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Stavros Halkias
There's a myth. A lot of us grow up believing.
Julio Gallarotti
That hair loss is just a part of life. It happens, it runs in the family. And once it starts, there's no stopping it. But here's the truth. That's outdated thinking. Scientific understanding of hair loss has advanced in recent years. Today we have a deeper knowledge of underlying causes and we've developed science backed solutions that are both effective and safe. And that's at the very root of Happy Head. Dermatologists led innovation offering stronger FDA approved ingredients that work. But what really sets Happy Head apart is how personalized it is. They don't do one size fits all fixes. You fill out a comprehensive consultation and their board certified dermatologists assign a formula specifically for your hair loss pattern, goals and lifestyle. And whether you're early in your journey or more advanced, Happy Head offers targeted options that actually work. Topical treatments, oral capsules, or potent dual.
Stavros Halkias
Action bundles, all deliver directly to you.
Julio Gallarotti
Discreetly and freshly compounded. In the US most people start seeing results in three to six months. But the real magic, it's sustainable. This isn't just about growing hair, it's about keeping it long term. So no, hair loss isn't inevitable anymore. Visit happyhead.com and find out what's possible when science, expertise and personalization come together. Hair happiness starts here. Folks, we got a great episode coming up with my pals Ricky and Julio. But we want to let you know, of course we've been doing this thing where we're using our podcast to actually promote the dates we do. Novel concept, almost two years in for us to consider. But I am coming to the UK and Ireland September 6th. I'll be in London September and 7th. Now we've added a show at the O2 Shepherd's Bush Empire in London, Dublin. I will be there on Friday, September 12, Manchester, September 13, Glasgow. We've added a late show. So September 14, Sunday we'll do a early show and a late show and then stateside. We're coming to Memphis November 6th, Huntsville November 7th, Chattanooga on the 8th, Knoxville November 9th, Asheville November 10th, Greensboro on the 12th, Wilmington the 14th and Myrtle beach the 16th. And then of course we are have, we have shows in Austin on November 22nd and Boston at the Wilbur on December 13th. So we hope to see you there. And now let's start the freaking show. Welcome Everybody to Stavi's World. 904800 Stop call in, we'll solve all your problems on the couch. Got two of our pals, Ricky Velez, Julio Gallarotti. How we do Julia returning, freed from the shackles of patreon, breathing fresh YouTube air. Really fresh. Fresh Apple podcast.
Ricky Velez
And dude, the last time I did this was like, probably one of the worst days of my life.
Julio Gallarotti
Wait, what happened?
Ricky Velez
I got unbelievably high.
Julio Gallarotti
I remember that. That was awesome.
Stavros Halkias
He texted me and he's like, stop. Got me so high. And now I have to do the podcast.
Julio Gallarotti
You know, it's funny. We just. We just did Kush Brothers for the first time in a while because I had taken some time off and I. We got so smacked like this. Everybody, everyone was high. Like, I don't even know if it was listenable, but. And we were like. And then we were like. And then we were like, damn. Then we're like, wait, who got so high? They stopped talking. And it was. And then like, all right, Julia, you were just in there, like, scared, dude. I was so scared.
Ricky Velez
JP was bugging me out for some reason.
Stavros Halkias
Why you agree to do it?
Ricky Velez
Because, dude, cuz I'm. I'm just trying to like, get my to pop off, bro.
Julio Gallarotti
Damn, dude, I wouldn't have made you smoke weed. I'm sorry.
Ricky Velez
I smoked tons of weed in my life.
Julio Gallarotti
I don't know.
Ricky Velez
I just got really high.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. Yeah, we can turn this into Kush Brothers. That was so funny. I know, dude. We got so high too. We were just. Because, you know, there's evil weed out there, man. There's evil weed that's ready to just completely destroy you. How was the rest of your day, man? After that? Were you able.
Ricky Velez
It was bad, dude.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, it was bad.
Ricky Velez
I got really, really, really deeply high and thought terrible things and then took them with me into sobriety.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. Oh, no. We just fucking made you plunge sp.
Ricky Velez
Of a week in every possible way, dude. Like, it was wild, like in the moment. Like about my life. About like my pants too were like riding up weird. And I was like, is my just like front and center on the show now?
Julio Gallarotti
I'm like, completely. You see what we do for your entertainment? You see what I do to my friends so you can wash dishes happier? That's so funny, dude.
Ricky Velez
Amazing.
Julio Gallarotti
Anything we can do? Can we cure you? Were there any worries that we can kind of talk through. Through now? Have you kept them up?
Ricky Velez
I'm back, baby.
Julio Gallarotti
You're back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so anyway, you're not a big smoker, so I try.
Ricky Velez
Like, I. I was the guy who smoked because everyone else was and like, hated it every time, but kept doing it for like 10 years.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, I feel like when we first met, you smoked. You did smoke. Everyone smoked. It was a big. That. I mean, that was probably when me and Eldis were in our very large. Our big weed smoking days. The first couple years of this apartment. The first like four years of this apartment. And that's when we met back at, you know, that's when we all met way back in the day at the old stand. Yep.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
Which is now con. It is. It is hilarious to be like, to get here to have some New York memories and other peoples are like, you know, oh, we saw so many, you know, oh, I remember that. That loft the artists were in. It's like, oh, we did like shitty Sunday spots at a building that is now a high rise condo. Like, we have no. There's no like romance to any of our New York like, memories. It's like it's all just dog turned over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I think that's the romance of New York at this point.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Just being ready for new.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah. But it's all. But I would like it for. For it not to every single time be like the shittiest glass condo you've ever seen in your life for just like the. Just like, you know, just takes. Just Murray Hill expanding, you know what I mean? Like, that's unfortunately what it feels like on that side of town on like, you know, like the east side. It's like, it really is just kind of bull, you know, blending into that shit you're for. You grew up here, though. You grew up in.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I'm a lifer, man.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I don't know how I feel about it anymore. I used to be hype about it like New York and you want to get out, bro, I don't know if I want to get out, but I want something to change, like some really not helpful attitude. So listen to it. Like, I grew up in Queens, but I GRE up in Queens Village. So last stop, F train plus a bus.
Julio Gallarotti
Love that.
Stavros Halkias
All right.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I worked so hard to move into the city and then the city turned into the hood.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And like after Covid, like, I had to like, kind of like deal with a lot more than I ever wanted to. If I came back to Queens, it would be wild. It would be really wild.
Julio Gallarotti
Come back as a conquering hero.
Stavros Halkias
Dudes move right next door to a cop. Moving to Bayside or Whitestone or something. I just like, I don't know. I don't want to raise a queen's kid.
Julio Gallarotti
You want to raise a Manhattan kid? She's a kid. Just you know what piece of that's gonna be. Sorry, you're already like a few years in. So I don't wanna. He's a cute kid and everything, but the odds are stacked against that. Like, look at like a good friend of the show, Sam Morrill. He calls his super to hang pictures. Do you understand that? Do you understand that's who you're raising, bro?
Stavros Halkias
You know what's really funny? Something funny. I heard this the other day and I love this. Amel goes to the same like exercise with a trainer as like all the moms at my kids school.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, like he your son's future, bro. That's what I'm telling you. Like if you raise a kid in Manhattan, he's going to not be able to drive. He's going to be like, you know what I mean? Like he's going to be scared of parking lot.
Stavros Halkias
I, I don't really, I don't drive anymore. I gave up my license.
Julio Gallarotti
Okay. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, a moment of like a sacrifice just.
Stavros Halkias
I knew if I got, if I got in a car accident, someone was going to be like, oh well, he's always stoned and I'm going to get sued or something. So I was like, yeah, this is.
Julio Gallarotti
And you were like, may. You weren't like, maybe let me think about reducing my weed intake to the point where it's not a constant fear of getting caught doing something wrong. You're like, I will give up driving. Driving or weed. It's like, well, I mean it's not going to be.
Stavros Halkias
I also had to renew in like the first three weeks of COVID and I was not going to the dm.
Julio Gallarotti
Okay, okay, all right, fair.
Ricky Velez
He's a very high functioning smoker though. I always like in the press, like the most challenging task. He's like, I think weed would help me here.
Julio Gallarotti
Well, I kind of agree in that there is an adventure. I got to the point where I was like so depressed that I didn't want to just do like, well, I'm in a. I'm. Now I'm. I'm not like this, but I would get in a zone where I was like, I don't want to do it sober, cuz it sucks. I want to like, if I get so high, it's a challenge to even like go to the grocery store. I feel like I've accomplished something. You know what I mean? Like if you get so debilitatingly fucked up that you're like, all right, I can go buy ice cream, you Know what I mean? Like, you have to, like, you, like, I can go to the grocery store. Yeah, you have to be like, all right, it's going to take me 40 minutes to get dressed. You know, like, put on a podcast to, like, tie your shoes. Like, I would get that high so that I would just do. So make a task. A task like that could take four hours. When you're, like, depressed, you just want to. Like, you're not depressed enough to kill yourself, but you'd like to get closer to death so you're like, how slow. How much juice can I get out of one activity? Can this day move? Can I move my life forward one day without really feeling it, you know? And that's how I would look. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a real coward's way to go. About to go about, like, self harm. It's like, I don't want to end my life, but I want to steal one day of my life for myself.
Stavros Halkias
Plenty.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
That'S fine.
Julio Gallarotti
I think that's fine. I'm good, man.
Stavros Halkias
It makes me more creative for sure.
Julio Gallarotti
But then I don't know if it does either. I'm. I'm kind of. Maybe you. For me, I think it. I don't know if it makes me more creative. I think I'm just dumb as hell. And like, you know, I watch movies, dude, I would watch movies and forget I saw that. What I saw.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, yeah, no, that happens. Yeah. That's being high.
Julio Gallarotti
I would throw in a movie four times in a row and the fourth time be like, wait, I've seen this. You know, like that kind of. But, you know.
Ricky Velez
Yeah, I'm a drinker for sure, dude. Like, every drug makes me hate myself. Like, when I drink. Like, it gives me confidence in this way. That's not like, it makes me break out of my shell. Like, I feel like, fairly well adjusted socially.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, Yeah.
Ricky Velez
I just like myself more. Like, I can drink alone.
Stavros Halkias
He drinks alone.
Julio Gallarotti
I like how. How, like, best time I have a good relationship. How uncomfortable you were with me describing how I spoke weed. I feel the exact same way with what you're saying right now. It makes me like myself. I'll drink it al.
Stavros Halkias
He gets st. He gets stoned. You get drunk.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah.
Stavros Halkias
We watch you both crumble, honestly.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, dude.
Ricky Velez
I look at the TV and I see my reflection in the tv and I'll just be like, you're the man, dude.
Julio Gallarotti
The first. The first.
Stavros Halkias
The first big trip he took there to Africa. To Africa. We were shitface in Rochester and he booked Tickets to Africa.
Ricky Velez
Wasted. Woke up. I was like, all right, I got some. Like, I wasn't sure if I was going to go, is this sketch or whatever?
Stavros Halkias
Like, he also banged a girl that looked like little yachty that day.
Julio Gallarotti
Dude.
Ricky Velez
I told this story the other day. I was like, I think, dude, it was on. On anus. You just did.
Julio Gallarotti
Right?
Ricky Velez
Anyway, I was like, dude, Ricky keeps telling me that I banged a girl who looks like Lil Y.
Julio Gallarotti
Had the beads. She had the beads. Beads isn't necessarily bad. If she did, you know, I don't mind the beads. The mustache would be more the problem.
Stavros Halkias
For me, the hitting the beads, hitting each other while you banged had to be hilarious.
Julio Gallarotti
Cool.
Ricky Velez
It was a great experience, dude.
Julio Gallarotti
And.
Ricky Velez
And yeah, and it was a full on sloppy second situation. She's like, I'm going to try with the headliner.
Julio Gallarotti
Wow, really?
Ricky Velez
And it was very clear. And then she looked at me, she was like, yeah, I guess.
Stavros Halkias
This will be good.
Julio Gallarotti
Were you comedy at the Carlson?
Stavros Halkias
I believe we absolutely were there. That's a big empty room, dude.
Julio Gallarotti
By the way, I know that place.
Stavros Halkias
Absolute 12 people at the show got banged, dude.
Ricky Velez
Lil Sass said one of the funniest things I've heard about that place. I was like, how many places did that see? He goes, I think 200, but it seems like it seats 4,000.
Julio Gallarotti
It is insane. I know, I know. I do. I do weirdly, like Rochester though, man.
Stavros Halkias
That's like the only place I've almost gotten arrested. He was. Yeah, they really didn't like me. Same trip, dude.
Ricky Velez
I can fully corroborate this.
Stavros Halkias
Tried to plant coke on me and, like, it was wild, bro.
Julio Gallarotti
Wow.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
What the fuck? They just didn't like, where was this? Like, were you guys were out and about or.
Ricky Velez
Dude.
Julio Gallarotti
Okay.
Ricky Velez
And correct me if this is wrong.
Julio Gallarotti
Before or after?
Ricky Velez
You'd love to hear. So we get.
Julio Gallarotti
So this is the day before or after you fucked the little yachty.
Ricky Velez
This is. This is the day after the morning before.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, morning before.
Stavros Halkias
Maybe she could have shows.
Ricky Velez
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
This is what happened.
Ricky Velez
He. He leaves weed out in the room.
Julio Gallarotti
We're sharing a room.
Ricky Velez
Okay.
Stavros Halkias
We announce it's a good amount.
Julio Gallarotti
We don't do drugs beyond in a hotel.
Stavros Halkias
I don't do drugs beyond that in a hot.
Ricky Velez
No one was smoking in the room and apparently leaving in it.
Julio Gallarotti
By the way, you put it in the drawer, man.
Stavros Halkias
I was late to radio, so I just made that, like jump up. I didn't even have a shirt underneath my jacket.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, I see, I see.
Stavros Halkias
I didn't have a shirt.
Ricky Velez
That's part of the story. Because the guy's like, we heard there was cocaine in your room. And we're both like, what? Ricky's trying to argue there's no cocaine in the room while he's wearing a jacket with no shirt. The odds were against us.
Julio Gallarotti
So you're. This is after radio pictures in my.
Stavros Halkias
Room brought it down. I think she thought she was. But, like, dude, I'm not kidding.
Julio Gallarotti
There was no coke.
Stavros Halkias
To the point like, dude, I made.
Julio Gallarotti
Taking pictures.
Stavros Halkias
I know what.
Julio Gallarotti
That's breaking the code. It was crazy. How dare you? I thought. I thought the. The Marriott. I thought the Spring Hill Suites were a safe place. Apparently not. You know what I mean? Like, that's so up, dude. That's crazy. I feel like I've left out a lot of crazy shit. Hotel maids must see insane spreads of stuff.
Stavros Halkias
That's what I'm saying. But, bro, no cocaine. Nothing. And then they started trying to say shit. And I had, at this point, put the. They let me back into my room, and the weed was still out and everything. And they're bringing the cops now. So I just put the weed into the ceiling.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh, wow. But it had been already photographed.
Stavros Halkias
But at the same time, find it now.
Julio Gallarotti
Dude.
Stavros Halkias
We'Re not gonna play this game like you don't have a search. Warren, get this made out of my room. Get this.
Julio Gallarotti
Manage.
Stavros Halkias
I just started screaming. And I actually had called my agent, and to this day, I still don't know what he said.
Julio Gallarotti
Right.
Stavros Halkias
But I'm pretty sure the Rochester police get to sit up front during Kevin Hart.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And then my agency had, like, a talk to me about coke. And I was like, that's not my thing. It's not my. It was so annoying.
Julio Gallarotti
That is.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, yeah. So I've never been back since.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. Yeah, that was crazy.
Stavros Halkias
I'm good on that one.
Ricky Velez
You know, just the. The sort of legacy of a drug problem hanging over a place. It felt like that.
Stavros Halkias
But they told us. They told us there's, like, so many problems with, like, fentanyl and whatnot, that they were so serious about all drugs in that town.
Julio Gallarotti
Also, the who the is this snitch.
Stavros Halkias
Made you want to hear? That's not the first snitch made I've had.
Julio Gallarotti
Really?
Stavros Halkias
Yo, bro from the force, use it for a second.
Julio Gallarotti
Okay. What'd you do?
Stavros Halkias
The week before my special, I was like, one of the first specials that tasted this test was after Covid.
Julio Gallarotti
Okay?
Stavros Halkias
So we had to. We had. I had to come back and Test for everything before. So I had to. And there was a hurricane hitting New York. So they're like, yo, you might not get in in time. You have to leave Atlanta. And I was doing the laughing school. I was taking care of myself. So I want to stay in a nice hotel, stay in the four seasons, go into my special, have a great time. Yeah, I go ahead and I leave. I leave. I have to leave early now. So I have the room for two, three more days. I leave a note of the ounce I had being like, hey, I had to leave town early. This is good weed. Here's a tip.
Julio Gallarotti
Here's some weed, bro. You tried to dim her with weed?
Stavros Halkias
$1200 incidental fee. 1200 the week.
Julio Gallarotti
Thank you guys for being a good Samaritan.
Stavros Halkias
Yo, dude. So I wrote back. What are you talking about? Like, what? That was cbd. It's not against the law in Atlanta to smoke cbd. That's cbd. And they're like, that's fine, but you're banned from the four. And you know what?
Julio Gallarotti
That's crazy.
Stavros Halkias
Also then I was on a tour that was sponsored by the season. So I'm back. I'm back and behaving. I'm back and behaving.
Julio Gallarotti
You're back. No, not trying to tip maids with drugs. I do love that. It's like the story was like, yeah, I had a snitch made. Which was you being like, this is the illegal substance I am leaving you. It's very high quality. Enjoy.
Stavros Halkias
I just thought people in Atlanta were cooler. Have you been to dinner in Atlanta?
Julio Gallarotti
I like Atlanta. I do love Atlanta. I think where you up was. You should have take. Dude, give it to the host. You make his year.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I messed. I messed up.
Julio Gallarotti
I messed up.
Stavros Halkias
Free drugs.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. I do love that, though, because I often, like, on the road, we'll get a ton of drugs or whatever, and when you fly back, you can't. So when you give it to, like an opener or like, you know, let's say you've made a friend. Oh, you little yachty style friend. You know what I mean? Like, there are benefits to hooking up with a comedian right before they have to go on a flight with a lot of drugs. It's like I've given girls a lot, like thousands of dollars of weed and mushrooms because I'm like, I just gotta, you know, and that's like a fun little. So if you're trying. Listen, if you want to. If you're thinking about having sex with me, try and plan it. When I Have a long flight coming up. Yeah, because you might also get. You might also get some weed out of it. You might get some mushrooms. Some pills are actually pretty easy to fly with, so you won't get any of those.
Stavros Halkias
But you know, I never. I never fly out with it. Out of the south. Everything stays. Yeah, I'm one of those too. Yeah, Everything must go. You ever take the bag from the airport?
Julio Gallarotti
What do you mean?
Stavros Halkias
You know, in Colorado when you land there's a Dispose of. Just open up that thing and take the bag.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh, that's smart.
Stavros Halkias
Now you just got a handful of drugs.
Julio Gallarotti
They should. Yeah, yeah. Just put your hand in there and just.
Stavros Halkias
No, take the bag.
Julio Gallarotti
The whole bag.
Stavros Halkias
Just take the bag.
Julio Gallarotti
The plastic bag. Yes, Interesting. That's. That is a good move.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
You should do that when you come into Denver. You know what I mean? Where it's like. Yeah, yeah, that's like the like little. That's smart. I'll just make a note, dude.
Ricky Velez
Oh yeah. Remember that.
Julio Gallarotti
Although I think we probably shouldn't. I think I might only smoke weed on tour weirdly because it's like when I'm back here because we smoke weed. We got so high and it really ruined a couple days of my life. Like I got way too high and it was one of those like Keith infused.
Ricky Velez
Oh God.
Stavros Halkias
Like that's too much.
Julio Gallarotti
It was too much.
Stavros Halkias
And I know that the dog walkers are where you gotta.
Julio Gallarotti
I like dog walkers too. I do. We were sm. We were definitely using those a bunch. But I think I have to stop in my day, at least for right now. Cuz I'm also trying to be less fat and it really triggered like I got high and I was. And I don't have anything that bad in here, but I was really. I'm making fat concoctions. You know what I mean?
Ricky Velez
And dude, the, the like you get high and you have like a high binge eating session and it permanently adjusts your appetite.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ricky Velez
You just have a big ass stomach.
Julio Gallarotti
And you can eat so much more.
Stavros Halkias
I like believe if I put like, like lettuce and tomato on it, I'm cool.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the classic dude. For years my move when I was being healthy was buffalo wings and then a salad. It wasn't like. It wasn't not buffalo wings. It was like. It was like a salad with a little girl like me and Bobby Kelly for. That was like. That was fat delusion. You should some. Some room service and like after show bills. Some. There was some disgusting things being ordered when I was like, when I was first opening for Bobby because I poor. And he just wanted someone to, to like, you know, be codependent with him. And we just. There was a couple years where it was. It lined up so beautifully. That's like, like, like, like norm and.
Stavros Halkias
Arty dude, for real.
Julio Gallarotti
If you, if you were able. If there was like a one of those black mirror like simulation, like I would take a vacation. I would use one of my vacations to go on one of those meals with Bobby again, you know, like we stopped at a random place and got dim sum and it was like no one else is there. And I, like, there were like eight attendant. Like we ordered so much fucking food. It was incredible. It was like they almost like opened the restaurant. I feel like they were closed. And they saw two incredibly fat guys coming out of a rental car and they were like, all right, so I know I told you get a lunch break, but get back in. Let's get the broilers. It was literally empty except for us. And they gave us full. And we must. He must have spent hundreds of dollars. You know, it was like a 500, like dim sum meal probably. Hell yeah. It was good stuff, man. Those vices are beautiful. But yes, it has completely reset me. I was all day yesterday. I'm peptoed up. We. Pepto was a big. A big. We should try and get sponsored by Pepto next tour. Because we were guzzling pepto. Dude. It really, you know. Oh, baby. Summertime is in full swing here. July. Time to kick back, enjoy yourself, have some delicious beverages. And there's no beverage more delicious or more refreshing for my money, than an ice cold, twisted tea. That's right. Real brewed with real iced tea and 5% alcohol. Tastes like real iced tea because it's brewed with real tea. No bullshit, no weird chemically bull. It's actual tea. Nice little kick. 5% perfect. You don't need nothing more than that. You know what I mean? Just have a good time at the picnic. Don't make a. Don't make a fool of yourself. Very refreshing. Full flavor. They got raspberry, peach. They got a half and half. Situation goes down smooth. No carbonation. You know how much I hate when carbonation gets in the way of me chugging the delicious bevy at the beach, at the park. You know what I'm saying? I. You know, I did a whole year of sobriety and one of the hardest things I had doing that for health reasons. One of the hardest things, for weight reasons, not having a Nice, cold, twisted tea. I've been sucking them down on my balcony this summer, and I hope you'll suck them down and suck them off with me. That's right. Twisted tea, folks. Grab a refreshing twisted tea today. And remember, keep it twisted.
Stavros Halkias
Are you drinking, too?
Julio Gallarotti
I had not been drinking for a while. I drank for the first time, like, a week ago, and I liked it. And I did have that old. Like, oh, this is. Oh, yeah, this is pretty fun. But then you. It's like the same as weed, plus you eat, plus alcohol, your stomach up. So it was like, I'm kind of going on two different. I had basically a day of alcohol and snacks, diarrhea, and then I was getting over it, and then I got high, and then I got, like, over. And so I'm just riding, like, I'm riding a diarrhea wave for the last, like, four or five days. And I'm really trying to stabilize right now, dude. Like, I haven't. I haven't had any. I haven't had anything to eat today except pep. I had Pepto for breakfast, and so, you know, I don't know what I'll even have. Maybe I'll have, like, a plain bagel later just to kind of, you know, feed it a little.
Stavros Halkias
I was thinking some prosciutto today.
Julio Gallarotti
Some Brigitte, just. Yeah, it's nice, dude. I love Brigitte.
Stavros Halkias
It's just an e. It feels not as bad as it is.
Julio Gallarotti
I don't think it's that bad.
Stavros Halkias
Now this is filled with salt.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh, yeah. I mean that. But come on, it's not, you know, it's not no big deal. Salt, I don't even consider. Dude, salt doesn't. I haven't even. I'm years away from thinking about salt, dude. I'm just trying to not eat 8,000 calories a day. My shit is salty as I meal prep. And it's. It's pretty. You know, I do a cup, but, like, the salt is getting. It's. Everything's being hit with salt. Vegetables, dude. I'm basically, like, eating preserved vegetables. You know what I mean? Like, the amount of, like, salt on asparagus and what's the longest you go?
Stavros Halkias
Being a good boy.
Julio Gallarotti
I'm on a pretty good streak, actually. We did. You know, even on tour, you've been.
Stavros Halkias
Shitting for two days.
Julio Gallarotti
This isn't that bad, dude. This is contained. And they come back, come back. Like, if.
Caller
If.
Julio Gallarotti
If I. If I lose it this weekend, then we're in trouble. But I think I can stabilize. I think you know, I'm going back to Baltimore. I'm going to visit my family for a little bit. I'm going to, I hate my kitchen in this shitty apartment. I'm literally going to cook and take it to like, I literally have a system where I cook in Baltimore and bring it here and like freeze it and I have like little meals that I eat. So I'm going to get in there. But I did, you know, I did pretty good with the occasional lapses. The difference this year has been I've been able to like, kind of. I've been dabbling with the ice. Before the tour, I started taking like fat guy medicines. Like the. Not Ozempic, but it's. Yeah, yeah. And it was because I was losing weight, but I was like every other year of my life when I'm on this shit, when I'm on tour, I gain 30 pounds. And so that's helped because one thing it's really done for me is that normally I don't, I have one of these relapses off food. And I don't. We've said it before. My, my personal motto, the best day, the best you can ever feel is day one of a relapse. Because you have all the health of being sober, but your body, but you're the enjoyment of the drug. And so usually the first day I ate like shit, it wouldn't really affect my body, but because the medicine, it punishes you. The medicine makes you shit if you overdo it. So it kind of. I'm at a. I've been on a bender for a month level and that's good, actually. I deserve to feel. I know this is, people are hearing this like you have an insane eating disorder. And I do. But I do deserve to feel pain for how I've treated myself, you know, off the weed and, you know, all the up I was eating. So, you know, we're getting it together. But that is my main vice, obviously. I'm a food guy.
Stavros Halkias
I've been. My thing is like, I take like one month where I go 30 days. Days.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh, wow. And then a year. One month.
Stavros Halkias
No, I do it like three times a year.
Julio Gallarotti
Okay, I like that.
Stavros Halkias
But I'm just learning to beat myself up more in between. It's like there's no.
Julio Gallarotti
So you're just getting more bang for your buck when you.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I'm going for it. When it's time to go, it's go time.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. And you're just smoking weed. Are you drinking too?
Stavros Halkias
No, I, I, I drink, but I don't drink liquor anymore, dude. I'm a chardonnay boy. I'm acting like I know what I'm putting down. I'm making me text ass.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, but it's always Chardonnay.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
Just different.
Stavros Halkias
Chardonnay, the closest thing you can get to it. You can bring me a Sancerre every.
Julio Gallarotti
Once in a while. Hell yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Respect. I love sitting outside drinking something.
Julio Gallarotti
I. I reiterate what I'm saying. Some ice cubes too.
Stavros Halkias
I might drop one in Manhattan.
Julio Gallarotti
Child with a dad who drinks Chardonnay, dude. I'm just reiterating it, brother. You're gonna have to take this kid to Queens for middle school, dude. You know what I mean? You're gonna have to take him out of the.
Stavros Halkias
I might bring him to the woods.
Julio Gallarotti
I just bought a Golden. Really? Are you thinking about woods?
Stavros Halkias
I would like the woods, man. I can find peace in the woods. I. I like water, though.
Julio Gallarotti
I really like water guy too.
Stavros Halkias
Every time I see it, I just like, I can stare at it for days. So I really like water if I could.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, water's all. I mean, soon. I mean, that's the other thing. It's like, who. Everything's going to be waterfront property here. Like, you know what I mean? If you live. Actually stay in Manhattan if you want water, dude.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I'm in the middle of the island too. I'll be good.
Julio Gallarotti
Perfect. Yeah. You're going to have waterfront property. Yeah, no, I, I def. And definitely, vacation wise, I'm always a water guy. Yeah, I know you're over there, Mr. Exotic. Going all over the place to go with them.
Stavros Halkias
Time to time. I'm like, dude, I want to go to Dominican Republic instead.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, I like that.
Stavros Halkias
Not.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh, that's what you want. Where have we been going recently? And by the way, Guy, you know, Julie, we plugged it on the Patreon, but you have the great travel series tell people to go look at.
Ricky Velez
Yeah, yeah. It's not Julio's YouTube channel and I make pretty good.
Julio Gallarotti
You really do a criminally underseen YouTube channel with that.
Ricky Velez
I'd like to change that. And thank you, Eldis, for helping me set up my Patreon. I'm hitting him at 1am being like, how do I do the clickable links?
Julio Gallarotti
I just, I just, I just sent him a link to one of our YouTube videos. I'm like, this is how we do the descriptions. Yeah, yeah. Good man. I love it.
Ricky Velez
Appreciate that.
Julio Gallarotti
You're in tough. We're in a tough, tough place where eldest is the Font of knowledge. Blind leading the blind. You want to talk about the blindly the blind? Yeah. Consulting. No side. I'm putting it in your contract. You're not allowed to have a side consulting company. You barely post our on time. The quality drops Elders is just cashing checks.
Ricky Velez
It's a funny thing about our friendship because like, you know Ricky, effectively my best friend, you know, I mean, any way you look at it. And we definitely, we definitely, like, we definitely sort of approach our like travel philosophy like very differently in a way that's like kind of funny. Like. But I think he, I mean, I don't want to speak for you, but it seems like you to some degree respect what I'm trying to do.
Julio Gallarotti
I think.
Stavros Halkias
I don't know for sure that's even a goddamn question.
Julio Gallarotti
Yes, I respect you. I know.
Ricky Velez
No, no, I know you respect me.
Julio Gallarotti
But I mean, like, yeah, your artistic endeavor in the travel potential, I, I.
Stavros Halkias
Get very scared for you, which I appreciate. There are parts of it I am interested. I've told you the places I'm willing to go and what interests me. But there's a lot that you do that I have absolutely like no interest in seeing or no. Like. And then like you go in Afghanistan was too much.
Julio Gallarotti
I think it's cool. I know you're saying I. If I could teleport in for a day with you, I would do it. It literally getting there to me is the most annoying part. The more I go to him, like.
Stavros Halkias
Dude, I'll do the Amazon with you. And he's like, oh, I know a guy. We can do it on the low. Let's do this one on the high.
Julio Gallarotti
I don't want to die.
Stavros Halkias
I don't want to be tracking gorillas with a guy that does this part time.
Julio Gallarotti
Dude, that's not what I want to do. You don't want a part time Amazon guy.
Ricky Velez
I regularly.
Julio Gallarotti
You don't want the eldest of Amazon guys. You want the good.
Stavros Halkias
He also works, works for Amazon.
Julio Gallarotti
Like that he's dropping off packages of pygmies.
Ricky Velez
Well, actually, no, dude, the video I just did, I, I delivered the mail in Alaska in the winter. I'm a small plane, including Amazon packages.
Julio Gallarotti
That's pretty vacation.
Stavros Halkias
And I have a job.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Federal job.
Julio Gallarotti
That's pretty fun though.
Ricky Velez
But yeah, I do always think anytime I'm in some like weird situation, I do like to think about what you would say or do. Like, dude, I was in, I was in South Asia, I was in Nep, and there was all these monkeys just kind of like like, sizing me up, like, trying to, like. And I just think about what he would say.
Julio Gallarotti
I don't like that very vividly.
Ricky Velez
I just picture him being like, yo, I do not like that, bro.
Stavros Halkias
I'd be at the embassy.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. I don't.
Stavros Halkias
American, bro.
Julio Gallarotti
I'm not really into monkeys either. Yeah, they freak me out. They're too close to us, but too far away and too strong, dude. Yeah, they're very. They can rip your dick off. They can rip your nose off.
Ricky Velez
They're up to no good. They're clever. They're always jerking off, dude.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, they're.
Julio Gallarotti
I do. Like, the really fat monkeys you see are, like, in Thailand, where they. They'll feed some monkey too many treats, and he's just fat as.
Ricky Velez
But, you know, but, like, so I was walk. There's planet. On the new planet Earth, There's a great segment about this where, like, really, the old. The old monkeys are, like, more clever than the young monkeys. So they'll steal your. And they know what matters to you, so they'll steal your good. So then if you, like, offer them a banana, they're like, no, dude, really. And you have to give them candy, and then they'll give you your. Dude, this is in Planet Earth 3.
Julio Gallarotti
Dude bartering with you. That's awesome.
Stavros Halkias
The monkey brings Julio breakfast in the morning. I'm not doing it. I hate it.
Julio Gallarotti
I hate it.
Stavros Halkias
Like, I don't want to go anywhere. I have to get a shot.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, that's tough.
Ricky Velez
I totally get it.
Julio Gallarotti
And you probably had quite a. Speaking of diarrhea, you must be ravaged, so.
Ricky Velez
Dude, I've had ridiculously bad food poisoning.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. That's stuff I don't like.
Stavros Halkias
Did you ever hear Afghanistan?
Julio Gallarotti
The story? Yeah, I was playing home. I remember this.
Stavros Halkias
Sending me pictures of them with no shirt on in the Afghanistan plane bathroom. Swe.
Julio Gallarotti
I remember you were trying to finesse first class. You're trying to get sympathy. Exactly.
Ricky Velez
Last time. I did not get sick on my last trip, which was a huge w. Yeah, I'm trying. I try to be very careful, but usually by the end, you know, you get. You think you're good, and then you eat too much. The key is not to eat a lot. If you don't eat a lot, your stomach's more likely to be able to get used to it. But, yeah, bro, that's my. My biggest fear. Traveling is always getting sick. That is the number one fear.
Julio Gallarotti
And that's kind of really the issue.
Ricky Velez
And that sucks.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to be, you know, it's not fun. I don't want to be my.
Stavros Halkias
And I just sit there on YouTube and watch all those videos of them making the street meat and I'm like, yeah, I can't do that.
Julio Gallarotti
I know. I wish I could smell that. The thing is I would crush it. Like I love up street food. Right. Like. And I see like a guy like you know, like a stall, like some guy in a stall in India and I'm like, I would like to taste that. That. But I'm not taking any chances. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's even like Mexico. Which I've had friends who go to Mexico and get completely up and I would love to go. Everyone talks about Mexico City is like the sickest city in one of the sickest cities. And I'll probably end up going just Cuz I do want to see it and it's close enough but I worry about cuz I'm going to eat. I like to just go to a random cart and get some alpastor. You know what I'm saying?
Ricky Velez
Dude, the key. You just need like a good enough. You need a good enough bathroom room.
Stavros Halkias
That you can get naked and fall.
Ricky Velez
Asleep on the floor. Put your neck against the base of the toilet and just fall asleep.
Julio Gallarotti
You know they have heated bathroom floors. They need cooled bathroom floors. They need. Mexico needs like cooled bathroom floors to, to just lay your hot fat stomach on.
Ricky Velez
Don't panic when it's gonna pass. Just you 12, 18 hours when you.
Stavros Halkias
Have that food poison, you're letting the hot water in the shower hit your stomach and somehow that feels good.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh my God, yes. Absolutely.
Stavros Halkias
And there's just nothing like that first drink of water actually. Keep down.
Julio Gallarotti
I mean I guess in some ways I am prepared because I. Like I said most of my life I've had diarrhea. So. You know, for years of my life I've had diarrhea.
Stavros Halkias
That's wild man.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, I mean I'm over it now. I mean I'll just back me up here. That's kind of the. The existence of being fat as. And indulgent. Yeah. And drinking and doing drugs. You're gonna be constantly. I've had some crazy shits in my life.
Stavros Halkias
There's probably a four year old.
Julio Gallarotti
No. I mean, I don't know. I feel like you do more on average stuff. Yeah. Like you, you a lot throughout the day. I feel like I like in my last few years I've contained it to like one or two. Yeah. But yours are like, it's like an elephant dong. It's like the whole bowl is filled to the brim. When Eldest is done, I mean, he would clog. How many times on average would you clog this toilet in this apartment? Like, four times a week. Not four times, but two. Sure. It would get clogged. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
The water is this super coming up all just taking a look at it.
Julio Gallarotti
No, no. Elders had. I mean, Elders had a system. No Super. But we. There's been constant plumbing complaints up and down the whole building. I mean, we. I do think there was.
Stavros Halkias
That's not.
Julio Gallarotti
When we used that. We used to have so many people in here. And we were definitely. I do think we were so much. It was affecting our downstairs neighbors. Like, at one point, like, just water was falling from her ceiling. She wanted to kill herself. Oh, my God. And that hasn't happened since Eldest moved out. I want to put that on the record. That has not happened since Eldest moved out. Out.
Stavros Halkias
But that sounds like the worst exorcism of all time. Coming down.
Julio Gallarotti
And I feel bad and, like, you feel bad, but it's like, well, thank God that it.
Stavros Halkias
That really off the ring.
Julio Gallarotti
Back. Yeah. But, yeah, I guess not too much fiber. I mean, we were really not eating many vegetables, man. It's a lot of burgers, ice cream, halal cart. Halal cart. Plenty of halal. That I can't do that.
Stavros Halkias
I. I had to stop that once I saw that video, bro.
Julio Gallarotti
Bro. What video?
Stavros Halkias
You didn't see him capturing the pigeons, bro. Right off Queens Boulevard, bro. Pull it up. Happen right on Queens Boulevard, bro. He straight up is in the halal cart, comes out of it, grabs the pigeon, puts it in, and goes back into the halal car. Wow, bro. Right on Queens Boulevard. Like, right by junction. I know exactly.
Julio Gallarotti
What do you think you. You think he's serving a big thing.
Stavros Halkias
And made a few of the papers.
Julio Gallarotti
Caught cat. Yeah. This is the New York Post Post.
Stavros Halkias
Our premiere where I get most premiere.
Julio Gallarotti
Coast Guard vet turns turned only fans model pleads guilty. I'm actually more interested in that. She looks pretty good, dude.
Stavros Halkias
I love that.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh, yeah. So he just catches the men, tried to get her, managed to grab one, shoving in a plastic bag, returning it to the food truck. So, yeah, he literally put. Oh, my God, I can't believe what I just saw. I'm beyond disgusting. Rested after that. I saw him grab water and was. He was rinsing his hand and swishing water in his mouth. He was sticking his fingers in his mouth and scrubbing his teeth and Fingers. Is she claiming he ate a raw pigeon?
Stavros Halkias
Possibly.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh man. I mean, I don't give a. I'll still eat halal cart. I don't eat.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, I don't, I, I, I'm kind of.
Julio Gallarotti
Shout out to best of the best. Yeah. Shout out to best of the best on Steinway. On Steinway and Broadway.
Stavros Halkias
He is. Boom. Oh, got him.
Julio Gallarotti
Dude, that's interesting. Crazy.
Stavros Halkias
I'll take a number two pick.
Julio Gallarotti
You know what? You know what I will say though? I, it's kind of. In some ways it's nice that it's not a Chinese guy doing that. You know what I mean? Cuz I do think you immediately your m. You guys hear, hey, I wouldn't.
Stavros Halkias
Have brought it up.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really didn't. And that guy almost looked even black. I mean, I know he's probably Indian or Pakistani or something, but he did he look. He did not. You know, I've, you know, you, you imagine it's going to be a Chinese food truck guy, but you know what? Not a lot of Chinese food trucks.
Ricky Velez
Not their hustle.
Stavros Halkias
How, how often do you think you're actually eating the meat that like meat that you don't know you're eating?
Julio Gallarotti
Like.
Ricky Velez
Oh, often.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, right.
Julio Gallarotti
25, I think.
Stavros Halkias
I think it probably happened like now.
Julio Gallarotti
Less because I just like get better. But when I was, dude, when we first moved here, I was eating the worst, lowest grade. Yeah. Now I'd like, I actually do. I've tried to spend a little money on eating better. Like I, I have spent this year getting a little healthier, so I'm a little more cognizant. But yeah, at halal cards. I mean, the lamb. What the. Is that like the chicken at least probably. I know. And people don't think that's, that's like traditional yido meat too. And it's like that shit's supposed to be pork. Like when you go to a Greek place and they, and the gyro is like that. That's, that's some like they invented that here in like the 70s because it was just processed. It's essentially baloney. Right? It's lamb baloney that you're eating like, like hot lamb baloney. Yeah. And the, the real is, is a poor. Is pork. It's closer to. It's actually very similar to al pastor poor. That, that, that's like who came from Lebanon. Yeah, yeah. So Greek people. It's kind of a similar thing. All the Christians from that area used pork because like, you know, the Muslims aren't using it so that's kind of where it it came from. Interesting. And that's good as I could go for like I know I'm not ready.
Stavros Halkias
I like that you know this much about food. It's not just the taste.
Julio Gallarotti
No, no no. I love it dude. I lock in so much much.
Stavros Halkias
I appreciate that.
Julio Gallarotti
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Ricky Velez
I mean dude, just these long Trips will be tough. Like, I got in a fight with the, like, the lady at the counter, and she, like, made me check all my shit, basically because there was some annoying rule about how much stuff you could bring, and they, like, enforced it on me where, like, nobody. And, like, there's dudes with bowling balls at the gate.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ricky Velez
So anyway, I accidentally checked my AirPods pods for, like, 18 hours of flying, and I had a middle seat.
Stavros Halkias
But he doesn't care about that. He'll book that. That's crazy.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. You can't be booking that, dude. Even when I even. Like, back in the day, I was doing everything to avoid a middle seat.
Ricky Velez
I know, I know. And then I try to just be like, all right, well, this is good. Like, you won't get too comfortable. I don't know, bro, because I'm used to, like, if I'm flying to wherever. Buffalo, like, I know I'm gonna get upgraded first.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
I mean, so. So, like, if I'm on an international flight, that's not going to happen. And, like, like, all right, whatever. This will be good for us or something.
Julio Gallarotti
Trench mindset. You're in the trenches.
Ricky Velez
I try, you know, because then, you know, it's nice to sort of overcome that and then do something sick, you know, because otherwise you get to do something unique because most people wouldn't be willing to do it. So I'm trying to, like, tap into that.
Julio Gallarotti
I really think that being in a middle versus an aisle seat upgrades your experience in Africa or Africa.
Ricky Velez
I didn't do it on purpose.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, I didn't do it on purpose.
Ricky Velez
I booked the seat where, like, you don't have to pick because it's cheaper.
Stavros Halkias
There's a reason.
Ricky Velez
I know, I know.
Stavros Halkias
In the middle.
Ricky Velez
You know, I'm trying to get. I'm trying to get this off the ground, bro.
Julio Gallarotti
Of course.
Ricky Velez
But, yeah, so. But it's. So anyway. Yeah, like that or just being in, like, on the worst road you've ever been on in your life.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ricky Velez
I mean, so that all sucks. But then, like, you make it to the place, and it's sick. So, like, in theory, I find it to be worth it, but I understand people's hesitation and why they don't want.
Julio Gallarotti
No, that is. There is something to the. Like, the. You know, the journey is part of it. Right. Like, it makes it way more fulfilling to be in a character building. I do agree with that to some degree.
Ricky Velez
You know, I don't want to do it when I'm going on vacation. You know, I mean like, I don't consider these trips vacation.
Julio Gallarotti
You're on work.
Ricky Velez
It's like, yeah, it's work, but it's also like an adventure, you know, I mean like on vacation. I like staying at the beach too. I like all different kinds of trips.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
There's a different time for like different stuff, in my opinion. And also different destinations where it's like if I go to Greece, I don't want to like, I want to go to the islands and see the insane views and like, you know what I mean? So I don't know. Whatever.
Julio Gallarotti
Sorry, man. It's tough out there. We don't, we don't want to make you feel bad. No, you don't.
Ricky Velez
You're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not.
Julio Gallarotti
You're on a middle seat. Sorry. With no AirPods, my recent one.
Ricky Velez
And that was really tough. And just like when goes wrong, it obviously sucks. You're like, all right. I guess the thing I plan to do isn't happening. Like learning to like be able to deal with that and all that stuff. Stuff is I find it to be helpful.
Julio Gallarotti
We're going to Walgreens in Kenya.
Stavros Halkias
You know.
Ricky Velez
What you going to ask.
Stavros Halkias
Me is, do you always know where the NBC is while you're doing these trips?
Ricky Velez
No, but you know, and sometimes there isn't one, which not always the best thing.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
You just want to make sure you're healthy going into that trip. Trip and you know, hope nothing goes wrong.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
Respect.
Ricky Velez
You know, usually there's like a person from another embassy in a nearby country who could theoretically help you if you needed it.
Julio Gallarotti
In a nearby country.
Ricky Velez
That was the deal in Afghanistan. Not ideal.
Julio Gallarotti
You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, more still cool.
Ricky Velez
More often than not a place will be much better than you thought it.
Julio Gallarotti
Was going to be. Totally, totally happens.
Ricky Velez
You know what I mean?
Julio Gallarotti
Out.
Ricky Velez
Yeah, I'm aware of that. And hoping you knock on wood.
Julio Gallarotti
It keeps going. Well. And you're a, you're a married man now. Was your wife a big traveler?
Ricky Velez
Like, yes, but not the way that I am. And she doesn't like doing what I do. And being married makes it definitely harder to like, you know, be like, I'm doing this and it's like, oh, really?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, like that's.
Ricky Velez
That becomes a more difficult obstacle.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
So I'm really just trying to make my a money generator before I have kids.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
Cuz at that point, point it'll be like they'll Just be able to hold the kid in front of my face.
Julio Gallarotti
You're not coming? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.
Ricky Velez
Then I'm gonna hate the kid. Yeah, it's gonna be bad, dude.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Then it's just named after places you wanted to go.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. Cutter. This. This is my beautiful daughter, Cutter. That's funny. You just. You just pivot. You're like. And now we're going to Wildwood, New Jersey.
Stavros Halkias
Kips. He's crazy this time of year, dude.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, we'll see. Dude, how. How long you. You. I'm the only bachelor in this room right now. A lot of three married men. How long? So, wait, is. Are you relatively recently married?
Ricky Velez
Six months.
Julio Gallarotti
Six months. Oh, nice, dude. How was the wedding?
Ricky Velez
It was great.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
Really fun.
Julio Gallarotti
That's good. Nobody ruined it.
Ricky Velez
Nobody ruined it. Ricky gave a great speech.
Julio Gallarotti
Nice.
Ricky Velez
Very fun.
Julio Gallarotti
Rank the speeches. Who did. Who did the best? Wow.
Ricky Velez
Dude. Like, you know, like, there's a reason, like, you hold the. The comedian for the last speech.
Julio Gallarotti
Of course. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I do feel bad when someone tries to like, that. Like, people will try and do, like, surprise speeches sometimes after, like. So it's like, ah. And everyone's, like, sitting down and someone just crushed and, like, you know, I'd like to say something and then, like, have nothing prepared. Just fucking blowing it. That's. Always.
Ricky Velez
Speak from the heart real quick.
Julio Gallarotti
I love that, dude. I love watching somebody bomb because it's like, we know what they're about, what's about to happen. They. Because they see someone do something fun, they're like, that looks awesome.
Ricky Velez
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I want to do that one I've ever seen in my life, the best one I ever seen. Luis Gomez doing Gary versus Notorious. It's been spoken about on other podcasts, but he just like, dude, there was doctors in the room. And he's like, you guys don't know what we go through.
Julio Gallarotti
He's talking about how hard. Comedy.
Stavros Halkias
Joel, everybody, we're all just sitting at this table watching it.
Julio Gallarotti
It's one of the best.
Stavros Halkias
I. I really hope they have it on tape somewhere.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
One of the best I've ever seen.
Julio Gallarotti
So good, dude.
Stavros Halkias
His shoulders up his bald head. He looked like he was ready to fight. It was great. It was great.
Julio Gallarotti
And it's not even about Gary. It's just about how hard it is to run a podcast. It was before Gas started moving good, too.
Stavros Halkias
It was definitely about that.
Julio Gallarotti
You have no idea how much hosting fees are. There's many hidden costs. That's so funny. Well, it's Time, I think we, we should take a little bit of our expertise to the people. Boys, let's, let's, let's, let's solve some problems. Let's, you know, Elvis started over.
Caller
Elvis, esteemed guest. I'll keep it short. Been dating this girl for about two years and I don't even know, man. She's a bit childish. Getting upset about social media ass cheeks on my feedback. Some insecurities there. And it's been an ongoing issue and I'm not sure if I'm just desensitized to all the social media stuff or if this is truly going a bit too far and I need to seek greener pastures.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh, that's awesome.
Caller
Now, I know you might think that the casual ass cheek or two or side titty is just the norm, but it's gone as deep is, you know, cartoon characters popping up on my feed. I can't make the algorithm, man.
Stavros Halkias
So I can't make.
Julio Gallarotti
What do you mean? You do, though. You absolutely do make your algorithm. You are doing that. What it reacts to what you spend the most time on.
Stavros Halkias
He said cartoons. I'm not even cartoons.
Julio Gallarotti
So it's like horny cartoons. Let's keep going, I guess.
Caller
Kind of a lame one, but a quick one. 1. Where do you stand on lust and social media?
Julio Gallarotti
Lust?
Caller
Not really pursuing that kind of thing.
Julio Gallarotti
But if he's not pursuing lust on.
Caller
Social media, bit of obscenity on my feed pops up, then all hell breaks loose. So should I see greener pastures? Is this really this big of an issue? Am I just desensitized to it? You tell me.
Julio Gallarotti
It's awesome that he's in greener pastures. And what he's imag. What greener pastures are to him is that. Should I find a girlfriend that doesn't think it's weird that I'm looking at a reel with Sandy from spongebob with huge tits drawn on her. It's like, dude, it sounds like you might be getting a little over. And by the way, of course, do I want a woman I'm dating to see my feed? No. I mean, and maybe if I have, maybe if I was dating someone, I would be less. But like, dude, my feed is like you, you bring up, you know, what will happen to me constantly. I'll be like, oh, let me hit up my. Like, especially now that we're like, booking the podcast. I'll be like, I'll remember someone and I'll be like, oh, let me hit them up and I'll go to the Instagram. I'll go to Instagram and I'll go to like to search the name, but the search thing is the for you page. And I will instantly just see tits and I will forget and I will just look at tits until I forget who I was going to search. And then I'll close it and then 20 minutes, I'm like, oh, I didn't even. I didn't message Julio. I'll bring it up again. And literally, I'm not kidding. This happens to me every. This happens to me five times a day. And I'm fully aware of it. And I'm like, oh, this time we'll be different. But I just look at the tits every time.
Stavros Halkias
Shout out Zuckenberg, man. That's what he's been trying to do.
Ricky Velez
Yeah, Tits are on every. Like, I don't go looking for them either on Instagram and they're just there.
Stavros Halkias
Are yours tits or at my. Mine's ass. And I think it's okay to have I'm very certain amount out, but when you're going too.
Julio Gallarotti
I'm doing it right now, dude. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Like, my wife started complaining. I would just turn it into dudes to see what her reaction to that would be like, oh, look at all these cops.
Julio Gallarotti
But let's also think about this.
Stavros Halkias
You wanted this.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, Yeah.
Ricky Velez
I love these.
Julio Gallarotti
It's nothing but the bad bunny dick print photo. Yeah. I will say this, though. How much do you have to be constantly looking at this for a significant other to catch on? Cuz like, she's not over your shoulder looking at your eyes. She might.
Stavros Halkias
She sounds.
Julio Gallarotti
You're right. Yeah, yeah.
Stavros Halkias
But at the same time, that's. I mean, you can also reset it. I do.
Ricky Velez
I don't know if you can get rid of the tip no matter what, dude. I like, you're gonna get someone doing something as they bounce.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ricky Velez
Like, that's the one. And it's like. No, it's a little different if it's like a. A hot animated chick with a tail and fat tips. But like, I don't know if you can get rid of the tits.
Julio Gallarotti
I mean, I think here there is. I have gotten rid of them, but it's taken like, effort. I have to like, very specifically. And usually when I get rid of them, it's just like, oh, I happen to be watching a lot of like, like highlights of like basketball, soccer, and football. That's. That's the only two speeds my for you page has. It's either tits or it's like awesome goals. You know what I mean, like 7.
Ricky Velez
Foot, 13 year olds dunking.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah. And then obviously like a, like stakes for a wife. Like, I'm really big on steaks, so it'll be like, I'll have like butchers in my feed. I'll have like ribeyes getting cooked, you know, that kind of stuff. That's the three speeds that I have now.
Stavros Halkias
Then they'll throw some titties in there to.
Julio Gallarotti
To get you back.
Stavros Halkias
Like now you're.
Julio Gallarotti
And if you don't immediately swipe up.
Stavros Halkias
From the titties, you're in it.
Julio Gallarotti
You're in there for good.
Stavros Halkias
It's like, bring me back to John Morant Dunkey.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ricky Velez
Now this is tough though. Like, if she doesn't get that.
Julio Gallarotti
Well, I guess I think this is a meet in the m. This seems like a textbook meet in the middle situation here. If you are so addicted to not even porn, but just looking at tits on Instagram that you can't dial it back a little bit to the point that it makes your girlfriend comfortable. Like, does she. Is she. Is she saying like, you shouldn't be looking this at all, or is she saying like, hey, what the. Every time I look at your phone, you're looking at something weird and sexual that makes me uncomfortable because you might have porn brain too much. And that is a real thing. Like, you might A, be on your phone too much and B, be looking at too much. Like, I definitely feel that where, like on when I'm on my phone a ton where I'm at, like, like this week we've been like podcasting a lot. I've been in the house. Like, I'll just look at my phone for. I have like 20 minutes. I won't do anything good with it. I'll look at my phone. I'll be like, I need to do this. Like, I feel like I need to do this less. Does he not think that at all? Does he think I need to keep looking at more tits on the Internet? Cuz, like, unclear.
Stavros Halkias
21St century.
Ricky Velez
I think.
Julio Gallarotti
I think, like, just from how he's talking about it, I feel like she is coming with some very aggressive, like, you know, like looking at his. What are you looking at? Energy. That's really got eyeballs on him. Maybe she's making moral judgments about his character because he's used. He's. He's saying the words lust and obscenity. Yeah. And that's the kind of an annoying. Says like somebody who's like religious, like an annoying, uptight Religious girlfriend would say lust and obscenity like he. As he said it. Yeah. Don't let her set those parameters. Don't admit to lusting on your social media feed. Yeah, being accused of lusting is. That's some old school, like, Scarlet Letter type shit.
Ricky Velez
Lusting.
Julio Gallarotti
So look, if she's. If.
Stavros Halkias
What's weird is he's drawing the pictures.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dressed like that.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
I mean, look, dude, you know, this kind of thing is like you actually know the answer too much.
Stavros Halkias
Put that on the phone for a little bit.
Julio Gallarotti
Put that.
Stavros Halkias
See if that fixes your relationship.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, that's a little bit. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Put down the phone. Go outside, Take a walk. Walk.
Julio Gallarotti
I agree. I'm trying. I'm trying to figure out ways to, you know, get. Get. I will make that a. That's a goal of my summer. Like my big summer project is be on my phone way less. And I know that sounds stupid, but, like, that's going to take me a month to even just wrap my head around if I succeed. So you be realistic with yourself, man. Are you. Are you in the goon zone too heavy? If you are, then she has a point. If you're not and she's up to tight, then yes, maybe you can seek greener pastures. But your goal shouldn't be to find a. Like, the other thing is part of a relationship is like, you do want someone who holds you to a little bit of a higher standard. You don't want to be. You don't want to devolve into who you would be without positive. You know what I mean? Like the animals you. All of you would be without your. I remember what a piece of you were without your wife. How much she civilized you.
Stavros Halkias
I was a great guy.
Julio Gallarotti
I'm still a great guy. You're a feral piece of you, definitely. You definitely look way more presentable. You know, you're not trying to squeeze into one size too small express clothing anymore. El just thinks he's like a European. He thinks he's like built like a Euro model. It's awesome. I'll height baby. Yeah, I'll just thinks he's built like Slender Man. He thinks he's just like. He thinks he's Victor Wembanyama. He doesn't realize he's he's six' five but also fat thin.
Ricky Velez
T shirt daddy.
Julio Gallarotti
We've said it before, but our friend was dating someone who's like, literally a starter. He played college football. He was this college quarterback. He was like a, you know, mister. He was like all American in baseball and football in high school stayed kind of jacked. He was getting rid of some shirts and Eldis who at the time was even fatter than he is now was like picked the shirt up and like held it to himself and like was about to even try it on. It's like what the fuck are you doing man? This guy is like look, is her boyfriend was Jeff jacked? And he was like in great shape and I'll just in his head was like, you know it's gonna be a little tight but I think I could get in. We're both excels more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was his line. We're both excels what? It's an excel. Just thinking. Anyway, I wonder, I wonder if this guy's girlfriend is just. Is a dumb. Like does she get jealous? It's possible. It's very possible. Very jealous in other ways ways. But he's also it like he sounds to me like this might just be dumb versus dumb here because a guy who's like looking at like if, if cartoon characters are starting to pop up on your like horn. Horny cartoon characters. Not in a joking manner, right. Like I know you're big on Peter Griffin explains Islam Eldis El this loves AI Peter Griffin explaining him stuff. But if you're, if you're coming up with cartoons tunes in a horny way and like they might just be the. It's the immovable force versus the you know, unstoppable object or whatever and like they might both just be idiots. She might be too uptight and he might be way too much, too much of a, you know, gooner. I don't know. That's my read on the situation. If we're wrong. Look, maybe a little compromise. What you know, put the phone down a little bit. You know, find other that you like like if you're into cartoon. If you're getting turned on by cartoons I assume like maybe there's train accounts or elevator accounts that you'd also like, you know what I mean? That kind of stuff. So just find it middle grounded. But you know if she's being like puritanical about like. Because that's also weird. Like sometimes like people have called in and been like a woman has called in and be like I consider porn cheating. That's insane. Insane. That's what I mean. Like looking at tits a little bit. Especially when you're in a super long term relationship and it's like oh, I'm looking at it at Sydney Sweeney's reel of Sydney Sweeney's tits. In the like, that's not cheating, lady. Let's not get crazy. You know what I mean? Like. But you're gonna have to figure that out, bud.
Stavros Halkias
And he's putting a lot of blame on not himself.
Julio Gallarotti
Totally. He's. He's a beautiful angel in this scenario. Not only it's his girlfriend, it's the algorithm that's forcing him. Forcing? To look at Mrs. Incredible softcore porn. All right. So good luck, bud. Oh, folks, summertime. That's the time to get the thighs out, you know, I mean, show them off. Show that beautiful mass you got. Don't be shy. Let them fly. Using our friends over at Chubby's. That's right. Right. Whether it's their original stretch shorts, whether it's the classic lined swim trunks, whatever you want, you can show those beautiful yams off. They got incredible colors, fun designs. I've been a Chubby's customer since I was in college. Depressing to think about for me, but that's over. We did the math last time. It was like 12 years. I was a senior in college the first time I bought Chubby's. That's a fucking long time. I was 20. 21. 15 years. Jesus Christ. That's brutal. But I've. I have. I've been a chubby's customer for 15 years. That's insane. I like to show the gams off. I like, you know, as a plus sized man, it's hard to find a company. They think we want to cover ourselves down to the knees. That we are ashamed of our bodies. Chubbies, they got the two XLs and they got them. You can get got, you know, as little as a. Yeah, we're talking five inch inseam. I'm five inch inseam guy. They got seven inch too, if you're a more modest gentleman. And look, it ain't just for the. It ain't just for your legs. They got the Chubby's performance polo. I got a couple of those. Brunch, backyard party, you know, whatever you're up to. Nice little collar, fun little designs. Just enough, you know, you could. You could. You could be casual with it. You could kind of dress it up a little bit. It's a nice little sneaking, sneaky garment. Anyway, I am about to go to. I'm thinking about going to Greece next month. I will be wearing Chubby's line swim trunks. You better believe that. You can check my Instagram. I've had pictures of Chubby's for years now. You're going to love them. Whether you're suiting up for Cannonballs, cookouts or casual Fridays. Chubby's has you covered for a limited time. Chubby's giving our listeners 20% off your order with our Code Stavis world@chubby shorts.com that's code stavis world@chubby shorts.com S A V V Y S W O R L D Support our show and let them know we sent you. Summer's here, baby. Dress like it in chubbies.
Caller
Hi Sauce. My husband and I went to go see you in India recently.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh, nice.
Caller
So much fun.
Julio Gallarotti
Thanks for coming.
Caller
I just kind of had a question for you guys about my relationship with my d. My parents split up when I was 16. My dad cheated on my mom with a 19 year old and 19, super messy situation. My dad's a very emotional person. Somebody trying to tell him to get.
Julio Gallarotti
Three years older than you. You're 16 and your dad a 19 year old dude. Like that's a double whammy. That's really. Anyway, keep going.
Stavros Halkias
I want to know how they met. There's so much to this probably in.
Julio Gallarotti
A really chill way. Probably in a really, in a way that makes her dad look even better.
Caller
Person. So when my mom was like trying to tell him to get out, he basically said he would burn our house down instead of leave.
Julio Gallarotti
Emotional is the word you use for that.
Caller
I got in like a big fight with him.
Julio Gallarotti
He's just really in touch with his feelings. You know, he threatened to kill all of us because he got caught a teenager. You know, the guy's just really centered in his emotions. But I know it hasn't affected my.
Stavros Halkias
Dating history at all either.
Caller
Arsonist, been like a big fight with him. Everything was pretty awful. And now they've been Split up. I'm 23 now, so they've been split up for a while. But my relationship with them never really recovered.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, the girl's only 26.
Julio Gallarotti
That makes so much sense.
Stavros Halkias
His mistress is only 26.
Julio Gallarotti
I don't think she's still in the picture if I had to guess. I don't.
Caller
Yeah, covered. And now he's got kind of a separate family with his new wife.
Julio Gallarotti
And is it the same girl?
Caller
Kids and all of this and they want to try to be a big family. They have get togethers like, like every month and we just really don't talk. He doesn't know anything about me. I don't know anything about him. So every month it's just like pretense time. Like hey, how are you? How you been? What's going on. And I really don't know how to get over the way he hurt my mom and the way he hurt me in our family. And it kind of bothers me because I feel like I would cut him off if I could, but he's also my dad, so. Just. Any advice on kind of getting through something like that with a parent or trying to rekindle a relationship with them? We were never super close to begin with, but at least, you know, the relationship was better. So.
Julio Gallarotti
Anyways, that was.
Caller
That's all. Thanks. Bye.
Julio Gallarotti
I don't. I see no reason to. You don't know. I mean, he's your dad, obviously, but you say, like, you owe him something, he owes you being a good parent. He's the one who let you down. You're not letting him down. He literally threatened to burn your house down because he was cheating on your mom.
Ricky Velez
Burn you alive.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, like that. He implied that he would burn you. Maybe he didn't directly say it, but he wasn't worried about. About it.
Stavros Halkias
I'm estranged from my dad. And we always, like. Me and my older brother, who no longer have contact with like. And my wife always talk about how it's just like, people use that blood is thicker than water. But that doesn't give you car blush to be an. To me.
Julio Gallarotti
No.
Stavros Halkias
If anything, I feel bad for her because you can tell she feels a responsibility to keep this guy in her. In her life.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And the truth is, you don't. He sounds like a fucking asshole.
Julio Gallarotti
Totally. Totally. Exactly. It's like, I fully agree. Where it's like, yes, it's important. And in a perfect world, you don't. You want to have a good relationship with your family, but if a family member has been like, you know, you. Like you said, he really. And by the way, this is still relatively fresh. I mean, I know you're.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
You're like. Like, it's not that. I know. Sixteen, whatever. That's like seven years.
Ricky Velez
Not that many years.
Julio Gallarotti
Not that long. I mean, what's your. Especially because what's your mom's situation? Situation? Like, this motherfucker completely cheated, threatened violence on your whole family. And then he seems to have landed on his feet fine. He's got another family, he's doing good. Now he wants to paper over all the fucking bullshit he did. And it would be different if he was like, I really up. I was in a bad place. I wasn't happy with your mom. I handled it in the absolute worst way. I'm embarrassed of the threats, of how I acted the threats I've made. I really want to earn your trust over time, but my guess is that's not what he's saying. He's. Hasn't probably addressed it and he just wants you to respect him because that's what he thinks he deserves and he doesn't deserve. In fact, the blood is thick of the water stuff. It runs the opposite way too, where it's like, you mistreated me. Right. Like, you should be more ashamed of mistreating me than I should be of not talking. Talking to you. Right, Right. Especially when you're the kid and. And again, he's the parent, so.
Stavros Halkias
But there's something with that generation, man, that the generation that raised us, like, they like, never admit wrong.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, I mean, I definitely am. Totally.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, no therapy. No, not that. No looking within. It's just like, it happened, it's passed. This is the rules of the family.
Ricky Velez
And he wants you to be cool with him on his terms, which isn't cool.
Julio Gallarotti
And that's exactly it. Yes. That his terms stuff like, the only way that you would be able to do this is if you were like, hey, I really would appreciate an apology for how you behaved. And then we can rebuild it and like, see how he responds to that. My guess is not, well, you're not.
Stavros Halkias
Gonna get it, but.
Julio Gallarotti
And by the way, if you don't get it, great. Like, because you get to set the terms of how. Of the relationship you want with him. And if there's certain things that would make you. What would help you get over this. If he can do that, which I think an apology is a nice term, start. Great. Then maybe slowly, over time, that starts to feel less hollow because I know what she's going through. Right. The pretending stuff. I had a big issue that with my dad too. He would like, he would act one way in our house and then he would like put on a different face out in public or whatever. And it would be like, that would drive me crazy and it would be like, I can't, I can't. I'm not engaging with you in this fake reality that you've created.
Stavros Halkias
But there's something to that that I don't think she knows as a 23 year old where it's like you don't realize your parents aren't like the smartest people, you know?
Julio Gallarotti
Right, right.
Stavros Halkias
Like, yeah, I didn't know that for a long time where I thought like, oh, they're always right. They're right. And then you realize, oh, they're guessing just as much you are. And that guy thought banging a 19 year old was the answer at one point.
Julio Gallarotti
Dude.
Ricky Velez
Dude. My favorite part, I think about this or like the most interesting part is like this person person listens to like many episodes of Stop just being like, dude, I've had a lifetime of diarrhea.
Julio Gallarotti
And they're like, I'm gonna ask him about my father. It's probably eight years. I don't know about a lifetime. But if we were to aggregate, it's probably about eight years of diarrhea, which out of 36. Not that bad, not great, not horrible, but yeah, I mean, that's it. She's also so young. I mean, I mean you're like, like I, I have a similar relationship with my dad and now at 36, after a lot of stuff, I am trying to get that relationship going again, but it's only because I asked for certain things. He didn't budge for a decade and maybe he got older. Whatever. He just was like, saw his mortality in the, like in the rear view mirror sneaking up on. I don't know what it was was. But he seems to be making some kind of effort and that's all I really. That's ultimately all you want. Cuz yes, we all want our dads. We. Everyone wants their dad to be in their life, but you just, you want it to be in a way that's actually helpful for you and not in a toxic up situation. So you shouldn't feel bad at all cutting your father off. I think the, I think the best thing to do would to be to. For you to really think of about what you would need from him to feel like you can have an actual relationship and you are well within your rights to ask for that stuff. An apology, whatever, you know, seeing, you know, him checking up on you from time to time, if he wants to invite you to these big barbecues that everybody's there and you take a big picture about how f. How happy your family is and post it on Instagram or whatever the he's getting out of it. If you want to do that, what do you need for. For that? You can ask him for that. He probably won't do it, but you can at least know this is what it would take for me to have a real relationship after how much you hurt me and my mom and, and, and stick to that. Set your boundaries, stick to it. And if he doesn't want to meet you there, you don't owe, you really don't owe him anything. He's the one who owes you, he brought. You didn't even want to exist. If we're being honest this month. Like that parent's really force sentience on all of us. And, and they should. They're supposed to be your caregivers. They're supposed to set you up for, for like, you know, set you up for life, not make life harder and set up all, you know, give you a bunch of issues and so totally, you know, good luck. That sucks. But you don't have to go to any more of his shitty barbecues if you don't want to.
Ricky Velez
100.
Caller
All right. What's up, Stavros eldest and whatever guest is on today. I got probably what might be a niche issue for this show. My problem is, is that, and I'm not joking, dude. This is a real thing I've dealt with for years upon years. My big game is a little bit too good.
Julio Gallarotti
Right?
Caller
And I'll lay it out for you. So basically, like, I've been making chicks come and I don't come quick. And pretty much every time, I mean, I, I, I, I bring a woman to completion, it's not an issue for me at all.
Julio Gallarotti
This is just not true. Don't.
Caller
I don't have a huge dick.
Julio Gallarotti
I just, I just make it work from penetrative intercourse. You've made a every woman you come. That's not true. And you don't have like some kind of huge dick that hits the spot. I just don't believe you. But let's keep going.
Caller
I just, I just make it work. You know what I mean? And my problem is, is the, that I feel like the chicks I'm hooking up with only with me because I have good dick game.
Julio Gallarotti
Shut up.
Caller
So I might have like a good day. Like I'm a personable guy, you know.
Julio Gallarotti
I have a good day. You.
Caller
So far she's going well, second day comes around, so on, so forth. Take her home. It's like it could be well understood that it's like this is kind of casual. And then I lay it down.
Julio Gallarotti
And then next day girls texted me good morning. By the way, you're completely contradicting yourself because before you were talking about they're just using me for my magical but average sized. And now you're saying, well, we could have said it was casual, but now they're texting me good morning. It's like, which one is it, you idiot. You're just bragging about something that I don't believe to be true. But anyway, keep going.
Caller
You know, heart emojis. Shit like that. And they're like investment. And I think my problem is fundamentally is that I yearn to be one of these men that's swinging bad dick for a living.
Julio Gallarotti
What is that?
Caller
No one slings bad dick of it.
Julio Gallarotti
You, first of all, pause. This is like.
Ricky Velez
No one knows what you mean, dude. He goes, you have.
Julio Gallarotti
Can I tell you something? If this was true, and it's not, but if this was true, I promise you, you have a lot of deficiencies otherwise that they will be getting over. Like your personality. The fact that you're a braggart who has no. Who makes no sense. I mean, it's just like, you're not that cool and you don't good enough to get over the rest. Like, are you rich? Do you have a good career? Are you handsome? Otherwise, like, are you perfect all across the board? Because I can't believe I'm expl. Okay, let's say for a second that we believe him. And your dick, your race, dating. If you're a car, if you're a video game character, you have five out of five dick, right? Personality. Three at most. At most, right? Probably two. If I had just from talking to.
Stavros Halkias
You so far, looks.
Julio Gallarotti
Are you a five? I don't know. Pro we, don't we. Who knows? Maybe. What's your other situation? Are you. Like I said, are you secure, you know, financially? Are you at five there? Probably not. People have different things to offer you idiot. So like, I don't even understand what this question is other than an excuse to brag. But since Eldis is bad at producing and shows this question, let's at least finish it.
Caller
I would love to be able to just like, not make a chick come and her be like, this guy's so cool that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And I just. I just don't know what to do about this. Like, I'm definitely someone that wants to like, have kids. Kids, like, good.
Julio Gallarotti
Almost like stopping that. Dude, do you understand human beings?
Ricky Velez
Those kids you have, according to you.
Julio Gallarotti
You have the best chance of having kids.
Stavros Halkias
Dude, all my kids are gonna want to get dick.
Julio Gallarotti
They're gonna want to suck my. My. My daughter's gonna want to suck my. It's every woman.
Stavros Halkias
My wife is gonna tell my kids how good my dick is. And then the kids are gonna be sitting in my living room.
Julio Gallarotti
Dad, please. Daddy, we heard the I got straight A's, cuz I was promised you'd me if I did good, if I got a good report card.
Ricky Velez
Papa, this is the last Girl's dad.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. That's what this. You are so out of your mind. Delusional. It's crazy. Dude, even. Okay, it's possible that this guy is good at sex, right? Fine. But that doesn't mean like that's just one good quality you have.
Stavros Halkias
And I don't have girls pass around like that, do they?
Julio Gallarotti
I mean look, you're not gonna. You're not gonna be less likely. The other thing is let's say you like someone, right? Let's say I went on a date with a girl. I was like she was really cool. And then we fudge it. She's got incredible pussy. You think I'm less likely to date her because of that? Like what the fuck are you even talking about? That's a big thing. That's like you're just talking about. I have a positive attribute. Attribute that women would like in a relationship.
Ricky Velez
Makes you a good candidate.
Julio Gallarotti
So what do you. You're just bragging you're not too good. You don't so good that women can't wrap their head around trapping your long term. If you were actually this good at. They would want to date you and it would enhance everything. Like look, I know I. I get. I. It's not because I'm handsome and. And svelte. You know what I mean? I'm a good. Listen, I'm not a bad looking guy. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.
Stavros Halkias
Dude.
Julio Gallarotti
I'm ugly, but I'm svelte. You're right.
Stavros Halkias
Like there's a story once you.
Julio Gallarotti
Now look.
Stavros Halkias
Drugs on your way out. I heard.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, exactly. But that's the thing.
Stavros Halkias
We all.
Julio Gallarotti
I get the. Because of it's. I leave my personalities at five out of five. Dick. We're talking, you know we're at three. You know what I mean? Puss eating. But let's bump that up. But anyway 3. 5. Yeah but like you know we all have a mix of stuff and who you are. The. The collective of who you are is what people are attracted to and they.
Stavros Halkias
Don'T collective of him is gonna be tough.
Julio Gallarotti
He gives me. Yeah, you're just annoying kid.
Stavros Halkias
Rich kid in small town.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Of like I every girl.
Julio Gallarotti
How many girls have you for real? Right.
Ricky Velez
He's also talking like the way like a guy who's rich who's like I girls only like me for my money.
Julio Gallarotti
Of course.
Ricky Velez
This is not how this works what he's saying.
Julio Gallarotti
Totally.
Ricky Velez
It's like. Like there's never been a. Like he's painting a picture where a girl's like, I guess I'll go home with this guy. And then she. Him and she's like, oh my God, that's not happening.
Stavros Halkias
He has a lot of money or he has a payment plan for like an ice. Like an ice bath.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. This guy does cold plunge. You're absolutely right. Yeah.
Ricky Velez
This is such. It sounds like when. If somebody's like, my weakness is that I work too hard.
Julio Gallarotti
Exactly, exactly.
Ricky Velez
It's like a.
Julio Gallarotti
And listen, I know I do have the. I have had the thought sometimes where I'm like, I do envy not funny guys because sometimes only for a brief moment, because if a dud makes a woman laugh, she wants to fuck him. You know what I mean? But like, I can make someone who hates me laugh, you know? And so I. There have been moments in my life where I'm like, I'd love to have that. There's no clearer sign that a woman's into you than if you're not funny and she's laughing at you. And I don't get to know that because, you know, generational talent. Talent over here. You know what I mean? So the same. This is what this guy might be saying with his dick. It's like, you might have an above average dick, right? But there's no. There's no way you can. And even in those moments where I'm like, oh, it'd be nice to know, but like, I would never trade being funny to just know if a girl likes me. You would never trade having this mythical prick to just ha. To just be like, well, if a girl was able to get over how bad I was at, then I know she'd really love me, which is ridiculous. That's crazy, dude. So anyway, we're not even to finish his question because I actually hate him. And we're going to move on to.
Stavros Halkias
The next one, the zip code. I had to be like, where is this from?
Julio Gallarotti
It makes no. Oh, is it? Is it?
Ricky Velez
It makes no sense whatsoever.
Julio Gallarotti
So, yeah, incredibly stupid. That pisses me. The guy pisses me off. And the fake humility too is the worst part. It's like, look, I swear, it's just such a problem for me.
Stavros Halkias
I want kids.
Ricky Velez
Should I get laid all the time?
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, I want kids. My dick's too good to have kids.
Caller
Hi, ST and guest. I have a question regarding relationship timelines on when it's right to think about moving in with someone. I've only been close to it once with a previous boyfriend, but those that ended and Currently, I'm dating someone. I feel very confident about this relationship. He treats me so well, and we have. Have such similarities and hobbies and things that we like, we don't like. And he comes from a good family, has a great job. I'm finishing up grad school right now, and I'm about to have an amazing job as well.
Julio Gallarotti
Nice.
Caller
And I just don't know how long I should wait until moving in together. Seems like a logical idea. I know that my roommate mates who just recently moved in with her boyfriend. Now they've been dating for like, five years, but granted, that was like a college relationship going into adulthood. And this is someone I, my current boyfriend, I met in adulthood. So I'm like, okay, five years seems like a good, decent time, but I don't know if I'm rushing things. We've been dating for like a little over a year now, and I'm like, all right, should I wait one more year and then see how things progress? I feel like it's too early, but I just wanted to know your thoughts on overall, a good time frame to move in. Thank you.
Julio Gallarotti
I'll defer to everybody else who's married, so I'll defer to you guys. I don't know. Do you have thoughts on this? I have general thoughts.
Ricky Velez
I mean. Yeah, like, like, whatever you. If you think it's the right time, it's the right time. I mean, in theory, if we had to objectively be like, is a year long enough? Like, probably. Yeah. And like, if you feel good about it, I don't think that there's any sort of arbitrary guidelines you need to adhere to to, like, it sounds like you guys are trending in a good position, in a good direction. The good point about the adulthood thing, you know, definitely, like, you're more secure with who you are type of thing. I don't see any reason why it.
Julio Gallarotti
Would be a bad idea.
Stavros Halkias
I just think, jump right in. Why not? What do you got to lose? You'll find out real quick.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
Yeah, right?
Stavros Halkias
Real quick. Don't waste the time anymore. Especially if you feel like you're in that adult space.
Julio Gallarotti
I say wait. I think one, one to me seems a little like they're. It sounds like they're like, probably in their, like, mid-20s. It'd be different if they were 30, right? Like, if they were 30. But like, grad school to me is like, ah, maybe one year is a little fast. If you're 24, 25, 26 or something, like, just, you know, you want to. He Knows you want to, too, but. Well, he may not. Who knows? I mean, maybe not. It's not a year. Really. Really. Let's also think about. Let's break it down, right? Because when you start dating someone, it's not like you see them every week, right? Like. Or maybe you do, I don't know, like, when you're. When you're. Maybe these people are different. They went on a date and they knew, and they've been seeing each other, you know, a couple times a week for a year. That's different than. Because there's people that, like, you date for three months and you've gone on like, four dates in those three months. Yeah. Right. So I guess that matters too. But anyway, I'm sorry to cut you off. Yeah. I don't know, I think you should probably just wait another year. Just hold it in and, you know, figure out some other living arrangement at the same time. Like, you know, if you really feel it strongly, you could bring it up to him. And I don't think that would necessarily, like, scare him off or anything if he doesn't want to, but, you know, make your intentions known or something. And worst case scenario, he could be like, ah, I don't know if now's the right time. But yeah, it just feels a little too short. Yeah. And you were the king of, like, being like, I still want to be in a serious relationship and I want this, but I'm not ready for these milestones. Like, you were hilarious, where I was like, what? I can't believe a woman is listening to. I'll just be like, I'm in this for the long term, but I need a little more time. It's like, for what you fuck. But anyway, it's worked out for you. Now I just got to hope one of my friends gets successful by accident so that I can have a job. And then we're waiting for. For that. But you. You were. To your credit, though, you would. It actually helped me because I have. I'm definitely somebody who has anxiety about relationships. And I. I did. As much as I'm busting your balls about it, I respected that because I've definitely been in situations where I've dated someone and they want to, like, move it forward, and it's been a little soon for me, but I did like them. And I was like, hey, this doesn't mean I'm not in into this relationship. It's just like, give me a little more time. Time I wish I had kind of had the, like, you know, I'd been Able to say that instead of just getting freaked the out and like damaging the relationship. So I do agree. Maybe you get one of those conversations and also she's saying she's about to graduate. She's about to have a great job. It's not the worst thing in the world to be. You're gonna have to worry about other than your relationship. Like, it's not the worst thing in the world to feel up. Maybe a little more established in your career. Like give it six months at this amazing new job job. Make sure you really like it.
Stavros Halkias
And then still a probation period.
Julio Gallarotti
Totally. And then. And then who knows, maybe you guys have two incomes. You get a sick place. That makes life easier. You know what I'm saying? So.
Stavros Halkias
But you.
Julio Gallarotti
But. But yes. The caveat that I think we've all given is that like, you're still old enough to know. I mean, you're. You're in your mid-20s and you really click with someone. It's not like you're a child bride. You know what's going on. You're ready to go. You're not. Yeah. You're not. Yeah. You're ready to go. If, if you're feeling that way. And, and I think just having the conversation about your intentions and about being. Getting more serious, I think that's a good first step and feeling out his timeline. But if you're both clicking, not necessarily too early, but that's the hard thing with this stuff. I think as a hard and fast rule, I would say give it a little more time if you're in your early to mid-20s. But there's these things are. There's always exceptions.
Stavros Halkias
And the other thing is, means like, he's a young guy. Right.
Julio Gallarotti
I think they're about the same age.
Stavros Halkias
If his life is dope, adding you to it has to just make it doper. That's what I always tell my people that are like, still single.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Still like looking. It's like, if it's. It's bringing down your life, like in any way shape.
Julio Gallarotti
I think that's true to it, bro. Well, dude, that was a big thing for me where I was like, I didn't even consider the fact that relationship could improve your life, which is so. Just tells you how fucked up all the, like every. Everyone like, dude, everyone that I grew up with, their parents had bad relationships. Yeah. Everybody like I. There was not one good one. Was like, that's what I want. It literally didn't dawn on me like my therapist was like, why don't like the rest of your life's pretty good. Are you interested in being a relationship? I was like, well I'm fucking busy. Like I got. And he was like. And I'm making, you know, saying excuses like, you know, if you were a relationship with someone you love, that would all become easier. Right? And I was like, what?
Ricky Velez
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
Whoa, that's crazy. So you know, if that's the case, you're, you're good to go.
Ricky Velez
Totally. And it's, I would say it's low risk too. Like even if, if you were to move in together and it were to not work out, it wouldn't be because you moved in together probably.
Julio Gallarotti
Right.
Ricky Velez
You know, I mean like that was probably going to happen anyway.
Julio Gallarotti
And either way you got to find that you got across this bridge. You know, there's like the relationship pyramid and it's like you guys are good enough for this. Like find out how much you're, how high you can climb.
Ricky Velez
Totally.
Julio Gallarotti
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Caller
Yo, Styles, first of all, love the show, Love watching it. So I got a question about a girl that I am about to propose to. So I'm a divorced dad, early 30s, and I love, love her. She's amazing. But the only thing I have a small reservation about is I feel like she loves me. But I have two kids, 7 and 4. She doesn't always love coming around when the kids are there. And I'm like, all right, you want to be together, you want to get married, but you don't love going around. The kids are there. I want you to be a part of her life. I want you to be their stepmom, maybe even a mom. Mom at some degree. So should I be concerned about this?
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Caller
Should I say something? Should I just let it ride? Because really, they're not her kids. Like, let me know.
Julio Gallarotti
Cool.
Caller
All right. Peace.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. I mean, you. This is an absolutely. A conversation you have to have. I mean, I know it sucks because it puts a damper on the romance. Right. Like, I feel for this guy because it's like he probably is in a place where he's like, I love this woman. Everything's perfect. I don't want to have to sort of like stop the momentum of like in. If. If I didn't have kids. This is a no brainer. I'm going to whatever. But it's like you do have, have kids, and they're your priority even more so than your new wife. Right. Like, at least I hope so. That's how it should be. And it's kind of like, it's kind of like having to like, you know. Yeah. You just have to. You'd like it to be just a purely romantic moment. But even with proposing with someone, I do feel like you have to have, like, conversate along the way. You're having conversations about your relationship and seeing if you guys are on the same page with your big values. You know what I mean? Like, at all. All couples have to have that. Like, do we want kids? Do you want to, you know, like, if you're, if you meet New York, A lot of people move to New York, but they, then they want to move back home. Like, you have to have that conversation. Like, where do you want to live? Where do you see yourself? You know, just your general values. Do you align on religion? Do you. Like, just this? And I feel. I don't know, maybe you guys did or didn't have these conversations, or at least you just kind of. It was just natural and you felt it out along the way just by getting to know and spending so much time together. But if this is. If this feels like a question mark to you, how she feels about. If you're like, she might be ambivalent about my children, like, you need an answer to that. You need an answer. You can't just be like, it can't be question mark.
Stavros Halkias
I wish there was more example. I wish there was, like, how he was like, hey, come over here this weekend. And she's like, you got the kids.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah.
Ricky Velez
Right, right, right, right.
Julio Gallarotti
Like, yeah. She's like, I'm good.
Stavros Halkias
I see you Monday.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, right.
Ricky Velez
Totally, totally.
Stavros Halkias
What time they get dropped off from school? What time? I don't know. That's. I mean, I feel like guys that are dating with kids. Anybody that's dating with kids should have, like. Like, almost like a tag deer, you know, you just, like, no going into it, what you're doing.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. It just. I don't know, it just feels like something you can't leave up to chance.
Ricky Velez
Agreed.
Julio Gallarotti
This is something. You have to have an explicit combo, and you would like for it to not need a convo. You'd like for her to be like, you know, maybe she, like, buy them little toys and be happy to see them and. And not want to spend all her time with them, but when she sees them, she's a nice presence there. Right?
Stavros Halkias
Like, this all on her. What if she shows up and the kids are like, you're not my mom.
Julio Gallarotti
No, you're right. And that. That's. But that's also a problem. Right?
Stavros Halkias
A problem there, too.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. So, yeah, dude.
Ricky Velez
And I. I get that this conversation can be tough because there's a world where she'll be like, what do you mean, I like them? Yeah, you know, I mean. And, like, I still think you can work beyond that, because you'd be like, all right. Well, I feel like sometimes maybe there's hesitation or whatever. Like, I don't know. Like, you just have to have this combo and then, you know, make the point that you could see yourself being with her and. And just want to make sure.
Julio Gallarotti
And does the environment work on it.
Stavros Halkias
Completely with the kids there? Like, do you not, like, hug her or cuddle with her if the kids are in the living room. Like is it, is it. Because that's the type of. Would make me stop showing up.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, I mean, I mean I do think that's like, is this the kind of thing that has to grow? Like I get not getting your kids. Like if you're somebody who's dating with and you're a single parent or co parenting or whatever, I think it makes sense to get to know the person first and decide whether they clear they're eligible to meet your kids. Right. But once they meet them after that and it's getting serious, you kind of want a relationship to form there. And if you feel like that hasn't happened at all and there's no even chance of that happening, that would scare me personally a little bit.
Stavros Halkias
Just, you know, how can you even say you look. Love her truly.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Love your.
Julio Gallarotti
I mean it's your kid.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
Like it's not your dog.
Stavros Halkias
Guessing if they like my kid. That'd be crazy.
Ricky Velez
Totally doesn't always love coming around. Yeah. I don't know. It's a.
Julio Gallarotti
It's a little tough and maybe this and, and, and maybe, you know, he just really likes her. Is really attract her. He's head over heels. But it's like it seems like he does because the fact that he's even considering this.
Ricky Velez
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
Cuz he just, he didn't even even say. Did he say I'm thinking about proposing? He's like, I'm about to propose. I'm about to propose, dad.
Stavros Halkias
Dude, you can't dirty.
Julio Gallarotti
You can't have. I, I wouldn't have even bought the ring if I don't know how she feels about my kids. You know what I mean? Like, hey, real quick before.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
I got a question I'm gonna ask you. But you like my kids, right? Just on a knee, about to open the thing up. She's like, oh yeah, yeah, whatever, whatever. All right.
Stavros Halkias
You're dating me, my kids at this point.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Like I can't, I can't get engaged without my kids knowing how my kids feel about this. Like this guy needs to like re evaluate what he's putting in front of.
Julio Gallarotti
She might have good to the other. The guy who talk about having two. Yeah. It's like maybe that's part of it. But I would also say something that would give me even a little more pause is that you should have some idea because let's say you have a conversation and it really, really clearly feels like a precursor to marriage. Who's to Say she's not gonna pretend she's into your kids just because she wants to get married. And then she might be kind of a shitty stepmom like you should have from like show, don't tell. She should show how she feels about your kids. To me, the natural way she interacts with them is actually more important than the words she says when you directly act. Ask her about it. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
You've convinced me. This guy should not get proposed.
Julio Gallarotti
I mean.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, unless propose.
Julio Gallarotti
Unless he's been a little. Unless he's been like, he hasn't been clear and like maybe she's just prefers to go out, whatever. But it's like, you know, I don't know.
Stavros Halkias
But yeah, he keeps telling her it's his brother and sister.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah. So real quick, mama.
Stavros Halkias
I'm gonna come pick him up in a little bit.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
These are young kids, you know, I mean like, like they can. Without a doubt. It seems like they're an age where it might even be theoretically easier than if they were like 13.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, no, it's definitely easier to get 74 year old to like you.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, hard.
Julio Gallarotti
There's a kind of an age where it's like it doesn't matter anymore. Like if you have like teenage kids who really gives a. You know what I mean? Like, like that kind of sucks. And in a perfect world you should. But ultimately they're about to be out of the house. House. This is not that totally. This is not that she's going to be around for their. The rest of their, you know, childhood and early adulthood.
Ricky Velez
So this is more unique almost.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, it is. So good luck, man. Really think about it and kind of listen to what we said and talk to her and be honest with yourself. Oh, dude, do I have to?
Caller
Again, sorry I left a little bit of context on the last call. Me and my girlfriend have been arguing about this hypothetical scenario for a bit. Little, little bit. We just recently became friends with this other couple. They are in a different tax bracket than us. We are still in school. They're a little bit further along in life. They definitely make a good living. The hypothetical is if they offered take us on a paid vacation that they paid for.
Julio Gallarotti
Hold on a second. You and your girlfriend have been arguing. You've made a. You've made rich friends and you're arguing. You're arguing over whether you would accept a free paid vacation from them. Why the is this even coming up?
Ricky Velez
I get it.
Julio Gallarotti
Really?
Stavros Halkias
I got this. Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
Really?
Stavros Halkias
Dude, nothing's free.
Julio Gallarotti
I know.
Stavros Halkias
I know, but, like, that's how you end up in. What.
Julio Gallarotti
In one world does this. But does this even happen?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
Yeah.
Julio Gallarotti
Really?
Ricky Velez
Yeah. And, like, suddenly you're in this, like, weird, unbalanced relationship, or you're like, you're the greatest, and I'll do anything you want to try to make up for this, like, without actually saying it, and the other person just is, like, Starts being disrespectful to you and.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah.
Ricky Velez
I don't know. Like, it's a weird dynamic.
Julio Gallarotti
I guess I just never. Like, the only people I've even considered is, like, if we went out. Like, I even think, like, if we went to, like, Greece or whatever and I got a place, I literally wouldn't charge you to live to stay there, because it's like, who cares? Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
But now what you're doing in Greece. Trees. He's doing. Because.
Julio Gallarotti
No, no. But we're. I guess what I'm saying is I would only do it for my absolute best friends. Right? Where there's no question about this being reciprocal at all.
Ricky Velez
Right.
Julio Gallarotti
I would never do it for, like, if I was dating someone, we met a cool couple, I'd never be like, why don't you guys. Why don't I pay for your flight? Like, I don't like them that much.
Stavros Halkias
There's a level of wealth of that, though.
Julio Gallarotti
I guess you're right. I guess you're right. Obviously. True, true, true.
Stavros Halkias
Somebody brings stuff out on vacation.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, I guess that's. Let me not get out of myself. I'm just wondering what the fuck's going on, but go ahead. Eldest.
Stavros Halkias
Sorry.
Caller
Paid vacation that they paid for. I don't know if it's more rude to accept the offer or decline the offer or if it's rude at all. I don't. Basically, the context that I left out is that they are definitely the type of. Of couple, like, the type of people to do this. They're very giving. They're very nice. They've also flirted with the idea of, like, us going on group vacations, and they know that we are not in the financial, like, stage of our life to be able to do that. So I think that it's a very realistic conversation that we might have with them. But my girlfriend thinks that under no circumstance whatsoever would we ever accept that offer. She does not feel comfortable with other people paying for us when it's that large of an amount of money.
Julio Gallarotti
I kind of get where she's coming from.
Caller
I do agree with her. Like, I. I don't like the idea of someone paying for like thousands of dollars for us. I think that it would be like. I think that I would initially say, like, no, like, we can't have, like, we can't accept that. But on the flip side, I feel like it's a little rude to decline.
Ricky Velez
An offer like that.
Caller
If someone is like, bringing you a gift and they. I just like, if someone brings you a gift and you decline the gift, it's kind of rude to do something like that.
Julio Gallarotti
It's not.
Caller
I think that if they understand the financial implications, they know how much money costs, but they don't care. Like, they know we can't pay for it. They just want us to come along with them and share the experience. Part of me feels like it's rude to say no. I don't like the idea of degrading the friendship to a monetary perspective, but I also don't like the idea of someone paying thousands of dollars for me. So I would love your perspective. I know you guys are well off. How would you feel, feel if somebody said no, if you offered them a vacation?
Julio Gallarotti
I'm just not offering anyone like this. Like, I just. There's no world where I would. But you're right, there are. There's like, again, this. If it's not my best friends in the world where there's not like, yeah, I have money, so I get my. The people that knew me when I had nothing, I feel no problem giving them very generous gifts. But new people in my life, I don't do that. I just feel like it is. Is weird because it does. There is a weird, like, money some. Because I don't want to feel. You don't want them to feel like they're your little plaything for the week?
Ricky Velez
Totally.
Julio Gallarotti
You know what I mean? Like, you're almost like a. You're like an emotional, you know, like, sex worker. It's like a friendship prostitute. You know what I mean?
Stavros Halkias
There's also part of it where they don't look at money at all the way these two people look at money.
Julio Gallarotti
That's very possible.
Stavros Halkias
And it's a lot about experience. And it's all about, like, it has nothing to do with. With the cash or the money. It's just like time. But that's what they want us to be around.
Julio Gallarotti
And I agree with you, but I think you can't take that chance because I think most people with this level of wealth aren't like that. You know what I mean?
Ricky Velez
Like, it depends. It depends who they are. And also, first of all, it's not rude to decline. I don't feel comfortable with this.
Julio Gallarotti
And it's fine. I think it's.
Ricky Velez
We can't contribute.
Julio Gallarotti
I think it's crazier to accept. Personally, I think you. If I didn't have the money and somebody asked me this, I think I. I would just. I agree with his girlfriend where it's like. And what you said earlier, nothing's free. Like, nothing's really free.
Stavros Halkias
You're going to have to do what they want to do. You're going to have to. And like, that might be fine. How much do you know about these people? Are they swingers?
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, there's real chance to that. The implication.
Stavros Halkias
There's. There's other things that I would have checked before I absolutely took that trip, but they don't. If they're offering that, it's either they don't look at money the same way you do do, or there's something else that they're about to pull on.
Julio Gallarotti
It's like to them, it's like there is the possibility. To them it's just like buying a burger. It's not a deal that it's like, who cares?
Ricky Velez
But even then they don't. The person taking you on the trip does it. So I've been in this situation a.
Julio Gallarotti
Lot of times, by the way.
Stavros Halkias
She's been in this.
Julio Gallarotti
Oh, interesting, interesting.
Ricky Velez
So the thing I find interesting is that the person being generous doesn't realize what might happen once they're not in a good mood or the way that their mind might change.
Julio Gallarotti
Change.
Ricky Velez
They don't realize that. So you're putting yourself in a position where it might become uncomfortable for you when they're in a bad mood. And like, now you suddenly, suddenly it's a little different. So, like, it's okay to initially push back. And a person who, like, understands that the dynamic is weird. There is the type of person who gets it and can put all of your fears to the side. And then there's a world where you could theoretically take the chance and you bring them a nice gift, you pay for dinner one of the.
Julio Gallarotti
The nights.
Ricky Velez
And in theory that can be fine, but it has to be the right person.
Julio Gallarotti
You really got to thread the needle on that.
Stavros Halkias
But I'm even telling you, like, buying the dinner can be a problem in those situations where they don't want you to spend the thing or that.
Ricky Velez
Agreed. Or contributing the dinner is still way more money than you can contribute.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ricky Velez
Which then you're like, I went on this great vacation. They paid for me. I felt Like a loser. And I spent more money than I could.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, and you lose in every category. Well, it's like. It's like. It's like, like the. The talented Mr. Ripley. You know what I mean? Have you seen that movie where it's like, yes. Where it's like, yeah. He's like, yeah. Sometimes rich friends are awesome until they're in a bad mood, right? Or they just use you as they see you as a plaything or something like that. And I do think there's definitely people with that kind of wealth that are nice. But I think more than often than not, it's. They're weird sociopaths. Like, I just think, like, statistically speaking, if you're like it, like. And again, I'm just saying I would never do it.
Stavros Halkias
I had one. I had one where the guy invited me to go somewhere and he wouldn't invite my wife.
Julio Gallarotti
I mean, that's crazy.
Stavros Halkias
And that's where I was.
Julio Gallarotti
And he was trying to. You okay, dude? Not inviting your wife's insane.
Stavros Halkias
And I asked.
Julio Gallarotti
And that's what I'm talking about, dude. That. That's like. I'm just saying, the. The. The more money people get, the weirder they get, man. There's. And. And selfish in ways they don't even realize. You know what I mean? If you're somebody who's. Who's had every need tended to them their whole. Your whole life, you just don't. You're right. They don't even know that they're being weird. Oh. But no.
Stavros Halkias
Can turn these people off completely. The rich people can never talk to them again.
Julio Gallarotti
But you know what? But if that's the case, you've got dodged a huge bullet. And.
Ricky Velez
And they're not going to, like. Yeah, I would say.
Julio Gallarotti
I don't think so.
Ricky Velez
It would be un. Like obviously, totally. But like, the more likely situation is just be honest and don't be like a loser about it. Don't be like a moper. Be like, look, we don't feel comfortable accepting this trip. And like, we're still students or whatever he said, like. And we're just like, not in a place to go on a trip like that, as you know, and it's really generous of you to offer, but I don't think we feel comfortable accepting at that point. The guy might counter and say something that makes you feel comfortable comfortable or.
Julio Gallarotti
And here's the other thing. Like, let's say I was in a situation like this for whatever. Let's say I found somebody new that I wanted to take on vacation platonically. Right. And they were like, I'm not, you know, the expensive thing is too crazy. What if you counter and you're like, well, how about I get a house on the lake? It's like you drive up, don't worry about, I'll pay for the Airbnb. Bring some hot dog. Like if it's really about hanging out, out, you can have a great time and like we'll do something cheap where it's like instead of it being a ten thousand dollar gift, it's like it's an eight hundred gift and I'm going to the. By the way, I'm going to the lake house anyway. You show up, you don't show up. No. Bring some well grill or something like that. Maybe there is a middle ground there where it's like if you really just want to spend time with each other, they would be willing to fight to find something that's like kind of acceptable. Right.
Ricky Velez
Right.
Julio Gallarotti
Know.
Stavros Halkias
But with G here. I think it like this isn't a very rare thing.
Julio Gallarotti
Interesting.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, it's really not as rare as you think it is.
Ricky Velez
There's a, there's a, like movies about this. There's this movie with Bridget Bardo from the 60s where like Bridget Bardo and I think it's called Contempt. I don't remember specifically but like they.
Julio Gallarotti
That'S what I'm saying.
Ricky Velez
They invite the couple on vacation and basically by the end of it the like the dude hosted them ends up like banging the dude's wife.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, of course. But that's what I'm talking about. What the exact. Exactly. This is not good. Even if it's not rare, it's fucked up. That's my contention. You know what I mean? Like it's out there because rich people, super rich people are freaks. That's why it's not rare. And they want to do weird shit sometimes. And that's why I think like, I guess I haven't really experienced it, but I just, I wouldn't. It's the funny thing to get rich after being poor your whole life. I don't have rich brain, but I just have money. And to me I'm like, this is crazy. I would never do this.
Ricky Velez
Their heads are in the right place. Like the fact that you have that instinct to begin with makes me think.
Julio Gallarotti
You could take this girlfriend. His girlfriend's head is in the right place. He's like, come on, it's rude. This guy's like, I'm trying to go to the Bahamas. If you Got to suck his dick once. What? Who cares? Who cares? And then we're on the beach.
Ricky Velez
P. You could probably get away with going on this trip and having it not be a big deal.
Julio Gallarotti
Deal.
Ricky Velez
But, like, don't make a habit of it, because eventually the weird power balance is going to emerge.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, I mean, I'm. I just am. I'm on. It's not rude. You're doing mental gymnastics because you want to go on the trip. Your girlfriend is the only one with her head straight. Their head on straight. And she probably also knows that if somebody's. Nothing's free and if somebody's got to pay the piper, I think she knows who it is between the two of you. It would be funny if they. It would. It would be funny if they get there and they just want to peg him and he's like, I thought I was going to slut out my wife, but now I'm getting slutted out.
Ricky Velez
What the.
Julio Gallarotti
He was like, well, this sucks.
Stavros Halkias
My wife is nuts.
Julio Gallarotti
I. I was. I was recently seeing. There was a. Just some clips about a pimp who was like, if you want to pay me to my, that's okay with me. He was like. He was like. He was like, He's $500. He was. He was. He was like, just bring my. At the end of the night, bring my horse back to my stable. It was awesome. He's like, what the would I. He's like, no, we're just on the bus shivering, but she's fine. He's like, look, to each their own, I suppose. All right, we got something fun for us to go out on here, Eldis.
Caller
Yeah, stop me, my boy. I'm a pothead, and I get high a lot. And when I get high, I look for that perfect, perfect munchie.
Julio Gallarotti
Okay. I don't know, but it seems like.
Caller
Every time I fall flat, I. I can't.
Julio Gallarotti
Why is he so breath.
Caller
Get to that point of munchy nirvana. I've tried the meatloaf. I've tried the bowl of cereal. I've tried the Taco Bell. I've even tried the homemade gnome milky. What are you talking with vodka sauce. I've tried the Haagen Dazs ice cream. Nothing hits that spot that I'm looking for. And I'm getting irritated. And honestly, I can't afford to up next time.
Julio Gallarotti
He's just got a weird character.
Caller
You're high or drunk as or whatever. It's 2am I don't like.
Julio Gallarotti
What are you gonna choose? You've got Two that you let slide this week.
Caller
Thank you.
Julio Gallarotti
Bad the guy who. Too good in this guy. This guy in his weird voice. Gotta let all perspectives. And by the way, I know what happened. I came in. You guys got here at 1 elders here at 1255 looking up calls. He's like, yeah, yeah, whatever. It's good enough. I hate this guy's voice, but I am willing to dis he. Luckily, he. He is asking one of my favorite things to discuss, which is like, perfect meals. Meals that hit the spot. I mean, he also listed a bizarre collection of things. Meatloaf, bowl of cereal, Taco Bell, homemade gnocchi with vodka sauce, and Haagen Dazs. It's like with the. I'm not a meatloaf guy. But with the exception of that, all of this should hit the spot. I don't really know what the fuck the problem is here. I guess. You know, there is a. There is a really nice thing when you're. When you're, like, getting up where you're not. At least for me, when my eating disorder, you know, my food addiction gets so crazy that I don't even crave things anymore. I'm just eating to hurt myself. That sucks. But there's. Right before that, you have very specific cravings. Totally. And when you knit, you just wake up one day, you're like, I have to have Peruvian chicken and ribs and blood. You know what I mean? And you're just like, I have my. I have my marching orders for the day. You know what I mean? Like, I know exactly what I'm gonna do, and I know it's gonna make me so happy. And there are. There's like. That does feel really good. So I don't know. You know, what do you want us to tell you what you want to eat? Because I can tell you, you know, for me month, it's not hard right now to nail munchies. You know what I mean? I'll. You serve me anything delicious. I'm good to go. Go when I'm high.
Ricky Velez
OCD medication or something like. This is clearly just a weird thing like that because, like, these are clearly all his favorite foods. And if they're not hitting the spot, you're just, like, overthinking it, man. You, like, need medication.
Julio Gallarotti
Well, he might be where I was talking about, where it's like he's done having cravings and now he's just hurting himself with the food out, you know, because I've definitely.
Ricky Velez
That's like a. That's like a time period, like a Broad time period.
Julio Gallarotti
I think what happens is it starts. Yeah. For me, anyway. Yes. What would happen is. Is like, you just start eating a little worse. A little, you know, your regular food, and then you get a little, you know, maybe a side of fries, whatever. And then you're just like, all right, I'm squarely. I don't care about what I'm eating anymore. Now I'm like, what do. I'm really craving? You know? Now we've taken. There's. The guardrails are off. We can get anything we want. And there's a beautiful honeymoon period where you know exactly what you want to eat. And then you.
Stavros Halkias
You.
Julio Gallarotti
You eat so much, and you overeat and you get tired, the novelty gone, but your brain still wants that itch scratch, like. And you'll just have dog. You'll just have that, you know, you don't want.
Ricky Velez
You don't like cinnamon candy?
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, yeah. Just whatever's there. I remember I was. I was like. I used to work at a community college. I remember I would get in line, pissed off already about the sandwich. I hadn't ordered yet, but I knew I was gonna eat it. There was no way I wasn't gonna get the shitty Italian sub, fries, and chicken tenders on my break. And I was just. They're like, this is going to suck. And it's like, I could have gone anywhere. I could have stopped, got in my car and gone somewhere good. But it's just addiction, so maybe that's where you're at. I don't know. He didn't sound fat. He sounded like some weird guy doing a voice.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, just pizza not even being on that list.
Julio Gallarotti
I know.
Stavros Halkias
Crazy.
Julio Gallarotti
Agreed.
Stavros Halkias
Because that's, like, the best.
Julio Gallarotti
Pizza's awesome. I mean, Taco Bell not hitting the spot isn't crazy to me. Like, you're high. I'm not mad. You can hand me a random bag of Taco Bell when I'm high. I'll figure it out.
Stavros Halkias
I would say that up until, like, a week ago, they started serving chicken nuggets, bro.
Julio Gallarotti
I see Taco Bell I'm interested in.
Stavros Halkias
That's like.
Julio Gallarotti
Like, that might get me back in. I need to know what Taco Bell's nuggets are like, brother, I'm a. I need to know. I need to know.
Stavros Halkias
It's like when Sweet Green got French fries. I was like, this isn't healthy anymore. This is.
Julio Gallarotti
I think they opened in Ohio for real. And then they were like, a month later, they're like, all right, we're Adding slushies and french fries. They literally added some Midwest locations. They had french fries the next month.
Ricky Velez
Just chasing the dragon, dude.
Julio Gallarotti
You might just be chasing the dragon, in which case get help for your eating disorder. And if not, it's like, dude, these should hit the spot. I don't know what to tell you. You have to just be more. And if you don't. If you have to be more, if you don't think you're overeating and in the throws of addiction, then I would say make this more of a treat.
Ricky Velez
Totally. Take a break from all.
Julio Gallarotti
Take a break from getting this high. Try and, like, only do it when you re. You're like, oh, I really feel like getting Chinese and like, order the exact order and don't try and do it every day because that's what it up. So, yeah, that's. That's our advice. I actually do have to. So that is the end of the. The program has ended. Man. I thought I was dire. We'll see if it's solid, guys. We'll let you know. But thank. Guys, thank you so much for coming.
Ricky Velez
Thanks for having us.
Julio Gallarotti
Absolutely. Fun. This was so fun.
Ricky Velez
As always.
Julio Gallarotti
Watch. Julio, watch. Watch your stuff. You guys are both on the road coming up. Or we can.
Ricky Velez
When is this.
Julio Gallarotti
When does it come out? It's probably come out in July. So.
Ricky Velez
Yeah, I'm at Duck Comedy club at Duckworth, 17th to 19th in Charlotte, New York City, August 21st. Not julio.com for tickets.
Julio Gallarotti
Hell yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And I'm doing a run in September starting September. And I will have those dates up shortly. Yeah, please come out.
Julio Gallarotti
Just send them to us. We'll put them.
Stavros Halkias
Awesome. Thank you, man.
Julio Gallarotti
Yeah, thanks, guys. Guys, we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.
Stavros Halkias
Thanks.
Podcast Title: Stavvy's World
Episode: #136 - Ricky Velez and Giulio Gallarotti
Release Date: July 7, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias
In Episode #136 of Stavvy's World, host Stavros Halkias welcomes longtime friends and guests Ricky Velez and Julio Gallarotti. The episode kicks off with Stavros sharing exciting news about upcoming live shows across the UK, Ireland, and various cities in the United States, including a special appearance at the O2 Shepherd's Bush Empire in London on September 7th and additional dates in cities like Manchester, Glasgow, Memphis, and Austin. Stavros enthusiastically invites listeners to join these events, emphasizing the camaraderie and fun awaiting attendees.
The conversation quickly delves into Ricky's memorable—and somewhat chaotic—experience during a previous podcast session. Ricky recounts, "The last time I did this was like, probably one of the worst days of my life." At 03:02, Julio probes into the details, leading Ricky to reveal that he got "unbelievably high" during the show. The trio humorously discusses the repercussions of being too elevated on cannabis, with Julio reminiscing about their "Kush Brothers" days and the challenges of maintaining sobriety after such experiences.
The friends explore the fine line between recreational use and addiction. Ricky shares his struggle: "I got really, really, really deeply high and thought terrible things and then took them with me into sobriety." Julio empathizes, highlighting the dangerous allure of potent strains: "There's evil weed out there, man. There's evil weed that's ready to just completely destroy you." Their candid discussion sheds light on the personal battles many face with substance use, blending humor with serious reflections on mental health and dependency.
Transitioning to life in New York, Stavros expresses his mixed feelings about the city's transformation: "I worked so hard to move into the city and then the city turned into the hood." The conversation touches on the loss of New York's romantic allure, now overshadowed by rising living costs and changing neighborhoods. Julio and Ricky reminisce about their early days in Queens Village, the evolution of their surroundings, and the impact of events like the COVID-19 pandemic on their personal lives. They discuss the challenges of maintaining a stable life amidst a city of constant change, humorously debating the merits of moving to different boroughs like Bayside or Whitestone.
A particularly intense story unfolds around a trip to Rochester, where Stavros and Ricky had a run-in with local authorities. Ricky details a surreal experience: "He tries to plant coke on me and... we were wearing jackets with no shirts underneath." The friends recount the absurdity of being accused falsely, leading to a humorous yet tense encounter with the police. Julio adds to the tale, emphasizing the lengths they went to defuse the situation: "I just started screaming. And I actually had called my agent, and to this day, I still don't know what he said." This segment highlights the unpredictable nature of life on the road and the camaraderie that helps navigate such challenges.
The episode continues with lively discussions about international travels, including Ricky's ventures to Africa and the misadventures that ensue when substance use intersects with travel. They share anecdotes about dealing with jet lag, dietary mishaps, and cultural encounters, all while balancing their comedic personas. Notably, Ricky jokes about his frequent bouts of diarrhea from poor eating choices abroad, describing them as a "lifetime of diarrhea" that complicates his travel experiences.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to listener interactions. One caller seeks advice on navigating insecurities in a long-term relationship exacerbated by social media content. Ricky and Julio engage deeply with the caller's concerns, discussing the impact of digital algorithms on personal relationships. Julio offers practical advice:
"Set your boundaries, stick to it. And if he doesn't want to meet you there, you don't owe him anything."
They emphasize the importance of honest communication and self-reflection in addressing relationship challenges, blending empathy with straightforward counsel.
Another caller tackles the dilemma of when to move in with a significant other. The couple has been dating for a little over a year, and the caller feels confident but uncertain about the appropriate timeline. Ricky advises:
"If you think it's the right time, it's the right time. I don't think that there's any sort of arbitrary guidelines you need to adhere to."
Julio suggests a cautious approach, recommending open conversations about mutual expectations and ensuring both partners are aligned on their long-term goals before making such a significant commitment.
Throughout the episode, Ricky and Julio infuse humor into their discussions, poking fun at each other's quirks and sharing lighthearted banter. They reflect on their personal growth, the importance of self-awareness, and the value of maintaining genuine relationships amidst the chaos of their professional and personal lives.
As the episode winds down, Stavros reiterates the importance of upcoming live shows and encourages listeners to participate. The friends bid farewell with promises of more engaging content and continued support for each other's endeavors.
Notable Quotes:
Episode #136 of Stavvy's World offers a blend of comedic anecdotes, personal stories, and heartfelt advice on relationships and personal struggles. Ricky Velez and Julio Gallarotti provide candid insights into their lives, engaging listeners with their genuine camaraderie and relatable discussions. Whether navigating the highs and lows of substance use, the complexities of modern relationships, or the ever-changing landscape of New York City, this episode delivers both laughter and meaningful takeaways for its audience.