is insane.
[08:04]
Sam Morril
Everyone's just allow be a pedophile. He's like, no one gives a. I.
[08:09]
Stavros Halkias
Will say one thing about Diddy though. He was a great dad.
[08:15]
Sam Morril
Yeah, didn't he? Aren't people saying his son is his protege was like his rape protege.
[08:19]
Rachel Feinstein
Really?
[08:20]
Sam Morril
Yeah, I saw one. Tick tock. I shouldn't say that I don't even know who his son is. But God, can you imagine?
[08:26]
Rachel Feinstein
It's like cat's cradle, but instead of cats, they're just raping.
[08:29]
Sam Morril
Yeah, that's good. Yeah, they're just like. They're just oiling up. Meek Mill in a Miami mansion.
[08:34]
Rachel Feinstein
Fuck that. His poor Meek. Damn. Yeah.
[08:37]
Sam Morril
Poor Meek. That poor. That poor man. Man. He just. I think Meek Mill's life was. He wished on a. He did like a monkey Paul wish to. I want to fuck Nicki Minaj. And then he. And it happened and then everything else. Drake humiliated him. Did he probably did some untoward things with him. Yeah, it is. It is. I bet you a lot of like there's probably guys out there who want everything silenced so that people don't know that they were like, you know, worked. Worked over by Diddy. I bet you there's probably like some like macho dudes. They're like, the records must remain sealed. I don't want them to know. And I won't even speculate.
[09:19]
Rachel Feinstein
I want to change up my Spotify playlist.
[09:23]
Stavros Halkias
To me is that like JLO is like been completely silent and also posting a lot too. Like, yeah, like I'm like posting through her to make a statement. And it's just like her doing like a whore crawl. Like, I'm back again.
[09:36]
Sam Morril
She's smart. She needs to continue whatever's going on with Ben Affleck. Because that's so funny that people like, who cares? Who cares if she was accomplished to sex crimes in the two in the 90s.
[09:47]
Rachel Feinstein
I just saw a New York Post thing. It said Ben Affleck dies beard amidst divorce woes. I'm like, you're talking about just let the guy walk.
[09:55]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, he can't.
[09:57]
Rachel Feinstein
He's dying his beard. He's not in a good place.
[09:58]
Sam Morril
Dying your beard. Is a next level divorce guy movie.
[10:01]
Rachel Feinstein
It really is.
[10:02]
Sam Morril
That's crazy.
[10:03]
Stavros Halkias
It is dark terrain.
[10:05]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[10:06]
Stavros Halkias
He just always looks so furious. I just love how he slams a car door every time.
[10:10]
Sam Morril
Yeah. I mean he's a man who was made to be divorced like as a baby. It was like this baby will thrive as a divorced 50 year old millionaire. He will like that's just what a.
[10:23]
Rachel Feinstein
Monkey Paul wish too. He gets an academy award. He gets to all these actresses. But he will never be happy.
[10:28]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[10:28]
Rachel Feinstein
That's his monkey.
[10:29]
Sam Morril
I love him. He's so he. And he makes such great stuff. Town's great.
[10:33]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[10:33]
Sam Morril
Gone baby. Gone. Insanely good movie.
[10:36]
Stavros Halkias
He's always red and furious. Yeah. And definitely my type for sure.
[10:40]
Sam Morril
Smoking. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
[10:42]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah. He has an anger problem.
[10:44]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Your husband's unhappy. Your husband's got a little something. Your husband's got a little. Some Affleck vibes to it.
[10:48]
Rachel Feinstein
Might throw you down a flight of stairs. You forgive him, he'd be like, I'm so sorry.
[10:55]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. He just looks like he's like an emotional desert and guttural alcohol. What's not to love?
[11:01]
Ryan
It is Ryan here? And I have a question for you. What do you do when you win? Like, are you a fist pumper?
[11:07]
Sam Morril
A woo hoo?
[11:08]
Ryan
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[11:27]
Stavros Halkias
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[11:27]
Rachel Feinstein
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[11:29]
Eldis
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[11:47]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[11:48]
Stavros Halkias
He's gonna blow all your money and dump some dumb casino.
[11:51]
Sam Morril
Was there the fir who was the first one of like. Because I feel like you were every like childhood story that I hear about you is like you were just such a pure dumb soul that you were just that the world just like you had no preparation for like people being mean to you. Do you know what I mean?
[12:10]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[12:10]
Sam Morril
Like you just seemed nice. So it's like, was there like a. When you get to New York and you're. And I also love the little detail that didn't you live. Who were your roommates? It was a hilarious roommate situation.
[12:21]
Stavros Halkias
I moved with. I was roommates with Sherrod. I was roommates. I moved with a guy in his band called Dick Sister.
[12:26]
Sam Morril
So I was like the Yoko, Sherrod and Dick Sister. That's awesome.
[12:31]
Stavros Halkias
I live with a band called Mongrel Bitch and it was like a studio apartment.
[12:36]
Sam Morril
That's incredible.
[12:38]
Stavros Halkias
It was just the lead singer of Mongrel Bitch. It was on the top bunk and I was on the bottom. And I would come in like at like three in the morning. Like I'd kick off my boots like a fucking gross slut. And her daughter. It was her and her daughter.
[12:50]
Sam Morril
You lived in a studio apartment with.
[12:51]
Stavros Halkias
A friend and her daughter?
[12:53]
Sam Morril
Oh my God.
[12:55]
Stavros Halkias
And then I met a Bengali family on the Greyhound after Dick Sister dumped me and I moved in.
[13:00]
Rachel Feinstein
She's the saddest start to a memoir.
[13:03]
Sam Morril
This is incredible. I know it is.
[13:05]
Stavros Halkias
I know. And it's all completely true. Like there's not an aspect of it. I'm exaggerating.
[13:10]
Rachel Feinstein
And it was the guy who faked the. That he was in the service.
[13:14]
Stavros Halkias
Oh yeah. I did date a guy for a while that pretended to be in the war in Iraq.
[13:18]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Hold on, hold on. This is so much better than I, I was just, I was just remembering Sherrod. I thought that was going to be good. I didn't realize there's eight. There's like eight weird living situations. So you, you get off the Greyhound bus from Montgomery County, Maryland and you get to New York. What's the first, what's the first living.
[13:42]
Stavros Halkias
Situation was Dick Sister. I moved with Dick Sister.
[13:45]
Sam Morril
And were you dating someone in the band?
[13:47]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I was dating the lead singer and then. And he kept like re dumping me. Like the dumps weren't taken. I just kept being like, God, you're.
[13:58]
Rachel Feinstein
On the phone with your parents. Dick Sisters is going to be big. You have to understand, I'm riding this train all the way to the top.
[14:06]
Stavros Halkias
And my mom had like no follow up questions cuz she's just. That's how liberal she is. She was just outside in a dashiki like.
[14:12]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[14:14]
Stavros Halkias
Like no f. And then like nothing. Like, by the way, he was five years older than me. It was like sagittory rape.
[14:21]
Sam Morril
I think my mom was like, I.
[14:22]
Stavros Halkias
Like how old were you? Yeah, I was like 15 when we started dating and he was like 20.
[14:27]
Sam Morril
Wait, it literally was good. I thought you Were.
[14:32]
Rachel Feinstein
He had.
[14:32]
Sam Morril
Dick's sister had some diddy stuff going on. Did sister.
[14:42]
Rachel Feinstein
He said you were like 21 in this story. I didn't think you were.
[14:45]
Stavros Halkias
I was 17 when I moved to New York.
[14:49]
Sam Morril
This. This.
[14:50]
Stavros Halkias
Then I met a family on the grey. A woman. I was weeping after being freshly dumped by Dick. Sister. And this woman had to catch up.
[14:56]
Sam Morril
On your algebra homework. You were. You were sad. You helped him file for Social Security benefits and you were trying to get the quadratic equation down and some Indian guy helped you with it. And he was like, come live with my family.
[15:10]
Rachel Feinstein
R. Kelly tapped you. He's like, you should come to this party. It's a good time.
[15:15]
Sam Morril
I will say I keep. I want to hear more details, but I will just make a quick aside that you're the best example of how good positive thinking can be for a person. Because what you're describing is horrific. Every. Everything you've said is horrific. And you just have such a. Like, you'd be fine to be a traumatized, useless person in society, but because you're like, have a positive outlook, it really, you know, it's awesome. People look at. Look to Rachel, guys.
[15:42]
Stavros Halkias
I mean, I'm not well.
[15:44]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[15:46]
Rachel Feinstein
The second half of this pod was just her crying.
[15:48]
Sam Morril
Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm out just weeping. Yeah, yeah.
[15:53]
Stavros Halkias
No, I mean, I'm clearly on. Well, yeah. I. I found a guy on the street who was like. He was like a construction worker and I thought he looked like Paul Newman. I was like, oh, he's hot. And I think I was with Marina Franklin, actually. And she was like, he's your type. Like, looks like Paul Newman and he's like red eyed and drunk.
[16:08]
Rachel Feinstein
He was like, hey, baby, let me lick that pussy. Like, I'm gonna give this a shot. Wow.
[16:13]
Sam Morril
It's Cool Hand Luke. Oh, my God, it's Butch Cassid.
[16:27]
Stavros Halkias
He pretended that he was, like, back from a war.
[16:30]
Sam Morril
So it was just on the street. Truly, like, you just saw a guy stand up.
[16:34]
Stavros Halkias
New York. Yeah.
[16:34]
Sam Morril
Okay, nice.
[16:35]
Stavros Halkias
He was really hot.
[16:36]
Rachel Feinstein
Nothing good ever happens there. Yeah, that's a rough club.
[16:40]
Sam Morril
Yeah. You barked in a guy and then dated him. That's awesome.
[16:45]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, he was like, yeah, I just got back from a war. And I was like, oh, it's kind of hot, you know? And we did some shots. And then the next day he came out and watched my show and I bombed so violently. And I was like, oh, this guy's never going to want to see me again. And then he met me at the bar. And I mean, it was like a violent. Like an emergency bomb where you feel like you need to be lifted out of the space.
[17:03]
Sam Morril
Oh, no. You're just sweating.
[17:05]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[17:06]
Sam Morril
I hate that shit.
[17:07]
Stavros Halkias
And I meet him at the bar, and he was like, I got something to tell you. He knew it was the right moment. He's like, I was never in the.
[17:13]
Sam Morril
War you bumped so bad.
[17:15]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[17:15]
Sam Morril
It excused his stealing valor. He was like, me and this person are equals. She's so unfunny that she will accept that I lied about serving in Desert Storm.
[17:28]
Rachel Feinstein
He started not walking with a limp anymore.
[17:31]
Stavros Halkias
That's exactly what happened.
[17:32]
Rachel Feinstein
Really?
[17:33]
Sam Morril
He faked a limp?
[17:34]
Stavros Halkias
And so I got on seat.
[17:35]
Rachel Feinstein
Wow. Holy shit.
[17:36]
Stavros Halkias
How did you know that?
[17:38]
Rachel Feinstein
I don't think you told me that, bro. That's amazing.
[17:39]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, he absolutely faked a limp. And then he was like, the limp wasn't real. And I was like, it's okay.
[17:44]
Rachel Feinstein
Holy shit.
[17:44]
Stavros Halkias
I still thought he was better than me because he had an apartment, and he was like a foreman on a construction site, and he was always sorry, which is very hot to me. So he was always like, number two.
[17:53]
Rachel Feinstein
He's like, I don't really work at a construction site. I just got this hat somewhere, and I've been standing on the corner.
[17:59]
Sam Morril
I had to do despicable things to a member of the vill people for this hat. But I knew it would help me get the impressionable teenagers on the street. You're impressed he didn't have a bunk bed as an adult?
[18:18]
Stavros Halkias
I was. That's all it took. For me, it was literally a person that had an apartment. And I was like, oh, they're above me. Like, he was face. Every night would end at us in a port authority bar. And him just glaring.
[18:29]
Rachel Feinstein
Those are some good bars around there.
[18:30]
Sam Morril
Okay.
[18:31]
Rachel Feinstein
All right, good dive.
[18:32]
Sam Morril
All right, I take it back. I forgot I'm dealing with an alcoholic. This guy sounds all right. Rudy's.
[18:40]
Rachel Feinstein
You get a free hot dog with every round.
[18:42]
Sam Morril
Oh, yeah, that is. That place is cool. 40 win now. Hot dogs got me in all our vices. Men that are back for us drinking food in a row. All right, so we all need to just start hanging out at Rudy's. That's where.
[19:00]
Stavros Halkias
I used to call aa. Like the hotline?
[19:03]
Sam Morril
Yes, Every day.
[19:04]
Stavros Halkias
And I'd be like, you don't understand. Understand. He's an alcoholic. They're like, yeah, yeah, he has to call. He's never gonna call.
[19:10]
Sam Morril
Right, right, right.
[19:11]
Stavros Halkias
I think shots are the problem. Like, it didn't even occur to me that I shouldn't be calling AA every day to get him.
[19:16]
Rachel Feinstein
How many. How many drinks are we talking?
[19:18]
Stavros Halkias
Oh, my God, can you imagine? I can't even imagine. I mean, at a certain point he was just kind of rocking and falling forward and then he would glare at some woman at the bar like he was always starting beef with somebody and I'm like, old 65 year old divorced lady. I'm like, what beef could you possibly have with Virginia? Like, ah, you know, he of like not having his back. He's like, never back me up. Never back me up in a conflict.
[19:44]
Sam Morril
What the fuck? And how. So wait, so this is. This. I need the chronology. You literally do need to write a memoir. This is fascinating.
[19:50]
Rachel Feinstein
You really should.
[19:51]
Sam Morril
The chronology is you're how old and how old is he now?
[19:55]
Stavros Halkias
At that point, I was at our dick sister and I had already fallen.
[19:58]
Sam Morril
Dick sister's over.
[19:59]
Stavros Halkias
Yes.
[19:59]
Sam Morril
You're living with the Bengali family.
[20:02]
Ryan
This was dick sister.
[20:03]
Rachel Feinstein
The early years.
[20:04]
Sam Morril
This is post dick sister in the prime of the Bengali family.
[20:09]
Stavros Halkias
Yes.
[20:09]
Sam Morril
And where were you living? Like in Queensland.
[20:10]
Stavros Halkias
He's like. And I was. And I met him. Yeah, I guess I was about 23 and he was like 33. And I moved in with him right after he told me that he wasn't really fresh from a war. I was like, let me give a suit.
[20:26]
Sam Morril
Jesus Christ. That's amazing. I'm gonna guess the Bengali family lived in Queens.
[20:30]
Stavros Halkias
They did. They lived in Woodhaven, Queens.
[20:32]
Sam Morril
And you needed to be in the city.
[20:34]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, you need to.
[20:35]
Sam Morril
For shelter in Manhattan.
[20:36]
Stavros Halkias
It was kind of part of it.
[20:37]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[20:41]
Stavros Halkias
Well, he lived closer to the city. He lived in West New York. So we had to take a bus like right over that.
[20:47]
Sam Morril
Oh, my God.
[20:48]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I know. He wasn't.
[20:51]
Rachel Feinstein
He didn't live in the city.
[20:55]
Sam Morril
By.
[20:55]
Stavros Halkias
The way, you guys. Every day I was like. I was like, I can't believe my luck. Yeah, you're like this wide, man.
[21:05]
Sam Morril
The big ass.
[21:06]
Rachel Feinstein
Looking back, did he. Did he kind of look like Paul Newman or was that.
[21:09]
Stavros Halkias
He was very.
[21:09]
Sam Morril
He was probably jacked.
[21:11]
Stavros Halkias
And he would just come home just fucking red eyed, just full of lies. I was sifting through garbage. I'm like, this is liquor, this is. Babe, I'm not fighting with you tonight. I'm not taking the bait. That's what he said.
[21:25]
Sam Morril
He's just reliving whatever divorce he just went through. He like, is fully going through his first marriage. Taking the bait is awesome.
[21:34]
Rachel Feinstein
He's gaslighting you. Yeah. You stumble into the apartment like you can't keep doing this to me. I love throwing that on someone.
[21:42]
Sam Morril
Oh, that's none of your rhetorical tricks tonight.
[21:47]
Stavros Halkias
He said that once right before he passed out. I was like, you are drunk, Chris. He's like, I'm not drunk. I'm not taking your pan. And he just softly fell forward into the carpet.
[21:58]
Sam Morril
That's incredible.
[22:00]
Stavros Halkias
I'm like, your nose is broken. He's like, babe, I'm not doing this.
[22:04]
Rachel Feinstein
Do you keep tabs on him? Have you seen where he's been?
[22:06]
Stavros Halkias
He messaged me a few times, but I've not. I've not talked to him in many, many, many years. I mean, it would be just Dave Juskow invited him to his football pool because he thinks it's funny to invite every guy that I've ever broken up with to his football pool. So I know he's still in Dave's pool. Whenever I leave someone, Dave's like, well.
[22:25]
Rachel Feinstein
I heard his side.
[22:26]
Stavros Halkias
I'm like, fuck you, Dave.
[22:29]
Sam Morril
That's such a bizarre technique to just, like, befriend your friend's exes.
[22:34]
Rachel Feinstein
He's fucking with her. He's fucking with her. Dave's hilarious.
[22:37]
Sam Morril
Dave is very fun. Yeah.
[22:38]
Stavros Halkias
I mean, yeah, he does. He thinks it's funny to ask them all to be in his pool. And they're all in his pool, by the way. Even Chris's brother is in his pool. Yeah. And he's like. He made some good points.
[22:47]
Sam Morril
And I'm like, this is so long ago.
[22:51]
Stavros Halkias
I know. He's still in his pool, like, for many, many years. Yeah. He keeps touching with all of them. My ex had cheated on me with a bartender. He's like. He was actually really sweet when you explained what happened. He got blown, and I caught him.
[23:11]
Rachel Feinstein
How'd you catch it?
[23:12]
Stavros Halkias
I, like, walked into the bar.
[23:14]
Rachel Feinstein
Oh, my God.
[23:15]
Stavros Halkias
Finishing up a bar.
[23:16]
Sam Morril
You guys were at the bar together? And he popped back?
[23:20]
Stavros Halkias
No, I came in to, like, check.
[23:21]
Sam Morril
On him because I had a feeling.
[23:22]
Stavros Halkias
He was up to things. But you put, by the way.
[23:25]
Rachel Feinstein
And he just finished.
[23:26]
Stavros Halkias
He just finished.
[23:27]
Rachel Feinstein
He's like, not tonight, huh?
[23:29]
Sam Morril
Yeah. I'm not taking the bait.
[23:33]
Stavros Halkias
I told my mom all this, by the way. My mom, who's, like, a bleeding heart liberal. Anybody that's not white, she always sides with.
[23:39]
Rachel Feinstein
I thought he was white.
[23:40]
Stavros Halkias
He was Puerto Rican, this guy. I was like, he. You know, he got a blow job. And my mom was like, well, you don't understand.
[23:46]
Sam Morril
It's their culture. She's so liberal. She's racist. Hispanics can't help themselves. They're kind of closer to animals than a white man.
[24:00]
Rachel Feinstein
That is crazy. You walked in on a blow job. That is some dark.
[24:04]
Stavros Halkias
He was finishing it up.
[24:06]
Rachel Feinstein
That's the worst part. Hey, honey. Mid blow drop bad. Him just coming is so much worse.
[24:16]
Sam Morril
So much worse. So much worse.
[24:19]
Stavros Halkias
Meanwhile, my mom was like, you need to have some compassion. His mother was incarcerated.
[24:26]
Rachel Feinstein
I love the guys you're picking, by the way.
[24:29]
Stavros Halkias
It's not good.
[24:30]
Sam Morril
Not good.
[24:33]
Rachel Feinstein
Your mom raised you to be so open minded that you made horrible, horrible choices.
[24:38]
Stavros Halkias
Yes. And she always, always, always will side with the guy.
[24:42]
Sam Morril
Interesting.
[24:42]
Stavros Halkias
He's glistening white and then he's been devil as far as Karen's concern.
[24:47]
Sam Morril
Interesting. Very interesting.
[24:49]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. She's always like, try to bring in the childhood. When you think about. I'm like, what. What the. Does his childhood have to do with him getting sucked off and walked?
[25:00]
Sam Morril
Well, you know, maybe. Maybe, you know, as a kid, he put his dick in play. D'oh. Every. Every time he had apple juice. And that's kind of like going to the bar when you're a kid and you know, were you sucking his at the bar? Because if not, he needed that. And maybe you're being selfish. That's so funny. God damn, what a run.
[25:20]
Rachel Feinstein
That is a crazy walk in mid dicks.
[25:25]
Stavros Halkias
He was like pulling his pants up. Like, I didn't see the act. Like, I just saw him kind of, you know, tidying afterwards.
[25:31]
Sam Morril
Right, right, right.
[25:32]
Stavros Halkias
And he tried to tell me some sort of.
[25:34]
Rachel Feinstein
Maybe he didn't finish that.
[25:35]
Sam Morril
I do have case.
[25:36]
Rachel Feinstein
I feel for him in some.
[25:38]
Sam Morril
In some ways I am shocked. Like, so you just let me get this clear. You guys went to the bar together or.
[25:45]
Stavros Halkias
He was hard to see what was going on.
[25:47]
Sam Morril
Oh, so you knew he was at the bar.
[25:48]
Stavros Halkias
He wasn't coming home. And I came there and he like, came out of the bathroom with another young lady.
[25:55]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Because if you were lips off and.
[25:58]
Rachel Feinstein
I put two and two together, if.
[26:00]
Sam Morril
You were at the bar and he somehow managed to negotiate a blowjob while there with someone else, I would have to begrudgingly respect him more than I felt sorry for you. Because that would have been an insane move and I would have. I don't even understand how. Like, I remember one time I was. I was riding my bike in Baltimore and they were like, guys in jail, like, they take them out to like, do community service, like clean up the park or whatever, and they're hitting on women and they're in jail. They're actively in Jail. And they're like, I'll be home soon. You know, like, trying to get pussy from jail six months in the future. And I'm, like, too shy to talk to them as a free man. You know what I mean? You know, And I'm like, some. I really wish I had some. Some guys, you know, but they have nothing to lose.
[26:47]
Rachel Feinstein
That's why they're doing it. Perhaps, but those guys aren't getting me, too, dude.
[26:51]
Sam Morril
Yeah, that's true.
[26:52]
Rachel Feinstein
I'm in a yellow jumpsuit.
[26:53]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah.
[26:54]
Rachel Feinstein
Or whatever.
[26:55]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[26:55]
Sam Morril
I don't remember the color.
[26:56]
Stavros Halkias
And a lot of women do date guys in. In prison. And they like. And. And they have multiple girlfriends, too. Like, they have one.
[27:02]
Sam Morril
That's awesome.
[27:03]
Stavros Halkias
To fill up their whole concept. Yes.
[27:05]
Sam Morril
Yeah, sure. You need some ramen. You need some Laffy Taffy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[27:11]
Rachel Feinstein
We've all seen those docs, though, with these serial killers have women, like, waiting for them.
[27:15]
Sam Morril
Yeah, but that's another thing, though. That's like. They're so crazy like, that. That's a woman. That's insane. You know, that's a specific kind of like.
[27:22]
Rachel Feinstein
But there's prison dating. Like, I remember years ago, Mackie and I went on that as, like, a goof. And then we, like. We were like, look at these. And then we're like, they're hot chicks. You get roped in. You're like, they're not bad.
[27:33]
Sam Morril
Oh, come on. With theft? Yeah, whatever, you know. Oh, it was a felony because it was a diamond ring. I don't care.
[27:40]
Stavros Halkias
No, If I could, I'd be like the Robin Hood of. And take it away from, you know, these prisoners.
[27:44]
Sam Morril
Right, right, right.
[27:46]
Stavros Halkias
Bartenders.
[27:47]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[27:47]
Stavros Halkias
Good men. Deserve it.
[27:50]
Sam Morril
Thank you.
[27:50]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[27:51]
Sam Morril
That's a noble. If you're working to reverse global warming, we'll transport you. We'll do it, like, right at the.
[28:00]
Rachel Feinstein
Right.
[28:00]
Sam Morril
We'll do a switcheroo right in between.
[28:02]
Rachel Feinstein
There should be. There should be programs for, like, the most dangerous people and the most heroic people, like potential school shooter, pussy program scientist, pussy program. You know, help everyone out.
[28:12]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[28:12]
Stavros Halkias
You're interesting.
[28:13]
Rachel Feinstein
I'm thinking. I'm thinking, you know, maybe we do a charity show, town hall. We get some comics together.
[28:17]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah. And we're. And these would be. Who's blowing them, you think? Professionals.
[28:22]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah. We need some pros in there.
[28:23]
Sam Morril
Oh, yeah, if it's pros. That's true, Bono, I just would feel bad kind of tricking women into sucking off school shooters.
[28:29]
Rachel Feinstein
No, no, no. We don't trick them.
[28:30]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[28:31]
Rachel Feinstein
You know, there's people that signed up.
[28:32]
Sam Morril
For the middle kind of guy. You know, call me a bleeding heart, whatever you want to say. I just would feel bad.
[28:40]
Stavros Halkias
Dude might get in the way with cape to grooming girls to blow school shooters. It's incredible sense.
[28:46]
Rachel Feinstein
I never said grooming.
[28:47]
Sam Morril
I'm talking adults. Yeah. Someone's projecting here. Dick sister.
[28:56]
Stavros Halkias
They just might feel bad. Is incredible, right?
[29:01]
Sam Morril
There were a good amount of qualifiers. I guess in hindsight could have been a little more definitive about that, man. Yeah. I'm sorry. I just. I'm. That's so. So you get. I just to keep going to the chronology real fast. This guy's out, this Paul Newman's out, or you break up with him, whatever. Is that when you move in with the family in the studio apartment, the single mother and the daughter?
[29:27]
Stavros Halkias
I think that was actually. Yeah. I think that. I don't know if that was immediately after. It might have been like one or two before. I mean, the trauma starts to blend in.
[29:35]
Sam Morril
Sure, sure, sure.
[29:36]
Stavros Halkias
But I think it was before actually that I was in and then. Because I remember when I left him, I remember I asked him. I was very direct. Well, I said to him, I was like. He said his biggest regret in life was not being in the military. And I said, you deserve to be with somebody that doesn't think that's hilarious.
[29:55]
Sam Morril
That is so funny. Because I don't respect people in the military, but I really don't respect someone who wishes he was in the military and couldn't do it. He played the dumbest guys of all time.
[30:06]
Rachel Feinstein
Remember Bill Hicks bit where he's like, I support the war. I just don't support. Support the troops. I love that so much.
[30:14]
Stavros Halkias
That's an incredible. He would also like. What also almost offended me more than him being a code red emergency alcoholic was that he, like, his movie choices were so dumb.
[30:27]
Rachel Feinstein
Give us some examples.
[30:29]
Stavros Halkias
He loved that movie. I don't know what it's called, but it's about the Rock and his niece. And he kept watching it again and again and like, re pitching it. The Rock. Yeah. And it was like some movie. I think it's the Rock hangs out with his knees and he's like.
[30:38]
Sam Morril
Is he a football player? Player?
[30:39]
Rachel Feinstein
I kind of remember he's like in a ballet costume or something.
[30:42]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. And he's like, no, but he's really big and she's tiny.
[30:45]
Rachel Feinstein
And then they're doing stuff together.
[30:46]
Stavros Halkias
I'm like, yeah, I understand it. It's the dumbest thing I've ever.
[30:49]
Sam Morril
The game plan. Does he Sorry, sorry.
[30:51]
Stavros Halkias
It's called the Game Plan. Maybe.
[30:52]
Sam Morril
Does he play a quarterback? It's his daughter.
[30:55]
Stavros Halkias
That's it.
[30:55]
Sam Morril
He's like, but look, she's really little. He's like, really? This is crazy. This is.
[31:01]
Stavros Halkias
He watched this.
[31:02]
Sam Morril
A children's movie.
[31:03]
Rachel Feinstein
I walked in, 146mil worldwide. This is a hit.
[31:07]
Sam Morril
I have seen this.
[31:08]
Stavros Halkias
He would just sit in our couch chain smoking Marlboro Reds and watching the.
[31:12]
Sam Morril
Game Plan children's movie.
[31:14]
Rachel Feinstein
This is how, by the way, how does he have fucking shell shock? And he never served like this.
[31:18]
Sam Morril
When you come back and you're like.
[31:19]
Rachel Feinstein
I need something light.
[31:20]
Sam Morril
Yeah. What if I never left and my daughter still talked to me? That's what this is.
[31:25]
Stavros Halkias
And he kept, like, acting like I didn't understand the irony. He's like, she's tiny, but he's huge.
[31:29]
Sam Morril
Come on.
[31:30]
Stavros Halkias
It's hysterical.
[31:31]
Sam Morril
I love that.
[31:31]
Rachel Feinstein
I'm more of a Mr. Nanny man.
[31:33]
Sam Morril
Myself, but remember that piece of. What's the. What's the Tooth Fairy movie? Isn't there one?
[31:40]
Rachel Feinstein
Oh, maybe that's. Maybe that's it.
[31:42]
Sam Morril
Is that with Vin. Is that with the rock?
[31:43]
Stavros Halkias
Or is that Vin Diesel movies where, like, you bought a house? Oh, my God.
[31:47]
Sam Morril
Yes.
[31:48]
Stavros Halkias
He watched this, too.
[31:49]
Sam Morril
Wait, what? Everything you said, fake Rachel, 17%.
[31:58]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. And it's 100 true. My brothers were like. They were so disturbed by him. They were like this. You can't. They're like, you must dump him before this family wedding. Because he would glare at my brother. Brothers, too. He just got so drunk. He would glare and he was like. Chris glares at me the whole night.
[32:13]
Sam Morril
You know, that's incredible.
[32:15]
Stavros Halkias
Just starts rocking and glaring. And then he'd be like, you're not gonna have my back. That's my grandma.
[32:26]
Sam Morril
Did your. Did your brothers. Did they stay local? Did they leave? What was.
[32:30]
Stavros Halkias
No, they were in. They were. Stayed in Bethesda, where I grew up. I know my older brother now. He was living in Brooklyn for a while, but now he's in la. And my younger brother's still in Maryland and Bethesda. But they know. They were very appalled. My brother says that he remembers he was working in New York for a while. He remembers I used to call him at work all the time with just, like, the craziest situations. Like, I'd be like, I need you to pick me up from this guy's hat.
[32:52]
Rachel Feinstein
Like, it was always, like, something dangerous there.
[32:54]
Stavros Halkias
It would be dangerous. Or just the dumbest shit he'd ever need to be bothered at work. I never had A bank account. So I had to write all my checks over to him. So I'm like, meet me at Citibank.
[33:02]
Sam Morril
Like, didn't have a bank account and what, What?
[33:07]
Rachel Feinstein
Now this checks out. This checks out.
[33:10]
Stavros Halkias
And I just like, I didn't get a bank account until I was like 30 or something. And I was like, every day I would just meet my brother adviser and he'd be like, jesus, Rachel. All right. Then I'd write all my checks over to him.
[33:20]
Sam Morril
And he would just give you cash?
[33:22]
Stavros Halkias
And he would give me cash.
[33:24]
Rachel Feinstein
I don't know. I'm starting to side with the Paul Newman guy.
[33:27]
Sam Morril
I know we are only hearing one side of maybe just cows, right? We are only getting. Getting one side.
[33:33]
Stavros Halkias
He said. I called him up once at work and I was like, where's Wisconsin? And he's like, Rachel, like, look at him app and why? And I was like, I have to go there tomorrow. It's probably like a road gig. He said that was like of all the questions. Because whenever he's like, I always picked up because I knew it would be interesting.
[33:47]
Rachel Feinstein
Wait, why do you have to call? Why can't you just go to a website to book a ticket? Why do you have to call him?
[33:52]
Stavros Halkias
I didn't. I don't. Not sure. I mean, it's not good. I called my brother to ask where. Wisconsin. The layers of stupidity involved in that is. Are very. They're fascinating to me.
[34:01]
Sam Morril
That's awesome.
[34:02]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[34:02]
Sam Morril
But I remember you were just living in the moment. I respect that.
[34:05]
Stavros Halkias
I do remember, like feeling like maps and I still feel like those are kind of confusing.
[34:09]
Sam Morril
Yeah, I'm with you.
[34:11]
Rachel Feinstein
I did once.
[34:12]
Sam Morril
I don't have that much space that.
[34:14]
Rachel Feinstein
Hard because I did once. I did a gig years ago with Joe List and I booked us. We were like, co headline. Like must have been like 2010 or 11. And it was a casino run and I think I accidentally booked. Booked us in Michigan and we were supposed to be in Wisconsin or something. And I booked us a ticket on the wrong day. And then they prorated the gig and Joe's like, did you just. Me? I don't. I'm like, yeah, I. I'm gonna idiot. So.
[34:35]
Sam Morril
Oh, my.
[34:36]
Stavros Halkias
Wrong city.
[34:37]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah. And then also on that gig, he was like, we're splitting the driving, right? Because it was like 30 hours of driving. I was like, you got it. And then he saw me drive and he was like, I'm driving. This whole.
[34:46]
Sam Morril
I hate you.
[34:47]
Rachel Feinstein
I hate you so much.
[34:49]
Sam Morril
I think I've heard of the joke Joe this is a story I do have both sides of. Yeah, yeah.
[34:53]
Rachel Feinstein
Joe has complained about me and let me, let me be the first to say he's 100% right.
[34:58]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[34:59]
Rachel Feinstein
It is all my fault.
[35:00]
Sam Morril
To this day. Is pissed off.
[35:02]
Rachel Feinstein
He's still angry about it. He just had a baby and he's still like scowling every once in a while about me driving. Yeah.
[35:08]
Sam Morril
Like, if it just. If any kind of road stories come up, any driving immediately he'll tell that story.
[35:15]
Rachel Feinstein
It was midnight drive either.
[35:16]
Stavros Halkias
If it makes at all. Yeah, like, it, like. And I'm like, I'll drive. Like, I have a license, but I'm like, I'll drive, but I'll kill us.
[35:23]
Rachel Feinstein
We just get stuck somewhere and we were like, fuck, One of us might have to drive. Yeah. We were in a road game. Yeah. Where were we? Yeah, we were in Niagara Falls and the plane was delayed so bad that my girlfriend's like, are you gonna get back? Like, what? Surely, like, whoever you're with can drive you back. And I'm like, looking at Rachel like, nah, I think we're in trouble. I was like, ready to be like, it. I'll drive us, cuz I can. Like, I'm not good. But like, confidence goes a long way. Yeah.
[35:52]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[35:52]
Rachel Feinstein
It's all confidence. You fake it to your maker.
[35:54]
Sam Morril
That's insane, dude. That's so funny.
[35:56]
Rachel Feinstein
I drove. I drove a few blocks the other day. I feel good.
[35:59]
Sam Morril
Wow.
[36:00]
Rachel Feinstein
And she was like, you're gonna die, God damn it.
[36:02]
Sam Morril
Yeah, but that's not a short drive.
[36:04]
Rachel Feinstein
It was a high six hours.
[36:06]
Sam Morril
Yeah, we were.
[36:06]
Rachel Feinstein
We were. But we were in Balt. We. Oh, not Bal. We're Buffalo. We just crossed over.
[36:11]
Sam Morril
Wait, did you have to drive or.
[36:12]
Rachel Feinstein
No, no, we waited a couple hours. They took us stuck on this plane.
[36:15]
Stavros Halkias
It was like around and just kept going. The delays kept getting longer. And he's like, we might have to drive. And I was like, I. I hit a UPS truck. Like, I can't. I've totaled my mom's Pontiac LeMans trucks.
[36:27]
Rachel Feinstein
Wow.
[36:28]
Sam Morril
Pontiac LeMans.
[36:29]
Stavros Halkias
Well, yeah, I'm not name dropping.
[36:32]
Rachel Feinstein
I crashed my parents car once.
[36:33]
Sam Morril
Isn't that the lama? Isn't that the class you take when someone's pregnant? Lamaze?
[36:38]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah, I think, like the breathing. Is that it or no?
[36:42]
Stavros Halkias
Yes, it is Lamaza. But my mom, my mom, all our cars were used and we bought them so many times over because my mom would just be really obsessed with a mechanic. She'd be like, did I tell you Salvador has an autistic Son. And I'm like, he's the reason I'm not going to college. Yeah. She just would get really obsessed with it. And they were like, re raping my parents. Mike. Howie doesn't know, like, how to change a tire.
[37:06]
Rachel Feinstein
Jews aren't good with it.
[37:08]
Sam Morril
Oh, no.
[37:08]
Rachel Feinstein
We're not good with maintenance work.
[37:10]
Stavros Halkias
Remember when I asking you recently about hanging a picture? And he was like, I called my doorman.
[37:16]
Rachel Feinstein
No, I did hang my pictures up, but there was a couple that was like, I don't want to. I just paid a guy to do it.
[37:22]
Sam Morril
He's like.
[37:24]
Stavros Halkias
I think he said, that's what you call maintenance.
[37:29]
Sam Morril
That really is the most, like the Jewish born. Born in Manhattan. Lived in Manhattan your whole life.
[37:35]
Rachel Feinstein
Worthless dude.
[37:36]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah.
[37:37]
Stavros Halkias
Generous, though. He'd tip him well. But he would come up.
[37:44]
Rachel Feinstein
My Jewish powers are getting weaker.
[37:46]
Sam Morril
They be like, here you go.
[37:49]
Rachel Feinstein
They're like, you got to let go of it.
[37:59]
Sam Morril
It's like the end of Lord of the Rings.
[38:07]
Rachel Feinstein
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[38:26]
Sam Morril
The shadowy world of the Godfather slots.
[38:29]
Rachel Feinstein
Someday I will call upon you to do a service for me. Play the Godfather now@Champacasino.com Welcome to the family.
[38:37]
Stavros Halkias
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[38:41]
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[38:57]
Stavros Halkias
Calling the doorman to hang a picture is unbelievable. It's rockstar territory.
[39:01]
Sam Morril
I do. I do feel like I need to start learning some. I know handy skills. My dad. My. Also my father's carpenter, and, like, he was a very handy guy. And I think there was an element of, like, I'm not learning any of my dad's, like, an element of rebellion to me not doing any of that. But now I'm, like, embarrassed. And I have a friend who also grew up not handy at all. And then he's like. He's become in. Like, he likes it. He takes an interest in it. Like, if we have a minor plumbing thing, he'll be like, you know what? I'M just gonna like, he'll like spend all day on YouTube and learn. I'm like, I would love to have those skills. Skills. But going through the process of acquiring them seems like the worst thing of all time.
[39:40]
Stavros Halkias
It's never gonna happen.
[39:41]
Rachel Feinstein
I will say I've set up some stuff around there and you do feel satisfaction when it's done.
[39:46]
Sam Morril
Dude, I literally like put a one of those Brita filters that you put on the sink and all I do is like unscrew the like thing with like, I don't need pliers.
[39:56]
Stavros Halkias
He doesn't have any of the words available. He's like, all I did was the thing and put it in the thing.
[40:01]
Sam Morril
I don't think it's like, am I a man? I think it's something other than pliers. But it's a pliers like device and I had to fucking yank it and I was like, I'm fucking. I'm Tim the Toolman Taylor, dude. I'm the most handyman that's ever lived.
[40:17]
Stavros Halkias
Just because I this pliers esque device. I'm going to get mountains.
[40:26]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah.
[40:26]
Sam Morril
I'm a fucking handyman. Yeah.
[40:28]
Stavros Halkias
I mean my husband does all of that stuff.
[40:30]
Rachel Feinstein
He's handy. He's like, he's like a real man.
[40:32]
Stavros Halkias
I mean, he rebuilt our classic, man. Here's the problem. Like, but yeah, I mean, he's an emotional desert. But like he's. Yeah, but he's like, he goes, we're reinsulating the house when we moved in. And so I'm so Jewish that I was like, oh, when? Like on Thursday. Like, I didn't know that means gutting a house. Yes. I was like, oh, that'll be fun.
[40:48]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[40:48]
Stavros Halkias
And. And then it was just like two firemen over and we had no walls and I was living there with like a toddler. I'm like, you gutted my house. Yeah. I'm like, just go to therapy. That's.
[41:02]
Rachel Feinstein
Guys like me, like, I, I can't fix, but I can't tell who you like who has narcissistic personality disorder. I've got that skill down.
[41:08]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Very useful.
[41:09]
Rachel Feinstein
I'll diagnose people. I don't know about that guy.
[41:13]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[41:14]
Rachel Feinstein
In a, in a zombie scenario, I'm not very helpful.
[41:17]
Sam Morril
Right, right, right.
[41:18]
Rachel Feinstein
I don't like that guy. I think he's a. He's a.
[41:20]
Sam Morril
That's interesting. Do zombies lose all neurosis? I guess it's. They're just operating on a very base level.
[41:25]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah, I know. I'm not useful at all.
[41:26]
Sam Morril
It's just brain stem.
[41:28]
Stavros Halkias
They're, like, sleepwalking. There's not room for, like, a lot of fear.
[41:31]
Sam Morril
Yeah, there's not. No zombies. Feel imposter syndrome. They' I shouldn't even eat brains. I was a vegetarian when I was alive.
[41:42]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I mean, we have, like. We have, like, backup generators, you know, But, I mean, my husband's.
[41:47]
Rachel Feinstein
You have a real house.
[41:48]
Stavros Halkias
He only said I love you, I think, once in our relationship.
[41:51]
Rachel Feinstein
How many times do you think he's actually said it?
[41:54]
Stavros Halkias
Maybe twice. I mean, the first time.
[41:56]
Rachel Feinstein
Are you serious? Oh, see, I keep thinking she's using hyperbole for jokes, but it's like, this is, like, troubling.
[42:01]
Sam Morril
That's the awesome part of Rachel's stories.
[42:03]
Stavros Halkias
A couple of times. I mean, this is. But this is the way he said it the first time. He got me a dozen roses. We've been dating for, like, four and a half months. I'm like, when is this dick gonna say I love you? What the. It was Valentine's Day. He gives me the roses. There's a card inside. I open it up, and it says, roses. Fastest way to say I love you. Sides.
[42:22]
Sam Morril
Wow.
[42:25]
Stavros Halkias
Is this you saying I love you?
[42:29]
Sam Morril
It's in here.
[42:30]
Stavros Halkias
And he goes, no, Anthony, put that in there. In the fire from the firehouse or whatever.
[42:35]
Rachel Feinstein
I will say I'm bad of cards, too, though. Like, I did get my girlfriend a card because we went to Greece, and I got her a card with a sunset of Greece that said, you suck my weenie. And Santorini, which I thought was pretty good, but she did not laugh at all. It's a rough card, I guess.
[42:50]
Sam Morril
That's high risk, high reward, man.
[42:52]
Rachel Feinstein
I enjoyed it.
[42:52]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. I guess that's what you want her to give you. Like, in a perfect world, she's like, I sucked your weenie and Santorini. You would laugh really hard if you got that. But, yeah, I liked it. The first he said I love you in, like, in an obscene riddle. Like, your. Your. Your little card was like, it's in there somewhere.
[43:13]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. And then he said, anthony, for the firehouse. Put it in there, you know?
[43:16]
Sam Morril
So Anthony's now involved in this. So the first time he ever told you he loved you, Anthony kind of helped and was present.
[43:22]
Stavros Halkias
Exactly. And he still swears. He's like, I didn't even know it was there. So I'm like, okay. So now I'm like, back at square one. I'm like, yeah. So wait. He's like, yeah, of course. Course, course. Even after he proposed to me, I was like, what made. You know, like, I'm just digging for any fucking gram of Just.
[43:39]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[43:39]
Stavros Halkias
Just anything. Like, it's really. I'm just making a cake.
[43:42]
Sam Morril
You're like. You're like your mom.
[43:43]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah.
[43:44]
Sam Morril
It's like your mom really. Interrogating a minority who's clearly guilty of something and just trying to find a reason why he's not. Like, that's. That's. You're like, that is fucking.
[43:57]
Rachel Feinstein
That is good.
[43:57]
Stavros Halkias
Genius.
[43:58]
Rachel Feinstein
That is really good.
[43:58]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. I was like, so when did you first know? You know, he goes, I mean, it'll be fun. You know, we'll get it. We'll get a house. We'll get a moment. I'm like, I asked you what a mower? He said, we'll get a lawnmower.
[44:08]
Sam Morril
Get a nice house.
[44:09]
Stavros Halkias
You know, I'm like, you're just talking about, like, things you want to buy with.
[44:12]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[44:12]
Rachel Feinstein
Appliances.
[44:14]
Sam Morril
Well, that's the package of life I'm on. It's got a wife and a moa. And you're as good as any wife I could have got, I guess, you.
[44:20]
Rachel Feinstein
Know, she's playing the Sims. This is ridiculous.
[44:24]
Stavros Halkias
That is fucking.
[44:25]
Sam Morril
I vow to never put you in the swimming pool and then take out the ladder so that you cannot get out and that you eventually drown, like they do sometimes on the Sims. I vow to never build a house and then take out all the doors and then set it on fire.
[44:41]
Stavros Halkias
No, he can't.
[44:42]
Sam Morril
He's not even in this.
[44:44]
Stavros Halkias
Like, I'll be like, do I look okay? I go, does this look nice? The other day, he goes, denim. I'm like, you can't just scream out of. I'm like, yeah, you can't scream out of fabric. Yeah. Sometimes, like, have you ever loved me? I'll be like, 3% spandex, rayon blend.
[45:02]
Sam Morril
Sometimes I wonder if. If, like, there is, like, especially. It's like, athletes or firefighters or just like, even cops or whoever's around a group of guys.
[45:12]
Stavros Halkias
My ex. Boyfriends.
[45:13]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I. That's so funny, because I was gonna say all that type of like, sometimes I wonder. It's like the people they actually love are their boys, you know? And sometimes I felt that way about myself where it's like, I have always lived with my best friends. Like, even. You know, even the place in Baltimore I got with a buddy because I'm only there half the time. He's. He's there half the time. But it's like. So there's a. There's a level of emotional immaturity where you're like, I like women, but I'm still fundamentally scared of opening up to them.
[45:46]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah.
[45:46]
Sam Morril
But I can. But I can open up to my guys in this specific way now. I'd love to have a woman in my life. And so in my head, I'm like, there's like a. Somewhere between teenage boy and grown man where you're like, maybe I can love my friends, but a woman. You know what I mean?
[46:04]
Stavros Halkias
Maybe there's exactly, exactly. My husband, too. He's never had a female friend in his life.
[46:11]
Rachel Feinstein
We found a job that's, like, almost like a play.
[46:13]
Sam Morril
Perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just hanging out with the boys. Even your job, unless it gets, like, bad, is kind of fun. Yeah.
[46:20]
Stavros Halkias
Oh, they love it. And not to mention, at the. Like, they undo everything accomplished with them in 24 hours, sitting there smoking fat sticks, listening to, like, every conspiracy theory that's been edited into a YouTube video.
[46:38]
Sam Morril
Oh, hell yeah.
[46:39]
Stavros Halkias
So I'm so much worse. Half of them are divorced, too, so they're, like, furious at women.
[46:44]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
[46:47]
Stavros Halkias
Every other firefighter is divorced. Every time he comes home, he's like, guess who got divorce? And I'm like, I get even more of a dick today. Yeah. Like, he always definitely thinks I'm, like, up to things when I'm. And also, I'm like, he's been told by many people that women are suspicious.
[47:05]
Sam Morril
Right, Right.
[47:06]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. No, he's not. There's no.
[47:08]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, he's.
[47:09]
Stavros Halkias
And then there's no emotional anything.
[47:12]
Sam Morril
That's good. And this is the best. This is the best relationship you've ever been in.
[47:15]
Stavros Halkias
That's what Alan Le says.
[47:19]
Sam Morril
You know what? I'm starting to think that guy's running a real scam. Because all my friends lives are not going that good. And we all see him. I gotta find. I just fucking Venmo that motherfucker. A nice fat stack. I'm gonna ask for it back. Yeah, I mean, I guess at some point you're like, all right, get a mower. Get a husband. At a certain point, it's all shopping, you know, Just wrap it up.
[47:47]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, and that's what he likes to talk about, too. Like, he'll be like, the other day, like, he was like, guess who got a Mazda? Finnegan's got a Mazda. That's not a story. And he was just like. He waited, like I was going to care about this. He's like a brand new motor. I'm like, do you know your, like, audience There's a real supply and demand issue with this.
[48:06]
Sam Morril
What's the What. How, like, does he. What's the. What's a firefighter dad like with a little girl? That must be pretty cute.
[48:13]
Stavros Halkias
No, he's obsessed with my. My daughter. That's how I knew that he was capable of love.
[48:25]
Sam Morril
That's good.
[48:26]
Stavros Halkias
That the first time he held my daughter broke my heart.
[48:29]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Yeah. And that's when I knew I'd have to get that little back. Now just you again become the villain we like. She stole my man right out from under me.
[48:39]
Stavros Halkias
Everything I'd ever asked him to do, he did. When I had a daughter. Like, I was like, you need to stop drinking as soon as I gave my daughter, like, yeah. And I'd be like, you gotta come home when you get off work. He races home now, you know, like, so. Yeah, I do know. He has the capacity for love. Can we play some soft piano music?
[48:59]
Sam Morril
That's right. You're the most emotionally healthy person on this podcast. Somehow True. You got me. And Sam Beat eldest actually, is doing fine over there.
[49:08]
Stavros Halkias
Whenever I watch him gently encouraging her, like a low roll, tears comes down.
[49:13]
Sam Morril
My face, showing her gr.
[49:17]
Stavros Halkias
She's doing, like, a spin in her princess nightgown. He's like, you're beautiful just the way you are. And I'm just like you said I was denim.
[49:28]
Rachel Feinstein
You just walk in. I love you. You're like, what the. Just one. Give me one. Can I piss real quick?
[49:35]
Sam Morril
Yeah, go for it. Take a look. Take a little piss break. This freaking guy in his little ass bladder, you know what I'm saying?
[49:43]
Stavros Halkias
He did. Are we still rolling?
[49:44]
Sam Morril
Yeah, we can roll. Who cares? He did. Did.
[49:46]
Stavros Halkias
When Frankie was throwing a tantrum the other. Like, he doesn't. He, like, loves being a dad. They're, like, inseparable, the two of them. But, like, he doesn't have, obviously, the emotional instincts in a lot of situations.
[49:57]
Sam Morril
Of course.
[49:58]
Stavros Halkias
So Frankie is throwing a tantrum on the floor at the top of her lungs, screaming. And I was like, listen, when a kid throws a tantrum, just don't engage. Wait for it to end. Don't make eye the same thing I do with you, basically, when you're screaming.
[50:09]
Sam Morril
When you're screaming about Biden.
[50:14]
Stavros Halkias
You know when I used to chase you on a beach when you were drunk screaming about George Washington and I should have just.
[50:20]
Sam Morril
How he's rolling in his grave with his mouth full of slave teeth.
[50:27]
Stavros Halkias
So, like, that's what you do. You just ignore it, you know? So, like, I go, don't make wait for it to be done. There's no engaging. So Frankie. But he can't stand to see her sad. She, like, you know. Yeah. Like, so she's in the middle of a tantrum, screaming at the top her lungs. And I was just telling Sam, this is screaming at the top of her lungs. And he goes, so, do you want a dog? I'm like, oh, my God.
[50:54]
Rachel Feinstein
A dog.
[50:55]
Stavros Halkias
When they're, like, kicking you in the chest, having a tantrum. Yeah, you. I asked him for a dog before, and he's like, schedules. It's not a good idea.
[51:05]
Sam Morril
Wow. I was. My mom was telling me, it's funny the stuff you, like, hear about yourself as a. Like, just off parents just, like, mention random things. She said I was always like, I was a really great, like, baby, but I would just have, out of nowhere, insane tantrums that I would just. And I was like, you know what? That really makes sense.
[51:25]
Stavros Halkias
Do you have it now? Do you have anger?
[51:27]
Sam Morril
I get. I think it's like, when I would have, like, panic. I think I was having panic attacks as a baby, because I will. I would. And I have anger problems too, but I would just. I definitely feel. I definitely freak out. And I think as you grow up, you learn to just, like, you know, just be like, this sucks dick. And just like, whatever I thought you're.
[51:45]
Rachel Feinstein
Gonna say, surround yourself with weak people who have to deal with your anger.
[51:50]
Sam Morril
You just learn to spit on your Albanian producer and say it's his fault and be like, it better. The edit better be ready in a hour. I swear to God, it's gonna.
[51:59]
Rachel Feinstein
I personally, I definitely have anger problems, too. Like, I don't realize it until, like, because it's all in here. But, yeah, I feel it, dude. Yeah. It'll be moments where I'm like, You see it on, like, you know, travel hiccups and stuff like that. Give me a fucking.
[52:14]
Sam Morril
Of course. Of course.
[52:15]
Stavros Halkias
I've never seen you really lose it.
[52:17]
Rachel Feinstein
No.
[52:17]
Stavros Halkias
I've never seen you scream. I've seen you be really mad at other people. And I'm always like, here's how insecure I am. I'm always, like, so flattered that he's never been that angry.
[52:26]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[52:27]
Stavros Halkias
I'm like, oh, my God, he's so much more angry at the travel agent than he is.
[52:31]
Rachel Feinstein
Travel agent? What is this, 1992? I don't have a travel agent.
[52:35]
Sam Morril
Well, Rachel just got a bank account. She doesn't know you can get fucking. Doesn't know you can get airplane tickets online yet. Either.
[52:43]
Stavros Halkias
What's Expedia? I just appeared kids. And I don't know.
[52:47]
Rachel Feinstein
Hello, travel agent. Where's Wisconsin? I just did this for a phone. By the way. I'm doing the same thing now.
[52:55]
Sam Morril
You are. I know. It is embarrassing. Kids are. You just have to do this now or you look like a old peach of. Yeah, it is.
[53:02]
Stavros Halkias
So what makes you angry? Like, what do you scream about? Like what? And do you scream?
[53:06]
Sam Morril
No, No. I just think it was just interesting to hear that anecdote because it makes so much sense. Because I definitely sometimes feel like it's interesting to hear about it. When you were a baby, before all your family's neuroses got to you, because I always assumed the anger stuff was because my dad had an anger problem. And it's like learned behavior, which it definitely is, partially. But she was saying, like, I would have tangents that I was like, so small. And I do think it's just because I definitely feel that where there's some. Some happens and I'm like, I'm useless for like 10 minutes to a half hour sometimes. And I'm like, I can't imagine a baby feeling that way. Like, how much you would. It would, you know, a baby would freak out. It's like, your life's awesome. And then all of a sudden you're like, I'm dying. And you're like, you don't even know what death. You just feel so bad. You go from like watching Big Bird to being like, ah.
[53:57]
Stavros Halkias
What would your parents do when you would melt down like that?
[54:00]
Sam Morril
I don't know. I think you just kind of have to ride it out.
[54:02]
Stavros Halkias
Look at me, Diane Sawyer over here.
[54:04]
Sam Morril
I don't think. I don't think I'll say this. Whatever it was, it wasn't the right thing. Because I definitely didn't learn how to regulate my emotions.
[54:12]
Stavros Halkias
You know what my parents used to do? And by the way, my mom is a therapist. My brother was always bright red and throwing like a never ending tantrum. I'm just remember looking at him like, I'm gonna take some space from that guy.
[54:21]
Sam Morril
He's on the wrong train.
[54:23]
Stavros Halkias
My mom would just put him in the backyard and she was just like, oh, Aaron's throwing a tantrum. Get him in the backyard. Just put it back there and shut the door. And our back. Our neighbor behind us used to bring him back to my mom and like, bang on the door and be like, karen, come on. And she, Jesus, he's having a tantrum.
[54:44]
Rachel Feinstein
Put him in the hot car for a While.
[54:46]
Sam Morril
See what happens.
[54:49]
Rachel Feinstein
Damn, that is hilarious.
[54:50]
Stavros Halkias
He was just always like, in a diaper, bright red in our backyard until Bruce Baum came up and banged on the door. He's like, karen, she's like, I'm making potatoes, Bruce. I need seven freaking minutes. Like, no, she didn't feel bad about it.
[55:02]
Rachel Feinstein
You're getting your daughter a dog when she has a tantrum. You went the other way with it. Yeah.
[55:06]
Sam Morril
He made your son a dog.
[55:07]
Stavros Halkias
Thank God. I was like, we're not getting.
[55:09]
Sam Morril
He's rather digging bones. Putting him in the backyard to calm himself down.
[55:13]
Rachel Feinstein
He's peeing. He's lifting his leg up.
[55:16]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Now to come, he has to be wearing a collar. What kind of baby were you, Sammy?
[55:23]
Rachel Feinstein
I was. You know, my mom, I was a. So funny. I was a raised by a single mom for the first few years, so I was like, her everything. She was on top of everything. But I just did gigs in Europe and I'm in. I did a gig in Sweden, and apparently my godfather lives in Sweden. He's like a much older man.
[55:40]
Sam Morril
Interesting.
[55:40]
Rachel Feinstein
And I was like, he's like, very. My mom's like, he can't obviously want tickets to the show. She's like, I think that would be a little too much for Johan.
[55:46]
Sam Morril
And I was like, is this guy.
[55:48]
Rachel Feinstein
I a friend of my mom's? But it's like. I'm like, yeah, I do have a joke about coming in sinks right now.
[55:53]
Sam Morril
I should probably.
[55:54]
Rachel Feinstein
He's like a posh Swedish man, but. But I was like, man, that would have been my life if my mom died. I just would have been raised by like a gay Swedish man.
[56:03]
Sam Morril
I was like, I would have been a different life. You don't. You. You don't know him that much at all.
[56:07]
Rachel Feinstein
I know him a little bit, but he's just like a very. Like, I get his newsletter. He does. Like, a newsletter.
[56:13]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[56:13]
Sam Morril
Because your mom's an artist, right? So he must have been.
[56:16]
Rachel Feinstein
I don't know what his job is, actually. He's like, it's some sort of, like, important job. I don't know him well. That's the thing. But this is a very.
[56:22]
Stavros Halkias
So he's your godfather. Do you say?
[56:24]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[56:24]
Rachel Feinstein
Isn't that kind of weird?
[56:25]
Sam Morril
Is that.
[56:26]
Stavros Halkias
I didn't know the Jews had godfathers.
[56:28]
Rachel Feinstein
I guess we did. I don't know.
[56:29]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[56:29]
Rachel Feinstein
Like, I told my mom, I was like, so if you died, I would have been raised in Sweden? She's like, yeah. I'm like, you didn't think that's weird?
[56:36]
Ryan
Are you sure?
[56:38]
Stavros Halkias
Ex boyfriend?
[56:39]
Rachel Feinstein
No, he's gay.
[56:40]
Stavros Halkias
Oh, he's gay. Right, Right.
[56:41]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah, but he. No, my mom was a super protective. It's funny you're talking about, like, kids being raised because I have a half brother I've never met. So I think about, like, that nature, nurture shit when you talk about, you know, your siblings. But, like, I was like, oh, I wonder if he's similar to me.
[56:54]
Stavros Halkias
Wait, where's your half brother?
[56:55]
Rachel Feinstein
He's in California somewhere.
[56:57]
Stavros Halkias
Have you ever interacted with him or.
[56:58]
Rachel Feinstein
No, no. I floated it to my biological father once, and I was like, yeah, I wonder if we should meet sometime. He goes, yeah, you know, I brought it up to him. He didn't seem to bite. And I was like, all right, I'm going to drop that forever.
[57:08]
Sam Morril
Yeah, maybe he's a lot more in common with dad than I realized.
[57:13]
Rachel Feinstein
If I get a little more successful.
[57:15]
Sam Morril
Maybe I'll reach out.
[57:16]
Stavros Halkias
By the way, your biological father joke is, like, one of my favorite jokes.
[57:18]
Sam Morril
Great joke. Really worth it.
[57:26]
Stavros Halkias
Somebody asked if he has a good relationship with his biology. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't refer to him as my biological father if we had a great. Also, one of my favorite, probably most traumatizing to you stories about your father, biological father is when Sam, you lived.
[57:41]
Sam Morril
With him for a while. You saw him drunk on a street corner. You're like, that's my guy.
[57:47]
Rachel Feinstein
He looked like Judd Hirsch. And she was like, I could make this work.
[57:51]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, he does sound like my. No, I will say, I know he was a terrible father, and I do feel. But he was a great lay. Why?
[58:03]
Rachel Feinstein
You're talking about the. The note in the. In the deposit box.
[58:06]
Stavros Halkias
Okay. Yes. It's one of the funniest things.
[58:08]
Sam Morril
I'd love to hear this.
[58:09]
Stavros Halkias
He told me that when he finally confronted his dad or something about basically abandoning him in his earlier years, his dad was like, there's a note in a deposit box that'll explain everything at the bank. Like, this isn't a spy movie.
[58:21]
Sam Morril
It's not the Hunt for Red October, by the way.
[58:23]
Rachel Feinstein
It was a paragraph and a half.
[58:25]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[58:26]
Rachel Feinstein
I was like, you didn't really get too much here.
[58:27]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, sorry. I kind found the chick with bigger tits. You're like, you know what? I get it.
[58:38]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah.
[58:38]
Sam Morril
He.
[58:38]
Stavros Halkias
He's like, there's. It'll explain everything. You can't do that. You can't. And by the way, you can't tell your kid that, like, there's seven more years till he's gonna read that no. How about be a father?
[58:47]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
[58:48]
Stavros Halkias
Instead, he's like, there's a wacky map that'll explain everything at the chase.
[58:53]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah. You have to do it upside down, hold it under a black light. It's untrained, erasable. It's just clues. National treasure.
[59:02]
Rachel Feinstein
What does that say? I. I got bored.
[59:05]
Sam Morril
Oh, okay. It sounded pretty annoying to be a dad. One minute you're raw dogging, the next minute you gotta raise a baby. No, thanks.
[59:20]
Stavros Halkias
You're like a deadbeat dad. You're not Jason Bourne.
[59:22]
Sam Morril
What the.
[59:24]
Stavros Halkias
Outrageous. It's outrageous. When you actually went and did you expect it to be something like.
[59:29]
Rachel Feinstein
No. You know, no. You just. You just. It's curiosity. Whenever I. It's funny. A lot of people reach out to me about this stuff because they have. It's such a normal thing. Now. The nuclear family is, like, not even normal, but all the time. People reach out and all, and they'll be like, what should I expect? I'm like, nothing.
[59:44]
Sam Morril
Nothing?
[59:45]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah, nothing. Just if you do it, if you're curious about and, you know, if you have health. If he. If he has health stuff.
[59:50]
Sam Morril
Right.
[59:51]
Rachel Feinstein
I'm like, oh, cool. You also gave me prostate problems.
[59:53]
Sam Morril
That'll be nice.
[59:55]
Rachel Feinstein
He had, like, prostate cancer and stuff. He's. He's still alive. Terrible. People live forever. They really do.
[60:00]
Sam Morril
I know.
[60:00]
Rachel Feinstein
It's like abandoning your kids is like eating Atlantic salmon.
[60:03]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[60:04]
Rachel Feinstein
It's so good for you.
[60:05]
Sam Morril
I mean, people say. People say stress is the worst thing for you. And deadbeat dads don't have a lot of stress. They're never up late. You know what I mean?
[60:15]
Rachel Feinstein
Child support payment? I don't think so.
[60:18]
Sam Morril
Not for me. Like, if you're the kind of guy that the guilt of abandoning a baby won't get to you, you're probably not too many things. Probably don't stress you out. Yeah.
[60:27]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah.
[60:27]
Stavros Halkias
You're never gonna have that moment, right. When you think, like, oh, I'll confront him. It'll all come out like, yeah, that wasn't like.
[60:33]
Rachel Feinstein
That's like a movie thing or. It's like, even think about your siblings. Like, you have a very good relationship with your siblings. I mean, you're really close with your siblings. But I think, like, most times when you see in a movie, when people are just like, you know, they're like, finishing each other's sentences. Brother and sister. I'm like, that's. When I talk to my brother and sister. It's like, there'll be, like, an awkward silence here and There. It's just not real.
[60:49]
Sam Morril
Sure? Yeah, absolutely, Absolutely.
[60:51]
Rachel Feinstein
Absolutely.
[60:51]
Stavros Halkias
And did you. Did you look at me?
[60:54]
Sam Morril
No, go ahead. Go ahead.
[60:55]
Stavros Halkias
I need to shut up. By the way, I just explained my dating history and I'm like. And. And when did you first feel frightened?
[61:04]
Sam Morril
Well, if you'd like, Rachel, we can take your expertise to our call.
[61:10]
Rachel Feinstein
Last time I was on here with Veto, I feel like we got one of the most epic ones of all time.
[61:13]
Sam Morril
We got some great ones.
[61:14]
Rachel Feinstein
That was an epic one.
[61:15]
Sam Morril
That was a dead. Not a deadbeat, but it was like a guy.
[61:18]
Rachel Feinstein
Should I. Yeah.
[61:19]
Sam Morril
Should I get back in? Yeah. So let's see what we got. Let's see what elders cooked up for us. My guess is not anything that good.
[61:26]
Joe List
Nothing as good as that one.
[61:27]
Rachel Feinstein
But there's some good ones here.
[61:31]
Sam Morril
What do we got?
[61:33]
Ryan
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[61:59]
Stavros Halkias
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[62:00]
Rachel Feinstein
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[62:03]
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[62:20]
Caller 1
Hey, Stavi Eldis and guest or guests. First time caller, but longtime listener and patreon.
[62:28]
Sam Morril
Very nice.
[62:29]
Caller 1
I just called in with a question, but I just wanted to kind of give a bit more details and maybe talk about a little bit more. But it just ended a relationship with a woman that I've been dating for the last like year and a half who had some pretty intense mental health.
[62:46]
Rachel Feinstein
Let me handle this one, guys.
[62:48]
Caller 1
And I had a pretty hard time kind of getting past this. You know, I had to kind of end it to preserve, you know, to preserve myself because she was kind of lashing out and hurting me and wanting to control me. But, you know, it's hard because, you know, you love someone you like, you understand where a lot of the problems come from. And you know, they've had a pretty, really hard life for a lot of people. Rachel's mom, school of thought originated or whatever. And yeah, just, you know, you love someone, you understand, and it's really hard not to. At least for me, not to have a lot of regret about, you know, what I could have done, what we could have done differently. And, you know, I'm going to go see a therapist.
[63:42]
Sam Morril
I'm hoping for any advice to how.
[63:44]
Caller 1
To move, move past dating someone with, you know, there's some, like, incredibly great moments. Like so many high highs, but the lows were, like, really hard.
[63:57]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[63:58]
Caller 1
And also so just, you know, in addition, it's. For the last year and a half, I've been having by far the best sex in my life.
[64:04]
Sam Morril
And there it is.
[64:06]
Stavros Halkias
Of course, the more lithium, the better the sex.
[64:11]
Caller 1
For the last year and a half, I've been having by far the best sex in my life. That's what the real incredibly beautiful, attractive, sexy, horny, awesome woman.
[64:22]
Sam Morril
This is awesome.
[64:23]
Caller 1
Who I just ended a relationship with.
[64:26]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[64:26]
Caller 1
So, yeah, any advice would be helpful because I'm really going through it right now and I'm doing everything in my power not to, you know, text her and ask for her back. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Yeah. Love to hear back. Thanks.
[64:45]
Rachel Feinstein
Chemically imbalanced women are for one night stands, not long term. I mean, get it together in terms of calling her back. Make Bogey your screen saver on your phone. Look at it. Be strong. Don't call her back.
[64:58]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[64:58]
Rachel Feinstein
What do you think? This is not. This is.
[65:00]
Sam Morril
It's awesome that you think Humphrey Bogart is. What?
[65:03]
Stavros Halkias
That was the most confusing part.
[65:05]
Rachel Feinstein
That's a man's man right there. He remind you. Look at the thing. Casablanca. You're like, nah, you don't. You don't. You let her go.
[65:12]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[65:13]
Stavros Halkias
By the way, he said it with no explanation.
[65:15]
Sam Morril
Yeah. I only got it because we're such, such good friends. But that's an insane thing to tell us. A man in 2024.
[65:22]
Stavros Halkias
Followed by the most insightful paragraph ever. That's a classic, Sam. Like, every one of his texts is just like. He's either screaming about the Knicks.
[65:28]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[65:29]
Stavros Halkias
Like Casablanca was epic. And then he's like, I'm still holding on to a lot of anger at my dad. What a powerful.
[65:37]
Sam Morril
Just print out. Print out the screenplay of Gone with the Wind and read that. And just every time you want to this girl. I mean. Yeah, dude. I mean, how many times can you wake up with a hand blender pointed at your nuts before you realize it's time to fucking call it, dude. It's done. I don't know what to tell you, brother. This is going to be hard. You know what this is? It's. It's literally like giving up drugs. You were. This is. This is a rush. Someone this hot and good at fucking you and. But bad for you. It's literally like you're detoxing off a drug. It's like any breakup times 10. No contact. Get. Get your mind off it. Maybe you're not ready to seriously date. You might need to just focus. See your friends do other but like.
[66:25]
Rachel Feinstein
Jack off a lot.
[66:26]
Sam Morril
Jack off a. Jack off a. Flapping.
[66:28]
Stavros Halkias
Around in your bed right now looking up the most haunting things.
[66:31]
Sam Morril
You should be putting up middle school numbers right now.
[66:34]
Rachel Feinstein
Goes. These are full nut texts.
[66:36]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Yeah. These are.
[66:37]
Rachel Feinstein
These are an empty ball text. You need to empty the sack.
[66:41]
Sam Morril
Gotta clear the. Gotta. Gotta empty the clip.
[66:44]
Rachel Feinstein
Do not empty the clip.
[66:45]
Sam Morril
Gotta empty the clip, brother.
[66:47]
Rachel Feinstein
Scream thug life and empty the cliff.
[66:49]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[66:49]
Rachel Feinstein
Get. Get the nuts clear. Get the mind clear.
[66:52]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[66:52]
Rachel Feinstein
Because this is. These are. You're horny you. I mean, of course I'm sure you missed the good times too. I'm not trying to minimize a relationship.
[66:58]
Sam Morril
He truly doesn't. Let's. The good times were.
[67:01]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah.
[67:02]
Sam Morril
You know what I mean? Like.
[67:03]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, no, I do think that if you want to I would say give her a call, find out what that first critical trauma traumatic incident was for.
[67:16]
Sam Morril
Her and see if you can take.
[67:18]
Stavros Halkias
Her to your therapist. Always works. When I was with a guy that put like spyware on my phone and I was like, can you take my therapist with me?
[67:28]
Rachel Feinstein
Talked a lot of about that guy that he apparently heard. I was like, that guy's a tool. Glad to know he's got anger problems.
[67:38]
Sam Morril
Hello, Sam.
[67:39]
Stavros Halkias
I had to set him and say he was like so like every male friend that I had, he was so obsessively jealous with that I had to like set him up in these dates with him. So I was like, hey Sam, we go have a drink with my.
[67:48]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah. I was really pumped for that, man. Oh my God. She's like, please, it would mean a lot to me. So he's not suspicious of you.
[67:54]
Sam Morril
You're out of your mind.
[67:55]
Stavros Halkias
You use.
[67:56]
Rachel Feinstein
And I did it. I agree.
[67:57]
Sam Morril
Rachel used so much friendship. Capital on that. That's insane.
[68:01]
Rachel Feinstein
Oh, dude. She owed big time for that. And he got. I watched this dude have like eight Jamesons on the rocks and then he hugged me for way too long and I was like, I don't like this guy.
[68:11]
Sam Morril
All right, Sam, I want to go check. Let's talk to the bartender real quick. Good hanging, though, man.
[68:19]
Stavros Halkias
By the way, it wasn't my idea. It was his. I just didn't want to black.
[68:22]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[68:23]
Rachel Feinstein
He's like, yeah, I'll do. I'll do it. Sit down with Sam like the Sopranos. I don't want to talk to you. I don't like you. Every time I did a straight up friendship with Rachel.
[68:34]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[68:35]
Stavros Halkias
No, every time I would get to my. I was writing a pilot at the time, and every time I would get to the pilot offices, it was like he was just sitting outside just with this wild look in his eyes, like.
[68:44]
Rachel Feinstein
Like he was shaking.
[68:45]
Sam Morril
So.
[68:45]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, she was shaking with rage. Soda. Giannis would be like, hey, your. Your boyfriend's on the steps again. Or whatever.
[68:51]
Rachel Feinstein
He was shaking.
[68:54]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[68:54]
Stavros Halkias
And every time, he would always fake a panic attack, like, to, like. He would always be like, sympathy, I need you. Or he'd be like, One time, he was like, I had a heart attack. You didn't. I mean, you didn't have a heart attack. You still like that? I'm editing in a room with two other men in it. He was always.
[69:07]
Rachel Feinstein
I was in that room, too. Remember that?
[69:08]
Sam Morril
Now, let me ask you this, because with women, that insane pussy's incredible. A guy like that doesn't seem like he'd be good at fucking.
[69:16]
Stavros Halkias
He's pretty good.
[69:17]
Sam Morril
He was. All right, well, I take it back.
[69:19]
Rachel Feinstein
He's listening right now. He's like, I'm right back in.
[69:21]
Sam Morril
And I'm in the game, baby.
[69:23]
Rachel Feinstein
Back in the game.
[69:24]
Sam Morril
I'm in the game. Her fire fighter husband has one big crypto loss. And I'm back.
[69:33]
Stavros Halkias
No, I mean, yeah. Stay far away from this.
[69:35]
Sam Morril
Yes.
[69:36]
Rachel Feinstein
People are great in the sec. No. Everyone knows that.
[69:38]
Sam Morril
Sure. And sometimes I actually believe at a certain point, you're never going to fix yourself. No one's going to. You're never fully going to fix what's wrong with you. And sometimes the. The ideal is that your mental illnesses align in a perfect way where you're good for each other, because you're not going to find somebody super fully healthy. You're not going to be super healthy ever. So. But this is not that at all. There's my. There might be somewhere out somebody out there for her. There's definitely somewhere out somebody out there for you, but you got to stay away. They're just. It's just classic breakup rules, man. There's no secret. They're not. There's no easier way to get through it just because the girl was hot.
[70:15]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. And if you left something in her house or something, just try to be an adult about it.
[70:19]
Sam Morril
Just be like, even get it.
[70:20]
Stavros Halkias
Just be like, look, I left a hair in your sink, so maybe I.
[70:25]
Sam Morril
Could just come in and just chill for like three to four days.
[70:27]
Stavros Halkias
Neutral location, like Cancun.
[70:30]
Sam Morril
And.
[70:34]
Stavros Halkias
No, no contact at all. It will only get worse and it never gets better. Like, I've dragged every one of these guys to a therapist and.
[70:42]
Rachel Feinstein
Oh, same. I've done that too.
[70:43]
Stavros Halkias
Doesn't make a dent.
[70:44]
Rachel Feinstein
Last I did one where we did a couple's therapy once and I was like, she just rattled off all the. She like, hates about me. And I was like, well, you know, I'm not happy either. She looked like. And the therapist looked like, yeah, I mean, clearly this is a two sided relationship. But she was like, how dare he have problems? I was like, oh, that's. That was helpful actually. And I could tell he. There was a moment where he was like, yeah, this is bullshit.
[71:10]
Sam Morril
Yeah. The therapist like, well, I'm. I'm getting paid for this whole hour, but we could stop, right? Yeah, yeah.
[71:16]
Rachel Feinstein
I'm paying to listen to this.
[71:17]
Stavros Halkias
What are. Whenever Sam dated, like, crazy women. I will say so.
[71:20]
Sam Morril
Whenever Sam's dated anyone.
[71:23]
Stavros Halkias
Except he finally got the coolest fucking girlfriend ever. Who's the best for sure.
[71:27]
Sam Morril
She's awesome.
[71:28]
Stavros Halkias
She's actually like, yeah, there's no. The easiest person, the coolest fucking every girl before her. I mean like a lot of the. Sorry, let me get less specific.
[71:39]
Sam Morril
Let's just say Sam's had a type.
[71:41]
Stavros Halkias
I will say that Sam is. But he's such a comic that even when he's in the middle of complaining, he'll be like, that's funny, right? Like, yeah, yeah.
[71:49]
Sam Morril
Some might call that a mental illness.
[71:54]
Rachel Feinstein
You're not in therapy. I don't think he wants to be like, is there anything there?
[71:56]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Hey, did you record this guy?
[71:59]
Stavros Halkias
Listen back to an impression of this girl he was once dating, like years ago. Scream. Crying. It was one of the funniest impressions I've ever heard. He's like, I've been up all night. She. And I was like, what happened? What was she doing? He was like, just screaming like.
[72:18]
Sam Morril
She.
[72:19]
Stavros Halkias
Screams for like six hours in a row. But it is funny.
[72:21]
Sam Morril
Like, but I. I might get 90 seconds out of that. I might get a nice chunk.
[72:27]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah, night terrors are fun. That's a fun one.
[72:30]
Sam Morril
I used to be. I used to have night. I used to get up and walk around and me and my bros would like scream. And I didn't feel. I don't know what the it was. I didn't have, like, nightmares. I just would like, be like, ah. And I would be fine. It was so weird.
[72:42]
Stavros Halkias
Really. And when did it stop?
[72:44]
Sam Morril
I don't know. I guess. I mean, I never. It wasn't a problem in college, so I can only assume by then.
[72:50]
Stavros Halkias
So all you and both your brothers had night terrors.
[72:53]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[72:53]
Stavros Halkias
And you just wake up in the middle of night screaming.
[72:55]
Sam Morril
Somebody would be screaming. Yeah.
[72:57]
Rachel Feinstein
No, I've heard. I don't think I've had it. But I mean, she had updated couple with night terrors.
[73:02]
Sam Morril
Couple.
[73:03]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[73:03]
Rachel Feinstein
It's very strange, statistically.
[73:05]
Sam Morril
That's insane.
[73:06]
Rachel Feinstein
It is crazy. And also, by the way, both white girls in the suburbs, they didn't fucking serve in noms. Just screaming like crazy.
[73:13]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Interesting. Well, anyway, man, just, you know, if you need any more information. Yeah, just go hit her up. Who gives a. Next question.
[73:23]
Caller 2
Hey, Stavy.
[73:24]
Sam Morril
Hey.
[73:24]
Caller 2
Elvis hopes I can get some advice for somebody who's newly back out on the dating market. And it's been a couple years. I was, you know, dealing with some sickness and I don't know, back, back, ready to go though Dayton. And I've noticed that people just refuse to wear condoms anymore. Like, condoms are gone. What happened? Feels like every time, you know, get to that point with a dude, he's like, surprised that I'm like, okay, where's the condom, people?
[73:56]
Sam Morril
That's kind of wild.
[74:00]
Caller 2
Condom. And I don't know if that's like, like, like, I don't know, an evolution and things in the last couple of years. But I just got done bring Darwin into this. Like, not out here trying to catch anything. I mean, I guess I could get on prep. I don't know. But the biggest thing is I live in Texas.
[74:18]
Rachel Feinstein
What the.
[74:19]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[74:20]
Caller 2
If I couldn't even leave the state or they'd like, send someone after me, you know, like, it's just not time or place.
[74:25]
Sam Morril
You don't have to explain why you want to wear condoms with strangers. Juno too.
[74:29]
Rachel Feinstein
It's a road trip abortion movie.
[74:36]
Sam Morril
That sounds like a good movie.
[74:37]
Caller 2
Honestly, I don't know, people. I feel like some kind of Pollyanna now out here. Like, I don't know, lower my expectations.
[74:46]
Sam Morril
No. I don't know.
[74:46]
Caller 2
What do you think? Or if I, you know, how do I not sound like a complete idiot asking people to cover up before we. I don't know.
[74:55]
Stavros Halkias
Have I met a Woman that's less confident than you.
[74:58]
Sam Morril
I know, I know. It's like, what, what are we? Time machine? A 17 year old Rachel Feinstein.
[75:05]
Rachel Feinstein
I mean, as, as Road Comics, I think Stavi and I were always down to wrap it up.
[75:10]
Sam Morril
Of course you kind of have to.
[75:12]
Rachel Feinstein
Well, it's also like this decision.
[75:13]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything else. I love that she's like, am I being Pollyannish about this? It's like, no, you're. You're not. Not what? You're still feel like this is crazy. No, you just have to. What Rachel said is correct. You have to have a little more self respect and a little more self esteem. Maybe you're like, you're getting back out there. So you feel a little, you know, you're feeling a little insecure, whatever. But it is insanely reasonable. It's like beyond reasonable for you to be like, where's a condom?
[75:46]
Stavros Halkias
No. Yeah, you'll. Otherwise you'll be teeming with a cocktail of diseases. You can't. Because. Yeah, you can't. If the guy that doesn't want to wear a condom is the guy that needs to wear a condom.
[75:57]
Sam Morril
Absolutely.
[75:57]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[75:58]
Sam Morril
And the gentleman that you know will wear a condom. But if you don't make him, you know, that's a good guy. He will. If you don't insist. He's just like kind of taking his cues from you. That's a cool guy. You don't have to worry about him. He's awesome, he's fun.
[76:14]
Stavros Halkias
He wears vacation tops.
[76:16]
Sam Morril
What's that?
[76:16]
Rachel Feinstein
Girl I've known for two hours. You're on birth control control. I trust you.
[76:23]
Sam Morril
No, no much. At least 12 hours. But yeah. No. This is, this is just such a clear and simple. You are fully in the right. You shouldn't like you should not raw dog. Unless you feel. Unless you really know someone. You feel. And every person you. You don't even have to. I've been in relationships where we wear conditions because someone was off birth. Like their birth control. Was them up and so. And yes. Was that one of the most devastating things I've ever dealt with.
[76:54]
Rachel Feinstein
I've been there too. It's fun.
[76:55]
Sam Morril
But you know, like a hero. I persevered. But. But yeah. Thank you, Elvis.
[77:01]
Stavros Halkias
But yeah.
[77:01]
Sam Morril
Truly the other thing to also keep in mind here is that like you have these. These guys really want to fuck. When it's getting to the point where it's condoms are coming out. If you're just, just like you have to wear condom or we don't. Then they probably will cave.
[77:18]
Rachel Feinstein
And if a restaurant with the dress code, you can't come in without the blazer.
[77:24]
Sam Morril
And also it's. Yeah, I just, I just think you need to. You just have to. And it's. It's a screening process too, of like, anyone who's going to be like, I don't want to wear a condom is not someone you want to fuck. You know what I mean?
[77:39]
Rachel Feinstein
Or raise a kid with, no, I don't want to.
[77:45]
Stavros Halkias
So, yeah, I love their gaslighting her. This extent is wild too. She's like, I guess I'm some kind of polyan. I don't think there. Yeah, I don't know that you need to start name calling yourself. It's pretty simple. Yeah. Same rules for a country club. Same rules for your dick. As Sam said, you need a crested blazer to get in.
[78:02]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah, I mean, like, this is a Missouri tech. There's some states you got to make sure to wrap it up.
[78:07]
Sam Morril
And I guess maybe just you have to have condoms. But still, it's like, I just think this is a bigger issue of if someone in, like, if someone doesn't. If you say, hell, get a condom and they react negatively at all, that's a huge red flag. That's.
[78:26]
Stavros Halkias
I stayed in this guy for a while. I had the opposite feeling where I dated this guy for a while. And like, I. I've only had sex, like, inside of relationships, you know, so usually I'm used to them just kind of like bothering me until they're like, fine. They just get in a relationship just because they want to get laid. They're like, fine, I want to be inside you. Where do I sign?
[78:41]
Rachel Feinstein
Yes.
[78:42]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[78:43]
Stavros Halkias
But I remember this one guy, like, we kept going out and he was like. And then he just kept forgetting a condom, you know, like, and would it be time? And at this point I'm like, does anyone want to get laid? Like, to me, I thought it was the opposite. I was like, something strange. I'm like, is he gay? Like, how could he forget a condom this many times? And he was like, oh, you know, I guess we can't hook up because I forgot a con. I'm like, he should have one.
[79:02]
Sam Morril
And then he's like, yeah, or maybe we can.
[79:10]
Stavros Halkias
By the way, he was a cop. So I'm like, he brought his gun everywhere. A lot of unnecessary situations too. Yeah. Like, I'm like, we're at like a rom com and you have your gun in your belt. You can remember a condom.
[79:22]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's crazy. That's insane. So, yeah, you're fully in the right here. Make them wear condoms and don't date and don't date. Or anyone that will really. That really doesn't want to wear a condom. That's a problem. What else, buddy?
[79:40]
Joe List
Here's one. Here's just a little something to reflect on it being the 100th episode and all.
[79:44]
Sam Morril
Okay.
[79:49]
Rachel Feinstein
Esteemed eldest and. Yes, Stavy, quick question. I've watched a lot of your shows. I'm curious, what is a question, in hindsight, that you've answered that you would answer differently now? Like, do you regret any advice that you sent out there?
[80:09]
Caller 3
Have a great one.
[80:13]
Sam Morril
I mean, that for me to regret a qu. Regret advice I've given, I would have to remember literally any episode you've ever done. So, yes, there definitely is things I've answered wrong, but I don't know. And I'll never re. Listen to an episode of this podcast ever. That is a promise for me. But, yeah, I'm sure there's things I've said that are fucking stupid. Or more importantly, there's probably, like, jokes I've been. I've regretted not making.
[80:41]
Rachel Feinstein
That makes more sense.
[80:42]
Sam Morril
But I don't. You know, I feel like whenever something is serious, we tend to be like, go to a lawyer or go to a doctor. You know what I mean? Like, if something's really fucked up, we're like, we will answer this because it's still funny. But go to whatever. Go to the right people. So I don't know. I don't know. Do you have any thoughts? Did you. Seeing as you're the only one who knew this question was coming. Did you maybe prepare something or you just want to kind of see what I came up with?
[81:08]
Joe List
I just want to see what came to your mind.
[81:09]
Sam Morril
Nice, man.
[81:10]
Joe List
I don't really have any thoughts.
[81:11]
Sam Morril
Awesome producing, dude. Thank you. You. That's awesome. You know, maybe you could have had some examples or something, but no, no, you join me to improvise this completely with no warning. Go back to. We've actually. It's the hundredth free episode, but it's actually 200 episodes. So you want me to just pull something out of 200 episodes?
[81:29]
Joe List
I once. I once told a guy to. That was kind of similar to the first call we did today where he was like. He just was, like, dating a toxic girl with, like, the biggest titties he's ever done. I remember that guy making his life hell.
[81:41]
Sam Morril
I remember that.
[81:42]
Joe List
And I kind of said like it. Who cares? Just like reach out to her and you. And I forget who the guest was. But you guys were like very against it.
[81:49]
Sam Morril
Yes.
[81:49]
Joe List
And I guess I probably regret that. Mainly because I thought he'd get like a bit bigger of a laugh.
[81:55]
Rachel Feinstein
But that is tough when you go for the laugh. But it is someone's life.
[82:02]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah. It just doesn't land in this.
[82:05]
Stavros Halkias
Up to this point, I always thought you were like this. Like just this sweet husband, counterpart, family man. His girlfriend was abusive that he should go back to them fat titties.
[82:19]
Sam Morril
This is only outlet to be a misogynist pig.
[82:22]
Joe List
I mean, he was making them sound like really?
[82:24]
Sam Morril
They sounded awesome. And believe me, I'd love to the lady. Yeah, yeah. The ladies describing ought to love to. But no, we basically what we told him was, hey man, you got the her for a little bit. It's over. Yeah, enjoy. That's how life in your head.
[82:39]
Stavros Halkias
That's right.
[82:40]
Sam Morril
And that's.
[82:40]
Stavros Halkias
I didn't even see these tits. They were hypothetical tits.
[82:43]
Sam Morril
Yeah, but it's better in the mind's eye.
[82:45]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah, but it's like a book. You picture the tits you want.
[82:48]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[82:49]
Rachel Feinstein
In your head.
[82:49]
Sam Morril
Exactly. Wow, that's a cool pair.
[82:53]
Stavros Halkias
Thanks for teaching me about life.
[82:55]
Sam Morril
No worries. I feel like we do this every time you're on. We teach you some. Some element of how up. I know.
[83:01]
Stavros Halkias
I always feel like Sandy from Greece when I'm on what's polyamorous? What does that mean?
[83:10]
Sam Morril
All right, what else? L.D.
[83:14]
Caller 2
Hey, Stavy. I've been a listener for a long time, huge fan. Anyway, so I'm just wondering. My boyfriend's moving in here to my studio apartment because he. At a certain job, his lease is ending. He wants to see if he gets another job somewhere else that he really wants before he like signs under lease in the area we live in now. And the goal is to eventually move in together and get engaged soon, all this stuff. But we're fighting because he wants to. I have a 585 square foot apartment in the middle of the city, densely populated area. And he's insisting that he needs to bring a test freezer. I said, what furniture do you need? And today he just goes, oh, well, all I need is my test freezer. This is 12 to 16 square feet.
[83:59]
Rachel Feinstein
I don't know what that is.
[84:00]
Caller 2
It's like a big ass electricity.
[84:02]
Sam Morril
Like when.
[84:03]
Joe List
When you have like a stepdad, like basement freezer, frozen meats.
[84:06]
Sam Morril
And in a big one of those big white freezers. I mean, maybe it's not as big. 12 to 16ft. Still pretty big. 12ft is actually.
[84:13]
Stavros Halkias
He's a serial killer. He's gonna make a suit out of her skin.
[84:16]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah.
[84:18]
Stavros Halkias
Just something for my limbs.
[84:19]
Caller 2
My test freezer. This is 12 to 16 square feet. And it's gonna suck up my electricity, which isn't even a problem. The problem is I have where to put it. I was like, where am I going to put your chest freezer? And he said, it can go next to the couch. And I was like, I don't really want a giant freezer next to my couch. And he's like, it's not even big. Like, I don't understand why you're upset at all. Basically, like, I'm crazy. And I said, I have a freezer above my fridge. He said, it's not enough because I put too much stuff in it. I thought, I'll clear my stuff out. He said, no, I need my meat. Whatever.
[84:54]
Sam Morril
What?
[84:55]
Caller 2
This is ridiculous. I'm like, can you take it to your aunt and uncle's house? He's done that before. They've held onto it for him. Not a big deal. And he was like, no, I need, like, access to my meats. And I'm like, well, we could put your meats in my freezer. And then when we need to go get more, we'll go to your aunt and uncle's house. They are an hour and a half away, but we visit frequently. And he was like, no, we have to, like, have the meat in the freezer. The chest freezer that is in your studio apartment next to your couch. This is coming out after he looked at me the other day and said, we need to move my couch into storage and put a clothing rack in. And so just not have a couch so that he had room for his clothes. My lease is up in December, and I'm like, well, I can clear out half my closet for you, which is the only closet. So I also would only be getting half of the closet. And so I'm thinking, so, New York.
[85:45]
Sam Morril
This is fucking insane.
[85:46]
Caller 2
And he says. I'm like, where are we going to sit down? Where are we going to watch tv? He said, well, we'll just actually switch the whole apartment around, basically. And then we could just watch TV from bed or something.
[85:58]
Sam Morril
I don't know.
[85:58]
Rachel Feinstein
You need to break up with this guy.
[86:01]
Sam Morril
Yes. This guy's atrocious.
[86:03]
Rachel Feinstein
This is insane. What are you talking about? It's a. It's a studio apartment. It's your apartment. Yeah.
[86:09]
Sam Morril
He's crashing with you for a couple months. He doesn't get to rearrange everything. You're doing him the favor. Sorry. Go ahead.
[86:16]
Rachel Feinstein
This is the first big apartment I've lived in in. In New York and my girlfriend has moved so much of her shoes in there and I'm like, I'm feeling smothered in a three bedroom. So I can't imagine how the smothered you feel.
[86:28]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[86:28]
Rachel Feinstein
You can't let him. You can't let him do it. It's your place. And meats. Are you kidding me?
[86:34]
Stavros Halkias
His meats is. That's an amazing. I need to have access to my meats. It's an incredible.
[86:38]
Sam Morril
And the idea is he's going to. He's there. Let's finish this before we get in. Because I don't think there's that.
[86:42]
Caller 2
That much more or something. I don't know. It's just he's like making it kind of difficult. And so I guess. Am I crazy or is he crazy? I mean, his family is very rural and so they grew up in the middle of like the woods or whatever and they didn't have Internet and I guess it made him kind of weird or something. But I grew up in like New York City and. Why would you need a test freezer?
[87:04]
Sam Morril
Yeah, you don't.
[87:05]
Caller 2
I just don't get it anyway. Am I crazy? He doesn't think it's a problem at all. He's confused that I'm confused.
[87:11]
Rachel Feinstein
Not in Manhattan.
[87:12]
Caller 2
Thank you.
[87:12]
Stavros Halkias
No, he's gaslighting you.
[87:14]
Sam Morril
And so. Yeah, I mean what I don't understand here is the plan. If that is the plan, right. He's going to crash with her for.
[87:22]
Stavros Halkias
A couple months until he finds another job that he might get. Also. You don't get to. You don't get demands when you're unemployed either. Yeah, yeah.
[87:31]
Sam Morril
And I mean, I get it. It's like there. It's not like, you know, he. She said the plan is to move in together, get engaged. So it's like they are talking about the future. So it's a little more than like him crashing with her. But it's also very inconsiderate of him. He's coming to take over her space and so she can't really be like, it's my apartment because I guess this is step one to them sort of moving in together.
[87:56]
Stavros Halkias
But he's telling her not to have a couch.
[87:58]
Sam Morril
I agree.
[87:58]
Stavros Halkias
Clothing rack.
[87:59]
Sam Morril
And I agree. I agree. No, no, that's. The couch thing is fucking crazy. I mean the chest thing is crazy.
[88:03]
Rachel Feinstein
What are you gonna, like, go into one of her jackets while you watch tv?
[88:07]
Sam Morril
You need a couch.
[88:08]
Rachel Feinstein
You need furniture.
[88:09]
Sam Morril
And he's like, we can watch it from the. From the bed. It's like, you don't want to live in a hotel room. You want to like. You want to have your own space. Yeah. That's crazy. This is. This is a. He's.
[88:20]
Rachel Feinstein
This is the biggest cause of breakups, I think, in New York is. Is rent being so insane that you move in too soon and you're like, I can't. You're making me crazy.
[88:29]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[88:30]
Rachel Feinstein
I'm in a prison cell with another person.
[88:32]
Sam Morril
Yeah. And that's. He's really trying to turn this into a prison cell. So. I mean.
[88:37]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah. It starts with the chest freezer. Then what? Next he needs this fucking, you know, bench press in there too.
[88:42]
Sam Morril
I know. Chest freezer is crazy, man. It's a studio apartment. You can't have that, man. You just can. Yeah, I want a bigger fucking kitchen. I can't have it. It's a New York apartment.
[88:55]
Stavros Halkias
And the fact he's bringing in a clothing rack to me, I mean, I'm sure I'll get shit for saying this, but. No straight man.
[89:01]
Sam Morril
There we go.
[89:02]
Stavros Halkias
I'm sorry.
[89:02]
Sam Morril
The larger issue is that he might have.
[89:10]
Stavros Halkias
I'm out.
[89:10]
Rachel Feinstein
I've had every possible queen with his shirts.
[89:18]
Stavros Halkias
It's like. And then I've got to bring my.
[89:20]
Sam Morril
Ring trays and put them all.
[89:23]
Stavros Halkias
I can't come unless I have space for my velvet robe and my hat boxes.
[89:29]
Rachel Feinstein
Velvet robe is pretty straight, though.
[89:32]
Sam Morril
Yeah. It kind of turns all the way around and is straight again. Because, you know, gay guys need. They need like active robes. They're doing so much sex.
[89:40]
Stavros Halkias
That's true.
[89:40]
Sam Morril
The velvet robe is really a more of a plush, naked thing.
[89:43]
Rachel Feinstein
It's more of a hangout.
[89:44]
Sam Morril
Gay guys need a robe material that could be very easily washed.
[89:47]
Rachel Feinstein
Waffle robe, if you will.
[89:48]
Stavros Halkias
I won't come without my necklace tree.
[89:53]
Rachel Feinstein
How much? That's a lot of meat, too. That's kind of.
[89:55]
Sam Morril
Yeah. I mean, he is being ridiculous. Because if this is so important to him, then this can't be the plan. If this is so important to him, then he needs to sublet or do a long term rental of a place where he has more space. If the plan is studio apartment, you have to live in a studio apartment. You can't have your weird suburban style of living in a studio apartment. You have to just accept that that's what you're doing. And if he wants to save money that's fine. But it's like that's. That's the downside. And so I don't know. This is weird because this would be so frustrating if someone just is not willing to budge. You know, if he's like. Like I can't. If somebody said that. Dude, if you wanted to put a chest freezer here, I'd be like, no. What the are you talking about? Yeah, this is a three bedroom.
[90:46]
Rachel Feinstein
Oh dude, I. I'm so conscious with. With space. Just growing up in Manhattan, like any. Like people would get me like getting gifts and I'd be like, you, where am I gonna put this? You know?
[90:55]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[90:55]
Rachel Feinstein
Until. Until this apartment for years someone gives you. Like my mom would get me a thing. I'd be like, where am I supposed to put that?
[91:01]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah.
[91:02]
Rachel Feinstein
It's like.
[91:02]
Sam Morril
It's like a sculpture.
[91:03]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah. It's like a you. When someone gives you. When you let them in hand.
[91:06]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Yeah. So this is.
[91:08]
Rachel Feinstein
It's aggressive. Yeah, it's just aggressive.
[91:11]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[91:11]
Stavros Halkias
And if this is the. And by the way, if this is why you break up, then you weren't supposed to be together. Imagine telling the story to anybody. It was between me and a test freezer and he chose the test freezer.
[91:25]
Sam Morril
I believe it's chest freezer.
[91:26]
Stavros Halkias
Chest. I'm sorry, I never heard of this.
[91:28]
Rachel Feinstein
By the way, other ways to get protein too. If you're like some workout guy, have a protein shake for two months. But.
[91:33]
Joe List
But she said he's rural. I feel like they've had access to like some farm meats or something crazy.
[91:38]
Sam Morril
For sure. They're probably good quality meats. I get that. But I. I also get the desire. But I have. I have like in Baltimore, I do have a chest freezer I have in there. And I. It. There's more space. There's less space here. But it's like I can't live that way here. Cuz I'm in New York and I'm in a pretty big apartment.
[91:55]
Stavros Halkias
Freezer is what it's like.
[91:57]
Sam Morril
It's just a freezer. It's just. Okay, look at. Yeah.
[91:59]
Stavros Halkias
It's like a giant.
[92:00]
Sam Morril
It's one of those. Yeah. Like it's literally what serial killers put body parts in. That kind of. It's probably one of those like. I got a solution.
[92:10]
Rachel Feinstein
Put that. Put cushions.
[92:12]
Sam Morril
Oh my God. It is. It's that and then.
[92:14]
Rachel Feinstein
And then put.
[92:15]
Sam Morril
That's your couch.
[92:15]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah. Make this your couch.
[92:17]
Stavros Halkias
Not a bad.
[92:17]
Rachel Feinstein
We solved it.
[92:18]
Sam Morril
I mean. Ok, if we actually want to try some level of fucking Compromise here you could get he. She says he's a 15 foot. That's insane. But I have. There's a five cubic foot one where you could almost use it like. Like a. You put like a blanket over it and you use it as an end table or some like that. Yeah, there's maybe some. You can get a small freezer, but there in no way can this bring in a 15 cubic foot.
[92:49]
Stavros Halkias
That's crazy.
[92:50]
Sam Morril
That's nuts.
[92:51]
Stavros Halkias
I mean, if this is your couch, he will have room for his tiaras.
[92:57]
Sam Morril
So anyway, good luck.
[92:59]
Stavros Halkias
It's insane.
[92:59]
Rachel Feinstein
It's a weird one.
[93:00]
Sam Morril
Yeah, it's. It's truly a crazy thing.
[93:06]
Rachel Feinstein
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[93:36]
Stavros Halkias
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[93:40]
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[93:58]
Caller 3
Hey, stop. Elvis. Esteemed guest, I have a question regarding basically the relationship with my father. I. Growing up, I was super attached to him. He was my favorite guy in the world, you know? So you'd always do stuff.
[94:15]
Joe List
Wait, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to play that one.
[94:18]
Sam Morril
Okay. Nice man.
[94:19]
Stavros Halkias
Now I'm invested.
[94:20]
Sam Morril
Yeah, you eldest. Great.
[94:25]
Rachel Feinstein
This guy's listening and he's so excited. We're about to help. And now we're like, no, honestly, El.
[94:30]
Sam Morril
Is a beautiful way to commemorate episode 100. Just a stupid up.
[94:38]
Joe List
Well, we could listen to it.
[94:40]
Sam Morril
Okay, Great.
[94:42]
Caller 3
With me and my brother, he was just the coolest guy. When I was 8, him and my mom got divorced.
[94:51]
Sam Morril
Play that one.
[94:52]
Caller 3
And when I was 11.
[94:54]
Sam Morril
Idiot. It's not gonna be good.
[94:58]
Caller 3
And just stopped all contact with me. Come to find out later, it's because he's gotten some legal trouble and was running from the wall. Ten years go by, this man's dead. Then when I'm 21, pops back up in my life. Promises he's always going to be around, wants to be just a dad to me. And I'm like, great, cool. I missed you. Like, this is all I wanted for the last 10 years.
[95:30]
Sam Morril
Damn.
[95:31]
Caller 3
Things are going good. But then I get my girlfriend, girlfriend I was dating at the time, pregnant, and kid comes out and I'm like, I gotta be in this kid's life. I. I have to be. I'm sorry, I've left out. I was supposed to move with them before I got her pregnant. And so obviously I'm not going to move with him. He's upset.
[96:02]
Sam Morril
He's going to be roommates with his dead.
[96:04]
Caller 3
And things kind of taper off. And you think you'd be excited because he has a grandchild now, but obviously he doesn't care.
[96:10]
Sam Morril
Huh, that's interesting.
[96:12]
Rachel Feinstein
And so.
[96:14]
Caller 3
Time goes by, keeps in contact. I ended up marrying said woman who she's now my wife. We have another kid. She also had a kid from the previous relationship. And so I have three beautiful kids, a lovely wife. Things are going good.
[96:31]
Sam Morril
That's awesome.
[96:32]
Caller 3
But he calls less and less, and I've literally only talked to him once on the phone this entire year. And I want to have a relationship with them, but I don't feel like I should be the one to reach out. So I'm just wondering what advice you would give. There's any advice, or if I.
[96:55]
Rachel Feinstein
Should.
[96:55]
Caller 3
I try to contact them or just drop them out of my life and just move on, you know? So if you can give me an advice, that'd be great. Love your show. Thanks for everything.
[97:08]
Sam Morril
Bye.
[97:10]
Rachel Feinstein
Interesting scenario. I mean, me personally, I would probably say it once. I'd be like, hey, I. This is what I would like with you. That I. I have resentment towards you. For the last 10 years, you dipped out of my life. But, you know, maybe we could start over. You do have a grandkid now or three, I guess.
[97:27]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[97:28]
Rachel Feinstein
And. And put the ball in his court. And if he. If he rises to the occasion, great. If not, cut him. You. You. You have one chance to tell him and then. But if you don't say it, you kind of just blame yourself.
[97:38]
Sam Morril
Yes, I. Fully.
[97:40]
Rachel Feinstein
Because he might feel shame maybe for the. For the time he's missed and not know how to get back in. So if you give them that open door. But yeah, I don't know.
[97:47]
Sam Morril
Yeah, there's a lot of reasons, I think. Shame, pride, you know, maybe even anger. You know what I mean? Like, who knows what he's going. There's a lot of different reasons why he would be. Stay. Just also just being the. Just kind of being immature and not wanting to be a grandfather. You never know with these people. Sometimes people see it as like, I'm too young to be a grandfather. Like, that's legitimate. You know, if he had you young and you had your kid's young, he might be like, I'm fucking. I'm not a grandfather. That might fuck up his, like, the way he sees himself. There's a lot of different reasons, but I fully agree with you, Sam. You don't read. Like, you also don't want to surrender to, like, pride if. If this is important to you. And if you think that by just being the bigger man and offering that relationship once. But I agree with you once, like, you don't want to fucking overdo this. You don't want to be constantly begging him for attention. And, yeah, say what you want. You owe it to yourself. He might. He might. That might be what. What he needs to hear. And he might be in your kid's life. But I would say don't hold your breath. Right. Like, it's kind of what you were saying. We were having this conversation about, like, earlier about, you know, what to expect from. From a dad that leaves your life and then comes back in and it's.
[99:01]
Rachel Feinstein
Like, if they're capable of doing that, they're capable of doing that again.
[99:05]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Don't expect anything.
[99:06]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah.
[99:07]
Sam Morril
Honestly, say what you want mostly for you, but don't expect him to come around and like, yeah, that sucks, dude. If he's. If he's not going to be in your kid's life as a grandfather. But he. He wasn't, you know, he partially wasn't in your. In your life. So I see.
[99:24]
Rachel Feinstein
I see why Eldest didn't want to pick this one.
[99:26]
Sam Morril
Because it's not funny. It's a downer. If I were him, maybe I wouldn't.
[99:29]
Stavros Halkias
I will say this guy should listen to Gary Veter's podcast, Number One dad, which is incredible and fascinating. And, Sam, also, your advice to Gary in that podcast is so interesting. And it's about Gary Veter, whose dad won't say too much, but left his life. And it's like, very great podcast.
[99:46]
Rachel Feinstein
Loved it. He killed it.
[99:48]
Sam Morril
Gary's dad is a con man and a insane character. And. Yeah, listen to that. Listen to that podcast. And I don't know, when is this come out?
[100:00]
Joe List
October 28th.
[100:01]
Sam Morril
It's October 28th now, as we all know. Let's Start a Cult is in theaters right now. Go see it. We gotta Start when we do ads. We gotta put it in. We gotta put this in. I keep forgetting to plug this movie that's only gonna be seen if I promote it. There's no other.
[100:22]
Rachel Feinstein
Built their whole careers.
[100:23]
Sam Morril
Right, right.
[100:24]
Rachel Feinstein
Just promote specials, tours. That's. Yeah, you're made for that, you know.
[100:30]
Sam Morril
Okay. Yeah. Not a. Not a great call. Kind of a downer.
[100:34]
Joe List
It was on the short list because I figured Sam would be a good one for that. But then I was like, yeah, maybe it's a little too long.
[100:42]
Rachel Feinstein
A lot of pauses to be very dramatic. Was reading that.
[100:46]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[100:46]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[100:47]
Sam Morril
The good news is we listened to it and it did. Did kind of dip the momentum a little bit. But, hey, we'll get it back right here with something good, won't we, Elvis?
[100:56]
Joe List
That's right.
[101:00]
Sam Morril
Davi.
[101:01]
Rachel Feinstein
What's Poppy? Rachel's Puerto Rican with my girl.
[101:08]
Sam Morril
She's dope as hell. She's like the love of my life. Marry me in two weeks. Oh, yeah, congrats. Pumped for that. But okay, look, this is not. I listen to the show. Hella. Okay, these are crazy.
[101:22]
Rachel Feinstein
Who call in.
[101:24]
Caller 3
But my problem might seem small, but.
[101:27]
Rachel Feinstein
I think it's something that needs to.
[101:29]
Sam Morril
Be talked about right now.
[101:31]
Rachel Feinstein
Okay.
[101:31]
Sam Morril
And that is me and my girl, we are both, you know, on the heavy side. We like to eat, I like to drink. We like to drink. But, you know, as bigger folks, my girls on the zempy. Yep.
[101:47]
Rachel Feinstein
She started doing Ozempic and now it's.
[101:51]
Sam Morril
Like, hella fucked up because I'll smoke and be drinking, chilling. And it would be time.
[101:59]
Rachel Feinstein
It should be time for us to.
[102:01]
Sam Morril
Go drive to, I don't know, a.
[102:05]
Rachel Feinstein
Taco Bell or in an hour, when we go out, we get some pickup back shots.
[102:10]
Sam Morril
Oh, now we're faded and we're, you.
[102:13]
Rachel Feinstein
Know, doing more of that.
[102:15]
Sam Morril
And now, you know, I just feel.
[102:16]
Rachel Feinstein
Like in that regard, like, of course.
[102:19]
Sam Morril
At the end of the day, I'm happy. I'm happy for my girl. This guy's awesome. But I just miss somebody having, you know, kind of validate the.
[102:29]
Rachel Feinstein
Validate it, man.
[102:30]
Caller 3
Anyway, much love.
[102:32]
Sam Morril
I get this fully, dude. I fully understand. Understand this.
[102:36]
Joe List
This guy's a keeper.
[102:37]
Sam Morril
This guy's so awesome.
[102:39]
Joe List
He's like, I love you the way you are, baby. He just wants to hold me back.
[102:42]
Sam Morril
Can we get off and eat Taco Bell? Why are you eating healthy? You. I love you. I want you in my life. Fat.
[102:51]
Rachel Feinstein
I never dated a woman who lost weight while we were together, so I can't.
[102:59]
Sam Morril
Yeah, this is. This is very Interesting. I mean, you know, I guess the obvious thing to do here is maybe take the cue and join her. You can still be together in life. And, you know, this might be. This might be kind of nice, man. Like, I know you want to get Taco Bell, but it's like, maybe you learn how to marinate some fucking flank steak and make your own tacos. It's not that hard. I do that shit all the time. Like, you know, you could still smoke, you know that, but maybe not drink as much or do non alcoholic stuff. I get this feeling because your life is changing, but this is also part of. I think a serious relationship is like kind of growing together, evolving together. And, you know, how old is he said he's in his mid or late 20s. 29. Yeah. This is also the time. No disrespect, brother, but 30 is the time when getting fucked up and eating Taco Bell all the time should probably end. It should become a nostalgic.
[104:02]
Rachel Feinstein
Aren't the people to deliver you this information.
[104:06]
Sam Morril
Truly should be a nostalgic little treat. I literally had to just shut myself off from the world for six months in Baltimore to not get fucked up and eat Taco Bell. But I. So it's hard, I know it. But if you've got somebody in your life who's making positive changes, I would say try and ride her wave a little bit, brother.
[104:27]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. At a certain point in life, you have to choose. You know, there's a fork in the road and it's either a woman or a heart attack.
[104:34]
Sam Morril
There's a fork in the road. You want to pick up that fork and you want to stab some cheesy fiesta potatoes and eat those and tell your bitch to get packing with her new fucking skinny ass.
[104:43]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. I mean, this is going to a good problem to have. He's like, yeah, like, I love this girl and she might save my life.
[104:48]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[104:51]
Stavros Halkias
She's thicker than a snicker and she might save my life.
[104:55]
Sam Morril
Yeah, dude. So you can either do that or I don't know, man. You know, if she lose too much weight, get yourself a new fat bitch.
[105:02]
Rachel Feinstein
Also, you know, the fun thing is when you order in with someone who's doing this and.
[105:06]
Sam Morril
And no worse feeling, though.
[105:08]
Rachel Feinstein
I know to be like, they eat half their food. I got.
[105:11]
Sam Morril
That's true, that's true. But there's no worse feeling than throwing out like an appetizer and everyone being like, you know, I don't think I'm gonna get app. I think I'm just gonna get the salad. And you're like. Now you're forced to be like, well, I'm ordering it anyway. Now they. They strip you of the charade of you not just eating the whole thing by yourself. You have to just be faced with it. Oh.
[105:35]
Rachel Feinstein
Oh. I was. I had dinner with my friend Roland Campos in. In LA at this great Mexican spot. And he's a bigger guy, and he's like. He's like. He's like, oh, we got to get the nachos here. They're incredible. It's like, oh, cool, cool. He's like. He's like, all right, so nachos. Like, yeah. He's like, all right, two nachos.
[105:50]
Sam Morril
I was like, oh, two nachos.
[105:52]
Stavros Halkias
Two is.
[105:54]
Rachel Feinstein
I thought we were split. No, no, no. You want your own? I was like, all right.
[105:57]
Sam Morril
Honestly, that's an impulse bite.
[106:00]
Rachel Feinstein
It was wild.
[106:01]
Sam Morril
How were the nachos?
[106:02]
Rachel Feinstein
Amazing.
[106:02]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[106:03]
Rachel Feinstein
Salute Roland. He's the food guy. He loves his food.
[106:06]
Sam Morril
Oh, yeah, I know Roland.
[106:07]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah.
[106:08]
Sam Morril
Yeah. So I've never heard his full name. I've never heard him. I've only heard him referred to as roll into. Yeah, he is a food guy. He's a good guy.
[106:17]
Stavros Halkias
I always feel like. Like, I have a friend, and she's like, you know, super skinny, and I feel like she's always comparing our weights. Like, and she's, like, watching what I'm eating. You know what I mean? And, like, I think about. I really like sweets, so I, like, think about cupcakes when I should be having, like, more intelligent or complicated. Like, I daydream about that.
[106:34]
Sam Morril
Sure.
[106:35]
Stavros Halkias
But then I feel like when somebody's watching you and you're eating, it's the worst feeling. Like, I've never really thought about it because nobody in my family really had an eating disorder, but I feel like she looks. Yeah. And she also made us compare weights, which. My mom did the same thing, which was so obnoxious.
[106:48]
Sam Morril
Well, there goes your first. Yeah, right out the window.
[106:52]
Stavros Halkias
Close me like a box. Actually, my mom was like, oh, this scale's broken. You try. Step on. She's waiting. 120. Her whole life, she's always like, I just want to see if it's broken.
[107:06]
Sam Morril
If you're a cow, what are your favorite days ago?
[107:10]
Rachel Feinstein
Who gained a decent amount of weight while we were together, and I tried to turn it into positives, I'd be like, I think it's cool that everyone at the ice cream store knows your name. That's really. I'm happy for you. That's awesome, dude.
[107:21]
Sam Morril
Legit. I've had it be in relationships a problem where somebody I was dating when I was younger, she gained weight and I was like, nice. I was like, she's getting thicker. I was so on board. She's like, no, I don't need. I don't need you. I was like. I was like, cuz I, you know I'm unhealthy as so I was like, this is awesome. We get. I was basically this caller. I'm like, hell yeah. I'm turning you into me. And your tits are getting bigger. Yeah. Win, win. That is.
[107:50]
Rachel Feinstein
That is so true though. Like women, you get bigger. You get the bigger tits, the bigger ass. It's not cool. And dude, we have nothing.
[107:57]
Sam Morril
There's no. You did get smaller by comparison. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's nothing. Your dick should get a little fatter. That's where the great injustices. That's why, you know, that's why feminine, you know, feminism is needed. It has to balance that out. That's what you know.
[108:14]
Stavros Halkias
You've lost a lot of weight.
[108:16]
Sam Morril
I've lost. I've lost a little weight so far.
[108:18]
Stavros Halkias
What did you do that you could maybe this guy you can give us.
[108:22]
Sam Morril
No, not really. That motherfucker is running his own business and having a family like a. He's not, he's not available.
[108:29]
Rachel Feinstein
So lame.
[108:29]
Sam Morril
When people get it together, he's not available. To train me 24 7, I had to take personal responsibility. No, I just, I legit was just in Baltimore and I was just exercising and eating and cooking all my own meals and. And it's actually I am feeling that because I'm back here now and we're shooting tires soon. I'm promoting the movie. I started doing standup again. So I went from having basically half a job. I acted in some stuff this summer, but I didn't do anything else to having four jobs. And I'm stressed out. I'm stress eating. I'm feeling it. I'm sticking with my exercise. But the hard part is doing it while you are back to normal. Anyone can pretty if you could just take time and focus on it. So I'm trying to figure that part out now. I'm still. Thank God. At the point where, you know, going crazy means eating two protein bars and a bag of popcorn and like a Halo top instead of like I love Halo. $80 worth of Chinese food. So I'm still. I'm trying to keep that at bay.
[109:34]
Stavros Halkias
But one thing that helped me that Jessica Kirsten told me is like she lost A lot of weight. And she's a really funny comic.
[109:41]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[109:41]
Stavros Halkias
And she said, pack, like a lot of stuff because we. We spent a lot of our lives on the road and anybody's life, they're running around, she's like, pack a lot of stuff. So she packs like, you know, all kinds of snacks. Because I love. I'm gonna run into that store. I'm good when I'm home, but if I'm out, I'll get a Snickers or I love pizza. She's like, just have a ton of stuff with you.
[110:01]
Sam Morril
I know.
[110:02]
Rachel Feinstein
Good, good choice. Like nuts and stuff like that.
[110:04]
Sam Morril
I literally. I literally have been like, packing. Like, we did the tires, table read and I just packed a lunch and I was just great. Yeah. And I gotta start doing that at clubs. That's the other thing. I was sleeping. I was having a normal person schedule where I would like, go to bed at like, you know, 11 or midnight and I'd wake up early as and go on a nice morning walk. And it's like now if you're up till two or three doing shows. So whatever, I have to figure it out. But let's plunge back into some eating disorder talk though, because I'd love to know your favorite sweets since you're saying you love sweet so much. Rachel. Yeah, we'll get to you too, Sam.
[110:40]
Stavros Halkias
But I love cupcakes. And I love like vanilla ice cream with like a brownie with chocolate syrup on it. And I love cakes with like layers on them, like red velvet cake. Anything where there's like, little extra treats.
[110:51]
Rachel Feinstein
I've just gotten way too excited.
[110:52]
Stavros Halkias
I'm like, I took my dick out. You guys didn't realize I was a man.
[110:55]
Sam Morril
I love it.
[110:56]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. No, I love sweets.
[110:58]
Sam Morril
Yeah, I love cake.
[111:00]
Rachel Feinstein
But really, like, cheesecake is.
[111:02]
Stavros Halkias
I eat everything in general. Like, there's not many foods I don't like. I can't think of a food at all. I'll eat anything. Like, I like just. But I really think about cakes and sweets. And I make my husband hide him from me if he gets it because I will eat all of it. Absolutely all of it. Like, I just got. We made like, I made these cinnamon buns with my daughter. And then I just ate the icing last night and I was like, you pig. You fucking foul beast, you. Look at you, you rat. Standing over a garbage can. Just cup and icing into your face, you know, like, so I put it. It's so good.
[111:32]
Rachel Feinstein
I love ice, like cream cheese icing.
[111:33]
Stavros Halkias
Oh, my God, yes.
[111:34]
Sam Morril
Good carrot Cake.
[111:36]
Rachel Feinstein
You ever. You ever eat it and then you look at the serving size behind it and you're like, what the am I doing?
[111:42]
Sam Morril
Want to look at nutritional value for I. For icing?
[111:45]
Stavros Halkias
I have to pour something on top of it. Otherwise I will take it out of the trash.
[111:48]
Sam Morril
No, no, I know there's a. Soap is the key. Because trash is nothing.
[111:52]
Rachel Feinstein
You poison yourself.
[111:53]
Sam Morril
Trash is nothing. Yeah, like I have. I have a joke. I have a joke. I'm doing this new hour. But I was like, you don't think I've. You don't think I've taken a banana peel off an egg roll before? You don't think I've done that? It's like you gotta put soap or like, that's good. Sometimes if I've been like. If I have like a bag, like I took to the beach, just put sand over in the trash to make it sandy.
[112:17]
Stavros Halkias
Sand is a great one.
[112:18]
Sam Morril
It's tough because it's really ruins the. And sometimes I've tried to eat through even those experience. But there. That. That'll stop you. Okay, nice. And you're a cheesecake guy.
[112:29]
Rachel Feinstein
I like for candy. Rolo is my go to truck stop. I love Rolo. Hershey's cookies and cream. Amazing.
[112:36]
Sam Morril
It is good. It's the one Hershey's that actually that you can take to compete with better chocolates.
[112:41]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah. Because the Hershey's regular is like a boy.
[112:46]
Sam Morril
I won't. That's disrespectful to hand jobs.
[112:48]
Rachel Feinstein
All right, fine.
[112:49]
Sam Morril
All right.
[112:50]
Rachel Feinstein
Snickers is a hand job.
[112:51]
Sam Morril
I. I'm not a. Thank you. I'm not a big Snickers fan. It's fine. It's solid.
[112:55]
Rachel Feinstein
The ice cream ones are good.
[112:56]
Stavros Halkias
Do you like marshmallows? I feel like people hate mar. I love a marshmallow. Why are people against marshmallows?
[113:00]
Sam Morril
You have like very like the Great Depression just ended tastes in. In desserts. You're like cupcakes and layered cakes. Lollipops and icing and marshmallow. The technology you have like.
[113:18]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, but he winked at me when he got out of prison.
[113:21]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[113:23]
Rachel Feinstein
The frosted pretzels, those are. Oh, yeah.
[113:25]
Sam Morril
I'm a big chocolate covered pretzels guy.
[113:27]
Rachel Feinstein
I like vanilla, but yeah.
[113:28]
Stavros Halkias
I also like for a meal, cheesesteak and pizza.
[113:31]
Sam Morril
Yes, yes. Absolute classes.
[113:34]
Stavros Halkias
Do they have steak?
[113:35]
Sam Morril
Oh, yeah. I mean, there is a. That is a Maryland thing of the carryout that has pizza, wings and. And a cheesesteak all at once. Whereas I feel like other parts of the country. Country. It's like, I mean Philly has it too, but it's like pizza places. Sometimes pizza places you will not have in New York.
[113:50]
Rachel Feinstein
They have like heroes. I feel like.
[113:52]
Sam Morril
What's that?
[113:53]
Rachel Feinstein
Heroes or calzones?
[113:54]
Sam Morril
Not really. Oh, they won't. They don't.
[113:55]
Rachel Feinstein
I don't. I don't think there's a couple by me.
[113:57]
Sam Morril
I don't think most pizza places in New York have sandwiches and like subs. Yeah.
[114:02]
Stavros Halkias
By the way, if I think there's like this crazy quiz at New York Times. Quiz. It's called where do you come from? But it's fascinating and they can guess by all. Like you Basically they ask you like like nine questions and it's what term? One of them is what term do you use for like a foot long. Hero. Hero is what they say in New York.
[114:17]
Sam Morril
Is it hero?
[114:18]
Stavros Halkias
And. And Merlin is a sub.
[114:21]
Sam Morril
Sub. Yeah.
[114:22]
Rachel Feinstein
Who says Grinder?
[114:23]
Sam Morril
It's like Buffalo or Rochester up there.
[114:25]
Rachel Feinstein
How about like Hoagie? Who does that?
[114:27]
Sam Morril
Hoagie's Philly.
[114:29]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. And like some people have words for the night before Halloween. Like some people call it Fright night or Mischief night.
[114:35]
Sam Morril
But anyway, people used to call it m. Mischief night. I never. I was too good a boy for Mischief night.
[114:43]
Stavros Halkias
But what's your favorite dinner?
[114:44]
Sam Morril
Before dinner?
[114:45]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
[114:46]
Sam Morril
Ah, geez, that's too hard.
[114:48]
Stavros Halkias
Last meal.
[114:49]
Sam Morril
That would probably be Korean barbecue. Honestly, Korean barbecue. Probably be just a very high end Korean barbecue.
[114:55]
Rachel Feinstein
I like all the app. We've done it together before. I love Korean.
[114:58]
Sam Morril
I'm due, I'm due for another one.
[115:00]
Rachel Feinstein
I had it recently. I saw my buddies playing the Band Aid AJR and we saw him at the Garden and we, we hit one of those. I think we've been to this place on 32nd.
[115:07]
Sam Morril
Yes, that's Korea.
[115:10]
Stavros Halkias
I went there for a military tour. Best food I've ever had.
[115:13]
Sam Morril
I did, I did a military tour, but I only had one day off. And it was, I was like, I was super. It was like the summer before I moved here. I was 25 or 24, I remember. And it was me and Joe List.
[115:24]
Rachel Feinstein
I'm like, dude, I accidentally booked this in North Korea. Oh my God. I'm sorry.
[115:28]
Sam Morril
I want to go. I really want to go back to Korea though. I want.
[115:31]
Stavros Halkias
It's incredible. I had the. That's my favorite trip I've ever. I've ever been.
[115:34]
Sam Morril
I want to. I want to go back for sure. All right, El, you have something nice to take us out on here?
[115:40]
Joe List
How about I have a couple updates I kind of want to get in for.
[115:43]
Sam Morril
All right, it's the 100th episode. Let's do it.
[115:48]
Caller 2
Hi, Savi. Hi, eldest. Hi, guest. I am a returning call, so I'm calling with an update and a new question.
[115:59]
Sam Morril
Great.
[116:00]
Caller 2
I'm a girl whose sister's boyfriend was flirting with her.
[116:07]
Sam Morril
Oh, yeah.
[116:08]
Caller 2
I took your advice. I talked to my sister. She was actually not entirely surprised.
[116:17]
Sam Morril
Hilarious.
[116:17]
Caller 2
Because apparently he had, like, made a couples three way about.
[116:26]
Sam Morril
About your girlfriend's sister. And at the same time, that's over.
[116:31]
Caller 2
That's done. Thank God. But I'm calling today because pause this very first episode.
[116:39]
Sam Morril
It feels nice to hear, like, our advice actually work like, this is open and shut. Talk to your sister, and it immediately ends to him break. Breaking up with a dirt bag. So that feels good.
[116:52]
Joe List
Yeah. And it wasn't even her sister having, like, no idea. She had a sense.
[116:55]
Sam Morril
She was like. Yeah.
[116:56]
Joe List
Even just talking to her was, like, the push she needed to hear it out loud.
[117:00]
Sam Morril
This. You don't even have to listen to the show. Just leave the voicemail and then go talk to the person the question is about, and it will always solve your shit. But anyway, go ahead, Elvis.
[117:12]
Caller 2
Thank God. But I'm calling today because on very first episode of Bobby's World with Sam, you stated that Savi's World was unapologetically anti breast reduction. But on the episode where you read my question with Joe Lift, he was saying that he doesn't like, like, long, like, sagging, like, big boobs.
[117:47]
Rachel Feinstein
He's a good driver. He has no taste, though.
[117:49]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Joe really is a strange guy. I'll keep it real. Joe keeps talking about high heels in bed, for Christ's sake. I know he'd rather.
[117:58]
Rachel Feinstein
He'd rather, like, got into women through, like, Penthouse forums or some shit.
[118:03]
Sam Morril
The fuck does he know about?
[118:05]
Stavros Halkias
He's still reading his porn and magazine. Worked by day, but at night, she wanted to be the pile drive.
[118:13]
Sam Morril
All right.
[118:15]
Caller 2
Like, big boobs with big nipples.
[118:19]
Sam Morril
Sounds pretty cool.
[118:20]
Caller 2
And I'll. I'll keep it real with you, Stavia. That's. That's what your girl is working with over there.
[118:25]
Sam Morril
Nothing wrong with that, sister.
[118:27]
Caller 2
It's not about getting a breast reduction.
[118:30]
Rachel Feinstein
No, don't do it. Boom.
[118:32]
Caller 2
They also lift. They make the nipples small, taller. The whole, like, tits improve. For reference, I'm like 511, like, 170, and I wear, like, an ear and F cup, so they've always been, like, disproportionately big for my body, you know, it's Crazy.
[118:57]
Rachel Feinstein
I heard my girlfriend's plane crash, so. Want to hang sometime?
[119:02]
Sam Morril
That'd be cool.
[119:03]
Rachel Feinstein
What is it, honey? No. Oh, God, I'm so vulnerable. This is crazy.
[119:11]
Caller 2
So if I got reduction, they would still be big? They wouldn't be, you know, too small.
[119:17]
Sam Morril
Okay.
[119:17]
Caller 2
Or anything, but I feel like part of my identity is that I've always had big boobs. Ever since I've had boobs, you know, they've been big. So that would be kind of hard to let go. But it'd be nice to have Sam's.
[119:37]
Stavros Halkias
Empathetic sound, not wear a bra and stuff.
[119:41]
Caller 2
So, you know when you have a question about your car, you call mechanic.
[119:47]
Sam Morril
That's right.
[119:47]
Caller 2
You have a question about your T, you call st. That's absolutely right.
[119:51]
Sam Morril
I want to know. Absolutely true. True Gas thinks.
[119:55]
Caller 2
What Eldest thinks? Is size more important or is the shape, the perkiness, the nipple, the whole kind of package, Is that more important? Love you guys. Love the podcast. Bye.
[120:09]
Sam Morril
Well, thank you again for calling in, and we're glad the first question, our first advice worked out. Now, yes, philosophically, I can never go on record, as in support of a breast. Breast reduction. It's simply. I can't. My hands are tied here. It would just. Politically, it would just be. It would cause a whole mess. If I was ever on the record as pro breast reduction, however, and I.
[120:36]
Rachel Feinstein
We really know, however. What are you doing?
[120:38]
Sam Morril
I just. Don't worry about what. Don't listen to what Joe List says. He's out now.
[120:45]
Stavros Halkias
As a feminist, can I just say that? And I start all my sentences that way.
[120:48]
Sam Morril
Yes.
[120:48]
Stavros Halkias
Can I just say that? It's called titty downsizing.
[120:53]
Sam Morril
Titty downsizing. We're so against now. I am listening. When you frame it as a titty improvement, though, they're still going to be fat, remember?
[121:04]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah. And she's going for. For sturdiness, like, if she's smaller. Yeah, I do. Like, yeah.
[121:12]
Sam Morril
I think there's something awesome about big ass titty sloppy was just on our pod spilling over.
[121:18]
Rachel Feinstein
She was talking about how her tits got so big during pregnancy that you get, like a blue vein. She goes, it was disgusting. And I was kind of like, is that gross? I kind of like, sounds pretty cool. Or like Levies and Katrina. I'm like, it's not going to hold.
[121:29]
Sam Morril
I agree. I agree. I'm fully with you. That's awesome.
[121:33]
Stavros Halkias
You know what infuriates me is how as soon as she started talking about how massive her tits were, you guys both more gentle with her.
[121:41]
Sam Morril
Well, we started respecting her therapy voice.
[121:44]
Stavros Halkias
Like he's making the same noises as psychoanalyst users.
[121:49]
Sam Morril
Well, this is serious question, Rachel. Show her some respect, God damn it. She has huge tits. I will not have you talk down to her that way.
[121:59]
Rachel Feinstein
These things need to be handled with care, Rachel.
[122:03]
Stavros Halkias
You guys sound like the voice of lube.
[122:07]
Rachel Feinstein
Infuriates me.
[122:09]
Sam Morril
Look, all. Okay, so that's my. Philosophically, I can never be on the record. I also do have another opinion, which is your body's your. You know, do whatever you want. Your body, your choice. So.
[122:27]
Rachel Feinstein
You know, also she said that these big tits are part of her identity. You don't want to change who you are. Be true to you.
[122:35]
Sam Morril
I agree with that.
[122:35]
Rachel Feinstein
Think about that. You know.
[122:37]
Sam Morril
Yeah, so true. Sam, Rachel, do you have anything you'd.
[122:40]
Stavros Halkias
Like to say before covered in the children's books I read to my daughter?
[122:46]
Sam Morril
No. Tits too big.
[122:50]
Stavros Halkias
Be true to you when it comes to having a fat rag. God damn the both of you.
[122:57]
Sam Morril
You want. You want to stop crying? We'll get you some new tits. You ain't turning. We get you the biggest tit you've ever seen.
[123:07]
Stavros Halkias
Nothing's too good for my sweetheart. What do you want, baby doll? A fat rock with some nice new shiny te.
[123:20]
Rachel Feinstein
Worth it. Your choice, honey. You want a French bulldog or some big juicy fun bags?
[123:24]
Sam Morril
What do you think?
[123:28]
Stavros Halkias
I mean, I always say when you're trying to decide whether to downsize your rack or not, the first thing you do is to call. Stop.
[123:38]
Sam Morril
Yeah.
[123:39]
Stavros Halkias
Discussion with your doctor.
[123:40]
Sam Morril
I guess it's going to be hard just kind of. With no visuals.
[123:44]
Stavros Halkias
I guess that's kind of a big rack left. And if we could play some softer piano music during this, she's still going to have whatever they play during the Oscars. And in the memoriam section, I will. While I'm talking about, we need some dms.
[123:57]
Rachel Feinstein
And please be gentle because remember, I just lost my girlfriend. Can only just be described as a terrorist attack.
[124:05]
Stavros Halkias
So.
[124:06]
Rachel Feinstein
Yeah, we'd love to know more.
[124:09]
Sam Morril
But do.
[124:10]
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I think, like, if they're. If you're making you uncomfortable and I'll let you guys finish coming while I finish talking to her.
[124:18]
Sam Morril
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. I gotta take a little nap while you say this. Boring.
[124:23]
Rachel Feinstein
Does anyone have a cigarette, by the way?
[124:27]
Stavros Halkias
Why? You guys order a pizza and empty your balls. I'll discuss this operation or no operation question. Yeah, I mean, if you're. If you. First of all, you still have a lot of rack left, which is what my grandma always said. Again, I keep coming back to my grandma.
[124:44]
Sam Morril
She's such a wise woman.
[124:45]
Stavros Halkias
If you. She was Roslyn Schneider. She. She really understood life. But no, I mean if you still. You still have a big rack, which is part of your identity, which is another secondary chapter. That's another fucking after school special. But I feel like. Then just do whatever is most comfortable for you and you guys can still come to her hypothetical titties.
[125:05]
Sam Morril
Yes. So yeah, two competing schools of thought. It's up to you to decide what you think is right. And we're rooting for you in those big old titties.
[125:14]
Stavros Halkias
How to have fun anytime, anywhere. Step one, go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com Got it. Step two, collect your welcome bonus.
[125:23]
Rachel Feinstein
Come to papa.
[125:24]
Sam Morril
Welcome bonus.
[125:25]
Stavros Halkias
Step three, Play hundreds of casino style games for free.
[125:28]
Ryan
That's a lot of games all for free.
[125:30]
Stavros Halkias
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[125:31]
Sam Morril
Woohoo.
[125:33]
Stavros Halkias
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[125:44]
Eldis
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[126:00]
Sam Morril
Another. You have another update for us? Eldest. Yeah.
[126:06]
Caller 3
Yo, what up Stab? And all this. This isn't really a question. I just wanted to say thank you for calling everybody out for being a fucking coward when it comes to talking to women. Because that was definitely me and I took it to heart. I was being a coward forever.
[126:24]
Sam Morril
Excellent.
[126:25]
Caller 3
And I was just like, you know what it stop being a bitch, man.
[126:28]
Sam Morril
There you go.
[126:29]
Caller 3
And I've been talking to so many bitches lately. Like, God, my life has literally turned.
[126:35]
Rachel Feinstein
Around because you only heard part of this.
[126:40]
Caller 3
Like I'm 20 turned around because of this. It sounds. But I'm being serious. Like I'm 25 and I'm talking to a 44 year old bitch. Like that is some out of my dreams. I never would have thought I could have done that before, but I literally just stopped being a bitch and went for it. Like thank you stuff.
[127:04]
Stavros Halkias
I just have so many different feelings about a man. He's like, when it comes to struggling with my confidence stuff, you really change the ways. And now I come up to every gash I see and then I point to my own dick, nod and wink.
[127:23]
Sam Morril
You know. Know, whatever it takes. He's a young man. Maybe he's a little rough around the edges right now, but we love to see a success story here at Stavorld, particularly one that, you know, leads to some MILF pussy. So good for you, man. We love to hear it. That's awesome. I'm taking nothing but positives from this.
[127:43]
Rachel Feinstein
Good luck with you and to your as well.
[127:47]
Stavros Halkias
He said an angerly too now when it comes to these holes.
[127:54]
Sam Morril
Wow, that's awesome. Is that the final one?
[127:57]
Joe List
Yep.
[127:58]
Sam Morril
Well, thank you guys for being on the episode and I want to say thank you to. Thanks for Everybody for listening. 100 episodes. 200 if you count the Patreons. The. The podcast has actually been so much more successful than I thought it was going to be, to be completely honest with you, and more fun than I ever thought it was going to be. I did not really want to do the podcast when I started it. I'll be honest. I just. I just left come town. I had lost all my main source of income and I was like, we got to come up with something else. Eldest, I can't pay you to make clips. I'm barely. I'm running out of money. Ah, podcasting sucks. But then we came up with this concept. It's been fun as I get to talk to my friends. It's a. It's always fun. I bring. I have the funniest people, people who do it. It's been awesome talking to you guys through your voicemails and then through the live calls. And somehow, two years later, this has become my favorite thing that I do. And I don't think we're gonna ever stop, to be honest with you. It's just fun as to do so. Thank you. Here's to a hundred more and we'll see you next week.
[129:01]
Rachel Feinstein
Can I add one thing?
[129:02]
Sam Morril
Yeah. Yeah.
[129:03]
Rachel Feinstein
New tour just went on sale. The Errors Tour. It's Sammy's new tour.
[129:08]
Sam Morril
Love it. Check.
[129:08]
Rachel Feinstein
Check it out all on my website. I'm hitting 45 new cities.
[129:13]
Sam Morril
You're on the bus.
[129:14]
Rachel Feinstein
I'm on the tour bus for the whole time. So literally, like, pretty much, if I'm not coming to your city this round, I'll be there in the fall. But yeah, 20, 25, the errors tour. Just to sound like Taylor Swift so that some dude can be like, I got Errors Tour tickets. And women are like, yay. And then they come to my show.
[129:33]
Sam Morril
And they're so man.
[129:35]
Stavros Halkias
Also, watch my hour special on Netflix. It's called Big Guy. Or go to my page on Punch Up Live Doc. What is it?
[129:43]
Rachel Feinstein
Punch up Punch Up Live.
[129:46]
Stavros Halkias
Rachel Feinstein or Rachel Feinstein.com to get tickets to see me on the road. And I have to say, 100 episodes.
[129:53]
Rachel Feinstein
It's amazing.
[129:54]
Stavros Halkias
That's them is no small cans.
[129:59]
Sam Morril
Big fat titties.
[130:00]
Rachel Feinstein
Ms. Pod is awesome.
[130:01]
Sam Morril
Thank you. And thank you to Eldis. Bad at his job, but the number.
[130:06]
Joe List
One producer in our hearts needs a little J.
[130:10]
Sam Morril
He's going to say qua. Whatever.
[130:13]
Rachel Feinstein
The dream team, dude. You guys crush it.
[130:18]
Sam Morril
All right, we'll see you next week, guys. Bye bye.
[130:39]
Ryan
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[131:05]
Stavros Halkias
No purchase necessary VGW Group void where.
[131:07]
Eldis
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