#115 - Will Sasso

Summary

Stavvy's World – Episode #115: Will Sasso

Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Will Sasso
Release Date: February 10, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of "Stavvy's World," host Stavros Halkias welcomes comedian and actor Will Sasso to the show. The episode delves deep into their shared experiences, family backgrounds, and the intricate balance between comedy and acting.

---

Early Life and Family Background

Stavros Halkias and Will Sasso both hail from immigrant families, which significantly shaped their upbringing and perspectives. Stavros shares his connection to Los Angeles and references their mutual friend, Eldis, highlighting the tight-knit nature of their circle.

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [01:30]: "We're in Los Angeles, part of the Stavi's World Takes LA Hollywood Halkia series where we get some of our favorites that live up here."

Will delves into his heritage, revealing that his parents immigrated from Naples, Italy, in 1966. He recounts the challenges his father faced, including language barriers and working in restaurants across Europe.

Notable Quote:

Will Sasso [04:15]: "My parents were really like, do whatever the fuck you want. But love it."

Stavros contrasts his own Greek immigrant experience, noting the differences in attitudes towards America between Greek and Italian families.

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Immigrant Experiences and Cultural Identity

The conversation shifts to the nuances of maintaining cultural identity while assimilating into a new country. Will discusses the regional differences within Italy, emphasizing his fluency in the Neapolitan dialect, which sets him apart from the more Americanized Italian-Americans Stavros is familiar with.

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [02:30]: "I'm like all right. If Sasso's still kicking, maybe I can turn it around."

Will highlights the strong sense of community among his relatives in Canada, reminiscing about family gatherings, beach outings, and traditional activities like clam digging.

Notable Quote:

Will Sasso [07:10]: "We were at the beach every weekend in Vancouver... just hanging out until midnight."

Stavros reflects on his father's struggles with English, sharing humorous anecdotes about language barriers in everyday situations.

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [05:59]: "I'm like, my life's fucking awesome, dude. If we were in Greece, I would be struggling to find big and tall clothing."

---

Comedy and Acting Career

Relationship with Comedy: Both Stavros and Will have a deep-rooted passion for comedy. Stavros discusses his journey from being a fan to performing school plays and eventually pursuing stand-up comedy.

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [36:03]: "Do you want dramatic or comedy stuff? I want to do stand up."

Will shares his path into acting, starting with crashing auditions in Vancouver and eventually landing roles in Canadian shows like "Neon Rider."

Notable Quote:

Will Sasso [46:02]: "The pitch of this show was like a Canadian Knight Rider, but about helping at-risk youth."

Stand-Up vs. Acting: The duo engages in a lively debate about the merits of stand-up comedy versus acting. Will defends the discipline required for stand-up, while Stavros offers a more irreverent take, suggesting that stand-up is "pretty easy" compared to the complexities of acting.

Notable Quote:

Will Sasso [50:27]: "You have to pop from other shit."

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [50:27]: "You could be 80%, you could be not bad at acting. Pretty easy to be good at."

---

Reflections on Iconic Performances

The conversation shifts to iconic performances, particularly Will's appearance on "Law & Order." Stavros praises Will's over-the-top performance, likening it to a "mad TV character," and reflects on the depth behind seemingly comedic roles.

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [56:16]: "You're like playing that character as a buffoon Hamlet, where it's like, we all play that guy."

Will discusses the emotional layers of acting, emphasizing his love for portraying both comedic and dramatic roles and the challenge of maintaining authenticity.

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Listener Calls and Advice Segment

Throughout the episode, listeners call in with personal problems seeking advice from Stavros and Will. The hosts blend humor with genuine insights, often leaning towards irreverent and candid responses.

1. Call from Elvis (00:32:00):

   • Issue: Struggling with connecting to immigrant in-laws while planning to propose.
   • Advice: Will suggests bringing traditional food to bridge cultural gaps, while Stavros emphasizes respect and honesty in approaching in-laws.
   • Notable Quote:

     Will Sasso [75:02]: "Go for it. Throw that Hail Mary."

2. Call from Eldis (01:01:00):

   • Issue: Mother's phone receives AI-generated porn of her husband.
   • Advice: Stavros and Will humorously dissect the situation, leaning towards the possibility of hacking rather than actual AI involvement.
   • Notable Quote:

     Stavros Halkias [77:11]: "Maybe he just learned about AI and tried to jerk off with your mom using a filter."

3. Call from a 28-Year-Old (01:10:00):

   • Issue: Limited dating experience and anxiety about entering the dating scene.
   • Advice: Stavros encourages confidence-building and taking proactive steps, while Will emphasizes the importance of resilience and personal growth.
   • Notable Quote:

     Will Sasso [119:06]: "Just start taking swings, bro. Start failing. Take some losses, and then eventually you will win."

4. Other Calls (01:20:00):

   • Issues: Roommate stealing shampoo and other minor domestic annoyances.
   • Advice: The hosts provide humorous yet practical solutions, encouraging boundaries and open communication.
   • Notable Quote:

     Stavros Halkias [90:46]: "If you're stealing someone's shampoo, have your own stash."

---

Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Stavros and Will reflect on the diverse range of topics covered, from cultural identity and comedy to personal relationships and everyday dilemmas. They reiterate the importance of communication, respect, and personal growth in navigating life's challenges.

Final Quote:

Stavros Halkias [138:49]: "Just keep moving, bro."

---

Key Takeaways

• Cultural Heritage: Both hosts emphasize the profound impact of their immigrant backgrounds on their lives and careers.

• Balancing Comedy and Acting: A recurring theme is the delicate balance between comedic expression and serious acting roles, highlighting the versatility required in both fields.

• Navigating Relationships: Practical advice is given on handling complex relationships, whether with family-in-laws or romantic partners.

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: Throughout the episode, humor is used as a tool to address and alleviate personal and interpersonal issues.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Stavros Halkias [01:30]: "We're in Los Angeles, part of the Stavi's World Takes LA Hollywood Halkia series where we get some of our favorites that live up here."

• Will Sasso [04:15]: "My parents were really like, do whatever the fuck you want. But love it."

• Stavros Halkias [02:30]: "I'm like all right. If Sasso's still kicking, maybe I can turn it around."

• Will Sasso [07:10]: "We were at the beach every weekend in Vancouver... just hanging out until midnight."

• Stavros Halkias [36:03]: "Do you want dramatic or comedy stuff? I want to do stand up."

• Will Sasso [46:02]: "The pitch of this show was like a Canadian Knight Rider, but about helping at-risk youth."

• Will Sasso [50:27]: "You have to pop from other shit."

• Stavros Halkias [50:27]: "You could be 80%, you could be not bad at acting. Pretty easy to be good at."

• Will Sasso [75:02]: "Go for it. Throw that Hail Mary."

• Stavros Halkias [77:11]: "Maybe he just learned about AI and tried to jerk off with your mom using a filter."

• Will Sasso [119:06]: "Just start taking swings, bro. Start failing. Take some losses, and then eventually you will win."

• Stavros Halkias [90:46]: "If you're stealing someone's shampoo, have your own stash."

• Stavros Halkias [138:49]: "Just keep moving, bro."

---

This episode of "Stavvy's World" offers a blend of insightful conversations, personal anecdotes, and humorous exchanges, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike. Will Sasso's candidness paired with Stavros Halkias's relatable hosting style provides listeners with both entertainment and valuable takeaways.

Transcript

[Stavros Halkias]

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[Eldis]

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[Will Sasso]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Will Sasso]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Will Sasso]

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[Will Sasso]

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[Will Sasso]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Will Sasso]

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[Stavros Halkias]

Void no PROHIBITED by law. See terms and conditions 18/OPPA welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STAV Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We're in Los Angeles, part of the Stavi's World Takes la Hollywood Halkia series where we get some of our favorites that live over here. And we are pumped to have Will Sasso on the couch. Will, thanks for being here. You don't understand. Eldis is so starship. We both are. But he doesn't give a fuck about anyone. We were huge mad TV guys.

[Will Sasso]

Oh, cheers.

[Stavros Halkias]

Huge mat mad TV guys as fat little children. You know what I mean? Just I. I being very small and being like I caught the tail end of Farley and then they took my fat guy on TV away.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Very soon after. Who's coming round the bend?

[Will Sasso]

Man, TV always had a fat guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

And me like literally.

[Will Sasso]

Artie leaves the show and it's like we need a new warm body. No. Must be a fat has to be fat as.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you were fat as back in the day.

[Will Sasso]

Oh, I was good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good in comedy.

[Will Sasso]

Not just come comedy fat like. Oh no early twenties gonna fall over fat. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

No. Seeing you alive really helps me because I don't got many. I don't got many of the guys I looked up to that were fat as. I'm like all right. If Sasso's still kicking, maybe I can turn it around.

[Will Sasso]

That's great. No, I. You know, it's interesting. Look, I'm a fan. I'm happy to be here. I'm stoked.

[Stavros Halkias]

Appreciate it.

[Will Sasso]

We've been going back and forth a little bit on ig, and I haven't been through New York, and. And it was in a while, so it's been one of those things where I'm like, you know, had I been there, I've been. I would have hit you up. But I'm. I'm so happy to be sitting with you. And I feel like there's so many things that we kind of just, you know, have in common. Not just because the business, but also, you know, I don't know, we'll get into it. But your background and your immigrant parents being Mediterranean.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that was another thing that shocked me because I was obviously just a. Like a fan growing up, but then becoming friends on Instagram and seeing your stories where you're in Italy and you're not doing the typical. I'm gonna. From all the east coast Italians I know, they're like, I'm Italian. And they might have a vowel at the end. They're not. They're like. They don't speak. They say they're Italian. You know what I mean? They're eating chicken par. They're eating, like, deep fried chicken parm. And then I see you, who fucking.

[Will Sasso]

You don't put chicken with pasta in any way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. I see you, and you just seem like a white guy. No disrespect. I don't know, you know, I just, you know, Canadian, I suppose, but still, I'm like, that's.

[Will Sasso]

Makes you way whiter, which makes you way wider.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then you're speaking fucking Italian. You're like, really speaking Italian. You're like, I'm with my Nona. It's like some little Italian lady. I'm like, what the fuck? Sasso's truly ethnic, and he's been hiding it the whole time. It's awesome.

[Will Sasso]

My parents were this big and brown, and it's true. And they. Yeah, they immigrated from Napoli in the. In 66.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Will Sasso]

My brother and sister. My. My sister was a toddler. My brother was a newborn. And then I came out, you know, 10 years later or whatever. The mistake. And then. And. And. But, yeah, the old man brought aunts and uncles. He was the only one who spoke English. He was in restaurants all over Europe and blah, blah, blah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Awesome.

[Will Sasso]

Waiter, maitre d. And. And so yeah, it. It. The mo. The bulk of the family is back there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Will Sasso]

So I do have this Napolitan, like, thing where my upbringing was extremely.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, Napolitan, truly, like, old world, like.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nobody spoke English in the house. Type of stuff. I mean, you know, and you were young. You were at least the youngest one, so they were probably a little.

[Will Sasso]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

By the time you came around, they had, like, been in the. In Canada for, like, you know, a decade.

[Will Sasso]

It sounds like my mom was, you know, my mom, like, a lot of. A lot of women really, you know, the. You know, the. The housewives and mothers that stayed home while their husbands went out and worked in the 60s and 70s and they watch Sesame street, they watch Soap oper, and they learned how to speak, you know, so, yeah, my mom had the most adorable little broken English accent and love that. And, yeah, the old man prided himself on being able to speak better English. Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. That I'm not familiar with. Every Greek person I grew up with actively hated America. They hated being here. My dad still, like, we, like. I hung out with my dad. I put real facetime with him in for a while. We were kind of on the rocks for a while. And I'm like, surely I've imagined how bad his English is. And then we fucking. He's just trying to order something at a restaurant. It's not even, like a conversation. It's like, it was, to be fair, Korean barbecue.

[Will Sasso]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it's like a double language barrier.

[Will Sasso]

Bulgogi is a hard word for anybody.

[Stavros Halkias]

But he still couldn't even, like, make pleasantries with the waiter. But I respect that. Your.

[Will Sasso]

Your.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your dad was like, look, we're here. This is a better place.

[Will Sasso]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Than Italy. Like this. We're. We're having a better life here.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. He'd always romanticized coming out to the States or Canada. My. My. No, no, my. My father's father was a chef, and so he used to go over to Chicago and New York and cook.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Will Sasso]

But he didn't have papers. It was always, you know, under the table or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, under the table and maybe a little. You should spice that story up. You could. For Al Capone.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The timing's right.

[Will Sasso]

Right. For your old grandfather, you know, Capone. And it was my. Yeah, it was. My grandfather was like, hey, this untreated syphilis is going to make your balls melt off the side of your leg.

[Stavros Halkias]

Use a condom.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And he's like, what, is this off the boat? Whop. No. Fuck you. And then if he'd only listen to you. We'd still have Al Capone around.

[Will Sasso]

We still have Al Capone. And. Yeah, so they sent. So Capone sent my grandfather back and he told my dad, like, check out the. The immigration to Canada because they really relaxed it in the 60s. We had a massive influx of, you know, a lot of Greeks, Italians, Portuguese coming into. Into Canada, a lot in Toronto. But the old man had sort of the sort of loose promise of a job at the Hotel Vancouver.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Will Sasso]

In Vancouver. Because he had this, you know, resume that been all over Europe and it was a real hotelier.

[Stavros Halkias]

So your dad and your grandfather.

[Will Sasso]

No, my. My grandfather was. That stayed, you know, back. And they.

[Stavros Halkias]

But they were both chefs.

[Will Sasso]

No, the old. My granddad was a chef. My. My father fancies himself a chef waiter and Matrix. And so, yeah, so he came over and. And yeah, like I said, I had cousins.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Will Sasso]

And uncles and aunts. So it was this thing like, you know, I mean, there's whatever, you know, and the immigrant experience, like, being the. The children of immigrants, the fucking shit, the. The gnarly sort of stuff that's still, you know, their world. They grew up during World War II and they do things like, you know, you know, whatever. There's hundreds of stories. But, you know, we were at the beach every weekend in. In Vancouver. And not like the good beach where, you know, you have to pay for parking, of course. Not like off the. The rock jetty that the ferry terminal is out at the end of. You know, you don't. You just park the cars along the freeway and shit. Like, again, so many things, but, like, stuff that. Going back to Napoli, I'm like, oh, this is great, because we're doing shit like, you know, my Zionino. My Uncle John would take like, a chicken wire fence and, like, bring it. What's that for? Pile up rocks. And then we're all going clam digging and picking mussels and shit. And then just. They're all over the, you know, the chicken wire with the fire underneath and just lemon and beautiful dude, until midnight, just hanging out.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome. So was there any, like, you're the baby of this Italian family, right? Was there any, like, pressure on you to be. Did they want you to. Like, what did your siblings do? Did they have that traditional immigrant, you gotta fucking succeed, gotta be a lawyer type shit, or do they want you?

[Will Sasso]

No, they. I mean, my parents were really like, do whatever the fuck you want.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow, Nice.

[Will Sasso]

But love it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

So my brother and sister both. Yeah. No, One's in show business. And, you know, my brother's in real estate. My sister is in interpreter services.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, cool.

[Will Sasso]

And sort of, you know, really big, you know, inspiration for the immigrant story and finding interpreter services, of which there's so many in Canada, because the government gives a shit about that over there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Figure it out in America. I don't really fucking care.

[Will Sasso]

You mean an interpreter will come to the DMV and help me?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's hilarious. Maybe not, dude. I didn't even consider that being possible.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, isn't that wild?

[Stavros Halkias]

Because the whole thing, especially in America, it's like that you all. The oldest kid is the interpreter. Like, I. I truly like, would like trans. I would, like, fill out paperwork from this time. I was like 12 years old.

[Will Sasso]

You were the oldest.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was the oldest.

[Will Sasso]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And you have brothers, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Two younger brothers.

[Will Sasso]

Okay. Wow, that's wild.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. So for me, it was definitely the like. And again, I guess it sounds like a cheerier immigration with your family. You know what I mean?

[Will Sasso]

When did your folks come over?

[Stavros Halkias]

In the 80s.

[Will Sasso]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

So they came. What happened was my mom's side of the family, they had moved in the 70s when my mom was younger and she hated it. She, like, her dad just took a job and this is how Greek men behaved back then. He just like got offered a job in America. He was in Greece. Some guy at a coffee house like, got a sick job in America for you. And he's like, I'll take it. No, like, let me see what my wife and 20 and 17 year old daughters think about this. She's just like, gals were moving to America.

[Will Sasso]

Amazing. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so she came back. She went back to Greece the second she could, I guess. Actually maybe they moved when she was maybe 19, and she came back when she was like 21. Met my dad in Athens. They decided to come visit in 1981. Like, they were like, we're gonna go for a year, save some money in America, come back to Greece. Just never came back. So it was like this weird.

[Will Sasso]

That's. Yeah, it was like this weird.

[Stavros Halkias]

There was no, like, there was no, like, the American dream. There was like. And the way my dad looked at.

[Will Sasso]

It was like, we're stuck in America.

[Stavros Halkias]

Truly. My dad was like, not only that, I mean, obviously he wanted to do it, but as soon as shit started going bad, he was like, my fucking bitch in laws trapped me in America. My dad has completely rewritten history where it's like it was never his idea to come to America. Meanwhile, he's still like, we would have been better off. Everyone in my generation does not have a job. The financial collapse, it's like everyone had 10 years of the worst. Like, it was just. You cannot argue that we would have been better off. But he still is like, I fucked up so bad. He like apologizes to me that we didn't grow up in Greece. I'm like, my life's fucking awesome, dude. If we were in Greece, I would be struggling to find big and tall clothing. I would be doing like, the level of comedy in Greece is like sub Telemundo. Sure, I would be fucking. I would be like putting blackface on and chasing a midget around on television. That's what I'd be trying to do. Like, that would be my career in comedy. But it's just like, so it's just, it's fun to hear a like, positive immigrant story because.

[Will Sasso]

Or you might have been like a guy with like an, you know, like some big olive field who's like the funniest, you know, the funniest.

[Stavros Halkias]

I might had a great life. I had some sunlight. Yeah. I think about it because it's like, nice tan wife. Right.

[Will Sasso]

With that, the, the, the quality of life, of course, in the Mediterranean and all they do is drink olive oil.

[Stavros Halkias]

They just hang out.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. And yeah, they're all just sun kissed and happy. And it's, of course it's very different. I think about it a lot, like just being there in the spring, like seeing guys that like on the street, like friends of the family and people I got along with. There was this one dude who delivers water on a scooter. He's like this bigger dude and he's got like the scooter, you know, he's a big guy and the scooter like dropped because of him. And then he's got this fucking rat trap on the back with like tons of water. Water. And it's like just going up a.

[Stavros Halkias]

Mountain with no guard rails, doesn't give a cobble.

[Will Sasso]

Somebody up and down stairs and, and he's like. And the guy couldn't be more chill. You know, I see him and, and we're in the, the, the, you know, the, the area that literally my, you know, my mom and her siblings grew up in that one of my aunts is still in the, the old place that they grew up in. And, and it's that romantic like right in Napoli, right behind like the Piazza Delito with the, it's just, you know, with the clotheslines going back and forth. It's very Italian, very Napolitan. And this guy's just like. When I was leaving town, like, I'm walking down that street and I'm. My wife and I, and we're going back to the thing. I'm going to. We gotta drive to Rome and then get out of there. And we're leaving the family and it's gnarly. And we're a little bit misty.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And this guy m. I'm like, this guy, you know, they're. They are so joyful there to be doing whatever. And he's got this like, little, like, garage kind of, you know, corner store, which is provisions and water. Totally couldn't be more chill. And I look at that guy and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Go, I don't know, maybe his life is better. That is the actual. Damn, dude. Maybe my dad is right. No, we would have still been miserable because we have, you know, his genes and DNA. Like, that's the thing. It's like wherever he would have been wouldn't have been good. But. But the Greek life is. And Italian. Whatever. It's like, there is something so nice about. Cause the whole American thing is you have to fucking. If you work hard as fuck and get enough money, you can like, what, take time off to go on the beach that this guy just goes to. Like, I can get. If I work really fucking hard, I can take two months off and live in Greece and like, take a walk in the same street and like, yeah, if this guy. Like, even the people in the generation that had no their jobs weren't that great. It's like, they work a little bit, they fucking have coffee, they go to the fucking beach. Like, I truly. My cousin in Greece that has a sick life and he actually is an actor. Weirdly, like, he's gotten into comedies. Found one of the weird, only comedy jobs in Greece that was not too far off from what I described earlier about what my. The level of comedy I would be doing. But hey, he's funny, he's good at it. Whatever time of his life, dude, he would just go. He would just like, work at a bar for three months and come back with less money. But he was just on vacation. Just like, he's basically just paying his way for a vacation. And there is the philosophical thing of, like, work hard as shit to be able to go on vacations, that people with less money just have that quality of life. And it's like, maybe that's it. Maybe that actually is that. Is it because they have an actual. They have actual community to like. Yeah, truly, they know people. They still live. They're around it and it's like.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's why my. My goal is to for real be a three months in Greece guy.

[Will Sasso]

Really?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

Good for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. But it's still. We're still a ways away, but it's like, you know, kind of what I'm saying is, like, goes good for another, you know, five, 10 years.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I start just late summer, early fall. Don't even try and find me.

[Will Sasso]

I love it.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm on the beach, baby.

[Will Sasso]

I'm all for it, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

This, this trip in particular was like a sort of a thing where my wife was like, we should really consider.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, dude.

[Will Sasso]

And we're, you know, we're. We're, you know, it's like, it's like, whatever, man.

[Caller]

We're.

[Will Sasso]

We're. It's like thinking about. We don't have kids, but we're, we're trying for kids and stuff, so.

[Stavros Halkias]

So that might even be a better reason. Yeah, well, like, you might actually want.

[Will Sasso]

To have kids there, but also, like, they need to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Smart move. Younger wife, by the way.

[Will Sasso]

Cheers. Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know. Yeah. You being like. I'm thinking about it.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You got to get a younger wife to be able to do that.

[Will Sasso]

So I, you know, she's like. And she's, you know, from Northern California and Irish, you know, so she's like. But she took to the whole Italian thing and, and also did her DNA and has like a grandfather who's Greek.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh.

[Will Sasso]

So like a grand great grandfather. So she's always talking about. She's like, I want to go back there and see someone who's like. I'm like, you're not going to find some Irish looking. There's not going to be some, you know, lady who looks like this guy's.

[Stavros Halkias]

DNA has been bleached out.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Stavros Halkias]

This guy's not. It's not.

[Will Sasso]

There's not going to be someone there who looks like Jennifer Connelly.

[Stavros Halkias]

No.

[Will Sasso]

No. Serving you squid. But. So she's like, you know, we have kids. They need to know about this side and they need to blah, blah, blah. And maybe we could, you know, figure out, like, get a place for a little bit, you know, like, that sort of thing. Because truly, like, and your cousin and the family back there, they do live incredible lives.

[Stavros Halkias]

A better life. It's not even close.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. We're going to the beach with, you know, and it was really nice because it reminded me of, like, childhood because, you know, later on everyone goes their separate ways. Not the, not my aunts and uncles and all them. You know, my mom and dad and they were all very tight. But the cousins, we don't do a good job right. Keeping together. But over there, they sure fucking.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And you know, we go to this beach and it's like I look around and we're all just like where, you know, sit here, sit there, like thing in a fucking chairs. And everyone's sitting together and. And you know, people are bringing, you know, baked pastas, stuff like this and just like stuff and buns just hanging out and stuff. Yeah, and just like hanging out and then just going into the water and thing. And you lose track of time. And let's go get gelato and everyone's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, the day is perfect. And my family, we have. My uncle has just had untreated diabetes that he's. Has not let him slow down. Has not slowed him down one bit in terms like, he looks worse every time I see him. But boy, oh boy, does that motherfucker know where to eat. And it was like having like a much less charming Anthony Bourdain like in the family. Like, that's the cool thing about when you go over there. It's like they just know shit.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, they just.

[Stavros Halkias]

They actually like, they talk. They have like. And we would just anywhere we were, they would take us to a beach and he would like route it to like a specific restaurant. And it's just like, he doesn't have fucking Yelp, Google any of that shit. He's just like. I heard a guy makes incredible goat here, right? So we're gonna go check it out. And he was always fucking right.

[Will Sasso]

That's fuck garage.

[Stavros Halkias]

I did. Yeah, it's. It's a. It is awesome. Folks, you know me, you know, I'm trying to get about my nutrition, all right. Last year I took the whole gear trying to lose weight. We're doing Stavi gets ripped over on the YouTube channel. It's a struggle for me to stay healthy, get shed some pounds. I gained. I lost some weight at the beginning of the year and then I gained some back during the holidays. And while we were film filming tires before this tour started, I got. Right now as we're preparing for the tour, I needed to set myself straight. Okay. Break my bad habits. That happened with me thanks to Factor Meals. They're so easy. We were using Factor Meals around here before they were a sponsor. I tried a bunch of stuff to try and get easy meals that come prepared. No fucking cooking, no bullshit. Just. These are chef prepared for you. Okay? It's perfect. For your active, busy lifestyle. They have com. They have over 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week. It's fun. It is. You still feel like you're at the. You know, you still feel like you're at a restaurant when you're putting together your order. You feel like you're. You get to tailor whatever the fuck you want. I'm. I'm. I'm bouncing between calorie smart and protein plus right now they also have keto, if that's your thing. We're excited to have these with us on the tour. We're gonna have the factors ready to go in that bus's fridge, and we got something to heat up as we're. As we're traveling, as we're. As we're bringing great mirth and joy to the people. If you want to be like me and Big Eldo working. Working in the booth right now. Eat smart with Factor. Get started at factor meals.com stavi50off and use code stavi50off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's code stavi50off@ Factor meals.com stavi50off. S, T, A, V, V, Y. 50 off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. But. And did you. So you said most of your families over there. Did you have relatives here, too, or in Canada?

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, yeah, I had a couple. Yeah. The old man was like, again, it was sort of his, like, thing to, like. So there was. There was two sets of, you know, like, an aunt and uncle and an aunt and uncle. And then my. My uncle John was. Was 19, and he married my Aunt Kathy, who was, you know, Canadian girl, so. And there were already. There were already six kids were already born.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Wow.

[Will Sasso]

That came over from, you know, like, my brother and sister were older, and four of my other cousins, if I'm not mistaken, were born there. And then, you know, whatever. Like, five or six more were born in Canada.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you guys got to. Yeah, so we were all replacing the. The population fast.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. And the Italians would come over and we would go there and. And. Yeah, so it was a very. It was nice, you know, growing up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sorry, did you have, like. Because we always had Greek school. Did they have anything like that? Or you just learned Italian in the house or. I mean, they never made you go to after school?

[Will Sasso]

No. No.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's nice.

[Will Sasso]

So we. Yeah, we just kind of learned. I mean, I just kind of. And I speak kind of a broken. I don't have a huge vocabulary, and I don't speak good Italian. I only speak really Napolitan, the dialect, which, you know, those, those, those.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's fascinating.

[Will Sasso]

Regional things are very different from one another. So in Rome, people are like, what are you trying to say?

[Stavros Halkias]

Who is this hillbilly? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really. Yeah. Because that's another thing that's super fascinating about immigrant shit is like the. A lot of the Greek I speak is, like, frozen in carbonite from the 1980s. That's. My parents came in the 80s.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, you definitely experienced this eldest without Albanian, Right? Like, you. They speak like an old. Like you kind of speak like, formal, old Albanian.

[Caller]

When I hear, like, Albanians in the north speaking, like, I don't understand it at all.

[Will Sasso]

It's crazy.

[Caller]

And it's similar with, like, you know, I feel like coast have, like, a thick accent, too.

[Stavros Halkias]

And, like, whenever you say Kosovar, it sounds like a slur because of the little Albanian hate you put on it. We also like to ask our guests, will, what do you know about Albanians? Did they have any over in Vancouver?

[Will Sasso]

I had no idea that you would call someone from Albania an Albaniar.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, no, no, no. He's talking about Kosovars.

[Will Sasso]

Kosovar.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's coming in.

[Will Sasso]

I've already forgot the word.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's how little he respects Albania.

[Will Sasso]

I know nothing about.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Will Sasso]

Sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's good. That's fascinating, because Albanians, I guess, didn't make it to Canada because.

[Will Sasso]

No, you know, I guess they made.

[Caller]

It to Italy, though. I got family in Italy because it's close.

[Stavros Halkias]

Isn't Albania.

[Will Sasso]

Right there?

[Caller]

A lot of Albanians, like, fled to Italy in, like, the 70s or 80s or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

They were mad when they found out it wasn't still fascist. They're like, what the is this? I heard this is going to be a cool racist paradise. Yeah. Now I'm the one who's at the bottom of the social hierarchy. This sucks. Interesting. I guess it's an east coast thing. I bet you they have them in Toronto. That's the other thing about. I do feel like there are. I feel like there's probably Albanians, but just because they're all over the. They're on. Actually. My. My Lyft driver was telling me they got Albanians here, which I didn't know. Interesting, LA having Albanians. I didn't.

[Caller]

I haven't heard too much about Albanians in la, but I bet they're. We're everywhere, man.

[Will Sasso]

We're right under your. Speaking of our heroes, wasn't John Belushi.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a hard one. I Unfortunately, I do have to cede that to eldest, and that really is a sore subject in terms of our Greek versus Albanian supremacy, which is a huge. Greek people are very racist towards Albanians traditionally. And that's our fun little thing we like to keep alive here. That's world. We like to keep old world white on white, regional racism, balcon racism.

[Will Sasso]

My old man had. My old man was, like, best friends with a Greek guy that he worked with. He came over. Andy. Andy Ducas, his name was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And he was great. You know, he looked like. Yeah, he. He was like, you know, he's a Danny DeVito type looking, you know, a little guy with chest hair and the whole nine. And. Yeah, it was. He was so awesome because my old man was ready. You know, he's a very quiet guy. And it was only when Andy would call the house or come over, he would call the house and he'd. You know, you'd answer the phone. Hey, goodbye. Hi, Mr. Duke is. Hey. Your father. Shisham. Yeah. And, you know, and the old man would come over to the phone. That was like. There was that, you know, and. Yeah, when those guys would get together, it was like. Yeah, it was uzo and. And, you know, anisette and just, you know, with the. They go in the yard and they don't wear shorts in the yard. They just pull their slacks up to here to get some. And their shirts all the way undone.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And they both worked at Hotel Vancouver.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love it.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, they were great.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a nice little bromance right there.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, it was awesome. And we would go to, like, Greek weddings because of his family.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And then I remember the Greek word for sit is. And that means in Italian.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really?

[Will Sasso]

So. Which is. You don't say that in the house.

[Stavros Halkias]

So.

[Will Sasso]

So everyone's like, katsu cats. How come no one's upset? How come no one's angry? How come no one's getting slapped across the room for saying katsu?

[Stavros Halkias]

Hey, katsu A cots is. That's good to know.

[Will Sasso]

Katso well, Kato, but gots still, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, is that where ugots.

[Will Sasso]

I think gots like my dick. Like, you know, like. Yeah, right, My dick.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gabagool, basically, it's like a bastardization of capicola.

[Will Sasso]

Italians say capicol.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, we got a real Italian here. Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

When they say gabagool, you know, but whatever. Italians. Look, the whole, like, Italian American thing. Yeah, look again.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, the episode.

[Will Sasso]

What?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm sorry to cut you off, but the episode of Sopranos where they go To Italy. One of the funniest. I don't know if you haven't seen it.

[Will Sasso]

Can I. Can I. Let me admit something awful here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I.

[Will Sasso]

And it's very interesting that you bring up the Sopranos. I'm on episode. I'm on episode two.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Will Sasso]

I've never watched.

[Stavros Halkias]

Then you got that. You did that great sketch, the Sopranos. The Sopranos edited for TV was so fudgeing funny.

[Will Sasso]

We did a lot of surprise. Yeah, we did. Yeah. Where they can't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where they get, like. You can't even say, you know, mother.

[Will Sasso]

But, yeah, I. You know, it's weird. Yeah. I never watched it because I kind of. Back at Mad tv, you get, like, research tapes. You go. And I watch the. I guess I watched the pilot back in the day because that's all there was to. To research the. The impression and then did the impression. And this is. This is even more embarrassing than not watching my reason. But I just remember early on, like, everyone going, oh, that fucking show is amazing. I'm like, I know, I know. I bet it's incredible. I. Fudgeing. I love James Gamble.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And he's incredible. And Edie Falco and, you know, it's like, for sure. They're just killers. And I just can't watch it. Why? This is so dumb. This is such an actory fucking thing. Because this is really stupid.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yourself.

[Will Sasso]

Actor thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Unburden yourself.

[Will Sasso]

Maybe someone will call in with this kind of problem. I was doing an impression and I. But I. I'll be like, I know. I would. Every time I would watch it, I would go, should have done that. He does that. Not this.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I see for your impression, right.

[Will Sasso]

So I see plenty of people that do a much better James Gandolfini. And it's like, oh, yeah, no, he's more in the nose. I should have been more. Or whatever. So that's just enough for me for half a second ago. Yeah, I'll watch it. And then 20 years goes by.

[Stavros Halkias]

It just would have annoyed you to catch things you didn't nail in your impression. Is that what it is?

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, but maybe not for the past. Ooh, I don't know, 18 years. Like, I could have, like, what am I doing?

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, you could even say, like, it would have made you better at the impression.

[Will Sasso]

Well, yeah, but then it's over, and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Then you're done with Mad tv and.

[Will Sasso]

Then you're never doing it again. And. Yeah. So I literally. That's like a weird thing. It's like, yeah, well, dude. Yeah, same Reason I'll. I'd stopped listening to Limp Bizkit, and I feel like I robbed myself because I did a Fred Durston pride. I'm like, ooh, I didn't get the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nuances of the greatest American works of art.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I'm Sopranos.

[Will Sasso]

And no, of course I listen to Limp Bizkit non stop. I'm not missing out on Limp, but I'm really not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Sorry to.

[Will Sasso]

You're. I gotta watch it. I'm sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think you're going to love. There is an arc where they go.

[Will Sasso]

To Italy that sounds insane.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's. I think it was. It's. I think you'll. I think what you were about to say is what that episode is where the whole Italian American thing that you were getting at.

[Will Sasso]

It's. It's. It's interesting. Yeah. And. And we're watching it now because I can't. And it was one of those things where my wife's like, what the. Like, we have to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

But, yeah, the. The. I feel like, you know, and whatever. I guess. I don't know if this is a slur, but the Italians, you know, the Italians in New York, and I love it.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love sewing discord among your ranks. This is my plan. Look, divide and conquer.

[Will Sasso]

But in many ways. In many ways, they're way more Italian than me because they have the family together and whatever. I think that Italian Americans are, you know, they. They have a pride there unto themselves that is extremely Italian. It's very family. And it's okay that they're cooking chicken parmesan, and there's no such thing, but.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, it is Parmesan.

[Will Sasso]

The Parmesan. First of all, you guys with the Parmesan, what is that? No, Parmigiano. That's. It comes from. So. And a lot of the eggplant Parmigiano, you know, like maybe. And barely any cheese. Just a little. Just a little sprinkling little something. But. Because I got to do the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fry it, right?

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, yeah, you got to fry it down. Don't sweat it down.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on. Don't fuck it. Oh, I was about to have a heart attack if eggplant parm was in fry.

[Will Sasso]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love a nice fried eggplant. Fried zucchini.

[Will Sasso]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's nice. That's.

[Will Sasso]

That's the thing about. About Mediterranean, you know, guys raised Mediterranean like you and me. I do feel like maybe this is different from a lot of the Italian Americans and, you know, sort of Mediterraneans that are, you Know in New York and. Or whatever. For generations. We love greasy vegetables.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love it.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love.

[Will Sasso]

That's what's saving.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, it's just.

[Will Sasso]

Just greasy vegetables and it's olive oil clean and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It's not deep fried. You have to flip it.

[Will Sasso]

Yep.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? It's a. Yeah, that's right. You have to flip your vegetables. That shouldn't even count as fried.

[Will Sasso]

That's not.

[Stavros Halkias]

As far as I'm concerned. If the oil does not submerge merchant, it's might as well be steamed as far as I'm concerned. Well.

[Will Sasso]

And now it's so funny that it's like everything you hear is like, oh, olive oil is great for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And. And yeah. And I'm like, okay, good. That's why my heart didn't explode when I was 18. So.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you always. You were a chubster from the jump.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You love.

[Will Sasso]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah, yeah. There was. There was definitely a moment. I'd probably. I was kind of chubby and then like second, third grade, never looked back from there. We hit the ground running in second and third grade. I believe you were about the same eldest, is that correct? Did you have a moment where you.

[Caller]

I. I don't know.

[Will Sasso]

Just when.

[Caller]

When did I get, like, pretty fat? You know, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because you're not as fat now as you. You had fatter times in your life for sure.

[Caller]

Maybe when I was a kid.

[Stavros Halkias]

As a kid, you were. You were kind. You were fatter for sure.

[Will Sasso]

But I don't know.

[Caller]

I feel like I've always just been like, tall, fat, goofy, like my whole life pretty much.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, that is true. That.

[Will Sasso]

How long have you guys known each other?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, literally kindergarten.

[Will Sasso]

Pre K. That's awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pre K. We weren't friends. I didn't like the cut of his jib and pre K. But he was.

[Will Sasso]

The beard. You didn't like his beard?

[Stavros Halkias]

It was. He was the one. I've said it before, but he was the only person who was like, more foreign and poorer than me. And it was like me being like an elitist American who's like, who's this fucking refugee from Albania? I'm too fucking good to hang out with this. This cocksucker doesn't have Nintendo. What does he have to offer me? But very quickly, Eldis family were a bunch of winners. They got themselves Internet before my family. I had to go over to his house to sort of not even watch porn, but just like pull up bikini pictures of like Foxy Brown.

[Will Sasso]

And we would be like Cindy Margolis pictures. It takes like all night to download.

[Stavros Halkias]

And watch like mtv. They had cable before because my family didn't get cable. The reason we got cable at all was because satellite TV could get Greek stuff and that. That wasn't until second or third grade. So for most when I was a little kid, we didn't have anything cool. Eldest. Eldest had fucking.

[Will Sasso]

Guys had the multicultural channels and all that.

[Stavros Halkias]

They were trying to assimilate it. No, no, they didn't. They had straight up American cool shit. The stuff I wasn't allowed to look at.

[Will Sasso]

Oh, you were watching a lot of great.

[Stavros Halkias]

I had the only. We got. We got the most basic cable in third grade because it came with like the three Greek channels. And my dad would watch that. And so we got like. Actually, that's when I got Comedy Central and, you know, was watching like half hour specials and being like a. A snobby. Like, as a kid, this is how much of a little prick I was. I was. I would watch it and be like, I could do better.

[Will Sasso]

That's awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would be literally 10 years old and be like, kind of lazy, like, just so. Such a fucking dickhead. But. But yeah, when I was like, you know, seven, if I wanted to go watch mtv, had to go to Eldis apartment.

[Will Sasso]

That's wild.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

Did you always know you wanted to be a comedian?

[Stavros Halkias]

I think, I think on some level, I mean, we did like school plays from the time we were like second grade. And like, I liked performing. I was always a fucking little attention whore. Like from being a bait. Like, I would play the little fake guitar in front of everybody when my mom would have her friends over. Oh, yeah, they have video of me shushing. Another baby is trying to sing. And I'm like, it's kind of my time, right?

[Will Sasso]

Awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm like, back to the drums, pal. I was a fucking asshole. I was a diva as a three year old. But yeah, I was always sort of like. And then I definitely did have the immigrant guilt stuff of, no, you have to get us out of debt. Ah, you have to be a lawyer. And I, like, tested well. I was good at standardized tests, so I think my parents mistakenly thought that meant I was like a genius. My mom over. I don't know if your mom was like this. The O believes in you too much. Sure, like, thinks I'm smarter than I am by an order of magnitude.

[Will Sasso]

I think that has a lot to do with, you know, it's interesting being, you know, Being, being an immigrant. When my folks came over, I feel like, you know, like my brother and sister are 9 and 11 years older than me. And I feel like by the time they were, you know, they're like 12, 13, they know way more than their parents do. About.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Will Sasso]

The Canadian experience being North. North America and an English speaking society and in the west, you know, and I think that has a lot to do with it. I think, I think that, and maybe it's specific to the, to the time, but I think it applies in the 70s and also the 80s that it's like, it's like, oh, you know, this kid knows the way things work in a way that I just totally. They've been in the system and savvy. So there is sort of this thing that the kid, that the parents look at the kids and go, you, you know, what's. How to get moving here. Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. You could figure this out.

[Will Sasso]

And this test must mean a lot because they give it to you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Will Sasso]

Needed some. Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. I, I, you know, I don't know. I, I feel like by the time I was around, because I was the youngest, they were kind of like, they give.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean. Yeah. 10 years younger is hilarious.

[Will Sasso]

It. It was. Yeah, it was. It's. That's a total different upgrade.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were fully not planned at all. And, and we had a buddy who had a, A kind of a similar situation. Immigrant. Immigrant. And then just like pops helped himself to one too many strokes and out comes their little brother. That's you, man. You know, that was, that was a little too much. Hanging out with his Greek friend at a wedding. That was a little too much oozo.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, it's just. If it's good in the coffee, we're having coffee. Yeah. I feel like later on, like, I. They were different parents.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

It was probably extremely stressful. I know it was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

For them. And, and then when I came around, it was kind of like, what? I'm a fucking fat white boy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thanks for the pasta, goofy white boy. And you must have been like the mascot of your family. You were the baby. You know what I mean?

[Will Sasso]

And I was a goof. You know, my mom's hilarious. She's a very funny person. And her side of the family is very, very funny. Very animated. Always singing, laughing, dancing. They're just the whole, you know, and my, my dad's side, not so much so. But I definitely took after my mom's side and, and was. Yeah. You know, I was a class clown and all that shit. And it was Just like what I can do. And I feel like this is why I ask, because I do feel like it. A lot of it is like, I'm gonna do this. Yeah, right? Yeah. And I used to watch movies and go like, like, oh my. Here's my idols. They're fucking amazing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

But the guy who. That guy who's way down the call sheet, you know, the guy who has like a run in with your hero.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, I can do that. I can do that for sure. Yeah. That's put me in one scene.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let me be the weird guy. I recently played a fat weirdo on a bus that the hot leads of a romantic comedy run into. That was like, that's the kind of shit that's like perfect.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let me annoy two like, like, you know, like 20 something actors by being like, you know, by cursing it like some beautiful boy and girl, you know what I mean? Like, that's the kind of stuff we're, you know, perfect for.

[Will Sasso]

And you feel like. And you kind of as a performer, you're kind of like what? That's what people are going to remember, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

You're like, oh yeah. There was a scene where the guy gives the two people. I didn't care for them anyway.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

I always say that my dream, you know, like as a kid, if I could even just be the guy who's like, you can't park here. I always. That's my guy. Like, you can't park here would be.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

So anything above that has been way too fortunate.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Folks, you know, I, like many people out there, love photographs. And there's no place I like to display my photographs more than the wonderful aura frame. This one here, the Carver matte frame, you know, it was named wire cutters. Number one digital picture frame. And for good reason. It's easy to set up. You can see here I have a beautiful photograph of myself in Milwaukee and Eldis modeling former tour merch. Here's a picture of me and my dear friends Michael, Michael and Brendan as we're dressed up as green characters for last Halloween's episode. Just my most cherished memories. As you can tell, you know, my family, my little brother just had a. Here's AI, Donald Trump and Joe Biden smoking Kush together. And it's loading more photos. Me as a child. Susan surrendered with her fat breasts out. Look, I'm a specific kind of guy. You're a specific kind of person. You put whatever the fuck you want on your aura frame. I put whatever the fuck I want on mine. Okay. And do. Yeah, we look. Grease. Oh, it's beautiful. Here's the best part. It comes with unlimited storage. You put whatever you want. Whatever you want, you put it on there. Just get a free Aura app and the WI FI connection. Put as many photos as you want up there. And right now you can save on the perfect gift that keeps on giving. By visiting auraframes.com for a limited time, listeners can get $20 off their best selling Carver Matte frame. This one right here with code Stavi. That's auraframes a u r a frames.com promo code Stavi. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Awesome. So it was like always acting and stuff. You came up through like, I'm gonna guess, improv stuff.

[Will Sasso]

You know, mostly just straight up acting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Will Sasso]

I, I, so in Vancouver they shoot a lot of stuff and they still do. Of course. They shoot a lot of stuff now and they did back then too, so, so I, you know, I always wanted to be an actor. I saw it's a very predictable list of like, you know, like, John Candy is my idol.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's the man.

[Will Sasso]

And then, you know, from there, you know, a very predictable list from, you know, all SCTV and Saturday Live. Yes, yes, and, and on down and Monty Python and all of it and, and In Living Color and Kids in the hall and, and But I, I really as a, as a, as a little guy was like know Candy and Ackroyd and Belushi and, and Levy and all of them and just being like, this is in Cleese and everyone and this is what I want to do. And then that's awesome, dude. But I, I, there was, you know, I got into the plays and in high school, in elementary school and doing all that and was really like, this is the only thing I want to do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes.

[Will Sasso]

And then, you know, 1415, I started, you know, kind of just crashing some auditions downtown and, and there was enough going on.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Will Sasso]

We had a magazine like, like just the or paper, the Georgia Straight and you go in the back and here's some things. And I would literally, I would take the bus downtown because I was in a little, you know, sort of little enclave out there, farming and fishing town, like 30 minutes out. And I would take the, take the bus and go to some audition and then, you know, gotta get, and then get fries and gravy somewhere and be out of money and then go walk into the Hotel Vancouver Hoover, where the old man Was working in the lobby lounge back then. And I go, dad, dad. And he's like, hey, William, what are you doing here? You know, it's like, this is, it's school time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And I'm like, he would.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cut.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

To go audition.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. I never, I never did any of.

[Stavros Halkias]

That and never, like, got it.

[Will Sasso]

Like, like, oh, he has a thing. My parents didn't know about it. And then I got go. I had an audition, Dad. I had an audition for the season. Audition. What is it? Audition.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And I'm like, I need, you know, a buck 50 to get. Okay, don't tell your mom. Okay. And. And like, later. And then I, and then I started booking some stuff, and I. That's fortunate enough to start working at, like, 15, 16. And then, you know, you're supposed to go to school while you're on set. And I just, just didn't do. I didn't, I didn't tell the school. I just was gone for it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just truant.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. And then I would come back and they go, where was William? And it's like, I was doing a TV show.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love that.

[Will Sasso]

And they're like, oh, what was the first thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you remember? Like, the first.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, the first thing I did was I did three episodes of this show called this. I, I, it's just such a Canadian. It's such early 90s Canadiana to me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

It was a show called Neon Rider.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love it.

[Will Sasso]

And the pitch of this show was there's this Michael Landon type. This guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

So shitty. Knight Rider. Canadian. Knight Rider.

[Will Sasso]

Oh, that would be way cooler than this. No, this was about a guy played by Winston Record. Rest in peace. Was an actor who sort of had this kind of. Oh, if we're looking at it. Yeah, here we are. There he is. And Neon Rider was a show about this guy who had a ranch and he would come down to the city and pick up teens that. Yeah, no, stay with me. I know, I know. He would get kids. Interesting at youth.

[Stavros Halkias]

No parents.

[Will Sasso]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

At risk youth. No one would miss them.

[Will Sasso]

Precisely. Exactly. But he would go the other way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Will Sasso]

Because what he would do is he would bring them up to the ranch. The social workers would be like, here's this kid, he's got this problem or whatever. And he'd take them up to the ranch and, you know, make them fucking bail hay and do all these things. And they'd have little, little sessions and talk and this and that. And then the kids would get it right. By the end, they hug Their parents.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like a Scared Straight program. Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

Like a nice Canadian where you ride horses and then you're good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fully, like, written by a child molester.

[Will Sasso]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just trying to put that idea out in the public. Just to put the idea in the zeitgeist.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hey. Guy's taking 14 year olds with a. With a drug addict mom up to the ranch. He's doing good.

[Will Sasso]

He just wants him to raise a barn and learn about themselves.

[Stavros Halkias]

He wants them to learn about the value of a hard day's work. That's it. He's not trying to suck them off.

[Will Sasso]

No, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

Definitely not. Crazy.

[Will Sasso]

And like a lot of shows in Canada probably got some government funding because it's about something good. It's like, hey, we should be doing this in real life too. Let me take these kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

Children. Were you an at risk teen then?

[Will Sasso]

I was like one of the kids. I was.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Will Sasso]

I was a kleptomaniac.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hell yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And that was my thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome. Dude. I would. I guess I just assumed because you're, I mean, you're a great comedic. I mean, obviously you're. You're a good actor, but it's interesting that you approach it straight from just acting because you're so funny. I mean, truly so funny. And so like all like just a very, Just a. Like, I would have assumed improv because you're quick and you're so good at like character work. But I guess that's just by being a good actor who is funny. You can just do that. It's kind of. It's kind of like almost like old. Like, it is kind of. Yeah, like Candy or like, that's all it's cool to. Yeah. That's awesome. You were just like, you would. Did you want to be dramatic or. No, you wanted to do comedy stuff?

[Will Sasso]

I, I wanted to do both. Like, I, I really, like, I love comedy and I kind of. You know, I always wanted to be on Saturday Night Live when I was a kid. That whole thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you. I just wanted. I honestly want to do stand up.

[Will Sasso]

Really?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

That's great.

[Stavros Halkias]

I kind of. I, I was. The first thing was just because you don't know standups exists when you're little. Yeah, it was same stuff. The same fat guys. We watch the same fat guys. We're like, I want to be John Candy. I want to be Lucy Farley.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. And.

[Stavros Halkias]

But then when I saw Stand up, something did click.

[Will Sasso]

That's great.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where I was like, wait, this. And I still Feel that now, where I've been lucky to do a little acting this year.

[Will Sasso]

Congrats on your movie, by the way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, thanks, dude. Appreciate it.

[Will Sasso]

That's awesome. It was really cool to see because you, you are. And look, I have a great respect for stand up. And I, and I, maybe, maybe, I don't know, maybe we have similar philosophies about it or views. I, I do feel like, because people go, oh, you're funny, you stand up. And it's like, no, these are different passions. Forget about completely different arts. Yes, yes, but these are also different passions. And I watch what comedians do and the time you put in to get a joke. It doesn't matter how. Well, it's like, it doesn't matter how great you are at stand up. And you are great at stand up. Cheers. Come on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on.

[Will Sasso]

No, hey, you. You know, but no, it's, it's, it's. It's incredible to see the discipline of it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, thank.

[Will Sasso]

You know, going and working, working around the country. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, it's bullshit. Stand up. Like, let me stop you right there. It's pretty easy. That's what I've learned. Acting is like. I used to think acting was bullshit. And it's like, sort of is, but.

[Will Sasso]

Like, it could be tricky.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think it's like, here's what I will say. I think you could be 80%. You get to 80%, you could be not bad at acting. Pretty easy to be good at. It's very hard, I think, to get like the above percentile. Stand up is the fucking easy. Like it's hard to get good at it. Once you're there. You're on autopilot, brother.

[Will Sasso]

You are.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

Because you're funny. I feel like. And this is really, this is. I'm. Let me just. This is gonna be very blunt. I feel like you're. Your art form has been under siege for years. Whenever stand up gets hot, yeah. Everyone's like, yeah, I'm. Me too.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Will Sasso]

Because all you need is a microphone. It's like even when it's barrier to cross with acting or with.

[Stavros Halkias]

True, true.

[Will Sasso]

With even being in a band or playing sports and shit. But it's like I feel like everyone thinks they can. Not everyone, but people, you know, a lot of sociopaths, more of them can get in a stand up, whereas in, in, you know, acting or, you know, some of these other pursuits that are creative, it's a little harder. The barrier of entry is there. And I think that, you know, I think that that makes it even More special when someone is like, oh, no, this is a great stand up. I'm not just laughing because this is a fucking funny person. But what I mean by you going around everywhere and doing the stuff, it's like, I'll listen to standups, talk about, oh, that joke doesn't work. Forget about like this club or that club or whatever. But like regionally, yes, you understand, which I'm fascinated by. Like, oh, don't try that there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I am interested in actually for this tour, I really want to be more like this next special because the last special felt like I did kind of quick because I just wanted to get a Netflix special. Everything I'd done had been on the Internet. But this tour is going to go everywhere. And I even am trying to figure out international stuff because I really want to put the material through its paces. Like, it's cool to put it everywhere and see exactly what you're talking about. Of like, how does it do here, how does it do there? And try and figure out. Try and make it as airtight as I can. And I think it's fun. Like, to me, it is fun. As much as I don't respect it artistically, I love doing it. I just love doing it. I think it's a good time. And it is honestly, like an easier, like, like logistical life once you get used to the travel, which I guess is very hard to get used to now that I'm saying it out loud. Yeah, that's a lot. But. But anyway, who cares? Look, stand up.

[Will Sasso]

But you're. No, I. I hear we.

[Stavros Halkias]

Look, you're right about the under siege thing because it's. Even when it's not hot. It's the only. The problem with the art form is like, anyone who can get people in a room can say they're a standup because. And it's not even when it's hot. It's like, you know, may he rest in peace. Dustin diamond is the perfect example of like, it would be like, what's this guy just is doing this because he's broke and it was not good. You know what I mean? Like, and now it's like, if you can get people in a room, like, I almost feel like stand up is. I just do it because I love it. But you have to kind of pop from other shit.

[Will Sasso]

It.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because no one really cares about stand up. They won't see you because you're stand up. You have to kind of like, you know, do podcasts, do clips.

[Will Sasso]

Well, you guys now. Yeah. Yeah. Watching the Hustle, I Mean, it's, it's incredible that, that it has become too.

[Stavros Halkias]

Much of a job, unfortunately. Well, I know.

[Will Sasso]

You know, I look at, I look at podcasting as a, you know, there's so many positives and negatives, and I love it, but it's like, it is kind of like I, I do kind of feel like, man, you know, well, I'm having a great time here. We are doing one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

But, but it's like, I, I, It. In my opinion, it does suck a little bit that standups have to do that in order to get right and, and the people. Because audiences out there, that's. It's just. We're all, we're all conditioned now to. That's where we find funny people, is on podcasts.

[Stavros Halkias]

And some people will even be like, he's funnier on podcasts. And it's like, yeah, maybe you prefer it, but it's like, it's different. It's just a completely different thing. But it is, you know, it is funny. But who would have thought that this is how shit went? But who cares? Well, let's get back to. I wanted to ask you. Since we're talking about acting, I want to ask you about a specific performance you gave. And this is my buddy. My buddy Nick Mullen. We watched this together, and he was fascinated. We were both fascinated by it. But I want to talk about. Remember the Law and Order episode you did?

[Will Sasso]

Oh, geez, you guys watched that?

[Stavros Halkias]

We love that, dude. No, no, no, I fucking. I wanted to ask you about it. Cause it was fucking awesome. You were like, what were you trying to do? Like, and I'm not. Like, it felt like you were having a lot of fun on that Law and Order. And you were like, I am going to play this. Like, you were over the top in an awesome way. You were like, I'm going to be a mad TV character in Law. Because it was like. Didn't you like, your daughter or something or what?

[Will Sasso]

No, my. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter had been abused by her music teacher.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Will Sasso]

My daughter was, you know, a teenager, and her. And is being, you know, fucking having a thing with her music teacher.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Will Sasso]

And then, spoiler alert, at the end of the episode, you find out that my wife had always. They always. And that. That's not my daughter.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. Oh, right. I remember. Somebody was fucking his own daughter.

[Will Sasso]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

You were the victim.

[Will Sasso]

Right? So at the end of it, he's completely. And I just remember, like, I'm, like, trying to get at him in the, in the precinct. Like, you Got Mariska Hargitay and Ice T holding you back. And you know what I'm saying?

[Stavros Halkias]

It was awesome because it was like you gave Law and Order the subtlety it deserved. You know what I mean? When it was like, it was like you were. It was so. You were clearly having an awesome time. I hope I'm not disrespecting you to your. I hope you understand that I enjoyed it and I thought it was hilarious.

[Will Sasso]

I appreciate it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because it felt like you were doing it on purpose. You know what I mean? Like, because you are a good actor who. You know, like, they weren't. It's like a ridiculous thing. And it was funny to see someone be like, we are going, I'm going to match this writing instead of pretending I'm doing Shakespeare that a lot of people do.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, I am gonna be going, you're like biting your fucking fist.

[Will Sasso]

Oh, I'm. I'm crying in the. In the courthouse, in the court. Like. But, like, but okay. But those are. I'm here all. I'm crying.

[Stavros Halkias]

You are. You really were. I know.

[Will Sasso]

So, you know, look, here's the thing. It's fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I guess I'm just asking about your. Your philosophy. Because I would. Yeah. Just I'm.

[Will Sasso]

I loved that sometimes I feel like my career has two lanes because I like being. I like doing extremely, you know, goofy, absurdist sort of shit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And then on the other hand, I really love acting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And I love finding. I love doing dramatic stuff anytime I get to do it. Like, you know, I've done movies where it's like. It's like totally. And series where it's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

Completely serious and. And I love it. And I love playing the heavy and I love playing characters that are all far reaching. Like a guy who's like just completely victimized and sad and finding that. And I really am an acting dork with that. So it's so.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's cool.

[Will Sasso]

But there are. To what you're saying. And that's very funny to hear that you and your pal Nick, they're watching that smoked out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, I think we did a whole episode of Comptown about it. I think we, like, we were just hanging out and we watched and we were like.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know where it is. I. Either we did or we talked about it between episodes, but I remember very vividly just how awesome that episode was.

[Will Sasso]

It's like there are times where I'm like. And this is to what you're saying. There are Times where I'm, like, doing something extremely serious. And I'll be like, there are people watching this, going, I can't. I can't. You're not. That's not. And. And I know that. But there are other people who don't know the other side of things. And they go, like, yeah, that's what would happen, I guess. Right, right, right. And their partner might be like, that's the fucking guy from the stupid. Or what Mad TV did Fred Durst. And now, like, how are you taking this seriously? So there's always a thing where I'm sort of checking in with myself, but I cannot. I cannot. That will never. And this is the fucking. This is even more embarrassing than the reason I haven't watched Sopranos. I will never. I can never. I could never sacrifice a character for a personal reason like that. Like, oh, I don't. I'm doing it sort of wink, wink, on the hip.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Will Sasso]

No, I. I do approach it too much. I approach every single. Because what I really dig about acting is playing. I really love the fantasy of it and playing completely different people. As a kid, that's why I dug Sound Alive and stuff. It was like. Like, these are the most fortunate performers in the world because they get to play 5, 6, 7 different people in one episode.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Will Sasso]

So I really do sink into the. It's funny. I do. I feel like I have two things, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

But I still think. I still think it's a. It's as a performance, because what it reminded me of is, like, how Sandler in Punch Drunk Love, it was like, this is if Billy Madison was a real guy. It almost was. This is if a Will Sasso, like, Mad TV character was a real guy who was. Who got ultra cucked and his daughter got molested all in one. This is how that guy would react. And it was fascinating from that perspective. I just loved it. I just wanted.

[Will Sasso]

No, I appreciate it, and I'm happy that you enjoyed it in any way that you did. Believe me. I'm not saying I'm not like, look. Yeah, it's sort of like those Simpsons memes you see, where it's like when they do the 3D art of, like, this is what they would look like as a real person.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

You don't want to see it.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't want to think about your own. You don't want to hear it dissected to your face this way. Is that what you're saying?

[Will Sasso]

No, I'm saying, like, the Adam Sandler thing Of like, yeah, he's a fantastic fucking actress. Like Adam Sandler is Adam Sandler, when you think of that and you're like, oh, he's fucking hilarious. And an incredible canon of movies and some of the funniest shit you've ever fucking seen. And now it's great that he's, you know, performing live again and doing all that shit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Special.

[Will Sasso]

Great. Yeah. And it's like. But at the same time, I love watching him as a actor.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love it.

[Will Sasso]

And watching. And to me, it comes back to like the John Candy thing of like one of the reasons he's my hero is like, you know, Planes, Trains and Automobiles is my favorite movie. So it's incredible.

[Stavros Halkias]

So good.

[Will Sasso]

And as a kid, you're watching it as a broad studio comedy and oh yeah, you know, you're watching and it's like, you know, those aren't pillows and the car's on fire and all that shit. But when you get a little older and you realize, oh, this is a movie about loneliness.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Will Sasso]

This is about a very lonely man. If that movie came out anywhere in the last, I would say 15 years, he wins an Oscar for best supporting actor or best Actor.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think you're probably right.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, 100%.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is an incredible performance. And you're right, it is like, I mean, those movies really were. That was. They really had lightning in the bottle when it's like, you know, John Hughes, John Candy, Steve Martin. I mean, what they put together. And then when you hear about that movie and it was like a thing I love. Tight 90 minute movie.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it was the first cuts like three hours.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, I've heard.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's like the editing of that is like. So that's like. So that makes you understand, like, how much goes into it because like they. That performance was always there and they found like such a stirring performance that was also so fudgeing. Hilarious. But yeah, that guy, you watch it now and we watched it like last watch like six months ago.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He really was like, it's a sad guy that you know and you know that guy who's just overly friendly.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's just a. Yeah, great.

[Will Sasso]

It's a beautiful type. And it's like that for me was like, I think there were things that I watched as a kid. That movie came out when I was 12 and I just remember loving, loving it immediately. And also there's my hero, John Candy, doing this movie. Every movie that he was in, it was like, like had to see it and I loved it. The thing about that though. And it's, it's the magic of John Hughes and John Candy together. And then Steve Martin is just playing it straight.

[Stavros Halkias]

Great.

[Will Sasso]

Straight man.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

You said you were going home.

[Stavros Halkias]

What are you doing here?

[Will Sasso]

You know, like, just, just not afraid to play it straight. Has a couple of, like, goofy moments. Couple tiny ones. Yep. Where he sort of sounds like Steve Martin. You stole it. He stole, Stole it. Like. But the rest of it is totally. And, but it's still hilarious because they're playing it real. They're playing the situations real. I, I, I really got off on that as a kid and was like, that, to me, is, that's what I love, that, that illusion of creating character that by the end of 90 minutes, you're like, I know this guy. And even as a kid, the real incredible thing is it could capture the imagination of a little kid.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And then now, like, you know, as a grown ass man, I'm watching it going, I'll still pick up tiny things.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, absolutely.

[Will Sasso]

My favorite part of the movie is. And these are the things that, that you just go like, does he know? How did he know? How, like, did he know that, that.

[Stavros Halkias]

He was doing that?

[Will Sasso]

Or is it just so inherent? Or is he just so deep in the character that it is what it is and it's just magic? Because there's one part where they're in that hotel with the two single beds and they're drinking the little airplane vodkas.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Will Sasso]

Is this a good combination? No. Like the Doritos and the tequila and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get these off the bed or I'm gonna kick them off. And then they start talking about, I'm afraid to look at my ass. I got those griddle marks on my ass. And they're laughing and Candy goes into the bathroom and they're laughing and they're giggling back and forth and they're drunk. And Steve Martin goes, why do I feel like I'm in summer camp?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And Candy's laughing in the bathroom. And he goes, and he opens the door a crack and just goes and closes it. And I'm like, as a kid. Whatever. As an adult, I watch and I go, like, he needs to share the same oxygen as that guy. He needs to be in the room with him. He is so fucking lonely.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. He wanted to share that laugh. He couldn't just, like, he wanted to be present in the moment for that exchange. He couldn't just enjoy it. He needed to, like, like.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Be a part, an active part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And it's like. Anyway. That's the kind of.

[Stavros Halkias]

That I love it, dude. No, that's awesome. Yeah, I mean, I just. I just. I never thought about it it artistically. I literally just wanted to be a buffoon. I just literally.

[Will Sasso]

Same here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I literally just want to do stand up and get. To be completely honest with you. What's the closest way for me to get sucked off?

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, but you got to do some Law and Order so you can get. Really play some. I would love it. If anyone's listening. If anyone's listening, please, please. I want to play that character as a. Well, you should be like my kid brother who's like, does the Gets in the same shit.

[Stavros Halkias]

They should do that character as it should be like fat comedian Hamlet, where it's like, we all play that role. It becomes like, you know what I mean? We all play that guy. It's like, I want to. I literally want to do a stage production of that script of Law and Order.

[Will Sasso]

Everyone. Everyone has to. Every foot fat Hamlet. Everyone has to do the hook and roll. Oh, that's.

[Stavros Halkias]

So we should look into that. We should look into doing a stage production of it.

[Will Sasso]

Fortunate to have. I mean, even though now he's. He's so. What he's done is incredible. But your pal Ethan Suplee.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, he's the man.

[Will Sasso]

Just the man. Like, and what he's done is. I love Ethan. I' in awe of what he's done. But, yeah, Ethan's got to go. If we can be so fortunate to have a wonderful actor like Paul Walter Hauser.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Will Sasso]

Everyone goes, maybe Josh, he'll do it. Just play that one because. Because we'd all have a take on it and be like, yeah, that was. Yeah, Paul Walter Hauser's a killer. Have you seen Stavi's. Go see him at the Pasadena Playhouse. It's fucking out of control. You know, like, everyone's gonna have a take on it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Yes.

[Will Sasso]

That's great.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's Shakespeare. That's gonna be. We'll do that. But look for the time we gotta stay.

[Will Sasso]

Hey, hey. About steak and Shakespeare. Hey. All right, everybody. Yeah, we're having a good time in the podcast. So that's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now you're warmed up, brother. Now we're warmed up. Now you're ready to give some fucking advice. All right, Elvis, now let's turn the mics on now that we got the intro riffs going. You know, spring is almost here, gentlemen. And I bet you're tired of keeping your. Your thighs covered up. I know I am. Lucky for you, we got just, just the brand for you. Chubbies. You know, I discovered Chubbies in college. I've been, I've been wearing Chubbies legitimately before I, even before podcasting was even a twinkle in my eye, before I even knew what podcasting was, I was wearing Chubbies because I'm a plus size man that likes to throw off my thighs. And there's not a lot of clothing companies out there that have a cut that makes you look good, makes you feel confident, and has some fun, colorful prints. I first discovered them with their swim trunks. I remember vividly. You know, I was about to go spring break peacock a little bit. I got some bright 5 inch inseams and to this day you can get 5.57 inch, 44 inch if you really want to. You really want to strut your stuff. I'm such a fan of Chubb. I've been a Chubby's classic line swim trunk guy since I was 20 years old or 22 something around there. It's been a while. Yeah, I love their stuff. And since then they've also expanded to their comfort stretch the stretch shorts, which I wear. Also the performance polos. It's not just swim trunks. It's not just shorts they got, you know, they got, they can get, they can get your titties looking right. Too. Whatever you want.

[Will Sasso]

Look.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's truly a brand that I've loved for over a decade now. We're pumped whenever Chubby's wants to advertise with us because it's the kind of list I know who these who are, who our viewers are, who our listeners are. Your fat guys that like to show a little personality. There's a big portion. And listen, you don't got to be fat to wear Chubbies, even though you know they know what they're doing with that name. But I got a sneaking suspicion a nice portion of our listeners love chubbies or. And the few women that do listen probably have a fat boyfriend. So whether you're getting dressed for your workday, a workout, or a weekend getaway, Chubby's has you covered for a limited time. Chubby's is giving our viewers 20% off your order with our code STAVI S T A V V Y@chubby shorts.com that's code STAVI. @chubby shorts.com support our show and tell them we sent you. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with Chubby's. Once again, that's code Stavi. You're gonna love what Chubby's has for you. I guarantee it. We need you to fucking to guide some of our lost. Our lost souls that have called in here will. So play us a couple calls here, Eldis. Thanks, Davi.

[Caller]

Hey, Aldis. I know you guys won't be getting to this call for probably a month or two after I ask it, so I won't worry about that other than to say I am still a fan of both of you. You're both fantastic. And hello, beautiful guests as well. Stavi, my question is related to, you know, your background having immigrant parents. My girlfriend's parents are both like first generation off the boat immigrants. Her dad barely speaks English. In fact, it sounds a lot like your dad. And you know, the difference being that her parents are still together. So their marriage sounds a lot like what your parents dealt with as well. I love this girl very much. We've been together for probably at this point just about three years. And I really want to ask her to marry me. I want to also kind of like ask, let her parents know that that's something I want to do. Her mom and I have a great relationship and her dad kind of sees me as like a pleasant little foreigner that his daughter brings around. And, you know, he knows we're together and all that, but we don't interact very much. And I guess what I'm asking is, is there any way that I would go about connecting with these people beyond just kind of like the typical saying in English? I love your daughter very much. I'm willing to try, you know, learning Polish for that. I've tried learning a bit of it, but kurta waddle. So, yeah, any advice would be super appreciated. Love the pod. Have been a huge fan forever and come back to Toronto and hope to see you soon. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Elvis, you're a legend. Don't listen to him. Albania, I'm sure is, you know, only a two out of ten. Not. Not a zero out of ten. All right, thanks, guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. Okay, well, hey, we're coming the Dreamboat tour coming to Toronto. We're gonna be there in April, I think. Eldis, is that right? April or May, some shit like that. Interesting. Okay, so we got a guy who's trying to impress a potential Balkan father in law.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ask for a hand in. Basically he's trying to. He wants advice on how to connect and he wants advice on essentially like asking for the daughter's hand in marriage, I suppose. So connecting with immigrant in laws is very interesting because I've always. I've never obviously we're all on the opposite side of that. And we're. For me, any woman I dated, my parents automatically, I feel like my mom liked them more just cause they wanted me to have a girlfriend. They were like, this is great. Just get married, have grandchildren, get me grandchildren. My mom's pretty easy to win over. And my dad was never like, like this is. I guess dad and daughter stuff is different than like son stuff.

[Will Sasso]

But I would say food. I would say try to learn. Look, everyone nowadays is cooking these tick tock, you know, Cooking tick tocks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Will Sasso]

Since the pandemic, you know, everyone's cooking everything. I would really, I, in my opinion, bring something over and, and they're in Toronto, which is, you know, it's a foodie kind of place. I'm sure they're, they're, you know, I have friends that are Polish, they're super into their sausages and all that stuff. You know, they're one of their little pierogies or.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pierogies. Yes.

[Will Sasso]

So I would, honestly, I would. If there's a. And this might be a huge insult though, if you bring food because you don't bring food. And you and I. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Imagine bringing your version of spaghetti, right?

[Will Sasso]

My mom, my mom.

[Stavros Halkias]

A Greek thing. I think maybe.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, maybe that's a bad idea.

[Stavros Halkias]

Taking an interesting interest in it. Wanting to cook, wanting to learn. I love your pierogies. Yeah, I want to cook. You know what I mean? Can we cook her? Like. But see, the thing is, I can.

[Will Sasso]

Tell by the sound of this guy's voice that he'd up pierogies, so forget that.

[Stavros Halkias]

But he also, the mom is not a problem here, right? This is stuff that's gonna, the mom is gonna love, right? How do you win a tough immigrant dad over when you're the guy? Cause like for me, it's like any woman I'm with, I'm like, don't worry about my fucking dad.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, yeah, you're fine.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who gives a fuck? But if it's flipped, that is harder. You know what I mean?

[Will Sasso]

It doesn't sound like he's too adverse to this guy being around. He said he's a. The amusing foreigner.

[Stavros Halkias]

This might just be universal. Like, like how do you get a father in law to like you? It might not be immigrant stuff at all. So you're both married men. Have you dealt with any. What did you do with. With your, your wife and did you ask for a hand? Were you the same age as her father?

[Will Sasso]

Exactly, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You guys went to high school together?

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it was an easy conversation. No, you know.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, my wife's been in LA for, you know, a long time and stuff and we were kind of like, yeah, we're.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, we're not traditionalists.

[Will Sasso]

We're doing our thing. It wasn't like, yeah, that was. That would not be a situation where I would, let's just say give a. That's not. That's maybe unfair. Rare but in.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I know what you're saying.

[Will Sasso]

Particular situation. You know, her grandmother, who was the. Who we just lost a couple years ago, was the. Oh, she was so sweet. And that was someone that I really, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. Was like, talk to. About.

[Stavros Halkias]

You had to talk about.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, that's good that I, That I, you know, that I love your grandma. Granddaughter so much and, and you know, she's going to be in. In very good hands. And there was, there's a. Yeah, there's a thing there. There was a thing there which was very nice because I do believe that you need the family's blessing. My wife had my parents blessing like crazy. They loved her. So that was very. That was really wonderful to have. And it is very important. But I think so long as you do you, young man, and just ask the fucking guy, worst case scenario, he says no. And you do it anyway.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you do it anyway. And that's the thing. Here's the issue. He smells your weakness. He smells how scared you are of him. And the thing he will respect the most is just being like, sitting him down in a way that I'm gonna guess you never have. You know what I mean? Like, you've always been a soft boy that's hung around the kitchen with the mom and had coffee with her. You've never like, gone and had beers in the garage with her Polish dad or whatever. And you just have to do. I mean, that's one of these kind of hard things in life that you just. You just do it, man.

[Will Sasso]

I didn't know what a. A husband and father who'd been again, you know, cucked by the music teacher who's also come to find out the father of his daughter. I have no frame of reference there, but you dive in. You dive in, you trust. The writing. Show's been on the air for 23 years for a reason. So you are the guy. You walk in there, you are the guy. Get him in the backyard, pull your slacks up, get some sun, unbutton your shirt a little bit and pretend you're the, you know, you are the John Wayne of getting cucked by the music teacher.

[Caller]

There's something to that, too, because, like, immigrant dads just. They just. Just never. They didn't come up in societies where, like, it was okay to express your emotions as a man. But I feel like even saying, I want to marry your daughter, and just like, sitting them down, telling them outright. I bet that will open up a wellspring of old world my daughters getting married pride. And you will see, like, something clicking him a little where, you know, you'll just see a little expression in his face.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's a sign of. These guys love being respectful, respected.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Old world dads love when someone bows down and respects them. And they. He's gonna love that. You're like, you're ceremonially asking for his daughter's hand in marriage. You know what I mean?

[Will Sasso]

And go for it. Throw that Hail Mary of that. Put yourself in his shoes. Go. I see it the same way you with your wife, you know, my hopefully lovely mother in law. You guys made a relationship out of this, and I really admire that. That. So that when he says no, it'll be. You will have known that you threw everything out there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Yeah. You'll be fine. I think you're probably fine.

[Will Sasso]

I mean, you'll.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's also Polish.

[Caller]

Also, bring a bottle of liquor. Those. All those old, old, old immigrant dads love getting boozed up.

[Will Sasso]

So.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Prime the pump with, like, a nice gift. Yeah, a little bit. But it's the holidays. I mean, it's not anymore. It's January.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But, you know, hopefully you already got him a nice gift. Like, do it for next Christmas.

[Will Sasso]

Right now, what you want to do? Fill your bathtub with potatoes and grain and start fermenting that homemade Polish rock gut and bring that to him. He'll love that in a green bottle. He'll go like, whoa, this fucking kid makes his own piss.

[Stavros Halkias]

My own potato moonshine.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good luck, little buddy. We're rooting for you.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn. Did you ask for a hand in marriage? Else you sit down and have the formal ask.

[Caller]

I did not. I kind of had a conversation with her mom a couple years before that.

[Stavros Halkias]

A couple years? You really are a piece of. Her mom's just waiting, like. So any news? Just calling her every month. No, not really, but technically, no idea. Well, he's gotten into podcast producing. Oh. Holy oh. Oh, my God. I'm not even Los Angeles anymore. It's time to do something. It's time to keep it twisted. Holy oh. Jp, you're not Will Sasso.

[Will Sasso]

Whoa. We all love.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, no, no, idiot, that's for different one. Jp. You're not Will Sasso. We kept it so twisted you became Will Sasso became a different guy. And I was transported to New York City.

[Caller]

We all love Will Sasso, but I'm feeling too twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

Too mother fucking ass twisted.

[Caller]

Had to cut in.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, man. It's time, Eldis. We're in the twisted zone. We're in the twisted zone. It's very similar to the Cheek Zone, except you get even more twisted here. It's. Yeah, we were transported because, you know, it's February 10th, which is one day away from me. I've been sober for a whole year. In two days, I'll be sipping one of these delicious beverages. That's right. But for now, I have to satiate myself with Keep it Twisted. Keeping it motherfucking twisted with the twisted ass motherfucking question of the week Birthday. One day before Stav's birthday edition, and it's eldest birthday edition.

[Will Sasso]

Keep it twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

Eldest what? What twisted motherfucking birthday question do you have for us?

[Caller]

We have a really someone going through a really up twisted scenario.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, let's jump right in. Let's see what we got.

[Caller]

Hi, Savvy. Long time listener. Religious listener. Thank you, Patreon subscriber. Sorry, I have a stupid question, but it has been bugging me. So I've been living with my dear friend and roommate for the past, like, three years. And we're great matches.

[Stavros Halkias]

Roommates.

[Caller]

We're buddies. Love them to death. I have noticed over the last three years of living with them, they've had the same shampoo conditioner and body wash bottles in the shower the whole time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Very twisted.

[Caller]

And I'm like. And it's funny because the bot. The bottles are. Oh, they're transparent.

[Stavros Halkias]

So I can see that transparent bottles.

[Caller]

Has not really moved much.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh.

[Caller]

Since we've lived together. And it's like, this person is very clean. Like, they shower every day. They smell good. They're not. At this point, all I can think is like, are they using my shampoo? Like, I don't know. And if they are, like, do I say something? Like, it's not like I'm like flying through my soap, but I'm kind of like, I don't know. It's just weird. I'm like, what? What's going on here? So anyways, you probably won't answer this one. This is kind of a silly one, but thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not only will we answer it. Well, first of all, let me just say your roommate is suspected of keeping it Twisted. Keeping it much too twisted. Okay, that's. Now look, that's a. That's misdemeanor. We are in a misdemeanor twisted court. Right.

[Caller]

Felonies only.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not. It's not felony. Keeping it twisted. It's not, you know, your ex's grandma or whatever, you know, but this is a level. And I'm just wondering.

[Caller]

Showering by definition is not twisted, but if you're committing a minor crime while.

[Stavros Halkias]

Showering, that is keeping it very twisted. And yeah, you're doing a. A clean that. Showering and bathing, it's sort. It's almost like this, like. Like almost this symbolic. You're cleansing yourself. And to. It's a. It's a baptism of sorts. Every time you shower. And to just say. To just say, not only am I not going to accept this ritual cleansing, I'm going to steal during it. That's why people who beat off in the shower is weird. It's like, come on. Jacking off into the shower.

[Caller]

If you sin during your baptism, you go to purgatory forever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's actually not bad. That's a good loophole.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cuz that way you don't get to. You don't have to go to hell.

[Caller]

Sin as much as you want in life.

[Stavros Halkias]

I wish I had known that I.

[Caller]

Was beating off during my own baptism as a baby.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would be keeping it twisted as a baby. J the priest. Look at JP's like, well, that young man, you know what he's doing? He's.

[Caller]

What you going to do about it, Father Twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

So, okay, Birthday edition. We used to be roommates. I had a bottle of Pert plus for years. Are you calling me out here eldest?

[Caller]

I was about to say. I think we could definitely accuse you of keeping it twisted. I feel like I usually had nicer shampoo than you.

[Will Sasso]

Interested?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, I see what's going on here. On your birthday, you decided to use a. To kind of get a question that's not that twisted to accuse me of a crime.

[Caller]

Hired a Fiverr worker and emailed them the script. I bring this up on the pod.

[Stavros Halkias]

And by the way, my roommate not only is using my shampoo, but I also, I suspect him of taking two to three spoonfuls of my Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream and smoking a little bit of my weed.

[Caller]

And he cooked a meal and used seven pots. And they've been in the sink for five days. I kind of assumed he'll have them cleaned up every day. I come home from work, worked but.

[Stavros Halkias]

He doesn't have a job.

[Caller]

I think he bought a flashlight on my Amazon prime.

Every time I come home from work, he's on the couch. And I could just tell he's been here most of the day. But he still hasn't cleaned the pots and pans from when he wanted to make zucchini fritters.

If I could have rigged up some cameras in this palace that you guys were living in.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh man, that is a shame.

[Will Sasso]

Dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would have been a great documentary. Is like just sealed footage of us like before, you know, before like even like we're talking. This is like right when cometown is starting. This is so long ago.

[Caller]

But you know, I think I've kept it twisted in the way the callers.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was a two way twisted street when we were. When we were roommates. So whatever. But that's very interesting.

[Caller]

So my instinct to this question is. Is mind your business.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. Okay. Because we do respect the twisted. That's the problem with the. When your call gets selected for the twisted ass question of the week, we tend to side with a twisted individual. And your roommate is keeping it twisted here.

[Caller]

Keeping it delightfully twisted. I also had a really annoying roommate one time who was a piece of. He was like a medical student and he was just a completely pampered mama's boy. And he had like he had keels body wash in the shower and I had whatever up thing I was buying from the bodega.

[Will Sasso]

Okay.

[Caller]

I was stealing some of the teals body wash. But microscopic announcement. And he sent us me and my other roommate, my good friend, this long ass text. Like a very annoying text to get like someone's been using my body wash and it's very expensive. And it's like okay fine. But also how do you know that?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you marked it.

[Caller]

There were no visible marks. So it's like are you taking a.

[Stavros Halkias]

Picture of this every time he might.

[Caller]

Have been the humiliating behavior.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's. And I. I could see like there is a way to steal a little shampoo here and there. And that's okay that you charge that to the game.

[Caller]

Yep.

[Stavros Halkias]

I. I will say actually this person is slot. I actually I changed my mind. I'm not on their team because this is behavior that you sort of expect a little bit here and there. They're keeping it twisted is one thing. But you can't be sloppy when you keep keep it twisted. Your shampoo bottles cannot be clear if you're stealing somebody's shampoo like I have. There is still. I think I Threw away a bot. The bottle. Shampoo. First of all, when I grew my hair out during the pandemic. Remember you were. You were gone by then when I was growing my hair out. But I remember my roommate, our friend, our good friend, the elusive and mysterious Big P, that when he came home and he saw there was shampoo, that I put shampoo in our shirt shower, he started laughing his dick off. Because I would. I was like, bald. You know, I'd been bald since we were 22. And then at 34 or whatever, 33, whatever, he was like, I grew my hair out in the pandemic. But I've had. I had a bottle of Green Pert plus that you couldn't see through laying there for four years. And that was beautiful. That's all the plausible deniability you need. The telltale part, if you're this guy, you get perks. You get a thing of Irish Spring.

[Will Sasso]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Body wash. You put it there or you put one up bar. You know what I mean?

[Caller]

Like, the bottle you had was like the old branding.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller]

It's a vintage.

[Stavros Halkias]

So we. We're saying it is weird. You can ask. You'd be like, hey. Or you know what you really do? You run out of soap. Because that would happen to me. I would stop stealing when they got too close to the end, you know, Then it got dire. Then I was just taking pure water showers. And that's brutal stuff.

[Caller]

So moving the sweat around because.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, because this is the twisted ass question. Usually you would say, ask them. They're your boy. It's a little weird. Who cares? But since it's the twisted ass question of the week, we say get twisted back. Or if you really wanna keep it twisted, you put some Nair in your shampoo. If you really want to keep it.

[Caller]

Twisted, that's how you find out once.

[Stavros Halkias]

You find out once and for all, you put a decoy. But it doesn't sound like she even wants to do that. We're just giving you twisted options. So.

[Caller]

So take your shampoo and conditioner, squeeze it into like plastic bags and leave, like, the empty bottles.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Oh, true.

[Caller]

And see if they. And then you have your own stash.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, just have your own stash. You know, I don't know about this. Putting in bottles.

[Caller]

I haven't thought it all the way through, but I'm trying to move it to another place.

[Stavros Halkias]

Holy. That was twisted. Well, maybe we shouldn't be telling. You know, advocating for.

[Caller]

Content.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, this isn't sponsored. Is merely the twisted ass. This is just a thing we like to do organically twisted te so much.

[Caller]

J.P. we just wear the shoes I was wearing already.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was wearing this hat. I was in this city when this episode started. So there you have it. That's how you're going to keep it twisted. And don't forget, if you want to keep it twisted, you could. There's no better beverage to keep it twisted than a delicious twisted tea from our friends at Twisted Tea. Keep it twisted. All right, well, what did you think of that, Will?

[Will Sasso]

That's fucking great.

[Stavros Halkias]

What else we got, little buddy? What else we got here?

[Caller]

Hey, Stavi. I'm just calling in to the problem that I have is I'm still in love with the person that I'm supposed to be friends with. Short story. I am a widower, and it is my wife's cousin. So we kind of, like, trauma bonded together, and then things accelerated into a intimate relationship.

[Stavros Halkias]

You fucked her?

[Caller]

But she is Polly.

[Stavros Halkias]

That ain't the problem. It's not on her side, you weirdo.

[Caller]

Because it's all new to me. I've only ever been monogamous. And.

[Stavros Halkias]

What the is that Pauly Shore movie where he has to the. It's like the younger brother has to marry the widow. Do you remember that one?

[Will Sasso]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's like, a weird Pauly Shore movie, I think. Anyway, keep playing this call. So this guy. Wow. Okay. That threw me for a loop. I thought for sure he was like, I have feelings for this woman, but she's my. May she rest in peace. This man has moved on with his dead wife's cousin. Very interesting move. Okay, all right. Not judging here. It just kind of caught me off guard. Just caught me off guard. Let's see what else he's got. Let's go back a little bit.

[Caller]

Decided to stay friends.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can you go back?

[Caller]

I kind of had a little freak out about it because it's all new to me. I've only ever been monogamous, and so we decided to stay friends. And I have been experimenting with the poly lifestyle, and I am enjoying it, which is really annoying because now I'm realizing that I freaked out when I shouldn't have. Like, we're back at being in a good place as friends, so I'm just wondering, should I just kind of, like, chalk it up as a loss and just continue being friends or, like, shoot my shot again? Because I really love this woman still.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, man. Hold on. Yeah. The fact that. I'm sorry. The fact that it's his deceased wife's cousin is actually immaterial to this question, it doesn't matter at all.

[Will Sasso]

It has not come up since the beginning of the call. You're right. It's color.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, I thought that was gonna be the whole point of this. But this is. Okay, let's just take that out. Cause I am finding it too funny otherwise and weird. And this just shows you how resilient a man is. Yeah, he deals with the most intense tragedy possible, but if there's a lady with big tits that'll suck him off at the funeral, he's moving on. And now he's getting into the poly lifestyle.

[Will Sasso]

It really.

[Caller]

It really is like, no judgment. I'm sure it's a complicated experience to.

[Will Sasso]

Go through with, just.

[Caller]

But it's like, man, imagine being the wife listening to this voicemail from up in heaven.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's like, what is this your problem?

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not even a little bit of you didn't at the end say. And of course, obviously there's a little guilt involved here. There's none of that, you know? Yeah, no. Again, no. No judgment, I suppose. But this is.

[Will Sasso]

I'm gonna put myself in the. In the. I'm gonna put myself in the shoes of anyone who. Any one of your close friends or definitely family.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right.

[Will Sasso]

In the future that has to listen to the answer to. So how do you guys get together? So. And I was sitting here going.

[Stavros Halkias]

So.

[Will Sasso]

My advice would be to stop it, get out. I think right away, even the part that he, like you said, cares very little about that. His. His deceased wife, his family, with the. Even just the poly thing. But.

[Stavros Halkias]

But that.

[Will Sasso]

That at the top of it, that was.

[Stavros Halkias]

The Polly Poly thing is big problem.

[Will Sasso]

But now he's into the poly thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now he's into the poly thing by accident. Okay, let me. Let's. Let's actually give this guy some fucking. Let's stop laughing at him and give him some tough talking to. Okay.

[Will Sasso]

Where do you get these?

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, this one's awesome, dude.

[Will Sasso]

When I see your calls, I'm just like. And I'm watching it going. And then you hit me up like, hey, man, I'm in town. You do the podcast. You want to come? Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fuck yeah.

[Will Sasso]

And my first thought is like, oh, Whenever I watch the show, I'm like, don't, don't. Don't give advice to that. Like, you're a fucking actor, comedian or something. You can't help this person. But now I'm sitting here going, we.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gotta help this fucking guy save this man, dude. Okay, I think it is very, very possible that you might not even really understand what's going on emotionally for yourself right now, Right? Like, let's give him some credit and. And just even say he might be too fucking stupid to understand, like, how sad he is and the ways grief is taking place. Cause here's the thing. Let's throw the. Okay, let's start one by one trauma bonded. You both went, you know, whatever. Grief is weird. Essentially, you in a tumultuous emotional time in your life, hooked up with somebody that you both sought comfort from each other, right? And now you're trying to fuck her again. Why don't you just chalk that up to, hey, it was a fucking weird time. It was a fucking weird time. And maybe your freakout had a little bit to do with that. Maybe you did. It wasn't the fact that you wanted to be in a monogamous relationship with your dead wife's cousin. It was the fact that maybe on some emotional level, you were freaking out about. About it. Right? So, hey, we'll give you the pass for fucking her, pal. Good. You're absolved. Done, done and done. And you know what? You want to do some weird poly shit while you're dealing with this, great. But you can't fuck her again. No, that's fucking nuts. Yeah, that's fucking nuts. You're out of your fucking mind, dude. And we're only saying this because we're your friends, but, like, did you see how gobsmacked your thing made me? Do you understand how much much weird we get on this show and how much this me up? Please take that as an understanding of what's going on here.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolved you her once. Who cares? You're getting to polish it great. Me and, like, you both might not know what's going on here. You can't fuck. You move on other women. Who gives a fuck?

[Will Sasso]

The second time is going to be exponentially.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's going to be so weird.

[Will Sasso]

Way worse. And is going to come back to haunt you in ways that you can't even think of right now. I can't imagine them. You're. You're in the situation, and you clearly don't know what they are because you're calling Stavi to go help me sort this out. You. You have no idea what's coming for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, dude.

[Will Sasso]

No, you do not. Please run the other way.

[Stavros Halkias]

You got. Yeah. This is all. You know what? After the initial shock wore off. This is pretty easy. You good?

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, no, I'm good.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is a pretty easy thing. You had a weird hookup in a weird Time. And now you move on. And her saying, like, you're in a good place as friends. That's good, that's good. Stay friends.

[Will Sasso]

She's not Paulie. She's just saying that to get him off her ass.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

Oh, I like all sorts of people.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's like, me too. Totally.

[Will Sasso]

That didn't work.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're good, man. Keep it moving.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, keep it moving.

[Stavros Halkias]

A bunch of, like, you're sad still. You don't even understand it. And just. Just keep it moving, bro.

[Will Sasso]

Keep it moving.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wild stuff, man.

[Will Sasso]

I mean, that's. Yeah, that was. That was. That was something. Oh, man, that was really something.

[Stavros Halkias]

We drama bonded. That's the last it came up. I mean, that's nuts.

[Will Sasso]

That's almost incest. I mean, it's incestuous. It's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, it's.

[Will Sasso]

It's.

[Stavros Halkias]

There is.

[Will Sasso]

I mean, it's emotional, familial. I mean, they're not blood related, so.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Will Sasso]

You can't say, but that's. Keep it moving.

[Stavros Halkias]

You gotta keep moving. And it probably was probably a pretty nice nut or two. That's the other thing. It's probably like, up. Just probably made his dick even harder on some level. And that's. He's trying to tap into that. But that is over. That's over. You're right. The sheen is gone. The first. They might have a few times, but it's like, that will never come back. Brother, please move. Okay, Play a.

[Will Sasso]

Call other women whose cousins may have passed away and see if that gets.

[Stavros Halkias]

You going to funerals. Maybe you just want to fuck sad women.

[Will Sasso]

There you go.

[Stavros Halkias]

See if anybody in your past has died recently. Yeah, go to a high school reunion. Anyway, keep going.

[Eldis]

Eldest, hi, savvy, longtime listener, first time caller. I was calling and I love the show.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you.

[Eldis]

I was calling because I had, like, kind of a weird incident happen with my family, and I wanted to know how to support, I guess, my mom.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Eldis]

So my mom got a WhatsApp message from my dad when he was in an Eastern European country by himself because he was going to go visit my brother in the uk. And it was of what she described as AI porn, but of him. And I felt weird because I was like, why would someone be sending AI porn of my dad to my mom? And what does that mean? So she seemed to, like, just be really, really stressed out and brushed it off as just a thing that didn't happen. But, like, still seems pretty sad about the incident. And I don't know, like, I guess.

[Caller]

I Asked for, like, well, what did.

[Stavros Halkias]

The video look like?

[Eldis]

And it didn't have audio. And it was like 10 seconds. And really, really, really still. Like, still. Like, the phone was still. And I asked my boyfriend, like, oh, do you think it's AI? Or do you think something funny is happening? Another thing for context is my dad has a very, very, like, shitty phone. It basically is an Obama phone, but he just refuses to get anything better, so it can be hacked pretty easy. And he only uses WhatsApp, and I don't know why. So I feel like he's just more prone to getting hacked with the incident. Just made me feel weird and I don't know what it's about.

[Caller]

So.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

What would you do? What are your thoughts? It was just something really weird that happened. Not like my dad to do that. It's also weird because it's like, I'm not gonna ask my mom to see it because I feel like if you. If I were to see it, I would know it's AI right away. But I. That just puts me in a weird position. It's not like I can make, like, my friends or my boyfriend look at that either. But, yeah. Appreciate your thoughts. Sorry if the call was long. Okay.

[Will Sasso]

Love the show. Love you all.

[Eldis]

Bye.

[Will Sasso]

Send it to Stubbs.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would love to see it. We honestly would love to check out the AI pornography of your father. So this woman is saying her mom received a WhatsApp message from her dad while he was away in Europe, and it was AI pornography, I assume of the dad holding his cock or some shit. Yeah, she doesn't specify, but maybe he's Jackie.

[Will Sasso]

She does not mention another woman or partner.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, she does not. Yeah, but which I would. That seems like it would have been like. And her mom said she brushed it off. Did she ask. Did she ask her husband, hey, what the fuck is this? Like, what? Like, I don't get that. I mean, that's fucking nuts.

[Will Sasso]

I kind of feel like mom has the right strategy here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Respect.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, definitely. Just brush that off, pretend it didn't happen. 100%. Bury that down. Also, this dude is just. Didn't she say he was visiting her brother in the uk, Right. Which last time I checked, is not in Eastern Europe. So now he's just in Eastern Europe.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

With. And there's some AI.

[Caller]

I'm assuming he was doing some sort of tour or stop or something. Yeah, that's what it was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, but, like, could he have gotten hacked? Could somebody have taken a picture from him and made AI pornography?

[Will Sasso]

They don't want money. They're not trying to blackmail him or anything.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, they used to do that, right. Where they would be like, they'd get you to jack off on cam and then they record it.

[Will Sasso]

Oh.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then they'd show you the video and be like, we're sending this to all your friends if you don't give us money. So is it possible that maybe it's not AI porn? Maybe dad was beating off on FaceTime with somebody in Slovakia?

[Will Sasso]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they sent it to everybody. You know what I mean? That could be it.

[Will Sasso]

No, I think you cracked it.

[Stavros Halkias]

That might be.

[Will Sasso]

This should be in law and order.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we should get a law. And I would say you have a brother. You gotta ask your brother in the UK to look at this pornography and tell you what it is.

[Caller]

Your brother can look at it, Your.

[Stavros Halkias]

Brother can look at it.

[Caller]

It's different than.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your brother can definitely look at it.

[Caller]

It's different than being a girl looking at her dad's.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would, if my dad sent my mom some weird thing. Yeah, I would. It would be my duty as the firstborn to look at potentially my dad's hard cock. Yeah, that would be. That would be something I'd have to do. And I'd be praying it's AI now, the other funny possibility here is your dad just learned about AI, you know how, like, a bunch of fucking ugly motherfuckers were doing the AI, what did I look like in high school thing and posting just. Just a sexy version of them that never existed when it's. You know what I mean? Those, like, do you remember that? Anyway, people were doing that a lot when AI first came out, was like, just a hot. Picture them. Is it possible your dad is a horny man who loves your mother and just found out about AI? He put himself through a filter that makes his dick look harder and bigger and is trying to jerk off with your mom. Like, is it possible your dad took a weird shot at your mom when he's feeling horny off the. Off the raki. He's had bathtub moonshine from. From the, you know, the old world. And he's trying to get his wife to look at his hard, but it's not getting that hard, so he throws a filter on it. Is that possible? Nope.

[Will Sasso]

It's the first one. Yeah. This isn't a. A trump. Nft. Cause he's not. He's not. It's not him dressed up as a fucking astronaut or a cowboy. Yeah, it's just him with his dick out. Just a guy with his dick out. That's what happened here. She sounds so sweet.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're right. You're so right.

[Will Sasso]

You're affected by it. Also the fact that the mom.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not AI at all. You're so right.

[Will Sasso]

It's not AI. But that's also an old head thing to do is to blame shit on analogy.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's AI. My husband's not a weird pervert. It's AI.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. Just everything is. And you just blame it all on AI. The. The fact that the mom has said nothing about this and just seems kind of sad means that you might be new to knowing that your mom's ignored a lot of. About your dad and it just makes her kind of sad.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, true.

[Will Sasso]

So I agree with the. Not wanting to make it worse and stuff. A lot of shit will come out in the wash and. Yeah, maybe just let it lie.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're so right about that. Who knows? Pops is on a. You're right. Pops on an Eastern European solo tour on his way to the uk. Last time I checked, there's plenty of direct flights till Heathrow.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He doesn't really have to stop over in fucking Ukraine.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, no, that's. That's amazing. Oh, yeah. I got. I'm going to. I'm going to Montana. I got a layover in Chicago.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I have to go. Yeah. There's a weird thing where you have to stop in Thailand for 48 hours on the way. On the way to the UK, but the tickets are so cheap. I just gotta do it. Yeah. And I would consult with your brother. This is what brothers are for. Pornography is his realm. Your dad's dick is his realm.

[Will Sasso]

Totally.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's gotta handle this for you. He's gotta be the one to do this.

[Will Sasso]

He's watched him piss in the woods.

[Stavros Halkias]

Over and over again. He'll be able to just.

[Will Sasso]

And he won't even have to look that long. He'll just be like, that's Dad's hammer. That's not. Not. That's not AI at all. He didn't enhance that. Same color.

[Stavros Halkias]

I remember that freckle.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. This is fascinating though. And please call in with a resolution if you have one. We were captivated by this. Damn. This is so sweet. Is it AI?

[Will Sasso]

She sounded so nice. Yeah.

[Caller]

You heard it in her voice. She's just like. She doesn't even want to entertain that it could be real and.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it's so clearly real.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. That's what threw me. The whole. For the whole first part. I'm like, what is she? Why is the word. Why is the word AI even in this? I don't understand what the hell she's talking about now.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, hack and AI are two of the most.

[Will Sasso]

Yes, I got hacked. I got hacked.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's AI is like the. We are going to hear that every time, like a Republican senator gets caught getting his dick sucked by a 17 year old boy, we are going to hear about how he got hacked. And it's AI for eternity. We're going to hear that. All right, let's see what else we got. Some pretty good questions. Elders, good job producing so far.

[Caller]

Tavi, hope you're doing well, you and your esteemed guest. I hope that your Albanian picks my question this time. I have a bit of a problem, man. So I've been working at this same job for a few years now. It's a nice little office job.

[Stavros Halkias]

I like it a lot.

[Caller]

I have an intern who just actually ended their first semester with our office and they're going to be, they potentially coming back. The thing is, man, I'm pretty sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

That they're into me and like, I'm not.

[Caller]

I mean, I don't want to fuck up my job. I know that they're like basically done working with me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on, dude, wouldn't be that big of a deal.

[Caller]

I don't know if I would get, get fired even if, like it turned out that we were doing anything beforehand. We haven't done anything. They are.

[Stavros Halkias]

The fact that you're already thinking about legalities and trying to get the timing right, you know what you're doing is fucked up, man. The fact that you're trying to get the timeline straight for the prosecutor, that's already a very bad sign. We'll hear you out. But, but you're on very thin ice.

[Caller]

The thing is, they are so hot, it's insane. And on top of that, I'm pretty sure that they're into me. Like, they always want to work with me on projects. They're always asking me if I want to do stuff with them. As far as like, work stuff. We've never hung out outside of work, but they're always trying to help me with stuff. And the email, they're acting all flirty and things like that. I've been trying to keep things very professional, but I would, I would do it. I gotta say, stop. What do I do? There's a, I'm working here for about three years and it's like a, I don't know, like a half a decade, some age gap so no issues there, really, I guess. I don't know. Help me out, man. Would it be creepy? Would it seem weird? I. I don't want to really, like, reach out to them to be like, hey, you want to hang? Or something like that at the same time, Like, I don't know, am I gonna miss out on this opportunity? Please help me out. And if you could make this the twisted question.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what, Elders, you fucked up. This should have been the twisted question of the week, you fucking idiot. This is the most. This is an insane. Although I don't know if twisted T would want to be associated with fucking a subordinate.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it is twisted. It is very twisted, okay? I mean, dude, you know, you can't fuck someone at the all. I mean, what are the. More. What are the true moral implications here? Who really gives a fuck about fucking somebody at an office? Like. Like, whatever. It happens all the time, but it's.

[Will Sasso]

Always a terrible idea.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a bad idea.

[Will Sasso]

How a lot of people do meet.

[Stavros Halkias]

Their partners exactly at work. I'm a little dubious of your reading of the situation, too.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, it's like, I don't know. Are you sure? Oh, the hot college student is really into you.

[Will Sasso]

But did he mention. Did I hear it right, that you were saying he's five years?

[Stavros Halkias]

Just five years older. That's not crazy, honestly.

[Caller]

And he sounds pretty young himself.

[Stavros Halkias]

He sounds pretty young. If this person's 20, he's 25 or 20.

[Caller]

He sounds young. If he's, like, making it this big of a deal and isn't just like, yeah, I'm going to this, a real scumbag would have.

[Stavros Halkias]

If they're 20, he would have been like, I could buy you booze. Why don't you just come to my apartment? And he would have cornered them in a room.

[Will Sasso]

He seems really hung up on the. The. The fact that it's the. The. The. The power dynamic. He's an in. It's an intern. Yeah. I think you need to. I.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is every.

[Will Sasso]

This is the answer to every single one of these, is leave it alone. This is evil.

[Stavros Halkias]

I will say, yes. I will say. You seem to like, you might see them later.

[Will Sasso]

You might see them later in life.

[Stavros Halkias]

If they truly want to fuck you, right? If they really. 100%. If you are right and there is some kind of something going on, let it go. Maybe run into them. Maybe on their last day. They say something like, oh, can I use you as a reference? And you exchange contact. Like, let them show actual interest instead of you thinking well, obviously, the hottest person in this office wants to fuck me.

[Will Sasso]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

You might be wrong. Let things. And look, if you guys happen to. If some connection is made when you are not. When they're not your subordinate and you don't want to jeopardize your job, fine. But, like, anything you do while they work there seems like you're on. You know, I wouldn't make this move if I. Unless they were, like, it was very, very apparent. And even then, you probably shouldn't. But look, who am I to tell you, you can't break a few rules to somebody that's hot. I get that. I understand that you're the guy that.

[Will Sasso]

Has question and answers for an hour at the end of your podcast. You're exactly the first. You're the only person he's gonna ask, unfortunately, so you better nail it.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right. I guess you're right. Don't do it. No, don't do it.

[Will Sasso]

And also, he's like, I might want to stay at the job.

[Stavros Halkias]

I might not.

[Will Sasso]

No, you want your job, you just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Say, job is horny.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This show.

[Will Sasso]

This is horny guy at work.

[Stavros Halkias]

The reality here is this man is insanely starved, and it's. He's trying. He's trying to. He knows it's a bad idea, and he's like, do I even. That's how much, you know, he wants to fuck. He's like, do I even like my job? Yeah, like, it's like he wants to fuck this person so bad. He's like. Like, I don't. Is this industry even for me? So you're. You're not thinking clearly.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, You.

[Stavros Halkias]

You let it. You definitely don't make a move while they work there, and then you let it go. And if something organic happens afterwards, when they show interest and it's not just you reading the tea leaves, then it's up to you, man. That's a personal decision. But don't fuck your job up because you need a nut.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Unless it was a really bad job. I never. In the office.

[Will Sasso]

It's a really bad idea to get involved with anybody at work.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, there's no.

[Will Sasso]

It's just you don't shit where you eat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you ever have, like, a. An off, like a day job, office job? Or was it just right to Neon Rider and you were off, brother.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. Yeah. And that's definitely somewhere where you don't want to pick up, you know, when you're on Neon Rider, the show about the teens. Being a teen at that time, myself. You don't Want to get involved with any of the. The social workers? There's a couple of lovely women working on the show. Actors.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right. All right. Well, yeah, I think we did good. We still. We stayed. We stayed moral. Keep going out this.

[Caller]

Hey, Stavi. It's called a few times. Huge fan of the show.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you. Thank.

[Caller]

Thank you so much for all you do. And you and Elvis, of course. I'm just calling because I've been in a relationship for about 10 years now, and sometimes I struggle with the idea that we don't show love in the same way. He's very, like, I guess, affectionate and shows affection through words of affirmation and physical touch, while I'm more like an acts of service kind of girl. And I feel like sometimes we butt heads on, you know, if we're showing love and appreciation to each other in the right way. So I just wanted to see if you had any advice on kind of changing the mindset and making it to where you guys, the two people, can kind of reach common ground in the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Way that you show love to each other.

[Caller]

Again, love the pod. Thank you so much. This is way cheaper than therapy. So you're the.

[Stavros Halkias]

The realist for this. It's just as helpful.

[Caller]

Have a great day. Thanks so much.

[Will Sasso]

Bye. I mean, she solves the problem at the end of it by saying, this is way cheaper than therapy. Go to therapy. Don't ask him or me. Like, couples therapy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Will Sasso]

This is kind of service kind of girl.

[Stavros Halkias]

She says that.

[Will Sasso]

That made me sad.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is a straight up couples therapy situation. Without question.

[Will Sasso]

The great thing about couples. Couples therapy is they were. Even though you guys have been together for 10 years, a good therapist will be able to listen to two of you in a session and be like, I can't help you. Which means break up if I can't help you break up. Because this is. That. That's how easy it is. I don't even want another session. Yeah, break up. Well, they'll know I empathize with this. With this. With this woman. That sounds rough.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, so the idea basically is, like, her partner, he's very touchy feely. And she's more like, I'd like you to do the dishes or something. I don't know if that's what active service.

[Will Sasso]

I believe active service meant that she looks at. And I may be wrong because she used the term act of service.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think she's using. This is a type of language of the. Isn't it love language stuff.

[Will Sasso]

Is it?

[Stavros Halkias]

I think so.

[Will Sasso]

Oh, okay. I'VE never heard of.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's like gift giving, physical touch. I write, look up.

[Will Sasso]

I thought she meant that her affection falls under the act of service.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, no, no, I don't think that. I think she basically means what the way she likes to receive love is by him doing nice things for her, whereas he likes to just be cuddly and physical touch. I think it's different types of. Yeah. Acts of services or love language means that someone feels most loved when their partner actively does thoughtful things for them by completing tasks, running errands, or performing small favors to make their lives easier. So, okay, look who doesn't like that, right? I mean, that's the other thing. Look at all five love languages. And they're all like awesome things. Like, none of them are click on all, you know, all love languages there. Eldest, there's that. It's a fucking. The five love languages to the right. God, you're fucking producing. Okay, acts of service, gifts. Give thoughtful gifts, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation. All those are fucking awesome. So I guess. But okay, I get it. Whatever she prefers. Is the problem that you really have different love languages or would you be more affectionate to someone you loved more? Like, maybe that's, you know, maybe I don't want to assume that, but maybe that's true. Maybe it's not. Would he want to do shit for you? Like, this is the thing, even if he's not like, I'm fucking lazy. I don't like running errands for myself. But I. In relationships, it's. Something clicks for me and it feels good. I will. So I will way more go out of my way to pick up, go to a store and get something for somebody I'm dating, more so than if I would do it for myself. You know what I mean? So I don't know if you necessarily have to break up, but if you. Have you had these conversations, it's like, hey, could you do this for me? I really appreciate this. And maybe it's, you know, it's a compromise thing of, like, maybe you want to be a little more physically affectionate. Maybe he does a little more stuff that you like. But it's like, this is relationship stuff 101 in terms of compromise.

[Will Sasso]

Also, 10 years in, and each of them are only doing one of the five love languages you want for the U.S. you know what I mean? Do more of those. You at least get to 3 out of 5. And then see if you have some overlap before you call Stavi and be like, fix this for Me, I've been in a relationship for 10 years.

[Stavros Halkias]

For 10 years. And he won't pick up my dry cleaning when I ask. But yeah, I mean, I do hate to be like, but it's like, have you just. How do you reach common ground? You have the conversation and not to be reductive, but if it's important enough to both of you, you'll just fucking do it. Unless there's little resentments that stop you and that can definitely build up. And I hate to say it, but Will is right. This is cheaper than therapy. And that's the issue here. You literally need to go and talk through these issues because I have. Again, you guys are in long term relationships.

[Will Sasso]

Does this seem, is it worth 150 bucks? Yeah, it's basically the calculation.

[Caller]

Well, I would say to her, is she subscribed to the Patreon?

[Stavros Halkias]

Because if she's not, she's not.

[Caller]

We give even better advice.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is so much better on the Patreon. Yeah, that's a great point. Eldest, but yeah, I don't know, I.

[Caller]

Wonder, I wonder if she like feels smothered too. Because all this love language stuff, it just like, I don't know, it's like, is he being too lovey dovey and annoying? It's like, like, is that what you mean?

[Will Sasso]

Doing anything?

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Will Sasso]

Because, because, you know, you know, I mean, whatever, people in general, but women need someone to show up and, and you know, and, and I guess do these love language things. You know what I mean? Like, but like, you gotta do you.

[Stavros Halkias]

I agree.

[Will Sasso]

When you, in partnership, you have to like, you show up for the other person because you are thinking of them and you love them and you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Them and you want to make their life easier.

[Will Sasso]

You want to make their life easier and you just. And it becomes hopefully second nature.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, Right.

[Will Sasso]

Ten years in.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It shouldn't be harder ten years in. Yeah. You should understand each other's rhythms a little better. And what this boils down to, if we take out the love language parlance is like, this guy wants to fuck and you want him to do chores. It's turned into a fucking Tim Allen routine from the 80s, which is like, my wife won't blow me unless I do the dishes. It's like, I hate to fucking. Again, let's cut through the love language stuff. But it's like acts of service versus physical affection. We can fucking read between the lines here. Is there a reason you don't want to be as affectionate? Is there a reason he doesn't want to do stuff for you. You got to get to the bottom of that. I don't know. That's as easy. And of course that's as much as I can give you. I'm also a, you know, a bachelor. What can I say? It's been a while since I've never been in a 10 year relationship. The longest relationship I've been has been like, you know, a couple years. So I don't know what to tell you, but good luck out there. Go to therapy maybe. Sorry. And you know, I don't want to tell you, really think about your relationship and see if it makes sense, but I mean, it's.

[Will Sasso]

It's better than that fucking polyamorous cousin bullshit. You got that going for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is true. You're in a much better position than that guy.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. Not a freak show like that other guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

That fucking guy, that grief stricken son of a bitch who's fucking. The tragic loss of his wife re fucking melted his brain and thinks he's gotta get into vests and fucking multiple people at night. Starts talking about fluid bonding. All right, ld, what else we got here? We're rolling. We got some great advice.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Hey, I'll just. Sorry about that last voicemail. My phone died mid voicemail. Anyways, I was hoping that you could hook me up and tell that filthy Greek that you worked for about my problem. So not speaking to elders that I recently got off parole in California and moved up north to Oregon and I haven't been with my family in some time and they have brought a ton of tiny dogs. And my problem is that my mom's dog comes on me and they're a small breed, which, you know, like stops dick, which is big for a dog. But that's not the point here. I would just, you know, grab it by the scruff of the neck and throw it down. But it's. It's so small, it just jumps on my chest and comes on me. And like, it's like he just like. It's a dominant posture. And my mom picks, thinks it's the funniest shit. And I'm just trying to go to school and live at the house and not be sexually assaulted every single day. Like as soon as he comes out of my mom's room in the morning while I'm eating, drinking my coffee, he charges downstairs, jumps onto my chest and comes on me and kind of dares me to do anything about it because my mom will defend him and be like, oh, no, that's just my poor baby. But the thing is My stuffed panda that I've had my whole fucking entire life he raped when I was in prison. He. He just threw it away before I got out. Yeah, that's it. That's it. My mom's every morning this dog nuts on your every chance he gets. And I don't know what to do. Kill it maybe. Come on it. I'm not sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Shouldn't come. Yes.

[Caller]

And exalted guest. Take care.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is this real? Feels fake.

[Caller]

It feels fake. I wondered this when I scre this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, here's some. Walk me through your thought process.

[Caller]

Here are some clues why I'm willing to entertain it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caller]

I have known small dogs that do get excitable. I don't know about coming, but I googled it and apparently that is a.

[Will Sasso]

Thing sometimes got two small dogs. I've never.

[Caller]

I have seen dogs that when you walk in the house, they like, get excited and pee all over themselves.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Caller]

So I think it's like maybe a similar thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. But this here's another clue.

[Caller]

What he's describing as his mom's reaction. Like, oh, that's my baby. Haha. They laugh it off. I can see that too.

[Stavros Halkias]

I can. I'll give you.

[Caller]

I can see like a dog owner, like, just being like, oh, that's just cute. He's just a dog. He doesn't know any better.

[Stavros Halkias]

Especially when she's poured all her love into the dog while you were in prison. She's like, well, this is my child now.

[Caller]

And then the last clue I would say is, you know, he has a rough around the edges way of speaking. He's referring to this dog raping his stuffed animal in a way that, you know, I believe this guy's on parole. Whether or not this is real or not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. All right, I guess, fine, Elvis, you've pleaded your case.

[Caller]

That's my apology for letting this one slip through.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you know what I made fun of this guy for. This is what a mark you are. This guy fucking just addressed you directly and you were like, I'm gonna advocate for him. I'm gonna make it so that we do answer his question.

[Will Sasso]

I'm happy for him that it seems like nothing this bad has happened. Nothing even approaching this bad has happened to him in prison.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Will Sasso]

So he's like, this is the most traumatic thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true. And in terms of the jizz you're getting daily, it's much better to get chihuahua come on your dickies at your mom's house than a fucking arsonist cum on your chin. On the top bunk. So all things considered, look at it that way.

[Will Sasso]

You know, make it a fun game. See if you can just avoid the dog and get treats to treats.

[Stavros Halkias]

How about this? He maybe is attracted to your scent. Go work out in a shirt, get it real musky, and then put it on a stuffed animal and see if he. That stuffed animal. If he raped your panda, which I'm sorry to hear about, can you get him a different stuffed animal for him.

[Will Sasso]

To toss that into the house before you go in there and then enjoy your coffee.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Will Sasso]

And watch it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are there chihuahua pocket pussies? Is there some kind of. Is there something for a thing to fuck?

[Caller]

I think that just what stuffed animals are.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, essentially all the, all those are pet smarter. Just, they all have. Why do they all have a little finger hole in them that you. Oh, it's a puppet.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's for snack pellets.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, yeah, that's right. You hide the treat in there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You could create. How about this? Let's get back to the. What you learned in prison. How they make those pussies out of sponges or whatever. Make him one of those. Get a stuffed animal, cut out the ass, make him a tiny little dog, prison pocket pussy out of gloves and sponges and dial soap. And that way everybody's happy.

[Will Sasso]

I mean, there's just no way. This is just your crossed bear. I'm sorry, there's no way around this. I'm thinking like, and like I said, we got two little cute dogs. It's like, oh, they do this, they do that. One of our dogs is getting. Ronnie's like 13 now. She's pissing inside a little bit. Never used to do that. It's just we deal with, with it. We love her through it all. Cute.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's cute.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, it pissed me off the first few times, cuz she's very housebroken and now all of a sudden she's, she's old. You know, it's cute that she did that. So you got dogs coming on.

[Stavros Halkias]

You got dogs coming on you. He's threatened. There's masculine energy in the house.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's putting you in your place.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, I, I, you got to. Yeah, I think, I think unfortunately, and I hate to say this, I think you're the problem. Problem?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Commit another crime.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Get back to jail, man.

[Caller]

Better living arrangement than living with your mom getting jizzed on every day by her pooch.

[Stavros Halkias]

And there's no way to fix this dog. Your mom won't hear of It.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. Isn't there a way to. So wait a minute.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or the dog.

[Will Sasso]

Do you still. Do they still. Would they still be able to.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't think they. Not if you knew them.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not like a vasectomy. Apparently.

[Will Sasso]

It's like mean to do to a dog. Like later on it hurts more or whatever. But. Well, hey, the dog's coming on you. Someone. Something's got a. Something's got a break.

[Stavros Halkias]

Something's got to give.

[Will Sasso]

Something's got to give. You know, he seems very. He seems very kind about it, even though it's heavy. He doesn't even sound too upset. I mean, I know he's upset.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Will Sasso]

And he's like you said, using some pretty rough language to describe it to cute little doggies doing.

[Stavros Halkias]

But. So look, man, create a little dog for him to. Out of stuff out of your shirt and a stuffed animal. You'll be fine, bro. Put it next to you. It sounds like he's coming on your chest while you're drinking coffee.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. What are you doing? Why are you lying down?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

Like just. I'm sorry. You're gonna have to be alert. You just have to be on your. When you go to your mom's.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know you thought you that was over for you, but it's not. Yeah, hello, it is Ryan. And I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on jumbaccasino.com I looked over the person sitting next to me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere. So sign up [e-mail] to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba Casino.

[Caller]

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[Will Sasso]

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[Caller]

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[Stavros Halkias]

What do you got El, do you got something nice for us to go out on here? What's going on, Toppers?

[Caller]

Long time listener. Just calling in, hearing all these people talk about the relationship problems and thought I'd ask what your opinion is on someone who's 28 years old and has only ever been in a relationship with one woman. And it wasn't even dating. Like. Like, we met each other and then within a week or two, we were pretty serious. We dated for a while, but after we broke up, she was married for. She got married within, like, whoa, six months of us breaking up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn.

[Caller]

So, I don't know. Long story short, I'm 28 and don't really know how to get into the dating scene. So. I hear you talk to these other people and see if we could get a unique situation in here. Have a great day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Will Sasso]

Sounds a little shy. That's okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, Sounds like a shy guy.

[Will Sasso]

Just a shy guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Again, not really the kind of fun ones we like to go out on. Eldest, you maybe would have wanted to flip the order of these.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's a Chihuahua nutting on a guy's chest a lot funnier than this guy who just needs real cogent advice.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

For us to provide this poor man who's over.

[Will Sasso]

There's no trauma, bonding or doggy coming.

[Stavros Halkias]

This one, 28. One relationship. That's not so bad, bro. It's really not a big deal at all. I mean, I've only been in, like. I don't know, I guess like three real relate. Three or four real relationships and one, like two very official official relationships. Whatever. Now, are you. Is that the only girl you fucked? That's a little different, maybe.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah, I think he would have mentioned that.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, you're right.

[Will Sasso]

It seems like he's. That's why I say I believe this is just a person.

[Stavros Halkias]

Shy guy here you're going at your.

[Will Sasso]

Own pace, and that's okay. You'll find it. You're still young. Yeah, you are. You know, like, also, he seems very daunted by dating, for sure. And just get online, do the online dating. There's lots of people. And just take your practice talking.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, let's talk. That is what it is, is like because again, I. We've, you know, me and Eldest were fucking losers for much of our lives. You could argue. Some might argue we still are, despite the success. But there I know this feeling of being like, maybe I wasn't 28, but I was like, you know, 21, 22. Like, where? Or. And then even after that, when I'm like, 23. I got out of my first relationship in college, but before that, I was, like, fucking scared. And I could, like, talk and I could do everything until it got romantic, and then I got scared.

[Will Sasso]

Right. I was like that when I was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Sasso]

In my early 20s for sure. I was like, not. I was just very. Yeah, I was very. I was very timid when it came to. And, you know, and that might be interesting because it's like you're talking about being like, you're a kid, your class clown. Totally. Like, you don't have to be completely adept at everything just because your. Your. Your peers are. And it's okay to go at your own pace.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. And that hopefully that makes you feel better because it's like, yeah, both of us were probably, like, very outgoing, boisterous people that no one might have even assumed that was an issue. I remember friends of mine were confused where I was like. Cause I was never shy until it was a girl I liked. And then I was the shyest guy of all time. And all that was was being scared of rejection. That's really what it boils down to. And maybe you're in that situation too. Maybe that's why you hit it off with a girl and you were immediately like, great. I'm dating her because I found one woman that makes me feel comfortable. Well said, you know, and so just, brother, it ain't. There's no secret here. There's, you know, the general advice we give everybody. If you're feeling bad about yourself, just try and make a little. Some improvements. Not even for, you know, the shallow reasons, but because whatever you do to. When you feel like you're making progress, you feel more confident in general. So whatever that is, you know, dressing better, losing weight, exercising, you know, whatever. Whatever the fuck you want to do, maybe that'll help. But even if you don't do any of that shit, just start taking swings, bro. Start. Start failing. Take some losses, and then eventually you will fucking win. Where you going? You gotta piss. I'm so clearly wrapping up the episode. But no go piss. I mean, hilarious stuff. I love Eldest Man.

[Will Sasso]

You know, there's a good chance that this. That this caller would maybe needed advice. At which point they called in. But seeing these first three or four calls is now going. I got no problems.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. He's trying to.

[Will Sasso]

I'm just a guy who's a little bit. A little bit slow to the game. Not a big deal at all. I agree with everything you're saying.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, dude, just fuck, take you should make it your goal to get rejected because then you will accidentally someone will be into you. You gotta free yourself of the worry of getting rejected. That's all it is. And that's like the fear of like. I remember again being young and being scared of women who probably were also nervous. And it's just like they're just, they're other. They're just fucking people, man. And when you're a fucking. No pussy getting loser, it doesn't feel that way.

[Will Sasso]

It can be fun. It can be fun. Throwing a few rejections in a row and going, hey, this ain't that big a deal. I can take it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Will Sasso]

And you do learn a lot about yourself. What you know, and it's not supposed to work out with everybody.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Will Sasso]

You know, that's the fun thing about dating is you should be able to, you know, see someone, meet them, whatever, have a date and, and realize I don't really.

[Stavros Halkias]

This would be a nightmare.

[Will Sasso]

Yeah. I'm not really into this person or they're not really into me. And, and be able to understand that because you've had the experience to go. Not everyone's for me. Certainly I'm not going to be for everybody. You don't have to take it personally, but at 28 years of age, I don't think you're. I don't think. And the fact that he mentions his age, I think is something that's interesting. And that's why. Yeah. Stavi and I both saying, oh yeah, here's where we were in our early 20s. Not far off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Will Sasso]

You're on your own. You're on your own schedule. It's not a big.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you'll be fine, little buddy. Get out there. Try and. Try and get sucked off a couple times. It'll eventually work for you. This, I gotta say, this cold brew and the Banh Mi I had right before really running through me. So we gotta end this one quick. Will, thank you for fucking being on. I gotta hit that bathroom. Eldest just hit within seconds. So please stick around. You know, if you got stuff to do. Dude, I won't take it personally if you leave, but I gotta hit that bathroom. See you guys. Talk to you next time.

[Caller]

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[Will Sasso]

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See terms and conditions 18/ hey there ritual. Here to give a big shout out to you for making it through the hectic holiday season. The magic of those family moments that was you. And now there's new milestones to Prep for in 2025 this new year. Check Clean Quality Pregnancy Nutrient Support off your to do list with Ritual. We've done the research to create science backed pregnancy support like our prenatal multivitamin, natalcholine and fertility support. All designed to be taken alongside each other. But don't just take our word for it. They're also third party tested for microbes and heavy metals and clean label projects certified. So whether you're trying, thinking about trying, or already there, we don't have to tell you that prioritizing yourself can be the hardest part. That's why we're helping you get started today with 30% off a three month supply for a limited [e-mail] podcast. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Hey there Ritual. Here to give a big shout out to you for making it through the hectic holiday season. The magic of those family moments that was you. And now there's new milestones to Prep for in 2025 this new year. Check Clean Quality Pregnancy Nutrient Support off your to do list with Ritual. We've done the research to create science backed pregnancy support like our prenatal multivitamin, natalcholine and fertility support. All designed to be taken alongside each other. But don't just take our word for it. They're also third party tested for microbes and heavy metals and clean label projects certified. So whether you're trying, thinking about trying or already there, we don't have to tell you that prioritizing yourself can be the hardest part. That's why we're helping you get started today with 30% off a three month supply for a limited [e-mail] podcast. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.