#139 - Sarah Sherman

Summary

Podcast Summary: Stavvy's World
Episode #139 - Sarah Sherman
Release Date: July 28, 2025

Introduction In episode #139 of Stavvy's World, host Stavros Halkias sits down with his friends Ryan and Eldis, alongside returning guest Sarah Sherman. The trio delves into a mix of personal anecdotes, humorous banter, and listener questions, offering a candid look into their lives on tour, relationship dynamics, and everyday challenges.

---

Life on Tour: Food and Health Challenges

A significant portion of the episode revolves around the intricacies of maintaining a healthy lifestyle while touring. Stavros shares his disciplined approach to nutrition, emphasizing the importance of protein-packed meals to stay fit despite the temptations of constant traveling.

Notable Quote:
[02:31] Stavros: "Protein pancakes. Which we got to get back to making, by the way."

However, Ryan provides a contrasting perspective, humorously recounting his indulgent eating habits on tour, including martinis and burgers, which lead to uncomfortable mornings dealing with the aftermath.

Notable Quote:
[12:33] Ryan: "I think my stomach is coated from the poison from last night."

The conversation highlights the struggles of balancing health with the relentless pace of tour life, touching on the reliance on remedies like Pepto Bismol to manage digestive issues.

Notable Quote:
[16:19] Ryan: "They don't tell you about that in school."

---

Tour Anecdotes: Buses, Friendships, and Memorable Moments

The hosts share humorous and relatable stories about their experiences on tour buses, from cramped living conditions to unexpected interactions with fellow travelers. Stavros reminisces about being the designated 'fat bully' in projects, a role that posed its own set of challenges.

Notable Quote:
[03:33] Ryan: "So it'd be insane if you showed up a skinny legend. It would be insane."

Eldis adds to the camaraderie by recalling how they managed tour diets together, emphasizing the supportive environment that helped them stay committed to their health goals.

---

Listener Segment: Navigating Relationships and Exes

Caller Sarah Sherman:
Sarah Sherman reaches out with a heartfelt question about managing her relationship dynamics involving her ex who follows her on Instagram. She explains how her ex’s interactions inadvertently enhance her current relationship’s intimacy, creating a confusing dilemma about whether to block her ex or let the situation continue.

Notable Quote:
[67:13] Sarah Sherman: "Every time my ex watches one of my stories, my wife and I end up having incredible sex."

Advice from Stavros and Eldis:
The hosts dissect the situation with a blend of humor and practicality. Stavros suggests that relying on an ex’s presence to boost relationship intimacy is problematic and advises Sarah to consider setting clear boundaries to maintain the health of her current relationship.

Notable Quote:
[73:11] Stavros: "This just seems so way too early to be worried about this."

---

Cheating and Seeking Redemption: A Complex Scenario

Another listener presents a scenario involving infidelity, where the individual contemplates introducing a hall pass or a threesome to heal his wounded masculinity after his wife’s affair. Stavros and Eldis respond with unfiltered opinions, questioning the effectiveness and sincerity of such measures.

Notable Quote:
[75:18] Stavros: "That's not that crazy to me. If I'm being completely honest. That's really not an insane thing to ask for."

The discussion underscores the complexities of dealing with infidelity and the potential pitfalls of seeking unconventional solutions without addressing underlying emotional issues.

---

Humorous Banter and Light-Hearted Moments

Throughout the episode, Stavros, Ryan, and Eldis engage in playful teasing and witty exchanges, keeping the tone light despite the serious nature of some topics. Their chemistry adds an entertaining layer to the conversations, making the listeners feel like part of the camaraderie.

Notable Quote:
[29:20] Ryan: "My kids come out like the alien xenomorph."

Their humor serves as a balancing act to the more intense discussions, showcasing their ability to navigate a range of emotions and topics seamlessly.

---

Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

As the episode concludes, the hosts reflect on the importance of honesty and clear communication in relationships, emphasizing that superficial fixes often fail to address deeper issues. They encourage listeners to prioritize genuine connections over fleeting solutions.

Notable Quote:
[88:05] Ryan: "But I didn't have any clothes for this. So I had the only two normal items were jeans and a denim shirt."

Conclusion Episode #139 of Stavvy's World offers a blend of humor, personal stories, and thoughtful advice, encapsulating the essence of what makes the podcast a favorite among listeners. Stavros Halkias and his friends adeptly navigate through various topics, providing both laughs and insights that resonate with a broad audience.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• [02:31] Stavros: "Protein pancakes. Which we got to get back to making, by the way."
• [12:33] Ryan: "I think my stomach is coated from the poison from last night."
• [67:13] Sarah Sherman: "Every time my ex watches one of my stories, my wife and I end up having incredible sex."
• [73:11] Stavros: "This just seems so way too early to be worried about this."
• [75:18] Stavros: "That's not that crazy to me. If I'm being completely honest. That's really not an insane thing to ask for."
• [29:20] Ryan: "My kids come out like the alien xenomorph."

Note: All timestamps are based on the provided transcript and correspond to the minutes and seconds within the episode.

Transcript

[Ryan]

Hello, it is Ryan. And we could all use an extra.

[Stavros]

Bright spot in our day, couldn't we? Just to make up for things like.

[Ryan]

Sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps. You know, all the mundane stuff. That is why I'm such a big fan of Chumba Casino. Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino style games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere with daily bonuses. So sign up [e-mail]. that's chumbacasino.com.

[Sarah Sherman]

No purchase necessary vgw group void where prohibited by law 21 plus terms and conditions apply.

[Stavros]

Welcome everybody to stop these world 904, 800 stop calling. We'll solve all your problems. With us returning again, Sarah Sherman. She's low energy, folks. She's hungover. I think you had one martini.

[Ryan]

I had one salty dirty martini with like hella olives and then I had a burger and now I'm like, it's salt.

[Stavros]

Hungover sounds awesome.

[Ryan]

Terrible. I texted you in the middle of the night like I can't do it it you. When your like heart is beating too fast cuz you have too much salt.

[Stavros]

Who are you talking to? I've spent like a decade feeling that way.

[Ryan]

But what is that? Was my heart beating cuz of the alcohol poison or. It's cuz it was like a.

[Stavros]

Where were you? Were you. Were you anxious?

[Ryan]

I was in my bed not being tossing and turning like this.

[Stavros]

What? Why were you eating burgers and martini?

[Ryan]

Because.

[Stavros]

What was the occasion?

[Ryan]

I got dinner with friends, for God's sake.

[Stavros]

That's nice.

[Ryan]

Let me sue me.

[Stavros]

That's nice that you shouldn't feel bad about that.

[Ryan]

You're literally. You're hanging me out to dry.

[Sarah Sherman]

Holy.

[Stavros]

What was that?

[Ryan]

Wrong drop. I like that one.

[Stavros]

What was the drop? Holy. Oh, is that one of our alt twisted. One of our alt twisted tea drops?

[Ryan]

Yes, it was the twisted tea. Hey, hey, hey. Don't.

[Stavros]

Wait a second. Don't. Don't worry. There'll be more from them later.

[Ryan]

I. I asked for a cup of water. I said can I please water? And he gives me.

[Stavros]

Thanks. Blur it out. They're not a sponsor anymore.

[Ryan]

Eldis, what happened?

[Stavros]

It's fine. We have no. We have no beef with them. No, they just keep. They do something very shrewd. Which is even after they stop, they know podcasters are lazy and won't get waters for their guests. Maybe not podcasters. Maybe. Let's say the podcast producer might. That might be something he should think about.

[Ryan]

You cooked me a full meal before?

[Stavros]

Sure. I've made. We made pancakes.

[Eldis]

Pancakes. Protein pancakes.

[Stavros]

Protein pancakes. Which we got to get back to making, by the way.

[Eldis]

I know I'm.

[Stavros]

I'm on my. I also feel like, because I had a lot. I've been a very healthy boy this year. And you know, we won't talk about. I'm Hollywood Halkis. As everybody knows, I'm in another. Another project. We can't disclose the information what exactly it is, but it's cool.

[Ryan]

It is cool. Honestly, I never say that to you.

[Stavros]

I know. Know. You can't even hate on it. It's legitimately cool.

[Ryan]

No, it's cool.

[Stavros]

But the problem is I've been healthy because I've. I've. My whole. I've. Like, even when we went on tour, we brought one of my friends to just basically like, make sure I didn't eat too many snacks. And like, I planned all this out. But when you go, when you act in something, they got snacks everywhere and.

[Ryan]

You'Re hungry all the time because your mind and brain want to be amazing. So it's like.

[Stavros]

And of course. And of course I was asked to do something really hard. Be a fat bully. Of course that was a really tough thing for me to do, is bully the protagonist of whatever project I'm in.

[Ryan]

So it'd be insane if you showed up a skinny legend. It would be insane.

[Stavros]

It would be crazy.

[Ryan]

Not been doing your job.

[Stavros]

And if you do anything you're gonna do, I'm gonna do my job. So I had to have four uncrustables a day. I had to have.

[Ryan]

I asked.

[Stavros]

I'm a big uncrustables guy.

[Ryan]

I guess that I was like. Let me guess. Uncrustables.

[Stavros]

Uncrustables are so good.

[Ryan]

I didn't know that was going to be your Achilles heel.

[Stavros]

So good about it.

[Ryan]

Protein.

[Stavros]

Well, not that much. Not that much.

[Ryan]

A little bit sweet. Salty.

[Stavros]

No, it's sweet and salty. And I do get the strawberry ones cuz, you know, you got. Cuz that I remember as a child. Grape. You just always got grape. So when strawberry was available, that felt like going to France or something.

[Ryan]

I was never allowed to have it. Uncrustable.

[Stavros]

What about just a regular PB&J?

[Ryan]

Yes, I was allowed to have that. But my. My mom said that it was like just, you're gonna make. Just make a sandwich. Respect.

[Stavros]

She was against the uncrossed. I don't think we had too many uncrustables in my house either. This is more of an adult thing, I guess. Just Philosophically, strawberry felt like a vacation.

[Ryan]

Totally.

[Stavros]

Because grape was just what you always got.

[Ryan]

Totally.

[Stavros]

Or. And then when, you know, we were. We got Nutella before everybody else because my grandmother would bring it back, and so that was very special. A hazelnut peanut butter.

[Ryan]

Oh, did you get fluff?

[Stavros]

We never. We weren't a fluff family. We weren't a fluff.

[Ryan]

Fluff House. Nutella Chunky peanut butter.

[Stavros]

Oh, and fluff.

[Ryan]

That's good.

[Stavros]

Wow. Marshmallow fluff, huh?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

Interesting.

[Ryan]

You know what?

[Stavros]

What's your preferred jelly or jam or anything? To this day, I'm gonna say something.

[Ryan]

Crazy raspberry with a little bit of seed crunch.

[Stavros]

I like that. I don't hate that. I like that a lot.

[Ryan]

Also. I don't think I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for real for, like, I think 10 years, and then I had one recently, and I was like, damn, it's good. It's crazy when the jelly's cold.

[Stavros]

Listen, grilled cheese PB&J. Oh, they're king. They're the king.

[Ryan]

A grilled cheese pb.

[Stavros]

No, no, no. I just mean the simple sandwiches. They're kings for a reason. You really can't be. They might be the best sandwiches.

[Ryan]

Can I say something crazy?

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Growing up crazy Jewish, for some reason, toast with butter was never in the conversation, because I think it was just like breakfast, bagel, lunch.

[Stavros]

Sure.

[Ryan]

Dinner food with bagel on the side.

[Stavros]

And you grew up on Long island, so they're good bagels.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

And so we were a lender's family. We didn't know the frozen ones. That's what I thought was a bagel.

[Ryan]

I don't even know that word. Meant nothing to me.

[Stavros]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a look of complete blank. You have not even heard of it. Back to being hungover, you around with lenders, didn't you?

[Eldis]

Eldest we around with the package. I don't know if it was like lenders specifically. Like, I don't really recognize this packaging.

[Stavros]

No, that's that. They've updated their packaging. Look up lenders. Vintage. Yeah, Lenders Bagels, 1990.

[Ryan]

But they don't get crunchy. They're soft all. Oh, well, that's beautiful.

[Stavros]

Yeah. They don't get crunchy. I mean, that's a big problem.

[Ryan]

Those glass cups have crazy lead poisoning. You know, those. That type.

[Stavros]

Help.

[Ryan]

I'm helping.

[Stavros]

Yeah, I do remember those. Like, the McDonald's cups had that. Right? McDonald's.

[Ryan]

The McDonald's cups. The.

[Stavros]

But I have a Porky the Pig one. Yes, go ahead. No, Bagels, toast. You. You weren't allowed to have toast.

[Ryan]

Then when I started dating my goy boyfriend and we moved in together, he's making toast with butter all the time.

[Stavros]

Right?

[Ryan]

Crazy. Amazing.

[Stavros]

But a bagel is essentially toast, dude.

[Ryan]

No.

[Stavros]

It scratches the same age. You think because they're more. It's more brittle. You think it's more brittle. That's the thing with toast.

[Ryan]

But it's a flavor. Like, toast flavor is even different than bagel flavor.

[Stavros]

I don't. I think you're out of your mind.

[Ryan]

Bagel's got, like, egg glaze kind of. It's.

[Eldis]

Maybe I'm kind of with you, Sarah. We always used to do. You know, my mom was, like, feeling lazy to make dinner. We'd always joke around.

[Stavros]

She'd be like, how dare she? Working all day.

[Eldis]

I'm like.

[Stavros]

I'd be like, fattest son imaginable. Having to feed a fucking son that eats more than. We were both obese children. And you ate more than, like, four adult men having to feed you after working all day. Ye.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

And your sister, anyway, she would always.

[Eldis]

She would always do, like. We would call it, like, surprise. When I'd asked what for dinner, she's like, surprise. It would be, like, bread and butter with, like, feta cheese and, like, some salami on this side. Yes, dude, that does hit.

[Stavros]

And, like, that sounds awesome.

[Eldis]

I'm with you, Sarah. Like, yeah, like, getting a piece of, like, Italian bread cut from the loaf or something with, like, some soft butter on it. That's a completely different experience. And like, a.

[Stavros]

It is not a completely different experience.

[Eldis]

Dense bagel.

[Ryan]

It's really like, a different cuisine from a different country.

[Stavros]

No, you're out. You're okay. You've both taken it way too far. I will give you that. If you get a slender piece of toast that's very toasted and almost brittle, and then you. You smear the butter into it where it's almost like the ratio is almost like even butter to, like, bread. Because the bread is so. The bagel, then. That, I'll give you. That is a different experience. Fine.

[Ryan]

The flavor is different.

[Stavros]

Just because it's char.

[Ryan]

No, it's like, I. Bread is a different flavor than bagel.

[Stavros]

Bread is different than bagel. How do you stand on this eldest.

[Eldis]

I'm with her.

[Stavros]

Oh, my.

[Eldis]

When I'm talking about surprise, too. I'm honestly not even thinking about, like, toast, really. I'm thinking about, like, fluffy Italian bread from, like.

[Stavros]

Well, you've added a whole other element to this conversation. But but that's which I love too.

[Eldis]

Toast untoasted bread, bagel. They're completely different beasts.

[Stavros]

A toasted bagel. Okay, yes, toasted bagel is very similar to toasted bread.

[Ryan]

No, because your tongue. It, it. Your tongue is touching the egg coating on the outside of a bagel. When you eat toast, your tongue is touching this, like raw.

[Stavros]

You can toast that out of it. You can toast that out of it. You can heat it out. Now, I'm willing to give you, Eldis, one of the best things of all time. You want to talk about being a fat little pig? And I would ruin loaves of bread by just going inside and just taking the soft part and just being like. And smearing butter on that. Now, now we're. Now that's a delight. Just. Just grab. Just gutting a. Gutting a thing of sourdough and just.

[Ryan]

I would say I don't even know what untoasted bread tastes like.

[Stavros]

Like, wow.

[Ryan]

I don't even think I would put that even close to my lips.

[Stavros]

That's. No, A nice Italian baguette or. I'm sorry, Italian or a French baguette. An Italian. You know.

[Ryan]

You know what? I'm hung over. I.

[Stavros]

You're moving slow. That's all right. Well, that's beautiful though, that you're. Two of your. Would you say two of your favorite cuisines are bagel and toast?

[Ryan]

I would say bagel and toast, but can't do dairy. So the butter we're talking about, I mean, it's margarine. I mean, that's why. So I texted stuff. I was in a blind panic. First of all, he lives so far. I have to take them. I. I'm gonna say the address right now.

[Stavros]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

You get in the car. You're in the car for an hour and a half.

[Stavros]

You're on. Of course.

[Ryan]

And so I'm like, gotta bring a protein bar in the car. I'm not gonna make this hour long drive. Whatever celebrity lifestyle took a Uber here. Suck my dick.

[Stavros]

That's right.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's right.

[Stavros]

That's right.

[Ryan]

I put. I put this protein bar in my mouth. I was so excited about this new protein bar. I put it in my mouth. I. Tastes too good. This tastes good. There's something wrong. This tastes too good. Flip it over. Contains milk.

[Stavros]

Contains milk.

[Ryan]

Immediately texted him, get the Pepto ready on deck. As soon as I walked and I had.

[Stavros]

I was. I greeted you with some Pepto.

[Ryan]

It was amazing. That's a friend.

[Stavros]

That is a friend.

[Ryan]

That is.

[Stavros]

Well, we went through Some Pepto. I mean the. On the tour. I feel like. I feel like Pepto sort of kept it all together. That was. If we. If you eliminated one thing from the tour and everything would come crashing down. It was Pepto. Because we couldn't on the bus. So there was a lot of.

[Ryan]

You can't.

[Stavros]

On the bus.

[Ryan]

Mental.

[Stavros]

No, no, not mental at all. It just smells like. Then if you on the bus.

[Ryan]

Well, Eric, Andre, if you remember when we were on tour together, I stunk that place.

[Stavros]

You on the bus.

[Ryan]

There's.

[Stavros]

Are you kidding me?

[Ryan]

If I have to.

[Stavros]

You tell the guy to pull over. You tell the guy to pull over.

[Ryan]

At 4 in the morning.

[Stavros]

Yeah, in a bunky. In a buc. We in a couple pilot J. Flying J's. We went to Bucky's and too.

[Ryan]

What are the nuts? The little.

[Stavros]

Oh, those are good as.

[Ryan]

See, I don't think I can have that either. Right? Isn't that. That's gotta be.

[Stavros]

So you have milk. How quickly are you after you have milk?

[Ryan]

Well, I got. So I had a bite of this protein bar. A little bite. And I haven't yet.

[Stavros]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Can you put in the X Files theme song? Why haven't I yet? Some.

[Stavros]

Something. Something's not right.

[Ryan]

I think my stomach is coated from the poison from last night.

[Stavros]

From the one martini you had. Was it nice to. Was it nice to catch up with old pals and eat a burger?

[Ryan]

It was. But the thing like. So I drink a martini, blackout immediately. And then I just do that thing right. Then you just like. You can't stop. You're like, oh, I'm blackout. So I need to eat like a bunch of. I mean, burgers and risotto.

[Stavros]

Burgers and risotto.

[Ryan]

But that's just like the thing that keeps you up all night going. Yeah, but it was vegan risotto. Allegedly. Have you ever heard of that?

[Stavros]

Sounds bad. But a burger with a vegan side dish. What's the point?

[Ryan]

Because no dairy girl.

[Stavros]

I mean, what about fries?

[Ryan]

Of course.

[Stavros]

Burger and fries. You had burger and fries. Okay, so you just. You didn't even list the fry. You just like. It goes the way. You wouldn't say. It had lettuce on it. It also had fries.

[Ryan]

Lettuce. It had pickled onion. Heirloom tomatoes.

[Stavros]

Sounds good to me. Damn, I would go for a nice little burg.

[Ryan]

What did I say when I walked in here? I'm hungry.

[Stavros]

We could get something. We could order a little something on the way. On the back end of this.

[Ryan]

What's Your guys's tour. Because here. What the civilian listeners at home might not realize what touring does.

[Stavros]

And we are basically the armed forces. We are basically the we. They are civilians. That is absolutely how you should refer to them. And we are basically the troops can.

[Ryan]

Hunt, drop and give me €20. That's like racist.

[Stavros]

I don't know what I've been told. I got nothing for the back end.

[Eldis]

The civilians who can't fathom having to shit on the vehicle.

[Stavros]

Yeah, but no, not. Oh, yeah, that's right. You shit on the. Let's get back to that. You dropped a deuce on the fucking bus.

[Ryan]

If I have to shit. It's an emergency. Is happening right now.

[Stavros]

Did you bag it? Did you bag it up or. No, you went right to. You went. You're supposed to bag it. You're supposed to. In the bag.

[Ryan]

I don't remember this. What?

[Stavros]

You're supposed to. On the bag and throw it out the window.

[Ryan]

Wait. Oh, I don't remember.

[Eldis]

Sounds like you didn't do that.

[Stavros]

No chance you did that. So you sit on a bus with Eric, right?

[Ryan]

Totally.

[Stavros]

And was he mad when you woke up in the morning or.

[Ryan]

No, but that was just like the. I mean, like.

[Stavros]

I guess that's true. Of all the people that. That aren't going to be mad at you, Eric might have just shit in the fucking bus.

[Ryan]

I think the other end of the toilet was mouth water. No, but now something is coming. So this is another thing. I'm worried that I have full dementia. Of course.

[Eldis]

Because I'm like.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that is of course from all the. Because I have a new invention.

[Stavros]

Oh, yeah, that.

[Ryan]

Because of all the sugar I've been eating and the sleep aids that I've been eating. I invented that. Now I have dementia.

[Stavros]

Okay.

[Ryan]

So that's good. And that. That'll keep me up at night.

[Stavros]

Sleep based. You're not even taking anything. Taking like. You're so pathetic. You're like, I had one martini and I'm taking melatonin and my body and brain are ruined.

[Ryan]

Had one bite of a granola bar.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

But now that you're saying this, something is come to. Coming to mind. Yes. Yes, it's coming to my mind.

[Stavros]

Something's coming back to you.

[Ryan]

Something's coming back to me. Yes. I have an image. Yes. I see. I see Eric's tour manager saying no on the bus. I definitely did it. There's like no way that I didn't. You.

[Stavros]

So you're not even sure if you should on the bus or not. Is that what you're saying there's no.

[Ryan]

Way that I didn't.

[Stavros]

How long were we on the bus?

[Ryan]

Like, three weeks.

[Stavros]

We never. We were on it for three months. We didn't on it three months. Now, again. We took a lot of Pepto. There was a lot of days. And there were some days where it.

[Ryan]

Was very close when you get the hard Pepto black.

[Stavros]

Oh, my God. Absolutely.

[Ryan]

They don't tell you about that in school.

[Stavros]

We were shitting coal. We were shitting. We were sure. We were shitting charcoal briquettes out of our asses.

[Eldis]

I never took Pepto for the.

[Stavros]

You never took Pepto the whole tour, Brag. Wow.

[Eldis]

I don't want to use performance enhancers.

[Stavros]

Elvis won't take Dick. Phil's. He won't take Pepto. I respect that, man. I really do. It couldn't be me. I live. I'm a man of science.

[Eldis]

I haven't had Pepto since I was like, 8 years old or something.

[Stavros]

I didn't. My mom never let me take Pepto when I was a kid and then run through. I don't know why. She just didn't trust it. And then as an adult discovering it, I'm like, this would have solved all my problems. This would have solved all my issues as a fat child.

[Ryan]

And it's the most gorgeous color in the world.

[Stavros]

It looks delicious. I mean, I want. I think part of the problem is the first time I asked for it is because I was again, just fat as. And it looked tasty, right? It looked like a delicious milk. Strawberry milkshake.

[Ryan]

It's fashion. You were a little. You were a little fashion boy.

[Stavros]

I was. I was. And I don't know if you ever. I used to get sharp throat a lot, so I would take amoxicillin, the antibiotic that used to come in a pink. In a pink kind of syrup situation. And it tasted good as Diamond Tap as well. I liked a lot of. Met a lot of medicines. Tasted really good. I'll just. I'll just. Googling amoxicillin. What. What did you hope to achieve by that?

[Eldis]

Just want to see.

[Ryan]

What? The syringe. That's what came to mind. Yeah, that. The child. The syringe for the child.

[Eldis]

Does this shit taste like Pepsi? I always thought Pepto was, like, so gross when I. Whenever I had a fucking taste.

[Stavros]

No, this tastes like bubble gum. Like, oh, hey, gang. You just caught me having my morning cup of OG Mud water. I love mud water. It gives me a nice little energy boost. Okay. Helps me with brain fog. I was having way too much caffeine, crushing iced coffees, having spikes, having crashes. Mmm. That's not what mud water is about. No siree. Okay, we're talking about. It's got a nice little mix of cacao chai, turmeric and adaptogenic mushrooms to help you feel focused. No crash. Yeah, you get a little bit of the caffeine there with the chai. But other than that, I just feel nice balance throughout the day. Got a little pep in my step. No sugars, no sweeteners. I'm trying to be a bit of a health kick. Me personally. All you gotta do, drop the powder into your favorite mug, pour some water on it, give it a mix with this little contraption, this little doohickey right here. And if you don't want any caffeine, they also have a caffeine free blend available. It has, like I said, cacao chai. It kind of has a little hot cocoa flavor, lion's mane for focus, cordyceps, chaga reishi, A bunch of healthy immune system supporting mushrooms. You're gonna love it. I. I'm on that original. They got, you know, the turmeric starter kick. They got matcha. Whatever it is, you're gonna want to try some mud water. Ready to make the switch to cleaner energy. Head to mudwater.com and grab your starter kit today. Right now, our listeners get an exclusive deal up to 43% of your entire order, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use Code Stavi. That's right. Up to 43% off with code Stavi at M U d w t r.com after your purchase, they'll ask you how you found them. Please show your support and let them know we sent you. Keep your energy natural and refreshing all year long with Mud Water because it's too. Life's too short for anything less than clean, delicious energy. Right now, like we said, our listeners get an exclusive deal up to 43% off your entire order, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use Code Stavi. That's right. Up to 43% off with code STAVI@mud WTR.com the I.

[Ryan]

But I was. Listen, I was saying.

[Stavros]

Guys, seriously, let's get back to. Yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry.

[Ryan]

It's really.

[Stavros]

What did you want to keep on track?

[Ryan]

Well, I just wanted to say. I said civilian.

[Stavros]

Yes, yes, yes. Right, right. Of course.

[Ryan]

I really do think it cannot be understated. The toll of tour life on the.

[Stavros]

Bowels, the Bowels are tough.

[Ryan]

And, like, tour life is different than regular. I'm in a car lifestyle.

[Stavros]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Tour lifestyle is way different. I mean, you tour smart because you're famous billionaires. I'm at the airport.

[Stavros]

Yeah. It's pathetic. What? How show business. You could be on SNL and renting a Kia Sorren and just being on a podcast.

[Ryan]

I have a show in Western Massachusetts. I'm like, how do I get there?

[Stavros]

Thank the Lord for the way society has deteriorated, where somehow podcasts have become the only successful form of entertainment.

[Ryan]

And it's like, no disrespect. I'm like, what am I doing on a podcast? I should be in Brad Pitt's house.

[Stavros]

That's right.

[Ryan]

Nude modeling for us.

[Stavros]

That's right.

[Ryan]

For an artist.

[Stavros]

That's right.

[Ryan]

I should be on the COVID of, you know. Couldn't think of a fashion magazine off the top of my head.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Came to me.

[Stavros]

Yeah. Yep. Yep. Juggalos Monthly.

[Ryan]

Maybe I'm not allowed to say this on the podcast.

[Stavros]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I have been, for the past. I'm gonna say, eight years of my life, begging to do the gathering. Begging.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I have Colt Cabana, Shout Out, Amazing Wrestler Cole. Get me into the G. Yeah.

[Stavros]

Tequila. You like a lot of her politics.

[Ryan]

Good girl. Daming her. I met Upchuck the Clown, who is their mc.

[Stavros]

That's huge.

[Ryan]

And I. And by the way.

[Stavros]

So you're making a lot of headway in the clown world.

[Ryan]

Obviously. Obviously. Begged. I met him. I met him in plain clothes, by the way. He's.

[Stavros]

He's really kind of phoning it in with his face paint.

[Ryan]

He is. He's the goat. You watch your mouth and have some goddamn respect for. Upchuck. I met him when he was a plain cloth.

[Stavros]

I apologize.

[Ryan]

Please, please get me in the gathering. He's like, I'll do my best. I'll do my best. This year, finally, we're like, yo. We'll allow it.

[Stavros]

Wow.

[Ryan]

Can't even do it.

[Stavros]

Wow.

[Ryan]

Eight years begging. Wow. Can't even do it.

[Stavros]

You don't get food off stage.

[Ryan]

Get the. Get the new code.

[Stavros]

No one does well on that. No comedians do well. You would have been pelted by rocks.

[Ryan]

Why do you. Are you. Are you a comedian because you've always wanted to be surrounded by love, light support, and respect? Are you a comedian because you like to cut?

[Stavros]

Did I want. Do I want fucking white trash to throw bottles of piss at me? No, not really. Which is probably what would have happened to you at the gathering. You have no you're like, can somebody check my fucking. My projector's not working. My fucking slideshow of diarrhea is not working.

[Ryan]

They got full.

[Stavros]

Somebody poured blueberry raspberry fago. Blue raspberry fago.

[Ryan]

I'm so beside.

[Stavros]

You that actually it.

[Ryan]

Could have been me and Guar in the goddamn tent.

[Stavros]

You are meant to do that. I'm sorry.

[Ryan]

I'm actually wearing my Guar Shirt right now.

[Stavros]

What are you. What are they doing? Are they. Is. You can't be there because SNL's putting a blonde wig on you and putting a cardigan on you so you look like. So you look like somebody in hr.

[Ryan]

You love when I'm blonde. You love when I'm blonde, wearing a little shirt.

[Stavros]

Every time you post and you look like a regular person, I'm like, great. Look, you should think about this.

[Ryan]

Stay like this. My mom. Did I ever tell you what my mom does? My mom, when the show's live, she takes a picture of her TV set so she can posts on Instagram to her friends like, this is her. I know you can't tell which one's her, but this is her.

[Stavros]

She uses all those photos and on. In your, like, I guess not Christmas card, but, you know, think of what.

[Ryan]

Our Christmas would be.

[Stavros]

Think about Hanukkah. Yes, but isn't it not those. That. Not that important a holiday.

[Ryan]

But it's same time.

[Stavros]

Same time. So in your Hanukkah card.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

She uses. She uses you from a sketch.

[Ryan]

You go to my mom and dad on my mom's Instagram and look at her highlights reels. You have a look at what's going on there. It's a collage of some of the most beautiful.

[Stavros]

It's you being the straight man in a sketch.

[Ryan]

It's so. It has made me wonder if I should look different. It has. I got a lot of positive attention. Never gotten in my life. I did not know I was stunning.

[Stavros]

Well, let's not get a. Let's not get carried away.

[Ryan]

Have you seen me as Marilyn Monroe? Look up SNL YouTube elevator sketch. I don't know if I have a line. I'm definitely in it. I'm going to say two seconds. I'm. When I'm Marilyn Monroe in it, you.

[Stavros]

Don'T exactly pop up in any of them.

[Ryan]

Oh, no, it's the first one stuck in the elevator. Scroll, scroll. I'm Marilyn Monroe at some point. Restaurant, store, 30 chairs. It's. You've never seen a more beautiful Jewish girl in your life.

[Stavros]

I think I Probably have.

[Ryan]

You've never. Not even on whatever porn you watch. The.

[Stavros]

Keep going, keep going, keep going. So it's not in the first two minutes.

[Ryan]

Hi, Andrew. Hi, Keenan.

[Stavros]

Here we go. Doesn't really seem like you're in this.

[Ryan]

Well, no, that's not.

[Stavros]

Go back.

[Ryan]

Okay, play, play. I. And I. I couldn't tell you how beautiful I felt.

[Stavros]

And for the folks at home, this is minute two on the right. Is that you? Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah.

[Ryan]

And that's.

[Stavros]

You're right. You're right, Marilyn. You actually look like a hot woman there.

[Ryan]

No, it's insane. And it's. It's the. How. How many seconds would you say that is?

[Stavros]

That's about four seconds. Is that the highlight of your life? Okay.

[Ryan]

It's the Maryland Monroe Diamonds are a Girl's best friend. Pink dress. Pink and diamond choker. And then the white platinum blonde wig. Put it on. I'm going like.

[Stavros]

Like, yeah.

[Ryan]

And I need to be living my life completely.

[Stavros]

You could just switch up so fast.

[Ryan]

But then it wouldn't be fun anymore. I think. I think it's fun cuz it's drag. Like, I get how the queens feel when they're like.

[Stavros]

Yeah, it actually does count as drag when you do it.

[Ryan]

Totally. Totally queer. Ally. Thank you. Obviously.

[Stavros]

What do you think your life would be like if you just started. If you dyed your hair blonde and started dressing like that?

[Ryan]

That I would literally be. I would never talk to you again. I would never talk to you again. Billionaire. Private plane. Private jet.

[Stavros]

For real.

[Ryan]

Would never. Wouldn't even have a butthole.

[Stavros]

Yo. That shot. No. Anymore.

[Ryan]

No Pepto.

[Stavros]

Who wouldn't even know you think that. What if that was. What if you started just like that and all your gastrointestinal problems were solved?

[Sarah Sherman]

What if I was just blonde?

[Stavros]

If you just. Yeah. If you just like.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros]

What if I had a regular haircut?

[Ryan]

What if I have stomach problems because of my. I'm like refusing like my unconscious desires to be beautiful?

[Stavros]

That's very interesting. Your body's begging you because you're unconscious. Stop having a moment. Stop wearing clothes that a circus threw away. Stop getting your pants. Stop getting your pants.

[Ryan]

Where do you think these pants are from?

[Stavros]

I don't know. Literally a. A clown supply store on ebay.

[Ryan]

Yes. Go ebay. Ebay. Clown pants. See what comes up. The first thing that comes up. Okay.

[Stavros]

Shop. Go to shopping.

[Ryan]

Go. Or images. No, it's just the pants. You just have to look up. Just the pants. Pants.

[Stavros]

Right, Right.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Stavros]

That's men's I think you literally have that girl. I think you literally have that dress.

[Ryan]

I don't. But actually you.

[Stavros]

You literally have the adults.

[Ryan]

Panto dame. Long bloomers. Clown pants. Circus. Yeah.

[Stavros]

Awesome. Would you be mad if. If like, if there's a comedian started dressing like a clown, would you be like, she's jockeying my.

[Ryan]

They all the clowns. They all do.

[Stavros]

I mean, that's true.

[Ryan]

I stole it from clowns.

[Stavros]

Yeah. But like, if a comedian, you know, was doing it.

[Ryan]

The comedians. Clowns are comedians. Stop.

[Stavros]

I guess you know what I'm saying.

[Ryan]

I am. No, I do. Like when people dress crazy. Give me something to look at.

[Stavros]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I think you're wearing a crazy shirt. I looked at your shirt when I walked.

[Stavros]

It's tie dye shirt. It's not that crazy.

[Ryan]

It's crazy. It's a bunch of colors on it. There's a guy in a car that's an apple. It's crazy. You look insane.

[Stavros]

Would you really say I look insane right now?

[Ryan]

My eyes can't even comprehend what I'm looking. Well, you have. What? You are one of the most stylish men in America.

[Stavros]

Thank you. Thank you very much.

[Ryan]

Fat. Your look is fabulous. And I told you this. I didn't want you to get the tooth.

[Stavros]

And you're right about that. And I do regret having it.

[Ryan]

Can you imagine being the fat bully in the movie no tooth. What?

[Stavros]

It's so up. I never got to be in anything without my tooth. Like nothing. Nothing.

[Ryan]

Not even your movie?

[Stavros]

Well, I made it to the finals of a commercial for a carnival ride operator and I was like, I'm toothless. How am I not getting this? And some gay guy with a ponytail got it. Pissed me off. He was elegant, I'll give him that. But I was like, this guy's too.

[Ryan]

You weren't what they wanted.

[Stavros]

I was. You're right, I wasn't. But it's like, come on, you guys want some sexy gay guy with long hair. You want a toothless guy to be. To pull the lever and be like, oh, progressive insurance or whatever the it was for. I don't.

[Ryan]

I never found from the roller coaster rains down on you.

[Stavros]

But that was. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Did amazing bunch up on that.

[Stavros]

That's true. We should go back in time seven years or whenever it was and see if we can get that.

[Ryan]

I had. Did you. Was there a time when you were doing like commercial auditions and stuff like that? Like.

[Stavros]

Yeah, I never got anything, but I've.

[Ryan]

Never gotten anything from an audition. And when I was living in Chicago okay, now my dementia is fading.

[Stavros]

Okay, you're remembering stuff.

[Ryan]

Yes. I see an audition. I was in Chicago and you know, you're just like, like, you just like audition for crap for. Yeah, for money or whatever.

[Stavros]

Of course.

[Ryan]

And I was auditioning. I had a commercial agent in Chicago who's sending me all these commercial auditions because she saw my beauty through them.

[Stavros]

Of course. Of course.

[Ryan]

And I did an audition for a local pumpkin patch.

[Stavros]

Hell yeah.

[Ryan]

And they had. The commercial was like a mother, a mom and dad, and like a group of kids at a pumpkin patch and just being like, oh my God, this pumpkin patch is awesome. I'm like, come on down, or whatever. So the audition was like, we had to.

[Stavros]

I was like, you're the mom.

[Ryan]

Four at the time.

[Stavros]

You're playing the mom.

[Ryan]

And they had us audition with a family and you were supposed to like, improvise with the family. So it was me, 24, and like, I'm gonna say no disrespect, six year old dude with like full gray hair and like a bunch of children.

[Stavros]

I didn't know it was supposed to be your kid.

[Ryan]

Yes. And I had to be like, hey.

[Stavros]

Kids, like this puppy and you're wearing like suspenders.

[Ryan]

Well, I. My. I was like, oh, it's like an audition. So I was like, whatever. But I didn't have any. I remember this so clearly. Obviously goes without saying, didn't have any clothes for this. So I had. The only two normal items were I had jeans, right. And then the normal shirt I had was a denim shirt.

[Stavros]

Okay.

[Ryan]

But that's kind of like.

[Stavros]

Canadian tuxedo.

[Ryan]

Canadian tuxedo. And so I was like, I was so wigged out. I, like, didn't know. And Ruby McAllister was visiting me at the time and she was like in the waiting room waiting for me. Like this. I have a witness. I know I'm not making this up. And so she was freaked out and she sees me go into the room and there's like a bunch of kids running around and I'm like, kids, look at the pumpkins. And I didn't know how to behave around kids. So I like kind of. I was trying to like act maternal. So I like touched one, like to be like, get the fuck off me. Don't you, lady, you don't know me. Me, like, the, the person leading the audition was like, you're not allowed to touch them. And I was like, okay, whatever. And then obviously, whatever, I'm like leaving the audition room and the like 80 year old, like husband or whatever. That was supposed to have passed me out the back. And he goes, loosen up next time.

[Stavros]

Wow. He. He went in for a kiss. He was like, whoa, you're supposed to be my wife. Loosen up. You relax.

[Ryan]

What are you, what, like, 24? Barely 18. You look amazing, by the way. Not. God, you know what? I'll say it.

[Stavros]

Please do.

[Ryan]

I'm not too afraid to say it. Women not easy to deal with.

[Stavros]

Is that what you mean?

[Ryan]

Right. Exactly. Loosen up.

[Stavros]

Kind of a headache. Loosen up.

[Ryan]

Was that story as good as it felt to remember? Because, like, it's okay.

[Stavros]

I was sad. Did it feel better than C minus?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Okay. In the car, I was kind of like, what amazing stories can I tell?

[Stavros]

Eating your quarter of a protein bar, thinking about the rich life you've led.

[Ryan]

I did think of one thing that I thought you would like, because I was just like, you know, I'm like, what can we do on Stav's podcast to not talk about my weird shirts and hair?

[Stavros]

That will never happen, by the way. We will always talk about your weird shirts and hair.

[Ryan]

That's how I know I have you wrapped around my finger just like that.

[Stavros]

Not until you started doing the Marilyn Monroe. You start wearing that Marilyn Monroe dress. Maybe now we're talking, you know, one time.

[Ryan]

Maybe now I'm gonna sound like a. You know when sometimes I don't like when people. I. I've learned very. I learned. Don't learn look for what people are saying about you, obviously.

[Stavros]

Of course. Of course.

[Ryan]

But you know how sometimes you get, like, tagged in Instagram stories, so that just, like, kind of comes up sometimes?

[Stavros]

Yeah. You can't avoid it sometimes. Sure.

[Ryan]

So I saw someone attack me in something, and they're like, little Avatar was a picture of me when I was stunning.

[Stavros]

Oh, wow.

[Ryan]

And it was. I'm a Russian with white blonde hair looking a lollipop. And so that was another lick. Really stunning.

[Stavros]

The lick is next level.

[Ryan]

I was squatting on the ground in a mini skirt, licking a lollip. Again. It felt amazing. It feels amazing to hoard up. You should try it.

[Stavros]

You don't think I do it? I do a new calendar every year.

[Ryan]

Sex scenes, too.

[Stavros]

I've had. Yeah. I've been naked in movies.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it kind of feels, like, amazing.

[Stavros]

Well, that. It just feels amazing for you because you don't allow yourself even one ounce of sexual, like, identity or gratification or way too busy. You don't even. You're not like. It feels like anytime you. I. I'm guessing anytime you're Horny. You like punish yourself for it. You probably have like a mallet anytime you. Yeah. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. You hit yourself in the head with a hammer.

[Ryan]

No, clowns can't be horny.

[Stavros]

What are you talking about? Clowns are some of the horniest things in the world.

[Ryan]

La clowns. I'm talking to you guys. I've seen them have sex on stage, basically.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And I support her. Think it's cool, by the way.

[Stavros]

Well, I've seen. I mean there's definitely clown pornography that exists. That's out there.

[Ryan]

Well, I've not looking at that. I have stuff to do. You him in the bus. The bus. You guys none the wiser, having a restful night's sleep. He's in the back of the bus watching Hardcore.

[Stavros]

There was no gooning on the bus. There was no beating it on the bus now.

[Ryan]

But his goon did.

[Stavros]

We share an Airbnb and maybe I may have jacked up off. Sure, right. But that's different. You can jack off in an Airbnb. You can't jack off on the bus, cuz. You never beat off on the bus, did you?

[Eldis]

No.

[Ryan]

Where would it go?

[Stavros]

Respect. I mean, in a napkin or something.

[Ryan]

Not on the bus. There's no napkins. There's no room. It's a bus.

[Eldis]

That's the girl that. On the bus.

[Stavros]

You on the bus.

[Ryan]

Sorry, J.P. eric store manager. I must have. There's just no way.

[Stavros]

Like how many people are on that bus?

[Ryan]

Like three. So it's like there's room. How many people were on your guys's bus?

[Stavros]

We had maybe six or seven.

[Ryan]

Oh, but like five. Five. It's a lot.

[Stavros]

It's not that much but it's like.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

Compared to bands. Bands have like three to a thing.

[Ryan]

How do they live?

[Stavros]

It's horrible.

[Ryan]

I got my. This is embarrassing, but whatever. I'll be vulnerable. I have an ora ring and I saw Waxahachie live. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She. She had an ordering too. And I go, maybe I'm not such a low life loser after her. Well, after all, she has one and she says her aura ring. She got one for Tor to make sure she was sleeping. But because the tour. But telling her story.

[Stavros]

I'm literally like telling a more talented person story.

[Ryan]

Like this is her truth.

[Stavros]

We met her too. We met. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Couldn't be nicer.

[Stavros]

Couldn't be cooler in n. Yeah, I.

[Ryan]

Actually met her too.

[Stavros]

Yeah, we met her. We actually had a show sold that show at the Ryman the night I met her. When did you meet her?

[Ryan]

You? I probably was having one line in a movie in Syracuse to see the show and then probably had a half sold show in Syracuse right after. I did, actually, I did. Did you ever do Syracuse? The college?

[Stavros]

I never did the college.

[Ryan]

I. I did that a couple months ago. And like obviously goes without saying, fully lit cafeteria.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Could have fit 1500 people. Maybe 30 kids showed up. The students were like, yeah. When Marcelo was here, they was like it. He's like sold out on the block. And I was like, totally. I'm glad you told me.

[Stavros]

Buses from the neighboring cities were sending all their Latinos to come see Marcelo.

[Ryan]

And then I'm like, no, they're coming. They just got. They're all in the big clown car.

[Stavros]

Where there's one VW Beetle with 400 people coming to see Sarah.

[Ryan]

They're coming, they're coming. They're coming. They're coming. They're. They're changing a spare tire. How many clowns does it take? Whatever. What?

[Stavros]

You. You were telling two different stories. One was originally you thought of something good to tell me.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros]

But then there was a digression off.

[Ryan]

Of that because when you're on the tour bus, it's moving. So the A ring doesn't clock as sleep. So it's like confused. It sees you geographically moving through time, but you're asleep. So then I'm like, what does it think you're doing?

[Stavros]

Yeah, floating.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And again, you know, whatever. But you gotta. Sometimes you gotta have one of these.

[Stavros]

How's your sleep these days?

[Ryan]

I wake up in the middle of the night gasping. I'm not kidding.

[Stavros]

What is going on, man?

[Ryan]

I had. Maybe I had a nightmare last night. I know everyone. Dreams aren't fun to talk about. Odd.

[Stavros]

They are. They're interesting.

[Ryan]

They're insane. Yeah, I. I had a dream. Ivan Ooze was in my dream.

[Stavros]

Whoa.

[Ryan]

Do you remember, Ivan?

[Stavros]

Power Rangers? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Who's very like, obviously.

[Stavros]

That's insane. I just thought of Ivan News recently. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Was it cuz you're thinking like Sarah Squirm Ivan.

[Stavros]

No, it wasn't about you at all.

[Ryan]

Come on. It was maybe about me.

[Stavros]

I think I just saw a clip online and I was like, oh yeah, I remember that. Cuz you know that you. We had to see that in theaters. That was a must see. That Power Rangers movie was awesome.

[Eldis]

We should watch that.

[Stavros]

We should.

[Eldis]

That movie was sick.

[Ryan]

That's a summertime movie. Hanging out, having fun. Come back inside in the.

[Stavros]

We might have seen that. We might have seen that together. A. I saw with Big P. Yeah. Were you there?

[Eldis]

I definitely had it on like, tape. I know. I saw it a million times. Like, cassette.

[Stavros]

I saw. I saw Power Rangers with the. Oh, except Beeply Bad. His name. I just said it. The elusive and mysterious Big P. You.

[Ryan]

Know, I think this is how you guys have combat. Couldn't even say that word. This is how you guys combat dementia.

[Stavros]

Because, oh, we have memory. We do have someone there who's been there our entire lives. Did this really happen or am I misremembering it?

[Ryan]

And you're like, re. You know, some would find your nostalgia to be like a mental illness. And like. Like, why? Why haven't you guys matured people? Your friends are mat.

[Stavros]

Of the three people in this room, who's the most infantil? Who infantilizes themselves the most? Who's a sexless clown who chooses to live that way?

[Ryan]

Many people find me very sexual.

[Stavros]

Against your will. Against your will.

[Ryan]

No, I'm Sarah Sex.

[Stavros]

The Sarah Sex rebrand that.

[Ryan]

I'm Terracex. I'm Sarah Sex. I'm going, Juan. I'm going Marilyn Monroe. I'mma show all y' all bitches.

[Stavros]

You should try it for yourself. Well, yeah. Going back. That's the reason you like it so much, because you feel like you have an excuse to do it. It's not your choice. Someone's forcing you to do it and you're like, hey, I actually like behaving this way. Within reason. And you could just sprinkle a little of that into your life.

[Ryan]

And you know what? No one would take me seriously if they saw how.

[Stavros]

Who the fuck takes you seriously now?

[Ryan]

No one would take people.

[Stavros]

No one would take you seriously.

[Ryan]

They would be so distracted. They would be so distracted by my beauty that they wouldn't be able to hear my perfect jokes. My jokes that are so well crafted. Take me seriously, folks.

[Stavros]

I hope you're having yourself a wonderful summer.

[Ryan]

Summer.

[Stavros]

And part of a wonderful summer is hitting them skins. Getting pizuchi. Getting it with a hard ass prick. And that's what. That's what our pals at Bluechew, the number one first chewable sex tablet on the market offers. It's getting my prick in insanely hard levels, you know, and it doesn't, you know, I'm the 20,000 step bastard. I've been working a lot, working out a lot, but boy, oh boy, nothing gets your prick. Nothing brings your prick back from the dead like a Bluechew. It ain't a supplement. It's an Erection resurrection. In fact, get your harder than a with our pals of Blue Chew. Guys, this isn't just about performance. This is about legacy. Or third legacy. Give her group chat something to talk about. You know, when you lay it down there, talking about how it gets up up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little bluechew. Discover your [e-mail] and we've got a special deal for our listeners. As always, get your first month of BlueChew free. Just use promo code stavi at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Join BlueChew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to BlueChew.com for details and safety info. And big thanks to BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Thank you, BlueChew. Anyway, what was your. Okay, so we've done the Waxahachie's anecdote about her aura. You've told that? Oh yes. Ivan Ooze. Yes.

[Ryan]

In my dream I was hanging out with a bunch of people who will remain nameless because they were committing crimes against Sarah sex in this. In this dream. But like we were. I was like hanging out with a group of people and then people kept leaving their like oh my God, like we have to go. Like the Power Rangers are here.

[Stavros]

Oh nice.

[Ryan]

And I was like, I'm like. I was like okay, fine, go hang out with the Power Rangers. I was sitting there like whatever. I feel like just like I'm not cool enough.

[Stavros]

They just want to hang out.

[Ryan]

And then Ivan Oo was there. And I remember Bowen being like, yo, like Ivan Oo is here. Like we have to chill. And I was like, like yeah, you're right. And so then I was chilling with Ivan Ooze but I was like. Cuz he was kind of talking me down. Cuz I was feeling I was taking it so personally that everyone would abandon hanging out to go like clout chase with the Power Rangers.

[Stavros]

And I have news for those who don't know is the villain of the original Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie.

[Ryan]

And he's major.

[Stavros]

He's pretty cool.

[Ryan]

He's major.

[Stavros]

What is it they they sell like an ooze as a toy.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

And it poison and like mind controls people or something.

[Ryan]

Purple looks cool ribs. And like Bowen in my dream was being like, you know, this is interesting. He was being like, don't make this about you. How about we go chill?

[Stavros]

Oh, Bone was saying this to you?

[Ryan]

You know what I'm saying? So it's like I think the Dream Stop making about you, dude. Like Ivan, who's is here. Let's obviously chill with him.

[Stavros]

So, okay, your friends abandoned you for the Power Rangers. So then a different one of your friends like them, the Power Rangers, let's go hang out with their enemy.

[Ryan]

No, it was more like everyone from Power Rangers was there. And so people, they like descended upon the hangout.

[Stavros]

Right.

[Ryan]

So like all the power. Rita Repulsa was not there, by the.

[Stavros]

Way, who I was a big fan of.

[Ryan]

I'm sure I did kind of want.

[Stavros]

To Rita Repulsa for some reason.

[Ryan]

And like, so they had like members of. Yeah. I mean, major for sure. Like Princess Leia, like, she's kind of got like a cool. Like she. She looks very like superstar.

[Stavros]

Yeah, absolutely. She's.

[Ryan]

Or something.

[Stavros]

Yes, yes.

[Ryan]

But like everyone in the. It was like, I mean, think about it. If you're hanging out at a fourth of July barbecue, not to date this podcast. And like Power Rangers showed up, you'd be like, yo, I'm gonna like go. Like, I'm. I'm gonna go talk to the green one. But in my. I was taking it so personally and personally that everyone was like dispersing to go talk to the Power Rangers. And Bone was like talking sense into.

[Stavros]

Me being like, dude, okay, so Ivanhoes wasn't.

[Ryan]

He was like a celebrity.

[Stavros]

It wasn't that he was an antagonist of the Power Rangers.

[Ryan]

No, he just.

[Stavros]

He was an extension of the universe.

[Ryan]

And he was like a cele, basically. It was like, the celebrities are here.

[Stavros]

Right. Right.

[Ryan]

And he's like, dude, like this, like the most major.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Figure of all of cinema history is here.

[Stavros]

Like the greatest villain of all time, Ivan, who is.

[Ryan]

And just like the most. Most fabulosity like, superstars here. Like the most fabulous superstars here. Let's go hang out with him. Like, stop taking it personally. So something's happening with me in your head. Yeah, Yeah.

[Stavros]

I mean, clearly this has to do with being on SNL and constantly being around famous people feeling and feeling less than. And you just had to put in the power range. You didn't even. You don't even substitute. It's literally your friend who's also on the show. This is probably a conversation Bowen has had with you about like fucking, you know, Josh Brolin or something. When your friends leave you to talk to the fucking musical guest. Like, this is barely a dream. You just substituted the actual famous people at your job for the Power Rangers.

[Ryan]

Right. But like, in order for my mind to like, understand like, weight of celebrity, because I don't feel the weight of celebrity.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

With like a lot of normal, you know.

[Stavros]

Yeah, sure, whatever.

[Ryan]

When do you feel starstruck? Like what was the most you've ever felt starstruck?

[Stavros]

You know, in the. I mean. I mean we can talk about it now but I was in a movie with Emma Stone and Jesse Clemons and the first. My first day work I met both of them and I'm. And Yorgos Lanthimos directed and I was like this is insane that I'm here. It was. It was like beyond Starship. Because it was like starship would have been if I saw them all on the streets.

[Ryan]

Right.

[Stavros]

But it's like oh, these are my co workers for. That was insane.

[Ryan]

It's amazing.

[Stavros]

So yes. That was nuts. But yeah, that's that.

[Ryan]

But it's like the. To feel like in my dream in order for my mind to feel star struck to you.

[Stavros]

The Power Rangers like I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

[Ryan]

Like which was. Yeah, it's quite.

[Stavros]

Yeah. Interesting, isn't it? I'm. Are you still going to therapy eight times a week or whatever the you're doing. You got to find somebody else else. Man, you barely. You're worse. Every time I talk to you. You've made less progress.

[Eldis]

Tell me more about Ivan News.

[Stavros]

Is there saying the word Ivan ooze.

[Eldis]

Like he was so awesome in that.

[Ryan]

You know what else I told myself why I was like let me think of a fun story to tell. Because I was like I don't want to talk about my words weird clothes and I don't want to talk about always do. It's your fault. You bring it out of me.

[Stavros]

I do.

[Ryan]

Have I been here since David lynch died?

[Stavros]

No. How are you dealing with that? How are you dealing with that?

[Ryan]

Talk to the little watch on my phone. Well, because obvious how I kind. I had an.

[Stavros]

Your therapist that happened. Your therapist just like making. Putting a down payment on a vacation house was like.

[Ryan]

He was. You know what's interesting? I'll never have a nice quality of life because I pay these people so much to not do anything. Literally. He was like would it be beneficial for us today to talk about the passing of David Lynch?

[Stavros]

And you know what I said?

[Ryan]

You know what I said? No.

[Stavros]

Good for you. Thank you. He was like.

[Ryan]

And then of course I never left unless I persisted to do that. Yeah, it just came up because then once you say it.

[Stavros]

Yeah, of course.

[Ryan]

Of course.

[Stavros]

He kept. He kept like dropping. He's like okay, we don't have to talk about it. He just like starts saying, she's like, I was recently, you know, I was in Los Angeles taking a car ride. You know, I drove by Mulholland Drive. And sometimes it's just tough. I feel like I'm on a lost highway. He's just, he's just trying to get you to say.

[Ryan]

I do, I do think about Robert Blake in Lost highway, like basically every day.

[Stavros]

Yeah, that is a cool up character.

[Ryan]

But it's like. Don't you get that? It's like, you know that guy. Yeah, that is a guy. You know, I'm at your house. It's so perfect.

[Stavros]

It is awesome. See? Great.

[Ryan]

Oh, I was going to ask you guys, what's your, your, what's your tour food like? Because you have to have. I'm curious for myself. You have to have tour food. That's not going to betray you.

[Stavros]

Yes.

[Ryan]

So what are your like tour non betrayal foods?

[Stavros]

I mean, canned beans might have been the overall MVP of the whole tour.

[Eldis]

Rice, beans and sardines.

[Stavros]

Rice, beans and sardines. Beans. And I did a lot of. He did a lot more canned fish than me. I did the Costco sous vide steak and so he would probably have canned fish. Canned canned fish and beans. And I would have steak. No, you don't need to cook this stuff.

[Eldis]

Everything is microwavable. Get like the microwavable rice. We got those from like Costco.

[Stavros]

I even got a rice cooker at the end. Yeah, rice cooker. You're. And we had a. We had a little stove top too by the end too. But yeah, the rice. Beans. Rice, beans, sardines. And I would say throw those Costco sous vide steaks in there. Yeah, that was. Those. Those were the MVPs.

[Ryan]

That's good.

[Eldis]

I would kill for that right now. That sounds so good.

[Stavros]

I know, dude. I. I have actually fallen apart. Tour. Tour was keeping my life together.

[Eldis]

I know. I. I even lost weight on tour.

[Stavros]

Me too. We were like. Because we were busy. We were exercising. We were locked the in. Yeah.

[Ryan]

I also get nervous, like before a show and if you're doing a show every night, like the nerves, like shake off.

[Stavros]

Yeah. They dissipate.

[Ryan]

Ten pounds at least. Like you're just like every night and if you have two shows was wait.

[Stavros]

You don't get less nervous. You just, you just stay the same amount of nervous.

[Ryan]

I will be nervous my whole life.

[Stavros]

Wow.

[Ryan]

That's just. I've accepted it. That is what I'm going to be. So I'm like, when I'm on tour, I'm just like, I can't eat in like a two hour window before the show.

[Stavros]

Wow. Afterwards, though.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Mistakes are made.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Here, tour food ready. Wake up. More water than God can. Even more coconut water than.

[Stavros]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Anyone get your electrolyte? Well, because I made the mistake. I was like, oh, electrolytes. I'll just drink Pedialyte every day. Gave myself, like, high blood pressure to like, oh, it's electrolytes. I'm on tour or whatever. And like, you know, when you're. Well, this is why I was flying so much that I was convinced. Convinced that my blood vessels in my eyes were swelling.

[Stavros]

Interesting. You heard of that happening or.

[Ryan]

I could feel it. My across the hall neighbor. Do you know Marianne? She's awesome. Shout out Marianne. She's a brain scientist. So I try.

[Stavros]

Ask me if I know your neighbor.

[Ryan]

You're around.

[Stavros]

I don't know Marianne. No. Sounds cool, though.

[Ryan]

Marianne's a goat. She is a brain scientist. And I try not to abuse the.

[Stavros]

Person, of course, but I'm so.

[Ryan]

I'll kind of casually be like, do the veins in my eyes look like beard to you? But so whatever. I don't do Pedialyte anymore for electrolyte. I do coconut water. Obviously, the writer is. Say it with me. Saltines, black licorice, Diet Coke, period. And that's crazy. Every city, no matter what.

[Stavros]

Saltines, black licorice, Diet Coke joke.

[Ryan]

And the Pedialyte's still on the writer. But I try not to abuse it.

[Stavros]

Sure. Only for when you're really dehydrated or.

[Ryan]

Like really having diarrhea.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Which is happening. Yeah, Obviously.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Sorry to the buffalo helium for what I did to the bathroom. And it is also fun.

[Stavros]

That one's tough because, well, you're just having diarrhea so close to everybody else. It's like the bathroom is right by the green room.

[Ryan]

My poor opener. You want me to catch it? But like, what is your right? Lighter.

[Stavros]

Rotisserie chicken.

[Ryan]

Damn. Damn.

[Stavros]

That's right off the bat.

[Ryan]

Damn.

[Stavros]

Protein bars, Greek yogurts, fruit, veggie plate.

[Ryan]

Hummus plate.

[Stavros]

No, fruit plate, though.

[Ryan]

Cool.

[Stavros]

We're not. We're not really a veggie type of crew.

[Ryan]

No. Totally.

[Stavros]

Hummus, though, is not a bad idea.

[Ryan]

Protein, isn't it?

[Eldis]

Even a veggie tray. A little carrots, broccoli.

[Ryan]

It's not bad.

[Eldis]

Cherry tomatoes wouldn't kill us.

[Stavros]

No, that.

[Ryan]

Cucumbers.

[Stavros]

Nice try. Eldest. Not happening. No. Don't you put up. Hey, what the hell?

[Ryan]

What? He said.

[Stavros]

He said to put up Stav's. Ass.

[Eldis]

A cucumber.

[Ryan]

It was so Rita. Repulsive.

[Stavros]

Slice by slice.

[Ryan]

Cucumber is one of the. Like it bl. Every. Actually every night I go to sleep thinking about like, I hope I have cucumbers tomorrow.

[Stavros]

It's one of the best that's really attainable. Man, you could just have cucumbers.

[Ryan]

It's not like. Like that.

[Stavros]

You could have it in your fridge.

[Ryan]

Like a little one. A little. Oh, a cucumber. Amazing things. Okay.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

This is the. This is tort life. Wake up Water. Coconut water. Starbucks vegan koia non sponsored protein shake.

[Stavros]

Nice.

[Ryan]

And this is what has kept me afloat. The Starbucks English muffin egg sandwiches.

[Stavros]

Those are pretty good. Those are more in a breaky glass in case of emergency thing for us.

[Ryan]

Really.

[Stavros]

The mix.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's like the thing. I put nothing on it. Dry as a desert bone egg patty. Take the meat off.

[Stavros]

Take the meat off.

[Ryan]

Because I'm like, I'm trying. Well, by the way, let's set the record straight for once and for all, okay? Day a sausage breakfast sandwich. Honey, you're eating a burger in the morning. Have fun. That is what it is.

[Stavros]

Nothing wrong with that. A turkey. If you go turkey sausage.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Stavros]

And you want to talk about protein.

[Ryan]

But a morning burger is crazy.

[Stavros]

I could do a morning burger, no problem. You're at the wrong. You're at the wrong show.

[Ryan]

I know. This is me, though. With my burger last night, I could feel my heart couldn't even pump blood to my body correctly.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

What is that? What? What? What is going on?

[Stavros]

Not well, I think partially you were expecting. You probably had a good time and you were punishing yourself for that. I think mentally you had a nice evening with friends, something you don't do. And you had one martini and one burger and your brain couldn't allow you to just have a nice night.

[Ryan]

Totally.

[Stavros]

So it was overreacting to. Yeah. Should. You felt a little worse than usual. Sure. But not. Not what you're describing of one burger and one martini.

[Ryan]

True. But I literally like it because I don't. I don't really drink that much. So like having a martini, it's like.

[Stavros]

No, I'm with you.

[Ryan]

Lock me up inside. Sign away the key or whatever.

[Stavros]

Yeah, lock me up and sign away the key. Exactly. Right. I know. You mean though I don't drink as much anymore. In the couple times I've gotten drunk recently, it had quite the effect.

[Ryan]

Holy. And then you're like, this is poison. I'm poisoning.

[Stavros]

It is fully Poisoned.

[Ryan]

It's po. It's not. Not worth it. I'm so sick of it. Everyone have fun drinking.

[Stavros]

Yeah, go on.

[Ryan]

Have. Have fun drinking. Have fun with your drugs.

[Stavros]

Yep. What else? That. It.

[Ryan]

That.

[Stavros]

The whole sentiment.

[Eldis]

Effing with your breakfast sausage.

[Stavros]

Yeah. You could be someone who's enjoying life as much as Sarah.

[Ryan]

You know what's so funny? We were all kind of like, oh, we shouldn't have a Martin. Yeah. And then we were kind of like, should we be bad?

[Stavros]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

[Ryan]

And we were having fun.

[Stavros]

You were. And that's okay. That's all right. That's what life's about.

[Ryan]

All showed up. And us. We. I showed up wearing a morbid angel shirt. Patty showed up wearing a skinless shirt. Freaka showed up wearing a Cannibal Corp shirt. We were all wearing the exact same outfit. We said, let's get martinis. I blacked out immediately. Swallowed the hamburger hole. No chewing. Said, get the risotto in there. Obviously. Fries were completely eaten. Doesn't even.

[Stavros]

Doesn't even count.

[Ryan]

Had a Diet Coke for dessert.

[Stavros]

Love that. Oh, night. The Diet Coke. Nightcap. Nothing wrong with that.

[Ryan]

When was the last time you went to a restaurant and didn't order a Diet Coke? Seriously, bds, like, seriously divest all that?

[Eldis]

Two nights ago.

[Stavros]

Oh, wait. D. Coke?

[Ryan]

Is I allegedly. Allegedly. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

[Stavros]

Wait, it's what you're like.

[Ryan]

D. Boycott.

[Stavros]

Boycott. Whatever. I just need. I just need diet something. But you're right.

[Ryan]

It's Diet Coke, though. If you're having a burger.

[Stavros]

Yeah. Coke. Zero as well, but same thing.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I know. But think about. When was. When was the last time you went to a restaurant? Didn't have a Diet Coke?

[Stavros]

Very rarely will I not order a dc.

[Ryan]

I don't.

[Stavros]

I'm a big DC head.

[Ryan]

I don't even think. If I look five years, I don't think I've not had a Diet Coke in a restaurant. And I'll try to do the thing where you go like, we'll have four Diet Cokes at the table. And then people go like, wait, whoa, I didn't.

[Eldis]

And then.

[Ryan]

And then they kind of go like.

[Stavros]

Oh, interesting.

[Ryan]

You ever try that?

[Stavros]

I would never. I would never think to order somebody else a Diet Coke. It's not a beer.

[Ryan]

Four Diet Cokes for the table. And then people go, okay, we'll have that.

[Stavros]

It's not like fries. Like, some people might just. Well, Eldis I know is a regular. He. My boy Will have a regular Coke.

[Eldis]

If I, if I really want to Coke with a meal, I'll just get a regular one. I don't like how Diet Coke tastes.

[Stavros]

No, I'm a Diet Coke guy.

[Ryan]

If it's. If it's hot out, a regular Coke.

[Stavros]

Regular Coke is too good. I'm. I'm off. I'm off. Regular sodas.

[Eldis]

I've been getting like seltzers with meals. Like just plain soda water. If I kind of want a little something to break the food down.

[Stavros]

But who the do you think you are, man? You're too good for Diet Coke.

[Ryan]

Hey, hey, you become a self.

[Stavros]

He needs to hear this from me. Like seltzer with a meal guy. No, thanks.

[Ryan]

Are you guys getting dessert every time? Cuz I usually can't get the dessert cuz it's usually dairy crazy.

[Stavros]

It's too decadent. I mean, are we celebrating something then, yes, we're getting a dessert. But no, we're not getting desserts like dayto day.

[Ryan]

I just can't always do dessert. So then it's like, well, then I'll just h. I'll. Diet Coke will be there no matter what to like. At least give me a little sweet.

[Stavros]

I'm with you. I'm definitely a big Diet Coke guy. Die. I'll crush a Diet Coke.

[Sarah Sherman]

A little.

[Stavros]

A little afternoon Diet Coke. Just what the doctor ordered. Well, we could. You know, we're going through a lot of philosophical stuff here about Diet Cokes, about.

[Ryan]

Oh my God. Wait, don't you want to hear the story that I wanted?

[Stavros]

Yeah, yeah, please, go ahead. I thought I did.

[Ryan]

No, I. I thought that you would like this.

[Stavros]

Give me. Hit me with it.

[Ryan]

So. Because I was like, what are we gonna. I don't want to talk about. Therapy was done.

[Stavros]

We've already talked about everything you didn't want to talk about, so you might as well tell the story now.

[Ryan]

I don't want to talk about how the greatest hit asexual.

[Stavros]

You literally are. You literally are. It's up. And you should look into it instead of talking about fire walk with me in therapy.

[Ryan]

I was doing a show in Vancouver. I was thinking about this a lot. Well, so.

[Stavros]

Great city, Vancouver.

[Ryan]

Great. Unbelievable. And I was there like the day after they got dental insurance like a couple of weeks ago. And I was like, you guys are having an amazing time. Universal. Yeah, whatever. But do you get crazy presents?

[Stavros]

I've gotten some.

[Ryan]

Like, what?

[Stavros]

We got a great. I mean, you're looking at two right there, right? And some. Somebody gave us the painting, which we showed off on the show. Go grab the painting, Elvis.

[Ryan]

Oh, when I came in this. That's.

[Stavros]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Well, people probably can't reach you because you're. The stage is, like, secure.

[Stavros]

Yeah, it is kind of.

[Ryan]

People can reach.

[Stavros]

Yeah. Right, right, right.

[Ryan]

And you know when you do a comedy club, and then it's always.

[Stavros]

Shout out. Did we shout them out? Elders, do you have their info?

[Ryan]

Amazing.

[Stavros]

I know, it's so good. They even got the fisheye. The fisheye.

[Ryan]

Do you guys do fisheye on the.

[Stavros]

No, no, it's just our room is so small. Fish eyes. Incredibly well done. I'll just get their info. Let's shout them out.

[Ryan]

Out. They made you guys look, like, effing amazing.

[Stavros]

I mean, that is what we look like.

[Ryan]

And you're like, hey, and you got your Fitbit on.

[Stavros]

My Fitbit. My old favorite jeans that the Bare Bottom Corporation stopped making. They were these awesome stretchy jeans.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Shout out to. Shout out to Ariel.

[Stavros]

Shout out to Ariel.

[Eldis]

She brought that to us in DC. She, like, DM'd me and the Stavi's World show. She, like, showed that painting in progress and was, like, so good. Hey, I'm. I'm coming to the DC show. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I have this.

[Stavros]

Take us to life Ariel.

[Eldis]

Yeah. I told her, if you ever. Yeah, she paid for the D.C. show. She flew out, like, and she. And her foot was broken or some crazy. She was there with her friend.

[Stavros]

I was like, we gotta get her all the merch we have in the store.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I gave her. I gave her, like, a T shirt, but I was like, okay, you're awesome. Next time we're near, you just hit us up.

[Stavros]

Absolutely.

[Eldis]

That painting is sick.

[Stavros]

So what was your insane.

[Ryan]

Awesome. I'm really glad you got that, because I was doing. This was like, a couple years ago, I was doing a show in Vancouver, and it was like one of the venues where the green room for our artist. Green room was like, literally like a little curtain the size of a napkin.

[Stavros]

Just in the corner of the room. I hate that.

[Ryan]

And so they can see what you come out.

[Stavros]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

And so it was after, you know, and I leave it all on the field, of course. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know what? Give me a sec. After your show, because I left it all on the field. I did everything I could for you. Like, so I. I'm, like, huffing and puffing behind my little napkin curtain after a show. And, like, like, you know, whatever. And I hear on the other side of the Curtain. Sarah.

[Stavros]

Oh, no.

[Ryan]

Come out, come out. Present for you. And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna take time for me and respect my space, respect my truth, give myself a second. And I'm like, maybe if I don't respond, he, like, won't. Like, he'll think. Like, he doesn't know that it doesn't.

[Stavros]

Keep going right there could be huge.

[Ryan]

He goes, I can see you in the mirror.

[Stavros]

Oh, no.

[Ryan]

Behind me, there was, like, the wall was a mirro. And I look in the mirror, and he's popped out of the curtain. Just his head.

[Stavros]

Oh, no.

[Ryan]

I see you. I see you. I To give you my present. And it was a noose with a pumpkin on it with exos for eyes. So I'm glad. I'm glad you guys get these. Oh, put this up at the Lou. Beautiful, beautiful painting of you guys looking so flattering and gorgeous. And she did the service of not having your balls come out the pant leg. You know, she made you have dainty little gorgeous feet.

[Stavros]

That's what my feet look like. She's a very talented painter. So noose. And the pumpkin had killed itself.

[Ryan]

It was like a pumpkin with eggs of her eyes.

[Stavros]

Like, nice. And I'm sure you hung out with that guy for a while afterwards.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I'll tell you off camera. It gets really crazy, but I'll tell you off camera.

[Stavros]

Okay. Please do.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

Well, it's time to bring some of your trademark knowledge. Is one of the most the person who's been to therapy, the most maybe, that we've had on this show to help out our. Our loyal listeners, which speaks very lowly.

[Ryan]

Of who you have on the show.

[Stavros]

Right. Right. That's the problem.

[Ryan]

Not me. Not me. Bowen, in my dream was saying I'm not the problem. Love you. Bowen.

[Stavros]

Go ahead. Yeah, bom. We'd love to have you. We can talk about Ivan news. Go ahead. Eldis.

[Sarah Sherman]

Bubba Wallace here from 2311 Racing.

[Ryan]

Funny thing about being fast.

[Stavros]

You end up waiting a lot.

[Ryan]

First to show up, first in line, then just waiting.

[Stavros]

Me, I rev up. Jumbo casino with over 200 social casino games. No slow lanes here.

[Eldis]

Why sit around when you can spin? I'm already racing.

[Stavros]

Your turn play for [e-mail]. let's Chumba.

[Sarah Sherman]

Sponsored by Champa Casino. No purchase necessary VGW Group voidware prohibited.

[Ryan]

By law 21 + terms and conditions apply. Hey, stop.

[Sarah Sherman]

What's up, Eldis? Got a fun situation here for you. So started dating this girl. Beautiful, beautiful girl. Super excited about her. We connect in every way. She does do only fans. That's her full time thing, respect. She makes a ton of money from it. I mean, I do really well and she, you know, probably another O on what I make.

[Stavros]

That's cool.

[Sarah Sherman]

But she's super down to earth. Doesn't want to do it forever, wants kids, wants a family, wants to kind of put all that behind her in the future. And I think that's super cool. It's obviously what I want. I don't mind her doing this whatsoever. She doesn't, you know, work with partners or anything like that. So in my head, pretty, pretty harmless.

[Stavros]

I'm with you.

[Sarah Sherman]

I don't worry about really any of those kind of long term repercussions in, in any way aside from how to tell my family. You know, we've been dating for about a month and it's going a month and so we're kind of getting now of, you know, what's that gonna look like? And you know, do we tell them before they meet her, do we tell them after so that they kind of get to know her and really like her and then it's easier to break the news. I mean, these are. My parents are amazing and awesome and pretty, pretty progressive for, you know, old white folks from the Midwest, but still, you know, like kind of your standard non denominational Christians. They're great though. I don't think it'll be a problem long term, but. But I just am not sure how to break the news to them or win I guess. So kind of want your help if there's any fun ways to do it. Anyway, yeah, take the question and run with it. But thanks guys. I'll see you in Austin in October, I think. Thank you.

[Ryan]

Were you at my shows in Austin? Didn't see any gorgeous only fans baddies there.

[Stavros]

This is interesting. I guess my question is like, why do you need to tell your parents?

[Ryan]

They also might not know what only fans is, so it doesn't matter.

[Stavros]

I mean, I guess the question is like, let's say you're having dinner or whatever and like. So Emily, what do you do?

[Ryan]

I'm an Internet video creator.

[Stavros]

Yeah, I'm a content creator. I'm a twitch streamer. Like is there something you could like that's like tangential that you can lie about because who cares? I really don't think this is a big deal. Do your parents need to know that? She does. Only fans.

[Ryan]

Your parents need to know anything about your life at all.

[Stavros]

I know what you mean.

[Eldis]

I do feel like Is he putting the cart before the horse if they've only been dating for like, a month?

[Stavros]

That's huge. Yeah.

[Eldis]

You know, I. I get it. I get his, like, concern, like, and it sounds like he couldn't. He can see it getting, like, pretty serious or whatever, but it's like, come on, man, a month, Like, I'm with you.

[Ryan]

You know, maybe he's like, having all these anxieties and neuroses about future problems in the relationship because he wants it to, like, work out. It's like, you know when you, like, create problems that aren't, like, there.

[Stavros]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

But it's like, maybe you should just be worried about whether or not she even wants to chill with you or something of.

[Stavros]

I mean, a month to be thinking about meeting parents. Just lunacy, in my opinion.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

Like, when. What do you think is a reasonable time to even start worrying about this? Six months.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Stavros]

And even then, it's like, even then, it's like, it could be long. Like, I could date someone a year before they meet my parents.

[Eldis]

I think, Sarah. That's a good point, Sarah, because it's like, you know, the way he's even talking about it. The therapy's working, but it's like, you know, the way he's talking about it sounds like, so conditional. He's like, yeah, she doesn't want to do it forever. One day she won't be doing it even though she's making a ton of money. So it's like, you know, are you that comfortable with it or.

[Stavros]

He doesn't sound that comfortable.

[Eldis]

Yeah, it's like, do you have a sort of deadline that.

[Ryan]

Or the gentleman doth protest too much.

[Stavros]

There's a little bit of that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

And I'm with him too. It's like, if. If someone's doing solo only fans, it's like, like she's a. She might as well work at a bank as far as I'm concerned.

[Ryan]

Right.

[Stavros]

You know what I mean?

[Ryan]

Like, it's like, oh, so she's a substitute teacher.

[Stavros]

Exactly. It's like, if no one. If she's not fucking other people on camera, I don't give a fuck at all. You know what I mean?

[Ryan]

It's like I basically do that.

[Stavros]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For real. Like being in the entertainment, like just being regular an actor is worse than doing solo only fans.

[Ryan]

I actually believe that you're probably on porno websites. Clips of you.

[Stavros]

You think I'm on? I don't think so. I think you are. I think freaks have cut together some of Your.

[Ryan]

Let's open my wiki feed after. I'm curious.

[Stavros]

I would love to.

[Ryan]

I think he's creating problems that aren't there yet.

[Stavros]

Yeah, I guess. Like, your weight. It's a month. You're a month in, which means how many dates have you even been on? And, like, is he a little like. You're right. He doesn't sound that com. He's like, she doesn't want to do it forever. He clearly has been like. Like, oh, okay, so it's not something you want to do forever, right? Like, that's. She's like, no, no. You know, and. And even though, like, I do well and she makes another. Throw another zero on whatever, I make. You do seem a little worried about it, both from an emasculation standpoint and from a. Like, you're not that comfortable with it.

[Ryan]

I'm so curious. Because he's like, she's hot. I'm rich. Like, I'm like, so what's the problem?

[Stavros]

And there's no problem other than some theoretical conversation with his parents, which. A month in. What the Are we even talking about? Like I said, I think six. For me, six months is the earliest I would ever consider someone meeting my family. And even that could be early, but, you know, who knows?

[Ryan]

And maybe your dad will high five you. Like crazy.

[Stavros]

Yeah. For real. Maybe you gotta be, like, nice.

[Eldis]

His dad subscribed already.

[Stavros]

Yeah, that is true. Your dad could see your girlfriend's, which is not chill.

[Ryan]

Right?

[Stavros]

But you know, she's rich and hot and you like her. And so I would say.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

This just seems so way too early to be worried about this, I guess. Let's say this was a. Let's say you've been dating a year. I mean, do you even need to tell your fucking parents legitimately? Like, if I was in your position, I would not. I would tell my mom that she's a fucking actress or something. You know what I mean?

[Ryan]

Like, see, you're. You know.

[Stavros]

Sorry.

[Ryan]

What's interesting. Erasing my own narrative. What's interesting is that you also are not telling your parents the truth.

[Stavros]

I don't feel the need to, though.

[Ryan]

Right.

[Stavros]

I don't give a. About my parents knowing the truth. I just want to get through a dinner without a problem.

[Ryan]

Right, right, right, right. But no, that's always the goal is to get through a dinner without a problem.

[Stavros]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which maybe this guy actually wants his parents to fully accept, but, like, who cares? I don't know. Like, again, in fact, this might be him being, like, he's laundering. He wants someone else to have a problem with it. So he can be like, well, I can't date her. Instead of admitting that he has the problem, he's like, how do I tell him I'm gonna tell my parents exactly what she is? And then, and then I guess we'll see what happens then. And that way he can clear his conscience. Whereas, like. Because he's not really comfortable with it. Because if, if you actually give a fuck and your goal is like, hey, I want to be with this girl long term. Like. Like if you were dating someone who was stripping, right, and she didn't want to do it forever, would you tell your parents she's a stripper? Would you say she's in school right now? You know what I mean? Like, if you actually just want your parents to like her, let her get to know her. And if you think your parents might have a problem with it and she wants to. And she wants to give up on this sometime in the future anyway way. And you see this as a long term thing. Your parents can find out when, when she settles on the career she wants after this. You know what I mean? Like, you don't need to tell them, bro.

[Ryan]

Or this is like a major cope and he can tell that she's just not that into him. So he's already like building the case for like, why?

[Stavros]

Well, my parents wouldn't have accepted it a month. It is crazy to think about what you're going to tell your parents though. There's something else going on here. So I guess our actual advice is.

[Ryan]

Is stop talking to your parents.

[Stavros]

Chill the out. Yeah. Stop worrying about what you're gonna tell your parents at a Caraba's macaroni grill in seven months or whatever the. And just enjoy this relationship. And odds are you might blow it before then with a hot woman who's. Who's rich.

[Ryan]

Stop talking to your parents.

[Stavros]

Amen.

[Ryan]

What is this? Before I start.

[Stavros]

It's a gun. You can fire it.

[Ryan]

What is this?

[Stavros]

This here.

[Ryan]

Kind of.

[Eldis]

That's kind of cool.

[Stavros]

It is cool.

[Ryan]

Next question.

[Stavros]

Next question. Elders.

[Eldis]

Sarah, put that can on the ground, will you?

[Stavros]

Oh, okay, yeah.

[Ryan]

What?

[Eldis]

Put the can on the ground.

[Stavros]

The gun on the ground. It's your favorite time of the episode. Holy. What the hell? Oh, it's the twisted ass question of the week. Sponsored by Twisted D. Holy. What twisted ass question do you have for us, eldest?

[Ryan]

This is crazy.

[Stavros]

Keep it twisted.

[Ryan]

We're gonna be paying you so, so much it's insane.

[Stavros]

Why? It's a wonderful beverage with 5% alcohol by volume that goes down smooth.

[Ryan]

Bleep this out.

[Stavros]

Drinking twisted tea is good for you. Make it say drinking twisted tea is good for you, eldest.

[Eldis]

We will, don't worry.

[Ryan]

Twisted Ing my words.

[Stavros]

Go ahead, play the twisted. That ass mother ass. Question of the week, eldest.

[Sarah Sherman]

Hey, Stavros, I think I got a weird one for you. I'm just curious what you think. So I've been happily married for five years. Been with my wife for over seven and a half. Neither one of us follow any exes or in communication with any of them. However, I have this one ex who still follows me on Instagram and she was the one who broke up with me. Kind of broke my heart long, long time ago. So my wife definitely hates her and I'm all for that. So she still follows me on Instagram and she watches almost all my stories.

[Ryan]

Why you looking?

[Sarah Sherman]

Sometimes even likes them. And it got really weird because last summer my wife and I went to see Taylor Swift in Liverpool and my ex accidentally liked one of my wife's posts from the show. And then like a half hour unlike liked it. So we found that very strange. And when we looked into it a little bit, we found out that she was not only watching all my stories and like accidentally liking my ex stories from her own bachelorette party, which was in Disney World, by the way, which I didn't even know she was a Disney adult when we dated, so that's a little embarrassing for me. But anyway, it is actually. I know I should probably just block her and just end this thing. But here's the thing. I think my wife kind of gets. Gets a kick out of it. Like, although we've never talked about it, every time my ex watches one of my stories, my wife and I end up having incredible sex. Like, not that it's bad, but like the dial is definitely turned up to 11.

[Stavros]

Holy.

[Sarah Sherman]

On days my ex watches one of my stories.

[Stavros]

Interesting.

[Sarah Sherman]

So now I'm a little torn. Like, do I just block her and end this nonsense or, you know, just let this weird little dynamic keep playing out. Let me know what you think.

[Ryan]

I think it's cool.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Stop looking at who's watching her stories, by the way. Hey, get off the phone.

[Stavros]

Get off the phone, go outside, crack open a delicious twisted tea, start living. Keep it twisted.

[Ryan]

I like I'm. When I'm on the computer, I'm looking at. Sometimes let people look at. She's gonna look.

[Stavros]

Well, I mean, there is funny. It is interesting that his wife has. She's clearly getting off on him being desired by an ex.

[Ryan]

Cool.

[Stavros]

And it's making her horny, so doesn't sound like you want to get with this Disney adult. I don't really see any reason to. The only thing I could think of is kind of how eldest won't take dick pills or take Pepto. Right? This is a performance enhancing drug. Hating your ex. And eventually this well will run dry. And now will your wife be able to fucking. Will she even be able to get that puss wetted up without hatred?

[Ryan]

Right.

[Stavros]

You know, that's the only thing I'm saying. You're playing with a little fire here. Like, next thing you notice, your wife develops some kind of weird cuck fetish, you know, which could be cool if it means you get to other women, but maybe you're not into that, right? Like, there is something. I'm just saying, it's just a little. I do think the cleanest thing is block this woman and just move on with your life or just stop talking about it or whatever. Or hide her from all your stories. You don't even have to block her. That would give her some satisfaction.

[Ryan]

She'll find a way.

[Stavros]

She might find a way. But you know that my issue is just that at some point, the novelty will be gone. And then where. And if you're relying on this for the way to have good sex, you're playing with fire. Because it's. It's really just, like, low. Yeah, there's just some. There's some low level, like, cuckoldry hot wifing, some weird going on here that could be cool. But it also is just a. It's a new element here that you're. That you're introducing into your sex life that I would be a little worried about.

[Ryan]

I also think he's. He's obsessed with the ex. He's like, well, she actually broke up with me, by the way. And like, he's looking, like, why are you looking? Who's watching the crap? And you guys are like, like keeping this, you know, itemized list of every. You're. You're being too vigilant about what she's doing on the computer. So I don't think you're being necessarily honest about how into it. You kind of are, too.

[Stavros]

Yes, that's.

[Eldis]

That's the one big question for me. The way he's talking about, it's like, what are you doing? Like, seeing it and like, oh, honey, look who liked my story again. Like, you know, is your wife all up in your looking at, like, your story?

[Stavros]

Views like, is that your.

[Eldis]

Are you bringing it up every time like, like there is something a little.

[Stavros]

And you can, this can become a really load bearing thing in your relationship where like thinking about an ex can be like the one time you guys are bonding over something. Like we've seen the, like there's, there's toxic couples who. The only time they're happy is when they're on someone else. And their actual, their act, whatever actually made them be a couple starts to erode over time and it's filled in with, with hate being haters in, in a up way.

[Ryan]

Right.

[Stavros]

And I'm not saying that's exactly what's going on here, but there's some weird thing here that I think, look, you're better off. Get out of there. You don't, you don't. You're not equipped to find out. Do you want to know the root of why you have 11 out of 10 sex every time you bring up an ex? Do you really want to dig and excavate that? Do you really want to see what's underneath there? I don't think you do, dude.

[Ryan]

Also, maybe she's looking at your all the time because she's making fun of you.

[Stavros]

That's a possibility.

[Ryan]

Like, maybe she's like, look at this fugly girlfriend he has and she accidentally likes it. And she's showing all of her. And it got accidentally liked cuz she was like, look at this fugly. And then she's showing all their friends and she's like. And everyone's like, ha, let me see. She's passing the phone around. Someone accidentally likes it. It could be like, like you don't know.

[Stavros]

Sure. But. And that's what I'm saying is like don't. This doesn't need any further investigation. You don't want to dig deeper on either side of it. You got a couple cool nights of sex out of it. But you can't start to depend on this. It's gone on too long already.

[Ryan]

Right?

[Stavros]

You gotta block her and move on. Because there's just, it's just not just a little up. Any way you slice.

[Ryan]

It's that crazy sound I'm hearing.

[Stavros]

I think it's the bidet cleaning itself.

[Eldis]

One detail I really love. He's like, yeah, she's a Disney adult. Kind of embarrassing to say. Meanwhile he's like across the pond at a Taylor Swift concert. It's like, is that really so much.

[Stavros]

Worse than like being on a T. Swift show?

[Ryan]

She's being like, I can't believe I dated A Taylor Swift at all. This is why we shouldn't, like, remember when someone would be out of your life and they would disappear.

[Stavros]

Absolutely. And that's how it should be.

[Ryan]

And then you think about them. You're like, what happened to Michael?

[Stavros]

Yeah. You don't see. You don't. You don't see them get, like, gains seven pounds every year until they die and then see them hugging. Goofy. You don't need that, man. Move on. Move on.

[Ryan]

Get off the phone.

[Stavros]

And you know what? If you and your wife really want to have a nice evening, just kick back with a couple delicious twisted teas. And don't forget to keep it twisted.

[Ryan]

If you guys want 11 out of 10 sex, light a couple candles, open up porn.

[Stavros]

Porn tubes, can of twisted tea in your.

[Ryan]

Have a nice night. Keep it twisted.

[Stavros]

Try keep it real twisted. Whoa, dude. We're exiting the twisted T zone.

[Ryan]

Oh, my God. Shaking my damn. Keep it twisted. Have some dignity.

[Stavros]

What are you talking about? I love twisted tea.

[Ryan]

It better be like a mill a year. It better be, too.

[Stavros]

Next question. Keep it to twisted. I ho. That would actually be devastating. Don't say that.

[Ryan]

You're welcome.

[Eldis]

We'll bleep that.

[Ryan]

So hungry. I can't be held accountable for what I'm saying. I'm hungry. Hello, my beautiful king. So shut up. I was wondering. So when I'm dating, whenever I am acting, you know, normal, chill, sweet, just, like, basically not playing games and being a normal person, I feel like that's, like, when guys get disinterested or when they, like, get it in their head that I'm just, like, fucking obsessed with them. Which is hilarious, given the guys that I've been seeing.

[Eldis]

But.

[Ryan]

Whenever I start acting, like, super distant and kind of toxic and, like, her, you know, kind of start, like, around with them and just, like, you know, instead of communicating, kind of of, I don't know, just playing the games, that's when they're like, yeah, this is my girl. She's the one. Like, they start to get really interested. That's when they're super excited. That's when they want to see me all the time. So, like, what should I do? Do you guys like to be with a little bit? And should I just kind of of, I don't know, play these stupid games that I hate playing? Or do you think that there's someone who has a normal brain who's been to therapy out there who.

[Stavros]

Well, you know, that doesn't mean you.

[Sarah Sherman]

Have a normal brain normally.

[Ryan]

Anyways, any advice would be appreciated once Again. Love you, my beautiful king. Stop saying that about him. I think it's like she's like, oh, I'm acting like a creepy, crazy B word. And it's like, well, if you're acting like a crazy B word, maybe you are a crazy B word. Like, just be like, maybe that is you being yourself.

[Stavros]

I mean, look, I know what she's talking about. I do feel like it. It feels like if you're like. But if you're, like, kind of mean to people or you're like, sort of. You withhold, you know, you're like, hot and cold. It will. Certain people will react to that in a way that's like, oh, I need to like.

[Ryan]

Like you're attracting people you don't want.

[Stavros]

But that's exactly it. That's exactly it. It's like you're attracting people that if that's what they respond to, that's not who. Maybe they'll feel that way. And this is coming from a person who's. Who that has worked on in the past.

[Ryan]

Oh.

[Stavros]

Where I'm like, I have to have her. And then the second you get that person, you're like, what the.

[Ryan]

This sucks.

[Stavros]

Right? Like, all that. That's all fake. That all initial, like, tricking someone into liking you, that will go away. And you don't want to have the relationship that starts that way because it's. You're starting it on up rickety ground. And it's harder for that to. To. To like, actually, you know, turn into something meaningful long term, so.

[Ryan]

Haven't you ever heard of catching flies with honey?

[Stavros]

Yeah. Yeah. And do guys like. I think. I mean, personally, I would much prefer someone to be straightforward with me. I think. You know what? Now would I have that initial, like, damn, I have to. I have to see this girl. Whatever. I don't know if it's the same thing, but that's way more. That's not sustainable. That, like, feeling of, I. I'll do whatever it takes to get this girl. Because, like, once that happens, you're like, I didn't want to do that. That was. You know what I mean?

[Ryan]

It's like the people you're gonna attract are gonna be so chaotic and crazy and you're gonna be dealing what you still. It's like the. The mommy, daddy issues are gonna be off the chain.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

It's like anyone that much chaos has got some. Is going to be hauling some baggage.

[Stavros]

Yeah. For sure.

[Ryan]

Baggage.

[Stavros]

For sure.

[Eldis]

I do think people need to, like, reframe when they're like, oh, I hate playing games when dating. I just like to be open and honest, like, off the jump. Like, you know, when you start dating someone, there always is a level of, like, playing games in a way. Like, you're just following certain, you know, mating rituals or whatever. Like, you know, the same way you don't want to, like, attract someone by being too, like, withholding. Like, you also don't want to be, like, way too upfront with someone who you don't really know he's just been on, like, a few dates with. So it's like, yeah, that's just like a normal thing. Like, you know, sure, wait, you know, wait a few hours to respond to a guy's text that you went on, like, one or two dates with or whatever.

[Ryan]

Like, don't listen.

[Eldis]

There's a certain, like, level where you, like, do just have to, like, do that.

[Ryan]

I think.

[Stavros]

I think. I do think you're right in that you should keep some kind of, like. Yes, there's like a. It's like a series of interviews. Look at the first few dates as a series of interviews before you really, you know, open up fully and are really completely who you are. You don't have to do that at the first, you know, time you get a happy hour drink or whatever. And I do think you'll also get to know each other a little more. More, and you'll get to, you know, you'll start to communicate a little. You'll figure out what your rhythms of communication are, whatever. But, yeah, I wouldn't come on too strong at first either. You do have to withhold a little bit of yourself. No, not in a way that's, like, to trick them. You what? You went on, like, one day 15 years ago, and you've been. You're married, essentially.

[Ryan]

I said, hello, my name's Sarah. My stomach hurts. I'm tired. I love you. You're beautiful. I'm ordering the sesame chicken. We're all getting Diet Coke.

[Stavros]

You've literally just been in one relationship, right?

[Ryan]

Like, for the past. I can't even say how many years, because then people will realize I'm not 18. But I did, by the way, I did get him to date me because I went, you. We're dating. And he was like, like, okay, yeah.

[Stavros]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

I. But I get that.

[Stavros]

That's like, you know, that was the first date. You did that on the first date?

[Ryan]

No, I begged him to date me. And he was like, okay, I have a girlfriend. And I was like, okay, I'll keep my eye out for You.

[Stavros]

Interesting. Interesting. She sort of just marked him as. And then once they broke out, I.

[Ryan]

Put the blow dart in the.

[Stavros]

You tagged him and let him back into the wild.

[Ryan]

And I said, you have put an.

[Stavros]

Aura ring on him.

[Ryan]

You can come back. You will.

[Stavros]

This was what, a decade ago?

[Ryan]

I can't even. How old do I look?

[Stavros]

You've already said you were 30. What did you say? 32. 34. 4, you said. You just said the number.

[Eldis]

All right, probably just Google it.

[Ryan]

No, we've been dating over a decade.

[Stavros]

Wow.

[Ryan]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Stavros]

It's right there. It's right there. It's right there, bro.

[Ryan]

What is that?

[Stavros]

That's a tough picture to be your number one picture. That sucks even for you. That's a bad picture.

[Ryan]

Oh my God. Oh my God. Wait, wait, wait.

[Stavros]

And then the third one, this is.

[Ryan]

That was. Do you know how outside the. The helium Philly, there's like paparazzi because they think like, it's like they don't care. They think it's gonna be like Shane.

[Stavros]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

And then they got me. I'm holding a hoagie.

[Stavros]

Yeah. I mean, you look horrible in that picture.

[Ryan]

That's great.

[Stavros]

I do. No, X. Go to the other page and X out of it. Elders. No, no, no. Idiot. Yes. X out of that.

[Ryan]

Terrible.

[Stavros]

The third picture is literally one we were joking about where it's like they just have. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Sarah Normal.

[Stavros]

Sarah Normal.

[Ryan]

Sarasexual.

[Stavros]

Sara.

[Ryan]

Too small. You can't even see it. That it does.

[Stavros]

You know what?

[Ryan]

It doesn't even look that good to me.

[Stavros]

No, that one doesn't. Because it's, you know, with a wig.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

Anyway, that's a good. That's an actual good picture of you though too. Do you want to. What's the other one's the one above it? I don't.

[Ryan]

I'm looking quite ghostly and pale. Oh, oh. Ooh. Two pear shaped. Two pear shape. Fat, fat picture.

[Stavros]

Are you out of your mind? We didn't need that zoom Eldis. I guess.

[Ryan]

Never.

[Stavros]

I take it it back from a foreign skin picture looks nice.

[Ryan]

You know what's funny?

[Stavros]

It is this thing two car shaped is crazy, by the way.

[Ryan]

That's right. I don't. That looks.

[Stavros]

You weigh like 72 pounds.

[Ryan]

Thank you. Thank you. The. The, the like cuz you, you know, for, you know, you have to do these like red carpet photos sometimes. And this is where they don't tell you. People like train how they look like.

[Stavros]

Right.

[Ryan]

Like I'm just. I was like.

[Stavros]

No, you see video People. And they're like, yes. And they just have, like, a way they do it. It looks so up. But then if you're just a regular person, the pictures, they look amazing. But regular person's like, I'm sure this was a nice smile in person.

[Ryan]

I was like, it was the New.

[Stavros]

Year's Eve, Miley's New Year's Eve party.

[Ryan]

I was happy because I got to go to Miami for a job, and I'm smiling, I'm happy, and apparently that looks insane. Well, you better get your red carpet poses ready. Stop.

[Stavros]

I guess that's true.

[Ryan]

You better.

[Stavros]

You got to learn how to do that.

[Ryan]

Come on, let. Let's see it. Not get.

[Stavros]

I'm going be smizing. All right, what else we got? Elders.

[Ryan]

You laughing at?

[Stavros]

That picture's so tough.

[Ryan]

I have a hoagie.

[Stavros]

The hoagies. What kind of hoagie want?

[Ryan]

Vegan. Vegan that.

[Stavros]

Keep going. Elders.

[Ryan]

It's got, like, cannellini beans and broccoli. Rob, there's this place in Philly. It's under a bridge. It's. Every time I go to Philly, I get a vegan.

[Stavros]

Get a damn haggy.

[Ryan]

Get a haggy.

[Stavros]

Vegan's crazy. You can't get a vegan hooky.

[Ryan]

What am I supposed to do, dude? What do you want?

[Stavros]

Meat with no cheese. I didn't even. You didn't even consider that?

[Ryan]

You know what stuff? You're not all bad and stupid, you.

[Stavros]

Know, Even the beans with some meat sounds good. Anyway.

[Ryan]

Play that big, fat cannellini bean.

[Stavros]

I like those.

[Sarah Sherman]

I got a tough one for you.

[Stavros]

Okay.

[Sarah Sherman]

38, been married 13 years, couple kids. Couple months ago, my wife's acting a little suspect with her phone, so I start to monitor text messages and come to the realization that she has been having an affair. A co worker for hers caught me off guard, totally devastated. So I started divorce proceedings. And, you know, over the past couple weeks, I've softened a little bit. I love her very much. I think she made a mistake. But I'm laying down some conditions of what she needs to do to make this work, work and relax. Who are the conditions I laid out where I get a hall pass and we have a threesome?

[Stavros]

Those were not.

[Sarah Sherman]

Well.

[Stavros]

Dude, hold on, man.

[Ryan]

He's talking to.

[Stavros]

I know you're keeping it too twisted, dude.

[Ryan]

Can you scrub back, like, two seconds? Because the tone of his voice is, like, sending a chill up my spine.

[Sarah Sherman]

And we have a threesome. Those were not well received. Received, especially the hall pass. And I've kind of Backpedaled on that. I don't want to hurt her. Do the same thing that she did to me. I don't want to make her feel that way. But I feel like the threesome is still justified. Like, I think this would help me get some power back in the relationship. Help kind of heal my masculinity after going through all this. So I guess my question for you is, am I justified pride in asking for this? And how can I help her understand that this would be a healing. Healing from my perspective.

[Stavros]

Shut the up.

[Ryan]

It's not gonna heal your masculinity when you have a third party witness to see that you're bad at sex.

[Stavros]

Yeah, I know. She's gonna be reluctantly, this girl with you, the vibes are gonna be so off, dude.

[Eldis]

He's like, I'll forgive you if I can cream pie another girl while I donkey punch you in the back of the head. We're square.

[Stavros]

Also, it's so funny. He's like. He's so. He's like, well, that wasn't very well received. Like, he's. He got cucked, and he's now somehow barged himself into a position of weakness. He over he. You had all the cards, and now she's like, no. Like, you made her be like, you.

[Ryan]

Grossed her out, dude.

[Stavros]

So look, man, look, there's no taking anything back. There's no nothing. There's. There is, like. And look, I've. I haven't dealt with this, but I've definitely gotten to the point in my life where I haven't dealt with this.

[Ryan]

I would never be cheated on.

[Stavros]

I mean, I just haven't been in a relationship long enough. There's been. There's been girls who have hurt my feelings, but they weren't my girlfriend. I think, like, if when you do. And, like, I don't know, the older I get, the more I do realize, like, yes, people do make mistakes. I used to think it was crazy when people would, like, let, you know, stay together after somebody cheated. But you grow up and you realize that's not everything. People can make mistakes. Whatever. Now, if you're still gonna feel less than if you don't get to another woman and your wife isn't gonna let you, which, by the way, you ask for, somebody cheats on you, like, all right, well, I get to somebody else. Else. That's not that crazy to me. If I'm being completely honest. That's really not an insane thing to ask for. I don't know why you think the three. I think if Anything. The hall pass is more justified than the three. So the threesome is weird because now you're bringing her into this like up little game of sexual tit for tat that you're trying to play here.

[Ryan]

A forced threesome, Like a vengeful threesome threesome.

[Stavros]

So are you even gonna have a good time? She's just like, well, who would have.

[Ryan]

A good time in a situation like that? It's against Christ. It's disgusting.

[Stavros]

No, it's pretty private. It's pretty cool.

[Ryan]

It's private.

[Stavros]

It's pretty cool to a hot girl. And a different hot girl is looking at it. That's pretty cool.

[Ryan]

It's. I don't know, I don't like your own of what happens on a tour bus.

[Stavros]

Did nothing happen on the tour bus? I'm a gentleman and stayed in the hotel rooms.

[Ryan]

No, but I the. If you listen to the tone of his voice, he's like very angry. And it's like I understand that there is something too erotic about like angry revenge sex. But like forceful, angry, reluctant revenge sex is. So what do you think is gonna happen?

[Stavros]

Well also the thing here is like dude, you just haven't had time to process this at all. Like he went right? He found out. He was immediately hurt. He went to we're getting a divorce. Then he realized maybe I don't want to.

[Ryan]

And well, cuz he's leveraging it well. But.

[Stavros]

But that's. I don't think. I just think he's out of control. I think he needed to land on what he actually wanted. He went from you get the out to like maybe we should a girl together. That'll help. You know what I mean? Like he's just vacillating back and forth to you don't even know what you want. And now you kind of up because you're trying. You started. You started the negotiations. When you're not ready to actually think about what you want. I don't think you even know what you want. If you really search your feelings. Do you think this will heal a threesome will heal your masculinity. And then by the way, is begging your wife who just another guy to a girl with you? That's a masculine thing to do to you being like, please, please, please, please, please can I get pussy with you?

[Ryan]

You.

[Stavros]

That's masculine to you?

[Ryan]

People are like so messed up.

[Stavros]

I mean look at the other day, he got cucked. That's tough. I'm on his side and what you need, but you just need to be honest with what you want? I don't think it's crazy to be like, I should. You should get a hall pass, by the way. Who are you even gonna. What are you, some kind of Romeo? Has there been some girl that's trying to you and who's this person you're gonna have a threesome with?

[Ryan]

Well, hall pass past kind of to me signals that that person doesn't exist yet. Oh, like call past like your dream.

[Stavros]

It's like you're allowed one in the one possible in the future kind of thing.

[Ryan]

I thought it was like aspirational.

[Eldis]

I don't think he means it like that. I think he just means like, yeah, you can get a nut off, you can with someone else. Yeah.

[Stavros]

Which by the way, I don't think is crazy.

[Ryan]

No. But I don't think he kind of.

[Stavros]

Gave her a hall back ass. And I don't think it's healthy. But in terms of if we're talking about pure negotiations, it's not insane to be like, hey, you someone. I'm willing to let this go, but if this comes up for me, you have to let it go for me.

[Ryan]

But I wonder if she had a bad taste in her mouth because it was also a threesome.

[Stavros]

Yeah, you might have over asked you over. You overextended yourself, man. You were in an ultimate position of power and you somehow, somehow over asked and got to agree. And then, yeah, you got clearly folded immediately. Yeah, he still could have been like, whatever, okay, then you. I'm. Let's. We should separate. And who knows? But that's part of the problem. The way these negotiations have gone, clearly your life is gone. You're not in control.

[Eldis]

He went to wrathful way too fast.

[Stavros]

He went to raffle without having the ability to do it.

[Eldis]

He's like the Andy from Toy Story. Like frying ants under the magnifying glass of like.

[Stavros]

Of like revenge. He just does. But he doesn't have it in him. He didn't stick with. With it.

[Ryan]

Maybe there's a reason that she cheated. Because he's kind of. He seems kind of scary.

[Stavros]

You think he's scared? I think he's actually too much of a pushover is what it sound like. Sounds like to me. And I think what you're. What you're hearing, what you're picking up on is the fact that he's still not over this.

[Ryan]

Right.

[Stavros]

He still feels very hurt. And now he's just. He is in like the. He wants there to be a. A solution. Cuz really, he's still sad that his beautiful marriage has been taken from him.

[Ryan]

You know what is actually striking fear within my heart? It's like him angrily blaming his cheating wife for his, like, wounded masculinity. And then the wounded masculinity thing as, like, he's still the only way he can get his masculinity back instead of, like, going to the gym or, like, getting a hot dog is, like, like, somehow still tied to other people. You know what I'm saying?

[Eldis]

I disagree. I think when he said that he sounds like a dick, he makes it very hard to sympathize with him, which is challenging for, like, a man who's just been cucked. But I think, like, that was a little.

[Stavros]

He's overcompensating.

[Eldis]

I think that was, like, a little glimmer of truth, though, because, like, you know, it sounds kind of vengeful, but, like, the fact that he could actually, like, articulate that. Yes, it is ultimately like he wants revenge because his masculinity has been wounded.

[Stavros]

You hurt me, I need to hurt you.

[Eldis]

Yeah. The fact that he can actually say that is like, that. That made me think, like, okay, at least he's not, like, you know, at least he's not just, like, crazed in his head or, like, just thinking about this threesome, but can, like, put some logic to, like, why he's p. Pushing out these, like, crazy terms.

[Ryan]

Wow. Yeah.

[Eldis]

I think he, like, needs to, like. I mean, you know, a start is like. Like, exploring that and talking about that with her and maybe a couple's therapists or some. Before you even talk about some revenge. Revenge sex.

[Stavros]

I just think it's.

[Ryan]

Well, it must be so hard what you guys go through with this masculinity.

[Stavros]

This wouldn't be hard for me. I would just be, like, hit the bricks bit. No, I would just cheat back, actually. I would just. Honestly, what I would do is pretend nothing was wrong and then just cheat this viciously for the rest of my life. Life. And that wouldn't be good either.

[Ryan]

It works for many people.

[Stavros]

Yeah, it really does.

[Ryan]

I. I heard. I mean, who knows? Haven't you heard that, like, statistic that it's like one in every two people cheat? It's like, that many.

[Stavros]

It is insane.

[Ryan]

Is that true?

[Stavros]

I don't know. I think it's.

[Ryan]

People don't have too much time.

[Stavros]

I think over the course of time, maybe people might just, like, you know, randomly. So I think it is possible. Possible. But I was thinking a lot of relationships aren't good. You know what I mean? Like, so many of Them are just bad. And what does that mean? You cheat once? Are you counted in that statistic forever? Is it like one out of every relationship someone has cheated on one on every two? Or is it like if somebody cheats on someone like you know, in their 20s, does that. Are they marked for life? You know what I'm saying?

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's like she cheated. Whatever, it's fine, get over it.

[Stavros]

I mean, if they, the I, I don't know. I mean for this guy, I think.

[Eldis]

The way he should think about is like talk. You know, they need to like talk to each other a lot first and he needs to like decide. You can't, you can't like ring, ring like a hall pass from her hands. You need her to come with it to you out of guilt after you've done a lot of emotional discussion and then it's a little different. You know what I mean?

[Stavros]

Yes. I don't know. You know what?

[Ryan]

Be funny too. Like, like to find out like, okay, your partner just cheated on you and then immediately they're like, okay, then I get to like this person. And if they already had someone in the back of their mind, like kind of stored away.

[Stavros]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Being like, you know what I mean? I'd be interested like oh yeah person the whole time that you were kind of right. Storing back there.

[Stavros]

But you, but you've already cheated, so you have. No, it is funny. Cuz then the person who cheated can't even be mad.

[Ryan]

Mad, right.

[Stavros]

That they've had someone that they've wanted to but not acted on it the whole time. But I don't know, I just think he's out of control. He doesn't even know what he wants. That's really my read on the situation is that he's so, he's like so wounded. He can't, he doesn't know what he wants. Like he hasn't even thought through the threesome. He asked for a hall pass and was rebuffed and immediately folded like he sounds like dehydrated.

[Ryan]

Honestly.

[Stavros]

Probably he's probably go. I mean he's going through it. He just got cheated on. And by the way, how can you trust your partner? Like that's the hard thing. You have so much more to worry about than you getting like, do you even, do you trust her? Like, can you trust this person? You have to build that back up. And I do, but I do still at the same time think if he thinks getting would help him. He got cucked. He got cucked. He kind of, he, she does Owe him one. And I know it's stupid to think of it that way, but it's like sometimes people are stupid. Man. Man. And that might be what it takes to set it. To set it straight in addition to talking everything out. Whatever. Whatever.

[Eldis]

I guess, I guess the problem with that is like, I don't know, you don't wanna. It's like if you're gonna forgive her for cheating, you have to forgive her.

[Stavros]

Yes.

[Eldis]

You can make it conditional on like getting, you know. And it's like, that's amazing. It's like you're. And it's like, you know, he's asking for it cuz he wants to like twist a knife in her or whatever, which I know is crazy. He got cheated on. Whatever. But it's like, what if she came to you and was like, you could just get a hall pass and then we're square. Would that make you feel good if, like, it was her idea, she came to you with it? Like, would you even want to do it then? Or are you just being like, spiteful, like, asking for it?

[Stavros]

Let me ask you this. Even if he's being spiteful, but it would make him feel like it would set things right. Maybe he is the kind of idiot. Idiot who's like, you hurt me, I should get to hurt you. And it just goes back to normal. Now. Will that relationship work? Probably not. Odds are it's doomed anyway. Like, let's be honest here. It's like once somebody cheats, some people can get over it, but yeah, usually they get over it because, like, of other factors. Because they're like, we've built a life together, whatever. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I think it would be.

[Ryan]

Weird if she was just like, yes, like kind of of on blinkingly. You know what I mean?

[Stavros]

I don't think it'd be weird. You cheat. She cheated on him. Like, that's the. At the end of the day.

[Ryan]

Well, maybe she cheated on him with like, John Ham.

[Stavros]

It's a coworker, she works at Apple.

[Ryan]

Tv.

[Stavros]

So it's tough. It is.

[Eldis]

It just feels like eye for an eye for me. It's like, you have to.

[Stavros]

I know what you mean. But what then? What's the. What's the other. What's the other solution?

[Eldis]

I know, that's the hard part.

[Stavros]

True forgiveness.

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Stavros]

I'm not capable of that. Is he capable of that?

[Eldis]

I don't know. I just don't know if, like, if he got the hall pass and used it, he would feel better.

[Stavros]

He might not. But only One way to find out.

[Eldis]

That's true.

[Stavros]

Yeah, I mean, look, I know.

[Ryan]

I. I.

[Stavros]

Ultimately, they should probably be separated from a little bit.

[Ryan]

Yeah, there's two kids. Stop.

[Stavros]

Two kids? Yeah, they got to figure it out. You're right. But he. He has to figure out what he actually wants. I think.

[Ryan]

You know what this is, breeder?

[Stavros]

You're straight breeders.

[Ryan]

I'm not going to pop out little mutant gremlins out of my perfect hole.

[Stavros]

No kids for you.

[Ryan]

Gross. Can you imagine me pregnant? My stomach hurts. My back hurts. I'm hungry.

[Stavros]

Your kids come out like the. Like, alien. Just xenomorph. Okay, well, good luck. I don't know if we even answered his question, but whatever, fuck him.

[Ryan]

I'm hungry.

[Stavros]

Yeah, I'm kind of hungry, too. I could get something to eat. I could definitely get something.

[Ryan]

I can never convince you guys to eat with me after.

[Stavros]

We can get something. Yeah.

[Sarah Sherman]

What's up, Sty? What's up, Eldis? All right, I just snitched super hard on a snitch, and I'm a little nervous about it. Ah, that thing is actually 91 1, going saying, hey, thanks for reporting to us. God damn it. Probably didn't hear it. Anyway, so there's this homeless guy who lives at my. My park. He, like, lives in his car and he's got a dog. And I let him live with me for two weeks because it's summer and I live in. Okay, well, I shouldn't say that. I've already given too much info. I'm a snitch. Anyway, the point is, I let this guy stay with me. Turns out he's crazy. Like, not fun crazy, like scary. I've got a lot of guns, and I'll kill a crazy. So I kicked him out now. Anyway, I thought, you know, I'd never see him again. He's back at the park, and tonight I called the cops and snitched on him. And I'm not sure if I did the right thing. I didn't snitch on him for being homeless. I snitched on him for having a load of guns. And basically, you know, he wants to kill a cop. And, you know, I. I'm sorry. I'm all manic. I just. I don't know, man. You know, Did I do the right thing?

[Ryan]

You know?

[Stavros]

First of all, stop. He doesn't care. He wants to kill a cop. You're just scared, so let's not. You're Mr. Blue Lives, Matt. You're. You were a guy that let a homeless guy live with you two weeks ago. Now you're back. Now you're Mr. Back the Blue. You're just scared. Let's start there.

[Eldis]

Who knows? Considering where he's from, maybe he does care.

[Stavros]

That is true. He. He respects the police.

[Sarah Sherman]

I'm all manic. I just. I don't know, man. I. Did I do the right thing? Am I being stupid? Is this guy gonna come and find me? Or am I right to not worry about, you know, some guy who lives in his car tracking me down and getting vengeance for snitching on him? I mean, I assume I did the right thing. The guy specifically, the reason I stitched on him is because he was gonna get arrested sooner than later. Like, he's obviously got warrants. He told me he had two last names. And I'm like, well, which one one is it?

[Stavros]

It's insane you let this person live in your house.

[Sarah Sherman]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

Stop.

[Sarah Sherman]

Did I do the right thing? Tell me, Elvis, tell me guests. Am I a snitch in a bad way or did I do the right thing? I probably haven't given you too much info or haven't given you enough. This is probably. Anyway, I'm gonna go. I'm out of time.

[Ryan]

Not to go all DSA on your ass, but I wish I could go back in time and give you some literature about de Escalation tactics that you could call mental health services. Yeah, but I wonder if they have how readily available that is. But that could have happened before he lived.

[Stavros]

No, no, here's the thing. The moment you decide you're going to be chair, Mr. Charity, that's the weird thing, man, is like.

[Ryan]

Look, I kind of respect it though.

[Stavros]

It's. That's way he skipped so many steps.

[Ryan]

I. He did skip so many steps. And he was.

[Stavros]

If you find a guy that you know, right. You find a guy who's homeless around your neighborhood, and you. And you strike up a, you know, relationship with him, whatever, and you. And clearly you're the kind of person who does want to go out of their way to help them. What you said makes so much more sense. Like, can we get him some. Into some programs? Can we get him into some help with like a pro, you know, something.

[Ryan]

But I will. The prop. Okay, Woke is back. I'm gonna say it. The problem in the. In our country is that it's not readily available information. So I appreciate. Maybe he doesn't know about like intervention preventionist, like mental health service. You know, it's so. I appreciate that before he called the. He wanted to help. He didn't know how, so he let the guy sleep in his house. And that kind of stuff happens when you don't have access to things that, like, we know about in lib tarted Brooklyn.

[Stavros]

Sure, sure.

[Ryan]

You know what I mean? So it's like, I get it. And I just feel like. But so bad for this guy.

[Stavros]

I do feel bad for him because, like, look, he was trying to do a good thing. The problem is, is you just don't know this guy at all. Like, it's not even that you got to know him. It was like, yeah, like. Like, obviously, homeless is a big problem. That doesn't mean you could just let a stranger, Whether they have a house or they don't sleep at your house. Like, that's just. To me, that's a wild move. Right?

[Eldis]

I feel like you just watch Pay it Forward when they bring Jim Cavel.

[Stavros]

Home and let him shower and shave. Now you're getting all freaked out. Whatever. Like, are you kicked him out of your house. Did you do the right thing? I mean, we're past morality here. This is about, like, did you feel like you were in actual danger, or did you just see him again? You're like, time to call the cops.

[Ryan]

Sounded like he had a Mandalay Bay arsenal.

[Stavros]

Yeah, where. Where even are these guns? Guns?

[Eldis]

I know he.

[Stavros]

You.

[Eldis]

I think he. I think the caller sounds like kind of like a worry wart little. Because it's like, yeah, maybe he has a car. Did you see any guns in the car? Or is this guy just crazy? He's like, yeah, I have two names, and I have a lot of guns.

[Stavros]

I'm gonna kill some cops. It's like, okay.

[Eldis]

It's like, he's probably just, like, kind of a crazy. Yeah, I don't even want to say crazy. Mentally unhealthy, like, homeless, this guy. And, you know, and just take him back to the park. He's probably not gonna, like, Cape Fear your ass, like, looking at.

[Stavros]

Through your window.

[Eldis]

And, like, I don't think you need to worry about that.

[Ryan]

Scared himself because he brought him into his house without having any boundary or whatever.

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And so now he's, like, scaring himself. We're like, no one's gonna hurt you.

[Stavros]

Yeah, I don't think so. I mean, ironically, maybe calling the cops might start the cake. Fear. If you just let him go, you probably would. Would be. Now he's like, who called the cops on me? Like, what if this guy knocks on your door? He's like, somebody called the cops on me. Are you A good enough actor to pretend that wasn't you by calling the cops. He probably won't. I don't know.

[Ryan]

Do the cops.

[Stavros]

The cops won't tell you who snitched.

[Ryan]

I don't. I mean, they don't. Well, you. You. You don't think they're gonna be. They. That's like putting too much faith in a bunch of, like, dumb cops, though.

[Stavros]

Well, yeah. What did they even do to him, though? That's my other question is, like, what did you snitch on him for having guns?

[Ryan]

Homelessness. Seriously.

[Eldis]

It's like they just release him from booking.

[Stavros]

Exactly. Like, what did he even do?

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavros]

So this is a weird situation. We heard you let him sleep in your house. Right. Kind of crazy.

[Ryan]

I get.

[Eldis]

I get his worry a little bit.

[Stavros]

Because it's like, yeah, of course I get the worry.

[Eldis]

Did this. It's, like, scary when this guy is fully out of your site and you don't know when or if he's gonna pop up.

[Stavros]

Yeah. And he knows where you live.

[Eldis]

You need, like, six to 12 months of complete no contact, no safe guy to just, like, feel a little bit at ease.

[Stavros]

It's like how even I had bedbugs when I first moved here. I sublet a place, and for three years afterwards, I'd be like, Like, I'm sorry. That's just what's going to happen to you. You're going to be looking over your shoulder for the next three years. Years. And that's the roll the dice where you let any stranger, homeless or not. If you let any stranger into your house for two weeks and they turn out to be weird and violent, you're gonna be worried about that until you move. Or it's been, like, years later.

[Ryan]

But maybe they, like, struck up a friendship.

[Stavros]

It's possible. Yeah.

[Ryan]

And so he was like. And then he was like, oh, like, you're my boy. Come up with me.

[Stavros]

I still think there are steps before living.

[Ryan]

I know. He definitely put his where his mouth is also.

[Stavros]

Yeah, he did.

[Ryan]

Everyone out there being like, I'm going to change the world. Put your money where your mouth is.

[Stavros]

Sure.

[Ryan]

Open up your house.

[Stavros]

I would say again, see if you can get some support services first.

[Ryan]

Open up your house.

[Eldis]

Take.

[Stavros]

Go, give. Maybe open up your car and drive them somewhere.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Well, maybe he did that.

[Stavros]

Maybe he did. We don't know. We don't know.

[Ryan]

Quite interesting. This is a quite interesting phone call. It's better than, like, my wife is a.

[Stavros]

Yeah, dude. I don't know. I mean. Now, the funny thing Is all he's asking us is for absolution. Which we cannot give you.

[Ryan]

Stop.

[Stavros]

This guy might get in jail. I don't know what to tell you.

[Ryan]

You're my king. What? Please.

[Stavros]

But yeah, man, just good luck. I don't know what the to tell you.

[Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Stavros]

That is nuts.

[Ryan]

Hello, it is Ryan. And I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbac casino.com.

[Stavros]

I looked over the person sitting next.

[Ryan]

To me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of.

[Stavros]

Casino style games that you can play.

[Ryan]

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[Stavros]

You got something fun for us little eldest?

[Sarah Sherman]

Hey stuff. Hey eldest. Hey guest. Long time listener, first time caller. Kind of had a funny question to weigh in on. I'm from an area, there's a decent amount of Albanians here. I'm an Irish American. One day I showed up, I was looking a little pink. Get sunburn easy. And the Albanian, he was very adamant and swore that if I cover myself in Greek yogurt and then go to sleep the next day I'll feel like amazing. Like great. It's like it's better than aloe. It's better than whatever after sun treatment you can buy. So my question is, is this legit? I know you know a lot about the. The Greek yogurt element, Eldest. You might know this trick or is this sort of a multi centuries old prank the Greeks have have done to the Albanians and convince them that to buy their. Convince them to buy their product for. For sunburns. So yeah, I just want to see if you had any. Any wisdom or knowledge regarding this. Thanks man.

[Ryan]

I feel like you got.

[Stavros]

I've never heard of this, have you?

[Eldis]

I have never heard of it. I could see it working in the water.

[Ryan]

You want to try it?

[Eldis]

I can imagine that if you get sunburned real bad. Yogurt, I could see yogurt feeling really good.

[Stavros]

Look it up. Yogurt treatment for sunburn.

[Ryan]

The nice. You know, get off the screen. How about we just critically think for a second?

[Stavros]

Yes, yogurt can be a soothing remedy for sunburn, apparently.

[Ryan]

And peanut butter gets gum out of.

[Stavros]

Your Hair go down. Does it? How. How much gum have you got in your hair? Get out of the AI mode, man. This sucks.

[Ryan]

Yes, serious. You are a lib. Tardish.

[Stavros]

Is yogurt good for a sunburn? Go there. Go. Yeah.

[Ryan]

All right.

[Stavros]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I.

[Eldis]

This isn't Greek or Albanian, but I have heard, like, sometimes if a woman gets a yeast infection, like, to put yogurt in her, and that's supposed to.

[Stavros]

Help balance the pH.

[Ryan]

And what if you're lactose intolerant? Ever seen a puke before?

[Stavros]

That's a great question. Can you put it in your. Will that make you. I think you'd probably be fine.

[Ryan]

You ever. Out of your.

[Stavros]

You did your did.

[Eldis]

Like my grandma, when I sprained my ankle, I didn't have health insurance, so I had a retreat home to Baltimore for four months and just kind of stopped working at my job at the time, indefinitely. And, yeah, my grandma would grind up garlic, onions, and salt in a mortar and pestle with olive oil.

[Stavros]

She was marinating Eldis's ankle, and she.

[Eldis]

Would, like, rub my ankle with it and, like, put on a cold compress of, like, this garlic, onion mush. And I don't know, maybe it was placebo, but I do feel like it did help a little.

[Ryan]

You stank.

[Stavros]

I've seen people cut onions. I've never heard the mortal and pestle with salt is crazy.

[Eldis]

She made a paste out of it and then put it on, like, a wet, cold rag and put that on my foot, and she was just.

[Ryan]

Your stinky, stinky foot?

[Stavros]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And she was like, leave that there. And I was like, okay. And I think it did help a little. It felt like.

[Stavros]

I've seen people wrap their foot in onions overnight. Yeah, that's what for.

[Ryan]

What for?

[Stavros]

For just to help swelling and stuff.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I just spit to help, I think. What do you want from me?

[Stavros]

I think it's for, you know, what's it called? Called inflammation. Drink a Diet Coke, have a dc. Nothing wrong with that. Okay. Yeah, man, I think it might work. Slather yourself up in some yogurt for. You know.

[Ryan]

That was a good call, too. Could have Googled it. Doing a lot of emotional labor for people who don't want to Google and just want to talk to some.

[Stavros]

That's what we're here for, man. We're here to help everyone. Our beautiful guests, our beautiful friends, our guests. I think every time. You're a much healthier person when you come here.

[Ryan]

I'm starving.

[Stavros]

What do you want to eat? What kind of cuisine are you interested?

[Ryan]

I like that place that you the.

[Stavros]

I send you last time.

[Ryan]

Like Middle Eastern.

[Stavros]

Oh yes, that place is pretty good. All right. Maybe we'll get some Middle Eastern food. Well, that does it for us folks. We will talk to you next time. Bye Bye.

[Ryan]

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[Stavros]

Come to papa. Welcome bonus.

[Ryan]

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[Sarah Sherman]

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