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Bubba Wallace
Bubba Wallace here from 2311 Racing. Funny thing about being fast, you end.
Stavros Halkias
Up waiting a lot.
Bubba Wallace
First to show up, first in line, then just waiting.
Stavros Halkias
Me, I rev up Chumba casino with over 200 social casino games. No slow lanes here. Why sit around when you can spin?
Felix Biederman
I'm already racing.
Stavros Halkias
Your turn. Play for free@chumbacasino.com. let's Chumba. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by Law 21. Terms and conditions apply. OPA. Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We have two absolute geniuses, Brain geniuses.
Felix Biederman
On the couch right now.
Stavros Halkias
Felix Biederman. Nicholas Mullen. You ever go by Nicholas? I'm gonna start Nicholas Mullen.
Felix Biederman
I always wanted letters.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what, you don't have a middle name?
Felix Biederman
I mean, I do, but it would be NJ, which is not. Like, you can't go by.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, NJ. NJ.
Felix Biederman
Autistic move, NJ.
Stavros Halkias
Mullen. NJ's not bad. What you. What would yours be?
Bubba Wallace
Mine? I. I would.
Stavros Halkias
Middle name.
Bubba Wallace
F.C. beiderman.
Stavros Halkias
F.C. berman. That's pretty good.
Felix Biederman
That's like. Yeah, that's like a race car driver.
Stavros Halkias
What's the BE? Not bad.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, it is sort of F1. I was thinking, like, it sounds sort of eugenicis.
Felix Biederman
You should go by F1. Beaterman.
Stavros Halkias
What? Wait, what is the middle? I always like when someone would just do the first name. Like our.
Felix Biederman
Our.
Stavros Halkias
We had a pal that went by T. Brad. Yes. Or F. Scott Fitzgerald. What would. What's your. I would be S. Emmanuel Halkius. Se Is horrible. Se House.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, I feel like that's a. That's, like a girl's initial.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, you're right. What's the C in.
Bubba Wallace
It's Charles.
Stavros Halkias
Charles. Ooh, my F. Charles Biederman's actually really good. Dude.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah. I, like. I hated my first name when I was a little kid because it was. It was weird. My parents almost made me.
Felix Biederman
Well, there's a cat.
Stavros Halkias
Felix the Cat's awesome.
Felix Biederman
When you're a little kid, your name can't rhyme with anything. Yeah, I can't be a reference to anything.
Stavros Halkias
I feel like Felix the Cat was cool, though.
Felix Biederman
It was like, you know the rules. It literally doesn't matter.
Stavros Halkias
I always.
Bubba Wallace
I always thought that, like, Felix the Cat. Cat. Like, the last people that watched it, like, died in the Korean War.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
Like, it was.
Stavros Halkias
It is kind of Betty Boop adjacent. Yeah, it's like Betty Boopa without getting pushed like, there's no in it. It's just like some fun. You're right. Some gas cat.
Bubba Wallace
Does he like. Does he. Is there like a Felicia that he tries to like, even horny?
Stavros Halkias
No.
Felix Biederman
I found out there's a girl Garfield. Did you know that?
Stavros Halkias
I do know. Yeah.
Felix Biederman
It's not normal, by the way.
Stavros Halkias
Normal's a little boy.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, normal, normal.
Felix Biederman
Would they say that but was a.
Stavros Halkias
Little boy dud, dude? Nah. Oh, look, Felix the cat does have some Annabelle, apparently. Oh, no, there's Kitty the cat. I mean, that's.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, that was a last minute edition.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Yeah. She looks kind of hot. Pull her up there. Eldest. What are you doing right here? Here's a beer. I mean, that's not bad. Candy Kitty. I'd. Candy Kitty. That's pretty hot right there. But yeah, I don't know.
Felix Biederman
Does she pull stuff out of her.
Stavros Halkias
That'S magic.
Felix Biederman
Putting her mag. Who's the old guy that hates the cat?
Stavros Halkias
Oh, isn't that. Are you thinking Gargamel from the Smurfs?
Felix Biederman
No, no. In Felix, the bad guy is an old guy with a mustache that hates Felix and wants to kill him and get his back.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, really?
Felix Biederman
Yeah. No, not that guy. The old man. Master cylinder. I'm gonna put my cylinder in there.
Stavros Halkias
Isn't that the Simpsons?
Felix Biederman
No, it's this guy, this old man.
Stavros Halkias
Well, whatever. Who gives a. I do.
Felix Biederman
I want to get to the bott.
Stavros Halkias
That's.
Felix Biederman
That's how I spent my Dexter. Trying to remember things from cartoons. Getting it wrong and then looking up, being like, that's right.
Bubba Wallace
I want to go. I want to go to the talk page for the Felix the Cat fan.
Stavros Halkias
Wikia Professor. Is it just Professor. There's old King Cole. I just remember seeing Felix cat when I was a kid and it feeling kind of trippy and I only saw one. I literally only saw it one time, but it stuck with me forever.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, I don't recall ever seeing it. I just know this guy and he wants Felix's bag.
Stavros Halkias
Well, you seem to know a lot about him.
Felix Biederman
I do.
Stavros Halkias
Does he have a fucking bag? I don't even know that.
Bubba Wallace
Felix, that was like his only thing.
Felix Biederman
Felix has a magic bag of tricks that he can pull whatever he wants out of.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, okay. Interesting.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. Hence the pussy thing.
Stavros Halkias
I thought you were just asking that about the other cat's pussy.
Felix Biederman
Can you fuck the cat?
Stavros Halkias
I would like to fuck.
Felix Biederman
How would she do?
Stavros Halkias
So anyway, so you didn't go by F. So did you go by Charles for a second? No, I.
Bubba Wallace
That was like Too much commitment.
Stavros Halkias
Chuck F. Chuck Beiderman's pretty good dude. They did.
Bubba Wallace
They did suggest that to me, like, that I could.
Stavros Halkias
Chuck Berman.
Bubba Wallace
I. Yeah, I know.
Stavros Halkias
Kind of sounds too much like Chuck Klosterman.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah. And I've been trying to avoid that.
Stavros Halkias
You guys are so similar, you and Chuck.
Bubba Wallace
I would risk blindness for laughs. No offense to him.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to love it. I used to be. I used to be like 17 and thinking I was smart. As for reading Chuck Klosterman books, being like, damn, this is good ass essays.
Bubba Wallace
I read it. Yeah. I remember the first one I read when I was in like sixth grade. And I was like, this would be the coolest job.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
Like a guy who writes a book about music videos he saw.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
Even easier thing, that is to talk about, like, articles that read the headlines about a week ago.
Stavros Halkias
Well, speaking of, don't you guys have a book that's the whole Chapo. Year Zero. Right?
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, no, this is. Well, Year Zero is the title we would have went with for the book we wrote like, you know, 17 years ago.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's about. That's because it's named after your penis. The length of your penis.
Felix Biederman
Seventeen.
Stavros Halkias
Zero. Year Zero.
Felix Biederman
Oh, yeah.
Stavros Halkias
You know, and it's actually also named after your penis as well.
Felix Biederman
Year.
Bubba Wallace
What a coincidence.
Stavros Halkias
Zero. No, just zero. No, it's mostly the zero part.
Felix Biederman
It's both of ours.
Stavros Halkias
He's already zero.
Felix Biederman
I gotta be.
Stavros Halkias
You're also zero.
Felix Biederman
365.
Stavros Halkias
No.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, that's not how that works.
Nicholas Mullen
Sorry.
Stavros Halkias
Well, actually. Actually, you know. Yeah, because time is a different dimension, so it doesn't exist. It's time, which is fin. Fine. Because we can't even fathom it. So a can't get by it because it's. Time is passing by.
Felix Biederman
You can get by time. I've had that happen.
Bubba Wallace
That's the way most people get.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, really? Well, anyway.
Felix Biederman
It is messed up that if you just. You can wait around and eventually you'll die. You can't just wait around and get your dick sucked.
Stavros Halkias
I guess not.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
I mean, it's.
Stavros Halkias
Anyway, what are the odds? Now does your dick out and where are you?
Felix Biederman
You're in the women's locker room at the YMCA. And you get maybe 20 minutes before the cops are there.
Stavros Halkias
I think if there was some kind of magical. If you were like kind of. If you were sort of protected by magic where they couldn't arrest you.
Felix Biederman
Felix.
Stavros Halkias
You reach into Felix's bag, you put a fucking shield over you Every part of you but your dick.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And you're in a woman's locker room for eternity.
Felix Biederman
So you have. You have seen Felix then?
Stavros Halkias
Well, no, I'm just going off context clues.
Felix Biederman
That's. Well, that's what I remember.
Stavros Halkias
Anyway.
Bubba Wallace
Look, the point is that was like the Steamboat Willie.
Felix Biederman
That was kind of. That was the first one.
Stavros Halkias
He puts his dick out in the ymca. His dick is out for eternity until it gets sucked.
Felix Biederman
There's a Gucci bag with a cock hanging out of it. Women keep coming by, sucking it, trying to get the bag. And then a cat comes out and then they're all throwing up because they've sucked off. They're filled with cat comb. They realized they've been filled.
Stavros Halkias
Right. They thought it was a man's cop.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
It wasn't. Yeah. Interesting, interesting, interesting. Yeah, I haven't seen that one. But I do think eventually you get your dick sucked if your dick was just out of the YMCA women's locker room. Thoughts?
Bubba Wallace
I mean like Felix. So like for the women, the ywca, do they. Is that also for like down and out women? Like the way the YMCA was first sort of down and out.
Stavros Halkias
That is how. When did that stop, by the way? Because I would. You would read. You read an old book and it would be like a drifter would go get a room at the ymca. I don't think it stopped.
Bubba Wallace
Stopped.
Stavros Halkias
You can still get a room at the ymca.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. It just became known it's a shitty gym now. That's all it is.
Stavros Halkias
But there's still be able to sleep in the locker room, basically.
Bubba Wallace
Well, I mean it became known for another thing besides being like.
Felix Biederman
It was song is when it ends.
Stavros Halkias
So when they started having gay sex. Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
When it became like a cruising spot. Like sort of what they had to have instead of grindr, they picked one civil organization where there was lodging.
Stavros Halkias
Interesting.
Bubba Wallace
And they're like, we'll all go here.
Stavros Halkias
So they kind of.
Bubba Wallace
There's no. Dude, no one has a phone or apps.
Stavros Halkias
So gay men reverse gentrified the ymca. They did the opposite of what they do to neighborhoods because they. They made the YMCA a shitty gym. When it used to be a cool place you could fucking cool out for.
Bubba Wallace
I don't think it was a cool place.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, it was hobos. Bums would like did that after you.
Bubba Wallace
Like got kicked out of your house when you're nine and then like assaulted.
Stavros Halkias
By hobos on the rails.
Felix Biederman
Come out, come out.
Bubba Wallace
1973, something. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
So probably up until the late 60s, you could probably rent A cot there? Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
I mean, I would think like past that. I think like when the song came out, they were like, okay, we have to. This is a problem now.
Stavros Halkias
No more. No more beds they're having. But then people. Then Gaga just moved to steam rooms. To where they're still doing it today.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. And it's weird because it's just. It's not the dry sauna. Did I tell you that story? I was at my gym and a gay guy tried to come into the dry sauna instead of the steam room.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, the steam room.
Felix Biederman
And he sat down. He was like a middle aged guy and he's like, ah, so much hotter. Yesterday it felt amazing. Like, looked around at everybody, nobody said anything. And then he kind of. And he went.
Bubba Wallace
Got up.
Felix Biederman
He was like, well, enjoy your day, guys.
Bubba Wallace
And the director's cut of Eastern Promises.
Felix Biederman
It was like a holiday.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, man. That poor guy. Just what he was like. He had just gotten divorced from his husband.
Felix Biederman
Right.
Stavros Halkias
He wanted to. And he wanted to feel good about himself.
Felix Biederman
Three feet away, there's the steam room. It's like, there's rules here, right?
Stavros Halkias
Dry sign is not for gay.
Felix Biederman
No.
Bubba Wallace
Was it like his first day of being gay?
Felix Biederman
No, this was like an older guy. I think it was his first day at the gym.
Stavros Halkias
So maybe he didn't even know about the. Probably he thought he was just going into the. Do you think he had gay sex in there yesterday? He said it was hotter yesterday.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. Which by the way, probably tried yesterday and then it didn't work, by the way.
Stavros Halkias
That's not right. They keep it at the same temperature.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, I think, you know, you know, variations. Sometimes it's you going.
Stavros Halkias
So.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. Sometimes you go in the dry sauna. It's like a temperature in there because.
Stavros Halkias
You throw a little fucking water over the rocks and it gets hotter. Right.
Felix Biederman
You're not supposed to do that.
Stavros Halkias
You're not?
Felix Biederman
No.
Bubba Wallace
Why are they there then?
Stavros Halkias
But it's so fucking cool.
Bubba Wallace
The rocks, I think they hold.
Felix Biederman
The rocks hold the heat. So the heater like heats the rocks up and then the rocks stay hot.
Stavros Halkias
But it's fucking cool. You'll. You'll admit it's cool to go.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
They have a fucking little thing too. Why do they have the thing?
Felix Biederman
Depends on maybe at your gym. I think the wood ones you can. Yeah. But the electric ones you're not supposed to. Fucking water on the.
Stavros Halkias
Interesting.
Felix Biederman
On the wires and shit.
Stavros Halkias
I guess that makes sense.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. Like there's already a steam room.
Stavros Halkias
You know what I mean? Right. The ste. And I guess that's true, because you get at least part of it. You're in the fog. When you're doing gay shit, it's not as clear.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
So you could. Theoretically, somebody could be doing gay shit on the other side of the steam room, and you could be having a regular straight time on the other side of it.
Bubba Wallace
That's what that Robert McNamara documentary. Interviewed him in one of those. Dude, it was a really strange choice, but they got a lot out of him.
Stavros Halkias
Well, the guy was really guilty about Vietnam, so he had to go do some gay. You know, it's the way it really. People's brains up, you know? I mean, I would feel bad if I were him, too. He did some up over there. Yeah, I. I remember watching that in. In high school and being like, damn, this guy's a. This guy's smart.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I actually respected McNamara after watching that.
Felix Biederman
Does he say anything smart in that? The whole big point is, like, he's like, I was the first guy to think. You should think about what your enemies are thinking.
Stavros Halkias
No, it seems like a basic requirement. Yeah. I'm just a job. I was just, you know, 15. And being like, this guy's smart. Well, yeah.
Felix Biederman
Anyone.
Bubba Wallace
Anyone that bold is, like, impressive to you. That is true. Especially at that time, wearing a suit.
Felix Biederman
I was a. I was a big Donald Rumsfeld head. So cool. Genius.
Stavros Halkias
I respected Colin Powell personally.
Felix Biederman
You remember being a teenager and finding out how long Rumsfeld and Cheney had been in government?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Like, it seemed like. Because, you know, you don't know anything. And you're like, well, these guys. This must be their first time here. And they're just bad at it. There's, like, pictures from the 30s.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like. Yeah. They're wearing, like, Princeton, like, peace. They're, like, playing football with leather helmets on and like that.
Bubba Wallace
I love. I love those. Those old photos of Rumsfeld when he was on Team B with Wolfowitz. Because all of those guys.
Felix Biederman
Was Rumsfeld on Team B or did he just.
Bubba Wallace
I think he was on Team B.
Felix Biederman
Okay.
Bubba Wallace
I could be wrong, though.
Felix Biederman
I think that was just. He was one of. One of the. The people behind it.
Bubba Wallace
Like, he. He incubated the thoughts for, like, he pushed for it.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. Because Wolf of Wiz was. I mean, I could be wrong. I don't. Because he was.
Bubba Wallace
Wolfowitz was working for DoD at the time, for sure.
Felix Biederman
But wasn't. He was already. Rumsfeld was already the Secretary of Defense.
Stavros Halkias
No.
Bubba Wallace
See, he runs, right. He was the Secretary of Defense under Ford. You're right. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Whoa. Really? What the fuck?
Bubba Wallace
Yeah. He was the youngest ever Secretary of Defense. He's.
Felix Biederman
He's. He's the youngest and oldest secretary of the.
Stavros Halkias
Whoa. Nice. That's fucking cool.
Bubba Wallace
But all of them, whether it was Wolfowitz or Rome, so that everyone except Gerald Ford had those stupid sideburns.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
Like, everyone agreed to get those.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. In the seventies. Talk.
Stavros Halkias
Look up. Look up, young dude. Look up, young. Let's see how sexy he is.
Felix Biederman
He was.
Bubba Wallace
It's like, if you looked at it.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, he's pretty sexy.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
You looked at a photo from the Bush administration and, like, half the guys have cornrows.
Stavros Halkias
He's.
Felix Biederman
He's already, like. He's already, like 50 years old in that. Yeah, he was born in, like, 1905.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.
Bubba Wallace
He was.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, look at him as a wrestler. Okay.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I wouldn't mind taking him to the steam room. And after, with a singlet on, he literally did go to Princeton. Hilarious, dude. How much weird gay were the leaders of the free world up to when they were like, 19 in Princeton and Yale and all that kind of. I mean, they were jacking. Is the stolen bone real where they're jacking off?
Bubba Wallace
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Felix Biederman
But that was. That's more. That's more poppy.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
I mean, like, all of Roosevelt was.
Felix Biederman
Kind of like an outsider, sort of.
Bubba Wallace
Was from Illinois.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Well, that's their whole thing, right? They were all losers. But then because. Because Nixon got.
Felix Biederman
He brought in the losers. He said, let's bring in the.
Bubba Wallace
Well, no, no, it was like Revenge of the nerds.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Was it something where, like. Because he got fucking impeached. It was like. It really was just a bunch of fucking dickheads. Got to be in the Ford administration or something.
Bubba Wallace
Well, a lot of. Definitely a lot of, like, of the upper and upper middle echelons of the Nixon administration, like, either did just, like, straight away have to go to, like, a criminal trial or resigned and change the board.
Felix Biederman
Administration changed, like, halfway through. There was some big controversy where they swapped the entire cabinet.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, interesting.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And that's where these came in.
Felix Biederman
What's it called? It's like the. The.
Stavros Halkias
I remember this.
Felix Biederman
I was like, the Halloween Massacre.
Stavros Halkias
I don't think it was one of.
Bubba Wallace
The massacre year, but was it like Abscam or. No, abscam was the 80s.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. I can't remember.
Bubba Wallace
Tung Song park was during Carter, so it couldn't be that.
Stavros Halkias
Who knows?
Felix Biederman
This is. Now we're getting into what Was Felix about territory?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is true.
Felix Biederman
It's my favorite thing to do now that I'm middle aged is not remember something and be like, what was it?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Felix Biederman
That feels as good as knowing something. Sort of vaguely maybe knowing it it and then looking it up, being like, that's right.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. I didn't know. I honestly knew for like maybe six months. Like, I was smart maybe for like six months when I knew like this. And now it's all gone.
Felix Biederman
Why you should beat off all these pictures above my bed. I had a bunk bed.
Stavros Halkias
You're an only child, but you had a bunk bed.
Felix Biederman
I had. I had a Dick Cheney body pillow. And I would trade off. I would either be on the top beating up Rumsfeld or the Dick Cheney body.
Stavros Halkias
I love that dude. You ever hear him when you guys were roommates? You ever hear him jack off the Dick Cheney vids? Felix?
Felix Biederman
No, Just yakety sacks. That's when you knew. That's when you knew we're up to no good.
Stavros Halkias
You did have a up. Weird. Did you have a bunk bed in when you guys.
Felix Biederman
I did well when I was in that first.
Stavros Halkias
A loft bed.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. I built that loft bed. And it was like, I remember my girlfriend at the time, like, I moved in, she was like, because I lived with the Chinese people before.
Stavros Halkias
I remember that.
Felix Biederman
And so I moved in with Amber and she's like, well, finally I can, like, you know, I can finally come over to your place. And then I built a bed that was 27 inches wide. She's like, well, where am I gonna sleep at your apartment? There was no ladder too. You have to be able to pull up together to get into the bed.
Stavros Halkias
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Bubba Wallace
I remember, like, the week you moved in, me and Amber were like, he's going to be so happy he doesn't have to share a bathroom with nine people. Guaranteed electricity. And then the first week you were just like, this fucking sucks. I used to be able to walk to my gym.
Felix Biederman
No, I hate this. I was so depressed having to move to Brooklyn. But yeah, I ran out of money. And then it would have felt bad to like, to like an immigrant Chinese family being like, well, technically I got six months before you can evict me. Yeah, you're just gonna have to deal with not getting rent for me. So the second I didn't have the cash, I just left.
Stavros Halkias
I do remember that was very funny that you literally just lived with a. Like, at first you lived in that weird office building that was completely not zoned for humans.
Felix Biederman
And no, I remember when the. Because the guy that owns Dr. J's bought that building. And then like, I don't know, it was like inspectors or something that came in and it was like two guys from Con Ed and they were looking at the gas lines. I think it was after that building blew up on Second Avenue.
Stavros Halkias
Yes, yes.
Felix Biederman
And I could hear the Con Ed guys being like, what the.
Stavros Halkias
Like, scared to be in there. But. But then you just lived at a Chinese family's house and they were great.
Felix Biederman
They were awesome.
Stavros Halkias
I remember because we basically move. I helped you move and you bad, like two boxes. Yeah, everything you had fit in my Honda Civic at the time. And I remember it was like they Were, like, you just would, like, sit at a table with some teenager who was, like, playing World of Warcraft.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
That's where you would, like, work.
Felix Biederman
Well, no, I would. I would. I would be in my room.
Bubba Wallace
There was.
Felix Biederman
It wasn't much room in the apartment. The entire apartment was maybe twice the size of this room.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Felix Biederman
But, yeah, that kid would sit and he would play, like, some online rpg. And he had a Chinese accent, but he would say the N word.
Stavros Halkias
Was that your first apartment? Felix, when you moved to New York, you moved with Amber.
Felix Biederman
You lived with an old man, didn't.
Bubba Wallace
Oh, you know, I. I lived in Astoria. Yeah. For, like, two months or less, I think. But it was with. That was the first time, like, Trump person I ever met was the woman I was subletting from hell.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
And I was subletting her couch just in the middle of her living room. And she was, like, the oldest person with BPD I ever met.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
Like, she would do that. Like, really? She would do that weird old person thing of, like, when they.
Stavros Halkias
You.
Bubba Wallace
You remember, like, when I. I was young, and I would always wear, like, skimpy tops, very low body fat, where they hit on you by going like. Like, you look like one of those Sarkeesians that Elizabeth Taylor played in a movie. Like, some weird racial category you've never heard of. And then, like. Like, I would. I would leave and then come back, like, 12 hours later, and she would be like, your shoes are poking out from the middle of your cot. Someone's gonna trip over it and die. Like, Jesus, I'm not even related to you.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bubba Wallace
But, yeah, I am. Like, the first real place I've lived in.
Stavros Halkias
Hell, yeah. Dude, that would. God, that was like, the Parisian salon, dude. Three intellectuals, three podcasters. That's like Hemingway having whiskeys with whoever the.
Felix Biederman
I had to go to LA for work. And then Will Menaker subletted my room.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, my God.
Felix Biederman
Like, I'm pretty sure I told him when I was coming back, but I, like, came back and I got off the plane and I, like, went in my room, and he was, like, still asleep. His, like, ass was kind of out, and he was like, oh.
Stavros Halkias
Will was climbing up into your little room.
Felix Biederman
No, no, no, this.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, that's.
Felix Biederman
After Felix moved out, I moved into his.
Stavros Halkias
Yes, that's right.
Felix Biederman
Because that front room was tiny.
Stavros Halkias
That room was small.
Felix Biederman
And then Andrew was only charging me, like, 400 bucks a month.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, it was a closet. Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
That was hilarious.
Bubba Wallace
That was such a great time because, like, My rent was. It was like 600, I think it.
Felix Biederman
Was 550 because I moved in that room.
Bubba Wallace
Oh yeah, yeah. But like the podcast happened like in the middle of that. There weren't that many like, like it happened like pretty quick. And there were days where I just like, I was just like, I need to spend more. Like I'm not spending enough.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bubba Wallace
Like buy a second Xbox. I would like just order sushi that just sat in the refrigerator for like months.
Felix Biederman
Amber, Amber had that TV that didn't work and it was just on like cinder block.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
And then, yeah, the second like I made, first time I made money, I was like, I'm getting a big screen, big ass tv. A big screen tv back when you still called them that.
Stavros Halkias
Oh yeah, dude.
Felix Biederman
And I got that TV and PlayStation 4. Oh my God.
Stavros Halkias
PlayStations and TVs all around that first Patreon J hit. Dude, immediately we all got PlayStations and big ass TVs.
Bubba Wallace
I was still, I was still playing Xbox with like, oh, weird. Like you know, one of Those like.
Felix Biederman
Kitchen TVs when Michael Scott's like plasma.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I had one of those on.
Bubba Wallace
A metal folding chair in front of my bed. Was doing that.
Stavros Halkias
I know that apartment talk so much. You got how rich everyone in there was and how dog it was. It was always messy.
Felix Biederman
I was hanging on.
Stavros Halkias
Ernest was always like throwing up everywhere. The fat cat. The fat diseased cat.
Bubba Wallace
My first night ever in there, like the first time I moved in and like, you know, got my floor mattress set up and was like ah, finally. Not a couch.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bubba Wallace
Crazy woman's living room. And earth just immediately like clawed the door open and took his on the floor mattress and left on the mattress. Yeah, yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Damn, dude. What disrespect.
Felix Biederman
That was a great cat.
Stavros Halkias
That was a great cat. He was. But he would throw up, get his ear removed.
Felix Biederman
Cuz he wouldn't stop like picking at it.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, it was disgusting.
Felix Biederman
We're just going to cut it off.
Stavros Halkias
I know he was indoors, but he had open sores constantly and he was just throw up and have diarrhea inside like every three days.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, great stuff when he ate.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, it was fatty shit. Old as shit.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Respect. When did Amber even get him? Like he was old already, right?
Felix Biederman
I think he was. She said he was already 11 when she got him.
Stavros Halkias
That's crazy.
Bubba Wallace
He came from Indiana.
Felix Biederman
Came from Indiana. That was the other funny thing about him that he was like white trash.
Stavros Halkias
He literally was just a fat white tr. Trash cat from like Heartland.
Felix Biederman
And he would eat popcorn.
Bubba Wallace
He would always sexually harass the other cat.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Damn. Salute to him.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Were you. Did you have any pets other. I never had pets going. We all had. We always had asthma. Were you guys pet guys?
Felix Biederman
Cats. Yeah, cats. There's always been cats around my entire life.
Stavros Halkias
Interesting. Interesting. That's why you're so feminine, even mate.
Felix Biederman
Mono.
Stavros Halkias
That's why you have feminine tendencies, because you've been around cats.
Felix Biederman
I wouldn't say I have feminine.
Stavros Halkias
I think that's true.
Felix Biederman
Say that at all. In fact, I need the cats to kind of pull me back.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Felix Biederman
Period. I didn't have a cat and I was just. I was getting like way too much. It was scary.
Stavros Halkias
I remember it differently. I remember you didn't have a cat. You. So there's like a lot of guys around. There was like a lot of fight to train. Well, it started that way. You. You invited them over for a fight sometime.
Felix Biederman
You get tired of fighting, take it up a notch to prove you're not gay to yourself.
Stavros Halkias
When you had a squat rack in your bedroom. That was a straight. That was a very straight time in your life when you were just working out constantly.
Felix Biederman
I had the cat then, though.
Stavros Halkias
You did have a cat. You're right. You're right. I take it back. Felix, do you have pets, bro?
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, we had. I mean, we. Obama copied us. We had a Portuguese water dog.
Felix Biederman
Wow.
Stavros Halkias
And you're from Chicago. So he definitely knew about it.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, yeah, he was.
Stavros Halkias
He was asked.
Felix Biederman
Obama ruined a lot of stuff. He made a lot of stuff not cool.
Stavros Halkias
He definitely did.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Well, what about the rumor he was getting from Jennifer Aniston?
Felix Biederman
That's true.
Stavros Halkias
That's pretty.
Felix Biederman
I was in LA like 10 years ago and I stayed with. There was this girl, Sam Pitchell, that used to like, she worked on like, like industry side stuff. I stayed at her place.
Stavros Halkias
Place.
Felix Biederman
And she had to like work or something. So I was just at her like a part, like her house like all day. And I was out in the backyard and there was this big ass turtle. There was a turtle that was like this. It was a giant turtle. And so I was like, and you turtles are. So I was just pulling the grass up and feeding the turtle grass. And then she came home and I was like, how long have you had this turtle? She's like, I don't. It's like, I don't know where that came from.
Stavros Halkias
That was just a turtle. Yeah.
Felix Biederman
This giant monster that made its way into her backyard.
Stavros Halkias
That's nuts. Nuts.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. But I was talking to her for like 15 minutes while playing with the turtle and she didn't react in any way. She's like, no, I haven't. That's not mine.
Stavros Halkias
She thought you brought the turtle.
Felix Biederman
I don't know. I don't know. I guess maybe that's a regular thing in la.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Shows up in your yard.
Stavros Halkias
Turtle would be a great pet, though, because it is. It looks kind of cool.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. And you can pick them up and they're just. It's like a big dinner plate.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. And they're pretty much helpless.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Slow. They're not really gonna. But you don't want to. The snapping ones piss me off.
Felix Biederman
Those are crazy. Those are scary.
Bubba Wallace
I don't think anyone owns those.
Stavros Halkias
They're wild animals. Animals.
Felix Biederman
Could you get using those as a prison, though? They have. They're using them to guard the prison.
Stavros Halkias
Snapping turtle. Alcatraz. Yeah, that would be pretty scary.
Felix Biederman
That is pretty up.
Stavros Halkias
It is insanely up.
Felix Biederman
It's bad enough to have a concentration camp, but then they're like, incorporate to work on the brand Alligators.
Stavros Halkias
Imagine.
Bubba Wallace
Imagine you're in the Holocaust and like you just get separated from your wife and then Benny Johnson shows up.
Stavros Halkias
Hey, everyone.
Bubba Wallace
It's our first day here.
Felix Biederman
Or even if they had like chimps outside of.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, yeah.
Felix Biederman
So even if you made it past the towers, you're losing your hands.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah. They rip your dick off. That's so up. Yeah, dude. It's so. It's so weird. And like, it's like they're working on branding for a concentration camp. They're thinking about po. They're like, yeah, maybe we won't. We won't like, ruin that many immigrants lives, but the posts are going to be awesome. Like, you know, they care more about how they're perceived. It's so bizarre, dude.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah. And doing it like right after Trump made that announcement where it's like, all right, we figured out if we'd like to pour too many people. It ruins the service economy.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
You know that thing about wage competition? Actually, we need that.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
It turns out that's how this entire thing works.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, dude. It's. It is fucking insane.
Felix Biederman
Which is to say like. Like, oh, we need them to steal your jobs.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. We did, like, the racist aspect of separating families, but it's actually up our billionaire friends.
Felix Biederman
It turns out we need them to steal your job so we can't kick them out. Unfortunately.
Bubba Wallace
We looked. We looked into it. It turns out we can't we can't switch to an export economy in like three weeks.
Felix Biederman
We tried.
Stavros Halkias
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Bubba Wallace
Neat, baby.
Stavros Halkias
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Felix Biederman
We even make here? Energy drinks?
Bubba Wallace
We make pharmaceuticals and weapon systems.
Felix Biederman
Okay, okay.
Stavros Halkias
Those are like podcasts, of course.
Bubba Wallace
I mean our, our. I don't know if that's our biggest thing by volume that we export, but those are like the, the, like marquee.
Stavros Halkias
American products now is pharmaceuticals.
Bubba Wallace
Pharmaceuticals and weapon systems.
Felix Biederman
Nice.
Stavros Halkias
So maybe a gun that shoots dick pills into your mouth.
Felix Biederman
That'd be cool.
Stavros Halkias
You know, we could do two for one. Dude, that would be sick. Im dude, imagine you're about to get your dick sucked and you're your dick soft and you're like, you can get the, the pleasure of killing yourself. Dick gets hard.
Bubba Wallace
That's what happened with our bud dwi. He said don't look at this if you're sensitive because he was going to get his dick sucked one last time and then he, he packed the wrong gun that day.
Stavros Halkias
He packed his bullet gun, not his dick pill gun.
Bubba Wallace
Classic mistake.
Stavros Halkias
And that's why he was bad at government or whatever. The isn't the thing he killed himself over like so pathetic. Well, was it like a lot of.
Felix Biederman
He, was he a news guy? I don't. I just remember the video.
Bubba Wallace
He was a state legislator.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, okay.
Bubba Wallace
And some people think he was framed, but there was, I think like a documentary about.
Stavros Halkias
But isn't it like he committed like male fraud or something?
Bubba Wallace
Amount of money compared to like anything now? Yeah, it's, you know, fucking nothing compared to now.
Stavros Halkias
A looming prison sentence.
Felix Biederman
For what?
Stavros Halkias
Accepting a bribe in exchange for a computer contract. How big was the bribe?
Bubba Wallace
Think about how shitty that contract was between the state of Pennsylvania and Computer technology associates in like 80s ye.
Stavros Halkias
It was like a pong. It was like installing pong on the public computers.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah. What was that deal? We'll drive you home if you give this to us.
Stavros Halkias
Nah, he's the guy. He's the guy who he installed. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego. On all the library computers. That was big.
Felix Biederman
They haven't turned that into a big movie franchise yet.
Stavros Halkias
Well, Carmen San Diego.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I would watch that.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. I thought you meant Gal Gadot.
Stavros Halkias
Oh.
Felix Biederman
And she's in Israel. And there is. They're like Palestine.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah. They're like. Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Against Palestine. And the children go to jail.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah. If you guess Palestine. They arrest you. Yeah.
Felix Biederman
You're fired. Chief.
Stavros Halkias
That place doesn't exist.
Felix Biederman
Take his badge and his gun.
Stavros Halkias
Sorry, Gum shoes. You're going to alligator Auschwitz for that.
Felix Biederman
Alligator. Auschwitz would be cool. I said it wouldn't, but now I'm thinking it would be cool.
Stavros Halkias
You think it's good? Yeah, I'm against it personally. I'm going to go.
Felix Biederman
Not the one in Florida if they reopen. The one in Poland.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, interesting.
Felix Biederman
They're like cold alligators.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, interesting.
Felix Biederman
Alligators that like the cold.
Stavros Halkias
Interesting. Interesting.
Bubba Wallace
I thought you meant like aitz with more like a Cajun bin. That be like a Marty Gr type thing.
Felix Biederman
It's like Dick's Last Resort.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah. Nazis are just rude to you. Yeah, that's a very interesting. Yeah. That's some really good ideas for tourism.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
We open up a Nazi themed Dick's Last Resort.
Felix Biederman
It's just like a bunch of naked Jewish guys standing in line, they're all emaciated and some guy puts a hat on his head that says world's smallest welcome.
Stavros Halkias
Welcome to Dick's Last.
Felix Biederman
Dick's Last.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. That is literally the. That's. Ron Desantis is going to open that as well. I mean that's. That's. We're not. That is not that far away from an alligator like concentration camp. Is the sad thing.
Felix Biederman
Going to Dick's Last Resort with. With Brian six At Skank Fest was. Is one of my favorite memories.
Stavros Halkias
That's awesome.
Felix Biederman
He just couldn't handle it. He's like got into it.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, he just didn't understand.
Felix Biederman
No, I mean, he understood, but it was still like, you know, it's him.
Stavros Halkias
So he's six is the man. Dude.
Felix Biederman
He's like. He's like getting mad.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, he's like.
Felix Biederman
I think he called the waitress the N word. Not to her face, but he's like. So he's like, someone say that.
Stavros Halkias
Call my glasses gay. How about I say the N word?
Felix Biederman
What if I. Yeah, what if I did?
Bubba Wallace
What did they say?
Felix Biederman
I could win if I wanted?
Bubba Wallace
What did they say that got him so mad? Or it's just like. Just the concept.
Felix Biederman
I don't even think they. With him. He was ready. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I've never been. Well, that.
Bubba Wallace
I mean, he is the guy who said, you know, he just took my friends and family. He took it.
Stavros Halkias
That actually is very. Pretty much.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Kind of.
Felix Biederman
What?
Bubba Wallace
He's with my friends and family. I'll call you. The N word.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, you cannot take Philly white trash to a place like that, man. No, they don't understand. They're not having a good time. It's not fun to them.
Felix Biederman
The Yelp reviews of all those places are good because there's always one or two where somebody didn't know.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
It's like they called my 8 year old daughter a.
Stavros Halkias
Well, it is true. It's like to actually be good at that, you do kind of have to thread a needle that I'm sure a lot of people just are bad at it. Just overdo it, you know? Like, that's the kind of job that people who think they're funny get. And they probably would call like, you know, some guy in a wheelchair a cripple or something. Like, they would just take it way too fucking far. I've never been there. I'm too. You know, they wouldn't be able to be able to make fun of me for anything. Yeah, it would close down the restaurant.
Felix Biederman
Right. That's why the restaurant would close down. Because the deep fryer would be so over work. I'm sorry.
Stavros Halkias
But yeah, it would. Because I'm too sexy and not make fun of bull about. Make fun of bullying, whatever. You get it.
Felix Biederman
We're out of appetizer.
Stavros Halkias
Damn. I would like a nice. There's nothing quite like the general, like appetizer platter, the sampler.
Nicholas Mullen
You.
Felix Biederman
You can't decide, you know, you just want to hurt yourself.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just Ordering one of those for is brutal.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, I need, I need to try. I need three mozzarella sticks.
Stavros Halkias
I've never.
Felix Biederman
Shitty chips.
Stavros Halkias
I don't know what jalapeno poppers are. I need those. Plus boneless buffalo wings and some onion rings.
Bubba Wallace
I think it's the type of thing an emperor would order.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, absolutely.
Bubba Wallace
A little bit of all the cuisines.
Stavros Halkias
Absolutely right. That is true. I do like that. I like the, I like that. I like a poo poo platter.
Felix Biederman
That'd be cool if they, they, they did emperor. If the emperor's new clothes parable was actually about tricking the emperor into eating and it wasn't even, it wasn't clothes, there's probably another dimension.
Stavros Halkias
He's full of clothes. He's full, he's got the clothes.
Felix Biederman
It's the guys, they, they work at a restaurant. They show up and they're like we're going to make you an awesome meal.
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Felix Biederman
And the emperor is bragging about it and then he brings all the townspeople out and then he's just eating and he's also naked.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. And then he pulls his dick out like. And by the way, my clothes are cool too, aren'?
Felix Biederman
It's called the coolest emperor.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, dude. Damn. Now I want to the emperor's new.
Felix Biederman
Penis that would be made the emperor the biggest penis anyone's ever seen.
Stavros Halkias
What is the emperor's new groove about?
Felix Biederman
They write a song for him and his clothes fall off.
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
It's not the naked emperor, right?
Felix Biederman
No, that's the emperor's new clothes.
Bubba Wallace
I don't know how, I don't know how you would get a feature out of that.
Stavros Halkias
Out of what?
Bubba Wallace
Like a feature length film out of like.
Stavros Halkias
Oh yeah, yeah.
Bubba Wallace
You can figure out a lot of time on B plots and they're like.
Stavros Halkias
Really showing his dick and they're like really animating his dick. Oh yeah. I remember Earth the kids in it. I remember I actually got head watching this one time. Oh yeah. David Spade is in it. People seem to with it. It was never, I guess it came out in 2000. I was too old to give a about like this.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, I've never seen it. I was thinking about watching Finding Nemo.
Stavros Halkias
That's good.
Felix Biederman
Never seen.
Stavros Halkias
I watched it. A friend of mine, her baby loves like aquatic. So I've watched Finding Nemo, Finding Dory. That man just came to my house, sat in my chair and put on Finding Nemo. He's a year and a half years old. He was just like, he just didn't give a about anything. He just sat in my ergonomic chair.
Felix Biederman
That's crazy. He knows how to use a Ramon.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, he figured it out.
Felix Biederman
Does he speak?
Stavros Halkias
I think he was like, I think someone. Yeah, he can speak. He's pretty smart. And I think it was like already. I think it was like pulled up. But he like. I think his mom was like, all right, if you're good, we'll put on Finding Nemo or something. And he just took that started and was like, just post it up. It's awesome. And it's funny when you see a baby watching tv, you're like, like, oh, he's smart. He's not an iPad baby. He's watching TV is basically reading now. Yeah, absolutely.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
IPad kids.
Felix Biederman
You know, I was thinking about. I know because I never watched it when it was on, but I've been thinking about getting into Game of Thrones now.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Cuz no one's talking about it. I could just enjoy it. It could be a thing that only I know about.
Stavros Halkias
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. It's pretty good. You know, I liked it. I watched the first episode, I watched the first season. Then I read the book looks because I watched the first season.
Felix Biederman
Kurt used to have that bit about that guy being from New Jersey. That was so.
Stavros Halkias
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's from Jersey and he loves the jets and.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And there's that picture of him with a bunch of black ladies. That's pretty fun. But I think he's had the same girlfriend.
Felix Biederman
That guy must hate his fans.
Bubba Wallace
Oh, he does.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah.
Felix Biederman
You write three books and it's like the biggest thing in the world and they're like, you have to write more. More. Yeah, it takes 11 years to do it and they're like, this sucks. Do it differently. Look, I'm trying to just buy model train hat.
Stavros Halkias
Well, dude.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, I love how he. He commit. He never wears a different type.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, that's the, like this is the look of the guy that hangs out at the coffee shop who's 65 years old and he has a hot girlfriend who's busted but 20.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look up his wife.
Felix Biederman
Caveman looking woman with just giant sloppy tits.
Bubba Wallace
But Honestly, for him, 21 year old girls who just like genetically there's no eyebrows.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, hell yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. George R.R. martin and Par. What's her name? Paris McBride. Yeah. You think he's getting outside the marriage now that he's rich and famous?
Felix Biederman
Oh, definitely. Look, look at him. Imagine you're a young lady, that guy comes up to me, and he's like, I invented dragons.
Bubba Wallace
You don't think Field. The other day.
Felix Biederman
I came up. I invented knights, dude.
Stavros Halkias
You don't think this guy a. A. A Renfair style would. This guy. You're out of your mind. She would love to, I guess.
Felix Biederman
Come on. I mean, I'm. You're probably right.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Who. You're the best version of who you're describing about, like, the coffee shop.
Felix Biederman
Like, I believe those guys already do that. And they're like. They're like an adjunct professor at a community college.
Stavros Halkias
True, true, true.
Bubba Wallace
There are a lot of, like, girls who love dragons, too.
Stavros Halkias
That's true. I think he would get sucked to an oblivion if he wanted to.
Felix Biederman
Probably every time he goes back to Bayonne, he hits up the dicks.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, dude. Shout out to George R.R. martin.
Felix Biederman
Did you read the books after the. Watching this?
Stavros Halkias
I watched the first season. I liked it, and I was like, damn, I want to know what happens. And I just read the books, and I didn't watch the rest of it.
Felix Biederman
Are the books good?
Stavros Halkias
They're pretty good.
Felix Biederman
I don't know.
Stavros Halkias
I was in. It was literally freshman year of college.
Felix Biederman
Okay.
Stavros Halkias
I. And then I stole. I torrented the audio, the. The Kindle files. So I stole that, dude. Yeah, I was pretty. I was a badass dude. I was stealing Kindle files, reading, and like, that. I'm an intellectual, much like Felix, you know?
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, no, I. I. When we were talking about my first apartment in Astoria, I remember reading a torrented PDF of Preacher at the same time, also that type of literature.
Stavros Halkias
Preacher or Reacher?
Bubba Wallace
No, Preacher.
Felix Biederman
You see, they got a Kindle now that's, like, color, so you can read comic books on it.
Stavros Halkias
No, that dude, like, that's an iPad.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, Right.
Stavros Halkias
But you could probably read Chapo Year zero on that.
Bubba Wallace
You could. If you've totally given up. You've gotten the color Kindle.
Felix Biederman
No. I say people be like, oh, man, I can't wait till I can watch movies on my Kindle.
Stavros Halkias
Well, they have the Kindle Fire.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Which is just an iPad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mom.
Felix Biederman
I check out that station at Best Buy every time.
Stavros Halkias
Yep, yep.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, I make a lot of trips to Best Buy.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. Just walk around.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. I do like the various stations, of course. Checking out. Yeah. There's a lot of different tablets. You got Microsoft. You got the Kindle.
Felix Biederman
The Kindle, Microsoft co pilot. That's their AI they have, like.
Bubba Wallace
They have so many.
Felix Biederman
They got rid of Cortana.
Stavros Halkias
You remember Cortana Oh, Cortada's gone.
Felix Biederman
Dude, Cortana's gone. It's co pilot.
Stavros Halkias
That's a sexy name. Dude. People are probably getting too horny.
Felix Biederman
Well, that was the one, wasn't it, from Halo?
Bubba Wallace
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Cortana came first and then they made it real.
Stavros Halkias
No, no, look up Cortana. Fucking idiot. Who gives a fuck about Microsoft copilot? And Cortana is pretty sexy.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, well, Cortana, according to Halo lore, she's like the. Not the consciousness, but the personality and kind of the face of the woman who made her, I think.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, really?
Bubba Wallace
I don't really know Halo lore that well. I dropped out of college before that.
Stavros Halkias
Dude, Halo's good. Didn't they make a TV show about that? But it sucked. People were mad about it.
Felix Biederman
They made a Halo TV show.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I get a lot of clips on my. On, like, YouTube shorts, and it's like.
Felix Biederman
That was the biggest YouTube channel was like, the D people like, dub.
Bubba Wallace
Oh, red versus blue.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
That was pre YouTube though.
Felix Biederman
Was it?
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, it was just. You would just go to red, red versus blue.com and, like, download a QuickTime file.
Stavros Halkias
And what was it?
Felix Biederman
It was like they would record gameplay and then dub it. So it was like a sitcom.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. Were those the same guys that did the Juggernaut? I'm the Juggernaut. Or people would do that. They would dub over, like, X Men.
Bubba Wallace
I think that was an independent film, Nick.
Felix Biederman
Okay.
Bubba Wallace
I think it's a different guy. But those are. Those people became fucking. What is it? Rooster Tooth. That's who they began.
Stavros Halkias
What is Rooster Tooth?
Felix Biederman
It's an animation studio. Yeah, Austin, right?
Bubba Wallace
Yeah. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Interesting. Wait, how long were you in college?
Felix Biederman
Oh, there he is.
Bubba Wallace
No, I was. I was joking.
Stavros Halkias
You never went to college? No, I went to.
Bubba Wallace
God. I didn't drop out.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, pussy. This went. Dude, this guy went to college. Him and Elders both have degrees, Nick. Can you believe these losers?
Felix Biederman
That's a mistake.
Stavros Halkias
Wait, did you start. You just study, like, history or whatever?
Bubba Wallace
The kind of. Yeah, I mean, I. How would have anyone, like, predicted the Patreon economy?
Stavros Halkias
But, like, I did.
Bubba Wallace
I don't know. I wish I had studied, like, literature or something. Yeah, yeah, I did international relations and it was just.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, dude.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I'm gonna be in the U.
Felix Biederman
Dating an Asian woman. How to get an Asian girlfriend. Yeah, it's five. You're like, when are we going to learn what I thought.
Stavros Halkias
What kind of sushi roll should I order? Which one?
Felix Biederman
When I was in San Francisco, I Saw a white guy walking around with like this like 10 perfect 10 Japanese lady. And they're walking around and then he turns to her and he's like, yak. He starts speaking Japanese to her and I'm like, this has been like a 25 year plan.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. I mean, that's the happiest guy that's ever existed, dude.
Felix Biederman
This guy, he had a goal and it's like, it's. It was almost like it reminded me of like, you know, the kill Dozer guy that like sealed himself off society and built like a tank to destroy the police department.
Stavros Halkias
Absolutely.
Felix Biederman
That's what this guy's like. I'm not. Because that's probably the only woman he's ever fucked. He was like, I'm going to learn everything about Japan and fucking put the money together and then go get one.
Stavros Halkias
Well, he probably also fucked geishas to get ready. Like, he probably bought pussy from geishas in traditional. Yeah, you would go to like remote villages where that's still going on. Yeah, he would like get poured fucking tea and shit. Like. Yeah, yeah.
Felix Biederman
Pouring tea all over his cock.
Stavros Halkias
Ye.
Bubba Wallace
That's the closest thing to like the plot of Gattaca, what that guy did.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, basically.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
He's like the Gattaca guy.
Stavros Halkias
Wait, that's the one where it's like genetic splicing.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
This is Jude Law's blood. So he can go to the moon and get.
Stavros Halkias
From Charlize Theron.
Felix Biederman
I don't know if he's even trying to get. Oh, he just wanted to be an astronaut or something. And he had a. He has like a heart condition and they could tell by his blood. So he wasn't. He was like excluded from the program.
Stavros Halkias
So he steals blood.
Bubba Wallace
Charlize Baron has the heart condition. He's just like. His parents had two brothers and they're like, all right, let's give one like the good genetic. And then have one normal. And the normal ones, like, like, of course his life is.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
And like when they.
Felix Biederman
But he's got. He's got drive and motivation.
Bubba Wallace
Right, right, right.
Felix Biederman
So he doesn't. He end up killing the brother by swimming too far?
Bubba Wallace
No, he doesn't kill him. He's saves him.
Felix Biederman
Oh, he saves.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Hell yeah. I love this style of podcast.
Bubba Wallace
This is the only thing that I've affirmatively known. I don't get AB scam was in the 80s. No. Okay, here's the entire plot of G.
Stavros Halkias
I remember seeing G in G. They showed it to us as like, S in like science class. They show us Giant Attica, which I.
Felix Biederman
Respect for some reason. Like, I saw that movie in the same time frame that I saw what Dreams May Come and they combined in my head. It was like a. Probably like an eight year period where there would be details from both movies.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Felix Biederman
I'm like, yeah, there's a genetic component. And then he has to go to hell to find his wife.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, that's a good ass movie with the Robin Williams.
Felix Biederman
It was one of the worst movies ever made.
Stavros Halkias
I remember being 8 and being like, holy.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. I mean, I thought it was real when I was a kid. I was like, yeah, that's. That's what happens when you die.
Bubba Wallace
Well, that was like a really popular, like, there would be news special where they're like, we talked to nine people who died.
Stavros Halkias
Right, right.
Felix Biederman
Remember Colton Burpo?
Stavros Halkias
Colton Burpo.
Bubba Wallace
This was pre.
Stavros Halkias
Colton Pre Burpo. Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
In the 90s. I remember I saw one where it was just like, you know, some like, like, electrician with a mustache. And he. He got zapped, like, plugging a TV in, and it like killed him for five minutes. And he said, I saw Jesus Christ walk into the middle of the room. And he showed me in a grid the faces of every person I'd ever insulted, what it felt like to get insulted by me in the grid.
Stavros Halkias
Jesus had spreadsheets going.
Felix Biederman
Jesus takes you to Dick's last.
Stavros Halkias
That's before you get into heaven. Everyone says your dick is small. All the angels tell you your dick is small.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, that's the tribulation, the seven years we have to live through worldwide Dick's last resort.
Stavros Halkias
Yep. And the Mott sticks are cold. And they say your dick is small.
Bubba Wallace
Catholics say that you have to spend hundreds of years in Dick's last resort. You were a good enough person.
Stavros Halkias
That's so funny. I remember seeing that movie and being like, this is cool, but it probably does suck dick, huh, when you have.
Bubba Wallace
To rescue your wife.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, well, we. I didn't. We watched it.
Stavros Halkias
I think.
Felix Biederman
I think we watched it to make fun of it.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. This is coming back to me now.
Felix Biederman
This is why I had to stop podcasting, because there's not. There's literally no thing I could say that I haven't already. I don't remember it happening.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I know. It is funny when people. People will, like, come up to you and say a sentence and it's like, I have no recollection. And it's like, I guess something we said seven years ago and they just keyed in on it. I. Dude, I couldn't even. I don't even remember. I don't even. This movie.
Felix Biederman
I don't remember the name of the podcast.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, we've done 500 EP or, like, more now.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
And it's like, I see why people, like, go crazy, are like, I'm a fucking Catholic now because I, like, I feel like I've said. I've said everything I can say about nuking Tel Aviv.
Stavros Halkias
Right, Right.
Bubba Wallace
Like, I get it. Like, I get, like, I get the idea of just, like, I want to try something new.
Stavros Halkias
Like, totally.
Bubba Wallace
You know, I would like to be, you know, a fiscal libertarian or something.
Felix Biederman
It really does, like, put into perspective what kind of perseverance you would have to. Have to be, like, somebody that's in.
Stavros Halkias
Media for, like, 40 years, a fucking radio DJ.
Felix Biederman
Nothing change changes.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah.
Felix Biederman
Like, nothing changed. Like, 30 years from now, people are gonna be like, well, I don't know if we should bomb Iran. It'll be the same people making the decisions. It'll be 130 years old. And then you just keep. You keep saying, this is a bad idea. This is a good idea.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, I always think that. Think about that. When I watch, like, those Opie and Anthony documentaries on YouTube, how they, like, every day they would have to get up at, like, 5am and do, like, five hours with, like, your former best friend, who you hate. Ten years.
Stavros Halkias
It's crazy. And I guess they were paid. They did get a lot of money, but still they did get.
Bubba Wallace
Well, they got crazy.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
But still, that lifestyle would. I would want to kill myself even.
Felix Biederman
Waking up that early. I mean, waking up that early is nice, but only if you're waking up to silence.
Stavros Halkias
Exactly. Have a little coffee.
Felix Biederman
Right. Waking up at 4aM To K. Chaos. They, like, have to say the nword, you know, I mean, they're not even. The clan wasn't even doing that. Yeah, yeah, it was like, afternoon.
Stavros Halkias
They were keeping racism alive in that. That early in the morning.
Felix Biederman
Right?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, it'd be funny. Anthony's just going over his, like, spreadsheets of, like, huh, what did I see a black person do this weekend? Like, being, like, in a car at 4:00am, being like, all right, let me try and remember. Yeah. Dudes shout out to see. For me, I. I just, like. I see it as, like. Like a river running through my brain. Comes out, goes out the other side. I don't remember. And it's just like a. It's a type of Zen to me. Doing a podcast I. I am like. I'm sort of completely. Nothing is going on in my head at any moment that I'm podcasting. This is actually relaxed. I've got to the point where it's relaxing now. I feel the awesome things, even, you.
Felix Biederman
Know, the lights and stuff. I mean, this is.
Stavros Halkias
Is like, huh.
Felix Biederman
Even with the lights.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, dude. This. I'm so comfortable. There are sometimes where I'll just throw a show on this tv, and after we're done. After we're done recording, I'll just be hanging out here and watching, like, a little TV or whatever. That's the only way you can do it is if you subscribe. No meaning to it whatsoever, and no, like, no fulfillment.
Felix Biederman
I would get back into it if I could master another, like, language.
Stavros Halkias
Podcasting it.
Felix Biederman
Learn. Yeah, I could learn a language by podcast.
Stavros Halkias
The Mullen Dual Lingo cast. Yeah, dude. You just have a. Conjugating verbs. Yeah, dude, there would be some losers who would pay. You just do a patreon, and they would be like, genius. He's conjugating.
Felix Biederman
It's $5,000 a month.
Stavros Halkias
He's learning Japanese.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, I guess this is a job.
Stavros Halkias
That would be you. You have to do it, dude. Just for scientific reasons.
Felix Biederman
Domo or Iato. Everybody.
Bubba Wallace
Every.
Felix Biederman
Every bottom.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, dude, I'm so cooked in terms of learning. I'm gonna take lessons to, like, relearn Greek. Basically. I want to. I want to, like, get fluent in Greek. But the idea. People, like, learn languages at this point of life. No way, dude. That's crazy. Unless you're, like, married to a lady. So good.
Felix Biederman
You have. You have to, like, have a reason to.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
You know what I mean? I feel like if you drop me off somewhere, eventually I'd have to.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
I wouldn't be able to just, like, point.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But where?
Felix Biederman
Just pointing at a lady's puss.
Stavros Halkias
Pointing me, like.
Felix Biederman
And then the mannerisms are wrong. This means, like, I'm gay. Just a jacked Chinese guy slowly walking up to me down the street. He's naked. He gets bigger and bigger as he gets closer. Like, what the. What'd I do?
Stavros Halkias
When the weather's hot, when you're out on the beach speech, when you're having a nice time, the last thing you want is to have a limp penis. Isn't that right? Wouldn't that put a real damper on it? You finally actually convinced a woman somehow to have sex with you, and then what happens? Limp ass. Little acidic, Right? Well, folks, give your gal something to talk about in the Group chat this summer with Bluechew. That's right. Probably the endorsement that we have that I hold nearest and dearest to my heart. For I am not only an endorser of Bluechew, I'm a long term couple customer. Guys, this isn't just about performance. This is about legacy. Or third legacy. That's right. Get your pricks stiffer than sin. You know, when you lay it down, they're talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little bluechew. Discover your options@bluechew.com and we've got a special deal for our listeners. As always, get your first month of Bluetooth free. Just use promo code Stavi at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Join Bluechew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to bluechew.com for details and safety info and big thanks. I mean big thanks to Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast. Thank you so much Bluechew. It means so much to the podcast. And go out there and get your dicks hard as hell folks on Blue and Stabby's World Dime.
Felix Biederman
What's up? What's up Stuff Elvis. I love the transcribing.
Stavros Halkias
The transcribing is never what's up Scotty?
Felix Biederman
What's up Stuff Elvis Stuff.
Stavros Halkias
Elvis is a good one.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, my name's Stuff Elvis Stuff.
Stavros Halkias
Elvis is actually pretty good. Why don't we help the people out here?
Felix Biederman
Elders, we like we said we have Starving Gang. What's up guys? Saw you on. Saw you on Twitter.
Stavros Halkias
Play Play the call. Let's see what we got. Eldritch.
Nicholas Mullen
Starving Gang.
Stavros Halkias
What up guys? Not playing.
Nicholas Mullen
Saw you on tour this past spring. Staving Gang. What up guys?
Stavros Halkias
There it is.
Nicholas Mullen
Saw you on tour this past spring and just want to shout out eldest for one of the most impressive plumbers practice of all time. Setting up the mic support.
Stavros Halkias
Elvis does have his ass setting up the mics. I've seen your ass so much when you're setting up the mics for the show.
Nicholas Mullen
Really put Albania on the map with that one. And the image has been burned into my brain since then. My girlfriend and I are both 30. Been together a year and a half. I. I love her. She's great. We recently moved in together and are currently decorating. Most of the furniture is hers. I let her pick out the dining table. She has a lot of artwork but it's all good because she has nice taste. Her main hobby and source of exercise is pole fitness or Pole dancing.
Stavros Halkias
Pole dancing.
Nicholas Mullen
She goes to classes a couple times a week. Totally cool. Completely support it. The issue is that now she wants to install a pole in the townhouse that we're renting. We each have her own offices for any work from home, and she put it in there. But the ceiling is vaulted and too hot for. For the pole. The only real option is our main floor between the kitchen, living room, right in the middle of everything. I was cool with the pole in her office. Of course it's her spot. But the idea of it being kind of the centerpiece of the house has been getting to me a little bit. I already said I was fine with it because I understand the options are limited. But now I'm thinking, do I get to frame my Ed Reed jersey and put that on living room wall? Like, do I get to add something maybe that typically wouldn't go in a common area? Maybe savvy baby calendar, for example. On one hand, I love that she'll be able to practice her pull moves at home and exercise, but it feels like a lot.
Felix Biederman
This is very produced.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Nicholas Mullen
And you know, she would exercise, but it just feels like a lot. In the center of the house, on top of most of your stuff already there. Great in the place. So let me know if I'm being a little about this or if you'd be cool with the pole in your living room. Appreciate it, y'.
Stavros Halkias
All.
Nicholas Mullen
Thanks for the last.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, you kind of are being. I don't know, who cares?
Bubba Wallace
I mean, it really doesn't sound like he has an actual problem. It sounds like he wants to tell people about the townhouse.
Stavros Halkias
Right? Yeah. Your bits can pull dance. Also, don't you think this will lead to you getting, you know, I don't know, your dick sucked while she's like hanging on the pole or something. Something. Or, you know, I mean, as a. As an eyesore, as a decoration. Eyesore. It's kind of back to what we were talking about, like putting. It's like you putting a squat rack in the middle of your house, which is like, you know, some people put a treadmill in the living room before.
Felix Biederman
They actually use my house.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, it was in your bedroom.
Felix Biederman
It was in the bedroom. It was my bedroom.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
I lived by myself.
Stavros Halkias
I know. It just was like we. You would put away your bed to squat.
Felix Biederman
I wouldn't have to put the bed away for that. And then I did the only. Now that room. Now it's in its own room. Gym in there. Cuz the gym used to be the Racing wheel room.
Stavros Halkias
I remember that. Yes.
Felix Biederman
That room was a race car.
Stavros Halkias
I remember the racing wheel room.
Felix Biederman
And these are things you don't have to worry about if you know.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, true.
Felix Biederman
Now you got to deal with poles.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, stuff like that. I mean, what if.
Bubba Wallace
If a woman moved away my F16 cockpit to put a pole in?
Stavros Halkias
You'd be pissed.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
What kind of setup do you have?
Stavros Halkias
I have.
Bubba Wallace
Well, it's not really an F16, so I sort of. It's more like an SU30.
Felix Biederman
And what do you. What do you play? War Thunder.
Bubba Wallace
Dcs.
Felix Biederman
Okay.
Stavros Halkias
What's dcs?
Bubba Wallace
Dc. Digital Combat Sucking Games.
Felix Biederman
Got him.
Stavros Halkias
Got his ass. That's a flight simulator, basically. Yeah. Dude, that's pretty sick. I mean, look, so we have. We have two hobbyists here. Would you be mad if. If a. Put a pole in your living room? I wouldn't really. It's a pole also, by the way, that's. Sometimes that shit's in rooms. I don't know. I mean, you should. Basically the problem is you got steamrolled in these negotiations. You're like, oh, would she have a problem if I put something of my own? I don't know. Why don't you ask her instead of writing a little essay and asking the podcast.
Bubba Wallace
That is a good point. I'll go as far to say this guy is the personality of someone who kills his family. He's probably setting up an excuse now.
Felix Biederman
This is only my second time here for this show. My impression thus far is the answer to every single question is fuck you.
Stavros Halkias
Not every time. I say a third of the time.
Felix Biederman
They go, fuck you. What the hell is this? Nick's last resort? Is that where we're at?
Stavros Halkias
I think, look in general terms like your partner asking to put something in the common area is like. You have to be like, yeah, do I have a problem with it? Is a poll that big? A poll is pretty small. And it's like, you know, the. The benefits could be she's doing a little pole dance maybe, you know, and, you know, maybe you get some. Your stripping for you or whatever. But yeah, if you want to put something in there too, I don't see why that's a problem. But you. The problem is you already said, yeah, you can do it, and now you're like, well, well, what do I. You know, that's not fair. But it's like, you should have said that when she asked you, but you folded because she asked you. You know, you weren't. You hadn't gotten your. You hadn't gotten yourself ready to disagree with your significant.
Felix Biederman
I would say if you're already being this passive aggressive, just go down that road. Start wiping on the pole, Right?
Stavros Halkias
Put your ass cheeks between the poles.
Felix Biederman
Just rub on it when she's not home. Home. And then when she's like, what the is this? Like. And then, you know, you're like, I don't know.
Stavros Halkias
I don't know.
Felix Biederman
Maybe eventually she gets. Yeah, she gets a horrible yeast infection and dies.
Stavros Halkias
She dies.
Felix Biederman
And then now it's your pole.
Stavros Halkias
Now it's your pole. You can do whatever you want with it.
Felix Biederman
You keep it there and. But you'll know. That's what happens if somebody disrespects you.
Bubba Wallace
You notice that he's not saying, like an example of something.
Felix Biederman
This is unrelated. But like, how about like a gay guy that's got like. Like guys asses mounted around it like a hunter would.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I like that.
Felix Biederman
And so it's like all the guys, he's.
Stavros Halkias
He's in the ass. Oh, to death.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. So they're like their rear, like, you know the thing you can. It's like the guy's dick in his ass.
Stavros Halkias
Yep, yep.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, it's those, but backwards.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
They're all mounted on plaques around his house. And he looks like the Jumanji guy.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Felix Biederman
And he's like, ye. I'm. I'm gay.
Stavros Halkias
I'm gay and I've killed these many guys with my dick. Yeah. It's interesting, man.
Felix Biederman
What if you did that?
Stavros Halkias
That is true. What if you got molds of girls tits? You right? You're like, hey, you want to put. You want to put something pornographic in my.
Felix Biederman
Hang them all around the ceiling.
Stavros Halkias
Yep.
Felix Biederman
Big fuzzy painting of Joe Camel. And he's got giant tits.
Stavros Halkias
He's got huge tits. And you're sucking his dick.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. And he's smoking his own penis like a cigarette.
Stavros Halkias
Yep. That would be fair. That would be a fair counter to this thing you agreed on.
Felix Biederman
He's pulling the sunglasses now.
Stavros Halkias
Is it connected to him or is it like disemboweled? Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Felix Biederman
You hang it from the pole.
Stavros Halkias
You could get something like that by the pole. You're like, well, you got something for the living room. I got something for the living room.
Felix Biederman
My stuff.
Stavros Halkias
Fair is fair.
Felix Biederman
It says Nintendo Game Cube.
Stavros Halkias
But yeah, man, the basic lesson here is just actually address things when they come up. And if you've changed your mind, you can do that, but you just have to go up there and be like, sorry, I don't actually like the pole here, but I think ultimately just suck it up and light the pole. And then if. If she's not using it, you could be like, hey, you don't ever use this thing and it's an eyesore.
Felix Biederman
Or.
Stavros Halkias
And, you know, whatever. Or get that painting. It sounds good. Next question. Eldis, can you guys put your branded beverages on the ground? Sure, man. Holy crap. What the hell? Oh, man. It's time to. You guessed it. We have to keep it twisted. Wow. It's the ass Twisted question of the week, brought to you by Twisted Tea. Wow. What do you have now for us, Ellis? What's the twisted up ass question of the week?
Nicholas Mullen
Yo. So I'm just sitting in my work truck. Just finished a couple rotisserie chicken leg quarters.
Stavros Halkias
Beautiful.
Nicholas Mullen
From the grocery store.
Stavros Halkias
That's a great lunch.
Nicholas Mullen
I'm a construction worker, and here's my dilemma. I've been dating this girl for three years.
Felix Biederman
Years.
Nicholas Mullen
We both have kids from prior relationships.
Stavros Halkias
Nice.
Nicholas Mullen
So we're like a blended family. And a year into the relationship, I. I did a bad thing, arguably. Where I went and looked through her phone on Instagram and I saw she was searching this one dude.
Felix Biederman
Oh.
Nicholas Mullen
So every time I, like, I would see that she searched it, I would delete it. And then I go back the next day, he would be. Be there again. So she was creeping on this dude, and I. I asked her about it, and I come to find out that, like, that's like, her ex lover slash sugar daddy.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, wow.
Nicholas Mullen
And they broke up and he moved away. And now, you know, he's with someone else and has a kid and whatever.
Stavros Halkias
So.
Nicholas Mullen
Everything'S going with our relationship. You know, we move past us that. And then we get to the point where three nights ago, she tells me, I asked her if I'm the only one for her, and she says, would you want me to be brutally honest?
Stavros Halkias
Oh, no, dude. You ask a. Am I the only one for you? And she's like, want me to be brutally honest? That was keeping it all the way twisted. Holy.
Bubba Wallace
Well, I. I would like just preemptively give him the advice of Ace Ross in Casino. Love is something that a couple can work towards something.
Stavros Halkias
It ended really good for Ace. And Ginger got eventually. Now, did she suck his friend off credit?
Felix Biederman
He, like, went through her phone and found. And she was like, yeah, this guy. I used to. And I look him up all the time.
Stavros Halkias
I know she is pretty straightforward.
Felix Biederman
That's like. That's a level of honesty that almost no one. This might be the most Honest person I've ever heard.
Stavros Halkias
I know. Respect. This woman would have no problem telling her significant other and she doesn't want to pull their.
Felix Biederman
Living with this lady, you never have to worry whether she's cheating on you or not. Cuz you'll know she'll tell you I. Somebody else.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, go ahead and finish the call.
Nicholas Mullen
This three nights ago she tells me, I asked her if I'm the only one for her and she says, would you want me to be brutally honest? And confesses that she doesn't feel like she has closure with this guy and you know, doesn't. Doesn't feel like the. The. The line is severed and oh my God. And I'm like, why are you telling me this? And then she's getting mad that I feel some type of way like, dude, you're literally thinking about this other dude while you're with me.
Stavros Halkias
And we're supposed to be completely.
Nicholas Mullen
Go ahead with me and we're supposed to be happy. Go lucky. And I feel like it's holding us up from, you know, getting engaged.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, no, that's in love with another man.
Bubba Wallace
Hopefully. Hopefully you guys figure out that problem.
Stavros Halkias
Holy. Dude, you got to keep it a little.
Felix Biederman
He needs.
Stavros Halkias
All right, let's finish. But my guess is he needs to keep it a little more twisted engagement.
Nicholas Mullen
And from really just moving past a stagnant place. So anyway, just. I don't know what to do with that. You know, like, I don't know how to move.
Felix Biederman
Who knows?
Bubba Wallace
How can you solve that one?
Stavros Halkias
Holy. Normally I would say, you know, you and your significant other should sit down with a couple ice cold twisted teas and figure it out.
Felix Biederman
Out.
Stavros Halkias
But I think this is not. I don't even think the delicious beverage that's brewed with real iced tea can solve your problems here, man. I think you're pal. I mean, she's keep to her credit. She's keeping it really twisted. She's keeping it very twisted. She's keeping. She's being very honest with you. The problem is she's basically told you I love someone else.
Bubba Wallace
I don't feel like the love line is severed.
Stavros Halkias
What a insane thing to say.
Bubba Wallace
It's just that it just that I think about, you know, if you were.
Stavros Halkias
Him every night and like he's happy with someone else, but the second that would change, I would obviously go back to him. I mean, you got to get the out of there. Dude. What the are you talking about?
Bubba Wallace
Oh my God.
Stavros Halkias
You got to go and you have kids, man. Like this woman clearly does not care about you that much. Like until this guy dies, she probably will constantly be thinking like, at best you're like just a plan B and you want something more than that. You're clearly in love with her. You feel bad, but good. Christ, bro, you gotta get the out of there. You gotta enjoy some ice cold twisted teas by yourself and maybe with a new woman who doesn't think about her ex sugar daddy slash boyfriend who she's still in love with. Yeah, you gotta get the out of there, man. This is pretty right down the middle. She's keeping it twisted. You're not keeping it twisted enough. You got to keep it twisted and get the out of this relationship.
Felix Biederman
Congrats on the rotisserie chicken.
Stavros Halkias
That is awesome. Yeah, yeah, that's a good. That's a good ass lunch. Half a rotisserie, all dark. Yeah, love that. I actually kind of want that now.
Bubba Wallace
Do you have like a twist the tea sound drop for like unblending the families?
Stavros Halkias
No, but we should. Holy, that was twisted.
Bubba Wallace
That's what families say when they get unblended.
Stavros Halkias
Wait, wait, where's the. Can I have some?
Felix Biederman
Can I. I don't say something you.
Stavros Halkias
Might have to cut. Well, there goes that next question. Elis. Yeah. Remember folks, remember if you're. If you're theoretical, you're one DM from an ex away from getting cut. You should keep it twisted and get the out of that relationship.
Felix Biederman
All right, what's the music is. Can we talk about other drinks?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, sure, man. You can. Yeah, go ahead, man. What other drinks do you want to talk about?
Felix Biederman
The non alcoholic Guinness will blow your mind.
Stavros Halkias
Love that.
Felix Biederman
It's so good.
Stavros Halkias
I might have to get in there. It's really good because I've been doing some NAs. I've been doing some like, you know, obviously when I want something alcoholic, I take the stuff smooth. 5% by alcohol, brewed with realized tea.
Felix Biederman
It was so good. I like looked up on Reddit to see if other people liked it. And then I found a post from a guy on Reddit that says ending the weekend the right way. And he's got a cigar and a non alcoholic in it.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, dude.
Felix Biederman
And then a non alcoholic Guinness branded pint glass.
Stavros Halkias
It's specifically the na one.
Felix Biederman
He's in his backyard.
Stavros Halkias
That's so with the little Bluetooth speaker. Speaker. That's the kind of a guy who's just been cucked is. That's what he's posting on Reddit, dude.
Felix Biederman
Ending the weekend the right way in it.
Stavros Halkias
The right way. Even though Gina Went back to her ex. I'm not gonna fall off the wagon. All right, what else we got? Big Eld. This is a long one and it kind of cuts off before they get to the actual question. But I think the caller needs some guidance, so.
Felix Biederman
Okay, let's hear him out.
Stavros Halkias
All right.
Felix Biederman
No, for real though, you got to delete that. That call.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, we will. We will cut it off. We will cut it off. But. But this. Yeah. This is crazy. That is so funny. Oh, all right. Yep. We'll probably not even air that. Or then we'll just resume the episode.
Felix Biederman
Right now people are going to think I said something insane.
Stavros Halkias
It was not mulle. It was not mully. It was. Our caller may have incriminated themselves. Incriminated themselves.
Bubba Wallace
Oh, my God.
Stavros Halkias
All right, well that. That is so. You're so right, dude. People be like, stop. Yeah, half people are gonna be like, mullen. And then have people be like, st's A. And meanwhile we're just trying to keep someone out of jail.
Felix Biederman
I didn't even say. I was just expressing enthusiasm about non alcohol. Again, members of the non alcoholic Guinness community. I'm tame.
Stavros Halkias
I do love a nice na beer. For real.
Felix Biederman
What do you drink?
Stavros Halkias
Just like, what? The athletic one. What's that?
Felix Biederman
I've hear that recommended pretty good. I had a Klaus taller last night. Yeah, because that's the only thing they had at the grocery store.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. No, I like them. I mean, I just. I'll just get like a regular.
Felix Biederman
Last fourth of July, I saw Sodor and I guess he had only recently stopped drinking.
Stavros Halkias
What?
Felix Biederman
Or maybe. Maybe I'm confused, but the point of. The point of the story.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Is that maybe it was like, he's new to Heineken. Zero.
Stavros Halkias
I think that's where Raleigh was.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. And he was like. He was like, yeah, these are just as bad. He's like, I had 12.
Stavros Halkias
12 zeros.
Felix Biederman
12.
Stavros Halkias
Dude. I have. Dude, I have seen guys put those. And they'll be like, I have to have the ones that are zero. Cuz some of them are like 02 or whatever.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And they'll be like, I can't do that because I will just have like 40 of them. Yeah, but that is pretty funny when just the taste does it for you.
Felix Biederman
Yeah. It's kind of like an argument as to why child should be illegal.
Stavros Halkias
All right, well, you asked question. I agree. It should be illegal from like a behavioral standpoint. And folks, we left that in. So we're not censoring Nick. It's just the call is what we got.
Felix Biederman
You're saying it should be illegal. Non alcoholic beer is evidence.
Stavros Halkias
All right. And we agree. Next question. Elvis.
Felix Biederman
Riley herbs from 23:11. Racing here. And you know what grinds my gears?
Stavros Halkias
Waiting for coffee.
Felix Biederman
But instead of counting frappes and lattes.
Stavros Halkias
I fire up Chumba Casino.
Felix Biederman
No apps, no fuss, just fun social.
Stavros Halkias
Casino games to pass the time.
Felix Biederman
By the time my coffee's ready, I've already taken a few victory laps.
Stavros Halkias
Next time you're stuck waiting, make it entertaining.
Felix Biederman
Play for free@chumba casino.com.
Stavros Halkias
Let'S Chumba. Sponsored by Chumba Casino.
Bubba Wallace
No purchase necessary VGW Group void where.
Stavros Halkias
Prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. Hey, Stavi.
Nicholas Mullen
Hey, Eldis. And esteemed guest. Firsttime caller, longtime viewer. So my problem is basically this. I have a girlfriend. She's great. We've been together on and off three years. She's super hot, but she's not very good at giving head. I don't really. I don't really care. It's not. Not like, you know, I've only gotten good head from, like, someone else, like, once in my life. Don't really care. I. I'd rather.
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Nicholas Mullen
But she keeps trying to do it and trying to get better, and I keep giving her pointers.
Stavros Halkias
She's just practicing other guys off. She's like, all right, this idiot that I've been on again off again with, I'm gonna learn how to suck dick on him. Then I'm gonna suck my dick to suck dick to the top, trying to.
Nicholas Mullen
Help her figure it out. And every time I give her a pointer, she kind of just doesn't really do it.
Stavros Halkias
And I'm not.
Nicholas Mullen
I'm not out here begging for head. I don't. I don't it. I don't absolutely need it. But she's the one that wants to get better. She wants to keep trying. How do I get her to get better? She.
Felix Biederman
She.
Nicholas Mullen
She loses her grip on it. She can't.
Stavros Halkias
She has motor problems. She's one of those, like, grippers for, like, old and fat people to get off the shelf.
Felix Biederman
She's the jacket chicken around the parking lot. A lot of jump rope.
Bubba Wallace
She might be more of a visual learner, too, right?
Stavros Halkias
You might have to show her how to psychic guys dick.
Felix Biederman
You might have to get the Joe Hamill poster.
Stavros Halkias
Keep going.
Felix Biederman
I want that now, dude.
Stavros Halkias
I.
Felix Biederman
Fuzzy Joe Camel.
Stavros Halkias
You can do it, man. Draw that. Break out the pen.
Felix Biederman
It's like a light. Like, like the billboards.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, yes, dude.
Bubba Wallace
That's going to be the welcome to New York. When you enter New York on.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, well, yeah, he will be wearing a full burka. Obviously, you'll be able to see his dick through it. He'll be smoking his own dick.
Nicholas Mullen
She just. She just can't do it right. She. I. I feel bad for her. She's always disappointed when I'm. When I ask her to stop or, you know, I don't stay fully hard.
Stavros Halkias
She's that bad that you're losing your erection.
Nicholas Mullen
It's a shame. I feel bad for her, but it's not like. It's not like I absolutely need her to be doing this all the time.
Stavros Halkias
Sure.
Nicholas Mullen
But I could have worse problems.
Stavros Halkias
This is a crazy question.
Nicholas Mullen
Hope you can help.
Stavros Halkias
Your girlfriend is enthusiastically trying to get better at sucking dick, but she won't take your pointers and then makes your dick soft. I don't fucking get it, dude. Basically just.
Felix Biederman
This was filed under the fuck you.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, this isn't the fuck you category. I mean, first of all, I guess you could be a better teacher. What are your pointers? Are you coming at it directly? Are you saying, you know, jerk it and suck it at the same time, play with my balls? Or are you just kind of being like, I'm not feel, you know, you need to. You need to have come at it with a little more intensity. Like, are you giving her direct quote. Direct stuff, or you just giving her feeling directions? Do you know what I mean? Like, do it like you need it or something like that. That's not. Not useful, Granular. Tell her how to suck your dick. And otherwise it's like, I don't know, dude. This isn't the fuck you category. Because I don't understand how if someone's asking you for pointers, it sounds like you're fucking it up.
Bubba Wallace
I will say that Lou Holtz has a great book on coaching. I think you should read.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, you should read a bunch of, like, you should read Bill Belichick's book. You should read fucking Phil Jackson's book about how he played mind games with Kobe to get him to win. That might be what you need to do. You may do mind games here.
Bubba Wallace
You watch a documentary about the Moronoviches.
Stavros Halkias
Maybe, Or, yeah, she might be a visual learner. You could show. You could buy a dildo and suck dick in front or suck the dildo in front of her. Be like, do it like this. So there you go, man. Good luck. This is just weird because it's not like the questions that I'm trying to get my girlfriend to suck me off. It's like she's just doing it too much and I. I don't like it.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, like, in his ideal world, what, like, how would his pro. Like, how would you solve his problem?
Felix Biederman
These people don't understand what a question. They're just calling in to complain about something. They're like, I have cancer. It sucks. The treatment isn't working. It's ass cancer.
Stavros Halkias
I would say you just be more specific with your pointers. Or just her face, you know? Know what I mean? That's pretty easy. Just be like. Or just get to the. If, like, get to the post haste. Yeah, be like, ah, I'm good on that right now. Let's just. I really want your or something. Great, great. Get to the fast.
Felix Biederman
Get her underwear that says closed for business.
Stavros Halkias
Right.
Felix Biederman
So when she takes your pants off, point only.
Stavros Halkias
No head.
Felix Biederman
The only zone.
Stavros Halkias
But then it makes it seem like he has a pussy, he's only got.
Bubba Wallace
A pussy, she won't try to suck it.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, true, dude. All right. Yeah, that's true. Only zone or closed for business.
Felix Biederman
Or. You know what? You put your. You store your penis in your ass so it smells terrible.
Stavros Halkias
What if your dick is small?
Felix Biederman
Yeah, just smear all over your dick constantly.
Stavros Halkias
The pole question and the dick the head question.
Felix Biederman
When you. Her, she gets a terrible.
Stavros Halkias
She dies. And she dies, dude.
Bubba Wallace
I mean, that one was. That would solve like, three out of four of the questions, honestly. And maybe the one that you're not airing.
Stavros Halkias
Right, right, right, right, right.
Bubba Wallace
If she really had a lot of time.
Felix Biederman
Oh, here we go. This is a good one. Age gap.
Stavros Halkias
Okay, play. Play for us.
Caller 1
Eldest Savi. Eldest guest. Love you guys. Guys, what's up? I'm calling because I need some help with.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, this sounds like Dennis the Menace. Doesn't even sound like a. I don't think that two weeks is.
Bubba Wallace
Is a fair enough time to take my slingshot.
Felix Biederman
Mr. Wilson keeps opening his trench coat to Wilson while I'm digging up his yard.
Stavros Halkias
That is the Menace calling in about his HDF relationship with Mr. Wilson, my husband.
Caller 1
I think he's going through his midlife crisis or something, and I just. It's breaking my heart, man, to see him going through this.
Felix Biederman
Can you turn it up some context?
Caller 1
I'm 28, and he's 52. We've been married for almost four years. We've got two kids. Life is awesome. Everything's going good. But, you know, lately I. I just him like calling himself ugly and saying that he's old and, you know, we just found out recently that he's got some arthritis and he needs a knee surgery and stuff. So he feels like he's just like ugly and unwanted now. And it kills me, guys. Like, I don't know, you know, I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm young, so I'm not really there yet. Mentally.
Felix Biederman
Sure.
Caller 1
And he's like, you know, he's a.
Felix Biederman
We're.
Caller 1
We're party animals. We like to party, to have fun and. And have threesomes and, oh, wow, late. Nobody seems to want to. And he's taking it to heart and.
Bubba Wallace
All right, I have. I have an easy answer for this one.
Stavros Halkias
Put him adrenochrome retirement home.
Bubba Wallace
Well, kind of like Adrenochrome. TRT.
Stavros Halkias
TRT.
Bubba Wallace
If you're a 52 year old man and you have two kids with your 28 year old wife and you're like, I. No one wants me. Like something I thought. Do you have postpartum? What's going on, buddy?
Felix Biederman
The problem.
Bubba Wallace
You need testosterone replacement.
Felix Biederman
The problem is, is the Gen X guys don't have, like, an effective way to have a midlife crisis. It's like, what do you get back into Kevin Smith movies? It's like, this guy's gonna buy a Mustang or Harley kill himself.
Stavros Halkias
Right, right, right. Well, his life is always.
Felix Biederman
They wasted their youth.
Stavros Halkias
Well, it's possible that this marriage is kind of a midlife crisis. Like millennial. You married a 24 year old and you have threesomes with her. It's like, is it possible that the bill is coming due for that? You know what I mean? Like, where he's like, what am I doing? Am I even. This guy, like, you know, I'm getting.
Felix Biederman
Into midlife crisis territory now.
Stavros Halkias
What are you thinking?
Felix Biederman
Retro gaming?
Stavros Halkias
Yep.
Felix Biederman
I got a GameCube.
Stavros Halkias
Yep, yep.
Felix Biederman
I got flash carts now you can put every game on everything. And it's amazing. I'm with you and that's my, like, hot rod.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Yeah.
Felix Biederman
But I don't know what you do if you're 52. It's like, we go watch Dawson's Creep. They have nothing.
Stavros Halkias
Keep going. Also, see if there's. I think we pretty much got it.
Caller 1
But I'm not saying that it's because of him, because it's not. But I don't know what to do or say to help him feel better. You know, this guy's got a nice setup go through and just have to wait it out. Continue to be supportive and tell him that he's handsome and that I love him.
Stavros Halkias
This guy sounds like you're married. Yeah.
Caller 1
Love you guys. Keep up the great work.
Stavros Halkias
This is cute, though. She loves her husband.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah. She. Yeah. Somehow this didn't just, like, disgust her.
Felix Biederman
This be great, too. If this guy just thinks he's being humble, like, oh, I'm so old, dude. I'm a child. Tricked her into letting me. Other people. Oh, I'm just an old man. Where are my glasses?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. I mean, look, part of this is that he. Here's the thing. He is older. He is old. He needs knee surgery. As our. Like, he's not. You're the one who's more wrong about this than him. Like, he is. He's correct about what's going on with his life.
Felix Biederman
Too's a little young for knee surgery, isn't it?
Stavros Halkias
But, I mean, if your shit's. It's the. It's the lower limit of that.
Felix Biederman
I was in Austin, like, when I saw you. Yeah. And I got. That night I went out and I got drinks with, like, friends I hadn't seen in, like, 15 years. Yeah. You know, these are guys I've known since I was my. My early 20s.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
And so something we're talking about, like. Yeah. It's crazy that we're, like, older now. Like, one of our friends just turned 52.
Stavros Halkias
Holy.
Felix Biederman
He's like a. Like, a singer in, like, a punk band, you know, Old man. And then my friend Joe, who's 40, he's like, yeah, I just found out I have to get my hip replaced.
Stavros Halkias
Whoa.
Felix Biederman
And I was like, well, that. You're 40. What the are you talking about? That's, like, insane to have to get your hip replaced if 40.
Stavros Halkias
But does he have. He legit. Has to.
Felix Biederman
He said he has to. He said he has, like.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
I mean, bone spurs.
Stavros Halkias
That can happen. So, like, I guess that part of this is. Yeah. I think, Felix, you're absolutely so right. TRT is so the solution here.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
It's like, just get on that Sylvester alone still has. He's still jacked. He's like, 70 or whatever.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Mel Gibson looks at that. I think really the answer is anti Semitism.
Bubba Wallace
Well, that's a side effect of trt.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
Winning all those fights.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. How old is mel?
Felix Biederman
He's like 67.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Let's see.
Stavros Halkias
Mel Gibson, age 69.
Felix Biederman
Damn. I was close.
Stavros Halkias
He was pretty good for 70.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Sylvester Loan 79. That's crazy. So, yeah, put him on some steroids. But ultimately, he's got a. You. You've provided a pretty nice Life for this guy.
Bubba Wallace
What more could you do for him?
Stavros Halkias
You can't do anything else, so, you know, he's gotta snap out of it. And, you know, you can be supportive, whatever, but you know, it's so funny to be like, yeah, we lately nobody's wanting to. It's so funny we can't get together. My husband's sad because we can't get together.
Bubba Wallace
He's sad for both of us.
Stavros Halkias
So, yeah, you've done a great job here. Keep being supportive, whatever, and put him on some TRT and hopefully he'll snap out of it. Damn, that's a nice little setup.
Bubba Wallace
I knew a couple, like, maybe you should cut this. But like, I knew a couple, not like, not like that word. The guy was 52, but like, they had an open thing like that where the girl was really hot and she would always like, you know, go out to like get threesomes for them. And she was like, well, like, you're just like some loser and you're all these girls because of me. I want to a guy. And he was like, okay. And I was that guy that she got to. And I was like, are you sure this is like a good deal for you? Did you think about this?
Stavros Halkias
And you're just like, you, like, you real fast and you're like, all right, time to fire up the Xbox. You're like, you just nut fast. Then you like hit the Xbox and order seamless with the guys. Thanks for the. Got to go.
Bubba Wallace
Leaving from my own apartment.
Felix Biederman
Just don't even put your pants back on. Buck off the street.
Stavros Halkias
That's hilarious.
Bubba Wallace
I don't care if you got that.
Stavros Halkias
Nice. That's awesome.
Nicholas Mullen
Hey, ST and Eldis. Hope y' all are having a good one. Wanted to call and see if y' all could help me out with something here.
Felix Biederman
The whole. That like owns the gun store. The guy with the mission.
Nicholas Mullen
Help me out with something here. I work in the. Let's call it the funeral services industry. Right. And I do overnight transportation, you know, so kind of jarring for some people. The problem I've been having is that in my day to day life, talking to people, you know, I'll kind of let them know what I'm up to in my day to day. And I usually get two reactions. They're either horrified at the job that I do, or they are so into what I do that it kind of creeps me out a little bit. Like I'm talking to some Jeffrey Dahmer types or something.
Stavros Halkias
Something.
Nicholas Mullen
And I was wondering if there was any Way that I could sort of subtly hint to people at what my job is without freaking them out. Or if I'm just sort of, you know, doomed to be the, you know, grim reaper to people most of the time. So if you got any advice, let me know. Thanks, guys.
Stavros Halkias
He does sound like that. He kept sounding like that the whole time. So he transports dead bodies. That would. He does. Yeah, I think so.
Nicholas Mullen
That's what it sounds like.
Stavros Halkias
My man just is a. Is a trucker for dead bodies. He overnights dead bodies. Why don't you just say you. You're a truck. An overnight trucker.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, that's as bad, dude. Yeah, that's where the dead bodies come from.
Stavros Halkias
I guess that's true. Funeral. Funeral services don't have their own type of extra low class prostitute. I do love that about truck driver drivers just having lot lizards, which I've never seen.
Felix Biederman
Now I don't even know if I've been to a truck stop. I think. Aren't those just like on the side of the interstate? Is that what a truck stop is?
Stavros Halkias
We've been to some truck stops. We were on the tour. Flying Jays. Yeah, flying Jays.
Felix Biederman
So it's just a gas station, but I've never seen showers and I've seen those.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I think probably realistically that was way more of a thing before the Internet. Like before the Internet. Like I bet before it was like you could just find a. A prostitute off your phone. You had to just kind of show up somewhere. You had to be selling at the truck stop. You know, I think we probably. It's a lot. It's kind of like the straight YMCA is lot lizards. That. That's gone.
Bubba Wallace
I'm sure it's also like you have.
Stavros Halkias
To know what to look for. And the lot lizard has to know. You know, none of us quite look like a trucker or something. Right, right, right. If we wanted to buy at a truck stop.
Nicholas Mullen
Yeah, it would.
Stavros Halkias
We would be suspect. Yeah, they would. They. They're probably looking for a certain type of gentleman.
Felix Biederman
I'm wearing a cardboard truck.
Stavros Halkias
Ma'. Am. Ma'. Am. $20. For $20, you.
Bubba Wallace
You're carrying. You're carrying a bag and you accidentally let a Tonka truck fall out.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, what's this?
Felix Biederman
My truck. Oh, I keep my condoms in there. Lifestyle xl.
Stavros Halkias
The Magnum Lifestyles.
Felix Biederman
The free big condoms.
Stavros Halkias
Getting big condoms. But it's the shittiest ones. Damn, that's probably some low. I mean, my guess is some real low grade right there. But I mean, what do you tell people if you Transport dead. First of all, why do you have to tell people people right off the top? I would say I work as a. You know, I would just say I'm a trucker or something. Or that you work for a funeral home. And then the more you get to know someone, the more you're just like open with what it is. But what are you opening with? The fact that. Yeah. I haul dead bodies every night.
Felix Biederman
I thought that was only a job during like Covid.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. How many dead bodies even are there like day to day?
Felix Biederman
Not many. I don't know.
Stavros Halkias
Like. Hell yeah.
Felix Biederman
We drive the. What's to the hearse.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, that'd be cool. If you drive the hearse.
Felix Biederman
Tell people you're a grave digger. Tell people you drive grave digger.
Stavros Halkias
Tell you drive grave digger. Yeah.
Felix Biederman
And when I die, that's the hearse I want grave. I want to be brought to the.
Stavros Halkias
The funeral home. It's. It's destroying other graves. It's just taking like all the tombstones.
Felix Biederman
Just trampling all crushing other hearses.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Yeah, dude. Although I will say the idea of like getting some weird goth off this is not horrible.
Bubba Wallace
That that's what I was gonna say is like whether he tells them what his job is or not. Like, I. I think he has a fantastic voice in way of speaking, but he does, you know, type is drawn to type. Let's say this guy didn't just randomly. Oh, this guy could have been a contract lawyer.
Stavros Halkias
Right.
Bubba Wallace
You know, this was. He was gonna work in the future funeral business one way or the other.
Felix Biederman
Everybody thinks I'm weird.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Actually.
Bubba Wallace
I'm actually the rocks agent. Yeah, that wasn't gonna be. So you are probably going to attract someone who is into your whole thing, right?
Stavros Halkias
I would. You're right. Steer into it. Start wearing black leather. Start getting. Doing eye makeup.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And then get with fat tits.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah. Go around, you know, get eye makeup. Know Jack Skellington.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Best friend. He's my friend. He got me that job. Skin is my friend. He's real and he's my friend. That'd be awesome. I. The who had put the. With the slotted spoon or whatever the. Wait, what? She drinks the. She pretends to drink the poison.
Felix Biederman
Poison?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, so she can go out.
Felix Biederman
Night shade. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Yep. Oh, that's her dad.
Felix Biederman
That's her dad. Well, he made her.
Stavros Halkias
Oh.
Felix Biederman
She's a scientist that made Sally out.
Stavros Halkias
Of dead body parts. Sally is a piece of. I'll tell you that much. Salute to her.
Felix Biederman
And she can tighten it with at will.
Stavros Halkias
That's so true. They have two bolts. Like Frankenstein has bolts on his neck. She's got them on her. That would be awesome. You could just leave your dick in there and then she could tighten and loosen and it feels like you're. You're without even having to move.
Felix Biederman
Just imagine coming down the stairs Christmas morning and you see that and he's like, merry Christmas. He's like busting. Busting a dead woman. Merry Christmas, little boy.
Stavros Halkias
Here's some Franken for you.
Felix Biederman
The studio's like, no, Mr. Burton, I don't think really going to. Maybe for the dvd. I don't think the theatrical release. We're going to leave in the busting in Sally on Christmas morning scene to scare the kids.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Salute to her. Truly. Definitely. Probably why I want to. A goth is probably Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas. Felix, do you have any inclinations that in that regard did you want to her from Nightmare Before Christmas? I know Nick did.
Felix Biederman
I'd like to put Mr. Oogie Boogie in the microwave.
Stavros Halkias
Wrap him around.
Felix Biederman
Around a little hole in Mr. O. Boogie. Get him all warm. It's filled with bugs.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, that's not bad.
Felix Biederman
Yeah, that ain't bad.
Stavros Halkias
Nothing for you, huh, Felix?
Bubba Wallace
Un unheard. I don't know. I don't remember that movie too well.
Stavros Halkias
Okay, okay, okay.
Bubba Wallace
I liked Gina Gershon, the real woman.
Stavros Halkias
From in, you know, Face Off. Yeah. Oh, you just like. We just wanted to her. I know Jenna Gershon is eldest.
Bubba Wallace
You don't have to look up n. Bring her back.
Felix Biederman
I'd love to Gershon her. Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
In her Gina.
Stavros Halkias
On her Gina. I like the Gershon, Regina. There we go, boys. We got to it.
Bubba Wallace
Vagina takes the village.
Stavros Halkias
Three of the sharpest minds of 2010's podcasting.
Bubba Wallace
A few. Yeah, I remember like a few years ago go. This girl told. This girl told me, like, you should write this show about the podcast.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, my God.
Bubba Wallace
She was like, if you don't do it, someone else will. And I was like, I don't think they will.
Stavros Halkias
They will.
Felix Biederman
They did make. They tried to make a podcast show with Zach Bra and some Indian ladies, but she.
Bubba Wallace
She meant about like.
Felix Biederman
I think it was called the Indian Ladies Podcast.
Bubba Wallace
She meant. She meant like, literally either a roman a clef, or like straight retelling of Chapo and Gumtown. And it's like nothing would happen.
Stavros Halkias
It's like we were just.
Bubba Wallace
Worst idea ever.
Stavros Halkias
It would be like. It would be like just.
Felix Biederman
You got the whole story. We got PlayStation.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Felix Biederman
Well, it was the end of it.
Stavros Halkias
It could take place in that. It so many episodes took place in that apartment, in that living room. And it was just like you guys would record and then we would come in with sandwiches. We would eat the sandwiches and then we would record and then we would watch a movie and then would go home and that was everything.
Felix Biederman
Adam would say something lame like, this is awesome.
Stavros Halkias
You know who's writing it is Adam. Adam, right now, he's writing the fucking takeoff and making himself out to be the hero.
Felix Biederman
He's dictating the key points of someone.
Bubba Wallace
Else.
Stavros Halkias
Adam Friedland stars. And it's going to come out in like 20 years and he's going to insist on playing himself. And everyone else is going to be 26. Adam's going to be fucking 611 playing himself. It's like, who's that guy who played. He played himself in like a movie about being a high schooler. Some gay guy. They made fun of him. Anyway, it's going to be like that. It's going to be like that gay guy everyone made fun of with Adam.
Felix Biederman
And it's called the gay guy.
Stavros Halkias
You got something nice for us here, Eldest? What do you got? It is Ryan Seacrest here? There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going to chumbacasino.com. it's like having a mini social casino in your pocket. Chumba Casino has over a hundred online casino style games, all absolutely free.
Bubba Wallace
It's the most fun you can have.
Stavros Halkias
Online and on a plane. So grab your free welcome bonus now at Chumba Casino casino.com sponsored by Chumba Casino.
Bubba Wallace
No purchase necessary VGW group void where.
Nicholas Mullen
Prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, here's an update from someone who called in during Jim Norton's episode. Okay, great. Howdy.
Nicholas Mullen
Stop. Elvis Guest. You know the drill. I called before. This is more of an up. This is an update, not a question. Okay, I did call to update, but I've had the great, wonderful idea. Idea to get blackout drunk watching. Let's start a cult.
Stavros Halkias
Nice.
Nicholas Mullen
So of course, seeing your beautiful face. Stop. I was like, I better call the.
Stavros Halkias
Yep.
Nicholas Mullen
And sorry about that, Elvis. I'm sure that call was terrible. I don't even remember it, but I'm almost positive I did that. Anyway, I called on the Jim Norton episode about Tom and fat and asking about the moral implications of letting my wife get fat.
Stavros Halkias
I remember that.
Nicholas Mullen
Well, she is now like she's now pregnant.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, that's what we told him to do, right? We told him the guy was wanted. His wife's get fat. We're like, just get her pregnant, dude. It looks like he's done that. All right, nice.
Nicholas Mullen
But, like, at that stage where it's like two months pregnant, so she doesn't look pregnant. She just looks fat, which for most guys, they would be livid, but holy shit, it's. It's fantastic. Getting privy to me liking it because I literally touched her stomach when she was naked and got hard instantly. And even she commented on that. But yeah, I mean, I'm happy to have the baby, but the baby's an afterthought.
Stavros Halkias
The baby's an afterthought. Oh, man.
Nicholas Mullen
Pretty good too. And pregnant tits. Hell yeah. Pop those in my mouth, like.
Bubba Wallace
Okay.
Stavros Halkias
All right.
Bubba Wallace
I think that seals it. You guys should call yourselves the number one pro life podcast.
Stavros Halkias
That's it.
Bubba Wallace
And Steven Crowder isn't doing this.
Stavros Halkias
No, dude, no. Steven Crowder's fans aren't nutting inside their wives like ours. So thanks, man. That's awesome. Congrats on the baby. We've got a future podcast listener in the womb right now.
Felix Biederman
Yeah.
Bubba Wallace
100%.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. That's interesting that he. His dick gets hard because he's touching his wife's stomach. But, yeah, this could be nice for you, man. This could be the way you break into letting your wife know you're into a plus sized gal and, you know, maybe she'll put on a couple pounds. Yeah. Good for you, man. That's nice. That's really beautiful to want to fuck your. Your pregnant wife that much. You really. There you go. El's been trying to get that sound effect going for a while now.
Felix Biederman
Good one. It's perfect. Perfect length.
Stavros Halkias
That is a good one. That is a good one. Yeah. Salute to that guy. All right, well, I think that does it. None of you want your wives to get fat, huh, boys?
Bubba Wallace
Well, I mean, my future wife, I.
Felix Biederman
Mean, I think that's probably a normal reaction. It's just most people don't call it to a podcast about her.
Stavros Halkias
I think so. I mean, I think. Well, there's. There's people who, like, complain about that, but I think the older you get, it's kind of like in basketball where it's like you size up a position. It's like, you know, MJ went from shooting guard to small forward. I just feel like every. Your wife should get. If she's hot, she goes into the. She should be into, like, the thick. I think the older people get the more. It's, like, kind of nice to have fatter tits and a fatter ass, you know, Belly.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, it's like the William Shatner thing where, like, he didn't get crazy plastic surgery, but he, like, gained, like, 10 pounds every year. And it kept his face very smoothed out.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Smooth out nice. Yeah. Fills out the wrinkles that way. So salute to that guy. I think that's gonna do it for us. Gentlemen, of course, as we've been talking about this whole time, the book is Chapo years in row.
Felix Biederman
All right.
Bubba Wallace
I was supposed to be promoting that. Look, if you've liked all these calls about, like, the mortician or whatever the. Yeah, that's in there.
Stavros Halkias
Yep, yep, yep.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, yeah.
Stavros Halkias
What's in the book, man? Real quick? Give us, like, a third.
Bubba Wallace
Okay.
Stavros Halkias
It's just comics or whatever.
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, yeah. We all. We all did. We all did comics.
Felix Biederman
It's just like, shitty regions. So what's this piece of you got?
Stavros Halkias
Sounds great.
Felix Biederman
You.
Stavros Halkias
Comics or whatever. You all did your own comics?
Bubba Wallace
Yeah, yeah. Matt and Amber worked on Matt's drawing it too.
Stavros Halkias
It's gonna take a really long time, guys. He's hand drawing every single, single one.
Bubba Wallace
Stop the pre orders.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, yeah, whatever. You guys get it. We'll. We'll link you to it. Yeah, out there, boys. Thanks for doing the pod. We'll. We'll talk to you guys next time. Bye. Bye.
Felix Biederman
See you.
Stavros Halkias
Sam.
Podcast Summary: Stavvy's World – Episode #137 with Felix Biederman and Nick Mullen
Release Date: July 14, 2025
The episode kicks off with host Stavros Halkias promoting Chumba Casino, highlighting over 200 social casino games available for free play. Shortly after, Stavros introduces the episode's guests:
Stavros encourages listeners to call in for advice at 904-800-STOP, setting the stage for a lively and interactive discussion.
Felix Biederman joins from his couch, and Nick Mullen is mentioned as another guest. The conversation begins with a humorous exchange about middle names and nicknames. Bubba Wallace participates, suggesting creative middle names like "F.C. Beiderman," evoking the image of a race car driver. The trio engages in playful wordplay, discussing the merits of various name combinations and the notion of initials.
Notable Quote:
The discussion shifts to Felix the Cat, exploring nostalgic memories and the character's adventures. Felix Biederman shares his limited experience with the cartoon, while Bubba Wallace reminisces about the scenes and characters, including the antagonist's attempts to seize Felix's magic bag.
Notable Quote:
The conversation delves into historical references, touching on figures like Gargamel from "The Smurfs," and transitions to real-world politics with mentions of Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, and the Nixon Administration. The guests humorously critique political leaders, imagining exaggerated scenarios involving midlife crises and office mismanagement.
Notable Quotes:
Felix Biederman and Bubba Wallace share anecdotes about moving into new apartments, roommates, and living conditions. They discuss the challenges of cramped spaces, quirky landlords, and pet ownership, particularly focusing on Old King Cole, a troublesome cat that caused chaos in their shared living spaces.
Notable Quote:
The trio explores various pop culture elements, including TV shows like "Game of Thrones" and movies like "Finding Nemo" and "Gattaca." They debate the merits of these shows and films, intertwining personal opinions with humorous critiques and hypothetical scenarios involving characters from these franchises.
Notable Quote:
Listeners call in with personal relationship issues, seeking advice from Stavros and the guests. The calls cover topics like:
The responses range from humorous to surprisingly thoughtful, offering a blend of comedic relief and genuine advice.
Notable Quote:
Throughout the episode, sponsors are seamlessly integrated into the conversation:
Notable Quote:
As the episode wraps up, more listener calls are addressed, touching on topics like:
The hosts maintain their signature blend of humor and candid conversation, leaving listeners entertained and engaged.
Notable Quote:
Episode #137 of Stavvy's World with Felix Biederman and Nick Mullen offers a rollercoaster of humorous banter, personal anecdotes, pop culture discussions, and listener interactions. Hosted by Stavros Halkias, the episode successfully balances light-hearted comedy with moments of genuine advice, all while seamlessly incorporating sponsor messages. Whether you're a regular listener or new to the show, this episode provides ample entertainment and relatable content.
Please note: The podcast contains mature language and explicit content that may not be suitable for all audiences.