#125 - Mark Normand

Summary

Stavvy's World - Episode #125: Mark Normand Release Date: April 21, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Mark Normand

Stavvy's World Episode #125 features a candid and humorous conversation between host Stavros Halkias and renowned comedian Mark Normand. The duo delves into a variety of topics ranging from personal relationships and fatherhood to societal issues and the quirks of modern technology. This detailed summary captures the essence of their discussions, highlighting key insights and memorable moments.

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1. Introductions and Opening Banter (02:51 - 05:00)

The episode kicks off with Stavros welcoming Mark Normand to the show. Initial exchanges set a light-hearted tone as they reminisce about past experiences and introduce each other to the audience.

• Stavros Halkias [02:51]: "Welcome, Everybody, to Stavvy's World. We have on the couch, new father Mark Normand in the building. How's it feel, bro?"

Mark humorously responds about the dynamics of their friendship and recent events, establishing the comfortable rapport between the two hosts.

---

2. Parenthood and Early Childhood Experiences (05:00 - 12:00)

Mark shares anecdotes from his childhood, particularly focusing on joint birthday celebrations with familial ties and the complexities of sibling relationships.

• Mark Normand [05:00]: "We have our little guy and my nephew got... they could do joint birthday parties, man. They're like a day apart, which is pretty fun."

The conversation evolves into a discussion about racial prejudices encountered during their upbringing, highlighting Mark's early observations of "ironic racism."

• Mark Normand [06:37]: "Cause he's Albanian. Ironic racism."

They explore how societal biases shaped their perceptions from a young age, emphasizing the absurdity of such prejudices.

---

3. Racism and Societal Divisions (12:00 - 20:00)

The hosts delve deeper into the subject of racism, comparing historical conflicts in Europe with present-day divisions. They touch upon the complexities of ethnic tensions and the importance of unity in diverse societies.

• Mark Normand [08:14]: "That's why Europe's fascinating is because they're so. They're racist against each other."

Stavros adds his perspective, drawing parallels with Irish religious divides and the ongoing challenges of overcoming entrenched societal rifts.

• Stavros Halkias [09:01]: "I made a mistake... ruined the whole show because half the crowd was yelling."

The discussion underscores the persistent nature of racism and the difficulties in bridging cultural and ethnic gaps.

---

4. The Modern Parenthood Dilemma (20:00 - 30:00)

Transitioning to parenthood, Stavros and Mark discuss the joys and challenges of raising children. They reflect on sleepless nights, the physical changes post-pregnancy, and the emotional bonds formed with their kids.

• Mark Normand [27:00]: "I'm a little worried about the balance because it's like... all your little lump of shit as it grows over time."

Stavros humorously comments on his experiences, emphasizing the relentless nature of parenting and the adjustments required.

• Stavros Halkias [27:08]: "The hardest part is waking up in the morning... it's like Groundhog Day."

They highlight the transformation in their lifestyles post-parenthood, balancing personal ambitions with family responsibilities.

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5. Technology and Modern Parenting (30:00 - 40:00)

The conversation shifts to the impact of technology on children, particularly focusing on social media exposure and the rise of digital personas from a young age.

• Mark Normand [46:49]: "It's probably pretty soon there's people our age or older who probably have a chip in their head."

They express concerns over children’s interactions with technology, the lack of an internal monologue, and the potential long-term effects of constant digital engagement.

• Stavros Halkias [47:04]: "For sure. It’s probably pretty soon."

The hosts speculate on future technological advancements and their implications for personal identity and societal norms.

---

6. Body Image and Relationship Dynamics (50:00 - 70:00)

Mark and Stavros candidly discuss body image issues, touching upon their personal insecurities and societal expectations of physical appearance. They explore how these pressures affect their relationships and self-perception.

• Mark Normand [50:10]: "I have a joke about it, but it's like, you know, I'm working on a bit now, but I'm just like, I really don't even think even newborns should kill a newborn baby."

They humorously dissect the complexities of body image, sexual satisfaction, and the pressures to maintain certain physical standards in relationships.

• Stavros Halkias [61:49]: "That's a good point."

Their dialogue seamlessly blends humor with sincere reflections on personal growth and societal pressures.

---

7. Dealing with Professional Disappointments (75:00 - 90:00)

Mark provides advice to a caller dealing with a challenging professional situation involving a professor's inappropriate behavior. The discussion emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing non-negotiable aspects of one's personal and professional life.

• Mark Normand [76:03]: "I think you have to just be like, look, I'm not trying to make you feel emasculated."

Stavros echoes the sentiment, encouraging the caller to prioritize her well-being and not sacrifice her personal aspirations for the sake of a problematic relationship.

• Stavros Halkias [78:15]: "Absolutely. All right, well, thank you. Thanks for the calls, Mark. Thanks for being here, buddy."

The hosts offer empathetic solutions while maintaining their trademark humor, providing listeners with relatable and actionable advice.

---

8. Sexual Relationships and Communication (90:00 - 110:00)

The episode delves into sexual relationships, focusing on communication and mutual satisfaction. Mark advises a caller struggling with sexual compatibility, emphasizing the importance of understanding and patience.

• Mark Normand [89:00]: "You just have to somebody a couple times to kind of really get the hang of it."

Their discussion highlights the complexities of sexual relationships and the necessity of open communication to foster intimacy and satisfaction.

• Mark Normand [94:22]: "But also, something he said about Jack... they're nutting off."

The hosts balance humor with genuine advice, making the topic accessible and engaging for listeners.

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9. Closing Thoughts and Upcoming Events (110:00 - 112:10)

As the episode draws to a close, Stavros and Mark share light-hearted banter and plug upcoming events and their personal projects. They maintain the show's energetic vibe, leaving listeners with memorable quotes and anticipation for future episodes.

• Mark Normand [112:08]: "All right, well, thank you. Thanks for the calls, Mark. Thanks for being here, buddy."

Their closing remarks reinforce the camaraderie between the hosts and the supportive atmosphere of Stavvy's World.

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Notable Quotes:

• Mark Normand [05:00]: "We could do joint birthday parties, man. They're like a day apart, which is pretty fun."

• Mark Normand [08:14]: "That's why Europe's fascinating is because they're so. They're racist against each other."

• Mark Normand [27:00]: "I'm a little worried about the balance because it's like... all your little lump of shit as it grows over time."

• Mark Normand [46:49]: "It's probably pretty soon there's people our age or older who probably have a chip in their head."

• Mark Normand [50:10]: "I have a joke about it, but it's like, you know, I'm working on a bit now, but I'm just like, I really don't even think even newborns should kill a newborn baby."

• Mark Normand [76:03]: "I think you have to just be like, look, I'm not trying to make you feel emasculated."

• Mark Normand [89:00]: "You just have to somebody a couple times to kind of really get the hang of it."

---

Conclusion:

Episode #125 of Stavvy's World offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions. Mark Normand's relatable experiences, coupled with Stavros Halkias's engaging hosting, provide listeners with both entertainment and valuable life lessons. From navigating parenthood and societal biases to addressing personal relationships and the impact of technology, this episode encapsulates the essence of modern life challenges with a comedic twist.

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Note: This summary excludes promotional segments and out-of-content advertisements to focus solely on the enriching discussions between the hosts.

Transcript

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[Mark Normand]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Mark Normand]

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[Mark Normand]

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[Mark Normand]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Mark Normand]

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[Stavros Halkias]

To get Cittercity completely free as part of my benefits.

[Mark Normand]

Yours could too. Cidrcity is my go to for a smarter, simpler way to find reliable, trustworthy care. Don't wait. Go to cittercity.com xx and get the help you need. Folks, we have an incredible episode, one of my favorites, Mark Norman coming up right now. But first I want to let you know that I am coming to a city near you. If you live in these Specific towns, Indianapolis, Nashville, Louisville, Charlotte, Raleigh. Still tickets available. Coming this week. We've been on tour for a month and a half, and we just thought to start plugging my dates on my podcast. So please come. Still some tickets available. The tour's been great, the hours, very fun. And now, without further ado, let's kick it to our buddy, Mark Normand. Welcome, Everybody, to Staffies World. 904800 staff call in. We'll solve all your problems. We have on the couch, new father Mark Norman in the building. How's it feel, bro?

[Stavros Halkias]

It feels weird. He's not mine. It's Matt Rice. He came out doing crowd work. He had a headset.

[Mark Normand]

He came out with a Janet Jackson.

[Stavros Halkias]

M. Yeah, the nurse. How long you been together? What do you do for a living? No, no, it's. It's going great. It's cute. It's gay. It's a little nugget. It's. It's exciting. I'm on no sleep. I want to throw it out the window, but it's. It's exciting.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's you. We were t. We did a benefit, that fire benefit right before your kid was going to get born.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And that was May, your wife and my. So my brother also had a kid. They went to the hospital the same day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And our little guy took a little longer to get to pop out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But they're within. You know, your son and my nephew got. They could do joint birthday parties, man. They're like a day apart, you know, which is pretty fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, my. My brother and me are two years apart. My parents are so cheap. They're like, we'll do a joint two year joint.

[Mark Normand]

We did have a friend growing up. The mysterious and elusive big picture. Who, like, it's just so funny when you can tell how much certain parents care about one sibling more than the other. We had a friend who. His brother was born in June or July, I think June. And he was born in August. So it's like summer, right? It's like same season. But it wasn't like, let's meet in the middle. It was like when the June guy's birthday was like, on the day, they're like, hey, it's both their birthday parties. And I remember going and being like. And, you know, his brother. Fucking loser, dude. You know what I mean? Like, you know how it is. If you're friends with a younger brother, you're like, your older brother's a piece. So growing up, he was our enemy because he was my friend's Enemy, Right. And we go to his. We go to his. I'm going. I'm like, first of all, my mom's like, you want to go to, you know, his birthday party? I was like, I mean, not really.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean?

[Mark Normand]

Not really. But whatever. I guess there'll be fucking Pizza Hut there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Or whatever. And then, and then I get there just fully being like, I'm like eight or something. Just pumped to be like, this party sucks. But I'm hanging out with my boy, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And I just go to my friend and he's just like so bummed out. And I'm like, what's up, man? He was like, this is my birthday party too. And I was like, what? Like, I remember being a little kid and being. And like being pissed off at the injustice of it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Because it was like, you were probably at that one too. They had the above ground pool. I don't know if I was. I don't know. I don't know if you had. If you. That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I keep forgetting you guys have known each other that long. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Holy. I didn't know that. Adorable.

[Mark Normand]

Enemies in Pre K. Yeah, Enemies in Pre K. We got it together in kindergarten.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I was.

[Mark Normand]

I was stopped that to me, I was just a hapless immigrant who didn't even know that I had ire coming from stuff. It wasn't just me. The whole Greek community was against this influx of.

[Stavros Halkias]

Albanians are dirty.

[Mark Normand]

Let's be honest.

[Stavros Halkias]

You guys smell weird. You steal bread.

[Mark Normand]

Hey, come on. His community abandoned him. What happened is he had another Albanian best friend in pre K. Then that kid moved and eldest had to fend for himself and we absorbed him into our friend group in kindergarten.

[Stavros Halkias]

Such specific hate when I was white and black.

[Mark Normand]

No, no. We had very specific Eastern European.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Mark Normand]

You know, blood feuds going.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's great.

[Mark Normand]

And in fact, the reason you probably weren't at that party is because this particular family literally didn't like Albanians. I'm not even kidding. We've talked about it too much. But he was, he had. He was like banned from a friend's house. Cause he was Albanian.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

And that was the first moment I was like, wait, what? I was like. And I was like confused as a kid. Cause I was like. Well, I mean, it's what I. It literally taught me. Ironic racism.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

Because I remember thinking that was so stupid that only like a moron would think that like my friend couldn't come into his house.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Mark Normand]

Because you're just a little kid. It's like, what do you even mean? We're all friends. Why does he. Why do we have to go sneak him a Kool Aid Jammer? I literally would go in the house to get two Kool Aids and come out, and we would drink them on the. Like, in the fucking backyard. He was loud in the backyard, but not in the house.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's great.

[Mark Normand]

It was.

[Caller]

It was so crazy.

[Mark Normand]

It made you cognizant of ethnic injustice, racism, and how fucked up it was at, like, four years old. Like, no, legitimately, seven. Like, seven is when we started having these thoughts.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow, you're like a little jfk. You try to bring the races together. Adorable.

[Mark Normand]

Eventually, they caved, slowly but surely.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love them.

[Mark Normand]

They love me now. Now they have. Now he's been fully accepted. And he was probably the person who taught him that racism is wrong. It's like the shittiest lifet time movie. It's like the shittiest, like, schmaltzy Hollywood movie of like. It's just. Oh, I guess this is just. But the moral is, Albanians can be civilized. You can domesticate an Albanian slow. But anyway, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The key to that, solving that kind of racism is bring in a darker group. Because once. Once a darker group comes in, then you're like, no, no, we got to stick together. Actually. This is. This is way different.

[Mark Normand]

That's why Europe's fascinating is because they're so. They're racist against each other. And if you were to just like, look. Yeah, what do you mean? Like, the Yugoslavian civil war is crazy. It's Serbians versus fucking, like, I don't even know where the rest of those little countries, but it's like, none of us would ever. And they all were like. You see them? It's like Vladi Divach, Luka Doncic. Those guys are technically from different places. You know what I mean? Like, just big Serbs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. But no, that's.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, I'm sure it was. It was probably. It had to be religious, right? Usually Christians. That had to be it.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, it's the same with Ireland. Ireland has a split in the middle with the religion, right? And you're like, you guys are both ugly and drunk and ginger get along.

[Mark Normand]

Well, one side was sucking on the British dick.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, is that what it was?

[Mark Normand]

The other side was like, blowing up the fucking. They. They killed a couple, like, British pedophiles. Pretty good shout out to. We're pro IRA around here. Lizzie's in a box. You what I'm saying?

[Stavros Halkias]

I made a mist. I did a Vicar Street. You ever done a Dublin?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, man, the great comedy crowds in Ireland. But I made the mistake of bringing up the division and it just like ruined the whole. It ruined the whole show. Cuz half the crowd was yelling, the other half was yelling at them.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, really?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh my God. It was a race war. You just saw red hair going crazy, you know, and that was. It was like 20 minutes in. So it was a tough hour.

[Mark Normand]

That's hilarious. Good to know. Yeah, I definitely would have done that. I'm. I'm trying. I'm thinking about. I want to go to Greece this summer and I think I want to tag on Ireland because, you know, Ireland, London, Amsterdam. Do a couple. I really want to work this hour everywhere.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hell yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But I didn't realize that it was still. Still like that.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's heavy. Yeah, it's still there. Yeah. So be careful. Don't bring it up. But great people.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Great fun.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I love that. But anyway, we were. Yeah, that's a nice little tangent off of birthdays.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, what's another one? The. What's the Hotel Rwanda? The Hutus and the poo poos or whatever it is. Yeah. That they're all black, but it's just.

[Mark Normand]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

People can find a way.

[Mark Normand]

People find a way, man. People find a way. We don't have to, you know, Hotel Rwanda. I just watched the movie Elders. Just Google's Hotel Rwanda. Not Rwandan civil war. The movie about it, I guess. Genocide. Really.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, we're doing it. We got a Republican Democrat going on now. Like it's. We're all. We all just find a way to hate each other. It doesn't even have to be color or race or. No gender.

[Mark Normand]

No def. Right now. Well, gender definitely. Gender's classic.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a.

[Mark Normand]

That's. That's never going away. Even when it seems like things are good. It's like, oh, no, we're still treating women bad.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

There's never. There's like. It's like we were kind of getting there, I think. And then it's like, now. Who's to say it could. Yeah, it's getting kind of dicey again.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well now it's because it's like state by state. We're talking abortion. You know, it's like abortions are like weed. You can do it here, but you can't do it here. It's so weird.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

We got to come together on this.

[Mark Normand]

It is. It is fudgeing nuts that it's just like, oh, great, now I have to drive eight hours.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I mean, whatever. We should get. Let's. Let's borsch the gals up. You know what I mean? You should be able to suck whatever you want out of your pussy with a vacuum cleaner as far as I'm concerned.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, until you paid. Like I've paid. Have you paid for one?

[Mark Normand]

Ah, we can't, Mark. We don't gotta get into Ellis's sister here.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can't have an Albanian kid.

[Mark Normand]

Yes, sir. Philosophically, I would not be opposed.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right.

[Mark Normand]

To paying for one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, once you pay for one, you're like, we need this. Yeah, I'm broke. Well, I can't hang out with her anymore.

[Mark Normand]

Well, that's. That's the other. The other thing is that like so many of the people who don't to want to like, ban abortions if their daughter got pregnant.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Are flying her to fucking wherever the fuck you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

And you can't tell me. Look me at all these people think we should ban abortion. Think Trump is the man. How many you think he's got under his belt? I mean, that's one of the most classic abortion paying guys of all time. You know what I mean? Like, that's the archetype of the guy. Like he nutted inside of Stormy Daniels.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

Who else do you think he nutted inside of really fast? Of course, there's no way he's. There's no way. He was a big condoms guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, I have a golden vacuum. It's a beautiful vacuum.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, we should get, you know, whatever. Borsch. Borsch the gals up, man. Do whatever the. You. I. I mean, I have a joke about it, but it's like, you know, I'm working on a bit now, but I'm just like, I really don't even think even Newbor. You shouldn't kill a newborn baby. You hold a newborn.

[Stavros Halkias]

What a take watch.

[Mark Normand]

You hold a newborn. You look at that thing, you're like, this is a per. That's not even your son right now. It's like, that's not a human.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's half baby.

[Mark Normand]

It doesn't even open its eyes. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

It can't do. I don't even want to like, I want to protect my nephew. Your. So whatever. Because I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean? And especially because biologically it's like you've been trained to, but it's like this is. It's like a teddy it's like a stuffed animal.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like a bag of flour.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. But the crazy thing is, by a lot, this is how up men are.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The baby comes out looking like the man. So you don't leave. You're less likely to leave. That's a true thing. Look that up.

[Mark Normand]

Give it a Google.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's. That's why I'm like, adopted. Parents are heroes. If I was adopted, it didn't look like me. I mean, that's going right in the dumpster. Like, one cry, one God. You're going to the incinerator. You queeve.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, no, I totally believe that. Like some. Like a caveman. The whole point is you got to be sure it's your DNA.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

It's not about love. It's not about nurturing a. A soul. It's about making sure your DNA lives on. Who gives a fuck?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's narcissism.

[Mark Normand]

It's crazy. But it's crazy that we. That that is. That. I mean, it just. It's just like, that's who ended up. That's whose DNA gets around. Is the fucking monkeys or whatever the fuck that wanted. That cared about legacy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

The chill monkeys that were like, hey, it's mine. It's not. Well, I love it either way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

They got cucked to oblivion. They got fucked. They got fucked out of existence. But it is funny. It's like, who gives a fuck about your DNA living on? It's like, it should be the same thing. It should be the bonds you form.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

With the. With whoever. Whatever little lump of shit as it grows over time, but.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

There is just something in your head that can't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And you can't fuck with biology. Like, I know it's a hack thing, but you give the baby to the woman and the baby's happier. She knows what to do. Exactly. It's feeding off her tits right now. And I'm very interchangeable.

[Mark Normand]

Totally.

[Stavros Halkias]

I just bring money in and eat her out. Yeah. You know, anybody can do that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that is. That is the. It is interesting that babies don't even conceive of themselves as. Not part of their mother.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Until, like, they're a year old or some.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Mark Normand]

Like, to them, the mo. They are their mom. Like, they're just like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

They're a piece of their mom.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you swaddle it because it's like, oh, I'm back in the stomach.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's pretty wild.

[Mark Normand]

That is fudgeing nuts. The last days of Being a fucking baby must be crazy. I kind of. Kind of understand what's going on as much as a baby can.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

You are inside of a fucking human being.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. That's. Then you come out of a vag and he gets slapped and there's fluorescent lights. Yeah. The whole thing sucks.

[Mark Normand]

And they can't see shit either. That's the other. Don't look at a newborn. They can only see black and white.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

They can't see.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're like racist.

[Mark Normand]

No nuance. Four day old baby does not understand the nuances around the edges.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is crazy. Crazy too that it's like 20, 25 and we still do the nine months. Live in the stuff that feels so primitive. Like we have hair transplants and Lasik and like Ozempic, but we still have to do like this. When it comes to birth, we're still Amish.

[Mark Normand]

Totally.

[Stavros Halkias]

At the end of the day, it's crazy. We haven't figured that. We got Ubereats.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, but we still do this primitive caveman baby belly thing.

[Mark Normand]

You should be able to like you nut inside. You should. First of all, I am a marvel of science. I've said it before. I. I'm in vitro. I'm a. I'm a test tube.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, is that right?

[Mark Normand]

So we've gotten to where you can get it started, but we still have to put like I was at some point in a little fucking test tube and they put jizz in an egg and that was me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And then they had to put it back into my mom. So it's like we've gotten to the point where we can fertilize the things but a woman has to grow it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

You'd think we'd be able to get a little fucking like, you know, a little. Get a little grow light, get a little. You know what I mean? Like there's gotta be a tank. Actually we should. This is. We're just talking about growing humans in vats.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Right.

[Mark Normand]

And that's what's gonna happen is it' know rich people are just going to be able to get whatever organ they like. I instead of a shoulder replacement. It's like instead of putting metal in it, they, they would just have clones of you ready to go.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a 3D printer for babies.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for the kidney.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

See what eldest too.

[Stavros Halkias]

The sequel's always worse.

[Mark Normand]

El Elish kills five of his clones to stitch together one pe.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would be a nice way to get a bigger dick.

[Mark Normand]

A little meat in the middle Your own dick.

[Stavros Halkias]

What are you doing today? I'm growing a dick.

[Mark Normand]

It's springtime, folks. You know what time that is? Sit on a deck and have a nice little beverage. Weather and there's no beverage. I like to have more on a deck on a sunny day than a twisted MF and T. That's right. My year of sobriety is over and I'm sucking down twisted teas like you wouldn't believe. They're delicious. They're brewed with real iced tea. They go down smooth. 5% alcohol by volume. Got different flavors. I'm a raspberry guy. I'm a peach guy. What can I say? I like a little extra sugar in my drink, baby, if you want to be like me, a fun hunter that's out there looking to have a good time on a. It doesn't even have to be a weekend. Hey, call out of work. Drink a twisted tea on your porch. That's what I'm telling you to do. The advice of Star Cycles is not legal. You don't have to. Don't fucking listen to whatever the fuck I say. Just fucking have a twisted tea, you fucking piece of shit. That's a. That was a quick little. Our lawyer stepped in and told that one. So have a twisted tea. It's. It's springtime. It's coming into summertime. I know you like twisted teas, don't you, Mark? Yeah, you heard it from us folks, from me and Mark. If you want to be like us, crack open a delicious twisted tea. And remember, keep it twisted. I know you mean it. And it's also pretty. You think about how scary it is now and how much shit can go wrong now. It's crazy that anyone was born until 100 years ago. I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like the Middle Ages. Like a wolf could come up and steal your kid, or bandits or cold weather, whatever.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Just something could go wrong. Like C sections. I mean, I think they did. I mean, they're named after Caesar, but there's no way they were as foolproof as they are now.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, of course, a lot of women died, too.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And women died constantly in childbirth. It is just. It is. I wonder, humans, naturally, what our rate. Although I guess. I guess this happens in animals, too. It's like animals will routinely have a litter of duds and just be like, oh, that's true. Guess I gotta eat these.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Get cream pied to get a new one going.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, speaking of cloning and the. The 3D printering, I mean, that's kind of what the old folks did back in the day, they're like, we need nine kids because we got a farm. Three are gonna die. Yeah, yeah. I'll one. Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

The hottest one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Either me or I'll trade it to the mayor for first dibs on a choice lot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

At the farmer's market. Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. Yeah. I gotta grow wheat.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. No, you're right. It was like, I guess part. And yeah. You were just factor in that some of them just died.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Happened all the time.

[Mark Normand]

And I guess if that happens to you all the time, loss can't fuck you up as much. Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

True.

[Mark Normand]

You have to be like, numb to.

[Stavros Halkias]

It a little more. Numb for sure. You know what I mean?

[Mark Normand]

Where it's like, if you live in a now, like, there's a lot more trash. I mean, there. Then there was more tragedies. Like life was just a tragedy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And so it's like, I guess you get why people were so fucking abusive. Maybe. Maybe that's not right. Maybe like, they were all abusive. They all fucking hit each other.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

There was just more ugliness, I think.

[Stavros Halkias]

Way more ugliness. But everything went away too, because, like, you did something horrible and people just kind of ate it. They weren't like, let me tweet about this. They just dealt with it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so I think people were a lot stronger back then.

[Mark Normand]

You either let it destroy you or you fucking, you know, committed a murder. A murder secretly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right.

[Mark Normand]

That, you know, you guys, you could get revenge and then just. If you lived in like, Tulsa, you could move to like, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

You can move to Kansas City.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

And be like, my name's actually Jack Swanson.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Boom.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know anything about the guy who killed his whole family in Tulsa. Yeah, yeah. That. It's just like you. You'd move like, what, today is like a drive, right? Like, you would just get a horse together.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Ride it for five hours and be.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, ted Bundy killed a lady in Utah, took a bus to Florida and he was just like a furniture salesman or was just living a new life. Then he killed a bunch of women there. Then he moved to like DC or whatever.

[Mark Normand]

Wild dude. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was easy back then.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Godamn.

[Stavros Halkias]

I do think we've gone too far. Like, you know, obviously that those times were horrible and the. The beat the wife days and kill your kid days.

[Mark Normand]

Sure, sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

But now we're like on Yelp, you know? Now we're like, the restaurant was drafty, gone too far.

[Mark Normand]

Too much salt. You I have probably been sadder about an over. Like, I ruined some crab. I made some crab cakes a couple weeks ago.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, okay.

[Mark Normand]

And I. Instead of the little like, you know, instead of the. Right. The. On the salt pour. The big flap opened. The big flap open. And in my hubris, I thought, it hasn't ruined the crab cake. So I'll make them anyway. Take a bite of the crab cake. Salty. And by the way, you know what sucks? I nailed all the consist and I did it healthy, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

There was no mayo, there was no breadcrumbs. I did it with eggs and like a little bit of panko and I got it to go just right. The consistency tasted like a real crab cake. The salties. But I nailed everything but the salt.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And it was like a healthy meal. That felt like a treat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep.

[Mark Normand]

I probably was more annoyed that day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Than like a guy who lost his wife in a fire in 1840.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you're right, dude. You're right. We have gone too far with like what is considered a tragedy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I love you sticking to the roots though. Baltimore crab cake.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I love crab cake.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's great.

[Mark Normand]

Well, I'm trying to eat healthy. I'm trying to get ready for this tour. Crab meat, incredible. Macros.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love crab, incredible.

[Mark Normand]

It's very expensive. That's the one thing about being rich. I get to just do like, you know, it's like a little tub that in the, you know, back in the day, it's like, it's like 19. Yeah, no, it's like more. Dude. It's like 25. Yeah. 30 bucks. Whatever. And I'll just smash a third of that a day.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so good.

[Mark Normand]

It's so good.

[Stavros Halkias]

With a fork.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, you eat it with a fork. A very high protein, very low calorie. I'm trying to keep my protein up. Up. About to hit the. Well, we're on the road. This. This is recorded a little ahead of time, folks. We're in the midst of the Dreamboat tour. Now come see me. Hopefully I haven't fallen off the wagon. Hopefully Eldis isn't shaking me awake in my bunk. There's a bunch of Snickers, rappers, Vicodin around me.

[Stavros Halkias]

He relapsed. Turn his head sideways.

[Mark Normand]

I pass you a weed pen at 7:45 in the morning after we had speed bump. Yeah. You're like, you need your rest. You need your rest. The. The people. This half filled theater in Bakersfield isn't going to entertain itself. Yeah. I don't know why might you put Bakersfield. I cannot sell a ticket to sell my life. If you're the. Some of the white trash that lives in Bakersfield, come on out. We're going to raffle off one of those Cookie Monster hats and a month's worth supply of White Monster. That's how we're going to get the people of Bakersfield out there. Three corn CDs for everyone who buys a ticket to Bakersfield.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah, free orange Crocs. The wrong town burned.

[Mark Normand]

But yeah, no, but I do like, I. You know, I keep it. I. There is a soft spot. I feel like the older, you know, the general hypothesis I have is like, when you're young, you want to get as far away as possible from where you came from. And then this is the beginning. I mean, look, I'm not dying, but this is the beginning of no realizing you did what you could. You can't. What am I gonna, like, try and become better forever, right? I made. I did better than anyone in my family ever has.

[Stavros Halkias]

Doing great.

[Mark Normand]

I like Baltimore enough. I'm not gonna, you know, I like New York too, but so it's like, I'm kind of returning to my roots a little bit where it's like, go back to Baltimore a little bit, Make a crab cake.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love it.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean? My family's there. I'd like. I used to have this. This fantasy of moving my whole family to New York. That's never gonna.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, a little buffer is good.

[Mark Normand]

Buffer's dude. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Also, talk about how well you're doing for a test tube baby. You should be like the poster child. You're killing it. Also, I love the idea of you at a test do like a tiny Hawaiian shirt with brown glasses.

[Mark Normand]

Just mashed into it, right? A doctor. We couldn't have gotten a bigger test tube?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, there's stuff for us.

[Mark Normand]

Louise Brown, some British bitch was the first one in 1978, apparently.

[Stavros Halkias]

There you go.

[Mark Normand]

According to Eldis. Wow, that's bullshit. So a friend. I grew up with another test tube baby who claimed he was the first batch. Oh, and that was 10 years after this lady. Your story's getting thinner and thinner, man. I thought I was in the second batch in America. Well, maybe I was in America, actually. But no, if the British could do it, we can do it. Hell yeah, you, you limey pricks. Yeah, so, yeah, so you're really in the throws of it. But what about the, like, you know, the crushing pressure of another human life depending on you?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's hard, man. It's Hard. It's scary.

[Mark Normand]

For you of all people, of all the people in my life, I know who I'm like, they're not built for that. No.

[Stavros Halkias]

But here, look. This is how I. I agree, but I think it's kids and have kids, so that's a good thing that keeps me going through the day.

[Mark Normand]

Nice baseline. Yeah, nice baseline.

[Stavros Halkias]

The hardest part of it, you know, the. The screaming, the. The no sleep. But the hardest part is waking up in the morning because you get like, oh, I got a couple hours sleep. I feel pretty good. And then w. And you're like, oh, we're doing this all again. Oh, my God, it's Groundhog Day. You know, when you just, like, want to lay there for 30 more minutes? I get a couple more winks, that shit's over, and you're just back in boot camp. It's like living with a celebrity. I'm like JLo's assistant. She's cranky, she wants to eat. I gotta get the right outfit. Is she cold? You know, so it's hard. But, boy, when that thing's sleeping on your chest with his butt, you patting it and you can hear his little snorting, it's pretty great. Okay, so that part is nice. But yeah, just the. You know what? You know, we're walking down the street, me and the wife with the stroller, and you see younger people walk by you, and they kind of have that like, o. Sucks for this guy. I remember being that guy. I'm a stroller douche. You know, I'm the guy like, oh, I got the bottle down here. I got the Pampers over here. We went to a brewery, had a couple drinks at the Be at the beer garden. But then there's like, young people screaming. We're like, we got to go. It's too loud. And you're that guy. Now I'm looking for schools, which sucks. I'm not allowed near them. You know, it's hard, but it's a shift.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I mean, but that is good. I mean, that's. You should be that guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

Cuz. What are the alternatives?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean? That's. That's the thing. That's. That's. That's the crushing reality that I'm faced with now where I'm like, like, you know, I mean, I like, obviously being an uncle is not anywhere near being a dad.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

Right. But it is the thing. It's the first time I've ever been like, oh, this is a new person whose, like, life I'm gonna Be. It's almost like I used to be like, fuck global warming. I'm not having fucking kids. And then you realize, well, people you care about will be on Earth. You know what I mean? I had this stupid thought of, like, if I don't have kids, like, it just ends with me. When in reality, it's like, there's so many people younger than you, and there's so much shit that you want to help out. And, like, this is like a baby whose life I'm gonna, like, you know, help mold or whatever. And then I'm like, all right, Uncle's cool. But then just thinking about being a guy who just is perpetually single.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

And especially in entertainment, you see it.

[Stavros Halkias]

These fucking names.

[Mark Normand]

You could pretend. Yeah, yeah. Check out the roast of anyone.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, no, you're so true. And people think your life is over, but, like, look, Bill Burr is thriving and Chris Rock has a couple kids.

[Mark Normand]

But that's what it's like. It's not only that it's not over. It's like, this is sort of what. It's a. This is part of it, right? Like, we liked one part of life, I think me. Both.

[Stavros Halkias]

Me and you are like, a great time.

[Mark Normand]

We had a great 20s through, you know, that. That 20, 20 to 40, tons of.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gas, tons of drugs, tons of traveling, tons of success with shows and audiences and tv, whatever.

[Mark Normand]

But you can't keep that going forever. Like. No, it's also the realization, like, you can't keep that going forever. Then it's like, well, what are the. Then it's like, if you can't, you shouldn't want to. And then it's like, being a part of the next generation should be what that next 20 years is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

40 to 60 is like. You can be an active, you know, shepherding in some. Whoever comes next, Help them out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And then, you know, 60. 60. 60 to 70. The little twilight of being a useful person. 70 to 80. Like, unless you're Dick Van Dyke, who's still tap dancing at fucking 102 years old.

[Stavros Halkias]

True. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like, it's, you know, then you're fucking old as shit. Then. Then my plan is to, you know, really just be fattest. Like, if you think I'm fat now, I'm gonna have one awesome year of my 70s, just fattest shit in a rocking chair, right? Whittling, eating all the apple pie I want. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

You just eat like Trump. Yeah. Just get McDonald' and all taco salads.

[Mark Normand]

Trump really is like, an example, because he's he didn't drink. He doesn't drink.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Mark Normand]

He really is an example of like, damn, maybe I shouldn't drink.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

Because he's the least healthy looking. Like, he looks like. And like. Yeah. What it's the worst thing that happened to Trump is that Biden. He doesn't. He can't compare himself to Biden anymore.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Because he seems senile. As.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who are we talking? Oh, Trump.

[Mark Normand]

Trump now without the light. Like, Joe Biden was like the nicest comparison point for anyone losing their mind. I mean, I'm not this guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And it's like, okay, well, he's, you know, somewhere in Delaware eating fucking Breyer's vanilla ice cream.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And being told it's 1968.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know, so you can't compare yourself to him anymore. And it's like he looks. His mind is definitely going, but it's like the fact that he's still even kicking at all.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

With like all the McDonald's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, it's crazy. But he just. That you don't think. Megan Gaza, the Middle Eastern Riviera is a great idea.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think he's riffing now. He's just saying.

[Mark Normand]

Well, that's the thing. He's so clearly just riffing and he's doing whatever it takes to get his. He, like. I think he likes to be very. He likes being popular. He knows his base. Like, I don't even think again the way it's like he paid for. He's definitely paid for abortions. Like, does Trump even hate trans people?

[Stavros Halkias]

Probably not.

[Mark Normand]

He pro. He probably has gone to like drag shows and like that. Oh, he's from New York. He's a New York. He's a queen's New York guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

He's definitely racist. He's definitely. He is homophobic, don't get me wrong. But he doesn't. He's. He's more open minded because he's a New York guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

And I think all this is just like, especially the abortion stuff. It's like he was. He was a mainstream corporate Democrat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. For years.

[Mark Normand]

And then he was just like, you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Know, he's pro sex work.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, obviously.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He put. He puts his money where his mouth is on that one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is this a crazy statement? Has anyone made this first blonde president President give that a goof.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm just saying.

[Mark Normand]

That's a good point.

[Stavros Halkias]

No one has really brought that up. Are there other.

[Mark Normand]

I'm sure there were back in the day, but we don't have pictures of them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, maybe you're right.

[Mark Normand]

Let's figure this out though. Oh, Andrew Jackson apparently was blonde.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, okay.

[Mark Normand]

And he was pre a maniac.

[Stavros Halkias]

He was a wild dude.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Oh yeah, we got some sandy hair.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right. All right.

[Mark Normand]

Strawberry blonde though. I don't see any pure blondes.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, Trump is clearly like dark brown.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, that's true.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, but he was bald. He's the only bald guy we had.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we know.

[Mark Normand]

We only know pictures of all these guys from like late, late. True. Yeah. Like George. Even George Washington. Andrew Johnson. Yeah. Probably had some blonde Andrew Jackson. You mean Andrew Johnson was after what's his face got assassinated Lincoln, dumbass. Dude, don't with me AP US History, bro. Sorry, APU is this year I got a 5 on that exam. Dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

Speaking of Biden, you see got picked up by caa.

[Mark Normand]

Hilarious.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's that about?

[Mark Normand]

Just die, you piece of.

[Stavros Halkias]

What are you gonna be in a movie? I don't get it.

[Mark Normand]

He's probably, probably at some like horrific like self suck documentary.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean? Something like that. But yeah, it's like. I mean it's not as embarrassing as Obama making a production company when he left office.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, then he made that Julia Roberts movie.

[Mark Normand]

So embarrassing. Dude. Did you guys see Later Daters? It's like a Netflix dating show for older people.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like produced by Michelle Obama.

[Mark Normand]

It's actually pretty awesome. So they probably are. Damn, dude, they really are divorced, huh? They are secretly divorced. Michelle's. Michelle's getting her pipeline set up on Netflix. She's gonna be the Real Housewives of Washington D.C. that would be a great show. Melania and, and Michelle.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that would be good.

[Mark Normand]

Hillary. Oh, Hillary Milani. We just wrote a really shitty sketch.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a great sketch.

[Mark Normand]

We just. We just wrote.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is gold. Mad tv. He's still around.

[Mark Normand]

Let's reboot MAD TV for this one. It would actually be funny if Mad.

[Stavros Halkias]

TV did is funny that Biden went Hollywood because he was almost replaced by a black woman. He's like the new mermaid. He's the mermaid.

[Mark Normand]

You should say that. You should say he got cancer. Canceled. If Biden came out and said he got canceled and that wokeness made them choose a black woman, he would be fucking Trump's VP tomorrow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, they kicked me out.

[Mark Normand]

Because you're woke.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's pretty good.

[Mark Normand]

It's not. Dude. You just have to fucking mumble and sound like you're in pain. Fellas, April's here, but this ain't no time for fooling, baby. It's time to let those thighs breathe. Get the gams out. Show off your calves. Show off your musculature. You've been doing squats all winter. Show them off with Chubby's beautiful shorts. Maybe you're not a shorts guy. Couldn't be me. Bright polos that demand attention. Check the thighs. Thigh shorts. Double check, triple double check. Hitting the pool or the beach. I love the classic lined swim short by Chubby's. I've said this before on other reads. I've been a fan of Chubby's before I even was doing. Honestly, I was in college and I was purchasing Chubby's. I've always enjoyed their products. They have bright cool patterns. You know, I'm a peacock and fat guy. I'm not one of these fat guys that hides in the shadows. I lead with my gut and my fat little delicious thighs. Be like me. It's given me a lot of success in life. And Chubby's has provided before anybody else was given swagged out clothes for the fat community. Chubby's was there for me with 2 XL 5 inch inseam shorts. Do it. Just. It's springtime. Show them off. Don't be dis. Don't be scared. Your body's beautiful. Okay? They like that type of thing out here these days. So whether it's the original stretch shorts, performance polos or Chubby's classic line swim collection. Grab something. Grab something to look good this spring into the summer. Whether you're getting dressed for your workday, a workout or a weekend getaway, Chubby's has you covered for a limited time. Chubby's is giving our viewers 20% off your order with our code Stavvies World. S T A V V Y S W O R L d@chubby shorts.com that's code stavis world@chubby shorts.com support our show and tell them we sent you. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with Chubby's. Yeah, I mean, are you thinking about like, are you just. Is it just day at a time when you have a newborn but it's like, like how far ahead do you have? Like, you know, it doesn't seem like you're the type of guy who wants his son to be a. The quarterback.

[Stavros Halkias]

No.

[Mark Normand]

But do you have any thoughts about, like, have you when you daydream about what having a kid? Because you, you must be. You can't help it. Almost.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Of course you have a Baby, you start thinking about what's this kid gonna be like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Have you had any, like, of those initial.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah. I. I want him to be a nerd. I want him to be like a book kid. We're doing no phones. We're doing all that last. I know, I know. And I. He's growing up in Brooklyn, so he's going to have a lot of diverse friends and see the world and all these resources. So. Yeah, hoping for the best. But right now, it's day at time. It's all scheduling. I got a pod, then I got a show, then she's got a pod, then she's got a friend thing or whatever. So that's. That's where we're at now.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, this guy's going to be gripping an iPad, so you can do a spot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's true.

[Mark Normand]

This kid's going to be eating. Eating tahini at the Olive Tree.

[Stavros Halkias]

Here's two girls, one cup. Just hang here.

[Mark Normand]

I got to go give him rice. You just go to the waitress at the Cellar, like, just give him a little rice.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. Keep an eye on them.

[Mark Normand]

They could start having daycare there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's a good point.

[Mark Normand]

You know upstairs where the studio used to be? Yeah, the YKD WD studio used to be. They have. They do a baby podcast. You. Joe. You and Joe's son should just start, you know, Tuesdays with stories, babies the way they had Muppet babies. Just set those little up there.

[Stavros Halkias]

They got Chris D's kids. We got all agreers. It's like 74 kids. Yeah, that's not bad. Half of the waitresses, two birds.

[Mark Normand]

True. Yeah. Why? Yeah, child care. Let's get it going.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not bad.

[Mark Normand]

Nice. A little. Nice little nerd, huh? Stay out of trouble.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, exactly. I want, like a nerdy, introverted book kid who likes insects. You know, stuff like that. That's what I'm hoping for.

[Mark Normand]

Were you. Did you have, like, any fascinations when you were a little ass kid?

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I was obsessed with skateboarding, but before that, it was all movies. I was just like, such a movie nut.

[Mark Normand]

Really? Even as a little kid?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah. Superheroes, too. Superheroes and movies. I loved. I. I built it. I made my own utility belt. Had like a slingshot in it, some rocks. You know those little weird popper things you pop on the sidewalk. I had a cape.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, love that. The cape.

[Stavros Halkias]

One time I got. Got pushed off my bike when I was a kid. I got my bike stolen and I had face paint of, like, superheroes. On my cheeks, like a Batman symbol and a Superman symbol and a cape.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I was like, third 31. And this. These three kids, like, roughed me up and took my bike, and I ran home crying, and I saw the face paint. It made it so much worse.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I mean, to steal the butt, like, of a kid in a cape. It's hilarious. It's brutal, dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was brutal. So embarrassing. Running home, the capes flapping. The Superman is running from the tears.

[Mark Normand]

Emasculated, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

But talk about a mark, you know? Talk about, like a perfect. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I mean, dude. Licking their chops.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So you come out there on that Huffy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Flapping in the wind. Halt. This is my butt. Halt.

[Stavros Halkias]

Evil doers, right?

[Mark Normand]

Super marks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, exactly. Break my slingshot in front of me. Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Did you ever try to be a vigilante?

[Stavros Halkias]

I tried. I went outside for 10 minutes. I heard one. One guy yell. I ran inside.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

I also. Do you ever run away from home? I did that. That last about eight minutes.

[Mark Normand]

I never did. I. I did. I think I went as far as, you know, packing the b. The little kid bag you pack.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Where it's like, you know, cookies. Yeah. Graham crackers.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. A baseball card.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. A Nintendo 64 cartridge that you can't put anywhere. You're like, well, when I get. When I get settled down, they'll have a. They'll have an N64. Wherever I lay my head.

[Stavros Halkias]

Kids thinking it's great. Then you go out, you get diddled once, and you're like, all right, I'm going home.

[Mark Normand]

You did you. What did you do? Do you. Do you. Was it after a fight or something or.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. Big fight with the folks over some. And then I packed a bag and I went outside. I lived in a pretty rough neighborhood, so it was just like, you heard glass break, you heard a baby crying. You're like, about. As a stray dog.

[Mark Normand]

You just walked a little bit, basically.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I love when. I love the videos of a baby, like, of parents clearly calling a baby's blood.

[Stavros Halkias]

No.

[Mark Normand]

Like, oh, okay. I guess you. I guess you running away then, right? All right. See ya.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Then they get out to the stairs and start crying, Right? Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You ever watch those Jimmy Kimmel candy videos back in the day?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, man, they're so dark. It's like Halloween the next day, and they go, oh, we ate it all. And the kids are like, what the.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, you with a crab cake.

[Mark Normand]

You betray. Yeah. It's Literally. I do. I have seen those videos and it is weird because it is like you're betraying the trust of your children.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

To get on television.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. It's pretty gross.

[Mark Normand]

What's the point of this, man?

[Stavros Halkias]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

Or even like, okay, do it. Even mess with your kid.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

Like I ate all your candy. Even get him worked up and then be like, here you go, buddy.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

These kids are looking and staring down the barrel of a camera. I know. And it's. And there's just. You can't help but learn the lesson that like, like a. Your parents are manipulating you for click, whatever. But also that like doing that is good or it has value.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

You're teaching a kid that like showing intense emotion or tricking someone else or betraying a loved one on camera has inherent value. And that's so up to do.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then you wonder why they go on only fans in 10 years.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, this. I thought cameras were better off.

[Mark Normand]

I would rather rather do that. I'd rather my kid. I'd rather, you know, my nephew be on only fans. Make a. Make himself a nice buck. Buy us a house. Yeah, no, that is, it is fun. It is hilarious. To that. That was so weird. But I will say that is one thing with, with the baby. It's like, you know, my brother obviously is obsessed with taking pictures of his kid. You can't help it. It's like your baby. Sure, sure, take picture. But it's like this little is looking at the camera.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

He's posing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He's like seven months, seven days old. And he's got like a nice. Like, he knows, he knows.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's got like a blue steel.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, he truly like, he's like, he's. I mean, come on.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's no way he knows.

[Mark Normand]

But I just mean like he doesn't know because he doesn't know anything.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

But it's like that I am a little worried about the like a bit because it's like, look, whatever. He's so. He's brand new. He doesn't know. But like, you know, I have friends who have a two year old old and this guy like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

They all know, dude. They all know. They all like are very cognizant of how they look on camera.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, where are you at on the public figure? Because like, look, if some rando wants to show their family on Instagram, I get it, but where are you at on like a famous person showing their kids should.

[Mark Normand]

I don't think.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't think you should either look, it's your kid. But they didn't say yes to that.

[Mark Normand]

100, 100. And also with all these things, the thing I'm all. The thing I'm always looking at is like, who are the guys who own these things? Know what it does to people? What are they doing? And it's like Zuckerberg's never showed his kids face.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

And it's like Zuckerberg, by the way, doesn't show his kids face.

[Stavros Halkias]

Won't let him use Facebook.

[Mark Normand]

Won't let him. It's like, what is that? Come on. Like, how.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

How clear is this?

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly? Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Like he bought like a fucking huge farm. He's never around computers. It's like, what do you think they're poisoning? Like, yes. In like 20 years, if all goes well. Zuckerberg is in jail for what he's done to us. You know what I mean? Like, these people are all behind bars for this shit. And for. For now, it's like, have some delicious meat that no one has ever. It's like, it's like pre usda, we're all eating canned meat and getting botulism.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And it's like we're the fucking rich guys that had those factories ever eating their own thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

No chance. I mean, the Sackler family isn't taking fentanyl.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that a family should be. Oh, the worst should be rounded up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

But, but yeah, I mean, that's. That's kind of what I. That's the. Those are the cues I take. Or like, are the people in charge of this? How are they behaving? And it's like, they won't. They're not doing it. You don't see their kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

Steve Jobs wouldn't allow an iPad around his kids. That's a true thing. It's like, what are we doing here?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I mean, you meet an iPad kid and you're like, yeah, yeah, this is up. You meet it now at this point, like a 24 year old who was like the first generation of like babies with iPads. And. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, you know, it's different.

[Mark Normand]

It's. It's crazy. It's like they can't be for once. Like, I definitely have my stretches where I cannot. Where I have to be listening to something. Or like, you know, you had the joke about your thoughts. Oh, you know, forgetting your headphones because it's like you have to be around your own thought. You know, thoughts aren't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And I definitely get that way But I sometimes I think like these kids do not have an internal monologue. Like I think it goes beyond. Like they're just escaping it and it's just like they're just fucking constantly plugging something in there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

The point where maybe they just do sort of like. I feel like, I don't know, this generation might just the way like it's scary to think about, you know, having a fucking chip in my head for me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

How many generations are we away from a kid being like, oh, nice, my phone could just be in my head. Sick.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, oh, that's coming.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

For sure.

[Mark Normand]

It's probably pretty soon there's people our.

[Stavros Halkias]

Age or older who probably.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, but they're dork. Try hards. I mean like kids who just like the phone is just their way how they live. These guys are like, I'm going to be. They're like that guy who's trying to live forever by, you know, seeing how hard his son's dick gets. Like, they're just pretending. They're like, like, you know, part of the, the, the cutting edge.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Visionaries. Whereas I mean like regular. That have no concept philosophically of technology. It's just like it's gone so far beyond that it just seeps into their like, way of thinking.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Yes. Well, I mean if you asked a 19 year old kid now to take a. Without his phone, he would, he'd be like, hello in there. And he'd just be. His wrist would be slit. He couldn't. Because your own thoughts. So they can't do it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Also, phones are the only invention where I hear people say, I'm glad I grew up before that.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it's like we're obsessed with it. I can't leave the house without it. But I'm also like, thank God it wasn't around when I was a kid. Which is such a weird. We don't do that with penicillin. Like, oh, thank God I was born before this.

[Mark Normand]

Life saving for antibiotics.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I don't know, man. I am a technology skeptic, obviously, but I use it as much as anyone. I dream of becoming a, a Luddite. I dream of like no phone but the, the fomo.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, what am I missing? Am I gonna sell any tickets? Because it's really a work thing for us or for me. That's.

[Mark Normand]

That's the way in. And then you're like, I have to check. And then it's like, oh, nice, a lady with huge tits is on a trampoline.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Mark Normand]

And then it's like, oh, whoa, another lady with huge tits. Oh, this one's stretching right. Oh, a big ass burger. Nice. And then four AI Japanese milfs with double left titties. I can't do AI. I can't. The AI doesn't make my dick hard. It pisses me off, actually.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's getting good, but I still can tell. And it. I like a C section scar. I like the. You know, the, the, the. The cellulite. I want a little imperfection.

[Mark Normand]

Absolutely. A little up tooth.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

You know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Bad tattoo.

[Mark Normand]

Ab. Oh, the bad tattoo is crucial.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's hot.

[Mark Normand]

Crucial. If you have good tattoos, nothing but good tattoos. That's crazy. I mean, that's. Doesn't really happen that often, but you got some.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah. I hooked up with a girl. She had a horrible bad like a wiley coyote on the side. And you're like, you are a dumb for doing that. But it was hot because it was so dumb. You make mistakes.

[Mark Normand]

Absolutely. No, I love. I love dumb tattoos.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I love dumb tattoos. I love dumb hair. I like looking stupid. Looking stupid but be. But still looking cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Is fun for me. You know, I mean, that is. I'm one of those people, you know, like, I look dumb as for most.

[Stavros Halkias]

People, but it's like, this is a beauty.

[Mark Normand]

Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

And hey, but congratulations. But movie. You got the movie on Hulu. Thank you. That's huge. You're a movie guy.

[Mark Normand]

We did good. Yeah. Yeah. No Weinstein, folks. I'm not so my dick is small, but it's not up and shredded or whatever. Oh, yeah, pig's dick. Yeah, he was. He was. Was with a cor. Like a. With. With a corkscrew. Pig's tail. That's up, dude. To. To have a mangled cop.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

It's just like. And be like, yeah, this is how much of a monster I am. It's like, what is this? It's just purely to destroy someone. You piece of.

[Stavros Halkias]

Apparently Hitler Harvey. Yeah. They're all up dicks.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, yeah. Epstein's dick was like little and egg shaped.

[Stavros Halkias]

Egg shaped? Yeah. It's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

That is hilarious. Is that multiple people described his dick as egg shaped?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Well, yeah. The Hitler thing. Is that true? Is his micro dick? Well, I guess we'll never fully know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that and a one ball.

[Mark Normand]

One ball.

[Stavros Halkias]

He had one ball. Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He gets shot off.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think he was born with the defect.

[Mark Normand]

Born with. Now, was it one fat nut or one little nut?

[Stavros Halkias]

I think it was a little nut.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. Cuz one. You know, big fat balls.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not undescended. That's what it was.

[Mark Normand]

Undescended. So one of his nuts was still up in his gut nuts. Whoa.

[Stavros Halkias]

You see, that's. You need. It's like Kevin Hart. You need like the. You have this. I don't say ailment.

[Mark Normand]

Hitler's like Kevin Hart. Continue.

[Stavros Halkias]

They both work really hard, but like Kevin Hart is five foot one or whatever. So he's like, I gotta push it and work. That's how I overcompensate.

[Mark Normand]

He does have a huge penis though.

[Stavros Halkias]

He does have a huge dog. But I'm saying he's 4 foot 8 or whatever. Rogan's got an empire. He's 4 foot 2 and Hitler's got one ball. Epstein's got dick. You got to overcompensate.

[Mark Normand]

Okay. All right, interesting. So when we're growing our. When we're growing our. Our little clones in the vats, they got to have nice. Yes. You know, they got to be handsome idiots.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Can't have little up guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

We can't have a clone Hitler coming back and putting all the non clones doing a non clone holocaust. We cannot have that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, Right.

[Mark Normand]

That's good to know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

All right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, and to go a step further, I noticed a lot of famous people were. So I think maybe I'm not. I'm not advocating, but I think it does propel you to work harder because you got your running.

[Mark Normand]

I'd like to see the statistics on that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oprah, Tyler Perry. Michael Jackson was beaten.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Any kind of childhood trauma will either push you into murder or. Or entertainment.

[Mark Normand]

I guess that's the important part is like, let's see the percentages of. Of superstars and guys who shot 711 clerk for. Because they were trying to, you know, get the. The raw ingredients for meth.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

But you know, that's the great thing about.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is a lot of them were diddled, isn't it? It's like. It's like a vampire.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You make one by. By with it, you know?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And that's why I think it all does go back to when the world was so fucked up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

That they were. Everyone was a monster.

[Stavros Halkias]

Everyone was a monster.

[Mark Normand]

Every, like, like a good. Like you watch a period piece, a movie, whatever. It's like travel was dangerous because without the, like the. The delicate balance of a town where everybody sort of kept tabs on everybody else.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

If you were just on a road alone, it's like, oh yeah. 60% chance someone will fucking murder you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course you. Or you have a horse, you have supplies. Y. I need. You have a gun. I need that gun.

[Mark Normand]

It's like you just expect violence 100%. It's like just. That's how little the hu. Like, humanity existed. Or how little, how little we, like, respected each other. Where it's like, yeah, we're breaking to, to make a world free of all that. That takes a lot of untangling.

[Stavros Halkias]

It really does. And I, I, I'm not a religious guy, but I think it helps. Back then, you're like, thou shall not kill. You made a list of rules, and then you, you're dumb and you think there's a guy upstairs. You're gonna, you know, put you or in hell. So you're like, all right, I'll follow the rules. I won't kill, I won't steal. I won't fuck my neighbor's oxen or whatever it was.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I do think it was probably important to keep society kind of float. Just the fear of something even worse than your hellish existence.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

Because it's like none of their lives were good.

[Stavros Halkias]

No. God, no.

[Mark Normand]

1 big part of our business here at Stavie Baby Enterprises is our thriving online shop. And, you know, we have, we have our, our calendars basically pay for elders whole salary, if I'm being honest with you. We sell T shirts. We got it. We got, we got stickers coming in, coming out. Whatever you're thinking, we use that. We sell that and we use that thanks to Shopify. It's the best. And then, look, we do some good business. But when you think about other businesses that are really crushing it in the online retail space, whether we're talking aloe allbirds, skims, whatever. The business behind the business is as big a part as what they're actually selling. Nobody does does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%. Way less carts go abandoned and more sales go into your pocket. Meaning. Oh, yeah, that's right. Dollars. Thanks to Shopify. Businesses that sell more, they sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that we use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com all lowercase s t a v y go to shopify.comstavi to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.comstavi well, I think it is time to take some of your newfound wisdom as a father.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh.

[Mark Normand]

And apply it to our dear friends here at Calling in from Stavi's World. So, Ellis, what do you have for our wise friend Mark? Mark.

[Caller]

Hi, St. I love your show.

[Mark Normand]

Thank you.

[Caller]

So I recently have started seeing somebody. He's a man, and I kind of knew him beforehand. He's kind of a. Unfortunately, a Dembro. Okay, fine. But I just recently found out that he is on Tran trend and steroids as well as testosterone. Is it true that bodybuilders get physically violent?

[Mark Normand]

Damn.

[Caller]

I'm trying to figure that out. Wonderful. I have no issues with him. So far, we mesh very well. But it's just the gym bro. He is a gym bro. I don't know if I'm supposed to tell him to not do that or if I'm, like, overstepping down to say, hey, don't do steroids. But very short. I don't really know what to say other than I love you and I love your show and hopefully am going to see you when you go on tour.

[Mark Normand]

Nice.

[Stavros Halkias]

By the way, I think she said, hey, Stav, and it translated to hot dog.

[Mark Normand]

I know. It's Google voice transcription. Cannot figure out staff or eldest to save his life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

One of those says pizza rose. Is that even, like. So. Okay, this is interesting. So the person she's dating is on. Is on gear, basically. You know, can you tell him to stop? Is kind of crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

This is how. This is how you met the guy. It's also, you're not. It sounds like you just started. She said, recently started seeing somebody. And I guess it's the kind of thing where, you know, if not if. If you don't. Which, by the way, if this guy's doing things the right way, you know, a lot of these gym bros these days actually do know how to do this correctly. Like, it's kind of a crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Mark Normand]

I think it is a little nuts. I mean, obviously, I'm unhealthy. Right? I know that. But bodybuild, like, guys who take a ton of steroids and keep a ton of muscle, like, that's not healthy for you either. Like, they. They do it to look cool because they're chasing, being jacked, and they're essentially trading a little bit of their future health for, you know, and unless you do it in a very smart way, it can be really bad for you. Yeah. And so I think as long as nothing bad is happening. Right. Like, the fact that she's even like, do these guys get violent? We'll see. In a cute way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

That scares me. A little bit. I hope you, I hope you don't find out. Yeah, or I hope you find out when he like, you know, punched a hole through wall because he lost an Xbox game and then, and then, you know, to break up with him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

But you know, the way I think you approach it is just like this, this is who he was. Same thing is like, if he smoked weed or if even like, if I was dating somebody, for example, and they knew I was fat as shit and within a month they're like, how about some salads?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'd be like, ah, good point.

[Mark Normand]

Fuck you, bitch.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's like, what are you, what are you out of your fucking mind?

[Stavros Halkias]

You knew who I was.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, exactly. You knew who the fuck I am. It'd be different if she was like, hey, you know, how do you feel? Or like, it's different if you want to talk to him about him and understand. Like, if somebody came up to me and was like, how do you feel about, do you feel? Cause there were times in my life where I was just, I was just getting fucked up, having a good ass time, not thinking. But there were other times in my life where I would have welcomed someone to be like, what's going on with your habits? Like, are you feeling okay?

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, sure.

[Mark Normand]

Like, is everything okay? It was somebody I loved and just, and she just really wanted to be like, do you like getting this up? Sometimes that can help. So maybe you could just talk to him about like what? Like, oh, are you bodybuild? Like, what is even to just understand him as a person?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

Cuz it is weird if you're not a competing bodybuilder and you're just like, you just have that level of body dysmorphia where you want to be jacked for no reason. And there are possible health, health negatives. And it's probably expensive. Like, what are you trying to get out of this? Yeah, is something I'm, I would be curious.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like, and maybe it's just an expensive habit for him. Maybe instead of building Legos, he likes building his biceps or whatever. But I think you talked him for that. And as long as there's no negatives to you, the only thing I could think of is, you know, being worried about his health, which could potentially, could potentially happen if he's not doing things the right way.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I think she could broach that. That and because that's kind of a coming from a place of compassion. Hey, I'm worried about your health. Just want to make sure you know what you're doing. But that's probably when she'll get hit. So. So then, then you can gauge. Okay, I guess he is violent. Then you get out.

[Mark Normand]

Perfect.

[Stavros Halkias]

Perfect solution.

[Mark Normand]

So here's what you do. You take him, you go. You say, I have a fun activity. We're going to go do one of those jackass stunts where we. Where we get away from a. A police dog. And you're both wearing that giant protective. You're wearing that giant protective suit. Yeah. When you tell them not to do steroids. Because then, you know, you could take. You could take a punch or two if. Should you if you're wearing that giant suit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. But I do take a little umbrage with the, hey, this guy's a gym bro, blah, blah. I'm like, you probably like the muscles that he had out of the gate. You're like, who's this guy at the bar? Or whatever it was. So that is a little tough with like, he's a gym bro, blah, blah. Like you like the muscle. It's like a guy going, this chick, she. She's on the treadmill all day. But you also don't want a fat girl girl.

[Mark Normand]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

So there is a little that but I think.

[Mark Normand]

Or the like, oh, she does. Only fans. It's like, you like those big fat tits.

[Stavros Halkias]

That too.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like.

[Mark Normand]

It is. There is. That's possible. It could be a little hypocrisy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can't have it both ways.

[Mark Normand]

It. I do think there is something to. We are attracted to people when we don't know that much about them. You know where it's like, yeah, you're right. It's probably hot that she probably liked how jacked this guy was. But yeah, that guy that's jacked is different from like wanting to go out to dinner and he's like, oh, but I cooked boiled chicken and broccoli for the whole week.

[Stavros Halkias]

I need my protein.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean? Like, that's. That's different. So, you know, you have to think about. Are you. Is this. She seems fine with it, though. I think she's more just worried about the violence, the potential violence.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which is fair.

[Mark Normand]

Which is very fair. I think.

[Stavros Halkias]

I do think the like, you can be jack. You can hit the gym and not do steroids. Droids are tran. Whatever the that is.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And still be jacked, by the way. Totally. So I, I don't know if he needs the roids. Yeah. Unless you're not in the NFL.

[Mark Normand]

But that's what I Mean, it's like why that there is a huge. There is like definitely a something going around the Internet where there's these guys that like want to look awesome just for pure vanity. Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

And it's not. It used to be you wanted to girls.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

These guys don't even want that.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no.

[Mark Normand]

They want attention from other guys. Honestly. Like it's like this weird thing and some of them are just like. Some of them do so like are so lean and whatever and are so jacked that it up their sex drive or some of these. Some of this like some of these steroids shit fuck up their sex drive. These guys literally are becoming like these. This army of turbo incels. And it just doesn't make. It's. They're not even in cell. They're vol cell. But it's like so it's. It's fascinating and I. I would be curious to get a more of an understand if I were her to get more of an understanding as to why he even does that. Yeah, we're like, yeah, what are you doing this for?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you got the girl.

[Mark Normand]

You got the girl. Are you competing? Are you? Whatever. Like you know, maybe he does want to do that. Plenty of people want to do like you know, if he wants to be a amateur bodybuilder. Okay, whatever. But yeah, figure it out. Keep it. You know. But the people we love are always gonna have these weird little, you know com. They're gonna. They're gonna belong to weird little subcultures and. And by the way, some gym bros can be toxic, but a lot of them are the nicest guys of all time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, well, they get it out in the gym sometimes.

[Mark Normand]

Some of them are just like nice nerds that a lot of. A lot of the most jacked guys are just kind of like nice nerds, dude. For real.

[Stavros Halkias]

Truly.

[Mark Normand]

That just aren't happen to be jacked. So you know, these guys don't have to be this. This guy doesn't have to be. Seems like you like him. So anyway, hopefully I see you and your muscle bound boyfriend at the. At whatever show on the Dreamboat tour.

[Stavros Halkias]

Here. Here.

[Mark Normand]

Anything you want to plug here, by the way, Mark, in the middle of the show?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh yeah, I'm doing the Ryman theater in Nashville. Big Big. That's in April.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, we'll try and get this April. Let us know when we'll try and time it.

[Stavros Halkias]

April 3rd.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, we'll try and time it for that.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right. No pressure, but yeah, all the dates are on punch up or markdormancomic.com and we got. We might be drunk. Which style has been on. We got Tuesday stories. Which style has been on. So, yeah, we got pods, we got tickets to sell, and, yeah, queef it up and check out. Pace the stage. Salacus and I have made a lot little show, and we'd love you to see it. And, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Are you doing those regularly?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we're gonna do one with a new comic every show. So I did the first one. Then we have Michelle Wolf in the second. I think it's Ronnie Chang. And then from there on.

[Mark Normand]

Awesome. Yeah, check that out. Go see Market the Ryman. See me at the Ryman. I think I'm there probably a few. When am I at the right. Weren't we in Nashville, you know? Nice.

[Stavros Halkias]

You all right?

[Mark Normand]

This episode of Stop His World is brought to you by booking dot com. A booking. Yeah. Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. I'm telling you guys, this whole tour booking.com has been an invaluable resource. We own the tour bus, sure. But sometimes we like to step out. We like to find hotels, we like to find stays. Sometimes we need a place with a kitchen so I can chef up my chicken and peps. You'll see a lot of that on Stavi Gets Ripped season three. We're currently in production of that. Whatever you're looking for, they have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. What are you looking for? You want to go to the mountains? You want to do a little weekend getaway with your family? Because your beautiful family that you love and cherish, they got that for you. Are you a single? Are you a cat about town looking for a more party atmosphere? You can find that, too. Whatever you're looking for, no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay. That's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com, booking. Yeah. All right, well, fuck it. Let's. Let's do another call.

[Caller]

Hey, Stuff. So I'm just calling in because I'm so. I'm a teaching assistant for a professor at my, like, art college.

[Mark Normand]

Oh.

[Caller]

I don't want to tell you, like, too many details. I'm pretty sure that I've got some people in these classes that are watching this show. Like, why wouldn't they? Show rules.

[Mark Normand]

Thank you.

[Caller]

But, yeah, I, like, work for this professor, but, like, lately he's kind of been spending a lot of time trying to woo the married, like, other person that's working in the art department, and it takes up all of his time. He, like, is never there for any of the, like, supervisor meetings. Like, he's just completely blowing off his classes to, like, try to, like, fuck this married girl.

[Mark Normand]

That sucks. And we'll get back to your actual question, but I am shocked he's not fucking a student.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, good point.

[Mark Normand]

Art professor.

[Stavros Halkias]

Point.

[Mark Normand]

You know, it's like, for sure, I thought this was. He's fucking students, and how do I stop this? So, you know, it's not good. He's still trying to coax someone into committing adultery, but just let's keep it going.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good point.

[Caller]

Point. Great girl. And it's like, it drives me up the wall because, like, he does, like, have. Have her, like, pick him up and, like, drop him back off, like, really late at night by the sculpture studio. And I'm just like, what are you doing, man? And why do I have to see it? You know?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And, like, why is it eating in so much into you trying to help me? You know, it's just, like, it really pisses me off. I don't really know what to do about it. And just, like. Like, it just bothers me a lot. And sometimes I'll call them on it.

[Mark Normand]

I will.

[Caller]

I'll be like. I'll be like, wow, you're spending a lot of time with this person. Wonder what's going on there. Like, oh, you have another little rendezvous last night. And it gets really defensive and, like, upset in a way that a guilty person would be. So, yeah, I don't know what the Do I do if, like, the professor I work. Work for is having an affair with someone to the point where he can't do his job, and I'm having to, like, pick up all the pieces for him because, like, both him and the woman he's having an affair with are both my professors.

[Mark Normand]

So it's like, I just.

[Caller]

I feel really stuck. I feel really annoyed. I feel very grossed out and betrayed.

[Mark Normand]

In some ways, that's on you.

[Caller]

Like, I don't know his work that I initially cared about a lot. He doesn't seem to really give a fuck about it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, damn.

[Mark Normand]

These are important. These are honestly very important lessons for you to learn. This is what the world's like. I mean, it's the most cliche. Don't meet your hero. You are in one of the most cliched don't meet your heroes. We're all, you know, we're low level artists, but we're artists, you know, and it is. And you know, you meet people who you did, maybe you looked up to something or you and you, you find out. And this happens to me too, where it's like, I mean, I've definitely made stuff that really matters to people that I didn't care about.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean? Like, or like the things people latch on to. You have. When you create something, you put it out into the world and it's like people have experiences with it, they attach meaning to it. And you're somebody who's being shaken of like, kind of youthful delusion in the real, like in real time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good point.

[Mark Normand]

And this guy, and this is, by the way, what artists are like. And yeah, college professors and artists. You want people who are. I can't think of two, like adults that behave like children more. You know, it's like you just are allowed to be. Especially as an artist who has some, if you have some success, you get away with acting like a.

[Stavros Halkias]

Look at Kanye.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, the guy's wife is naked.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. I think we're past him getting away with it. But yeah, he. It's sad as. I mean, that's. That you're right, though. I mean, 10 years ago, Kanye west was like an artist I admired, of course, the most, like one of my favorite artists of all time. And now it's like brutal what's going on. I mean, brutal. And it's like part of that's mental illness, obviously, but that goes hand in hand. But being selfish, you know, hyper focused on certain things, like, that's kind of how you create good art. He might just be hyper focused on getting slurped off by this lady. And here's the other reality is like, yeah, this is what happens to people who work under powerful people. You spend a lot. You think it's going to be in a perfect world. They're good leaders that set you up for success, but more often than not flows downhill. You know, it's like you. A lot of, A lot of what working for someone is, is picking up the pieces. And it sucks that you have to realize this, this, and this is really brutal. But I would just say kind of use this to your advantage. You could, like, you might be able to get something out of being the person who helps him through having an affair instead of like, there's no justice in the world. So let's start there. The idea that you like something will happen and he will be brought to justice. And like, you know, he might, he might get caught.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean it tends. It usually happens. Happens. He.

[Mark Normand]

Okay, he gets caught. Right. But. But our friend who's calling in here, she's at school now, right? She's a TA for him. Is that what's going on? So it's like he, he might get caught. In a couple years, she'll be out of school. Like her, her experience is just right now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Like that's the reality. Even justice, when it's served doesn't fix going through something up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So you're somebody who's like a collateral damage victim of something that's up never. It's not going to change. And to, to her credit, she seems to sort of understand that. Right. She's not asking for. She's just kind of like exasperated. She doesn't have like any right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like I, I've read her be taking it pretty personally. She's like, it's really up. It bothers me.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm ashamed for him and grossed out. So I think this lady's gotta. I think she looked up to this writer professor guy. So maybe, maybe she's got to detach a little.

[Mark Normand]

Yep.

[Stavros Halkias]

And to piggyback off your point, I do think people, artists are up, obviously. But we prop artists up, we're acting like plumbers and guys who drive bread trucks aren't around on their wife or whatever. So everybody around on their wife, everybody around on their husband. Everybody diddled a kid, everybody drinks on the job, everybody does drugs. Everybody single person from the self checkout.

[Mark Normand]

Every per. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So, so we're all up. But we do prop these people. Oh my God. This guy said this. I looked up. He's such a great professor. You're like, yeah, he's just like a piece of guy.

[Mark Normand]

He's a guy. And, and, but, and you're right. But this, she's also in the classic you. I mean this, this is the most like finding out how the world works experience. Like this is an indie movie right here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

It's like this is a loss of innocence coming of age story.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Julia Stiles.

[Mark Normand]

And so, and so I just think. Yeah, well, Mark says sure. It's like you shouldn't take it personally. Right. This guy is just, he's just some fucking guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

Every artist, no matter how, like that's, that's another thing where you. We, you know, we're lucky to have met pretty much every comedian.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

It's cool. It's cool that this happened to Us. But the thing you learn. And we've worked with a lot of great, like, you know, fucking legends. They're all just some guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

They're all just some guy, right? Everybody. Some fucking. Some lady, some dude. They're all person. And yeah, you. What's important is you realize this is not the experience you thought it was going to be, but you have. But you're still. You're still working for him, right? Working for him is not what it's all cracked up to be, but there's still some prestige. The other thing is, you know this. A lot of the world doesn't know this, right. So the way they look at him hasn't changed. You can still get something out of being a person who worked for him. And also, there might be stuff like, yes, this is not going to be the transformative experience with your art and learning under him that you wanted it to be, but there's still stuff to pick up, you know, and you could also just kind of finesse this to where you're like, you are sort of. You kind of COVID for. He kind of owes you one. Like, that stuff's not bad either. Sure. And I would say just look at it as if he had a drug problem problem or.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's good.

[Mark Normand]

Or he was a drunk or he was just like, whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, this is his vice.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. It's just like, this is a vice that you can't do anything about. And all you can do is. Is like, you are going to pick up the pieces. It's going to be annoying. You thought you went into this thinking you were going to have a great mentor, and it didn't happen. But there will be other mentors. I mean, I remember one time I opened. I won't say who it was. I opened for somebody who I really respected. And, you know, like, we met when I opened for you back in the day, I kind of like this. I was used to good comics liking me. You know what I mean? I just made friends with good comics and I started getting cocky and just thinking, like, oh, you open for someone, you become friends with them, and they put you on the road. And, you know, that's how I met Bobby Papa. You and Joe. Like, that's how I met a lot of my friends now. But I met. I opened for one guy and I was doing. And I was like, I want to crush it. I want him to respect me, because good comics respect that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And. And I even do. This is how cocky I was. I was like, looking. I was on his website Looking at, like, clubs he was going to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Soon I'll go.

[Mark Normand]

And I was like. And I was like, literally, like, yeah, I don't know about this. Like, I'm just like. I'm like, it's my choice.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, that's great.

[Mark Normand]

And I crushed. And I'm like, holy, this guy's gonna. And not only did. And then, like, you know, and I'm like, I'm gonna do my best. Shoot. No around. And, like, you know, he was cool in the green room, whatever. And then he would, like, whisper in, like, when I was. Because, you know, I was featuring. And then I would come off, he'd be standing there. And every time he was nice in every. In the green room, wherever, in those little interactions where it's just me and him. And there he would be like, same stuff again. Whoa. Like, saying like, that.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think I know who it is now.

[Mark Normand]

And in my head, I was like, wow, this guy hates me. In hindsight, I think he was just like, I've also been there where it's like, you don't really want to take a gig. It's Magoobie's joke.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right? Right.

[Mark Normand]

Maybe he hasn't. He's a very successful guy. He was probably working on. He probably wasn't working on. And I've been there, too, where I've been rusty on standup and I'm not sharp. And the last thing I want is, like, someone just. I'm hitting the NOS button, trying to crush. It was probably annoying to have to follow me. And it was. It wasn't like. And artistically, I wasn't trying anything. I wasn't doing. I was just trying to kill, which is what I thought you should do.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would have thought the same thing, you know, and.

[Mark Normand]

But it turned some. Some. Some people. So, anyway, my point is that was weird to me because I had done nothing, but I was really lucky. And, like, you know, some people were fucking rude to me, but they were fucking. They were literally drug addict. Like, a guy with a coke problem was mean to me. But, you know, I knew him, too. We later became friends. Friends. And I had bad experiences, but this was one where I was like, I respected the guy and that. And he said to me in a up way that I couldn't even prove. No one saw it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

And in fact, it was insidious because he was really nice in person.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And just a private kind of like, you know, nobody knows this about this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Right.

[Mark Normand]

You're the one who has to hold this in. And all I can say Is like, that was. That sucked for me. I was lucky where I was like, all right, I'm just gonna, like, never see this guy again. But if I had to work for him, I would have just been like, all right, well, it's not what I thought it was going to be, but I'm sure I can pick some other stuff up. Whatever. This sucks, but I can. The point is, you're right to feel annoyed. It's fucking. It's. It sucks. But that's. Just get ready for more of this. If you're working in the art world, I'll tell you that much, you're not going to meet artists that cheat. Less successful male artists that don't fuck around. Around.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

That ain't happening, sister. But, you know, just. Just make the best of it. What else can you do? Can you sort of. Can you come out on top where he sort of owes you one? You know, whatever. Can you just treat him more as a friend? Like, if your friend was around with somebody, you'd be like, still doing that, huh? But you wouldn't, like, constantly break their balls. They're still your friend, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

And maybe you can use this thing you don't like about this guy as a way to free yourself from. From worshiping him a little. Yes. Not saying you worship him, but, you know, but you look up to him and.

[Mark Normand]

And to understand that you are. You can do. Like that did help me when you would meet people. And it's like, there's nothing inherently that special about this person.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, exactly.

[Mark Normand]

That helped me. And I think that should be able to help you too. But good luck. That sucks. You know, Hit us up if you make paintings. I'm trying to buy art now. I'm an art collector. For real.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Mark Normand]

I will legit, like, buy a painting from a fan. That sounds kind of cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is cool.

[Mark Normand]

I got a. Yeah. Cuz I. I don't. We could talk about later, but it's like, I don't like a lot of materialistic, but I do love art. So it's the one kind of like, thing I want to buy. I don't want to buy, you know, Rolexes. I don't want to buy cars. But cool art, that speaks to me, that is. And. And then you kind of help an artist.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I like that. But it's a good investment too.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know the Segura story?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's similar to yours. So he was opening for Davitel, who was like his hero hero. And they're hanging out in the Green room. And, you know, score's like, I want to kill. I want him to love me. And David tell goes, so what do you want to be? An actor? And Cigar's like, what. What are you talking about? I'm. I'm a comic. And he's like, oh, you just do the same stuff every night. So I figured you just didn't care about this. You're just kind of. And Segura was like, yeah, it just ruined him. And then he had a tell on 12 years later on his pod. He brought that up and it tells. Like I said that?

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't even know you're a guy. What are you talking about? So sometimes people can just say up.

[Mark Normand]

That sticks with.

[Stavros Halkias]

With you.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

And until I had no memory of that at all.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, I'm sure I've. I'm sure we've all been there where it's like you just said a comment you didn't even think about in a green room because you're hungover, you're whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

And you know, I'm sure at the time Mattel hated himself. You know what I mean? Like. Like there's so much that he probably didn't even meet. You know, that just happens.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly.

[Mark Normand]

I don't know. You know, you're probably right. I. I probably am still reading into it too much, but I can't wait.

[Stavros Halkias]

To hear who it is later.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, I'll tell you. Yeah.

[Caller]

You know, I called earlier. I was in a tizzy and I didn't have my question right, so I have a new question for Stav. Stav, you've. You're a man who's gotten some pussy. It seems like you've told some stories and stuff.

[Mark Normand]

Seems like fuck.

[Caller]

In my experience of getting a couple pieces of pussy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pieces of that.

[Caller]

There are girls that are comers and there are girls that are not comers. And you know, some girls just go crazy no matter what. Like, it's like, it's nothing. And then other girls, girls you could be fucking, putting the jackhammer on the pussy, and they just. Nothing will happen. And my question for you, Stav, is if you encounter a girl who's not a comer, how do you make that girl come? Because I really. I really need that as a part of my sexual satisfaction. And apparently the girls that are my type are the non comers. Because every time that I hook up with a girl that, I mean, I'm kind of like, eh, whatever about out. She just goes crazy on it all the time. But every time I'm With a girl.

[Mark Normand]

That I'm like, I really like this girl.

[Caller]

Like, she's so cool. Like, I want this girl to be my gf, not a comer. And it's just, like, it's not satisfying for me.

[Mark Normand]

I need awesome.

[Caller]

I need to see.

[Mark Normand]

See her Freak girls aren't coming. Tragedy, really.

[Caller]

It's a tragedy if I'm getting off three times in a night and then the girl. Girl next to me is only like 0.5 times. Like, you know, I also feel like that's some weird manipulation on the girl's part. Like, I have way more brain chemistry, satisfaction in this interaction than she does. It feels manipulative in a way.

[Mark Normand]

So you're so bad at that. Girls are manipulating you. I mean, that's a crazy little. That's a crazy little bit of.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a good spin.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Acrobatics right there.

[Caller]

Communicate with the girls. But even usually the relationship doesn't last enough to get to that point where they're like, bringing the tools into the sex and stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

Tools. That's a fun way to call it. Vibrator.

[Mark Normand]

Bringing the tools in your implements, your instruments. Yeah, I mean, well, first of all, I'm going to say it might be your whole vibe. Vibe? You don't have a vibe. That makes me want to bust a nut. I don't want to sit back, relax, and not. I will say, if you're. You're coming at it in a net from a negative point of view here, where it's like, I need to see you come or I won't feel good. It's like you're putting all that. And I've definitely, you know, as a younger man, I've kind of felt the same way. You got a bust. I feel like I owe it to you. Whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

But that desperation and that pressure is the worst thing. When a girl has a hard time coming any pressure on her. And your whole vibe is pretty. It's like, you know, you're just. You're just banging. You're like, come on, that's number one. I think this weird. And also, how about you see if they have a good time? You know, because some girls are just like. It might take a couple hookups. It might take them getting comfortable with you. You. And yes, some women just do not quit fast and, you know, salute to them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hallelujah.

[Mark Normand]

But also, something he said about Jack. They're nutting off. Jackhammering. Are you eating? Because if you just mean like, some girls nut off intercourse. That's true. Very nicely.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you.

[Mark Normand]

The end of that one was a little squeaker, dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was moist at the end a little.

[Mark Normand]

And I'm not you. Of all the guys you could do this to, I'm the least squeamish of all time. But that, that little bit of wetness.

[Stavros Halkias]

Got me, dude, this guy got me.

[Mark Normand]

To come s. That's so funny. So, yeah, dude, I would say, like, I literally forgot my train of thought because that, that fart knocked too much pressure.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're right.

[Mark Normand]

Too much pressure. And then also. Yeah, like I was saying, he seems to just be talking about girls who come off intercourse. Right. Or penetration. And certainly that's some of them, but it's like a lot of girls don't. A lot of girls, it's a. It's, you know, some come just off eating, some come off getting finger popped. Some. It's like a mix of the two. Some. It's a mix of all three. You got to kind of do a poo poo. A sexual poo poo platter and get them to bust. But if all you're doing is just. And. And expecting girls to come, that's. It's kind of impressive that it's. You would even put it at 50. 50, I would say.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

Because of the girls that like. To me, it's way more rare to meet a girl that. That comes off intercourse.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Alone, you know, that those are. I would say those are, you know, that's more rare than the non comers at all.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. 70, 30 to clit. I think.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most is. Most is clit. Focus focused. In fact, I. The ones that are like, I, I grew up, I'm the type of. I'm a. I'm more of a finesse player in that if you're a click gal, I'm all, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna get together just fine. But yeah, I have to really pound for a really extended period of time for you to nut. Sure, I can on my good days, but that's not my, you know, go to.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that. Boy, you got to put her on top.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do the work there, right?

[Mark Normand]

Sure, sure. But yes. So that's the thing. Be less. Be less sort of desperate for them to nut. And if you're not, try eating more. Not just, not just, you know, not just pounding. Not just penetration. You know, get a couple different moves in your arsenal. You know, you can't just always put your head down and go straight for the bucket. Sometimes you gotta shoot a three pointer, right? Call a play, get a, you know, Pick and roll. Get your teammate involved. The tools, the sex stuff, all that stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good point. Two things on this. It's kind of. I. I hear what he's saying about the girl he doesn't like.

[Mark Normand]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

He can get her off. Which goes to your point. It's like a. You never do a bad show, and you're like, who gives a. You're loose, you're riffing, you're going here, you're going there. But if it's a TV taping, you're like, oh, you're stiff. And you don't kill as well because you're not loose.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So I totally get that. I have a thing called Madonna syndrome. Have you heard of this?

[Mark Normand]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's where you can't get it up.

[Mark Normand]

If you like Dennis Rodman.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wedding dress. That's an old reference, but Kim Jong. Oh. So if I like my wife, I was really into her. I really liked her. I was like. We had great chemistry. We had great compatibility, and I couldn't get it up. So I had to take Bluechew. But then I would bang some. Some fat pig on the road, and I was like, Peter North. Yeah. Because I didn't give a. I wasn't in my head.

[Mark Normand]

I'm with you. That I actually have had that happen.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really?

[Mark Normand]

Where it's like, the first time I hook up with somebody that I actually like. I'm nervous, my dick is soft. It took, like. Yeah. Like the last. The last two girls I dated that happened with. So, yeah. I think there's something to that. Okay. The pressure thing, even the pressure of caring.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it's the irony, because the girl's like, you don't like me? And you're like, no, I actually really love you because.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, this is because I like you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. So I would always pop blue chews like a. Like a drug addiction addict, you know, in the bathroom. And she's like, what's. Why is your tongue blue? And I'm like, a mint. You know, you gotta do that whole thing.

[Mark Normand]

But had some fun dip.

[Stavros Halkias]

But. Yeah. It just goes to show, if you could shut it down with the girls you like, if you just chill out and realize that, hey, I'm a little in my head here. The pressure's on. Maybe that'll help with the. The coming.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And I think ultimately the answer here is. And he says the relationship doesn't get to the point where they would bring out a tool. Like, you just have to somebody a couple times to kind of really get the hang of it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Get the ring Rhythm.

[Mark Normand]

And it's like you might have just hit, you might have just been on a lucky streak of hitting a couple girls in a row that bust fast.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know, you'll hit a cold streak of that too. You know what I mean? So just focus. If you like somebody, focus. Ultimately, as sex is very important, but ultimately like, you know, I. Both of us couldn't get hard with women that we dated and they, they stuck around. So it's like power through a couple awkward encounters. If you have, if you have real chemistry that will shine through and event. The real problem is. Yeah, you'll just figure it out the more you hook up with somebody, in my opinion.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hear, hear.

[Mark Normand]

Good luck. Even though, again, your vibes were a little off putting.

[Stavros Halkias]

It reminds me of when I was younger. If sex always felt like I, I.

[Mark Normand]

Felt what he's talking about where it's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like I have to make her come.

[Mark Normand]

Before I come, cuz then I don't want to look like I, I'm going to bust so fast. It's like if she doesn't come before I put my dick in toast.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And then, and then eventually like. All right, well look lady, my neck's getting sore. I can't. I know I'm not staying hard much.

[Stavros Halkias]

Longer, so my fingers hurt.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah, yeah, we gave it the old college try, huh?

[Caller]

Esteemed guests. Love the show, love the energy. Love you boys. All right, so I'm 35, been married like eight years, together with the lady for almost a decade.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Caller]

Right. My whole life I've been a real skinny guy. Tall, gangly, motherfucking look like a giraffe. Right. Meanwhile, my wife, college athlete, D1 sports, always in shape, always real fit. Recently, right, like six months ago, started hitting the gym. Been tracking my macros. Honestly, I'm up almost £30. I look good, damn near all muscle. Frankly, I look great rate. Now in that same time frame, my wife you got pregnant. Hey, I think I know where you're going with this. And you're wrong. Right. I would never cheat on my wife. She's the light of my world. I fell in love with her when we, when I frankly looked like a war torn refugee.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Caller]

So the real question here is how do I convince my wife she's so beautiful, Help her understand I'm so thankful for putting her body through this shit. Right. I need her to know that her identity has been tied up in being athletic and fit. The whole process eaten her up. And so how do I help her know that she, she's, she's Good on this, right? Like, do I stop getting fit? She's been going after me for a while to get healthy. Do I stop doing that? We made decision to get pregnant together. So how do I communicate to her that just how wonderful, beautiful she is while she's dealing with all of this and her new identity in all of it?

[Mark Normand]

Interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love you guys.

[Caller]

Love the show.

[Stavros Halkias]

I wanted to hate this guy because he's like, I look great. And then he turned out to be the sweetest. I take it all back. This guy's a gem.

[Mark Normand]

Yes. Yeah, this is cute. I like this guy for sure. I think, you know, you're, you're the expert here on a. Your wife was recently.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm right in the thick of this.

[Mark Normand]

So do you have anything you want to jump in? I have my own thoughts, but from a guy who's truly experiencing it, what do you.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think my wife keeps saying like, you know, because they do sacrifice the body.

[Mark Normand]

Like it's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Women love babies, but they're Chris Brown. They your up the scarring, the nipples are all ruined. The, the tits are weird, whatever. So these kids are evil. What they do to women's bodies. Horrible. They should be put in jail. But you gotta lay it on thick, cuz women, you know, women want to look good normally. And so this is like, hey, they sacrifice their body and they're going to have a few extra pounds that they got to melt away and all this. So yeah, just lay it on thick. Put the arms around her, keep your hands on her, like, keep showing affection, keep pouring out the compliments and point out every day like, whoa, you lost a little more today because my wife just keeps shrinking down slowly and you got to keep acknowledging it. Show her, her that you're aware of it and show her that you're like on board and rooting for and supporting her and just keep it up.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So that's it.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And I think overall it's like just general support because it's like, yes, some of this is her body and her whatever, but also and her identity. You said of being athletic and, and I, I first of all say, I wouldn't say don't, don't get on, don't stop being fit. But no, I mean that's, you're not helping her by doing that. Especially if this is something she always wanted you to do. But you know, you can make it more of a partner thing when after the baby comes out, you could hit the gym together. You've been tracking your macros. Maybe you can kind of Be on a little health journey together if she wants that. Right. I would just say overall from seeing, you know, I've had a few people in my life. Like I said, my sister in law just had a kid, my brother. I have had a couple good friends have kids recently. And just like kind of observing a few different instances of this, it's like, yeah, definitely how they look is part of it. But also it's just like, it's just a ordeal overall.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

So just being support like, you know, and who knows, you're some. Some women want to get right back in the gym. Your wife might not want to. You know what I mean? Like she might want and what. And it's. You seem cool with whatever she decides. And I think it's more than the physical or just as much as the physical. It's a lot of mental strength. This baby is gonna be on like.

[Stavros Halkias]

And no sleep, no sex, no.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. Just like it's in like a baby's obsessed with its mom for like at least the first year. And it's like, can go nowhere. You know, she can do nothing. And so just being supportive of her and like making her feel so she's not overwhelmed, all this kind of stuff. I think keeping her happy in general will also just help with the body stuff too because it's just like if you're already kind of sad, bad, and then you just like, oh, and I look like. It's like if you're feeling good and then you're like, ah, you know, I got it, I gotta start. Really. Once I feel a little better, I'm gonna hit the gym. That's easier than like, I want to kill myself. Then you glimpse in the mirror, you're like, I want to do it right now. You know, so just keep the level of happiness, keep the support, whatever your wife needs, just kind of be there. And just like, you seem to have the right attitude. Yeah, this guy's a sweet guy. I think you're gonna be fine. We've had real pieces of call this show before.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you can't have sex for six weeks after pregnancy or after birth. And so I've been doing a countdown. I can't wait. Oh man, this many days now. I think make it fun. Like stuff like that home show, like you're dying a. You can't wait. And you got to think women, they're. They're saints for what they do with the body. Because imagine if your dick was different after you had a kid. You'd be like, I'm never having a Kid. Yeah, but they still do it and you got to give it to them.

[Mark Normand]

Damage to my dick. I couldn't. I couldn't stand any of it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Mark Normand]

Oh, that's brutal. But yeah, Good luck, little buddy. You're going to be fine.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark Normand]

What else we got? Eldis.

[Caller]

Hi. I wanted to know how long is it acceptable to be an adult late bloomer, like one of the cutoff dates, so to speak. I'm 33 years old. I've been working in my trade career for 15 years and I'm successful in spite stable. My dilemma is I'm the breadwinner in my four year long relationship. I'm having a hard time processing that I'll possibly be the breadwinner and head hold of my head of my household forever if I decide to marry my boyfriend. I've grown up with the mentality that I was never supposed to have that position. I grew up in a Hispanic household, so it's the man's job to do all of this. My boyfriend is the nicest, kind, kindest, most thoughtful person I've ever been with. He makes me want to be a better person. But it's been wearing on me because financially I carry all the weight with the bills, everything financially. And my boyfriend has been in his career for almost 10 years and within the last four, he decided to go on his own and work for himself. I've given up on having a family to do it alone. And when I had an epiphany about this, I thought, if I can't even have a family, maybe we can do trips. And we can't even do that because he can't afford it. And I don't make a big deal about any of this to him because when we talked about it, he's expressed that it makes him feel emasculated.

[Mark Normand]

No, no, no, no, no, no. You're not making him feel emasculated. He's a loser. It's like being like, yeah, like feeling. He's like, you know, when I tell my, when I tell my boyfriend, I don't like it when he shits his pants. It makes, it makes him feel like he's stinky and dirty. It's like, yeah, he's third. I mean, let's finish it. But that's crazy.

[Caller]

So I'm now at the point that if I want to travel and do things, I can only pay for myself. And am I a. If I, I want to go on trips alone because he can't pay his own way.

[Mark Normand]

Oh my God.

[Caller]

Or the way That I want to travel in the standard that I have. So I want to know how men handle these types of situations when they are providers. Is that the type of, Is that type of mentality changing as well? Thanks.

[Mark Normand]

Interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Very interesting. Well, that's what I love about feminism. Now she sees what it's like to be the sole provider. It's not easy.

[Mark Normand]

But. But, so, so the. But see, you would never. And I, I agree. Right. Like, first of all, the whole, like you were raised to never have to be this way. Like, that's ball. In my opinion, I would be fine if my wife, you know, whatever. Like, luckily, you know, life's going in a way where I'm doing fine, doing very well financially. But I, you know, if my wife was more successful than me, that wouldn't emasculate me.

[Stavros Halkias]

No. No way.

[Mark Normand]

If I had my own shit going. Knowing. Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

Saying he feels emasculated is kind of up.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a cop out.

[Mark Normand]

It's a huge cop out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gaslighting. In a way it is.

[Mark Normand]

Because what he feels is he's a failure. And he is. And it's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

But would you say that to a woman who's broke and the guy is making all the money?

[Mark Normand]

Well, it depends.

[Stavros Halkias]

A failure.

[Mark Normand]

Well, here's, here's what I want to know. Right? They're working two jobs where they're both working. Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Mark Normand]

Is she also the homemaker?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good question.

[Mark Normand]

Because if this guy, if this guy does like, okay, let's say I was, I was. I had a wife, whatever. And because of how, Mike, because I'm the head of, you know, my career is going good, if the expectations are, hey, I really am taking care of this, you don't have to work, but might as well, you know, not. It's. It's not that I, I'm old fashioned or anything, but like, you're here, why don't you just take care of all this?

[Stavros Halkias]

Like doing this, you do that.

[Mark Normand]

Yeah. And if that's. And, and then, hey, if you want to have your little small business business on the side, great. But I take care of this, you take care of that. And if she did that, I wouldn't say like, you're lazy or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

I agree. I agree.

[Mark Normand]

But if this guy's, if this guy wants to be treated like the head of the household, but he's a fucking failure and he says he feels emasculated, that he can't have it both ways.

[Stavros Halkias]

He can't have it both ways.

[Mark Normand]

I don't Think there's anything. I think if he was the type of guy you said he's the kind of sweetest, whatever guy you've been with. If he was the kind of guy who's like, hey, I'll do the domestic shit. I don't care if he was the kind of guy who's like that and he's like, I'll make your life easier. You're the breadwinner. I'll save, you know, I'll do. To save us some money so that we can like, you know, get. Do these vacations or the simpler thing is, like, if he was like, look, my job is not work. Like, I tried going to. I gave it to college try. Yep, it's not working. Just go get a hourly job and make some money. If this guy's doing. If these guys bring zero in, he might as well well be at home cleaning or whatever, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

So. But what's interesting about this is so I would just take out the. I'm not raised to be this way. This is a matter of like, you know, I think it's fine if a woman is the head of the household if the other. What this really is is two people in a relationship and one person is contributing so much that it's starting to make her feel that. That it's used. Yeah, Used and resentful and. And by the way, not only are you contributing so much, but it's like you. Now you're losing. I mean, when you said, I've accepted I can't have a family, we all got sad.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's horrible. Can't even go on a trip either.

[Mark Normand]

And it's like. It's like, that's nuts. If that's what you want, that's crazy. And then you feel guilty and he goes for the cop out of emasculation. We need to know a little bit more about this business. Working for himself shit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, right.

[Mark Normand]

Like, because again, that could just be. Be from what we know. I mean, this is not, you know, you can't be in this relationship. Like. Cause you've said it makes him feel emasculated. But you have to just be like, look, I'm not trying to make you feel emasculated. This is not about. It's just like, we just. I just want certain things out of my life. And, you know, I've been support. You've also been supportive of him for four years. He's trying to get his business off the ground. Like, if I was married to somebody, somebody, and I was like, I have to go try comedy. And she supported me for five years and nothing was going on. I wouldn't be like, stop talking to me about having kids. I'm trying to work on this real. Once this reel goes viral, I'm selling tickets. Right. I wouldn't do that. I would be like, you know what? I gave it a shot. Time to go work at a Home Depot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean? Time to go. Go to Best Buy. Who gives a song? So, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Also, why isn't this guy uncomfortable? If my girl was paying for everything and she was like, I want to go on a trip, but you don't have any money, I'd be like, oh, you're right, I suck. I'll go get a job. I'll ask my mom for 500 bucks. We can go to Greece or whatever it is. Why is this guy not freaking out?

[Mark Normand]

I actually, when you say that, I think that's probably why she mentions the. Like, I was not raised because this guy might be trying to have it both ways.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

He might be comfortable because, like, what? Well, I'm the fucking head of the household. What I say goes.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm the guy.

[Mark Normand]

You know what I mean? Like, I'm the guy. So, hey, we gotta support my dreams. Meanwhile, this woman could be having a great. Like, you clearly love this person. This is difficult.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

But you also can't sacrifice your life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

And it's like, you don't believe in him. It'd be one thing if you were like, he's been working for himself. He works so hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Mark Normand]

He's got this great idea. I'm here. Like. But you don't. You think he's fucking. And he probably is fucking lazy. Right. All this guilt. And I would say the same way we say, let yourself go. Let, you know, shed that. Like, I came up this way feeling about where the. What the woman should do for your. Like, and just look at it as two people. That's how he has to treat it, too. He has to just shed that if he's. If he thinks you need to support him. That's fucking ridiculous.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

The person who's supporting the family gets the support. Right? Like, yes. And if he wants you to fucking listen to what he has to say, then he has to do better than you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And if you want to go on a trip and he can't go, go. And he should be like, you're right, I can't afford it. That's on me.

[Mark Normand]

But once you start doing that, it's like, well, sure, what are we Even doing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Mark Normand]

Of course. You're in your mid-30s and you're taking a vacation without your girlfriend.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And it's not like someone's. If that's not a bachelor party or something. It's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mark Normand]

That's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's crazy.

[Mark Normand]

Like, can you imagine going on a vacation without your wife? Like, I mean. No. You have to have a really serious job where you. You get high in a bus with your best friend.

[Stavros Halkias]

Bus for three months.

[Mark Normand]

Totally different. Totally different. But, yeah. Anyway, this is. And I just feel for her because she's just like. So. She's like. So, like, she's guilty. She's guilty for. I mean, dude, I'm going to be thinking about. I've accepted I can't have a family. You're. That's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know.

[Mark Normand]

You, you, you.

[Stavros Halkias]

This.

[Mark Normand]

That's the point of. If you want to. Look, some people don't have a family. Great. You clearly want a family.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

And the whole point of dating is to find the right person to have a family with. So if he's the kind of guy who you can't have a family with, he's not the guy. And you want. And that's very important to you. He can't even fucking swing a weekend in fucking Cancun, let alone a fucking family. Like, that's crazy. And. And the emasculation is a cop out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like.

[Mark Normand]

And this is coming from people who have all been broke, who have all been chasing a dream. Whatever. It's like, I definitely have been in relationships where I didn't have any money and I tried to make up for it in other ways.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course. Of course.

[Mark Normand]

And he's just. He is comfortable. You clearly kind of are too supportive of him, in my opinion. Just. I don't know. We don't know enough of it. But just the bare facts of. Doesn't pull his own weight. Makes you feel guilty about bringing it up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep.

[Mark Normand]

And you can't get the basic things you want out of life. I think you're at the point of seriously considering moving on, as hard as that is, or having one final. You could have one final conversation and say, look, I want these things. I really love you. We're very compatible in so many ways. But I'm getting older. I want a family. I want to be able to. And like, because he's essentially choosing chasing whatever dream his own business is over, providing those things for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mark Normand]

That's essential when it boils down to. Is that. So you can say, look, if you. You got to get a fucking. You got to get back to getting a real job or, or you know, finding, you know, doing the housekeeping, whatever. Or we have kids and you take care of the child care.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because I'm working. Right.

[Mark Normand]

Like whatever it is, you have to have that conversation. If he says he feels a massive, then you have to say like, I'm really sorry if that's how you feel. Because I need. These are non negotiables in my life.

[Stavros Halkias]

There you go.

[Mark Normand]

Because you're sacrificing these things and for what? Just kindness is the baseline. Like maybe she had some shitty relationships before this because she's saying he's the kindest guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right? Right.

[Mark Normand]

That's just, that's the baseline for let's default. That's not, not like you can't lead with how nice a guy is. He's gotta. Everybody should be not. Your boyfriend should be nice to you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right? You know, like this guy's got a live one because he's like, oh, I'm getting all this for free. I don't have to do any work. I'm working on my business. He probably selling baseball cards on ebay or some. And if she brings it up, he's like, up, don't emasculate me. And she's like, oh, you're right. That's how I was raised. Was the man does this. So he's got it made, this guy. And that's why she's got to get out. Because this guy is totally taking advantage. Advantage.

[Mark Normand]

And this goes the other way too. Like if the role, like truly this is about what, whoever's in a relationship, you can't be taken advantage of or like, you know what I mean? If, if somebody is like, if the man was the, the, the provider and the woman was just like not doing. Or like you're also not getting anything out of it right now. You know, it's like. And it's like. And ultimately it's case by case. Everybody has to decide what's good for them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Mark Normand]

Right. But if you want these things and he can't give them to you, then, then what's the fucking point of being in this relationship?

[Stavros Halkias]

Hear, hear.

[Mark Normand]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Mark Normand]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Mark Normand]

Damn that I'm sad. Now, elders, let's end on something funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Hey, Stravi. Me and my husband are really big fans of your show.

[Mark Normand]

Thank you.

[Caller]

I just. This isn't a question, but I just wanted to dump some information. I just finished watching your latest podcast with Kate on it, and you guys had an interesting thing about being cremated. I'm not a cremator. However, my client that I work on, I'm a hairdresser. She works in cremation, and she gave me some valuable information about cremation. She let me know that this is.

[Stavros Halkias]

I didn't smell this.

[Caller]

This is what she said. That plus size people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh.

[Caller]

Smell delicious.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's great. That's great.

[Mark Normand]

Hell yeah, dude. Fat people smell delicious when you cremate them. That's awesome.

[Caller]

Delicious when it's getting done. This is not what I said. This is what she said. She said they smell either of a range of bacon.

[Mark Normand]

Marshmallow. I just thought that was for you.

[Caller]

Just an interesting fun fact. I hope you guys are having a great day and a great vibe.

[Mark Normand]

Thank you. That is a good, fun fact. Amazing bacon. I could. That's what I would have guessed is like a fatty cut of meat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Mark Normand]

Marshmallow. Some.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that's all. Yeah, that's all. The Sour Patch Kids and Hershey bars. You know, it's just sugar. Sugar.

[Mark Normand]

Holy. That's crazy. That's crazy to me that you would work at a crematorium or whatever and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, right.

[Mark Normand]

I want to go get a. I want to go make some s'mores.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love the smell of fatties in the morning.

[Mark Normand]

That is awesome. That is a beautiful little thing to go out on. You know, that's what fat people provide a sir. You know, even on the way out, everyone's having a nice time around a fat guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, you ever do Minneapolis, you can smell the. There's like, Bisquick is from there or some. Or General Mills, I think is from there. So you smell cereal in the distance.

[Mark Normand]

Wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Have the crematorium in, like, the. You know, the fatter cities in America, the Cleveland or the Vegas. Put the. Put the ovens out there or the. The chimneys. Let's get a whiff.

[Mark Normand]

Let's get a whiff when it's fatties. All right, well, thank you. Thanks for the calls, Mark. Thanks for being here, buddy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you. Hot dog.

[Mark Normand]

Congratulations on the beat. Yeah, congratulations. Congratulations on the baby and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, it's in the car. Damn it.

[Mark Normand]

Go see Mark live, listen to all the pods and see us on the Dreamboat tour. We'll talk to you next time. Bye bye.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you.

[Mark Normand]

Hello, it is Ryan. And we could all use an extra bright spot in our day, couldn't we? Just to make up for things like sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps. You know, all the mundane stuff. That is why I'm such a big fan of Chumba Casino. Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino style games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere with daily bonuses that should brighten your day a little. Actually, a lot. So sign up now@chumbac casino.com. that's chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary.

[Stavros Halkias]

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