#111 - Ian Lara

Summary

Stavvy's World - Episode #111: Ian Lara
Release Date: January 13, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Ian Lara

---

I. Introduction

Stavros Halkias welcomes listeners back to "Stavvy's World" after a hiatus. Joining him is his longtime friend and guest, Ian Lara. The episode kicks off with casual banter about past episodes and the dynamic within the podcast crew.

---

II. Studio Setup and Sound Engineering ([00:31] - [03:09])

Discussion Points:

• Stav and Ian reminisce about previous guests and the makeshift studio setup in Queens.
• They critique the sound engineering quality, particularly Eldis' handling of microphone adjustments and camera setups.

Notable Quotes:

• Stavros ([02:16]): "The best engineering is there's a lot going on, but the stuff you don't notice."
• Ian Lara ([03:09]): "A good engineer is like God. He's everywhere and nowhere at once in his creation."

Despite their frustrations, Stav and Ian acknowledge the charm and authenticity of recording in a humble apartment setting.

---

III. Comedy and Media Consumption ([03:09] - [12:15])

Discussion Points:

• The trio delves into their fascination with consuming and critiquing poor-quality stand-up specials.
• They discuss how intentionally watching bad comedy serves as entertainment and a form of ironic enjoyment.

Notable Quotes:

• Stavros ([07:17]): "That's so stupid. You need to be funny. The entire job is be funny."
• Ian Lara ([07:47]): "It's the art. It's coming back, brother. It's coming back, brother."

They highlight specific comedians and specials that failed to impress, emphasizing their preference for comedy that prioritizes humor over profundity.

---

IV. Free Speech, Cancel Culture, and Comedy ([12:15] - [22:27])

Discussion Points:

• The conversation shifts to the impact of cancel culture on the comedy scene.
• Stav and Ian express concerns over comedians being pressured to adhere to cultural and political agendas, stifling genuine humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Stavros ([12:15]): "There's not one person who... With, you know, it's just me. I don't even think who I would come up now. It's so hack."
• Ian Lara ([16:00]): "You want to be, I mean, that's the funny thing about that is I like. Because I feel like some comics, they just stay away from it."

They lament the decline of authentic comedic voices, particularly on the political right, and the rise of performers who prioritize cultural relevance over comedic skill.

---

V. Reflections on Movies and Bad Media ([22:27] - [31:15])

Discussion Points:

• Stav, Ian, and Eldis share their experiences watching notoriously bad movies, such as "Scary Movie" and "The Strokes."
• They analyze what makes these films fail and how audiences react to poor-quality media.

Notable Quotes:

• Ian Lara ([22:06]): "He said, good morning, baby. That's tough."
• Stavros ([26:07]): "I don't think I could handle that as an adult."

Their discussions highlight the communal aspect of enjoying bad media, turning shared experiences of disappointment into humorous anecdotes.

---

VI. TV Shows and Comedy Archetypes ([31:15] - [44:22])

Discussion Points:

• The trio compares beloved TV shows like "Seinfeld" and "SpongeBob SquarePants," exploring their enduring appeal.
• They draw parallels between character archetypes in these shows and classic sitcom roles.

Notable Quotes:

• Stavros ([31:15]): "Like SpongeBob might be Jerry."
• Ian Lara ([31:16]): "Like Sandy's like Elaine. That's the SpongeBob of Seinfeld."

They appreciate how these shows maintain relevance through well-defined characters and timeless humor, serving as benchmarks for effective comedy.

---

VII. Personal Life and Family ([44:22] - [70:22])

Discussion Points:

• Stav and Ian discuss their upbringings, family dynamics, and the challenges of being the youngest in large families.
• They reflect on the influence of parental expectations and the transition to independence.

Notable Quotes:

• Stavros ([50:08]): "That was most of it going to see it."
• Ian Lara ([50:31]): "I feel like we're seeing more kids say that now. I feel like kids are pickier now."

The conversation provides personal insights into how family structures and early responsibilities shape one's outlook on life and relationships.

---

VIII. Listener Call 1: Body Image and Relationship Insecurity ([70:22] - [85:21])

Caller: A man expresses insecurity about his weight gain despite his girlfriend's affection for his physique.

Discussion Points:

• The hosts address issues of fat phobia and body image, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance.
• They dissect the psychological aspects of feeling unattractive despite external affirmation.

Notable Quotes:

• Stavros ([76:34]): "You're a piece of... You're being a chief."
• Ian Lara ([81:57]): "He's clearly insecure that you're... you're better than him."

Stav and Ian encourage the caller to focus on his health and self-perception rather than societal standards or a partner's preferences.

---

IX. Listener Call 2: Trust and Infidelity Issues ([85:21] - [100:38])

Caller: A woman discovers her husband texting a coworker "good morning baby" and suspects an emotional affair.

Discussion Points:

• The hosts analyze the signs of infidelity and gaslighting in relationships.
• They offer advice on confronting potential cheating, emphasizing the importance of communication and trust.

Notable Quotes:

• Stavros ([79:59]): "You have to treat this with that kind of severity."
• Ian Lara ([84:38]): "Throw it away."

Stav and Ian recommend seeking professional counseling, considering relationship boundaries, and making informed decisions about trust and fidelity.

---

X. Outro

The episode wraps up with a humorous exchange about ongoing listener calls, reinforcing the podcast's supportive yet candid environment. Stav and Ian express gratitude towards their guest, Ian Lara, and encourage listeners to engage with future episodes.

---

Conclusion:

Episode #111 of "Stavvy's World" offers a blend of humorous critique of the entertainment industry, introspective discussions on personal and societal issues, and practical advice for listeners grappling with relationship challenges. Through candid conversations and relatable anecdotes, Stavros Halkias and Ian Lara create an engaging narrative that resonates with a diverse audience.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Stavros ([07:17]): "That's so stupid. You need to be funny. The entire job is be funny."
• Ian Lara ([12:15]): "There's not one person who... With, you know, it's just me. I don't even think who I would come up now. It's so hack."
• Stavros ([31:15]): "Like SpongeBob might be Jerry."
• Ian Lara ([44:22]): "I think we're seeing more kids say that now. I feel like kids are pickier now."
• Stavros ([76:34]): "You're a piece of... You're being a chief."
• Ian Lara ([84:38]): "Throw it away."

These quotes encapsulate the episode's themes of humor, authenticity, personal growth, and relationship dynamics.

Transcript

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[Ian Lara]

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[Stavi]

OPA welcome everybody, to Stavi's World 904, 800 Stav call in. We'll solve all your problems. We have returning after a long absence, our pal Ian Lara. Ian, thanks for coming, buddy.

[Ian Lara]

Thank you for having me, bro. I feel like I was one of the first episodes in the studio, and then I watched the clips. Didn't you have Blake here?

[Stavi]

I had Blake Griffin in that very seat. I'm like, in that very seat. Blake Griffin said, yeah, dude, when I.

[Ian Lara]

Saw that, I was like, he couldn't have. They must have built the makeshift studio at 30 Rock. There's no way st invited him.

[Stavi]

No, dude, we've thought about this. We've thought about switching studios. There's something so nice about making famous people come to some shitty apartment building in Queens and be like, this is the podcast.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. I'm like, did he bring security? I thought that was insane. But I'm happy. I'm happy to be back, man.

[Stavi]

Yeah, dude. No, we honestly have thought about switching it up. You know, the. Are you garbage boys. Those motherfuckers pay. Probably. Who they got? They got prime Manhattan real estate.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. I mean, they did like two episodes and was like, okay, we got to move to. We got to move to Hollywood.

[Stavi]

The fuck do those assholes think they are?

[Ian Lara]

They're doing it the good way. I was like, jesus. No, but they're. They're great. Yeah. Everyone talks about how nice their studio is.

[Stavi]

It is.

[Ian Lara]

But this works, though.

[Stavi]

Thank you. Thank you. This works. We'll take that. That's a. That's a route. Like we were earlier. We were just going over the level of sound engineering we have is. There's a nois room next door, and eldest sometimes remembers to shut the door. And that's all. He. He always worries about that. I've never seen him tweak a microphone. No, I've never seen him do any research on, you know, sound magic behind the scenes, man.

[Eldis]

The best engineering is there's a lot going on, but the stuff you don't notice, I'm sure.

[Stavi]

While we. Sure.

[Ian Lara]

He was, like, touching the camera. I'm not sure he was touching it. He was like. We were talking, and I was seeing him, like, adjusting, but I wasn't sure he was moving the cameras at all.

[Stavi]

Unfortunately, that he does do that every time, and that's actually not a. Of being good at his job, because these cameras have not moved 1cm since the day we set them up. Every time a guest is here, sometimes it takes eldest. We're sitting here ready to go eldest. The cameras that have been here, he's adjusting them for 15 minutes, and we have to do that. Awkward. We thought we were about the pod, but now we're going back to regular friend conversation, and he's just, like, tweaking. What on earth? I have no fucking idea. Yeah, we got to get you autofocus, man. We got to get you cameras with autofocus. I've learned to just give up. You're never going to figure it out. We just need better cameras.

[Eldis]

A good engineer is like God. He's everywhere and nowhere at once in his creation. You don't see him or hear him.

[Stavi]

We see you constantly. We see you constantly and we feel it constantly and how fucking annoying it is. What are you talking about.

[Ian Lara]

Man? It's. I think it's that big, Big Dick energy.

[Stavi]

Oh, no. You tried to make him big.

[Eldis]

Why do we wait so long to get Ian back on?

[Stavi]

I don't like that. Ian was honestly the first speed bump in setting up the eldest Persona. Because early on, you were probably like, episode, what, four? Or some like.

[Eldis]

He's like Patreon number four. Three or four or something.

[Stavi]

I thought he was on a free up.

[Eldis]

Oh, maybe he was.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, I was. I was.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

Okay. Yeah. No, but that was when I was. I was. When we went on the road, I was opening for you.

[Stavi]

That's right. That's right.

[Ian Lara]

I tried to brand him.

[Stavi]

He tried to brand him. Big Dick Elvis.

[Ian Lara]

I was hoping to stop you Wouldn't let it ride.

[Stavi]

There was no way. We're.

[Eldis]

I've been trying real hard to make that one stick.

[Stavi]

There's no way we're letting Big Dick Elvis stick. No chance. Who knows, though? Now he's. He's developed a little cult of personality. So now the. The. The true Elders heads might get behind Big Dick Elders. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Sound off in the comments.

[Ian Lara]

Well, all the eldest Heads.

[Stavi]

I was the first dude. You were to lift him up.

[Ian Lara]

You didn't even talk that.

[Stavi]

No, no, no. He's really come out of his shell. He. He really came out of his shell at 35.

[Ian Lara]

I think he, like, got married after that. He just like, changed his life after a weekend at home.

[Stavi]

That's true. That's true. Albany. That was awesome. Yeah, that was one of my favorite moments. Did we talk about this on the last ep?

[Ian Lara]

Maybe.

[Stavi]

Who knows? It was years ago. It was literally over a year ago. But my favorite moment, which was really made me and Eldest think about how we consume media is when we kept. We were like, dude, we gotta watch. You know, we like to watch shitty standup specials on the road.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And we pitched a specific special to you and you were like, so you guys just watch shit that sucks. And you were. You were so confused that we were like, pumped to see something that was horrible. And we were pitching it to you like, dude, it's awesome. This guy's bombing the whole time. And you're like, what?

[Ian Lara]

You guys were looking forward to it. Like. Like it was the season finale of Penguin. You guys were like, we're going to go back to the house. We're going to throw on a special minute. You're going to love it.

[Stavi]

And we already watched it, by the way. We had seen it like two days prior and we were excited to show it to you. Cuz he. Cuz it sucked.

[Ian Lara]

You're going to love it, man. It stinks. The act outs are bad. The premises are bad. Everything about it is the worst.

[Stavi]

Yeah, we really have developed so much of what we like to watch is shit that's horrible.

[Ian Lara]

The funny shit is. I don't want to say who it was.

[Stavi]

Yeah, we can't say it the next day.

[Ian Lara]

Like, I was working with you that weekend, and then when I got back to New York on Sunday, I was invited to his premiere on his new special. So I went to the premiere and the whole time I'm thinking about, man, when Stavro watches this, he thought the other one was bad.

[Stavi]

Oh, and I watched it, brother. I literally.

[Eldis]

I have like, did we just watch that?

[Stavi]

We watched.

[Ian Lara]

He's had two since then.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, we've kept up. No, we watched the second one recently. The one. The one after that one.

[Ian Lara]

Oh, my God, bro.

[Stavi]

That one's really bad too.

[Ian Lara]

That one is like. I'll admit. That one is, like, level up bad.

[Stavi]

It's awesome.

[Ian Lara]

It's like. Because it's like he's trying to be like, Meta.

[Stavi]

Exactly.

[Ian Lara]

It's like, it's not just bad comedy.

[Stavi]

It's like, no, it's fascinating. And unfortunately we really. It's just a bad look to just openly trash someone even if we think their stuff stinks. But maybe we need to create another tier on the Patreon eldest for like our true thoughts. The true thoughts tier, dude, I was.

[Ian Lara]

At, I went to the premiere and I was watching people pretend that they were like, like that they were.

[Stavi]

That they were like moved. That's another element.

[Ian Lara]

This is like deep.

[Stavi]

That's my favorite thing about stand up comedy now is people pretend we're deep. It's like, that's so stupid. You need to be funny. The entire job is be funny. There is not any other thing about it. It's the simplest art form on earth is make people laugh by any. Any way you need to do it, figure it out. But don't. You don't got to make them think. It doesn't have to be fucking poignant. And some people can do it. But it's like, funny is out, bro.

[Ian Lara]

It's the art.

[Stavi]

It's coming back, brother. It's coming back. It's no longer funny. It's coming back, brother.

[Ian Lara]

You're like old school.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Call me crazy. I think we, I think stand up should have jokes and be funny and not pander.

[Ian Lara]

You want to be. I mean, that's the funny thing about that is I like. Because I feel like some comics, they just stay away from it. Like they don't, they don't. Like, they just like, I just do this. That I do and whatever happens. And then some, some of them try to fight the culture wars of like.

[Stavi]

Well, that's the most bitch ass thing you could possibly.

[Ian Lara]

I thought so.

[Stavi]

And it's. What's so funny is all that, like there's a now because it's like, obviously everyone would make fun of alt comics for pandering, but it is literally worse on the right.

[Ian Lara]

It's now worse.

[Stavi]

So worse. And you know what? Alt comics weren't funny. And they were like. And, and like, you know, half of them were hacks, but some of them were doing imaginative things and some of them are doing interesting things for the art form. No one is doing anything good on the right. No, there's not one actually funny. And everyone who goes that way gets less funny. And people are going to be some of the worst listeners in our fan base are going to be mad at me for saying that suck my dick and unsubscribe. But there is not One.

[Ian Lara]

There is not one freely.

[Stavi]

There's not one like innovator who's talking about not being able to say slurs. There's not one person who. With, you know, it's just me. I don't even think who I would come up now. It's so hack. And they're the same. They're the same as the left. It sucks.

[Ian Lara]

I agree. I think that's the funny part. It's the same like, it's the same on the other side, but they don't see it. Like. Yeah, they saw it objectively when it was one side. We all saw it. Because obviously, especially in New York, there was like a phase where the comics would go on stage and it was just like kind of clap that they'll say things like, you know, women shouldn't be sexually assaulted.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Ian Lara]

And everyone was like, yeah, I mean, yeah, we agree. Yeah, that's, that's fair.

[Stavi]

Oh, not funny to you. Yeah. White oppressor there from Connecticut. It's a girl that was a Republican until three years ago. And they're calling straight white men the devil. And it's like, all right, we called.

[Ian Lara]

It out when it was.

[Stavi]

That it was fine.

[Ian Lara]

But then when the other like now the same people that was calling it out is doing it on the other side, but they don't see it.

[Stavi]

And now. And it's awesome. Cuz they're do. They're being so. They're literally being gayer than some of the gay alt comics. Like the guys that put on Tyler Fisher will put on lipstick and wear and they'll dress like women. And it's like, that's gay. You are being gay, dude. And I like gay comics. But you're making fun of them by put. You buy lip. You go to the store to buy lipstick. They've probably bought. There's, there's alt. There's like, right. Comics that have purchased makeup multiple times for their act. They know the shade of lipstick that works best. They have opinions on the shade of lipstick that works for their lips. And they're making fun of trans people. It's like, what are we doing here, man? What the are we doing here?

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, it's pretty wild. What I think is pretty wild is that like some, some of them are making it seem like they're on this like crusade.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

To like break through. But they're getting like really rich off of it, which is like a weird thing. It's a weird thing of being like, I'm fighting for the thing. But if, like, if you want to fight that you're fighting for, then you would just be pointless because your whole thing is fighting that thing.

[Stavi]

So if.

[Ian Lara]

If that thing stopped, then what would you do? Then you would just.

[Stavi]

They have nothing to say. They have nothing to say, Right.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Their acts stink. That's the thing. It's like, their acts are mediocre at best. Mediocre at best. And you don't grow if you fucking. And here's the other thing, having. And we'll stop talking about comedy soon. We just, you know. Because I don't want to be one of those podcasts that overdoes it, but, like. Yeah, you're just. You exist against something, and it's like, what do you have to say? Like, all the people who talk about free speech, and I think you should be able to. I'm a huge free speech guy, obviously.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

But you need something to say.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And you should be able to say the most offensive things for a reason, not just because you're bombing. And if you say retard, it'll get a laugh. That's not a joke. Yeah, that's literally not a joke.

[Ian Lara]

I couldn't agree with you more. I have a tough time. I think. I think sometimes we let the conversation of free speech, it gets, like, diluted, because I think if you sat them down where it's like, what do you mean, free speech? Like, what do you mean by that?

[Stavi]

And what do you want to say?

[Ian Lara]

Right, Right.

[Stavi]

Like, what's the thing you can't say?

[Ian Lara]

Right, Right.

[Stavi]

Because we're on your podcast.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

That is all.

[Ian Lara]

This is bigger than all media without question. And you're saying it.

[Stavi]

What is the thing you can't say. I'd love to know.

[Ian Lara]

Like, not only that, but if you stepped away from it, it's like, you're also selling out theaters.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I know, dude. I know. It's crazy.

[Ian Lara]

What's the thing. What's the. What's the persecution that you're.

[Stavi]

It's crazy. And it's like, those are the same people that call people victims. It's like you have got a victim mentality and become rich off it. And it's just crazy, dude.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. I always just wonder, like, do. Like. Because if you tell me that they understand, and they're like, oh, yeah, this is just like, whatever. I'm doing this to make money. I'm like, all right, cool.

[Stavi]

Like, I would respect that more. I would respect that from New York.

[Ian Lara]

All right, cool.

[Stavi]

I would. I would literally like a. Like, I mean, I don't think Doug Carlson's a good guy. And I think it is weird how people suck him off sometimes, but it's like he doesn't have morals or stance. He just does whatever. Like, let's say, like Glenn Beck or whatever the, like, those, like, right wing guys, they know they're playing. They might. Their politics are probably more conservative than the average person, but they don't believe all the culture war they're saying. Right. You know what I mean? They're just like, oh, yeah. Pretending I. I'm scared of trans children makes me a billionaire, so I'm gonna do it. Pretending that's a threat. Like, those people don't actually. Aren't actually scared of their son getting his dick chopped off in preschool, but they pretend they are because they know old people will be like, oh, I should fucking buy his book.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Because he's saving my grandchild turning gay.

[Ian Lara]

But those people, I'm like, all right, whatever. That's your job. But comedians, I'm like, what's this notion of, like, you just want to do comedy in a, In a vacuum where there's no, no repercussions, Whether it's just like, say whatever you want and we can't even. Because it's like, you say free speech is like, yeah, we don't want you arrested.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

You want to not laugh just to.

[Stavi]

Say you're bombing in a.

[Ian Lara]

Right, Right.

[Stavi]

You are that.

[Ian Lara]

Like, you want freedom from that.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

[Ian Lara]

I can't say you're bombing in a hat.

[Stavi]

You want to be respected. Yeah. But you suck at comedy also. It's. There's not that many good. But that is why this happened. Just because, like, so few people can actually be good at comedy. And so it. It pisses them off. They think they should be famous. And this is an E. And again both ways. But I will say, in the last decade, it's become clear it's a lot more profitable and easy to be the fucking. The right wing comic.

[Ian Lara]

Oh, for sure.

[Stavi]

Because, like, the left wing comics, they still have to go through this stupid. Like, they kind of got that the people that were sucking them off were like the dying tv.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Movie industry. It's like, tell me about it, you know? Yeah, yeah. Check out Ian special on HBO Latino.

[Ian Lara]

I just did my fourth Tonight show last week.

[Stavi]

Yeah, dude, if you had. Yeah, you up, man.

[Ian Lara]

It does. I mean, like, forget. Forget like as white guy. Because, like, the white field, the white guy right wing field is kind of. It's a little crowded. You know, you can still. Pretty quickly. You can still somebody like me on that side.

[Stavi]

Oh my God. Shooting star talking about how actually we destabilize the black family destabilizes itself. If you said that. Oh my God, dude, it's be a reason for real. Dude, that would be some of the worst fans of all time. But hey, you would have.

[Ian Lara]

You know what kind of sucks though? Like, because sometimes obviously you tour and you do places where all there is is like right when people and they come to my shows and I'm like, they're good comedy fans.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

About the stuff they don't like.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.

[Ian Lara]

Other than that, they're good comedy fans.

[Stavi]

They'll take some observational humor.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, yeah, they're good. Just don't mention anything they disagree with.

[Stavi]

But it is fun to do. I will say one thing, like, like Austin definitely has become like a, like more of a right leaning comedy audience. For sure. I like that that exists though. Because it's fun to be able to go like you. I tell a joke about how Elon Musk is a piece of shit here. Yeah, no problem. I tell it there. There's. There's half the audiences crossing their arms and being like, talk about gay guys. You know what I mean?

[Ian Lara]

Like, like I'm getting there.

[Stavi]

And I'm like, you don't get. Don't worry, that's coming. Sorry, we're getting to that part. It's 2025 and Mint Mobile's got a resolution for you. Skip the gym, skip the fad, diets dry January, who gives a shit? Okay, here's what you need to make your resolution. Saving some serious bucks on your fucking cell phone bill, motherfuckers. That's what you need to make your resolution switch to Mint Mobile. We switched our company line stopping Baby Enterprises. Now it's on Mint Mobile. I call Eldis for anything I say. Eldis, did you get the copy? Did you send me the copy for the Mint Mobile ad? I call them on the Mint Mobile line. Switching over was easy as shit. And we're stupid here. We can barely get these episodes out on time. It was easy. We're saving money right now for you. Mint Mobile is offering half off their three month unlimited plan. Can you believe that? All right, that's huge savings. You could get any three month unlimited for only 15 bucks a month. Even their unlimited plan, which is what we have here, all plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network. You want to be with some little dick 5G network or you want to be with the big boys. Bring your current phone number. Okay. And your current phone. That's again, that's what we did. We switched right over. It was nothing. It was no hassle whatsoever. Switch to Mint and new customers can get half off an unlimited plan until February 2nd. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month and get the plan shipped to your door for free, go to mintmobile.com stavi that's mintmobile.com stavi $45 upfront payment required. Equivalent to 15 bucks a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigs gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. C Mint Mobile for details it was just an interesting observation because we love watching comedy that sucks dick for fun. That's one of my. That's what that's like. Whenever we're like kind of scrolling endlessly. If it's like me eldest and a couple of our friends are like, someone will inevitably say, let's throw on something horrible or they've had something pinned. And I guess that also, I wonder if that legitimately is a real cultural difference between black guys and white guys. Like, I hate watching things. Ironic watching I don't really get. I never got the sense growing up that my black friends like doing that. It's kind of like a. It grows out of sort of like being a hater and a troll in the depths of your fucking. Of the Internet. Like, it's kind. It's grown out of that. Um, and I just feel like I just. I really. I'm. And I'm not. You know, I'm. I could definitely think of a couple of my black friends that love doing that with me. But it's like, for the most part, there is something like you being like, you just watch shit that sucks was so sobering to think of it that way, where it's like, yeah, I guess I do. Yes, I seek out things that are.

[Ian Lara]

Bad, but personally, I think this is. This is like a quaint charm to that you could just watch it and just let it exist in your own world. You don't have to go on Reddit, make like a whole thing about.

[Stavi]

That's a good point.

[Ian Lara]

You just watch it. You're like, this sucks. And then you just get up and. And go make dinner. Well, I'll say this.

[Stavi]

I don't. I watch things that suck. And I don't have the negative Reddit reaction. I get pure glee from it.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavi]

I'm like that. Not only am I not mad, I.

[Ian Lara]

Don'T have that neither. I'm like, that, too. Like, I'll watch it and, like, I don't get angry. Like, some people get angry.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Ian Lara]

Which you ever. I mean, you probably don't engage in comments, but some comments, you just want to be like, bro, why are you angry? Like, you could have just scrolled. It's like, so much other stuff out there. And some people are like. Some people literally are like, why do I keep getting this on my feed? Like, they'll comment that and then I'll reply. Because you're commenting on it.

[Stavi]

Yeah, exactly. You just juiced the algorithm. Bro thinks this is what you enjoy. Yeah. Yeah. That's so. Yeah, it's funny. But, yeah, there was no there. I'm trying to think, what do you think the first thing we watched, ironically, was? That's a very interesting. Because definitely some of the things I liked growing up, in hindsight, people said were bad, but I just think that's my. Like, I like shitty. Like, comedy movies people thought were shitty. Like, I loved Night at the Roxbury.

[Ian Lara]

People think that's shitty.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. Like, I love.

[Ian Lara]

I thought that was a classic. It is.

[Stavi]

It holds up. I watched it recently. It holds up.

[Ian Lara]

Classic, in my opinion.

[Stavi]

But that's not exactly what I'm talking about. I'm trying to think. Do you. Can you come up with anything we watched and made fun of?

[Eldis]

I'm thinking back to college. I mean, one. One thing that comes to mind is, like, we've always loved rap music, but just the audacity of the lyrics is like, an example of that where it's like, this is so over the top.

[Stavi]

And, yeah, maybe Lil Wayne's mixtape run was kind of like the beginning of us both loving something and being like. That's a crazy lyric.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean? Like, that maybe that is an interesting. That's. That might be true. And then obviously, when Two Chains was coming out, he had some bangers. Rick Ross had some great stuff that you could.

[Ian Lara]

I think, like, the first time I saw something and was, like, personally offended. Not because anything they did, just because I was like, this is so bad that it's like, I feel disrespected. I saw it at the movies.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

It was like, scary movie, like, five.

[Stavi]

Oh, that actually might be it. Right.

[Ian Lara]

I've never seen this before. It was a packed theater. The. The credits wrote. People got up and booed like, the director wasn't there.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

People just wanted the theater to know that they were mad about what they just Witnessed.

[Stavi]

You know what? I think you're right because I love the scary movies.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

The first. Maybe even up to three.

[Ian Lara]

Maybe up to three. One and two are great.

[Stavi]

One and two, unimpeachable.

[Eldis]

Three.

[Stavi]

I want to say it was actually a pretty good time. Yeah, I don't remember. It was either four or five. Yeah, dude, you're. I'm having a flashback, too, because, like. And what's funny is Simon Rex is in those. And we went on to love. That was a. That was a guy we loved when he was, like, doing, like, you know, weird rapping in that MySpace era. He was awesome. Dirt. We loved him as Dirt Nasty. But I remember that. And. And because the other thing is, we didn't. I didn't do any research. It wasn't like you. We look up a movie. I got there and I was like, who the are the Wayans brothers? You know what I mean? It's like people you don't know at all. It's like, by the fifth one, I don't even think, like, any of the original cast members were in it.

[Ian Lara]

No, they left after two. Yeah.

[Stavi]

But I think the third one had. They weren't there, but I think they had other original cast members.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, they had other original cast members, but, like, by the end, wasn't there, those. Those guys are good at that type of movie.

[Stavi]

They're so good.

[Ian Lara]

They're one of the best. I mean, they like that airplane type of, like, so good slapstick. Dude, they were so good. And now they're making a new one. They actually got them back to me. But Part five, dude. I remember watching it and I was.

[Stavi]

Who'S in Part five? Let's find Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen. Yes. You're. Dude, this is. It's so funny. We were having this exact experience at the same time on up and down 95.

[Ian Lara]

Wow.

[Stavi]

I mean, no one's still. Yeah. Simon Rex, Terry Cruz. Mac Miller was in it. May he rest in peace. Ashley Tisdale, Charlie Sheen. Yeah. I mean, that's. That's tough stuff.

[Ian Lara]

I mean, that's a who's who of comedy genius. But they. They have, like, good people. Like, Cat is in it, but it's like.

[Stavi]

But he's in it for a scene.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. Obscure scenes.

[Stavi]

Daryl Hammond was in it. He's the man. But yeah, no, that's a good one. Like, for example, I saw Joanna man in theaters and was like, that was good.

[Ian Lara]

Me too.

[Stavi]

Like, you're gaming classic. You haven't named the movie yet, but that's interesting. Yes. Scary movie might Be. Yeah. What's the first thing you saw? And we're like, wait, this sucks.

[Eldis]

What was that one way bowl movie that started with like a 911 scene? I don't know if that's the first, but that's like an early example I could think of that just something so purely edgelord. Not even funny, but just like exist to be provocative. And we were just like a little in wonderment of like how stupid.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Like I don't think I even saw it though. I think I was just like, you know, being like, oh, that's, that's gonna be.

[Eldis]

We didn't see it, but I remember we were like, we thought like that scene was hilarious.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Because in, in 2009, to do a joke of a guy hitting the twin towers, that still hit, that still was like audacious.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Now fucking 7 year olds will make a twin Towers joke the way we would make Pearl harbor jokes.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Like to them, they don't fudgeing, give a fuck.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

But at the time, what's fascinating with.

[Ian Lara]

Me with like movies or even stand up specials where I like my mind starts to think like, how many people before this got to me? How many people saw this and was like, yeah, let's put this out.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian Lara]

Like this is something. Yeah, yeah, this is something good.

[Stavi]

Oh, with movies it's even crazier.

[Ian Lara]

That's what I'm saying.

[Stavi]

Because like, I mean they do like.

[Ian Lara]

They do like, like they'll screen it for people. Yeah. And people will be like, yeah, this is awesome.

[Stavi]

Hundreds of people. Even on a low budget movie, hundreds of people work on a movie.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

No one says at any point, people see the script, people see the. It's like all the actors like, yeah, okay. Everyone's just like, whatever, yeah, we're just doing it.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. I wonder if, like if I. Because I think what happens is you get sucked up into the vacuum and you start to just. It becomes like an echo chamber where everyone is just like, this is good. So I guess you start to believe that it's.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Lara]

But I wonder if I was like on set, if I'd be able to say like, this is garbage. Like, this is not.

[Stavi]

I'm trying to say, yeah, yeah, yeah, you, you probably feel it. But you're like, maybe you're like, what the am I gonna do about it? I'm here.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. I'll definitely take up the, the check and do a bad movie for sure. I would love to.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Lara]

But I would come on a podcast and talk about it.

[Stavi]

Yeah. To the Tim Dillon approach.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

To Joker. I mean, that motherfucker's been trashing Joker in a hysterical way. He's the man.

[Ian Lara]

That was a bad one.

[Stavi]

I know. That one I'm interested to see because I think it might be so bad. It's like one of those things where people are like, this isn't even bad. Good.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And I'm like, we'll see about that.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Like, I. We have to watch it. Actually, Elders, we should do our official review of Joker.

[Ian Lara]

No, there's a level of bad where you get offended. Like, you get.

[Stavi]

Oh, you know what else? The fucking.

[Ian Lara]

The.

[Stavi]

That Mark Wahlberg the plants are killing people movie. I saw that.

[Ian Lara]

I never saw that.

[Stavi]

The happening, maybe. Is that what it's called?

[Ian Lara]

I. I think that, like, there's, like, a level of bad where you're like, this is bad. It's just not for me.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

And then there's a level of bad where you're like. Like, you want to write your senators.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian Lara]

Like, get the removed.

[Stavi]

What about when you were a little kid? Was there something that. I'm trying to think if there was like, a Disney movie I hate or, like, what's the very first, like, memory you could have of some being like, yuck? Because it is funny when a little kid really doesn't like something. Yeah. They won't hide it at all. Have you seen. Really?

[Ian Lara]

I think it's tough. Like, kids. What do. Like, I can't think of, like, a kid not liking something.

[Stavi]

Have you. Have you ever seen your nieces reject something?

[Eldis]

My wife tried to sit my niece down to make her watch, like, the original, like, Beauty and the Beast because she just loved it so much when she was a kid. And, like, my niece was, like, just bawling because it looks like old bullshit.

[Stavi]

If you're a kid, like, the animation.

[Eldis]

Is completely different than it was now.

[Stavi]

She was the bullshit.

[Eldis]

She was like, you know, she like. My. My wife had a wager with her. She's like, just watch it for five minutes and if you don't like it, we can turn it off.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

She was like, counting down the clock. She was like three years old. She was like, it's five minutes. I'm like, I don't want to watch.

[Stavi]

Owned your wife, dude. That's tough. Losing a battle of wills to a three year old. You got to respect her for at least hanging in for that five minutes.

[Eldis]

I had moments like that when I was a kid. Like, you know, I loved Rugrats, Doug. All that classic shit. Then, like, the new wave of cartoons comes in and like, you, you just, like, don't like it. You're not into it. And it's probably just as I was getting older, but I was like, oh, this isn't anywhere as good as Rugrats.

[Stavi]

It starts so early. Yeah. I wonder what's the age where you're.

[Ian Lara]

Literally like, as a kid, like, this sucks. This is garbage.

[Stavi]

I feel like we're seeing more kids say that now. I feel like kids are pickier now.

[Ian Lara]

You mean it? Because sometimes it's cool to say something sucks.

[Stavi]

Well, like, for example, our friend has a baby. And that if you're not putting on Finding Nemo, he's not interested.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, he's two.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean? Like, so to him. Or like, he'll watch cars. You know what I mean? But, like, it is interesting. I wonder how many little ass kids have, if that's where they have to start. The first generation of, like the Pixar kind of computery ones.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And if they'll watch, like, because I, I, I feel for your wife. Because I've thought that too. It's like, you know, if someone in my family has a kid, I'm like, oh, I want to watch the. I liked as a little kid. But it's like, you know, they're not gonna want to watch a lad. They're not gonna watch Pee Wee's Playhouse. Like, Pee Wee's Playhouse to a little kid. It's like a bunch of people. No, also, they wouldn't get.

[Ian Lara]

I feel like a lot of the stuff we watched when we were kids, now as adults, we look back and you' this had weird sexual. It's not a weird sexual undertone.

[Stavi]

Well, definitely all the Nickelodeon with that, that fat, you know, there's that fat pervert who was like, spongebob has, like.

[Ian Lara]

Sex jokes in it. Like, it legitimately has like, like, that's what she said type for kids.

[Stavi]

Shout out. You know what? I was, I was not. I didn't like spongebob when he first came out, but I, I changed my tune later on.

[Ian Lara]

Oh, SpongeBob's great.

[Stavi]

No, it's a banger. But I remember being, I think it was a little bit of what you're describing where it was like, this is in Rocco's Modern Life.

[Eldis]

I was a little like that too. But the consistency of spongebob. It's like, I, I got one over even like in middle school when I was done with cartoons.

[Stavi]

Yes, no, no, for sure. Absolutely. That was one that you're like. Because it ca. It caught us generationally at a time where it's like, I'm not a fucking little ass kid. I'm not watching you cartoons. Yeah, then you just watch it. You just watch it. As a man in middle school, you're.

[Ian Lara]

Like, spongebob might be the Seinfeld of Cartoo.

[Stavi]

O. That's interesting. But like, it's the thing interesting when.

[Ian Lara]

You watch it, you're like, objectively, this is really good.

[Stavi]

This is putting out good.

[Ian Lara]

Trying to find a formula for a Krabby Patty.

[Stavi]

This is not.

[Ian Lara]

This is good. This good. Yeah.

[Stavi]

Well defined characters.

[Ian Lara]

Right, right.

[Stavi]

Honestly, characters that do the same way you watch Seinfeld still holds up in a way that I don't think from like, you know, like Seinfeld now is what, 30 years old? Yeah, 40 years old.

[Ian Lara]

30. Yeah, 30.

[Stavi]

Yeah. 30 years is. That's a lot for. And it still holds up same way. It's like you recognize the characters, the archetypes. Yeah, SpongeBob. The archetypes are pretty good.

[Ian Lara]

They're good.

[Stavi]

Doofus try. You know, his doofus friend, the. Try. Try hard. Spongebob.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Squidward. Just a piece of. Sticking them.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Sandy, the enthusiastic girl that no one has a chance at fucking, but they all secretly want to. You know, that's the subtext there.

[Ian Lara]

Sandy's like, Elaine.

[Stavi]

Yes, that is true.

[Ian Lara]

It's the spongebob. Of course.

[Stavi]

It's kind of like dudes. It's almost like Kramer. Kramer. Spongebob though, I feel like. Anyway, couldn't Kramer be Patrick?

[Ian Lara]

Because Patrick is like a little goofy and he does like goofy side.

[Stavi]

The thing this, the thing with Seinfeld was that Seinfeld was the one. He was the blank slate that you could project anything onto.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

He really didn't have much personality in the show. It was about everybody else.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

And he was the. He was kind of the straight man, even though he was the stand up comic.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

Everyone else. And so it's like spongebob is definitely not the straight man. If anything, Squidward is the closest thing to the straight Squidward Might be Jerry. Honestly, Interestingly enough.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, maybe.

[Stavi]

Maybe in some ways it's not. It's not a one for one. But I take your. I take your point of like as a kids cartoon because then obviously we can start thinking even though the Simpsons are. It's a different division than Simpsons and all that other stuff. Yeah, kids cartoon signed for spongebob. Being Seinfeld is a pretty good take. I like it.

[Ian Lara]

Not bad. I Just had like a weird moment where I'm like, man, this is where we are, like, in media. Like, we're having an introspective conversation about whether SpongeBob and Seinfeld, the correlations they.

[Stavi]

Had and what happened to earnest conversation.

[Ian Lara]

And your listeners are going to listen to it and be like, this is. Like, this is.

[Stavi]

I think this might be the most thought provoking question we've ever introduced on the podcast.

[Ian Lara]

Man, I love this pod. They really get into it. They really.

[Stavi]

Dude.

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[Stavi]

Were you like. Were you like, would you. Were you like, a latchkey kid? Did you just watch TV by yourself?

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, I did. I did watch TV by myself, but I was the youngest of like five, so it's like I never.

[Stavi]

Somehow I feel like I never even knew that. Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. So. So growing up, like, I had older sisters and brother and, you know, when you have older, sometimes you just want to watch what they want. Like, I remember watching Jamie Foxx. I Might Need Security. His standard special when I was like six.

[Stavi]

That's awesome.

[Ian Lara]

And he's talking about, like, sleeping with JLo. That was like my first introduction to stand up. So I used to watch like, hey, Arnold. But then I would watch like, you know, deaf comedy jam when it got.

[Stavi]

Brought back funny at six.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

How. What was the clo. What were the ages? What are we talking?

[Ian Lara]

Like, have one sister who's. Who's a year older than me, and then the rest are a lot. Because my mom, she was married two times and I have one sister who's like 10. Then I. My. My brother's 10 years older. My sister's like 15, and another sister's like 17.

[Stavi]

Oh, so your brother who was 10 years older, was he around?

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, yeah. That we all live. We all grew up in the same house. So I was like, you know, so.

[Stavi]

You were like a really, like, almost like the mascot of the family. You're the baby.

[Ian Lara]

Kind of. But I was, I wasn't like, I'm not like, look at me. Guy I was kind of like the quiet like sister.

[Stavi]

More like you two were the babies of the family.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. No, no, actually, none of us were like that. No. Yeah, it was weird because I. We did. We just didn't have that dynamic. We were kind of all just like. I wasn't like a mute, but I wasn't like.

[Stavi]

Everybody was like roommate polite roommates to each other.

[Ian Lara]

My mom ran a tight shift.

[Stavi]

Everybody was all business. Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

We used to put on our suits, watch Friday night movie, and go to sleep at a decent time.

[Stavi]

That's so funny.

[Ian Lara]

It's funny when you go to like, you know, you do like these like, meetings or whatever with like industry people and they. Especially if you're a minority, they want you to say that like you came from like a crack house. I had to sell crack when I was 6 years old just to keep the lights on.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian Lara]

That's like. They're digging for that. And you're like, you don't have it.

[Stavi]

Tell me some trauma.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes my mom wouldn't cook on Friday. She'd order Chinese food. They're like, she was prostituting herself. No, I just think she was tired.

[Stavi]

She was taking night classes to go to law school.

[Ian Lara]

Deal. And they're like, she's a little tired.

[Stavi]

You see them get mad. Get mad because you didn't get molested. And your uncle, he like, this guy's a waste. Took some liberties. No, he just needed to get back on his feet in between consulting gigs.

[Ian Lara]

Great uncle. Yeah, he's great uncle.

[Stavi]

He had made some bad investments, didn't play the market exactly right. So he just crashed with us for a month until he got a new head spun job to do the dishes.

[Ian Lara]

We didn't have a dishwasher. Is that trauma? I know most. Most people have a dish dishwasher. We didn't. He would wash the dishes. It was fine.

[Stavi]

Have you seen Julio Torres's show about the shapes thing? No. He did it. Shapes was a special, I think, but he has a special. He has a show called Phantasmas, which is fucking hysterical. And it does that talks a lot about that where it's like, that's. That's a running theme about, like trying to get him to make something about, you know, his. His poor Abuela, you know what I mean? Like, he's just trying to make his own shit. And they're like, it's so fucking funny. Speaking of gay shit. Gay comedy that I love. That's one of the gayest Shows they're making and it's fucking hilarious.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, Yeah. I got to check that.

[Stavi]

It's so funny. But it deals with that exact theme of like them wanting to tap you to tap dance, but in a different way. Like.

[Ian Lara]

Right, right, yeah, yeah, no, dude, that happens. That happens a lot. Like, it happens a lot. And that's kind of what I'm worried with now because I feel like the pendulum just swings and now I'm like, I thought we was out of that woke.

[Stavi]

I know, like, thing.

[Ian Lara]

And I feel like now in response to like trumping office, it's just gonna swing back. And I don't want it to swing back. I don't want it to be.

[Stavi]

I'm a little worried about that too. I think. I do think, because it's not. You can't even pretend to that like, anti cancel culture shit is rebellious when it's, you know, there's a Republican billionaire in office. You know what I mean? Like, you can't pretend. It's like, yeah, no one. Like, my hope is that. That people that talk about all this woke realize that like, just policing people's behavior means absolutely nothing. You're not making a difference. That people what we have to abandon that and actually talk about the reasons people act out in ways that are fucked. Because it's like, yeah, I'm not gonna say there's not racism and homophobia and shit like that, but it's like nobody's offering people any solutions. Democrats aren't saying Democrats are pretending shit's good. So then if your only other option is like, well, it's actually Latinos and gay guys, that's the reason your life's bad.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

People who are fucking dumb and poor gonna be like, yeah, yeah, it is fucking Latinos and gay guys. Whereas, like, you could say rich guys are fucking. But it's. So my hope is that the like, not that there even is a left in this country anymore. Democrats are now fucking just moderate Republicans. But my hope is that like, there will be a real left that talks about economic issues. Because, like, that's what happens. Rich people try. Like the party of the rich wants to fucking keep people, like, wants to pretend it's cultural issues, whether it's race, gay, whatever the fuck, even gender now with like taking away fucking abortion rights. They want to pretend that that is what's keeping you apart. When it's like, it's always economics. Yeah, it's always that rich people want to take your money. They don't want that. They want to be the ones that don't pay taxes and make all their money off of your. Off your back and off your work. But I think.

[Ian Lara]

I think in entertainment, sometimes I. I find that, like, we have such a quick. Like, how quickly we forget. Like, I don't think while. While Trump was in office the last time, I don't think there was a worse time for, like, a straight white man in, like, history of America. Like, I don't think there was a worse time to be in the sense of, like, the. The woke movement had them pinned down. Trump got out of office, and the woke movement kind of shifted, and those guys all got elevated and became super famous. So, like, the nar of, like, we want to go back to that thinking. It's like a bashing of, like, speech. I'm like, did you forget that? That was, like, the toughest, the worst. Like, there were so many people who deserved, like, were funny and killing it and deserved specials and deserved things, and the industry was literally like, we're not taking white guys.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

I'm like, did you forget that?

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, they don't. They. They don't understand. Yeah. It is stupid. And I hope that because people. People want to pretend they're doing something and they're, like, acting like they're offended at. At a racy joke. It's like, you could have just, like, done something to stop him from getting an office. You know what I mean? Like, instead, now that he's one, they have to show. It's like that. Showing you're a good guy and not doing anything. You know what I mean?

[Ian Lara]

I think it's weird, too. Like, as comedians now, like, we're, like. They're, like, getting into, like, political.

[Stavi]

It sucks.

[Ian Lara]

That's so. That's so strange, dude. I thought we were supposed to, like, be objective and be like, look at these two. I'm really.

[Stavi]

I know, dude. I'm really worried. It's like, because I have very. I have my own beliefs, obviously, but it's like, I've tried to hold off, of course, but it does get to the point just for the same comedy. But it's. It does. It is even getting to the point where I'm like, at some point, it becomes like, you kind of have to say something. If half the industry is, like, actively championing. Championing some shit that I know is that I personally believe is fucked up. I'm trying to hold off. I'm not. You know, we're all. We're. We're all friends here. This is my personal podcast. But I never Want to fucking. You don't want to be the person who's like, hours about that. It sucks.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, no, I mean, dude, yeah. Like, I mean, I hope, I hope we just, I hope we're just going through an error and like, we move. We move. Because I, I understand there's a space for like, like, you said that, introspective, thought provoking comedy. But the fact that everyone has to be doing that and some of the.

[Stavi]

Dumbest people you've ever met in your life, some of the truly stupidest people on earth are trying to do that shit.

[Ian Lara]

Truly. Well, I'm like, I, I mean, look, my act is about women calling me gay. That's my fight.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. As a small, as a small, fashionable man. Yeah, you're gonna be fighting that fight.

[Ian Lara]

That's one of my actors.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that. You're coming on my, on the mustache corner, dude.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

But yours was very nice and.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, I had a mustache. I was, you know, I was just.

[Stavi]

What were you thinking about that?

[Ian Lara]

I was just going through, I was like, let me just try something different. It worked.

[Stavi]

It worked.

[Ian Lara]

It opened up, it opened up a door for like a, it was like old were thinking I was like, attractive who really, you know. Yeah, they're like, wow, you remind me of like my boyfriend in the 80s, you know, which, which, that was nice. And then other guys would mustache, we'd have that.

[Stavi]

What do you do for the mustache, bro?

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, that was, that was nice.

[Stavi]

Are you interested in an older woman?

[Ian Lara]

I mean, I, I guess it depends. I'm not like, I think it's weird to go outside and be like, I want an older woman.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Ian Lara]

Like a girl your age comes by, you just give her like a stiff out of here.

[Stavi]

You don't a defined type in that way?

[Ian Lara]

No, no, I don't think so. I, I, I, I'm open. Sure, I'm open. But then it's like, I'm kind of worried of like, I, like a friend of mine, she told me she was dating a guy who was 30 years older than her.

[Stavi]

Wow.

[Ian Lara]

And at the time he was like 55 or something. And I was just like, you have like five more years before.

[Stavi]

He's like.

[Ian Lara]

I'm like, like, you really have like five more years before the man is 60. Like, have you thought about this at all?

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Lara]

And she was like, I thought about it. I'm like, I don't think you're thinking about this.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I think, Yeah. I mean, it is obviously case by case. I Mean, there's, it depends who you marry, right? What? It's like I marry a, I'm, I'm a 35 year old obese man, like you know, Mediterranean man. And if I marry, there's 65 year old Asian women now that will outlive me, you know what I mean? Like, so it kind of depends if your friend is like, like, you know, if your friend is kind of, you know, mess that's gonna die early, maybe data date somebody that's gonna, you know, hold up.

[Ian Lara]

But even that, it's not even the fact about living because you could live to a hundred, but it's like, do you want to be 60 years old dating 100 year old? I mean like you have like 15 years before you're literally taking care of this person. Like they're the elderly, right? Right. You're literally having to like, like, like get your soup like, right. Is that the life you want from 40 on?

[Stavi]

That's an interesting, that's an interesting conundrum. Some women appear to want that weirdly.

[Ian Lara]

Well, women like, women like older. Like older is like an attractive thing. Which when I was a younger dude, I was like, what's that about? But now that I'm like in my mid-30s, I'm like, Ah, you're like, nice time to collect.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, time to collect on all the. I lost to 35 year olds when I was 21. I like, hey, I'm right there with you, brother. I've definitely had that thought. I'm like, yeah, I get it, dude.

[Ian Lara]

Not to bring back the PC thing, but I was thinking about this when I was coming to because like the, the, it's so funny because like the PC guys like, they, they're like like the anti woke, they're like, yeah, we can't say anything. Which I'm like, just say the thing.

[Stavi]

You can say whatever you want.

[Ian Lara]

Just say it and let whatever happens happens. Stop trying to fight. I'm like Star Rose, you, you tweet out, you know, just wrapped up on a movie with love head. Like you're literally leaving like a Netflix filming. Like today was a long day. I would love if a young woman just came over and gave me head.

[Stavi]

It's true. That is what I would love.

[Ian Lara]

And everyone's like, oh, he's so earnest. This man is so true. He's a truth teller.

[Stavi]

You just gotta be yourself, man.

[Ian Lara]

And I never heard you be like, oh man, I can't, I can't say what I want to say.

[Stavi]

No, I think it's, I You obviously can say whatever the. You want to say. That's the craziest thing. The only thing you really might get in trouble for is dropping an N bomb. That's really the hardest thing. And it's like, why do you want to say that? You know what I mean? Like weird like, or. Or, you know, the classic f. Homophobic f. Slur. You know what I mean? It's like.

[Ian Lara]

Which. Sure. It's hilarious.

[Stavi]

It's. It's funny in certain circumstances when Eldis is dressed a certain way.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

You want to call him that?

[Ian Lara]

Of. Of course I wanna. I wanna say that to him.

[Stavi]

Of course. He's trying out stripes that don't really suit him. Right. And it's whatever, man, you wanna. You don't say. And is that, by the way, is that that big a deal? It's literally two. Right. It's literally two words that you actually probably can't say most of the time.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. But also you. You. I think a lot of times it's like, you could say it, but they want to remove themselves of the. Of the. Of the weight of having to make it good.

[Stavi]

Yeah. It's like you could say it if it's straight, even that. Yeah, but it has to be. Yeah, it's. You're walking a tightrope.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

And you can't. Don't be like, give me a really big ass. Yeah, yeah. A really big ass sheet of plywood.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

I want to be. Yeah. I want to be able to stumble barely over plywood.

[Ian Lara]

Right, Right.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

Which is, you know, it'll. It'll swing back. Which I'm. I'm. I. I feel like it swung extremely one way. And I'm. I'm worried for this extreme swing back because. Yeah, I felt like we were in a good place. Place.

[Stavi]

We'll be fine. Man. Who gives a.

[Ian Lara]

Everybody was just saying whatever the world.

[Stavi]

It's all. Yeah, damn. I. I get what. Oh, yeah. I. I'm still. That. I. I didn't realize the 5, that's cr. So. But it was just like. And you grew up in Queens, right. And so it was just like you were in a. You know, five in five siblings is still a lot. Even if was nice and orderly.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, but they were. The fact that they were so much older than me by the time I was like in my teenage years years, they were kind of out the house.

[Stavi]

Gotcha.

[Ian Lara]

And they were kind of doing their own thing. So it wasn't like we was like. I remember till probably to like, I was like maybe 11, 12. It was all of us. And after 12, like, when I was 12, my sister was like, 26, and she.

[Stavi]

Right, Right.

[Ian Lara]

She left. And my brother started. He was out. So it wasn't.

[Stavi]

That's a very immigrant. I mean, that's how Greek people in Greece are, where it's like, you stay in the house until you get married.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

Actually, a lot of people in Greek town are like that. Weirdly, like, where I grew up, they still kind of behave that way.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You left. You were. You. You weren't. You didn't wait till you got married?

[Ian Lara]

No, I didn't wait till married. I left my house. I mean, I went away to college, and then when I came back, I stood at home for a couple years, and then I left at, like, 28, 29. I got my own place. But if it were up to my parents, yeah, they would be like, stay here forever. They'll be like, get married and move in. Take the basement apartment.

[Stavi]

That's hilarious.

[Ian Lara]

Which I kind of get. I kind of get it. Like, I. I like. You know, you've heard this before. Like, a lot of white parents, when they. Like, when you turn 18, they're like, get the out. Which is like. Like, do you hate your kids?

[Stavi]

Yeah. It's so weird.

[Ian Lara]

Like, I. I would think that I. If I had kids, I would be like, yeah, you could chill.

[Stavi]

I'd love to see you. I mean, there are those depressing statistics where it's like, when you. By the time you leave for college, you've seen your parents, like, 80% of the time, you're gonna see them your whole life.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean? Like, that shit's. And. And then I think about. I'm like, it is kind like I don't see. And I have a good relationship with my mom. I don't see her that much. You know what I mean? Like, I. You know, it's. It is wild. And. And also there's something nice about, like, I like the idea of being able to live near your friends or your family or whatever. It is, like, there is something. And also the way, like, humanity should be. You have a kid, it's nice if a uncle or grandma or somebody is right there.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Because that's also how parents don't go crazy.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

Like, it is kind of like more of a group family effort. But here's a.

[Ian Lara]

Like, this is like a weird statistic that I just thought of when you said that, that when I left my house, which was probably like, 29, when I moved out of my house, which was like right before co. Because I had. We had a three family and I had one of the apartments that was nice, beautiful. But then I wanted my own space, so I moved out. When I moved out of my house, which was 2020, I. My mom, who's since has passed away. She got sick, got cancer and passed away. I saw my mom like after I moved out my house, I saw my mom less than 100 times. Like again. So when I moved out, I had already saw her 95 times.

[Stavi]

That was most of it going to see it.

[Ian Lara]

And then the. The rest of it was like. Like I saw. I used to come over and see her in the holidays and stuff, but she only lived like three years past that. I saw her less than 100 times. So that's like something to think about.

[Stavi]

Totally.

[Ian Lara]

Which we don't. We just kind of flow through life thinking that it'll be like forever, but it's not. So.

[Stavi]

I know that's the. It's. It is sad to be like, damn. I mean, we're. We're all at the. We're all the same. You're 35. 34. 34, yeah. We're all pretty much the same age. It's like this is when it hits you that it's like, oh, it's the, the. The hearts at the top of the screen. They're not gonna go on forever, you know what I mean?

[Ian Lara]

They're.

[Stavi]

They're shrinking just a little bit. You know what I mean?

[Ian Lara]

I mean, I don't know when this happened. I think it was after 30. Like, I constantly walk around thinking that like, I'm dying, like, like physically, like I think. And I'm like, pretty good. I go to the gym and I'm like, I'll get chest pain. And I'm like, here it is. Yeah, yeah, here it is.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that's what you're thinking. What do you think I'm thinking over here?

[Ian Lara]

What do other people think? Oh my.

[Stavi]

Dude, I'm the same, but also for good reason. I mean, last year on that last tour, I've been. I've talked about it, but it's like I thought I was gonna die like half the night. I was like going to bed up, take, you know, taking like pills, eating like, you know what I mean?

[Ian Lara]

And I was like, dude, I thought like. Cuz you. Because I did a couple stops with you on this tour and I went up there and I thought like. Like I was like, all right, I'm opening for St. I thought it was going to be like, backstage. It's Going to be like strippers like walking around in like panties and it was going to be like rock and roll. And then I show up and it's like a thigh, a Thai buffet. Like in between shows you're like, you're like, yeah, we had this whole restaurant catering and I'm like, well, this is nice too.

[Stavi]

We were eating and getting up and. Yeah, I mean it was Albany. I don't know what the looking like in Albany. You know what I mean? There's cities where you're like, all right, we're going to put. We're going to think about the catering a little more than the afterparty in certain cities to be fair.

[Ian Lara]

I think, I think actually I think sometimes that's when you go to like a city. Like not to say Albany is a city.

[Stavi]

It is. Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

But that's not what I'm trying to say. But I think sometimes when you're like, you're, you're playing the egg. This is like the big theater in Albany. It's like, like the top notch of that city is going to come out like so that's kind of nice.

[Stavi]

Perhaps.

[Ian Lara]

Cuz every city has a top.

[Stavi]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Ian Lara]

Every. Every city has like some hotties that are going to move to like la, Miami or New York. Sure.

[Stavi]

You got to catch them before they go. Before they go. That's true. That's a good point.

[Ian Lara]

Which is unless you going back out? Are you going back out?

[Stavi]

We're going back out. Actually by the. Yeah. By the time this episode comes out, the Dreamboat tour is being advertised. If you're one of those top hotties in a city, you can come for free.

[Ian Lara]

You.

[Stavi]

Yeah. DM me. For real? DM me. Picture your tits. We'll get you. We'll get you in there for free. No problem. You gotta come back again. We spent too much time talking about how annoyed we are at cancel Culture warriors. But yeah. So yeah, go see Ian. Hilarious. One of my favorites and a just good comic who doesn't is not gonna preach to you. We'll just write good jokes.

[Ian Lara]

Completely different now.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. You go up there, you're like these.

[Ian Lara]

Trains are trying to play.

[Stavi]

I go to bad for you. You're like, they're trying to play sports.

[Ian Lara]

They're trying to beat the out of your little girl.

[Stavi]

Yeah. This is something I really give a about women's college tennis now. I care about that for some reason. I. I'm the guy that talks about how boring the WNBA is if you'll let me hear it. But now I care about Division 2 Women's Minor College sports. Anyway, whatever. Hello?

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Ian Lara]

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[Stavi]

Eldest. Hit us with a question, little buddy.

[Caller 1]

Hey, Stavi.

[Stavi]

Not playing.

[Caller 1]

Hey, Stavi. Stavy baby and healthy. Weird thing, I guess. Not that weird. I'm in a good relationship. Like the best relationship I've ever been in.

[Stavi]

Nice.

[Caller 1]

My issue though is that I've just put on so much weight since I've been in this relationship. Like, I'm aware that like people get happy and they maybe put on extra weight, but I'm like 260 pounds.

[Stavi]

My goal weight.

[Caller 1]

Never been this big.

[Stavi]

I've always been in good. My goal.

[Eldis]

That's all.

[Stavi]

I would love to get to a nice trim 260 again.

[Ian Lara]

A nice lean.

[Stavi]

Nice lean 260 at 5, 7. Go ahead, elders.

[Caller 1]

260 pounds now. And I've never, never been this big. I've always been in good shape. And the problem is that whenever I like take my shirt off around my girlfriend, she's like, she gets turned on by it. She loves that I big. She just loves my belly. And you're a big guy, Not a jackpot, pal. Is it weird that I like feel insecure about it? Because, like, if she likes it, then who cares? I don't know. It just like, is there. Is there a way I could be like, hey, I like that you like that I'm sexy, but I don't like that I feel so fat all the time.

[Stavi]

Those ass hurt me, dude.

[Caller 1]

I don't know.

[Stavi]

His enunciation hit me.

[Caller 1]

Feel this way about it. But I just like. I feel like this relationship has been so good, but mental. Like, physically, I'm like, just not in a good place health wise.

[Stavi]

Interesting.

[Caller 1]

I don't know. One fat guy to another.

[Stavi]

Okay. The. The hard f. Fat I've never felt before.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, I. I feel like he's like roasting you.

[Stavi]

You're the Fastest one.

[Ian Lara]

Bastard. Yeah. And he's coming, deal with it.

[Stavi]

And he's complaining that his girl wants to him too much.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. Yeah. This is, this is strange.

[Stavi]

This is. I mean, yeah, you are weak minded, my friend. You have one of the most weak minds I've ever come across. You're basically letting, you're basically letting societal standards that your own girl that you love and say you're in a great relationship, your own girl doesn't subscribe to. You're letting what other people, other faceless, nameless people might think of you affect how you see yourself. Right? And look, I'm not going to tell you that you should be fat, right? From a health perspective, obviously, like if, what if your diet has gone to. If there's things in your life that you want to take care of, that's fine. But if you're in a place where your partner loves the way you look and you can adjust your habits to be healthy, Healthy, maybe you lose a little weight, maybe you start working out more and so you can become big in a different way and maybe you kind of meet it halfway where you know, you're, you're taking care of your diet, you're not overdoing it and you start to feel healthy and maybe you don't look. Also you're aging. Maybe you don't look as good as you used to when you were younger. Whatever. If you can get to a place where you feel healthy and you're still a little bigger than you, you'd like, like who you're being a about this. You're in a great spot right now. And I wouldn't let this, like, it feels like to me he's, this is some like fat phobia that he's turning on to himself a little bit. You know what I mean?

[Ian Lara]

This reminds me a lot. I feel like women have this issue a lot sometimes where like, they'll be like, you know, I hate my huge big titties. And then the man will be like, well, I love your big titties. And they'll be like, well, I want to get breast reduction. And the man was like, well, I'll.

[Stavi]

Leave be like, oh, I'll leave you.

[Ian Lara]

If you, if you up.

[Stavi]

What the Lord? What did you say?

[Ian Lara]

Right? I feel like this is just reverse. Like this woman is like, don't you dare lose a pound.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

And he's like, but I don't feel sexy.

[Stavi]

Yeah, it's just like crazy. I hate to sort of turn toxically mask. I hate to turn toxic mask. This is Basically toxic masculinity versus fat phobia. And I'm like, you know what I mean? You're being a chief.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, 260, you know, I don't know. Look, if he is, he's five, four feet. 260, that's. That's huge. But 260 is not terrible.

[Stavi]

Right?

[Ian Lara]

And if, and you could, if you could stay around there and still, you know, be active. Don't be a slob. That's not bad.

[Stavi]

Yeah, exactly. And I do think, I really think more than anything, this is your. This is like internalized, you know, your. You don't feel hot the way traditionally women struggle with. But it's like, who is it? I guess the question is, who is what about this? Really? Look at the, the stem and the root of this feeling to you. Because for me, I can tell you personally, and maybe this is a little obvious to people, but like, I only ever. I mean, now I've gotten old enough where it is about my health because, like. But when I was younger, it's like I only lost weight to get attention from women. Sure. It was never about anything else. And that's my own issue. You. That I let that dictate a little too much of my thing. But it's like there's also the exact. You could go a little bit opposite where it's like, this isn't even affecting how. This isn't even a positive to you. You seem so sad and you've kind of hit the jackpot. You fit a situation that most men would kill for. You get to get chubby and your loves it. And then. Yeah, dude, do some bicep curls. Look, be like a stout bouncer type guy and eat a little less if you're. If you're feeling unhealthy, fix the other parts of your life. But don't worry so much about your body. Work on how you think about yourself and think about why you're so judgmental to yourself.

[Ian Lara]

Dude, I. I once dated a girl and she was like a small. She was like a small girl. She's probably like five foot two, like petite girl. And her thing was she. She wanted a man that was like 300 plus.

[Stavi]

What's she up to? Tell her to holler at me.

[Ian Lara]

Dude, I felt like I felt the opposite guy. I was like, I'll never be that. Yeah, I could never be £300.

[Stavi]

I have literally found there have been times where I hooked up with somebody randomly. Right. On one of my great solicitations that you talked about earlier. Right. And I assume they were a fan of some of the podcast of stand up, whatever. And I've hooked up with a couple girls who straight up did not really know who I was and they liked fat guys and I was just like a fat guy on the Internet that they wanted to fuck. There are people out there, they were high one for two. But you know, one was very hot, one was fine, you know, but, but no, no, it's like the people exist like this and it's like they definitely. And, and he's. And in his case it's like you found somebody who likes that. You need to figure out this is your own. You need to figure out what's at the center of it. And that's sort of more long term advice, practical advice. I think you hit it on the head which is like you're not, you know, as work out a little bit. Don't get, don't feel overly sloppy or whatever. The. But you're fine, dude.

[Ian Lara]

I feel like he should have sent a picture with this yes call.

[Stavi]

I'd love to send us a photo.

[Ian Lara]

So we could be like, oh yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah, we take it back.

[Ian Lara]

You gotta loot with you take it back.

[Stavi]

I don't know. Your whole. Yeah, your tits are so strange. Dude. You've got the. I, I PR I, I thank the Lord that he gave me the best fat loadout possible. This is the. You want to have this kind of. You could weigh as much as me and be much fluffier and shittier. And I've got. Which people say is bad. Hard fat is actually really bad for your vital organs. It is, but it looks good.

[Ian Lara]

It's bad.

[Stavi]

The fluff. You want to be a real fluffy guy.

[Ian Lara]

Do you think what if, what if like, do you think if like let's say you lost and £100 right now.

[Stavi]

Like 100, I could do no problem. And I would still be fat, by the way.

[Ian Lara]

Really, I would be.

[Stavi]

I'm probably 310 right now.

[Ian Lara]

So let's say you say you got down to a lean 180. 185 7, 180. Do you think, you think your career would change?

[Stavi]

Like it would change for sure. I mean, I think I would. First of all, I don't want to be 1 8. That's weird to me. I would love legitimately to be 220. That's like the lowest I'd ever. And I'm five. That's like 25.

[Ian Lara]

Seven is big.

[Stavi]

It's still pretty. I'd still be in Excels probably.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean? But it's like, I don't. Yeah, I just don't. I can't even imagine. I don't know. What am I gonna go? Al Sharpton mode? You see that? He's skinny as. It's so weird.

[Ian Lara]

The highest I got. The highest I ever got was 170. That was like the, the highest.

[Stavi]

Yeah. And, and how did it feel for you as a 170?

[Ian Lara]

I felt, I felt sturdy.

[Stavi]

Were you working out a bunch?

[Ian Lara]

You felt. No, I was, I was being a slob.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

And I wasn't like, like crazy, but I felt, I felt sturdy.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Lara]

But I, but I, I, I just rather like. I just look. I feel like I look better. Like 160, 170.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

Which is like. But that's just what I'm used to. But I'm trying to see if, like, if I got up to 220.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, that'd be interesting.

[Ian Lara]

220 is.

[Stavi]

I'd love to see that. I'd love to see you fat. I'd love to see everyone fat. Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

If it were up to you, I'd.

[Stavi]

Love to bring everybody over here, see what it's really likes. See what? See, see, See? Show them they can't hang. They can't swim in these waters. But, yeah, you got to get over whatever the. In your head. Sorry to dismiss you, but you're sounding like a. To me, dude. Next question. Eldis, I love, like, he called for.

[Ian Lara]

Like, earnest advice and we gave it to him. You sound like a little.

[Eldis]

We gave him.

[Stavi]

We gave him what he needed to hear.

[Caller 1]

Hey, Stavi. So I was in a relationship for most of my 20s. And now, now that I'm 30, I've had a year of being single for the first time. And I'm in countering all kinds of issues in relations to being a player and balancing multiple women at one time. And the main issue for me is physical evidence. I've been decent with the phone and I'm. I can handle that. But a lot of these women seem to be intentionally leading evidence in my apartment to disrupt my relations with other women.

[Stavi]

These are the CIA, man.

[Ian Lara]

He thinks they're leaving like the leave behind, doing the leave behind in his apartment.

[Caller 1]

And I. I clean my apartment, I vacuum, I do these things. But still there are issues. And I'm wondering, I give some examples. An eyelash on the ground. I did not know that was something that could happen. And recently. Makeup on the wall.

[Ian Lara]

Makeup on the wall.

[Stavi]

You press the bitch's face to the Wall.

[Caller 1]

And I think the worst one was behind a picture of my family. There was earrings, which those have to be 100 intentional. So my question to you is, what is there a protocol for something like this? As a man, should we.

[Stavi]

Throw me.

[Caller 1]

In here and make sure that the women, the woman from before didn't believe anything sneaky for another woman? Or am I wrong for even having women, Two different women over.

[Stavi]

This is. We're talking about two women, I guess.

[Caller 1]

Have you ever encountered this issue?

[Stavi]

Two women. You can't, you can't keep. You can't keep a. A little consistency between two women. So this guy is talking about this is first. He was saying this is his first time being single, pretty much. And he's. How old was he the first?

[Eldis]

He just turned 30, I think.

[Stavi]

Okay. Or he's 30 and he's single for the first time. Most of my 20s. Got you.

[Ian Lara]

Okay. I got a. I got a specific move, please. Yeah, yeah. That. It'll work every time. So here's what you do when you're about to bring a girl over for the first time, right? Like let's say you got a girl coming over over for the first time, but you recently had another girl that was over another time. What you do is you tell that girl that like the new girl that's coming over, in conversation, you mentioned that you had like your sister over the week before or you had your cousins over the week before.

[Stavi]

Because that was like a little get.

[Ian Lara]

Together with like a bunch of like.

[Stavi]

Your female family is so important to me.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. And they all came. So you'd be like. So you'll be like, hey, hey. Even if your apartment is fully clean, you're like, hey, I'm sorry if my apartment's a little crazy. My cousins were over and, you know, they're girls, they were getting dressed and how about this?

[Stavi]

You say your cousins, you say female and male, and then you leave like a pair of Jordans that aren't your size around also. So you're covered for the male thing.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

And then you also. Oh, there's Frank's shoes and Sarah's earrings.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. Or here. Whatever the case may be. So when in the event that the girl you bring over does find something.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

She'll be like, well, that's my cousin Bl.

[Stavi]

Butt plug.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

That'S my cousin's warming lube. Used warming lube.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. Yeah. Right. This.

[Stavi]

This is a. Oh, my God. My cousin left his sex pillow here. That's good though. I like that. This. Something about this, though, is Just this guy's talking about two women. First of all, it's not wrong to date. As long as you're not lying.

[Ian Lara]

That's the main thing. I'm like, who gives a, who gives?

[Stavi]

I mean, this guy must. Not. This, this guy don't live in New York, I'll tell you that.

[Ian Lara]

You're telling me a girl you just met, went on a day with and is coming back to your house to you, is concerned that there's another eyelash at your head? Like, what do you, what does she think you're doing?

[Stavi]

Well, this. Who knows where he's from. Right? I don't know. Let's not reveal the area code. But you want to look at it up just so we can just see where it might be. Yeah, that may. I mean, that's exactly right. So this guy is not from a major metropolitan area. Yeah, these are. He's 30. He's probably dating women around his age.

[Ian Lara]

Who, like, I want to get married.

[Stavi]

Like, if he's talking about two women and one. And that. What I was going to say is this is not really a player issue. This is a who you're dating issue. You and one of these women is trying to sabotage you.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

And you probably haven't been completely upfront about what you're looking for. You can tell by him being like, is it wrong to date two women at once? Like, he's literally thinking it's a moral issue. So he's, he's just not used to, you know, this kind of behavior. And so it's not. If someone's trying to do this, then you're just like, he might be dating the wrong women. If you want to continue being a, a 30 year old playboy in your, in your own words here. So that's really the issue. It's not like you're not have to, gonna have to get a crime scene. You don't have to get CSI over there to sweep your apartment every time you get your dick sucked after watching Hulu.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, also I think, look, if you, like I gave you a way to lie. But also I also believe that if you in your 30s and you want to be a player, be a player. You don't gotta lie. You ain't looking for your wife. You ain't just, yeah, somebody left her earring. What to tell. I don't know what to tell you. Women, Women.

[Stavi]

Oh yeah. Friend. You could literally be like, oh, yeah, a friend left those here.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

What's she gonna, she's gonna press you. It's like, yeah, we Were dating. We used to date. Like, whatever, it doesn't matter.

[Ian Lara]

Well, I don't get it. Unless you're telling me it's your girlfriend finding stuff.

[Stavi]

Right?

[Ian Lara]

That's a problem. But random girls, who cares what they find?

[Stavi]

Yeah, I mean, you heard his, his voice was shaking, talking to us. You think he could fucking be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's different girls. What are you going to do about it? Zip. Get the sucking or get the trucking? He's not going to do that.

[Ian Lara]

That's the energy.

[Stavi]

I know, but he's not built for.

[Ian Lara]

It, that New York energy.

[Stavi]

The thing is you're, you're enjoying the first and probably only time you're fucking multiple women at once. He's going to get married. I bet he's getting, he's. This guy's going to end up getting married to the woman who put the earrings behind that picture.

[Ian Lara]

This guy could be married before this episode release. We're a little backlogged.

[Stavi]

So. Yeah, man, that's, that's our, that's our. Ian gave you some cover and. Yeah, you just have to. I think you need to just be more selective in who you date. You can't be dating these and be more honest about what your intentions are.

[Ian Lara]

It's weird that women are doing this like to him too, because I never had that.

[Stavi]

Yeah. But again, New York City.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

He's in the heartland, let's say in a place where if you're 30, you're probably trying to get married. You know what I mean? But it is weird. Don't get me wrong. It's weird on both their ends because clearly this is, it's insanely, weirdly passive aggressive behavior on their part. But he's also just not being upfront with. She probably gets an inkling that this is going on. Doesn't. Isn't going to have the conversation. He has an inkling that she has an inkling. He's putting his fucking head in the sand and trying to get double sucked as much as possible. And that's what's going on here. There's no, there's a complete lack of communication on both ends leading to insane behavior.

[Ian Lara]

The, the get the sucking or get the trucking is hilarious. I feel like that's like, that sounds like a far right. What you see at a Trump rally with a shirt that has nothing to do with politics. Like, what does this mean?

[Stavi]

Yeah. And, and I want to be clear, that is a phrase that we employ for, for non political misogyny on this show. Hello.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Ian Lara]

No purchase necessary VGW Group void where prohibited by law. 18/ Terms and Conditions apply.

[Stavi]

Go ahead elders.

[Ian Lara]

This is a two minute.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Hi Gabby. Hi, Eldis. Hi, Jeff. I am looking for advice from a male perspective on an issue that I have because I really don't have any close male friends and I don't have like a cool older brother that I can talk to about this. So I have been in the same relationship with my husband for 11 years, married for three. So we dated for a long time. We were high school sweethearts. And anyways, we've never had any problems. We're super compatible. You know, we don't fight a lot. But as soon as we bought a house and kind of added a layer of like responsibility, we did start to have some issues surrounding the fact that I'm the breadwinner and I was carrying most of the weight in terms of like bills. And I think, you know, my husband started to feel insecure about his role as like a husband and as a man. And we did start to have some arguments surrounding finances. Anyways, one day I just like had this really weird feeling and I looked at the messages on his apple watch and I saw that he had texted his co worker, good morning baby.

[Stavi]

At 8am on a Saturday, this guy needs to ask for permission to buy a golf club. And he's texting in his office. Good morning, baby.

[Ian Lara]

He said, good morning, baby.

[Stavi]

Good morning, baby. At 8am Is really tough. Really tough. And her. Okay, keep going.

[Caller 2]

Elders and her messages were silent, which is a huge red flag. And there were no previous messages. Everything's been deleted.

[Ian Lara]

Come on.

[Caller 2]

He told me and she told me that it was nothing more than a couple. Couple weeks of innocent flirting out of here. They've never done anything else. And pause it.

[Stavi]

Your honor, I. I bought the cocaine. I never did the cocaine. You. Yes, you did. Find co. Look, I'm not gonna argue with you. You found cocaine in my jacket. I never opened it. I never did it. I mean, they just flirted. And he's deleted all The. Anyway, let's finish up, but come on. This is bad. Bad. I don't know.

[Caller 2]

I'm just having a really hard time, like, accepting that answer, moving past it, because I just feel like I'll never really know the full truth and extent of it. It's also probably important to mention that around the time of this fling, he stopped wearing his wedding ring to work.

[Stavi]

Oh, my God.

[Ian Lara]

What is this a prank?

[Stavi]

I mean, holy. Okay, so he's a poor woman. Yeah. Yeah. What? Worked to. Yeah. Where the was he going? Best Buy? He. He had a whole. He had a hard day of unlocking Fitbits for people, and he. You know, that gets in the way. Babe. You know, when I'm. When I'm. When I'm taking a Sonos, when I'm putting a Sonos in the back of a Toyota Highlander, I don't want my wedding ring to get snagged. Jesus Christ.

[Caller 2]

Any advice that you could give to help me kind of feel less secure about it? I obviously don't want to throw away, you know, 11 plus years over, I don't know, innocent texting, if that's what it was.

[Stavi]

Baby, come on. I mean, good morning, baby. It's not in.

[Eldis]

On a Saturday.

[Stavi]

On a Saturday with the text deleted.

[Ian Lara]

It's not innocent texting. And the message is silenced. That's not innocent text.

[Stavi]

That's not. That's not. I mean, I know this is circumstantial evidence. You don't have the smoking gun in theory, but good God almighty. I mean, this is crazy.

[Eldis]

This is beautiful gaslighting right here.

[Stavi]

This is.

[Ian Lara]

The guy.

[Eldis]

The guy's. The guy's making her feel bad about being the breadwinner.

[Ian Lara]

She. Yeah, you're.

[Stavi]

He has no say in anything. He's a piece of. He's clearly insecure that you're. That you have the better job. Whatever. Whatever. And he's gaslighting you into. He's acting out because it's like there's some dumb at work that'll never be better than him. You're better than him. You're clearly smarter and make more money. You know what I mean? Like, you've been better than him, honestly, since you were kids. That's the problem with. Look, I don't want to bring this up, but you know, my stance on high school and college sweethearts, even, it's just like, it's tough for that to work out. And I'm not saying it doesn't work out, but I am saying that this. This is textbook gaslighting.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

I mean, this is nuts. And like you're, you're feeling guilty, you're calling in and feeling guilty is crazy. I mean, I, I don't. I mean, this is the kind of thing where it's like, yeah, you should feel insecure because I don't believe this guy and I don't even know what it.

[Ian Lara]

She said she spoke to her too, that. I would like to know what that was like.

[Stavi]

I mean, that's the.

[Ian Lara]

Like she said, she said that the other girl said it was just flirting.

[Stavi]

I know, that's really interesting.

[Ian Lara]

Did you reach out to her? Did you?

[Stavi]

Yeah. How did that happen? I mean, if he's like. I was like, yeah, talk to her. He's like, all right. They're going over it like a mob lawyer.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, like, what are you gonna say?

[Stavi]

Yeah, exactly. They're going over her testimony the night before the trial.

[Ian Lara]

This is tough.

[Stavi]

This is really tough because you're not. You're clearly a nice person who's. Who is gaslit to oblivion right now. The fact that he's even making you feel bad about being the breadwinner is. That's. That in and of itself is a gigantic red flag to be like, to start, everything's gone good. And the arguments start because you make more money, because you provide for him. And that starts an argument like, he can't say shit to you. I don't like. That's red flag number one. Somebody who's with someone understands it's not like this changed or anything like that. And even if it did, kid, if it's your life partner, you can't be insecure about like that.

[Ian Lara]

I mean, let's just call it what it is. I mean, you caught your husband texting his co worker, good morning Baby, at 8am on a Saturday, like he was having an affair. Whether he had sex with her or not. I mean, I guess that's debatable.

[Stavi]

It's minimum. An emotional affair.

[Ian Lara]

It's an absolute minimum.

[Stavi]

And he's. Just because he wiped the hard drives doesn't mean there wasn't up.

[Ian Lara]

Right. There's probably nudes there.

[Stavi]

Oh, without minimum. We're talking nudes. Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

So he was having an emotional affair at least. So you have to decide if you're willing to trust him again or put up with that. Cuz that's. That's the thing that happened. Like you caught that. Yeah, at the very minimum. And who knows what the more. But I think sometimes women should ask themselves. It's like, all right, let's say you did Catch him sleeping with his coworker, Right? Are you going to leave him? Cuz if you're not going to leave him, then just let it go, cuz. Yeah, you're not going to leave.

[Stavi]

Yeah, you're going to leave him. What are you going to. How are you going to replace that $800 a month he brings in? You're not gonna. You'll have to either cut. You have the Disney plus or Hulu, right? Yeah, I know he pays for all the streaming services, so. Yeah, you're gonna. You think about that. You know what I mean?

[Ian Lara]

Decide what you're gonna do. If you're not gonna leave him regardless, then this is. Stop killing yourself over it.

[Stavi]

I don't. I mean, if you're not gonna leave. First of all, if you want my harsh true thoughts on this, please. High school sweethearts. It's gotta be perfect to continue a high school sweethearts relationship. In my opinion, this is the only person you've ever dated. The second you hit a road bump, which look, as much as I was tough on the guy for like saying it's a red flag to start arguments over, you know, the imbalance in their financial stuff, like I get how that could. Your knee jerk reaction to feeling insufficient to your wife could start an argument. But you have to work through that and you have to. All right, we're. We're good. Clearly, the second this guy felt emasculated, he fucking, at the very minimum, looked for attention elsewhere. At the very minimum, at worst case scenario, had a full blown affair with somebody. It's the first. That's the first problem you guys have had. He has a fucking affair of some, of some level he doesn't provide. You don't even have the fucking cold rational. He's fucking rich. I'll turn a blind eye. You fucking buy him. He's wearing Dockers you fucking paid for. To me. You can't let it. I would not let it go. I would at minimum go to like counseling to feel like you're actually over this. Have him actually admit what happened. You can't have these weird half truths. Truths, yeah.

[Ian Lara]

The truth is no good.

[Stavi]

You have to be like, you know what? I don't. You can't. It can't be a conversation between you, him and the girl he cheated with. It's got to be you, him and a therapist you and look, I'm not even saying throw it away, right? That's definitely my inclination. I'm that kind of person. That's my own issue.

[Ian Lara]

Throw it away.

[Stavi]

I up Relationships. I don't want to work on them.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I'm not even, even if he cheated, I'm not even necessarily saying throw it away because the older I get, the more I realize sometimes people just act out. You both are immature. You both are high school sweethearts. He doesn't know. He's never dealt with any of this shit. It could have. Even if he had an affair, it could have been a mistake that he won't repeat. But it also could be, it could be something you can't get over. And either one of those is fine. That's your decision to make. But to sort of. You're treating this flippantly because this guy is gaslit the fuck out of you. And so you have to treat this with actual. It's a serious thing that could very well sink your relationship. And I think you need to treat it with that kind of severity. From my that's the way I'd look at it. That's just be given all given the context of their relationship.

[Ian Lara]

Is this the same caller who said that she didn't have like men in her life?

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Ian Lara]

She could talk to. Well that makes sense.

[Stavi]

Totally.

[Ian Lara]

That's why she's being so easily manipulated.

[Stavi]

Absolutely. This is like this guy's probably so stupid.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

And because she doesn't have any.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, because anybody would be like are you kidding me?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

This is insane.

[Stavi]

This is like all of this is crazy.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah but that makes sense. But yeah, I, I, I agree. I think you got to, you got to at least go to therapy on this minimum because you always going to have that. And what's the not wearing your wedding ring to work. What is that?

[Stavi]

I mean what are we talking about?

[Ian Lara]

Yeah. What is that?

[Stavi]

Everything you said is crazy. I hate to be this guy.

[Eldis]

Hey, I've been known to forget mine when I come to work here sometimes.

[Stavi]

Elders is trying to me I'll just trying to his co workers but she.

[Ian Lara]

She'S like he was doing, doing it purposely like. Yeah.

[Stavi]

I mean this I, I, I feel so bad for her because I, I'd love to be able to talk to her actually. But yeah, this is, this is tough this guy and you can't be taking any from this guy. And, and that's the other thing. It's like the fact that he's trying to weirdly come I don't know kind of on like she feels bad. You hear it in her voice.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You shouldn't feel bad at all.

[Ian Lara]

I mean you should feel bad that your husband's kind of a piece of.

[Stavi]

Yeah, you should feel sad, but you don't. You shouldn't feel guilty.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, the guilt should all.

[Stavi]

She feels guilty. She's like, I don't want to be insecure. You're not being insecure. You're reacting like a human being would to end to this situation.

[Ian Lara]

Right.

[Stavi]

And if this. And, and I will say, if this was. If this was me, there's. I'm not having a calm conversation with the guy who texted my wife, good morning, baby. I'm not going to get his side of the story. Like, that's. That's crazy. You know what I mean?

[Ian Lara]

Like, good morning, baby. Baby is crazy.

[Stavi]

I mean, it's insane. What are we talking about? It's your husband. Oh, man. So anyway, if I call.

[Ian Lara]

If I call a girlfriend texting a guy, good morning, baby on Saturday, 8:00am I think that's it.

[Stavi]

That's probably it. Yeah. For sure.

[Ian Lara]

I think we're done.

[Stavi]

It's like, who the is this guy?

[Eldis]

Why would you ever text that to a co worker?

[Ian Lara]

Because you're him.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no other con with the wiped and the message is silenced.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Like you get a divorce lawyer immediately. Honestly. Or.

[Ian Lara]

Or you go to counseling.

[Stavi]

Go to counseling and, and work through it.

[Ian Lara]

If that's the route.

[Stavi]

But yes, those are the two options. Yeah. The third, like, take his word for it and have a conversation with the girl. You're. You're a nice person that has gotten manipulated. This is nuts, but we're rooting for you.

[Ian Lara]

Got a little money. Hire a prime investigation investigator.

[Stavi]

You're so right. Hire a private investigator.

[Ian Lara]

Let's get to the bottom of it.

[Stavi]

We'll match. I'm not even kidding. Contact Elvis. We will match you up to, I don't know, $1,000.

[Ian Lara]

Where's the. Where's the. Can we look up the zip code?

[Stavi]

Yeah, let's see where she's at.

[Ian Lara]

Area code. Oh, that's easy. Oh, yeah, that's easy. I was just there. I was there last week.

[Stavi]

I could have done some research, catch.

[Eldis]

A fight and do a cheater style up inside of Stom World.

[Stavi]

Holy Eldis, you're a genius. We need to do cheaters. Stobby's World Cheaters edition where I. We confront them.

[Ian Lara]

It'd be hilarious if her husband is also a listener and he sends us a message like, hey, Stavi, love you long time listener. So I'm cheating on my wife.

[Stavi]

My wife. I think he's looking at my. I think dishonest whores gotten wise. My buddy Hang in there. Yeah, hang in there.

[Ian Lara]

She's probably going to hire a private investigator. But listen.

[Stavi]

Hi. Yeah, for real? Like, you were being gaslit here. We spent enough time. You get it. You get where we coming from. But we're rooting for you, and we literally will help if you need us to.

[Ian Lara]

That's hilarious. You're a good guy, man.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I mean, we. We. We love our listeners here on Stav's World. World. What do we got, Eldis? Let's do a couple more.

[Caller 1]

Hey, Savi. Hey, Eldis. Hello, guest. Yeah, so I'm ping going, I apologize. Basically, my eldest sister, she's got this boyfriend who sucks. He's just, like, you know, has been caught sneaking into people's family liquor cabinets and just drinking, just throwing them back.

[Stavi]

A grown man, not a child.

[Caller 1]

He sucks, okay? He sucks. And he just told she they're planning on getting married. I hate this guy. My dad passed away about a year ago. We're gonna go celebrate his life, just the four of us. Me, my other sister, my mom, and her. She really wants them to come. We're kind of like, no, we're not bringing any of our partners. I have a really sick, super sexy Latino girlfriend who's awesome, but she's not coming because we just want to be four of us. She's flipping out about it. They're planning on getting married now, which sucks, basically. Should I tell her I fucking hate this guy? They can get married. That's fine. But part of me is like, she should just know. I really don't fucking like him. Also, no one likes him in our family, like cousins and everything. And uncle. Thank you so much, dude. Have a. Have a great day.

[Stavi]

Oh, this is a brutal situation, man.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

To hate a potential in law of your sibling is really tough.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You got to tread lightly, though. I fully get where he's coming from. I get the feel where he's, you know, his feelings here, but over playing your hand could lead to them having the leg up here and some simple sympathy, like, if you're like, he's a fucking p. If you. Without them really deserving it. Now she is being. She's the asshole here for saying. Trying to get anyone to this thing where you said, it's our. We're trying to celebrate our dad's, you know, life. Just immediate family. No one's bringing partners. And her insisting. That's a pretty nice opening, actually. That's a pretty nice opening to be. To air out your true feelings because you have the COVID of. Of how selfish it is. And also that it is your dad's funeral. Essentially, Pops can do you one more solid from beyond the grave and provide you coverage to shit on this piece of shit boyfriend right where you're like, honestly, first of all, you could be like, it's disrespectful for you to want to want special treatment compared to the rest of us. That's number one. One and two, since you're pressing the matter, your boyfriend's a who. I don't want honoring my father's memory for this, this, and this and this reason. That's how I would handle it in terms of, like, family politics. You know what I mean? Like, and her insisting is weird. Now, look, the other thing, you have to realize you're not winning this. People with horrible partners love their stupid partners partners. For some stupid psychological reason, they have their hooks in them. And honestly, the more you hate them, the more it might actually backfire on you. But at the same time, you're a human being and you have to go through life speaking your truth, brother. And I wouldn't swallow my tongue if this guy was that big of a piece of.

[Ian Lara]

Personally, I think this is very tricky, man. As one, as the youngest of five.

[Stavi]

I don't see you give. You have much more.

[Ian Lara]

I don't see a winning scenario burial here.

[Stavi]

There's no winning.

[Ian Lara]

No, that's a good point. I think. I think you may just have to resort to talking behind his back with your other family members. Seriously, Like, I don't. There's no. Like, you're not gonna. Don't. You're gonna tell I don't like this guy. And what, she's gonna not marry him? No. Like, she's not even gonna take it into account as soon as you say that to her, from what it sounds like, you're gonna become her enemy.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Ian Lara]

So it's like, what is it to you? Like it. There's no positive. Only your own ego being like, well, I told her that I didn't like, like him, but it's like nothing is. She's not going to leave him. She's not going to look at him differently. She's going to look at you differently. So there's. There's really no win for you here.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I think you're right. There's only what. What negative is more palatable to you? And the options are you're right saying it for yourself and potentially losing your sister in a real way or biting your tongue, living in. In like this weird, quasi, you know, ignoring having an elephant in the room for the rest of your life. Now, to me, to me personally, because of how I grew up and because so much of my life was pretending shit was okay, that wasn't. I don't think I could handle that as an adult. Yeah, I think I would. And listen, I'm not even saying I wouldn't invite him to my fucking house if he behaved fine, but I was.

[Ian Lara]

Gonna steal out your liquor couch.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's what I'm saying is like. It's almost like you can't. Just because you're pretty sure a guy's gonna commit a crime, you can't arrest him until he's committed the crime. So it's like I'm black.

[Ian Lara]

I understand.

[Stavi]

Yeah. If only we could police the way we knew. No, things would be simpler, but like. But basically. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You can't have Giuliani style tactics on this guy. Even though he fits the profile. You have to wait until he comes out of a fucking H and M with his fucking backpack stuffed full of V necks to sell violent homeroom the next day. Yeah, I just think.

[Ian Lara]

I think as like somebody's brother, you don't have. I mean, it's not your. You liking them is pointless. It's. It's. It doesn't matter. It's inconsequential. It means nothing. Whether you like him or not, it means nothing. Your only role is to wish best for her, your sister. Now, if she comes to you and confides in you and you're having. And she gives you the window of saying your opinion.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

Like, you know, maybe she's having issues and she comes to you and she's like. And then it gives you the window to say your opinion. That's a role. But to just listen, sit down and volunteer your opinion on your partner's. On your. On your sister or brother's partner. I don't think there's a role where you come out as a good guy here.

[Stavi]

Yeah, you're right. And in fact, that. That makes me sort of even retract my original advice where I said the funeral gives or the celebration of life gives him cover. You have to stick with the rules here. And the rules are just no partners. And it just, it's immaterial that this guy's a piece of right. And I think you're right, Ian. It's like you have to just accept this. And, and like I said, if a window comes up. Yes, you're absolutely right. You can say it. No one's going to stop You. But you also have to understand it. Even when the window comes up, it doesn't matter. You can say it and then she'll be sad and crying for a week and then they get back. How many times does that happen?

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Where a friend breaks up with somebody.

[Ian Lara]

And you're like, every time.

[Stavi]

Finally it happens every single time. You say everything that you bitten your tongue about and they get back together a month every single time. So even when you get the window, you have to be careful also, I.

[Ian Lara]

Think the desire to wanting to let somebody know that you don't like their partner when you know nothing is going to come from it. That's a little bit selfish.

[Stavi]

Selfish. You're right.

[Ian Lara]

It's a little bit like trying to feed your own ego of like, I. I was right and I want to be ahead of it before I was right. Cuz you know for a fact he knows she's not going to leave him. If that were. If that were part of the conversation, I would say, yeah, then maybe there is space to have it. But you know, she not right. You're just going to become enemies.

[Stavi]

Right, right. Right. So, yeah. And so just, you know, shout out.

[Ian Lara]

To the hot Latina girlfriend. That's not getting enough respect. Yeah. I mean, she sounds great.

[Stavi]

She sounds awesome. I'd love one of those myself.

[Ian Lara]

I feel like you should focus on that and forget about your sister. Alcoholic.

[Stavi]

Oh, you have to see this drunk every. Thanks. Look at your hot girl gives a dude. Come on, go have some fresh.

[Ian Lara]

I have a really tortilla, super sick hot Latina girlfriend. Those are his words. That's a. You're living the dream.

[Stavi]

You can also tell this, this frustration is coming out of his sister insisting he comes to the dad's funeral. Yeah, there's a little bit of that. You also have to recognize when your sister's just. You gotta let that go. And, and my worry here would be that his sister might just be an enemy anyway. You know what I mean? If she continues to advocate for a guy who's being a ass.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And she just kind of becomes his teammate, that. That is an unfortunate thing that happens.

[Ian Lara]

I mean, they're teammates. That's what it is. That's what it is.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Ian Lara]

I will say this. Maybe this is a conversation you could have as somebody who has lost a parent. I think it's something to bring up is like with her, it's like, unless it's a husband or a wife, you don't want to make a boyfriend or somebody like that part of something like this. Because this lives on with you forever.

[Stavi]

Right?

[Ian Lara]

And you don't want this person. Person. Once you've moved on and you're now married with like a new husband or whatever, you don't want this person to be inscribed into that memory of like, totally.

[Stavi]

Well, no, he doesn't want this guy here either way.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, no, I'm saying her, she wouldn't want that.

[Stavi]

Right, right.

[Ian Lara]

She wouldn't want that in the future. It's like you don't want to look back at your dad's celebration of life and see some who was an alcoholic.

[Eldis]

You don't want the guy in the back, in the selfie, taking the woods.

[Ian Lara]

Or whatever, scattering his little shot that he brought from a flat.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what I'm. I think that's what this comes from. And I think ultimately, dude, put your foot down. Don't let this come to this thing. And yeah, whatever you have to do to do that, I think even if you have to, you know, yell at your sister, whatever. But you gotta tread lightly here, my friend.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Ian Lara]

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[Stavi]

Why don't you cap us off with something good?

[Ian Lara]

Elders, how many of these do you get, man? These are crazy.

[Stavi]

We get a lot. Yeah, we get a ton.

[Caller 1]

Hey Stav. Hey Elvis. I have a question. Oh, hello guest.

[Ian Lara]

Thank you.

[Caller 1]

I have a question about my relationship with my girlfriend right now. So for background. I'm 23, she's 21. We've been dating for like a year.

[Stavi]

Ish.

[Caller 1]

And it's going great. It's really wonderful. I love her, she loves me. She's beautiful. It's. Everything's great. She's super creative and talented, etc, etc, all the boring shit. But really recently we've had a bit of an issue because she bleached her eyebrows.

[Ian Lara]

Blonde and hilarious.

[Caller 1]

She was like talking to me about.

[Stavi]

One year old's problem.

[Caller 1]

A week, maybe two weeks. And as she was talking to me, I was very honest with her, and I was like, look, I don't think it's gonna look very good, but if you want to do it, I support you in doing it. And eventually she did it. And then she FaceTimed me at the time, and I. I was like, it looks better than I thought it would.

[Stavi]

And that wasn't a happy enough response for her anyway. This guy's awesome. She. She keeps re.

[Caller 1]

Bleaching her eyebrows, and every time I see her, I'm, like, thinking, damn, she's so pretty. But I wish she had normal eyebrows again. What do I do?

[Stavi]

What do you do?

[Caller 1]

Am I like. Should I say that?

[Stavi]

I feel like that's not the way.

[Caller 1]

To say it, obviously. So if I should say something, you gotta tell me what to do.

[Stavi]

Help me out here.

[Caller 1]

Stuff.

[Stavi]

I gotta help you out. What are you. Oh, hey, how do I control my girlfriend's appearance against her will? You don't. You're a dumb little idiot. Idiot. This is what happens when you're 21. She's 22. You're not gonna be able to tell her to it. You can't tell your story.

[Ian Lara]

She's 21. Yeah, he's 23.

[Stavi]

Yeah, dude, you're not.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah, also, like, eyebrow. Come on. Like, that's a. That'll be done soon. You don't gotta.

[Stavi]

I know.

[Ian Lara]

Ride it out. No one's gonna keep bleaching their eyebrows.

[Stavi]

This is not a real problem. You loser. This. And by the way, the fact that the type of person in a relationship who nips a girl's appearance that he doesn't like in the butt is not a nervous podcast listener. Voicemail leaver. If you were gonna control her appearance, you would have done it already. There's nothing in the world I can say. And by the way, I'm not even advocating for that. I wouldn't tell my girl to fucking, like, you know, to change her appearance. If I didn't like something, I'd let her fucking ride it out. I don't give a fuck. But it's like, yeah, you're. You clearly. Like, this is. You don't get to say. Here's what you could do, you know, you do something stupid to your face, that would. That would backfire. She would just leave you somebody else. She's a hot girl that does. That does dumb through her eyebrows and still is hot.

[Ian Lara]

Sounds hot.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, she sounds cool. She sounds way cooler than you.

[Ian Lara]

So.

[Stavi]

Yeah, dude, this is the. This is what this is part of the, this is part of what goes the hot dating a hot girl package is you just gotta. They do whatever they want with their appearance.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And you're the ride.

[Ian Lara]

I mean, this is not going to happen if you're dating a 29 year old. Sure, they're probably not going to bleach their eyebrows blonde.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Ian Lara]

But if you, if you, if you're going to take the, the, the joys of, of 21 year old vage, you have to take with the backlash that come from it. Sometimes they wake up and they want to bleach their face.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Something odd happens, bro.

[Ian Lara]

Right?

[Stavi]

Who gives a.

[Ian Lara]

That's what it is.

[Stavi]

Yeah. This is so funny. He. He hates this and he's such a coward. He can't even admit it to us. He's like, you got to tell me what to do. St. You're not. There's nothing to do. But buddy, enjoy, man, enjoy. Have a good time. Don't be a. Yeah. You'll break up and learn how to lie to women when you know the right answer on insignificant. Pretend it looked awesome.

[Ian Lara]

I mean if you tell, if you, if you tell her it look awesome, she'll probably stop. She'll probably stop doing it. Like it'll probably, it'll probably be like, all right, well that's fine.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Lara]

She'll probably be like, I'm going blue now.

[Stavi]

That is actually true. You 100 bought your yourself minimum 2 extra weeks of eyebrows by being like. By her rumping that.

[Ian Lara]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Dude, you're a idiot. You're. You're 23. This is dumb. Young, young guy problems. It's. It's literally cute. This is like seeing a. This is like when you see a video of a baby trying to like eat toast for the first time or avocado and it's just got. Avocado toast has just got green all over its nose. This is you trying to be in a. It's so funny to look at 23 year old problems and be like a. Yeah. Oh. He thinks if he tells her to bleach her eyebrows back, that will help him. He thinks that won't be the worst mistake he's ever made in his life. Well, good for you, buddy. You're cute. Thank you to everybody who called in. Thank you, Ian. Great episode, buddy. We really appreciate you coming by and we will talk to you guys next time. Bye Bye.

[Ian Lara]

Thank you, man. Thank you for having me.

[Stavi]

Of course. Foreign.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Ian Lara]

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