#108 - Joe List

Summary

Stavvy's World Episode #108 - Joe List

Release Date: December 23, 2024
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Joe List

---

Overview

In this festive episode of Stavvy's World, host Stavros Halkias teams up with comedian Joe List to dive into a myriad of holiday-themed discussions. The episode blends humor with heartfelt advice, touching on personal relationships, parenting, and the quirks of the holiday season. Amidst the laughter and storytelling, listeners are treated to candid conversations that resonate with anyone navigating the complexities of family life and personal growth during the holidays.

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1. Holiday Traditions and Memories

Stavros and Joe reminisce about their favorite Christmas memories, sharing nostalgic tales that highlight the unique ways they celebrated the season.

• Stavros on Matching Socks:
  "It's like finishing your laundry, successfully matching all your daughter's baby socks together on the first try."
  [00:03]

• Joe on Christmas Enthusiasm:
  "Wanna be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV, leave a voicemail and get some advice!"
  [00:28]

2. Parenting and Relationships

The conversation naturally shifts to parenting, with Joe discussing the joys and challenges of raising a child and how it impacts his relationships.

• Stavros on Taking Parenthood Seriously:
  "We have to take mothers and women down to back on Christmas."
  [04:10]

• Joe on Parenting Dynamics:
  "I work hard. Every day you draw breath is a gift."
  [02:00]

3. Personal Stories and Anecdotes

Joe shares humorous and sometimes outrageous stories from his past, including his interactions with Uncle Dale and his experiences in the military.

• Joe on Uncle Dale's Quirks:
  "Every Christmas he's like, can you just put me down for like the house and the cars and everything, the health insurance?"
  [01:34]

• Stavros on Life in the Firehouse:
  "It's a nice sized place with a hang layout. We would have taken up a lot of space."
  [03:43]

4. Challenges in Relationships

The duo delves into the complexities of maintaining relationships, especially during stressful times like the holiday season. They discuss the importance of communication and understanding between partners.

• Joe on Handling Conflicts:
  "And he takes it out, just picks it up and dumps it like he just won the Super Bowl."
  [10:21]

• Stavros on Supporting Partners:
  "Just be there for her and cut her some slack because she might just want to chill."
  [90:12]

5. Advice on Relationship Issues

Stavros and Joe offer practical advice to listeners grappling with common relationship dilemmas, such as dealing with overusing shared resources or handling self-consciousness in a partner.

• Stavros on Roommate Conflicts:
  "If it's going to be a regular thing, then let's treat it like a roommate dispute and have a conversation."
  [66:18]

• Joe on Supporting a Self-Conscious Partner:
  "Keep telling her she looks great, keep affirming how you feel."
  [90:40]

6. Humor and Banter

Throughout the episode, Stavros and Joe engage in playful banter, poking fun at each other's quirks and sharing light-hearted jokes that keep the conversation lively and entertaining.

• Stavros on Lost Retainers:
  "I literally am the right person to call because I remember feeling this."
  [84:59]

• Joe on Navigating Social Situations:
  "She poured sugar in his gas tank. That's a crazy move."
  [76:07]

---

Notable Moments

• Christmas Cookie Mishap:
  Joe recounts a funny incident where he ended up with coffee on his shirt before Stavros arrived, highlighting the chaos that can ensue during holiday gatherings.
  "She just mutilated me with boiling hot coffee down my arm."
  [10:21]

• Eddie Vedder's Birthday Shout-Out:
  The hosts take a moment to celebrate Eddie Vedder's 60th birthday, showcasing their camaraderie and shared love for music.
  "Happy 60th to my dear friend Eddie Vedder."
  [106:26]

• Listener Calls:

  • Handling Roommate Laundry Issues:
    A caller shares frustrations about a roommate's girlfriend overusing their laundry facilities. Stavros and Joe provide candid, albeit humorous, advice on addressing the situation.
    "It's the perils of having roommates."
    [62:13]

  • Supporting a Self-Conscious Partner:
    Another caller seeks advice on how to help his wife feel more beautiful post-pregnancy. The hosts emphasize the importance of support and open communication.
    "Keep being a nice supportive guy and understanding her needs."
    [88:42]

---

Conclusion

Episode #108 of Stavvy's World is a blend of humor, personal storytelling, and genuine advice, all wrapped up in the festive spirit of the holiday season. Stavros Halkias and Joe List create an engaging atmosphere where listeners can both laugh and reflect on their own relationships and traditions. Whether it's sharing funny mishaps or offering heartfelt guidance, this episode provides a well-rounded listening experience for anyone looking to navigate the joys and challenges of Christmas with a smile.

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Notable Quotes:

• "It's like finishing your laundry, successfully matching all your daughter's baby socks together on the first try." — Stavros Halkias [00:03]
• "You're the only guy that doesn't like them." — Joe List [46:14]
• "Keep telling her she looks great, keep affirming how you feel." — Joe List [90:40]
• "Happy 60th to my dear friend Eddie Vedder." — Joe List [106:26]

Transcript

[Stavros Halkias]

How do you feel when you switch.

[Joe List]

To Geico and save on your car insurance?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like finishing your laundry, successfully matching all your daughter's baby socks together on the first try.

[Joe List]

Let's see. Panda socks, firetruck socks. Socks with those cute little strawberries on them.

[Stavros Halkias]

You matched each and every one of those tiny socks.

[Joe List]

I mean, has this ever happened in.

[Stavros Halkias]

The history of laundry?

[Joe List]

And a penguin wearing a cowboy hat? Socks. Done. Enjoy the moment, dad.

[Stavros Halkias]

You've earned it. Yep, switching and saving with Geico feels just like that.

[Joe List]

Get more with Geico.

[Stavros Halkias]

How do you feel when you switch.

[Joe List]

To Geico and save on your car insurance? It's like going to work on Thursday.

[Stavros Halkias]

Morning and thinking to yourself, just one more day until Friday. But then somebody walks into the elevator and says, happy Friday.

[Joe List]

Then you check your phone quickly and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Discover today is actually Friday. So yes.

[Joe List]

Happy Fri. Yay, random stranger in the elevator.

[Stavros Halkias]

Happy Fri. Yay indeed. Yep, switching and saving with Geico feels just like that. Get more with Geico. Welcome, everybody, to stabby's world. 904-800. Stop. Call in. We'll solve your problems on this beautiful Monday of Christmas week. In fact, Ellis, why don't you play us a little something different, maybe? Yeah. Isn't that nice?

[Joe List]

It's beautiful.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's beautiful. The kids are, you know, you're. You're out there buying your last minute gifts.

[Joe List]

I ain't bought nothing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, you're fine. You're ba. Your son is. He doesn't know what the hell's going on.

[Joe List]

Well, we got the. We got the boys gift.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Joe List]

Sarah did that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, that's good.

[Joe List]

My money, my friend Derek has a funny point and I always laughed at it. I'm like, oh, he's such a hilarious asshole. But now I feel it. He's like, every Christmas he's like, can you just put me down for like the house and the cars and everything, the health insurance? Like, just put my name on that. Like, I.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's my gift. That's my gift to you, you fucking thankless whore.

[Joe List]

You ungrateful fucking bitch.

[Stavros Halkias]

I work every. Every day is a. Every day you draw breath is a gift.

[Joe List]

Every week I gotta go a couple blocks and talk about whether or not I would or would not eat my dad's come. And I work hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

We. I work hard in the podcasting minds.

[Joe List]

Thousands of dollars a year. Would you eat your dad's come if you had to?

[Stavros Halkias]

What are the parameters? Let's. Let's make this bit a reality. Let's actually Talk about it on Christmas.

[Joe List]

Well, would you rather eat your mother out to completion or blow dad to completion? The age old and you can't do them both, by the way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Put me down for the combo platter. Put me down for the TGI Fridays. Three mozzarella sticks, four chicken wings, some bruschetta.

[Joe List]

How about those mott sticks last night, by the way? Was that something else?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, they were good after the air fryer.

[Joe List]

You sure about Eldis? Elvis, you're always welcome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, I should have. I went to Joe's little. We had a little holiday party. I just thought there was no help invited that you couldn't bring your.

[Joe List]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You couldn't bring. You know. Did people bring their maids?

[Joe List]

I was. I was thinking you guys were friends. I forget. Oh, no, no, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

Purely, purely stop.

[Eldis]

Doesn't answer my calls. Like, dude, I need a green light on this post. Is this caption okay, Good for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, we couldn' have had Eldis in there, man. Me and Eldis were taking up too much real. Too much living room real estate.

[Joe List]

Yeah, good point. It's a small place. That's the problem.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a nice sized place with a hang layout. You know, we really would have. We would have taken up a lot of space.

[Joe List]

Well, some people just stood the entire time. I felt kind of bad. And then I had the baby. The whole time. Sarah kept being like, I'm taking over. And I was. I'll believe it when I see it. You okay, babe?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so true. We got to take women down a peg this Christmas. We have to take mothers and women down to back on Christmas.

[Joe List]

Oh, you carried the baby. I'm carrying them now.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's right.

[Joe List]

Carry for nine months. I carry him for nine hours at a party.

[Stavros Halkias]

So true, man. He's cute as hell.

[Joe List]

Yeah, he's sweet. He's fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, he likes you.

[Joe List]

You know, I think you. You and Karen were the first two visitors. And I think that lingers.

[Stavros Halkias]

He can tell.

[Joe List]

He can tell it.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, he's, he's. I do think babies like him because I look like a giant baby. I have baby features, baby characteristics.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I make them feel comfortable.

[Joe List]

I think you're right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, I should. But I do feel bad. I should provide a service where I. I betray baby's trust. So they know because I'm the only guy that looks like me that a baby should trust.

[Joe List]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, I don't want Marty to see me and be like balding God. So I. It's gonna break my heart. I'm Gonna have to. At some point. I have to treat your son like Harry and the Hendersons, where they yell at him at the end or they hate him.

[Joe List]

Like just a light, where it's not, like, devastating, but it lets him know.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is not a good guy.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You tell me. I'm not going to. You tell me at.

[Joe List]

Oh, just something. Show me on the doll.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe with a Q tip. Merry Christmas.

[Joe List]

All right, that's enough.

[Stavros Halkias]

We'll just beep that whole thing, Elders. Yeah, but we'll leave in. We'll leave in the act. Out.

[Joe List]

But we'll bleep out. Total, totally mute. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Believe in Q tip.

[Eldis]

The phrase, show me on the doll.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I trust you, man. I'm gonna give you some Christmas. Some. Your Christmas gift is a little chance to show off your creativity. Eldest. I know how you're always looking for more. More opportunities to be creative. Man. Joe, that anecdote about Boston or parenthood was so good.

[Joe List]

Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

We should also let the people know where they can see you. You know, which shows you have coming up.

[Joe List]

Big shows, everybody. Huge, huge shows. January, My move. My film.

[Stavros Halkias]

Film. Yes. Tom.

[Joe List]

Dustin. Portrait of a Comedian is gonna be playing in Somerville, Massachusetts, and then it's gonna be coming to theaters all over. We got distribution, which is crazy. You know, a little thing about that.

[Stavros Halkias]

A little bit about that.

[Joe List]

See your movie.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's start a cold, please. It's on Amazon.

[Joe List]

Oh, really? I can watch it today?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah, you can rent it.

[Joe List]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm doing a good job getting the word out. If my closest friends don't even know that.

[Joe List]

I had no idea. Well, I got a. I'm all baby up. I'm all up, so. I don't know. I literally don't know anything. I just. I just found out Kennedy was killed. He was in a car. They shot him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. John F. Oh, I thought it was.

[Joe List]

Bobby Jr. No, no, he's still kicking.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's gonna take polio vaccines away.

[Joe List]

Oh, that's good. That's dynamite. Finally. What a bag of dudes. But anyways, yes. January 9th, Somerville, Massachusetts, is my. Phil. Have you watched the movie yet?

[Stavros Halkias]

I haven't yet.

[Joe List]

Yeah, well, I've been out a lot longer.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, when I was gonna see it. I was on the road when it came.

[Joe List]

When it came out. Maybe you're right. Anyways, the point is, it's out January 19th in Somerville. Then it'll be in theaters everywhere. And then Kansas City, January 15th to the 17th. The weekend after that, Sunnyvale, California.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love it.

[Joe List]

January 25th to the 27th, something like that. And the big one, April 19th, Patriots Day in Boston. Wilbur Theater. I'll be up there. And that was going to be.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm going to be outside with a pressure cooker.

[Joe List]

I'm a survivor. You can't say that. I was there.

[Stavros Halkias]

You drunkenly attended. That's barely being a survivor.

[Joe List]

That was my first year sober.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Joe List]

I was four months sober at the time. And I was very close. I was at the mile mark and it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or whatever his name is, I was one mile away.

[Joe List]

And you probably do want him free. You. You communist piece of. And you probably want. What's this? Luigi.

[Stavros Halkias]

To be free Luigi for sure.

[Joe List]

Oh, my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

Free Luigi. Give him another gun. Set him loose.

[Joe List]

Penny, penny, penny, penny, penny. Should give him a million bu. Thoughts and actions. Anyway, so, yeah, come see me. The Wilbur. April 19th, Minneapolis Acme. April 10th to the 12th.

[Stavros Halkias]

Go see Joe. And then, of course, we have. Let's Start a Cult out for rental. And the Dreamboat Tour. Very important. Tickets are out now. We're going all over the place. Me and Eldis hitting the road on a bus. We're west coast all the way, Midwest parts of the South. We're going to end up in Toronto, end up in D.C. so it's going to be a big tour. We're going to be going from mid February all the way till May. Wow. Yeah, we're out there hitting the road. So crazy. So buy your tickets. They're already. They're selling pretty well. We've already sold out a couple. Get them now. I know it seems early, but, you know, February will be here. February, March, April, May. They'll be here before you know it. So grab your tickets now.

[Joe List]

And they make great Christmas gifts, by the way.

[Stavros Halkias]

They do make great Christmas gifts.

[Joe List]

Last minute Christmas gift. You go, hey, I got you tickets to see Stavros. I get tickets to see lists.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's actually a great. That's a great point. They are. This is very, very good. Elders. These are actually great Christmas gifts. And you don't have to do shit. You're online and you print them out. People will love them. The calendar is out, of course we have T shirts, so check it out. We got a lot of last minute Christmas gifts at Stavi Biz. They will not. If you're watching today, the physical stuff won't get here. But on Monday of Christmas, you can buy a ticket, print out the ticket, you're good, you're golden. Try that out, folks. Go get. Get tickets to see me And Joe say, you know, perfect last minute gift for your family. And anyway, let's. Let's go back to those fun anecdotes about your big dicked uncle that comes like 20 minutes after.

[Joe List]

I know. How about Karen yesterday? She shows up with a hot coffee and just puts it on his little table. Just walks away. Just out. She's out. And he takes it out, just picks it up and dumps it like he just won the super bow. Boiling hot coffee all down his arm, onto his head. Just mutilated. Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's why he had coffee stains on his little shirt. Yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

Oh, that was before you got there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I got there late.

[Joe List]

He was just all brown like your neighbors. Time to move on from this place.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, Joe, we get it. You left a story where you'd been for what, 15 years?

[Joe List]

18. What a. 18 years.

[Stavros Halkias]

A whole legal adult.

[Joe List]

Wow. Legal. I don't know how you do it. Just trash everywhere.

[Stavros Halkias]

Manhattan Joe. How he forgets.

[Joe List]

I haven't seen a nanny since I got here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, the kids here just looked after by their grandmothers, basically. That's nature's nanny, the grandmother.

[Joe List]

I had a little girl ask me if I was a nanny the other day. She's like, are you his nanny? I was like, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

In your neighborhood, they like, why are you. Yeah, well, clearly you can't be a parent. Yeah, parents are doing cocaine and. And closing deals or on. Or getting Botox and having, you know, eating pills and drinking white wine.

[Joe List]

I think that's what they do down there. Yeah, you should come down. I might bring Eldest.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I can. I just need a place with a, like, closet. Like a large closet Eldest can live in and a half bath for him.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, I think we have. We have room for a small bed and whatever you find. And then if my wife's in town, we can crash on the bed in here. Just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

Leave a bedroom function.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly, exactly.

[Joe List]

We.

[Stavros Halkias]

You will mostly live here. That is gonna be so funny. If I get a different place, I'm like, eldest. Good news. You get to fucking. I'll give you a deal on my old bedroom.

[Eldis]

I'm already so close to utter surf dumb.

[Joe List]

But that would be.

[Eldis]

That would be sharecropping fully.

[Joe List]

I couldn't do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would be so funny. But it would be. Yeah, it's like I just transfer how shitty it feels for me to live here. I'm like, you know what? That feels bad. I'm gonna get a new place. Eldis, though. Why don't you do it? It'll be convenient. I could call you anytime to make an edit to podcast because I know you'll have access to the computer now.

[Joe List]

When you leave here, like, this is like a three bedroom home. You're in a house here. Yeah, that's going to be an adjustment. Or a lot more money. You got to go smaller or like.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, I'll probably just spend the money.

[Joe List]

300 times more money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I don't. I mean, I don't really spend money on anything, to be honest with you. I just, I can look at you.

[Joe List]

Like me with my free bar stuff at least. Yeah, at least.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm wearing clothes I purchased.

[Joe List]

I always like, I don't know anything about bar. I'm like, am I just wearing like a swastika? And I don't realize it.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, they're not that bad. But it is funny to be constant. You wear that so much for someone who does not listen to barstool at all.

[Joe List]

I don't know literally anything about barstool. I've been to KFC and I like tmt. I know the guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Those guys are awesome.

[Joe List]

I know the guy eats pizza and I think he's like a Republican.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. What's his name? Portnoy.

[Joe List]

It is.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is hilarious to be like, I'm the guy who eats pizza. What? That's what. That's what you're proud of? That you like pizza? That's fucking stupid. But hey, that guy has somehow become like a billionaire off of like, you know, his blog. So hats off, I suppose.

[Joe List]

Yeah, hats on, Santa hats.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's right. Santa hats on. On this beautiful Christmas Monday. Joe, what are. What. Recount this. What are some. Last time you were here, we did. We had a Thanksgiving episode. We tried to get Bobby. It was very last. This Christmas episode was very last minute. Tried to get Bobby. He was mad that I asked him to do something last minute. So it's just us boys. But it is Joe. This is Joe Listmas here. Yeah. Yeah. How about some nice Christmas memories, you know? What do you got for us? What was your favorite. What was your favorite toy as a child that you ever got? Do you remember?

[Joe List]

Boy, I remember I was a big Star wars homo.

[Stavros Halkias]

So interesting.

[Joe List]

Which is interesting because, like, I wasn't a kid really, really to like 87, 88. But those movies just ling. I mean, they still linger on now, but like it was four or five years after Return of the Jedi, but it was still like, that was the thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Joe List]

And I remember coming home and, and getting like, we did Christmas in the Morning at my parents and then we'd go to my one grandparents house and the other grandparents and getting all these toys and coming home and my mother one time was like, oh my God, we totally forgot a present. And if she was like, it was this one, it wasn't even from them, it was like from her work friend and it was like, like the Ewok. It was like a log that swung and bashed things up. I was a big Ewok guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

The gayest part of Star wars was your favorite.

[Joe List]

Well, I was six. You. They were fun. And looking back, it just didn't make it. That Ewoks beating up the guy didn't make any sense. Throwing logs and rocks.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're like, yeah, yeah, they're little, they're cute little. They're basically like the cuddly Viet Cong. You like guerrilla warriors.

[Joe List]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which you know, maybe I'm back on board. Shout out to Uncle Mao. And that's Joe's Ewok impression, everybody. He's just doing a bad Ewok impression.

[Joe List]

Communist Ewoks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, they were.

[Joe List]

But yeah, Tom Shalu had a great joke about that. You know Tom Shalhou, I don't know, he's. He's kind of like a Fox News. He's more conservative. You probably hate him. But yeah, sweet guy, very funny guy. And, but he had a great years ago. He's like, I was watching the Iraq, obviously it was a long time ago, maybe it was the Afghan war. He's like, I was watching the war on the news and he's like this kind of reminds me of Star Wars. Like they're like the rebels and we're like the evil, we're the bad guys. He's like, but it didn't make me change my opinion of the war. It made me change my opinion of Star Wars. I was like, these guys, these rebels, wow. He's like the Empire.

[Stavros Halkias]

He almost for one second showed some like critical thought and he's like, no, no, actually it's the space Nazis that are the good guys.

[Joe List]

That's a funny bit.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean maybe I'm missing something. But he was like, well that's because.

[Joe List]

That'S the easy way. It's a twist.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right.

[Joe List]

You don't know comedy.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm sorry, I don't know comedy. And I'm unfortunately have sympathy for the people of Iraq that we killed for no reason.

[Joe List]

Well, I think he's joking a little.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know, I know, I know. I'm kidding. What?

[Joe List]

No reason. They were going to take over everything. They had the nuclear bomb. You reached out, watch the news. They had nukes under the ground. They were going to shoot us in.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just stopped watching the News. Like in 2002.

[Joe List]

They were going to get us.

[Stavros Halkias]

Jesus, man. Poor Saddam, may he rest in peace. What a good guy.

[Joe List]

Now you probably don't like the Vietnam War either because you think communism wasn't that big of a deal. You think the Vietcong wasn't going to take over the entire plan.

[Stavros Halkias]

Folks, I got to tell you about Thuma, a modern design company that has some of the best furniture and home goods you're gonna find. When I was looking for a new bed, this is true. Thuma was not even a sponsor of Stoppies World. I was just doing my research, looking for a stylish bed that was easy to use and that could support the weight of a plus sized gentleman and a guest or two. You know what I'm saying? I wanted something that looked good, easy to put together and I got Thuma. Truly, they were not paying me a dime. I purchased it with my own money. The classic bed. That was. I did that solely because I researched all my options and came to the conclusion that Thuma had the best looking stuff that was so easy to put together. And then just because it was easy didn't mean it was cheap. It has like this interesting. I don't know, it's like these like notches that go into each other. It's like Japanese joint. Jointery.

[Eldis]

I believe it's called joinery.

[Stavros Halkias]

Joinery, Sorry, Jointery. Japanese joinery. Brother. Smoke a dude and put your bed together, man. It's awesome. It's crafted from solid wood, precision cut for a silent stable foundation. I can never put anything together. I put this together five minutes just by myself. I love this bed. They have a ton of awesome stuff. You know, I have the classic bed. You might also want to check out their nest dresser, the pillar bookshelf. Now that I'm going spending a little more time in Baltimore where I bought this bed, I might be outfitting it with more Thuma stuff. So if you want to sleep on the same type of bed that I do, and I know some freaks like you are out there that are just gonna buy it solely for that reason. Go. So I want you to explore. To explore Thumas entire collection, visit www.thuma.co or the flagship location here in New York City. Pieces ship quickly and arrive straight to your door. To get a hundred dollars towards your first bed purchase, go to thuma co. That's t h u m a co to receive $100 off your bed purchase. You're gonna love it. I love it. I can't wait to go sleep on my thuma tonight.

[Joe List]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you had the nice.

[Joe List]

So I got that. I had everything. I had every Star Wars X Wing Fighter, all the. It was awesome. Those I remember really enjoying a lot. Maybe a bicycle, I don't know, Christmas.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was all Star wars stuff for you, huh?

[Joe List]

As a little kid.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

I loved, loved, love the Star Wars.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. I, I, we were. I remember watching Star wars when I was like 6 or 7 for the first time. Thanksgiving, because I had like an older family friend show it to me and being like, hell yeah, dude, I'm a Jedi. Give me a little lightsaber. Get all that shit. But we didn't get that. I think, I think it was very video game based for, for me, all my best presence were like, I remember getting the Super Nintendo. The GameCube was a big one. Oh, GameCube. When I was, I mean, I was already in high school, but it was like the best moment. Me and my brothers probably had the, our best relationship where we had to like, enjoy the gamecube for the first two weeks together.

[Joe List]

That's sweet. See, I never went above Sega. Sega Genesis was my last system or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're a big Sonic guy.

[Joe List]

I love Sonic. Yeah. I love Sonic and Chick Fil A. Hello, folks. No, I was a bit Sonic, but video games start like sci fi. Wrestling all ended for me at an appropriate age. Like 11. I was, I was out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, Right.

[Joe List]

I got into like the Godfather and drinking. Ye, Yeah, I didn't drink till later, but I was like, I got really into sport. Like Ken Griffy Jr. Like Michael Jordan and the Godfather became like the nucleus of.

[Stavros Halkias]

At 11.

[Joe List]

11, 12. Yeah. Like, I watched wrestle. I mean, the fact that there's people. Well, this show, I'm probably going to trigger a lot of people, but the idea of being like WrestleMania 75s coming on, everybody come over.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is the funniest part of Soder is that he's like, is that with the same earnestness and like, like depth and like love that he has. And as a good friend as he is, he will turn that exact level of love and care and devotion, if not more to wrestling.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, damn. For a second I'm like, I respect soda so much that maybe wrestling isn't gay, but it is obviously it's pretty good. And it look, it's fun. I remember. Were you, were you there where we got high and watched the Royal Rumble on, like. Like, YouTube or was that me and Benny, Butt cheeks.

[Eldis]

Oh, yeah. That was at your house. Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

That was fun. I mean, to like, just kind of pop in as a nostalgic thing when you're with the fellas and you're stoned and it's like, let's just throw on a royal R. Like, those are far. Like, you throw in, like, some old guys that you remember, but to keep up with it is kind of tough.

[Joe List]

Oh, no. I watch wrestling all the time now. Like, I was just watching it on the Rock, like, Saturday night, main event from, like, 88, 89. You give me, like, a Bret Hart versus Randy Savage. 80s. I love it because now when everything. When you're a kid, it's fun to watch as an adult through the eyes of, like, adulthood of, like, oh, these guys were, like, swilling beers and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right. Thinking about going over, actually doing it.

[Joe List]

That stuff is. Is neat and fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

But the idea of being, like, I don't know. He's gonna win. Don't you think, like, UFC really has destroyed wrestling.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Like, it's an actual fight real now. It's a cool, real fight.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

So.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it is. And it's. The characters are interesting, too. It's always, like, right, these, like, cyborg, like, you know, Chechens or, like, colorful Irishman or, like, you know, some jet. The jackest jackedest black dude you've ever seen in your life.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And just like, you know, it's. There's former. There's former Olympians. Like, it really is a fun mix of. Of people.

[Joe List]

No, it's the best. And.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, no, you're right. It really has taken over that because you can't. I mean, I guess plenty of people. I mean, the w. I think they. The same company bought both, so they're trying to, like, kind of. Which I guess makes sense to kind of, like, marry the brands together in a weird way, but who knows? Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. I. I was. I. We stopped watching wrestling because I gave my brothers a black eye doing a Stone Cold stunner.

[Joe List]

Nice. We're so. We're different in age. Like, Stone Cold was. I guess he. I was in high school when that. Yeah, I missed that whole thing. Thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

We.

[Stavros Halkias]

We have just enough of a. We have just a little gap, right. In our ages. I was born in 89.

[Joe List]

Yeah. I was 82.

[Stavros Halkias]

There you go.

[Joe List]

I was seven.

[Stavros Halkias]

A nice seven years. It was year seven. And I. That would have Been nice, man.

[Joe List]

That would have been fun. I would have been happy to show you the ropes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hang out with some fat little baby.

[Joe List]

Yeah, I could have been good for you, I think.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Good influence, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you do much, like. Was there? Cuz you. You. You had sis. You only had a sister, right?

[Joe List]

I had an older sister, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So there was. What's the. Was there, like, fighting and stuff on Christmas? What were the vibes like between.

[Joe List]

I think, Christmas, we always got along. We would fight a little bit. And then I had, like, a big extended family. I have, like, a cousin who's like three months older than me, and then a cousin who's four years old. And I have an uncle, of course, Uncle Dale, four years older than me. So there was a bunch of us.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, that's so funny. We're like, opening presents with your uncle.

[Joe List]

It's the weirdest. We've talked about it before. We're like, I have all these stories. People like, your uncle. And I was like, oh, sorry, we're the same age. Yeah. I like, yeah, I was not stealing street signs and fat women with my uncle. And people like, what. What went on? Which I never thought was weird. Everything's normal when you're a kid. Everything you do is just normal. So you're like, you know, your uncle, that's the same age as you. People are like, what the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your uncle that buys you Booze when you're 17 and he's 21.

[Joe List]

Yeah, exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's nice try.

[Joe List]

You try to get laid together. I remember. I've tried this as a bed. I remember my uncle and I went to Vegas together, and he's like, all right, we got contest. And he had, like, a system. He's like, five points for a fat chick, eight points for an old lady. A black woman's ten points. Whatever it was, you know, a peg leg is a Whatever. And I was like, we're not those guys. What if I'm gonna like a bunch of women?

[Stavros Halkias]

How about if I. One woman? It's a thousand points.

[Joe List]

And neither of us even spoke to a woman at any point. And Uncle Dale, he's like a firefighter, and he's very handsome. He's got a huge. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah. He's got.

[Stavros Halkias]

I never saw.

[Joe List]

He's got a leg of a. Yeah. And by the way, I was just at the firehouse. We were recounting when you were there.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was a great time.

[Joe List]

And he's still like. If you bring it up, he's like, allegedly like we have a union and like you can't just have naked.

[Stavros Halkias]

I didn't. For anyone wondering how long it was like eight years ago. When was this? Like nine years ago.

[Joe List]

Must have been more money. Maybe it was eight years ago.

[Stavros Halkias]

Eight, eight or nine years ago. Eight or nine years ago when I did a gig with Joe, it was actually me. You who? Tim Dylan? Yeah, yeah, me, you, Tim who? There a couple other people on the show. But we. I definitely did not pose nude on a fire truck. That did not happen. I actually. And even if it did, I had the. The image is lost to Tom time. So there actually isn't any. Oh, you have it.

[Joe List]

Yeah, of course I have the legend. The alleged photo.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I did. What I did pose nude on. Is your family's pool table.

[Joe List]

Yeah, pool table.

[Stavros Halkias]

We made your whole family clear out.

[Joe List]

Leave the room and Tim has like a thing of hundred. We can put that in right here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we can put that in right here. Yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

We got a bunch of hundred dollar bills and you look like a boy. You've aged horrendously. You look 11. Crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know. I was completely hairless. I had a like. And it was like. It's so funny to think about my whole bread and butter was just jokes about how fat and disgusting I was. And I truly weighed maybe 90 pounds less than I like I wasn't even that fat actually.

[Joe List]

Well, this is the thing and you should be grateful for the size you are now. Cuz in a few years you'll be triple this. So just enjoy yourself. Just live it. Love it.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're so right, man. I'm going to look so bad.

[Joe List]

This is the best you've looked. You're going to be like. Remember back in 2024, Chris this. I look like a rail.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I could still buy clothes in some stores.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

When I didn't have to have every piece of clothing specially made for me.

[Joe List]

Yeah, you're gonna be all great. You're gonna look like Santa.

[Stavros Halkias]

But that'll be a nice, you know, nice four I'll be. That's a nice way to go out in your 40s. Your late 40s, you know.

[Joe List]

Oh, you got fat as hell on that. Come on, buddy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, 52.

[Joe List]

52 is nice. That's decent. That'll be important. Impressive.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ho ho ho. Marry Joe Listmas. Or should I say Mary Shopify. Ms. That is what I should say because for me and everybody here at Stavi Baby Enterprises using Shopify for our online store. It's like Christmas every day, baby. It's A gift using Shopify. You don't understand how bootleg it used to be. When I used to sell my merchandise, I used to sell it from off of DMs. I would Venmo. I would get Venmos directly. There was no way for me to keep track of anything. People would ask for stuff. I would forget about it. But with Shopify, that's all gone, baby. We sell calendars, we sell T shirts. Whatever we're selling, we're using Shopify. And it makes the whole process seamless, beautiful. It's got the number one checkout for your customers and for you. It's so easy to use. You get your money.

[D]

Money.

[Stavros Halkias]

You get it more efficiently than you could ever dream yourself. When I was selling calendars out of my Honda Civic, I couldn't dream of the simplicity and beauty of using Shopify. What do you sell, baby? You got a business? Well, here's what I want you to do. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that we use with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com Stavi S, T, A, V, V, Y. All lowercase. Go to shopify.comstavi to upgrade your selling today.

[Joe List]

Shopify.comstavi but, yeah, no, that was awesome. And what was I talking about? I didn't even know Uncle Dale. Uncle Dale's the man.

[Stavros Halkias]

The Vegas trip.

[Joe List]

Oh, yeah. Vegas.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

I don't get, like, that. Looking back, I could. This is what's so frustrating. Now I have some. Some confidence. I'm fun. I could have. I just thought nobody wanted to fuck me.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's the classic. That's why everyone's fantasy is, like, put me back in my body, right? Like, just beam me into high school. Me, I'd be the fucking man. But is that even true? I mean, you probably would fuck, like, like, three girls and then realize, like, oh, I don't know math. I'm stupider now. Like, if I had to do high school homework, I would fit. I would be a much worse student right now.

[Joe List]

Oh, 100.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, I would have to, like, do regimented. I could never do it.

[Joe List]

No. I've tried to do, like, multiplication recently with the X and the carry in the number. And I was like, I don't know. Or division. Like, I know how to make the thing, but I'm like, I know this is crazy, but we have calculators.

[Stavros Halkias]

We have calculators even, like, right? I guess I could probably write an essay pretty easily. That's the one thing I'm better At I could write a five paragraph. Like, that's hilarious to think about how much you were sweating five paragraphs. But any math or science or having to sit there for a long time. Although maybe I'd get jacked. Now I'm convincing myself again. Yeah, it would be cool. But then you wouldn't have any of your friends, none of your pals.

[Joe List]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would leave Eldis in the dust. Eldest would be confused by how. How that would be so funny if one of us went back in time, how that would affect our relationship.

[Eldis]

With everything I know now, I'd surpass you. You'd be working for me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You just go back in time, every recording, all the recordings of all my standup you have, you would memorize them. I'd be like, wow, I'm so happy for Eldis. But something feels off about this. My whole life life.

[Joe List]

Wasn't there a premise of a movie recently where the Beatles didn't exist and so the guy made all the Beatles music?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Which is the most like, all right, let's hang it up, Boomers. It's enough. It's enough, guys. It's all right. We. The Beatles were good. We get it. But it's 50 years later. 60, whatever. It's longer than that. And it. No one would be like some kid who. If yesterday didn't exist then.

[Joe List]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Some Indian guy. Guy does it now. No one's gonna be like, what a genius. You're gonna be like, that's kind of a nice song, I guess.

[Joe List]

No, it would get like 40, 000 views. Yeah. It would be dwarfed by Stavi's world. Be like, yeah, the song's okay, but did you see Stavi? He talked about eating a lady's ass out on Thanksgiving. If that's appropriate or not.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can't do that on Thanksgiving. You can't be eating ass on Thanksgiving. That's where the worst days to eat at Ass. Oh, the brave souls who've attempted ass eating after two full plates.

[Joe List]

I haven't eaten ass in a long time. My wife doesn't want me to eat her ass.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's a shame.

[Joe List]

I want to get in there. You like eating ass?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Joe List]

Yeah, it's fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's fun.

[Joe List]

It's a little dry. It's nice. It's drier than a. Which is kind of yucky.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Something about the excites me sexually more than a. I don't know what it is.

[Joe List]

The only thing that sucks is this. I wish there was like something hanging down that you could Kind of while you're in it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Something like a stress ball. Yeah. Something to take your attention.

[Joe List]

You know what I mean? That would be cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now that would be really cool.

[Joe List]

If there was a little more hair on it. That would be kind of nice. That's the kind of thing I think about.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

You know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. You should get your wife something like that. A fake hanging appendage that you. That you could tug on while you eat her ass.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dude, I love that. I love the idea of going on. Of going on adventures with your uncle. With your four years older uncle. Oh, he was like the main. He must have been like your main big brother figure.

[Joe List]

Absolutely. Yeah. No, it was awesome. It was so fun. And then he graduated the fire academy the same time I started doing stand up like the same week. So we were like in this new way. And then we had all the firemen and. And comics mixed together, which are very similar occupations.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

Because they work like, like two 24 hour shifts. Yeah, we work, you know, three half hour shifts. And it's like, it's drunken. Everyone drinking in this community. Women aren't really allowed around, you know, it's kind of like, oh, yeah, they're here. But it was beautiful. Yeah, it was awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn. Did he live. Did you ever. The. I love the idea of the firehouse as a, like, concept sounds so sick. Like if there's no fires going on, it's just seems like a clubhouse. Like in my head, they even have the thing you slide down on the pole. The pole? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

Well, I think it used to be a lot more like that, but now they have their paramedic and they respond to all the heroin, all the fentanyl and. And they're in Massachusetts, so I think there's less hanging out. There's a lot more. Like a lady fell down, a guy's on the ground, sleep. But whatever. It's a lot of like narcanning and all that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting. It's all firemen doing that, huh?

[Joe List]

Yeah, well, there's the ambulance and the fire truck. Trek escort each other or accompany each other, whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Joe List]

Yeah, so they do a lot of that. There's a lot less.

[Stavros Halkias]

They gotta make paramedics their own division with their own cars. So firemen can hang out.

[Joe List]

I think so. I think it's better.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's better. And also, you want a fireman around the junkie. There's no. I got. I got a. I got a hunch. They don't have the most, like, their views on junkies aren't they're not giving them the most grace. They're like fucking kicking them. They're like, get up, you piece of. I was playing Diablo 3 and. And I had a Stouffer's lasagna in the. In the toaster oven. And you it up for me.

[Joe List]

Well, the people they should send is the cops to throw them in the slam. People. It's enough already. No bail, don't pass. Get out of here. You up?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Joe's becoming more conservative after moving into Manhattan.

[Joe List]

Lock him up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your classics, downtown Republican.

[Joe List]

You know what's sad is the rain. It used to snow. It doesn't snow. This should be snow. It's raining. I got wet feet, which I remember last year I came, you gave me socks, which I still wear.

[Stavros Halkias]

You want some? Something more socks?

[Joe List]

No, no, that's all right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'll give you more socks. Well, last time was my fault. I had taken a shower before you got here. You were really mad at me. And you know what? I deserve it.

[Joe List]

But there's no more snow. No white Christmas. And I mean, I'm having a white Christmas because I live in Battery Park City.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean?

[Joe List]

That could be a cocaine or a racial makeup joke. But I want. Don't you miss the snow? Don't you think of snow and Christmas together?

[Stavros Halkias]

Snow, Christmas, December. This is the best time for snow. Afterwards, it's like, if it snows in like January and February, you're like, fuck this, this sucks. It's gray.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

All you're thinking of is the slush. You're thinking about your commute. Commute. But if it's snowing on a week that you're just gonna be home anyway.

[Joe List]

Yeah, it's.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's so beautiful to just let the. The little sprinkles fall down. You're drinking hot cocoa.

[Joe List]

It's beautiful. Yeah, it's the best.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you gonna go to mass?

[Joe List]

I gotta go to Massachusetts. We. First we go to Texas and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Joe List]

Because Sarah's family's there. And for some reason it's opposite of.

[Stavros Halkias]

A Christmas vibe right there.

[Joe List]

I know, Hot. It's very fresh. Because the last few Christmases we did here in New York and now we have a one and a half year old and they're like, we're going back to Texas. I. Great.

[Stavros Halkias]

The one and a half year old buys you three years of New York, I would think.

[Joe List]

Well, that's what I said. I put my foot down. Like next year we're doing New York. Cuz now he doesn't know Anything about Santa? He's a year old. He doesn't really give a. He doesn't know what the hell's going on. But next year, I'm like, I'm not telling my son that Santa will find our Airbnb in the Hill Country. It's like, come on, that's crazy. Like, you want to have a Christmas with decorations and the. So next year, I think we're going to have morning Christmas. Easy. In New York. York, yeah. And hopefully no family comes. And then as soon as we're done in Texas, we fly back to New York and then drive to Massachusetts for that New Year's week. We do New Year's Eve and have Christmas.

[Stavros Halkias]

All that travel sucks.

[Joe List]

It's a lot of travel, especially with the baby.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I say you fake something, you make some kind of illness happen.

[Joe List]

Yeah, that's not bad. Maybe I'll try to do that. Well, we're going to Austin so I can get some.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Joe List]

Some gigs in some stage time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, never mind. Yeah, I take it back.

[Joe List]

Yeah, it's totally worth the podcast while I'm there and, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, I see what this lock them up stuff is about.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're trying to get on record. You're trying to get a good. You're trying to do Kill Tony with Jordan Peterson.

[Joe List]

I got to stay in over there. You go where the money is. Go where the money is. Trump is misunderstood. The guy can run a business. The country.

[Stavros Halkias]

The country's like a business, you know, similar. You know how your bosses always love you and want what's best for you and never you over.

[Joe List]

Of course this guy can run a business. Business was good during his time period, you know, and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fuck, that's so fucking funny to be. Yeah. Just throwing a couple gigs on Christmas. That's how I. I mean, this is the first time I'm not working, basically until Christmas Day. Like, I realized. I forgot last year I was gonna get my mother a cell phone, and I just realized an entire year went by and I did not get it for her for Christmas because I was just. I was promoting. My special was last year, right? Yeah, damn. Last. That's crazy. It was only a year ago.

[Joe List]

I'm gonna watch it at some point. I watched your special because I use the same guys you use.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, those guys are great. Those guys are awesome.

[Joe List]

Willie and the other guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Joe List]

Willie. You never meet a Willie. You never meet, like, Willie.

[Stavros Halkias]

Willie and Derek.

[Joe List]

Willie and Derek. Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep. Yeah. White Willie. White. I honestly, Derek could go 50. 50 too.

[Joe List]

I suppose so. My best friend is Derek. So that. That. That just feels very. So white.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you.

[Joe List]

Yeah, I'm one of these guys. This is my best friend.

[Stavros Halkias]

What is this, a TV movie? Yeah.

[Joe List]

What are we a community college?

[Stavros Halkias]

For sure. Interesting. Interesting. But yeah, shout out to Willie and Derek Originator.

[Joe List]

Those guys are awesome. And I'm gonna. Mine's gonna come out in the spring, I think. Oh yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Awesome. Hell yeah, dude.

[Joe List]

Wait, what were we talking about though? The movie. Oh, Holiday. Oh, you're not working. Oh, the mother of cell phone. That's what I want to ask. How do you buy someone a cell phone? Cuz don't you have to plug it in and get all the thing. Or can I bring the. If I want to get Sarah a phone, can I buy a phone, give it to her in the box and then. Then she just goes to the Apple Store?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you can do that. Yeah.

[Joe List]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm probably going to buy it through my mother's like, you know, comp. Whatever comp. She used like the old person cell phone company. It's like cellular national or some bullshit. And all the phone, like, it's so funny. I went on the website and it's like all the phones are like flip phones with gigantic buttons. And then like they're selling an iPhone from 20 like 17. They're selling the iPhone SE. And then they're selling the newest one, but it's like they don't have. It's just so funny. The. The range of. It's purely. It's not quite the jitter, but I don't know.

[Joe List]

The jitterbug.

[Stavros Halkias]

The jitterbug is like a classic cell phone that they sold on. They would sell it on like infomercials and it was like the buttons were insane. We're like this big. But it's that it's close to that. So I'll go. I'll get that through the website. But yeah, I've just been a bad son. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna try and get a couple more gifts going this year. But you know, it's also like, should you really buy gifts for anyone who's not a child? Child? Well, a little. Like.

[Joe List]

Well, some of us have wives. We're adults. But.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, good point. Yeah, good boy. Yeah. But other than wives and children.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know how to buy another grown man a present.

[Joe List]

Well, I think gifts should be like, I saw this and I thought of you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Joe List]

Like if I was out shop or whatever and I saw, Hey, a Greek.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep.

[Joe List]

Blah. I'd be like, hey, look at this thing. I went, hey, I thought of you. That's how gifts should go. And they should count towards Christmas.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, I like that.

[Joe List]

Yeah. You know, back in June.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a great idea.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You should have a tally mark. And it's like, I found a great gift that you're actually going to get used for. Mark me off. I'm done.

[Joe List]

I've done this before. I mean, I've had this thought before where it comes around to birthday and you don't have a good gift idea, but you're like, remember back in February? I got you. Whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I got you that book.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? I got you that book about. And, I don't know, Bruce Springsteen or whatever you like.

[Joe List]

I do like. Yeah. Books, by the way, are even about, like, nobody reads anymore. People give me books and I'm like, that's hilarious.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's funny, though. You seem like a guy who would read it. Like, in my head, I feel like you're a book guy.

[Joe List]

I still do read, but I literally just came around. I'm so slow and everything to audible, like, reading, listening to books. And I'm like, this is like a game changer.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

And it was all ego because I like having it on the shelf so people can see how well read.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Joe List]

And I still like to read, but, you know, the phone.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm a. I'm a E reader guy. I read on my Kindle a lot. But I'm with you, too. I've started thinking, like, if I really love a book, I'm gonna buy it solely to display it.

[Joe List]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because books are basically like decoration and proof that, hey, I'm not that stupid.

[Joe List]

Exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know I look stupid. I know. Right now it's only King of the Hill DVDs on my. On my bookshelf. But I also read a couple books.

[Joe List]

You're a smart guy. People think I'm very stupid.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, you're a smart guy, too.

[Joe List]

Well, yeah, I think if I mention anything political, they think because people don't disagree anymore. They just say you're retarded. They don't add their argument or anything. It's just you're retarded and you shouldn't listen to this or read this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

And they just point out what news you watch and then they just move on. They don't engage with any kind of idea.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

They're just like, you're a retard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And you're like, all right, well, you got me. You got me. There Anonymous comment. I suppose I am, but you know, I don't. Also don't want to engage with. I don't want to have a conversation with random people from the Internet either. Call me a fat lib if you must. I don't give a.

[Joe List]

But every once in a while I will and get. Because I just want to take them to a place where I'm like, okay, so you're stupid.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I do.

[Joe List]

Yeah, it's bad. Yeah, it's bad. A guy told me I was a. Oh, man, I almost want to read the dialogue. It's like hilarious. He's like, your political takes are a idiot.

[Stavros Halkias]

It.

[Joe List]

And he's like, you don't know how the world works. And then I kept being like, well, specifically, what do you mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, Give me one example.

[Joe List]

He was like, well, nobody wants to hear about politics. And I was like, okay, but what did I say that was incorrect? And finally he was just like, you're incorrect because nobody wants to hear it. And I was like, well, so that's different.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know. I mean, a lot of times, though, no, don't leave politics out of it. Just means like, I think something that is bad and people judge me for. But I don't want to. I want to just laugh. I don't want to be reminded that, like, my wife, my ex wife won't talk to me anymore. You know, like that's what it boils down to.

[Joe List]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

And how dare you have an opinion and just make me laugh. I. I love when my favorite type is when people like just make me laugh. Like, I don't have to do shit. I'll do whatever. I'll make the worst show of all time. I don't give a fuck. You can suck my dick. I'll be. I'll make a bad podcast just to piss you off.

[Joe List]

Well, also, don't talk about politics means don't talk about politics. I don't agree.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ye.

[Joe List]

I'm like, I could be like a fat lesbian piece of. And you're like. I'm like, I don't know. Trump seems a little weird. Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is interesting. It's only ever that. Yeah.

[Joe List]

I'm like, you know, you know, we've made, you know, Hunter Biden laptop.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

Go crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And by the way, Joe Biden for pardoning the judge that was selling kids to for profit prisons. Hilarious.

[Joe List]

Just truly is a piece on that. I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you'd probably like it because of the ethnicity most of those children were. Now it's time for our Christmas cookie. Try, try, try.

[Joe List]

Nervous. Are any of these chocolate chip?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's true. You have the most. You have the most honky pallet of all time. Now, we here, we have my mother's specialty cookies.

[Joe List]

I'm nervous.

[Stavros Halkias]

You've had them every year for like, five years.

[Joe List]

Well, you bring them to my house.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're the only guy that doesn't like them. That's so funny.

[Joe List]

What's the one in the middle that's powdery.

[Stavros Halkias]

You'll like that. That one's pure butter sugar.

[Joe List]

Okay. Is there some jizz in there?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, unfortunately, there's no jizz for you. We've got a baklava, we've got a kurabier, and we have a melo ma. I don't know.

[Joe List]

Oh, I hate the enunciation.

[Stavros Halkias]

Have one little Jose.

[Joe List]

Just a powdery powder.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sugar and. And. And it's a powdered sugar butter cookie.

[Joe List]

All right, I'm nervous.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, you'll have a great time. Time there. It's a good batch this year.

[Joe List]

I'm not going to bite into this. Into some kind of maple syrup or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no. This one's the syrupy one. You don't like maple syrup?

[Joe List]

I like maple syrup, but I don't want it in a cookie. I want it on a waffle. It's a little hard, no?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, that one's. That one's hard. Oh, man.

[Joe List]

Oh, like really hot Christmas. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That looks soft. Take the brown one. This is a honey.

[Joe List]

I like honey. Honey.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cinnamon spiced. Mmm, that's good shit.

[Joe List]

I'll try that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Joe List]

Very dry.

[Eldis]

That's what the coffee's for.

[Joe List]

It's tea.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, right.

[Eldis]

The brown one will suck your cock. Right, Joe?

[Joe List]

The.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Things on top.

[Stavros Halkias]

Those are walnuts.

[Joe List]

Oh, walnuts.

[Stavros Halkias]

I forgot that Joe has a chicken tenders and Mac and cheese pallet.

[Joe List]

You shame me. You're like, oh, I'm a man of the people. Poor people. And I like the poor people and the thing. But I'm just the wrong color poor person, I guess, right? I mean, like pathetic towards me. You love homeless people and criminals. I grew up with a bunch of white trash Mac and cheese and hot dogs. And I'm like this. Oh, unpalatable retards.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just dip your toes into some other cultures.

[Joe List]

Why can't I be? I go, I've been. I've been to more countries than you have, you son of an onion. I've eaten whale. I've eaten squid. I've eaten the other thing. Reindeer.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, that all came from one country. That all came from Norway.

[Joe List]

So, yes, I've been to Israel. You're probably mad at me. Also been to Kuwait and Iraq. Turkey as part of the military complex. Wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Some cool places.

[Joe List]

You listen the imperialist.

[Stavros Halkias]

You probably had McDonald's on those bases.

[Joe List]

No. As much as you make fun of me, Nate Baratsi, who's improved his diet, he was, like, adamant when we were in Istanbul that he's like, don't you want to take taste? What? McDonald. Turkey McDonald's. And it's like, me and Louie Katz. And when I'm, like, on the side of, like. What, are you out of your mind?

[Stavros Halkias]

Culture. Yeah. Yeah. You're the cultured one. Yeah.

[Joe List]

He's like. But It's a different McDonald. It's, like, unique. We're here for a week. We're here for, like, five hours.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's hilarious. That's where. That's where horseshoe theory is. Because I'm with Nate on that one. Like, that's where. Oh. What does Joe think of my mother?

[Joe List]

Much better.

[Stavros Halkias]

See, that's my mother's specialty cookie. She's so good at those.

[Joe List]

Why didn't you tell me that you got me eating a dry.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because we start there. There.

[Joe List]

This is fantastic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you.

[Joe List]

This is very good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Take a box home for your. For your wife and child as well. I would love for Mario to have a little piece of those.

[Joe List]

I might need a liquid death. This is rough. Not rough, but, you know, I need a beverage.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's rich. I'll just want to get a liquid.

[Joe List]

Death for our guests, if you don't mind. Just a regular. The white one. The.

[Stavros Halkias]

The.

[Joe List]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah. We have. We have them on the counter. Okay.

[Joe List]

Nice. Yeah. Nice warm one would be great. A nice piss warm. If there's a cold one, I'll take it. Jesus. We're all pals.

[Stavros Halkias]

We have Gatorade Zeros in the fridge.

[Joe List]

No, I do think it's unfair that I'm shamed for my. My palate. I. I grew up in a. I'm poor.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that's where you started. I started the exact same way we. I didn't have the only food I ate. The only, like, ethnic food I had other than Greek food, which doesn't really count because that's what I ate. I didn't have tacos till I was, like, 16. Like, all we ate was Chinese food and pizza. Like, carry out Chinese and pizza. That was the exotic food for us. Everything else was Greek food. And so it took me. I Kind of, you know, have been figuring all the. I was scared of sushi. I didn't know what ramen was. Except for the 99 cent.

[Joe List]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Top ramen stuff. And I still think children shouldn't get to have good ramen, by the way. Okay.

[Joe List]

Is that it?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's warm.

[Joe List]

Yeah. What's that?

[Stavros Halkias]

Cold?

[Eldis]

It's like a.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the iced tea.

[Joe List]

I don't need that.

[Eldis]

Couple of these.

[Joe List]

I'll just go water. I'll just go warm water. Thanks for nothing.

[Stavros Halkias]

El. Just bring me a Gatorade. Zero, please. Which one? I'll go blue, actually. Thank you. No, but we all have. We all actually came from the same palads that I think we all have. Trash palette. Elder still exhibits trash palette.

[Eldis]

I do.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, I'm.

[Eldis]

I'm varied, but, you know, nothing like some chicken tenders, some Mac and cheese. Just plain food, no bones. Like, easy. Yeah.

[Joe List]

Just give me some saw. I can. I want food I can swallow.

[Stavros Halkias]

You must have been a KFC Famous Bull fan.

[Joe List]

Well, no, we never did kfc. We were all Burger King and Papagenos. It was all pizza, French fries and spaghetti. Like, spaghetti Mac and cheese? Yeah, very.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Was that the big meal? Like, if it's like. Because we probably did pizza. That was our big. Like, Friday we'd get Pizza Orchard.

[Joe List]

Friday pizza. Yeah, for sure. And, yeah, maybe occasionally tacos.

[Stavros Halkias]

But no, we didn't.

[Joe List]

My family talks about chicken tenders. Sarah always. It's like her favorite thing. They all talk about chicken. Chicken tenders. Like, it's, you know, filet. Like, they're like, have you had. She does the bit all the time. She's like, have you had the chicken tenders at TKO Malley's? Oh, to die for. They're not as good as the one at O'Donnell's. Chicken tenders. Forget about it. It's crazy. You think you died, went to heaven, but the real one is down at Casey McElhenney's Chicken Tenders. That's those ones out of this world.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it runs in the family. What was the. Like, did you have, like a. Where'd you go? Where would you go for, like, a fancy dinner? Like something to celebrate.

[Joe List]

Spaghetti Eddies.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Joe List]

Which I don't think is there anymore. That was like, the big Spaghetti Eddie.

[Stavros Halkias]

Spaghetti Eddie.

[Joe List]

Guess what? You've been good. Yeah. Spaghetti.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know it's fancy when the restaurant rhymes.

[Joe List]

Spaghetti Eddie's was the. And maybe. I mean, I don't even know that. I think that's pretty much it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, we Were a Applebee's and then a Chili's. Family. Family. And then we would mate. We would go to. There was always Greek restaurants. My mom was a waitress in one, so it didn't feel that. But they felt a little. Because they weren't ch. They were the only non chain restaurants we went to. But we knew. You know what I mean? It was like we knew the people who owned them. It didn't feel as special, but they were nicer than, you know. But we were like, Chili's, Bertucci's.

[Joe List]

Yeah, that was a little later we went there. What about Ground Round? Was that national?

[Stavros Halkias]

Didn't have that.

[Joe List]

Ground Round. Maybe that was a local thing. That. That way you could get ice cream in a baseball helmet. That was like the dessert.

[Stavros Halkias]

They were like, let's take ballpark food.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And serve it outside the ballpark.

[Joe List]

That was big. And I was talking about this the other day. My family, like, still bust my balls because my. My grandparents, church friends took me to the Nutcracker once, and I was like, 7 or 8, and I asked if there was a hot dog guy. I was like, is there a hot dog guy? And they still bring it up to, like, the hot dog guy. He thought the hot dog. And I felt, like, shame. I was like, oh, my God, I guess I'm a idiot. And then you look back and you're like, I'd only ever been to Fenway Park. Yeah. Seven years old. Like, the only time I'd ever been in a crowd.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Joe List]

Now as an adult, you look back, you think the idea of the Nutcracker, the guy going, get your hot dogs. Who needs a dog?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe List]

I mean, it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, by the way, I'm sure it wasn't at the Symphony House. I'm sure it was in some. At the Wood, you know, at the, like, community college in. Wherever.

[Joe List]

Oh, no, it was the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, it was the actual. Okay.

[Joe List]

These church folk, they wanted me to be cultured. They're still around, by the way. They're in, like, their late 80s.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Joe List]

Yeah. You'd be fascinated by our family friend Ruby. She, like, lived in Mississippi. Her. Her husband was like, a reverend, and then she, like, tore down the kkk. She has these crazy stories.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so cool.

[Joe List]

Social. Bring her next time with the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Bring her next time.

[Joe List]

Yeah, maybe I'll bring her in. You'd like her.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would like her.

[Joe List]

Know, minorities have it harder and all this. All this crap you're always talking about. She thought the KKK was bad.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. You just. You're just trying to come to a conclusion. You just open minded. You're just asking questions.

[Joe List]

Hey, you know, I'm one of these guys that just ask questions to Milo and Alex Jones and Donald Trump. I'm never really just asking questions to anyone else. They're just trolls.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're just, just trolling. Not a big deal.

[Joe List]

Jake Tapper and Kamala Harris and Jim Acosta. They're never just asking questions or trolling those. They're evil. But I'm apolitical.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I am apol. Yeah. Yeah. Being. That is. Being apolitical is the funniest part of it.

[Joe List]

I'm apolitical. I just like to go hang out with Tucker Carlson and tell everyone how nice he is. I don't really get into politics.

[Stavros Halkias]

I. I'm just having zins with Tucker.

[Joe List]

Exclusively apolitical.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that's. That is very funny. The to hit up the Nutcracker and ask for a hot dog. But I'm with you, by the way. I'm trying to think if they probably. Our school used to take us to like that. Did we see the Nutcracker? I feel like I did as a youth. Maybe my parents took me. But I would have been looking for snacks, by the way. For sure. It's kind of crazy. Yeah, snacks.

[Joe List]

They should have snacks. And I thought like we were in Boston. I got in the car and drove to Boston like I do two times a summer.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Joe List]

And we parked and we went to a thing. So it makes sense to me that there'd be a guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's funny that they're still busting your balls.

[Joe List]

Yeah, they're like this. I tried to do this as a bit too. I went to space Mountain in 1991. I was nine. And then when I got to the top, it was s. The. I don't know if you ever went to Disney. I assume not. It was like, it wasn't. It wasn't like a roller coaster where you sit next to each other. It was like single file. And I wanted to sit with my mother because she was like squishy and fat. I wanted to be like. And so I chickened out and now they're still like Space Mountain this. And I'm like, like, you guys have never left Eastern Massachusetts. Like I've been to like South America many times in the Middle east and yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Burger King in Peru.

[Joe List]

Yeah. I'm like, I've like pursued a career. I'm like, I've done Madison Square Garden. They're like Space Mountain. I'm like, I've been On a helicopter in Baghdad. You.

[Stavros Halkias]

They let me throw a bomb on an orphan orphanage. I got to do it.

[Joe List]

I high five guys that have killed children.

[Stavros Halkias]

What have you done?

[Joe List]

We actually were at Saddam Hussein's house. There was a moment where I was in Iraq with Nate, and we had, like, what, bought Cubans. And there's a driving range at Saddam Hussein's palace.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

Hit golf balls into, like, his hilarious Mecca pool or whatever. And you're like, this feels a little weird.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Joe List]

Glad he's dead. But it feels weird to just be like, take his house and make it a driving. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. This couldn't be a hospital for the people of Iraq. It's a place for soldiers to blow off steam.

[Joe List]

A humidor with Cubans in it. You're like, this feels a little. Little weird.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you know what?

[Joe List]

I forgot. I brought. Before we get into this, I brought a. A delicacy for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Please.

[Joe List]

That's kind of my culture, and I, like, can't wait.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

I'll be right back. I think you're gonna. I think you're gonna, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

I can't wait.

[Joe List]

Hold on.

[Stavros Halkias]

You.

[Joe List]

Can you kill time with.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Joe List]

You'll be all right?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'll be okay.

[Joe List]

I did that bit to. At Rogan show, and he was like, yeah, man. And I was like, no, I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

I was Rogan Louie. And I was like, you guys be all right if I'm not here? Yeah. I'm like, no, I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hilarious. I can't wait to see. Hopefully. It's a roast beef sandwich from Boston. You ever had those Living sell this?

[Eldis]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Next time we're in Boston, we gotta go. They're legitimately awesome, guys. Oh, here we go. Drum roll.

[Joe List]

It's kind of something.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm excited.

[Joe List]

Family. We like it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Joe List]

Okay. Starbucks glazed donuts.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really, dude?

[Joe List]

It's just, you know, nothing fancy. Just glazed.

[Stavros Halkias]

Doesn't even look glazed.

[Joe List]

Just a beige donut with all the glazes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, thanks, man. Let me get a little piece. Let me try a little piece.

[Joe List]

Yeah, Yeah. I gotta wash down this in the spirit of Christmas.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'll have some.

[Joe List]

Yeah. Just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Joe List]

It's pretty good, right? It's called Starbucks, and it's a little. Little startup from Seattle.

[Stavros Halkias]

You want to try some of this, ma'am?

[Eldis]

I'm all right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Joe List]

What, for the boys?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Hey, thanks, man.

[Joe List]

You got it.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's Christmas.

[Joe List]

Yeah. I didn't want you to. I want you to experience a little of my life.

[Stavros Halkias]

You are. You do go to Starbucks more than anyone.

[Joe List]

I know, I go a lot. I love it.

[Eldis]

I love Starbucks.

[Stavros Halkias]

You do?

[Joe List]

It's the best.

[Eldis]

Yeah, you always know what you're getting when you get a cup there.

[Joe List]

Oh my God. And then Christmas time with the red and the green. I mean it's beautiful. It's nicer than my parents house. Every idea starts with a problem. Warby Parker's was simple. Glasses are too expensive. So they set out to change that. By designing glasses in house and selling directly to customers, they're able to offer prescription eyewear that's expertly crafted and unexpectedly affordable. Warby Parker glasses are made from premium materials like impact resistant polycarbonate and custom acetate. And they start at just $95, including prescription license lenses. Get glasses made from the good stuff. Stop by a Warby Parker store near you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Got plans this holiday season but nothing to wear. Yep, been there. Until I decided to step into Express. And I'm so glad I did. They had everything I could ever possibly need. The best suits for upcoming holiday parties. Check. Comfy essentials for quality couch time. Check. The perfect button downs, polos and chinos for my nine to five. Check, check and check. I'm telling you, this trip, trip to express changed my life. Getting dressed has never been easier. Do yourself a favor and head to Express now in store or [e-mail]. well, having this old list family delicacy, I'm ready to bring some wisdom to the callers.

[Joe List]

Absolutely.

[Stavros Halkias]

On this beautiful Christmas Monday. Eldis, what do we got, buddy?

[D]

How you doing, new listener? And I just had a quick question.

[Joe List]

I wanted to see.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe it's just me, maybe it's just.

[D]

Bothering me more, but I live with a couple guys and one of the guys girlfriends has been doing laundry in our apartment for the past good year.

[Joe List]

And a half since we moved in. My original thought was that her laundry was either broken or, or maybe it's always taken. But it's literally every Wednesday and Monday.

[D]

Sometimes once a week at least she'll come over, do our laundry. I do her laundry in our house and you know, use our stuff, use our utilities, whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

But the biggest thing is that there's been times where I'm trying to do.

[Joe List]

My own laundry and his girlfriend's underwear is literally in my washer and I can't do anything.

[Stavros Halkias]

I can't move them. Driver.

[Joe List]

What?

[D]

So am I out of, am I.

[Joe List]

Out of pocket of saying that's not okay?

[Stavros Halkias]

Especially, you know, we all pay rent.

[Joe List]

For that plate and she doesn't, but she uses it.

[D]

And then here you go. Never says thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Never want to hurt. Relax.

[Joe List]

Am I crazy or.

[Stavros Halkias]

Never says thank you for using your one quarter of the washing machine. I mean, look, it's. It's obviously okay to be annoyed if someone is constantly using. These are the perils of having roommates, by the way. Right? Like, it's. It's annoying if you want to use your washing machine and it's taken up. But a guy's girlfriend using the washer, that's like so incredibly to be. Be expect, expected. You know what I mean? It's like, what are you gonna be like? Hey, your. Your only gets to use it when I'm not using it. Like, I. I mean, I would be annoyed, but it's like your utilities. Like, come on. It's. You're like. And you sound a little too. You're a little too bothered by this. Is there other stuff? Is she just annoying? Is her presence annoying? Is there more stuff?

[Joe List]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Because it feels like this can't just be about the long laundry. Especially when he's talking about your utilities and. Thank you. It's like, dude, what the. What do you think? Like, you think you're above this woman because your place has a. A live in washer and dryer? It's like she's dating someone. It's not like this guy lets his friends come in and do laundry all day. It's not like he's charging. He's paying people. You know, people are paying. Do it. Girlfriends just get access to your apartment. That's right. That's not. They're. They're part of the agreement, dude.

[Joe List]

Yeah. I don't know. This sounds very liberal of you. I mean, just. They're homeless. Let them take a. On the subway. Let them take a dump. It's not your subway. It's shared. I mean, I'm with this guy. What's the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you're with him?

[Joe List]

Yeah. Well, I think.

[Stavros Halkias]

And what do you think he should do?

[Joe List]

Well, first of all, he's a better guy than I. He can't touch your panties. Yeah, I mean, I'd be stealing one a week.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. We call those the little. The spoils of war.

[Joe List]

That's exactly. That's a panty.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's. That's. Yeah. Now, unfortunately, they have been washed. That part sucks. But maybe here's what you do. Ready? You poke holes in your Tide pods so that there's no detergent. Maybe you fill the detergent up with blue Gatorade. The blue part, that's not bad. And that way they don't Smell like soap. You kind of still get some pussy smell.

[Eldis]

That's so smart.

[Joe List]

It's really good. That is really good.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah, I don't know. This, this guy, how annoyed he is is so it's too much.

[Joe List]

It's like, but he is asking, am I crazy? So he's, you know, he's not. He's never said anything.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Joe List]

But I think this is a nice boy.

[Eldis]

I think roommate stuff can just fester so easily and a small thing can really like blow up. He does. I agree with you. He sounds like very impassioned in his voice. It's like, bro, this can't be just doing her laundry.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who this can't be. The only issue is my. Is what I'm reading off of this.

[Eldis]

But that being said, like, if it's with such regularity, like if she really is doing it every Monday, Wednesday, it's like, what if it feels like if, if it's so regular, it almost feels like they're doing it on purpose because they know you hate it.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't think it's that. I think it's taking it for like, it would annoy me a little bit to be, be like them taking it for granted. And then on a day where I'm running late and I just want to do my laundry, she's got, you know, a big ass load. That would annoy me. And all I would say is, that's a conversation to have with your roommate.

[Joe List]

I would talk to the roommate. But also I think, is it crazy to say, hey, would you mind throwing a few of my things in there? No, let her do a little bit of his laundry. Yeah, she's doing laundry anyways. That would be kind of a compromise to me. It's like, hey, let me throw half my in there.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is fun. You, you're like, I see you're constantly using my laundry. And I raise you fold a couple of my shirts.

[Eldis]

Oh, hey, I was just about to throw some stuff in, but if you're using it, could I just throw a couple of my underwears covered in jizz in there with you? No big deal, right?

[Joe List]

Would you do some of my load?

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah, I mean, the, the like you need to. The things you need to work on is feeling like you need to be thanked because the guy's girlfriend, it's not his homeless friend trying to get his feet. You know what I mean? Like, who's like, thank you so much for giving me some shelter. Like, it's like, and your utilities are not a big deal. Whatever the fucking Water is used to do, you know, laundry. What I would say is if it's. You can ha. If it gets too much to the point where you feel like you can't do laundry. Laundry, truly that's a conversation to have with your roommate. But even still, it's like, is it that, like, if this was your roommate and not his girlfriend, would you get annoyed? Because if the answer is no, if they're not on the aggregate doing more than what a roommate, the amount of laundry a roommate should do, then you kind of have to let this go. Because whether it's his girlfriend or not, I feel like girlfriend girlfriend is a protected class. Under a roommate, they pretty much get to, you know, they get to use utilities. Especially if it's like once a week. Like, I know once a week is annoying. The regularity is annoying. But is once a week that often? Is it that much of your life? You know what I'm saying?

[Eldis]

I think so. I could see getting annoyed at that. If it's a week, who gives a. I don't know.

[Joe List]

Well, how much more does people do laundry? What you gonna be doing five days a week?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, that's what I'm saying is like. But also, yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's like, I get, I get maybe you could have a conversation to be like, hey, can she do her laundry at a time that you will never do laundry? Like, could you have a conversation with a roommate to be like, hey man, this is a little annoying. I kind of want to use the. These times are really bad for me. This is when I do laundry. Can she do it X date? You know what I mean? Like, if this is going to be a regular thing thing, then let's treat it like a roommate dispute and be like, this is her time to do laundry or whatever the. You know what I mean? If it's that crazy.

[Joe List]

But may I add this also the thing about her not saying thank you. I don't think he needs a thank you for everything. I don't think he's an. I think that builds up after a while. Cuz you're like, at least right? It'll be nice if at least she went, oh my God, thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is so nice.

[Joe List]

You're sa to use someone's laundry every day and never be like, hey, thank you. I know, whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe List]

So I think that probably just it built and built and built. And then he added that the thank.

[Stavros Halkias]

You would be nice for sure.

[Joe List]

Thank you would be nice on her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Part if I was. Well, if I was counseling her, I would say, hey, this could be kind of annoying. Just be gracious about it. Maybe get the guy a Starbucks donut every once in a while. Like, you know what I mean? Like, and I get it on her part, like, this could be. She could be more thankful. That. And that would make this a non issue whatsoever.

[Joe List]

Exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

But at the same time, if I was like, I guess to put myself in her shoes, if I was like using my girlfriend's laundry all the time, I would probably be a little more. She probably just. He probably just doesn't like this girl that much and she's doing something a little annoying and it just festers over time. And I would tell you, this just goes. Personally, I think this just falls under the annoyance of having roommate category.

[Joe List]

Right, right. Like work harder, bootstraps.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. This just is. It's. It doesn't sound that crazy. It's definitely annoying. You're right to be annoyed. But it seems to me like it falls within the like. Sucks to have roommates, bro. Sometimes you're. Sometimes like when you have to do laundry, your roommates are going to be in the laundry machine. And I think it just annoys you because you just. You might just not like how often his girlfriend's over. That's a. That's another roommate thing. It's like if she's over the amount that. It's like, this is an extra roommate. You know, you could have the conversation of, like, she needs to be paying rent, but if it's the. If it's a once a week thing, you're not there and it's just annoying.

[Joe List]

Also, steal the panties. Steal their panties. Take a pair of underwear and hang them in your.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sell them.

[Joe List]

Yeah, sell them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sell them. You know what I mean? Say create an AI generated, you know, Waian with big tits. Pretend you're her.

[Joe List]

Her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Make a Instagram and then say they're her panties and sell them and make a quick buck.

[Joe List]

100%.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think we solved it. I think we solved it. What else we got? Eldis? Oh, what's that? Holy. Do you hear that? Joe? You hear that? You hear that music? What the hell? Where are we going? Is it. Is it time for the twisted teeth, twisted ass question of the week or whatever it is? We're still working on the name, so we have a particular. And I know you're a sober man, but not anymore, baby, I bet every time you lay eyes on a twisted tea, you really rethink those. You got years of sobriety.

[Joe List]

Well, that was my Drink of choice. Of course.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were a twisted guy.

[Joe List]

Nothing like cracking a twisted tea and watching some WWF wrestling. Those are my two things. I would joke Republican. Watch wrestling and drink twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's keep it apolitical for the sponsors, Joe. This is where we are. Apolitical when it comes time to promote the product of our pals over at Twisted Tea. So, Eldis, what is the twisted ass question of the week, man.

[D]

Hey, Stavi, longtime listener, first time caller. I'm in a bit of a situation.

[Stavros Halkias]

So the holidays are coming up, obviously.

[D]

And Thanksgiving just passed. So Blackout Wednesday had occurred and I hooked up with my ex girlfriend of like three years removed. Like really messy breakup.

[Stavros Halkias]

Keeping it twisted. Yeah, baby, my boy's keeping it twisted as hooking up with an ex on Thanksgiving Wednesday. That is some twisted behavior.

[Eldis]

Three years.

[Stavros Halkias]

Three years. You're just out of the woods three years after a messy breakup. It's like, ah, I'm finally totally free. And then you fucking re up. Salute. Man. That's a twisted maneuver right there.

[D]

Ears remove. Like really messy breakup. Everything. Like poured sugar in my gas tank.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, my God. I have a life ruining act. This bitch did domestic terrorism to you and you fucked her life.

[Joe List]

Ruining it.

[Stavros Halkias]

The must have been out of this.

[D]

World and I hooked up with her again. And now I'm kind of addicted.

[Stavros Halkias]

So dumb. I don't know if I should see.

[Joe List]

It through, you know, bring it back to Christmas.

[D]

Am I losing my mind?

[Joe List]

But man, she's just so hot.

[D]

And it's a little bit of a dry spell as well. So I just don't know what to do.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, that's really what it is.

[D]

I'd love your advice. Thank you very much. Much.

[Stavros Halkias]

Goodbye. Okay, pal, you kept it way too twisted. That's the thing about keeping it twisted. You twist it a little bit. You've twisted it. You've twisted it all round and around and around. You gotta untwist, brother. You're too twisted right now. This is nuts, dude. She poured sugar in his gas tank. She destroyed his car. It sounds like maybe she's improved though.

[Joe List]

It's been three years. Maybe she's been seeking help, getting therapy.

[Stavros Halkias]

I suppose it doesn't sound like it, though. I mean, it just sounds like. By the way, this shows you how, like, hilarious. How truly like, powerless young men are. Where it's like, he said all this stuff and then at the end he's like. And I'm in a bit of a dry spell. Which is right. The true reason all of this happened. Of course, like it's like you just get a guy have not having sex for eight months and he's like, maybe the girl that ruined my life but sucked dick incredibly. Maybe it's time to re up with.

[Joe List]

Her a life ruining. Ruin the life. Get her over here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Bring her in. Yeah, dude, I mean, you're so, so stupid. You've made a huge error because you have no self discipline and can't, can't just try and break through a dry spell. Honestly, it's like we've. I think we've used this metaphor before. Where, where it's like, it's like you're thirsty and you go back to a well that someone took a fat shit in and you're like, at least there's some water in here. You know, where what you should have been doing is getting a fresh twisted tea.

[Joe List]

There it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Instead of poisoned water from the well of the insane X, you should have cracked open a delicious twisted tea. Brewed with real iced tea, by the way, and 5% alcohol by volume. One of the finest game day drinks you could possibly have have. That's what you should have reached for, not for the proverbial poisoned well of your insane ex. You've made a huge mistake. You need to back out. It's Christmas Monday, right now. Do not fuck this girl again. Get out. You've made a mistake. This will be hard. You are addicted. You will go through, you know, head withdrawals from this woman. It's just. Unless we're missing something, which I don't think we are.

[Joe List]

No, it doesn't seem like it. I mean, poured sugar in the gas is a crazy move. You're like, you broke up with me. That's crazy. Crazy. Here's sugary, like, I'm gonna ruin your car.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're out, you know, anywhere from 5 to $40,000 because of this woman. It's like, come on, man, you know.

[Joe List]

It in your voice. You can hear it. You're saying it. You're not like, oh man, I'm so happy to be back with this girl.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's gone to a lot of. He, he didn't say any of the stuff you might have speculated where it's like, yeah, I'm not saying it's not possible. For if this person was going through a, like, psychotic break and they've gotten help and whatever, and even then, then I would be like, good for her. Let her, let her fix her life with the next guy. It ain't going to be me.

[Eldis]

I think he can totally keep it very twisted here and just her again over the Christmas holiday.

[Stavros Halkias]

Here's why you're keeping it too twisted, Eldis.

[Eldis]

Here's why he. The damage is already done. They already on Thanksgiving.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you, you smoked crack one time. What's three more times over the holiday? Holidays. You know the holidays. You know the holidays when people don't have any mental health issues, suicides don't go up or anything like that. This is the time to mess around.

[Joe List]

To stick with the theme of the show. Well, I think year 11 of the Iraq war, I think this one, this is the year we crack through a few hundred thousand more.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's get a couple more troops in there. This is where the tide turns.

[Eldis]

I think you can her once or once or twice more times before New Year's and because the holidays, the holidays are kind of like that in between thing. You could still make a clean cut and like, you know, just, just get it in while, while you're like home for the holidays and just shake it off after that. This isn't crack. This is just some warm and fuzzy.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're right. It's heroin, it's pills, it's not crack. I, I know what you're saying and I'm not. I do think there is a, like it's the whole thing of. Are you really going to start a diet on December 20? Probably not. Having said that, get. Once you give yourself permission to just lean in, it can get dangerous.

[Joe List]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like that. All I'm saying is the quicker he cuts this off, the better. And if he takes a little couple more suckles of that forbidden teat, he might get too addicted to cut it off. Dude. That's all I'm saying. The quicker. If this is a one time thing, it's a lot easier to stop than if it's a three time thing. In my experience with this literal issue.

[Joe List]

Like can I say this every episode I'm on when it comes to advice. Have you ever heard of jerking off? I don't get it. One of these people just beat off. It's like absolutely a dry spell.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

I have a kid. We go a week without. Yeah, beat off. It's like just beat off, jerk off, put some porn. It's never been easier.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Joe List]

Get some lube, put something in your search Toxic X.

[Stavros Halkias]

They'll have a that looks exactly like yours. Like you'll be fine. Dude.

[Joe List]

Yeah, you could probably put sugar in the gas tank. Porn.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. A lady woman who ruined my life.

[Joe List]

So just go beat off for Christmas.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, go beat off for Christmas. And that's the twisted ass question of the week. Oh, yeah. You gotta remember to keep it twisted, everyone.

[Joe List]

Nice. Whoa. That was impressive.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pretty cool, right?

[Joe List]

That was really cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, Aldous. Well, we kept it twisted. What else can we do for our pals?

[D]

So I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now, and I met him through Tinder. I've been keeping a humongous secret from him that he most definitely would not have matched and met up with me if he knew.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[D]

I'm missing a tooth. I have a retainer that has a tooth in it. And. And alone or, like, around family or like the closest of people, I will take the retainer out and eat without it. So my mouth is. And so this entire year, I have been nasty. And every time I eat, I have to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and brush out the retainer. And it's honestly just a huge inconvenience at this point. I've kept it close to my heart because it's hella embarrassing. And I just. I feel like enough time has passed that even if he wants to, he can't leave me. If I tell him about the mission tooth, the missing tooth, like, in the front of my face face, nothing cool happened. There was just, like, a dental mishap when I was, like, a teenager and the implant didn't work. They'd take the implant out, like, two years before I met my boyfriend. I just tried to get the implant back in. Another mishap happened. They had to take it back out. And it's another three to six months till I can find out if I can get the tooth back in skin. I feel like the saving grace is the fact there's a chance I will get my tooth back. I feel like I'm hot enough that I can get away with it, but regardless. Oh, come on. I just don't even want. I don't even think I can take it out in front of him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Then, like I said, talking about this is a love.

[D]

Yeah. Be really great. Have your advice of what I should do. If I should just keep on having this annoying, nasty habit of mine with eating with a retainer in. If I should just suck it up and tell my boyfriend that I've been hiding this ridiculous secret from him. Be great if I could get your help. Thanks so much.

[Joe List]

This made me sad.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know.

[Joe List]

Poor lady.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know. She's been with him for. How long did you say all this? A year.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You gotta let this go, toots. This is not a big. This is truly not A big deal. You're already past the point and you're hot. You've been together for a year.

[Joe List]

And guys, I would. A woman, if she was hot and willing to me, she could have no teeth. All her teeth could come out. I would go, okay, you could pull a dick out and I'd be like, oh, wow, crazy. Yeah, suck it. And have her in the ass while holding my ankles. But like, you're totally. I get it. Hey, I got crooked teeth. Invisalign. I took my Invisalign out for this. So I get the thing. But it's fine.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is nothing and I know it. And I. I mean, I literally am the right person to call because I remember feeling this. And even as a person who has always looked kind of ridiculous, my job, My job is being fun money. Like, even as somebody who, like. And, And I had. I was toothless publicly for like two years. But that was an accident because I lost the retainer that she has, right? Like, I didn't mean to be toothless. I had for about four months. I was wearing a flipper. And there was one day where I was running late for a show and I took the tooth out to take a nap and I thought I put it. I thought I put. I literally to this day have no idea where, you know where it is. And by the way, that's like, I lost. It's funny. They give you this little ass tooth to put over your thing and it's like I lost my. The tooth in my head. You don't think I'm gonna lose the little tooth that comes out? Like, I'm like, what are you talking about? So I lost it. And then I was running late to a show and I almost thought about canceling. And I was like, what? Who cares? It'll be kind of funny. And I did the thing and it was just like, like so free. And I always hated the way it felt. And I. And it was just. It was. People found it very funny, right? People like, what the. You don't have a tooth. And then I was just like, maybe I'll just. And I just kept doing it and it was incredibly freeing for me. And I'm not saying you're the kind of person, you're not even saying, should I get rid of the tooth and go about my normal day to day life? You're saying in intimate moments where I'm sharing a meal with my boyfriend of one year year, can I take my tooth out? The answer is yes. I remember even back then I would take my tooth Out. And it was funny. It was funny to see my friends react. I don't know if we ever had lunch. When I took it out, I definitely did it for the soda. And he was like, what the. Sam? It was funny. Seeing the first time people see it is funny, Right? Yeah. Come clean to him. Be like, hey, I had some dental surgery. I didn't want to tell you.

[Joe List]

He.

[Stavros Halkias]

He'll probably be like, why didn't you tell me sooner?

[Joe List]

Yes. And it'll make you guys both feel closer. It feels good to be in on a thing you feel. Feel intimate. Men are desiring deeply, desiring connection.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I agree.

[Joe List]

And all the time I feel good when somebody confesses something to me because I feel like, oh, it's a very toxic masculinity world we're brought up in.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

So to be invited into something that's, that's, that's kind and sweet.

[Stavros Halkias]

I agree.

[Joe List]

The best sex of your life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

And the longer you're together as someone that's been with a woman for 75 years.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

You can use this. Eventually he'll be like, take your tooth out. It'll be like, you're a crackhead. I remember Sarah and I were in Paris and I was like, we should get cigarettes because that's what you do in France. And she had like the nastiest smoker breath and it was like hot. Like, made me come. Because it's anything different. I was like, yeah, nasty mouth. I'm into that. You know what I mean? Any kind of different.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah, it's good.

[Joe List]

So I agree. Good.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're hot. And this actually what you said, it's like, it did. This does make me sad. You shouldn't feel this worried to just admit. Because it's a medical mishap.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not you. It's not like anything. And whatever it is, it's like you should be able to those closest to you, basically you. That you're. Maybe some of the anxiety too is she said like the only people that she brings this up are like family people really close to her. And at about a year, you're kind of deciding, is the person I'm dating going to cross over into like the most important people in my life? That can be kind of nerve wracking psychologically too. To be like, this is going from like a fun little, you know, a fun little relationship of a year under to like getting really serious. And this is kind of a symbol of it getting kind of serious. So it's like if it's feeling Good. Go for it. It'll be freeing for you. It'll feel. I think it'll bring you guys together. And if he's the kind. If he's the kind of weirdo that's like, ew, you. You lied to me. You don't want this guy in your life.

[Joe List]

Exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because, like, this is gonna come up. That's a little embarrassing. Like, if you can't be turned to your partner for that comfort when some trainee dentist your. Your implant up, who can you turn to? You want someone who's going to be there for you in your embarrassing moments or who don't even see them as embarrassing. So this is good either way.

[Joe List]

Yeah, he's not going to care. My wife was born without lips. It's fine.

[Stavros Halkias]

With the big accident where she was getting. They delivered her by her lips and they pulled them off.

[Joe List]

Totally gone. I haven't been a jar.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. I'll just keep it going. Hey, stop.

[D]

I never thought I'd actually call you, but big fan of the podcast. I'm just calling because my wife, who. Who I love so much, we've been together since almost like 16 years. I'm 33. We just had a baby boy. He's about 7 months old, and everything's going amazing. But my wife is definitely feeling self conscious about her body and definitely try to affirm how she's feeling all the time. I get her flowers and, you know, be as supportive and loving as humanly possible. But, you know, obviously she's working it out on her own. But I was just curious if you had some advice on ways to help her feel more beautiful and. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I guess I'm just trying everything just to help her feel better and that's nice.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's sweet.

[D]

Make her feel as beautiful as she is. So. Yeah, I appreciate it so much. And thanks for the thought. Later.

[Joe List]

Oh, this guy's like, too sweet. Have fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. I say, here's what I would do. I would say have her catch you beating off to, like, young women with huge tits and be like, this is what you look like to me. This. You look like this to me, babe. Yeah. I don't even care that your shit's wrinkly and flappy. To my. In my head, you look like them. I think she'd love that.

[Joe List]

I think that's done. Perfect. Perfect. Worst of all, the best part is he says, my wife like Borat. He's like, my wife.

[Stavros Halkias]

A short, solemn Borat impression.

[Joe List]

Yeah, my wife. And no, it's interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, you're Reese. You have. How old is. How old's little mart?

[Joe List]

He's like 14 months. Okay. Double the age of this dork.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

I mean, my.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think my.

[Joe List]

My wife feels gummy. She's always a little stuff. But there's no for my end. There's only so much you can do. You can't say people. Everybody thinks they're gross and disgusting and it doesn't matter.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Joe List]

Like, anyway. And a million people could say, you're hot, I'm into you. You're still gonna be like, nah, they're just trying to be nice. So keep doing what you're doing. But ultimately it is on her to feel better about herself. You can't make anyone change their perspective. Perspective. And you're attracted to her, you're kind, and you got bigger fish to fry anyways. Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

The baby. Sure.

[Joe List]

So just keep being, you know, loving and supportive. It is funny, though, because he's like, she's self conscious about her body and I try to affirm how she's feeling, which is funny. He's like, I do my best to make sure she's. Stay in the gym. But yeah, she's also going through. I mean, that first year, she's going through so much and there's so much stress and pressure of the baby. So just keep telling her she looks great, keep fucking and saying you want to fuck. I think that's important.

[Stavros Halkias]

And even if you're getting like, that's a great point about that first year. Like, I can't even. It seems so tough, like post pregnancy and a lot of people deal with postpartum depression and it's a weird time hormonally and like, your mental health can be weird. So all you can really do is just be there for her and like, give her some. Cut her a tremendous amount of slack.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because she might, you know, who knows how it affect pregnant postpartum affects everybody differently. And yeah. Don't take it. Just be there for her. Don't take it personally if like, you know, you're trying to. If, if, like, if this call is boiling down to my wife doesn't think she's hot enough, so she's not giving me. If that's the subtext.

[Joe List]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Then, like, you might just not that much that year. You know what I mean? Like, it might just be a year where it's like getting rejected. Might. The fact that you're making advances makes her feel good. She might still not want to have sex. Like, it's just like you. I Think that's really what it is. Keep being supportive and understand that like you just got to cut her some slack in the, in the first year post pregnancy and you know, that's a general rule in your, in a relationship, as long as it feels equitable. Give each other some grace, cut each other some slack. You know, there might be times where you're feeling weird, you know, she's feeling weird post baby. You're probably gonna get fat and like you're 40, you know what I mean? You're probably gonna go bald or something and go fat and get fat. What, whatever. Then she'll be there for you for that. You know, just, just keep being a nice supportive guy and, and cutting her some slack because. Yeah, it must feel strange. And, and, and most babies, I know you and Marty got a good thing going. He really, he really likes being around his dad. But a lot of babies are like attached to their mom.

[Joe List]

Right. Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like that's the other thing. Like is she dealing with that? Because I have friends of mine that's just been so overwhelming for them.

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That they don't feel like they have a second to themselves that it's like she might get an hour every night like to just chill out and she might not want to like hear about how hot she is and get you trying to get your dick sucked in that hour. She might just want to like chill so you know, keep an eye. So you know, let her get away with it two, three times. And after that be like a man has needs.

[Joe List]

Right. That's what I, I do. Film.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let her catch you scrolling on escort websites. She'll change your tune real fast. Let's do a couple more here. Joseph, please.

[D]

Hey Stavi. Hey Eldis. I absolutely love your guys podcast. I have a little bit of a weird question today, but I think you can help me out. So my sister works with somebody, not gonna name names, but he's about 30 years old and I know him, I went to high school with him and his now wife. And my sister has been telling me that he's having an affair with one of the 18 year old girl. 18 year old receptionist that worked there and stop and blah blah, blah. And I know this guy's wife from high school as well, but we weren't really ever friends. I never really talked anything. But you know, my sister is telling me about how like he takes her out on dates all the time. This, this girl that he's having an affair with takes her out on dates and brings her flowers and it's like this Whole contentious thing because they're not supposed to be dating, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, so my question, well, he's not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Supposed to be dating the 18 year old subordinate out of his marriage.

[Joe List]

Hilarious.

[D]

Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, so my question is, do I say something to the girl that I wasn't really friends with in high school? I see her make posts on Facebook sometimes about, I don't know, just, you know, the sad girl stuff, like, oh, like I wish, you know, someone would do more for me. Kind of like hinting that her husband is kind of like a little broke ass bitch and doesn't take care of her and her two kids. So I'm just wondering, do I stir the pot and do I tell this girl or do I leave alone? Part of me kind of wants to stir the pot a little bit, but also I just feel bad for her too. Like, she wasn't ever a rude girl. We just weren't really friends in high school. She's really nice. I feel bad for her two kids and her kind of just being left to the wayside. So let me know what you guys think if I should blow the spot up or what. Anyway, have a great day. Thanks for all the advice. You guys are amazing. Bye.

[Stavros Halkias]

What are you, Batman? What are you, a vigilante here?

[Joe List]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is not. Look, I don't even. I don't even trust that your intentions are pure, I think, at all.

[Joe List]

Stir the pot.

[Stavros Halkias]

You've used the phrase stir the pot twice. You gotta want a little action, a little drama. If this was a close friend, that's different. You don't know this person at all. If it wasn't for Facebook, this is where we have access to each other too much. If it wasn't for Facebook, you wouldn't. Wouldn't even think. This wouldn't even be a person you think you remember exists. You know what I mean? This is not someone in your life. What this guy's doing is shitty for sure. But it's like, do you really want to get in the middle of this?

[Joe List]

Yeah, you're gonna ruin her life. You're not doing a certain, like she's. You're gonna ruin everyone's life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, who knows? It's just like, it's such a variable. And who are you to mix this up exactly?

[Joe List]

You know, this is none of your business.

[Eldis]

This sounds like some hometown intrigue where it's just like, oh, you tell the girl, then you hit your other girlfriends from high school. It's like, look at this screenshot.

[Stavros Halkias]

I told her.

[Eldis]

And it just feels Exciting to, like, have such a juicy gossip.

[Stavros Halkias]

The thrill, the sick thrill in her voice. Like, if she was somber, I might think about it a little bit. If she was like, this is a tragedy. I feel for these kids. I have an extra spare room that she could move it. Like, are you gonna help her through this or are you just gonna drop the. Are you gonna be a marriage America, destabilize the region and then leave? You know what I mean? Like, what are you really gonna do?

[Eldis]

Saying she was never a to us in high school doesn't warrant a mercenary snitching.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, dude, it's like, again, this is your close friend. If this is somebody you're gonna support through this, that's one thing. And it's also like, you don't even know what's going on. I mean, not say, you probably have a good idea. This guy does not sound like a good person. But you also have no idea what the going on in this relationship. Relationship. You have no idea what's going on in their home. And the fact that you're just a. You're like a passerby that's trying to inject themselves into the fucking narrative here.

[Joe List]

Well, also, like, I read a lot of stuff about current affairs and psychology and teenage girls are committing suicide at a high rate. They're cutting, they're overweight. This guy is making this young teenage girl feel good. He's her. He's offering her companions. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Sophisticated older man.

[Joe List]

Just another statistics.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's doing a community service here. You're so right. He's a mentor.

[Joe List]

He's probably keeping her off of meds and everything. Most TE girls are struggling with self esteem. And this one's getting bald, middle aged.

[Stavros Halkias]

Guy going to DJI Fridays, getting whatever she wants off the Jack Daniels menu.

[Joe List]

Yes. So I think he's. I think he's first class. And you don't want to break that up. He's got two women. It's better than one.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is a good point though. It's like you don't even think about this, like, dumb little kid who's so. She's like falling under the spell of some middle manager because it's the first guy who's been like, hey, see you want to take a ride in my whatever Lincoln he has. Yeah. Anyway, so, you know, don't do anything. You're a fuck. You're being a busybody. This is not a close friend of yours. This is just someone you're tangentially aware of.

[Joe List]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And unless you're Willing to, like, support her through a divorce. Don't. Yeah, don't. Don't inject yourself into this.

[Joe List]

Go volunteer somewhere. Yeah, you stir the pot that way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, Right, right, right, right, right, right. There's probably other people with shittier situations that could use some help other than you. Yeah. What you're doing with that, you're. You're trying to excuse being a gossip through, like, being an altruistic person.

[Joe List]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like. And in fact, you know what? If you volunteer to Soup kitchen for 40 hours, you can do this. Like, we can. We can trade off. We can trade off. If you do enough good, you can do a little harm. My guess is you'll never buy the that much.

[Joe List]

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[Stavros Halkias]

What do you think, El? There's one more to. To see us off here.

[Joe List]

Beautiful.

[Stavros Halkias]

We don't want to take up too much of Joseph's time.

[Joe List]

I got to get back. It's Dar's time. Really?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe List]

Back to her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Joe's like, keep it going. We can do three hours.

[D]

Stavros, it's me, Scott.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, Scott.

[D]

Love the podcast. Love you, Love Elvis. You guys, chemistry is beautiful because I have a very similar best friend situation. Anyways, simple question. So over the years, I've used to celebrate Christmas and the holidays, everything like everybody else. You buy presents, we open them on Christmas day, blah, blah. Now I'm pretty anti present. I don't want presents. I don't want to give people presents. You know, let's just let the days pass by.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. But I understand it sounds depressed.

[D]

So what do you recommend I do? Should I just get, you know, presents for my parents, presents for my brothers? Should I just not get any presents at all?

[Stavros Halkias]

What?

[D]

Not expecting presents at all as well. Even though I'm probably going to get some anyways.

[Joe List]

This is so.

[D]

Yeah, just let me know.

[Joe List]

And can I just say that you have to have this discussion with the people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

You can't just, like, take a stab at it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, Right.

[Joe List]

And be like, no present.

[Stavros Halkias]

I've decided no present.

[Joe List]

Like, you have a Conversation with them and you say, hey, money's a little tight, right? Whatever it is. You can't just do your own thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can we do secret. This is why people do Secret Santa. So. So instead of 20 presents, everyone's responsible for one present.

[Joe List]

Or a Yankee swap.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, or Yankee swap.

[Joe List]

Whatever it's called. Elephant.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. Blue white elephant. So, yeah, I get it. We even said, like, I even said, like, it's weird to buy presents for adults. Like, you know, I. For kids, it's fun. Like, I totally get, you know, if there's kids in your life, whatever. But it's like, I still get presents for my family. It's like, it's a little. Sure, it can be a bit of. If you're busy and money's tight, whatever. It can be a little annoying. But fundamentally, it's nice to do and you have to have this conversation with the people. More. More than anything, though, if I am alarmed, this guy sounds like he wants to. Yeah, it's like, I used to. I had a best. Like, he even started, like, wistfully recounting that he has a best friend. Like. Or the. Is that relationship? Okay, and why are you anti present? Why don't you want presents? Are you just depressed, buddy? Because, honestly, Christmas is commercialized and whatevers. It's become still nice to see a family member open up a present they like. That little moment of magic is still nice. I mean, again, it's compounded when it's like a little kid that's really cute, but it's like, get your parents something. Doesn't have to be big. I mean, it's. We're literally describing the basic tenants of holiday joy to him. But it's like the phrase is the thought that counts is true. Like, spend some time thinking about the people you love. You love the people in your life that are important to you. Just coming up with something that's good for them. It'll. You'll be thinking about them. You won't be thinking about, you know, how everything. How all the gambling losses you've accrued that you're probably depressed about, whatever, the wife. Your wife leaving you, whatever is going on to make you suddenly anti present. It just sounds like you're on Grinch mode right now, dude, and you need to be the Grinch at the end of the movie, not the Grinch at the beginning of the movie. So buy a couple presents, man. And then next year, have the discussion. Like Joe said, hey, can we do a Secret Santa? Can we do a, you know, swap game? Whatever. Can we just do something so that we're not all buying a hundred present presence, but all you've said is your parents and your brother. That's like three people. Yeah, three to five people. You can't handle three to five, 40 gifts.

[Eldis]

I mean, I feel his pain a little. I mean, I get like so bogged down when I think of presents. It's like, you know, two weeks, one week before Christmas you're like, oh, what do I get them? What do I get them? And it's okay to like, don't be so hard on yourself either. Like I said, like, get something small and like some, some, like, some years you might just be really into it and might be on a roll with getting presents for people. And other times like it's, you know, you're not getting really anything and it just isn't a big deal.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not a big deal, man, but it's way weirder to just have this to come to Christmas with an un unannounced anti president philosophy where it's like literally get them a shitty present and they'll be like, oh, okay, right, it's fine. As opposed to like, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm anti present. I don't want your stinking presence here. You know what? I'm getting you whatever you gave me. Here, it's yours now. Mom, here's a trimmer for your balls. I don't want it.

[Joe List]

Well, yeah, and I think give your family and friends the gift of your own mental wellness. Like you gotta go go to therapy again. There's no mention of monetary struggles. Just like I know this is dickish, but I'm not into presence right now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you're acting out sad. Yeah, you're sad and you're upset. This is like a toddler being like, I don't like Christmas, I don't want to go get. I don't want to have cookies for quick. No, I don't want to see grandma. Like that's what you're doing right now. So it's like whatever you're acting out about, whatever's causing you to turn dickish on Christmas. Christmas, figure that out, brother. That's way more important than like a candle to your mother. Like you, you being mentally well is so much more important. So, you know, really fun one to go out on Eldis.

[Joe List]

Like I said, can we get a sad sack? An empty sack?

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I guess with that we'll send you all off for Christmas. Another bang up producing job for my.

[Eldis]

Eldest Soula, spreading some Holiday cheer.

[Joe List]

I love. I think it was good. Merry Christmas. Today's eddie vedder's birthday. 60 years old. How about that?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Joe List]

Happy 60th to my dear friend.

[Stavros Halkias]

I didn't know he was born on December 23rd.

[Joe List]

Yep. Sure is. December 23rd, 1964. We love you, Eddie.

[Stavros Halkias]

We love you, Eddie.

[Joe List]

Shout out. Supposed to be meeting him at some point.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really?

[Joe List]

Yeah. Bargazi's friends with them. Friendly with him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. Of course. Yeah.

[Joe List]

And did I even tell you that story? I flew all the way to Seattle because Nate was like. He's. It was like four days before Marty was born. My wife is, like, nine and a half months pregnant, and he's like, eddie better's coming if you want to come meet him. And Sarah's like, go, do this. Do this for yourself. She's like, in a wheelchair, and she's like, do it. And I was like, I flew all the way up there, and I was like, here we go, Eddie Vedder, baby. And then the. The guy was. He just was sick, couldn't make it. But then every time I see the tour manager, he's like, he's got. We talked to Eddie's people. They're gonna make it. They know what a tremendous fan you are. So that's awesome that someday me and Eddie will say hello, and he'll be like, who's in?

[Stavros Halkias]

He's like, oh, not, hey, man.

[Joe List]

Yeah, leave.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Joe List]

And I'll be like, we celebrate your 60th on Stav show after some guy wrote his suicide. He's like. I was like, maybe I'll just give away my belongings to my friends and family. I don't need them.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know? Suddenly, I've become more. Much more chipper. The last couple days after making a certain. Well, Merry Christmas to you, happy holidays, happy birthday to Eddie Vedder, and we'll see you guys next time. Bye.