#119 - Tim Dillon

Summary

Stavvy's World - Episode #119: Tim Dillon

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Overview

In Episode #119 of "Stavvy's World," host Stavros Halkias welcomes comedian and podcast personality Tim Dillon. The episode delves into a myriad of topics ranging from the nuances of podcasting and friendship dynamics to incisive critiques of societal norms, wealth, and the behavior of the ultra-wealthy. Additionally, the episode features a "Question of the Week" segment where listeners seek advice on personal dilemmas, providing a blend of humor and candid discussions.

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1. Podcasting Life and Friendship Dynamics

Tackling the Challenges of Shared Spaces

Stavros and Tim begin by exploring the intricacies of maintaining friendships while co-hosting a podcast. They reflect on the blending of personal and professional relationships, highlighting how cohabitation with the podcast can strain traditional friendships.

"We just got to produce 90 minutes of content for the YouTube channel. We got to feed the algorithm. That's what it comes down to."
— Stavros Halkias [04:06]

The conversation underscores the delicate balance between creative collaboration and personal camaraderie, emphasizing the potential erosion of pure friendships when professional roles intertwine.

2. Wealth, Power, and Social Responsibility

Desire to Join the Ruling Class

Tim expresses a fascination with understanding the inner workings of the elite ruling class, contemplating the allure of power and the ethical implications of harnessing such influence without personal involvement in oppression.

"I want to see what it's like. I really do."
— Tim Dillon [17:15]

Stavros concurs, discussing the inherent responsibilities and moral dilemmas that accompany immense wealth and power, questioning the true value of money versus community and personal fulfillment.

3. Critique of Tech Billionaires

Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg Under Scrutiny

The duo launches into a critical analysis of prominent tech figures like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. They argue that these individuals lack genuine empathy and understanding of everyday struggles, further distancing themselves from the general populace despite their wealth.

"Elon Musk has done has demystified rich guys. It's because it's sad."
— Tim Dillon [19:07]

Stavros adds that the transparency of these billionaires exposes the emptiness of their pursuits, positing that true happiness and fulfillment cannot be bought, regardless of financial standing.

4. Social Norms and Cultural Expectations

Irish Cultural Influences and Social Behavior

Stavros and Tim delve into the impact of Irish cultural norms on personal behavior and societal expectations. They discuss themes of loyalty, societal pressure, and the struggle to balance personal desires with communal responsibilities.

"It's like being in a beehive. No one's happy, but they're just moving forward."
— Tim Dillon [07:04]

The conversation highlights the tension between individual fulfillment and adhering to societal roles, questioning whether current social structures genuinely serve the happiness and well-being of individuals.

5. Mental Health and Personal Struggles

Navigating Schizophrenia and Family Dynamics

Tim shares personal anecdotes about his parents' struggles with schizophrenia, discussing the challenges of raising a child amidst mental health issues. The dialogue emphasizes the stigmatization of mental illness and the difficulties in seeking and receiving adequate care.

"I have a heart going out to this person. I know what it is."
— Tim Dillon [79:41]

Stavros echoes these sentiments, advocating for understanding and support, while also acknowledging the limits of individual capacity in addressing severe mental health challenges.

6. Relationship Advice Segment: Question of the Week

Caller Dilemmas and Hosts' Candid Responses

The episode features callers presenting complex personal issues, seeking advice from Stavros and Tim. The hosts provide unfiltered, often humorous solutions, balancing empathy with their characteristic bluntness.

Caller #1: Dealing with Partner's Infidelity

A caller grapples with repeatedly being cheated on and seeks guidance on whether to end the relationship without causing their partner to relapse into unhealthy behaviors.

"If you make your bed every morning, the cancer will go away."
— Tim Dillon [88:14]

Stavros and Tim emphasize the importance of self-respect and the futility of maintaining relationships rooted in repeated betrayals, advocating for tough love and personal well-being over persistent but toxic connections.

Caller #2: Addressing a Coworker's Poor Hygiene

Another caller seeks advice on how to handle a coworker whose severe body odor affects the workplace environment, presenting a challenge in maintaining professionalism without causing offense.

"How do I do this and not this guy's life up?"
— Caller [91:41]

The hosts suggest assertive yet respectful approaches, such as involving supervisors or implementing workplace policies, while discouraging indirect or harmful tactics like framing the coworker for theft.

7. Notable Quotes

• "Light, you need to push against something."
  — Tim Dillon [07:25]

• "Evil's not easy. It is a way to live."
  — Tim Dillon [27:05]

• "Money can't buy happiness or genuine human connection."
  — Stavros Halkias [19:47]

• "You can't stay in a relationship for guilt reasons and break it down."
  — Stavros Halkias [89:22]

These quotes encapsulate the episode's central themes of personal responsibility, the hollowness of wealth, and the importance of authentic relationships over superficial connections.

8. Concluding Remarks

Stavros and Tim wrap up the episode with reflections on their shared history, the enduring appeal of their Queens neighborhood, and plans for future podcast endeavors. They reinforce the episode's core messages about self-awareness, ethical behavior, and the pursuit of true happiness beyond material success.

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Final Thoughts

Episode #119 of "Stavvy's World" offers a rich tapestry of humor, personal insights, and social critique. Through candid conversations and unfiltered advice, Stavros Halkias and Tim Dillon navigate complex topics with both wit and wisdom, providing listeners with an engaging and thought-provoking experience.

Transcript

[Tim Dillon]

Step into the world of power, loyalty and luck. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.

[Stavros Halkias]

With family, cannolis and spins mean everything.

[Tim Dillon]

Now you want to get mixed up.

[Stavros Halkias]

In the family business. Introducing the [e-mail] test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slot.

[Tim Dillon]

Someday I will call upon you to do a service for me. Play the Godfather [e-mail] Welcome to the family. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply.

[Stavros Halkias]

Geico's motorcyc expertise gives me the coverage I need.

[Eldis]

Like 24. 7 claims. I'm on cloud nine.

[Tim Dillon]

Clouds are wholly unable to support the weight of an adult human. What's happening? Furthermore, clouds are not numbered. Even if you procured a jetpack and searched, you'd find no cloud numbered nine. However, at that altitude, you'd likely befriend a flock of migrating snow geese. Geese who'd encourage you to leave your 24.7geico motorcycle claims insurance behind, as they would take you in and even share their dinner of crickets and clovers with you. GEICO assumes no liability for any indigestion that may occur from a clover cricket dinner. GEICO expertise for your motorcycle.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, fucking eldest. You piece of. Welcome to Stavi's World. Elvis screwed up the. I guess we shouldn't curse right up top. Or we'll probably get demonetized. Because who knows what Tim's gonna say anyway. So it doesn't really matter.

[Tim Dillon]

The show's over.

[Stavros Halkias]

So I guess telling elders to go fuck himself doesn't matter as Tim nakedly courts the levers of power as he tries to get invited to Epstein's island two point.

[Tim Dillon]

I mean I'm. I'm trying my hard and it's. It's all. By the way. You know what's so sad? It's like. It'll be every. Like orgy is. Would be a no.

[Stavros Halkias]

It would be a hard no.

[Tim Dillon]

Even if we were so rich. That's the problem. We were really rich.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it would be tough cuz we.

[Tim Dillon]

Would be the guys who were like, no, we just borrowed the plane.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Right.

[Tim Dillon]

We literally just. They literally took us to Cleveland. They wouldn't even.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm on the flight logs. I went to. To. They just were. They were. I was. They, you know, padded their stats. Love it. Tim Dillon here. Back in Astoria. Back where, you know, 10 years ago. Both of us.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm still in the same apartment. You know, this is.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. But you kicked everyone out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Everyone else is gone. Now I live with my podcast, but that's right, the apartment that, you know, we. We split a lot of cabs from the stand. That's cuz you lived like two blocks over from podcast.

[Tim Dillon]

Now have become like a family for a lot of people. It's like we. As much money as we have is the saddest life imaginable. Like, I just want to let everyone know that. That are envious of the financial benefits. It is because what you just said. I live with my podcast.

[Stavros Halkias]

My podcast is my roommate.

[Tim Dillon]

And how many people feel like these cameras that I'm looking at are the children?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Tim Dillon]

It's so funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely. No, because it's like, you know, all.

[Tim Dillon]

You know, comics from the. Whatever, you know, the past.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Tim Dillon]

You'd have a TV show and you'd have a bunch of like, writers and you'd see cameramen every day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Now with this, you see like one dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

You feel like an emperor of a little. Of a little kingdom. Everybody loves Raymond.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's a hundred people sucking on Raymond's dick.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I got eldest.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I see my friend. Right. I have to. And then what happens is you have to order your friends around.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

So now you don't even have a pure friendship anymore. They're your employees.

[Tim Dillon]

And then you have to go, like, you have to schedule, which is the craziest thing. You're like, Well, I guess 11:30.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And you're do. And there's nothing to do the whole day. There's nothing to do the whole day. I guess one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1131. How do we say? How does that sound, fellas? I know the scheduling is hilarious. I have to. That's most. I do more scheduling. I do actual talking on the microphone, like just texting my friends, like, what do you think? And I know none of us have really anything to do. Comedians either have nothing to do or they weirdly have. I have a 90 minute window for the next two months.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're like, all right, whatever, man. Let's just. Let's just fudge. Look, I don't give a fog. We just got to get this. We just got to produce 90 minutes of content for the YouTube channel. We got to feed the algorithm. That's what it comes down.

[Tim Dillon]

We got to feed the beast.

[Stavros Halkias]

I do love that you're wearing sunglasses that like, black China would wear that you're wearing, like, first of all, black.

[Tim Dillon]

I actually. I actually am a huge fan of black China's mother. Tokyo Tony. Do you know Tokyo? Do you know Tokyo Tony? She screams at homeless people in the street, but then gives them money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, Shalana Hunter. Tokyo Tony.

[Tim Dillon]

So the.

[Stavros Halkias]

They've both got the charming gap in their tooth.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, it's a family.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Like anything else, it's a family. It may not. Is it the ideal family? That's for people to decide. So Tokyo Tony will drive through downtown LA with money and go, you want it, right? You want it?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And then homeless people, many of them on drugs, will approach the car and she gives it to them and then yells at them about their decisions and stuff. That could be what I evolve into.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely. I could see that.

[Tim Dillon]

Like a charitable guy, but also with a lot of problems.

[Stavros Halkias]

You need to yell at someone.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, I gotta yell at like a homeless guy and then give him money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuz you need. Exactly.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Again, circling back to how pod. It's like you don't even have a family anymore.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You won't. You don't have a. You don't have a spoiled son.

[Tim Dillon]

Right. To.

[Stavros Halkias]

To treat that way.

[Tim Dillon]

Fully supposed to have a fat wife.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And be in the closet. And I never should have came. Like I'm fully supposed to live.

[Stavros Halkias]

You resent closeted Irish life. You resent your daughter for being hot and getting cocked.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right. I call her A.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because you're jealous.

[Tim Dillon]

I call her A. And then me and my wife just get fatter and fatter. Just sit. Just sexually unfulfilled, frustrated. And they get like, weirdly religious. Weirdly religious. And then the next year, reject it all. This is like something that Irish Catholics do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting.

[Tim Dillon]

It goes from like, real theocratic fascism.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes.

[Tim Dillon]

To Then the next year they go, there's nothing out there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

There's nothing. And then the next year, you're religious again.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right.

[Tim Dillon]

That should have been my life. But I sobered up, I came out of closet, and I started a podcast. So my life, oddly, is much emptier.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It'S actually terrible. I'm an honest person to a degree. It's kind of a terrible existence because there is such a. There's such a. Interesting to be in a web of lies. Has a great joke about it where he talks about, like, being in a web of lies so thick that one could just blow the whole house.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Tim Dillon]

That is a way to live.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, you're secure. The lies hold you in place. That's right. Is something about society, like, unfulfilled social norms.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

No one's happy, but they're just. They're moving forward.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's being like. It's like being in a beehive.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? You've just. You're just in that little hole. You got your little thing. Maybe the queen looks at you. She eats your jizz and beheads you or whatever the she does.

[Tim Dillon]

There's also something about being a functioning alcoholic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

That I think is. Provides a challenge to people.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's too much time in a day.

[Tim Dillon]

There's way too much if you're just way too much.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now we have phones to put. To put in the. The, you know, fill in the gaps. But back in the day, your hangover, getting drunk. You know what I mean? Like, there was a delicate balance where you would, you know, you could. All you need to do is get sober up enough, do three hours of work to keep your boss off your back.

[Tim Dillon]

Great little part of Queens, New York, called Rockaway Beach.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. I know about Rockaway Beach.

[Tim Dillon]

Has these little courts of Irish people where it's a court with bungalows and they all spend the summers there so they don't have to drive.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. They summer in Rockaway.

[Tim Dillon]

It's called a life hack. You know what I mean? And so they can walk to the beach and then they can walk back to their bungalow and then they can walk to the bar and then they can walk to the deli and so on and so forth.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Until the end.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Tim Dillon]

I grew up. My uncle had a bungalow there and I grew up seeing that community. And it is a very fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Genuine community. But you can't do it sober.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can't do it sober. Imagine that.

[Tim Dillon]

Do it. So you have to be. Because I went back there just a few months ago.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Tim Dillon]

To just say hello to some friends I hadn't seen in a very long time. And I was sober and I went, this isn't okay to be sober here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, it's to see the Pampers wash up on the Brighton beach shores. You know what I mean? Like to see the disgusting waters you've been swimming in. It's horror. I mean, because they come up to.

[Tim Dillon]

They just built a new hotel there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, man.

[Tim Dillon]

And they'll come up to you and they go, have you seen the hotel? And they're all happy. And then you realize why Irish people never did anything.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Like the Jews and the Arabs, they figured it out. This is when we. Sure. But like the Irish people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. They became cops.

[Tim Dillon]

No, but they just didn't do Anything. Because they go like this. They go. They. Their eyes get big. They go, have you seen the hotel? I mean, you've been in Manhattan. Right. But their point is, we can walk to the hotel and get intoxicated from our house.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right. The parking's easier.

[Tim Dillon]

The parking.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a con. Culture of convenience.

[Tim Dillon]

It's a culture of convenience.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hanging out.

[Tim Dillon]

If you think you're better than me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Tim Dillon]

You think you're better than me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yes. Yes, that's right. If everything. If everything is a fight. Yes. Every moment is a. Is a competition, then you feel like a victor, even if all you did was beat up your developmentally disabled cousin.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a victory.

[Tim Dillon]

That's correct.

[Stavros Halkias]

You count that. Whereas, like, you know, other cultures might say, why bother with this? Yes. Go to school.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. You know, Irish people, the big thing with. And I love them and I'm from there, and that's why.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's your stock.

[Tim Dillon]

I have a horrible. You know, I've had a horrible, you know, life. But it's my fault.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

You know what I mean? Like. And I mean, I've had a great life, too, but also horrible. But it's my fault. Like, when Irish people go, rough night? You made it a rough night.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right.

[Tim Dillon]

We did it. And. And we do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And we look for the problem.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

But then we get in so many of them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

That it is fair to say we've got trouble.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. The troubles.

[Tim Dillon]

We got issues. Because we go and find the things we shouldn't be.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

You know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean. And they're great domestic terrorists.

[Tim Dillon]

They're amazing.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're awesome. Shout out to the nra. They love Lizzie's in a Box.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes. They love the Palestinians so much.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Which is awesome.

[Tim Dillon]

Which is great. I'm. I'm all. It's been very sad what's happening over there. Yeah. But it's so much in Ireland. It's. It borders on like. Guys, wait a minute.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

There's a little bit of anti. Semitism creeping, like they. I've never seen them love anyone.

[Stavros Halkias]

They love pal. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I mean, I get it. Because just. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

They get to be. I mean, it's like when your history is oppression, you see it and it's like nobody else is saying it, so it seems crazy, but they're like, sure. Hey, should we maybe stop doing this?

[Tim Dillon]

Funny. You'll be in Ireland and then you just see a guy, like a c. Just an Irish guy painting this Muslim lady on the wall, and you go, well, that's lovely.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is awesome. I'd like.

[Tim Dillon]

It's a real solidarity there.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'd love to get a little Palestine. Like, we should have an exchange program. Gets for sure. Have you seen a video of. There's a.

[Tim Dillon]

You can get drunk in Palestine.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's a. There's a video of Palestinians speaking English and they're speaking with Irish, like, thick Irish accents.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because the only English people, like, the only, like, people that stuck around.

[Tim Dillon]

Irish people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

That's what's great. Here's the thing that's great about the Irish. They have a sense of justice.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

They have a sense of right and wrong, even though, well, in their own lives, they.

[Stavros Halkias]

Here's the thing.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

We have to, you know, we have to make a distinction between.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Irish from Ireland.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who are, like, persecuted, fighting against the British. Have a true sense of justice.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then American Irish, one generation, they're like, we'll be cops.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, nice. You'll give us sticks to beat the poorer types of people.

[Tim Dillon]

American Irish. We're just looking for a person to hit with a stick. And as soon as that became something that had a retirement plan. As soon as. As soon as there was a pension involved in hitting someone with a club, they got really into it.

[Stavros Halkias]

They took to it. Folks, here we are on the gorgeous tour bus. But I'm tired. I just got swole. It's a lot of travel. I'm dreaming of my relaxing, stylish bedroom at home where I have a thuma bed frame. That's right. You've heard me talk about how much I love Thuma. Looks incredible. Stylish as hell. Easy to put together. You know I'm a klutz. Five minutes. I put this thing together myself, and it takes me. Any other furniture takes me four hours. I have to call a friend to help me out. This looks so good. It's so solid. I love it. I think you'll love it, too. It's not just bed frames. They have all kinds of furniture for the bedroom. When I get back home, I'm going to redecorate my bed. I'm getting a new place in New York. You better believe I'm going to be hitting up thuma. I love them. I think you'll love them, too. Check out our pals at thuma to get $100 towards your first bed purchase. Go. Thuma co stavi. That's t h u m a co stavi to receive 100 bucks off your first bed purchase. Yeah, it is very funny how principled Irish. The Irish from Ireland are. And then every Irish friend of mine has been truly, you know, a drunk.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, I think a lot of it comes from the fact that, like, there. There's this pressure, like you said, to feel like you're constantly in a battle, even when you're not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, that's the thing. Like, it was. It's been like, obviously early on it was hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Tim Dillon]

For Irish people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Once they migrated out to like Long island in Jersey.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It got a lot better. Pretty easy, pretty quick.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Once you started going to the apple farms.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

You know, I don't think you're really, you know, under the thumb anymore.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Tim Dillon]

But nobody wants to let it go. Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, yeah, you can't just.

[Tim Dillon]

Nobody wants to go.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nobody wants to be just a person, a middle class person. Right. Nobody wants to be the type of person that can't. Doesn't have much to complain about.

[Tim Dillon]

What's fascinated me my whole life is the emptiness and beauty, weirdly, of like the American suburbs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And how they create some of the most interesting and worst people on earth.

[Stavros Halkias]

Definitely.

[Tim Dillon]

And that. That's the true landscape of America. The cities. We all know the cities and obviously we get it. But the suburbs have a mystery to them. And it's interesting to me. I've spent years living in them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You grew up on Long Island?

[Tim Dillon]

On Long Island, I grew up with these people. Brutally funny people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Brutally funny people. Terrible. And they're in me. That's who I am as well. We have the. Our instincts are selfish.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Absolutely.

[Tim Dillon]

You gotta fight them because you're all selfish.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Very selfish. Instant, like literally right as the fires are raging in Los Angeles, Ray. People are losing their homes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

People are dying. Okay. I call a friend of mine and I'm in the car and I say, I didn't come here for this.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the craziest response.

[Tim Dillon]

That's the cr. I go, I didn't come here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I came here for good weather.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I'm screaming now at the top of my. In a disgusting car. I won't even say the make of the car.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

But I'm screaming at my friend, I didn't come here for this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. But you know what? You. Here's the thing you did, because what you were dreaming of.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Was being so. Having lost touch so much. You know what I mean? Like. Like you always wanted to get to the point where you are in a luxury car. Yes. And you're, you know, what you're doing is Obscene. And then you should be drugged through the streets like Mussolini.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

For what you're doing.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know that. And you want to be able to behave that way you always wanted. That's again, I will give you credit.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because like, there's a lot of weird.

[Tim Dillon]

But I'm. I worry more about the people who don't admit they behave.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's what I'm saying. That's why I love you, Tim. Because. And we're friends for so at this point over a decade. And you have always openly said, I want to be a part of the ruling class.

[Tim Dillon]

I want to see. I want to see what it's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

I want to be. I want to taste the fruits that I did not earn. I want a friend who's made his money exploiting people. I want to be on the kinds of boats exploitation buys. And I respect that about you.

[Tim Dillon]

Everyone kind of wants. I really do. I believe most people kind of want it because I think that the people who loudly proclaim to not want it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Also weirdly want it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, everyone wants luxury. Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Everybody seems to want. I like. I don't want the responsibility of the ruling class. And I have no, like. I don't want to like oppress people. Cuz it takes effort and energy I don't have.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. That's the thing I want.

[Tim Dillon]

I want to see what it is. I really do.

[Stavros Halkias]

You want to be in the room.

[Tim Dillon]

I'm curious as to how the whole thing works.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right.

[Tim Dillon]

I don't think there's any value in. In. In. In. In not understanding.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Tim Dillon]

And as I've met. And I've met some of these.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, you have. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It is so boring.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's what I.

[Tim Dillon]

That's. It is so boring, Stavros.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It is unreal. It's the banality of evil or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's so true.

[Tim Dillon]

It is so boring. It is all just really. So someone could have like a 10th house.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Everyone for nothing.

[Stavros Halkias]

For a number to go up on a screen. People are dying.

[Tim Dillon]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's terrible. Crazy.

[Tim Dillon]

And you'd think it's like people talk about the. The occult and that there's some like these blood rights and all this like, interesting. Like maybe they're lizards that live in the earth. Or maybe they're all like united because.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of these blood rituals they do.

[Tim Dillon]

Maybe they're a different species or something. No, they actually just really are kind of trying to preserve their position.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

In. In. And. And most of them have no idea what's going on. And then there's 10 that are the ones who are really nefarious, real demons.

[Stavros Halkias]

And by the way, demons.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I. The one good thing Elon Musk has done is demystified rich guys. It's because it's sad. That's a tough guy for. For guys like you. Cuz he's a dork and a half and he's pathetic.

[Tim Dillon]

I've attacked him.

[Stavros Halkias]

I've said him.

[Tim Dillon]

Because I'm. I'm.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's no dignity in. There's no dignity anymore in. In pretending to win. Dude. He paid a guy to. To so he ranks higher in a video game.

[Tim Dillon]

It's so bad. But it actually shows you the emptiness of money, which it is. It. Life is not about having lots of money. It's about community and love and fam. It's about all the things that we know it's about.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

But what Elon has done, I think has exposed that there is no amount of money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. There's no amount of money that you can give a human being. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Where they won't vote Heil Hitler for kicks. There's no amount of money you can pay so much. Just don't just go, if we give you 3 million, just don't see God.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't do that.

[Tim Dillon]

And you go, it's not enough.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not enough.

[Tim Dillon]

A trillion won't be enough.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like it's so sad to want to. To be rich and care what people. To want people to think you're cool.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's. I mean, that's.

[Tim Dillon]

By the way.

[Stavros Halkias]

But that is the currency. They can't.

[Tim Dillon]

And that's what I hate about the manifestation of wealth now is that they know who I am.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Who you are.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Or who Andrew Schultz is or who. Or anybody they are. They like, like. I'm like, dude, you should be like, oh, you rat. Oh, you yell every week. This idea. There is something. There was something refreshing about people who just live in their castles in Greenwich, Connecticut or wherever. I like, yes. Evil.

[Stavros Halkias]

I like my Republicans in suits. These guys put a suit on.

[Tim Dillon]

These guys don't have a stylist for sure. They're too exposed to be really interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

They're too exposed to be interesting. There's no mystery to Elon, really.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I'm not like, oh, what makes him tick?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Everyone knows.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pathetically. Yeah. It's like a pathetic need for approval. It's like being a comedian.

[Tim Dillon]

But then I donated money to the fire people.

[Stavros Halkias]

There you go.

[Tim Dillon]

You know. And not the Rich ones.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I feel bad for the people in.

[Stavros Halkias]

The Palestine, of course, but they'll be okay.

[Tim Dillon]

Here's the reality. I also dislike a lot of them.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have some personal enemies.

[Tim Dillon]

Personal enemies that I just don't like.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's. There's people that dislike.

[Tim Dillon]

I get looks. You. They. If you give my fat ass a look in ear wand when I'm eating my burrito and your house burns down. Well, maybe God got involved.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. I mean that is. You are truly the like.

[Tim Dillon]

But here's the other thing somebody said to me. There's all the socialists and stuff like that. They go, you make the rich more uncomfortable than anyone because I go to the places they are and I sit there and they're horrified.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And so it is something where it's like I grew up with these movies like Trading Places or Curly sue or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was just gonna say this, but go ahead. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I grew up with these things. We're homeless or Caddyshack. We're homeless type people.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's the flip. Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Would then go and invade these spaces. And I do that all the time. I just walk into these places is. And not everyone is thrilled.

[Stavros Halkias]

No. Well, that's what I was gonna say. You're the stereotype of the. You are the fat, loudmouth, Long Islander guy. And they're like, there goes the. You're. There goes the neighborhood for billionaires.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? It's like.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is a white guy.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it's a fat, low class Irish voice.

[Tim Dillon]

Is working class.

[Stavros Halkias]

The voice.

[Tim Dillon]

It's a very working class guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

So. So they're not thrilled with it. So it's my own little. I mean would now respect it. Who knows? I know many of your audience is like, it's not enough. It will never be enough. But it'll never be enough. But it's something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. It is wild to watch to Elon stuff and it's wild to watch the tech people in general because of the rich people that I've seen in my life or have met. The tech people are by far the creepiest.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Tim Dillon]

And their intentions are by far, yes, the worst. And I did a whole episode where I talked about it where I'm like, I don't think they care not only about America. I don't think they're fans of humanity.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

I don't think it gets them excited.

[Stavros Halkias]

These are people who don't understand the simple pleasures of an Irish drunken fist fight. And. And Bacon, egg and cheese.

[Tim Dillon]

Bacon, egg and cheese.

[Stavros Halkias]

Trying to have intercourse, but your dick's soft from all the drugs in your system.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

They don't know what that's like. They biohacked their dicks hard.

[Tim Dillon]

Or you're gay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or you're gay. Y.

[Tim Dillon]

Whatever reason, your penis isn't working.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. We come at the issue from two separate sides.

[Tim Dillon]

Whatever it is, whatever the reason, or you're drunk and gay enough. You know, they don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

They don't know the imperfect beauties of life, you know, and they don't. They don't take a joy from what it means to be a human being.

[Tim Dillon]

I've always said, like, you shouldn't get too much richer than being able to, like, appreciate living by a body of water.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, you should be able to go, you know, I live by the beach. That's kind of cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Tim Dillon]

You shouldn't get so. So, so crazy rich that you go, how do I terraform another planet? I do believe that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

I do believe.

[Stavros Halkias]

Some stops here, folks. We need some caps here. We need a higher. You know, and. And it is. Yeah, it's like these tech guys. Like, the worst thing in the world is Zuckerberg clearly going on testosterone. Because now he's like, I'm cool. I can fight.

[Tim Dillon]

No, it's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now I'm masculine.

[Tim Dillon]

None of it's good. They should never appear. They should appear in public twice a year. They should appear in public twice a year. Like, by the way, that's the way the old school guys used to do it. They would show up at like a shareholder meeting and then once at court.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Tim Dillon]

And they would show up like twice a year.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And they didn't like being photographed and they didn't like being. And Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

They didn't like it.

[Tim Dillon]

They hated it.

[Stavros Halkias]

And here's the other thing. How about. What happened to throwing us a fucking bone? What? I'm sure the Carnegies and the fucking, you know, the Vanderbilts, the Rockefeller, they sucked your great grandfathers dry. They took them for all they were worth. They didn't pay them a living wage. But we got a fucking opera house out of it.

[Tim Dillon]

Give us a theater.

[Stavros Halkias]

Theater. Give us a library, you fox.

[Tim Dillon]

Give us the Zuckerberg center for the Performing Arts. Let me see Gypsy at the Zuckerberg Theater for the Performing Arts.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, let me play the Zuckerberg.

[Tim Dillon]

By the way, stars. That's such a great point. How nightmarish is it going to be in like 20 years if they Start doing that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where it's like.

[Tim Dillon]

You're sitting there. You're like.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's all. AI Generated ballet.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. Where are we gonna see this? We're going to the Sam Altman Center. Just make a left. It's just gonna be a night. And it's just these five tech freaks. Every street is named after them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. No, I mean, that's fucking. That's everything. Every person you know, every name we know. Like, I saw a list of, like, the only slaveholders in New York.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's every street name. Every street. There's 12. Yeah. There's 12 guys that had slaves.

[Tim Dillon]

Second door.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's every street you know in New York. It's like, every fucking pie. And these current billionaires won't even do that. They won't even. They just want to be cool. They want to do jiu jitsu. And it's like, just be a dork. I'm shocked at the people that are ruining the world are such fucking losers.

[Tim Dillon]

I wish that there was a way that I could get in a room with them and sit them all down and go, I know what you want to do. Yeah, but you're losing right now. It's not good. And if you would just listen to me. Because evil's not easy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I'd have a course. It would be called Evil's Not Easy. And it would be about how to be a villain, how to be a real villain. I. I have studied and respected the real villains. Without them, you don't have heroes. It's true. It's true. Light, you need to push against something. What are you pushing again?

[Stavros Halkias]

Beautiful? Yes. This.

[Tim Dillon]

I. I'm so. I. Evil's not easy. And it's. Of course. And it's me. And I sit in a room with Vivek. Right. Elon and Zuck.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And Tim Cook, who's somehow. Like, just. This was strange. Like, is he. AI. Is he alive?

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know about that.

[Tim Dillon]

And Altman, he's Apple guy. And then Altman and all these guys. And I go, listen, guys, I like. And I. And I. And I give them props. I go, sam Altman, what you're doing in Africa is good because it's out of view. So that's good.

[Stavros Halkias]

The fact you're evil, know what you're up to? That's very evil. Tennessee.

[Tim Dillon]

Giving everyone a biometric crypto when they're born. So you could just give them money so you can enslave them in a cast system. But you're doing it in Africa. We don't really know what it is and no one's really reporting on. And that whistleblower turns up dead. You're on the right track.

[Stavros Halkias]

Whistleblower's dead is one of the most classic forms of evil possible.

[Tim Dillon]

Elon Seing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

On America's Got Talent.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on. Good.

[Tim Dillon]

That's not good. Zuckerberg. A three hour thing with Ro. That's not great.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not great. The Nazi shit is like. It's like, not only are you a fucking piece of shit, but it's like you're a hack. You couldn't come up with something.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, it's like, it's weird because it's clearly. And listen, I. I don't. I don't know that the guy. I don't think he's a Nazi, but I don't know. Is he trolling? But it is a. You're a weird. Salute that. There's no other. There's no other way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. There's no positive.

[Tim Dillon]

I agree.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you're trolling, you're a 50 year old. Bill.

[Tim Dillon]

No, no, no. It's not good if he's trolling. But I'm wondering, like, what. What is he doing?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

What is the thought process?

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, I really think it's pretty simple. And it's like.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Every time he's tried, he. He's a masterclass in losing public support. Because remember like 10 years ago in. If you're watching any movie and they have like, it's Iron Man.

[Tim Dillon]

Oh, it's a cool story.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, Iron man calls Musk and he's like, yeah, I'm using some of the tec. Or if they ever needed shorthand for a genius in the mo, you know, if it's a period piece, they say Einstein.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ten years ago, they say Elon Musk. Everyone viewed him as a genius.

[Tim Dillon]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then it became when he started posting and it's like, wait, this guy's just stealing memes and tweets?

[Tim Dillon]

I think the problem is the exposure level. I think that totally. What always interests me a lot about people is that people lust for our fame.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Which has so many downsides.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's bad.

[Tim Dillon]

Not a ton of downsides. Like, there are downsides.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, for sure.

[Tim Dillon]

But there's a lot less.

[Stavros Halkias]

Too much of it. It needs to your soul, whatever. But you can get past that.

[Tim Dillon]

But fame's a whole. It's a very like paradigm shifting thing. It's destabilizing. It's weird. And what's interesting to me is about his lust for fame.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

I think is one of those things that makes me slightly uncomfortable. I think him and Trump. Trump are about to have a showdown. I think it's coming.

[Stavros Halkias]

That will be hilarious.

[Tim Dillon]

I. I think it's coming.

[Stavros Halkias]

I. I really believe it's the finals of, like, RuPaul's drag race level.

[Tim Dillon]

I mean, Trump's gonna.

[Stavros Halkias]

Trump's gonna handle him.

[Tim Dillon]

It's not even close.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's gonna handle him. He's gonna handle.

[Tim Dillon]

It's gonna.

[Stavros Halkias]

Bus does not know what's coming his way. Well, that's why what I'm going back to the Sig Heil.

[Tim Dillon]

See him as a fall guy, too. Trump might be looking at him and going like, well, let him just do what he's doing.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's what scares me, is a not fan of Trump is like, he will figure out a way to harness how much of a fucking loser Elon is and get out of some serious trouble. And, yeah, we will actually be happy.

[Tim Dillon]

We'll be like, the thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good job, Trump. For a second.

[Tim Dillon]

You know, if you've watched. If you watch him, I've never met him. I know people that know him well. He has these weird political instincts that no one knows where they're from, but they're. They're unmatched and they're. And they're all. He's always weirdly, like, hitting the note when he needs to hit the note.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And I think one of the reasons he looked at this whole thing and he goes, I need guys around me who can go down.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

I think he looks at it and goes, I need some guys around me. I think you can go down.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I think he's got, like, a tabloid mind.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He knows, like, big, like, what's reality tv? Reality TV is what it is.

[Tim Dillon]

It's like he's manufactured.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

You know, and I. I think what he. He's been able to do is, like, look at guys who think they're using him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

I believe they all think they're using him. I think he's going, no, no, I'm using you. You don't even know it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

I know you think you're using me, and I'm actually using you. That's what I think.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I don't know, because it is law. Again. Queen's real estate developer, all of those. It's kind of like that Irish of like, he grew. He's taking that, like, down and dirty.

[Tim Dillon]

He knows the things that we're saying these guys have no clue about. About. He's observed them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

He's not in fist fights and all.

[Stavros Halkias]

These working class things.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, but he's observed them. He gets what he goes, oh, I get what that guy got out of that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Tim Dillon]

So he's able to get. So I. I think him and Elon are on a crash course.

[Stavros Halkias]

That will be very interesting. We'll see what happens. You know, hopefully. Personally, I'd love to see them both take each other out, but, you know, whatever. This episode of Star World. That's right. Is sponsored by booking.combooking.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. Huh.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're here on the tour bus, but I'm tired of sleeping on the bunk every day. Okay. It's nice, but sometimes you want to. You want to stretch your legs, you want a real bed, you want a nice someplace with a nice gym somewhere near the. Near the theater that I'm staying. That's why when I don't feel like sleeping on this bus, on this Tour, I'm using booking.com and I'm looking for the amenities I like. I've been getting swole. I need a nice hotel, gym. I need it to be near, you know, like I said, theaters that I'm performing. Maybe you want to go see someone perform. You want a hotel near that. Maybe you want to go to the beach. Whatever it is, booking.com has got it for you. Whatever you're looking for, they got all kinds of hotels and stays. Go to the website. You're going to enjoy looking at it. I love it. You're, like I said, nature guy. They got stuff for you out in nature. You're going to love it no matter who you are. Booking.com helps you find the stay. That's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking dot com. Booking. Yeah. Have you ever had a fall guy situation? Have you ever had, like.

[Tim Dillon]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Growing up or maybe when you're on cocaine selling subprime mortgages, was there ever, like, did you ever see anybody go down? Did you ever see anybody's life ruined?

[Tim Dillon]

No one's life got ruined just because they committed financial crimes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Right.

[Tim Dillon]

I don't know if you've been to America. I know you're Greek and you're Scott. Here. Welcome. No, I. I've never seen. No, truly, to be honest with you. Because it was all predominantly legal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Subprime mortgages were never illegal. Fraud's illegal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

But subprime mortgages were never legal. You alleviate the burden of illegality when you just go. You don't have to Ask for someone's income.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

So it was all legal stuff. And then the taxpayers bailed out these guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Guys, sure.

[Tim Dillon]

And everybody kind of was, you know, relatively unscathed. I mean, I knew guys that were super, really bad doing fraud, and they got in trouble, but that was years later. They started doing, like, loan modifications and like that. But I was never at the top. I was like a little guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cold calling.

[Tim Dillon]

This is nobody.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. So take me through your, like, the. Like, the timeline of your jobs. You started your lifeguard hard.

[Tim Dillon]

I was a life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, you were a child.

[Tim Dillon]

6 to 12.

[Stavros Halkias]

What did you. Oh, yeah, we talked about on your podcast.

[Tim Dillon]

A lot of stuff. Never, never, never. Never got molested.

[Stavros Halkias]

Never got molested was hot. Do you think that would have made you straight somehow?

[Tim Dillon]

It might not only be straight, it would have made me successful, which I also wasn't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Tim. On Nickelodeon.

[Tim Dillon]

I was on, like, Sesame street, which is, like, free.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

There was no money in that. It was like, public television with the bowl. That's how far I got.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Public television.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And your parents were supportive of you being a child? How do you even.

[Tim Dillon]

They kind of were. That was that. There was a certain boomer thing where they were like, my kid's a star, and he's gonna bail me out of the mess I've gotten myself.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, sure, we're in a hell of a lot of debt.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

But wait till they get a load of him, right? And they. Yeah, where he can tap dance and he could get us out of debt. And this still goes on. It's like every lunatic dad who's in the bleachers screaming that their son's going to be the Heisman winner.

[Stavros Halkias]

The Costco guys, all of it.

[Tim Dillon]

All of it. It's. It's a very American thing to pimp your children out, to get out of horrible death that you've got into. It's an incredibly American thing to look at your child and go, actually, we're not. You're a star.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're. You're going to do it. You're going to sing our way out of this.

[Tim Dillon]

So then I got. When I was, like, 11 or 12, I started to gain weight, and it was over. You go through puberty, it's over. I mean, these ca. Casting directors, they throw you out. They throw you.

[Stavros Halkias]

You hit the wall at 11.

[Tim Dillon]

No. No one's trying to take you to the Palm. You know, like, this is. No one wants to go to Smith Wolinsky's with you. And then I started doing, like, Junior lifeguard. And then I was a lifeguard at a beach club, which meant I never saved anyone.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

No one deserved to be saved.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Right. It was. I was a pool lifeguard. They would bring you food. You would sit in the chair, and they'd bring chicken rolls.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Pizza. And you'd sit there and eat meat. And then the. The owner of the beach club would go, you guys can't eat in the chair. He goes, it's actually disgusting. And. And we would look and we'd have, like, barbecue sauce on our face. Barbecue chicken pizza. And, you know, once we missed a save, he came up to me, he goes, you guys, the. The mother said she had to jump in and save her food and not you guys. And we were like, we don't even. We don't even know what you're talking. It was. It was. It was one of those things where it was like, you just abuse power, you know, don't run. Stop running.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Stop running. No running on the deck.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

You know what I mean? Like, stuff like that. And then that was over. And then I did. I went to, you know, I finished high school, and then I got into mortgages. I was cold calling out of high school. Yeah. Like a community college. After community college, it would go and just cold call mortgages. And that was right on the cusp of it ending. This was like 2000, 2004 or 5. Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You got in part time.

[Tim Dillon]

They were robbing me. I never got, like, the money. I just. They. They're like, yeah, yeah, we'll get you a commission on the deal with pay on the day. And you, you know, dumb. Like, of course they give you a grand every now and then, a couple of grand here and there. And then I made a little bit of money, and I was enough where I was like, oh, maybe this would be a career. And then immediately, as soon as I made any money, it just. Mortgage meltdown, total collapse.

[Stavros Halkias]

You bought a house too, weren't you?

[Tim Dillon]

I bought a house. I was 22.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

21 years old, and I bought a house. 00 down.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

No money down. 600, 000 house, 22 years old. Rented half of it. They were like, just buy it and rent it. You'll be good. And. And it. It worked for a couple years. And then. And it was like, oh, I. Then I was way underwater. The house was like. I was like 200 grand underwater.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I talked to people that go, just. It. Just leave.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And I just left because there was nothing to do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

And then I just Moved to New York City. I had no credit score for 10 years.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

And I worked jobs, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now where's the house? What's up with the house now? Who's living there now, man? Do you know?

[Tim Dillon]

I don't know. I mean, somebody.

[Stavros Halkias]

You should go in.

[Tim Dillon]

I should knock on the door.

[Stavros Halkias]

Knock on the door. That's a good podcast.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, that was. People say to me all the time, they go, when you were like, really drugged up, coked out and drunk.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

What do you regret doing? And usually everybody has some story about like, oh, I. Some chick or I, I did some thing and I go, I bought a home. I bought. I. I bought out. I was one of the only people in Mon island. Coked out at open houses, just walking, going, like, yeah, but what if you took the wall down? This master suite's big.

[Stavros Halkias]

The wall down. We could put, maybe put a whole mirror up on the wall.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe a disco ball right here.

[Tim Dillon]

So it's like. Yeah. And then that was a big disaster. That was my first foray into being a real estate investor.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Terrible.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

And then I was broke. That's when I met you guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Having no money, being like a tour guide, doing a stand up comedy in. In Astoria, Queens.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's right. I love that. And so what is the, what's the thought process of your. Because you're an only child, right?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so what's the pro. Did your parents get divorced? At what age?

[Tim Dillon]

Like, they got divorced seventh grade. They had a mediator. They couldn't afford lawyers. They got a mediator, lasted for two years. They lived in the house despite each other, you know, and that's okay because I only turned out to be a closeted go gay cocaine addict who enthusiastically supported the Iraq war. So, so they thank God I wasn't aff, you know, thank God that was okay. But no, I love them both.

[Stavros Halkias]

But throw the Iraq wars.

[Tim Dillon]

They were, they were just. It's spite. The Long island is driven by spite and grievance.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It is a place driven by spite and grievance. That generation of people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Specifically. It's why they're so funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

That's why they're so funny. It's funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

It boils up.

[Tim Dillon]

They never caught it like, I caught it like when I'm in my car going, I didn't move here for this sucks. And I'm like, oh my God, people are losing everything. Why am I even having these thoughts? I catch it and I realize it's monstrous.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

You gotta catch It. I have it. But you catch it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

They never caught it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Tim Dillon]

They never caught it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

They would go, you know, my father said to my cousin this. This summer we had a barbecue. He goes. She goes, how was Covid for you? And he goes, well, he goes, I've been unlucky in my life, but he's a wine salesman. He goes, yeah, I was lucky during COVID because people drank a lot of wine. Now he's been unlucky in my. His life. Straight, white, healthy guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Who's had ev. It's been great.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Was in a band. Probably got a lot of, like, Everything was fine.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Was fine. To say I've been unlucky in my life is the most psychotic statement to make.

[Stavros Halkias]

Born in the best generation in history. Everything. Everything.

[Tim Dillon]

But it was just funny the way he said. He goes, you know, my life's been unlucky, been tough. It's been hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

He might have been just talking about you and your mother. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

For sure. And by the way. But he created me some responsibility for that.

[Stavros Halkias]

I agree. Agree.

[Tim Dillon]

And you married her. You know what I mean? So what do you. You know what I mean? He's. And he was no pro. Nobody was a.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Tim Dillon]

No one in my house. And I want to say this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Just in case there's any confusion. In case there's any confusion, no one in my house was a prize. Nobody won anything in my house.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

It was not a carnival where anybody won.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. No one walked away with the big teddy bear.

[Tim Dillon]

Was no big teddy bear in my house. But it was just. They lived together and. And. And. And it was rough. My grandmother was a saint, and she raised me kind of. And I love her. And she's a reason.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your mom or dad's side.

[Tim Dillon]

My mother's side. And then my grandfather was a really good guy as well on my father's side. I didn't see him enough. He was a great guy, an entrepreneur. He was a lot, you know, I respected him a lot. Loved him and respected him because he came from Ireland, had no money, was a general contractor, and work worked right. And had a big family and kept them all together and did, you know, did the thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

So did you have cousins and my.

[Tim Dillon]

Cousin'S a huge fan of you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Massive. He lives close.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, nice.

[Tim Dillon]

Huge fan.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love it. That's so fat. Yeah. Because it's like. It is interesting. And do you know what they just got divorced for? Just because. Did one. Did your dad. Did anybody cheat? What's going on?

[Tim Dillon]

My father was my Mother was schizophrenic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

And she was. Those issues were coming job. And my father was as schizophrenic as she was. He was like very. He was like kind of a lazy guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And he would kind of like, you know, like a famous story is like I was. I. The bus pulled up outside and my father was just laying on a couch watching Sally Jesse Raphael at 3pm My mother goes, your son's walking in the house. You should probably turn that off. And he goes. And then I just walk in. And Sally Jesse.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Would be like dealing with teen pregnancies.

[Tim Dillon]

Dealing with all that stuff. And my dad's sitting there at 3 p p.m. yeah. He's a great guy but he just wasn't like let's light the world on fire with ambition. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

No ambition. Your mom's.

[Tim Dillon]

And then my mom's losing. My dad had like a band so he would like practice music in the.

[Stavros Halkias]

House even while you were like. Yeah. He was doing that as. Yeah. What was his job while you were growing?

[Tim Dillon]

He was selling photocopiers. And then my mother was a swim teacher.

[Stavros Halkias]

And jamming.

[Tim Dillon]

And jamming. So I'd fall asleep every night. Like he'd be in a studio. Bye bye Miss America with all of his friends. And like my mother would be like out to eat my. They would just go out to eat. My mother go out to eat every night and take me out to eat to like some. She loved Greek diners. My mother loved a nice Greek diner.

[Stavros Halkias]

That makes sense.

[Tim Dillon]

And she would just hang out there because they hated each other.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting. And she's taking you. You develop the scent you. Because you are a big diet. You're a fine diner of all levels though. I respect that. You'll eat the grimy as if it's good.

[Tim Dillon]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you'll eat the.

[Tim Dillon]

We'll go high. But we'll go. What does Michelle Obama says when they go high?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's, that's.

[Tim Dillon]

That's where I feel a little bit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. I get that.

[Tim Dillon]

But no, it's that song Brendan Annie from Billy Joel. But it's really not like it's. It's such a sanitized version of it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Where he's like, they got an apartment with a couple of paintings from Sears. They didn't account for the tears. It's like, hey Billy, why don't you go into that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Cuz it's like it's really like she's that schizophrenic and lazy. The guy who's never put the work into his music. The son's gay and on cocaine and supports you around war. You know, it's like, you know, that's the secret.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

That's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where do you ever. What's, do you worry about the schizophrenia stuff?

[Tim Dillon]

How I talk to doctors. They're like, no, they go. It's usually really becomes obvious when you're younger. You know it's not hereditary. Usually in the sense that you would get it later in life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Tim Dillon]

You usually get kind of.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm gonna tell you right now, looking at you with no contact, but by the way, a guy who looks like this and his job is talking by himself into a microphone for hours, I would not be worried about it.

[Tim Dillon]

I created a life where schizophrenia increases this. It's actually better. It's actually better. Imagine better. Imagine four hours of me on Joe Rogan with schizophrenia where I'm just like. And then I spoke. And then Joe, a guy showed up at my house and he wanted, wanted to take me to a secret installation. And Joe go, how do you think he knew where to live? Mom.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

What do you think? It's interesting, you know, so, you know, that is true.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have figured that out. I have to give you credit. You would be.

[Tim Dillon]

No, it's not like I have a, I'm a team leader at a bank.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it would be at least one year before you had to start stop doing your job.

[Tim Dillon]

How would they even diagnose?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

But no, I don't, I, I, I, I think that I will. I think of the health things to worry about. Sure. As my doctors repeatedly told me, that's not even in the top 10. He's like, there are severe things you should actually be thinking.

[Stavros Halkias]

I actually just went to the doctor.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And he was like, yeah. I mean, your brain is the only healthy thing. Thing. He was like, he, I did like a full body scan, you know. Yeah, I got. My back's up. Apparently. I got, you know, just a little bit of pre. They're like, you got to get your, your just a little, your lipids are a little high, all that. Like. Sure. Everything is pre. Pre heart disease, pre diabetes.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, it's.

[Stavros Halkias]

How far is that pre, man?

[Tim Dillon]

Well, you know what it is? It's, It's. I blame the government for putting the poison in the food.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're actually right about that.

[Tim Dillon]

I mean, you know, it is funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

That does get the shittiest. Like, go anywhere else. The food is better.

[Tim Dillon]

You can eat bread. Canada, Europe and the UK without problems.

[Stavros Halkias]

Even Canada gets better food than us. And everybody right there.

[Tim Dillon]

Everybody.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It is hilarious how much. And that goes back to secret rich guys who never want to do. The guys who put the poison.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

We don't know their names.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because they.

[Tim Dillon]

And they're more powerful than the CIA.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

People are like, what do you think the. This administrator. Because every administration goes in, they go, we're going to do X, Y and Z. And they get maybe half of X.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

I go, trump. And those guys want to clean out the intelligence community. They're not going to be able to do that. They won't. But you know who will, really? I think after four years, RFK will maybe get a warning label on the uncrustable. That's, like, as far as that's going to go.

[Stavros Halkias]

You'll. If you keep your fucking trembling hands off the uncrustable, you prick. No, but, like, I'm coming for you, motherfucker.

[Tim Dillon]

If you think the Pentagon has power, Nestle has more.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

They have more. They weirdly have more power. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's that time. An old friend. Bluechew. No frills here, folks. You know what this does? Your little prick is soft. Let's stiffen it up. Me, I'm not. This is a personal endorsement. I've been a fan of Bluechew, the service, for years. So easy. No going in and out of the doctor's office. Online, you check in with your doctor, they make sure everything's right, that you're healthy enough. Here's how I know it really works. They rejected me in the past. I had to get healthy before I got to get back on Bluechew. But, you know the crack team is working around the clock to make sure your prick is stiff as a board. That's right. Be ready when she needs it. And get your first month of Bluechew free. Great sex is a few clicks away. Sign [e-mail], consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. Doesn't that sound nice? I think it's nice to have more horsepower. Nuff said. Make life easier by getting harder. And discover your [e-mail] and we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try your first month of Bluechew free. When you use promo code STAVI. S, T, A, V, V, Y. Just pay five bucks in shipping. Shipping. That's promo code STAVI. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety Information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Did you have a favorite snack as a fat child? Was there like a go to. Was there like a. Yeah, well, well.

[Tim Dillon]

Number one, I love the Yankee Doodle because it came in a package of three.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. Yankee Doodles.

[Tim Dillon]

Yodels were two HOHOs. Were two Yankee Doodles doodle gave you the third little cupcake. So a Yankee Doodle.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Tim Dillon]

A frozen Yodel can change the game.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. I've even considered popping a yoga. Love that.

[Tim Dillon]

In my high school and then my middle school, whatever it was. Primary school, middle school and high school cafeteria. A frozen yodel.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love that.

[Tim Dillon]

We'll do it. We'll do a nice thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love that. And now, and now, because you've become such a gourmand. Is there, by the way, what a.

[Tim Dillon]

Horrible thing to call someone. It's worse than just saying the word.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, that's good, that's positive.

[Tim Dillon]

But it's just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, it sounds fat, but it just means you appreciate fine foods.

[Tim Dillon]

I just imagine like my me sitting there and talking to my doctor go, no, no, no, you don't understand, I'm a gourmand. He goes, no, you're dying.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you have a real, like a real. What's a one bite thing? What's just like the best thing you've had in the la. Like a meal? You think about, this is just fat guys talking now.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, like, you know, we're just talking about, you know, because for me it's just like I'm a simple guy, I'm a steak guy and I had some actual wagyu that just like I went to a steakhouse in. I went to Major Domo. It was just like just a little morsel of fatty stuff. And then the same thing with like, I love fatty. What can I say, right? I love wagyu. And then I love, like I went to a, a higher end sushi place and just the fatty tuna there.

[Tim Dillon]

One of the things when I'm in New York City, there's a clam bar and sheep's a bay called Randazzo's Clam Bar.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love that they have the best.

[Tim Dillon]

Red sauce in the world. And just a bite of a fried calamari smothered in red sauce.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

You know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, a fresh calamari to me is.

[Tim Dillon]

Very hard to beat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And I love that I have a birthday party tonight at the stand. I mean there's part of me that when I just said that thinks, why don't I just not go to it and just go eat calamari alone. Yeah, yeah, in the bowels.

[Stavros Halkias]

You would have a better time.

[Tim Dillon]

You know what the best time to go to that clam bar is in the winter. It's snow, Maui, there's no one there. And you just have some zupa, the clams.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love this.

[Tim Dillon]

And you have some fried calama, sit there and you just watch Russian people discuss things. Yeah, that sounds native tongue.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love that. Great answer. Well, look, we had to get a couple now my. Now I'm hungry. Now I'm not gonna give a. About the rest of this podcast we got. We gotta, you know, give some advice to the people, Tim. And then of course, anything you want to plug here in the, in the middle of the episode, I have a.

[Tim Dillon]

Podcast and then I, you know, know I have stand up dates on the web. You know, whatever, Tim.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dylan.com. whatever the comedy.com. dylan comedy.com.org. actually, everything.

[Tim Dillon]

They just took down the constitution. They're putting up my dates. They just took down the constitution. Putting up me and Theo Von's dates are going on White House.gov. so if you just want to purchase tickets to the show.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You can get a tax credit. Yeah. If you go, if you go see Tim, it's all right.

[Tim Dillon]

You can write it all off.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can write a Patreon subscription to five Guys Off. Go ahead, Eldis. What do we got here?

[Tim Dillon]

Hey there, stuff. Hey there, stuff. Long time listener.

[Eldis]

First I saw it guests. So I have a limited bit of an issue. Not really an issue, but whatever. So recently my wife and I took a trip and used my sister's car to go on said trip.

[Tim Dillon]

And we went through like a couple.

[Eldis]

Calls or whatever and racked up, you know, a couple dollars in fines, you know.

[Tim Dillon]

Sure.

[Eldis]

But what happened was the tolls got sent to my sister's previous address and racked up like an insane amount of like, like fees and stuff. Like late fees and what was supposed.

[Tim Dillon]

To be like a four or five dollar fee ended up being like a.

[Eldis]

Seventy to dollar eighty fee.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Eldis]

And so my sister is supposed to.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, you know, renew her car or.

[Eldis]

Whatever, and she can't because there's these outstanding fines that she has to pay.

[Tim Dillon]

And she like called me and was.

[Eldis]

Like, hey, just so you know, you owe me 75.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Eldis]

You know, for the cold. So just get that to me whenever.

[Tim Dillon]

And mind you, my sister is way better off by.

[Eldis]

Bucks is a lot to me at the moment.

[Tim Dillon]

So I'm like in a little bit of a pickle Trying to figure out what am I supposed to do, by the way. You know what's so funny?

[Stavros Halkias]

Just.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, let me know. I agree.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let you know.

[Tim Dillon]

He goes like this. He goes, what am I supposed to do? So the choices are pay her $75 or stop speaking your sister. What are the. Like, what are the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are the choices here also? You're so fully in the wrong. Like. Like, there is no question here. There's no. Like, you say you're hard up for money. Okay, so it's 75 bucks. What if you totaled her car and you owed her thousands of dollars. She's supposed to just buy a new car and be like, no big deal. Wasn't your fault. Like, if you cre. If, like you get a ticket. If you get a ticket, your car gets to code. That's 300 bucks. You still did it. You still owe it to her. If you do something bad to someone, you have to make it up. I mean, there's no.

[Tim Dillon]

I borrowed my roommate during COVID Becky Robinson, very funny comedian. I borrowed her Infinity and I drove it to Nobu Malibu. And they would give you sushi and you eat it in a parking lot. It wasn't open, so I would just get to go sushi. And then pulling into the spot, I fucked up her car. And I was like. And I did the right thing. Obviously, I. I paid for it or whatever. Because when you borrow someone's car, this is a rule.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I think when you borrow someone's car for any reason, no matter what. Ha. Even if you are in the. If you get hit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

If something happened, you're responsible.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fully 100.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This happened to me. I actually. And maybe you're over here saying, these two fat, rich up suckers, they don't know what it's like. This happened to me when I first moved to Queens.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where I. And in fact, I had a little more of a case.

[Tim Dillon]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because I moved the car for a friend.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

They asked me to.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I didn't see that. I parked in a place for a ticket. I was like, I'm doing you. Like. But even though I was doing them a favor, when you agree to do something. Yeah. I should have looked at the sign lines. And I was at 150 bucks when I was. Whatever.

[Tim Dillon]

You're broke.

[Stavros Halkias]

I had just moved to New York. I had no job. I was living off my. Like, I had a fixed thousand dollars left. You got it before I Like, whatever. And I had to do it, man. I. You just like you. She a Lent you her car, that she saved you money? Like, what do you think?

[Tim Dillon]

A rental car in this whole thing? My favorite lie. Yeah, in this whole thing. Right, Right. Okay. He goes. So I'm like, in a little bit of a pickle trying to figure out. So you're describing potentially cutting your sister off as a little bit of a pickle. He's like, I'm a little bit of a pickle. He's like, do I give her $75 or do I just block her?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And never spe.

[Stavros Halkias]

And by the way, I'm sorry, you were doing what? You were going on vacation with her car.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you can't come up with $75, but you came up with, what, 500 bucks to go to Myrtle beach series.

[Tim Dillon]

We racked up a couple of tolls or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

My wife and I took a trip. Between you and your wife?

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can't come up with. And look again. We've both. Everybody on this podcast has been poor as.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And we have. You can come up with $75. Dude, especially. It's like, you did it. There is no argument. And you could, by the way, you could have paid cash.

[Tim Dillon]

Just before we move on. Let me do one counterpoint.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, please.

[Tim Dillon]

Let me just do a counterpoint. Let me do a counterpoint, because I feel like. Let's just do a counterpoint. Let me get in his head for a moment.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Let me get in his head.

[Stavros Halkias]

Please, please, please.

[Tim Dillon]

Is there anything she's done to you that you could in the past that you could justify not paying this back? Does she owe you her car? Does she owe you her car? Is there something you can dig deep enough?

[Stavros Halkias]

Is there something you can bring up?

[Tim Dillon]

Something you can bring up?

[Stavros Halkias]

So.

[Tim Dillon]

So I'm Irish. Go back.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dig. Dig it up. Bring it up. Is there something that will definitely go over well?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, could you imagine? Here's the other hilarious thing. Think about this. Being in your family. Think like, I have two brothers. If one of my brothers was like, well, you know, but I don't have 75. Yeah, I took the thing. And. And he's complaining, and he's like, can you believe he wants me to pay for it? Yeah, he has a job. I don't. It's like, yeah, I'd be like, what the are you talking about?

[Tim Dillon]

You could call her and say, listen, I. I'm really sorry this happened. I just don't have $75 right now. And then her response will be, but you just went on a vacation.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you Know what I mean, dude, you have to. I mean, there's no.

[Tim Dillon]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have no. What even is your argument? I am not sure that you don't have the money. You do. This wasn't like, you know, I needed to get to a job.

[Tim Dillon]

I like this guy a little bit, though. I like that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, it's selfish. This is exactly. This is the Irish selfishness you're discussing here.

[Tim Dillon]

Even as I'm on him, there's part of me that goes, you know what? Like, yeah, he's wrong.

[Stavros Halkias]

A problem he only. He created.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

That affects someone else.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And he thinks he shouldn't have to deal with it.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's insane. Dude, you're so in the wrong. It's not. There is no other woman. It's crazy. $75.

[Tim Dillon]

That's.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, you got to take. Anyway, Go ahead. This guy.

[Tim Dillon]

Oh, what the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh. Oh, no. You know what? It's time to do. Oh, Tim. It's time to. It's time to. Oh, Tim, where'd you. You go?

[Tim Dillon]

Welcome to the Twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're so twisted. We took an Irish guy and we turned him less fat and straight.

[Tim Dillon]

But I'm still a piece of.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's edit some where I have, like, lightning powers, and I'm turning Tim into JP by the power of the Twisted. By the. By the power of the ass. Twisted. Question of the week. I turn Tim into J.P. mcDade.

[Tim Dillon]

Let's go. Holy. His conversion therapy beams to turn me normal.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're keeping it twisted here, folks. We are back. It's time. We had to. We had to let you know it's time to keep it twisted, and we're doing that right now. Tim had. You know, Tim. Tim keeps it too twisted. He keeps it too twisted. We couldn't even allow him to be on this. He's a guy who keeps it way too twisted sometimes. And we said, tim, get out. I'm bringing JP in to keep it twisted.

[Tim Dillon]

It's a twist on a twist.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a twist on a twist. And Eldis, I believe you have this week's twisted ass question of the week ready to go.

[Tim Dillon]

We have a twisted ass question.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's jump right in here. Let's do it.

[Eldis]

Sai, longtime watcher, first time caller.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you, bro. So I. I matched with this girl.

[Eldis]

On Hinge, and I was trying to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Get a second opinion for my buddy to see if, you know, maybe I.

[Eldis]

Should pursue her or not.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know. Well, long story short, short, I. I.

[Eldis]

Took a couple screenshots and I mean.

[Tim Dillon]

To send to my friend who I'm.

[Stavros Halkias]

On the call with, but it accidentally gets sent into my work group chat. Oh no. So everyone I work with, everyone.

[Eldis]

I don't know what to do with it.

[Stavros Halkias]

About this.

[Eldis]

What, what would be your advice? I'll just keep it short and sweet.

[Stavros Halkias]

What would you do?

[Tim Dillon]

Keep it twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would keep it twisted. I would be like, what do you think, boys? Should I slam this piece?

[Tim Dillon]

Follow through?

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you think, boss? Marcia, Marcia, I have so much respect for you as a corporate leader. I want. I wanted to ask you, should I hit these skins? Should I dog this out the way I dogged out our fourth quarter earnings report? Marsha.

[Tim Dillon]

I would have told you to do this. Yeah, I told you to send potential. Potential smashes to the work slack. Put it in slack.

[Stavros Halkias]

Put it in the fucking work slack. Keep it twisted. Twisted. What you should have done. Look, here's what you do. You take the, the whole, the whole office, you know, happy hour. You get everybody around the ice cold, delicious twisted teas.

[Tim Dillon]

Keep it twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

Keep it twisted. You know, maybe you get the game day pack and you sit in the parking lot, you crack it open, you have a peach. You have an original. You have a half and half, you have a raspberry. I'm a peach guy. You know, I like to get. You know, I like to keep it twisted peach style. And you, you talk. You could. Okay, in all seriousness, which you do, you should have a twisted tea with them. But this has already happened. It's over. The toothpaste is out of the fucking tube. What you should have done, first of all, think you're calling in. It's already too late. What you do there is you immediately unsend, if you can. And if you can't, you say sorry.

[Tim Dillon]

Wrong. Wrong.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, I'm really sorry. Wrong.

[Tim Dillon]

Wrong.

[Stavros Halkias]

Screenshot, you know, wrong. I sent this to the wrong group chat or. You know what I mean, you are you. Honestly, there's nothing you can do. You have to. I mean, you just made it.

[Tim Dillon]

The amount of embarrassment you feel is entirely up to you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. That's a good point.

[Tim Dillon]

Decide.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that's what I mean. It's like it happened. Everyone knows what happened. So the sooner you deal with something like that, it's. It's like if you're, if you're at, you know, let's say you're at a happy hour, you're having an ice cold twisted tea and you, Your pants and you just sit in your. For a hour or two and then leave and pretend Nothing happened. It's weird. If you, your pants, they even, they hear the fart. You take a long time in the bathroom and you, you come back wearing the gym shorts you had in your backpack. They know what happened. And you gotta be like, all right guys, take it. You know, I'll see you later. But so they know, everyone knows what this is.

[Tim Dillon]

So I say you, you put shout on the jukebox. You get everyone up on the dance floor. Come on, gang.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

That'S a good. That's what you do.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good. So it. You could. So everyone's seen it right now. Let's get the silver line. Let's keep it twisted because this, after all, what is this if not the twisted ass question of the damn freaking week, right? Still working on the name. Yes. It's out there. Silver lining. Some of the people there's pro. There's probably people that you were like kind on the verge of being bros with that you can now turn them into full French, full fledged bros. And that's by the way, that's not gendered women. Or like everyone saw it. If anybody kind of busted your balls or if anybody felt comfortable enough with you to even like bring it up or the people that you bring it up with, like, if you have your people, your friends with them, be like, I'm embarrassed. See how they do it. If they kind of bust your balls back, be like, so what do you think? You know, like now you, you have turned and embarrassed and look, you've embarrassed.

[Tim Dillon]

To another level of connection.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. Co workers, you've embarrassed yourself in front of a, a handful of them. Right. They think you're the dumb pig that you are. Right? Yeah, that's fine. Those people were never really going to be your friends. And by the way, you can still be friends with them in other ways. You can have performance based friendships, you know what I mean? Like, or you could have lunch friendships, whatever. But I bet you a lot of people and not just young dudes your age, like they were when I worked in an office, dude, like the, like the coolest, most ball bustery people were older women who actually wanted to hear about you getting. Yeah, they were cool. Like my, my, my group when I worked as a paralegal was like this awesome. Just like she, she was just like, she was the lady who did all the work. She was just like, you know, in my head I'm like this older black lady. She was 100, how old I am now or like around my age. She was probably late 30s, older. You know, 40s, whatever. But I was 22 at the time. And then a woman who was like in her 50s, just older black lesbian who kept it hot, high and tight. Fade like just awesome. Bust your balls.

[Tim Dillon]

I had one of those.

[Stavros Halkias]

She was the one who. She told me there's a co worker, there's a commercial, there's like some super bowl commercial where there's a giant baby. Do you remember that year?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or just. And she was like, you know who you look like the baby from the commercial. It's like that's just. You just twisted. It's not. That's not a celebrity. That's a fat, huge, huge CGI baby. Anyway, she was awesome. But even we had a white trash girl in there who loved gossip. Like, Like I actually. And you know, of course I had a couple bros. I worked at a law firm. Had a couple lawyer lawyer bros that I, you know, that I would kind of chop it up.

[Tim Dillon]

Gossip is the lifeblood of the office. As someone who's been on both sides of this type of incident in the workplace, I could tell you it just. All it does is create energy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right? Yes. Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

You are closer with you after that.

[Stavros Halkias]

By keeping it twisted, you have put twisted energy into the workspace. And that's a powerful, powerful tornado. Keep it twisted. You got it. You kept it twisted. Don't pull. Don't. Don't stop now. Don't half measure. Don't try and untwist in the middle. You'll end up spraining your elbows and you know, you, you'll, you'll get your foot stuck in the mud and tear your acl. Keep it twisted. Did. Keep keeping it twisted all the way around. Make all those rotations, bro. Out with some of these people over this hinge.

[Tim Dillon]

I think, I think this will like permanently mark his work identity at this office. You'll always be the dumbass that said that sent like the hinge screenshot to the.

[Stavros Halkias]

To the group chat.

[Tim Dillon]

But you do sound like. But you are somebody stupid and very young.

[Stavros Halkias]

You young? Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Where it's like, like a funny. It's. It's not like, you know, you're like a 47 year old. You're. You're 47 year old, like married boss who accidentally sent a hidden screenshot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right? Which also has happened and works. Like old guys get caught cheating by attaching a picture to like instead of a PDF. That's not what happened. You made a young, cute, idiot mistake. Right. And you kind of, when you're that dumb and this guy's Kind of. He's like, I'm actually 37 years old.

[Tim Dillon]

But like I'm a senior vice president JP Morgan Chase.

[Stavros Halkias]

But like whatever this is, that's what people are expecting from you. And you know what? You kept it twisted. Keep keeping it twisted. And, and, and when you find those bros in the office that, that you know want to tell you, want to give you advice about if you should smash or not repay the favor, treat them to an ice cold twisted tea. And don't forget keep it twisted. Your fucking instincts for that are fucking awesome, dude. All right. Well, what the hell. Holy. Oh, that's the twisted ass question of the week. Don't forget keep it twisted. Oh.

[Eldis]

Yo, what's up, Cyrus? I got a particularly difficult question.

[Stavros Halkias]

Question.

[Eldis]

I study brain cancer, the worst type of cancer, but should the kids kills you in one to two years. There's no levity to this situation. And I've had no family members die of this particular cancer within recent memory or in my timeline. So I have no connection to this. And every time I go and talk to a conference or talk to a group of donors or group of people who are interested in my research, people always bring up like, oh, my dad, my grandpa, my whatever died. And I have no connection to this. And it is the hardest conversation to have. And I just do not know how to get through it in a way that makes me sensitive person as well as a person that legitimately cares about the research that I'm doing, which I do. But more from the perspective of the fact that I find this interesting from a scientific perspective, which is not what any of these people want to hear. They want to hear I'm doing this because I am trying to cure brain cancer and unrealistic but goal that I am legitimately working towards. So how can I bridge this gap and comfortably talk to these people and say, oh, I'm so sorry for that without sounding like somebody who doesn't know what they're talking about, which just exactly who I am.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you.

[Eldis]

I think you're the perfect person to answer this question and I hope to hear this answer on a, you know, not private episode.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you.

[Tim Dillon]

Love you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Stoppy. I mean, just does not understand empathy at all. This is hilarious.

[Tim Dillon]

I would lie, say you had it and cured yourself.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean that's the. The funny thing is like what is the dilemma here?

[Tim Dillon]

What is the question? The question is I want to talk to these people even though no one in my family has died of this. Well, listen, there are lots of people who have not suffered from things that choose to work in those fields that are very difficult. And I think if you did some patient outreach and because you're on the research end, you might be disconnected from it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, this again goes back to the tech guy argument, too.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

These are the people we're talking about. About. He doesn't even understand.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The basic social lubricant of like, yeah, I'm so sorry.

[Tim Dillon]

And talk to families, dude. Talk to people who've been affected. And then when you talk to those people, that becomes a part of you. And I think you'll be able to communicate that experience. I mean, I don't even sound crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, I think. I think you're even saying more than he needs to do.

[Tim Dillon]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because all you.

[Tim Dillon]

All he.

[Stavros Halkias]

All he has to do is say, like, I'm so. He does talk to those people. He's saying he's uncomfortable talking to them because they want. Want. But he's not coming out from your perspective. I'm trying to learn from them. He's like, I just want to tell them. And I think it's interesting.

[Tim Dillon]

And it's like, well, dude, no, you can't do that.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can't do that.

[Tim Dillon]

If you work in the position.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is the field. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

If you work in the. In the world of grief and. And. And stuff like that, I think you have to understand that obviously there's a scientific portion of your job that's the heavier portion. Like, more of your job is scientific because it's reasonable research. But then there's a portion of it that does involve, like, humanity and being a human being and talking about loss and GRE and all that stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And like, dude, he says it's unrealistic to cure cancer. It's like, don't say that.

[Tim Dillon]

Don't say that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Idiot.

[Tim Dillon]

Don't open with that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who cares?

[Tim Dillon]

This is what I would do. Ready? I'm him. I get up there. What does he do? He speaks to at the conference.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

He'd go, hi. Hi. Hi. I had this cancer and I cured myself. It's. It's mental. It's in your head. Watch Jordan Peterson.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you make your bed every morning, the cancer will go away.

[Tim Dillon]

You. You control your own destiny, okay? You gotta get out of this dimension. I live in another dimension. I'm on a 5D timeline, you idiots.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah, I mean, truly, I don't get what is vexing you right now. The guy who's calling in. Just understand that. Yeah. Your research, the thing you think is cool, the what goes with it is Occasionally talking to people that have been affected by it. So just tell them what they want to hear. Get in and out of that conversation and just say, I'm. I find this very. You know, I am. I'm working to cure. I want. I'm working to cure this. I want to be able to make progress on this. And that's why I'm doing all this research. Research. And one day, all my work. And you're saying it's unrealistic, but on some grand timeline, your. Your work hopefully will lead to curing cancer or, you know, finding the ways to prevent it. Whatever the. Yeah, just say that. Nobody gives a.

[Tim Dillon]

We're doing important work here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, we're just.

[Tim Dillon]

Thank you for coming. I know many of you have had a very difficult road ahead, and one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Day, we hope to keep cured this painful disease.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes, it's horrible with this work.

[Stavros Halkias]

Over time. That's it.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. Over time we're gonna do this.

[Stavros Halkias]

And, you know, have you ever lied about anything else?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, it's. I know it's tough out there, but, you know, but part of why I do this work is because this is the most rewarding work in the world if we get it right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just lie. What do you care? I mean, I just don't understand this question at all. And keep being in the. You know, this is just like, again, a guy with no empathy. No. No social skills. Like, a little bit of lying is great. Social lubricants.

[Tim Dillon]

Maybe. Stay in the lab. Maybe you don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Why are you talking?

[Tim Dillon]

Why are you. Why the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Put you in on a.

[Tim Dillon]

Why are you the front facing person here? Stay in the thing. Stay in the lab.

[Stavros Halkias]

You need. Yeah, you need fluorescent lighting. You don't need to be out there, man. Yeah, you don't need a lapel mic sequencing. Yeah. All right. That guy.

[Eldis]

Hey, what's up, Savvy? Love the show. Thanks for doing what you do. Okay, my friend, I'm in a bit of a pickle, so this is a long winded story. I'm gonna try and keep it short. Essentially, my mom fell on homelessness for, like, the third time, and she's been living with me in my 300 square foot studio. Like, not having a job, being unemployed, not paying rent for the last four months, going on five.

[Stavros Halkias]

Jesus Christ.

[Eldis]

Yeah, so I'm just not really sure what to do about that. Her life is, like, pretty tragic. Have, like, has had lots of unfortunate series of events, so she doesn't really have anyone in her life besides me. I'm lucky enough I'm able to stay at my partner's house most of the time. But like, I am just like, how am I going to get my mom out of my, my house? She has no money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

She's not really willing to get a job. She won't go on unemployment. I've had her apply for government housing. And for what it's worth, she's 65 years old. So it's like, you know, I've been telling her, like, go to the gas station or something. Get a job at the gas station because I live in a city. So she has lots of options to work, I think. But I know it gets harder as people age.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

They're not necessarily like vital person on the workforce. So I'm just in a pickle, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is a true. This is an actual pickle. By the way, the other guy who said he was in a pickle because he racked up $10 in fine, he wrapped up and now he had to pay $65 more than he thought. That's not a pickle. This is a pickle.

[Eldis]

It. There's a whole lot of other stuff that I could bring into this. But yeah, she. We've had a pretty like, tumultuous relationship. Relationship too. She's also has like PTSD and paranoia. So there's definitely some like, mental health things going on. But yeah. Anyway, love what you do.

[Tim Dillon]

Thanks. Bye. I'll say this as somebody's mother was schizophrenic. I don't know what this person's mental health situation is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

The real issue with someone that has a mental health thing, they never voluntarily seek help.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

It is very, very hard and very difficult for, for someone. Someone that has mental issues. Now, again, I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

But if they are paranoid and they're having issues, you know, there is a tough reality where these issues tend to be progressive and degenerative.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And they get worse if they're not adequately medicated. And even with medication. I'd watch my mother. You know, she passed away last year. Year. But the last several years of her life were not great. It was tough because that's just the way it happens. The, the answer here, unfortunately, could be you may at a certain point have to have her committed to a facility.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Because she is not going to be able to live. She's going to need medication to just be able to be. Otherwise it could get worse. She might start being suspicious of you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It could get hard. And that's the thing. Physical illness is very. We understand that in the culture. Mental illness is really. There's no money behind it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

We don't research it. There's no mental health care. We don't understand it. And I think that's why these things are painful and tough. Because. Because, yeah. I think it's somebody who's asking, like, how do I deal with someone who's. Who seems to be having a. Me. Real severe mental issues.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. And I think, like, you got that. I think. Yeah. Somewhere, institution, whatever. Also, it's like you have done a lot here. Yeah. And at a certain point, I think if there's one thing I would say is like, can you maybe, you know, you've already said you've had her. Her, you know, apply for government housing and she won't do unemployment. But it's like, may. I mean, if anything, it's like, can you go to a social worker here? Like, I don't understand. Is there somebody who can help her that, that you don't have to basically try and you're essentially her social.

[Tim Dillon]

It's so difficult. Here's the problem.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And I, I mean, my aunt, not me, I was younger, my aunt went through all this. God, is it brutal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

God. Getting some. Because they just. That they. You are. Unfortunately, I will be very honest with you. You're gonna have to do a lot of it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Right.

[Tim Dillon]

You're gonna have to get Medicare to pay for it. You're gonna have to say, she. You're gonna have to go get a doctor to give her a diagnosis. You're gonna have to get her into a facility. You're gonna have to get that paid for.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It is difficult. It is shitty. We have a terrible health care system and. And it's very, very difficult. But the good news is, at the end of that, she will be in a facility where she'll get a level of care that you cannot provide in your home.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing here, is that like you have to figure either that out. You have to go. Because right now you're going through a lot for maybe no outcome. But like, you gotta have. I do. It does sound like you're headed that way.

[Tim Dillon]

And can I just give one quick.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Tim Dillon]

Other. I want to give a counterpoint.

[Stavros Halkias]

Please, please, please, please, please kill her.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep. Let her get her favorite snacks one day.

[Tim Dillon]

Do you know how much I regret sometimes not taking my mother out for a deep dish pizza and blowing her head off? My mother was so vicious and cruel to me. I walked into her room one day, she goes, if you lose weight, someone might give you money to fix your teeth. Wow. I don't even know what that means, but it's. They're so mean. The thing about mental illness, when someone's dying of a physical illness.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

You know, it's. But when they're. When mental illness, they're tough. They're tough.

[Stavros Halkias]

They were like.

[Tim Dillon]

We'd be like, patty want to get you help? She'd be like, all of you, you've done nothing. For me, it's hard, man. And I. My heart goes out to this person. I. And I know what it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is very difficult. And. And. And I will say the other thing is you have to. Look, you're doing your best. You're doing what you know, you're doing your sort of familial obligations. I think another. She says she's the only person your. You know, your mom has. And you. I think, following what Tim's saying and seeing if she can get somewhere, like, if government housing is not going to do it, if a facility is what it is, whatever, you have to make that effort. But also, at a certain point, you also have to recognize that especially since you say you have a tumultuous relationship. You know, this is one thing if there's like, your perfect mom who helped you through everything, but if this is somebody who's been tough in your life, and it's also. Also, it can only affect your life so much, I guess, is really what it comes down to. As sad as it is, at a certain point, you have to live your own life. And so I would say make a general effort to see if. If you can get this kind of assistance, you know, if. If living somewhere, like, some kind of facilities, what it is, whatever. But after that, you can't not have a house because your mom refuses to get a job.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's very difficult, and that's very painful. But you also have to kind of prepare yourself for that time where you're like, okay, well, you put her.

[Tim Dillon]

You have to put her in a place where they can give her care, and then you visit her and you do the right thing, but you cannot provide the care she needs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you're one. You're one person. Yeah. Yeah. That is fucking nuts. A. What do you go visit? What do you. Do you like. Is it like going to camp? Is it like finger painting? What are we doing?

[Tim Dillon]

No, you just really go talk to them, and they're in, you know, varying degrees. Like, sometimes times what they like to do is they like to turn down the Medicine. So they like to save money and they like to turn down the medicine. And then you'll go in and she'll be really crazy and really suspicious and paranoid and telling you all these crazy things. And you'll. You'll go to the head nurse and. And then you got to go to the administrator. And I went and I threatened to sue them all. I'm like, you got to give her the medicine, you scum.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And they're like. I said that. I go, you guys are scum. You know, and the guy's like. He's like, well. And I said, I just use the word lawyer. As soon as you use the word lawyer, then they up the medicine because they're trying to cut the medicine, man. It's. It sucks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And the thing that's tough is you as a kid can't do anything totally. You can only try to make it easier for them to get care and put them in a situation where they can get it. Listen, my mother. I don't know what this woman has.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

But my mother had schizophrenic. That's an incurable.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Tim Dillon]

Degenerative mental. Mental illness.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

It doesn't get better. You can mitigate it, you know, so you just gotta live with it and try to do the best you can.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And. Same thing. It's like I help members of my family out, but I've. I'm lucky to have the money to do it. And also, it is mostly money. Like, I don't have to, like, I check in, whatever, but it's like, you can help as much as you can, but you can't do more than that. You know what I mean? You can't over stretch yourself. You can't, like, you can't, like, be there constantly. And so you've already done a lot and, you know, give it a whirl, whatever, but you've done a lot.

[Tim Dillon]

Now it's time to do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now it's time to take her out. But give her. Give her some concrete slippers and take her to the, you know, take her to the clam shop, go get. Get some calamari and then take her.

[Tim Dillon]

Out on the boat.

[Stavros Halkias]

They were like. They did big.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

On the Sopranos. H, baby. LD gas. Look, man, I'm in a predicament, okay?

[Tim Dillon]

My.

[Eldis]

My best friend, his wife cheated on.

[Tim Dillon]

Him, like, I don't know, four or five different times now.

[Stavros Halkias]

And. And every time that this happens, he comes to me, you know, I'm his, you know, shoulder to cry on. I'M there for him, I'm supporting him. I may have gotten a little overboard in the whole.

[Eldis]

That parade.

[Stavros Halkias]

They keep making up and.

[Tim Dillon]

You know, I don't really.

[Eldis]

I don't really know how to become.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, my question is, is I don't.

[Eldis]

Really know how to become friends with her again after.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, no. All the she's put my friend through.

[Eldis]

I guess I'm just really looking for some advice, you know, Do I, you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Know, keep this woman at a distance?

[Eldis]

Do I, you know, try to make.

[Stavros Halkias]

Up with her for my friend's sake? I feel like it's driving a wedge between my friend and I guy.

[Eldis]

I'd appreciate any advice you have on it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thanks, buddy.

[Tim Dillon]

Bye.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a really impressive, like, move on her part is not only has she cucked this guy five times, but she's isolated him from his friends. It's like, that's very impressive.

[Tim Dillon]

Again, it's one of those where you go, I don't know the question. I wouldn't have a relationship with this woman at all.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And, and, and, you know, you serve.

[Stavros Halkias]

A purpose in this guy's life. You like, if they. Because the thing people say about, you know, infidelity, whatever, is that, like, if you decide to, to try and fix it, you have to let it go. Right? The people have to let it go. They have to have that relationship. They have to build on it. But the friends don't have to let it go. The friend is there to remind you and to be there to your support system. It's like, you got to be there if she cheat, because what happens if she cheats again? Like, this woman has to slowly gain back your trust. Trust. But right now, yeah, like, I don't want anything to do with anybody who cheated on one of my friends.

[Tim Dillon]

I think if you cheat on somebody five times, and I mean, this is just a guess, he might not stop.

[Stavros Halkias]

Five times. Yeah, five times.

[Tim Dillon]

You might not stop.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It's not. Shame on you.

[Tim Dillon]

In fact, I bet she's still doing it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you're probably right.

[Tim Dillon]

So, like, I don't even know. I think you just gotta, you know. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, what's, what is. What do you. You obviously you don't be friends with him, but what's your advice to your friend? Like, he gets back to her. You're like, dude, I think this is a fucking bad idea. I don't exactly. It's like it's five times. It's gonna happen again. You can, you can put. Draw a line in the sand and then you could be like, hey, I want to hang out with you. You're my boy, but don't bring this fucking bitch. I think it's a mistake for you to be in this relationship. You have to do one or the other. You have to either draw that line and say, yeah, she's gonna be. You think she's. You think she's done sucking? Strange it. She's not stopping at five, pal.

[Tim Dillon]

Or. And by the way, five is what she submitted to. Are you mentally ill? Are you insane?

[Stavros Halkias]

He caught her with five.

[Tim Dillon]

Five is what she's willing to come to the table.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's like, all right, he's not gonna buy two. You know, I can't tell him eight is a little much to admit to. To. It's 14. All right, I'll land on five.

[Tim Dillon]

Oh, my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

So, yeah, just say, look, dude, this is a mistake. You shouldn't get back with her. I don't want to be involved in this. But you're my boy. I will always support you. Let's hang out. But I don't want anything to do with her. That's how you handle it. And then if he does cut you out, then whatever him. Let him get cucked for the rest of his life. I'm just trying to think of what friends of mine mind that this would happen to, but, you know, not a lot of cucks in my circle.

[Tim Dillon]

Cowards.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not cucks, though.

[Tim Dillon]

It's also on the friend after a certain time because let's say, hey, man, you're back the 10th time that she cheated on you. Like, what are we doing here? I don't even have, like, anything else to say to you right now.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true. I definitely have had conversations with friends where I'm like, you know how it's not even cuck, but it's like, just like, they complain about their job every time time or even a relationship. Right. Let's say it's not even getting cucked. It's just like they complain about the same over and over again. You're like, you know, this is a problem. I'm tired of hearing about it. Don't tell me quit or shut the up. I don't want to hear about your job.

[Tim Dillon]

So it's like, you know, sometimes it's tough love.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

And you should have sex with his wife.

[Stavros Halkias]

You should. His wife.

[Tim Dillon]

I mean, at this point, I think that's the only thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

See what the. See what all the fuss is about, right? How good is the pussy? The only way you know if it's worth him Going back is if you get a little taste test, a little Costco sample of the pussy shabby baby Elvis.

[Eldis]

Revered guest. I'm really hoping you can help me out with this one. It's a little raunchy. I am a barber at a barber shop and I work with almost solely women clearly cutting men hair. Now there is one female in particular who I like as a person but cannot and cannot by any stretch of the imagination handle her smell.

[Stavros Halkias]

Her smell.

[Eldis]

It's clearly a hygiene issue. It's to the extent that I. We have a single person restroom and I cannot under any circumstance, no matter how bad I have to pee, can follow her in there.

[Tim Dillon]

It is awful.

[Eldis]

And again, we're barbers. We are right up on our clients more often than not touching and cutting and doing beard trims. And it's not just her body odor as much as it's also her mouth, her breath. She just is foul smelling. And there is such a fine line between being offensive and trying to help a girl out out girl to girl. But this is. And she's a heavier girl. So I'm trying really hard to find a way to bring this up to her, fix my problem. I'm not the only one. And I hate being a part of, you know, the gossip around. But at what point does one of us bring it up and how, how would you do it? Help me.

[Tim Dillon]

Is there a to an anonymous note? No, seriously, here's what you do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ready? You do a company dunk tank and he fix it so she's the one who has to. You fill it with Dove soap, right? With the soap they used to clean little ducks after an oil spill.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You coat this fat smelly in that. You hit her with this and you dunk her over and over again. You get a nice froth going.

[Tim Dillon]

Can you frame her for stealing? So they fire her. Is there a way to frame her, like hide money? Hang on. Someone, they open her pocketbook, it's all right, they go get this back.

[Stavros Halkias]

This money smells like she must have been hiding under her fat tits.

[Tim Dillon]

That fat is a thief. You pointed her, you say that that fat is a thief. And then there she's kicked out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Out.

[Tim Dillon]

There's no good way to do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's no good way to do it. There's a to Dude. Imagine the high stakes game of rock, paper, scissors happening in the lounge of this barber shop about who has to tell her. Look, there's no good way to tell her. But I mean, honestly, who's the supervisor? This is ordering Supervisor. This is like this. Because it's. Especially if it's a. If it's a.

[Tim Dillon]

But it's nobody else complaining or her clients not complaining. It's nobody else.

[Stavros Halkias]

The freaks that want her. Like, I'll take her.

[Tim Dillon]

I want her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Like take a walk around. She could take a brisk walk around. Yeah. I mean, I do actually think this whoever is the boss here, because it is. If I'm going to a barbershop, smells like. I mean, because it is honestly professionalism to some degree. And it's like, like if you. I think about like growing up in, in city schools and there being like a poor kid that came in smelling like.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it would be like the teacher would have a discussion with him and then his family to like fix it. It's like hygiene is such a basic.

[Tim Dillon]

Human thing that something is happening where this girl. There's a disconnect and you'll meet.

[Stavros Halkias]

Listen, we're of the plus size community there. We have brothers and sisters in the community that. Yes, for whatever. Maybe it's because the smell is coming from somewhere so far from their nose they can't bring it up when you have so much mass. But I just had to go buy a suit at, at a plus size store.

[Tim Dillon]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

And there was a gentleman in there also shopping who. Boy, oh boy, did my man smell musty. And yes, he was fat as shit. And that's also a fear. I don't know about you. That was always a fear of me growing up. You don't want to be the smelly fat guy.

[Tim Dillon]

I think it's so easy to avoid. And we're kind comics, so a lot of our skinny friends smell like.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

We also are friends with like very filthy thin.

[Stavros Halkias]

And in fact, before she said skinniest.

[Tim Dillon]

People are terrible, disgusting smelling.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. Before she said she's a bigger girl, I was kind of thinking like crust punk, methy.

[Tim Dillon]

So here's what I would say. Frame her for stealing, get her fired, hide something in her purse or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, don't. You don't have a framer. Leave a delicious tiramisu in the, in the, in the refrigerator. Her. It'll only be a matter of time until she takes a bite.

[Tim Dillon]

But there's no good way to tell someone they're gross. It's hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. There is no good way. Tough one, though. Yeah. I say leave that up to the boss. Draw straws, whatever. And if you have to have the conversation, be like, hey, I mean, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

There'S no, there's no, like, you got a rotten puss. Fat bitch. It's rotted. You don't smell that. Rotted gash. Something's wrong with you. You. You've got bacteria.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's problems. Yeah, just. We're gonna want. You got a shower before you get. I don't even know what you say. But yeah, I would. I would leave this to the boss. And if you're the boss, you just be like, hey, we've had a couple complaints. You know, had a little complaint. Everything okay? Like, yeah, there's some minor hygiene stuff, but it is kind of, you know, we're assert. You literally get to it as like, we provide a service. We're. This is a service industry. And it's like, you got to smell fresher. You're coming. There's a little. There is a little. You can even. You just got to say there's a little body odor.

[Tim Dillon]

You got to say. You got to go, Listen, we know you're a big fat hog. Fine.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you getting under all the creases?

[Tim Dillon]

It's fine. You're a big fat hog. We get it. We hired you knowing that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Surprise. We like that about you. It's fun to have a fat. Somebody fat in the m. You're warming us. Yeah, but. Yeah, I don't know. This is a tough one. Damn. Thank God. Thank God I don't have the fat smelly guy's a tough guy. You felt so. I felt so bad for those. And they were musty. Like, it smelled like there was like mold growing on their titty flaps or something.

[Eldis]

Hey, savvy baby and esteemed guest, Elvis. So I don't know if I. It's advice or why I'm really calling other than to not feel crazy, but my husband and I have been together for 15 years and married for 10 and this put me his dick on a porn website.

[Stavros Halkias]

What?

[Eldis]

And I got like a bad feeling. And I'm not like, I'm a cool like, chick, like good wife, like all.

[Stavros Halkias]

The things that's cra.

[Eldis]

And it went way deeper than just that out. And I'm just going to leave that there and your imagination can go where it want.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you mean you're going to leave it there?

[Eldis]

We have a seven and a half year old son and I'm. I'm about to be 38. I just don't know how I'm ever going to trust anyone again.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, this is.

[Eldis]

And I know it's possible. And yeah, going to do the therapy thing and all that. I'm just like so up from this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And like I don't want to date and I know it's like eventually I'll. I will but I just. What is that? Like is there. Are there people out there for like a 38 year old mom?

[Tim Dillon]

I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well first of all, unfortunately I'm sure you racked up some views. So you know there are people that are interested in you on some level. So there is that. That. That's bad. It's not. We. We're not happy he posted. But it's like yeah, yeah, yeah. Like people. This is a problem because it was seen, right? Like yes. This is like you are. You know it's not. Your desirability has nothing to do here. There are definitely people out there who are into you who you can find. This is about you. Cuz this was an insane betrayal of like the person you have a child.

[Tim Dillon]

Actually illegal.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's literally illegal.

[Tim Dillon]

Legal crime.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like your husband committed a sex crime against you. Yeah, of course this is gonna you up. So anyway, let's finish. Let me. Let's hear her out completely.

[Eldis]

But I don't know. I'm sure there is but it's just. I'm feeling super discouraged just about the humanity basically. But I'm a down ass. I'm awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sounds cool.

[Eldis]

So I know that like big football fan. I'm a lunch lady.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh yeah.

[Eldis]

Can't get any cooler than that. Smoke weed.

[Stavros Halkias]

All the stuff getting hard right now.

[Eldis]

I like do the bro things. Listen to savvy world. All the things and so I don't know. Anyway, give me some advice or just tell me that it's gonna be okay. Anyway, can't wait for you to come to Eugene. I'll be there.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right. See you there. But yeah this goes back to what we were saying is like you. It will be okay. You are clearly cool somebody. You will find somebody. Somebody when you're ready to. But you are dealing with a. I mean this is next level.

[Tim Dillon]

Next level. Let's see.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have a kid with some like it's not just why are you married.

[Tim Dillon]

The mother of your child on a porn website.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like it's. It's a. It's a crime. It's a crime. And not only that, it's just an insane. The per. Exactly. Your trust is so easy.

[Tim Dillon]

Trying to help her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is he trying to. Yeah. He knows what's going on with only fans economy. Yeah yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Just to make a broader point about. No but I mean I. I think this is really up in all seriousness I think you should get out of there. I don't think, I mean, I hate to say it, but I don't think like a guy who would do that is, is, is, is so reckless for sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who has a son with you, that's a no brainer.

[Tim Dillon]

You got to run, you got to be.

[Stavros Halkias]

And, and by the way, feel like you don't want to date. Feeling like all this stuff, totally natural. You, when you decide to come back around and date, whatever, you'll be ready. There'll be people there for you. But look, take your time. Truly take your time. You also have a kid you can focus on.

[Tim Dillon]

Go down to Portland, go down to Hat Yai, get some shallot fried chicken, a little Indian curry. It's great down there in Portland.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a good, good Eaton Town, good hanging out town. Just, just take a second. Of course you feel discouraged. You had a horrific, horrific thing happen to you that is going to destabilize your trust. But right now you're in like the aftermath of it. Don't give yourself any timeline. Don't start dating before you feel ready. You have a full life. You have a kid, you have, you know, you have a, you know, you gotta get some sloppy joes going. You got, you got to worry about, worry about your rebuild. We talk about it all the time. It's funny because a woman who's like been this devastated by a truly horrific betrayal, it's almost like the same advice we give incels which is like take your time, improve upon yourself, get your self esteem up, work on yourself. You know, do stuff that makes you feel empowered.

[Tim Dillon]

Well, when she said I'm gonna leave it there and it goes much deeper than that. It tells me that she needs to run from a way for sure and she needs to spend some time processing what the hell just happened.

[Stavros Halkias]

100. 100. Yeah. And she said it. She's going through therapy. She's doing all this. So we're just here to, to reassure you you're doing all the right stuff. Don't rush anything. You got a cool kid to worry about. You definitely don't want. Hey look, he's got one of two role models to choose from. You definitely want to be the one that he gravitates towards.

[Tim Dillon]

She's got a cool job. She's clearly like probably an amazing mom. Like all of this stuff. I think you're gonna find a guy that's gonna be a totally different speed.

[Stavros Halkias]

You'll find, you'll. Especially in Portland, you don't think you find someone who wants to be a stepfather in Portland.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. In Oregon.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on. That's.

[Tim Dillon]

That.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're.

[Tim Dillon]

You're gonna, you're gonna get somebody, you're gonna. And they're gonna be a lot better. And, and you. I, I bet in a few years from now, you look back at this and you say it was a weird blessing in disguise because now you found someone a lot better.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yes, absolutely. In the long run, that is true. Because either that or you're just like with a secret sociopath the rest of your life. Right.

[Tim Dillon]

And that person's name is Elon Musk. So congratulations. You're going to be the richest and most famous woman in the world.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. He's got to have a couple more. He only has 10 kids. Yeah. I love rich people who just are literally like, behave. It's like, it's just like trailer park. Yeah, it's trailer park. It's like, you know, know what? Like stuffy people make fun of trash for doing. It's like that's how the richest people just. They nut wherever they please. That's so fun.

[Tim Dillon]

How to have fun anytime, anywhere. Step one, go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com Got it. Step two, collect your welcome bonus. Come to papa.

[Stavros Halkias]

Welcome bonus.

[Tim Dillon]

Step three, play hundreds of casino style games for free. That's a lot of games, all for free.

[Eldis]

Step four, unleash your excitement.

[Tim Dillon]

Chumba Casino has been delivering thrills for over a decade.

[Stavros Halkias]

So claim your free welcome, welcome bonus now and live the temba life.

[Eldis]

Visit chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary vgw group.

[Tim Dillon]

Void we're prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you got something nice for us to go out on here?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. I saw one that I really liked earlier.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Tim Dillon]

And there was something about a gay guy who doesn't want to break up with the other gay guy because.

[Stavros Halkias]

Play that one, Ellie, the eldest and esteemed guest.

[Eldis]

I got a problem. I'm gay.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Eldis]

And I'm in a relationship and we just aren't a match. And I need to know, how do I break up with this dude? Like, we're both in recovery and I know when I break up with him he's going to relapse. What do I do this in a way that he doesn't relapse? You know, like, we just don't. I don't know, we're just not a match. Like, you know, comedy is really big. Sense of humor is really big in my life. And he just doesn't get My sense of humor, you know, whenever I try to play with him or do funny jokes, he just is like a deer and headlights and just doesn't get it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or is he withdrawing from.

[Eldis]

I gotta keep him to the curb. I don't know what else to do, but I'm afraid that he's gonna do something dumb when I break up with him. So how do I do this and not this dude's life up? So any advice would be great.

[Tim Dillon]

Thanks. This poor guy's withdrawing, like you said. And this guy's doing a borsch spell.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. He's like. He's got a fight and slide whistle. He's thinking about the disgusting things he used to do for crack.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And this guy's like, hello, my baby. Hello, my darling.

[Tim Dillon]

It's just. It's just so funny to me because I love, like, the best thing in the world is like, listen, Obviously I'm sober 14 years.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

You gotta. You're responsible for your own life. But there is something funny to break up with. Somebody goes, now, listen, I know you're gonna kill yourself.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I know you're gonna relapse 100% because I am the only reason.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm the best baby.

[Tim Dillon]

I'm the only. Only thing keeping you from sucking dick.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you and your whoopee cushions aren't that necessary.

[Tim Dillon]

Maybe he's gonna relapse because you keep clowning. Yeah. You're doing mime activity. The guy's on Subox and he's just trying to get cereal down his throat and go to a job interview, and you keep doing, like, some weird vaudevillian ass.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, dude, that's the thing. Like, don't worry. Look, you can't. Ultimately, you can't. This is not on you. If you're on some. You're both in recovery. Like, you could say the same thing about. About this guilt. Could you up and you can't. You cannot make this about you. You could just be nice about it, you know, whatever. And you can't. But you can't stay in a relationship for guilt. You can't stay in a relationship because you fear what might happen.

[Tim Dillon]

And your dream is to do. To be funny. It seems like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Comedy is a really big, big sense of humor is really big in my life. And he just doesn't get my sense of humor, you know, whenever I try to play with him or do funny jokes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Do funny jokes.

[Tim Dillon]

By the way, someone's partner doing. Doing funny jokes. Yeah. He's just like a deer in headlights and just doesn't get it. Can you imagine that scene?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

A guy's just sitting there trying to pick up the pieces of his broken life, and then he's so on his boyfriend doing bits.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I mean, puns. Just the.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, I am, I am just unfortunately imagining Ian right now. Like, I know. It's like, imagine if your, if your life is like, falling apart and Ian's like, hey, man, just fucking playing Scots.

[Tim Dillon]

Why don't you skank?

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's skank, man. Man, he's like, I've just been. I just got rejected from Target and Walmart. My parole officer's not going to be happy about this.

[Tim Dillon]

How do I do this and not this guy's life?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, whatever, man.

[Tim Dillon]

It's like, man, I think his life's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Already his life's bro.

[Tim Dillon]

You know?

[Stavros Halkias]

And look, you just can't stay in this. Whatever. He'll be okay.

[Tim Dillon]

You got to find somebody who likes your bits.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who likes your bits. They're out there.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This guy needs someone who's less annoying, it sounds like. But yeah. It's just you can't stay in a relationship for guilt reasons and break it down. I, I'm also curious how much of recovery you guys are in. Whatever. But you. This can't.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't they say you're not supposed to date for this exact reason? The first part of recovery, first year.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, there's supposed to be some. But that, that's not official.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure. But either way.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. No, I, I, I, I, I bet he will be able to move on with his life. And although he will miss you riffing on Wicked.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I'm sure he'll be able to do it. That's my guess. I don't know. I'm.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I agree.

[Tim Dillon]

No expert.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good one. All right. Well, Tim, thanks for doing the show, man.

[Tim Dillon]

Thank you for having so fun. Of course.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just like, truly, just like, just like. It's crazy that it was literally 10 years ago.

[Tim Dillon]

10 years ago.

[Stavros Halkias]

20, 25.

[Tim Dillon]

When we were in this neighborhood, I lived in this neighborhood.

[Stavros Halkias]

When you live in this neighborhood, I was living the time flies.

[Tim Dillon]

Still some of the best food in the world.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's awesome. I do love it here.

[Tim Dillon]

It's the best. I love.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're. Even if I get an apartment somewhere else, we're keeping the studio here so that I can just come back.

[Tim Dillon]

I, I, I think that it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's something about doing it in Queens where it's like making a famous person Come to Queens is so funny.

[Tim Dillon]

No, dude, Queens is still the best, best. I think Brooklyn and Queens and, and you know, Manhattan has its charms too.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. You know, you got, you know, sexy, sexy models running around. Some of the most evil people in the world. Those evil people we're talking about that are nameless. You don't know they're in Manhattan.

[Tim Dillon]

They're in Manhattan. And here's the problem. They're no longer nameless. Yeah, they, well, in fact, they're doing, they're going to start doing stand up. They all have podcast. I mean they're all. This is how it ends. The world ends with the scions of the dynasties of wealth doing standup comp. That's how it ends. It's how it ends, dude. And that's how in a country like America, there's no other way for it to end.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Than a bunch of Illuminati billionaires on stage going like it. The thing about AI that I, you know, and just a confused audience kind of banging their hands.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, you're right, you're right.

[Tim Dillon]

That's how it all ends.

[Stavros Halkias]

A great great, like the, the eighth Rockefeller. Great, great, great grandson of the Rockefellers.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

He might be at the stand tonight, who knows, right? That's gonna do it for us, folks. We will see you next week. Come see us on the Dreamboat tour and we will see you next week. Bye bye. Bye bye bye.

[Tim Dillon]

It is Ryan here and I have.

[Stavros Halkias]

A question for you. What do you do when you win? Like, are you a fist pumper, a woohooer, a hand clapper, a high fiver? I kind of like the high five. But if you want to hone in.

[Tim Dillon]

On those winning moves, check out Chumbacasino at chumbacasino. Com.

[Stavros Halkias]

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[Tim Dillon]

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