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Ryan Seacrest
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Stavi
Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 809-04-1800 Stop.
Eldis
Call in.
Stavi
We'll solve your problems. I really should. Yeah. 904, right?
Unknown
I've never heard of one 800 number that has an area code in front of it.
Stavi
What the 904-800 stuff?
Unknown
Okay.
I should get a producer hat that has the number on my head.
Stavi
You usually have it on the screen, but yeah. Have we done hundreds of this?
Unknown
What's this? Episode 3? How do you not have the most important phone number in your life memorized?
Stavi
It's up. It's somewhere up there and it's like four of the digits are minor and.
Eldis
The other three are 800 1, 600 settings.
Stavi
7, 4, 4 Stav 22, 25. Call in.
Eldis
What numbers do you have memorized?
Stavi
I Have a number that doesn't exist anymore.
Unknown
Wings to go.
Stavi
Yeah. I probably used to have, like, the local Domino's.
Unknown
I had Domino's and Pizza Hut. Yeah. Domino's is 215860.
Stavi
Wow.
Unknown
6425, something like that.
Eldis
Would, you know. Do you know, have your mom's number memorized?
Stavi
I have my mom's number memorized.
Unknown
Yeah. Of course.
Stavi
Because it was from before. Because we're old enough there's landmine or.
Unknown
Cell phone as well.
Stavi
Yeah, of course.
Eldis
There was a time for, like. Probably like the first. I don't know, three years that I had, like, a flip phone. This is like, maybe like 2005, 2006. I didn't put any numbers on my phone.
Stavi
Wow.
Eldis
I was that paranoid. I just remembered everybody.
Stavi
Paranoid?
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
You thought they were tracking you.
Eldis
I don't know why. I just didn't put any numbers on my phone in case I lost it.
Stavi
Paranoid.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
I mean, this is when you were.
Unknown
I don't want the government to know I called my mom for money.
Stavi
Yeah. Yeah. This is cocaine and hookers, or what are we talking?
Eldis
I mean, there was.
Stavi
Is that what you were afraid of.
Eldis
During the general season?
Stavi
What were you. Yeah. What. But what are you paranoid about?
Eldis
I don't know. I just never wanted to put numbers in my phone. I just always wanted to keep it clean. So I memorized everybody's number.
Stavi
I respect that, though. I do. Because you were basically treating it like a landline treated like a burner in.
Eldis
Case I ever had a. Ditch it.
Unknown
So you have a book of numbers. Everything was up here.
Eldis
Trying to shake a tail in Chinatown.
Stavi
You know what I mean?
Unknown
Snaps it in.
Stavi
Was there ever. What was the most mis. Like, what was the most. You felt like you were in trouble? Did you ever feel like you had to, like, leave or. Do you ever, like, did you ever have. You know what I'm saying?
Eldis
No.
Stavi
Was there ever any worry?
Eldis
Yeah, there was. There was times where I thought they were coming through the. Coming up the steps, through the door.
Stavi
But it was fabrication. You were imagining it.
Eldis
Complete imagination.
Stavi
So you were never really in much trouble. You never got yourself.
Unknown
He's an end user. He's not moving weight.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Owed money. You never had any other, you know.
Eldis
No, Nobody that was looking to hurt me or anything like that.
Stavi
Nice.
Eldis
It's always a gentleman's agreement.
Unknown
A couple of friends I took advantage of. Ye.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
They knew where to find me.
Stavi
Yeah. Yeah.
Eldis
No hard feelings?
Stavi
I have. Yeah. I just have, like, Basically, my mom, my dad, my landline. I have Eldis's number memorized, actually, because he also. It's like we got self. You know, we had. In the flip phone era. You've had the same number since we were kids, right?
Unknown
Sure. So, like, when you were, like, dialing that from your house or whatever, you had to know that.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah. Or just like, in the, like, literal Motorola razor.
Unknown
Sure.
Stavi
Like.
Unknown
Yeah, I have that same. My same group of high school friends. I can still rattle off most of this.
Stavi
I know they're. Yeah. So. But. Yeah, nothing, you know, nothing. Nothing other than that. Nothing. Crazy.
Eldis
Yeah. About the same brother. Mom, I could tell you the number for Pudges in Blue Bell.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
Cheesesteak place. Oh, I can rattle that off.
Stavi
What's the order? What'd you get on the cheesesteak?
Eldis
What would I do in a cheese. I'm a cheesesteak hoagie man. Thanks for asking, Stavi.
Stavi
Of course.
Eldis
And thanks for having us, by the way.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah. Are you G Boys are back. We had to start talking about how.
Unknown
I'm immediately into hoagies.
Stavi
Into hoagies, Drugs, phone numbers and handles.
Eldis
Back to drugs, phone numbers and ho.
Stavi
And, you know, thank. Yeah. And you guys, let's. Let's plug stuff and then we'll get into the cheesesteak discussion. Okay. So you have. But, you know, we got the AR Garage boys here. They have a coming out. But most of the people listen to this. It will already be out. We'll have a link to it. If you're listening to this on release day, they have a tour special.
Eldis
Yeah, Special.
Stavi
Yes.
Eldis
Something different, something new. So we. We did nine shows.
Unknown
Stand up.
Stavi
Nice, beautiful spin.
Eldis
It's just Kevin and I walking around.
Unknown
Yard sales trying to Gary Vee people out of money.
Stavi
Is this a steak? No, it's a broth you make with the bone in the middle of the steak. They're boiling it up. You're getting a delic. Beautiful flavor. It's a FU. It's the FU of stand up.
Unknown
So we did. We did Route 66 straight through on a bus from Chicago to LA. Yeah, it was like. I'm forgetting the number. I think like 12 shows and 11.
Eldis
Shows in 12 days.
Unknown
Nine shows in 12 days. And we. We shot kind of like a special in each one because at the end of the AYG shows, we do. We play AYG with the crowd and they get to ask their questions. So it's like, you know, a little bit from each city and then a lot of, like, the bus antics and stuff like that. We stop at like the Oklahoma State Fair and we go to like dive bar. It's like the real true American dirtbag road trip we tried to. Tried to capture.
Stavi
That's. I love that. I mean, I'm pumped because we are. We're essentially doing that.
Unknown
Ah, beat them to it.
Stavi
But a lot. You know, maybe four times the dates. You know, that kind of thing. For two months, not two weeks. You know, still humble, guys over here.
Eldis
It was a three city tour.
Unknown
They were the twin cities too.
Eldis
It's just in Manhattan, Staten Island, Newark.
Unknown
Yeah.
Eldis
Did the Upper west side.
Unknown
The Village Bananas.
Eldis
Stopped at Harlem, went to Sylvia's.
Unknown
No. So, yeah, it's on our YouTube channel. It's premiering February 25th. You know, go check it out. It's a lot of fun.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
Okay. And so let's. What was the best let's. Since we started, Hoagie style.
Unknown
Sure.
Stavi
What's the best bite of the tour?
Unknown
Whoa.
Eldis
Great question.
Stavi
Best bite of the tour, boys.
Unknown
Brought to you by Domino's.
Eldis
Avoid the noid, everybody.
Stavi
I'm annoyed.
Unknown
Wow. Best bite of the tour.
Eldis
Now you're using that 66 superfluously.
Stavi
What do you mean?
Eldis
You don't mean actual like the best food that we had on the tour? I mean, what's the best nugget from the.
Stavi
No, no.
Unknown
I think literally.
Stavi
Oprah.
Unknown
What the.
Eldis
I thought you were being real smart. Like, what's the best bite from the.
Unknown
No, he. He means food.
Stavi
I mean food. You mean. You mean like. Like I'm about to throw to a clip of your YouTube special.
Eldis
I hear you're a fat piece of shit.
Stavi
I hear Tom Cassidy was called with a prostitute in Oklahoma. Let's check it out more.
Eldis
I thought that was real sharp.
Stavi
Thanks, man.
Unknown
There's a lot of good food. Shout out to Professor Pizza in Chicago. We started off with that. That was. That was fantastic.
Eldis
Home run of at night.
Stavi
We went to a nice pie.
Unknown
Yeah, he. He treats the comics right. The big Texan Steakhouse, Texas. That's a good. They do. We didn't do it, but they have like a 72 ounce plus like a. It's like one of those challenges.
Stavi
He didn't do it.
Eldis
Nah.
Unknown
So, dude, It's a lot.
Stavi
72 ounces.
Eldis
So we filmed this kid doing it and he was there. Just a random.
Unknown
Just a guy who looked like us.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
Hey, say you're fully for this.
Stavi
Yeah, we talked to him after shot from the back. And you like reshot Foley eating a couple bites. Just tight close Ups of Foley's face. Like, Foley did it. And the guy, the guy raising his.
Unknown
Hands from the back says, dramatic reenactment.
Eldis
It's an Asian guy. No, it's funny because I. We saw him doing it and he got up there and I'm like, I wonder like, who he's here with. Like, like, how is this? I was fascinated by, by the guy. I mean, he's my brother. He's my Bruce Jenner. You know what I mean?
Stavi
You're going to transition into him.
Eldis
And then we talk to him after and he's like, yeah, I'm on vacation. By himself. By himself. And we're like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm doing this. And then tomorrow I'm driving to New Mexico and I'm going on a hot air balloon.
Unknown
The wildest vacation.
Stavi
Okay.
Unknown
He threw up in public and then went in a hot air balloon. And that's what he did with his vacation.
Eldis
He was cool as.
Stavi
So this is a guy who's I'm gonna guess, 5, 9, 440 pounds.
Eldis
He wasn't that big.
Unknown
It wasn't that. He was bigger. He was. Between us, he was, he was, you.
Stavi
Know, he was a gentleman's 290.
Unknown
He was spry though. He walked like 2:50.
Stavi
Yeah. All right, all right. Respect.
Eldis
Nice guy. Good guy.
Unknown
Good guy. It was kind of funny then, like, I think it was in Albuquerque. Was like the next night we were in emerald of Texas and Albuquerque. And he's like, I'm going to Albuquerque tomorrow. We were there the same day. There's this huge hot air balloon festival there like once a year. And that's what this is.
Stavi
The most whimsical fat guy of all time. He's like, I like huge cuts of meat and I like riding. I like overlooking a sunset.
Unknown
Beautiful sunset, slow moving vehicles.
Stavi
Solo. Where was he from? I'm sorry, did he say he was.
Unknown
From, like, nowhere close? Yeah, he was like a five hour drive to Amarillo to the big. It's like the big Texas thing. I was like a famous thing.
Stavi
Okay.
Unknown
It's like right at like the halfway point. It's like an old. Looks like an old school. Interesting, you know, steal all their ideas.
Stavi
That sounds awesome.
Eldis
You two in a hot air balloon.
Unknown
That would be great.
Eldis
I would never buy.
Stavi
I want no parts of a high. Dude.
Eldis
I saw one video where this thing went up and they were just up there cooking. Like they were hanging over the sides, just burning.
Stavi
Oh, yeah, because you're. It's. I. You don't even Think about the temperature.
Eldis
Yeah. No. Yes. That thing, Cat, that thing goes, you're done. It's a wicker.
Stavi
It's got to be kind of hot, right?
Unknown
That's got to be flame proof, though. No, they don't spray that with some.
Stavi
But the 10.
Eldis
This one wasn't.
Unknown
Yeah. You would assume, I don't know these.
Eldis
People were up there cooking. Just because you can't. We can jump fucking thousand feet up. Fuck that.
Stavi
Yeah. I want nothing to do with that. Yeah.
Unknown
I don't know.
Stavi
It's fucking insane.
Eldis
Gliders. I wouldn't get into a glider.
Stavi
Glider. Yeah.
Unknown
You hear that? Big gliding industry out there. You don't get the big guy.
Stavi
That'S there, eat 72 ounces of steak. It's like the glider company that can support Foley, they win. You know what I mean?
Eldis
We told you the helicopter, right. This was a couple years ago. We wanted to, we, we. We were doing like our first sold out show, I think in Philly. In Philly.
Unknown
And as a bit being that we are significantly bad with money, it was going to be we're going to take the whole check and rent a helicopter and fly from New York to Philadelphia, but only have enough money to go the one way and then have to take like the bus back.
Eldis
That was talking numbers on the phone.
Unknown
And we're calm, calling everybody. I called like 15 helicopter places and they're like, how. I'm like, we got a bigger guy. They're like, no worries how big? We. And he's got a big personality.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unknown
And you start throwing numbers around. It's like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. And then I got one guy, went straight to his cell. You could hear him like in the helicopter. It's like. And he's like, how. I'm like, you got a bigger guy? And like, you know. And he's like, how big? And I told him, he's like, nah, that's no worries. I'm like, I don't think.
Stavi
I don't like the guy.
Unknown
I'm not rolling with you.
Stavi
The guy's in a helicopter answering the phone like this.
Eldis
Oh, yeah, whatever.
Stavi
It. Tell him not to have breakfast. We'll be okay.
Unknown
Lay off the water for 24 hours.
Eldis
I'll get that fat bastard in. Put them down wherever you want.
Stavi
Folks.
Unknown
This episode of Stavi's World is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah, you know, we're right now on a whirlwind tour. It's hard to find exactly what we need sometimes. I got five other grown men with me, sometimes it's just me and eldis. Just the two fellas. That's a breeze. Whatever you're looking for, booking.com's got it. Are you trying to house grown men? Too many of them. Maybe somebody sleeping on the couch. Whatever. Are you trying to have a bachelor party, get the boys out, pool? Maybe you're out for a little romantic weekend getaway with your wife. Maybe you gambled away. Maybe you pawned off your ring and gambled. Gambled away the money and then you picked up a couple extra shifts, you got it back from the pawn shop and now you want to make it up to the romantic getaway right on the beach. Convenient, beautiful museum. She's an art fiend. It's close by. Booking.com's got it for you. Okay? Whatever you're looking for, booking.com's got it. We're booking some of our hotels, some of our stays. We're doing that through booking.com. most of the time we're on the bus, but sometimes we got to get off that bus. We're tired of, you know, being in each other's funk. We need little relaxing time at a beautiful stay with whatever we're looking for, booking.com has got it for you.
Stavi
Be like me and eldest road dogs. Whether you're a dirty road dog like.
Unknown
Me and Eldis or just out for a nice little vacay.
Stavi
Maybe you're.
Unknown
Maybe you're also traveling for work. No matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stays. That's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking dot com. Booking. Yeah.
Stavi
So the best. But you didn't have that steak, though.
Unknown
We didn't do. We had a steak there. We didn't eat there. We just didn't do the.
Stavi
And what cuts are we talking?
Unknown
I think I did probably, you know, we probably. I forget exactly. I'm a filet man when I'm there.
Stavi
Filet man? Yeah.
Eldis
I mean, I like a ribeye. I like a chart on the outside.
Unknown
I think when we go out together, we'll do the porter. If there's like five of us, you do the porterhouse for five. Like a gentleman. That's.
Stavi
By the way, gentlemen, can I shout.
Eldis
Out Christos here in Astoria?
Stavi
Great steakhouse.
Eldis
Yeah, dude, I've been there probably five times. I was just there last week with my cousin, man. They knock it out of the park.
Stavi
I love.
Eldis
I'm about an old school joint.
Stavi
It's great. Greatos. It's all. It's In Astoria. It's a night. We walk there sometimes. That's like, our go to when we have, like, no disrespect to Christos, but, like, when we have something that's, like, just under. Humongous accomplishment.
Eldis
Sure.
Stavi
It's your bill.
Unknown
Celebration. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eldis
It's a neighborhood.
Stavi
It's a neighborhood. Neighborhood steakhouse. Like, you know, we've earned it. It's not, you know, it's not cheap, but it's not as pricey.
Unknown
Manhattan.
Eldis
They got the lobster tank in the front, too. That's always.
Stavi
Love the lobster tank. Love. And you know what? I'll say, great calamari.
Eldis
Great calamari.
Unknown
I'm over calamari. Done with it. He's just, we. You know, you do it too much. It's like, it is what it is. You're never wild by it. Everywhere I've ever been, that's like, if it's. I get it. And it's like, like, all right, that.
Stavi
Might be part of the problem, because you're having it at pizza restaurants. You're getting like, also, I have it.
Unknown
Every time we're out. We get it every time we're out for the most part.
Eldis
Yeah. So why would we stop?
Unknown
I said I'm done. I'm over it.
Eldis
I don't want big calamari coming after me.
Unknown
I think this might be the end of the podcast.
Stavi
This conversation keeps going, so no more calamari. That's it. So what do you think? What do you think is going to take its place as your number one appetizer?
Unknown
Cheesesteak egg rolls. Oh, my God. It's not even close.
Eldis
I'll give.
Unknown
Man, they're so good, but they burn your mouth.
Eldis
Everything's egg roll wrapper.
Stavi
Yeah. Yeah, I've had. I've had one.
Unknown
Yeah, but, like, buffalo chicken egg roll.
Stavi
Yes. I'm familiar with the egg roll. I don't think egg roll fusions.
Unknown
You should be more excited then.
Eldis
Have you ever had the pizza egg roll at a Chinese restaurant? A Chinese takeout spot?
Stavi
I actually have not.
Eldis
Buddy, do yourself.
Stavi
I have not. I have not.
Unknown
I'll just get on it.
Stavi
Where. And this is Philly's getting. Where are you getting. Where are you getting these from?
Eldis
Just a regular. You'll see it down at the bottom of the appetizer. Any regular Chinese app. I've said this before.
Stavi
I don't think that's true.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
I don't think if you go to a rant. I think most Chinese places will not have pizza egg rolls.
Unknown
This is like the presidential debate. This is left first, right, right here.
Stavi
Eldest, pull up pizza rolls. Just look up Chinese restaurant near me.
Unknown
Okay, let's get.
Stavi
You know what? Let's pick. Let's pick a random city.
Unknown
Let's go random. Let's go Chicago.
Eldis
It's got to be a major city, Chicago. None of that small market bullshit.
Stavi
Austin, Chinese restaurant.
Eldis
Let's pull up Orlando or something like that.
Unknown
Take out.
Eldis
How about Detroit?
Stavi
Okay, no, give me.
Unknown
I think you're best in Boston.
Stavi
This is. He knows what he's doing, though, because he knows this is number one Chinese.
Eldis
Okay. Dynasty.
Stavi
It has a 3.7. That's right when Foley's looking for. None of us has been there. We know nothing about this. Let's go to the menu.
Eldis
Hold on, hold on.
Unknown
That's great.
Stavi
Let's go. Okay. Oh, little egg roll. Egg roll, shrimp. Egg roll. Fried one time. I don't see fried Chinese donut. No pizza, bro.
Eldis
Do they do.
Stavi
I'll give you. I'll give you three. Three cracks at it.
Unknown
See if you can get a stromboli.
Eldis
Now, it's got to be a place to fry chicken and fries.
Unknown
Wait, side order, side steamed, right? Nah, it's not going to be there. Healthy options. Check out the options. They.
Stavi
They do. It's just steamed. Okay, okay.
Unknown
All right, so egg foo young.
Eldis
It would have been in the appetizer thing.
Stavi
Yeah. Okay, so I will give you three cracks at it. It doesn't have to be Detroit. You can stick with Detroit. We can go sunshine.
Unknown
He jumps cities, dude. I think it's an east coast thing.
Eldis
Give me trick.
Unknown
I like that.
Stavi
Okay.
Eldis
All right. You have three options.
Stavi
Golden Dragon Chinese restaurant. Okay. Golden.
Eldis
Golden Dragon all day.
Stavi
All right, let's.
Eldis
My spot. Come on, give it to me.
Stavi
That's got no website. But they have menu.
Unknown
Oh, it's not gonna be on the wall, though. That's no good. You need a website.
Eldis
There's no menu. Oh, no.
Stavi
You see it keep going down. I. I don't think this is.
Unknown
That's not a complete.
Stavi
Okay, sorry, Foley.
Unknown
You guys will go for food King Chinese.
Stavi
Oh, man, this place is really looking. This is the class, folks. Whatever you're imagining, it's correct. Oh, this is investigative journalism. Eldest, come on.
Eldis
What's that say?
Unknown
Wait. Thank you for your patronage.
Stavi
Oh, he's got to open it. A new tab in zoom. I don't know.
Unknown
I don't think that's grainy.
Stavi
Get the FBI on the liney, Foley. Sorry, man, we can't. Folks, this is A pretty visual episode, but it's worth it. This investigative journal.
Eldis
Watch that out. We gotta go back all this.
Unknown
Look.
Stavi
That's a wash. That doesn't count. We'll stay in Trenton. We'll stay in Trenton and we will go. Keep going.
Unknown
Food King Chinese.
Stavi
Food king Chinese 4.1.
Unknown
That's the same. It's the same. Those are generic.
Stavi
Very similar.
Unknown
Yeah.
Stavi
Go to the website. This King Chinese I love.
Eldis
I got a bar, a scan thing. They're not gonna menu.
Unknown
You might.
Eldis
Damn.
Stavi
American specialties. That's a good sign. Control F. Pizza.
Eldis
So they have a half fried chicken. They have the half fries are pretty good.
Stavi
Pizza. There you go.
Unknown
85 ain't bad either.
Stavi
They also have free fry. Yeah. Fry. Roast pork, egg roll. Well, that's the classic stroll. Wow. Okay. I take that. Stand corrected. Food King Chinese restaurant in Trent, New Jersey. Okay. One for. We're one for two now.
Unknown
Pretty good.
Stavi
It's two out of three though. What I got random city.
Unknown
Let's take it to Baltimore. Baltimore.
Eldis
Okay. There you go. I like it.
Stavi
You're going to lose this, man. Because I. I've been ordering Chinese food. Peter Chang's too. Nice.
Unknown
No way. We get China House.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
Oh, yeah. That's my.
Stavi
Go to the website.
Eldis
China House.
Stavi
Yeah, maybe. Maybe I'm just a classier guy than you.
Unknown
Maybe it doesn't even come on your radar. I don't even have rolls though. Oh, there they do a little Chef specials. Appetizer.
Stavi
Appetizer. Roast pork, shrimp. Shanghai fried donut. I don't see it. No, come on, look, I'll give it to you, man.
Unknown
No, they'll give it this.
Eldis
Wait. Appetizer combo.
Stavi
No.
Eldis
Pizza roll right there.
Unknown
Are you serious?
Eldis
Oh, yeah.
Unknown
He's lying.
Stavi
Ah, you.
Unknown
We all kind of just took your word for it.
Eldis
It's under egg foo young.
Unknown
Okay.
Stavi
All right. Respect.
Eldis
But it exists. Europe.
Stavi
So. Okay, we got to this because we were talking to me. The idea that you would replace calamari with a cheesesteak egg. Cheesesteak egg roll.
Unknown
No. It's like.
Stavi
It's not the same thing.
Eldis
That's crazy. Crazy talk.
Stavi
That's.
Unknown
We're done Fresh.
I'm a little crazy of a guy.
Eldis
I don't get to a place. Trust me.
Unknown
First of all, you're talking pizza rolls from a Chinese spot and you're breaking my stones.
Stavi
No, no, he. But he's. Foley's not saying. We have to agree though, that calamari is not on the same level.
Unknown
First of all, they're not on the Same menu.
Stavi
It's a higher end.
Unknown
They don't exist in the same place. I'm not going to Peter Luger's. Maybe.
Stavi
Yeah, maybe Cheesecake Factory is the only menu.
Unknown
Sure. Whether they both exist together. It's a very Philadelphia thing.
Stavi
Are you trying to turn your life around? Because you're in. You're.
Unknown
I have.
Stavi
You have.
Unknown
Let's. I have.
Stavi
You have.
Unknown
Well, you know, about two months off the ciggies.
Stavi
That's huge. Both of us.
Unknown
Two weeks off the signal. Two months off the ciggies.
Stavi
Okay.
Unknown
I've been eating pretty good for about a week.
Stavi
A week?
Unknown
Really?
Stavi
Yeah. What happened?
Unknown
Really? Trying to turn around with.
Stavi
You're podcasting through adversity right now.
Unknown
I was in the hospital yesterday.
Stavi
I mean, that's crazy. I didn't even know about this. A mutual friend of ours, like, oh, yeah, Kevin had kidney or whatever. What was it?
Unknown
Liver problem?
Stavi
Liver problems. And I was like, he's coming here in 20 minutes. And I was like, what? And you texted me yesterday. No mention of the hospital.
Unknown
I was in the hospital. We got a lot of dates, dude. For the promo tour. Yeah.
Eldis
No. Oh, my 66 gangsters and getting a couch jammed up here.
Unknown
The kids. Rome has fallen. The kids are taking. Ls go watch the special. Pause this episode and go watch it right now. Netflix said no. Hulu didn't answer. Oh, check it out.
Eldis
I'll say this, though.
Unknown
Suck my dick, everybody.
Eldis
Pizza egg rolls.
Stavi
Perry went to Paramount Plus's spam folder.
Unknown
They blocked us.
Stavi
What are you talking about?
Eldis
We got a bidding war with tubies. Shout out to Doobie.
Stavi
Tuby's a great service. Service.
Eldis
He is.
Unknown
He.
Eldis
He is tough on the inside, though, because he didn't. I didn't know about it until he was on his way to that.
Unknown
It was fear. I didn't want to. I didn't want to talk about it out loud.
Eldis
Last week, I called him and I was crying because I had a fever.
Unknown
I was like, I literally. I have to talk to him. Like, he's like, you know, I'm like, are you crying right now? Like, I don't need this. I haven't. I think I have internal bleeding. So I'm like.
Stavi
He's like, I did. Sorry, man.
Unknown
I'm like, shut up.
Stavi
Well, I will say there is something to. When you're wildly unhealthy.
Unknown
Are you talking about here and everyone in the room? Of course.
Stavi
Everyone in the room.
Unknown
We look like hungry dude. These couches are tough.
Stavi
Looks really. Sorry.
Unknown
Like hungry, Hungry hippos.
Eldis
This is. This is the one pod with the no table that I'm actually comfortable in.
Stavi
I love that.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
Right.
Eldis
I lean into this.
Stavi
We'll.
Eldis
We'll explain the couch.
Stavi
Thank you, man. When we. We are.
Unknown
We.
Stavi
We're working on some upgrades potentially, who knows. But are.
Eldis
That's not your. My fault I'm a fat.
Stavi
Yeah, no, no.
Unknown
It's just a studio. It could be obesity.
Stavi
Well, my point was that I know what that's like though, because it's like anytime you're sick, you're like, well, I could die. I have earned an early death.
Unknown
You start thinking. You start questioning every. I'm like, why would I think cigarettes were cool? Why is my personality drinking?
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
Yeah. Stuff. It started. So I had a pretty bad fall. Bad fall down a flight of stairs a couple weeks ago.
Eldis
Push.
Stavi
Interesting.
Unknown
My wife tripped me.
Eldis
That's what happens when you order the calamari. Uncle Hank gets angry.
Unknown
He said he's wrapping up a trip wire. Just cuts to him. That'll peach a kippy.
Stavi
Okay.
Unknown
New pair of socks. Got me on a. On a fresh pair of socks. On a. On a. On a steep, wooden kind of curved staircase. Coming from an attic like already a.
Stavi
Fat man's not a good place.
Unknown
Not a good place to be.
Stavi
When you have. If you're wearing fucking, you know, those grippy toe hiking shoes. That would still be a hard staircase.
Unknown
Go down on an angle. Dude.
Stavi
Rock climbing shoes. I imagine it's the. You can be.
Eldis
There's certain. There's certain stairs now that I won't even go out. Have you been to KGB Bar down in the east?
Stavi
Sure. Sure.
Eldis
I never have and I never will.
Unknown
That's a flight of stairs that leads to a flight.
Stavi
There's a lot of stairs.
Eldis
Unless. Unless that's the stairway to heaven, there's.
Stavi
No way it very well could be Hank.
Eldis
You fall down that you're, um.
Stavi
So you fall and you're just fucked up.
Unknown
No. So I fell. Scariest part of the fall was I fell and I hit the light switch on the way down. So I landed in complete darkness.
Stavi
And you're like. I'm blind.
Unknown
Thought it shut down.
Eldis
You're mine now, Ryan.
Stavi
Holy shit.
Unknown
Paralyzed.
Stavi
Like you said you were fucking dying.
Unknown
I thought I was dead.
Stavi
Which by the way, way is the way. Like that's the same. What you're describing is of. Is a medical problem. My 94 grand year old grandmother has a big fall from the stairs. Is like not a relatively young man's. No, I think about that all the time.
Unknown
I should be like, you know, I. I should be pretty spry. I'm 38. Like, you know, that shouldn't take me.
Stavi
Stairs aren't the enemy. Yeah, yeah, they really shouldn't.
Eldis
I stopped going out when it's snowing. That, like a day or two after it snows. No, no, no. That salt melts with, uh. Oh, that's how they get you. I gotta make sure the Uber drops me off in a driveway. I'm not walking between cars.
Unknown
Pull up on a sidewalk.
Eldis
Keith stepping on black ice and fucking going out. I can feel that wrist pain if you cracked it.
Unknown
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Stavi
I.
Unknown
Okay, we just left Queens. I left my fucking keys. But they have a beautiful slim key holder. I left my keys. I also left my passport. Someone has to mail those things to me. It's not a big deal. We're figuring it out. The good news is not only do I have a great wallet, now you could have a great wallet just like me. And by the way, I was fucking even when I said, ridge, why did you break my heart and stop sponsoring me?
Eldis
Me?
Unknown
I still use their backpacks. People sleep on Ridge's backpacks. They have incredible bags. I use my everyday little black backpack. I have a. You know, I have big ass bags, obviously, because we're traveling, but my little everyday backpack is a little Ridge backpack that I love. And I think you'll love too, if you get it. Whatever you want. Whatever you need. A nice slim little wallet. Get the receipts out of there. Get your Blockbuster card, Pare down the essentials. No joke. When I first got a Ridge wallet years ago, it helped me tremendously because I realized all I need to carry is a card, an id. I literally had two cards. My insurance card and id. It makes you realize you don't need a bunch of dumb bullshit. I truly love the Ridge. The Ridge Corporation. I don't know if that's their name. I truly love Ridge, and I think you will too. So what I want you to do for a limited time, our listeners get 10% off at Ridge by using code STAVI S T A V Y at checkout. Just head to ridge.com and use code STAVI S T A V Y and you're all set. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. I'm begging you. I'm on bended knee begging you. Tell them Stavi's World sent you. We love Ridge and we love to have them. So use promo code staviidge.com 10% off and get a sleek little wallet just like me and ld.
Eldis
It's funny how you thought your hell was a dark European kitchen.
Unknown
I was in my in laws house. I'm a big guy over there.
Stavi
And by the way, that's like, I don't know your relationship to your in laws, but it's like if you ever want. If you, you know, if she's never gonna hear the end of. This is what happens when you marry a fat American. It's like he dies at 38 going down the steps.
Unknown
Dude, it's so funny. They're so. There's. They're so shocked at the speed and volume of my consumption. Like dinner and stuff.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unknown
You just like. And like they'll be speaking in German and then you just hear like, Diet Coke. And you're like, that's five diet. My DC's over here, they got me on the radar.
Stavi
Yeah, dude. No, Europe in general, they. They don't drink many beverages.
Unknown
No, they're like a water.
Stavi
They don't pound even water. They're not a pounding. No, it's not a.
Unknown
It's a little more. And I'm like.
Eldis
Plus they'll get an orange juice with lunch, which always throws me off. They ever say I was waiting tables. Every once in a while there'd be a European table. And they come in and it'd be like, they get burgers instead of like, do you have orange juice?
Stavi
Crazy juice is kind of like. So it's like interchangeable with soda. Greek people are like that too.
Eldis
They turn nose up if it ain't fresh squeezed.
Unknown
Yeah, they don't. They don't do that. Concentrate.
Stavi
Sure, sure, sure.
Eldis
It ain't fresh squeezed.
Stavi
Damn, dude. So you're. You're in. In Germany.
Unknown
I'm in Germany. Go down bed. Flying back the next morning. The fly the next morning.
Stavi
How up are you? Do you have bruises?
Unknown
And this is the bruise, dude, it's. It's pretty gnarly.
Stavi
Oh my God, that's.
Unknown
I can send it to you a.
Stavi
J shape on his ass cheeks.
Unknown
Yeah, it's a tough butt.
Stavi
Oh, and the back.
Unknown
Back. Yeah, back. So back.
Stavi
Now you're every dude.
Unknown
Like the crunch, the. The velocity. I had everything hurt, so whatever. So I'm hurting for a week or two from that. And then I throw my back out other because I think I was walking. So everything hurts in my back. I slipped a disc or something.
Stavi
Oh my God.
Unknown
And then I started. I have it right now as I'm telling the story. I started getting a pain like right under my rib cage cage when I walked. And I'm like, oh, it's from me walking crooked and stuff. But then I started walking normal again.
Eldis
Cirrhosis.
Unknown
That's what I thought. Or fatty liver or something. That's like one of those things when you start going. I. I'm like, I'm not gonna Google this. Because that's when it gets. It's the next stage of realness.
Stavi
No, I had. I had like a thing that ended up being like really weird specific food poisoning. But it up my GI tract in a way that like the symptoms were like colon cancer.
Unknown
Like this is that Google.
Stavi
Like, I was like, I was like, I'm going to die. Like, I was like not telling anyone, but I thought I was going to die.
Eldis
But now they have the. I don't know what you guys googled. There's an AI generated thing up top. Sometimes that could be.
Unknown
You are dead.
Stavi
You don't want that, man.
Eldis
Sometimes that could be real soothing. Like, no, don't sweat it, dude. I love that. But yeah, don't sweat it.
Stavi
The solution is buying Ethereum. That's how you solve it.
Unknown
I'm a doge man.
Eldis
People XRP me fatty get you straighten out.
Unknown
It's the only thing he knows about.
Stavi
Oh my God. Damn. And so you go. It's. You have a. Essentially liver pain.
Unknown
Liver pain. And it's after I walk about two and a half minutes, it kicks in, same spot. Like I walk. I walk my dog every morning. And it's the. It hits at the same. Wow. Like the same level. And I'm like, dude, I tried to.
Eldis
Talk you down yesterday. You sent me a rude text message.
Unknown
This dude, it's insane. I literally text him. We're like talking about, you know, you know, things are falling left and right that aren't good. We're dealing with putting out fires, of course, business wise. And he's sick. He has no idea that I'm like, buddy, I'm. We might. I might not make it out of the week. It was. It was. It was also oddly one of those pains where, like, you. You just picture when you do go. They'd be like, why didn't you come in two weeks?
Stavi
Right?
Unknown
You know what I mean? That's what's in my head. I know exactly what I said to you. He goes, I. No need to call me back. Like, with the text. He called me, I missed it. He goes, hey, no need to call me back.
Eldis
All right, hold on. I said, are you okay? Now I want to talk to you. Because whenever there's something up, I always want to talk to him. He doesn't like when I talk to him on the phone.
Unknown
Well, he goes like, I go, I'm on my way to the hospital. He goes, well, now I want to talk to you. I'm like, well, this is weirdly about you. And you're like, so that's insane. I want to talk to you before.
Eldis
You went in case the worst happened.
Unknown
No, I want to talk to you. He makes me go into the hospital. Now he's still there.
Eldis
I gotta get the Instagram codes and the bank information. The show must go on. I don't got keys to the studio.
Unknown
And I go, hey, man, thanks.
Eldis
I got it right here. I go, I was trying to make him feel better. I go, I was thinking maybe it's from the cleanse this weekend.
Unknown
Because I went. That dude. I went. I went down the shore. I'm like, I'm getting the. Out of the city. No boozing, no eating, shitty. I started. I drink.
Stavi
Sure. The Jersey Shore.
Unknown
I drank like three green juices. And I told him. He's like, also like. He puts his stethoscope on and he's.
Eldis
Like, it's the green juices.
Unknown
I'm like, maybe your liver wasn't used to that.
Eldis
Calamari and cheesesteak.
Stavi
Yeah, get you a little calamari.
Eldis
He Responded back he goes, thanks, but guy with no medical experience. Last person I want to talk to head to the hospital.
Unknown
I'm on my way to the hospital. Ah, yeah.
Oh well.
My fat idiot friend, my fatter, dumber friend said it could be the naked juice I have.
Eldis
I told him, don't drink that celery. That's what you get.
Unknown
Dr. Oz is a quack.
Stavi
That's so I've been thinking too.
Eldis
We quit smoking and we're the worst we've ever been.
Unknown
Our bodies are going into shock.
Stavi
That. I mean that definitely is true. Like the. The withdrawal of that is you up. Well, I've been off, but it doesn't mean start smoking.
Unknown
No, I've relatively been off the boost to like a couple days here and like compared to what it is.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
I've been going like a week without drinking, which is like even having a beer is pretty, you know.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
Pretty big. If I'm like out doing spots or whatever. Dinner, you know.
Stavi
Yeah. Yeah. What are you supposed to notice?
Unknown
Not get there and talk to my wife.
Eldis
Let me tell you something. Nothing's worse than dinner without drinking. Going after dinner.
Unknown
I don't do it. I don't do it.
Eldis
And not having a drink.
Stavi
Holy. Nothing boring.
Unknown
You feel morning or something?
Eldis
Have you ever had a raw oysters and an iced tea throw up T.
Unknown
Bone steak and an orange juice.
Stavi
How is it materially different? Unexperienced.
Unknown
Cuz you're not getting up. Sucks.
Stavi
Oh, I see.
Unknown
I see.
Stavi
You're just.
Unknown
You're not an alcoholic.
Stavi
Simply can't do martini.
Unknown
If I like when I go like right now, I'm not drinking a bunch or less. I'm drinking less and like it's severe my. My week severely. I left the city and turned down spots to be like I'm shot. I got to. I got to leave the state and dry out for three days.
Stavi
Respect, dude.
Eldis
You know what I'm saying?
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
You don't like.
Stavi
So not the conversation with. I've been sober for a year now.
Eldis
You have. I didn't know that.
Stavi
Yeah, I. Well, I was.
Unknown
You look great, buddy.
Stavi
Thank you. You know, we're getting there. But I took. It's about to be a year.
Unknown
Right.
Stavi
Because it was just. It was just for my birth. Like I turned 35 and I was like. I was kind of.
Eldis
Kind of.
Stavi
What you're describing was how I felt where I was like these tours, all this. I'm getting up, I'm eating like I'm taking drug. I was more of a, you know, Weed, pills, whatever guy. Not a pill guy. Not a boo.
Unknown
Doctor.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Dr. F. I. I was going to the same pharmacist as Dr. Foley.
Eldis
What was your. What would you put pills. Did you like?
Stavi
I liked Xanax. I like that stuff.
Unknown
Those are dangerous.
Stavi
Yeah, no, they are not any better.
Eldis
But they just put you to sleep.
Stavi
But, yeah, that's what it was. It was like. It's the. The like, constantly up schedule, and you.
Unknown
Rationalize it with like, I'll pop two of these and get a good night.
Stavi
Yeah, exactly. I can't sleep. I'm too. Whatever. I'm too wide.
Unknown
I do it with the booze.
Stavi
Adderall, Same thing. It was like high eyes. And it was basically like, it's the poor man speedball.
Unknown
It's what you. It's what anybody who lives a life of touring has, like, poor man.
Stavi
And then I was like, well, what happens to fat comedians when they take uppers and downers every day? And I was like, oh, I know what happens. So anyway, so and so.
Eldis
Dragging out of a Marriott Thursday.
Stavi
Yeah, I can't. My last hours cannot be of the pool with the. Yeah, dude. I don't want to be at a. I don't want to expire in a Kimpton.
Unknown
You got a couple of bucks?
Stavi
Oh, sorry.
Eldis
You get to make your own waffle there.
Stavi
He's like, excuse me. Why can't I make the waffle? Why am I paying more for someone else to make a waffle haphazardly? They don't even know to put a little. Couple chocolate chips in the middle.
Eldis
Like, I always that up, man. I make a mess when I do that.
Unknown
There's been, you know. You know, there's obviously. We don't live obviously, the healthiest lifestyles.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
But there's been times in the morning where we're like, all right, lobby calls, 10am to the next city, and he's always up. Like, it's because he's so punctual and up early. We get up early, we start sending texts to each other. You, like, outside of the rest of the team, like, let's go. Let's go hit up Recky.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
Like, it's like, yeah, we'll do that. And when. If I don't hear from him and, like, lobby calls, 10, and it's like 9:50, I start texting everybody else like, yeah, they got eyes on the big man, dude. And I start going like, this is the one, dude. Like, I'm gonna have to. We're in a mini dude.
Stavi
Minneapolis.
Unknown
Remember?
Stavi
That literally happened. Oh, you weren't there. It was Ben. Were you there with Ben Acme? Oh, no, no, no, dude, that happened. Oh, it was scary. It was Ben O'Brien, literally. I was like, all right. It was like, we'll get a. Let's, you know, we'll go get dinner or we'll go get lunch. Lunch. And. And I just fell asleep. Like, I was just napping. And, dude, it was like, I had 10 missed calls. I had. The. The hotel phone was called, sure. I just wake up to like, oh, sorry, guys. I fell asleep. And then I was like, jesus Christ. He literally thought I was dead, dude. My worm. My best friends was like, quick, get the maintenance. Does the maintenance man have an axe? The. The. The key card's not working. Someone quick break the door down.
Unknown
Crazy.
Stavi
And it was just. I had fallen asleep, but I was like, oh, my God, dude.
Unknown
Yeah.
Stavi
I have to change how I'm. I have to change it all.
Unknown
It's.
Eldis
But that's great. A year. A year.
Unknown
Yeah. That's really.
Stavi
Years. Whatever. But I like.
Eldis
You know, though I keep forgetting that we, like. I'm not good at, like, looking at, like, things positively or, like, giving myself any credit for anything, you know. Pretty. Pretty poor view of me as a human being. Rightly so.
Stavi
Fully. Yeah.
Eldis
I keep forgetting that we quit smoking.
Unknown
It's wild.
Stavi
That's huge.
Eldis
Yeah, I keep forgetting that.
Stavi
That's big.
Unknown
Yeah.
Eldis
I mean. I mean, you know, to drop in the bucket.
Stavi
And this is how. A couple months, you said?
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. Two. Yeah, two and. Two and change or something.
Eldis
I can tell it. It's different than any other time.
Stavi
Yeah. Nice.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
So you.
Unknown
You.
Stavi
You. No. No cigarettes at your. What? Because we also need to talk about this. Your wed. At your destination. The last.
Unknown
That was before that, there was heaters.
Eldis
29Th, I think, was the last time I had one.
Stavi
That's kind of nice. The last time, you know.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
Your wedding was the last big event. You're smoking cigarettes.
Eldis
Yeah. A couple days later, real gentleman, beautiful. Me and the broad went on a. Went on a drunk. After everybody had had. After everybody had left, when we were just in Hawaii by ourselves, we went out to breakfast and a couple of my ties and you know, like, when what's great is like, the breakfast and.
Unknown
Had a couple of my ties, couple of seeds. It's a crazy honeymoon.
Eldis
But you know. You know what's awesome? It wasn't a honeymoon. But you know what's crazy is you have those days where it's like, all right, you're on vacation or whatever.
Stavi
So you would say a v. A Vaca, couple days off in Hawaii after a wedding would not qualify to you as even sort of a honeymoon.
Unknown
That is.
Stavi
No, we're gonna.
Eldis
We're gonna do something.
Unknown
No, but that is a honey period.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
It's not like you flew right back home. You took a couple days and enjoyed.
Eldis
A couple of days.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
Something to eat. Sure.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
A couple of zany bars.
Eldis
You know that moment where it's like. And I've never really been that much of a day drinker.
Stavi
Guy is, you know, he just married into this family. Been dating her. You know, how many presidents now? Go ahead.
Eldis
But, like, when you have that drink at breakfast and you're like, man, we're getting up all day.
Stavi
That is a great flavor.
Unknown
There's nothing better than day drinking.
Eldis
That is a great omelette. Hits the table. How you doing?
Stavi
Especially. Especially when you're fat. As. And, like, when I was drinking, it would be like. There'd be days where, like, the booze didn't agree with me because I had been eating, like. Like, your stomach.
Unknown
Sure.
Stavi
But those days where you drink it and you just feel like everything clicks. The magic elixir kicks in. In. And you feel like. Because those were awesome. I'm gonna be drunk for 14 hours.
Unknown
It's a couple of stages. It's like, oh, it's because you're, like, looking forward. Like, I'm gonna have a drink. And then it hits. You're like, oh, that's pretty good. And then you start. You get the little bit of head change, and you're like, yeah. And then you have that second or third and, like, the vibes of the table start. Go like, oh, we're camping.
Stavi
You're getting better.
Unknown
We're in it, baby.
Stavi
You don't have diarrhea. You're like, I don't. I've been drinking for five hours. I'm not more kidding.
Unknown
More cheesesteak egg rolls, my friend.
Eldis
We just had that at the Eagles game. We went out to the.
Unknown
We.
Eldis
We met up with Tommy Pope and O'Connor down in Philly. Great crew, great squad. At this. At this bar in. In Center City, they just opened.
Unknown
We actually waited out front for, like, 10 minutes until they opened. We had, like, luggage and stuff.
Eldis
Looking forward to a great day. This dude hits me and him with like, I, like, I. I got a pilsner or something like that, and it went down like butter. I was like, man, this is going to be a fucking perfect problem. No heartburn, nothing like that? Yeah.
Stavi
No heartburn when you're fat as you're like.
Eldis
That's all behind this now. Serious.
Unknown
I hate to beat. I hate to. I hate to beat a dead horse here, but, you know, this is the year of health for Stavy Baby Enterprises. What's key to good health? Good sleep, folks. That's why the whole team got Helix Sleep mattresses. We're sleeping good, elders. You got one. I know you do, brother.
Yeah, dude, I love my Helix mattress.
You have one. Benny Buttcheeks, our pal Christina who does all the boring emails and stuff for the company, who doesn't show up. She got one. The whole team got Helix mattresses because we were sleeping so good on them. You go to Helix. This year truly has been my best year of sleep. Is it because I got a brand new Helix King bed in my home in Baltimore anymore? Hey, I'm no scientist, but the data seems to line up to me. What I liked about Helix is you can go take a little quiz, tells you the best one for you. I don't remember exactly the name. It's whatever their mattress for fat people is. I'll tell you that much. It's their heavy duty as well. And I don't laugh too much, eldest, because I have a sneaking suspicion you got the same one, pal.
I got the same one. I love it.
It's beautiful.
Yeah, it's for, like, fat guys and tall guys.
Stavi
Right, right.
Unknown
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Stavi
You're a married man now.
Eldis
Sure.
Stavi
How was. Now let's walk. We. We. You know, last time we were here, we were laughing at you for your Christmas.
Unknown
That doesn't sound like a destination wedding.
Eldis
That's funny. That was the last time we.
Stavi
How was the. Give us the recap.
Eldis
I'll let. I'll let. I'll let Kevin answer that. How was it? Kippy sucked.
Unknown
Cost me 15 grand.
Eldis
No, not that part. Not that part. That's a nice place.
Unknown
I'm sorry. Trying to invite you to nice places with nice people.
Eldis
You fall down the steps out of my face. Tell nobody cutlet you.
Stavi
I wonder. I wonder if all the. The flight time from Hawaii to Germany, maybe that. Maybe that had depleted you, man.
Unknown
Sure. I didn't know what. I didn't know what hemisphere got liver.
Eldis
Spots from a delta fight.
Unknown
Comfort plus my ass.
Eldis
Bad planet tortillas. Tell him honestly.
Unknown
What?
Eldis
Tell them how the wedding was.
Unknown
It was pretty good.
Eldis
Oh, you.
Stavi
It was.
Unknown
It was very. It was. Listen, beach ceremony.
Stavi
Are you on the beach or.
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. Very nice.
Eldis
It's grass over here. It's not sand.
Stavi
Okay, but it's be. But you're by the beach.
Eldis
Yeah. We need a water.
Stavi
All right.
Unknown
You ever been to Dover? Similar vibes. No.
Eldis
It's like the front yard of Magnums.
Stavi
He went. He goes to Hawaii. He gets. He gets married in front of a pool. The ste. The hill was too steep to get to the beach.
Unknown
Infinity pool.
Eldis
It's water.
Unknown
No, it was.
Stavi
It was beautiful.
Unknown
It was as picturesque, perfect as you could have imagined to the point where, like, I was pretty up.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
And went out, went outside for a heater, like, off the premises. You know what I mean? Excuse myself like you do over to the smoking section. And I came back in and like, the sun had went down. Like, you know, it's like this. And like the. The string lights had lit up because it was outdoors and like, beautiful everything. Like, the vibe, like, hit. And I walked in, you know, half cocked, and I was like. It hit me like, who the. This is. I'm like, who the. Getting married? Like, this is crazy. And then I went, oh, he is.
Stavi
It was that nice. Yeah. That's awesome.
Eldis
And he took a run at my mother, dude.
Unknown
She was all over me, dude. Wild. It was texting me, trying to dance with me. It was.
Eldis
It's broad.
Stavi
Should have taken it for a spin, dude.
Unknown
She was putting her cigs. He was smoking cigs. And like, listen, I was, you know, I I. We're at the hotel. I'd remove myself to the street, smoke. But then I'm dropping it or whatever, you know. Okay. I'm not like, just, you know, I'm not flicking in the bushes or anything. Drop it on the sidewalk.
Eldis
Can't do that over there.
Stavi
No.
Unknown
And, dude, she's putting them out and then putting them in her bra and, like, save, like, so she's not littering. And she's like, I've been putting them in my bra.
Eldis
That's my mother, God damn it.
Stavi
At her son's destination wedding. That's awesome. Marlboro 1/ hundreds in her bra.
Eldis
I joke, but it was, you know, all the. That I took for it and all that stuff, it was great. It was. And it was everything that we wanted it, you know, because all the. All the younger kids in. In my family, which I'm very tight with, they all got to go. They were all there. They were all mixing it up and hanging out. And it reminded me of what my childhood was like when we would go on vacation with all those families with, like, you know, the other families. It'd be all of us mixed together in, like, different hotel rooms and goofing around and this and that. So it had that vibe, but it was, you know, it was. It was, you know, in paradise.
Stavi
That's beautiful.
Eldis
And it was great.
Stavi
Love that.
Eldis
Everything's been a nightmare since we got back. We had a hell of a two weeks.
Stavi
One thing I loved about it was we had. We were talking be, like, pretty close to before, and you just straight up did not have, like, the shirt you.
Eldis
Were going to wear to your wedding.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
It's funny you mentioned that.
Unknown
So it's pretty funny. He's been wearing it after, which is wild, right?
Stavi
Like, he's like, I was gonna go do a spot.
Unknown
He's been wearing it on pod. Like, on the pod. Does this look familiar? I'm like, did you get married in that shirt?
Eldis
Why wouldn't I wear it?
Unknown
It's just odd.
Eldis
No, it's not.
Unknown
Yes, it is.
Eldis
If I wore the pants with it, I didn't look great.
Unknown
Cargo shorts.
Eldis
No. I look like an extra from the Sopranos.
Unknown
Look like Bobby Bakala.
Stavi
On your beaut. The wedding you said was perfect. You're wearing cargo shorts for.
Eldis
I did have real Bobby Buck. A lot of Team two vibes. Second team vibes coming in.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hilarious. I love that pair.
Eldis
What. What are they, rayon or something like that? The pants that didn't quite Aliburton make them, didn't Quite fit down the bottom.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
You look good, though. No, you look. You look good. It was. Was genuinely from a. A guy who's been in the inner makings of this and highly doubtful.
Stavi
Right, right, right. Could. Didn't think you could pull it off.
Unknown
It pulled it fantastically.
Stavi
That's what I like to hear.
Unknown
It was great. It was really. It was very nice.
Stavi
I'm happy for you.
Unknown
I love flying to Hawaii for 72 hours. That was rough getting back for Christmas.
Stavi
But it was at a time where tickets were cheap. Right. December 23rd.
Unknown
December 23rd to the 24th is the cheapest time to fly.
Eldis
It's probably a bad time to bring this up. Still waiting. An envelope, though, from.
Unknown
Oh, he had to give him a gift.
Eldis
About to do the thank you cards. Once I start writing them, I can't accept anything.
Unknown
Oh, keep going. You're good. I tried to pick up a check while we were out there. And you said no.
Eldis
Yeah, the pool bar. I'm not letting you off. 70 bucks. You son of a. Cheesesteak egg rolls.
Unknown
I didn't have that burger.
Eldis
It was very sweet.
Unknown
It was. I mean, you know. Yeah, you were.
Stavi
That's awesome.
Unknown
The company took care of you.
Stavi
Oh, of course. Sure, sure, sure.
Unknown
He was a good job.
Stavi
Yeah, of course.
Eldis
Shout out to the bozos and homies.
Stavi
So marital bliss has not been so great. Your life after marriage has not been great. No.
Unknown
I don't think it was greatly melted either. I think when they were drunk.
Eldis
Turn.
Unknown
I think being drunk in Hawaii was pretty cool. But the goal post on either end were probably a little turbulent.
Stavi
Yeah. What's the. What's the. What's. What has the.
Eldis
We got some calls. What's going on in here?
Unknown
Has anybody ever fallen out of place?
Eldis
Yeah, I have a lot to deal with. I got my problems. Sure, man. He's been.
Stavi
God, you're the man.
Unknown
He's been brutal since we got back.
Stavi
Philly trash. To just have a really nice vacation, basically, and just make all your loved ones be there and not really think about what happens afterwards.
Eldis
Everybody had a great time.
Unknown
That's all he's worried about.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unknown
You guys have fun.
Eldis
Great time.
Stavi
Yeah. Which I, you know, I respect on some level.
Eldis
It brought us closer together.
Stavi
That's beautiful, dude.
Unknown
I show up.
Eldis
We.
Unknown
I.
We show. I show up a day late. I think he got there a day before me. I show up a day later.
Eldis
I was all, up.
Unknown
He came. Dude, he walks up like, you know, you get out of the pool, you put your shirt Back on and like the bottom half of your shirt's wet. He comes out, no shoes. At the, at the resort. Like meets me on the sidewalk.
Eldis
Outrigger reef in W. Say enough about it.
Unknown
No no shoes, no flip flops. Just like looks like he got thrown.
Eldis
In the pool like a king down there.
Unknown
He's like, give me a hug. He's got like ketchup on him. I'm like, dude, I'm not touching you.
Eldis
It was a lot. You know, every time that we're over there, we always say, you know, excuse me, I'll be great if so and so was here, you know, how nice would it be? And then to have that actually happen.
Stavi
Right.
Eldis
You know, it means a lot. That's a little misty.
Stavi
Well, here's I like that's the wrong.
Eldis
Guy to try to get a hug at it, I'll tell you that.
Unknown
Just flown 18 hours.
Stavi
Right, right, right, right.
Unknown
No, I hug you but like, dude. Yeah, he doesn't get, he's like so he's like his sweating, he's cross eyed.
Stavi
He wants, he wants you to be teary eyed at some point.
Eldis
I was that drunk. Pool sweat.
Unknown
He'd been drinking my ties like six hours, literally. His nephew who's like 14, he's like yelling at his nephew, right? We're like by the pool, he's going, you got it. Looked at him and then looked at me. He goes, what the he talking about? Oh, no one respects you.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
This 14 year old kid went, what the are you talking about?
Eldis
He's got a lot to say. They all do. My one cousin in conversation with young cousin.
Unknown
Like, tell us some Foley. Like, well, one time he really inappropriately talked about how he saw a ghost for three hours at a dinner with important people. I was like, I don't know what that means, but all right.
Stavi
He saw ghost.
Unknown
Seems like he kept. Apparently f was at a dinner and just kept going on and on about a ghost he saw.
Eldis
Somebody asked me, I did see a ghost. Not going to sit there and lie.
Unknown
Really. Seeing him around his family, extended family, really gave me perspective.
Stavi
Right.
Unknown
Of how. I mean, cuz like we're so intimately connected at this point. We talk all day, see each other every day, drive the whole nine yards. So like I'm in the world with him. Like we're counterparts in this world that like I don't see from the outside in. And to see them in his. It's. I was just like, ah, this is. You're. You're a psychopath in this world now.
Stavi
So you're saying the context of his family just kind of clarified who he is to you? Or like, no, you couldn't blame it on the family anymore.
Unknown
Or like, more just like, I don't know. He's obviously a crate, you know? Yeah, I love him, but we're both crap. But he's a, you know, he's a.
Stavi
He's a wild, out of his mind wild. But that makes sense. The. Because you're. Because it's your. It's your wife who's from Hawaii, right?
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
So, yeah, you are. So your family is a bunch of just people from Philly and you're suburbs. Suburbs. And you are their big fat party animal that like to see comedy who, like, not. Here's how much.
Eldis
Really, I was never the party animal like that. I always kept that. Like, I never, like, went to the family parties and got fucked up.
Stavi
No, no, no. But who you are, though, is like, you. Are you out of that. You grew up. You grew up to be the guy who, like, has a drunk ass destination wedding in Hawaii. You know what I mean?
Unknown
You're doing. You're out there trying to make.
Stavi
And you're a comedian. You know what I mean? Like, you are sort of like, sort of the mascot almost of the family.
Unknown
Him and his mom bicker like they're married. It's crazy. Like, to the point where I was like, they might hook up. Like, that's how the sexual tension on day two was crazy. I'm like. I'm talking to Cassie. I'm like, they might. Are they like, this is.
Eldis
This is.
Unknown
Is wild.
Eldis
What am I Get somebody else crazy.
Stavi
On my way, on my big day, someone else is going to my mom.
Eldis
We're friends.
Unknown
I get there.
Eldis
We're boys.
Unknown
I get there. They're going. They're bickering. They're at the table, they're bickering. They're both up. They're bickering and like.
Eldis
She's not up. Don't take my mother. She's a goddamn angel. Yeah, she's not feeling well right now either.
Unknown
All right, I'm sorry.
Stavi
Send her some Z.
Unknown
They say that about the.
Eldis
She hung over. I'm kidding.
Unknown
Irish fool.
Eldis
Blue Colombian.
Unknown
Yeah, it was just. It was. It was funny because I had never seen that. I'd only seen it, like, after a show or whatever.
Eldis
Like, hey, you know, you got a full dose.
Unknown
A full dose of the Foley.
Eldis
And they all love Kippy.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
How could you not, you know? Yeah, I'm out there picking up checks. He's trying to.
Stavi
Yeah. Attempting to pay for four chicken finger baskets.
Eldis
Dave and Buster's card and put that I do. I was up that first night. We got. We got after it.
Stavi
There was a little.
Unknown
Trying to do the math for the. For the tip. And I'm like, let me just do it.
Eldis
There was a little crew that got there like the day early. It was like me, two of my cousins.
Unknown
Dude, they're all sunburnt. Not one of them use sun.
Stavi
They're like, looking at you like the group trip were. Yeah. Even within a tight group, the. The factions that form. It's very fun.
Eldis
Yeah, Very fun.
Stavi
Like day after the day before. People always.
Unknown
It did feel like you came in and like everybody. It was like you showed up to the second day of school and everybody had already made. They're like, do the thing. And you're like, I'm out of all these inside jokes.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
Missing a part. Remember when you'd miss a party in high school? It always seemed like it was the funnest one.
Unknown
No. I was at every party. Everybody that might Parents through.
Stavi
All right. Well, we do. We have to. You know, to Foley's wish. We do have to take some calls. But before we do, we were talking about what you get on a cheesesteak, and I do feel like I would not be doing my host duties to throw that out there in the beginning.
Unknown
Sure.
Stavi
And then bring it back and not have your official cheesesteak order.
Eldis
Yeah. Kevin, you want to go first?
Unknown
Sure. I ventured off, and I don't get them a lot anymore because I'm just not down there enough. But when I do, I go. Pretty classic. I'll do, you know, American with. For the most American cheese with fried onions. That's about it. I just keep it. I don't like taking. I don't like rolling the dice and being like, ah. That I just want to scratch the itch of. I have one or two of these a year whenever.
Stavi
Right, right, right, right, right. But you'll go straight meat, cheese. You don't want any. Any vegetable accoutrement.
Unknown
I. I'm not a veggie guy. I don't know. You heard about the green juices.
Stavi
Aside from that, word's getting out. You had green juices, liver.
Unknown
Whatever it is, it solved it. I got. I got a clean bill of health from the. From the ER doctor.
Stavi
Okay. Interesting, Foley.
Eldis
Thank you for the question. I like to handle this in three parts, if I could.
Stavi
Of course.
Eldis
Now, if it. If. If I'm just straight up the middle. American cheese, steak, ketchup. Dippy. Dipping it in ketchup. If I'm feeling frisky, which I usually am, I go cheesesteak. Hey, hoagie. Which I know is not. Not traditionalist, but. Cheesesteak, hoagie, cheesesteak, mayo, lettuce, onion, tomato, and oregano on top.
Stavi
Oregano? No, I'm sorry, what do you mean?
Eldis
Like, what's the hoagie Would be adding the. The greens. Hoagie. Fight it.
Unknown
I see raw, like, not cooked.
Stavi
Yeah, I'm with you.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
Because I think. Yes.
Eldis
Especially on a chicken cheesesteak. That's banging. Chicken cheesesteak ogi with mayo.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
Chicken. I do a chicken whiz From A&LP in North Wildwood is like, my favorite.
Stavi
And melting chicken with whiz and no veggies to speak of.
Unknown
Oh, no. I mean, the french fries.
Stavi
I mean, that is. Basically. You've created another type of egg roll. Essentially, it's a bigger egg roll. Yeah. You've created that. You're like. Can you deep fry this real fast?
Unknown
Sure.
Eldis
It had pretty good.
Unknown
Yeah. Now we're talking.
Eldis
Not a big whiz guy. Be honest with you.
Stavi
I'm not a big whiz guy either.
Unknown
Yeah.
When you guys say American, you don't mean whiz.
Stavi
Right.
Unknown
You just.
Eldis
Yeah.
Unknown
Some places.
Eldis
Cooper Sharp.
Unknown
Some places do, like, I'm a Steve Princess steaks guy. They'll. They have a melted American. So they don't put, like, the cheese on. They have it like how whiz would be. And it's a liquid white American cheese. And they ladle that over.
Stavi
That's very interesting.
Unknown
That with the cheese, like, cheese fries on the side. Decided after the dipping. That's pretty good.
Stavi
Oh, yeah, bro.
Eldis
A lot of dipping.
Unknown
No, a lot of dipping.
Stavi
I'm with you hogifying it.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
I'm with you in the hogification.
Unknown
Sure.
Stavi
I think, think. I think if you get it just right and you have that the tomatoes now, they. You cannot. This. This is a sandwich that cannot sit. If this is even taken. This has to be now a little like five minutes. I almost feel like it should kind of cook in its own steam for five minutes.
Unknown
Sure.
Eldis
A slight warmth to the tomato. Just a slight steam on the tomato.
Stavi
Just a slice. Softening, but not soggy. Right. And I really like if they can get the lettuce. This iceberg. Chopped, of course, and that's crisp. Not like, don't give me a sheath.
Unknown
No, no. Shredded or shredded.
Eldis
Gotta be shredded.
Stavi
And I agree with you. I like my shits kind of met. I Like it. I like the fried onion. I like fried. I like the mushrooms on there too.
Eldis
Okay.
Stavi
Mushrooms and fried onion.
Eldis
I'll give it to you.
Stavi
Cheese, hoga fied mayo. I want it sloppy. I want to read.
Eldis
Well, you're gonna do the fried onions, mushrooms, and then hoga fy it.
Stavi
Oh, yeah.
Eldis
Whoo.
Stavi
Oh, yeah. I want. I wanted to be a death wish. I wanted to be. I want it to be. I want it to be a struggle versus the sandwich.
Unknown
You know what I mean?
Stavi
And it's real mastery to be able to eat that sandwich without a huge blowout. Without.
Unknown
Yeah, It's a strategy.
Stavi
You know what I mean? Like, you gotta be. And I like the dance. I like the tango with the sandwich.
Unknown
Sure.
Stavi
Of hitting each crevice. It does feel like rock climbing on in certain ways where you have to hit. Hit just the right.
Unknown
The perfect swing.
Stavi
The perfect swing. Oh. You know what I mean? Like, you see where the tomato breaks? You know what I mean?
Eldis
Like, that reminds me of something. I want to ask you something for. For a couple months.
Unknown
Not to be a cheese steak hoagie on you.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
Not to be too food heavy, but.
Unknown
No.
Stavi
Come on.
Eldis
You and I had lunched together a couple months ago. Yeah. We were, you know, same table. You would.
Unknown
You. You would call it sound like you're in the mob. We're at the same thousand.
Eldis
You would have called an audible and got yourself a chipotle bowl.
Stavi
Right.
Eldis
And I saw you. I saw you do a move that I. That I greatly respect. You got tortilla on the side.
Stavi
Yes.
Eldis
And you were ripping it, and you were kind of making your own little mini burrito.
Stavi
I was creating the perfect.
Eldis
Now, I wanted to ask you what was in that bowl. I didn't want to ask you at the table.
Stavi
Sure. I would have loved.
Unknown
You're texting them.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have loved it. I would have loved to pontificate on. I would have loved to pontificate at, you know, at our lunch table. But what's in the bowl is my chipotle order is. It's just, you know, steak. Steak. I'll get two types of meat. Steak and chicken, usually.
Unknown
Whoa.
Stavi
Crazy.
Unknown
That's a bad serve. That's half and half.
Stavi
N. It's good.
Unknown
That's wild.
Stavi
You got to open your horizons, Iris.
Eldis
I mean, this guy does mushrooms and onions together with hoagie, and.
Stavi
Well, that's. Again, it's a strat. It's a.
Eldis
It's a maverick.
Stavi
Yeah, Absolutely. This. Yeah.
Unknown
He knows you want one. Yeah. Do you like it finely chopped, or do you like it to get started?
Stavi
Finely chopped.
Unknown
You're finely chopped? Not the slab guy. Sometimes we'll do, like, the little quarter.
Stavi
No, I like it finely chopped.
Eldis
What are we talking about?
Unknown
The cheesesteak?
Eldis
Oh, yeah.
Stavi
So, yeah, I'll just have, like, you know, your standard stuff. I'll get guac, for sure.
Unknown
Guac up.
Stavi
And so the. Now the thought process there fully is. You know, we have a burrito, and when you're eating a burrito, I can't do them, but there's, like, three of the most perfect bites in the world and everything else.
Unknown
That's how you play the game.
Stavi
Rice, beans. Too much. The idea with the tortilla on the side is we can craft the perfect bite every time.
Eldis
I'm so with it, and I tear off a little.
Stavi
And I smear a little guacamole base layer.
Unknown
Do you do it with your fingers? Like, you grab what you want?
Stavi
Yeah, I'll tear the thing. And then.
Unknown
How big? How big? I'm sorry? How big of a piece of a tortilla are we talking is per.
Stavi
You know, like a little rip. Yeah, a little rip.
Eldis
I'll eat it, like, Somali style.
Unknown
Like. Yeah, like. Like you're eating Ethiopian food.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going Ethiopian mode on. Chipotle, bro. Burrito.
Eldis
I respect it.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
This guy's blending cold.
Eldis
He's bringing people together.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
Mexican and original.
Stavi
Yeah, it's be. It's a great. It's a great way to go about it, folks.
Unknown
Okay, I like that.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
I don't want to ask you that.
Stavi
Oh, dude, you didn't have to wait this long.
Eldis
I was gonna call you.
Stavi
Yeah, you should have.
Eldis
You're busy.
Stavi
Call me from Hawaii. You're like, all right, I gotta go. I'm about to do my vows. I was just always wondering what you were doing with that. What was in that bowl?
Eldis
We might get something to eat later. I want to know what I'm doing.
Stavi
I love it.
Unknown
Hold on. Fully. What's your number?
Eldis
Three?
Unknown
Because I think you said straight down the.
Eldis
No, I was just being an idiot. Yeah, no, it's just straight up. It's straight up cheesesteak with American cheese and then the hoagie.
Unknown
Nice.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
Respect, gang.
Unknown
You know, I've been trying to get healthier this year, and a big part of that has been cooking for myself. In fact, you have seen our next sponsor, Hexclad, in a Stavi Gets Ripped video. Video before they were even paying us. That's how much I love this product. I on my own, did my own research and I bought a big ass hex clad pan so that I can for meal prep. I cook my Uncle Stavi's chicken and peps every week when I'm at home. That's cooked through a hex clad pan. Truly, without even with taking no money. I independently. You know what a smart guy I am. I independently. My research said get the hexclad pan pans. Since then they've sent us some woks, They've sent us some other pans. I've been making little sauces. I've been doing stir fries. I love them so much. I think you are going to as well. It's never too late. You can turn around. All you make is chicken nuggets. Become a man. A grown man. Get some. Get some hex clad pans. Cook for your lady, a woman as well. There's. There's tomboys out there. There's ladies who don't cook.
Stavi
Grow up.
Unknown
Up.
Get a Hexclad. My listeners all need to grow up regardless of gender expression and buy a Hexclad and learn a couple recipes. You're embarrassing your family. All you do is make microwave dinners. I'm pumped to get they. They have knives too. So we're on tour right now. When I get home, I'm getting a block of their Damascus. There's Japanese Damascus steel knives. I can't wait. Come along with me on my culinary journey. Journey. It's time to leave behind the delivery fees in that scratched up pan you've been using since college. This year, cook like a pro. For a limited time only. Our listeners get 10 off your order with our exclusive link. Just head to hexclad.comstavi support our show and check them out at hexclad.com h e x C-L-A-.comstavi s t a v-v dash y tell them we sent you. I love Hexclad. We want to be make one day. Hopefully we got a whole Stavi's cooking show sponsored by Hexclad. Make it happen folks. And learn how to cook in the process.
Stavi
All right, Big Eld, let's do some fucking calls.
Unknown
Hi, Stavi. Hi, eldest. Hi, guest. So I guess I'll get right down to it. I'm 24 years old and like a year after I graduated college, I moved from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania down to Florida. And I think I hate it. I have a job down here and like I have a pretty good setup going on, but it's not my favorite. It's not like it's a dream job. And I miss my friends. My boyfriend lives down here with me and even wanting to move back up because we're at a point in our lives where, like, all of our friends are having kids, they're getting married. And I used all my fucking PTO last year just to go and see my friends on the weekend because, you know, I'm not paying $500 for a flight for 24 hours.
Stavi
Amen, sister.
Unknown
So I don't know, what do you think? Should I drop everything and move back up because it'll make me happy and I see all my friends, or is that, like, a total mistake because I have a job here that helps. Helps me pay my bills and all that fun stuff. My parents say one thing because they want to see me succeed, but all my friends, like, nah, it like, come move back up.
Let's go to Patty Wax, dude.
Yeah. All right. Thanks. Love you.
Stavi
Bye. Interesting.
Unknown
This is a tough one.
Eldis
I don't think so.
Stavi
Did she say her age? Eldest.
Unknown
24.
Stavi
Oh, okay. I.
Unknown
Two schools of thought. One, go do what makes you happy. For sure.
Stavi
Yep.
Unknown
But it's also like year 24. Those are the kind of the years that, you know, not suck, but you can, you know, you can dedicate to trying to further your.
Stavi
Right.
Unknown
Like, what are you gonna. You gotta have some. You gotta be able to do something in Philly. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, you gotta be able to get some sort of comparable job.
Stavi
Sure. I mean, this, to me, kind of part of this hinges on what the job is. Exactly. Because it's like, she doesn't seem that stoked about shit. It's not her dream job job. Right.
Unknown
I mean, whatever you're doing in Florida, unless it's training dolphins, you can do in Philly.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
You know what I mean?
Eldis
It's not like, do that in Philly.
Unknown
Delaware river, be a little chilly a couple of months.
Eldis
That's why I got wet seats.
Unknown
Yeah. I don't. I mean, at this point, if you were. I think if you were a little older, my definitive answer would be like, move home. Do what makes you happy. For sure. Like, if you were in your 30s, it's like, who gives a. Yeah, you're not going to make it, but move home. But 24, it's like, it seems like the opportunity is only down there for, you know, suck it up for a couple years and see if you can move back.
Stavi
Right.
Unknown
And, you know, once you've got some traction in your field, yeah.
Stavi
And that's what I was going to say is like, the thing about that is a classic. Like the 30s, the third.
Unknown
Like, we're giving life. I thought I died two weeks ago.
Stavi
You know what you do got to.
Unknown
Do with your life.
Stavi
Yeah. I had a hot dog for breakfast slash lunch in between podcast recordings.
Eldis
But I thought you said it was a sausage.
Stavi
It is a. So it's an Amy Lou's Paleo sausage. I'm just trying to play into the bit now.
Eldis
Who's the same now? Who's this Amy Lou? I've been.
Stavi
I don't know. But they. They. They carry your stuff at Costco.
Eldis
I like it.
Unknown
He did Hoga Fight.
Stavi
I Hogified it. Yeah, I did it. I had a hot dog whiz. I. I'm putting fucking cheese. Cheese whiz and mayo like it's mustard and ketchup on a hot dog.
Unknown
I'll do both. Thanks.
Stavi
So, yeah. The move back. So trying to go somewhere else in your. Like, this is kind of a classic thing. You know, we're guys that live. We live in New York. We're all, you know, mid-30s or up, and we've definitely seen people come here and go home.
Unknown
Sure.
Stavi
And we've seen it work out that, like, for some people, it's devastating. But for some people, it's, hey, you know what? I got what I wanted out of that experience.
Unknown
Sure.
Stavi
I had a fun time. I maybe got. I. Maybe I, like, had some experiences I wanted. Maybe I got the job I wanted, or maybe I got enough. You know, maybe I realized what I want. That wasn't really what I wanted. And what I. And now that I'm ready to settle down, I want to be near, you know, my family, my network, whatever happens a lot. It's a classic thing. Right. But I tend to agree with you.
Unknown
That 24, that's when you take the shot.
Stavi
You're not.
Unknown
Listen, your friends in Northeast Philly ain't going nowhere, and they're gonna be there in a year for sure. And, you know, and you're also at.
Stavi
The age of, like, I remember when I first moved to New York and I was 25, and I was that fur. I've talked about this a lot. First two years were horrible. Horrible. So I was taking that mega bus quite too much.
Unknown
I was going home. I was going home every chance I got. Because you're like, I don't have a social circle. Yeah.
Stavi
And it wasn't until I just said, I'm not going back. This. And in fact, there were, like, Times where I even go back for the hot Like I was like I didn't go to the holidays. I was locked in. I was just here. And I really gave it a like a real try.
Eldis
Sure.
Stavi
That it's like. And you have to do that because you she just moved there.
Unknown
It's also like socially mate like get let your give yourself time to make some friends or be like I'm gonna to make. I'm going to find even if you don't really like them. You're like I can go out with these guys once a week for a drink or whatever.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
That way it's like you're not super leaning on all you know going back to Philly every weekend.
Stavi
And and. And. And I would also say what is she's being cryptic about this job too.
Unknown
Cuz it's like I know like her parents are like it's a opportunity.
Stavi
Right. If it is a real opp. You also have to be realistic about this too because it's like the advice we're giving you I think stands. But also part of the problem might be maybe this isn't the thing you wanted. Maybe Florida's not. We're not saying Phillies where we're not saying go home yet. But make make sure the thing that you left is worth doing. I is part is Also my advice 100% is there a different place you should be? Could you legitimately do what you wanted in Philly? And maybe it's the best of both worlds but to me you're sounding a little bit like a 18 year old that's moved into a dorm for the first time. Isn't. Doesn't know what it's like to sleep in a room with a stranger. Mrs. The. The snacks in your mom's pantry and you know you have to do laundry for the first time.
Unknown
It's like that movie Son in Law with Paulie Shore. Go out. You gotta get to expand. Of course you want to go home. It's not a movie. You gotta go out. You gotta figure out the city. You gotta make some friends. You got a guy or two.
Stavi
Great movie. Sun and Law. Is that the one where the guy his. His brother dies and she has to. No.
Unknown
No. That's. I don't know what that awakenings. No. Paul. No that's Paulie Shore Son in law is the girl goes brother dies. Brother doesn't die in that.
Stavi
Doesn't he?
Unknown
No.
Stavi
Doesn't he. He doesn't he inherit a wife or some.
Unknown
No. You might be Audio Doom.
Stavi
No.
Unknown
Another great Shore movie.
Eldis
Where the brother dies.
Unknown
That's a dark turn for weasel.
Stavi
Somebody's brother dies. That's where the dies.
Unknown
Your brother died. Richard Simmons.
Stavi
No, that's not it. Maybe Son in Law.
Unknown
No one dies in Son in Law. But isn't he a light hearted, whimsical movie?
Stavi
Is he forced to live with somebody's wife or something?
Unknown
No, he's got to go live on the farm. He goes home with her for like a week or so and lives on the farm that she came from. She's a small town girl. She goes out to California to. And she. She does. She's like, I'm moving home after a little while. And he goes, baby, you haven't even experienced the city yet. Let me take you. They get a tattoo by Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Eldis
They were just friends at the time too. They weren't even hooking up yet.
Unknown
I don't even think they hooked up.
Eldis
They get together at the end, they fall in love.
Stavi
I don't think so.
Unknown
The fat kid from Sandlot's in it. Amber Theon.
Stavi
Oh, man. Go up. What year was this?
Unknown
93.
Stavi
So I think I saw this as a five year old and. And invented a plot around.
Unknown
Made $37 million.
Stavi
I think I saw this and I.
Eldis
Thought budget 8 million.
Stavi
What happened was Pauly Shore became someone's son in law. Well, what happened was that Pauly Shore's brother was married to this woman. And because of some ritual ancient law, his brother died and he just got his wife. Sure, he had to. And he was now responsible.
Unknown
This is when you were still.
Eldis
I think you saw the Pakistani version.
Unknown
Yeah, this. This is real third world you guys happened in Deadwood.
Stavi
Thank you very much. You know, it happened in the American west as well. Maybe.
Eldis
Or maybe.
Stavi
Maybe call in or, you know, leave them. Maybe. I'm thinking of a movie because Paulie.
Unknown
Shore goes and like he makes. He turns the mom into a little bit. She falls in love with the husband again. He goes in and. And Weasel fies everybody and brings out the best in them.
Eldis
The dad hates him.
Unknown
Dad hates him.
Eldis
He's the prosecutor computer in my cousin Vinnie.
Stavi
Oh, okay. This is a great. You know, I like. I like what's in Carla Gugino. Real piece ass.
Eldis
That's my advice for this lady.
Stavi
Oh, yeah, yeah. We were talking about this woman.
Eldis
You ain't that boyfriend of years.
Unknown
Butterfly on your ankle, your problems go away.
Stavi
But yeah, it's like you're right now. You haven't given it the full. Don't use up your College, try to go see your friends.
Unknown
I mean, she did it for a year, though. That says I used all my PTO last year to go see my friends because I'm not flying back for a weekend.
Stavi
But the problem is, that's not what you use your PTO for.
Unknown
It's also like, you're not. If you're going. I did this in college. I did this in college. I went to temple and like, I lived in. I lived in Bucks county and I went to town. It's like 35 minutes or whatever. And I would go home because, like, all, like, my friends didn't go to college and hang out.
Eldis
What, he had a girlfriend up in.
Unknown
Canada and you just sit at the.
Eldis
Bus stop all weekend?
Unknown
I would go home and, like, it took me to be like, ah, dude, I gotta stop going home every other weekend because, like, I'm not ingratiating myself into the scene, like, making friends there.
Eldis
It's like being the party animal that you were meant to be.
Unknown
Rock on.
Stavi
Of course.
Unknown
Falling down stairs.
Eldis
You girls want some chicken fingers?
Unknown
Shout out to temple Star Chinese.
Stavi
So I would just say you're. You're very young. Like, you're even that first year where you spent your pto, like, here's the thing, you're just not gonna. You moved in a different place. You'll see them dirt. This is what. This is why the holidays are important to people. Because that's when you see your friends from home.
Unknown
It's also like, they ain't like, I get you want to go see your family and friends, but it's like, they're not doing. They're doing the same you should be doing in Florida. Like, they're hanging out. They're going to the right. You know, people are coming over to the same house. Houses. They're going to be doing that for the next 35 years.
Stavi
And by the way, take a shot.
Unknown
And try to do whatever the you're doing.
Stavi
And by the way, why the. Are you visiting them? You live in Florida. Why don't they hit the beach or something for a weekend?
Unknown
Also they got all those pain management places down there. It sounds like your friends like pills too.
Eldis
I don't know that. That's got. That's got real Kissimmee St. Cloud vibes. Or she's. So she's in Jacksonville or something like that. Something tells me she ain't in Miami Beach.
Stavi
You're probably right. But. So, yeah, that's our overall. Don't. Don't get bogged down too quick. Home will always be there for you. And you might be at a, you know, some point in your life, it might be the right thing or who knows, you might hit your stride in Florida when you stop thinking about what you're missing and you might not want to, you know, live. It's like it's basically in your life.
Unknown
Trying to have both. It's like you chose Florida. Take a swing in Florida and really see what happen. Go home three times a year.
Stavi
Year, yeah.
Unknown
Have them come down for a weekend or whatever. But like you, you don't even have to go home.
Stavi
I would say don't even go home that often.
Unknown
Yeah, them I don't care for a while.
Stavi
It's got to be about the new place.
Unknown
Any, any big life decision you make. You're always going to think about like an alternate life that you could have had for yourself. And that's what you're doing now with like Philly. And you got to remember like, if you stayed in Philly, I mean you had an instinct to leave for a reason. So you got to be like, like, you know, if I was in Philly and you know, look forward five years from now, I'd be like, oh, I never like left or tried another city or something.
Once you have kids and you're like, I'm. You can't move with a one year old to take a shot to roll the dice.
Stavi
And by the way, moving now would kind of be the worst of both worlds. You didn't really give it a shot.
Unknown
Yeah.
The life you want also like when you fly. I had this problem too. And like my wife who moved from Germany to here, here like also experiences it. So it's like the life you get when you do go back to Philly isn't everyday Philly life. Like you're, you, you're getting like, hey, I forget your name. I'm sorry. Megan's coming to town. Let's all have a barbecue. Let's set a, get a good dinner reserve. Like you're not sitting there when like the boy, you know, your, your brother in law and sister are fighting and the, whatever you're not dealing with the problems.
Eldis
You're going back.
Unknown
What?
Eldis
Why are they fighting?
Unknown
He's stepping out on her. But just like you're not dealing, dealing with the problems you're there for like hey, so and so's here. Let's, let's make it a good four days.
Stavi
It's like long term or long distance relationships where it's like, yeah, yeah, the three days you see each other is gonna Be awesome. Sure it's not. You don't all day and go to brunch. If you lived in the same city.
Unknown
Wait till like mid February on like a Wednesday.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
When it's like dark at 4:30 and you're, you know, someone broke into your house.
Stavi
And I. And I'll also.
Unknown
Yeah. You know what I mean?
Eldis
Sounds like a Pauly Shore movie.
Stavi
I'll also say the past doesn't exist even a year. Like. Like the comfort life, the.
Unknown
This guy talking about like.
Stavi
Like what you're dreaming of, what you remember, that's already gone. Even in a year, it's gone. You want to return. Part of wanting to return is safety is like. But life is always moving forward and you're changing. Philly's changing. Maybe one day it's right for you. But like, it sounds like all you want. It's. You're already nostalgic and you're too young for nostalgia right now.
Unknown
I also think too, like, I don't know exactly where you come from or your economic background or whatever, but, like, if your parents think this is a good shot for you, you know what I mean? Like, it might be. You know what I mean? Like, there might not be that many options back in Philly. And like, whatever. You went to college, you got a degree, whatever the it is, you did the work to get there. And it's like two people, people who have lived probably in Philly for most of their lives are like, go do this because. Yeah, this will always be here.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
Take the swing.
Stavi
Stay there. Keep. Yeah, keep working one of those pill mills in Florida. She's like, I'm. I'm a. I'm a lieutenant in ice. Horrible, dude.
Unknown
Every dirt bag I grew up with who got addicted to pills was going down the floor. It was like, I remember. I remember one girl. Girl may or may not be related.
Eldis
It was always like, Fort Myers.
Unknown
She was all. She was related to me. She's like, hey, things are going good. She goes, me and Chris are doing well. We almost got a bank account. Just dirt. Bad couples. Almost got caught going through my mom's purse at Christmas to steal TD bank gift cards.
Stavi
Yeah, we're almost. We've almost gotten through the first homepage of the bank. I almost remembered. I just need a printer. The Hotmail password.
Unknown
Yeah, it was like dirt. It was like, once we get a. I remember going, once we get a bank account, we're gonna move to. We're gonna move to Florida. And all my friends who are like.
Eldis
I thought that same thing once we.
Stavi
Get a bank account.
Unknown
Putting this whole time going to Florida. What's that? You know, it's like where all the bills are made.
Stavi
Yeah. Yeah. That's so awesome. Good luck. Good luck, sister.
Unknown
Good luck. Just trust your heart. You'll do what's right.
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It was.
Unknown
It's beautiful. I went, no headboard. You could go headboard. They have a bunch of different cool, you know, shelving, seating, whatever you want to do. It looks awesome. It feels incredibly high quality. I'm also not the smartest guy. I'm not the handiest guy. I couldn't put it. I can't. I. I don't like assembling complicated stuff. This took five minutes. I didn't use any tools whatsoever. It's Japanese joinery, my friends. You're gonna love it. It just fits right in. It's. It's. It's sturdy. It's beautiful. Literally. This is not even. I'm not making this up. I own this product. I purchased it with my own money. I can't endorse it higher than that for you. Just the clean lines, it's just. It looks awesome. When I get back from the tour, I have a little more decorating to do. I kind of left it halfway. I'm hitting up Thuma for sure to figure out the. I need bedside tables. I'm definitely going to Thuma once I get home. So be like me. Have a. Have wonderful bedroom furniture from Thuma. Thuma. To get a hundred dollars towards your first bed purchase, go to Thuma Co Stavi. That's t h u m a dot co stavi S t a v y To receive a hundred dollars off your first bed purchase, that's a better deal than I got. I paid full price. Be a smarter shopper than me. Go to Thuma right now.
Hey, man, how you doing? Just a quick interesting question for you, maybe Interesting question. Married to my wife for the last four years. She's an immigrant here from Mexico. She's been here for 15 years, but. So she has this habit that she says that she started while she was living in Mexico. Apparently, the plumbing down there isn't that great, so they have a habit of, if it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.
Stavi
Sure.
Unknown
So it wasn't really an issue in the first few years of our relationship, but over the past year, I really don't understand what's going on. She wants to leave the toilet full of pee if she doesn't poop into the. And if she doesn't poop when she's going to the bathroom.
Stavi
Right. I get. We'll pause this. The pee.
Unknown
And this guy's really.
Stavi
Do you think. Do you think that we didn't understand? If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.
Eldis
Third grade, sir.
Stavi
Hilarious.
Unknown
All right, but the next line. I see. That is what bothers me.
Stavi
Okay, keep going. All this I have, you know, all.
Unknown
Day long, leave the peel maybe four or five times, he'll go take a pee and. And not flip.
That's crazy.
And every time I walk into the bathroom, it smells like a urinal in there. It smells like a Porta Potty. So I've talked to her about it, trying to figure out how we can get her to get into the habit of flushing the toilet when she goes to the bathroom, but she doesn't seem to think that it's that big of a deal that she doesn't flush the toilet. I mean, she talks about saving water, but I don't think a couple of flushes of the toilet every day is really going to make that much of a difference in.
Stavi
You're right.
Unknown
So any advice that you can give to me for figuring out how to get her to flush the toilet when she goes to the bathroom.
Stavi
That's crazy.
Eldis
This is this guy's fault.
Unknown
Yeah.
Eldis
This guy hasn't sold America and his wife enough. He's got to take this broad to, like, a monster truck show or something like that and let her know, baby, you're in the US of A.
Unknown
We got it. You.
Eldis
You flush. Flush that. I'm. I'm putting dude wipes, dental floss, Matchbox cars, throw at books, anything you want down that toilet and give it a flush, baby.
Stavi
Yeah, don't sweat it. You're good.
Eldis
You're an American now. You don't got to worry about that.
Stavi
Elders, look up how much water of toilet Flush uses.
Unknown
It's like the old ones are 3.8 gallons. What the 3.2, 3.8.
Eldis
Like a tip. The tool man Taylor over here.
Stavi
Standard tool toilet uses 1.6 gallons of water per flush.
Eldis
Damn, that's a lot.
Stavi
However, newer high efficiency toilets can use as little as 1.28 gallons.
Unknown
Yeah, like, yeah, I mean, yeah, buddy. This is your. Like you put up with it for two for four years at this point.
Stavi
I mean, that's insane.
Eldis
She's celebrated at this point.
Unknown
She's going, what's this guy's deal? Like you're making me change the, the rhythm now.
Stavi
Also she is wrong and it is 100.
Unknown
I don't think she's crazy. And you should maybe get a drinking a little more water.
Eldis
It wouldn't smell so good.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, right. I, I, I don't think you're wrong.
Unknown
About that or, you know, but I.
Stavi
Think the answer here is flush the toilet.
Unknown
I got it. I got it. Automatic flusher bypass this broad install it. It's probably 300 bucks.
Eldis
That'd be a ballsy move. 300 bucks.
Unknown
She can't do nothing about it.
Stavi
That's a wild escalation.
Unknown
A plumbing company call me. I'll give you that would have those pretty good industry.
Stavi
You want one?
Unknown
I'll get insider prices.
Stavi
The toilet is too much for you for.
Eldis
You ever have to touch the button at the airport when it doesn't register.
Unknown
For some reason with my foot?
Eldis
Yeah, you got to put that. You got to hit the button.
Stavi
Absolutely. Now listen, I, that's a place where I'll let it mellow. The airport.
Unknown
I don't give a chaos in there.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
I don't wash my hands at the airport.
Unknown
I don't wash my hands most time. If I poop for sure. But peas. What are we doing here?
Stavi
Right? Sure. Poop.
Eldis
I got to. It's usually on my hand.
Unknown
Yeah, clear.
Eldis
Who else needs nurse?
Stavi
Yeah. Fully puts gloves on before he shits. Like he's about to tear up a rotisserie chicken dishwashing.
Eldis
I, I'm working at Terry Blacks.
Unknown
I wonder how much of like aggressive pushback he's given. Is he like kind of foot in this? And like, babe, could you or like, or just be like, yo, babe, you got four years.
Eldis
That's crazy.
Unknown
You gotta flush the toilet. It smells like Yankee Stadium every time I come in here. This is a wrapped. What are we doing?
Stavi
What the hell are you drinking?
Unknown
Yeah, it's like, what the. Let's go. Like, this is no longer Mexico. You gotta be with the, you gotta be with the Times. If she went over someone else's house and peed like they were at a dinner party and peed, she'd flush it. She's aware that it has to be done.
Stavi
Right? Right? Yeah. You're not doing a lot of, you know, you're in America now. You're not in Mexico. Like, okay, you had to do that in Mexico. You're also drinking the tap water now. You know what I mean? It's like, I, I, I. You just, like, just. Just like this. Really? You're right in that. He let it roll too long, and you can hear how cucked he is. In his voice, you can hear how powerless he is. I mean, just going on pure stereotypes alone. White podcast. Listening. Husband. Immigrant. Fiery immigrant.
Unknown
You're describing my.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100. Your wife gets the better of you all the time.
Unknown
Sure. You know, like, we always. Yeah, it's always about America. Dude. The other day we got in a fight as she tried to convince me John Mayer was in Maroon 5. I'm like, you don't know what you're talking. Just give me American culture.
Eldis
Shout out to John Mayer.
Stavi
Yeah. You a big fan?
Eldis
No, but he can really play the guitar.
Stavi
You can. He can. So, yeah. Dude, I don't. I really don't. This is kind of crazy because what you do is tell your wife, I really don't like this. It would mean a lot to me if you just started flushing every time we did. Like, you could even say, look, if you're that worried about it, I'll even install a low flow toilet, something. Oh, a highest.
Unknown
We'll cut back somewhere else. I'll do the dishes by hand. Something.
Eldis
Yeah, get one of those two johns. You know, it has the. The half and the full.
Stavi
You sure?
Eldis
You see them in Europe all the time a lot.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's a lot of our. A lot of our solutions are get toilets that you would see in a fast food restaurant.
Unknown
I know, but it's also like, we're trying to bypass this broad. Just tell her.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
To like, let's be like, hey, if you respect me, you'll. You'll keep. You'll start flushing the toilet. This is not like this should be up for debate. There's no sweat off her back.
Stavi
Totally.
Unknown
There's literally like, all she has to do is press.
Eldis
Do the right thing, though. No colleges.
Unknown
It's gross.
Stavi
Like, does she fucking recycle? Like, this just feels like. To me. Because here's the thing. I will admit that I definitely. When we live Together, I'd let my pisses run for a while.
Unknown
Yeah, dudes are different.
Stavi
I would.
Unknown
Some might say you still do quite often.
Eldis
I had a roommate that used to pee in a bucket and it would leave it there for weeks.
Stavi
A roommate.
Unknown
Sorry about that.
Eldis
That it would congeal.
Stavi
What?
Eldis
It looked like buttermilk.
Stavi
Right?
Eldis
That would.
Stavi
Where were you living?
Unknown
Should have her move in with that guy.
Yeah.
Stavi
Did you have more than one bathroom or what?
Eldis
No, we just had one.
Stavi
Where was this?
Eldis
This was in Murray Hill years ago. Yeah.
Stavi
Incredible stuff, man. Yeah.
Unknown
You got to put your foot down, dude. Just put your foot down and go. This is non negotiable.
Stavi
We have keep doing this if you.
Unknown
Respect me and love me, or I'll call ice.
Stavi
Yeah, it's like, things are getting kind of tough for you right now if you don't listen to Daddy.
Unknown
This reminds me, my grandma went through a phase years ago where she was, like, really afraid of, like, clogging the toilet, so she would flush all. She would, like, put all her toilet papers, like, used in, like, a trash. Trash can next to it. And it wasn't even, like, a clothes top thing crazy. And it drove my mom fucking nuts. Nuts. She was like, stop. You can flush it down the toilet. It doesn't matter. Like, this is nasty. The house is gonna smell like, you know, a public bathroom.
Sure.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
This reminds me of that because it's like, I just know logic will not get through to this woman even if.
You show her, like, weird emotional thing she has.
Yeah, it's. And it's, like, deeply ingrained, and it does sound like a big cultural thing. And. Yeah, she's been doing it for, like, 12 years. That.
Stavi
No, my parents were like that too. Where it's like, grease. You can't. Same thing with the toilet paper. And like, I grew up, we didn't flush. Like, I remember going to. That was a college thing for me where I was like, whoa, nice. I don't have to put this.
Unknown
You guys aren't mashing your turrets down. Down the sink.
Stavi
Oh, no, not the sink. Sorry.
Eldis
You guys don't keep your dumps here.
Stavi
No, I, I, I didn't. I wasn't listening. I was sending a slack message.
Unknown
No, of course.
Stavi
But we, we, we. Yeah, we walked into his dorm looking for the bucket. Yeah. I was like, hey, where do we.
Unknown
Did you guys. Hold on. Did you ever see that? I don't know if it's a podcast. And the guy's like, wait, is this. It's the blacks. He's like, wait a sec. You guys aren't catching your poop out of your butt.
Stavi
Yes. Yes.
Unknown
Is that real?
Stavi
The guy said he would put whole toilet paper.
Unknown
Yeah, he catches the poop and then puts it in and he's like, shocked.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
Well, what do you do when you have diarrhea? It's like you wash your hands.
Stavi
Insane, dude.
Unknown
Crazy.
Stavi
Yeah. No, but that. It's true. It's like, it's funny. Each culture does deal with bathroom stuff differently, but either way you just have to be like, look, this has to end. What the is wrong?
Unknown
Put your foot down, dude.
Stavi
He's not going to.
Unknown
No, he's going to roll over.
Stavi
He's going to be eating fajitas and smelling like piss his whole life. And that's okay. We make trade offs in life.
Unknown
Hey, stop. Hey, Eldis. Hey. Guest or guest. Big fan of the show.
Thank you.
So I just moved to a new city a year and a half ago and in hopes of having a better dating life. Well, that's not the only reason, but that's like a big reason. I'm from a small city, so, you know, we upgraded. We live in out here living respect. So my thing is, is basically I am only attracted to fat guys. Like, I'm chubbing myself, like, and I'm just, I'm only like, if you don't got a gut, like, I don't, I don't want it. And there's like no fat guys here. Like, I don't know what is up with Montreal, everywhere, all this.
Stavi
You know, the dreamboat tour does come to Montreal. Let's flash the date right here. We'll be in Montreal this spring. Maybe. Maybe. I believe so. You know, keep that in mind. Go ahead.
Unknown
Bakeries, everywhere, all this. But like, I dated the one hot fat guy basically around and that didn't work out. And I'm like, oh, is that it? And anyway, it's just like, do I. If I want to find people I'm into, do I like, I don't want to move again.
Stavi
Sure.
Unknown
You can't move to find fat guys. That's crazy.
Stavi
It's crazy.
Unknown
Where are they at?
Stavi
The American Midwest?
Unknown
Sure.
Anyway, hopefully I don't know how you can give me any insight on this, but I'd love to hear it if you have some.
Stavi
I love this girl, obviously, this broad.
Eldis
Just trying to bang you.
Stavi
This is a direct out for her. Who know who's to say? But I think in. I love the idea, your show. I love the idea of like, you know, we talk like, you know, there's like passport bros that go to go to, you know, tourism. I love the idea of like Canadian women that want to fat guys moving to Chicago, moving to St. Or something.
Unknown
Big weekend coming up in Akron.
Eldis
Going down to the Cheddar fest.
Stavi
But it is, it's very. Look, all I'm saying is take a fucking weekend to fucking Chicago. Go. Go. I mean, truly, if you want my actual advice about where you will find the guys you want to fuck. Chicago might be the. Because it's. She's Canadian, she's a cop, you're close, she's a Montreal. It's cosmopolitan, whatever.
Eldis
Also close to like head over to old Town.
Unknown
Like Bolt. No. Where's. I guess Montreal is like above New York. Right?
Eldis
Just hang out front at Jean and Georgetti's. You'll find what you're looking.
Unknown
It's above.
Stavi
I mean not that far from Buffalo, Rochester, Albany. Buffalo is where you want. Look, you're not. Yeah, let's Google Maps. Montreal.
Unknown
It's because I went one time and you. We drove up through New York.
Stavi
Toronto to Buffalo is there right next door. It's like 40 minutes. So Montreal, I don't, you know, I don't know. It can't be that far. Might be a couple four hours or so. Let's see. The fattest city Montreal is.
Unknown
Oh, it's above Vermont. Not.
Stavi
All right, it's not the fattest guys there. Just go.
Unknown
No, I mean. All right, so Syracuse is like not. I mean, it's in the map.
Stavi
Just go. Go from one to the other, you dunce. Starting point, Montreal to Buffalo.
Unknown
I couldn't imagine the pressure of navigating a website I know intimately. More like hundreds of thousands of people watching.
Stavi
Oh, it's, you know, it's a seven hour drive, so it's not super close to Buffalo, but still, you know, you got some fat people.
Unknown
There's fat people. Listen, you're telling me there's no fat guys in Canada?
Stavi
There's got Maddie, Madison. Where's she Disney from.
Unknown
There's got to be some beer drinking guy who likes hockey. Outside of. That's not a French.
Eldis
What about shortbreak or Ottawa? There's got to be a couple of porkers over there.
Stavi
Nova Scotia, Ottawa.
Unknown
Short.
Stavi
Sure. And so look, maybe take a couple. I love like, I like the idea of a girls trip to Wisconsin to get. You gonna go get some in Wisconsin.
Unknown
But also come to New York. You have your pick. Of the three of us.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah.
Unknown
Thank you to Christos.
Stavi
I mean, look, you're finding fat guys a lot of places.
Unknown
Yeah.
Stavi
I can't. I cannot imagine this is an issue for you. The one hot fat guy in Montreal. I mean, Montreal does feel like a place where it might be harder. Is that European influence?
Eldis
That's a really hot fat guy there in Montu. I picture he has, like, silver hair, slick back, speaks French, dresses.
Stavi
The guy f. Describing the guy he wants to.
Unknown
If you see him, call me.
Eldis
Oh, it's a jazz club and a bakery.
Stavi
The guy you're describing sounds awesome.
Eldis
His father invented the cronut. Go find off big cronut money.
Unknown
I feel like she could go stake out some poutine places up there.
See.
See who's eating poutine?
Stavi
You know, find the best poutine place and set up like you're on a police stakeout. Rented Camry. Get low with some binoculars and just watch the fattest guy coming into poutine. Go. Go.
Unknown
What's the other one? What is it? Tony Hortons. Tim Hortons? Tell me you're not Timmy Tim Hortons.
Stavi
You'll feel Tim Hortons is like Dunkin Donuts.
Unknown
That's what I'm saying. You'll find a fat guy.
Stavi
You know what I mean? Right.
Unknown
Go to the.
Eldis
And you'll find out of town. Fact, guys.
Stavi
Right, right. Yeah. So look here, it's not hard.
Unknown
I'm opening for stuff in Montreal.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
Put on £50 before you get up there.
Stavi
Yeah. I mean, look, you're just. I wonder where'd you come from? Maybe it's time to go home where they're fatter. But in any major city, you're gonna get fatter guys, you know, if you want to just take a trip to some. It sounds like you want to stay in Canada. You can find some outdoorsy fat guys.
Unknown
Not that far from Albany. I mean, you're.
Stavi
You know, but put yourself out there a little more. Where. Where do. Where do we hang out? I mean, go to a. You know, go to a buffet. Go to the movies. Yes. Oh, yeah. Go to some. I mean, you know, that's the wrong kind of fat guy, but I was like, go to the winner. Deadpool 4 comes out.
Eldis
Intermural hockey league.
Unknown
Got it. Big and Tall store. Ah, they're going there. That's the. That's the bugs out. That's the light for them. They're gonna converge on chubbies on Montreal Avenue on a dxl.
Stavi
And let me tell you, if there was a hot woman at a dxl.
Unknown
She'D be cleaning up.
Stavi
That would be my dream come true. You know what I Mean just to like, I literally think because dude, you go to a DXL and you see the fat guys weirdly get to have, you know, know. Thank God for this. Get to have hot wives.
Unknown
Sure.
Stavi
I, I can't tell you how many like hot women I've seen just like picking up the largest jeans you've ever seen.
Unknown
Can you help me with these? Any two just doing this.
Stavi
Just like straining to pick up pants to hand to their husband.
Eldis
Dragging a body.
Stavi
Good luck, baby girl. We loved this. You're very important to the community. Girls like you. We need more of you. And go out there, there, go out there, keep, you know, head up the poutine shacks, hit up the D, the Montreal dxl and you'll be, you'll be sucking off dick that's not getting fully hard in no time.
Unknown
This reminded me of a little are you garbage style question.
Hit me.
Stavi
Okay.
Unknown
I'm sure the people will be interested.
Stavi
To hear I have a question about putting on deodorant.
Eldis
Whether I really need to do it every day.
Stavi
Okay. I feel like it's something that's important to do once you get out of the shower.
Unknown
But if you get out of the.
Eldis
Shower and put on deodorant and don't.
Unknown
Shower for another couple days, couple. My experience, odor is not a problem.
Stavi
Couple of days. Did you call in elders?
Unknown
Yeah.
Eldis
That's when you need the deodorant the most. You do that in between, I guess.
Unknown
But some of the stuff, like if you use more of the powder based face, which I tend to do, that sticks on you for more than 24 hours. So if you're not showering, you're not washing it off. So like I kind of get that like you, you're pretty good for at least 24. You can, it can spread.
This is my common practice. I only put deodorant on after a shower. Even if I'm going like two or three days.
I don't disagree with that.
Stavi
Two or three days.
Unknown
But are you leaving the house if you don't shower for three days? Are you like I'm going to work?
Usually not more than two, but sure. Sometimes, you know, things that come up.
And I'm really hunke her down if I'm not showering.
Stavi
Let me ask you.
Eldis
Pretty in a pretty depressive state for sure.
Stavi
That's crazy. That's part of the problem also, I guess my, my question is what's the harm in an extra swipe or two?
Unknown
Sure. Yeah.
Stavi
What's the big deal with the maintenance Swipe. What do you.
Unknown
I feel like. I feel like your BO still comes through when you do. When you do that. If, like.
Stavi
Yeah. What's the other. What's the other option? Just pure BO or like, I mean, a gentleman's layer of Old Spice over it.
Unknown
I think if you need to shower, like, deodorant will not mask it.
Well, then you got a shower cut through.
Stavi
Right. He's taking the shower out of it. We're all in agreement. He should be showering, but in. If you're in a position you.
Eldis
By the way.
Unknown
Yeah.
Stavi
How are we doing?
Unknown
He's turned us upside down. Like. Oh, yeah. I guess if shower.
Stavi
This is insane. This is like. Like, it's just like the answer is so clear. It's like what numbers come next.
Unknown
Yeah. Shower. And if you're not put on deodorant. That's what. That's the.
Stavi
You should shower and put deodorant on. And if you don't shower, you should still put deodorant on. And if you do neither, that's worse than the other. Sure.
Unknown
If you remove one, you gotta.
Stavi
I mean, what the are we talking about?
Unknown
For sure.
Stavi
There's no question here. You're stupid.
Unknown
Remember when I went to. I tried to go all natural to get off the aluminum?
Eldis
You said we were in like Mitchum or something like that, man.
Unknown
Dude, It. It took a couple days, but once all like the toxins.
Stavi
Yeah.
Unknown
There was a build up. They were still preventing me, man. He. We were like mid podcast with a guest. He's like, dude, you're like. It was like Rob Low or somebody. He's like. He's like, dude, you stink.
Eldis
Talk about, talk about. Hoagie.
Stavi
It was bad, dude, that's hilarious, dude. Yeah, go Kippy.
Eldis
With everything.
Stavi
The. No aluminum is very. The natural deodorant is tough. All right, El, we. You got something fun for us to go out on here with the boys?
Unknown
Yep, yep.
Hey, do you know what the zip code is in Beverly Hills? Well, if you didn't, it's 90210.
Stavi
Okay.
Unknown
And I don't know if you know the zip code in Dawson's Creek, but it's 90108.
Stavi
Love you, bye. 90108.
Eldis
What?
Stavi
Yeah, I don't like. I don't want to wait.
Unknown
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stavi
Really good, Elvis. Very strong call to end on because. Because of Foley thinking he was gonna be on Dawson's Creek. You put a barrel. Something that should have been a shitty meme. Something that's a bad reel that you wouldn't even throw a heart on.
Unknown
Hold on. Where is Dawson's? Is it really in North Carolina? Like, where is it fictionally taken?
Stavi
It's not. Not 90108.
Unknown
No. I know. That's where they shot it, right?
Stavi
Yeah. This is how bad this is. How unfunny this is. We have clarifying questions that is only going to confuse us more.
Eldis
I thought she said I don't want to wait. It's 901.
Unknown
9108 is her joke.
Eldis
Cuz I don't want to wait to the song.
Stavi
Right?
Eldis
Pretty good.
Stavi
Ended with a bang. Very good. Producing Eldis as usual. Instincts couldn't be sharper.
Unknown
I could have sworn she actually mentioned are you garbage? But I guess that was my note when I like screamed this week ago.
I was reading it. I'm like. I don't know. I'm. I'm not the best comedian, but I don't know where this punchline is.
Eldis
I'm going to get this kid a shower.
Unknown
Some right guard on him. This guy stinks.
Stavi
Well, great stuff. Watch the special Route 66 special on.
Unknown
The AYG YouTube page, please.
Stavi
These guys are the best. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Yeah, we'll put links up.
Unknown
Thank you, brother.
Stavi
Come to the Dream Boat tour.
Unknown
We're.
Stavi
We're already hitting the road probably as you're seeing this. Tickets are good. A lot of shows are sold out. But we. We got a couple more moving. We're adding shows. We want to see you there. And then, you know, let's start a cult on Hulu. Yeah, you know, all the good stuff. Stavi gets ripped the. The YouTube series. See it all.
Unknown
Also, we're on tour right now too. Sorry. Back on the black tour through the Midwest West. Shows are selling out. We're adding shows. Get those tickies.
Stavi
Love it.
Eldis
Love you, buddy.
Stavi
See you guys. Love you guys.
Eldis
Thank you.
Stavi
Bye bye.
Unknown
Peace.
Stavi
Hello.
Ryan Seacrest
It is Ryan. And we could all use an extra bright spot in our day, couldn't we? Just to make up for things like sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps.
Stavi
You.
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Stavvy's World Podcast Episode #117 - "Are You Garbage?" Summary
Release Date: February 24, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias
Description: A podcast where you can hang out with your pal Stav, tackling life’s challenges with humor and camaraderie.
In episode #117 titled "Are You Garbage?", Stavros Halkias and his co-hosts, Eldis and an unnamed friend, delve into a variety of topics ranging from personal anecdotes and health struggles to culinary discussions and listener calls seeking advice. The episode is marked by the hosts' signature humor, candid conversations, and supportive interactions, making it both entertaining and relatable for listeners.
The conversation kicks off around the [05:55] mark when the hosts discuss their ongoing and upcoming tours. Eldis shares insights about their recent "Route 66" tour, emphasizing the authentic American road trip experience they aimed to capture. This tour included nine shows in twelve days, featuring visits to diverse locations such as the Oklahoma State Fair and various dive bars. Stavros expresses enthusiasm about their own upcoming tours, highlighting their dedication and humility despite the increasing number of dates and locations over two months.
Notable Quote:
Eldis at [06:39] - “We did Route 66 straight through on a bus from Chicago to LA... it was like a real true American dirtbag road trip.”
A significant portion of the episode revolves around the hosts' love for food, particularly their inventive take on traditional dishes. They passionately discuss "cheesesteak egg rolls," a fusion of a classic cheesesteak and an egg roll, blending different culinary traditions into a unique and indulgent creation. The hosts debate the merits of various cheesesteak orders, preferences for cheese types, and the perfect balance of ingredients to enhance flavor without compromising the structural integrity of the sandwich.
Notable Quote:
Stavros at [63:21] - “And I really like if they can get the lettuce this iceberg. Chopped, of course, and that's crisp. Not like, don't give me a sheath.”
Midway through the episode, around [24:32], Eldis opens up about his recent health issues, revealing that he was hospitalized due to liver problems exacerbated by his lifestyle choices, including diet and substance use. This candid admission sets the tone for a heartfelt discussion on overcoming personal challenges. The hosts share their experiences with quitting smoking, coping with alcohol reduction, and the physical repercussions of their past habits.
Eldis recounts his fear of losing his health, claiming, “I thought I was going to die” at [26:01], highlighting the severity of his condition. The conversation shifts to their efforts in improving their health, such as adopting better eating habits and the struggles of maintaining these changes amidst their busy touring schedules.
Notable Quote:
Eldis at [26:01] - “I thought I was going to die. Like, I was."
The latter part of the episode features multiple listener calls, each presenting unique life dilemmas that Stavros and his co-hosts address with empathy and practicality.
A 24-year-old listener from Florida seeks advice on whether to move back to Philadelphia to be closer to friends and a less-than-ideal job situation. Stavros and Eldis discuss the importance of personal happiness versus job stability, suggesting a balanced approach that allows the listener to evaluate her career prospects and social life benefits before making a decision.
Notable Quote:
Stavros at [72:10] - “But also part of the problem might be maybe this isn't the thing you wanted. Maybe Florida's not.”
Another listener, married to an immigrant from Mexico, struggles with his wife's habit of not flushing the toilet consistently, leading to unpleasant odors in their home. The hosts provide humorous yet practical advice, emphasizing communication and understanding of cultural differences while highlighting the importance of maintaining hygiene standards in a shared living space.
Notable Quote:
Eldis at [95:06] - “You gotta tell her, baby, you're in the US of A. So she can just press.”
A listener recently relocated to a new city and is finding it challenging to meet men who fit his preference for "fat guys." Stavros and Eldis offer suggestions on expanding social circles, exploring specific communities or events frequented by the listener’s desired demographic, and the importance of being open to new experiences while staying true to personal preferences.
Notable Quote:
Stavros at [99:16] - “It's crazy. You can't move to find fat guys. That's crazy.”
Throughout the episode, Stavros and his co-hosts emphasize the importance of self-improvement, whether it’s through better health choices, fostering meaningful relationships, or embracing new culinary adventures. Their candid discussions about personal struggles serve as a testament to the challenges many face, while their humor and supportive advice provide listeners with both entertainment and actionable insights.
Final Thoughts:
Notable Closing Quote:
Stavros at [97:07] - “And by the way, why the. Are you visiting them? You live in Florida. Why don't they hit the beach or something for a weekend?”
Episode #117 of "Stavvy's World" masterfully blends humor, personal stories, and practical advice, creating an engaging and relatable listening experience. Stavros Halkias and his co-hosts navigate through a myriad of topics with ease, offering support and laughter to their audience. Whether dealing with health challenges, relationship hurdles, or niche dating preferences, the hosts’ honest and heartfelt discussions make this episode a standout in the podcast series.
Note: Timestamps are approximate and based on the provided transcript.