#121 - Nick Mullen and Adam Friedland

Summary

Stavvy's World Episode #121: Nick Mullen and Adam Friedland

Release Date: March 24, 2025

In episode #121 of Stavvy's World, host Stavros Halkias welcomes comedian Nick Mullen and his friend Adam Friedland for a special episode filled with laughter, personal anecdotes, and unconventional advice. This episode offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the camaraderie and humorous exchanges between the trio, making it a must-listen for fans who enjoy candid and edgy conversations.

---

1. Welcoming Friends and Tour Tales (00:00 - 06:00)

The episode kicks off with light-hearted banter and introductions as Stavros welcomes Nick and Adam to the podcast. The conversation quickly delves into their experiences on tour, highlighting the hectic and often humorous aspects of life on the road.

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias ([02:23]): "I guess not, not really. But that was a nice solve for the first four years before you guys started phoning it in."

Nick and Adam share stories about handling fan interactions and the challenges they face while touring, setting a playful and relaxed tone for the episode.

---

2. The Super Bowl Party Fiasco (06:00 - 18:00)

A major highlight of the episode is the recounting of an awkward Super Bowl party experience. Nick narrates his attempt at humor with a "mahomo" joke directed at quarterback Patrick Mahomes, which disastrously falls flat in a predominantly gay setting.

Notable Quote:

Nick Mullen ([02:48]): "I said mahomo. There were two gay guys, which, you know."

The hosts humorously dissect why the joke failed, touching on themes of social sensitivity and personal accountability. Adam adds to the laughter by recalling similar past mishaps, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's audience.

---

3. Tour Life and Brand Endorsements (18:00 - 32:00)

As the conversation shifts, Stavros discusses the rigors of touring and the essential comforts that keep him grounded, notably his partnership with Helix Sleep for mattresses. The segment seamlessly blends personal comfort preferences with light-hearted promotion.

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias ([11:11]): "They hooked the whole team up. I have slept better and I'm a plus-sized boy."

Additionally, there's a humorous exchange about managing finances on tour, including playful jabs at past purchasing decisions and financial anecdotes shared among the friends.

---

4. Listener Call-Ins and Unconventional Advice (32:00 - 57:00)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to listener call-ins, where fans seek advice on personal issues:

• Performance Anxiety: A caller grapples with premature ejaculation and seeks guidance. Nick and Adam respond with their trademark humor, suggesting anything from "eat her first" to more outrageous solutions like engaging in unconventional activities to distract from anxiety.

  Notable Quote:

  Nick Mullen ([49:27]): "Eat her first. Easy done. Next."

• Depression and Motivation: Another caller discusses struggles with depression and lack of motivation despite having a stable relationship and job. The hosts advise taking actionable steps, emphasizing the importance of starting projects without fixating on success.

  Notable Quote:

  Stavros Halkias ([74:56]): "Just do stuff. You just have to do stuff."

• Sexual Preferences and Challenges: The final call addresses issues related to sexual satisfaction and preferences, leading to a humorous yet candid discussion about intimacy and societal expectations.

  Notable Quote:

  Nick Mullen ([61:43]): "You just have to do stuff."

Throughout these segments, the hosts maintain a balance between humor and genuine advice, making light of serious topics while still providing listeners with relatable insights.

---

5. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts (57:00 - End)

As the episode winds down, Stavros and his guests reflect on the advice given and the shared experiences from the call-ins. They reiterate the importance of taking proactive steps in personal development and maintaining authentic relationships.

Notable Quote:

Adam Friedland ([74:52]): "You have to do stuff and you're going to get better at something."

The trio ends the episode with plans for upcoming tours and shows, encouraging listeners to join them on their comedic journeys.

---

Concluding Insights

Episode #121 of Stavvy's World masterfully blends humor with heartfelt conversations. Stavros Halkias, along with Nick Mullen and Adam Friedland, creates an environment where listeners can laugh at the absurdities of life while also finding relatable advice for their personal dilemmas. Whether recounting embarrassing social fails or tackling sensitive listener questions, the episode underscores the value of friendship, resilience, and the ever-important ability to find humor in every situation.

Engage with the Show: Listeners are encouraged to join the community by calling in at 904-800-STAV, where they can receive personalized advice and become part of Stav's world.

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Note: This summary focuses solely on the content-rich portions of the episode, omitting advertisements, intros, outros, and non-essential segments as per the guidelines.

Transcript

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Nick Mullen]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Nick Mullen]

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[Caller]

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[Nick Mullen]

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[Caller]

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[Stavros Halkias]

Welcome everybody to stop his world. 904-800-STEP. Call in will solve all your problems. Special episode here I got my old pal Nick Mullen on the couch. Adam Friedland is also might be here. He's actually in the living room taking a call. Oh, Elders with the big guns right off the top, dude. Elders got the classic guitar riff that's.

[Adam Friedland]

Probably gonna like cause an issue with somebody. They're gon that and they're gonna just pull over. It'd be like falling down.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, they're gonna start crying. They're gonna remember 18 in their life being like horrible but like having a great time. Yeah, that.

[Nick Mullen]

I can't imagine all the people out.

[Adam Friedland]

There who would slid my throat to be sitting in this chair right now. Do you ever get like people after shows? Like I. People are like, man, you know, cometown really helped me through a hard time. And then I. I pretty universally I'll say to them like, well, I hope things are going better now. Yeah, 50% of time. Well, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

I guess not, not really. But that was a nice solve for the first four years before you guys started phoning it in. Ah, look who it is. Sit down.

[Adam Friedland]

Oh, let's hear.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's go.

[Adam Friedland]

What happened 20 minutes before he leaves, you guys? Maya, can you call me before we start?

[Nick Mullen]

No, it wasn't mine.

[Adam Friedland]

Can you pretend to be mad?

[Nick Mullen]

No, it's her brother.

[Adam Friedland]

I said I thought of this great joke about Patrick Mahomes and I don't have a way to work it in like it's I'm coming up with it on the spot, so I need you to come up with a fake story about how everyone's.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's my one chance?

[Nick Mullen]

I feel bad.

[Adam Friedland]

What's my one chance?

[Nick Mullen]

Okay. My friend. His girlfriend's friends were there. And then I'm.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you're at a Super bowl party and this is coming out, probably.

[Nick Mullen]

And I guess I said, right? I said, momo.

[Adam Friedland]

I guess I said, mahomo.

[Nick Mullen]

I said mahomo. There were two gay guys, which, you.

[Adam Friedland]

Know, I think of jokes like that all the time.

[Nick Mullen]

But then he was like, no, no, no.

[Adam Friedland]

But then he was like, that's just. You know, like, after I left everyone.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm just.

[Adam Friedland]

I can't help myself.

[Nick Mullen]

It's just.

[Adam Friedland]

Just riffs.

[Nick Mullen]

No, it's hateful. It's a hateful joke.

[Adam Friedland]

The funniest person that. And that's not me. I'm not hateful. I'm not a hateful guy. You know me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Nick Mullen]

I didn't realize those guys were gay.

[Adam Friedland]

You were at a gay party?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Somebody put the Super Bowl.

[Nick Mullen]

I was on Christopher street in the West Village. No.

[Stavros Halkias]

But then everyone's in leather overall.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. Leader hoses. Yeah. With butt flats.

[Adam Friedland]

The guy dressed up like a native American got very mad at me. So I went over to the construction worker and I said, what the hell is this guy's problem?

[Nick Mullen]

I thought I was at a blue collar, sort of working men's event.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep, yep.

[Nick Mullen]

No, but the worst part is that he was just like. Yeah. After you left, everyone was like, what the was he on?

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow, that's an embarrassing thing.

[Nick Mullen]

I made an ass bombed.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not that you made a homophobic joke. If you made that joke and everybody loved it, you'd be like, I'm the man.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, I kept also saying that Kendrick Lamar should apologize for anti Semitism during the half halftime show.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's funny.

[Nick Mullen]

Which I believe. That is not a joke.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really? What do you say? That's anti Semitic.

[Nick Mullen]

They not like us.

[Stavros Halkias]

By the way, thanks, Adam, for making this episode that comes out in April. Instantly dated from minute three.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, sorry, Kendrick.

[Adam Friedland]

Two weeks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, so it's. My birthday is coming up. Is April.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's Aries Hitler's birthday, right?

[Nick Mullen]

What?

[Adam Friedland]

April 20th.

[Stavros Halkias]

April 20th.

[Nick Mullen]

He used the word belligerent. I wasn't be. I had. It's very embarrassing.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is embarrassing. No, no, it's really embarrassing to have a party for you to leave a party and everyone be like, that guy.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. That's what happened last night.

[Adam Friedland]

That's like, what happens in your mind.

[Stavros Halkias]

Was that idiot.

[Adam Friedland]

That's the thing you tell your therapist. They're like, well, of course that didn't happen.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe a couple people would have been annoyed, but I'm sure you're fine. But no, everyone was like, oh, thank God he's gone.

[Nick Mullen]

No, but apparently they were also offended that me and the guy I was sitting next to were reading Kanye's tweets to. To each other.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hilarious.

[Nick Mullen]

But I'm Jewish. I could read.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can do it.

[Nick Mullen]

I could read swastika stuff. You can't be offended by it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you bring food to the party?

[Nick Mullen]

I brought. No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, so you're a bad guest. You go to a Super bowl party and you call people.

[Nick Mullen]

I called Patrick Mahomes guy.

[Adam Friedland]

Remember when he went to the wedding and he thought, he thought it was a valid gift that he paid for his own flight to go to the wedding.

[Nick Mullen]

My presence is a presence. My presence is a present.

[Stavros Halkias]

And by the way, we all know what you were making. We were all pretty rich at the time.

[Nick Mullen]

No, we weren't. No, we weren't.

[Stavros Halkias]

We were pretty. We were.

[Nick Mullen]

No, we were making like 4, 000amonth, each of us.

[Adam Friedland]

And you were buying like a six thousand dollar oven at the time.

[Nick Mullen]

No, that's, that's okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you, you had Lying on my damn. Making money in entertainment, basically.

[Nick Mullen]

I mean, it was phenomenal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You couldn't have said us.

[Adam Friedland]

You could have bought them a hundred dollars.

[Stavros Halkias]

100. Yeah, exactly. The cheapest thing on their registration.

[Nick Mullen]

I went to that wedding because I knew I like wouldn't talk to the guy again if I didn't go to the wedding. And I have not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, because they were like. He didn't even.

[Nick Mullen]

No, no, it's not my fault. It's not my fault.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you didn't get him a present.

[Nick Mullen]

No, it's because my bohemian lifestyle just didn't jive with it. Because now.

[Adam Friedland]

Bohomian.

[Stavros Halkias]

Bohemian.

[Nick Mullen]

Come on, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's good. Come on, man.

[Adam Friedland]

Have I been at that party? The meme, the, the. The human resources.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ew, he's creepy.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, Adam, if you had come through with like an amazing buffalo dip or like something or a dessert, they would have been like, you know what? He was weird. He had, he was, he said that.

[Adam Friedland]

Weird thing, but he brought Mountain Dew, code red.

[Stavros Halkias]

Mountain Dew, code red. And the sliders were awesome.

[Nick Mullen]

No, no, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think it would have helped. For real, because you What?

[Nick Mullen]

Because those, those gay guys that were Would have been like, they like dips. What are you talking about?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, if you're come through. Yes.

[Nick Mullen]

No, they were policing homophobic again. Guess what?

[Stavros Halkias]

You guys don't like dip.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm sorry our guy got reelected. I'm sorry it's elite. It's legal now to say ma, it's the Super Bowl. You can say I'm sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, yeah, it is also just not that good. It is like it wasn't good enough.

[Nick Mullen]

It was a throwaway.

[Stavros Halkias]

Why would you say that? A group of people you don't know.

[Nick Mullen]

Because I know half of them and we say that.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it was a joke. You were trying to be funny and you bombed.

[Nick Mullen]

No, I didn't. No. I was just like, oh, Mahomo, you bomb so bad.

[Adam Friedland]

You're getting calls about it now.

[Stavros Halkias]

I wasn't at the Apollo. We all know what it's like to bomb social socially. And you bombed at the.

[Nick Mullen]

I've never bombed socially.

[Stavros Halkias]

You just did. There's fallout from a Super bowl party.

[Nick Mullen]

Imagine people actually. Well, imagine people after you leave somewhere being like.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, that's crazy.

[Adam Friedland]

Also, if there's any place that's like, it's acceptable for there to be one guy that's like racist or homophobic at a football event. Usually you have your uncle, like, zoomed in.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, Right.

[Adam Friedland]

And he's like, well, so usually those. These guys are violent animals, but when they're the quarterback, they have the brain of a wide. So they're okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. That is hilarious, man. But yeah, if you. If you would come with something, a nice offering. You go to a Super bowl, they weren't the host.

[Adam Friedland]

He wrote down. He wrote down on a painted, posted note, he wrote down, say, patrick Mahomo. And he folded it up and he put it. He put it in his pocket.

[Stavros Halkias]

He was sweating.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He hadn't said anything funny in a while.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And he's just like, patrick breaking class, breaking case of emergency.

[Nick Mullen]

It's like the game is gone.

[Stavros Halkias]

By the way, he had d. He had a.

[Nick Mullen]

Whatever. They talked.

[Stavros Halkias]

He had a horrible game.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

There was nothing to be like, ah, Mahomo about. He was blowing it. He threw a piece.

[Nick Mullen]

First quarter, I said, mahomo, but he hadn't scored.

[Stavros Halkias]

He. He didn't score until the second half. He had a horrible game.

[Nick Mullen]

But everyone's expecting he's gonna do his magic all over again.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you weren't even.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't remember why you're shaking right now.

[Stavros Halkias]

You weren't even locked into. It wasn't Even appropriate to say it. You did force Momo.

[Nick Mullen]

I miss you guys so much. I'm so happy right now. I. I don't think I've been this happy in three years. I. And I lost these friends, so I need. I need this back right now. Stop. Don't go on tour.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm going on tour. Started two months. Two months ago. We're in the middle of it. Please buy tickets to see me on the Dreamboat tour coming up. Where are we all this. Figure out what's coming, what dates are coming up. Do a little fucking producing, for Christ's sake. I love this guy. We're on the bus, you know, we're getting eldest.

[Adam Friedland]

It was funny at the beginning of the super bowl when they were like. And here we are in New Orleans, the site of a horrific terrorist attack at the beginning of the year. And it's like. Yeah, no one remembers.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I don't even. Some guy shot.

[Adam Friedland]

Like, some guy drove a truck.

[Nick Mullen]

Car. It was a car.

[Adam Friedland]

You know, a bunch of people that were gonna die of alcohol poisoning in 45 minutes anyways.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, he's getting another call.

[Nick Mullen]

We're in Columbia, Missouri, tonight.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're in Columbia, Missouri, tonight.

[Adam Friedland]

It was a fake.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was a fake. Oh, my God. We start. We moved on. He was like. He was like, wait, let's go back.

[Adam Friedland]

To talking about me four minutes ago.

[Stavros Halkias]

They were gonna maybe move on to a different topic of conversation.

[Nick Mullen]

We don't have to talk about this anymore.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, what did they say? You said you were gonna.

[Nick Mullen]

Let's talk about you, Stav.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. What do you want to talk.

[Nick Mullen]

I don. I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what the cruelest part about being on tour is? Being separated from my Helix Sleep mattress. Oh, it's like a cloud, baby. I sleep gorgeously. Look, we get a nice night's rest in our bunks on a moving vehicle, but it's nothing compared to the Helix sleep. Ever since we've been with Helix at this point, Eldest. What, it's been a couple years now, right?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, definitely.

[Stavros Halkias]

They hooked the whole team up. I have slept better and I'm a plus sized boy. Ok. Sometimes I have back issues if I don't sleep on my Helix mattress, but with it, no back issues to speak of. It's wonderful. I miss it. I have a week off. I'm about to snooze. I'm going to try and hit 10 hours on my bed a night. I got it. Eldest has it. They have all different types of body types. Yeah. Did we get. I don't remember what it's called, but it's for the most plus size of plus size people. They got everything for you. Get a Helix mattress. Be like me. Eldis. Benny butt cheeks has a Helix mattress. We got the whole team on Helixes. We want you to be a Helix boy or girl, just like us. Go to helixsleep.comstavi for the March Madness sale. That's 20% off site wide. That's helixsleep.comstavi for the March Madness sale. Helixsleep.comstavi I'm an uncle. That's my biggest life thing right now.

[Adam Friedland]

No, no, no, no.

[Nick Mullen]

Cat, a kid.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep. Yeah, yeah. I'm going uncle mode. I'm pumped. Well. Oh, that is pretty sick, dude. Honestly, none of us yet. Because you don't. Only child.

[Adam Friedland]

It's funny because you're gonna be. There'll be like events when your Nephew is like 20.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

And you're the like woke uncle.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Adam Friedland]

You know, that's like ruining Thanksgiving because you're like, I think they're people and they're like, oh my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Oh my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is funny. He's 20. I'm gonna be 55. That's crazy. And yeah, I'm gonna be.

[Adam Friedland]

Wait, what?

[Nick Mullen]

It's a boy, right?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, I'm bad at math. I don't know why I tried to check you on that one. I'm like, don't you mean 72?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's. It's adding 20 to 35.

[Nick Mullen]

Disagree with that.

[Adam Friedland]

I just saw Oppenheimer.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm trying out a new thing.

[Adam Friedland]

Is it 75?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Dude, I'm uncle. I can't wait to, you know, get high and watch John wick with a 15 year old in 15 years.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, your nephew.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Now, stuff like this used to be important.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. This.

[Adam Friedland]

This is culture coming out.

[Stavros Halkias]

I am excited about it.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah. I don't know. I was by the time four. I mean, I watched.

[Stavros Halkias]

I loved four.

[Adam Friedland]

I was like, karate.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was good though. The Japanese part was awesome.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah. I don't even remember.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was fucking good. I actually really. I liked it one more than three.

[Adam Friedland]

One and two I loved.

[Stavros Halkias]

Three was just. Okay.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Four was, I thought, a return to form, if a little long for my taste, but it just ended. It was basically two different movies. Yeah, but mashed together. Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

It should have been 4 and 5.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, I mean, I liked it how it was.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cuz that's like, you know, I don't want. I don't have to wait a whole. But yeah, three was a little. Whatever. And one thing I will say. Why weren't there tits in that movie? Movie. In those movies.

[Nick Mullen]

Good point.

[Stavros Halkias]

Kind of up.

[Adam Friedland]

Like, actually, we'll be in a girl movie.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't think so, dude. Yeah, that's a up Thing that we've done is like, everything's got to be good for China. Even our action movies.

[Nick Mullen]

It used to be like, China's the bad guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, China doesn't want tits in their movies, do they?

[Adam Friedland]

I think everybody does.

[Nick Mullen]

I think it's against.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't they want you to be like. I don't know.

[Adam Friedland]

I think you just can't criticize China. Right. Everything else is. And then you can't.

[Stavros Halkias]

You show tits.

[Adam Friedland]

You can't have black people in the post.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right, right, right. They' but, yeah, go ahead. Yeah. Can you show boobs in Chinese movies?

[Nick Mullen]

Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, see, why are Chinese dramas more conservative? Yeah. So what I'm saying is, like, think about. Let's see. Classic Schwarzenegger movie. Like, there's. I feel like there were tits. And like, even Terminator Romance. True Romance had a nice amount.

[Nick Mullen]

Total Recall had three.

[Stavros Halkias]

Rico had three Tits.

[Adam Friedland]

Three.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you could kind of see. And you, like, you really wanted to. Sharon Stone, even though you didn't really see her naked or anything, but you saw her in. That's in the Basic Instinct.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which, you know, I'd rather see tits. I think apparently I'd rather feel and see.

[Nick Mullen]

No one on set knew.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you mean?

[Nick Mullen]

That she was gonna show Beaver.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, Newman must have been.

[Nick Mullen]

That must have been fun that day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Honestly, I would have been like, oh, like if a showed her in a movie, I didn't know it was coming, I would have been like, oh, no. Someone.

[Nick Mullen]

Someone was like, thank God I'm a best boy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

That makes more sense.

[Nick Mullen]

That makes my whole life than if.

[Adam Friedland]

They went to Sharon Stone and be like, yeah, so here's a script. And you know, like, you're bad or something. Yeah. In the scene, you show your.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

No. And then it continues, you know, it's cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a cool movie.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

She's like, okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Okay.

[Adam Friedland]

And also, if you're the director and, like, do you do a take where she shows her and she's like, how is that? You can't be like, yeah, we're not gonna use that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, what the Call the police showed everybody your. That is another one of the. The HR memes things. Imagine if an ugly is like, I'm showing My. In this room, they've been like, we're going to jail.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, why don't I shove my. In James Khan's face? Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

You see. You see her hooters?

[Stavros Halkias]

I like that. A fat old lady's tits are kind of fun to look at.

[Adam Friedland]

She should have done it in Titanic.

[Nick Mullen]

Jack should have drawn the unfuckable Molly Brown. Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Jack should have drawn Cathy.

[Stavros Halkias]

He should have done both. Should have been like, all right, I gotta. I'm gonna chill for a little bit. And then he just. Kath debates right after.

[Nick Mullen]

He's just been on a.

[Stavros Halkias]

He just like, four girls on the Titanic.

[Nick Mullen]

He. Fabrizio.

[Stavros Halkias]

One Irish guy. Oh, yeah. Fabrizio was kind of hot.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

I found a YouTube video that's like. Like, in Loving memory of Fabrizio. It's like a montage of all of his scenes set to like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

And it's like, this is the. This is the character you attach to this movie. And there's all these people. Fabrizio is my favorite character.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

In love with that wop up.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't really. I mean, I just remember him being his poor friend. Did he. How did Fabrizio die in that movie?

[Adam Friedland]

The smoke. The smokestack crushes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's right. Pull up Fabrizio. Titanic for sake.

[Nick Mullen]

Pull up Fabricio nude.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

It kind of looks like. Like Nick a little bit.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, he doesn't at all.

[Nick Mullen]

If Nick got the hat that could.

[Stavros Halkias]

He doesn't look like this guy looks.

[Nick Mullen]

I meant in a handsome way.

[Stavros Halkias]

But he doesn't look Danny Nucci. He also is the kind of Italian that actually has a claim to saying he's not white. He kind of looks a little Colombian. Stop. Give him his. Give him the vape.

[Nick Mullen]

It's my bob.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'll just start up. Elders, start a timer. They have to switch vapes back and forth.

[Nick Mullen]

It's mine.

[Stavros Halkias]

How long do you guys want to switch?

[Adam Friedland]

The socialist podcast. Dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is true.

[Adam Friedland]

We share things.

[Stavros Halkias]

Actually, we're apolitical. We really stay out of.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm center left. Left.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your center left. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

[Nick Mullen]

I've been watching West. This is the most lib. I've been watching it since Trump won to remember. Oh, my God. But, like, it's so funny. It's so funny what the issues of the day were. They were like, should gay guys go to the army?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

That's like, what people are doing.

[Adam Friedland]

The resolution.

[Nick Mullen]

Wear uniforms to school.

[Adam Friedland]

The resolution in that episode isn't it's like the. The one of the Black Joint Chiefs. I forget that actor.

[Stavros Halkias]

I remember. I didn't watch that.

[Nick Mullen]

She's like, LeVar Burton. Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

He's like, you just not be Lamar.

[Stavros Halkias]

Burton was in the Michael Winslow.

[Adam Friedland]

You're thinking of Star Wars.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Jordy LaFloy. Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sounds like a hot girl.

[Adam Friedland]

I can't see. Get off me. I can't see.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wait, was that a real guy?

[Adam Friedland]

Jordy?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, it was a real guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who's Jordy?

[Adam Friedland]

Jordy was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh.

[Adam Friedland]

Oh, I didn't know you guys love on Star Trek. His name's Jordy laforge.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow. I. I get. Right. I get what we were doing now. Yeah, yeah. I never watched Star Trek. You know what? I've been on my Tik Toks or my YouTube shorts. What's come up a lot is Seth McFarland's weird Star Trek show. Have you seen that? Like. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

It's bizarre with Steve Carell.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Nick Mullen]

Space.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, no, no. This is just like Seth McFarland just straight up made his own Star Trek. And I've only watched it through YouTube shorts, and it's just like, kind of feels like great value Star Trek. Like they have their own Klingons.

[Nick Mullen]

Cleveland in it or no?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, Cleveland's like, I. I want to get some alien or whatever.

[Nick Mullen]

The giggity giggity.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's quagmire.

[Nick Mullen]

I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

I have been also watching a lot.

[Nick Mullen]

I feel like it's so funny.

[Adam Friedland]

Farland did that. Then Jean Luc Picard should do that with Family Guy.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, and then we go a little bit.

[Adam Friedland]

I'm Cleveland.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm Cleveland.

[Adam Friedland]

Look at me, I'm Cleveland.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's go get together. Stewie, take that.

[Nick Mullen]

Y.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who's the gay? Who's. Oh, Seth.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, he's saying that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is he gay or is he. Everything about him.

[Adam Friedland]

Oh, I think Picard's taking shots.

[Nick Mullen]

The baby's gay. And Family Guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Stew's gay's gay, which is an interesting move.

[Nick Mullen]

McFarland's gay, too. No, he's a friend. He's a friend.

[Stavros Halkias]

Has he done this? Are you trying to get him on the show?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, he did that one time. I was saying something completely innocuous about Post Malone.

[Nick Mullen]

He's a friend.

[Adam Friedland]

And then Adam goes, stop, stop, stop. He's a fan.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's a fan.

[Nick Mullen]

My friend does Bud Light commercials. One of my best friends does Bud Light commercials with him. Well, he would call me his best friend. He's just one of my friends.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, he kept. He was like, on tire. Sh. Was like, damn, I miss Adam.

[Nick Mullen]

Did he say that?

[Stavros Halkias]

Jim said it every day. Yeah, I wish he would.

[Nick Mullen]

He sent me multiple texts, like, the morning after, like, seeing him where he's like, you know, I don't actually hate every Jew on Earth.

[Stavros Halkias]

For some reason. Seeing you brings that out of him, huh?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

It'S also. It's like nobody hated every one of them, right? Even Hitler. There was like, a guy that made, like, biscuits for him or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really?

[Adam Friedland]

I think so. No, no, there was a guy. It was like his childhood doctor.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Adam Friedland]

And he's like, this guy's the one, right? This guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's the no homers. Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

They call it Hitler's favorite.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, don't. Don't Google Hitler's biscuit.

[Nick Mullen]

Why can't he. You can Google whatever you want X.

[Stavros Halkias]

Out of this, man. I don't even.

[Nick Mullen]

Why don't. What's gonna happen?

[Adam Friedland]

Okay, German biscuit giant apologizes for.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, Google it again.

[Nick Mullen]

Google it again.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's see what Hitler's biscuit Jew comes up.

[Nick Mullen]

The boys are back in town.

[Stavros Halkias]

The boys are back in town. This episode got demonetized the second we recorded. Who cares?

[Nick Mullen]

Check out the Adam Friedland show the Times of Israel. Check. Click that one. It's probably the truth.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't. Don't do that one, dude. Go to Politico.

[Nick Mullen]

You won't even click Israel.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, don't give him our clicks, man.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, stop. Roast.

[Stavros Halkias]

In this day and age, German biscuit titan says sorry for taking and pickup maker admits it used forced labors during World War II. They used columns. The Hogos was making chocolate biscuits.

[Adam Friedland]

I bet those slave cookies tasted.

[Nick Mullen]

Stop. You jealous?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm kind of jealous now. I want a cookie.

[Adam Friedland]

You see that brand in the store? Sometimes I see those cookies, the Leave Nibble ones, and I'm like, maybe I can.

[Nick Mullen]

Look how big that guy's. Wait, look at the guy on the right. Is that his.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not his.

[Nick Mullen]

Wait, no, right there. It's like, past his knee.

[Adam Friedland]

I don't think that's water damage.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's not his. Yeah, zoom in, Eldest. Oh, I thought it was enhancement. Enhance. So, okay, so go. Now zoom out.

[Nick Mullen]

What is that? What?

[Stavros Halkias]

What kind of cookies? This. Let's look at.

[Adam Friedland]

They have. They're like shortbread.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's look at the cookies. Keep scrolling, man. Maybe they have a picture of the cookies. I'm hungry.

[Adam Friedland]

Sugar coated apology issued.

[Stavros Halkias]

A sugar coated apology for the comments. Okay, whatever. Yeah, look Up. What kind of cookies these are?

[Adam Friedland]

They're good. They're like shortbread. They're like, you know, the little scotty dog cookies.

[Nick Mullen]

These.

[Adam Friedland]

You never. This is surprising.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh. Oh, yes. Those are good.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, these are good. Lebens. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you're right. I have seen these.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, these are good.

[Adam Friedland]

Sometimes I'll eat like a whole box of these and be like, it's fine. It's like I'm in France.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm Parisian.

[Nick Mullen]

It's like I'm in the holocaust.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hey, come on, madam.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, shut up. In this day and age.

[Adam Friedland]

Dude, there's one going on right now.

[Stavros Halkias]

There. Yep.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. The new hot. It's April, right? The holocaust has started.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is it seasonal?

[Nick Mullen]

No, I mean it's by at this point, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I hope not. That would be.

[Nick Mullen]

Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm coming out.

[Adam Friedland]

You definitely would have gotten away with it if they just did it a little bit every year. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Good point.

[Adam Friedland]

If they only. There was like one oven. They just did like.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you mean like a slow burn. We're talking not metaphorical. You mean like.

[Nick Mullen]

And we're back for real?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think a year.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't think they.

[Adam Friedland]

Just a thousand.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't think they. I'm gonna go on a limb and say I don't think could do a th000 get away with it.

[Adam Friedland]

Israel does it? Yeah, but that's not mowing the lawn. They do. That's what they call it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Christ.

[Adam Friedland]

I'm not kidding. Look up mowing the lawn.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't look that up. Let's go back to talking about cookies.

[Nick Mullen]

That's what my dad.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just look up the phrase mowing the lawn. Let's see what comes up.

[Nick Mullen]

That's what my dad calls taking a. He's like, I'm going to go mow the lawn or talk to my green lawn care.

[Adam Friedland]

You have to add a little context.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's all. That's all you get. All you get is mowing the lawn.

[Adam Friedland]

Second result. The. That's that. Tell me that's not the American history X guy.

[Nick Mullen]

Holy.

[Stavros Halkias]

The Home Depot. The Home depot commercial. The Home depot link. Let's talk mowers. What are your favorite mowers? You seem like a guy that I.

[Adam Friedland]

Would never get on a ride on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really? I would have guessed for sure.

[Adam Friedland]

You want the laziest I've ever seen.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, because you were a bonsai guy.

[Adam Friedland]

No, I tried the thing to sprout. Yeah. And then I realized it takes to like 25 years.

[Nick Mullen]

Years.

[Adam Friedland]

And I was like, this is some stupid Japanese.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you don't want, you don't want to go zen or whatever.

[Adam Friedland]

Not with doing gardening.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you want to go like?

[Adam Friedland]

I, I taking kratom.

[Nick Mullen]

Do you have a lawn?

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't have a lawn.

[Nick Mullen]

None of your properties?

[Stavros Halkias]

My property. You have 11 houses, my brother. I have, I have 2.5 shitty homes in southeast Baltimore. My family lives in 1.5 of them.

[Nick Mullen]

So you got one.

[Adam Friedland]

What do you mean 1.5?

[Nick Mullen]

I. I basically has.

[Stavros Halkias]

I bought half my mother's home to help her out, basically. And then I also have the house that my brothers live. Used to live in that now I think my dad. Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Imagining it was like, you know, you guys are not allowed to come.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I put a strip of light down the middle. Yeah. 90s sitcom style. This side of the house is mine. This episode of Starvies World. That's right. It's brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah, folks, we're on the tour. It's no secret. I'm on the bus again. I've been on this thing five days in a row. Eldis Saxon. Jamel's on here right now. Too much. You know what I'm doing today? I'm hitting up booking.com and I'm finding a luxurious hotel with a big bathtub for me to soak. And you know, I like to get my soaks in. And I'm doing that through booking.com. i was very. I was lucky. I hit up booking.com, found a place a block from the venue, five stars. Got a pretty good. Got a pretty good rate on it. That's what booking.com has. Whatever you're looking for, it's a nice bargain, whether it's a hotel room, some kind of extended stay. We've done places with kitchens so I can cook my chicken and peps. Whatever you're looking for, booking.com has got it. No matter who you are, booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, well, it's empty before it's.

[Stavros Halkias]

I want another water eldest. Would you want. Would you get our guests a couple liquid deaths? And you know what? I also have a little surprise for them. Get those, Get a couple boxes of those bees cookies.

[Adam Friedland]

I'm so. I'm. I'm sorry if I got a little too spicy with the mowing lawn.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, that's all right, man.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you. What do you see?

[Adam Friedland]

That is real though. Did you not know that?

[Stavros Halkias]

I. I don't know the phrase mowing the law.

[Nick Mullen]

Thank God at this point, Gaza is the 51st state they've opened.

[Stavros Halkias]

Trump. Trump. The Trump. Taj Mahal. Two. Two on the Gaza City on the beach.

[Nick Mullen]

Gorgeous.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, man. We are. It is hilarious. I wonder how fucked will be in April. I wonder if eggs will cost $40.

[Adam Friedland]

But you just said you can't have eggs anymore.

[Stavros Halkias]

I like egg whites.

[Adam Friedland]

I love those commercials for eggs when I was a kid with the old man, it would be like the incredible edible.

[Stavros Halkias]

The incredible edible egg.

[Adam Friedland]

And then there was a stinger on the end or some old ass man. He would look at the camera and goes, I love eggs.

[Stavros Halkias]

They are good. And I love a fried egg sandwich and I love a little bacon.

[Adam Friedland]

I didn't like eggs growing up until I learned how to cook eggs when I was like 28.

[Stavros Halkias]

There we go. Oh, those are iced teas. And we each get a little box of cookies. And they're fresh, by the way. They're fresh. They were baked to celebrate the birth of my nephew. So these aren't from Christmas. These are from.

[Adam Friedland]

Where did she get the boxes?

[Stavros Halkias]

She gets them from Michael's, I believe.

[Adam Friedland]

Oh, okay.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, man. What a lady.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

I had a good experience at Michael's the other day.

[Stavros Halkias]

What happened?

[Adam Friedland]

Adam ripped one of the set. Oh, my God.

[Nick Mullen]

It wasn't my fault.

[Adam Friedland]

We spent $4,000 each on those chairs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

They're like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wait, you got real chairs?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You didn't get like the dudes?

[Adam Friedland]

No, no, no.

[Nick Mullen]

On the Real Dick Cavit show, he.

[Stavros Halkias]

Used dupes of cool. Why would you just get dupes?

[Nick Mullen]

Nick says they all have to be sourced from the same place. We found a guy in Pennsylvania because the leather has to match. Adam said another thing.

[Adam Friedland]

He blamed his friend.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, Max. Oh, right. Because he said he is a furniture guy.

[Adam Friedland]

So Max says those are Time Life lobby chairs to see if you can find those. I said, okay. And then there was a courthouse house getting rid of some guy. Found like 17 of them in a courthouse.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, nice.

[Adam Friedland]

And they were the right color. I was like, great. You know, and I did cut a deal on. They were like 42 or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

Jesus Christ.

[Adam Friedland]

And so, yeah, we got for 300 years. But they're. They're 50 year old chairs. So yeah, you can turn around and sell them for the same.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's cool.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, but they are like, you know, vintage designer chairs. Yeah, and he ripped the button.

[Nick Mullen]

There's no. There's Nothing connecting me to that button.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you really do that, man?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, he ripped one of them, so I had to put the button back on the chair, and I needed. I had to learn how to.

[Nick Mullen]

You weren't even there.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm asking.

[Nick Mullen]

Why would.

[Stavros Halkias]

I asked you. Did you do it? Wow. The crowd. The crowd has turned on you.

[Nick Mullen]

Elders, I'm your only friend in this room.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not true. He's my best friend.

[Nick Mullen]

He's telling you not to Google. You can Google whatever you want, Elders.

[Stavros Halkias]

You. You have Google privileges now. You tried to. To ask to Google when we were doing our final.

[Nick Mullen]

I didn't know that was a separate project.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was a separate project. Elder's mic.

[Nick Mullen]

Welcome to the Adam Friedland show.

[Stavros Halkias]

Go ahead. Yeah, yeah. You know what? Host from the. Host from the guest chair.

[Nick Mullen]

Sabras, you're recently in Hawaii, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

No.

[Nick Mullen]

And you. You recently had the birth of a nephew.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Nick Mullen]

Congratulations. So what you're saying is when you're.

[Stavros Halkias]

55, it was just not even sort of true?

[Nick Mullen]

I don't know. That's something they say on talk shows.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm trying to get better at this talk show.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right? There you go. Practice on us.

[Nick Mullen]

I mean, you haven't been seeing my growth.

[Stavros Halkias]

I've seen your growth. But this pretend.

[Adam Friedland]

Pretend get even crazier.

[Nick Mullen]

You're the Black Eyed Peas.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. He's. I'm. I'm Fergie. He's Will. I am.

[Nick Mullen]

Okay.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Eldest is the.

[Nick Mullen]

The Native American.

[Adam Friedland]

Yes.

[Nick Mullen]

What's your name?

[Adam Friedland]

Is the Black Eyed Peas. I'm the Roots.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. I'm the whole band. The Black Eyed Peas.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

So what was it like working with Scott Storch?

[Adam Friedland]

It was awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

We never worked with him, but we like the videos where he's high as playing, getting a haircut.

[Nick Mullen]

Getting a haircut, smoking a cigarette.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I like to imagine what. How much scotch because he's kind of ugly. But he was in Miami and he, like, lost all his money on bunch. Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

He lost, like, $200 billion because he got addicted to yachts and cocaine. There's a really good drink champs with him, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really?

[Nick Mullen]

From, like, eight years ago where he talks about this thing called the Miami Blizz wizard that him and his friends got into, where he was like, I was with a massive pop star icon woman. And he wouldn't say the name of people. People think it's Mariah Carey.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh.

[Nick Mullen]

And he said, do you want any cocaine? And she said, yes, but not. I don't do it in my nose. I do it in my Kulo. So what? He took a straw and he had to blow it into her. Her bum. And then him and his friends got addicted to this thing they called the Miami Blizzard, where they'd line up porn stars and then they blow drugs into their asses.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. That's awesome. That actually sounds.

[Nick Mullen]

What a cool guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

One of the coolest guys blowing it into their asses.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Mariah Carey. Come on. You think so?

[Adam Friedland]

I mean, fantasies about.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Spread me open.

[Nick Mullen]

Let it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let it blow. I'm a little rusty. How does that go?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, I don't know. I just remember the name of the song.

[Nick Mullen]

Sweet, Sweet Fantasy Baby. That's it. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which one am I singing? Is that. Is that fancy?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.

[Stavros Halkias]

I get every night sucking dick. Get. Ah, damn. Yeah, I've lost my touch, man.

[Nick Mullen]

No, come on. We. We get it back.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we gotta get it ready for our veg.

[Nick Mullen]

After my 14th divorce settlement. Yeah. I've never signed a prenup.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

She loves me, guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, yeah, you are the kind of idiot that.

[Nick Mullen]

She has a checkered pass, but she loves me. It's different this time.

[Adam Friedland]

It's an actual. It's an actual dog, just married to Pomeranian.

[Nick Mullen]

Her brother from the Ukraine lives with us and is clearly a guy that's just the.

[Adam Friedland]

Out of her costume.

[Nick Mullen]

No, her brother moved in with.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's a refugee. You just hear like, yeah, yeah. Oh, they're doing folk dancing.

[Nick Mullen]

No, they're doing doggies.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Just loud doggies. My parents are over for her brother and her do. Yeah, they're doing the clogging. They're refugees from the war.

[Stavros Halkias]

Every wife is the same age, no matter how old you are. They're all 27 or whatever.

[Nick Mullen]

They're all, yeah, yeah, yeah. I justify because I'm anti Putin and.

[Stavros Halkias]

They'Re Ukrainian refugees, even though they're just Russians. Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm just bragging about how I'm kind of a good guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Have you. Are you planning your wedding, Adam? Are you. Are you. Have you gotten addressed yet?

[Nick Mullen]

Whatever. Every plan that I've proposed has been outright rejected.

[Adam Friedland]

Rejected.

[Nick Mullen]

I asked if me and three friends could do. Could do.

[Adam Friedland]

Because they're all based on, like, Adam Sandler movies.

[Nick Mullen]

No, they're not.

[Adam Friedland]

You have, like, bad ideas.

[Nick Mullen]

I asked if me and three friends could do each verse of International Players Animatronic. It's a wedding song.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a wedding song. Isn't it? Like, he's retiring from getting.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He sent a text to a girl he used to see.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

And he said that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which is I cc all the girls that I used to see around town.

[Nick Mullen]

You know, I plan on sending texts to girls I used to see. Just so you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just so you know, you could speak.

[Nick Mullen]

Now with ever hold.

[Stavros Halkias]

Even though you've been dating for years. Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, I. I know I've. I've been with the love of my life for six years. But.

[Stavros Halkias]

But if any of the insane woman from the Internet that I. After my.

[Nick Mullen]

Remember Michelle? Remember Michelle?

[Stavros Halkias]

She.

[Nick Mullen]

She was like on the episode. Episode 4 of Come Town or something. That girl that I. Korean. The Korean girl, she used to. She used to send nudes to other guys from my bed. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, I forgot about her.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm still. I'm friends with Michelle, but she reminded me the other day.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, she's friends with. She used to send her tits to other guys in your bed. And you're like, we're pals.

[Nick Mullen]

We weren't dating. We used to stop.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Nick Mullen]

And she was. Yeah, she's crazy. I was like, but she's my girl. But that.

[Stavros Halkias]

She reminded me.

[Nick Mullen]

She reminded me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sounds pretty cool. Now that I think she.

[Nick Mullen]

She. She has a boyfriend now. She reminded me that she. That she asked in 2011. In 2011, she asked me for a dick pic.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it was.

[Nick Mullen]

It was the first dick pic I'd ever sent. And I didn't know, so I just pulled my pants down, took a picture of my flaccid penis. I didn't know you were supposed to get bored.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you mean?

[Nick Mullen]

And she. She text. I remember she texted me back.

[Adam Friedland]

She a person.

[Stavros Halkias]

2011. You didn't know to get your dick hard?

[Nick Mullen]

That's early. It was the pig I'd ever said. And so she said, I'm actually depressed now.

[Stavros Halkias]

She said, the soft pig.

[Nick Mullen]

I. I got nervous. I was just.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's crazy, dude.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. Soft dick.

[Stavros Halkias]

You'd never send a picture of your cop.

[Nick Mullen]

It was my first dick pic.

[Adam Friedland]

Instinctually, though, you should know that's not.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's crazy, right? Did you fluff it?

[Nick Mullen]

No, I'm humble.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. Come on. That's a horrific thing to send a woman. How big is your dick?

[Adam Friedland]

Soft or. He's lying. Yeah, like actually off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

And then she's going around saying it was probably hard. Like I said it on a podcast.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. There.

[Adam Friedland]

Evidence.

[Nick Mullen]

She said, I'm actually depressed.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

No. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's like, oh, this is the worst. I said this to seven guys and this is the worst one I got back.

[Nick Mullen]

It's probably the worst one ever said to a girl.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so funny. You didn't fluff at all.

[Nick Mullen]

I didn't. I never said a dick pic before.

[Stavros Halkias]

She just. She was. You weren't sexting, you were just. She just asked for your middle of.

[Nick Mullen]

The day, like 11am she said, Send me a dick pic. LOL. So I was like, okay, so I'm.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gonna do a funny one. Nice and soft.

[Nick Mullen]

No, I didn't even do it. Hilarious.

[Stavros Halkias]

What were you doing at the time? 2011.

[Nick Mullen]

And you here?

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you in DC?

[Nick Mullen]

Had we started cometown, I think before cometown.

[Adam Friedland]

That was 2016.

[Stavros Halkias]

20 maybe the tail end of 2015.

[Adam Friedland]

26. It was 2016.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh no, I'm lying right now. It had to have been 2014 then.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, so that's even less defensible. 2014. You didn't know to send your dick hard.

[Nick Mullen]

I had a fabulous girlfriend in D.C. before I left.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh yeah, she was awesome.

[Nick Mullen]

Guys, we've been through so much together.

[Stavros Halkias]

You've had nothing but cool. I mean, you literally are married. The only cool woman.

[Nick Mullen]

We went to Japan, we went to a cabin. We went to Australia. Dude, that argument we got in, in Australia was the funniest argument of all time.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't remember it. Which one?

[Nick Mullen]

Cuz Nick was dying of laughter at arguing because I wanted to take a shower.

[Adam Friedland]

You're like.

[Nick Mullen]

You're like, I haven't fucking busted in 10 days. Oh.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh.

[Nick Mullen]

Because you were like. You were on a girlfriend trip with us in Japan.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, it was fucking annoying.

[Nick Mullen]

You're on the most annoying trip of all time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sucked. And by the way, yeah, you. I still. It was your classic little trick of like I had just fucked my foot up and I couldn't walk, remember? And I was like, oh, let's go to somewhere. Like a beat. Let's go to like Thailand before Australia, somewhere relaxing. And then it switched like Japan. If anything, Japan's cool.

[Nick Mullen]

Whatever parts of Thailand.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah, yeah, but now. But then it was like the whole trip was walking. I wanted to chill. And by the way, it wasn't close to Australia. Japan to Australia. I wanted to go somewhere near Australia.

[Nick Mullen]

That chick came over and then you text us.

[Stavros Halkias]

We were at breakfast.

[Nick Mullen]

You're like, I got the poison out of my body, boys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I'm good.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I wanted to. But you and you guys wanted to hang out a little bit.

[Nick Mullen]

She left on her lunch break, if you remember. Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

It was the middle of the day.

[Nick Mullen]

And you said, oh, so I'll see you at the show tomorrow night. And she's like, what show? And you're like, you know, the Cometown show tomorrow night? She's like, no, I just like you for your body.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a girl who's into fat guys.

[Nick Mullen]

You just liked your body? Yeah, it was amazing.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was kind of crazy.

[Nick Mullen]

She left. She left work.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was awesome. Yeah. I fell on the roof of our Airbnb.

[Nick Mullen]

I was like, I want a shower. You're like, I need to come.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I needed the bus, dude. You. You were.

[Nick Mullen]

But Nick was just sitting there, just dying of laughter.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean. I mean, showering instead of your friend getting pussy.

[Nick Mullen]

It wasn't. Instead.

[Stavros Halkias]

What a fucking ass.

[Nick Mullen]

We had three bedrooms.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you. I stand by. You can clear out and get a little lunch. It's basically like, switch the order of your shower.

[Adam Friedland]

I chose to be Switzerland. If you remember, During World War II, Germany was killing all these Jews. Britain got mad about it, and Switzerland said, I'm just going to sit here and laugh. I'm not going to have it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I'm stinky. God forbid you get a little giggle.

[Nick Mullen]

So.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that whole trip was. So you go shopping. We went to Tokyo. So you and Dasha could wear little outfits and pieces.

[Adam Friedland]

To be fair, she needed clothes. I think. I think.

[Stavros Halkias]

When did Japan say you could spend $20,000 on your girlfriend?

[Nick Mullen]

I think for the Yen was phenomenal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Once a week.

[Adam Friedland]

Once a week.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think. Look, there were cool parts of Japan. Don't get me wrong. I had some. We had some great. Right?

[Nick Mullen]

Just talking in Japanese people's ears.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You being rude on the train and them being so mad. You like, hitting. You were hitting Adam with a umbrella in his shins. And every Japanese person was like, looks so disgusted at you.

[Adam Friedland]

They're so easy to upset.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was on.

[Adam Friedland]

I was on the. I was on the escalator and I kind of, like, leaned forward so that my ass was directly in it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. No, they hated that.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And your underwear was a little out.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it's like they could kind of see your ass through your.

[Adam Friedland]

Remember. Remember I got him like, seven times.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Farting in the.

[Adam Friedland]

In the green room.

[Nick Mullen]

Farting in my face.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that was.

[Adam Friedland]

You got him right seven times in a row.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was awesome.

[Nick Mullen]

That was actually, like, on my cheek.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was crazy. That breeder one was like one of the most direct farts in a person's face I've ever seen.

[Nick Mullen]

Why was I so. What was I doing?

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know. But that was the craziest part. Cuz it was like he got you off like, five times in a row. And you were even like, all right, that's not happening again. And like, truly, like Homer with the.

[Adam Friedland]

Chips with the puppies.

[Nick Mullen]

That was the show where I accidentally stood up to racism, but I couldn't understand what the guy was saying. In Melbourne.

[Stavros Halkias]

Remember that?

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. They were like. And I thought they were heckling me like, you're a gay, you're a bug, whatever. If you guys remember, the Melbourne show was like, Comic Con. There was like, fat Hawaiian shirt guys. There were Adidas tracks.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would happen a lot. It was like guys would dress up as one of the three of us.

[Nick Mullen]

All the little eerie guys.

[Adam Friedland]

I kind of think that we sort of just look like Australian people without realizing.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, they were.

[Nick Mullen]

They were guys doing a comic con.

[Stavros Halkias]

They were trying to look like you, the guy. They're guys you try to look like you or me. And then some guys, the little eerie.

[Nick Mullen]

Guys would be like, yeah. So my friends also call me a. So I really identify with the Adam character. Thank you. Thanks. I'm so.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, but yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

In Melbourne, I thought someone was just calling me gay or someone or doing a bit from the show. But. But. And so I was like, shut up. Like, you'll never be on Come Down. And it got a huge applause. And then I went back, crushed. Absolutely. No, no, no, no, no, no. But I went back. But I didn't realize it was.

[Adam Friedland]

I mean, the way just absolutely.

[Stavros Halkias]

They carried me out on their shoulders.

[Nick Mullen]

I went back.

[Stavros Halkias]

We were there.

[Nick Mullen]

I went back to the hotel.

[Stavros Halkias]

And apparently we were next to him for.

[Nick Mullen]

No, no. Apparently they were saying, like, despicable slurs about aboriginals.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting.

[Nick Mullen]

And I just couldn't hear what they were saying, but I was accidentally. Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

I don't even mean to destroy.

[Nick Mullen]

I was trying to say that I didn't actually know I was standing up to racism. I was thinking I was.

[Adam Friedland]

I was the humble hero.

[Nick Mullen]

I hate myself. This is so us. This is so us. What the up? This is so us. This is so us. I miss us. Shut up, Adam. I want to die with you guys. I just want to be in hospital beds holding hands, dying of HIV that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nick gave you as a prank in.

[Nick Mullen]

The wedding in Greenwich Village.

[Adam Friedland]

Hooking the wires up differently in the hospital. The fluids you just hear from behind a curtain.

[Nick Mullen]

What you doing with my fluid tube? Where you putting that?

[Adam Friedland]

I'm playing a prank on Adam. Okay.

[Nick Mullen]

What you doing with tattoo?

[Adam Friedland]

Adam's like, my Arm feels cold. There's something cold creeping up my arm.

[Stavros Halkias]

That will be nice, man. Someday we'll get there after the Vegas residency. We'll all be in. We'll all be in a hotel hospital bed together.

[Adam Friedland]

I just learned that hospice isn't a place. I thought it was a couple. It's a place you go to and they just, like, suck you off and give you cigarettes.

[Stavros Halkias]

They suck your dick.

[Adam Friedland]

They do whatever you want.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dude, that's pretty sick. They should do that. They should suck your.

[Adam Friedland]

Hospice isn't like.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh.

[Adam Friedland]

Like, they're not like doctors. They come and they're like, yeah, I'll read you Garfield comics. Or, you're dying.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You're just dying. Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

So it'll make you as comfortable as possible. I'm pretty sure they. They service you.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would be awesome. They should give happy endings in hospice.

[Adam Friedland]

I might be confusing hospice care in that episode of Deadwood when the priest is dying.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

He does go crazy. He had like a brain tumor or something.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they wouldn't even let he. All he wanted to do is listen to music and they're like, well, he wouldn't be at the whorehouse.

[Adam Friedland]

He wouldn't remember.

[Stavros Halkias]

They kicked him out of the whorehouse. So up.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, well, swear just kills him, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, but they. But he just wanted to. He was like, clapping and listen to music and they're like, look. It's a bad look for me to have a priest in here, which is like, you're a whorehouse.

[Adam Friedland]

Let the man die.

[Stavros Halkias]

So up. March Madness is here, folks. And you know what that means. High stakes hoops, buzzer beaters, unpredictable stuff. Everyone's bracket turning to dog before their very eyes. It's a time of excitement, unpredictability. A time where legends are forged. Basically, it's a time to wear Chubbies. Pretty fucking good segue, huh? Yeah. Chubbies. That's that good shit, baby. I've been a Chubbies fan since I was a junior in college. That's not. That's no bullshit. I love their swim trunks. I found them originally because I like to expose my thighs, all right? Very few brands have shorts for a fat man where he can show off a little skin. Chubby's was ahead of the market on that. They're in. They were on the bleeding edge of fat guy thighs being exposed. And it's not just their short shorts. They're swim trunks. They got little polos, elastic shit, you know what I mean? Stretch stuff. Hawaii. I got some nice Hawaiians I've purchased in the past. I love chubbies. They look good, they got their performance, they're stylish. You go for a little stroll, you go on the beach, you want to just look good, whatever it is in lounge, you want to watch, you know, games on your couch all day. Chubby's is good for that too. I truly love this brand from the bottom of my heart. It has been something that stuck with me. I tried to do an online to be like the Chubby's guy of the year in 20, like in 2012. For real. Like when I was still in. When I was living at UMBC, maybe 2010. Anyway, go find that chubbies. Expose me. Actually, don't. It's gonna really depress me. How I weighed 100 pounds less than I do now and was still considered fat. That's neither here nor there, folks. The point is, go get some chubbies. Whether you're getting dressed for your workday, a workout, or a weekend getaway, there's a Chubbies for that. For a limited time, Chubby's is giving our viewers 20% off your order with our code STAVI, S, T A V Y@chubby shorts.com. that's code S T A V V Y. [e-mail] support our show and tell them we sent you. Be your own Cinderella story with chubbies. Well, I think it's time we fucking give knowledge to people, guys. I mean, you know.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, I forgot the calls.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's call ins.

[Adam Friedland]

Oh, right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, we have to give advice.

[Adam Friedland]

I thought we were going read.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're three of the smartest men of all time. No, no, we will do something similar to a read soon. But elders, play us a little call and then let's see what we got here. Adam is much smarter now.

[Nick Mullen]

Me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, dude, you've been training to be a interviewer. So you have. You have, you know, incredible skills. Play us. Play us some. Play us some calls here. Big LD.

[Caller]

Stop. This is RD. Big fan of the podcast. I got divorced about 10 years back, okay. And really screwed me up. I haven't really been in the dating game until just the last year or so. Taking some time to work on myself and whatnot. But I've discovered that I am basically a virgin again. And I am a one, one pump chump. Had a couple hookups and it's been like really embarrassing. Just as soon as that, my dick hits, it's like it's done. So, you know, I try to get the girl, you know, Right. But it's like causing me some performance anxiety now and I've had a couple of chances to get laid and like, you know, I'm just so nervous about it that shit doesn't work.

[Nick Mullen]

He's a good guy.

[Caller]

Wonder if you have any input on kind of how to get over this and you know what, what next steps to take.

[Nick Mullen]

Er.

[Caller]

Appreciate the advice. Love the podcast.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Nick Mullen]

Eat her first. Easy done. Next.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, that's not completion.

[Nick Mullen]

Then you. It doesn't matter if you bust too quick. She's already comed.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, this is, this is a shame that this isn't a read. He's coming up. Well, just in case, let's, let's, you.

[Adam Friedland]

Know, are there any questions about like, what color yeti thermos should I go.

[Stavros Halkias]

There might be who knows what elder.

[Adam Friedland]

Because the answer is king crack crab orange.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. All right. That sounds cool.

[Adam Friedland]

So that's my advice. Maybe see if you can find any.

[Stavros Halkias]

King crab, get a nice thermos, get your mind off how quick you bust eater for a while. Is true. Adam for sure. But also like, this is one of the most classic dick pill solutions I've ever heard.

[Nick Mullen]

But dick pills, you still cut. It doesn't keep you long.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you bust. You get the first one. You can go again porn style. Porn style, absolutely.

[Adam Friedland]

Or you can put your face. That was just the fingers in your ass in your own ass and then put them in your nose so you just. Everywhere she smells like and she was just disgusted by this woman.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then you can't calm well, but he's busting fast or not getting hard. That's a tough combo. Cuz you don't want to smell like. And your dick is soft. Pretty cool.

[Adam Friedland]

If you can bust soft it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is cool. And I have busted like so close like 50.

[Adam Friedland]

Saw a man standing there and he busted soft. I'd feel like I was at like a tool concert. Yeah, I mean that would be like the visuals.

[Stavros Halkias]

You'd be like, whoa, trippy. Yeah, that would be awesome. Awesome. You just see it changing his face.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, just Michelangelo's Vitruvian man. And. And he's just leaking, but then it turns into like an alien.

[Stavros Halkias]

The jizz kind of becomes silver.

[Adam Friedland]

Then I turn up and Lewis is to the right of me. That's smart.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's moved to tears. And how beautiful, beautiful the symbolism is.

[Adam Friedland]

Share this with James. James will like this.

[Nick Mullen]

But seriously, if the girl's already busted from you eating her, maybe it'll relax you a bit because you feel like you made her come for sure. Try that out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Definitely. Yes. But all, like, you are the guy dick pills are made for. Except for really old guys. You're. You know, you're fresh off of divorce.

[Nick Mullen]

We've been taking them since we're 21 years old, dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

On and off, not 21.

[Adam Friedland]

I was taking them every day for 16. No, they're good for that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really?

[Adam Friedland]

They lower your blood pressure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

The Cialis ones do. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Adam Friedland]

You take this, like, take a half of one of those. Is it Bluetooth you're with, or do you have.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who are we with?

[Adam Friedland]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Reese. Most recently.

[Nick Mullen]

I think Bluechew might be most recent.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Nick Mullen]

We've had a couple.

[Stavros Halkias]

We'll just put it up. We'll just. If it's a different one, we'll just.

[Adam Friedland]

Put it different from our.

[Nick Mullen]

Our first.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hey, we're. We're. You know, we. We. The products.

[Adam Friedland]

They got mad at us because I said that the Hamas guys were using it on October.

[Nick Mullen]

No, no, it was. No, no, no, no, no, no. This was amazing. They're like, blue wants you to pull it out. And Nick's like, we. They have been advertising with us for eight years. I have a great relationship. And they were like, well, let's talk to the. They wanted us to talk to someone that was like, the ad buyer. He's like, I want to talk to the company. We talked to their head. Head of, like, advertising promotion or something. And they were like, yeah, man. Like, you. You can't say that Hamas took it before they flew Mario Karts into the music festival. He's like, you guys have been great.

[Adam Friedland]

Partners, but, yes, I can. And I did.

[Nick Mullen]

Nick was, like, so fired up.

[Adam Friedland]

I can say that. I did say that, and it's probably what happened now. Where is my $200? I would like my $200.

[Nick Mullen]

The amount of times we should have crossed the line. And then that.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know, it is funny. I mean, the funniest one of all time was Thursday Boots. Thursday Boots.

[Adam Friedland]

Their offices. Their office is right across the street.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh, they're huge.

[Adam Friedland]

So I walked past the sign. I'll go up there, say hi for old times.

[Stavros Halkias]

Remember. Remember that?

[Nick Mullen]

We got dropped.

[Stavros Halkias]

So, yeah, get your dick hard with pills. You're doing good. The fact that you got women to want to fuck you is good. And, yeah, you're just starting over, brother. I remember this phase of my life when you're in your 20s and you're getting pussy for the first time, you're just redoing it. Take some cock pills. Use promo code. Stavi on Whatever you end up buying.

[Adam Friedland]

Just worry about more important things. Elon Musk is destroying.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, that's right. Stop talking about yourself, sir.

[Adam Friedland]

Who gives a fuck about pussy right now when some. A bunch of 19 year old Indians are turning the post office into an anime convent.

[Nick Mullen]

Groceries.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now chicks with fat tits dressed like Bulma are gonna send you mail in little caps, little Dragon ball Z capsules. Which actually sounds pretty cool.

[Nick Mullen]

Also, can we.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would like to a. Bulma.

[Adam Friedland]

I'm gonna be so pissed if all of this stuff ends up being good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, it won't be.

[Adam Friedland]

But yeah, but if it does, it won't be.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yes, I agree. I'm gonna be mad Elon is such a gay loser.

[Nick Mullen]

Also like girls should think the lying.

[Stavros Halkias]

About playing video games. Games that is.

[Nick Mullen]

Dude, he said he's the best Diablo player in the world.

[Adam Friedland]

Why would you aspire to.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then he was on. He was on like Stream and he. And everyone was like, this guy sucks at this game. Yeah. And he just hired.

[Nick Mullen]

He said he was the best.

[Adam Friedland]

I like, I've been replaying Metroid prime and I'm like, I missed. I could have killed myself years ago.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

And I'm like, this is so humiliating. And I'm like, I gotta get 100.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Gotta get all the missile. It's a 22 year old video game. But I gotta. There's no way I'm not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you see. Do you get. When you 100. Do you see her in a bikini?

[Adam Friedland]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Isn't there a part where you can see her in a bikini at the.

[Adam Friedland]

End of Super Metroid but not Metroid Prime?

[Stavros Halkias]

I would love to. Samus if she was a real person.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah. Really? Honestly, any woman?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, any woman.

[Adam Friedland]

Any woman. If she was real. Well, because Samus is like Samus Lisa Simpson.

[Stavros Halkias]

From spongebob Sandy, maybe.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, I would love. Yeah, just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, is she squirrel size Poke, you're killing me. Oh, can I go next?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Patrick, you look soft.

[Adam Friedland]

Because you'd be much bigger than all of them, right? You know they're tight.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's a. Yeah. Patrick should go first and then you.

[Adam Friedland]

Just clean your leg up with spongebob.

[Stavros Halkias]

Get your gist away from me.

[Adam Friedland]

You fucked my friends to death and.

[Stavros Halkias]

You'Re using me as a comrade.

[Adam Friedland]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I just really like cartoons. I'm 40 years old and I just really like cartoons. I don't know what to tell you, SpongeBob.

[Nick Mullen]

I've always wanted to try this.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right. Yeah, Good luck, buddy.

[Nick Mullen]

RD also just tell the girl she's so sexy. You busted.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, whatever. You're fine, bro.

[Nick Mullen]

Your's so perfect. I busted it fast.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nick Mullen]

That's cuz you're so. Hey, Elvis.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah?

[Stavros Halkias]

The Google translate can't either their names.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, next question here. Eldis. Oh, oh. What's going on? Oh, dude. Guys, it's time for the mother. Something crazy is happening.

[Nick Mullen]

This is a segment.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh my God. It's time to keep it motherfucking twisted with the twisted ass. Motherfucking ass question of the week.

[Nick Mullen]

I'll have one of those.

[Stavros Halkias]

You want a twisted tea? Yeah, play the thing and get. Get our friend Adam an ice cold twisted tea. Which by the way is brewed with real iced tea. I don't know if you guys know that and it's the perfect, perfect drink on a game day or just how does it work?

[Adam Friedland]

Does the tea itself make tea?

[Stavros Halkias]

Play the call, you prick.

[Adam Friedland]

We can read it. I'll do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, no. It's.

[Adam Friedland]

Fan of the podcast.

[Stavros Halkias]

How does what. Hold on. How does what work?

[Adam Friedland]

How do you like. Does the tea ferment or alcohol? What do you mean? I'm asking a question.

[Nick Mullen]

You're asking about the fermentation of a twist.

[Adam Friedland]

They just said it's made with real tea, so I'm asking.

[Stavros Halkias]

Brewed with real. Ice cold. Ice cold. This is why.

[Adam Friedland]

Why? This is why sponsors drop off all the time, Adam. Because I'm feigning interest in their process that they brought up very fakely by the way, to help the read.

[Stavros Halkias]

See, Nick, we don't have to worry about all that science mumbo jumbo. All we have to know is that it's delicious and that we have a twisted ass question of the week. Let's see what we got. Holy. That was twisted forever.

[Adam Friedland]

We.

[Stavros Halkias]

We'll just maybe over whatever Adam said. It doesn't really matter. Matter. Go ahead, elders, keep it twisted. Exactly. Just keep editing over Adam and. And let's play the twisted ass ass question of the week. You can't be showing other. You'll get it back.

[Caller]

Okay, so here's my question. A few months ago I moved.

[Nick Mullen]

Who's this? Your boyfriend?

[Caller]

And the same day I moved into. There's a really hot woman. Hey Elvis, huge fan of the podcast asked. So here's my question.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caller]

A few months ago I moved to a new city. And the same day I moved into this apartment, there's a really hot woman moved in literally right in front of me. Initially I told myself I would just ignore her. Because I think it's kind of comp. It kind of complicates things to date your.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's why. That's the reason. The hottest woman I've ever seen.

[Adam Friedland]

This is James Comey.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Adam Friedland]

Like a James Comey. Like, Like. Oh, well, I'm doing the principal. No, you're a coward. And that's what makes cowards dangerous is 99% of the time, they do the right thing because they're too much of a pussy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right. And let's see how. Let's see if this guy keeps it twisted or if he stays a coward.

[Caller]

Same person in your building never left. Somebody, like, live directly in front of you?

[Adam Friedland]

Sure, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You would have Fox, right? Like, across the hall, probably.

[Caller]

But, you know, since then, we've been talking in the elevator, and I found out that we actually have a lot in common. He really is my type of woman. And, like, I would be out shooting my shot if not for her being my neighbor talking. And the thing is, I'm pretty sure she likes me, too.

[Stavros Halkias]

I feel like.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, like, all of your new fans now are just the guy from that movie that wanted.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which. Which.

[Adam Friedland]

In the beginning of the movie, when he's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh. Where he's getting, like, bullied by Chris.

[Adam Friedland]

Very much like. Yeah, like 90s office worker.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Hey, let's see what he's got.

[Adam Friedland]

Or like, a guy from office space.

[Stavros Halkias]

Before the hypnosis.

[Adam Friedland]

Before the hypnosis. Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And, dude, this show is hypnosis. It's making them cool. That's the whole.

[Adam Friedland]

Have you ever done that?

[Stavros Halkias]

I've never done hypnosis because they do.

[Adam Friedland]

It for, like, eating and stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

That'd be sick, actually, dude, if someone could hypnotize.

[Adam Friedland]

What if it backfired?

[Stavros Halkias]

I eat more.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, you just, like, you take over a Cinnabon with a gun.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm in a fugue state. I'm like, give me pastries. Let's finish this guy's call. We could talk about that fanciful scenario later, neighbor.

[Adam Friedland]

What did he just say?

[Caller]

I'm pretty.

[Nick Mullen]

I want to hear this pathetic loser being my neighbor.

[Adam Friedland]

Neighbor.

[Caller]

I'm pretty sure she likes me, too. Just because her. The way she. She interacts with me. She's excited to see me. She asked for my number.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caller]

And she's even, like. She even asked it. Like, one time my sister came to visit, and she was asking me who this woman was. Oh.

[Stavros Halkias]

She was jealous. She wanted that prick.

[Caller]

And so I'm like, okay, I think she likes me too. The problem is, I still have like six months on this lease. And I. I think it's a really bad idea to like where you eat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on.

[Adam Friedland]

Don't, don't.

[Caller]

Anyways, thank you for taking my call and God bless Albania.

[Stavros Halkias]

God bless Albania. The problem is now we know why this guy's a loser. Hold on. You guys are right. This guy's a loser. He just said God bless Albania.

[Nick Mullen]

Why Dua Lipa is from there, but.

[Stavros Halkias]

Everybody'S got, you know, one hot ass woman in their country.

[Adam Friedland]

Oh, the gal Gadot of Hitler at his biscuit guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that is so true.

[Nick Mullen]

This guy is a. Is a loser and I hate him. Just. She asked for your number. Just have.

[Stavros Halkias]

You got to keep it twisted, man. Right? That's an important.

[Nick Mullen]

Keep it twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

Twisted.

[Adam Friedland]

And fuck this lady angry.

[Stavros Halkias]

What?

[Adam Friedland]

These quests. Because it seems like all of them are like, yeah, I want to get pussy, but I don't really.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I mean, this guy in particular, it's like, who are you kidding, bro? You're. Oh, your sacred apartment. This woman's hot as. She's made enough small talk with you.

[Nick Mullen]

He only has six months left on this lease.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the other thing. Six months. How bad could it go in six months?

[Nick Mullen]

Idiot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, just get pussy. Keep it twisted. And this lady, keep it twisted. I mean, you're really not keeping it twisted. You're betraying the ideals of a twisted tea drinker. Twisted tea is about keeping it twisted. Having a good time?

[Nick Mullen]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you got six months on the list. Police. Whatever, man. Have sex with this lady. Don't be a coward.

[Nick Mullen]

So she showed me her and I'm not sure if that means.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, one way or another.

[Nick Mullen]

Open like this, like with her two fingers. But I don't know what that means because my. She saw my sister one time. What are you talking about, you idiot?

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, he was saying that the sister she was at. He's. He's insinuating that the girl is jealous. Or this guy could be the woman was literally.

[Nick Mullen]

It could be the joker one. Like, he could be just fantasy.

[Stavros Halkias]

He could be fan. And yeah, he's very. And if you are the joker, don't keep it twisted. Don't kidnap this woman. Don't show up in her apartment.

[Adam Friedland]

It depends on which joker, you know, if it's the Jack Nicholson Joker, I'd.

[Stavros Halkias]

Say go for it, but he's not charming enough to be the Jack Nicholson Joker.

[Adam Friedland]

You don't know that. This guy, he could look like him. Maybe that's it. Maybe.

[Stavros Halkias]

Look.

[Adam Friedland]

Oh, my God. Is that Jack Nicholson?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, this guy's definitely Joaquin Joker. Not even close. Because he's not even cool enough to be the weird Heath Ledger. No, Heath Ledger's the man. But the. Who's the 32nd Jared Leto? He's not even, like, sexy enough to be the weird Jared Leto.

[Adam Friedland]

30 seconds to bust.

[Stavros Halkias]

30 seconds to bust.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, you know what he could do? Get her evicted.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, smart. And then sexually twist. That would be keeping it pretty twisted. That would be the ultimate twisted move. So you got a couple options, pal. And look, whatever you do, take this.

[Nick Mullen]

Gal, call 911 on her.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, don't. Yeah, take her out for a nice, refreshing twisted tea brewed with real iced tea.

[Nick Mullen]

Leave her gas on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't do that, pal.

[Adam Friedland]

Actually leave a twelver with a big old suitcase twisted outside of her apartment. Write a little note on the top.

[Stavros Halkias]

That says, keep it twisted. No, don't do that. That doesn't really follow the ideals of the Twisted Tea Corporation.

[Adam Friedland]

Twisted? I thought that was the.

[Stavros Halkias]

You got to keep it a little. You got to keep it a little twisted. Twist that up like my dick in your ass and it's twisted. Still too twisted.

[Nick Mullen]

Keep it twisted. Just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just get her. How about this? Just share a nice twisted tea with her and her. That's twisted enough.

[Nick Mullen]

No, no, don't do anything.

[Adam Friedland]

I'll start guys instead.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, yeah, okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's right. I don't know why that would work off her, but, yeah, you can try it.

[Adam Friedland]

This is your last chance.

[Nick Mullen]

Nick says leave a note. I say call the police.

[Stavros Halkias]

Say she's going to keep it twisted. Don't do that either.

[Nick Mullen]

Says what?

[Stavros Halkias]

Share a twisted teeth with her. El is making notes of what to bleep out now. I say get a nice high school twisted te with her. Don't forget, keep it twisted. All right.

[Nick Mullen]

Wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that was you. Yeah, that's me.

[Adam Friedland]

Have you ever seen the clip of that McLovin guy doing. Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Damn, son. Where'd you find this fake. It's fake. I just rewatched that movie. So funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Superman.

[Nick Mullen]

So classic Irish soul singer.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so we helped that guy out. He was kind of a coward. That wasn't that good of a twisted question. You kind of up there. But what else we got, man?

[Adam Friedland]

We got the eldest guest.

[Caller]

Eldest guest. First time, long time. You know the drill. I'm gonna get right to it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you.

[Caller]

I have a similar question to one that was asked on the similar episode. Okay. It was about the guy. He was a Greek guy. He owned his family. Business or managed his family business. He wanted to know how to his employees and our customers that came through.

[Stavros Halkias]

I remember that guy. I'm not stupid enough sit here and say pause this. On that episode, Sagalo was insisting it's not wrong to your employees. He was like, well, this isn't the entertainment industry. What's the point of being.

[Adam Friedland]

Also, it is the entertainment industry.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, he meant like. He meant like if you own a diner, you should be able to your waitress.

[Nick Mullen]

I mean, listen guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

He called it Brandon.

[Nick Mullen]

Brendan. You said Brandon. You did.

[Stavros Halkias]

You definitely said.

[Nick Mullen]

No, I didn't say that. It's.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's tape. It's recorded, so we'll know. But go ahead, Elvis. Let's finish this, guys.

[Nick Mullen]

How do you. Your employees.

[Caller]

I'm not stupid enough sit here and say, hey st. Give me permission to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dangle a raise above these heads.

[Nick Mullen]

Give me permission.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's what they're. I'm not that stupid.

[Caller]

I know employees would be messy. I don't even have any employees. But I do want advice on the other half. I little context. I'm 26 years old. I just got out of a two year relationship. I manage a. A lodge in the national park. Pretty big national park that is frequented by hundreds of thousands of people each year. Our high season is coming up and I'm just looking.

[Nick Mullen]

How do I.

[Caller]

How do I clean up on these.

[Stavros Halkias]

Women that come through here? Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

I changed. Doge is a good idea.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is like we don't need national parks anymore.

[Adam Friedland]

This guy shouldn't stop being paid by the Department of the Interior. I don't think.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

So if you are a philosopher king. Yeah. These people want your permission. That's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's what I'm here for, man.

[Nick Mullen]

That's so cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Dude. You, you. The interview Neil Degrasse Tyson. And now I do philosophy. We've split off into our true passions.

[Nick Mullen]

I. I made him kiss me. I sexually assaulted Deal Degr.

[Stavros Halkias]

How does he a little bit taste of his own medicine?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah. After what he did, he really is like a giant nerd. After it ended, he was like trying to do wrestling moves moves on like on me. He like picked me up. I'm like the are you doing?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's all. It's so funny because he's another guy that'll come up on like YouTube shorts. And half of the time he's. He's being. Anthony Kumia is edited out of it. He was like a mainstay on the Kumia show. Yeah. On the. That first year that Kumia like Hadn't like it was weird because it was his. Everyone knew what Kumi was about. Like he had gotten disgraced for.

[Adam Friedland]

No, even, even on. I mean his. Like then maybe he was on. But the very next guest would be that fucking like Irish guy that wrote that. Those books about like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh yeah, black crime. Well, Gavin McGinnis.

[Adam Friedland]

No, no, there's another guy. His. His name was like Colin, I don't know, MC30 or something. That was his name. He was wearing a little newsy cap.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Did you know that 10 white girls.

[Stavros Halkias]

Got beat up by blacks last year? Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

It's like, no, I didn't know that. And it's like, that's because you're not doing the research. Yeah, I just don't care.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it was so funny because he was a huge kumia guy.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He would be on kumia all the time. It's very fascinating. Go ahead, let's. So this guy's trying to fuck people. Let's finish this call.

[Caller]

I just got out of that long term relationship. Like I said.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh my God.

[Caller]

My second one that I've had. First one was a five year one.

[Nick Mullen]

Good to know.

[Caller]

I haven't been single that long. I had some years in college where I cleaned up pretty good, but.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caller]

I. Yeah, I'm looking on advice how to. How to clean up with these women around here. We have a bar that's attached to our lives.

[Stavros Halkias]

I bought it.

[Caller]

Four nights.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, he's a bartender.

[Caller]

We are so remote. We're an hour away.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not better.

[Adam Friedland]

If they called the police, this guy might be Jackson.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thanks for the advice. Here's my penis.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, this is a creepy question.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, dude. I mean like, how do I make the.

[Nick Mullen]

So remote as a detail is crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like it's always sunny. The implication.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're so remote. How do I get a remote? A couple drinks, get him back to my room. We're so remote.

[Adam Friedland]

Women really like, you should cover yourself in honey and go outside the lodge, go out into the woods and wait for the women to come.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I actually read an article that horny women love when a guy's covered in honey your pockets and smoke salmon. Look, bro, you. If. If something happens and a woman takes the initiative, but this is still weird and wrong to be like, you have a boss also. Yeah. Like they don't want you to try. And the customers at this remote lodge, if you're. If you're bartending, you hit it off with somebody. That's. That's like, you know, camping or whatever the. And they wanna. And they kind of make it clear they want to you. You have to completely take somebody else's lead. You don't want, you know. Yeah. You don't want somebody, you know know tweeting at the 19 year olds that Elon has to be like this guy tried to. Actually if you said this guy tried to me, they might give you a raise.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, they. But they burn down yellow stone.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. They're like. They're like, oh, we can make so much money if we chop down this forest and sell the wood. This is another government inefficiency, you know, like. But yeah, you don't want. You don't want to get fired for trying to everyone who comes through your weird little lodge. But bro, just. You took. It's your fault. You took a job in a remote place. You can't be trying to the women that just want to see nature. But you might. I mean, I don't know. Some of these girls might be on vacation. They might want to.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, I guess it does seem like the women that would go there on their own would be those like weird smelly like home birth ladies.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. If you catch them before they. They're in home birth when they're like young. Yeah. They're on their way to becoming those women.

[Adam Friedland]

Just very long breath breasts.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Not fat, but have fat.

[Adam Friedland]

They call their yoni very vascular forearms. Kind of naughty women.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes, yes. Absolutely.

[Adam Friedland]

Strong joints.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You might be able to some of them, but you can't. How do you. How do you make this your go to. You can't. You just have to put the vibe out. You can't be weird and creepy because the second they sense like, oh, this guy got this job to try and us in this remote corner of Idaho or wherever the.

[Nick Mullen]

But stop. Don't forget he had years in college where he cleaned up pretty good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

That's a great piece of evidence.

[Stavros Halkias]

And if you want to get. You shouldn't be the bartender at a remote cabin. Like if you want to get go to a major city, be the bartender there. You know what I mean?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah. Take their time there to like take a taxidermy course and come. Come back to Brooklyn with those skills.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right? Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Then you can clean up clean financially.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Make them little what, raccoon pelts?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, yeah, something like that.

[Nick Mullen]

So far the first guy is a great guy. And these last two I hate.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, next Eldis. There's not much. That one was. There wasn't much there but don't. Yeah, don't be a creep at the bar. Although if you work at a cool national park that we're going to be around. Although it's April, we probably missed them. I'm trying to go hiking on this tour.

[Caller]

Hey, St. Hey, Eldis. Big fan of the pod. I'm on the Patreon.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you, brother.

[Caller]

Stand up for years, yada yada, yada. Hello, esteemed guest. All that stuff. I'm gonna try to get to the point as you like to keep it. I am an aspiring creative. My whole life I've really been into performing artsy, all that stuff. I just kind of always had an inkling to do that. I'm now 25 years old. I think think, you know, I'm holding down a decent job, I've got a good place with a couple of friends, I'm in a relationship, all that stuff. But yet for some reason I'm still depressed as shit and I can't get any of my personal projects done. I had to deal with like some really bad grief early on in life. Was born with a myriad of mental health issues.

[Stavros Halkias]

None of us know what that's like an upward battle.

[Caller]

But I guess I was just wondering if you had any advice for when you're just kind of a fat, depressed, unmotivated piece of shit. Like, I just. I have so many ideas, like projects that I want to work on, but I just. With everything else that's going on in life, you can't to find the gumption and the time and the energy to do that while also maintaining like, like, you know, an adult life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, there's your problem.

[Caller]

I just appreciate. I know you had any advice for me. Appreciate you. Love you. All that stuff. Bye. Bye.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I mean, you could start a podcast that actually become successful by accident.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, you could be.

[Stavros Halkias]

That actually works for. That works for all of us. I mean, at the end of the day, dude, I hate to give you some tough love here.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah. You just got to.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have to pick one thing and do.

[Adam Friedland]

Just fucking do the thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ideas mean nothing.

[Nick Mullen]

And also you're never.

[Stavros Halkias]

Everyone has fucking ideas. Yeah, you're probably not gonna be as happy as you want to be, but you will be happier if you're working on something and you have to do something that the flow of the work makes you fulfilled, even if it never works out. Right. Like when I was, you know, whatever before I moved to New York and I was just doing open mics. I just love the process of working out a new bit of like doing it, it's like even if I had come and when I moved to New York, I was like, even if I flame out, I'll always do standup because I like doing it. Like, it does something for me. Right. You got to find something like that and not think about making it. Just think like in term, not think about being successful. You just have to work on something.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's really all there is to it.

[Nick Mullen]

And don't expect it to make you happy. Just expect to just keep working.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And in many ways you have. I mean, you have. It's. If you have an adult life where you have, you know, some friends, a girlfriend. Like I don't have, you know, I don't have a fulfilling.

[Adam Friedland]

Get a job at Yosemite.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you can.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

You become a bartender.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you want to get out?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cuz there's a way out and then.

[Adam Friedland]

There'S a guy there. I think you might be a lot happier if you.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

And I hear there's a bartender at Yosemite that called you a pretty big loser.

[Stavros Halkias]

We don't even know that it's Yosemite. He just, he got his guy does listen to you and he kills. Just bartender.

[Adam Friedland]

I'm like, hey, Ian, I got a ticket to Yosemite. I have this extra. I heard there's a lot of gay guys that are attracted to bartenders, so I got you a shirt that says I'm the bartender. And the ticket is you leave today and you come back. Well, there's no return ticket.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we're shooting a prank show. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I've hidden cameras rigged up everywhere. You just have to be the bartender at Yosemite. Killy.

[Adam Friedland]

Killy in finance.

[Nick Mullen]

You'll feel a lot better. You.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you. You might, man.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dude, who gives a. Just you got to start.

[Nick Mullen]

And also at the age you're at, that's normal to feel that way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Adam Friedland]

A lot of guys don't even figure out that they want to be a talk show host until they're 42 years old.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

A lot of people, like, don't try for the first time in their life until they. You're 35 years old.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, again, 38.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, I started trying at 35.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, not really.

[Nick Mullen]

Changed everything.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not really.

[Adam Friedland]

How old are you now?

[Nick Mullen]

37.

[Adam Friedland]

No, no, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wasn't 35.

[Nick Mullen]

What do you now you're the. No, you can't erase my. My age.

[Adam Friedland]

Nah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Started trying at 36. Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

So 38 to be safe.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm not 38, actually. Is this out of neighborhood April?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm 38 years old.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Dude, honestly, it sucks to hear, but you just have to do stuff.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, just do stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're gonna be bad at it at first, but it doesn't matter. Just keep making things. We've all been depressed. I have definitely been an am Fat. Nick was fat. Adam never was fat.

[Nick Mullen]

I've had issues with bulimia, anorexia nervosa.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, he can't stop gagging and throwing up on the. That's not believable.

[Stavros Halkias]

He has a shallow throat, so he's never held down twice a day for his whole life. Gags on even the smallest inherited trauma from the Holocaust.

[Nick Mullen]

Okay, so we all have problems.

[Stavros Halkias]

Adam's really persevered, but yeah, everyone at the end of the day, dude, there's so many people who are depressed and think of themselves as cruel creatives. You're not until you do something. We hate to give you the tough love, but that is just true. You just gotta do stuff.

[Adam Friedland]

Also, like, being something doesn't add anything to your life.

[Nick Mullen]

Right.

[Adam Friedland]

It's like doing that. A lot of people don't realize that. I mean, they don't make the distinction of doing and being in there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[Adam Friedland]

So they're like, oh, I want to be a writer. It's like, well, you have a laptop.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, just do it. Exactly. Yeah. Don't be attracted to it because of whatever you have imagined is the prestige of being considered something. Just do the thing. Whatever. You pick one project, start working, brother, and that will be your salvation. And. But also, it might. You still might be depressed. Be all. Be. Be ready for that. It's.

[Nick Mullen]

And it's not going to make you happy. What it's going to do is you're going to just get better at something.

[Stavros Halkias]

But if. I mean, it does help a little bit.

[Nick Mullen]

It helps to be occupied, but it also helps driven.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think it helps to see yourself make progress in something too. You know what I mean? All right, what else we got? Little elders with a little last nuts.

[E]

Hi, folks. I would do the whole intro, but I was gonna make it short, and now I'm not making it short. Anyways, love you guys so much. So my question is, so recently back on the dating scene, enjoying myself.

[Stavros Halkias]

Enjoying yourself.

[E]

It's been great. Like, been meeting a lot of great guys, having a lot of fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is a cool chick.

[E]

Kind of a sensitive question, I guess. I don't really know how to phrase racist. So obviously we kind of know about the concept of, like schooners.

[Stavros Halkias]

And guys shout out, no, not Arsenal. Guys beating they dick schooners and guys that just been.

[Nick Mullen]

What is it?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. What's a schooner jerky?

[Adam Friedland]

Is it different from edging?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, it's just guys who beat off all the time.

[Adam Friedland]

Okay, but it's like.

[Nick Mullen]

It's like beating off obsessively or something.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, but it's not edging. I thought it was.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, Gooners aren't edging.

[Adam Friedland]

They're.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're busting.

[Adam Friedland]

All right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But they're just beating. It's like guys who just like, are addicted to pornography.

[Nick Mullen]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

So many more young bros are. Yeah. Gay pornography. In Adam's case, gay pornography.

[Adam Friedland]

These guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Mullen]

Jewish, gay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just you. You, basically.

[Nick Mullen]

I don't watch porn anymore.

[Stavros Halkias]

You and the guy. Yeah. You don't?

[Nick Mullen]

No. Doesn't work. It's too contrived.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, why is there a woman in this? This is so unrealistic. This is contrived. Where are the guys should be a.

[Adam Friedland]

Man and throwing up after half of a McDonald's hash brown.

[Nick Mullen]

It doesn't have.

[Stavros Halkias]

Why are. Why aren't they crying after they. Why aren't they crying and calling their fiance and ask them how their day's going after they bust everyone?

[Adam Friedland]

Which is pretty funny, by the way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hilarious, by the way. I'm so funny.

[Nick Mullen]

Come on.

[Adam Friedland]

And then also. And then also, I'm going to keep saying, this is so us.

[Nick Mullen]

This is so us.

[Adam Friedland]

I've been trying to.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm trying to get that working, dated.

[Adam Friedland]

And then at one point I'm gonna say, that's so Samantha. I've been doing my.

[Nick Mullen]

That's so you.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, so Gooners.

[Nick Mullen]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's talking about straight Gooners, not Adam style Gooners. And let's go ahead. Eldis.

[E]

Like, Gooners and guys that just spend way too much time on pornhub and consuming too much, like, porn and the issues kind of resulting from that. Like, maybe, like, I think like somebody called it, like, death grip syndrome. Like, guys are just, like, beating their shit way too hard when they can't actually fuck. So then do my thing. This generation has encountered, like, a fair amount of guys that literally just, like, I'm not complaining, but, like, focus on going down on me. Like, all of these things. Like, everything is focused on me, which is fantastic. But then either don't ask to be reciprocated. Like, they don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

They don't ask.

[E]

Like, I'll say, like, I'll go down to me. Like, no problem. They had. Like, I'm into It and like, oh, no, don't worry about it. Or like, they can't finish or they can't hard. Like, never really had an issue with this, like, previously, but in the last, like, call it couple months, like, I literally just like, not. It hasn't been like repeat offenders, but like, I just, like, I keep seeing it. Not that I'm like sleeping with that many guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pause this so that I can't imagine eating and not, I mean, mean, like, sure, every once in a while you'll just eat and then like, whatever. It's like, oh, I got to go to work. I can't get my dicks. But like, someone asking to suck your dick and you don't even let her do it for a little bit even if you're not going to bust.

[Nick Mullen]

Sounds like a great guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

This guy sounds like a.

[Adam Friedland]

The board did that on time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

That's real. People. They're walking by.

[Nick Mullen]

Elvis, I have stood by you from day one. That one wasn't at you. That was at the thought of not.

[Adam Friedland]

Asking to get your dick sucked.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, this is crazy. Especially when you got a girl chomping at the bit to slurp you up.

[Adam Friedland]

Well, hopefully she's not chomping at the bit. I don't think.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, yeah, maybe you should.

[Adam Friedland]

On everyone's bed.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, don't go, what was that? What was that? What's that Little black ball from Mario?

[Adam Friedland]

Beetlejuice.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, it's called Beetlejuice.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Nick Mullen]

You said little black.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, oh, no, I meant the little black ball from Mario that chomps.

[Adam Friedland]

Oh, it's like chomp omp, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, no, Machomp is a.

[Adam Friedland]

No, it's chomp omp. Chain.

[Stavros Halkias]

Chain chomp. Yeah, don't go chain chomp on the prick. But I don't think she is. I think she wants to slob on it. Finish up, elders.

[E]

Not that I'm like sleeping with that many guys, but, you know, okay, if you are. So that, like, that is just kind of like, what do I like, do I do anything? Do I need to be changing myself? I, like, don't think so. But, like, I don't know, like, I was this guy and like, he. I thought I was having a. Like, we were having a great time and he, like, just kind of stopped and was like, hey, you mind if I just put on porn to finish what I was like? I mean, I'm not gonna say no, but like, I don't know. You're a 25 year old. Like, like, what?

[Nick Mullen]

What?

[Stavros Halkias]

What Is the.

[Nick Mullen]

Around.

[E]

I don't know. Anyways, this is way too long. Love you so much.

[Adam Friedland]

Bye. Hi. This is weird because it's like this, like, this is obviously not anything you can control. There's no advice for this lady that like, that sounds like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Get better at it.

[Adam Friedland]

Sounds like a society problem. So unfortunately, and I would really never suggest this to anybody, but it sounds like you need to move to India.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, might be a good idea.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm sorry, I think that's over correcting me. I think we're going a little too far over theirs.

[Nick Mullen]

Why can't we send over ours?

[Adam Friedland]

I think you might have to move to India and start Indian guys. Because they will do. They will just. I mean, it's going to be 10 on one as soon as you're coming.

[Stavros Halkias]

Off the plane again. I think that's too. I think that's too extreme a solution here.

[Adam Friedland]

As soon as you get off that plane. I mean, you're getting your eaten again. It's just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, true.

[Adam Friedland]

Straight. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, how about this? If you're worried about getting your in too much. An older Italian guy, a guy who thinks he's in the mafia.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who thinks it's gay to eat.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, or black guys.

[Nick Mullen]

I feel I Like we had to work so hard to find titties when we were like 13.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. This is bad.

[Nick Mullen]

This is anytime they want.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is a dark omen for men of this generation.

[Nick Mullen]

I'm sad about the kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

Guys, if you're listening, don't put on porn. When you a girl, figure out. Even if. Listen, fellas, it's their fault.

[Adam Friedland]

Even if you got it on who Framed Roger Rabbit.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, dude, I would. But as soon as Jessica Rabbit. Rabbit comes on screen, I'm like, I've done that.

[Adam Friedland]

I put on Toy Story 3 one time while.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is that the one where they're almost dead? Where they. Yeah, that's the part you come at.

[Nick Mullen]

Plays with Andy for the last.

[Adam Friedland]

I. I actually just stopped and I was like, I want to watch Toy Story 3. And I. I downloaded at the time. So it was in Russian and mirrored.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah. So you had to read the subtitles backwards.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's good.

[Adam Friedland]

And I. Yeah, I just sat there.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're training your brain for what's important.

[Nick Mullen]

You just went your dicks out.

[Adam Friedland]

No, I was hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you wouldn't let her touch it.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, don't touch it. What's going to happen to Buzz?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, look, I feel bad for those. This is a tough one. This also Selfishly, I'm like, nice. The generation after me.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is like they might have disqualified themselves from. You know what I mean? It's like you do. You just need to. You got to be around non Gooners. Gooners. I don't know how you find that. I don't know what's characteristic of a Gooner. I feel like everyone is jacking off too much.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah. It's just. That sounds like when we were 16 or like 15, right?

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like imagine what we would do if we had access to this amount of pornography when we were like younger. It would be bad.

[Nick Mullen]

Probably your brain.

[Stavros Halkias]

So. Yeah. I don't know. I mean try.

[Nick Mullen]

I, I feel like I would usually say like meet people on the apps.

[Adam Friedland]

Use the tools you have available. But in this case it's like maybe the younger generation just like really phone obsessed. Really like used to the gamified dating. It's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Try to people ir.

[Nick Mullen]

I know what you're saying. Yeah. She should fuck a 75 year old man who doesn't know how to use the phone.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean just, just some guy who's horny.

[Nick Mullen]

You should date a 75 year old man.

[Adam Friedland]

You are homeless people. Homeless men without ass guys.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you know, this is a good point of like go outside your normal. Whatever's going on here, your normal dating pool for whatever reason. We're not sure.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're not busting the way they stop people from discord. Yes, exactly. Yeah. That's what's going on. You need to, you need to go a little bit outside. And at the end of the day though, it's not your issue. Dating is, is, is annoying for a number of reasons. It's usually not. Guys won't let me suck their dicks and they have to beat off to porn while we annoying. It's usually like, oh, that was a waste of time. You do have to wade through a lot of people to connect to. So yeah. You just gotta. And then if you catch, here's the thing. If you catch some Gooner energy here, maybe just be like, all right, try figure out a way to filter this out before you. These people probably because they're not what you want. Right. You have to figure out like you know, what, you know, culturally.

[Adam Friedland]

It's the guy wearing an Apple Vision Pro and he's. You can see the pornography as he's talking to you as Starbucks.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah.

[Adam Friedland]

Through the lens. Maybe avoid that guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

But man, what a, what an interesting conundrum for our gal to be. And we're, you know, it's not your fault.

[Nick Mullen]

Don't feel bad.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not your fault. I like these.

[Adam Friedland]

These are fun.

[Nick Mullen]

Dude, she seems like a nice girl.

[Stavros Halkias]

She seems nice. She's trying to suck dick and society won't let her. This is Trump's America. Dude, you got something. What do you think? Something nice to go out on here.

[Adam Friedland]

Eldest sure we can go to.

[Nick Mullen]

Kind of a response to a call from a recent Kush Bros.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, what was the call?

[Adam Friedland]

It was about do guys like getting their nipples placed?

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you mean? I do.

[Nick Mullen]

You do?

[Stavros Halkias]

What are you talking about?

[Nick Mullen]

Sav also believes in titty as a real thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what? That's another annoying thing. You should be able to take pity.

[Nick Mullen]

It's not. It's a fake thing though.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not fake. It's cool if you like tits. It's nice to have tits around your dick.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, but what does it do for the girl?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, it's a take turn situation.

[Nick Mullen]

And maybe some of them like this.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is because at the time you were dating a woman with smaller tits than Nick and you were trying to.

[Adam Friedland]

Pretend you were an smaller tits than me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. At the time.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, I have.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so you were being a picture.

[Nick Mullen]

I remember when I started dating, dating my current girlfriend, you picked me up in the car. I was like, stop, I feel like I'm 13 again. Yeah, I fallen back in love with who?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And that disgusted me. Because you're just a guy with no more nobody. Wherever the wind blows, you pretend is the best.

[Adam Friedland]

No, nobody wants to hear about good things happening to you.

[Nick Mullen]

Yeah, I have cancer also.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were pretending to like tits. On some level I think on some level you like your.

[Adam Friedland]

If you told me you had cancer, I would say, yeah, it's probably one of the good types.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you probably have like skin cancer. You'll be out of it. You'll be like. You have like. I go to dermatologist office. You're there for 45.

[Adam Friedland]

That happened. You remember that happened. He was. There was like a whole week and a half. He was belly aching about how he had skin.

[Nick Mullen]

Oh my God.

[Adam Friedland]

How many times have you had health panics?

[Nick Mullen]

How many times have you had health panics?

[Adam Friedland]

We've all been real. Might have all been real.

[Nick Mullen]

I will say this, I will say.

[Adam Friedland]

I've never had skin cancer. It was like a dried booger on his hand that he had not. He just wouldn't even wipe it off. I wouldn't even try. Can you imagine having a sore? You don't even try scratching.

[Nick Mullen]

I went For a hand booger to the doctor.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, you also were doing your own dental work. That was wild.

[Adam Friedland]

I was doing my.

[Stavros Halkias]

Remember, you were getting those scrapers or whatever.

[Adam Friedland]

I still use those. The kinds I use. The dental hygiene.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's up.

[Nick Mullen]

Dude, I will say hooks.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Using the hooks on yourself is nuts.

[Adam Friedland]

Be. Look, full disclosure. I'm an older man now. I don't mind admitting when I was wrong. Did not work. I suffer from periodontal disease, and I have to get a $400 teeth cleaning every three months.

[Stavros Halkias]

Anyway, let's take.

[Adam Friedland]

Lewis says that too. I've had, like, multiple medical things where, like, you know, I talk about it. And then Lewis reaches out to me. He's like, yeah, dude, I had that, too. I'm like, God damn it. Because they're just bad hygiene.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have skank mouth.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah, no, literally, he's like. He's like, I've been doing, like, coconut pulling. Coconut oil pulling and xylitol gum and stuff. Because you both have gum disease. And then we both have, like, eyelid problems.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Friedland]

Because we'll, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, get, like, you know, up your.

[Adam Friedland]

Ass, like, sticking my fingers in my eye after my.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dude, not me. I've got beautiful health. Let's see what this. Let's see what this question about nipples is.

[Caller]

Hey, savvy, LD and esteemed guest or guest.

[Nick Mullen]

Thank you.

[Caller]

I'm calling in response to the call from the lesbian on the Kush Brothers episode with Pat Berger and JP McDain shouts out two legends February 6th. I think it was recorded in December, so maybe we'll get this one in June. In April, actually, buddy, our friend was asking about if. If men like their nipples played with. And all four of you fine gentlemen responded in the negative. And I. I am one of the few. It's something that I've known myself since I was a teenager. I don't know exactly where it comes from. I like a. A light touch or a lick. Sometimes you can get a little pressure and a pinch, but not too hard.

[Adam Friedland]

You know who this guy reminds me of?

[Stavros Halkias]

Who's that?

[Adam Friedland]

Can you look up the scene from Mars Attacks where they're doing the press conference? One of the reporters asks if the aliens have two do the. More.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, this is who this guy is. Good morning. It's nice to see you all again. I just have a few minutes for questions. What a great movie.

[Adam Friedland]

Let's get started.

[Stavros Halkias]

The Martians have two.

[Nick Mullen]

Well, can we watch that?

[Adam Friedland]

Mars Attacks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we don't have time.

[Nick Mullen]

I have to go to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, let's finish up with his nipples and then we're done. Come back, we'll do a Mars in here.

[Adam Friedland]

He's got percentages.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's see what he's got.

[Caller]

And a pinch, but not too hard. You know, BDSM stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is disgusting hearing him talk about this.

[Caller]

The only way that I've like been able to describe it to other people and obviously I have no actual insight of this is like I have two. Two cliffs on my chest.

[Stavros Halkias]

Two clicks.

[Caller]

It really feels that good? It's something I don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

How do you know what a clip.

[Caller]

Feels to come but 75. 80.

[Adam Friedland]

Yeah. It's like a breakfast.

[Caller]

Probably having my nipples while I'm getting off. So I don't do it on my own. It's only something I do with part.

[Stavros Halkias]

Why did you pick this question?

[Caller]

Yeah, there are people.

[Nick Mullen]

Really tell you.

[Caller]

There are some of us out here. I. I don't know if I've ever met.

[Adam Friedland]

What's the advice?

[Stavros Halkias]

He just called in to let us.

[Nick Mullen]

Know I have two clitori on my chest. Shout out to JP McDade 80 of the time I. How. This guy is disgusting.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, man, congrats. You like your titties played with a little bit Cool.

[Nick Mullen]

Just a little insight to an opposing view.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. You're always. You're a.

[Nick Mullen]

But keeping the discourse.

[Stavros Halkias]

I really hope.

[Adam Friedland]

I hope this guy made the same exact phone call to Washington Journal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, there you have it, folks. You guys are not nipples guys, are you?

[Nick Mullen]

Whatever a girl tells me I don't even like having sex.

[Stavros Halkias]

Adam's gay. Adam's gay.

[Nick Mullen]

You're the gay one.

[Stavros Halkias]

That'll do it, folks. Thanks to Nick Mullen and Adam Freeman Friedland. Watch the Adam Friedland show, boys. Come see us on tour. Nick, Anything to plug here, my friend?

[Adam Friedland]

No, the only thing I have on the calendar is the opening for Shane, I guess, and. I don't know, the middle of the summer.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, look out for that. That'll be fun. And yeah, thanks for. Thanks for listening. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.

[Nick Mullen]

Watch out for the show.