#106 - Sarah Sherman and Ben O'Brien

Summary

Stavvy's World Episode #106 - Sarah Sherman and Ben O'Brien

Release Date: December 9, 2024

Introduction

In episode #106 of Stavvy's World, host Stavros Halkias welcomes longtime friends and comedic talents Sarah Sherman and Ben O'Brien for an engaging and humorous conversation. This episode delves into their shared experiences, personal anecdotes, and offers insights into navigating complex relationships and personal challenges.

Reconnecting and Early Experiences

The episode kicks off with Stavros welcoming Sarah back to the podcast for her third appearance, highlighting their enduring friendship. Sarah jokes about her early morning participation, revealing she had to wake up at 8:30 AM for the recording. Stavros humorously notes, “[02:35] Sarah Sherman: And we're discovering that the Celsius that I have been drinking before that show is affecting me 30 hours later,” illustrating the playful banter that characterizes their interactions.

The Cheek Zone and Multi-Dimensional Dynamics

A recurring theme in their conversation is the concept of the "cheek zone," a humorous metaphor for different dimensions of their comedic personas. Stavros quips, “[03:12] Ben O'Brien: Every now and then, I come out to the real world for very special guests,” emphasizing Ben’s unique role in their dynamic. This playful language sets the tone for their lighthearted yet insightful discussion.

Shared History and Creative Collaborations

Sarah and Ben reminisce about their time as roommates and studio mates during the pandemic. Sarah recounts, “[03:26] Ben O'Brien: We were in the. No, no, we had studio. We were studio mates,” highlighting their collaborative spirit. They discuss Sarah's audition for Saturday Night Live (SNL), with Ben expressing initial skepticism: “[04:15] Ben O'Brien: At first, I was like, no one will ever hire Sarah to do anything,” only to later acknowledge her success and unique artistic flair.

Therapy, Mental Health, and Personal Struggles

The conversation takes a deeper turn as they discuss therapy and mental health. Sarah shares her experiences with recurring nightmares and physical manifestations of stress, such as waking up with scratches, saying, “[28:52] Sarah Sherman: I've been waking up in the morning, and this is interesting. With bloody scratches all over my legs.” Stavros and Ben provide a supportive environment, reflecting on the importance of long-term friendships in managing personal struggles.

Holiday Traditions and Cultural Reflections

As the holiday season approaches, the trio reflects on their diverse holiday traditions and cultural backgrounds. Sarah shares memories of her unconventional Bar Mitzvah, infused with her signature humor: “[46:55] Sarah Sherman: The invitations were snakes in a can that I delivered to their house.” Stavros adds context, “[22:23] Sarah Sherman: And Ben had an extra garage and you rented out a little desk in Ben's. Fucking Ben's incubator,” illustrating their tight-knit community and shared creative spaces.

Navigating Complex Relationships: The Case of Ben O'Brien

A significant portion of the episode addresses a moral dilemma faced by Ben regarding his sister-in-law expressing romantic feelings towards him. Ben poses the question: “[74:13] What is like my moral responsibility to my brother here?” The group offers candid and often humorous advice, emphasizing the importance of boundaries and honesty. Sarah passionately advises, “[82:37] Sarah Sherman: But I'm just like. The thought of, like my brother being betrayed in any way brings me to tears.”

Advice Segment: Balancing Personal Grief and Relationship Expectations

Later in the episode, Ben seeks advice on balancing his grieving process following his mother's death with his girlfriend's desire to engage in holiday activities. He explains, “[105:11] Ben O'Brien: She wants me to go to all of her dinners and hang out and all of that jazz. My problem is that, that. Well, last month my mom died.” Stavros and Sarah offer empathetic solutions, suggesting setting boundaries and finding a middle ground that respects both his need for mourning and his girlfriend's wishes.

Conclusion and Announcements

The episode concludes with promotions for upcoming tours and sponsored segments, seamlessly integrating advertisements into the natural flow of conversation. Stavros encourages listeners to support Sarah's shows: “[73:20] Sarah Sherman: Well, we talked about Jesus sacrifice when he pushed the rock away or whatever. I like Jesus would sacrifice the clown suits. That's how much I love my.” They also highlight sponsorships, maintaining the podcast’s signature blend of humor and community engagement.

Notable Quotes

• Sarah Sherman [02:10]: “Well, I feel like I showed up on time.”
• Ben O'Brien [03:12]: “Every now and then, I come out to the real world for very special guests.”
• Sarah Sherman [28:52]: “I've been waking up in the morning, and this is interesting. With bloody scratches all over my legs.”
• Sarah Sherman [46:55]: “The invitations were snakes in a can that I delivered to their house.”
• Sarah Sherman [82:37]: “But I'm just like. The thought of, like my brother being betrayed in any way brings me to tears.”

Final Thoughts

Episode #106 of Stavvy's World masterfully blends humor with heartfelt conversations, offering listeners a window into the lives of Sarah Sherman and Ben O'Brien. Through shared stories and candid advice, Stavros Halkias fosters a sense of camaraderie and support, making this episode both entertaining and meaningful for those navigating personal and professional challenges.

Transcript

[Stavros Halkias]

Hey, comedy fans, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour, and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy.

[Ben O'Brien]

Like Atsuko Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb.

[Stavros Halkias]

Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronnie Chang, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes.

[Sarah Sherman]

And so many more.

[Stavros Halkias]

All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy. it is Ryan Seacrest here. Everybody needs some variety in life. That's what I love about Chumba Casino. They know how to keep things fresh and exciting. All their games are free to play, like spin slots, bingo and solitaire. You can claim free daily login bonuses too. And they release new games every week. So spice things up with chumbacasino.com now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law. 18/ Terms and Conditions apply. What's up, gang? We have an incredible show for you with two favorites. Benny Butchen, Sarah Squirm, Sarah Sherman coming up right now. But I want to tell you, tickets are on sale for the Dreamboat Tour. Me and Eldis are hitting the road. We're on a tour bus, just two plus size Eastern Europeans on the open road. I'm going to be doing shows all across the west coast, the Midwest, the south, and hopefully later in the fall, we're gonna add east coast states as well. But right now, go to Stavi Biz. Get your tickets. All new hour. Nothing you've seen on Netflix, nothing that you've seen on YouTube. It's all new stuff. And it's gonna be. I'm pumped. I can't wait to finally get back. I took the year off. I'm coming for you. So get your tickets right now and let's start the show up. Aha. Welcome everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-STAV, call in. We'll solve all your problem. It's December 9th. I'm here with my good pals Sarah and Ben. Welcome back, Sarah. This is your third time on the pod.

[Sarah Sherman]

Well, I feel like I showed up on time.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's good. You did.

[Sarah Sherman]

I did.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's an early recording.

[Sarah Sherman]

Tell the class how early it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is 10 right now. It's 10:18am that is early. That is early.

[Sarah Sherman]

Which means I had to wake up at like 8:30.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you were. You were on. You were live on Television mere days ago, just not even 30 hours ago or maybe 40 hours ago.

[Sarah Sherman]

And we're discovering that the Celsius that I have been drinking before that show is affecting me 30 hours later.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Ben is actually. So some people don't know this about the cheeks. And by the way, how does it feel not being in the cheek zone?

[Ben O'Brien]

It's horrible. It's so dense.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's so weird seeing your eyes on the podcast.

[Ben O'Brien]

It's so dense. We were being in the 3D world.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's in the cheek zone in a different dimension. Oh, he's usually coming to the podcast from a different dimension. And sometimes we get trapped in the cheek zone. When he's powerful, when he's at his most powerful, he can trap the whole podcast in the cheek zone. He goes without saying, you've narrowly escaped it today. He's weak.

[Ben O'Brien]

Every now and then, I come out to the real world for very special guests.

[Sarah Sherman]

We used to be roommates, of course.

[Ben O'Brien]

Oh, yes. During the pandemic, we.

[Sarah Sherman]

Roommates.

[Stavros Halkias]

You slept in the same house?

[Ben O'Brien]

We were in the. No, no, we had studio. We were studio mates.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

Sarah had a studio in my garage. I remember that during the pandemic. And then you left for snl, you.

[Sarah Sherman]

Know, and I auditioned and I was like, in the. It was this, like, freezing cold garage.

[Stavros Halkias]

You auditioned in the garage?

[Sarah Sherman]

I auditioned via Zoom. No, I auditioned in real life and then went to the garage and I was like, fucking lol.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm like, snl. Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then. Yeah, I remember Ben saying that, like, can you believe it? They fucking asked Sarah to audition. And then we laughed about it and we were like, that fucking bitch. No way.

[Sarah Sherman]

You guys were like, you're going to get it.

[Ben O'Brien]

No, I. Yeah, I was fully like, you're getting it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, well, bet. But that. The reason you said it is because you didn't want her to get it. And you're convinced bad things happen.

[Ben O'Brien]

I just realized it all just kind of came into. It came into crystal clear view.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Ben O'Brien]

And I was like, oh, you.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, lauren's got his juice back. He's going to make some good calls.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's going to get. The cast is going to be good.

[Ben O'Brien]

At first, I was like, no one will ever hire Sarah to do anything. Yeah, she looks too crazy. She's got too much of her own thing. She's too much of an artist.

[Sarah Sherman]

You know what? He.

[Ben O'Brien]

He's.

[Sarah Sherman]

He's cracking wise and making laughs right now. He's the only person in the entire planet who ever Believed in me ever in my life. Every time you're you. Every day. You said I was a superstar.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Ben O'Brien]

And I was right. I manifest.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, he wasn't. Relax. Superstar's a little strong. You're good. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Kind of in a niche.

[Sarah Sherman]

By the time this comes out, I will have done a poorly attended show in Asheville, North Carolina, on Tuesday, November. What's Tuesday? No.

[Stavros Halkias]

19.

[Sarah Sherman]

19. Thank you. I really hope people have come to that by then.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we. Yeah, we. And maybe in the future, we will. You will do the show in a way that helps you, but for now, you know, it's all about me and eldest having a pat. Having a pre. Pre Record episodes so we can get one week off in December.

[Ben O'Brien]

We're almost caught up all the way through July 2025.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would be awesome, dude. You know, we should do for real. We should just pick random vault episodes and like. Like, record one next week and then release it in fully two years from now. That would be fun. The time capsule app.

[Ben O'Brien]

All right, that's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Write that down.

[Ben O'Brien]

We have to make our predictions for what it's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh. Oh, that's good.

[Sarah Sherman]

I mean, goes without saying. Flying cars.

[Stavros Halkias]

Awesome. Yeah. Flying cars.

[Ben O'Brien]

Two years. Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Flying cars. Barron Trump is president, and he's shorter. And he. Shorter. He made a deal with the devil to take some of his shin bones for immortal. For his father's immortal.

[Sarah Sherman]

Did he take HGH or.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know.

[Sarah Sherman]

How do you go. How do you go up in the sky? So maybe.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, well, maybe Trump turbocharged his old nut together. Maybe he. Maybe he injected HH into his nut.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's true. That's true. Maybe. I mean, we also don't know what Melania is packing.

[Sarah Sherman]

Right.

[Ben O'Brien]

With other people in her family.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Where she's from Serbia.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Luka Doncic is from Serbia, so she has some basketball players.

[Ben O'Brien]

So there's a tall person in that same country. We're getting closer. Yeah, there's a couple getting warm.

[Stavros Halkias]

And eldest just Googled. Why is Baron Trump so tall?

[Sarah Sherman]

You, like, you don't get that tall, like, from regular. You get it. Sometimes your mom has to be.

[Stavros Halkias]

El is literally six four. And he's. He's.

[Ben O'Brien]

They're refugees. Some might say six. Six.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Sarah Sherman]

This guy's six seven.

[Ben O'Brien]

But when. But when. When a race of people is. Is in trouble like this, they're. They start creating huge people. Oh. Like Elis, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh. Oh. His mom. His mom's womb could. Knew that they were under Duress?

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So they need a big homunculus to protect them.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm the last hope for the future of Albania.

[Sarah Sherman]

Are you always big and tall?

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Do you have to get special pants? I always wondered.

[Ben O'Brien]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, there's a Big and Tall store, of course.

[Ben O'Brien]

What do you mean? What do you think they do?

[Stavros Halkias]

You think between you and eldest, he's the one who needs special clothing? You think he has a harder time finding his outfits?

[Sarah Sherman]

You know what's crazy? I'm actually even. You don't even see the full outfit.

[Stavros Halkias]

I believe it.

[Sarah Sherman]

There are other even shirts going on underneath this.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's just for me, I respect that.

[Sarah Sherman]

There's a Mickey Mouse tie underneath.

[Stavros Halkias]

I see that the ties peeking out and I like that.

[Sarah Sherman]

Just for me. It's not for you. It's not for you. It's not for you. It's for me.

[Stavros Halkias]

When did the dumb dressing start? It was the first time.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh.

[Stavros Halkias]

How old were you?

[Sarah Sherman]

Like 12? I mean, yeah. I mean, even I have memories of going through, like my grandma. Do you guys hear my voice right now, by the way? Do I sound amazing?

[Ben O'Brien]

You sound raspy, sexy.

[Sarah Sherman]

I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

You sound regular to me. I'm not hard. Ben is, but go ahead.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm not fully hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Give us a percentage, dude.

[Sarah Sherman]

You can't feel sexual towards me because I would be. Familial insult.

[Ben O'Brien]

No, no, no, no, no. I don't. I don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's how you feel about everyone, Sarah. You don't want any sexual attention from anyone.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, I need it badly.

[Stavros Halkias]

You need it?

[Sarah Sherman]

Yes, badly.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you've got three layers of Mickey Mouse because that's the challenge.

[Sarah Sherman]

You know what I'm saying? It's like, what kind of mental gymnastics can I force people to do, Right? Because here's the thing. I'm going to. I'm going to say this right now, Please. Under four shirts and a Mickey Mouse tie, one of the most amazing bodies you've ever seen. Hog status.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, I don't know about that, pal.

[Sarah Sherman]

Legs.

[Stavros Halkias]

No. Cheers.

[Sarah Sherman]

Amazing. Happy trail. No tits. Hunchback spine. Out. It's incredible. You've seen it?

[Ben O'Brien]

Some of it, yeah. I really do have to say you. You. I. I'm more attracted to staff probably than I am to you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn, dude. I guess it'd be hard, but I guess I'd pick Sarah. But I would. I would have to really take the pros and cons list and figure it out. Perfect.

[Sarah Sherman]

Perfect face. Hangnails on everything. Eyebrows that meet in the middle. I'm pivoting. To supermodel after this.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, they do sometimes make you look presentable. When you have to play like a dumb bitch on snl, they blonde me out. When you have to play like an HR manager, I'm like, whoa, hey, Sarah's a human being.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah. Isn't that.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's not a little gremlin.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, Isn't that nice?

[Stavros Halkias]

She's not a little gremlin that got loose in a community theater's wardrobe room. I did.

[Sarah Sherman]

Growing up, I did get a lot of my clothes from the theater.

[Ben O'Brien]

You still get your clothes from, like, child, like, hop Halloween websites and stuff.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yes, this is true. And one of my favorite clown suits. Ruby. And I might be getting her in trouble for this. Ruby McCollister worked at a elementary school, and she stole one of the, like, kids clown costumes from, like, the, like, rummaging around box for the, like, kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dress up just for fun.

[Sarah Sherman]

She stole one of those? Yeah, just for fun box and she stole one of those. It's one of my most worn classes. I see. That speaks to the, like, the power of my body. It can fit lost and found childs.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true. I'll give you that. You have a child's body.

[Sarah Sherman]

If a child was a pog.

[Stavros Halkias]

If a child was a pog.

[Sarah Sherman]

I do think I count as a pog.

[Stavros Halkias]

You think you. I don't know.

[Ben O'Brien]

I will support you in whatever you want.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'll say this. I have typed POG into a number of search bars. Never has your body type come up.

[Sarah Sherman]

Big, fat legs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I would say big and fat.

[Sarah Sherman]

We can't see all the stripes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's true. You're wearing camouflage.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah. I think you're wearing bogus SNL. SNLified altitude.

[Stavros Halkias]

What are you talking about? I'd be fucking hot. Give me a little wig. Give me a fucking beautiful full head of hair.

[Sarah Sherman]

Ben.

[Ben O'Brien]

I mean, Ben.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ben would be a real problem. Ben's a piece of ass. He also has your disease of dressing stupid to not be taken seriously by society.

[Sarah Sherman]

I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ben is jacked. Ben is a hot piece of ass. Absolutely.

[Ben O'Brien]

I saw him without a shirt. I was like, what the. Why is Ben so cut? He's got abs.

[Stavros Halkias]

And, dude, if Ben put on, like, a suit and, like, got a hair trans. Like, if. If we made him. If we made him. Like, I mean, he doesn't need a hair transfer. But I'm saying if we gave him the substance, for example, Ben would be the best substance out of all of us. No question.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, because I think he would look weird with hair. I don't. Like, he has the perfect little head.

[Ben O'Brien]

I have a good head for being bald. But I do love to wear a wig.

[Stavros Halkias]

You forget how hair.

[Ben O'Brien]

You know, I have considered starting to wear wigs.

[Stavros Halkias]

You should for fun.

[Sarah Sherman]

Like as a hat. If your head's.

[Ben O'Brien]

Well, any. I used to teach like kids and we like, you know, we do film. So they were young.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're not.

[Ben O'Brien]

No, no. These were children.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really?

[Ben O'Brien]

And we would put college and the kids would always say. Someone would always be like, oh, my God, that looks so good. Like I put on like a silly wig. They'd be like, oh, my God, you should wear that.

[Sarah Sherman]

I would think you would look creepy.

[Ben O'Brien]

And like, wouldn't it be weird if I just came in the next day wearing this? Just not that.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's. Yeah, there's the.

[Ben O'Brien]

The trying to pull it off.

[Stavros Halkias]

That Tim Robinson sketch about how you've been wearing a wig and you want to go bald and then they hire the gorilla to rip. To rip your hair out. Or the.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's a really good idea.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Don't you think the eyebrows speak for themselves?

[Stavros Halkias]

Ben's. Yes, look, he's a sexy guy. I'm telling you. We all agree. Ben's hot.

[Sarah Sherman]

Ben's hot. Sarah's hot sauce.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sound off in the comments. Which of the four of us would you guys like to the most? We're doing. We're doing here on December 9, the beginning of holiday season. It's Objectify Stavi's World Month all December. Talk about how you want to slurp us up, but yes, you with a fucking. We with some hair and a fucking suit. An oxford tucked into some khakis.

[Sarah Sherman]

I mean, did you. What was your hair before it was disappeared?

[Ben O'Brien]

It wasn't good.

[Sarah Sherman]

It wasn't.

[Ben O'Brien]

It was very fine and thin and not. Not like it was thinning. I mean, I started thinning very young, but it just like when I went bald, I was like, this is liberating.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Was it this color?

[Ben O'Brien]

No, no. Oh, it was a little bit lighter than that.

[Sarah Sherman]

See, that's so odd, isn't it?

[Ben O'Brien]

It was like kind of light brown. It was very wispy.

[Sarah Sherman]

Sure. If I really grew my mustache out, I wonder what color it would be.

[Stavros Halkias]

Blonde, probably.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, I have one a little bit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. I see your facial hair. It's blonde. It is fine and blonde.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, God. Terrible. I like, I also have been growing like beard neck.

[Stavros Halkias]

Folks, it's the holiday season. It's time to give gifts and sure, you could do fun Stuff I'm sure Sarah has given her family whoopee cushions every year. But sometimes you need a nice practical no brainer. Like a shaving set for someone who forgot no shave. November is over, right? I'm a little scruffy now. As soon as I get back to the hotel, I'm hitting my Harry's products. We're big fans of Harry's over here at Stavi's World. Whether it's their beautiful steel blades engineered in a German factory. Whether it's their. I use their hair cream. Eldis uses their. What do you use? Eldis. What's your favorite thing?

[Ben O'Brien]

The texturizing putty.

[Stavros Halkias]

The texturizing putty. That's all eldest. I like the light hold, you know. I got these beautiful, beautiful curls. Now I need the light hold to tame my shit. But not looking too, you know, without too. Not looking too gelled up. We love them here. We've been fans, we've been using the product for years. We're stoked to have them as sponsors on Stobby's World. It just feels right in your hand. The razor handle is weighted and finished with no slip grip for a secure hold. I hate when the shit slips out of my hand. I cut my fucking beautiful cheeks. Not with Harry's richly lathering Skin Softening body wash. You could smell like redwood, Wildland stone. Whatever you want. Their deodorant's beautiful for just five buckaroonies. You gotta get Harry's. Shave your shit up. Style your hair up. Rub the deodorant on your stinking pits. It'll make you smell gorgeous. We love them. You'll love them too. Get Harry's Holiday Craft Set, a custom green gift box and free handle engraving when you go to harry's.com stavi that's harry's.com stavi for Harry's holiday Craft Set. What do you remember the first, like, outfit you were like where you were. You're stunting on them. Yes. You do. What was it?

[Sarah Sherman]

Middle school theater closet. I was rummaging through it, found a sequin jacket that was like identical to a sequin jacket. Like an 80s sequin old lady jacket that was identical to Grandma Yeta's sequin jacket from the nanny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, who was. She was awesome.

[Sarah Sherman]

Grandma.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, her mom. I can't remember her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yes, I remember. The grandma would pop up. Yes.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yep. Oh, I felt. Oh, me pulling up to middle school.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like that must have felt fucking awesome.

[Sarah Sherman]

I felt amazing.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you could just wear any dumb bullshit you wanted in Your school fucking.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, true. Yeah. We had. Cuz we had. We had school uniforms in Baltimore City because people were getting stabbed for, like, nice clothes. So they're like, all right. Everybody wears navy polos. Navy polos and khakis. You couldn't dress cool. Which actually was good for me because I. I didn't know what to. I couldn't be cool. I was just like.

[Sarah Sherman]

It forced you to focus on the personality.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good way to look at it. But then we had to do after, like, when it was like, hey, come to my party. I was like, ah. Oh, what do I do?

[Sarah Sherman]

What to show them?

[Stavros Halkias]

Didn't know what to show. It was tough. It delayed my ability to, you know, find my iconic Hawaiian shirts and tracksuit styling.

[Sarah Sherman]

And now you wear shorts that I thought, by the way, when I walked in were underwear. I thought you were in big underwear when I came on.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm not a big underwear. I'm a little underwear guy. Big shorts guy. Or if I'm. I do like a small inseam as well. Show the thighs off.

[Ben O'Brien]

Ah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Of course. You know, those are. And you were a pog as well.

[Stavros Halkias]

I am, yeah. I actually do have a. I have a thick bottom. Absolutely.

[Sarah Sherman]

Tag. Badass Greek girl.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not bad.

[Sarah Sherman]

It might be early, but you guys are. I'm coming out with, like, great things coming out of my mouth.

[Stavros Halkias]

You are doing good. Maybe you're a morning person.

[Sarah Sherman]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe you need to quit your job and get a morning radio show.

[Sarah Sherman]

That I do. You do radio shows anymore? No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Sarah Sherman]

No. You know that my. My ticket sales are requiring me to be doing them. Yeah, I did. Did you ever do the club in Phoenix?

[Stavros Halkias]

The what? Stand up live. Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Did you ever do the radio show? That one. So it's like phoenix, like 6 in the morning. Whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Awesome.

[Sarah Sherman]

And I walk into this. You know, you're all dehydrated because it's hair. It's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's also way too early.

[Sarah Sherman]

Way too early. And I get there, and they're like, sarah, squirm. Like, the second I get there, like, sarah, squirm. You're gross. Watch this video of this guy getting decapitated when his head gets caught between a bus and a lamppost. I was like, whoa. Oh, my God. Good morning.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't strike me as a person. You don't like death videos, though, right? You're more of, like, a pimp.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, I. I like. I like creative gore. That's not real. I don't like when people get hurt. It's upsetting except if you're like Steve O. That's fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah, if you did it on purpose.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, I didn't need to see a homeless guy's head pop off like a champagne gor.

[Stavros Halkias]

Have to riff on it. Have to riff on it without cursing for seven minutes.

[Sarah Sherman]

I don't even think I said anything. I think I just. My mouth was agape while they were all like, squirm. But seriously, I love those guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's nice that they called you Sarah Squirm and not your real name.

[Sarah Sherman]

I. They didn't know what they didn't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Sarah Sherman]

What do you. Do you guys call me by my real name?

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, I just.

[Ben O'Brien]

I don't.

[Sarah Sherman]

What do you say?

[Ben O'Brien]

I mean, if I say your full name, I say Sarah Squirm, because that's how I knew you originally.

[Sarah Sherman]

But you. To address me, you just. You say Sarah.

[Ben O'Brien]

Sarah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Do you call me anything? I call him Beno Bald Guy, which really threw me off because you guys had a different name for him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Benny Butt Cheeks.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, but he's Beno Bald Guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

He is to you. But he used to be Mr. Penis. Of course.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then he was Mr. Cheeks.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

What was Mr. Penis?

[Stavros Halkias]

He just kind of feels. I mean, if you look at Ben, he is like a huge. He's like a. He's a walking penis. That round, smooth head.

[Sarah Sherman]

Right. Have you seen his.

[Stavros Halkias]

Have you seen his prick? Yeah, I've seen outlines. It's probably nice. Okay, I've seen it. I haven't seen the whole thing, but I can tell he's probably packing.

[Sarah Sherman]

You've seen him?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

I mean, yes. Every time I'm on the pod, I mention this, but I've seen it more than, you know, past lovers, privates.

[Sarah Sherman]

When we shared the garage. Of course.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Did you get a. You sneak a peek?

[Sarah Sherman]

No, but he was. I. You.

[Ben O'Brien]

I often will warn the room that I'm.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, because when you guys were sharing the garage, you were probably editing the calendar. Yeah. Yes. And what this garage. This is a real. Real creative powerhouse, huh?

[Sarah Sherman]

It has a name.

[Stavros Halkias]

What was it for? How many. How many years ago?

[Ben O'Brien]

What was the name?

[Sarah Sherman]

Gunglers Garage.

[Ben O'Brien]

Garage. Well, you know, I just confused it with something from Baltimore called Gunky's Basement. But, yeah, it was Gungler's Garage.

[Stavros Halkias]

What was. What was in Gunky's Basement?

[Ben O'Brien]

Monkey's Basement was a film series.

[Sarah Sherman]

Of course. How could you be so stupid? Gungler's Garage was. It was based on a idea for a movie that. That doesn't exist and will Never.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Sarah Sherman]

And to explain what the Gungler is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like a horror villain.

[Sarah Sherman]

We can't even explain it to you. People would then like. It would. It's going to be like a million dollar movie for. But it's called the Gungler and that's what we named.

[Ben O'Brien]

But we wrote down the idea and we mailed it to ourselves so nobody can steal it.

[Sarah Sherman]

I do have a one piece of paper that explains. What?

[Stavros Halkias]

You have it?

[Sarah Sherman]

I have it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. It's like the Rosetta stone for the Gungler.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

It explains everything. And just to give people context, because I think we're speaking about things that we all know.

[Sarah Sherman]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But maybe the listener has no clue.

[Sarah Sherman]

I don't really care about years ago.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I'm the host here. I have to rein.

[Sarah Sherman]

Sure, sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Years ago. Not even years ago. Maybe four years ago. That's years.

[Ben O'Brien]

2020.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pre pandemic.

[Ben O'Brien]

After the pandemic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, it was after pandemic.

[Sarah Sherman]

It was pretty. It was during.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was right in the heart.

[Sarah Sherman]

First vaccine and then.

[Stavros Halkias]

So 2019 probably.

[Ben O'Brien]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Started.

[Ben O'Brien]

No, it was we. You started using my studio during the pandemic. Because I didn't move because I moved into that house during the pandemic. And I specifically got. Not a huge garage because I needed to have.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, so in 2020, Mr. Cheeks lived in LA.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You still do. You're back.

[Ben O'Brien]

You're.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're a nomad right now you're living in New York City. For now. And Sarah had moved from Chicago to LA to make you.

[Sarah Sherman]

And. Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

To make it big in Hollywood.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And. And you were. And Ben had an extra garage and he invited his pals.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you had previously been tour managed. Sarah. One of Sarah's tours.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's how you guys met.

[Ben O'Brien]

We met. Well, we met because my group Wham City Comedy would come through Chicago. You've made our flyer one year and I met you at the merch table.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Sarah Sherman]

And I meant listen not to toot, please. Made a pretty good flyer.

[Ben O'Brien]

It was an awe.

[Sarah Sherman]

It was so good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Have you thought about quitting many national television to become a graphic designer?

[Sarah Sherman]

Were you about to say Broadway?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no. Broadcast television.

[Sarah Sherman]

I. Well, that was what I was doing. Before that.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were a graphic designer.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, I was just like scamming people into paying me to do like images.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, that's good.

[Sarah Sherman]

I was a graphic designer.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were. You were. What the.

[Sarah Sherman]

It looks like. Whoa. Because I'm wearing glasses.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were designing Brooklyn graphics. Relax. You want to not be on NBC so bad. You want to be A cool bore person. So bad you're in the machine. Just accept it. You used to be a graphic designer and now you get money from George. Okay.

[Sarah Sherman]

I like being on snl. Thank you. Thank you, Peacock.

[Stavros Halkias]

The chip just fucking kicked in. What's. Tell us, Sarah, what's Domingo like in real life?

[Sarah Sherman]

One of the most hilarious sketch comedy characters.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is he cool in person?

[Ben O'Brien]

Not.

[Stavros Halkias]

And by the way, not the comedian who we know and is a cool guy. I mean, Domingo.

[Sarah Sherman]

Domingo is property of NBC Corporation.

[Stavros Halkias]

We can't even discuss him. Oh, shit. I just got an email. We're being served for mentioning Domingo as a fake entity here.

[Sarah Sherman]

The helicopter and I have to go. I hear the rope ladder being lowered.

[Stavros Halkias]

You hear boots on the fucking. We are on the. Well, I won't say where we are. Anyway, so that's a little background. You guys go back from then and so we're now. That's what. Gunglers Garage.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yes. Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is the place before you. Before we just moved from Chicago to la.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And. And Ben had creative space and you rented out a little desk in Ben's. Fucking Ben's incubator.

[Sarah Sherman]

It was some of the most magical memories of my life. Do you guys do the thing where you can insert a photo right here?

[Stavros Halkias]

We can if you want.

[Sarah Sherman]

Okay. Insert a photo right here. Painted a gorgeous mural in there.

[Stavros Halkias]

You did?

[Sarah Sherman]

Yes. Took weeks, months.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's also how I even, like, I sort of knew who you were through Ben. And you were just kind of like this entity of. This loose entity of the strange woman who rented a desk in his garage. And that's kind of. That's, I would say, sort of the beginning of our friendship, because I would say so. Ben was so. Ben was so important in both of our lives that just by him spending time with both of us, we just sort of became friends.

[Sarah Sherman]

I felt instantly close to you.

[Ben O'Brien]

You were. You were very prolific too. You were. You were doing a lot of shows and putting out a lot of stuff, but he wouldn't.

[Sarah Sherman]

He doesn't look at that crap. What is he gonna clue? What is he. I'm not surprised, him clicking on a YouTube link of me popping.

[Stavros Halkias]

Probably not. I've seen some videos. I thought it was cool, but. Yes, I'm not watching. Yeah, no, it was funny.

[Ben O'Brien]

We were both. We were both actually kind of like in the adult. The like end of the Adult Swim era together, trying to get like late night and television shows there and.

[Sarah Sherman]

Didn't work out for me neither.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, Ben is now my employee, so it didn't work out for.

[Ben O'Brien]

So you can tell that things have gone really well.

[Sarah Sherman]

You guys would be on the phone all day and night in that garage.

[Stavros Halkias]

We would chat a lot and I.

[Sarah Sherman]

Would feel like I was part of the familiglia just by being closed.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true. And you would put it on. Yeah, that's true. You'd be on speak. Probably the first time we ever spoke was on speakerphone through Ben.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yes. That's an intimacy none of you at home could ever understand.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is true.

[Ben O'Brien]

No, it's like Stav and I work, talk every day. And then. And also Stav will just call me at 3pm Just to talk, and we'll talk for an hour and a half.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's called being boys.

[Ben O'Brien]

It's awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's awesome. It's called being boys. Yeah, it is up how like, I truly. Me and Eldis, we've talked about this. It's. We've spent so much time together, and it's like we'll still just sometimes call each other to chat. It's crazy.

[Sarah Sherman]

Let's. Let's say something extremely important for the culture. Long phone calls with your friends.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Sarah Sherman]

Probably extends your life by like, decades.

[Stavros Halkias]

I actually think that's true. And I think. I think this is going to age me for the rest of my life. I am not a FaceTime guy. I am a phone call guy. And nobody likes that. People are either texting only or they're FaceTime people. No one on earth is a just phone call. You know, women I've dated, there might be a bit of a generation gap. Find it very strange that I call them on the phone. You know what I mean? They like it. But at first they're like. They're like confused when they get the first phone call. They're like, what the. Was this on purpose?

[Sarah Sherman]

Did you mean to call your lawyer or whatever? Yeah, man. I'll walk around. I'm not going to say the neighborhood I live in, but of course it's for millionaires and billionaires.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right next to Robert De Niro.

[Sarah Sherman]

I live in the Empire State Building. I'll walk around the park near my house, scream. Talking shit to Ruby for nine hours straight.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love that.

[Sarah Sherman]

And then someone will be like, oh, my God, I saw you in the park. Park the other day, but you were on the phone. I was like, so everyone can hear everything I'm saying constantly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Everyone knows about the boil on your ass or whatever. Whatever you were discussing.

[Sarah Sherman]

I did think I had a staph infection because I had a pimple on my ass. So Big that it hurt when I sat down. And then Jack Benzinger was like, he. He knows that I can be like a paranoiac or whatever. And so he was like, it could be a staph infection. Of course, then I. Like, right now I'm convinced that I have a blood infection because my infected hang now.

[Stavros Halkias]

A blood infection?

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, because it's good. It's infected and it's going to travel to my brain.

[Stavros Halkias]

I get infected hangnails all the time, and I'm one of the smartest people on earth.

[Sarah Sherman]

It's because we're so. We have so many. We're so smart. We have so many ideas percolating in our head that we're like picking as an idol activity because we're, like, buzzing.

[Stavros Halkias]

So true. I have so many awesome ideas. I won't get into them, but I have them. But I'm. I'm a biter. That happens. You ever. You ever. You got to throw a little. What's the antibiotic? Gotta throw some Neosporin on that.

[Sarah Sherman]

You know what? I've been waking up in the morning, and this is interesting. With bloody scratches all over my legs.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's ghost. That's. You're haunted?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Sarah Sherman]

My therapist says it's like.

[Ben O'Brien]

No, it's an entity.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, that would be interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you think they're from? Do you have a pet?

[Sarah Sherman]

Night terrors.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you scratch yourself with night terrors. Wow.

[Sarah Sherman]

And maybe, like, I'm itchy or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, it could be, but I never.

[Sarah Sherman]

I probably. You think my body is possessed?

[Ben O'Brien]

I think that that's. That's one very good sign of possession is waking up with scratches on your body.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting. What are some other classic.

[Sarah Sherman]

Head turning 360.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that's too on the nose. But what if.

[Ben O'Brien]

Well, I don't want to say, but getting creeped out by a crucifix. So just chill up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Two. Two extremely strong bullet points.

[Sarah Sherman]

Have you guys ever had a haunting?

[Stavros Halkias]

I've never experienced? I mean, I've been creeped out. Yeah, I've been creeped out, but I've never been scared.

[Sarah Sherman]

I've seen Ben in a wig.

[Ben O'Brien]

I ran up the stairs in the dark.

[Stavros Halkias]

See if you can pull up while we're talking. See if you can pull up a picture of Ben in a wig. It is awesome. But I. In New Orleans, I felt. Well. And I don't know if that's because. I don't know if that's because Ben O'Brien with hair. Not enough people know who the Ben.

[Sarah Sherman]

O'Brien hairstylist I mean, that's an awesome.

[Ben O'Brien]

There's a lot of Brians in the.

[Stavros Halkias]

World, and that is true. God. Oh, look how many.

[Sarah Sherman]

It says Ben O'Brien, actor. Ben O'Brien, comedian.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm on Wikipedia because the psychopath put me on there.

[Sarah Sherman]

That's okay. You're allowed to have one.

[Ben O'Brien]

No, but I'm just saying. A. Psych.

[Sarah Sherman]

Creative development. Ben O'Brien. Let's go.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you have any pictures?

[Ben O'Brien]

Oh, there will be. Yes, there will be, actually, if you. Oh, if you search. Cry of man.

[Stavros Halkias]

There we go.

[Sarah Sherman]

Wait, you have hair in that when you.

[Ben O'Brien]

I just have a fake beard in that one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Anyway, what was I just discussing?

[Sarah Sherman]

New Orleans.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah, there is.

[Ben O'Brien]

Goes right back to my website. Hilarious.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah, there he is, Ben. Yeah, and that's not even a good wig. He didn't even know it was you. There's one where you have a blonde wig.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, my God. You look like Italian Ben.

[Ben O'Brien]

You gotta get plugs.

[Stavros Halkias]

The company will pay for plugs.

[Ben O'Brien]

All right.

[Sarah Sherman]

Can you get plugs if you're going from nothing like he has?

[Stavros Halkias]

I think so.

[Ben O'Brien]

I do feel. I do feel like a very proud bald. Bald person. And I like to kind of try to act as kind of an inspirational story for other bald people.

[Sarah Sherman]

Why, if you're bald, are you only bald on your head? Not everywhere else.

[Stavros Halkias]

Great question. You think everyone would. Should have al.

[Sarah Sherman]

Like I. It's like you go bald, but do your. You know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pubes.

[Sarah Sherman]

Pubes bald?

[Stavros Halkias]

No.

[Sarah Sherman]

Do you have a receding pube line?

[Stavros Halkias]

I think there's something about the head that's special. But you're right, that is cruel. Right. It would just be the own. The hair that you see.

[Sarah Sherman]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Why is there no pube baldness?

[Sarah Sherman]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

That might even be nice. Less upkeep.

[Sarah Sherman]

You know what? I actually, this is, you know, ties back to the haunting conversation.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, and let's get back to that.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, please.

[Stavros Halkias]

I do want to.

[Sarah Sherman]

I have way more gray pubes than I do have gray hairs on my head. Like, the ratio was off. And it made me feel like my vagina was haunted because Kesha said that hers was.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's three.

[Stavros Halkias]

What did Kesha say?

[Sarah Sherman]

She said that her vagina was haunted or something interesting. And so then I was kind of like, oh, is that what's going on with me?

[Stavros Halkias]

Could be.

[Ben O'Brien]

You know what they say. One sign is a pro. Is me. Maybe two. Probably three.

[Stavros Halkias]

Definitely for sure. So you think gray hair.

[Ben O'Brien]

Avoidant of the Christian cross and the ideology and waking up with scratches.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know she's definitely demonic.

[Ben O'Brien]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do. Have you. Have you come across any hauntings?

[Ben O'Brien]

Have you ever anything other than come across any hauntings?

[Sarah Sherman]

No, but sometimes my dreams do tell. Graph the future.

[Ben O'Brien]

Sarah is an empath.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, but you don't actually think you've seen the future in your dreams, do you? No, but, like, give us an example.

[Sarah Sherman]

Like, I dreamt that I had $20 in a pocket of a coat, and then I. No. You know what? No.

[Stavros Halkias]

You found 20.

[Sarah Sherman]

Guess what? I'm not putting myself in this position.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm not ready. I mean, I think we can know what happened.

[Sarah Sherman]

I'm not putting my unconscious on the humiliation block for all.

[Stavros Halkias]

All y'all. Something just special. Your telepathic abilities are just for you or.

[Sarah Sherman]

Just listen.

[Ben O'Brien]

I 100 believe in your telepathic abilities. I just want that to be known.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't.

[Sarah Sherman]

And thank you for this.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't.

[Sarah Sherman]

Well, because he knows my chart. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, here we go. This isn't the cheek zone.

[Ben O'Brien]

This is how you didn't want to talk about. We'll keep that right. Special Patreon only.

[Stavros Halkias]

Listen, come back to the cheek zone. We can go through your chart and we can talk about. Yeah, we'll talk about your telepathic abilities behind the paywall.

[Ben O'Brien]

We gotta keep it.

[Stavros Halkias]

We won't clip it.

[Ben O'Brien]

We gotta keep it contained.

[Sarah Sherman]

Nothing sacred.

[Ben O'Brien]

No, I respect that. I respect that stuff.

[Sarah Sherman]

And I've been having a recurring nightmare that I am pooping in a prop toilet.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's an Arrested Development joke. Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

The.

[Ben O'Brien]

What's his name? Toby. Toby who is. No. David Crosses.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

Tobias.

[Stavros Halkias]

Tobias.

[Ben O'Brien]

He's pooping in a fake toilet and he can also flush it and it doesn't.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's. Isn't that also. Didn't they do that as a sketch in Jackass where they.

[Sarah Sherman]

In the Hippo Hardware toilet? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, mine is like I In the prop toilet on the set. On. On like in the studio floor of snl. It's like the main stage. Sure, there's a prop toilet in there. I it. And everybody's like, dude, you knew that it's real years.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, it's not real.

[Sarah Sherman]

And I'm just saying, like, I don't know how this happened.

[Stavros Halkias]

So sorry. I don't know what the. I blacked out. I was. And it was too late. When I came to the. Was already in the toilet. I'm so, so sorry.

[Sarah Sherman]

It's happening a lot lately.

[Stavros Halkias]

I've been really.

[Sarah Sherman]

It's really recurring.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you Think that's about.

[Sarah Sherman]

I think it's about. I mean, you want me again. It's nothing sacred.

[Stavros Halkias]

We can keep it for the paywall.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, no, I'll say it. I. You know, because, you know, express. That's like anal expression. So it's like I've been doing stuff on that stage on tv.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

And I'm like. You feel like the shame and embarrassment afterwards about putting yourself out there.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

So I've been putting my. I've been putting.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a metaphor for your work.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's dog, or I guess, human being.

[Ben O'Brien]

It's your being seen by others.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah. It's just vulnerable, you know, it's the vault. Vulnerable than people looking at your.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Sarah Sherman]

My God. I.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe your hole directly, but other than.

[Sarah Sherman]

That, there's something more. I would rather show you a picture of my poop before I show you my hole, which is barely a hole, by the way, at this point.

[Stavros Halkias]

More bragging. Yeah, it's a little hole. We get it. No, no.

[Sarah Sherman]

There's so many hemorrhoids. I wouldn't even call like a hole.

[Ben O'Brien]

Those are like stalactites and St. Mite.

[Sarah Sherman]

It's a cave opening. Here. Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

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[Sarah Sherman]

We've had a lot of problems in the garage.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah, because that little toilet.

[Ben O'Brien]

Because there was.

[Stavros Halkias]

I remember that little toilet.

[Ben O'Brien]

There was a weird. Like, you had to crawl under the house to get to this weird toilet that we weren't supposed to.

[Stavros Halkias]

That. It was also technically your neighbor's property.

[Ben O'Brien]

It was our. It was our landlord's area. She didn't want us using it, but we were like, we're gonna go upstairs every, Like. Yeah, it was really annoying.

[Sarah Sherman]

And we basically. You had a crawl on your hands and knees to go.

[Stavros Halkias]

I remember I was like, walk through.

[Ben O'Brien]

The floors and stuff and go in there.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it fel. Like a hobo's toilet.

[Ben O'Brien]

Oh, fuck, yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

What?

[Ben O'Brien]

Do you know that, like, coffee replacement called?

[Stavros Halkias]

Not really, though.

[Ben O'Brien]

I was trying.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that mushroom shit.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, I think it's called, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, free whatever, but a lion's mane. Mushrooms.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, it's like mushrooms and whatever. And chocolate. And I was. Chocolate, like, cocoa, you know, I was trying to get off caffeine, trying to use that. But it has chai powder in it. And for some people, apparently me as well, it gives you incredible diarrhea. Oh, and I fully shit my pants. Sitting at the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, emptied your bowels?

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, fully. And I just, like.

[Sarah Sherman]

He was sitting at his. I wasn't even like, oh, I'm on the train and I have to go. Sh.

[Ben O'Brien]

Oh, my God. I'm so.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're just, like, typing and you're like, huh.

[Ben O'Brien]

Everything totally released. And then I went into. And then I. You know, I took care of it. And then I just kind of, like, casually walked upstairs through everything in, like, the washer and dryer. And it just was like.

[Sarah Sherman]

And they texted me, don't come to the garage. Say, I.

[Ben O'Brien]

Can'T. What would have happened if I was just out of the house? Like, I was saying it was crazy. I always carry.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're on the bus.

[Ben O'Brien]

I carry a bag with me now. Like, it's in my trunk. You're a full change of clothes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, that's insane.

[Ben O'Brien]

Because once it happens. Once you're like.

[Stavros Halkias]

You had no warning whatsoever.

[Sarah Sherman]

There are people who I have met in my life. Every time I shit, it's an emergency. I have met people who are like, oh, you know, they're like, oh, I can't. Out of the house. And I'm like, I can't even imagine a reality in which that is true for.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right, right, right. Like, so there's been so many moments where you're like, yeah, of course I'd love to be in my home toilet, But I get hit with something unstoppable that needs to be addressed in the closest. What's the closest hole someone's dug into the ground? I will be squatting over it and taking care of business.

[Sarah Sherman]

Can you imagine, like, holding a. I.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don'T even think I physically. I know what you mean. I've weirdly been able to do it recently. And it's because I started, like, I don't know, it's all mental. Like, I've like, apparently, I don't know what. But I think it's only in specific circumstances for me because, like, it's happened when, like, I've been on stage and I've been like, really had to. And then it just like, disappears. And the second I'm like, all right, good night, everyone. It's like.

[Ben O'Brien]

And I'm like.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm like shoving eldest pass. I'm like. And I'm just so fast. And the same things happened. Like, I've never. I never thought I would act and so I never. But it's the same. Your brain does the same where it's like, if I have, like, I've. And there's so many snacks on a set and they bring you like a. They bring you so many. There's like, you know, a up. Cheesy breakfast burrito. I'll smash that. I'll have four uncrustables. I'll have a couple iced coffees. And then I'll be like, well, in any other universe, I am in 12 minutes from now. But I. This has happened on tires multiple times where I have eating disgust and there's a Wawa and a Wendy's right by where we shoot. I've supplemented some of our lunches there. I have put disgusting things in my body that normally would trigger the biggest shit avalanches of all time. And I've been constantly worried. Hasn't happened. And then the same thing happens. The second we get to, like, where the trailers are, I take one of the most fucked up shits in the universe in a little ass trailer. Like, my thighs, they're dry. They're dry. It's tough.

[Sarah Sherman]

No water neutralization.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's the best port. It's like the Best porta Potty toilet. But it's a personal porta Potty toilet. So you can handle that. I can handle that, but it is atrocious stuff.

[Sarah Sherman]

I have had to like you. And this is little peek behind the actors.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm basically James Lipton. Yeah. So where have you the most, Sarah?

[Sarah Sherman]

They do you do a thing where if you have to on a set, you're miked, so you say 101 that's peeing, or 102 is pooping, or 10 3, who knows?

[Stavros Halkias]

Jacking off.

[Sarah Sherman]

Jacking off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nodding. Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

And I have, like, literally just started unannounced sprinting off of a set, screaming into my shirt. Mike.

[Stavros Halkias]

10 2, 10 2.

[Sarah Sherman]

Otherwise then they'd be listening.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I never. I don't care at all about being Mike. That's such a good point. People have heard me share. People have heard me piss. I don't.

[Sarah Sherman]

I personally to. I think I want to say something, but it's.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't have to say it.

[Sarah Sherman]

It'll be.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your. What is it?

[Sarah Sherman]

I did a show where we had.

[Stavros Halkias]

Earpieces in and you can hear other people's.

[Sarah Sherman]

I. I heard someone pee, and I am still kind of. I. I'm pretty sure they heard me take a rancid diarrhea.

[Ben O'Brien]

Oh.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now when you heard them pee, could you hear them go like.

[Sarah Sherman]

I could hear.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or was it just the stream?

[Sarah Sherman]

I. I heard like, really pleasant, like, oh, hey. Oh, hey, how's it going? Oh, good to see you. Good to see you. And so I was like, I wasn't gonna say anything to the sound guy. Like, hey, turn this person's mic off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, whatever.

[Sarah Sherman]

And then kind of like they. I were talking in the bathroom really pleasantly, and then so I was totally like, so you.

[Stavros Halkias]

So basically what I'm trying to figure out is it was you. They heard your grunts. It wasn't just the. It wasn't just the hitting the bowl. They heard like, ah. They heard that stuff. That's so much worse than the splash of the shit.

[Sarah Sherman]

I shit like a bro. I can.

[Stavros Halkias]

I can shit like you're in there like an assassin. You take diarrhea the way John Wick kills a henchman. It's just like silencer. No one knows it's over before. Straight to the head. Yeah. It's not like a passionate. Like most people, they have diarrhea. It's a problem. They're like, oh, but for you, you know, you've been there before.

[Sarah Sherman]

What is this, a day that ends in wine?

[Stavros Halkias]

You get a little more Fiber in your diet, buddy. That's what it sounds like.

[Sarah Sherman]

You say what you. Oh, fiber. Oh, Sarah, be. Have a less stressful drink. It's. Listen, it's Judaism. It's a disease.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's who you are.

[Sarah Sherman]

This is what I am. I get that you could do is going to. You don't think I've been down this?

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't think you really have. Honestly, I. I actually don't. I think you've accepted it. I think you've accepted that you're a person that must live with diarrhea.

[Sarah Sherman]

I've had.

[Stavros Halkias]

You haven't really taken true steps to fix it.

[Sarah Sherman]

I have had tubes shoved down my throat. Tubes shoved up my ass. I've been in. I'm in psychoanalysis three times a week.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which is too much, by the way. One will cut it, of course. Whatever they're doing those extra two sessions, that's definitely not working.

[Sarah Sherman]

But I'm figuring out that the toilet thing is, you know, a symbol for something else.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's good. That's good. You could have figured that on what do my Dreams mean Dot com.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm just listening.

[Stavros Halkias]

Three a week is nuts. And I believe in therapy.

[Sarah Sherman]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

We talked about this last time, I think, where I told you to stop doing it three times a week.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, I have a different therapist, I think, though.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, cool.

[Ben O'Brien]

This therapist. So she. So the first two are the same therapist, and then the third one is a new therapist to kind of talk about the sessions with the other therapist.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Sarah Sherman]

That's why you guys have me on annually.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

Three is self indulgent. Three a week.

[Sarah Sherman]

Well, because I'm. It's my week off when I'm working. It's two.

[Ben O'Brien]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're doing one of the most stressful TV shows in the history of why.

[Sarah Sherman]

You have to go to therapy twice, though.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have time, girl. You have time.

[Sarah Sherman]

Does he want to hear about it on the phone? No, that's why I pay a guy with beard who's in love with me, by the way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah. I'm sure that's how he feels.

[Ben O'Brien]

You know the whole thing with therapists, right?

[Sarah Sherman]

It's like they're in love with. They are in love with me.

[Ben O'Brien]

Once you develop your dynamic with the therapist, that's actually the thing you have to work through. No, we're good with the therapist. We're good because that's actually your, like, way that you project and it's interesting, like represent.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you think everyone's in love with you?

[Sarah Sherman]

Of course. I told you, I'm A pog.

[Stavros Halkias]

What was the. You mentioned Judaism. What was your bar mitzvah? What was your bat mitzvah? Look, did you get to go crazy on that?

[Sarah Sherman]

It was April 4th day, of course. So my theme was being hilarious.

[Stavros Halkias]

You had an April Fool's day. Incredible. Did everybody have to sit on whoopee cushions?

[Sarah Sherman]

The invitations were snakes in a can that I delivered to their house.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's actually awesome.

[Sarah Sherman]

It's awesome. Except if you were old, we didn't want to give anyone a heart attack. Of course. And then like, you know, during the bat Mitzvah service, you like get up on the stage and you're like, whatever. And I would like it.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're crushing.

[Ben O'Brien]

You were doing a roasting.

[Sarah Sherman]

Everyone, they had a. Like, there's like a part of it. Because I went to like a Conservative synagogue and they do like all this. It's like a 12 hour service. So I was like, gotta give them.

[Stavros Halkias]

A show, gotta liven this up. And they're like, so this is during the service, not after?

[Sarah Sherman]

No, this is in the conservative synagogue temple.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're in the little pulpit reading, reading from the book or whatever and you get, you know.

[Sarah Sherman]

And I just remember they go like this sisterhood of like Jerusalem would like to present you with these candlesticks, blah, blah. And I go, yeah, just what I always wanted.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's awesome.

[Sarah Sherman]

Nailed it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did he get a laugh?

[Sarah Sherman]

Dude, I destroyed.

[Stavros Halkias]

I crushed. You've been chasing that ever since, huh?

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

100 billion percent. That's a great one. I have to give you that. That's insane. Like you're 13 and you had that, that idea of presentation. The snakes in the can. What about the outfit?

[Sarah Sherman]

Did you mention that Betsy Johnson, head to toe shoes match the belt. Little tiny Jew fro braces with the rubber bands matching my dress. Yo, my party was a karaoke party. I sang Roxanne by the Police because I was like, damn. It's about a prostitute himself.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm edgy and cool, dude, I. That, that's awesome.

[Sarah Sherman]

All n could be friends with me when I was 13.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, right.

[Sarah Sherman]

I was a beast.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, right. You don't think I went to a couple bar mitzvahs and bought mitzvahs.

[Sarah Sherman]

Did you tear it up like I did?

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on. I was. Honestly, I was like this. I was in awe of what a great scam it was. Cuz like they, my friends made so much money and the spread was great. Great. I was comparing it to like. And I was like. I was like, what? And because Greek people basically that's, it's a baptism. Essentially. You guys just get your baptism later.

[Sarah Sherman]

When you get to experience.

[Stavros Halkias]

We get to actually experience it. And like, I was like. Because I was go. That was, you know, I was going to a bunch of baptisms. I was like, I like, these, these are fun. But they would have been so much more fun if I was like, like my own baptism. I didn't get the. And the spread was great. I remember every bar mitzvah I went to, it was like, they went all the out. It was. Because it is like a, it's kind of like a parent dick measuring contest, right? You can't. It's so like, you get like the, like, I remember like, there's like a carving station with, like, filet mignon and like the. We were in, like, the nicest place I'd ever been. Like, they're renting out these great halls and stuff like that. And I was like, these, dude.

[Sarah Sherman]

Leonard Palazzo on Northern Northern in Great Neck was home to the most amazing bar mitzvahs you've ever seen. And it is the, you know, it's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, wow, Northern Boulevard. It runs all the way to Astoria.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yes, ma'am.

[Stavros Halkias]

Same Northern Boulevard.

[Sarah Sherman]

Visit my parents.

[Stavros Halkias]

We could take it right now, I guess.

[Sarah Sherman]

It's a long island.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a long island.

[Sarah Sherman]

And I'm like, I'd been to so many bar mitzvahs at Leonard's that, you know, it's like gold, you know, gaudy staircases, big giant chandeliers that you could see from the street from Northern Boulevard, of course. And I'm like, when I, I, I was watching Sopranos and I go, I recognize that chandelier anywhere. At Johnny Sax's daughter's wedding, Johnny was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where you had your bar mitzvah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Not my bar mitzvah where I had meant been to. I, I, I didn't get bar mitzvah under a big chandelier. I will say that my parents had.

[Stavros Halkias]

They were. I see, I see, I see, I see. But you had been to other millions.

[Sarah Sherman]

Billions. And I recognize those chandeliers. Anyway.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep.

[Sarah Sherman]

That Johnny Sex daughter's wedding.

[Stavros Halkias]

I remember that. It's a great. That's a classy joint.

[Sarah Sherman]

It's a classy joint. We got carpet everywhere.

[Stavros Halkias]

How far Google just so actually, I would like to know how far away we are from it. Whether we can host an event there at Leonard's. At Leonard's Palazzo. How far is it from A Story of Queens?

[Sarah Sherman]

There we go. 555 North. Oh, my God. I couldn't even say the number. Help. Help.

[Ben O'Brien]

It's okay. You're doing fine.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just go hit directions.

[Sarah Sherman]

Bro.

[Ben O'Brien]

Bro.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

And then put in the exact address of where we are.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just put a story of Queens, man.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, so they know where you live?

[Stavros Halkias]

They know it's aoria. Oh, dude, a half hour.

[Sarah Sherman]

We're there.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're basically there. Dude, we got to. We got to do something at London.

[Sarah Sherman]

That hospital is where I was born. Well, don't tell them.

[Stavros Halkias]

What does it matter?

[Sarah Sherman]

They going to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where they going to find your records. We can bleep it out. I don't give a.

[Sarah Sherman]

They found out I was born. Wait, go check out. Let me show you. You can see?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You didn't hatch from an egg.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, you can see. If you look at the picture of the building, you can see what I'm talking about seeing the chandelier from the street. If you go to the exterior or even just the Google image of the building.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you're blowing it. It's over. It's over. Elders, cut your losses. Keep it moving. Get out of the screen. Leonard's palazzo. And was that. Was Leonard a Jewish man who liked Italian culture? I don't know, because Leonard feels like a Jewish name, but palazzo.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, right.

[Stavros Halkias]

So obviously, you know, whoever he is.

[Sarah Sherman]

He'S the biggest celebrity to me in the world.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's just like covering all the Long island bases.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's true.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is absolutely true. Folks, the days are getting shorter. It's getting cold. It's the holidays. Things are getting tough. All right. It's a little harder. Your to do list ain't shrinking just because the sunlight is. Power through your busy days with factors. No prep, no mess, meals from breakfast to dinner and anything in between. Factor has easy nutritions options to keep you fueled and feeling your best. I'm pumped for this. I've been traveling so much. I've been leaning on factor, but I've been forgetting them at my place sometimes. I can't wait to finally be back home. I'm gonna be crushing some of these factor meals in Baltimore to try and get me back on track. I may have swayed a little bit. Okay. But when I'm done shooting tires, I'm done traveling to promote. Let's start a cult. And I'm ready to set up shop in Baltimore for the holidays and through January before my tour starts. And I'm gonna be crushing these factor meals. These are great. They're chef prepared and dietitian approved. You're going to love not only how Factor meals taste, but also how they support your goals. You want to avoid meat, you want to have calorie restrictions. Whatever it is, they got it. There's no sacrifice in quality for convenience with factor the weekly meals offer ways to treat yourself to a restaurant like meal experience with gourmet plus dishes that feature premium proteins and seasonal sides. I mean what are we talking here? Stay on your A game with these quality ingredients. Use your time more efficiently. So important during these dark months. Let factor take shopping, prepping, cooking and cleaning up off your daily list of things to do. Head to FactorMeals.com 50stavi and use code 50stavi to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's code 50stavi50s t a v [e-mail] 50stavi to get 50% OFF your first box plus free shipping while your subscription is active. What were the. Since it is of course, as we all know, December 9th. What. What were some like holiday traditions? Because if you said your conservative Jewish background. Any Christmas at all.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, it was.

[Stavros Halkias]

We weren't even allowed to acknowledge Jesus Birth.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yes. After we killed him out.

[Stavros Halkias]

I didn't want to say it. Wow. Who are you? The old ladies at my church growing up. Dude, I remember having to have that guy. We were like, you got to chill on that grandma. Like some lady bringing. I remember one time a friend brought a Jewish friend to an Easter and we had a friend who had like this crazy Easter and this decrepit woman was like a lot of nerve showing your face around like mad at this like 11 year old Jewish kid because of. She was like kind of classless move bringing a Jew to Easter when it's there. And we were like, all right, ladies. Exactly.

[Sarah Sherman]

You're welcome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. In some ways they said it in.

[Ben O'Brien]

More traditional that way to have some Jews there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

It was a traditionally accurate.

[Stavros Halkias]

The booing of the Jew on Easter Sunday.

[Sarah Sherman]

I have a question.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

He died. Came back to life behind the rock.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep. Totally pushed the rock. Nobody was there.

[Sarah Sherman]

Nobody was there. But then he rose. Whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the rising.

[Sarah Sherman]

That's the rising. But then how did he die again? He just zoomed up.

[Stavros Halkias]

He just went. He was just like, oh, he just went Super Saiyan up in heaven.

[Sarah Sherman]

He's he technically still alive?

[Ben O'Brien]

No, you get out of the thing. He looked around, he's like, fuck this shit. I'm just going up there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Here's what I think. And it's actually kind of sick. And this is what I stopped paying. I was an Altar boy. I should know this. But apparently in that time, legit. This is cool. He went to hell for like three days. And Satan up, I believe.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

For like that's what he was doing when he was dead. He was just fucking. And that's a cool. That's like, why doesn't Kevin Sorbo give us that movie?

[Ben O'Brien]

And then he came back just the white.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, basically. It's basically that story. I mean, isn't. Wasn't Tolkien the big Jesus guy? Yeah, but yeah, essentially that is what happens, I think. And so, yeah, I think he spends 40 days like teaching people after he died, like after he came back. And then he just super saiyans up and then he's like, Tom, that's where we get doubting Thomas. He's like, thomas, you. You see this? And Tom's like, nah, you aren't dead. Some. This is some voodoo or something. So anyway, that's. And that's important to know. Guys, Jesus birthday is coming up. We pretty much just told you what Christmas is. It's his birthday, it's his birthday.

[Sarah Sherman]

And Easter is his death. But then when is his resurrection?

[Ben O'Brien]

Resurrection?

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, but what is there a holiday?

[Stavros Halkias]

Friday is the day we day he dies and then Sunday he comes back and what's. Damn, you didn't know that?

[Ben O'Brien]

That's why it's not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dude, that was so awesome. We got to get off on Good Friday. And like my parent. Your parents would write your note. I think it was again, a little jealousy of how many holidays Jews got. Because you guys, it was like, what the. They're gone. All my friends would be gone, like starving. Yeah, you guys got so many extra holidays. And then my mom would write me a note and like I. The first year I pretended to be so sad. I was like, dude, today's when Jesus died. And I pretended to be sad to.

[Ben O'Brien]

Be disturbed by it. So awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was pretending to be sad. And then like the next year I was just fully playing Madden all day. It was one year where I was like, I hope, like. And it was more like if Jesus is watching me, right? I got to pretend to be sad. He can't know I used his death as a way out. And then the next year I'm like, whatever, dude. He's.

[Ben O'Brien]

That reminds me of when I found out that pink eye was like something you could stay home with, but it didn't make you feel bad. And so I got pink eye from.

[Stavros Halkias]

This kid because I wanted it on purpose.

[Sarah Sherman]

Wait, it does?

[Ben O'Brien]

And then I stayed home.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your eyes.

[Ben O'Brien]

But I didn't, it didn't me up at all. I just had a weird red eye and then I rubbed it into my other eye and got two days off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Ben O'Brien]

No, I just was like kissed.

[Stavros Halkias]

They kissed.

[Ben O'Brien]

Rub some of that in there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you like what? You went like this and like.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Took it from his eye. That's hilarious.

[Sarah Sherman]

Dude, you're.

[Ben O'Brien]

I love staying home.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Sarah Sherman]

You self harmed.

[Ben O'Brien]

I guess I just felt like it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Was a mild self harm.

[Ben O'Brien]

I felt like it was a gimme kind of, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Watch your little prices. Right.

[Sarah Sherman]

I didn't want to miss school because I would miss like what was going on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Sarah Sherman]

Not even like in a. In a class pet way. I just like gossipy way, like the action.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course, of course. I know. I do know what you mean.

[Sarah Sherman]

And then like you're a kid. So a day is like an eternity. So it's like if I'm gone for a whole day, like everyone's going to forget.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Sarah Sherman]

Everyone. No one's going to care if I live.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, this is more, this is better than therapy. You're getting more done. You're getting more done here. Your need for constant attention.

[Ben O'Brien]

Your therapist. Like, I liked your sketches last night. Can you tell me more about.

[Stavros Halkias]

No.

[Sarah Sherman]

Legit. My, my therapist kind of said the other day, like, would it be helpful for us to discuss the pay wall?

[Stavros Halkias]

Pay wall, come back.

[Sarah Sherman]

He was like, do you think it'll be helpful for us to discuss the films of David Lynch?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh my. I mean, you're just paying this guy to be friends with him now. No, it wouldn't be. Let me answer that. No. Well, the fact that somebody asked that means you needing you therapist.

[Ben O'Brien]

Like, what. What's Sabrina Carpenter like and how do you feel about what she's.

[Sarah Sherman]

You know what's so interesting that you said that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Has been appearing in my dreams lately.

[Stavros Halkias]

You've been dreaming about Sabrina Carpenter?

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

In what ways? She's the first person to find you. Shit. Sabrina Carpenter comes out. She's like, she lowers herself down.

[Sarah Sherman]

This is paywall.

[Stavros Halkias]

Paywall. Okay. We can save for the paywall.

[Sarah Sherman]

This is lunchtime for lunch talk. This is lunch. Because it's been really just disturbing the way she's been appearing.

[Ben O'Brien]

Come back in Biblically accurate Sabrina Carpenter.

[Stavros Halkias]

The next time there's. Next time there's an SNL break, folks, we will be putting Sarah behind the paywall and discussing how Sarah or how Sabrina Carpenter appears to her in her dreams.

[Ben O'Brien]

Patreon numbers about.

[Sarah Sherman]

She's been Delivering a really important message. And I want you to know my unconscious. You are seen and you are heard, and the symbols are being delivered.

[Stavros Halkias]

God damn. All right, let's finish. Let's ask. Let's just talk about the holidays briefly. You said you weren't even allowed to entertain any Christmas adjacent.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, to the point where my dad. Dad works in the shmata business. Okay. We were in midtown Manhattan in the garment district. And I'm walking around, I'm like, you know, how old are you when you're this big?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

And, you know, I wanted to be a movie star. Of course. I wanted to be a big, famous comedian like Jerry Simon already.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow, Fascinating.

[Sarah Sherman]

And of course, I didn't know that.

[Stavros Halkias]

I didn't. I didn't have that yet.

[Sarah Sherman]

Well, you wanted to be like, I want to be Pikachu.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, No, I did want attention. Don't get me wrong.

[Ben O'Brien]

I was like, I want to be a Spice Girl.

[Stavros Halkias]

But no, no. I literally thought. Thought. I've talked about this before on the show. When I was, like, a little kid, I was like, I'm. I'm the man. I was like, I'm so. I was like, I'm hot. I'm a good singer. Like, I thought I was going to be, like, a super. Like, I thought I was going to be, like, if Harry Styles was also the best actor in the world.

[Sarah Sherman]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

I thought I was sexy, dude. I thought I was going to grow up, be the hottest guy of all time. But I didn't. Comedy hadn't. See, I still had higher aspirations than comedy at four. So I'm actually worse than you.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, I was humble. I saw Seinfeld and I was like, that's it.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's me, period.

[Sarah Sherman]

I'll do that, no problem. That's the only option.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Sarah Sherman]

Walking down the street, midtown Manhattan, feeling myself, of course. Were you ever in New York City when you were a kid?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, not we. When we would take field trips with my church and we would literally come to Astoria. We would come to Astoria to go to the Greek grocery specialty store. We would buy CDs from the Greek CD shop, and they would. We would go to Manhattan. We would go to the Met to watch. To see the ancient Greek exhibit, and we would come back to Astoria. Like, we met. We. It was like a day trip. And we never, like, walked. We never saw, like, the statue of. We didn't do any of that.

[Sarah Sherman]

People are so crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was so funny. And that's why I moved here. It was the only neighborhood I knew, I was like, all right, well, I guess I'll go where I've been to four times.

[Sarah Sherman]

Right? But it was famous to you?

[Stavros Halkias]

It was famous. And then I. Later on, I did take. I took a really, like, important trip when I was, I think, 15, where it was just me and my friends on a Megabus. And we went to, like. We actually walked through New York. And I went with my friend who ended up. She used to live in this room. We moved together. We're still, like, you know, we. She was the first one to move to New York. Then Eldest, then me. But we took a trip where it was just us. We didn't do any Greek. We got barked into the Comic Strip. We went to, like, a 5pm show at the Comic Strip, where it's like eight people. And I was like, whoa, this is magic.

[Sarah Sherman]

I was like, so dark in here. People are drinking.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was awesome.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I was like, I'm gonna do. Maybe I was older than 15, actually, because I think I hadn't done stand up yet, but it was, like, really in my mind. And that almost solidified it for real. Like, walking around New York and going to the Comic Strip and like. Yeah. But anyways, what was.

[Sarah Sherman]

How old are you when you first did stand up?

[Stavros Halkias]

It was my freshman year at a, like, open mic in the basement of my dorm. So I was probably 18, 16.

[Sarah Sherman]

The Hog Pit NYC, a no longer existing barbecue restaurant. Because you could. You could do the mic. It wasn't a bar. Yeah, yeah, the restaurant. Game on. Nobody paying attention. I wore a bow tie.

[Ben O'Brien]

What was one of your jokes?

[Sarah Sherman]

Something about, they found my virginity on the or.

[Stavros Halkias]

No.

[Sarah Sherman]

Someone brought my virginity onto the air. Antiques Road Show.

[Stavros Halkias]

Even though you were like, 16, illegal.

[Sarah Sherman]

To have sex with me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You already were making jokes about you being an unfuckable old woman and you were 16.

[Sarah Sherman]

I said, like, I remember. What am I. What was it like? Oh, you feel bad that my. My parents have to live with me. I have to live with me forever.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, that's not a bad joke. Classic. Yeah. Yeah. That's a class A good one.

[Sarah Sherman]

I don't get no respect. No respect.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. That's good stuff. So you're walking down. You're little. You think you're Jerry Seinfeld.

[Sarah Sherman]

Dude. What? I'm not the. When you're strutting down in Midtown.

[Stavros Halkias]

I can't even imagine Midtown.

[Sarah Sherman]

And you're like, I'm like, two or whatever. I'm like, I'm the. Are you kidding? Me walking down the street, and one of my dad's friends who also worked in sh. Which is. It means rags and Yiddish garment. Whatever. My dad's friend, who also worked in, like, you know, making, like, little girls dresses for, like, Kmart or something. Something was like, oh, no. He made little girls dresses for Macy's. And he saw me walking down the street, and it was like, dude, your daughter's cute as she's got to be in our Christmas catalog. And my dad was like, no, no. And I was like, But I. Oh, my God. I heard. I saw the whole thing. My dad's like, you're not doing that. Because my dad was like, I'm not whoring you out.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

What he said was like, dude, it's a Christmas catalog.

[Stavros Halkias]

You kidding me?

[Sarah Sherman]

You're not.

[Stavros Halkias]

He appealed to your religiosity at 2 years old. But then I was like, please, please.

[Sarah Sherman]

I want to be a superstar.

[Stavros Halkias]

Whatever.

[Sarah Sherman]

They relented and let me do it. It was for, like, a brochure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

And I remember, oh, they.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're like orthopedic shoes for the homely girl in your life, for the homely toddler.

[Sarah Sherman]

They were like. They were like. So I begged my parents, let me do it. And they were like, fine, Fine. They relented. Whatever. I remember I had to get up at, like, 6 in the morning, go to the photo shoot. Hair, makeup. I'm feeling like a superstar. And they put me in a little Christmas dress, which is something I had never worn. So I felt like, yeah, dude, this is what it's like to be poofy. It. You feel like it's. It's like magic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

You're wearing this little cupcake dress.

[Stavros Halkias]

You feel like a.

[Ben O'Brien]

The high of being Christian.

[Stavros Halkias]

Never. You've been chasing that your whole life.

[Sarah Sherman]

A little. I thought, unbelievable. And then they plot me on the. At the base of a Christmas tree with a bunch of presents. I was like, wow.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Like Gl. Hollywood glamour. Lights, camera, whatever. I'm posing.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm going like, yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

With the little. And they had me with a teddy bear. Whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Uhhuh.

[Sarah Sherman]

Felt like a million bucks. I could actually cry. Think about how special I felt.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Every day, every weekend morning, I would tear open the brochures looking for myself. Looking for myself. Could never find the pictures. Never saw the pictures of me. Tree in a Macy's Christmas.

[Stavros Halkias]

You think you didn't make the cut?

[Sarah Sherman]

And I go, or you'd made it.

[Ben O'Brien]

Up, or you dreamed about it or came to you in a dream from.

[Sarah Sherman]

Like, seinfeld My, my.

[Stavros Halkias]

You open Sabrina Carpenter open in her mouth in a video of you doing that came out in your dream.

[Sarah Sherman]

And my dad goes, my dad goes, they didn't put you in the brochure because he said you look too Jewish.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh my God.

[Sarah Sherman]

Because he was trying to like, whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you think that was true or do you think he was trying to turn you against Christianity?

[Sarah Sherman]

Yes. Yes.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Holy.

[Sarah Sherman]

And then years later I like. And then, you know, I forgot about this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh my God.

[Sarah Sherman]

Years later, later I asked my parents.

[Stavros Halkias]

Incredible.

[Sarah Sherman]

I'm like 18. I'm remembering the first time I felt like a, like a movie star. I'm going, where are the pictures?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I have at least for myself.

[Sarah Sherman]

I need to see. My mom had the negatives. I'm looking at the pictures. Mind you, it was six in the morning when I took these pictures. I'm looking at the pictures, I'm like, I looked like shit. I was like, I like bags under my eyes. I was like so tired.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was like, do you have those anywhere?

[Sarah Sherman]

My parents will have them. But it's like they didn't use pictures.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because I, I looked like, you need those pictures. Are you kidding me? Please get those pictures.

[Sarah Sherman]

I'm like, and I didn't know how to smile. Cuz you know when you're really smiling, it doesn't look like a smile.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

And they just didn't use them cuz hair.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was, Sarah, we got to get those pictures.

[Sarah Sherman]

But my dad was like, yo, of course. My dad's like, you're a superstar.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Hollywood. But he's like, dude, you're too Jewish. And that's why we fight.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right? He could, he couldn't let you know that you just blew it. You were a little kid who blew it. That's okay. Your first taste of stardom. You weren't ready for the bright lights. You figured it out, buddy. That's incredible.

[Sarah Sherman]

I felt like such a movie star.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, next time, next time. I mean, you're doing it right now.

[Sarah Sherman]

Let me pee.

[Stavros Halkias]

Go pee.

[Sarah Sherman]

Let me pee.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ah, the holidays are here. You're spending time with your family. You're trying to take it easy. You're probably tired of talking to them. Yapping. Why don't you check out what our friends at game time have? See what kind of nice events you can go to. You know what I mean? Whether it's sports, music, theater. You don't have to hear your in laws yapping at you. You say, hmm, let's see what's playing? My mother in law. She likes fucking. She's a big Nick Cannon fan. Let's go to Wild N Out Live. Get tickets for as low as $97. Maybe we'll see the Nutcracker at the Hippodrome if you're in Baltimore. Hey, maybe I might go. I might take my mother out there. Who knows? Whatever it is, maybe I want to see a fucking ball game. Let's go see the Military Bowl. Navy and army are playing, I believe on Saturday, 28th. Yes. Mm. You get in there for 70 bucks. That's a fucking steal. What's beautiful about Game Time, they have all in pricing. Okay. You can tackle this feature on. You're not surprised by a bunch of fees. You know exactly what you're getting. Seat views. You get a panoramic view from your seat in the app before you buy. Lowest price guarantee or Game Time will credit you 110% of the difference and you have Game Time ticket coverage. Your purchase is covered with the most flexible customer service policy in the ticketing industry. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account and use code STAVI for 20 bucks off your first purchase terms. Apply again, create an account and redeem code ST A VV Y for $20 off download game Time today. What time is it? Game time. And we're back and we're ready to help the people with the wisdom that Sarah has accrued from maybe, I don't know, 4,000 therapy sessions in her life. How many do you think total? 10,000?

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, maybe a hundred thousand hours.

[Stavros Halkias]

Suck on that, Gladwell. This bitch is putting in 100,000 hours.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah. You've achieved mastery of being being going to therapy.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right. And we should say here also I should start doing this. It's already too late. We're gonna have to do like. We're gonna have to pre record shit for the episodes we already did. Eldest, but the Dreamboat tour is now out, folks. Buy tickets to it. They're going fast. We've probably already sold that.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, most of them are probably sold out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Probably already gone. The tour that starts in February, that's.

[Sarah Sherman]

Such a good name for a tour.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you. Wait till you see some of the art.

[Sarah Sherman]

Did you have anything to do?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, come on. Of course he did. Buy your tickets. Watch the movie. Let's start a cult. It's hopefully it's streaming somewhere by now. On December 9th. You could rent it already, VOD, but we're trying to get it on a Streamer anyway. And yeah, the tour is the important thing. Buy some tickets and new stuff. Nothing on the special, obviously, and that's it. And then, Sarah, anything you'd like to.

[Sarah Sherman]

Listen if I've got a show going on December 9, of course maybe there's gonna be future shows. Just go to it. I don't understand why you guys don't want to go. So many more people that want to not go to my show than go to my show. You know what I'm saying?

[Stavros Halkias]

I hate that. I hate that. I agree more.

[Sarah Sherman]

You're going to a city, you've got like, listen, listen, I'm. No, stop. I probably got like 300 seats in my theater, but more. There are more than 300 people in the city that I'm probably.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's true. And you can't. Yeah, that is true. I never think of it that way. There's probably like a hundred. There's at least like hundreds of thousands of people.

[Ben O'Brien]

When we struggle to get 50 people in New York City or something, I'd be like, there's 8 million.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. So crazy to think about that is really depressing.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, go see Sarah's show so she doesn't, you know.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, and Ben can attest. Not a bad show.

[Ben O'Brien]

Not a bad show.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good show. I have friends.

[Ben O'Brien]

Funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

I had friends come when you were in Baltimore.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, really?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

One of these most terrible.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a bad venue for comedy. When they told me where it was, I. It was almost like, I'm not gonna tell her. So she doesn't like, dread it the whole time. But I opened for Tig Notara there and I was so pumped back in the day, and it was so bad because no one's listening. It's for the ceilings are high as.

[Sarah Sherman]

The ceilings are high as. And they're made of like, aluminum siding. And it was a thunderstorm, so the rain was louder than on the roof. Was louder than me, which is basically impossible. Yeah, louder than me.

[Stavros Halkias]

So go see Sarah if she has dates coming up. We've already put them in the episode. Just do a little clicking and time to really help some people. Elvis, go ahead.

[Ben O'Brien]

Hey, Stav. Eldest guests. Audience, Got a quick question for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

About a sister in law of mine. Before I get to that, though, just wanted to real quick say it's an enormous pleasure to see your success unfold from the sidelines, you know, it seems very well deserved. Good job, man. It's awesome to see. I appreciate it. Anyway, my last. A bit of a show in 2024. Getting divorced divorced wife cheated on me.

[Ben O'Brien]

With my best friend.

[Stavros Halkias]

Kind of.

[Ben O'Brien]

I can't really get into it. It's all up in the courts and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh my God.

[Ben O'Brien]

Anyway, around the time it became public.

[Stavros Halkias]

Within like my family that we're getting.

[Ben O'Brien]

Divorced, my sister in law, she started.

[Stavros Halkias]

Showing up being like a real support and a friend. So, like we've developed this friendship, you know. One time we were her drinking, got a bit hammered.

[Ben O'Brien]

She confessed to me about some problems she's had in her marriage. Oh, she's married?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, no, she's married to the.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, she's married.

[Stavros Halkias]

And this is his ex's sister, I think.

[Sarah Sherman]

No, just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. You know, I kind of. We commiserated and it happened a few more times.

[Ben O'Brien]

Eventually she kind of confessed her feelings.

[Stavros Halkias]

For me to me.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm not gonna say I have like.

[Stavros Halkias]

No moral culpability here.

[Ben O'Brien]

I did.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, thank you. In one way or another. Tell her that, you know, under different circumstances, this is something that would maybe be interesting to me.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm being very generous to myself and how I'm relating.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, but anyway, I guess the question is what.

[Ben O'Brien]

What is like my moral responsibility to my brother here? I could either.

[Stavros Halkias]

I could give him a heads up like, hey, your fucking brother, dude. I thought this was his ex's sister. Which is like. I was about to be like, hey, man, it ain't the cleanest thing, but this would be pretty funny. You almost get a pass to fuck your ex who cheat you. You're going to do a worse thing. This isn't even your best friend. This is your brother, you fucking piece of shit.

[Sarah Sherman]

You got to pitch down his voice so he can't get traced. You got to go in a witness.

[Ben O'Brien]

We need him to get traced.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, my God. I guess let's face finish this. But Jesus Christ.

[Ben O'Brien]

The way I see it, I could either.

[Stavros Halkias]

I could give him a heads up like, hey, your wife's kind of, you.

[Ben O'Brien]

Know, behaving this way and. And definitely blow up their marriage.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or I could just kind of sit on the sidelines and maybe things work out. Jesus Christ, dude. You know, if I'm not, good God.

[Ben O'Brien]

Too receptive to the things that she says to me. I don't know, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're not too receptive. It's a bullshit situation.

[Ben O'Brien]

It's.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah, let me know what you think about that. Thanks, man. Again. Really pleased to see. Really nice. I know what you're doing. All right. It's become clear what he's doing buttered me up and then ended with a compliment because I was about to blow his ass up. And listen, as pleased as you are at my success, you're a piece of man. You cannot behave this way. It's your fucking brother's wife.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you out of your fucking mind?

[Sarah Sherman]

If any of you even thought of betraying my brother in this way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I don't know, but it depends how hot his wife is. To be honest with you, I wouldn't want to cuck your brother. But if his wife was really hot and she tried to fuck me, I can't. I can't promise I wouldn't.

[Sarah Sherman]

I just can't. Can I use the same math I was using earlier? About hundreds of millions of people, and in a city.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, you can.

[Sarah Sherman]

There are hundreds of millions, if not billions of trillions of people. And your brother's wife.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Doesn't count as hundreds of millions of people in the world that you can have sex with.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're out of your mind. And I also.

[Sarah Sherman]

I also think sacred.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love it too, because she's like, all right, is it time to flip on this bitch and rat her out to my brother? That's how he's looking at it. It's not like, should I be a good fucking person? Stop. First of all, you can't speak this woman ever again. I mean, what the.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah. Also gotta cut it off.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's also. She's complaining to you about her marriage.

[Ben O'Brien]

Who's your brother? Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Someone's talking. I mean, unless your brother's a piece of. You have a really bad relationship, but that doesn't really. Here's what it feels like. You're a weak, weak man.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're a weak little slug of a man who. Yes. Your life got up. And I'll give you that. I'll give you that. I can see why the initial conversation you were like, Hurt your wife completely you over. And you're at a very low point. Right. I am even willing to give you one mulligan for. Not immediately. Not even immediately cutting it off. Right? Not immediately being like, I'm willing to give you the fact that you're sad. You were date you. It kind of. But you knew what was going. Like, we all have been in these situations where it's somebody you really shouldn't. And there's a little. That adds a little. That sprinkles a little something to it. So you're like, well, we're just friends. We're going out to lunch. It's not a big deal. And, you know, you can feel it when you're in that snowball. Especially someone that doesn't get pussy. When you feel it happening, you're like, wait, something's off here. And then when it's. And then you, who you said it yourself, you're being a little generous. When you're like, oh, in a different circumstance maybe we. That's not what he said. He was like, ah, if you were my brother's wife, I'd you right here. Like you probably said that. You know what I mean, right? You're gotta get, you gotta stop this, bro. And yes, you have to look within yourself to how you will get absolution for your sins. I mean this is crazy.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm confused as to how they're spending so much time together alone. Like. Yeah. I mean they get in a fight and then she's like I'm gonna go hang with your brother all night.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is true.

[Ben O'Brien]

Like what's going on?

[Sarah Sherman]

Well, your brother's probably like, well that's my brother. There's no way anything could possibly be going on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I agree with you. But at the same time that is a missing piece here. I know you're making. There's no way could possibly go on. But it's like even if, like, even if I was having a really hard time, right. And I. One of my sister in law's like took me out to lunch and we talked it over. Right?

[Sarah Sherman]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

That'd be normal. Normal if we had lunch every day. That'd be weird. And even if it's like, even if there is nothing, even if you don't suspect anything like this level.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It would be weird to see your sister in law this much absent now. It'd be different if they're coming over as a couple and it's like, yeah, your are, your family is coming to support you. But like something is off in general.

[Ben O'Brien]

He's not saying he's planning on, he's not asking. I act on this. Right. He's just saying what do I do? But at the same time it's like even asking that question, it's like you.

[Stavros Halkias]

So I, I know what you do.

[Ben O'Brien]

Is like stop talking to her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Ben O'Brien]

Back away.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And yeah, dude, completely stop talking to her.

[Ben O'Brien]

It does sound, it does sound like theoretically he has like no plans of like following through and her. But even just. Yeah. I mean he's also being very weirdly particular about the way he's saying things.

[Stavros Halkias]

So he's giving himself.

[Ben O'Brien]

They could have done something and he didn't.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't think he's done anything. But I also. And I know that right now in this moment in time, he's like, well, obviously I'm not gonna. But pro. There's probably a moment in time where he was like, well, obviously I'd never tell her I have any feelings for her. That's weird. Like, this is the classic escalation thing. Yeah, I'm glad you came to us before anything crazy has happened.

[Ben O'Brien]

But yeah, it's like, he's like, should I not tell my brother and then just continue going on as it is? He's like staring at her tits when she's getting like potato salad at the fucking cookout or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

They have already, they're already in a very. This is like an emotional affair situation. They have already crossed a line. It's not a physical line, but this is incredibly up already. So yes, absolutely. Get out of here. Why? What is your relationship with your brother? Why are you closer to your sister in law?

[Sarah Sherman]

Do you think he should tell his brother? I think, I think you should.

[Stavros Halkias]

Go ahead.

[Sarah Sherman]

I don't. Don't say another goddamn word for the rest of your life. Yeah, put your hands up. Back away slowly. Join a convent can, guys, you can't say anything.

[Ben O'Brien]

Like, you can't clue your brother into this. Like, it. There's nothing you can do. You just have to let that play out.

[Sarah Sherman]

And even her dreams are going to be crazy for the rest of your life. I'll tell you that.

[Stavros Halkias]

And even if. Right, even if. Yeah, I mean, you're right. He really can't say because like, then his brother's like, well, how do you know? He's like, well, I've been kind of chatting with her. I've been talking to her for two hours a day on the phone. But like, I do feel like there is a possibility that the brother. This relationship is up. Like, we don't know, is the brother cheating on. Like, is how up is he? But even still, that is not your. This is your brother's wife. Brother. Hey, you're so right. Put. Put your gun down and just walk out. Surrender yourself. Put your hands behind your back and lay on the pavement.

[Ben O'Brien]

You're badging your gun.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And don't, don't you dare think about following up on this investigation without authority. So this is up. You got to get out of here. And like, I am wondering why aren't you close to your. Like, have you talked to your brother? What is your relationship with your brother? Yeah, have you guys talked at all? Like, what's going on here? I'm really, really confused. So, yeah, don't do this. Get the out of. Stop talking to her and maybe just talk to your brother about his marriage in general terms if you want to. But even still, I would say get the. Just get the out.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah. Just back away.

[Sarah Sherman]

Well, I want. It's like if his brother and her break up, then he doesn't get to have her in his life because now he has proximity to her because of his brother.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, she's got to be out of his life in any way, shape or form.

[Ben O'Brien]

You can't continue this. This is someone you can.

[Sarah Sherman]

If anyone disrespected my brother in this way.

[Ben O'Brien]

But it would be you.

[Stavros Halkias]

It would be you.

[Sarah Sherman]

But I'm just like. The thought of, like my brother being betrayed in any way brings me to tears.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, of course.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Imagine if you betrayed.

[Sarah Sherman]

I could never. I think you could never.

[Ben O'Brien]

If. I don't know if you sitting on some really good clown costumes he didn't want you to have.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're talking the most crisp bozo himself.

[Sarah Sherman]

Well, we talked about Jesus sacrifice when he pushed the rock away or whatever. I like Jesus would sacrifice the clown suits. That's how much I love my.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow, that's beautiful.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's incredible.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's beautiful. Maybe we'll convert you yet. That's what this whole podcast is about. Bringing you over to the light of the Lord. All right, well, yeah, that's crazy.

[Ben O'Brien]

And set a boundary. Say we can't talk.

[Stavros Halkias]

Get her the out of your life.

[Ben O'Brien]

Out of your life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Be like, this is weird. And you know what I would even say? Like, be prepared to cut a woman that. Who's behaving like that off. Be prepared for things to get messy. You might want to talk to your brother to get in front of the. Get in front of the story.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, you know what? Call the cops on her because adultery is illegal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. Couldn't you see something like this happening? Him being like, we can't talk anymore. And her going to her husband and being like, your brother's been trying to me for months.

[Ben O'Brien]

I mean, it depends on how n. Like, you know how.

[Stavros Halkias]

By the way, cuz the real answer here is you, like the actual good person, fess up to what you've done. Answer is stop this immediately. Tell your brother. Be like, dude, I don't know how the this happened happened. I was fucking sad because all this shit, I never did nothing. But we just. She. She's, you know, like. And be. Be honest.

[Ben O'Brien]

That whore was throwing herself at me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't absolve yourself of guilt, but that is the actual right thing to do. Is it the cleanest thing in the world? No, but that's probably how you should, like. I. It's hard for me to even fathom this because this is so. I would never even get close to.

[Sarah Sherman]

This is a brother podcast. Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

This is sanctity of brotherhood.

[Stavros Halkias]

We actually really love brotherhood in this. On this podcast for sure. Absolutely.

[Ben O'Brien]

Another. Another option is like, down the line, she cheats on her brother with someone else, and then the brother's like, oh, I can't believe it. How could this happen? And, you know, if he didn't come clean in the past, even though he wouldn't, like, really need to, even if he didn't do anything, he would. You would still feel a sense of like, guilt or you would be withholding some crucial detail in, you know, the downfall of their relationship or something. That would feel really bad.

[Sarah Sherman]

And it's not even like the betrayal that would feel as bad. It's like however much time you're still sinking into a relationship that isn't worth it is like the worst part.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

I mean, it's also like if you're. If you're this close to your brother's wife at this point and at the same time you're in courts with your ex wife who cheated on you with your best friend, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's crazy. Yeah. And it's like, who are you attracting? And. And like a huge missing piece, though, is the brother and what's going on here. Because if they're just a total train wreck, maybe forget about what I said and just back away. But if he's a good guy that you're scared.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Basically. Is going to have the exact same. It's like. It's like you just went through this.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Anyway, whatever. This guy.

[Ben O'Brien]

This guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thanks for being a fan though, you know, and thank you for.

[Sarah Sherman]

Seriously. Tickets for the Dream Tour.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

Hey, stop. Way to go on the success, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thanks, man.

[Ben O'Brien]

Really proud of you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Anyway, I'm doing something horrific. Well, time to. Hopefully. That's. You know, that's a pretty effed up question. Hopefully we're in for nothing. Too crazy. Oh, oh, wait a second. Holy. What's that? Oh, my God. Is it time for what? I think it. Is it time to. Is it time to. Holy shit. It's time to twist. Oh, it's the twisted tea. Keep it twisted. Motherfucking question of the week. Or whatever the. Or whatever the. Yep, that's right. Ah, twisted tea. Our Pals, over at Twisted Tea, we have a twisted question. Sir, I'm sure you love the delicious. I love twisted tea. Bleep out her. Just cover over her mouth and be like, I love twisted Tea. Blur out her finger. Now it's time. I guess we have a really twisted question to answer, don't we, elders?

[Ben O'Brien]

Absolutely.

[Stavros Halkias]

Brought to us by our friends over at Twisted Tea with one of the most refreshing beverages on the market right now. Keep it twisted. You gotta keep it twisted.

[Ben O'Brien]

The box has the same color scheme as Sarah's.

[Sarah Sherman]

Connect me.

[Ben O'Brien]

Anyway, thanks for planning accordingly, Sarah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you, Sarah. She's a huge fan. She's this kind of how she reacts to stuff. She's kind of playing hard to get with Twisted Tea. She loves it. If she hated, she'd be really complimentary of it.

[Sarah Sherman]

How am I being embroiled?

[Stavros Halkias]

What's the twisted mother effing question of the week. Elder this stabby. Hey, how you, man? I'm. I'm having a little bit of a hard time here.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm trying to figure out if I.

[Stavros Halkias]

Should be mad at my friend or not. I think he kind of, like, blindsided me and kind of just stole some of my thunder. For context, I. I'm proposing to my girl. I planned it.

[Ben O'Brien]

We.

[Stavros Halkias]

I had the ring all situated. I kind of kept him in the loop because his girlfriend is best friends with my girlfriend and I'm pretty good friends with him. We've known each other for almost four years now. Pretty much as long as I know my girlfriend because that's how I know him.

[Ben O'Brien]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Her girlfriend knows you know, her girlfriend, obviously dating my friend. Yep. So either way, I plan it. I told him. I find out yesterday that he just proposed to his girl and, you know, I'm all for it. I love. I love love. I'm happy that he gets pretty much married and all that stuff. I got upset because I think he.

[Ben O'Brien]

Should have told me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, you know, he's not obligated to tell me, but, you know, I confided in him. I told. I told him and his girlfriend when they were in the car together that I was where I'm proposing how I'm proposing. They have a kid. They're gonna. They. They. She knew all about the, like, him buying the ring. It literally just happened like on, like on Saturday or think. Because what happened was he was essentially bought it on Saturday and then he proposed Sunday. And then she, like, she's been with him with the whole time. Like the dynamic. Like, they stopped at the diamond, thought together. My thing Is this. I got two predicaments. I don't think he would have proposed unless I would have told him that I was proposing. So, like, almost like the clock started.

[Ben O'Brien]

Like, hey, listen, motherfucker.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, like she was telling him, yeah, you gotta. You know, we make this happen not despite us, but just because, you know, the time is at the end. Like, she expected a ring already, but two. I feel like he should have told me. Like, maybe I'm being like, I'm in. I feel like I'm entitled. But, you know, I agree with you. I feel like just a heads up would have been nice and respectful and I'm salty about it.

[Ben O'Brien]

So.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Should I just brush this off or should I be pissed? Annoyed. All that.

[Ben O'Brien]

All that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Anyways, love you guys. Thanks for your time. I've got you still, bro. I'm a huge, huge fan of you. And thanks. Hopefully. Well, that guy keep. That guy kept it too twisted. Keep it twisted. This guy, the other guy kept it much too twisted. There's a level of twisted you want to take it, and that's couple. Couple twisted teas at a barbecue. Maybe you're watching your favorite team play the big game. You want to keep it just twisted enough. This is much, much too twisted. This is a betrayal. For real. I actually believe this was a true betrayal.

[Ben O'Brien]

I. I absolutely think that He. He was like, I'm getting proposed. And then he got freaked out because he's got kids with his girlfriend.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep.

[Ben O'Brien]

And he's like, they can't get all this stuff. I kind of do think he stole the idea.

[Sarah Sherman]

I completely disagree. I think this has nothing to do with you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you out of your mind?

[Sarah Sherman]

You. He got married. Be happy or whatever. He got pre married. Has nothing to do with you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay? This guy, there was no proposal on the horizon. And the other thing is, he know is. Okay, so why didn't it come up? If I'm talking to eldest, Right. In a world where we're both dating somebody. Seriously. And I'm like, dude, I'm thinking about proposing. And if Eldis had it already locked and loaded, like, first of all, we would have already talked about it. Probably. But anyway, let's say whoever says it first. First. And the other guy already had a plan, he'd be like, dude, that's. I. That's awesome. I'm happy for you. I've actually been thinking about it. Here's what I've been like. It would have come up, that proposal. Or if eldest says to me, hey, I'm thinking about getting proposed and Then it makes me reflect, right? And I'm like, you know, what. What the am I doing? If he's doing it, I should do it. And I'm like, dude, you've inspired. I would literally be like, dude, honestly, you really inspired me. I think I'm gonna do it. I would let him figure his shit out. I wouldn't take the information and be like, hmm, I should propose. Not mention it. Not mention. And then right before he's about to sort of snake him with the proposal. Because let's also be honest, in a. In a, like, small friend group with not a lot going on. You're. You're the kid who didn't want to miss fucking school to miss some gossip. Gossip. You, the whole school. You think in a group, a friend group, that's probably what, 812 people a engagement. That's the guy.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's their best.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the tea of them.

[Ben O'Brien]

The women are private.

[Sarah Sherman]

It's private.

[Ben O'Brien]

The women are best friends. So they're, you know, they're talking about. It's a butterfly effect. Men end up in the doghouse once they haven't proposed. It's a race to a proposal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Ben O'Brien]

And. And you know, they're talking about it, obviously, and that's a situation. But now when he does it, it's going to seem like it's going to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Look like he copies.

[Ben O'Brien]

I did.

[Sarah Sherman]

Who cares?

[Stavros Halkias]

Not brothers. Oh, it's his friend. Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, you think you invented getting engaged? No. Everyone does it. No big deal. Nobody cares. Has nothing to do with you. My relationship with my boyfriend.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Sarah Sherman]

That's right.

[Ben O'Brien]

Of how many years? Of how many years?

[Sarah Sherman]

One million. I have a boyfriend. That's right. Thank you. People who look like this can have boyfriends together. We. It is a sacred, special planet that we exist on. And n. Exist on it. Okay? They have a separate thing. Has nothing to do with you.

[Ben O'Brien]

They're not in the culture. They don't come from that culture.

[Sarah Sherman]

Well, get a new culture.

[Ben O'Brien]

This happens to me all the time on the show. You can't answer these things from a perspective of like having gone to art school. You know what I mean? Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is a person that would date you. He's sums off with him. You know what I mean? Like, you guys have agreed on a certain things that most other human beings have no, you know, no faculties to deal with.

[Sarah Sherman]

But they. His faculties to deal. Would be easier if he lived in my universe where, like, getting engaged is like, whatever, okay?

[Stavros Halkias]

Take the engagement out of it. Right? Let's Say you were gonna plan your girlfriend an awesome party. And you're like, dude, I think she really deserves it. She really wants this. Can you. Can I get some. Can I bounce some ideas off you to plan this sick part party? And the guy's like, telling you, like, oh, and you think. He's like, yeah, get this kind of cake. Get the. And you. He even gets his girlfriend who knows your friend to be like, oh, her favorite drinks, or, you know what I mean? And you're like, that's awesome. Your plan's coming together. And then the week before, you're gonna plan a big surprise party for her. He plans a surprise. He steals. Take the engagement out of it. He's a copier, is the problem.

[Ben O'Brien]

Well, let's put this in.

[Sarah Sherman]

Let's put this in terms you can understand.

[Ben O'Brien]

End. You come up with a joke.

[Sarah Sherman]

Okay, no, not the same.

[Ben O'Brien]

You come up with a joke. You tell your friend, hey, I'm working on this new kind of material around this thing. You start telling them the joke, blah, blah, blah. They're like, oh, that's. That's pretty good. Whatever. And then the next day, you see them perform. They do. They do a joke of similar.

[Stavros Halkias]

How about this? You're turning to do a joke, and it's not. They didn't steal the joke, but you're like, I really want to have a take on this issue. Right?

[Ben O'Brien]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're like, I think it's about time. I think the. The zeitgeist can't wait for my take on whatever umbrellas, right? And you workshop your take, and he's helping you on the umbrella joke, and he's helping your stuff, right? And then right before you're going to go up on a show, he's before you, and he does a different umbrellas joke. It's not the same umbrella joke. It's totally his. Right? His take complete. Completely. But now he's brought up umbrella. And you were the first. You were like. Well, the. This was. I was the first person to bring this up.

[Ben O'Brien]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're right. Because your umbrella joke would be. The umbrella has a. And it's out of it.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, you're like, I'm gonna go to a party.

[Ben O'Brien]

You're like, I'm gonna go to this party dressed like a big pile of. You're talking about the costume.

[Stavros Halkias]

The right hue of green.

[Ben O'Brien]

That party and your friends dressed like a. Like. Like a gift. Gilded pieces.

[Sarah Sherman]

What happens between you and the woman you love has nothing to do with your ugly fart mouth.

[Ben O'Brien]

But they're best friends.

[Stavros Halkias]

So fucking wrong about this.

[Ben O'Brien]

I would agree with you if they weren't. If the women weren't best friends having.

[Sarah Sherman]

A moment where they were so fucking in love that he's like, I need to go buy a ring right now. His has nothing.

[Stavros Halkias]

But he should have sprung it on him. He should have sprung it on him. He's like, dude. Even afterwards you'd be like, he should be like, dude, I know it's crazy. It just this inspired. Like the fact that he didn't mention it is sneaky, sneaky behavior.

[Sarah Sherman]

You're all enmeshed in your homoerotic relationships with each other.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not about what no, it's about. It's about fucking up the surprise for your girlfriend. He took the thunder out of the thing and it's okay. If they had. If he had had a discussion with him, he'd be like, hey man, that's cool. I'm glad you guys are getting engage. I've been kind of playing this the whole time.

[Sarah Sherman]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Like that's up.

[Sarah Sherman]

You guys can think that. I think what's up is that you guys. He said, am I entitled for feeling upset? Yes. Guess what? Everyone gets engaged. Have fun. Everyone's engaged.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, so what should he do? All right, let's try and turn this constructive right? If he. Yeah, because you're wrong as it's crazy. Let's try and turn this constructive for right. What does he do now? Cuz I would be upset if a friend of mine did this to me. And how do you move forward?

[Sarah Sherman]

Congrats.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't say what the man the is that about? You don't have to ask him about that.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, sure, ask him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cuz now it's going to fester, right?

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And effectively guy stuff. Oh my God. Whatever you you're going to be, you're going to have a boyfriend until you're 80 years old.

[Ben O'Brien]

Super like.

[Stavros Halkias]

So who cares what you think about.

[Ben O'Brien]

Super bro Y though this is a really tight friend group. It's weird.

[Sarah Sherman]

Chapstick.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's weird. Go get chapstick. Good. We don't need you for this segment.

[Ben O'Brien]

Great.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. He was what now? So what do you do now, Ben? And then also effectively, what do you do with the engagement?

[Ben O'Brien]

Do you. I think you. I think you can talk to him about it if you let yourself cool down a little bit. Like, don't come in really whatever. But talk to him. You know, I mean be like this made me feel a little weird. Weird.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And you know what else? Here's what I think you should do. Give it a breather. Propose. And here's the other thing you can tell your girl when it's all said and done.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You'll be like. And because she's gonna believe you. You know what I mean? And be like, yeah. And be like, I wanted to do this and he snaked me. You know what I mean? Like. And that could be like a thing you talk about, but this shows the character of this man.

[Ben O'Brien]

Put it all in the b. The best man speech.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm.

[Ben O'Brien]

On the friend's part. It is absolutely foul play.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Ben O'Brien]

It is a snake move.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Ben O'Brien]

However, I'll go towards Sarah a little where it's like he can't. You can't really say to the friend, I think especially not like anytime soon. Maybe down the line you can open up about it, but it's like, you can't be like. Like, what the. Why. Why'd you get engaged? Because it really is like, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, you say, hey, man, how about a heads up? I've been telling. I've been talking to you about this.

[Ben O'Brien]

You can feel that way. I feel like it just. It just is not your place to even like be outwardly mad about that. Even though it is annoying and that guy is a prick for doing it.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's about your relationship to this guy, though. It's not even about the engagement thing. It's. He. He did a snake move to me. No matter what the context is. So now the other option is maybe this is already a friend of a girlfriend. Right? These. This is your. This is your boy in law. This is not your boy. You. This was. This guy's your friend. Due to. So maybe now you just realize I'm out on this guy. And maybe that's the answer. It just pegs him down 1. It takes him down one notch of French friendship for his betrayal. And maybe you just have to eat it. And maybe you just have to. And that's life. Sometimes you get. And you have to figure it out.

[Ben O'Brien]

The reason I don't agree is because if I were the guy who did the sudden proposal, I would know. I would feel weird about doing it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Ben O'Brien]

Because there's something a little just not right. It's like a. It. There is something that's not quite right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It's too twisted, wouldn't you say?

[Sarah Sherman]

It's speaking Greek to me. So crazy. Why would you care? Who cares?

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't get it. That's crazy. You don't even see the reason the guy would be mad.

[Sarah Sherman]

I. I do. But I think you're stupid.

[Ben O'Brien]

You're one of the most people. Easy people I've ever met to make paranoid about anything.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so true.

[Sarah Sherman]

Like you.

[Ben O'Brien]

Would you glom onto something like this?

[Stavros Halkias]

For sure?

[Sarah Sherman]

No. What happens between me and my boyfriend is private.

[Stavros Halkias]

But that's not what that. But that's not what it is he.

[Ben O'Brien]

But you gotta have a best friend couple. Couple, you know.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, yeah. All my best.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yes, I do like that you. That you. You're best friends with her and he's best friends with the guy.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah. Right.

[Ben O'Brien]

And like.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah. Because I don't live in.

[Ben O'Brien]

Also, you're like an alternative person who.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, it doesn't matter. Sarah. Whatever Sarah thinks on this doesn't matter.

[Ben O'Brien]

I think ultimately there is a proposal butterfly effect. Always within the friend groups. There's always going to be winners and losers of proposals. I agree with a friend couple who's waiting for a proposal.

[Stavros Halkias]

And he snaked you. And he snaked.

[Ben O'Brien]

He did snake you. And the caller has a right to harbor bitterness for as long as he wants. But it's like.

[Sarah Sherman]

Right?

[Ben O'Brien]

It's like you can't project that out and be like. I don't know. I just feel like you can't really say because you just look like a hater hating on like an engagement. No, but that's another way that he's getting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. Not only is this guy you, he's painted you into a corner.

[Ben O'Brien]

I agree. Now you have to be like, gray, I'm so happy for you. And actually you're upset and you. And now I agree. But I think. I think this guy just needs to regroup. All you need is like, you're right. Two months, three months, you're good for the proposal.

[Stavros Halkias]

And blow his proposal out of the water. That's what you channel this into. Blow his out of the water. And you're right. You're just asking us if you're entitled to feel this way. You absolutely are. Ignore Sarah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Boring.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is not the call. This is not the person you want giving you counsel on anything. And so you're entitled to feel this way if. If you're pissed and then put all that energy into blowing it out of the water. And yes, he did. You just know that we agree with you.

[Ben O'Brien]

And hopefully one day you and your buddy can enjoy some twisted teas.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe you reconcile.

[Ben O'Brien]

Years. Years. Years.

[Stavros Halkias]

Years down the line, you reconcile.

[Ben O'Brien]

You and your fiance.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have some Del. Yeah. In the meantime, crack open a delicious twisted tea brewed with real Iced tea money. Don't know that. 5% by volume. Volume. Get you a nice little time. And you know what you're going to want to do, my friend? Open up this twisted tea and then keep it twisted. Good luck out there.

[Sarah Sherman]

Temperature box of tea.

[Stavros Halkias]

He could have it any temperature he likes. It's that delicious. All right, well that was the twisted tea twisted ass question of the week. Now what other questions do we have that are non sponsored?

[Ben O'Brien]

Time for one.

[Stavros Halkias]

What are we doing just for the. What are we doing just for the love of the game.

[Sarah Sherman]

Can you guys edit out my stomach?

[Stavros Halkias]

What's up? What's up?

[Ben O'Brien]

I was just wondering your opinion on.

[Stavros Halkias]

What I should do coming up on the holiday season. My girlfriend is really into Christmas.

[Ben O'Brien]

She wants me to go to all of her dinners and hang out and all of that jazz. My problem is that, that. Well, last month my mom died. So kind of feeling anti Christmas.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Ben O'Brien]

Like it's just me, my dad and.

[Stavros Halkias]

My brother were just three sad dudes.

[Ben O'Brien]

Probably gonna drink and like, Jesus, have.

[Stavros Halkias]

A pretty shitty Christmas. So bro, how do I tell her that, like I'm really not interested in.

[Ben O'Brien]

Going to any of these events. I'm really not interested in like putting.

[Stavros Halkias]

On the boyfriend mask for like first.

[Ben O'Brien]

Christmas right before I that happen.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course. So I'm kind of like caught in.

[Ben O'Brien]

Between not wanting to piss her off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Piss her off. You want to mourn your mother's death.

[Ben O'Brien]

Just, you know, hide and drink at the same time.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's right. Yeah. This is.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just not sure exactly how I should approach this.

[Ben O'Brien]

I've already told her that I'm not really that interested.

[Stavros Halkias]

But based on the conversations her telling.

[Ben O'Brien]

Me about like things that are planned and events coming up, I'm really just like cringing and I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

We've been dating for five years, so I can't just ghost over Christmas. But I mean. Anyways, let me know what you guys.

[Ben O'Brien]

Think I should do and yeah, thanks a lot. Happy holidays, boys.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, no, I might not look like one. I think if I think your girlfriend's not a very good looking listener.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean that's. I totally agree with you. I mean this is just so, you know, and this is good to just like have someone to. Sometimes people just need to bounce and don't you have friends in your life to bounce the off of? I guess not. But this is insane on her part. Yeah, she is. I can't imagine somebody being more in the wrong. Now, is it possible that you want to retreat a little too much? Might it be good to go to one thing that's easy. Like maybe not an intimate dinner where you have to have constant conversation with like the same six people of her friends, but maybe a nice holiday party where it's just. You keep it really surface level and it'll stop you from being just in your house to get totally fucked up. Like I think, I think maybe you're clearly. You need to take as much time as you. I mean your mom just passed away. It's your first holidays without her. It just happened. You want to be close to your brother and your dad. That's all super understandable. And so she should understand that. On the flip side, maybe just to just for yourself even not even just to appease her, it would be nice to do a little light hearted Christmas stuff again. Nothing too intense. Nothing where it's like you might like fucking break down and cry by talking to her best friend. You know what I mean?

[Ben O'Brien]

I can imagine going to her family stuff would probably, probably feel bad, you know, being around like family.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Whatever it is for him. Right. Maybe it's like, maybe it's a close knit friend group where they're just so open and you don't want to get into your emotional stuff. Like whatever it is.

[Ben O'Brien]

His girlfriend's like, here, Mom, I made us a scrapbook of precious memories of you and I together. And the mom's like, oh, this is beautiful.

[Stavros Halkias]

This beautiful. Let's all sit down and watch pore over every single picture together.

[Ben O'Brien]

This guy gets like a sweater or something.

[Sarah Sherman]

It's odd that you've been telegraphing, not wanting to go to your girlfriend and she's still kind of pressing the issue. But I agree this is coming from an anti Christmas household. Christmas, you're welcome for Christmas.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. No, you didn't do that. You did Easter, remember?

[Sarah Sherman]

Right. What was Christmas again?

[Stavros Halkias]

He's a born.

[Sarah Sherman]

I had nothing to do with Easter.

[Ben O'Brien]

Is reborn Easter.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's reborn. Despite your best effort.

[Ben O'Brien]

Your ass.

[Sarah Sherman]

He did.

[Stavros Halkias]

Also. You know what? I will say everyone gets on the Jewish people. Italians. Actually it's Pontius Pilate. Sure, you snitched, but Pontius is the one who sentenced him to death.

[Ben O'Brien]

Of course a Greek would say it's the Italian.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is the Italians who took everything from us. You're nothing without us Romans. You pieces of. Anyway, Italians, Jews.

[Sarah Sherman]

A parallelogram is not always a square or whatever. What do they say? A rectangle is not a cube. What am I trying to say?

[Stavros Halkias]

It doesn't matter. I don't, I don't and it doesn't matter. So I. I really do want to say, like, it's secondary for you to do some Christmas stuff. The first thing that I am worried about is like, yeah, what the hell is in her mind where she's like, get over it. You're like, that's really crazy.

[Ben O'Brien]

She said that?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, I'm just saying she also might.

[Ben O'Brien]

Be really afraid of conflict. Conflict or.

[Stavros Halkias]

And yeah, not talking about it might.

[Ben O'Brien]

Not all be on her.

[Sarah Sherman]

He said that he doesn't want to do Christmas. And he say that?

[Ben O'Brien]

No, but I just mean, like, how is he. We're kind of saying, oh, she must be like a nightmare. But maybe he's just really bad at conflict or, I mean, if you're someone's girlfriend, too, a natural instinct is like, oh, your mom just died. I just really need to, like, be with him for the holidays. Need to surround him with people. So it's not like. I'm sure she's not like, oh, yeah, we're going to go on a go.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. She might be trying to help. Is misreading what.

[Sarah Sherman]

I liked your advice, too, of being like, maybe it would be nice for you to get out of the house and not be drinking with your brother.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Not constant. Like, don't go to everything. Don't overwhelm yourself. And look, you just might be sad. Right. Like, morning is long. It takes forever for some people. And especially when it's like your mom and. You see, you sound like a relatively young guy. I mean, I don't know how old you are, but either way, it's tough to lose a parent, even if they're super old. It's not like it gets. It's not the easiest thing in the world. So this is tough. It's a tough thing to mourn, and you have to do it your way. And Ben, you might be right, too. Like, have you presented this the right way to your girl?

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, maybe she. To give her the benefit of doubt. Maybe she's trying to keep you busy, keep your mind off it. And I think somewhere there's a happy medium of, like, skip stuff. That sounds like a lot. Right. You also have a pretty ironclad get out of something lame card.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's what. That's what, that's what I'm saying. If I ever die, I want. I think of that as like a card that people can use to get.

[Sarah Sherman]

Out of anything for one.

[Ben O'Brien]

And I want everybody.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

When I die, at least use it as much as possible and get out of as much as possible.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

That's absolutely.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

But I think he could just set up some boundaries and say, like, for the next few months, like, I just need to make those decisions, like, closer to the date. Like, I. I can't plan anything because I don't know how I'm going to feel. I feel terrible, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Etc.

[Sarah Sherman]

Do you think if Ben dies, I could miss one sml.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't think so. You're in the machine. They don't care about emotions.

[Sarah Sherman]

And your friends and what they said it was Beno. Bald guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

They don't value Ben the way.

[Ben O'Brien]

What about if there's a picture of us smiling together?

[Sarah Sherman]

Maybe we have a couple.

[Stavros Halkias]

It would have to be a family member. I feel like you can't be like, this guy whose garage I used to sit in. Die.

[Ben O'Brien]

Why did you ask that question, by the way?

[Sarah Sherman]

Just kind of.

[Stavros Halkias]

You've been. You've been pretty stressed, and, you know, maybe you'll sacrifice Ben for a week off.

[Sarah Sherman]

Y'all, y'all, you know. Oh, Sarah goes to therapy nine times a week. Whatever. There are people out there using. Stop. As a therapist.

[Ben O'Brien]

I mean, we don't think that that's okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we don't think it's good. We're just trying to pay the bills, Sarah.

[Ben O'Brien]

We're using them for entertainment.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Let's keep going until our pal gets here with our lunch order.

[Sarah Sherman]

How many?

[Stavros Halkias]

Seven minutes away.

[Ben O'Brien]

Kind of close for me, but.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Hungry.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sorry. Ben, you hear my stomach. You can take yours to go.

[Sarah Sherman]

Wait, why? Where are you going?

[Stavros Halkias]

He actually has therapy to go to.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah, just push it.

[Ben O'Brien]

I already pushed it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Push it to the limit. All right. Hey, what's up, Stav? And eldest guest, of course. Friend of the pod here. Love you guys.

[Ben O'Brien]

You get me through work and any other bullshit.

[Stavros Halkias]

So. I'm 29.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm from Indiana.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm a musician.

[Ben O'Brien]

I play in a band, and I work for a much bigger band, go out on tour and roadie and all that cool stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

But the problem I'm having is with socializing.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm really bad at small. I was a fat goth in high school, so confidence has never been my strong suit.

[Stavros Halkias]

I got a higher level of confidence.

[Ben O'Brien]

Towards the end of high school and into college, probably until I was about 26.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know if it was Covid.

[Ben O'Brien]

Sitting around getting fucked up with my friends and not actually going out and talking to people, but getting back into it since then has been really hard. I have a girlfriend, so that's not an issue. I have good Close friends. But it's just whenever I'm talking to people that I just don't really know. I'm just. I kind of freeze up and get shy and awkward.

[Stavros Halkias]

So if you have any tips like that. I know you're very charismatic and probably.

[Ben O'Brien]

Always have been, but maybe Elvis or.

[Stavros Halkias]

One of the eldest. You got it for me, man. Thank you.

[Sarah Sherman]

I have to recycle things you've heard on this podcast in conversation.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not bad.

[Sarah Sherman]

Just memorize everything. Stop. Says, like, oh, my God. Like, you know, if there's a lull in the conversation, just be like, say something.

[Ben O'Brien]

You know, Sarah from SNL actually has hemorrhoids.

[Sarah Sherman]

That'll buy you five minutes minimum.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is interesting. So what is the context? You're out on the road in these people. Like, is that. What did he say? Are you just in general?

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah, he's. He says he's. He's a roadie for a big band, and I'm sure there's, like, hanging out parts of it all. And, you know, he's just meeting people and he just feels socially awkward, it sounds like.

[Stavros Halkias]

And look, that's every. Everybody goes through that. It's like, you know, even me, Mr. Charisma over here. I absolutely, definitely have times where I'm like, I'd rather suck the end of a gun than have this conversation with a stranger. And it's okay. Especially if you're tired. Like, being a roadie's hard. Like, these are hard days. Whatever. Like, it's okay sometimes if you're run down to just not have it some, like, not have the socializing thing.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Particularly if you're a person who is, you know, just. That's not your strong suit. I would say. Let's start there. Sometimes you're just gonna not feel like you're fun or whatever to talk to. But, you know, if you're, like, at a. Like, think about a party or something, like, you gotta find the ways in the conversation, then hope that it just kind of rolls on.

[Sarah Sherman]

You know, People underestimate the power of actually talking about the weather for real. Just start with something classic. It's really nice out. You're on tour. It could be nice somewhere, and then it's a different city and maybe the weather's a little different.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Also another thing that people. Oh, don't talk about this in conversation. Dreams. Oh, I don't want to hear about your dream last night. I do, I do.

[Stavros Halkias]

I do think there is something classic to where you are and who you're Talking to, right? So like, yeah, you might be in a dream. You might be in a dream, like, group, right? If you're on tour talking about the city being like, hey, I actually think any restaurants? Yeah, this place. Yeah, totally. That gets into like, what kind of food you like. You know what I mean? Like, it's such. It really just is cracking it and then. And also asking questions is so awesome. People like talking about themselves, man. You ask one, you have to crack into some generic stuff to start the convo at a party. You know what's so easy? It's like, hey, how do you know the person who host the party? Then you find out what kind, you know, how they know them, what kind of job, all this other.

[Sarah Sherman]

I always ask, where do people live and where are they from?

[Stavros Halkias]

Love that. And how about this a compliment.

[Sarah Sherman]

Where do you live?

[Stavros Halkias]

I always ask people, how are you doing? It's really good.

[Sarah Sherman]

That's what makes me a good person.

[Stavros Halkias]

But like, also, compliments are huge. People like being asked questions. People like getting compliments. You're. You're out with your own tour, Somebody's wearing a cool band shirt. Be like, that's fucking sick. Or like, I love your. Like, truly. Those are awesome. Like, it sounds so basic, but I like cool pants.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cool shoes.

[Ben O'Brien]

I like your ass. You look like you have a big.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nice tits. Can I see those tits? Stuff like that. What are you, a fucking bitch? I'm trying to be nice. You fucking horrible. All that kind of stuff. No, don't, no, don't tell people I said that. I'm just trying to. What are you doing? Ew.

[Sarah Sherman]

The next four years, Donald Trump is president.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's good stuff.

[Sarah Sherman]

You're good.

[Ben O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

Four years, you get to be like, crazy Donald Trump. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I will say, and this is. You're a musician. It's different, but like the ultimate, ultimate small talk tool in America with man. Men is sports.

[Sarah Sherman]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You gotta at least have a. That is so a base knowledge of sports. I happen I am one of the few, like, artistic people that truly like sport. Not few, but like in my friend.

[Ben O'Brien]

Group, I'd say sports person who's kind of artistic.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's actually true. I am definitely a bro who likes art a little bit. You're right.

[Ben O'Brien]

You're right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Actually, that's true. That's true. But I cannot tell. And you'd think it would just be like, you know, just like sports heads that love it. But it's like I have started conversations because of sports and it turns out people are like, Art or like, weirdos completely. Like, I've made friends with people that. It's like, you don't. You just don't know. It's just such a nice. And now it helps to be actually, like, passionate about it. Like, I do. I actually am into football and basketball, and so that's an easy thing. But it's. It's like just having the cursory understanding of it is the. Is the fucking. I can't tell you how many horrific elevator rides in small towns that I'm performing have been saved by just being like, your team looked pretty good. That you know what I mean? Or he's where somebody's wearing, like, a sub like some college and be like, I don't know much about college football, but, like, throwing something out there.

[Sarah Sherman]

If you're stuck talking to someone who looks like me, do not do that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't do that.

[Sarah Sherman]

The conversation will come to a.

[Ben O'Brien]

Take out a fucking gun and point it right at her fucking head.

[Stavros Halkias]

Same, but with girls, I would say Real Housewives. That's a banger. That's a good one. That's girls sports. Girls. Sports is Real Housewives.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And gay guys, I suppose. Yeah.

[Ben O'Brien]

Vanderpump.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. But Real Housewives is like, if you had to pick. Like, if you have pick one sport, I'd say pick NFL football.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you pick one girl thing, I would say pick Real Housewives or SNL.

[Sarah Sherman]

Can be sports for some people.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's actually true in a really sad way.

[Sarah Sherman]

Did you see that Sarah was in a lot of sketches?

[Stavros Halkias]

This. Sarah was in a sketch.

[Sarah Sherman]

Bench her home run with that hilarious character. It was nothing but net when Sarah did that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good job, Sarah. Very good. So there you go, little buddy. I mean, these are. These are. These are tough, but just crack it. And then the beginning is the hardest part. And. And you know, you'll get there. Compliments, questions, a couple general topics in the back of your. In your back pocket, and you'll be good to go.

[Sarah Sherman]

Pulling up YouTube videos on your phone, Sarah, SNL best of compilation.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's 45 seconds long.

[Ben O'Brien]

Hold on, hold on.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's loading.

[Ben O'Brien]

Make them wait there and share your phone while it's loading.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's Sarah standing behind Bowen Yang as he does something fun, funny, that kind of thing.

[Sarah Sherman]

It's a Sarah Sherman SNL fails compilation.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now that I don't know if you got the bandwidth on your phone to bring up. Well, you had something to say, Elvis?

[Ben O'Brien]

Oh, I was just gonna say too, Like, a lot of the times, just feeling awkward talking to people at a party or something. Sometimes you just drag on the conversation with a stranger. You know, if you just have like four back and forths and you're just feeling. It's okay to be like, oh, huh.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I'm getting a coke and go to the bathroom. You can even say, I'm going to circulate a little. People don't expect to sit and talk to the same person for the whole time.

[Ben O'Brien]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you really lock in, that can be nice.

[Sarah Sherman]

But pick up cigarette.

[Stavros Halkias]

Smoking cigarettes is huge.

[Sarah Sherman]

Cigarettes, you're smoking. You have an activity or even just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Go and get fresh. I was at a party and I don't smoke, but it was a kind of stuffy. People went out for cigarettes. I was like, you know, I'll come.

[Sarah Sherman]

Get some breath of fresh.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's fine. Just. You need ways in and out. That's a great point. Eldest. Practice your intros and then practice your ways in and out.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Bathroom. So drink. Oh, I see my buddy. I have to go. Let me go catch up with them over there. And having a buddy, actually, that's like a go to exit is nice. Or having a friend that can come in and help out, that's nice too.

[Sarah Sherman]

But stomach hurts. I had to take a. I have.

[Stavros Halkias]

To go in this prop toilet. But yeah. I don't know if you guys heard. There was a buzzer that went off. Our lunch is here, so. So, Sarah, thank you for coming three times on the pod. You're coming back.

[Sarah Sherman]

Sarah Sherman, snl. Hilarious Sarah Sherman fan cam. Maybe you guys, that would be.

[Stavros Halkias]

That wouldn't be bad. And yeah, you'll come back soon on. And we're putting you behind the paywall. And we're getting dirty with it.

[Sarah Sherman]

Yo.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're getting nasty with it. With all your dreams and whatever. Ben is already eating. I see him chewing. He has therapy. He's going to eat his whole sandwich in three minutes and then take an Uber to his place. Keep it twisted. Don't forget to keep it twisted. Of course. All right, see you. Bye. Bye. Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck.

[Ben O'Brien]

I'm going to make him an offer.

[Stavros Halkias]

He can't refuse with family. Canolies and spins mean everything.

[Ben O'Brien]

Now you want to get mixed up.

[Stavros Halkias]

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[Sarah Sherman]

Watch.

[Stavros Halkias]

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[Ben O'Brien]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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