#104 - Caleb Hearon

Summary

Podcast Summary: Stavvy's World Episode #104 – Caleb Hearon

Introduction In Episode #104 of Stavvy's World, host Stavros Halkias welcomes comedian Caleb Hearon for an engaging and candid conversation. Released on November 25, 2024, this Thanksgiving-themed episode delves into personal anecdotes, family dynamics, career insights, and listeners' questions, all delivered with the characteristic humor and camaraderie that fans have come to expect from Stavros and his friends.

Family and Thanksgiving Stories The episode kicks off with Stav and Caleb sharing light-hearted banter about Thanksgiving, setting a cozy and relatable tone. Caleb opens up about his complex relationship with his absentee father, recounting a particularly tumultuous Thanksgiving experience:

• Father's Absence and Meltdowns Caleb describes his father's erratic behavior: "He couldn't tolerate it, so he goes to get milk and never quite makes it back" ([03:05]). This absence deeply affected Caleb, leading to strained family relationships and a sense of instability during holiday gatherings.

• Grandma's Role and Family Dynamics Despite the challenges, Caleb fondly remembers his grandmother, who hosted Thanksgiving gatherings, providing a semblance of normalcy and warmth: "My grandma always hosted Grandma's the... that's a great Thanksgiving" ([06:31]). However, uncles like Travis, the "chiller, Zen dude," introduce a contrasting dynamic, diffusing tense situations with his calm demeanor ([17:44]).

Comedy Career and Personal Growth Stav and Caleb delve into their journeys in the comedy world, highlighting the struggles and triumphs they've encountered:

• Early Career Challenges Stav reflects on his first acting gig, portraying a "piece of shit" character, which inadvertently helped launch his career: "My career actually did take off after that. I was kind of a piece of shit" ([07:32]).

• Caleb's Comedy Evolution Caleb shares his experiences of overcoming self-doubt and embracing his identity as a comedian: "I did work very hard for it, but I'm trying to take full advantage" ([49:32]). He emphasizes the importance of authenticity and the shift from seeking approval to enjoying the creative process.

• Breaking Stereotypes Both hosts discuss the challenges faced by gay comedians in a predominantly straight industry, advocating for more inclusive and diverse voices: "Stav, you're gonna love me" ([10:10]) and "It's part of the Anti-Incel podcast" ([29:45]).

Political Discussions Interwoven with personal stories, Stav and Caleb engage in a spirited discussion about the U.S. political landscape:

• Election Reflections Caleb expresses disappointment in political figures endorsing controversial candidates, lamenting the two-party system: "It's like, well, now we'll see. Like, yeah... And it's that thought" ([24:21]).

• Media Influence and Comedians The hosts debate the role of media personalities in politics, with Stav questioning the idea of a "leftist Joe Rogan" and Caleb critiquing personalities who blur personal opinions with public personas: "How did they get the conversation on manhood?" ([31:12]).

Advice to Callers Throughout the episode, Stav and Caleb take calls from listeners seeking advice on various issues:

1. Caller Concerned About Being Overcomplicated in Relationships A caller grapples with maintaining a long-term relationship post-separation, seeking guidance on balancing co-parenting and personal happiness. Stav offers blunt yet supportive advice, emphasizing the importance of personal well-being over pleasing others:

   • “Do what feels good. You need to make sure that you're not just holding on to the life you had together because it's comfortable.” ([89:33]-[90:03])

2. Caller Struggling with Payment Obligations in Dating Another caller confronts the awkwardness of feeling compelled to pay for his girlfriend's friends' outings. Caleb and Stav respond with direct, humorous critiques while underscoring the importance of setting boundaries:

   • Caleb advises, “Relax. There is no reason you should be this worked up.” ([96:25]-[97:06])
   • Stav echoes the sentiment, “You gotta just be a nice guy.” ([98:03]-[99:00])

3. Caller Dealing with Body Dysmorphia Post-Weight Loss A 24-year-old caller seeks advice on whether to undergo surgery for gynecomastia after significant weight loss. Caleb addresses the issue with empathy and factual information:

   • “If you're really feeling like this is something that's really holding you back, go make the surgery.” ([105:53]-[106:14])

Humorous Banter and Closing Remarks The episode is marked by Stav and Caleb's trademark humor and playful ribbing, especially during callers' interactions. Their light-hearted exchanges about body image, relationships, and personal growth provide both entertainment and valuable insights.

• On Relationships and Personal Desires Stav opens up about his desire to settle down, sharing his vulnerabilities and aspirations:

  • “I envision coming home to a loving environment instead of like, yeah, just an apartment.” ([63:08]).

• Encouraging Authenticity and Self-Love Both hosts encourage listeners to embrace who they are and pursue genuine connections, blending humor with heartfelt advice.

Conclusion In this Thanksgiving episode, Stavvy's World Episode #104 offers a blend of personal storytelling, comedic insights, and practical advice. Stavros Halkias and Caleb Hearon navigate through discussions about family, career, politics, and personal challenges with humor and honesty, making this episode a memorable addition to their series. Listeners are left with a sense of warmth, laughter, and thoughtful reflections on navigating life's complexities.

Notable Quotes:

• Caleb on his father's absence: "He couldn't tolerate it, so he goes to get milk and never quite makes it back." ([03:05])
• Stav on his first acting role: "My career actually did take off after that. I was kind of a piece of shit." ([07:32])
• Caleb on political disappointment: "It's like, well, now we'll see. Like, yeah..." ([24:21])
• Stav advising the widow caller: "Do what feels good. You need to make sure that you're not just holding on to the life you had together because it's comfortable." ([89:33]-[90:03])
• Caleb on setting boundaries: "Relax. There is no reason you should be this worked up." ([96:25]-[97:06])

Watch and Listen: Don’t forget to tune into Stavvy's World on your favorite podcast platform and join Stavros and his friends for more problem-solving and laughter each week. Happy Thanksgiving!

Transcript

[Stavros Halkias]

With the five dollar meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken.

[Caleb Hearon]

Then get a small fry, a small.

[Stavros Halkias]

Drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not.

[Caleb Hearon]

A lot of money. Price and participation may vary. For a limited time only. Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour. And you can get tickets to see them live near you Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronnie Chang, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian, Ashton Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's livenation.comcomedy. welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-Stav call in. We'll solve all your problems. It's fucking. It's Thanksgiving. It's the Monday of Thanksgiving. And my. My beautiful friend Caleb is here. Thanks for coming, Caleb.

[Caleb Hearon]

Thanks for having me, buddy.

[Stavros Halkias]

How's it going, man?

[Caleb Hearon]

It's great. I love being in here.

[Stavros Halkias]

You love being in Greece. Elders just called you a beautiful hulking man.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, Eldest called me a fat right before we started recording, by the way. Go ahead.

[Eldis]

I'm a beautiful hulking man myself.

[Caleb Hearon]

And, brother, look, you're. You're not going to find any mistreatment for me. I see how you're treated when the cameras are off. Stavi is not nice to this guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

I run a real degenerate style ship around here.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah. Watching Stavi's podcast at this point is like buying Nike when they were doing Child Factory. There's one savory business practice when don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Try and assuage your guilt stopped. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. What kind of socks are you wearing? They got the check on them?

[Caleb Hearon]

No, my deal with Nike says I.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can'T talk about that.

[Caleb Hearon]

Gotta pay that mortgage, brother.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, man. Thank you for coming to Queens. It's. It's beautiful to have you here, I think. What were your Thanksgivings like, man? Because I did a little research. I listened to the podcast you do with your mother. A beautiful person. I did.

[Caleb Hearon]

Oh, she's funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's great. She's great. And you were. It sounds like a little gay terror.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

As a child, you were just a little.

[Caleb Hearon]

Just a little emotional homo Al Qaeda leader.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'd like to lead with the story about how you weren't grateful about a television she purchased you on Christmas.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And she clawed, she fought.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

She Black Friday.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

She stood out there. A woman working three jobs. Yeah. To get you a TV for you to watch. I'm going to guess Clueless on tbs. Okay. Yeah. I'm just guessing.

[Caleb Hearon]

I would rein it in a little bit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Am I off?

[Caleb Hearon]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

If I was off, I take it back. But I just feel like I nailed it.

[Caleb Hearon]

You're a little comfortable. You're right. But. But it's a little familiar.

[Stavros Halkias]

I just get. I said I'm going to guess if it was wrong. That's what we like to call a bet, you know? And it hit.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm gambling on what gay guys like 9 times out of 10, that parlay is hitting.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's hitting, baby. Hey, listen, did I, did me and elders watch Clues on TBS too? Yes. We had different reasons. Maybe, but it's all good. And you. That, that, that really stuck out to me. But I'm just, I wanted to imagine what, what your. What your thanks. What your typical Thanksgiving setup was like, where did you go? Because you also have a very interesting. Your family's interesting. You have like a lot of. Like, you were close to your grandparents, but your dad wasn't really around. Like, you're close to his side of the family, but he was out and about. I love to get into him. Yeah, he sounds cool.

[Caleb Hearon]

I love. By the way, just looking over at my friend saying to me, your dad wasn't really around, by the way. A turkey costume.

[Stavros Halkias]

In a turkey costume. Right into your broken home.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Talking about the holidays, which is probably the time it's the most, most painful to think about your happy.

[Caleb Hearon]

Thank you. Not being around my guest today was not lovable enough as a child. And so his father did clock out. Caleb, thoughts?

[Stavros Halkias]

Caleb, thoughts? Why do you think your dad left on this beautiful Thanksgiving Monday? Why do you think?

[Caleb Hearon]

So you're sitting around watching these faggy little movies, I imagine, and your dad can't tolerate it, so he goes to get milk and never quite makes it back.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you think of that? What do you think of that? He probably got distracted watching other boys playing football.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Playing two hand touch.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'll tell you what.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you were in there.

[Caleb Hearon]

Oh my God. And you know what? You know what? A lot of people don't talk about Jackass. Jackass was great for gay boys. Interesting because all the older, all the cute older guys were like getting into like ball sack stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Caleb Hearon]

They're like, dude, what if my ball sack was out? And I was like, what if, what if it was.

[Stavros Halkias]

What if it was? That's. I never see. I thought the ball sack was a. A safe space because it couldn't really. It didn't feel sexual.

[Caleb Hearon]

You thought that's Many, many straight guys think that the ball sack is a non sexual site of neutrality.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes. It's the Switzerland of genitalia.

[Caleb Hearon]

You have no idea what it could do for me. This benefits me in ways you cannot imagine. You have no idea. I had friends in high school, they were obsessed with doing ball sack bits. And every time I was like, I like to see that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

You know, it is nice.

[Stavros Halkias]

The brain. Yeah, hanging brain.

[Caleb Hearon]

Just to see a ball sack and just to know that I'm not really supposed to see the ball sack.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Caleb Hearon]

You know, it was hot and then.

[Stavros Halkias]

There'S something a little naughty also.

[Caleb Hearon]

They couldn't help themselves. They get the ball sack out for the bit and then all of a sudden they want to put a top hat on their dicks and other dicks out. You know, I never mind it. I said go.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right.

[Caleb Hearon]

Jackass was very homosexual to me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely. Well, it definitely. I could you turn that one degree and it's gets the first part of gay porn. A very specific gay porn.

[Caleb Hearon]

Maybe a half a degree.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe. Maybe you just turn the cameras off and you could imagine they're sucking you.

[Caleb Hearon]

Tell Lance Bangs to go a breather. That camera.

[Stavros Halkias]

Why don't you dump the footage, man?

[Caleb Hearon]

We're going to steo. Just got stung by a thousand bees. We're going to suck him off as a tree.

[Stavros Halkias]

It seems only fair to me get.

[Caleb Hearon]

Johnny Knoxville's gay little ass in there. He was cute.

[Stavros Halkias]

He was cute. They were cute. Cute guy. Even bam. At the time, you know, as a little skater in his skater twink era, I could see.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, the one beard was cute.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ryan Dunn, may he rest in peace.

[Caleb Hearon]

He rest in peace. So they were all doing it for me. But my Thanksgivings. My grandma. My grandma always hosted Grandma's the.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a great Thanksgiving.

[Caleb Hearon]

Dude. You want to. Okay, I'll tell you a story. Please, since you want to hear about my dad.

[Stavros Halkias]

I do. I actually do. Because there wasn't. And by the way, we're here, Caleb. We were both in a movie. That's Thanksgiving theme. Sweethearts. It's out on hbo or I guess just Max now. Yeah, right. It's on Max.

[Caleb Hearon]

So Max on Thanksgiving.

[Stavros Halkias]

Max on Thanksgiving in a couple days. This is Monday. We're preparing you for Thanksgiving. You're in it. You're. You're very. I'm in it for a little bit. You. You got. You got one scene of me and you kill it. Thank you. I appreciate it.

[Caleb Hearon]

Murder it. The improv comes through.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you. Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I got to yell at two young actors. Too successful at the time. That was my first acting gig I'd ever done. And I had to be a guy yelling at the stars of the movie.

[Caleb Hearon]

Too hot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Too hot. Like 22 year olds or whatever they are. And it was fun to do because it was like, I'm a piece of shit. It felt real. I was playing a piece of shit. Down on his luck. Yeah, I was pretty close. My career actually did take off after that. I was kind of a piece of shit.

[Caleb Hearon]

Down on his luck.

[Stavros Halkias]

Down on his luck.

[Caleb Hearon]

I love that.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so I really took it out on Nico and Kiernan, you know, I really let him have it.

[Caleb Hearon]

You texted me. I did. I wasn't there for your scene because that was a part of the filming block that my character wasn't in yet. And you texted me, I guess you had seen maybe like part of the script or something. But I have a big role in the movie.

[Stavros Halkias]

You do.

[Caleb Hearon]

And you texted me. I don't know why I remember this, but I will not forget it. You text me, dude, I'm really excited for you. You really get to let your nuts hang in this one. I was like, stop.

[Stavros Halkias]

We weren't even, like, really good. Like we hadn't even met in person yet. I just thought you were a funny guy. I was like, stop.

[Caleb Hearon]

E. But you do.

[Stavros Halkias]

You do get to let your nuts hang.

[Caleb Hearon]

I do. I do get to let my nuts hang. As palme a gay teen.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're a gay team. Yes. Which. And we shot this, what, two years ago?

[Caleb Hearon]

In fact, three.

[Stavros Halkias]

Three.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you were playing a gay team. You were 26 years old at the time.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, I would have been 26. 27.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I think it was two and a half years ago.

[Stavros Halkias]

Awesome.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was. I was playing a teenager. I love that, by the way.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's about time fat people get to do that. You know what I mean? They never let a fat 27 year old play a team. It's all. You know what I mean?

[Caleb Hearon]

You're.

[Stavros Halkias]

You honestly are breaking the glass ceiling.

[Caleb Hearon]

I am.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dawson's Creek, all that shit. Every teenager movie, it's always like 20, 27, 28 year olds. Yeah, they keep it tight.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, they don't let.

[Stavros Halkias]

They don't let my boy out here.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm crashing through the glass doors at the buffet.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're Kool Aid Manning through.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm doing it for all of us. I'm doing it for all of us.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I love that I'm breaking the.

[Caleb Hearon]

Plastic lawn chair for fat guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, you are, brother. So that's so basically just to give a little context, everybody. That's why we're doing this Thanksgiving episode. And I also had another thing. I'm a bad host because I was going to say we're talking about Thanksgiving anyways. The Thanksgiving movie. Oh, and to prepare for this podcast, like I said, I listened to the episode with your mom. So plug the movie and then also just go watch that. Only that episode of so True with Caleb. Just the one. With his mom.

[Caleb Hearon]

Just the one. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then come right back here. Don't subscribe. The last thing I need.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is for people that actually prefer you that I kind of scratch 50% of what it is because I'm, like, not as problematic as other straight comics. They find you if the Venn diagram. I know. So don't check out too much of Caleb stuff.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you're coming over because you don't like, you know, if you. If. If I'm just the least problematic of all the available options. Yeah, you're gonna love him. We also have the lovable fat guy thing. You're crushing me on that, too. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

If you guys like Stavi, you're gonna love me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Certain parts of the audience not get crazy. It's not a full thing. I don't want to. I don't want all the women, basically, the few women we've gripped to get onto this podcast. Don't abandon me for Caleb. I know. I know you, like. You'd like a funner, you know, gay version of me who's even. Who's more worldly, you know, just has more energy to. Doesn't phone in his podcast. You try. You had research. You had asked me stuff.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I just watched one podcast while I was doing the dishes. That's all I've done.

[Caleb Hearon]

If you guys are watching Stavian going, I love this. I wish I knew who this guy voted for. Come on over to so True podcast. Come on. The politics are right over there.

[Stavros Halkias]

How dare you.

[Caleb Hearon]

Don't worry about it, guys. Come over to so True. We're going to take good care of you.

[Stavros Halkias]

How dare you. It's not. Here's the thing. Here's what we are. Ready. I won't let you. Like, I definitely didn't vote for Trump, but you don't know if I voted for Kamala. You know what I Mean, whereas you. We know msnbc. Caleb, over here, you actually don't know what I did. Oh, really?

[Caleb Hearon]

You think you do? But you'll notice I never said I was voting for Kamal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, no, I didn't.

[Caleb Hearon]

But I was dismayed about it. I voted in Missouri. Okay, that's fair.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's fair. I voted in New York. And it didn't matter what you did anyway, right? So you voted.

[Caleb Hearon]

You wrote in Stavros.

[Stavros Halkias]

I wrote in myself.

[Caleb Hearon]

Hey, as a kid, we would kill.

[Stavros Halkias]

We would kill.

[Caleb Hearon]

We would win every electoral vote. Yeah, but you probably wouldn't even do that with me. You probably don't even want to run for office.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'd love to be. I would be vp, though. I don't want to be president.

[Caleb Hearon]

Oh, for sure. There's no chance.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, what is that? I was being nice. I'm older. I'm more experienced. I'm smarter.

[Caleb Hearon]

How old are you?

[Stavros Halkias]

35.

[Caleb Hearon]

You could run.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm the only one who could run it. Between me and you, I can. I'm the only can legally run. Yeah, so show some respect to your elders is what I'm saying. The point I'm making is don't. Actually, don't even watch Zone with his mom. I forget I mentioned this podcast. Okay, but watch the movie. It's a Thanksgiving movie. And back to the Thanksgiving question about your grandpa.

[Caleb Hearon]

Just while we're talking about all this, do you want to tell them that you have refused to have me on your show until it was about a movie that you're also in? You have ducked me at every turn. You have dodged me at parties.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Caleb Hearon]

You've seen me on the subway and run the other way.

[Stavros Halkias]

I've absolutely ducked out. Wow. I love looking at photos of my most cherished loved ones, possessions and experiences. Oh, hey, guys. Sorry. You caught me looking at my classic Carver matte frame from Aura. And the holidays are all about connecting with loved ones. You know, there's no better. There's no better way to do that with a digital picture frame from Aura. I got these from my mommy. She loves them. She sees her beautiful sons, her beautiful baby boys. She sees us constantly. Fun vacations. Mine's a little different. I have some AI generated MILFs on mine, but we're different strokes for different folks. This is me flexing back to the MILFs. You know, it's all. It's a beautiful product. For a limited time, visit auraframes.com and get 45 off. Or as best selling Carver Matte frames by using promo code STAVIA checkout. That's a. You are a frames.com promo code. Starvi this exclusive black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply.

[Caleb Hearon]

No Thanksgiving.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ok.

[Caleb Hearon]

So here's a story for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

About my absentee father.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love it.

[Caleb Hearon]

Who has died at this point. So we can talk about this rip he one Thanksgiving, my dad was a really confusing kind of guy where he was like my dad, you could never really pin him down. Like he, in one sentence, he would be like, Hillary Clinton is a lizard. And then he'd be like, fuck the police. You know, like, he just was such a love that. No, he was awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

You couldn't pin him down. And it was. Honestly, he was fascinating.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

But he, he, like, sometimes we have this really strange moral uprightness kind of thing. Even though he wasn't a super conservative guy, didn't make a lot of sense. He was like a video gamer. I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, early gamer.

[Caleb Hearon]

Early gamer. No PCs. And like my dad, my dad really was brilliant. Like, he was a very smart guy. Yeah. Also an.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

So he was really funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah. But one Thanksgiving, me and my uncle Andy were playing Wii Fit. We were like doing the Wii Fit stuff and Andy was balding at the time. It is still balding. Sorry, Andy. And it's. It's relevant. I'm like, Andy's a little rough tooth.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's got Christ. Cross eyes.

[Caleb Hearon]

He's a very handsome gentleman who I love dearly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love it.

[Caleb Hearon]

But he, he was balding at the time. And it matters because he had gotten like a much older we fit score than me. You know, he'd gotten like 82 or something. You know how that game is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Caleb Hearon]

And we were sitting at the dentist. My dad's sitting in the living room. And on Thanksgiving, this is when I was like maybe 16.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right. And my whole family. I've gotten a driver's license now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's big.

[Caleb Hearon]

My whole family is worried that I'm going to stop coming around to my dad's side because me and my. Because my dad's kind of an asshole. I go, maybe when Caleb has a choice, he won't come around.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right, right.

[Caleb Hearon]

They're worried about that. And they're telling me that my grandma's going, I know your dad. An please continue to come around.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. So I'm now bringing myself on Thanksgiving.

[Caleb Hearon]

This is Thanksgiving day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caleb Hearon]

And we're having the meal. Extended family is over. And I'm giving Andy about you know, we're goofing off and I was like. I was like, oh, the guy who's 82 years old? This 82 year old over here or something. Some stupid little joke about our Wii Fit agents because we're goofing off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Caleb Hearon]

My dad, for some reason in the other room, thinks that I am disrespecting Andy and doesn't know the context of the Wii Fit. I guess.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And thinks I'm just like cracking a joke about somebody's age.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. You're being ageist.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, and I am, but not in that moment.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're against the old.

[Caleb Hearon]

I don't like elderly.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, because you never plan on becoming one.

[Caleb Hearon]

No, certainly not. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You plan on checking out past 45.

[Caleb Hearon]

So. So I make this joke to Andy and my dad stands up in the living room and starts screaming at me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Whoa. Middle of Thanksgiving.

[Caleb Hearon]

Middle of Thanksgiving. Mind you, we're all eating at the table, he's eating in the living room. This is the kind of guy we're talking.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Caleb Hearon]

He just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, this is main meal.

[Caleb Hearon]

This is the meal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. This isn't even the post. The second meal where everyone's on the couch watching. Some are having desserts, some are having their second course. This is the one where everyone's grabbed their first role and he's by himself in the living room.

[Caleb Hearon]

Not by himself. My grandpa always watches TV in there. It's actually. That part's not that weird for us, but anyway, gotcha starts screaming at me and I'm like, shell shocked because I literally, at this point, I don't. I can't understand why I'm getting in trouble.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And my dad, also as much of an as he is, he's never, like, screamed at me, like, going off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I was like, what is going on? But before I could say anything, my Uncle Travis, who is 10, 12 years younger than my dad and like a total. My cool hippie guy. He like, lives on a farm in rural Missouri. And just like, he's just like a total. He has no phone. You can't get a hold of him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Caleb Hearon]

He's like. He, like, studied, like sculpture in community college and then moved out and took over the farm from his dad. He's a total, like, Missouri hippie Zen dude. I think the first book he recommended to me was Zen in the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Okay. He's like. He's like a chiller.

[Stavros Halkias]

Chill dude.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah. And like a thinker and like a quiet guy. My Uncle Travis. My dad starts in. He maybe gets 30 seconds into his yelling, and my Uncle Travis stands up and goes, shut the up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Riles up your coolest, most chill uncle.

[Caleb Hearon]

Oh, he's. And then. So now all of. All of us were definitely dismayed by dad, but not shocked. Sure. Now that Uncle Travis is yelling, we're all like, what's going on?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. What's in the air? Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

My dad is shocked and does sit down and shut up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Caleb Hearon]

And then it was like we just kind of go back to having the meal and later on to Andy. I was like, I mean, obviously that was insane, but did you know what I was after with that?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And he was like, yeah, I don't know what your dad was on about. We were having fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

And he just chose that moment to just focus.

[Caleb Hearon]

And it was really funny because my dad has. My dad has a lot of iconic blow ups. Like. Like most of our. Like, now that he's passed. A lot of our. Like, when we're sitting around laughing about old dad stories, it's a lot of, like, remember that time he went off on the milkman?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, how embarrassing of him for him. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

We look back fondly on his meltdowns.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

But this one was so bizarre.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I had a meltdown dead, too. But it was. There was never. We still don't have too much fondness. Just a lot of broken coffee tables. And, you know, it was a lot of. Yeah. Threatening to have. Well, YouTube has been frowning upon this. The thing my dad threatened to do. You really can't talk about it too much on YouTube anymore. But, you know, kind of. Let's say he kept threatening to check out when things weren't going his way.

[Caleb Hearon]

King.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Sorry to say. That's awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

He really behaved like. Kind of like a. Yeah. Kind of like Sky Ferreira type. Insane. But, you know. You know, like b. What is it? The manic. What's the thing that hot girls have many.

[Caleb Hearon]

Pixie dream girl.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no. The, like, the one where they're insane and bpd. Bpd. Yeah. He kind of had a little BPD vibes going, by the way. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Just want to check in with you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's not just girls who have bpd.

[Stavros Halkias]

I just think of it as a hot girl disease. Some of the best pussy of all time also goes hand in hand.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I think my dad had a little bit of that going on.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I'm not good. I honestly don't think my dad had good. If I had to guess Not a big, not big on hygiene. You know, he was out there. A lot of sawdust in his bussy, if I had to guess.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nothing. You're interested in her suit, man. Yeah. When you not even want to talk about my dad.

[Caleb Hearon]

When you talk about pussy. I've told you this before. It triggers my fight or flight. It's such a scary. It's such a scary thing to me because you're such a. I like you a lot. You're such a lovable guy. And then when you talk about pussy, it's like I'm reminded that you're kind of an animal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I am. Yeah. Sometimes you have that, you know, you have. You can have people had like alligators as pets.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or rhinoceroses. You know what I mean? Like that's kind of. I'm like, we're like that friendship where it's like a dog and a cheetah. You know what I mean? I'm like cheetah, unlike, of course. Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm adorable. And you're like a little dangerous. People were. When you came on my show, there were a lot of comments, people being like, I am shocked at this alliance. Okay. I love it.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, but, but it makes sense though because you also are. You're straight up from Missouri. You, you can hang with anyone, dude. You know what I mean? Like the goal, that is the. And that is also part of it of like cuz you grew up in a very like a small ass.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Town where like you were saying everybody's like pretty. You know, just the. I would assume that the, you know, where you start is like kind of conservative like most people, you know, Christian, you know, super religious, that kind of thing.

[Caleb Hearon]

Everyone is str. Straight white, Christian.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn. Yeah, everyone is straight.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right. Christian. There might be a couple. There are a couple Democrats sprinkled in there, but they keep it real tight.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's not something you talk about, you know, and it's something the town kind of knows.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Like they're like, they're like, Pam's a Democrat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Caleb Hearon]

We just, you know, it's like that's, that's her thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't bring that up.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't bring it up in mixed company.

[Caleb Hearon]

Let her do it. It doesn't matter. She doesn't have any allies.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

As long as it's not spreading.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally, totally, totally.

[Caleb Hearon]

Very, very straight white conservative.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that's the. And, and it's just, it's injured because I think. But you so you could just hang with that. That type of guy also.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So anybody even a little off that you're good.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm chilling.

[Stavros Halkias]

You chill.

[Caleb Hearon]

You hang out all kinds of people.

[Stavros Halkias]

I grew up around the dumbest. You know, fucking most ignorant trash of all time.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah. But you also Brit you. It's interesting because people. People that like people that are very left and very, like, a little like, you know, like, they. They still love you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

That's very interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that's the thing. That's. That we got to stop being tattletales.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The people on the left have. They've. If anything has been proven, it's like you can't be the people. Even though it's unfair. That is the perception is anyone. People say when, when. And look, some of them are dumb. I've talked to my friends where I'm like, the left doesn't just mean getting you fired because you said slurs.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a whole other set of beliefs. But it's like. Like I'm firmly on the anti tattletale thing. We gotta be cool, chill bros. You know, we gotta say pussy every once in a while.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean?

[Caleb Hearon]

And I'm allowing it. I'm gonna say my feelings about it. But I am ultimately on your show. Why didn't you say pussy? And I knew it would come up. You know, I came here knowing the pussy would arise in the con.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're the. I said pussy. I'm trying to be an ally, trying.

[Caleb Hearon]

To make you feel comfortable. My dad has good pussy and bpd. Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, okay. Immediately. I realize now I did actually say pussy. Strike that from the record. Please. Let that show.

[Caleb Hearon]

What do you think about this idea that we need a. You know, something that's popped up out of the election is people being like, we need a leftist Joe Rogan. What do you think of that?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's hilarious. I don't.

[Caleb Hearon]

What.

[Stavros Halkias]

What would that even look like?

[Caleb Hearon]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, what is that?

[Caleb Hearon]

That's what I'm wondering.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, I guess they just mean maybe it's just a kind of media that is not explicitly about politics.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then you just, like, get people into, like, you. And then it's like at the end, you kind of switch. Switcheroo them.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because even, like, it is. I am actually kind of shocked that he support, like, he endorsed Trump. Like, that actually was shocking to me too. Like, I know. I didn't think that was something he would do.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I think maybe that's more the thing of like, get people in, get them, get like, yeah, no shit. It would be great to have an insanely popular pop culture figure.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That has your politics. Duh. That would be good to have.

[Caleb Hearon]

But it's interesting that he escapes. I was extremely disappointed in his endorsement of Trump. Yeah, that's that. Yeah, yeah, also that. But because I was like, oh, I didn't have a ton of respect for that guy personally, I lost any shred that I did have. And I gotta say, I lost some respect for Tim Dillon having J.D. vance on.

[Stavros Halkias]

J.D. vance thinks, yeah, I agree with you.

[Caleb Hearon]

What do you do? I loved him, but what are you doing?

[Stavros Halkias]

I know. And I also think it's weird to this elect to see this election and be like. To think either one of them was good. To be honest, was like, I would. I get not being pumped about Kamala. That I do fully understand. Right. But to then be like, well, that means Trump's good. I mean, that's how like little kids think it's either A or B. But I mean, that is the problem with the. The like two party system. You automatically think if you don't like the thing you have always supported. If you come from, like traditional Democrats. Like, a lot of people in fucking New York voted for Trump. A lot of AOC voters voted for Trump because they were like. And she did a thing where she was like, I asked my constituents who voted for both me and Trump why they did it. And they were like, he's trying to shake it up. Just like you. You're both out. Like. And it's that thought. And it's like, well, now we'll see. Like, yeah, you know, hopefully, you know, he's already. Matt Gaetz is already fucking straight up pedophile attorney general.

[Caleb Hearon]

Attorney general being investigated for child sex trafficking.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, these are the people that say any gay guy is a groomer. And you put a literal guy under investigation for sex trafficking as the Attorney General, I mean, what the fuck are we doing here?

[Caleb Hearon]

They're like in the same breath, they're like, we're worried about the integrity of women swimming.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

If trans women are allowed in the pool. And then they're like, I think the child sex trafficking guy should be the head law man. Are you. You nuts?

[Stavros Halkias]

And he just looks stupid as. By the way, the work is. The filler's tough.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's looking like. He's looking like the Beauty and the Beast.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's not good over there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, the work is bad.

[Caleb Hearon]

Well, a lot of their work is bad.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Because you try. Imagine what a right wing plastic surgeon. Yeah, yeah, imagine like a right wing lip filler guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's not. That's not good. You need a gay person.

[Stavros Halkias]

You need. You need enough gay guys to form a quorum to tell you if it's good or not.

[Caleb Hearon]

Ironically, you need somebody who does like, like gender affirming surgery.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's true.

[Caleb Hearon]

They need some of the trans doctors.

[Stavros Halkias]

They do to get their work right. I've. I am so like, I've. I'm working on this idea where it's like, even if you hate trans people, right, the like doctors, like, if they can make. They will make you some of the ugliest people. Right. Like these, these transphobic people, right. It's like trans doctors are figuring out, man.

[Caleb Hearon]

They are like, oh, they're lacing cheese.

[Stavros Halkias]

They are doing incredible stuff and they're gender affirming. Care is. That's a, that's a tight. Sometimes that could be a tight window to like I said, making like if you're born a dude and you become a sexy lady, it's like, that's impressive. Yeah, it takes a lot of work. It's a lot harder than be going from fat to not fat.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'll tell you that much. Well, it is.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's pretty hard to lose weight.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's some easy steps. Caleb, that we could fucking do it, bro. I'm saying. But they respect that so much and it's. I mean, yeah, for us, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

For.

[Stavros Halkias]

Somebody, but like, like, like my example. Ben Shapiro, squeaky voice.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're telling me trans doctors aren't going to figure out how to get a voice coach? How to get. Exactly.

[Caleb Hearon]

Well, testosterone and a voice coach, you know, she right up, brother.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ben Shapiro should be on board just to get that deep. He could be awesome, you know?

[Caleb Hearon]

You know what I'm worried about?

[Stavros Halkias]

I want, I want beards. You know what I mean?

[Caleb Hearon]

Like, you want more?

[Stavros Halkias]

I want, I want like a beer. A sicker beard. They're working on that.

[Caleb Hearon]

I think they could do that for you. I think there might be something in Turkey.

[Stavros Halkias]

Should I go to Turkey, check it out?

[Caleb Hearon]

I might if you want to. I think you look great.

[Stavros Halkias]

But anyway, you know Matt Gates, whatever you know about. What's that?

[Caleb Hearon]

I did Z Way's show yesterday. We recorded. It's not out yet. I don't know if it'll be out by the time this comes out.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're canceled by the time this comes out.

[Caleb Hearon]

Well, I did, I did go on a pretty. Here's the thing. Yeah, I went on a long rant. She basically was listing off Republican figures. And I called every one of. In a row. Like, I was like. I was like, he's. And she, she. She doing the interview was like, I'm a little worried about you saying all of this, but I was. It was in a joking spirit, you know? And she was like. She was like. She was like, so you think they're gay? And I was like, no, I don't think. I'm not guessing at their sexuality. I'm saying putting on an L.L. bean flannel and rolling up the sleeves and pretending to be working class.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's dragon.

[Caleb Hearon]

That's drag. And it's faggy. You know, it's like a little faggy. And so I'm worried. I'm worried that the interview is gonna come out cut up and I'm gonna look and gay people are gonna get mad at me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, here, you here, now.

[Caleb Hearon]

Say it now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Say it now.

[Caleb Hearon]

I don't mean.

[Stavros Halkias]

We don't edit anything.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The audio is bad on this show. So you get. You have the floor to do everyone whatever slur you want, little buddy.

[Caleb Hearon]

On Stavy's World, they are just kind of.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know what you mean. I know.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's interesting to me that all these right wing guys that are cornering the market on. Because everyone's in a moral panic right now about young men.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

You know. Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

And you have a lot of young.

[Stavros Halkias]

Men fans and we're trying to get them. This is trying to. This is the Anti Incel podcast.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The whole idea is, if I can do it, you can do it, my friend.

[Caleb Hearon]

Brother.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's all I'm saying to the boys out there. Don't go the Tate route. Come to Stavi's World.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

We will get you some pussy.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm on board now.

[Stavros Halkias]

We will get you some pussy. We will get you some pussy. And we will see the results of the ballot box. Is that what you want? That's what I'm here for, Caleb.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yes. Let's use young men wanting pussy as a vehicle to get to the ballot.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's the secret of, let's be honest, all of civilization.

[Caleb Hearon]

Come on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Unfortunately, also in terms of. Look, this is the politics corner now. And since we're doing it, you should be. Everyone should be pro women's choice, even. I mean, you just should be. But it's like, just think of it as if you want to be pro busting.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You gotta be pro choice if you.

[Caleb Hearon]

Like to, not if you Want the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nut in a woman? You gotta be pro choice.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Full stop.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hear me now, young man. If you want a bus, you must be pro choice. We did it. We saved democracy. Caleb.

[Caleb Hearon]

No, but I do think it's funny that like these. These guys that are cornering the manhood conversation, like Andrew Tate, like Matt Gates, like all these guys. Ben Shapiro, they're pretty gay. They're. They're not. They're not m. They're not compelling. They're not strong. They're all weak, limp wristed, like smarmy little creatures. I'm like. All the men I grew up with would have actively hated you on site for sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

On site for sure. For sure.

[Caleb Hearon]

I just don't understand how it happened.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

How they got the conversation on manhood.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I don't know. It's interesting.

[Caleb Hearon]

I don't know manly than those guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

You are.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I'm like, you're stronger. My boys come to me. Yeah, boys come on over to boys. Hear me now.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you want to not.

[Caleb Hearon]

You have got to vote for abortion rights. Play the sound. Play my applause.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. That's our fucking. That's our. That's in five years. I guess we're gonna have to wait two presidential cycles.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yep.

[Stavros Halkias]

When you're the. We run together. Chop this up, Eldis here in Halkis. 20. 20. Oh, fuck. It'll be 2030. Yeah, 2032. Hey, is it Heron.

[Caleb Hearon]

One of us won't be here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Place your bets, folks.

[Caleb Hearon]

Who's gonna make it on Polymarket right now and ask what? Half of this ticket's gonna make it to the run.

[Stavros Halkias]

But we will see to it that our ideas make it. Even though. Though we will have expired. Our ideas will live forever. We will be immortal through our. If you must bust, you must vote for abortion rights.

[Caleb Hearon]

There's. We're going to work on the wording for sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we'll get work on it.

[Caleb Hearon]

Must bust. Is killing must a little sloppy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right now it's kind of a. It's like if you want to bust, you must get to the ballot box and support a woman's right to shoot.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like. Yeah, yeah, it's.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's.

[Stavros Halkias]

We got it. We got to clean it up. And we will and we absolutely will.

[Caleb Hearon]

We've got a couple years.

[Stavros Halkias]

We've got a couple. Well, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was telling my friend, we need someone to start a party in this country that is. It's called Rent and Dinner. The Rent and Dinner Party. And that's all I give a about.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep. Rent is low. You can buy a nice dinner.

[Caleb Hearon]

You can afford to go to Chili's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And you. The rent is affordable and a triple dipper is an option every night of the week.

[Stavros Halkias]

Get a triple dipper. We are crushing, dude. We're filling out the whole platform right now.

[Caleb Hearon]

A triple dipper on every table, a rent check in every mailbox and. And. And somebody to come with in every bed.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

Come on now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Yes. Absolutely.

[Caleb Hearon]

That'd be beautiful.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love it. You were. Were you always like. Did you do like, like student government? Were you like a political. Yeah, Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah. You've been running. I did too. I ran for some stuff.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was an intense little. I was an intense little zealot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was hardcore. I was like.

[Stavros Halkias]

I.

[Caleb Hearon]

My energy in high school could best be described as just like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was just like. I wanted.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

You know, anything. Anything to get attention, but for the. For not being gay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. So you were channeling it. So you were entertained. You also had that. I think everybody who ends up being comedian can be so annoying before because they have to get those laughs out somewhere, anywhere. So you have that like performer. Like you're both a closeted performer and a closeted gay man all at once.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so you got it. I. That fucking. I bet that student body government, like that shot out like a fire hose. The. Well, it's like.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's like tapped that election sneakers and being like, it's not gay because I'm not wearing the shoes. Just put on the shoes, brother.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you. Yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's really. Yeah, it was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who are we kidding here?

[Caleb Hearon]

Who are we kidding? I was so into student council. I was so into school spirit.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's another one of my long standing theories that parades aren't as good since gay guys have been able to come out of the closet.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The 4th of July parades in the 40s. Are you kidding me? The 50s.

[Caleb Hearon]

My God. The.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's all those guys had.

[Caleb Hearon]

I do think gay being illegal again would really. I would come more than ever.

[Stavros Halkias]

You would?

[Caleb Hearon]

I would come harder than I've ever come.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would have to guess the sex would be much hotter.

[Caleb Hearon]

Sex was crazy. Who was I talking to?

[Stavros Halkias]

You're a freedom fighter. Every time you fuck a guy.

[Caleb Hearon]

There was.

[Stavros Halkias]

That must feel cool.

[Caleb Hearon]

There was some. Yeah, it's revolutionary. It's literally red. Every time I suck some guy off, it's red. Dawn.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's the war for independence. If a guy blows me in the park. That's literally like the Boston Tea Party. I can't remember who told me this, but some older gay guy told a friend of mine who relayed it to me. He said my favorite thing to do back when, you know, when being like the 70s and 80s, when being gay was still so taboo, they would do park cruising.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

He said it was called a. It was called a. Like a strawberry sundae or something. And I. And. And I was like, what's that? And he was like, oh, that's where you would suck a straight guy off in the park. And then as soon he came, he would punch you.

[Stavros Halkias]

What the fuck?

[Caleb Hearon]

He was so mad at you for being gay.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was his favorite nosebleed.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I was like, oh.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you know what?

[Caleb Hearon]

I understood it. I understood it. I was like, the danger of like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is it going to be one punch?

[Caleb Hearon]

Is he going to kill me?

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Caleb Hearon]

I mean, of course I don't want that, actually.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Caleb Hearon]

But when this older gay guy says this, I go, I do know what you were tapping into.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Caleb Hearon]

I don't like it for me, I don't want it to be actually happening.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it is dangerous. And it's good that it's like not happening.

[Caleb Hearon]

Shouldn't be happening. But I do think we could that. So that's the extreme version that I.

[Stavros Halkias]

Older roller coasters without safety precautions. They went faster. Yeah. Now, did a couple kids die every summer? Yes, they did. And that's bad.

[Caleb Hearon]

But did we lose some of our finest young men at Schlitterbahn?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, we did. Because he had to do the Loop de Loop.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

But guess what? It was a lot of fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

For the guys who made it off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The guys who made it off had a blast.

[Caleb Hearon]

If you walked out of Switterbaughn, you had memories for a lifetime. Some kids left in a body bag. That's horrible. That's horrible.

[Stavros Halkias]

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[Caleb Hearon]

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[Stavros Halkias]

So was it just like school politics or school spirit or were you like also like were you like a very opinionated, just political, like you know, religious stuff? Like what was. Were you rebelling against where you were from even as like a. That little intense.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was starting to. I was figuring it out. Like I, I definitely remember. Like I definitely was really. When Obama ran, I was. I remember crying watching him win. Like, I'm so excited because I knew everyone were like most people were out.

[Stavros Halkias]

How old were you? Like 14.

[Caleb Hearon]

Obama ran. This would have been 2008. So I was. Yeah. 13.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I was watching. I remember we lived in a trailer at the time and I was sitting in the trailer. We had this small little TV and I was watching it in on the trailer tv. My mom was either at work or already in bed and I was just like, oh man, everyone around here hates this. And I love it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I love it.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was like so excited.

[Stavros Halkias]

And no, that wasn't that. That time was fucking. That was thinking Obama's in the mix. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

That was huge.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's the trailer layout like? You got your own bed.

[Caleb Hearon]

I did. Yeah. The trailer was. It was a two room. It was like right on the highway.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nice pull.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right on, baby.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right on.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right one end was my mom's room. Okay with and she had like an ensuite like bathroom and stuff down there. Then there's a little kitchen on the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Call it a suite by the way. It's awesome. What do you say to use French French prefixes in the trailer is like. That is the. That is the most quintessential gay and from Missouri thing I've ever heard in my life.

[Caleb Hearon]

And guess what?

[Stavros Halkias]

My mother had an ensuite bathroom.

[Caleb Hearon]

Until you've lived like I've lived until you've known the luxury of a double wide with an ensuite until you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

You dropped the T even on the second time.

[Caleb Hearon]

She did have a jet tub in there, baby.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nice.

[Caleb Hearon]

Double wides. Hey, double wide.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Then there's a living room. Then there's another bathroom and then there's my room.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Nice.

[Caleb Hearon]

I have my own little wing of the house.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is nice.

[Caleb Hearon]

It was sweet. Now the house was on wheels.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

So that's scary.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

But especially in tornado country.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Caleb Hearon]

But we had a good time over there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did it ever get twistered up?

[Caleb Hearon]

No, no. I did. I did drive through a tornado once. O. I had to break into a church.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nice. For shelter.

[Caleb Hearon]

I did. Really? I had to break down the door of a church and, like, hide in a closet.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really? They didn't lay in.

[Caleb Hearon]

There was. No one was there. It was. I was on the highway and the. There were trees falling down around my car.

[Stavros Halkias]

Holy.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I literally had, like run through the wind in the rain. Break down a church for getting the closet. I managed to get a call out. I called my mom and I was like, hey, it is what it is. I was like, this might be the last one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Holy.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, it was wild.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn, dude.

[Caleb Hearon]

You know what? My dad came and got me afterwards. So what happened was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was visiting my dad and my aunt in their town, which is like a 50 minute drive from where my mom lived at the time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

And this is my freshman sophomore year of college, talking to a friend on the phone on the drive home. Perfectly beautiful day. Lovely. I'm like talking on the phone drive, and immediately sky goes black and the storm starts. And I was like, that's bad. Like when it goes like that fast. And I was like. And so it started. Tornado happened. And I called my mom and was like, hey, I'm in the middle of a tornado. It sounds really bad. I don't know what's happening. Then we lost signal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, my God.

[Caleb Hearon]

And then it ended. I thought, but you know, the eye of the storm is quiet storm. So I was like, I don't know if I'm in the eye or if it's over. So I stayed for a while. And she had sent my dad to come get me. She had, like, sent him my location. So my dad came and got me. And my dad's a lifelong atheist. Intense, like, intense atheist.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Caleb Hearon]

Hated. When I got into church, I remember vividly telling my. My dad and my grandma out of Thanksgiving that I've started going to youth group and I think I want to get saved. Oh, my grandma weeped with excitement. And when I asked my dad if he was excited, he was like, we'll talk about it. When you're older.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was like, okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

He kind of, he had a hunch.

[Caleb Hearon]

He was not into it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. But I mean, I mean, he's right.

[Caleb Hearon]

That was awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

He was awesome for that. He would literally, like slyly, when I was in the house, like, turn up volume on a Ricky Gervais. That's so special and be like, what do you think? You know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Which is not the way to win over.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know, but. I know. It's so funny though, cuz it's like I feel like we had similar paths where it's like you must have been. Cuz I was definitely, you know, freshman year of college on that militant atheist, Richard Dawkins, Ricky Gervais, Bill Maher, like that it is lame the long. The older you get. But when you're 14 to 19 and you're like, oh, you guys still believe in God? Smoking, like, you know, pretending to enjoy. Enjoy cigarettes that you're smoking and being like childish thoughts when you're 21 and.

[Caleb Hearon]

A bit of a douchebag like I was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Militant atheism hits like crap.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's awesome.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

Because you look down on everybody. You.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. It's the same exact feeling that religious people get.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're just one of them.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's. I remember my favorite. I would share it like once a week. My favorite picture to share was like a picture of a bunch of famous atheists, like all their headshots. And then the, the like text over it was like, if atheists go to hell, I. I'm not worried. I'm in good company.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I loved, I loved especially if.

[Caleb Hearon]

Like one of my friends would post a Bible verse. I love the next hour. I'd load that baby up and throw it on my Facebook feed and be like, wonder what they think of this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

But my dad picked me up from the tornado and drove me or left my car out there and he drove me back to his house. House. And on the drive, we're driving and it's like quiet for a little bit. And then my dad just goes, so when you thought you were going to die, did what you. Did you like think that maybe God. Did you like pray to God or think God might be real? And he was asking in a way that was like, he really wanted to know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Caleb Hearon]

If I like discovered something that's fascinating. Oh, it was I. And I in the moment, I was like, whoa. Because I did pray. I did pray.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, always when shit's going.

[Caleb Hearon]

If you think you're about to die, you got to throw out a Hail Mary.

[Stavros Halkias]

God. I was kid. Remember that thing about forgiveness you show about.

[Caleb Hearon]

They say it works.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Christians are like, if you do it in the last minute. So anytime you think there's a close.

[Stavros Halkias]

Call, I'm just like, you might as well.

[Caleb Hearon]

My bad, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, it's like, order a side of fries for the table, even. It's good to have them there.

[Caleb Hearon]

Throw out a prayer when the plane's shaking a little too hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. It's not. Not gonna hurt, Right.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah. If the. If the. If the overhead bins start opening on the plane, you just like to throw a prayer out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I absolutely. I was like, I did pray, but I. I don't think I believe in God because at this point, I was an atheist as well. And. And I don't even know if I am now, but at the time, I was feeling that way, and my dad was, like, interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

He was just collecting data.

[Caleb Hearon]

Oh. He was fascinated.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interest. He didn't even. He didn't. He wasn't. He wasn't trying to steer you. He just legitimately wanted to know if in your dark. In the fox, like the old. In the foxhole, there's no atheist.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

If that affected you.

[Caleb Hearon]

That's what he wanted to know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

He was a curious guy, and I thought it was so interesting and. And fascinating that. That he, like, was so intrigued. Intrigued.

[Stavros Halkias]

So your dad used his lifelong atheist. Your uncle on his side of the family is like, kind of the, you know, hippie, zen guy. Like, was your family kind of already not. You know, were they sort of rebellious for where you grew up? Like, were they. Were you. Was your family, like the weird family of the Zone? Or were there other people like that? Did they, like. You know what I'm saying?

[Caleb Hearon]

Definitely. Outliers.

[Stavros Halkias]

Outliers.

[Caleb Hearon]

I think like my grandma on my. My grandma Lillian on my dad's side side. All her kids turned out to be, like, pretty. Like my dad, my Aunt Ashley, my Uncle Travis. They all turned out to be independent thinkers and, like, pretty left. And, like. Yeah, pretty left. And my mom's side is. Is much more traditional.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gotcha. Gotcha.

[Caleb Hearon]

But no, no, really. No one in my immediate family like, the people I really love and care about. None of them are, like, intense anything.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Caleb Hearon]

This is my theory about the country, though, by the way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hit me.

[Caleb Hearon]

My theory about the country of the United States of America is most people are like my family, which is maybe they vote Republican, maybe they vote Democrat. Hard to tell. Every election is kind of different. I would say every election. Most people in my family are like, we'll see when it gets closer. And by the way, none. They. We don't really talk about politics. And most of them just don't care.

[Stavros Halkias]

They don't care that much.

[Caleb Hearon]

Life is hard. The bills come every month.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

They need to pay the bills. They're worried about raising their kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And they just don't sit around and talk about, like, what's going on in Washington, D.C. right. And I think that's most of the country.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you do anything to make their life. Life a little better, they will vote for you for like a generation.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And no one has.

[Caleb Hearon]

And they're not talking. They're not going up to their neighbor and being like, you have to vote for this guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Caleb Hearon]

There are those people out there. But I think by and large those people on. On both sides are outnumbered by the vast majority of Americans who are just like, man, I wish life was easy. And I have to still have to go to work tomorrow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And they're just chilling.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Just chilling. Maybe being. Fixing up a motorcycle.

[Caleb Hearon]

Maybe fixing up a motorcycle, maybe. Yeah. But no, that my. My, My. My dad's side of the family is all pretty bike left.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cool.

[Caleb Hearon]

I would say.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting. And. And did your dad have. You had. Do you have a. Your dad didn't have any other kids, did he? Your mom did, or I.

[Caleb Hearon]

My mom. My mom did. My dad did not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you grow up with your. Was your brother around? Were you guys, like hanging around all the time?

[Caleb Hearon]

My brother was around, but my brother from a very early age was like my brother when he turned like 12, but just became like a criminal. Hell yeah. He turned 12 and like immediately started doing crime. Like he's like stealing bikes and like smoking weed and. And we were very at odds.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caleb Hearon]

Cuz I was a good. I definitely watched him make life hard for my mom. And then I felt like I had to be a good kid, so I resented him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I think I still kind of do in some ways. It's complicated.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. Of course.

[Caleb Hearon]

But yeah, I. I resented him because he made life harder. She already had a hard life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Raising two kids by herself and working multiple jobs. She going through it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

You know, and then he's like survivor on her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Reba Sh.

[Caleb Hearon]

A single mom who works two jobs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Mom very Reba.

[Caleb Hearon]

Very Reba.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And yeah, I just resented him. I was like, why are you making this worse?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Why are you such a up?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I I hated it.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was so used to him.

[Stavros Halkias]

And especially at that age where it's like, it doesn't take much to have a rivalry with a sibling.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But when they're actually being a piece of. Yeah, that's, you know, also I just.

[Caleb Hearon]

I. Very low tolerance for fuckups. It's not. What do you. It's not. This is not hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Maybe he just wouldn't go to school for a week. It's like, go to school.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gotcha.

[Caleb Hearon]

Just get up and go to school. Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's. She's got her going on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Caleb Hearon]

So I had to like take care of him, you know, I had to like wake us up for the boss as little brother. You're the older brother. You're supposed to be doing this. I really. Yeah, we, we. It was really tough for us. I resented. I resented his ups. Do you think?

[Stavros Halkias]

Because you're also. What I really admire about you is that you just have a good time. You don't feel the pressure to like, just do a. Like you won't overwork yourself. Like, you won't like. You were. We were talking when. On your podcast. We were talking about how I was in England working. I was working on something and you were just taking a jaunt across Europe.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were just there for fun for like two months or some.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I was like, that's awesome. You're my only friend. And I was just trying to see if any of my friends were in London, like just to hang. And you just were there. And do you think that's kind of like a. Because you saw how hard your mom's life was and she had no choice but to constantly be working. You think it's a little bit of like, you know, you're sort of overcorrecting the other way and being like, I'm the. My life is going to be the chillest life of all time. Cuz my mom had five jobs and one of her sons. Hot wiring dirt bikes at age 14.

[Caleb Hearon]

Stealing three wheelers. Totally, dude. I mean, I think it's a. I think it's a reaction to that. I think it's also. I think it's a reaction to how hard my mom had to work. I think it's also. I'm. I'm true. I don't view privilege as a bad word. I have a very. It's a privileged life that I get to like be a comedian. And I did work very hard for it, but I'm trying to take full advantage. I don't want to like I don't want to turn this into, like, coal mining part two, where I, like, book up every second of my day and freak out and stress out and, like, run here and there. Like, there is some element of that, but, like, I want to take advantage of the privilege of, like, you can off for a month in this. In this life if you plan it right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Caleb Hearon]

And then there's the other thing of, like, I think I did spend the whole first, like, 22 years of my life stressing every second.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And now I feel like I'm like, no, not no more.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Caleb Hearon]

We did it. We said it up.

[Stavros Halkias]

We did. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm not poor in Missouri.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I'm not in the trailer, and there's.

[Caleb Hearon]

Nothing wrong with being poor in Missouri, but I. I did not want to.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's stressful, though. Poverty's.

[Caleb Hearon]

When you.

[Stavros Halkias]

When you fig. I remember figuring out my family was poor and being like, what the.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Being, like, pissed.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, I've been poor this whole time. It literally, like, my shout out, you know? I mean, we were in Baltimore, and, like, we knew there were other families that. That were doing better than us. But I. I. The moment I realized and shout out to my mom, because it took me until, like, it was literally when I was in high school.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Filling out fafsa, and she was like. And I. And I would always do paperwork for my family because, you know, the language barrier, whatever. And I was always, you know, ever Since I was 11, I was filling out forms with my family and stuff, and I was doing FAFSA until I got too lazy. And then my mom was like, I'll just figure it out. But when it came to, like, FAFSA was the way I would leave the house. So I was back in. I was like, all right, let's do this. Right. Right? And I was like, hey, mom, they. They want to know what our total net worth is. And she was like, zero. And I was like, greek idiot doesn't know what net worth means. No, the money we have. She was like. She was like, yeah. She was like, including debt, like, what we have minus our debt. And I was like, yeah. She was like, well, then, yeah, it's zero because it's actually negative. And I was like, what the. I was like, I mean, I knew we weren't rich, but I was like, we've been fucking poor. And then it, like. It's like a Kaiser Soze moment where you're like, oh, every. You know. Yeah, you see? You see, like, every place. You never got Clothes you wanted.

[Caleb Hearon]

Everything was flashbacks of your mom picking up one type of bread, putting it back, picking up a different one.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, oh my God. This whole time you get our cereal next to the. It's like bags of cereal next to bags of dog food.

[Caleb Hearon]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, it's the same packaging. Unless you. You gotta be really careful not to put. What were your. What were some fun, you know, as a fellow little. Little chubster in poverty. What were your favorite poverty meals? Dude, let's get.

[Caleb Hearon]

You know what immediately comes to mind?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

This is so white trash. And I say that in a loving way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh.

[Caleb Hearon]

I mean our special meal. My favorite meal that I like begged for was chopped up hot dogs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hell yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Like stir fried in brown sugar.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh my God.

[Caleb Hearon]

Like caramelized in brown sugar.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then reduction caramel hot dogs in a caramel reduction sauce.

[Caleb Hearon]

Little pieces of cut up bacon. Oh, double O put into baked beans.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, no.

[Caleb Hearon]

We called it Beanie Weenies.

[Stavros Halkias]

Beanie Weenies.

[Caleb Hearon]

I loved it. I could, I literally on my birthday would be like, can we have beanie.

[Stavros Halkias]

Weenie on your birthday?

[Caleb Hearon]

And my mom would be like, we can, but only today.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Like, I loved Beanie weenies.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Caleb Hearon]

It was awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

The doubling down on the sugar sure is awesome.

[Caleb Hearon]

Don't eat it. Yeah. Or when my mom, my mom worked at a bar for several years and they had really good chicken wings. And I would like call down to the bar at like 9pm and be like, can I talk to Kelly? And they'd be like, yeah. And so it's this loud, raucous bar and I'd be like, bring home chicken wings.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

Be like, okay, honey.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

She bring me home a box of chicken. Chicken wings.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love that.

[Caleb Hearon]

I felt like, I literally felt like royalty.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I was like, my mom works at the chicken wing place. Yes, she brings me chicken wings.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's. My mom was a wage at a Greek restaurant. The calamari that came. The leftover calamari. And then when they didn't have. Because it wasn't. It wasn't. I always had those. Wasn't guaranteed when the calamari wasn't there a day. I was banking on it. Tough being fat. A fat nine year old and being like staying up to like midnight and be like, hey, mom. Pretending I was happy to see my mom. I just wanted calamari.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it was. I would just have a tantrum and have to go up stairs pissed off. One of horrible Saturdays, you thought you.

[Caleb Hearon]

Were going to go to bed with a tummy full of calamari.

[Stavros Halkias]

Tummy full of calamari. Got nothing.

[Caleb Hearon]

Didn't happen, dude. My mom worked for a while at a bowling alley. She was like a bartender at a bowling alley.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, that's so good.

[Caleb Hearon]

That's some good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And so to this day, when someone. I can't get this after.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's okay, man.

[Caleb Hearon]

No, it's. I'm. I'm getting it back on. Watch this.

[Stavros Halkias]

I believe in you.

[Caleb Hearon]

So to this day when I smell someone that smells like stale beer and cigarettes. Cuz she would come home from that job. My. Either at that point we were old enough to put ourselves to bed or we had a babysitter. My mom would come home from that job and like come give me like a hug and a kiss, you know, like while I was in bed. And she smelled so much like cigarettes and stale beer and also deep fried.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nacho cheese and deep fryer.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, just like deep fryer green grease and like beer and, and cigarettes. And I, when I smell that smell, to this day I, I literally feel, I go, yeah, dude, it feels so comfy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh man, that's what your husband's gonna smell like.

[Caleb Hearon]

He's gonna need to, he's gonna need to smell like that.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so. Yeah. You've got a Pavlovian response to that.

[Caleb Hearon]

I hooked up with a guy last night who told me his ex boyfriend is a huge fan of mine.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Caleb Hearon]

And he said it in a way that made me think, is that what we're doing here?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, well.

[Caleb Hearon]

And you know what? I was like, donkey care, dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you don't, if you don't think I've gotten a couple revenge. A couple revenge blowies because, because some guy, some dumb podcast fan mistreated a woman and she was like, h. I bet if I send this guy a picture of my tits, he'd let me suck him off. And you know what? 90% of the time they are correct.

[Caleb Hearon]

They are right about that.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's welcome because I feel like that is more of a, A straight comedians. We get that. That's more of what I. The spoils that I get. I like that it's coming to you.

[Caleb Hearon]

Something's shifted because, you know, when I first started, when comedy first started going well for me, I would talk to the few older gay comedians that there are.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

That have had anything go for them and, and they would, they would say things to me like, man, it's not the same for us on the road.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Just don't expect it. And I'm like, something has shifted the cultures. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think more gay, I think more gay people do r into, like, more mainstream standup. Not in the way that, like, I feel like, like you said, it used to be like, you got to. There you get, you got to have three, like, queer famous comedians. And now it's like. And that's. Everything was kind of a little more segmented, I think. And now I just feel like way more, it's way more in the culture. And I think you get to be, you know, so it's, it's just out there more. And I'm happy for you.

[Caleb Hearon]

Who's your favorite case stand up. Oh, can't say me. Nice try, Stavy. Can't say me.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was definitely going to say you. That's a great question. Who would be my favorite gay stand up?

[Caleb Hearon]

You can think of one. This is sick.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is pretty.

[Caleb Hearon]

You can't think of a single gay person who does stand up comedy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caleb Hearon]

Boo him, King.

[Stavros Halkias]

I loved, I mean, I loved Margaret Cho's show when I was a kid, and I loved her. The episode of Dr. Cats that she was on. Yeah, I did. I didn't, you know, I guess I liked more like gay comedians in general, but I can't really think of, like, a standup that really, that was like one of my top, top standups. And then obviously there's, like, contemporaries, but I don't, I feel like this is more of a question of like, who did you look up to?

[Caleb Hearon]

That's what you read from it?

[Stavros Halkias]

It is, actually.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm just interviewing. I'm just asking my questions.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, it's my show.

[Caleb Hearon]

What's my show? I don't have to answer your dumb little question.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know. That's interesting. Who's your favorite? I got him. Elders, who's your favorite straight comedian?

[Caleb Hearon]

Can't say you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can't say me.

[Caleb Hearon]

Okay. My favorite straight comedian. You know what? A lot of them. Yeah, a lot of them I like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm gonna go with a sleeper pick. I'm going Kathleen Madigan.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Caleb Hearon]

Kathleen Madigan is a killer.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good one.

[Caleb Hearon]

I love her. I loved, I watched one of her, like, maybe Comedy Central, half hours or something when I was a kid and I found out she was from Missouri. That was really cool. I was like, she's from Missouri. That's awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I, I, she's great. She's great. And she won't follow me. Back. Shoot. Kathleen. No worries, honey. I love you. She won't. I've messaged her to be on my podcast.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. Which I don't do nothing.

[Caleb Hearon]

And she will not read it.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's. Oh, wow.

[Caleb Hearon]

And she will not respond.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not even seen.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I guess what I have for her the utmost respect.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't.

[Caleb Hearon]

Don't slum it with a young gay comedian. You stay where you are. Hold. Hey. Yeah. You dropped this queen. Her crown.

[Stavros Halkias]

Her crown.

[Caleb Hearon]

I love her. I. I hope she never messages me back. I hope she never follows.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm really proud of her.

[Stavros Halkias]

You want that? You want that relationship.

[Caleb Hearon]

I think it's nice. Me, I saw her in an airport once after I had messaged her and thinking she's probably seen this or someone on her team has seen this and not responded. And I did not approach her in the airport. I said, you enjoy that beer.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not even a. Not even a big fan. Kept it moving.

[Caleb Hearon]

No, because she. I'm. She might not want that. And by the way, she was on the same flight as me that day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Caleb Hearon]

And. And we. We walked right past each other and I didn't say a word. Shout out, Kathleen.

[Stavros Halkias]

A lot of restraint.

[Caleb Hearon]

I. Hey. 1.

[Stavros Halkias]

I bet you could have charmed her in person.

[Caleb Hearon]

I think I could have.

[Stavros Halkias]

I really do think so.

[Caleb Hearon]

But I chose not. You know, that's the power that you have to choose when to turn it on and turn it off. And I. I choose to wield it for.

[Stavros Halkias]

For good folks. You might not know this about me, but I recently, about a year ago, got a place in Baltimore, my hometown, in addition to my apartment. Apartment here in New York City. I've been living back and forth between the two. And when I got my place in Baltimore and I needed a bed quick, that looked good, that was comfortable, that was sturdy, because, you know, I'm a plus size boy. That was easy to install. You know what? I chose the Thuma Classic bed. That's fully 100% true. Before they were a sponsor, I did all my research and I picked Thuma because I love the way it looked. Like I said, it was incredibly sturdy. Dirty. They have. It was so easy to make sometimes, you know, you got all these weird slats. You got a. You know, I'm not a very handy guy. I don't want to get the screwdriver out. They have this incredible the. They use the technique of Japanese joinery. It's crafted from solid wood and precision cut for a silent, stable foundation. It literally takes like five minutes, no tools. It's Eco friendly natural material. Four neutral finishes to match any design aesthetic. Aesthetic. I love the look. You're going to love it too. And I want you be like me. Sleep on a bed that I sleep on. Do some other stuff on a bed that I do some other stuff on. To explore Thuma's entire collection, visit www.thuma.co or the flagship location in New York City. Pieces ship quickly and arrive straight to your door. To get $100 towards your first bed purchase, go to Thuma Co. That's t h U M A CO to receive $100 off your first bed purchase. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Not for personal gain. When do you think you're going to settle down? All this talk about any day now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dms you think I'd like to.

[Caleb Hearon]

I see you as a family man.

[Stavros Halkias]

I do want to. I. I think I. It's so funny. Like, for the first time in my life, I was like, yeah, it would be nice to just be in a good rel. Like, I realized the value of it instead of being. Being like scared of up a relationship, I was like, I've been working so much. It would be nice for you. Like, I am. I envisioned coming home to like a loving environment instead of like, yeah, just an apartment and like, you know, watching a movie. And I was like, whoa. And it was the first pure time that I was like, I'm not worried about a relationship. I'm like, this would be good.

[Caleb Hearon]

Straight guys are so funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's so funny that you're 35 and for the first time in your life, you're like, the love of a woman could be special.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because I never. Because I never thought. Because, okay, yeah, this really. It is hilarious. And it is pathetic.

[Caleb Hearon]

But not say pathetic.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is. No, it is. But I do think it's because I recently had the realization that marriages could be good. You know what I mean? Like, when you grow up, like, I envy people who came from fucked up circumstances and still believe in love.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, I love that you're a. You seek love and you know, in the fucking double wide with your pops. With your pops a mile away, just not meaning, not hanging out, like in the same zip code.

[Caleb Hearon]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're like, not too much, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And. And like, to me, my. My family was such a. Like my parents relationship was so up and everybody that I knew, even though they were married, they were miserable and that or. And in fact the only like people that were happy were kind of like the divorced one ones.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so it really took a while. Like just in my head when I thought of relationships and marriage, it just always was something bad and just like something people just were obligated to do.

[Caleb Hearon]

Don't you feel then that you could only do better than that?

[Stavros Halkias]

I, it never, that never occurred to me until recently.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Until I was like, wait, I'm doing better in so many other ways. Why can't I master that too? And I also have my own things of like in all my like relationships, like I just have that knee jerk reaction to like get out and feel, I feel smothered and I feel like I'm gonna disappoint this person. So let me get out of it ahead of time. And so, but recently I was like, yeah, what if, let's just say I figured that out. Wouldn't it be nice?

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

If a woman loved me and my, like she, I come back and we get dinner and like see a movie. And instead of like this, doing this by myself, it was with the person I plan to share the rest of my life with. And so it's, it's, it's switched for me. But at the same time.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I am still an immature. Right. And my, you know, but so I'm hoping, I'm hopeful I've switched from probably not going to happen to let's see what happens.

[Caleb Hearon]

Wouldn't it be nice, wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up?

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah. I, I, you know, I think it was unfair though that I said straight guys are so funny because it, it is guys and general.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Gay guys do also struggle with the commitment thing. I mean gay guys, it feels, I don't know if it feels more advanced. It certainly feels a little different that gay guys will just get into a beautiful long term relationship and then still everyone else.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Together and separately. Well, I don't know if that's progress or not.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's great. I also love, I don't want to butcher the point because I was talking, I was just on stradio lab and I was talking to George.

[Caleb Hearon]

I love those guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're the best. I mean, but, but yeah, George is talking about how like cheating just is not even a concept for gay guys.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, it's just like, like gay guys will just be a marriage so long and they'll just basically just be kind of rude after like 20 years. They just, instead of just being like this isn't working, they're just kind of like roommates who then just go on and just date other people. And it just Becomes this weird. It's just such a fascinating way to go about things. But I respect it. But it also also doesn't feel like the answer to what we're talking about here of like a nice loving.

[Caleb Hearon]

It also doesn't feel like what we sold the American people when, when we, when we passed Obergef.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really fooled one on. Yeah, yeah. We, we're just like everybody else.

[Caleb Hearon]

We just want.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, you know, we just want to.

[Caleb Hearon]

Be in our house and have our children and raise our.

[Stavros Halkias]

I want to put a sweater on with my husband.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, we, we weren't telling folks about circuit parties. We did a little pulling of the wool and God bless. But it's not the story we told.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's true. That is true. But yeah, I, it's interest. I also feel the same thing for you too, cuz I do feel like you are, are. You're trying to settle down a little bit here, isn't it? Don't you feel like you're.

[Caleb Hearon]

I am trying. You're trying, but I'm not. I, I'm.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're up against the wall that you're trying also to settle down with a man.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm trying to settle down with a man. We're both men then. That's tough, you know? Not good. Yeah, no, it's. I, I, I, I don't know, man. I'm like, I do want it. I want a family, I want kids. I want to settle down with someone. I do have long now thought that it would be lovely to come home to someone who loves me and like, build a home together. I think that'd be beautiful and lovely. Yeah, I love that. I love the couples in my life that I think there's so many beautiful couples in my life who work so well together. I think my friends Kevin and Katie, like, they have a beautiful love.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm rooting to get. I don't think they're gonna make it.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah. You don't think so?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, just from what I've seen.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah. Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know them. Don't know them at all. I don't know them at all.

[Caleb Hearon]

Think about my friends. My friends Tom and Nancy. I just think about these people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Either they're not gonna happen for them.

[Caleb Hearon]

They have beautiful relationships. They do their own thing. They still have their own friends, but they come together. It's lovely. And I do want that, but I do. I, I just, I have not found the person.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I, But I'm starting to wonder, am I, am I the problem?

[Stavros Halkias]

Because I do probably.

[Caleb Hearon]

It gets To a shirt.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, almost certainly.

[Caleb Hearon]

It gets to a certain point and I, I lose interest. I think they can't be the one. I'm like, maybe I do just need to find like a roommate version.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, don't do that.

[Caleb Hearon]

Maybe I need to go terms. I am.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're romantic in your little heart.

[Caleb Hearon]

I am romantic. But you know what? I need to cool it on the romance because here's what I. Here's something I've noticed recently.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caleb Hearon]

I am a romantic. I like to.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'll.

[Caleb Hearon]

I call people when I'm dating someone. I call them on the phone, talk chitchat, Love that. I'll send flowers sometimes.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's cute.

[Caleb Hearon]

I like to stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's wrong with that?

[Caleb Hearon]

Well, I do it and then it gives the impression that I'm trying to get into something serious. And I am trying that, but I think I sometimes do it too quick and then people, and then people go, I, like, enjoy it.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's pure. But that's. Yeah, you're saying, well, I do these things. I'm sending these clear messages. Messages and people are reacting to them.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying I'm like, I need to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Slow it down a little bit short.

[Caleb Hearon]

Cuz I'm sending the, like, let's lock it down. They're picking it up and enjoying it. And then I'm being like, whoa.

[Stavros Halkias]

I do this, to be fair. I'm on you, but I do the straight male version of that, which is just being nice to a woman.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, like it doesn't really take much romance for a woman to think you're a good person compared to how everybody else.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Treats them. So it's like if I'm dating somebody, I'm just like kind of communicative and like ask questions and like, remember things they said. They're like, whoa, he's in love with me.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? But. But I do want to actually fucking. Yeah, maybe you need to just wait a little bit. But you're there.

[Caleb Hearon]

I think I need.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think you can do it. I love. You know, romance is beautiful. And you know where you can see a lot of romances in the romantic comedy Sweethearts, folks, out on out on out on Max in just a couple days. And so please check that. That out. And in the meantime, I think we need to take some of your, your folksy down home wisdom and bring it to our callers here.

[Caleb Hearon]

That was like watching Babe Ruth point and then hit a home run. That was so beautiful.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thanks.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm in awe of you. Thanks, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm a. I'm a. What can I say? I'm a pro. Let's do it. We. We just talk so long because it's so fun to just chat with you, but we got. We got to help some people here.

[Caleb Hearon]

Come on.

[Stavros Halkias]

This feels great, by the way. The turkey. I feel kind of cozy and awesome. Yeah. I'm like, comfortable. Like, I find myself just enjoying the conversation and forgetting we have to be entertaining for people. I'm like, that's awesome, dude. And I really hope you find love, my good friend. And then I'm like, oh, right.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm a turkey.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I'm like, dozing off in this swarm. Little fucking.

[Caleb Hearon]

Dude, you're a romantic, and love is coming for you, and you're gonna have everything you want in this life, and I think you just keep after it. I'm a turkey.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right.

[Caleb Hearon]

Our callers want to know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Let's see what disgusting questions you have for us. Eldest.

[Caller 1]

Hey, Savi. So basically, I'm 31. I have a five year old daughter. I am a widow. I tried to date about a year and a half ago, and I was like, dating around the guy that I was. One of my close friends started behind my back and I found out about it. We had talked for a while while we reconciled, and then she got into this long term engagement or long term relationship. I ended up helping him with the proposal. The ideas for the ring.

[Caleb Hearon]

No.

[Caller 1]

I got close with his family.

[Caleb Hearon]

What.

[Caller 1]

You know, and all this kind of stuff. And then at his parents, vow renewal. She asked me if I would be director of their wedding.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, my God. What the.

[Caleb Hearon]

Why were you at the parents Is going on here?

[Stavros Halkias]

This is insane. Keep going. All this.

[Caleb Hearon]

I mean, what.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, Jesus.

[Caller 1]

They're wedding. And I've been having such a hard time because she's getting the life that I thought I was gonna have.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

And I'm trying to be forgiving and I'm trying to be these things, but how do you move past somebody being a hoe and the guy that she blatantly knows that you're.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't. Maybe I.

[Caller 1]

You know, I was. It took me a long time to get into the scene, into the dating scene. I lost 60 pounds. I went to therapy. I did all this. All this work. And it feels like for not. So if you can help me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Kind of figure that out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, my God.

[Caller 1]

So great.

[Caleb Hearon]

Thank you.

[Caller 1]

You're the best.

[Caleb Hearon]

Can I just say, before we get into it, the opening of so basically I'm 31. I have a five year old, I am a widow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I'm hooked beautifully.

[Caleb Hearon]

That is a beautiful intro.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. And take note, other callers.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This woman got to the meat of. She could have rambled. Other people ramble about how, like, it takes them too long to find the video to jack off to.

[Caleb Hearon]

They'll.

[Stavros Halkias]

They'll do three minutes. She's given us her whole backstory and three beautiful Hemingway like sentences.

[Caleb Hearon]

She's not going to get wrapped up in how the ex died.

[Stavros Halkias]

No.

[Caleb Hearon]

And the combine accident.

[Stavros Halkias]

It doesn't matter when we. And our, and our imagination is working.

[Caleb Hearon]

I am a widow.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's Darth Vader before the prequels. A little mystery.

[Caleb Hearon]

So basically I'm 31.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep.

[Caleb Hearon]

I have a 5 year old child and I am a widow.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is beautiful.

[Caleb Hearon]

That's beautiful.

[Stavros Halkias]

Beautifully written. And we're sorry, by the way, that you're in that circumstance. We wish he was alive. But, but you, you are a very compelling call. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

You're a hell of a storyteller.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you, you're. It's great you're working on yourself. Keep at it. I would say one of the clearest indications of. You've worked on a lot of stuff in therapy. I don't know that you worked on setting boundaries. Because this is crazy.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This you don't get over. Like, how do you get over somebody being a ho? Okay, getting over it is one thing. Helping her get fucking engaged with the guy. I mean, you're just too selfless of a person. Person. You're just too. Maybe your self esteem is a little low. Maybe you're down because of, you know, shit's been rough for you. But you got insanely mistreated by both of these people. How on earth do you end up close to his fam? The vow renewal is Baron's vow renewal. The guy who cheated on you with your friend. Why?

[Caleb Hearon]

Also, if you, if anyone out there listening, I know there's. There's probably tens if not twenties of people who listen to the show.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And if anyone out there is wondering, should I be the director of someone's wedding? And you're calling them in the next sentence a hoe. Hey, guess what? You're not meant to be part of the wedding. You should bow out. You should bow out.

[Stavros Halkias]

You probably shouldn't go if you and.

[Caleb Hearon]

The girl need to kill the guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're so right. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I mean, my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, this is crazy.

[Caleb Hearon]

How do you, how do you end up at the vow Renewal. How do you even end up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Why? Yeah, the glossing over.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which we lauded in the top. In the first three sentences.

[Caleb Hearon]

Beautiful specificity that was.

[Stavros Halkias]

But we need a little more details here.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is not something we can gloss over. How the.

[Caleb Hearon]

She wrote. She. She wrote the back into the story the way that newspapers write about police involved shootings.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

She was like, so one way or another a guy ends up dead.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, exactly. It's like I ended up. Yeah. I mean what the. Why aren't you mad? Why aren't you mad at this person? Why did you let it slide? Why are you mad at both of them? And then why on earth would you help them? Is enough like you would be well within your rights never to speak to this woman again, let alone plan her fucking engagement. And I think you really need to look inward about why you're doing this stuff. And just like you can't let people in your life that are going to treat you like this and you clearly have some kind of psychological. You're drawn to this, to being treated this way. Unfortunately it feels is like cuz otherwise why, why would the. Would you do this also to the.

[Caleb Hearon]

Woman who slept with the guy, is now getting married to him and asked you to be the director. Asked her to be the director of the wedding or whatever. Which. Whatever. I don't know if that's a title. What you need to make some other friends.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean she's a.

[Caleb Hearon]

You think?

[Stavros Halkias]

First of all, she's a super villain.

[Caleb Hearon]

She's a super villain.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's a piece of.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean I, I have a. My, my knee jerk reaction. Is this. The other woman is a horrible person who's getting. Weirdly getting off on this somehow or even just like if she's not then she has the lowest emotional intelligence of anyone that's ever existed and is so self centered and has no empathy for anybody. I mean this is crazy.

[Caleb Hearon]

I, Yeah, I.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is nuts.

[Caleb Hearon]

Honey, you got to get out.

[Stavros Halkias]

You got to get out. Don't plan for these. Have your own life. You're. You're, you're making progress. You got back in the scene. And look, we say it on the show all the time. The road to wins is littered with losses. You came out with a huge loss up top. This is not an easy one to get over. But you got to just take eat this L and move forward. This is not the guy. And by the way, this is not the kind of person. This is your friend. Close friend. This was never your friend. No, this is a piece of Imagine somebody, a good friend of yours gets a over a death to their significant other.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is a single. Is a. Is a single parent. It takes them, they go, they work on themselves, they work out, they go to therapy. They finally get in the head space to start dating and start dating a guy and then you them.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Imagine what a piece of you'd have to be to do that to somebody.

[Caleb Hearon]

Another piece of advice to the caller. I'm just looking at the Call came in at 1:53am get some sleep. Call came in at 1:53am on a Monday.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're right. You're right about that.

[Caleb Hearon]

I want to see you get some rest. You're not going to be able to fight these demons that are clearly sent from hell to disrupt your life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Caleb Hearon]

One no sleep.

[Stavros Halkias]

Beelzebub has his tail around your ankle right now and you need to shake it off.

[Caleb Hearon]

Okay. I'm learning now that they might be calling from. I don't know what that means for us on time codes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Still pretty late.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, still pretty late.

[Stavros Halkias]

Still pretty late. I would say it's west coast time.

[Caleb Hearon]

Also a very unexpected place for that to be happening.

[Eldis]

Probably too.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Dox this woman.

[Caleb Hearon]

I guess it is a small community over there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like 3,000 people.

[Caleb Hearon]

The one widow in that area is going to get lit up with dms.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I will also say that's also. You're even more of a cat. You're even more of a catch, I would say.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah. In the place you're calling from or I'm sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, the place you're calling from. Thank you. Actually now I appreciate you doing some hosting and I'm actually circling back and saying it's actually. It's actually a black mark on the entertainment industry that I couldn't think of a gay comedian and not on me.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just to kind of full circle. That's really disgusting how we treated queer voices that me, a guy that should know couldn't come up with one and still you'll notice hasn't.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's move forward.

[Caleb Hearon]

You pulled a lesbian from like the 90s.

[Stavros Halkias]

I liked her.

[Caleb Hearon]

You're like, I think I watched that show.

[Eldis]

She is like Ellen DeGeneres.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I should have.

[Stavros Halkias]

I should have been like, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Oh.

[Stavros Halkias]

Whoa. Oh, no. Caleb, you know what that is? You know what time it is? It's time to. Yup. Keep it twisted. That's right. Wow. Time to keep it twisted. Time for the keep it twice twisted. Twisted ass mother effing. Question of the week, Thanksgiving edition. Yep. We still haven't Named it. Just sit there quietly, Caleb. I'm gonna, you know, chime in. Only if you really feel necessary. Eldest, what do we have for the twisted ass mother effing Thanksgiving question of the week?

[Eldis]

We have some pretty effing twisted. And you know, maybe if we keep it twisted enough, some lucky guy out there is in for a nice holiday treat this year.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, let's see what we got.

[Caller 1]

Hi, Savvy. I love the podcast. I am calling in for some advice from a man's perspective.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's what I'm here for.

[Caller 1]

I am in a long term relationship, kind of. We're both kind of having fun with it and I am looking for a man. Effective.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sounds like you're keeping it pretty twisted. Keep it twisted. Sounds like that long term relationship kind of sounds pretty twisted. But hey, that's not the question, so. But I do like it, man. Might I suggest a nice way to spice things up is to maybe get together and have a couple refreshing, delicious, twisted teas. You know, I don't know if you know this, but they're brewed. Did you know this? They're brewed with real iced tea. Eldest.

[Eldis]

Well, I, I knew that, but I was shocked the first time I learned.

[Stavros Halkias]

5% alcohol by volume. What a refreshing, delicious beverage. Anyway, continue, elders.

[Caller 1]

Kind of having fun with it. And I am looking for a man's perspective on like pictures. I love sending them, he loves getting them, but I'm worried that I'm just sending the same old poses. So I'm wondering, from a man's perspective, do you guys like the boudoir photos or is that more for a woman's eye? What do you guys like? What's, what's gonna keep them guessing and kind of having fun with it? Yeah, let me know. Thanks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting. Well, first of all, couldn't be more for women. I mean, let's just, let's keep it a. We're not even keeping it twisted. We're keeping it a buck right now. You don't gotta pay. Pay some lady. Buy fancy lingerie. Now, I'm not saying that's bad. I'd like to receive one, but it's not, you know, you're talking about day in, day out keeping it twisted in a sexual manner. You know, for sexting, for keeping the things spicy. And I think, you know, you know, you're never going to be able to keep up with that demand with boudoir photos. You're going to hire a lady every time this guy wants to beat off. I think think, speaking for myself personally, I think you're. The idea to kind of mix things up is a good one, you know, may, you know, a little lingerie, a little changing, you know, changing different poses, changing even, like, out of a shirt, whatever. For me personally, and maybe this is different for you, all this, I like to feel like it's spontaneous. Like, to me, it's not about thinking of, like, switching it up in terms of, like, different outfits and stuff like that. Although I like a wig, you know, if you want to get a wig in the mix, a costume, something like that. But all that can be done at home. You don't have to shell out cash again if you want to for yourself. I wouldn't turn those down. I still look at them, but I think the fact that you love sending them the consistency, that's keeping it twisted in my mind. You got to keep it twisted. Keep it twisted. Exactly, exactly. And I like feeling like it's almost. It's almost. If we were together, we would be smashing right now. But since we're not, just show me those titties. You know what I'm saying? Like, let me look at those titties the way I would look at them. Just pull them out of your shirt. You know what I mean? Send them. Send them soft sometimes. You don't got to get the nips hard. You don't got to twist the nip and get it hard sometimes. Send me soft, nip. Switch up the poses, maybe, whatever. But, you know, I think the willingness and the enthusiasm is much more important. Maybe throw in, you know, a live photo where your titties are bouncing. Maybe a short video wouldn't hurt. Not long, couple seconds. I'm talking about. You know what I mean? You want to do a longer video, that's better, but boudoir, that's not really keeping it twisted.

[Eldis]

And enough, you know, I'm going to go the other direction on this one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Eldis]

I want to go ahead and encourage our caller to follow her instincts here. I think, like, I don't know if you're. If you're in, like, a longer relationship. I do like the idea of the novelty in it. It's almost like, oh, wow. Like, wow. I didn't know, you know, she had this production value in her. It's a fun little novelty. It's like, it could be sexy in its own right, even if it's not just straight up, like, you know, titties out. There's something. There's something to it that's like, okay, I like. I like where we're going here.

[Caleb Hearon]

It.

[Eldis]

Her going through all those stops will probably, like, you know, help her maybe get more into it or something. And I think that's a. A fun little thing for the guy that he'll appreciate and that'll like, you know, get him. Get him turned on and get him to keep it twisted. I also think of, like, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

It'S crazy when you twist this prick up. Keep it twisted.

[Eldis]

It's. You think of like family photos are doing like that classic sear style family photos. And like in front of those back JC Penny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Or JC Penny, whatever. Like, those are very annoying at the moment. You're like, why would I do something like, so stodgy and oldfashioned. But, you know, one day you and your man are going to be mind pa real old, keeping it twisted together.

[Stavros Halkias]

Twisted on the rocking chairs, drinking some.

[Eldis]

Twisted tea out of like a champion glass for a big anniversary.

[Stavros Halkias]

Splitting the game day pack. Maybe it's your anniversary. Your whole family's there. Everybody's enjoying their favorite flavor, be it raspberry, half and half, what have you.

[Eldis]

Yeah, but once the family leaves, you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Know, for that matter, once the family's.

[Eldis]

Gone, they're just you two and you're getting romantic. Romantic. You could pull those photos up and be like, hey, that was pretty cool. Yeah, you look pretty awesome in this.

[Stavros Halkias]

I will give you that. These have staying power. I'm not against them. Yeah, I just think we're talking about two separate things. Yeah, these are. This is not a. This is not in the same vein as sexting. It's a good thing to have and it would knock my socks off and I would probably beat off to them if the love of my life took some sexy pics. But I'm just saying, do. Do both. Keep it going. Keep it twisted. Keep pulling your titties out on selfie mode. But also get the boudoir photo. We're all about. The more titties we can get in a man's life, the better. High production value, low production value. That's the. Keep it. That's. That's what I call keeping it twisted. And so go for it, sister. Throw those titties out. Let your man see them all gussied up. And remember, folks, if you wanted delicious beverage fridge and you're out and about and you're going to pull your titties out, there's only. There's only one thing to do. Keep it twisted. Amen. Oh, Caleb, why didn't you say anything that whole time, man? You're being rude.

[Eldis]

All right, Whatever you want, Caleb.

[Stavros Halkias]

Twisted.

[Caleb Hearon]

What else we got in here? What's going on?

[Caller 1]

Hey Stu. And eldest, an esteemed guest, long time listener. I love everything you guys do. Thank you so much.

[Caleb Hearon]

Of course.

[Caller 1]

So I have a unique situation. My ex and I were together for 23 years. So we had a very like established relationship. Big family, did everything together. And a year ago we separated and we're co parenting now. And our lives are so intertwined. But the holidays are when it's really felt the most. A lot of people don't understand why we still do stuff like that together.

[Caleb Hearon]

Kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

I don't know. Is it. Is it stupid to think that we can still have holidays and family time and stuff and memories and. And people not like people just don't understand that we're still doing things together and having memories and they. We get a lot of pressure from the family. You know what's going on? Lots of questions. I guess what I'm saying is how do we tell people just kind of back off and leave us alone about this or are we crazy to think that this is unhealthy? I'm probably running out of time. Anything that you can do to help in this scenario? Are we silly to think that family life can still happen and. Or should we just like stop this and not be doing things together or not care about people and what they say? I don't really know what I'm asking at this point. Thanks so much for your hope to hear from you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I should say the first call we took was like hello.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right to the point.

[Caleb Hearon]

Two people I trust. I need an answer by tomorrow. I'm in the wine cellar at his parents house. They're asking me to direct the wedding. There's a gun to my head. This person was like I don't super think I'm understood sometimes. Any thoughts on me being understood or if I should change?

[Stavros Halkias]

There is a much.

[Caleb Hearon]

Two.

[Stavros Halkias]

Two women. Yeah. Dealing with being. Being newly being single later in life much differently. We'll say with much less a sense of urgency on. On this part. This woman is sound a little more. More of a little white wine at the end of the night type of vibe going on here. You know. Look people. When people. You know, divorce is very. It. It's weird how you handle that. Especially when you're. You know, you've been together for that long.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your lives aren't. You're right. They're intertwined.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's very rare.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's one life.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's one life.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

You built it totally Totally. And maybe in the future it'll start to branch off a little bit. And who knows? Maybe you end up with somebody, they end up with somebody, you stop doing this. Or maybe everybody comes together. But would I worry what other people. People think probably not. But what I also worry a little bit about. Are you kind of, like, folding into the inertia? Do you really want to still have one holiday? You know what I mean? Like, I've seen people get divorced and even after long periods of time, and it's like, yeah, they have. It's fine. Everyone kind of gets it. But then I've seen people that can't even be in the same fucking room together. I guess I would think, like, are you happy with this? Are you really, truly happy with the Searcher feelings? Do you actually want to spend Thanksgiving with your, you know, ex husband?

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you mad at him? Is he getting away with it? Did he break up your family by fucking his secretary and your stiff upper lipping it and being like, it's all good. Bring her over for the kids. For the kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't do that.

[Caleb Hearon]

Or did it end, you know, is it. I think there's a possibility sometimes I don't know your whole situation.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

But sometimes there's a possibility that you're doing this because you want to hold on to the comfort of the relationship. Relationship. And you're like, oh, it's for the kids. But it's nice to all be together. You need to make sure that it's not holding you back from going out. You do. You have built one life together, in my opinion, and now you're trying to extract two lives out of it. That's gonna be a lot of work. It'll be really hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

So you need to make sure that you're not just holding on to the life you had together because it's comfortable and pleasing. And you need to make sure that you're going out and building your own thing. But I think if you can do that, nice, really nice to do it for the kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's. And.

[Caleb Hearon]

But I should have everyone together.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's also ask, how old are these kids? Because it's 23 years.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are these 23 year olds? Because. All right, let's stop ducking behind the kids.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, if they're seven, maybe it's a little different, but if they're fucking adults, then maybe I just really think about what you want. Because also, as this woman didn't really have a point of view in general.

[Caleb Hearon]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Has she thought About. Have you even thought about this? Really? Or is she kind of going with the flow? I would love a little more info here.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah. Because I could see it both doesn't understand it. Who's pressuring you to not do it?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I need to know, what are they to you?

[Eldis]

I think, is there also, like, some underlying lying? Like she has to be really honest with herself about. Is there some hope on either her or the husband's part that they will again?

[Caleb Hearon]

Right. Bingo.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Eldis]

They just like, start as divorce says, and it turns into like this weird something ongoing.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You start living like gay guys.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, they start doing one of.

[Caleb Hearon]

The sexiest things you could do, which is covertly your divorced ex in the spare room on Thanksgiving.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It always does feel. Fucking an ex really is one of. One of the. The sweetest. Like forbidden fruits, you know, fucking someone who swore they.

[Caleb Hearon]

They were never going to want to.

[Stavros Halkias]

You again feels good.

[Caleb Hearon]

Like someone being like, we can't do this. It's. It's bad for us.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then being like, damn, but I need that. I need those. Powerful strokes. Stavros or whoever.

[Caleb Hearon]

We should have a morning radio, dude. Honestly put, stop it.

[Stavros Halkias]

When podcasts become what get Vegas residencies.

[Caleb Hearon]

We're going to.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're going to merge. So true. And Stavi's World. And we're going to do. We're going to be at the Tropicana.

[Caleb Hearon]

We're going to commission the most powerful seats in the country.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And bring. And bring this herd of cattle into Vegas.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, we will be sitting on reinforced steel, I promise you that. Yeah, that's a good point, Eldis. And so, yeah, that's what we're going to say here. We'd love a little more information. You yourself understand that you didn't even truly ask us anything, and we just kind of. Kind of gave our best guess. But, yeah, good luck out there.

[Caleb Hearon]

What I gather from the call is that you. You have no point of view. You hardly have a life. It seems. It's hard to understand where you're coming from because I don't know that you're coming from anywhere.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Best of luck.

[Stavros Halkias]

But also it's interesting because, like, you know, like, you're. Like you said, you're. You're. You're at your holidays, you're spending with your grandma. Like, it's. People have weird family situations. Like, you know, my. My family, we are. Our holidays have been strange where it's like, you know, some of, you know, my brothers have gotten married. Some of Them spend it with their. With their wives that we used to do together as a family. Now they're splitting off. Like, changes in general. It's not just divorce. It's like people are just always have, you know, holiday stuff. I've spent it with friends that are really close to me. So it's like, don't be afraid of change necessarily. And don't be afraid to have a non traditional, like, holiday setup either.

[Caleb Hearon]

It can be beautiful. My Thanksgiving this year will be literally like neighbors of mine, friends of mine, my mom, my mom's side of the family, my dad's side of the family. Like, because now I host, so now I'm the connecting piece. It'll be. Yeah, it'll be like, family is weird. Just do what feels good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

And genuinely do what feels good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

That's also holiday advice. If you don't like doing something, don't do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just don't do it.

[Caleb Hearon]

Bail out on that sucks.

[Stavros Halkias]

I hate that get out of aspect of it.

[Caleb Hearon]

We have to go to Tuscaloosa because it makes grandma happy. Grandma?

[Stavros Halkias]

Her that old? She's gonna be in the dirt soon. Put us another little ld. You need a drink or anything, buddy? No.

[Caller 2]

Hi, Stavy baby, eldest and esteemed. Yes. I have a question about my girlfriend, her friend, and her boyfriend. So my girlfriend often goes out with her best friend and her boyfriend for.

[Caleb Hearon]

Lunch or dinner or drinks when I'm.

[Caller 2]

Not available about working or doing whatever. And her best friend's boyfriend will pay.

[Caleb Hearon]

For all my girlfriend drinks and food and stuff.

[Caller 2]

And it's really annoying.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I hate that he does it because now when I go out with.

[Caller 2]

My girlfriend and his girlfriend, he's not there. I feel obligated to do the same thing.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I don't want to pay for.

[Caller 2]

Another food or drinks or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sound like a fun dude?

[Caleb Hearon]

My girlfriend has her own goddamn money when she's not with me. And I have one girlfriend. I don't want to be paying for two girlfriends. And this guy, he does well for himself.

[Caller 2]

He makes good money. I do too. But I pay for my girlfriend.

[Caleb Hearon]

You pay for your girlfriend?

[Caller 2]

My girlfriend's got her own fucking money.

[Caleb Hearon]

Your girlfriend's got her own fucking money.

[Caller 2]

I don't want to be obligated to pay for your fucking girlfriend when you're not around. It's frustrating.

[Caleb Hearon]

And when I don't do it, my girlfriend kind of gives me a look. You don't do it? I don't like it. So what do I do?

[Caller 2]

Do I just say it?

[Caleb Hearon]

I'LL just do it because it's night.

[Caller 2]

It's the right to return the favor. Or just say, just because you did it doesn't mean I have to.

[Caleb Hearon]

Oh, my. How do I handle this?

[Caller 2]

Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. That was some of the most little dickory I've ever heard in my life.

[Caleb Hearon]

Hey, Stavi. What's up, dude? So, basically, my girlfriend's friend has a nicer boyfriend than me, and he's treating my girl like gold. And if she expects me to be nice to women, I'm not.

[Stavros Halkias]

So I guess.

[Caleb Hearon]

Dobby. What gives? What's this angle?

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's her boyfriend a faggot, or.

[Caleb Hearon]

Do I got some points?

[Stavros Halkias]

What are you talking about?

[Caleb Hearon]

Loser.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, and you know, it's crazy. You're absolutely right. The treating a woman I'm not nicely thing really is what it boils down.

[Caleb Hearon]

To Also, you idiot. These guys are so stupid. Do you know what would get your girlfriend hotter than anything?

[Stavros Halkias]

Is to treat her friend a little kindness.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, you treat her friend nice, guess what's happening when you go home that night. Yeah, a lot of fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

A lot of.

[Caleb Hearon]

You idiot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Much better stuff than insisting her friend venmos you for buffalo egg rolls.

[Caleb Hearon]

You.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, you sending her friend a 1295 Venmo request is not getting you sucked off, pal.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, I can. Look, I can tell by the. The tone and the arrangement of the voicemail. Y'all aren't going to caviar spots, okay? I know we're talking about a Texas road.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can't spring for a pizookie at BJ's, my friend.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, I guess. What's. What's hotter, you pick up the Friends 12.99 burger and fries, or you refuse and white knuckle the steering wheel the whole way home?

[Stavros Halkias]

You think I'm made of Red Robin burgers with unlimited fries, you fucking bitch.

[Caleb Hearon]

I mean, I don't want to pay for another bitch's meal.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you know what's crazy? Is that, like, okay, I fully don't agree with this philosophically. This is crazy.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But what really gets me is the tone. Yeah, because, like, let's just say you're a guy who's just not doing that well financing. You're like, I love my girlfriend. Her friends are great. This other guy, he's just better off. He's better off. Finance to me, I'd love to be able to do this, but he's putting me in a weird situation. Yeah, I could see how that would be a little bit of an issue. Ultimately, you still have to suck it up. I mean, he's just put. You just have. It would just be weird not to return the favor.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

But his anger and his fucking like, clear annoyance is just. I hate you, dude. Let alone what your fucking. What the girlfriend thinks. And, and we might not even. We might even be able to get along if I met you in a different circuit circumstances. But your take on this sucks.

[Caleb Hearon]

You're so right. If. If his angle had been like, I'm stressed out. I don't make as much money as this guy. I really want to treat my girlfriend's friend nice because he treats my girlfriend nice and we're all buddies. Would it be cheap to like suggest that we go to cheaper places when we all hang out? Because the money he does. That would be a different angle. This, this is. Was frankly concern. Like, I feel like this guy is on the steps of the Capitol right now about to like, self immolate over this. Like, he's so scary and intense.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know.

[Caleb Hearon]

I hate that he's getting laid.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know. And it's like, dude, what? I mean, he says he does well.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You say you do well for yourself, dude. So suck it up. My girlfriend has her own money. It's like, dude. Also, how often is this happening, right? What are we talking about, a lunch a month?

[Caleb Hearon]

Hey, Stubby. So basically, my friend goes out with her girl, her friend's boy boyfriend, three, four times a week.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, that's another issue. It's like. Yeah. I mean, if this is happening all the time, then maybe you got a different issue. But it's like, I can't fathom if he's talking about this being a scheduling issue. Right. It's like what we. They usually go on double dates, it sounds like. Right. And it's like when he's not available, they'll go out with him. Right? So that's. So most of the time it's double dates. Sometimes it's the other guy. Sometimes it's just him. One out of like. How often is it just him? It can't be that many times.

[Caleb Hearon]

Well, it sounds like it might be.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, this is crazy. So, dude, you're so. Your attitude is so, so up here. It's insane. It's like you gotta spring 40 extra bucks. What are we talking about here? And yes, learn to just be nice to people in your life. These are people. This is your friend, Your girlfriend's close friend. Like, it's probably her best friend.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Would it kill you to show kindness to other people in your Life, it would be different if you weren't doing well. But he's. He's made a point to say I do well for myself. Yeah, you philosophically just don't want to spring like if this hurt your pockets for real. It's a different story. But if it doesn't, you're being a. You gotta just be a nice guy. And when in doubt, when in doubt, paying a little more, tipping a little more go, you know, caring a little more. If it doesn't, if you're not going to be affected by it. When in doubt, always do a little more and your life will be better for it. I promise you.

[Caleb Hearon]

Also, message for this guy that I want to give to a lot of people. Relax.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Caleb Hearon]

You have got to calm down.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

There is no reason you should be this worked up. This is so silly. And I'm also like, what else do you get this worked up about? Your girlfriend should. I'm sorry, I'm just going to say it. It seems like your girlfriend should break up with you.

[Stavros Halkias]

I agree.

[Caleb Hearon]

You seem really intense. I think you need some time to figure out you. This was crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. What are. He definitely has hang ups about money and about. This is also a very. Which I appreciate about you. You don't have this, but it's like this is kind of like white American behavior. Yeah, it's like a, like, like I had a. I had a friend who's like from mar. Like in college I lived with another Greek kid. And then we also live with our buddy who was just from like Maryland. Just straight up, you know, honky ass. And this guy, everything was a. You almost felt like he was trying to get one over on you.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He had this scheme for a while where he was like, hey guys, you want to split groceries? And we're like, that sounds good. Turns out his parents were just paying for his groceries and he was still taking money from us.

[Caleb Hearon]

Crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

He was like, well, you guys, you guys bought a third of them. What is the. What does the matter to you? And it's like, that's not the point. You're taking money from us. You're like, why should you profit? It was just like. But that's how some people think. And that's like a shitty mentality. That's not how you treat the people in your life. That's not how you treat your friends.

[Caleb Hearon]

Well, they do. They view everything through a lens of fairness. They go, well, isn't it fair? And I would say to that. Is it kind, right? Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Who gives a fuck if it's stealing from your poor friends. Do you feel good about that?

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. Yeah. I was also so broke at the time. So that's, that's a great thing. Is like kindness. Being kind and being a little nicer than you have to be is never bad. Always improves everything.

[Caleb Hearon]

And if you can't. This is what I'm always saying to people. If you can't get on board with doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do, imagine the benefits that will bring to you. That's not how I do it. I'm nice because I think it's nice to be nice. But I'm saying, can you imagine rational perspective, just rational self serving. If that's the place you come at the world from which it is. Clearly sounds like you do. Right. So you go, what's the reality? I'm. I'm weird and upset about this. And then my girlfriend sees me being weird and upset. Even if she's a total idiot and is like cool with that. That's not a fun vibe for the relationship or the night. Or there's the version where you're really nice to her friend and she either neutral, doesn't care and doesn't see you weird and upset, or she loves it and thinks you're a great guy. Guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

What is the loss here?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

You weirdo.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it's also funny because he's so cooked. It's done.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because he's already done this a couple times.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they're already talking about what a piece of is compared to the nicer boyfriend she's at lunch with.

[Caleb Hearon]

Just the girlfriend sometimes going, I just wish Ryan would be more like David.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

I promise you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. You're. You gotta. Yeah. You have to make up, you know, some. Something for the reason you did it or be overly nice or something. But either way you gotta change the whole way you look at the world.

[Caleb Hearon]

Man.

[Stavros Halkias]

That sucks. This call sucks, dude. You suck. You, bro. It's acting like a broke bitch when you have money. Disgusting behavior.

[Caleb Hearon]

Disgusting behavior. Hate to see it.

[Stavros Halkias]

I spit on that piece of. I hope you have a Thanksgiving turnaround, buddy.

[Caleb Hearon]

Like one of your biggest fans probably.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Has bought merch.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

How's your free cool calendar hang up in his office?

[Stavros Halkias]

The calendar is for sale. Great. Great plug. Let's put a little. Put a little picture of it right here. Place another one. LD.

[Caller 2]

Eldest and guest. I got a question for you that I think only you can handle. You got the best body positivity and owning your Body out there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Caller 2]

So I was always overweight as a kid. My whole freaking life. I got up to like 2:30 and I finally started to work out. Just, just not even to look good, but just because I was so immobile and couldn't even time my shoes. I get that now I'm about. I dropped out all the way to like 165. I've lost more weight than I ever would have thought. I never thought I would get in this low. But another big problem that I thought was going to go away. I was hiding it and never facing it and just assuming. I got bitches, man. Medically, medically induced tips gynochemastia. I'm 24 right now. I was just hoping it would go away one day.

[Caleb Hearon]

With age.

[Caller 2]

I like, I would do Googles and, and, and they said it could go away as you grow older. But about to be 24, about 25 and my stuff still got him. And honestly I was never really insecure about them or anything. I was always good about owning like my body.

[Stavros Halkias]

But now it's weird, like my big naturals were never an issue for me.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, I got perfect handcuff B sized titties.

[Stavros Halkias]

Keep playing eldest.

[Caller 2]

But now it's weird, dude, because like when I was fat, like tits just made sense to have like some man boobs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like I'm fat.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I'm gonna have some man boobs. But now I'm like, I lost a lot of weight. I'm a little like, I'm not. I don't have a six pack or anything. But like, you know, I work out, I lift and like, I have people like, and I, you know, I'm always sleeveless. I got, you know, I got a little bit of muscle, but then I take off my shirt and it's just some, just some. And they're inverted. I got inverted nipples too, bro. So it's just like, I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

If nipples were nicer, would that be.

[Caller 2]

Better to get rid of them? And it's just weird because like, as a kid and when I remember as a kid, I was like a teenager, I always owned it. And like, I never, I really never had a problem with it. People would give me. But I was told I didn't care and I honestly didn't. But it's just weird because now I feel like it looks, it does make sense because I'm fit now and I still have these tits.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

And the surgery just looks like a, looks like a lot of recovery.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

But anyways, should I Still just, like, own it and just like, be like, yeah, it's just my body and I'm fine with it. Or should I get the surgery and have a much better physique?

[Caleb Hearon]

You know what?

[Caller 2]

Whatever you think, let me know. Thank you, Savi. Appreciate it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Caleb Hearon]

I have so much to say about this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Please go. The floor is yours.

[Caleb Hearon]

What you're experiencing right now is body dysmorphia. Something you used to like about your body has changed and you don't like. Or something that didn't bother you about your body has now come into focus and you're not enjoying it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Okay. You're having body dysmorphia. Totally normal. When you lose a bunch of weight or something, big changes about your body happens to people who have accidents and lose limbs or like, like, this is normal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caleb Hearon]

But something interesting to me is that, you know, the kind of like this surgery, a lot of guys have this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

The number one under 18 gender surgery that occurred occurs is for cis boys who have breasts that they want reduced. Did you know that?

[Stavros Halkias]

I did not know that.

[Caleb Hearon]

Right wing people go on and on and on about sex changes for kids, which is not happening.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Caleb Hearon]

It is straight up not happening.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

They go on and on and on about this. I think it happens like maybe a dozen or two dozen times a year.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Caleb Hearon]

And I, I'm gonna butcher the numbers on this, but an overwhelming majority, like over 90%, if not like 98, over 90 of those are guys like this who have boobs in their little titties shop just getting, just getting their breasts reduced because they have, they have breasts and it makes them feel. It gives them gender dysphoria. Yeah, they, they. They are a man. They are a boy. They feel like a boy, but a part of their body is not let make like making them feel that way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

So it's wild to me that a lot of people on the right would be. Would say, this guy, he can't have that surgery. I think, by the way, brother, if you're not. If you're not liking it, if it's making you feel this work about your gender, you feel like a man. You like the way you've lost. You like the gains you're making in the gym, that's exciting you. And you want your chest to be developed in a different way as you continue that get that fucking surgery.

[Stavros Halkias]

I agree with that. I think, I think especially because, yeah, he's. He's just saying, like, it just makes me feel bad about my body. And he's into his credit. He said he's, you know, lost some weight. He's trained to get more fit. And the weird thing is losing the weight has made him more insecure about his body because it highlights, you know, his. His luscious breasts. So I agree with you that I think. I think, yeah, if you want to. Dude, there's nothing wrong as. As long as, like, it is truly, you know, actual gy. Whatever. And it's not just, like, what you're saying of, like, maybe you need to adjust to your body. If it's not just kind of gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia, where it's like your mind is kind of playing tricks on you. I think, like, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

You're not making it up because now you look different. Yeah, totally.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, make sure. And I. I trust this guy because we all know those guys who did have nice tits.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, growing up, it was weird. Like, there was a couple kids who had just straight up, they would be in the gym, and they weren't like, little fat boy titties. They were like, yeah, nice. There was. There's a kid. I won't say his name name. It's probably a package. There's a. A couple kids I went to high school with that, like, yeah, would, like, do, like, would trick guy would send pictures of their tits and be like, dude, those were my tits. You're gay, dude. That was a classic prank.

[Caleb Hearon]

Pull out your dick, see if it's hard. Okay. All right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I knew two different guys that had, like, round tits that if you just looked at them, what, you absolutely would think they were, like, nice. Like, nice tits.

[Caleb Hearon]

The human body is complicated.

[Stavros Halkias]

The human body is interesting. Very interesting. So, yeah, dude, I'm with you. I'm with Caleb here, where it's like, look, if you're really feeling like you want to, you know, if you really feel like this is something that's really holding you back, get the surgery. Who gives a fuck? I've seen. I see gym bros get that shit a lot because kind of exactly in this guy's situation where they lose a bunch of weight and they get jacked, and then they're like, wait, I still have tits. What's going on here? Yeah, and sometimes you just have breast too issue.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's going to be something, by the way, if you make a big change to your body. If you gain a bunch of weight, lose a bunch of weight. Any. Any big change you make to your body, it's going to be something.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

There's going to be loose skin. There's going to be a new proportion that looks different to you. You're going to notice that you walk a little strange because your body's now a different proportion. There's going to be something. So just view it as part of the process. If you're. If you're on your way to a vision that you have for yourself, that's different, Go make it a reality.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, go nuts.

[Caleb Hearon]

Have the surgery, brother. Or there is the option where you say, no, I don't want to have surgery. It seems painful. The recovery seems bad. And it is. And it will be, by the way. That's true.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

If you say, no, I don't want to do that. That seems intense. I'm just going to, like, love myself and know that someone out there will with this. Someone will. So a lot of people will.

[Stavros Halkias]

There might be a lady that's really into sucking on a man's titties.

[Caleb Hearon]

There surely is.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's got to be.

[Caleb Hearon]

They're out there.

[Stavros Halkias]

I've only had it one. One time a woman was kind of being mean to me and almost kind of call me fat by playing with my tits.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I've never really had too many people suck on my tits. But maybe for you, that'll happen.

[Caleb Hearon]

You know, Try it sometime. Maybe it'd be nice.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. At this point, I don't care. Do whatever.

[Caleb Hearon]

Have fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. If it's the love of my life that we were talking about earlier and she's got a suck on my titties, great. Yeah, I do. I don't have this guy. I don't have, you know, I don't have the. The fat body type of titan titties I have for my body. I have pretty small titties. I would say you too.

[Caleb Hearon]

I think I have the normal size. My tits are. I have nice tits. I like my man boobs. Yeah, they're nice.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're pretty normal, I say. You're right. I think mine are a pinch smaller than they should be, which I. I also like. I like the. The very round, you know, kind of stepfather body type that I got, you know?

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A hefty base, nice little base, big wheelbarrow and then just little titties.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I just got to get these arms bigger. We've discussed this. I got to be big arms, little titties. It's been the. It's been the white whale of my life for the past probably seven years. Big arms, little titties. And one day we'll get there.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I see Moby Dick. He caught the whale at the end, right?

[Caleb Hearon]

Bobby Dick? He gets the whale.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, right.

[Caleb Hearon]

Do we know that's a joke?

[Stavros Halkias]

I assume he doesn't. I thought you would know because you.

[Caleb Hearon]

Guys sound off in the comments. Moby Dick, what happens?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm sure he doesn't. This is not the whole point of the book.

[Eldis]

Probably doesn't. If I had to.

[Stavros Halkias]

If I had to guess. Yeah.

[Eldis]

I only read halfway through that book.

[Stavros Halkias]

I didn't read it all.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, and let's never find out. By the way, let's commit the three of us in this room. Don't read the comments. Don't look it up. Let's never find out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, people are going to be idiots. Well, but suck us.

[Caleb Hearon]

Suck us.

[Stavros Halkias]

Suck us, dummies.

[Caleb Hearon]

Suck us. 20, 20, 38. Kiss heron. So suck us.

[Stavros Halkias]

Suck us and bust. Suck us. Bust and vote for abortion.

[Caleb Hearon]

Busting at the abortion clinic. Suck us.

[Eldis]

When Trump won, my sister texted me. She's like, what the fuck is happening? She's like, stop. Should run for president. And then she was like, stops. Platform Republicans can suck my dick.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's not far off.

[Caleb Hearon]

Well, they can.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

If they're high, they actually can. Yeah. I mean, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing a voter registration check when I'm getting sucked off.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm not means testing somebody who wants.

[Stavros Halkias]

To give me head. That's right, we don't. We're against means test.

[Caleb Hearon]

No purity testing. Testing. If you want to give me head. I don't care what you said on the Internet in 29 in 2009. Say whatever you need if you want to suck me off your voting record. Doesn't matter.

[Stavros Halkias]

Amen, brother. You said it. Oh.

[Caleb Hearon]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Caleb Hearon]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Caleb Hearon]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Caleb Hearon]

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[Stavros Halkias]

We're prohibited by law.

[Caleb Hearon]

See terms and conditions.

[Caller 3]

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[Stavros Halkias]

Com cocktail what do we got? I. I feel you. Good, man. Are we good? You good to keep rolling? Do you have some.

[Caleb Hearon]

Keep rolling. Like what you want to do more voicemails?

[Stavros Halkias]

One more voice voicemail. Yeah, yeah. Something to go out on. I don't know how long we've been doing. I've lost track because I'm having a good time.

[Eldis]

We're at 142.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, nice.

[Caleb Hearon]

Nice.

[Caller 2]

Aldi, Sumptuous guest. It's good to see you all. Well, I can't see you, but anyways. Okay, here's the deal is I recently graduated from community college and I'm also. I happen to be a comic, and things have sort of been popping off for me. The road has been good to me, and one of my old professors caught wind of it, and he recently asked if I wanted to go back and visit the school and teach a seminar on joke writing, which is super exciting. I really was super hyping it up. But then he mentioned to me that he asked another student who does comedy at the school to also presents on this presentation. And here's the thing is, I'm. I'm putting this as gently as I can. She's the worst comic I've ever fucking seen.

[Caleb Hearon]

She.

[Caller 2]

It's just a nightmare.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, she's.

[Caller 2]

She's been a problem in the scene. She's like banned from all of the open mics. This woman shouldn't even be near a microphone, much less teaching a seminar on joke writing.

[Caleb Hearon]

You shouldn't be, by the way. Can I say somebody who calls into Stavi's podcast to say that he's killing it on the road?

[Stavros Halkias]

There's no way that's true, buddy.

[Caleb Hearon]

Also, did. Did you notice the slide from teaching a seminar to presenting on a presentation? Something's off here, my friend.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I'D love to have a little more info. You're not. Here's the thing. No new comic. And as he say, he didn't say he's new, but if he's just recently out of college, he's relatively new. You're not as good as you think you are. You're probably bad. Think you're good. Yeah, we all think we're good. I remember thinking I was. I actually quit my job cuz I had so much like local road work.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That I was like, whoa, I. I made enough money where I was like, if this keeps going, I don't need a job. And I quit my job and I did not get booked for. I just, all my gigs were just in two months. I didn't get booked for six months after that. And I was like, oh, I can't quit. I'm. I'm not good. I'm not a professional comic. I just happen to get booked at all the gigs that were going to book me this year.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

In two months.

[Caleb Hearon]

And they're not going to have you back to do the same. 15 minutes exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Hey, 35. But yes. Anyway, sorry, just to be clear, you're not doing as well as you think you are. We're pretty positive.

[Caleb Hearon]

We'll hear you out, but.

[Stavros Halkias]

We will hear you out.

[Caller 2]

Seminar on joke writing. She just, I mean, she just doesn't.

[Caleb Hearon]

Know anything about writing jokes.

[Caller 2]

Right.

[Caleb Hearon]

Do you feel like.

[Caller 2]

Here's the problem though, is she's all always advertising the fact that she, quote unquote, does comedy. And she's even got like this club at the school, the comedy club there, where she'll. She'll drag around an amp on wheels through the community college lunchroom and just start doing jokes at people trying to enjoy their lunch.

[Caleb Hearon]

Sounds awesome.

[Caller 2]

So it's like people know her and she's telling everyone that she knows me, which is like, she does know me. She's a nice lady. But I don't know what to do about the fact that there's a risk that this woman might be teaching comedy.

[Caleb Hearon]

Because I. Oh, oh, no.

[Caller 2]

I don't want to be associated.

[Caleb Hearon]

Wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would be a real big fucking problem. Who gives a. I don't know.

[Caller 2]

Where do I go?

[Caleb Hearon]

What do I do?

[Caller 2]

I need some help. How do I move forward?

[Caleb Hearon]

Love you.

[Caller 2]

Bye.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is not an issue.

[Caleb Hearon]

When he's trying to trash this woman. He's like, he's like, yeah, she's saying she does comedy and she's like taking things into her own hand, making it work, like building a Fan base, slowly but surely, it's like, sounds like she does comedy, know who she is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. By the way, even if she's horrible.

[Caleb Hearon]

She might be. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And she is. You are. You are the same.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, that's the, that's the thing about comedy. That's why it doesn't deserve any respect.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You and anybody who just says they're a comedian and goes to open mics are the same until, I don't know, you've been doing it 10 years.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like the Internet has. People think because you have crowd work, clips go viral that it means anything. It doesn't mean anything. And even, and look, look, if you're starting to feature, even if you're starting to headline, maybe you're a little more established than this person, that's fine. But to be clear, what you said earlier is you also should not be teaching anybody comedy.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, there's an argument made that no one should be teaching standup comedy. That it's impossible to actually learn it that way. It's not like this other stuff that you can. Like most seminars, it's like the best ones are from people who have been doing it a really long time, don't have any fucking. You know, they just know where they are. They really enjoy comedy and they just want to give some knowledge. But they've been at it for like, I don't know, 15 years, you know what I mean? Like, or. And then most of them are like, I like, sometimes it's just road comics. They're like, look, I don't care, but I can make an extra 800 bucks if I, if I just come, If I come here on set Saturday, two hours before my show, I'll just. It. You know what I mean?

[Caleb Hearon]

Like, if you're jazzed about teaching a stand up seminar at a community college, there's nothing that's really cool that could be a cool thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

But if it's like the thing that's making you feel excited about your career right now, you're not in a good enough place to be mean to this person. Okay?

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Caleb Hearon]

That's the reality.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Caleb Hearon]

You and her are both in the lunch hall at the cafeteria.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

She might be the only one with an amp.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

But you are both in then.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

So don't be mean to her. Relax. And also, I would like to offer you, my friend, the perspective, because I'm also not being mean to you. You might be really great. You might be the biggest comedian working in five years. I don't know. But here's a perspective I would like to offer you on your road to greatness. Instead of never wanting to be associated with someone who's bad at this, why don't you go somewhere that you're excited to be and just tell your part of it? Why don't you go do the seminar and tell what you love about writing jokes and don't be mean to that person. Maybe she could learn something from you. Maybe you could learn something from her. Relax and be a little nicer.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we just don't have enough info about how you're a completely unreliable narrator.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like nothing you're saying is true. And you're right. Anyone who's excited for their college, asking them to come back and do a joke writing seminar does not have a comedy career.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

They just want to. You want to feel like you're an authority because deep down you know you're not. And that's fine. No one. No one is for a long time. You know, I've literally been doing comedy since I was 19, and it's only in the last couple of years I feel like I. I can, you know, let my nuts hang.

[Caleb Hearon]

Your nuts. Saying. I also will tell you. I think a lot of people, myself included, who start out as artists and creatives, I can. I can recognize in your voice the thing that you're feeling right now that I want to disabuse you of quickly, which is that you're feeling. You're using the fact that you think this person is so much worse than you at this to make yourself feel better about yourself.

[Stavros Halkias]

Skill.

[Caleb Hearon]

That is not sustainable.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

It's not nice. And if you were really that good, you wouldn't have to do that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Caleb Hearon]

So you should get over that quickly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And listen, we're not. I definitely felt that, you know, I was definitely a bully. Open micer who I was like, yes, I was a little funnier than some other people. And I would just mock that. I would be. You could hear my laugh when someone was bombing. You could hear me laughing in the back. That's who I was in open mics. You know what I mean? But that was shitty. And that didn't help. And it was only. You're right. When I just. Now it's like, hey, someone's bad at comedy.

[Caleb Hearon]

Great.

[Stavros Halkias]

Doesn't affect me. I don't give a. And, and. And he's also talking about this. He's like. Like, it's a big moral. How. How could I possibly let Sanctity of Comedy 7 half interested community college who.

[Caleb Hearon]

Are getting bonus points.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Who are doing this for extra credit because they were too hungover to finish their blackboard assignment by midnight. Who submitted their blackboard assignment two hours hours late and are forced to go to this like, this is not. This doesn't matter at all. Let's give you some perspective here. This is one of the least. This is one of the least important events that will ever occur in human history is this seminar at your community college.

[Caleb Hearon]

I've seen people pick a hot dog off a roller at 7:11 that had more stakes than what you're describing. Does not matter one iota. Myself, friends. And you're right. I did the same thing. I definitely. When I started at improv, I definitely thought it was funny that some of the people doing it with me thought they were as good at it as I was. It's a totally natural thing. I'm not being mean to you. I'm just saying I am.

[Stavros Halkias]

I want to also say I am being mean to you.

[Caleb Hearon]

I'm not. I'm just saying disabuse yourself. Get over that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Caleb Hearon]

Sooner rather than later.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes, yes. Keep at it. Keep working at it. I also know we. We've both been exactly where you are. We're. I'm. I'm sure things have picked up a little bit more than the open mics. And I know you know, I've obviously been shitting on you, but that is the funnest time. And have a good time with it. I still think about that moment where it's like, because early in your comedy career is the funnest part where you're starting to get better and you're actually getting paid shows and you're, like, performing in front of different types of people. That's the fun. That was the funnest time of my life. So have a good time with it. You're still not know what you should be teaching nobody anything. But. And you know, this lady might suck, but who gives a fuck? This seminar doesn't matter.

[Caleb Hearon]

Stop. Do you want to know something? Like, you just reminded me of something I cried at yesterday.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's that?

[Caleb Hearon]

I cry. I'm a crier. Yeah, I cried yesterday. It was related to what you're talking about. There was a video. I might cry talking about it. There was a video of Sandra.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Really wonderful actress. Who she was on a red carpet talking about. She was like, oh, do you know Chapel Roan? She was like, I love Pink Pony Club. And the person was like, why do you love Pink Pony Club? And she was like. Because I can remember the beginning of that song feels to me she was talking to a younger person and she was like, I can remember. Remember when I was your age. And everything felt like it was just starting. And then they. And then of course it was an edit. So they played the song over like videos of her as like a younger actor. Oh, I sobbed. I was like, that's so beautiful. But you're right, it's so fun when it feels like things are just beginning.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's the best.

[Caleb Hearon]

You're like, oh man, I might this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thing world of possibilities stressed about and.

[Caleb Hearon]

Dreamed about might actually happen. Oh, that's so fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that rocks. I agree. That rocks.

[Caleb Hearon]

But also you need to remember this girl might be feeling that about the things about being asked to be on the seminar is so we'll let her have her moment too.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I would, I would, I would. Yes. I would just like to say you're both equally excited to do this seminar. What does that tell you? Yeah.

[Caleb Hearon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's it. That's a little food for thought.

[Caleb Hearon]

That's all.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's all. And that's a little. That's a nice little note to go out on this beautiful Thanksgiving Monday where everyone go set a reminder, if that's even possible to do on Max. To watch Sweethearts.

[Caleb Hearon]

Hit the remind button on Max, y'all.

[Stavros Halkias]

You guys know that classic remind button on Max interface.

[Caleb Hearon]

Hit that remind button, y'all. Don't forget to do that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Go watch Sweethearts listen to so True. It's a great podcast. That was one of my favorite podcasts I've done in in years. I had a blast on your pod. Thank you so much for coming, Caleb. This was the best, dude. Thank you, dude.

[Caleb Hearon]

I can't wait to have you on my show again.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm coming back, dude. I'll be the co host, dude. I love you brother. Thank you guys for listening and we will. We will talk to you next week. Bye bye. Hey, it is Ryan Seacrest. There's something so thrilling about playing Chumba Casino. Maybe it's the simple reminder that with a little luck, anything is possible. Chumbacasino.com has hundreds of social casino style games to choose from with new game releases each week. Play for free, anytime anywhere for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Join me in the fun. Sign up [e-mail] sponsored by Chumba Casino. No PURCHASE NECESSARY NECESSARY VGW group void where prohibited by law 18/ terms and conditions apply.

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