#126 - Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano

Summary

Stavvy's World Episode #126 - Yannis Pappas and Chris DiStefano

Release Date: April 28, 2025

Host: Stavros Halkias

In this episode of Stavvy's World, host Stavros Halkias reunites with his friends Yannis Pappas and Chris DiStefano for an engaging and humorous discussion covering a wide array of topics, from cultural dynamics and personal anecdotes to the challenges of balancing family life with a career in comedy. The conversation is punctuated with insightful and comedic moments, making it both informative and entertaining for listeners.

---

1. Reunion and First Impressions

The episode kicks off with a warm welcome as Stavros introduces Yannis and Chris returning to the couch, highlighting their camaraderie and playful banter.

• Stavros Halkias [01:18]: "Wow, what a beautiful couch. Today, two of our favorites united on the couch."

2. Cultural Dynamics: Greeks and Albanians

A significant portion of the conversation delves into the cultural relationship between Greeks and Albanians, exploring stereotypes, social hierarchies, and mutual perceptions.

• Yannis Pappas [02:06]: "But I like that you still. It's still Baltimore because it's really nice. But the whole outfit was bought at Old Navy."

• Stavros Halkias [02:51]: "Greeks are Arabs. That's why they do the snake noise."

The trio humorously discusses the infamous "snake noise" associated with expressing disapproval among Greeks, attributing it to cultural similarities with Arab expressions. They further explore the societal positioning of Albanians within Greek communities, often perceived as the "criminal class" yet making strides towards acceptance.

• Stavros Halkias [05:03]: "It's like Jersey. Are you Philly or New York suburb? Albania."

3. Scandal Involving a Greek Orthodox Priest

One of the episode's highlights is the detailed discussion about a scandal involving a high-ranking Greek Orthodox priest, Father George Pasillas, who was caught in a controversial affair with Ethel Bouzalas.

• Stavros Halkias [19:30]: "Apparently, father Pasillas is not in an isolated monastery. Self-flagellating instead, he went to his daughter's home in Chicago."

The guests dissect the fallout of the scandal, including the priest's suspension, his inappropriate behavior, and the repercussions within the church community. They critique the church's handling of misconduct, comparing it to celebrity scandals.

• Giannis Pappas [22:46]: "Ethel Bouzales... She also became a church treasurer and signatory on bank accounts."

4. Education Choices and Parenting

The conversation shifts to the complexities of choosing the right education for children, particularly the decision to send kids to Catholic schools. Yannis shares his personal struggles with frequent relocations and the financial constraints influencing his decision.

• Giannis Pappas [14:53]: "I just couldn't do it. I'm getting to buy back in at the absolute worst time."

They discuss the impact of religious schooling on children's social development and relationships, highlighting both benefits and unintended consequences.

• Stavros Halkias [16:13]: "There's nothing wrong that comes of Catholic school. Who do you know the way the gather school."

5. Life as a Comedian and Touring Challenges

Stavros and Chris delve into the demanding life of touring comedians, balancing performances with family responsibilities. They reflect on the exhaustion and mental strain that comes with constant travel and the pursuit of success in the comedy world.

• Chris DiStefano [43:15]: "This could be a posthumous release. Yeah, yeah, yeah."

• Stavros Halkias [46:25]: "I'm looking forward to the decline, brother."

6. Listener Questions: Relationship Advice and Career Burnout

The episode includes interactive segments where listeners call in with personal dilemmas. Two primary questions are addressed:

a. Relationship Spicing Up

A listener seeks advice on how to reignite passion in his marriage. The guests humorously suggest unconventional methods to "spice things up," blending comedic exaggeration with underlying truths about communication and effort in relationships.

• Giannis Pappas [62:07]: "Put your wife, that's how she wants to get you."

b. Career Burnout in Healthcare

An ER doctor from Baltimore expresses feelings of professional burnout due to the stressful nature of his job. The discussion emphasizes the importance of addressing mental health, considering career changes, and finding personal fulfillment outside of demanding careers.

• Chris DiStefano [78:38]: "I'm starting to feel some professional burnout."

• Stavros Halkias [90:00]: "You can't be in the ER forever."

7. Cultural Identity and Language Insecurity

In response to a listener's struggle with feeling "not Greek enough" despite a strong cultural upbringing, the guests offer insights into embracing one's heritage while acknowledging the challenges of maintaining linguistic and cultural connections in a diaspora.

• Stavros Halkias [108:16]: "Don't feel insecure about it. I think Greek people love Greek people."

• Giannis Pappas [113:56]: "I'm sure she's probably just, like, bitching at him like, that they don't have enough."

8. Conclusion and Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with a humorous exchange about cultural misunderstandings, the complexities of ethnic identities, and the enduring bonds within the Greek and Albanian communities. The friends encourage listeners to embrace their heritage, seek personal growth, and find humor in life's challenges.

• Stavros Halkias [120:14]: "He had the worst BO I've ever smelled in my life."

• Chris DiStefano [122:13]: "I mean, this guy had personality. He's an amazing, wild character from history."

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Stavros Halkias [02:51]: "Greeks are Arabs. That's why they do the snake noise."

• Giannis Pappas [14:53]: "I just couldn't do it. I'm getting to buy back in at the absolute worst time."

• Chris DiStefano [43:15]: "This could be a posthumous release. Yeah, yeah, yeah."

• Giannis Pappas [62:07]: "Put your wife, that's how she wants to get you."

• Stavros Halkias [90:00]: "You can't be in the ER forever."

---

Insights and Conclusions

This episode of Stavvy's World offers a blend of humor and candid discussions on serious topics. The intricate exploration of cultural identities between Greeks and Albanians sheds light on the nuances of immigrant experiences and community dynamics. The scandal involving a Greek Orthodox priest serves as a critique of institutional responses to misconduct, drawing parallels to broader societal issues.

The personal stories shared by Yannis and Chris about balancing family life with demanding careers in comedy and medicine underscore the universal challenges of maintaining personal well-being amidst professional pressures. Listener interactions provide relatable scenarios that spark both laughter and thoughtful reflection, demonstrating the show's commitment to addressing real-life problems with a comedic twist.

Overall, Episode #126 serves as a testament to the enduring friendship and dynamic chemistry between Stavros, Yannis, and Chris, offering listeners a rich and engaging narrative that is both entertaining and insightful.

Transcript

[Stavros Halkias]

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[Chris DiStefano]

You pick a McDouble or a McChicken.

[Stavros Halkias]

Then get a small fry, a small.

[Chris DiStefano]

Drink and a four piece McNuggets.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money.

[Chris DiStefano]

Prices and Participation may vary.

[Stavros Halkias]

McDouble meal, $6 in some markets for.

[Giannis Pappas]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Giannis Pappas]

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[Chris DiStefano]

Go to cittercity.com xx and get the help you need.

[Stavros Halkias]

Welcome Everybody to Stavi's World 904-800-Call- in. We'll solve all your problems. Wow, what a beautiful couch. Today, two of our favorites united on the couch. Reunited again, the history hyenas themselves. Put that down.

[Giannis Pappas]

Sorry, I was doing.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, stop. Blur these out, Eldis.

[Giannis Pappas]

Sorry, dude.

[Chris DiStefano]

I could tell.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know what? I love you all. I feel good about being here. I was excited to come and I could tell Eldis was excited that we were coming because he's dressed like Elizabeth Holmes from Theranos.

[Stavros Halkias]

Elvis is an all black and a turtleneck. You guys don't even see the pants. He's looking Parisian. Parisian today. I mean he literally looks like that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Female CEO got arrested.

[Chris DiStefano]

I thought I was coming here to do yoga. He looks like a very granola yoga guy.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah, I was just feeling they want to dress up for a couple classy guys.

[Giannis Pappas]

But I like. But I like that you still. It's still Baltimore because it's really nice. But the whole outfit was bought at Old Navy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes, you did look like An Albanian poet, very popular. You do?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

By the way, have you ever figured. Figured out what. Why the Greeks do the snake noise? Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I didn't know what that was.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know. As a way to express strong disapproval. Oh, I see. I see. Like, you go. Well, it goes back to the thing. And I think we talked about this last time. And I've talked. I put it in my last special, but it's like Greeks are Arabs. That's why.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, like that.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's like a real, like. See, like, they'll even say, like. Like I've heard Greek will say. Which just sounds Arabic. I don't know what it means. I think it's a great. And it's like, to show displeasure. It's like. Which feels very, like, desert person, very Arab. And I've said that, like, we truly. The best parts of Greek culture, like, all the food is just like. We put our little spin on a bunch of Arabic shit.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right, right, right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, Turkish coffee.

[Chris DiStefano]

But it's a Greek coffee.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, Greek coffee.

[Chris DiStefano]

Can't call it a turkey. Let's not get crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's not get crazy. Right? I mean, Turks.

[Giannis Pappas]

The mortal enemy is the Turks, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

What about the Albanians?

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, no, they're more the criminal class of our country.

[Giannis Pappas]

Are they like your migrants? Yeah, exactly. Literally.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Although now it's been so long that I do feel like Albanians are sort of at the. In the Greek caste system.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of undesirable Eastern Europeans. Albanians. I feel like now you kind of have. You've kind of clawed to the. Near the top.

[Eldis Haza]

Well, it's taken thousands of years, but we're passing you on the escalator.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're not passing us. Let's not get insane here. You just got debit cards last year. You're not passing us.

[Chris DiStefano]

I remember that turtleneck got you acting arrogant. Yeah, basically. You know, like when a black guy goes and buys Alexis. That's a Albanian right there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which, by the way, shirt, no shirt, same amount of coverage on his neck. Whether it's turtle, turtleneck or not, dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

Albanians are sneaking in everywhere. Now. My family went out to this new restaurant in our neighborhood the other. Other day, and we thought it was like, you know, it's Italian.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Food, Right. Italian place. And we really enjoying the food. Like, everyone's eating. And then my mom, the owner, came over and was nice. Oh, welcome to my new place. Whatever. And my mom was like, what part of Italy are you from? And we're all eating. And he was like, oh, I'm actually Albanian. And like the whole table, it's like. I saw one of my cousins just stopped cutting his meat and kind of everyone kind of just looked at him. We were like, check, please. But the food was excellent.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, well, Albanians, I. That's the thing that they. They're between Greece and Italy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Got it.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it's like Albanians basically choose. Are you going to be. It's the way, like, it's the way. Jersey. Are you Philly or Philly or New York suburb?

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Albania. It's like, are you a Greek, Albanian or Italian? Albanian.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

So you guys are just like that little chunk of the Jersey shore, like right in the middle where you walk and the Philly hats start to turn to giants hats. Albania.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. Yeah, I'm right about that, right? Elders, is there Where? What else borders it? The ocean, obviously.

[Eldis Haza]

Is Turkey on the border? I feel like.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, Turkey's on the other way.

[Chris DiStefano]

You Turkey.

[Eldis Haza]

I think there's a lot of. I think there's a lot of admiration for the Italian mob, what they've done with mafias.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Eldis Haza]

So there's like a real meathead aspiration to that and probably like more. But that's like more one sided because I feel like Italy just doesn't give that much of a about them. There's more like discourse both ways where like, right. Albanians, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Haza]

Dislike and like each other a little more. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And there's a lot of Albanians that are Muslim.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Eldis Haza]

There's a big Muslim population that's technically the majority religion.

[Chris DiStefano]

Whoa.

[Giannis Pappas]

But not you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, it's in his blood though.

[Giannis Pappas]

It is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Communism stamped it out. But Elvis is half. You do kind of Albano Muz.

[Giannis Pappas]

He does away like with that beard. You do have a little bit of hijack face.

[Chris DiStefano]

I've been saying.

[Eldis Haza]

I've been seeing a lot of those Family Guy Muslim videos on Instagram.

[Stavros Halkias]

He really watches them, I think for conversion.

[Chris DiStefano]

For real.

[Stavros Halkias]

No. Eldest. I could totally see you going muzz at the end of your life.

[Chris DiStefano]

For real.

[Giannis Pappas]

One more of these Trump executive orders gets through, you're converting.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would be fucking awesome. I could see eldest pulling some weird shit. Like Elvis has stopped talking about, like he would talk about going into the army. Up until like six months ago. He kept being like, I just think the discipline would be good for me.

[Eldis Haza]

It's like, you have always regretted that I never enlisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

He couldn't play middle school basketball. He's been this height since we were 11 and he's think he could do the army.

[Giannis Pappas]

I love that Eldis is like I'm going to go into the army. But then he comes in dressed like Jane Lynch.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, dude, you look like a disgraced Greek Orthodox priest.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is true.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, he just took the collar off.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, well, there's an article about.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just relax. The Catholics are the priest. Our priests get the women.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's true.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's how you. Thank you. All right, first of all, how can you respect a man who doesn't get pussy? I'm gonna tell this guy my secrets. This. This guy doesn't. And I'm gonna seek counsel from him. He's 58 years old and just like, maybe fingered a girl once in high school. And he's telling me what to do about my marriage. No. A Greek Orthodox priest.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

He is confi. He has to. He can't. Around. He has to. Like. He chose his wife. I listened to him. He's. It's also funny to think about your priest just like, laying it down.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, our priests have kids. Yeah, it's fucking hilarious.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, I didn't realize that. So Greek author has full rights. So the thing is priests. We can't have priests. Catholic priests.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm gonna, you know, I have to start. Sorry. I'm going on tour. I have to start writing down bits that I think have legs. And I think. I think, you know, how am I going to respect the priest that doesn't get pussy? I think. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, it's also. It's also like a nice start making notes of this.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm not. I have my guests here.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Get a word doc. Together.

[Chris DiStefano]

Get to work, Caffeir boy.

[Eldis Haza]

Yes, sir, Mr. Halcy.

[Chris DiStefano]

House Albanian house servant. Get to work. It's also a nice strong hint that the priest is, you know, not. Doesn't have any boys. That's. When there's a woman.

[Stavros Halkias]

You do not have a boy culture. Yeah, there is not. If anything, I think our priests have a little more of the. Like, is he gonna. A grown woman? Like a little bit more of the like. Because we had. I remember what they'll do sometimes for. For priests. And I don't know where you went to what your. What your church was like. Yanni. But when we were growing up, they would sometimes at, you know, we had. I went to St Nicholas in Baltimore and we had a priest that he wanted to move out to the suburbs, whatever. And so they were kind of sending us like priests straight from Greece to kind of like train in America and they would like, whatever. Yeah, literally. Like, literally to work on their English.

[Chris DiStefano]

This Weekend.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so we did. We had a guy who was, like, sexy. Like, they came through. He was looking, like, swarthy looking, like, like, like, like sexy. Rasputin.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yo. Nice.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because, like, you know, Rasputin kind of like, didn't bathe, and he still got wild or whatever, and he's still like, you couldn't kill Rasputin for whatever reason. This guy looked like hot Rasputin. And I'm telling you, bro, the, like, Goya Greek Orthodox Youth of America, the Goya moms were on this guy's dick. This guy could have. If you. And I'm not convinced he didn't. One of them.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, he probably.

[Giannis Pappas]

But he could have legally them all.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, no.

[Chris DiStefano]

He's got a wife.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have to.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, you have to have a wife to be a Greek priest.

[Stavros Halkias]

See, the thing is, you choose, they give you a choice. If you want to be like a bishop, you want to go far. It's basically like you're married to the game. No pussy for you. If you want to be like the Pope. But if you want to be a priest, you can get married and then you get. I mean, you still have to. You're still a dork in that. You can't get side pussy. Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

But could you be single going in to be a priest and then you could date?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm saying you couldn't have sex before marriage. I don't think.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know this. There's still a Greek man, so who knows?

[Chris DiStefano]

Bishops and the archbishops can't be married. Right? I think that's.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes, but the priests can be.

[Stavros Halkias]

Priest can.

[Giannis Pappas]

But they could also be single as priests and start dating parishioners.

[Stavros Halkias]

I wonder. I don't think you can't. No. It's not the kind of thing where the priest is a fucking Chili's with some fucking divorced bitch and, like, he fucks her three times and they break up and they go mutually. Go their separate ways. No, you have to get married and fuck your wife. Like, you still have to follow the Bible to a letter.

[Giannis Pappas]

So gay.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so funny, the idea that, like, the priest would be like. Yeah, just kind of in an open, like, casual relationship with, like, just the parishioners.

[Giannis Pappas]

I would. I mean, I think that's the way it needs to go. I mean, I can tell you from the Catholic side, there's Nobody wants to become a priest anymore.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, no makes sense. It's just. And the numbers are so low, like, we are selling absolutely no tickets.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, the heat Came down. The heat came down. It's like the heat came down.

[Stavros Halkias]

It took a while.

[Chris DiStefano]

The way the mob got kind of, you know, just dismember the RICO.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. They just started. Yeah. Prosecuting was like prosecuting RICO.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

But I literally.

[Giannis Pappas]

My school, St. Matthias, that I went to my church, they have an Instagram account, or they had an Instagram account and they put out a clip of the priest giving a homily. I'm like, they're starting to do crowd work. It was like a priest giving, like a good sermon. I was like, this is how bad it's gotten.

[Stavros Halkias]

You go to St. Matthias is follows and it's like, look, you know St. Matthias boys lacrosse.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like. It's like. It's like young. Young boys gymnastics.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The Rizzler is just following little boy like Timothy Chalamet.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

Their school. I went to grammar school there. And then they. The St. Matthias Catholic Academy, whatever, shut down last year. And like, they're not. And they add.

[Chris DiStefano]

They.

[Giannis Pappas]

They were like on Instagram asking me to save the school. I said, I'm the guy from MTV2. What are you talking about? How could I possibly save this? But they're just like, maybe Chrissy can help. I'm like, no, no, I. There's no. I couldn't even remotely help.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't believe in the cause either. How would. You are Catholic, right?

[Giannis Pappas]

Hardcore.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I mean, like, he's got.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're gonna say you're hardcore.

[Giannis Pappas]

Hardcore, Dude. I got Catholic scripture. He's like, I'm like a soldier in the army of God.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you. How many times a week do you attend Mass?

[Giannis Pappas]

So, okay, so the thing is with Mass. With Mass, because I've moved so much, I haven't found a church that's a good fit. But go visit my mom on if. If I. If I'm in Ridgewood.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Before. On Sunday before noon. I am going to mass with my mom.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

You have to.

[Chris DiStefano]

Very religious.

[Giannis Pappas]

She's hardcore religious. She lights candles like she's.

[Stavros Halkias]

She.

[Giannis Pappas]

She lights candles all day for everybody praying all day, so. But my kids go to Catholic school.

[Stavros Halkias]

Doesn't mean anything.

[Giannis Pappas]

Doesn't. Well, I mean, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Catholic school means. Again, not for you. You're. I know you're enlightened guy. Whatever. In my experience, Baltimore Catholic school meant our parents are racist.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they can't afford good private school.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

So they can scrape together three grand a year instead of 12 grand a year.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And for To. For their kids to Learn never have sex. You can't have gay. Being gay is fake.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

God created the. You go to a school where they say God created Earth, you pay for that.

[Giannis Pappas]

I send my kids. I send my kids to Catholic school so I can technically look. Look at. Look you in the eye and say, my kids go to private school. But only I know the truth. But I'm not actually lying to you. If you ask a follow up question, I'm fucked.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, but dude, I remember that like, because we growing up, so many of my friends were like Greek Orthodox that went to Catholic school. And I was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? Like, we're not Catholic at all. And they're like. And then it was very clear their parents just did not want them around minorities.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right. Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was. That was the whole fucking reason that they did that. Yeah. And they were broke.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, but that's not you. Your children are in fact.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Well, well, but the thing is I. We moved to Queens. I can't send them to the public schools here. And I just. I just can't do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dude.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's probably.

[Stavros Halkias]

I haven't looked this up. I. You live in a nice area. I'm sure the public schools are good.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, no, they're. It's not that they're. Honestly, dude, it's not even me, dude.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's Jazz.

[Giannis Pappas]

She doesn't want to send them the.

[Stavros Halkias]

There we go pass the box to the Latina Puerto Rican dude, so.

[Giannis Pappas]

But she doesn't want to send them to public school. Wants Catholic school. But it is. I have always felt that way. Like I'm paying. I'm paying for this Catholic education. But the truth is it's like I'm just. I just. I'm on the cusp of being able to afford a real private school, but I'm not there. So the kids will just go to Catholic school.

[Chris DiStefano]

The problem is, is when the. Your girls you're going to. You. You knock. You can't let them hike up those dresses.

[Giannis Pappas]

I know.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's the thing. They all roll them up.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's nothing wrong that comes of Catholic school. Who do you know the way the gather school. That's like. That's a fucking genius. Right? Know that didn't. Well, like, I do think per capita Catholic school girls do fuck faster.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And freakier girls in gather school were the ones that were like, well, I can't get my pussy fucked, so I guess I'll let my boyfriend fuck me in the ass. I'm 14, by the way. Like, that's not like Catholic school makes it so the kids skip all of nature and start doing like, you know, well, we can eat each other's asses. God, there's no scripture about that.

[Giannis Pappas]

There's a workaround.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I remember there was a girl. I remember there was a girl who. She would. I never got any from her, but one of my friends. I didn't, I swear. I believe you, but she. When we were in Catholic school, this was high school, she didn't feel, you know, obviously no sex, but even like, she wouldn't give full blowjobs, she would just suck the tip because I guess she felt that was like, I'm not committing a sin.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's just hot. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. When I was growing up, like, the first hand job I got was a girl from St. Savior's shout out to Savior. And it was just the repression from the religion is almost worth how it makes people freaking. Yeah. You know, it's like, oh, this is bad. This is bad. This makes it hot. So it's worth it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's a good point. Society, like, sending your daughters to. Sending your half Latina daughters to Catholic school is like paying your taxes. And that the guys who get to fuck them in 20 years will get like, you're doing a good service.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Creating freaky half Italian, half Latinas.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what it is for high school.

[Chris DiStefano]

You may want to take them out and put them in a private.

[Giannis Pappas]

In a private school. Yeah, I gotta. Who knows where the I'll be by the time these kids are in high school. I've moved eight times in the last nine years.

[Stavros Halkias]

How are you feeling about Queens, man? No, really, I just.

[Chris DiStefano]

I just.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we're moving, dude.

[Chris DiStefano]

What?

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't. I can't do it.

[Chris DiStefano]

He likes to move.

[Giannis Pappas]

I gotta get out to the suburbs.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is crazy. Okay. And I want to ask where you went to. What school did you went to? Public school?

[Chris DiStefano]

I went to public school and then private.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

So I went to York Prep, the proud school that Robert Chambers went to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Who was the Central Park Strangler.

[Stavros Halkias]

Very nice.

[Chris DiStefano]

Johnny's classmate. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So, yeah, I love, I love, I love, like the. I would love to talk to the York Prep teachers and be like, hey, these are your two former students who turned out worst. The Central Park Strangler or Marisa one has more.

[Chris DiStefano]

This was like a huge story in New York in like the 90s. He killed this girl in Central Park.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn.

[Chris DiStefano]

And it was like, first it was like, Front page news forever. Robert Chambers.

[Giannis Pappas]

Good looking kid.

[Chris DiStefano]

He was a good looking kid.

[Stavros Halkias]

You remember Robert Chambers?

[Chris DiStefano]

Of course.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's out now. I think him on the pod.

[Stavros Halkias]

Folks, you know, my life's been a little crazy these days. I've been living on a bus, city to city. We're about to end the tour. 14 cities in 18 days. It's rough sometimes on your mental and physical wellbeing. You know what helps me unwind? Cornbread hemps. CBD gummies. That's right. I'm trying to be a good boy on this tour. In the past, Lord knows I might have taken some other stuff to unwind. Not anymore. I'm a different guy now. I take cbd. I chill out, I relax. It puts me in the mind frame to get a nice snooze going on that bus. I think you'll love it. Here's what I love about them. These products are third party, lab tested and USDA organic. You're getting safety and purity in these products. They only use the best part of the hemp plant. The flower again, the most potent CBD you could wrap your grubby little mitts on. Right now, Stavi's world listeners can save 30% on their first order. Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/stavi and use code STAVI at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com STAVI and use code STAVI. Oh, my God.

[Chris DiStefano]

You know what's funny about the Greek priests? Like when they have a scandal, it's like funny. Like there's one of the funniest ones is he's actually a Westchester priest and he was the guy who liked. I don't know if you know about the guy who put the woman's feet in his face. So he started dating.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like his name, Jim Nortonopoulos.

[Chris DiStefano]

The pictures got released and he's just. He's sitting there. I think he's got his collar onto it. Or food or artist. You can pull it up if you could find it.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's really awesome.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

God forbid you fucking pay attention to where the conversation's going. Who knows what the fuck I heard him typing. I was like, whoa. Is Eldis proactively?

[Chris DiStefano]

Googling?

[Stavros Halkias]

He's probably fucking G chatting somebody right now.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's the turtlenecks near me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Plus size, big and tall. Cashmere. Won't get made fun. Doesn't look like Old Navy Turtlenec. Looks expensive. Is cheap.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Three XL tall turtleneck history.

[Giannis Pappas]

Hyenas will think. Looks cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, dude. I mean, no, no, hold On. Let's see if he even can figure out what to Google for. I missed it.

[Eldis Haza]

I was.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Greek priest, foot fetishist. Look that up. Westchester. I respect that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Where were you?

[Eldis Haza]

I was typing a note for something else for the episode.

[Stavros Halkias]

Kinky Orthodox priest brought down by cake porn.

[Chris DiStefano]

This is fun. There he is. How do you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on.

[Giannis Pappas]

He can't see over his turtleneck.

[Stavros Halkias]

This guy's gone. Look at him.

[Chris DiStefano]

Dude, every time I see this picture makes me laugh.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's my new profile picture. Dude. No, the one with him and his. She looks awesome.

[Chris DiStefano]

Dude, look at his eye.

[Giannis Pappas]

Dude. He's got a crazy eye.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is awesome.

[Chris DiStefano]

The feet picture's so funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pick is incredible. Dude, pull up the. Dude, this guy's the man. Pull up the article. I'll just go to the New York.

[Chris DiStefano]

He's got a crazy lazy eye too.

[Stavros Halkias]

He does. Dude. This guy, he looks. Dude. Respect. I mean if you had to pick between diddlers and these types of guys. No, it's no discussion.

[Chris DiStefano]

And the cake, he was doing something where he was mushing the caves, getting the cake mushed his face or something like that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

So funny.

[Giannis Pappas]

Is he from Greece or America?

[Chris DiStefano]

No, he was a better.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think he high ranking. High ranking Greek Orthodox priest started kinky sex tapes with his much younger parish school principal and was forced to resign after the affair. Yo. Respect. Father George pasillas, the married 67 year old pastor of Spain's Saint Spiridon Church in Washington Heights right here. Wow. Even impregnated his married lover, 45 year old Ethel Bouzalas, according to sources.

[Giannis Pappas]

I like that part up there. Forced to resign after the affair. Quote, which he denied for years.

[Stavros Halkias]

He took the helm of Saint Spirit on 9 years ago and immediately ordered female worshipers to cover their head during confession. Wow.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's usually how it goes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, of course.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. The more perfect they. They, you know, the. It's. That's Bill Cosby. Don't curse.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course. But there was no such nod to modesty in the shocking sex videos viewed by the Post. Keep going. Oh, sit on it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Sit on it.

[Stavros Halkias]

In one scene, the bearded cleric, wearing only a white T shirt, watches his long haired brunette lover plant her. Her thong clad bottom on a piece of banana bread wrapped in cellophane. Respect. Dude wearing stiletto heels. You know what's interesting? She's. She's got a Greek name, but she. She looks Latina. Oh, apparently she's Peruvian.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, but Pusalas. Isn't that a Greek name?

[Chris DiStefano]

That sounds probably like Half Peruvian.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, dude, this guy's living the dream. A half Latina, half Greek. The dream my dream is to have is to marry some type of. I need. I can't go full Greek, right? I need some kind of high, you know, it's just. Reminds me too much of my fucking aunts. You know what I mean? Like, I need somebody, and, you know, I'm a man of the world. If I was this guy, I'd be. I'd be fucking sitting on banana. I'd be putting the whole loaf up.

[Chris DiStefano]

So she oddly wiggles on the bread until it's flattened.

[Stavros Halkias]

Apparently a fetish known as cake crush or gangster. So this. This is how advanced this guy got cheating on his wife as a priest. Imagine how many, many years of freaky he had to do to get to sit on cake with cellophane to make my dick hard. That's crazy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Think about how freak you have to be to finally get to banana bread. That's like the final boss.

[Chris DiStefano]

I just love that picture. Kids in heaven just smelling those.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, you know what, though? But, like, honestly, dude, this kid's only gonna live once. Like, did he do anything wrong? He's living his. I mean, I know he had a. You know. Yeah, I know that. But, you know, what are you gonna do? They get over it. It's just like. This is beautiful.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, so here's what happened. Okay? Apparently this lady was Peruvian. She married. The scandal blew up in early September when Tom Boozalas, Ethel's husband, emailed Bishop Antonius, Paropoulos, the chancellor of the Greek. Dude, getting. Getting so cucked. You snitch to the. Like to the guy's boss. Yeah, yeah, that's Tom. You're a fucking. You got cucked major, dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

You go to the head of your.

[Stavros Halkias]

Religion, you fuck the guy. Go fuck the priest. You're gonna go be like. Like the priest. My wife. Make him in trouble.

[Chris DiStefano]

Plus, like, how. How much of a man of God are you? Your wife is the priest. The priest has the ear of God. So now your wife's is holy.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's holy. Talk your prayers into your wife's.

[Chris DiStefano]

Exactly. Like, enjoy it.

[Stavros Halkias]

I need to be more assertive. Yeah, I want to get a. I want to get a promotion. Okay. The bishop, known in the church by his first name, said the. That both Basias and Ethel then came to see him and that Basias was suspended on September 16 as per the sexual misconduct policy of the archdiocese. Suspended? He's a priest who shot porno where a parishioner's wife Sat on bread and then ostensibly like, we're going to need.

[Giannis Pappas]

You to sit out one Sunday. Yeah, that's.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, they really.

[Giannis Pappas]

They do.

[Chris DiStefano]

Every church treats the priests like, like star athletes. It's like Justin Bieber with his N Word video. It's like, these guys make us too much money. And we're gonna walk around this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, here's, here's awesome. The priest, he was leaving for personal and health reasons and confessed to multitudinous sins and shortcomings. Multitudinous sins and shortcomings. That's my next special name. Dude.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's a great. That's a great.

[Stavros Halkias]

And he said, I will now fade out of this world for a considerable time according to God's will. He said, the big man upstairs made me get my dick sucked.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He has chosen for me that I should retire and follow the way of silence, prayer, fasting, and utter devotion to our Lord. Please do not ask where I am going and where I will be. It's certainly not. And then I will be on fet foot fetish.com and then. And then. Oh, just interestingly enough, we're opening up a church in Thailand.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, this is. Oh, he's. He lives in Flushing, dude.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But so it says. So he made it sound like he was going to some monastery, which by the way, in Greece, beautiful monasteries.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

One of our friend, one of our good friends, his. His dad, we, you know, I went to college with him. His dad is one of these guys that like, is. So he's kind of like your mom. It sounds like the Greek Orthodox version where like he literally can't wait to die to meet God. Like he talks about. He's like, he smiles when he talks about dying to his sons. And they went off for Thanksgiving. They went to a Greek monastery and had. They said it was fucking crazy. It was just like these guys, like, these guys go to. They wake up, there's no electric. Like they don't live. There's electricity if you want it, but they live in like, they live like the closest you came to the Middle Ages where they fall asleep with the sun. With the. When the sun goes down, they wake up in the middle of the night, pray or fucking do some work, sleep again, wake up at 6am they eat like twice for 20 minutes. And the whole time some guys do it. So these guys are super hardcore. He's kind of hinting that he would do that. However, the New York. The Post saying Pasillas, who lives in Flushing, Queens, is not in an isolated monastery. Self flagellating Instead, he went to his daughter's home in Chicago. A church official says messages left. This guy's just like, I have to go. I'm doing. To pray. And he's just having a good. He's at a Bears game.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, he's got it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pray for him and his wife. He has four grown children and the lady has three. This is some. This. You know, it's not great, but it is a beautiful story about how you can continue to discover your sexuality deep into your 60s.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, that's.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's kind of promising. It's hopeful.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's hopeful in terms of, like, it's not an ages story. It's a beautiful story of, like, finding. Finding yourself.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because there's like a part of me, like, I. I just turned 40 and I'm like. It's like the best years of my life over. Did I have. I experience it all? And then it's like, dude, in 27 years, you could be sticking banana bread in your ass. Like, that's how crazy things could get.

[Chris DiStefano]

Life is better on the second half, right? It's better, dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

Apparently, this woman converted to Christianity when this priest baptized her while she wore a bikini.

[Giannis Pappas]

So he was just like, rock. I mean, she's legitimately, like, a hot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, look at this picture.

[Chris DiStefano]

Look how happy he is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Elvis, save this picture. We're getting it printed on T shirts. This is my hero, dude. This is bringing me back to the church, dude. I've been pretty. You know, I've been legit. Like this guy, that face.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cell phone.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's on the cell phone. This, like. She looks awesome, dude. This is what I want to be like.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, dude. And he doesn't give a. I love it, dude.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, he.

[Giannis Pappas]

That I might just be looking at another girl. I don't know where he's looking.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's why he probably got it. Yeah. He has a. Literally a wandering eye.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So this is awesome. Apparently, he promoted her. She had no. She had no education credentials. She was soon promoted to the principal of Saint Spiridon Parochial School. No, by the way, this is the level education your children are getting, by the way.

[Chris DiStefano]

This is who.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is who gets to run these religious institutions.

[Giannis Pappas]

Ethel Bouzales.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

She also became a church treasurer and signatory on bank accounts.

[Giannis Pappas]

So she. She fucking stole all their money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, they literally. In addition to imposing conservative values, Pacia ruffled longtime congregants who said he removed controls over church spending and questioned why money was being poured into repairs at the school. So they were fully, literally Embezzling and. Oh, this is funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

This is the best part. When they start accusing him. He said, she's a goddaughter to me. That's it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, he's her godfather.

[Chris DiStefano]

Goddaughter to me. And that's it.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's respect to this guy. All right, I. I love this. Let's, you know, any. Any conclusions.

[Chris DiStefano]

He was brought before a spiritual court and was convicted in the first degree.

[Giannis Pappas]

Spiritual court of the first degree.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hilarious. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

First degree of being awesome priest. Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

And describe in great detail what you were up to.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, she sat on bread.

[Giannis Pappas]

Her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Her husband refused to comment on the affair or the pregnancy. He might have gotten her pregnant.

[Chris DiStefano]

Get her pregnant.

[Giannis Pappas]

She got an abortion.

[Chris DiStefano]

Getting her pregnant. Yeah, he did get pregnant. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And his farewell sex tapes. This is awesome.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I like that. They made sex tapes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. That is sick, dude. A frame in his farewell note said he was following the direction of his spiritual father, Yaronda Ephraim. Ephraim presides over St. Anthony's Greek Orthodoxy in Florence, Arizona. Oh yeah, that's where a freaky old man should go. Arizona. Yeah, that's actually where they go. Nothing but leathery.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

70 year olds sucking and yeah, I bet you this priest now has a nipple rings. Oh yeah, he's awesome, dude.

[Eldis Haza]

The family of a young man who lived there and committed suicide in 2012 contends the death was result of six years of physical and psychological abuse at the monastery.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the monastery he's going to.

[Giannis Pappas]

I guarantee you too, dude, if you look to this even further, he probably did kill Tony in like 2014.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you call a black guy? What do you call a black doctor? Nothing. There are no black doctors.

[Chris DiStefano]

The kill Jody.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fucking. Fucking monster. You're like, yeah, yeah. Say the N word, you son of a. That was incredible. Have you ever gotten from a. That had banana bread in her ass? As a matter of fact, you. I can't. Red band's like that would kill dude. A Greek priest that got put. Dude, if this guy killed Tony now, he would be a hero and I would demand to be on the if. If. What's his name again? Elvis.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, you just know when you watch kill Tony come out there with no legs and down syndrome. You're like, that guy's getting the golden.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ticket across side George Pasias, a cross eyed priest that used to get that Latina on the side, dude, it's doing race, dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

She's on crutches and rail.

[Stavros Halkias]

He put a hurting on that.

[Eldis Haza]

He's reminded me of Russell Crowe and the Pope's Exorcist.

[Stavros Halkias]

Great movie.

[Giannis Pappas]

But look at that. I mean, I. So funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a crutch.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's a piece of ass, dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, she looks good. She said too much banana bread.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, well, let's save this picture. I literally want a T shirt.

[Chris DiStefano]

You guys are. You're welcome. For me introducing you to the coolest priest of all time. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you got.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Balls in your court. Coolest Catholic, coolest Catholics.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, dude, we don't. I don't have anyone.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't have.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just Google.

[Giannis Pappas]

Just Google any state penitentiary. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

God damn. That's so. That smile, dude. That's a good. Folks, if you're listening, please tune into the YouTube just to see the. Actually, we'll maybe make this the episode picture.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

God damn. That's incredible.

[Giannis Pappas]

And you know what? But a thousand percent, he's gonna get notified that you were talking about this.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh. I mean, the Greek community. Absolutely.

[Giannis Pappas]

You two guys. Who's bigger in Greek comedy than YouTube? Guys, this guy's gonna get notified.

[Stavros Halkias]

Listen, get us a Stamos retweet and. We've covered our bases.

[Chris DiStefano]

We've covered all our bases out there. This guy is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dude, we need to. Actually, we need to take this step further. We have to develop this script.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you kidding me? I want to play this guy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Great.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. We'll get Karen Feehan to play the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Holy shit.

[Chris DiStefano]

Actually, this would be a great.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is a fucking awesome movie, dude. All right.

[Chris DiStefano]

Great movie.

[Stavros Halkias]

Done and done. Are you ready to win Mother's Day and cement your reputation as the best gift giver in the family? Give the moms in your life an aura digital picture frame preloaded with decades of family photos. My mother's got one. I'm actually kind of up against it. I've been getting. I got her an aura frame last year, and now I'm fudged. I'm fudged to the gills because. I don't know, I already got her the perfect present last year. Don't. I might get her, too. They're so good. You know what? She just got a new place. Fudge it. I'm going double. I'm getting my mother another aura frame. She's got one for the bedroom. She's getting one for the living room now. I might have to get my grandma one, too. She's mesmerized by the aura that they currently have. It's so easy to set up Mother's Day's. Coming up, but it's perfect for any occasion. Buy two, save one for Christmas. I don't know what to tell you. All you need to know is this was named best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and it's easy to see why. Unlimited storage. We're talking as many memories as you want. You throw some memes on there, you know we're all familiar. I'm at home. I don't have my aura. We know what mine has. AI generated Anime girls that Elvis was so he got it for me as a present. He was so kind to fill it up with the kind of stuff I like to see. Fried calamari, scenes from Heat. Now you don't want to fill your mommy's aura frame up with that kind of stuff. That's for a degenerate like me. You fill it up with cute stuff. Bunnies, pictures of you as a child, pictures of you and your significant other. Well, hopefully you have. If you don't have that pictures of you cleaning your room for once. I know we got some disgusting animals that listen to the show and buying this R frame. This is your time to turn it around. Your mom will start respecting you if you buy the aura frame. I can't promise that, but it's a good first step. Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com auraframes.com to get $35 off plus free shipping on their best selling Carver mat frame. That's a U R A frames.com promo code. Stavi support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. This is going to be awesome. I'm going to make a fucking movie about a philandering Greek priest. Just every Greek church wants nothing to. Actually that might be nice.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Stop getting hit up to do. Do Greek people ever ask you to do shows at churches?

[Chris DiStefano]

Dude, all the time. I've done a few. Not anymore.

[Giannis Pappas]

Money good at least do they do.

[Chris DiStefano]

They're not even that great.

[Stavros Halkias]

No. And also it's the kind of thing where if you did it and they paid you a lot, they almost expect you to kind of give the money back.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cuz it's a church. You know what I mean? Like it's like just trying to take.

[Giannis Pappas]

Your time from you.

[Chris DiStefano]

And everything in the Greek community goes through the church. So it's like church.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's also like guys watch One second.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of my ass.

[Giannis Pappas]

Have you guys ever done it and it did not go well, because it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Wasn'T what was expecting. I even from Port Jefferson, did not go good.

[Giannis Pappas]

Did you do panos?

[Chris DiStefano]

No, I did stand up. It did not go good. Yeah. Bombed, of course.

[Giannis Pappas]

Why don't you start ripping out Mr. Ponos then? Wouldn't that kill?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I mean, I probably should have done it. Yeah, I probably should have done it. Yeah. I mean, that's what I did.

[Giannis Pappas]

You ever do one? Did you ever do a gig? Did you ever do a gig where like, you, me, you mix it up like they wanted ponos but you gave him Maurica.

[Chris DiStefano]

No.

[Giannis Pappas]

Or Maurice and you gave him ponos?

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, the priest might have tried to him. If he looked like Mauricio, that priest.

[Giannis Pappas]

Would have watched and be like, give me banana bread. Get me banana bread.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I did one time. I did a corporate aspano in Canada in Toronto for this Greek, like hedge fund billionaire.

[Giannis Pappas]

Hilarious.

[Chris DiStefano]

It was his birthday party.

[Giannis Pappas]

His name was George Soros.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, his name was George Soros. And I, I was, I came out and like the, the. The bathing suit and the everything Graham K. Opened for me. He ate it. How's it supposed to go? Good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sure. And then I was just up there in swim trunks with a painted on mustache and.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I mean, you're talking about zero. Like, people did not know what the hell went well.

[Chris DiStefano]

It went well. They were all financial guys. I did this video, the Greek financial crisis. So then it caught on with financial people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. I remember that video even before we were friends. The Greek community that caught fire. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And then it caught fire with like finance, like financial guys. So this guy, all his friends, they weren't Greek, but they were financial. So I just went up there and like made fun of like corporate greed and stuff and them. And it was.

[Giannis Pappas]

All went relatively well then.

[Chris DiStefano]

That part went well. Yeah. But it was one of those, like we were talking about before the show, unorthodox things where I'm just standing in the middle of a party.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's like you feel like.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

You really feel like, how is this? How am I getting paid? What is this?

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, it's also like people are eating.

[Chris DiStefano]

Apps and you're just turning around like, hey, look at him. How's it going? Possible you can make a money?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's fully demeaning where it's like, like it's. The money's usually so much that you're like, like, I'll trade my base humanity for an hour for this. Where it's like, I'll be gawked at by the super wealthy and bomb and feel bad because they're giving me so much money.

[Chris DiStefano]

You take the money, you feel like a laugh.

[Giannis Pappas]

One time I did one. I did one for Goldman Sachs. I. I flew to California, did it. They took care of the flight. And it was good. It was good, you know, like money. And then about. I was supposed to do 45. About 15 minutes in, the guy stopped me, like, whoever was in charge and said, I'll pay you to stop.

[Stavros Halkias]

So. So I got.

[Giannis Pappas]

So I said, I swear to God, I was like on the little makeshift stage, it was like. I said, so you're telling me you're gonna give me the money that you agreed to in full to stop right now? He said, that's what I'm saying, kid. He goes, we'll get back to the dinner.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And he was like, thank you. And I was like, thank you guys so much. And like, you know, a few people clapped and I got out, called my agent, he was like, yeah, we got the money wired. You go to the airport, son.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, that feels brute.

[Chris DiStefano]

Like, it was bad.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is. There is more dignity. For real. And I'm not even joking in, like, sex work.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because at least you know you're doing. You're good at your job. You can crush it no matter what. You're a pro and like, you're there for a service that everybody needs. Whereas, like, for. For him being like, just stop, just stop. It's like, geez, you just, just stop.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'll pay you. Dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

One time you want to go like.

[Chris DiStefano]

Hey, this was your idea. Yeah, this was your. I told you that was your idea. Idea, dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

I told. Because normally when I do those corporate.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cakes, I'll always start the same.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'll be like, this was a bad idea. Why would you do comedy here? And it gets last, but for these people, they're like, no, we know. None of us want.

[Stavros Halkias]

We don't want this.

[Giannis Pappas]

I was like, I couldn't get out of it. One time I sold such few tickets at. It was called the D.C. drafthouse.

[Stavros Halkias]

I remember the draft.

[Giannis Pappas]

Remember the D.C. draft House? I sold such few tickets at the end of the weekend, they asked me to give them money back. And I called my agent at the time and he was like, we made a bad deal. Like, you should do the right thing and give him some money back. And I remember driving home from D.C. with less money than when I started.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn, dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

That must have been right, because that room only was around for like, what, six years?

[Giannis Pappas]

I did it with Sergio Chacone. Sergio Chacone, our guy who works with the both of us. And I. I was like, dude, I'm gonna pay you. Obviously, you deserve this. But just know, like, I actually have negative money. And he let me keep the money because I saw. Because my agent at the time tried to make, like, a bigger deal, and I didn't sell anything. I sold even less than what they thought. And they were like, give the money back. Full weekend, dude. Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Giannis Pappas]

And then.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then I like that room, though.

[Giannis Pappas]

And it closed down. And then they made me do their, like, DC Drafthouse podcast sucked. So I just had to, like, do all that and pay the money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

What that will. Let's talk about this more, because it's just purely comedy stuff that nobody cares about. But that's fascinating. Like, what year Was this?

[Giannis Pappas]

That 2018. Early 2019, maybe. Maybe it's early 2019.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm shocked you couldn't sell more tickets in DC.

[Giannis Pappas]

I only started for my career. It's. It's literally like. Like, my 911 bit is legit. My 911. I have a pre 911 world and a post 911 world.

[Chris DiStefano]

911 was good for you, literally.

[Giannis Pappas]

I know. Yeah, dude. I mean, it did more for me than it did for ISIS, so. So I. I could not sell any 10 tickets. Like, that's like, I'm talking about not a one, even in New York. And then that thing came out, and then little by little, they were like, oh, the clubs are sold out. I was like, what?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So it just changed.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then the good news, like, you're finally starting to separate yourself from that identity. When are you playing Madison Square Garden?

[Giannis Pappas]

Master Square Garden, September 11, 2025. And if you guys want to hear that 911 bit, we're gonna dust it off.

[Chris DiStefano]

Here's the thing.

[Giannis Pappas]

Tickets have been on sale for about a week or two. Right now they're going good. But here's the news. We said this on history. Here's where. Here's how you're going to know if I need help come about June, July, if you start seeing. Oh. Special guest Maurice added live history Hyenas.

[Chris DiStefano]

Added a phone call with Stavi.

[Stavros Halkias]

Tim Dillon face times in special guest Andrew Schultz.

[Giannis Pappas]

Hey, Chris is getting married. So the more things you see added on before 9 11, just know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just know.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's not going well.

[Stavros Halkias]

So.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. But those tickets are on sale September 11, 2025.

[Chris DiStefano]

That'd be funny if you're outside the show the day before. Scalping tickets for your own show. You're barking for your own show at the Garden. Well, they told me.

[Giannis Pappas]

They told me. They said, look, the good news about the Garden is like all almost immediately as soon as you put that show on sale like 5, 000 people buy tickets because of the scalpers. So when they sent me my first ticket update, I was like, what about the scalpers? Are the scalpers not buying? No, man, this is not going good. I was like, even the scalpers were.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, no, scalpers are gonna short you. Yeah, yeah, like we'll wait on these. We get them cheaper.

[Giannis Pappas]

But it's funny, dude. It's fine.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's gonna go great.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is sick. That is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's sick. It's.

[Giannis Pappas]

For me, it's just like, personally like, it's just something I've always wanted to do. And then I almost feel like mentally I could just set myself free and just go right back to C Gotham or whatever, you know, like just say I did it once, I don't need to do it ever again. Actually, to be honest, the pressure of this, I actually don't ever want to do it again. I mean I, I'm even my mind, I'm like seven months before this thing, it's. It's consuming my life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, you know, five or four. We don't know.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Whenever it comes once, you know, this.

[Chris DiStefano]

May come out after the show. I was going to say this may not be a podcast anymore. This comes out.

[Giannis Pappas]

I may have myself under pressure of the show by the time this episode turns out.

[Chris DiStefano]

This could be a post hominous release. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

In memory.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's going to be like an immemorial.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's so. No, that's awesome. But I'm with you, dude. There is something beautiful about. I like the idea of, I don't know, we were talking a little bit about it before, but it's like I didn't really get into comedy because of like my boundless ambition.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I got into comedy to have a good time.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's it.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I'm like, I just want, I wanna, I can't wait to peak. I'd love. Obviously I'd love to do msg, right? But if it never happens, like, yeah, what? Like, I've done some great shit. I'm looking forward to the decline, brother. Sure. I'm looking forward to the. Just like, let me just fucking go. I belong in shitty like big strip mall clubs, right? That's where I like, you know, you play those shitty ones and then you play like the cool ones down. Like I have. We play some clubs to tune. I'm going on a big theater tour, the Dream Boat tour. Please buy your tickets. It's going to be good. The work. We're working really hard on the hour.

[Chris DiStefano]

And I buy tickets for wherever I'm at in 2027 when this comes out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Buy tickets to.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, find a local Greek church near you.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's.

[Chris DiStefano]

He's announcing a tour that already happened.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're halfway through. We're halfway through.

[Chris DiStefano]

See me at whatever Greek church I'm performing.

[Stavros Halkias]

But dude, I go to. Like, I'll do warm up shows in clubs and theaters are cool too, obviously, like, it's a dream come true. But it's like I'm a piece of that belongs in clubs.

[Giannis Pappas]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

I need to. I should be cut off because some l. The waitress. The waitress is drunk and she dropped chicken fingers. Yeah. That should ruin my momentum. That's what I deserve. I don't deserve to be in the same buildings that like Elton John is in. Yeah, that's. Fuck. And the best part about that, it's like, I don't know what happened in society where we got to just.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I don't know what happened.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Comedians are like the new rock stars. Like, fuck Matt Damon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so I can't wait for like what you're. I want to do something like that. Like, you got your msg and it's like, dude, just. If it's all downhill from there, it's great.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's how I. That's exactly how I feel. Like I knew I didn't belong at all when after I. The previously New York City, I did Radio City two years ago, and then the very next day I got recognized at the Queen Center Mall playing laser tag with my kids. It's like so like a guy that was like a chappelle or like, they're not. You're not going to catch them playing laser tag. But because it's just like, we don't deserve this. Just the podcast.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Comedy is just one of those things that doesn't really belong in an arena. Do you ever read Steve Martin's book when he was doing Y Stadium, he was like, this is not comedy. He's like, I don't know what this is.

[Giannis Pappas]

But after that, the best comedy venue, like the bigger ones to do is Beacon theater. That's the one. 2,000 seats, right? And you peeled off like four of them there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Three.

[Chris DiStefano]

Three of them.

[Stavros Halkias]

I loved it so I wanted. I was considered shooting. I. I don't know when I'm gonna do my next special, but I'm trying to do. We're trying to do something special for. In New York. So I'm trying to get like one of the big. Not msg, Carnegie hall or something. Something iconic, you know, Radio City. Radio City, Great. Something like that. And if that doesn't happen, then I want to shoot my next special at the Beacon because is perfect. Beautiful. It's perfect. It looks cool. Has all that fucking sick architecture. But you know, you know what time it is, folks. This episode of the show is brought to you by booking.combooking. yeah. Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. We're on the road. We're nomads. I'm not going to lie to you. We had, we. We booked a nice place, but Eldis is over here. I'm tired of smelling him. I went on booking.com. i got myself fan. I said, I need to unwind. I need a place with a soaking tub. I need a place that has access to a sauna. Booking.com had that for me. Booking.com's got whatever you're looking for, whatever accommodation you're looking for, booking.com's got it, baby. Okay? You want to be near some state parks, maybe some museums, maybe you're a dork. They got that. I don't know if they have dork mode, but they have. Just search and they'll find your stuff. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com has something for everyone. No matter who you are, booking.com helps you find the stay. That's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking dot com. Booking Yale. I also, I wanted to go back to the. Because we got so sidetracked by this priest.

[Giannis Pappas]

We got more sidetracked than his eyes.

[Stavros Halkias]

I wanna. I wanna delve into the psychology of why you keep moving.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, because Yanni, you're. You're you. You're set up.

[Chris DiStefano]

You gotta settle.

[Stavros Halkias]

You got. You're settled. You're in the burbs.

[Chris DiStefano]

Mortgage paid. I'm settled.

[Stavros Halkias]

Mortgage paid. Conservative Greek wife.

[Chris DiStefano]

She. No, her family is her family. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm remembering the bit. Remembering the bit about how you want a Republican, right? You want a Republican to have a child with.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because, yeah, that's a great bit, by the way. But, you know, like, you're. You're good and you've been good and you're. And you can't. You're still.

[Giannis Pappas]

I can't figure it out.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's going on, man, because kid likes action. Action. I think that's.

[Giannis Pappas]

So me and Giannis did a. We did our first live History Hyena show last month or whenever this comes out, out last year in Washington, D.C.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just to spite them. We're putting this out next week.

[Giannis Pappas]

Next week. So we did it in Washington, D.C. and then as a joke, you know, because he was driving from where he lives and I was driving from where I live, but, you know, separate car, so it's like a four hour drive. I was like. As a joke, I was like, we should call each other and just talk the whole way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And we actually did that. It was a goof. And then we're just fucking having fun, laughing. And there was something that he said where I was like, that's interesting. That's good insight. And I confirmed my therapist, this is accurate. See, my father was a gambler. Like, it is a gambler. Whatever. And so they get addicted to losing.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Not winning. You're addicted to losing. And I always thought in my head, subconsciously, I'm not a gambler. I don't gamble on sports. I don't even know card games. That was my father's wish and I never did it. So I was like, I'm not a gambler. But then it's like I'm addicted to the. Losing the house. Get it back. Lose the girl, get her back. Lose the career. Get it back. Lose the podcast. Get it back.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know, it's just like, yeah. So it's like, there's something with that. But I will say, the last few months of my life, I've been very much like, okay, something happened where it's like. I think because I've been living through it, you just get ex. I get exhausted. I'm like, exhausted by it. Like, I couldn't. I used to be I would move in somewhere, and then within a week, I'm like, I can't wait to move again.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

But now it's like the thought of. The thought of even having to move out of this current house is so exhausting to me, which I've never felt before. Normally. It was always like, couldn't wait, couldn't wait. But now it's like, whatever, next house I get. It's like, I've told My family, like, it has to be the right one, because we will.

[Stavros Halkias]

It can't be this one.

[Giannis Pappas]

I refuse.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's definitely.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's not for sale.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, the. The one. The one you're in right now.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, I'm renting it. Yeah. And I would stay renting, but girl, kids, she's like, we need to be settled. Like, I need to. I need to know that I can paint a Puerto Rican flag on the wall.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I'm like, I get.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can do that. By the way. I mean, you can.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what I told her.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can buy an extra flag. Gallon of paint.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what I told her.

[Stavros Halkias]

You get some eggshell to paint over that Puerto Rican flag.

[Giannis Pappas]

I told. Like, but do you understand the way this works? Like, we're renting now, and it's fine. I was like, it's. I have no problem with it. I was like, if you. If we buy a house I can't afford, I'm going to lose the house, too. Like, you're just renting from the bank.

[Stavros Halkias]

With these interest rates.

[Giannis Pappas]

So I was like, you know, what do you want to do? So I keep just trying to convince her to move to a place that we can afford, but she's just being a woman and not allowing.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can't afford a lot of stuff. You're playing Madison Square Garden.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but it's. It's fun. I'll tell you off air, what you actually. You don't make what you think you make.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know. Yeah, that's true.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's true.

[Stavros Halkias]

But the point stands, though, that you're not. You know what I mean? Like, no, no.

[Giannis Pappas]

But it does feel at times like this business is, like, changing so much, and it's like, I used to know, like, okay, I know what I'm gonna. I know what's gonna happen for me in these, you know, next couple years. But then it's like, now. It's like, I actually don't know anymore. Ticket sales are weird. Pods are weird.

[Chris DiStefano]

This.

[Giannis Pappas]

These things are always evolving. So I'm like, why don't we just, like, stay safe and, like, not live within our means? But she's like, hello, I'm not with you. I'm with you because fucking, let's go crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Chris DiStefano]

Right, right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, you definitely should live within your means. I think it's more of a psychological. You don't want to fucking admit you're just a settled old man. I think it's like you. Like, because you fought, you're in a Great situation. And from an outsider's perspective, right. You're, it's. You still refer to the mother of your children as your girl.

[Chris DiStefano]

You're not.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? Like, like, you, you're. You've been together for a decade.

[Giannis Pappas]

We are engaged now. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's huge.

[Giannis Pappas]

Every time I say the word fiance, I feel a little calm come out of my body.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, so let's start the. Put the over under at four years until they actually get married. Eldest, let's set the over under at 20. 20, 20, 30. When we'll be attending? When I'll be at Chris's wedding in Staten Island.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes. I'm not getting married until we fully acquire Greenland.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know. That's my, that's my reason. Cuz if you're moving around, it's like, it's kind of crazy to be moving around with kid. Little ass kids.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're just doing it. You're like, well, no, I'm still, I'm still a young guy. I'm not married. Yeah, I got kids, but I can go. If I don't like, if I don't like the molding in a house, it.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know what it is? Like, because, like, it's what it is. I had kids. I had them at 30, but for a comedian, it's like, I almost feel like I, I'm fortunate, but I'm like, I had them too young because now I'm more. Now I'm more settled.

[Stavros Halkias]

Insanity.

[Giannis Pappas]

No. But now I'm more settled at 40. I'm like, oh, I would. Why would I move my kids anymore? But it's like at 30, when I was like 32, right. I was just like, you know, let's run around, you know, I was like, I was like a cokehead without ever doing coke.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Kids. These kids to be. These kids are going to be meeting people there. They're going to be like, so your dad, you moved a lot. Your dad was in the military? He's like, no, my dad was Chris the Stephen.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, he was on MTV2's Guide Code.

[Giannis Pappas]

No. Yes, I was. I was in the army of God. Check out my tattoo.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you just can't move.

[Giannis Pappas]

But I feel more settled now. But I do got to find a house. But these goddamn. The housing market, at least the New York area. I mean, every real estate agent you talk to, they're like, it's as, it's as bad as it's ever been been is right now. So I bought a house during the absolute best time in the last hundred years. And then I sold it. The absolute worst time to ever sell it. Now I'm trying to buy back in at the absolute worst time. So it's what it is. I'm Chrissy. Good decisions.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're a real estate mush.

[Giannis Pappas]

So for God's sakes, please come see me September 11, 2025 at Madison Square Garden.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's hilarious, man.

[Chris DiStefano]

This house was bought by a Muslim family that.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's.

[Chris DiStefano]

It was just another crusade that we lost.

[Giannis Pappas]

Here's the kind of block I lived on in Staten Island. I'm not. And I'm not kidding. So when I sold this, they were very upset. I lived on a block in Staten island where for the first six months of me living there, I had to tell them that Jasmine was in fact Italian and not Puerto Rican. I just told them all she was Sicilian. Cuz then they go. Because then when you tell Italian guys, they're like, oh, dark skinned.

[Chris DiStefano]

She's dog.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, she's Sicilian. And then one day for a party, her entire busload of Puerto Rican family came over. And then the jig was up and then they were fine. And then TT Jerry came over and big problem. Then it's like I brought transgender Puerto Ricans off the hill. And they're like, what the. So then I sold it. And then my neighbor, the ver. As a just a last act of defiance, I sold it to a full Palestinian family. I just got out of it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good for you.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I was like, that's for Gaza.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's good. That is. That's legitimately awesome. I love that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drove away as they were just loading up their rifles. I watched them all put American flags outside their house as soon as I drove away.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

The gambler, the gambling mentality is like, you want to lose because subconsciously so then you can win again. Because the whole thrill is about being down so you can get up. So that's the thrill.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I hated the. I gambled a little bit when I was younger and I just hate. I. It is an intense feeling, but I. It's just. You feel it really in the pit of your stomach and I could see it. Just because you want to feel anything the way people like, almost. Almost. It's like. It's like a, you know, masochist thing almost.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so. But I couldn't. It was too much for me, man. Think. I just don't gamble anymore.

[Giannis Pappas]

And it's not good.

[Chris DiStefano]

But it does feel good when you win. Like. Yeah, like I don't have a gambling thing. But when you do win, you can see how people get hooked in, like, that feeling, like free money.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Chris DiStefano]

It, like, speaks to some part of your brain that it's a high.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, it's beautiful.

[Chris DiStefano]

Let's go back in again. Let's go back in again.

[Stavros Halkias]

So clearly we have two experts, two men who are dealing with, you know, family life in very different ways.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But two great perspectives, fatherly perspectives.

[Chris DiStefano]

Also, you know what? Having a family and kids and being a comedian is challenging.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's challenging in a way that we.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are one of the most persecuted minorities.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, we are. Yeah, we really are.

[Giannis Pappas]

Being a white man in comedy and having a family is not easy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not easy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Being a white guy in America, being.

[Giannis Pappas]

Relatively good looking, being healthy, it's not. It's not good.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's tough. No, but you got to take our free speech. Yeah, definitely. Everyone who complains about that doesn't have $100 million. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, you know, it's like musicians go and they tour, and then they're home comedians. We tour for two days, come back or, like, you know, or. And like, tour for a couple weeks. And you like, having kids and doing that is very difficult because normal people go to work, they come home, they see their kids every day. Day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

When you torn and you come back and then your daughter's, like, a little taller.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

This is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, especially when they're young.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's very tough.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, my friend has a. My friend has a two and a half year old, and her husband, like, travels for work, and it's like, he'll be gone for, like, not a long time. Five days. And it's like this motherfucker's picked up a new skill.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

100.

[Stavros Halkias]

You missed, like, you missed him. Understanding. Past tense.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean?

[Giannis Pappas]

Like, well, dude. And then they get older. Like, my oldest one, my daughter is nine. And now it'll be like, like, like, I have to go away next week. I have to promote my Hulu special coming out February 21st on Hulu. Or it's probably been out for eight. Yeah, it's been out for a year.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's doing great, but I have to go. Oh, let's start a cult. Also has been out on Hulu for a little longer.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Good.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's. Yep. It's been.

[Giannis Pappas]

But my daughter, she goes, so, you know, I have to be gone from, like, February 10th to the 16th. And she goes. My daughter's like, oh. I was like, you Know Daddy has work, you know, whatever. Doing this and that. She's like, great. She's like, so another Valentine's Day you're going to miss with me. And then I'm just. And then, and then, and then I start to get mad. I'm like, well, I have to do the show San Francisco because your mother wants a house in Westchester.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's smart.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I love that. I love that strategy. I think I need the passive aggressiveness I really like.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

From you. The kind of emotional immaturity and passive aggressiveness.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so let's see if we can apply some of these, this great advice not just to your daughters, but to. Are my children the people who call into Stavi's?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

So let's see what we got here. I'll just place a couple questions.

[Chris DiStefano]

Hey, Stavi. Hey, Elvis. And hey, guest. Thank you for always have an awesome show. I have a question for you.

[E]

So I've been married maybe 14 years. 13 years.

[Chris DiStefano]

13 years.

[Stavros Halkias]

Been with her about 15. Okay. The opposite. I'm not sure about what late 30s.

[Chris DiStefano]

Women are reading right now.

[E]

It's books I can best describe as fairy porn.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

And my wife is reading these books like crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

And she's getting more and more sexual, which is great.

[Chris DiStefano]

She's asking how to spice things up. What do I do here?

[E]

What she's into fairy porn.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, she's into these romantasy books.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, like, dude, do I have.

[E]

To read them to see what these like vampires and fairies and elves are doing?

[Stavros Halkias]

You have to read them. I mean, know how to your wife.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, put the elf head on. And your wife, I mean, your wife is getting more horny and you got a, a problem.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, dude, I've gotten like, I, I, I.

[Chris DiStefano]

All I want to do is pork my wife, but I can't get to her because there's baby toys everywhere. What's the problem here?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, dude, what are you talking about? How to spice things up. Go to the bodega, get a piece, a piece of banana bread and go sit on it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just sit on it. Yeah, dude, go to Amazon, get yourself a fairy costume.

[Giannis Pappas]

Put your wife, that's how she wants to get you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Do it, dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

Get a, get a, like a sword, like a, a sword handle, but the end is a dildo. And her like that. You know what I mean?

[Chris DiStefano]

Hire a couple little people, throw them in El's costumes and go wild. What's the problem? Seriously, dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

Listen, dude, either you could your wife or Peter Dinklage will. It's up to you, man. And don't ask me because you know, like, you even talked about Stavi, like, oh, you give relationship advice. Here's my. Here's my life. I just recently got engaged like three weeks ago. And I looked on the nightstand last night and Jasmine's reading a book that's called Single on purpose.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't really have the answer. This is interesting though. Like the romantic. Like these romance novel. I think that is a thing a lot of women are reading. Sort of like big. It's. I guess it's always been big. Like growing up, it was always, always the. The joke was like the Fabio style romance novel covers. It's just that, I mean women have always. This is pornography for women.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, it's always like the most heinous you could ever think of. It's always like some night kidnap or a cowboy. It's like all. It's different flavors. Some is cowboy, some is. But it's always genre based. And it's always like sort of sexual assault.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. They're not like, it's not like.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's weird. Weird.

[Chris DiStefano]

They're not visual. Women are not visual.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's about the. It's about the narrative. And so I would say picking up from this guy. What I am picking up is an almost an insane lack of aggression in every way. No assertiveness, no nothing. He's been with this woman for 15 years and he's like, oh, shucks, how do I her. Let me call this guy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Let me call these guys on a podcast. Well, guys, what do I do?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so what she's looking more so than putting on a fucking Robin Hood costume. You gotta fucking just kind of be a little more aggressive. Yes. A little more assertive. You have to like try and be. And look, you're clearly been bottling up your resentments. You're too much of a coward to bring them up. I can tell that from his voice.

[Chris DiStefano]

Put.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fuck. Fuck them out.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's annoying. She does. You know what I mean? Like, has she come on. What does she do to piss? You give me some examples of why.

[Chris DiStefano]

Take some alpha brain and fuck your wife.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

What are some wife pet peeves of that you guys have, for example, that.

[Chris DiStefano]

We can tell them. Jesus.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, yeah, just. I mean she's annoyed as soon as I wake up, you know, Like, I don't know, it's like, it's like. Yeah, I'm sorry, hon. I'm sorry that all I'm trying to do is Give you and the family everything they've ever dreamt.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe be more general. Not exactly. Not, you know, like. Yeah, like, get mad at her for when she. When she's pissed off. You're going to levity live on a Wednesday.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm not.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're looking for more general advice than your life on.

[Giannis Pappas]

I bet you she's probably pissed at him because he's on his phone. I'm like, well, I work on the phone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that not everyone could just spin. Honey, we're getting closer. That's.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's all. That's more of a universal.

[Giannis Pappas]

So I would say, yeah, on the phone is probably something that's pissing him off. She's probably always bitching at that. She's probably asking him why he's. Why, you know, his. If his shows ended at 10, why he's home at 11:30 and we're back. I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

There was traffic on the major ticket. And also I went a massage parlor. I'm stressed. It's a legitimate one.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's legitimate.

[Stavros Halkias]

They don't jack you off a massage. Envy.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's a. It's a procedure.

[Giannis Pappas]

My penis is part of my body. It's an organ.

[Chris DiStefano]

I have to have a procedure done.

[Giannis Pappas]

But, yeah, dude, I think that. I'm sure that. I'm sure. I'm sure she's probably just, like, bitching at him like, that they don't have enough. They should be doing better like women are.

[Chris DiStefano]

It does.

[Giannis Pappas]

Jeff Bezos, his wife.

[Stavros Halkias]

I begged you to get off to a more general example, and this is so clearly in the middle of your.

[Giannis Pappas]

Head that they sold the house on Staten Island. It's like you agreed to it.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right. Anyway, whatever is annoying, you take it out on her in the bedroom.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, I think you gotta get a little angrier here. This is. She's kind of. Look, that's my hunch, anyway. I. I don't know. See what she said? But these are. That's what these books are like. You don't have to read them if you want to. Just kind of see how you want to behave. You don't got to. She just wants you to manhandle her a little bit, maybe wear a costume.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I actually don't know if she wants to wear the costume because it might be one of those things. Like, she wants that in her little section of her brain for her, and she wants him to be different.

[Stavros Halkias]

True.

[Giannis Pappas]

So there's.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, there's one solution. To all this. Women are always over complicating. Oh, my God, I love them doing. Just eat her. Yeah. And you're good.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Really?

[Stavros Halkias]

Just all you got to do is with command.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

Eat her with command.

[Giannis Pappas]

And do it from the backward. Get the in the puss at the same time.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just do that.

[Stavros Halkias]

There we go. Finally. Finally some good advice. All right, well, good luck, buddy. We're.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, they deserve that. Women do, you got to admit. They carry us for nine months.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

They get their ripped open and stitched back up. They get these children to suck on their tits. Ruin their tits forever. Ruin their body. The least we can do do is eat her.

[Giannis Pappas]

The least we can do is eat their. Not get a blow job once a year.

[Chris DiStefano]

When I see how great my wife, like, is with my kids, I'm like, this is what. I'll just eat her.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now the FBI's involved.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

When he sees his kids, he thinks of eating his boyfriend's.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love tracking Chris's relationship with appearances on Stavi's World.

[Chris DiStefano]

Where you at now, Chris? Well, I just bought a house. House in the podium.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like the stuff he's been mad about over the last three years.

[Giannis Pappas]

The last version will be you just starting the pod because I woke up sleeping on your couch. I live in the studio.

[Chris DiStefano]

The great thing about being friends with Chris is you get the stories of someone who's lived 20 years in two days. He's got a lot of stories. A lot happens in two days.

[Giannis Pappas]

Two days.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right? So eat some pussy. Be forceful about it. Good luck, little buddy. What else we got, Eldest? Oh, where are we, Eldest? How do we get here? I'm feeling. I'm feeling like we just. Maybe what we did was. Oh, we kept it too twisted. We kept it so twisted. And we got from Queens to the basement of Chicago of a Chicago home we're staying at.

[Chris DiStefano]

Whoa.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're keeping it twisted as a mother effing, huh? Oh, it's time to keep it twisted with some delicious half and half, by the way. Purchase with my own dollars. This wasn't sent to me by the Twisted T Corporation. Oh, man, I can't wait to keep it twisted as hell. Eldis. I guess we've traveled dimensions.

[Eldis Haza]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

To promote the Twisted T Corporation and keep it twisted as a motherfucker.

[Eldis Haza]

Absolutely. We need to help someone who has a really fucked up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is it a really fucked up twisted ass motherfucking question of the week?

[Eldis Haza]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Welcome to the motherfucking ass twisted question of the goddamn week, baby. Sponsored by Twisted T Travel edition. Yes, that's right. Our producer forgot to record the right amount of Twisted Tee ads. So here we are, really late before we have to check out of an Airbnb to keep it twisted. Cause somebody can't read a schedule you.

[Eldis Haza]

Gotta keep up in this fast paced media landscape, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

Someone was keeping it too twisted when he was scheduling all our recordings, it seems like. But hey, we're in the twisted zone right now. We're keeping it twisted as a mother fucking bam match. And let's find out who we're gonna help and what the twisted ass ask question of the goddamn week Travel edition is. Stavi ld what's going on, boys?

[Chris DiStefano]

And esteemed guests. Can't forget them.

[Giannis Pappas]

Got a little bit of a situation last night. My girlfriend, she was getting back from.

[Chris DiStefano]

A week long vacation. I was supposed to pick her up at the airport at midnight.

[Stavros Halkias]

Night about 10:30 rolls around, I sat down to charge my phone and next.

[Giannis Pappas]

Thing you know, I wake up at.

[Stavros Halkias]

2:00Am SAF, she wasn't very happy.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm getting the silent treatment today.

[Chris DiStefano]

Giving me the cold shoulder, telling me she'll talk to me when she's ready.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Giannis Pappas]

What do you boys think I should do? I'm between a rock and a hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Place, you know, I know I up. But also I. I don't know where.

[Giannis Pappas]

To go from here.

[Chris DiStefano]

Any advice is appreciated.

[Giannis Pappas]

Much love to you boys as always.

[Stavros Halkias]

And let's go. Ravens.

[Chris DiStefano]

Peace.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's. This guy kept it way too fucking twisted.

[Chris DiStefano]

First of all, twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

Charge your phone, buddy. What the fuck are you talking about? It's a fuck. You're in a car, dickhead. You charge your phone in the car.

[Eldis Haza]

Well, didn't he say he was supposed to go get her? And he was like, at okay, it's 10:30.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's got to pick. First of all, this man's keeping it twisted as hell. Because. Because when did this happen in the chronology of this call? Like the day before.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So this guy's like, look, I fucking tried everything. He can't even give his girlfriend one day to be mad. You left your girlfriend at the airport at fucking. It wasn't the middle of the day. It's fucking two. It's weird in an airport at fucking 1am 2am you're probably not answering your phone. You kept it too fucking twisted, chief. You should have dialed it back a little. You weren't even. Even your excuse wasn't even that you were having a delicious ice cold Twisted tea. Boo. You just took a nap Pussy. Pussy that fucking doesn't love his girlfriend. That's my verdict. Maybe I'm keeping it twisted as fuck tonight.

[Eldis Haza]

Maybe she's keeping it twisted on him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe she's keeping. She's twisting up and down on another man's prick because this guy left. Because this guy didn't get her in time from the airport.

[Eldis Haza]

Maybe she's keeping it so twisted. This was the misstep she was praying for, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

We've all been there.

[Eldis Haza]

She's like, I'm sick of his fucking.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, fuck, I need some. I need something that'll spark the narrative. My feelings have been gone for months. And she's like, thank you. She was like, I didn't think it would be something this easy.

[Eldis Haza]

I'm going to hold this over him instead of just getting a fucking Uber or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know. I mean that's. Look, it is true. Just get a fuck first of all. Get a fucking Uber. Who are we kidding with this airport bullshit? The airport, I mean, I guess who knows what town they live in but New York City, bro. Like, would I even pick my mother up from. I guess my mom is the one person keep it twisted. But if I'm keeping it all the way twisted. No, she can't. I'll get her an Uber black. I'll fucking spring for the. She'll come in in a Lincoln Navigator. But I'm keeping it twisted at home. Dude going to JFK from Queensland. We're getting a little too inside New York City. But now he might live in a shitty little town with a little dick ass airport where it might be hard to get a. I mean still, the airport is the one place you can get a fucking car no matter what. Yeah, now you kept it too twisted. You're keeping it twisted to the double max by not by being kind. His voice. He sounded annoyed that she was mad at him.

[Eldis Haza]

I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's like, look, I get it, but I'm getting the silent treatment. It's been eight hours.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like she ostensibly went to sleep. So I guess, you know, she doesn't get home till fucking 4am because she's fucking hitchhiking.

[Giannis Pappas]

I am.

[Eldis Haza]

I am curious if she just waited there until 2am when he fucking woke up. But I would assume no. But you never know.

[Stavros Halkias]

She probably waited a bit.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean that you probably wait an hour.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's also like, what if something happened? She's probably also kind of worried. That's. That's what kind of compounds this is if this happens and you ask Your significant other to pick you up. And they don't answer their phone. And you're calling because she's probably calling like, hey, he doesn't answer. She's also probably like, fuck, is he in a car accident?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then it's like, oh, no, he just also. 10:30. What were you doing, buddy? What's your job? Were you a foreman? Were you on the construction site since 4:00am yeah, you kept it too twisted. What do you do from here? I don't know, man. You just kind of. You probably give it one more day and it's probably okay. You kind of shot. Look, you kept it too twisted even calling us, to be honest with you.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah, you gotta give that one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Give it a second. You kind of annoying, but yeah, Or.

[Eldis Haza]

Or maybe she kept it twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe she's keeping it too twisted. This guy's already and doesn't even have a girlfriend anymore. This. You're so right. This could easily become a thing where it's like, you know, I just. At that moment I realized I'll never be a priority. And I know you didn't mean it and I know you're tired. Like, if she hates him, she's so good here, dude. This is unimpeachable excuse to break up with someone.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would say. You know, the problem is this guy's in the keep it twisted no man's land. You either gotta fucking really twi. Dial it up and keep it twisted and be like, get off my back, you fucking bitch.

[Chris DiStefano]

I work.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were on fucking vacation. I wasn't fucking work. Trying to pay for your fucking shit. If it goes more than one day, I say turn the dial up and get even more twisted. Or turn the dial all the way down and just be like, like, oh, oh, okay. Like, she doesn't. She wants to give you a silence treatment. You're good. Go out, get some ice cold twisted teas with the boys. You might attract your next mate.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah, your options are get a twisted tea with her and squash the beef.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Eldis Haza]

Or say her and get a twisted tea with the guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

And.

[Eldis Haza]

And you know, it wasn't meant to be with this anyway.

[Stavros Halkias]

Amen, brother. I don't think I could have said it any better myself. Eldest and that'll do it for this week's twisted ass question of the week. Let's get Back to Chris DiStefano and Giannis Pappas. Oh, what the fuck? Oh. Oh, no. Keep it twisted. What else we got? Eldis.

[Chris DiStefano]

Hey, what's up? Stuff. Eldis. Esteemed guests or Guests. Longtime first time. So listen, I'm an emergency room doc in Baltimore and I'm calling in, I think, with maybe more of a serious or even you could even say kind of a bummer of a question, but really be curious to kind of hear your thoughts and get your advice, especially as a local guy. I've worked here a number of years now. I live in the area. I'm not from here, but I've certainly settled in. And listen, I love my job. I love being an ER shock, love taking care of a lot of gunshot wounds. But I'll be honest with you, man, it's, you know, it's rough and I work in a rough neighborhood. And I'm sorry to say I'm starting to feel some professional burnout. To put it in the lingo, you know, there's like so many startups. Overdose, as you can see, and abuse and violence.

[Giannis Pappas]

The end of this voice.

[Chris DiStefano]

Don't get me wrong, Long. Much rather be the doctor than the patient.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

My side of the stretcher. And I'm grateful for every day I have in my career and things are good. Generally sounds like a suicide. I'm just trying to feel that burnout.

[Stavros Halkias]

When someone starts saying, I'm grateful for every day that I have.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

When he starts talking like he's, you know, like a. Like he just, you know, survived an overdose. That's. That's the tough. When you're just like. And you know, know it's just about. We're all just matter, man. We're all just part of this whole system. Keep going. Let's see what. He just seems depressed, but let's see what he's got generally.

[Chris DiStefano]

But I'm just starting to feel that burnout and working the American healthcare system, as you might imagine, kind of sucks. So listen, I'm just looking for some tips, advice, your perspective. I'd be curious to hear. Where do I go from here? I am ashamed to say I'm thinking about career change long term term. But. But not just yet. But part of me wants to kind of fix the system. Bottom up, top down. I'm not sure. Whoa. But yeah, boy. Looking for your advice on just a manifesto.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right. I like what. He's a big fan of the show.

[Chris DiStefano]

I love you guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

I have actually some great. If you're looking to fix the American healthcare system, are you familiar with a man named Luigi Mangione?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's go, Luigi Mode.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

If. If the end of our voicemail would have ended like ma. I'm doing the Voicemail.

[Chris DiStefano]

I would have known.

[Giannis Pappas]

If that's Luigi, this is actual evidence.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dude, I would love if we found a voicemail from Luigi. Hey, stuff. I'm thinking I got some back problems. I've been. I've been rejected from healthcare. It's like, it seems kind of counterintuitive. You know, these guys are allowed to murder through spreadsheets, but. What? You know, like, by the way, we would have told Luigi. We would have been like, legally, we can't tell you what to do, but sounds like you're on the right track.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'd encourage you to go to betterhelp.com, use promo code.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, we don't. We don't. They sell. They sell their patients information.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're pro therapy. We're anti. Better help.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, pro therapy, baby.

[Stavros Halkias]

We are for sure.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, you're saying you're just pro going and finding. Okay, I thought, I thought that was. Everything's an ad read for me.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Well, all those companies is just. They have to make money somehow and it's like they're just stealing your information.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, yeah, I didn't know that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which is like, you know, hilarious to do for mental health, but. Okay, so this guy is an ER doctor. He's bird. And it's like, it's like. And I get where he's coming from fully. Right. This job sucks.

[Chris DiStefano]

Especially in Baltimore. It's like gunshot wound, gang related. Any.

[Stavros Halkias]

Any ER position, even if you're not involved.

[Chris DiStefano]

What?

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, it's like being like. Like I'm feeling kind of burned out. Like I'm tired of seeing like emergencies and abuse. And it's like, it's like being like. Well, I just like I'm so tired of lunch meats. And it's like. But I work at Subway. It's just like you've picked. You. You work at the tragedy factory, right. And it's like. Yeah, you're sad.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? It's like, it's like I. It's like being like vegan and working at a slaughterhouse. Like you're just. Just like you have a shitty job that sucks dick that we don't.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like pay enough.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, here's the deal. I don't know if you guys know number one profession that commits suicide is doctors.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I, I heard doctors and dentists and all that.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, they do. They commit suicide. A lot of cops.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, because they're. The, The. The internal investigations is closing in on them.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because they thought they. They could have swore. They erased the Body cam footage. But it turns out there was a backup on the cloud.

[Chris DiStefano]

They. They.

[Giannis Pappas]

My daughter's godfather's an ER doctor. And he. He would always say, like, how you think that after 10, 15, he's been doing it like 15 years now. But he's like, you think like, oh, it'll just like, get easier to like, have to tell a family member, like, hey, yeah, somebody so and so didn't make it. He's like, but it just doesn't. It's just hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Giannis Pappas]

He was like, it's just hard. But the reason why the only positive thing about being an ER doctor, obviously nothing to do with. With the work you have to do is they're the only doctors. Like, they work a shift like a 9 to 5 where other doctors are like on call always. So he was like, at least I feel like as an ER doctor, it definitely sucks, but I can escape it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'd be like, you can't get in touch with me for a week. Where if you're like a surgeon, you gotta. You're getting sucked into it at all. All times.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, well. And exactly like, I. That's crazy. He's been a NER doctor that long.

[Giannis Pappas]

Dude, we're the same age. And I'm like, you're so much. I mean, this kid was the youngest person to run an ER in all of New York City. That's like 30 years old. Running the ER where I was like, you know, trying to figure out how to sell out the Maui Taco.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, dude. I mean, and so I think the. I don't think there's any shame in being in doing this job for like these, These are the kinds of jobs that, to me, this should be the kind of thing where you almost do tours of duty. And it's like the way. It's like, you can't go back, you can only go to war that. This many times.

[Giannis Pappas]

Why do you have to do this forever? You have. You don't have that. Like, you did it. You did a great thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course. Change your career and that you're a failure for like. No, dude. First of all, you're in medicine if you want to. If you. And yes, the American healthcare system is a nightmare. Right. And. And so, you know, all you can do, you. It's not a problem to look for a career change long term. I've had people in my family who were nurses in the ER and then were like, I did this for a while. It's too. I want to have a family. I want to do this. It's too stressful. And then they got like jobs that are like kind of cush. You know, you work at a optometrist officer. You work at a. But you know, podiatrist. You're getting insoles for people instead of.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And I'm sure. I don't know what kind of lifestyle he lives, but ER doctors make good money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

But I'm sure like you're a very intelligent guy. You could. Even if you're making less money, you'll be happier doing something else, it seems for sure. Or else you're going to start. Or else you're going to be the doctor that cuts the wrong leg off if you keep taking the stress into work.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Everything in this seems normal to me, except I want to change it from the top down. He says they want to fix the system. Yeah, you're. Don't start.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're not.

[Chris DiStefano]

Dude, nobody can fix anything.

[Giannis Pappas]

You also.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, the thing is too.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's like.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's also like start thinking. Thinking that way.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's like these delusions of grandeur. It's like, dude, you're running ER in Baltimore. Nobody cares. Just stop.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, you're doing. These guys are heroes to me. Them nurses, cops. They have difficult jobs. I think you're right. Have an expiration date, move on, become a padai. But you know, go to a pediatrician.

[Stavros Halkias]

After this and listen, you can't. Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

Make it easier.

[Stavros Halkias]

Top down change. You're not doing. Unless you for a CEO.

[Chris DiStefano]

Don't do that. Don't do that.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're mixed. The podcast is mixed on that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Right. I'm saying no. No violence.

[Stavros Halkias]

Point, counterpoint. You know, I would say commit unspeakable violence even though they're wearing suits.

[Chris DiStefano]

More violence isn't the answer.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know. You know, in the. In the balance it's like a little violence to take down a lot of violence. A lot of people got to prove that next week. Luigi saved a lot of lives those two weeks. United Healthcare was not turning down any chemo for two weeks after Luigi went Luigi Mode anyway.

[Chris DiStefano]

You think he's like the John Brown of the healthcare system?

[Stavros Halkias]

I think it's not. I literally for real don't think it was. I mean it was not good for someone. But it's like. Yeah. Cuz we're getting to the point. CEO.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's the system. So that CEO is just the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. But the. You know, it's a system that has completely escaped any responsibility for what they do. And in fact we laud these People for, you know, they're cutting costs. But it's like that means human life is lo.

[Chris DiStefano]

Like they legitimately kill people for money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. And so that like to me it actually just forcing this conversation of is one guy worse than saying, oh, we have to up our profits 2% so we're actually not. Insulin is now 800% more expensive than 40,000 people or whatever number like is that wor. I really don't think killing one guy is worse than how, how healthcare companies, you know, operate on a day to day basis personally. Right. And at least having that conversation. And obviously I don't want a fucking guy to die, but I don't want, I don't want the people that were rejected by health insurance companies to die either. Right. So either. Whatever.

[Chris DiStefano]

But we also need a longer conversation. Not about like the health of this country, the processed foods, what's allowed preventative care. I mean we are the number one country in preventable fucking disease.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I agree. And my argument would be which puts.

[Chris DiStefano]

A burden on the health. The health care system, which makes it tough.

[Stavros Halkias]

But my argument is profits at all costs.

[Chris DiStefano]

And let's, let's be honest. We're letting these people live too long. If you're 85, think about the young.

[Stavros Halkias]

People'S kind of tough plug. 85.

[Chris DiStefano]

Keeping you alive for. In a machine.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Say your prayers, go to church and.

[Stavros Halkias]

We can do it in a fun way.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Catapult. Yeah, just catapult, you know.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, just like a Jackass movie for elderly people.

[Stavros Halkias]

People.

[Chris DiStefano]

You just launch them. I mean, you know, you know how expensive it is to keep some of these people alive.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

I don't mean, you know, I know you're. I know it's difficult this situation.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, for, but definitely. But either way, the point is.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'm joking.

[Stavros Halkias]

You can't. I. I think old people should.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Die if they want to also. That's another.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Let them do the assisted suicide all day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Put them in that cool Danish pod.

[Chris DiStefano]

Where you get the load up on drugs, dude. There's no consequences.

[Stavros Halkias]

Give him one of those Japanese dick sucking machine.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chinese sperm extractor.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, exactly. Chinese sperm extractor. So we've got a lot of.

[Giannis Pappas]

I got one on Timo.

[Stavros Halkias]

You better hurry. The tariffs are coming, Chris.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So anyway, the point is we have, you know, competing ideas of how to affect change at the highest levels. Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

But Stavros is going for CEO.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but, and, and I agree that most people are not cut out.

[Giannis Pappas]

Starbucks is in for a long Four.

[Stavros Halkias]

Years holding on for dear life. It's gonna be tough, but it's whatever now. But I do think you could make small changes and like, yes, are we gonna. Are we realistically in our lifetime going to get the ideal system that we'd like? But no, probably right. But as a doctor, if you open your own practice and you, you know, help people out with their. You see people who don't have insurance. Like when I didn't have insurance. Insurance I got. I went to a doctor who fucking worked with me. I needed an MRI when I fucked my foot up. I didn't have. It was right before was going good for me. I didn't have fucking money. And this guy was just like, look, insurance over fucking. They re. You know, they charge two grand for these things. It doesn't cost us that. If you can just come here and wait around and just when. If we have a cancellation or we have in between, we could just do your thing real fast. We'll do it to you for 250. Right? And in fact, I found when I didn't have insurance. Insurance doctors were cool about working with you and figuring it out if you, you could do your time essentially, you know, your time here doing a good thing and getting burnt out. And then what if you started your own practice where you did help people out and you, you treated people with the kind of respect.

[Chris DiStefano]

That would be changing the system.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would be the changes.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what I mean. Like, don't think about the whole system. Think about what you can do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. And so there's no. And this weird shame. You shouldn't. It's. I think we're all confused why he's like a shit to be burned out. It makes sense to be fucking burned out. I was a fucking tutor in Baltimore City for a year and I stopped because I was. It was fucking sad. And I was also realized, like, I can't. You have to commit yourself so fully to this that it can't be the kind of part time job you do while you actually care about stand up.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

So it's like, yeah, working in these or being a teacher, like these are tough jobs to do.

[Chris DiStefano]

You can't be in the ER forever. You can't.

[Giannis Pappas]

Dude. And I'll tell you, I don't know if you have. Have you guys ever gotten heard? I had to go to the doctor. A hospital in another country, not Albania.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have. Yeah. So.

[Giannis Pappas]

So what was your. Where your experience was good?

[Stavros Halkias]

Incredible, dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

I. I got an infection in my finger randomly just Chewing my nails in England.

[Stavros Halkias]

Happens to me all the time.

[Giannis Pappas]

In, like, 2012. I think it was 2012. And so, like, my finger was, like, blowing up. Like, my finger, and then it went to my wrist into my elbow. It was like. It was like, just a situation. It just. It was like a real, like, nasty. Yeah. Like, I couldn't even close my hands. And I had. I was only in England for, like, four days. I. I still was going to be there for, like, another 10 days. Like, I. I had no money back then.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, why were you there?

[Giannis Pappas]

I was doing the. The V Festival. I was like, I, like, It was like one of those things. I, like, paid my own way out there. It was me and Mike Lawrence, and we were.

[Stavros Halkias]

You guys hook up?

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, yeah. And we were staying in a house, like, in the outskirts of London from, like, some, like, older comic, whatever. Like, had to, like, call my mom. Like, I did. Didn't actually know what to do. And she was like, honestly, just go to the ER right now and whatever it is, you call me and I'll just. I'll wire you the money. Like, thinking, like, if my own's like, this costs you $10,000. Because we're thinking American system, of course. She's like, I'll just give you the money. Like, you have an infections, go to your heart and whatever. So. So I was like, okay. So I go in there, and I can't even hold a pen because my hand is, like, all up. And so I go. And the. And the er, it's like, you know, little desk. And I'm like, hey, like, you know, I. I have an infection in my finger. And she was like, oh, Lord. And I was like, yeah. And she was like, just fill out your information. So I fill out my information, my left hand. So it's not you. It is not legible. You cannot read what I'm doing. And I'm putting, like, my address, my mom's address, and it's just all. I don't even have a. I don't even know the address where I'm staying in England. And I give it to them. They go, that's fine. And then the doctor is just there, like, behind the desk.

[Stavros Halkias]

And.

[Giannis Pappas]

And he got, you know, full scrubs. And he goes, What's. What's going on? I was like, oh, my infection in my finger. He goes, let me see it. So he showed. He goes, that's an infection? And I said, yeah. He goes, are you allergic to penicillin? I said, no. He was like, you sure? And I was like, no, he goes, all right, come around here. So he opens a door, like, just a little thing. And I go in, and he gives me a shot of pen. Like, almost. I'm Talking about within 90 seconds, he gives me a shot of penicillin in my arm. And then I don't have to go to the pharmacy, just gives me 30 days of penicillin.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And then I say, this is it. He goes, this is it. Just take that. I have to sign one form. And then I'm leaving. And they go, oh, sir, come back. And I'm like, here we go. Like. And I'm thinking. I. I swear to God, I was pulling out my phone to call my mom to be like, explain to me.

[Chris DiStefano]

They came back and they said, also, we just found gonorrhea. So, yeah. Yeah, that pin's gonna be a two for one.

[Giannis Pappas]

We assume, you know, you have std, but this takes care of that.

[Chris DiStefano]

But.

[Giannis Pappas]

But they gave me. They came back because they gave me £20 to take a cab home.

[Chris DiStefano]

Wow.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I was not even a citizen at the time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I just want. And so is that an isolated incident where I just. Maybe yes, maybe no. But I know for a fact in the United States, if I was not a US Citizen, I tried to walk into our ER and do that. That would not happen.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, that's the. And look, again, I do think healthcare is a human right. The way we have, like, running water. The government takes care of water, it takes care of roads, it takes care of these basic things. Not only is it a right, but it's also just better for your society if people aren't worried about going into medical. You know what I mean? Like, just from a cold, rational. Your workforce is healthier if you have.

[Chris DiStefano]

I will say this from.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, I don't care.

[Chris DiStefano]

First of all, I just want to say this. This guy. I was a social worker, and I. The last day, I was like, I. I felt like this. So I. I had to put on a full hazmat suit to go clean out. I worked in an sro, which is, like, formerly homeless people. I had to clean out a guy's room because he had bedbugs, and I had to put a full hazmat suit on. And that was the day where I was like, I can't do this.

[Stavros Halkias]

I just can't do it.

[Chris DiStefano]

So it happens. It happens.

[Stavros Halkias]

And there's no. Nothing to be ashamed of.

[Chris DiStefano]

But here is also what I say from learning from that is poor people in this country do have health care. That's the thing they, the problem, the rich people.

[Stavros Halkias]

I had the best health care when I was on medicine.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, when you're a poor that you get everything. So it's like because I worked with.

[Stavros Halkias]

All those people, it's a little hard. The system is a little hard to navigate though. It kind of. But I mean it's like they don't make it. They don't make it easy for you to get.

[Chris DiStefano]

But you're covered. I mean that's, that's the thing. We do have socialized medicine in this country.

[Stavros Halkias]

One thing America does really well is you're covered in theory a lot of the times. But it's like there's a lot, there's wait list. They make it very Byzantine for you to get some of the, some of this health care. Like I was a comedian. I was a college educated, broke comedian with nothing but time on my hands. So I could just wait around, get my. But it took a while even for me to get like Medicaid. And I will say that it's. Some of these resources are possible, but it's like people don't have the fuck. Especially if you're fucking working jobs or like they have these programs like childcare that in theory are available, but the wait lists are really long long. Like we have that problem a lot with our administration.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's very, I mean, yeah, it varies. It depends on the state you're in, the city you're in, whatever. But they do, you know, have health care. They do have, you know, they get things paid for. You know, the, the problem is you go, should we expand that? Because the people who really get in this country are middle class because the rich can afford it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So they don't worry the poor covered because they're poor. It's the middle that pays everything. The middle that can't hide their taxes, the middle that pays the attack. So it's like that's the real issue in my.

[Stavros Halkias]

And well, yeah, I mean I think.

[Chris DiStefano]

Like do we expand, you know, Medicaid to expand it to cover the middle class? And I say yeah, yeah. I say, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Medic, Medicare for all profit. Shout out to Bernie.

[Giannis Pappas]

You guys made the right choice and our president's going to do that.

[Chris DiStefano]

But it's also complicated because you know, you do this thing with believe in you brother.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's got to sell out MSG on 911.

[Chris DiStefano]

He.

[Stavros Halkias]

Chris cannot, he cannot get Staten island mad at him right now.

[Giannis Pappas]

You guys are all in and you guys know the real dudes do the pre sale still happening preale code 1776.

[Stavros Halkias]

Chris wants no part of this expand socialized medicine conversation.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm like, these guys are.

[Chris DiStefano]

Man.

[Stavros Halkias]

20, 25. Chris doesn't want to have. Have the. How much do we expand the wealth, the health, the welfare state. He's like, no, they got. You gotta, you know, get in line. Our families came here legally through Italy. Forget the part where we.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Idolize murderers and criminals and watch movies about stabbing your friends in the back.

[Giannis Pappas]

I could promise you guys, the guy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Who just says, luigi, for president.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not for president, maybe Secretary of Labor. Secretary of Health and Human Services. Hey, come on.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'm not.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm a moderate.

[Chris DiStefano]

Not president. No, it's mostly true, but, you know, when you do work in that field, you realize, like, a lot of people just can't be helped. You. When you were a social worker, you realize a lot of it is just, like, changing medications, saying, hey, a lot. Some people. We. A lot of SROs were meant to take people off the street and give them, you know, rooms. You know, government paid for rooms and that. They do that. Well, it's a. It's a great idea. New York has it. But a lot of these people I worked with would. Would go back out on the street. Yeah, like, they just like. Like being on the street.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You can smoke crack easier. Get.

[Giannis Pappas]

Some people choose. They choose.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's. Choose. So it's. It's. Yeah. And, like, you know, you do see.

[Stavros Halkias]

A lot more fun than being an ador. And you do.

[Chris DiStefano]

You do see a lot of waste. You do see a lot of, like, what do you do in this situation? It's very complicated.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, right. Absolutely. All right, whatever. Well, you know, whatever, guy. You're.

[Chris DiStefano]

Don't do anything radical, guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just open a nice little mom and pop doctor's office and help people out when they can't, you know, accept tamales as payment. And don't ask too many questions about how they got into the country. And don't snitch.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Lock the doors when ICE comes around. And you're a good guy.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're a good dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

Except no, Chris.

[Giannis Pappas]

All right. Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

No.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, you, dude. Hey, come see my show. September 11th. Migrants get tickets last.

[Stavros Halkias]

Chris, we're trying to move tickets, man. Come on.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Come on.

[Stavros Halkias]

We need the bridge and tunnel boys in.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we know. We love you guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

We need them complaining how it's hard to park around msg.

[Chris DiStefano]

I was just in Disney World, and I'll tell you, those costume Disney characters are not taking their heads off for four years. They are Going to keep those things on. No more smoke breaks. Yeah. They are staying in the Goofy house.

[Stavros Halkias]

Goofy's working construction now either. Thinking them.

[Chris DiStefano]

My favorite is when, like, the adults try to talk to the costume characters. And I'm going, you know, they don't speak English.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Goofy is not American.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is either an a recent immigrant or like a child.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's no in between.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, it's not. There's no labor.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're trying to talk to like, Goofy and the kid. The guy's just talking about how Venezuela is collapsing. He's like, we don't have anything at all.

[Stavros Halkias]

What else we got? Eldis.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, hello.

[E]

I have a question to you. Greek to Greek.

[Stavros Halkias]

There we go.

[E]

So I grew up in a Greek and Italian household.

[Chris DiStefano]

Split 50.

[Stavros Halkias]

50.

[E]

My dad's 100% Italian, second generation. My mom's 100% Greek, first generation, eldest daughter of Greek immigrants. So the culture is obviously still very relevant to me and my family. But Greek wasn't a language that I spoke at home because my dad isn't Greek. So my parents wanted me to feel more connected to the culture. So they put me in Greek school. And of course, my younger brother didn't have to go, but I went for eight years.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love that.

[E]

And when we went to Greek school, they divided us into two groups within each grade. So you had what I call the smart and stupid classes, AKA speaking and non speaking. So I was obviously in the stupid non speaking cohort. And the kids with two Greek parents who spoke it at home were in the speaking smart group. So as you can imagine, kind of like class warfare. But the Greeks in the Greek speaking class would make fun of us in the non speaking class for not knowing the language. And all these teachers were also volunteers. So, you know, in the stupid class, we didn't want to be there because we were being bullied and also because it kind of suck in general. We were obviously awful to those poor teachers and like, okay, I have a good relationship with my dad.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

You see how women just babble on and on. Sorry, just wanted to side note, side note. We obviously, it's like, get to the point.

[Giannis Pappas]

What is it?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Jesus Christ.

[Stavros Halkias]

Minute 13. We. We can't really tell what the question. Yeah, Halfway through. All right, go on.

[E]

Elders, the teachers and like, okay, I have a good relationship with my dad, but I feel like I still have daddy issues because in fourth grade and Greek school, we went through seven different kidio Dimitri's because, you know, we'd be terrible and begged them to stay. And then they'd always leave. And then somehow it always would end up being a new Dimitri back the next week.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dimitri was their teacher.

[E]

Anyways, I obviously didn't really get too much out of Greek school except for trauma. So now. Now in adulthood, I'm 28.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

You know, speaking from someone who's been shot with a gun, I can feel real trauma. I mean, the trauma that you went through, having so many Demetri must have been so difficult. And the class warfare between the speaking and the non speaking Greek populations, I mean, it's. I mean, you must feel like an Armenian in Turkey.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yachty. That's what you get for China, what.

[Chris DiStefano]

It'S like to be black in America. Sorry, I'm coming up as the real for pointing out the obvious.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, so let's, let's. Let's delve further into their deep trauma.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sorry, sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, I think. I think you make a good point. But, you know, that's kind of your fault. I assume you were trying to break up a Hobo 69. And they shot. They shot you. You know, when you. When you broke into their sro, you're like, guys, come on, stop sucking each other, you Greek boy.

[Chris DiStefano]

I remember I had a client who threw a coffee mug at my head, and I had to do the George Bush doc. I mean, she flung it. Yeah, yeah, it's. It's tough.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is. I mean, it's social work. Brutal.

[Chris DiStefano]

Mentally ill population is tough again. And then I got into comedy. I'm like, I can't get out of this business.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. All right, let's see what. Let's see what we got here with our friend.

[E]

So now in adulthood, I'm 28. I'm a single lady.

[Giannis Pappas]

Voicemail.

[E]

Astronomy, God willing, is about to turn 95. Yaya, who, God willing, is about to turn 95, is encouraging me to find a nice Greek boy to date. But I feel kind of weird about it. She and my mom are encouraging me to get more involved at the Greek church, and that's just not something I feel super secure doing. I feel like I'm not Greek enough to be in those.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, this is interesting.

[E]

And if I dated someone Greek, I wouldn't feel Greek enough for them or their family. And I mean, I know I'm Greek. I'm proud to be Greek. I cook all the family recipes. I love the culture, but I feel insecure about my level of Greekness when I'm around other Greek people. I consider you a Greek. You Greek because you're first gentlemen. So I'm interested to hear what you think from your perspective and if you have any advice for trying to get over my fear.

[Stavros Halkias]

We are the right panel here.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, this is it. Two first generous. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Well, to give the. To give the best advice, I think you're going to need to set DM a picture of yourself to st Bro. He'll be able to tell you if you can make a Greek wife or not.

[Stavros Halkias]

That, you know, it wouldn't hurt. It would. I'm not. We're not saying you have to. It would not hurt.

[Chris DiStefano]

And she looks. She's half and half something else. Which is exactly what you said.

[Stavros Halkias]

Italian doesn't quite count.

[Chris DiStefano]

You want something a little more exotic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, Italian Italians and Greeks, like who are we kidding?

[Giannis Pappas]

You want like a Greek Chinese, same thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

I just want a different like Italian culture and Greek culture too, too similar. Particularly American Italians. And it's like Greek Americans and Greek Italians. It's like there's a little too much Guido overlap.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It can be a different Europe, it just has to be a different cult. I just want something that feels markedly different. Right. You know, Greek, German. Yeah, I guess that would qualify. I would put that in near the bottom of my race ranking.

[Chris DiStefano]

White wife, you know, a little Ecuadorian in there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean after that, after what we saw there with the. With the priest.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, she's half Greek, half Hamas. Does that work?

[Stavros Halkias]

It literally does. Look, we've gotten political enough, folks. I won't take the bait on that one, buddy.

[Chris DiStefano]

I think we solved American health care.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I thought I was on Hassan Piker's live stream.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, look, you get Socrates and Aristotle together, we're going to fix some of the world's problems.

[Chris DiStefano]

Listen, if you want to know how to solve the world's problem, tune into Twitch and listen to a hot 28 year old Turkish guy figure it all out.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's 30 now. Your youth is gone, Hassan. You need to start actually reading the book soon. You. You're not going to be sexy forever.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, he is.

[Giannis Pappas]

You 911 denier. You can't deny I'll be doing Madison Square Garden 911 25.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love the idea of a 911 denier. Not saying that it was good being like it didn't happen. Those towers are still up there.

[Giannis Pappas]

There.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, so I can say about here from my perspective, right Who I think, I think we both. I think every, you know, we both feel this way a little bit. I think where I think I definitely don't feel as Greek as I want to be. Right. And I think I probably. I'm much Greeker than this lady. Right? I. I still, I speak Greek pretty well, but I feel like I'd like to be conversational in, like, truly. I. I'd love to. I mean, the. At some point in my life, I'd love for it to be interchangeable. And the frustrating thing, I don't know if you feel this is like, for. For me, it's like talking is my skill. And when I speak Greek, I'm like, I feel like a sixth grader, right. Like, I feel like, so limited and I have thoughts. I want to get out. So I. I empathize with this. Even though I am theoretically Greeker than you. Right. If we're gonna put a. If we're gonna put a thing on it, I think as long if you want to do this, no one is gonna like, grade you on your Greekness.

[Chris DiStefano]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they might. And in fact, if it's something you want, like, I actually have a really good friend of mine who, you know, same thing, first gen, like, grew up similar things. Sent him to Greek school. He didn't learn, kind of does. Didn't really speak, but he has started later in life. He goes and visits his family more. He actually, this is an interesting thing. Something I'm even considering doing is like, hiring like, like a tutor that you zoom with from Greece who, like, you have Greek lessons in Greek and you talk to them and they actually like, critique your speech, you know, and it's like, there's way, you know, watching Greek movies. I have another friend who, he wants to get more in touch and he wants to get better with his language. He watches like cartoons in Greek because it's like, for kids. So simple language, but it's like he's absorbing it and interesting, you know, and like, so there's things you can do. Don't feel insecure about it. I think Greek people love Greek people. So if you're just.

[Chris DiStefano]

If you just are Greek good enough.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then you want to get back. If you have a desire to get Greeker, like, if I brought a Greek girl who didn't really speak Greek, but she was like, I've been, you know, I'm taking lessons and I want to get better at it and I want to learn. My. My mom would be through the roof, dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, and then like, just. Just you compared to a non Greek person, you're already fine. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, but I nailed it. But I think it's good. I Agree. Like there is something to, it's interesting about like something I think about all the time is how like in a couple generations you could just lose an ethnic identity so fast. And that's weird. That's. And everybody deals with that differently. And like time is never gonna be like my neighborhood Greek town in Baltimore. Not that Greek anymore. This neighbor Astoria. Even when I visited as a kid, like my church would come. We would literally come to Astoria when I was like 11. It was way Greeker then 20 years ago.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh yeah. Than it is when I was a kid. It was all Greek.

[Giannis Pappas]

You guys are still on all connected to your first generation. I, I lost my ethnic identity. I'm even Italian, German, Irish. I don't know what I am. Nobody in my. From 100 years plus, no any. Everyone's only ever been American.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So this, this is what happens when you lose it. Just know that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this the cultureless void?

[Giannis Pappas]

You want, you want to move nine times in eight years? That's what's gonna happen.

[Chris DiStefano]

I think also the options are open to this girl because her, her father is not Greek, her mother is Greek. So you could go non Greek.

[Giannis Pappas]

Also the father is more of the one who would be the problem.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh yeah. If the father was Greek, then it's a daughter being Greek. She's pretty much in prison. I mean, so she's got a non Greek father. That means she, you know, he doesn't give a. Yeah. And plus the mother who's Greek, married a non Greek Greek.

[Stavros Halkias]

She broke the seal there. So she's already, she's already ruined the generation.

[Chris DiStefano]

You don't have to go Greek.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. Greek people are like, oh, the bloodline's disgusting. She's half Italian.

[Chris DiStefano]

The Greeks do hate Italians. Yeah. My mother in law married a Sicilian guy and her family disowned her. It's just a true story.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which Sicily is just a Greek island, by the way.

[Chris DiStefano]

Like mostly DNA.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you, even if you look at a map, there's. So the fact that that's considered Italy and not Greece is hilarious.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, the Greeks were like the first to colonize it and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

You know. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

When I went, when I went to Sicily, they have that whole, they have like all like the monuments there that look like you're in Greece, but it's just on the island of Sicily.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Giannis Pappas]

And that's what the tour guide said. They were like, this is Greece.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's so funny. They would. But that's, that's what we're dealing with here. But I would Just say whether you're. This is kind of a general question too, because a lot of people in America, I think, deal with this as an image immigrant. You. You decide, like, do. Is my. Is my immigrant identity important to me? I definitely feel like it is. Elvis, I know you. You. You went back to Albania.

[Giannis Pappas]

Like, I think where you got that turtleneck.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, it's. I do think there is. I think there comes a point, especially like your third. You're getting there, you know, you're 28. Like, for me, it happened like, kind of in my 30s where I'm like, what kind of person do I want to be? You start thinking not just of yourself, but, oh, there's gonna be a generation after me, if I have kids, if my fucking brothers have, you know, my friends have kids. Like, it's not even about you. It becomes like, what do I want to pass down? Because, like, if there's a way for me to, like, you know, guarantee that if I had kids, they'd be as Greek as I am, I take that. But I got this Greek because my parents are Greek as fuck. So me, they. These kids, if I had kids now, the amount of Greek that I speak week, like, with the amount I'm connected to Greece, they'd be Chrissy's.

[Giannis Pappas]

Look at that dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

They'd be regular ass white. Just regular. No time. So, you know, you decide what connection do you want? And by the way, if you do, if you lose the language, whatever, but you just like going to Greece, you like the cult, you're keeping it alive with cooking, whatever. We all find what's important to us and what the level of connection we want and just go with it. Don't feel insecure. But I think there's nothing wrong with working on it. And maybe you'll never be Greek as Maybe you'll never be fluent, but get a little more connect. Get as connected as you have time for, as you feel comfortable with.

[Chris DiStefano]

And I think it's important for you to know you're not alone in feeling insecure about your level of Greekness. I think that is part of being Greek. Every Greek is always trying to out Greek, you know, it's like a thing we all feel insecure about.

[Stavros Halkias]

A level.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

If you're Greek, American, American, or if you live in the diaspora, Greeks will make you feel that way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then definitely when you go to Greece, you're American.

[Chris DiStefano]

You're American.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, I. Yeah, like, I definitely. I made some, like, Greek, like, Greek from Greece friends that weren't that's another thing when you want to feel connected, so. Because when you. When you go and travel, usually it's like, you know, you meet your family. You maybe meet family, friends, people that actually care about you. And then I like made some Greek friends. Friends. And we were cool. They liked me, obviously, but we like. They would get like annoyed and just switch to English. They would just be like, look, don't it. Let's not. Let's forget this, you know, like you're. You're America. You're an American. Like it's cute what you're trying to do.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So just be prepared for that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Another span of. Help it off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Switch to English.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. So just.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's a big deal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Feel okay with whatever you're like. Like that's being an immigrant. It's like you really aren't either place fully. And that's okay. You find what's. You find that little center for yourself.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Just as long as you don't marry a Turk, you'll be fine.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'd be interested in that.

[Chris DiStefano]

That would be actually crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

That'd be great. You know, put aside. Put some tits on Hassan.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean?

[Giannis Pappas]

I'll take Hasan as is. Hasan looks like Buck angel right now.

[Chris DiStefano]

That could be no seasoning. He is. Yeah. Cute as a button.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you say, Els? You got something fun for us to go out on here with our pals, the history hyenas themselves.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah, yeah. Kind of a similar theme, but okay, great.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's fucking repeat ourselves.

[Eldis Haza]

All right, Stavros.

[E]

Elvis. Hello.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love you.

[E]

Not a question, but let's get into it. When I was a kid, my dad, after church on Sundays would bring us to our favorite Greek owned diner in the town that I grew up in. He would request the same waiter every week. And I remember three things about this man. He was Albanian.

[Chris DiStefano]

He.

[E]

He had a name that. I don't remember his name, but he had a name that was like close to a regular name, but one letter off. Like Albert.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sort of like Elvis. Yeah. Wait, it's not Elvis. No, it's eldest. One of your parents was definitely dyslexic. No, he's.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's literally tell. We've said that before. He's named after two women.

[Eldis Haza]

It's my mom's name. My grandma's name put together.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, and yeah, Y is crazy.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your mom's name at least. Real name.

[Eldis Haza]

Yeah. And that too is like close to Elvira.

[Stavros Halkias]

Elyra being El. Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Unlike letter off like Albert or something. So for the sake of the story. That's what we're going to refer to him as. And he had the worst BO I've ever smelled in my life. Like, to this day, you could line up 40 Albanians and I could pick him out in a lineup.

[Stavros Halkias]

That'd be a foreign Albanian.

[Chris DiStefano]

She's like an airport dog for Albanians. Jesus Christ. Canine unit. Albanian canine unit.

[E]

Anyway, there was one day that we were at this restaurant and the diner owner was yelling at this man off to the side.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sometimes you got to sit there.

[E]

He was just berating this man. And I. For years, 15 years ago. But for years, I felt bad for him. I felt so sorry for him. I didn't know why he was talked to and treated that way. But thanks to your show show, your podcast, I've learned so much about the Greek Albanian dynamic. And I know that this Albanian dude, the Greek diner owner, had had it up to here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[E]

With this dude and his inability to bust a table. So I just wanted to thank you. Oh, also, I'm coming to see you in March in your Dream Boat tour.

[Stavros Halkias]

When you're coming to Phoenix.

[E]

But that's all.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you. Maybe you'll see me berating elders for not getting the merch out on time.

[Eldis Haza]

Sometimes. Sometimes you have to let your oppressor lash out to make them think they're in control.

[Stavros Halkias]

You gotta.

[Eldis Haza]

You gotta manage up sometimes.

[Chris DiStefano]

Stavros will be killed by Albanians from the Bronx at some point. Albanians are some of the scariest, toughest dudes. And I want to say right now, I love Albania.

[Giannis Pappas]

I love Albanians as well.

[Stavros Halkias]

A lot.

[Chris DiStefano]

Albanians in Ridgewood?

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, hell yeah, Abi. They were a big crew. I think I said this on the story on this pod before with this chainsaw.

[Stavros Halkias]

Chainsaw. Albanians, people.

[Giannis Pappas]

Albanians will come up to me, you know, on a monthly basis and be like, the chainsaw. I know the guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

They know the Albanian community. Heard it.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's out there, man. Yeah, yeah. Shout out. You know, shout out to our Albanians.

[Chris DiStefano]

I love the Albanians. They're great. And I think, you know, the. The guy who owns Tavernus, he's Albania.

[Stavros Halkias]

BC Grill.

[Chris DiStefano]

Albania.

[Eldis Haza]

And if you really want to get into it, a lot of Greek places around the neighborhood, even around New York City, are, you know, actually Albanian known.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that's just what we said, you idiot. Name two other ones then. We just said two. What are you. How about you?

[Eldis Haza]

There's so many.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you can't even list them.

[Eldis Haza]

BC Grill.

[Stavros Halkias]

I already said BC Grill.

[Giannis Pappas]

I just said he's like, Eldis's kitchen.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's.

[Giannis Pappas]

You guys don't know about.

[Eldis Haza]

It's in the Bronx working on something.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're working on.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is. The more we learn about Albania, the more I do love it. And. And it is funny that you. Well, who was the king? King Zod.

[Eldis Haza]

Zog.

[Stavros Halkias]

Zog. They had a king named Zog in like the 1920s. Yeah, like, this is.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a. Yeah. 1922 to 1939. Yeah, the guy's name was Zod I Sagali. King Zog. He shortened his up like he was making an app. So funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

We just did a history Hyenas episode on Yorgos Gakis.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, Gakis.

[Giannis Pappas]

What a sick.

[Chris DiStefano]

A lot of people are commenting that he was Albanian. Was he Albanian? I don't think he was.

[Stavros Halkias]

How dare you Take that back. Nah, no, you're. They're just trolling. You is the man.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, dude. Dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

He would tell people that. He would say. People. He said, you could. On my dick.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, he said, let. First let me consult my dick. He would talk to his dick about it. My dick said, no, go yourself.

[Stavros Halkias]

The. The stadium Olympiacos plays in is named after him. Elder, see if you can find the Greek letter to the Turks. That classic.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, yeah, we guys read that one. Mr. Pono's voice to create a little disc.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, he called out the Jews. He called out everybody.

[Chris DiStefano]

He was a wild boy.

[Stavros Halkias]

It wasn't God. I. Sky. Yeah, just that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yo, maybe it was kind of sky. Yeah, we did it. We did an episode of it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's just go ahead. Look, I know we're. We're treading on your character, your territory. Why don't you go on the Reddit? You that we're clearly mature, content.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, I don't want to look at it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. What happened? Reddit doesn't like. Yeah, this is.

[Chris DiStefano]

There it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, let's read it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Okay, I'll let you read it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Chris DiStefano]

And you're gonna have to do that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Read it in Greek.

[Chris DiStefano]

First line is the tough one to resid.

[Stavros Halkias]

To resid. Mehmed Pasha Kutahi in Athens. Well, first of all, let me read it in Greek. I won't say who starts with an M. Your face.

[Chris DiStefano]

You get killed if you draw them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. And your guy, he says, said this, though. What do you think you're doing, cuckles? Don't you have shame asking us to negotiate with a koja Shit salt Medite. Let me shit on him. And your vizier. And that Jew, Siltar Boda that bitch. If I live, I will them. If I die, they will fart my dick. The general has signed on. 420, by the way. Way. 1827.

[Giannis Pappas]

The General.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, my God, dude. That's our general. If I live, I'll them. If I die, they'll fart on my dick.

[Chris DiStefano]

This guy gives no.

[Stavros Halkias]

The vizier in that Jew Silar Boda the.

[Chris DiStefano]

He's basically saying, if I live, I will you, and if I die, I know you'll me, but I will fart on your dick because I never will stop getting revenge.

[Stavros Halkias]

Also, by the. The way that he. She called. Yeah, he called him a. Yeah, he called him. He didn't even call him a. He basically called him a. Yeah, Buddhan. Incredible stuff.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, this guy was wild, dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

If I live, I will them. If I die, they will fart my dick.

[Giannis Pappas]

Legend.

[Chris DiStefano]

This guy had. He had tuberculosis his whole life. He didn't give a.

[Giannis Pappas]

Then there was. They were. They like, had the Turks on. On the ropes and, you know, they could have just, like, walked away, but then he stood up on a rock and started taunting them, and he pulled his ass and dick out and somebody shot him in the.

[Chris DiStefano]

Shot him in the ass.

[Giannis Pappas]

Died.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, he. He mooned them. He mooned them. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, my God.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, he. He had personality.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's the man.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, he's an amazing, wild character from history. History.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's the man.

[Chris DiStefano]

Kid had a little bit of a leaky roof, but he was fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

These are the guys that took back Greece from the Turks.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, they were a wild bunch.

[Stavros Halkias]

You, Hassan? We got it back. You might have us, but we got it back with General, with heroes like George Karai, Skakis. Well, fellas, thank you so much. What a episode. So fun. Always great listen to history. Hyenas. Go see Chrissy. Go see Giannis. We'll put. We'll put on blicks, whatever, and come see us on the Dream Boat tour. We're probably halfway through it by now, or some way through it. Hopefully it started. Who knows? That's the episode. We'll see you soon. Bye.