#140 - Mike Mitchell

Summary

Stavvy's World Podcast - Episode #140: Mike Mitchell

Release Date: August 4, 2025

In Episode #140 of Stavvy's World, host Stavros Halkias welcomes comedian, actor, and fellow podcaster Mike Mitchell for an engaging and candid conversation that delves deep into personal experiences, career insights, and the challenges of adulthood. This episode offers a blend of humor, heartfelt stories, and relatable discussions, making it a must-listen even for those unfamiliar with the podcast.

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Introduction and Shared Background

The episode kicks off with Stavros introducing Mike Mitchell, highlighting their shared backgrounds in podcasting and acting. Both hosts express mutual admiration for each other's work, setting a friendly and open tone for the conversation.

Stavros Halkias (01:37):
"Mike is the man. You're a great podcaster. Like most podcasters. It's a huge bailout."

Mike Mitchell (01:42):
"Yes."

Navigating the Intersection of Podcasting and Acting

Stav and Mike discuss the complexities of balancing podcasting with acting careers. They touch upon the stereotypes and misunderstandings surrounding podcasters and actors, emphasizing their diverse experiences in the entertainment industry.

Stavros Halkias (02:00):
"You have an actual acting career. You've been in some good stuff. You're a good actor."

Mike Mitchell (02:04):
"That's kind of you to say you're a good actor. So, I mean, I like having the label of podcasters does suck. It's brutal for you."

Personal Struggles with Weight and Health

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the challenges of maintaining weight and health, especially amidst demanding careers. Both hosts share their personal battles with weight gain, sleep apnea, and the social stigma attached to being overweight.

Stavros Halkias (06:32):
"So I was about to go on a three-month tour earlier this year and I had been losing a little weight on my own and I was like, fuck it, let me like get, you know, and I didn't have a doctor at the time..."

Mike Mitchell (04:27):
"He was right. Made us all live tards. It lived us all out."

Reflections on High School and Early Adulthood

Both Stavros and Mike delve into their high school experiences, discussing issues like acne, social anxiety, and early relationships. They reminisce about their attempts to connect with peers and the awkward moments that shaped their teenage years.

Stavros Halkias (17:07):
"And then I go on her thing. I see like just pictures of her with a different guy and I'm like. And then I just like am tearing up and be like, ha ha, me neither."

Mike Mitchell (11:10):
"You know, it's funny. I was like a beautiful blonde little boy."

Career Choices and Parental Expectations

The discussion shifts to their career paths, highlighting the tension between pursuing passions like comedy and meeting parental expectations. Mike shares his journey from computer science to entertainment, while Stavros reflects on his decision to embrace stand-up comedy despite familial pressures.

Mike Mitchell (50:11):
"I mean, I went into computer science because I like, liked AOL. They wrote code on the board and I was like..."

Stavros Halkias (56:25):
"But it's interesting because I never, as a guy I think me and my dad are weirdly, in a. In a up way."

Building Relationships and Overcoming Social Challenges

The hosts openly discuss their struggles with forming and maintaining romantic relationships, especially in the context of their weight and public personas. They explore themes of self-acceptance, societal expectations, and the journey towards self-confidence.

Stavros Halkias (35:19):
"You like, I'm trying to have a good time, obviously, and I like hanging out. Don't get me wrong."

Mike Mitchell (35:28):
"Yeah. I'm happy if I see everyone."

Listener Calls and Advice Segments

The latter part of the episode features interactive segments where listeners call in with personal dilemmas, seeking advice from Stavros and Mike.

Balancing Professionalism and Personal Boundaries

One caller, a 24-year-old bartender, shares her predicament of managing a customer who wants to marry her. Stavros and Mike provide thoughtful guidance on maintaining professional boundaries while addressing the complexities of such relationships.

Caller (74:05):
"So what do I do? Do I contact the airline or do I just like go just."

Stavros Halkias (95:28):
"But I don't know, dude. At the end of the day I don't know that it's that necessary."

Dealing with Social Media Interactions with Future In-Laws

Another listener seeks advice on handling a future father-in-law's persistent comments on social media. Stavros and Mike emphasize the importance of communication and setting boundaries through one's partner.

Caller (99:20):
"So my fiance's dad just got an Instagram and I wouldn't have added him if it weren't for the fact that he brought it up on the phone."

Stavros Halkias (101:11):
"But I think ultimately this is harmless."

Handling Harassment from Teens at the Gym

A third caller expresses frustration over being bullied by teenagers at the gym. The hosts discuss strategies for de-escalation, maintaining composure, and deciding when to seek assistance.

Caller (116:00):
"How do I get these little shits back, bro."

Stavros Halkias (124:58):
"You just can't. There's not. Nothing good comes from putting snitch energy."

Final Reflections and Closing Remarks

In the closing segments, Stavros and Mike reflect on societal issues like inequality, the impact of capitalism, and the future of entertainment. They express hopes for an indie revolution in filmmaking and lament the challenges faced by creatives in the current landscape.

Stavros Halkias (94:05):
"I really don't have empathy for the super rich because they are ruining people's lives for ego reasons or because they've..."

Mike Mitchell (96:50):
"Yeah, but you're right, it is too. It's. It's a sad on either end. It's like..."

The episode concludes with light-hearted banter and a tease for future content, maintaining the camaraderie that defines Stavvy's World.

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Key Takeaways:

• Personal Growth: Both hosts emphasize the importance of self-acceptance and overcoming societal pressures related to weight and career choices.

• Navigating Relationships: Open discussions on balancing professional roles with personal relationships provide listeners with relatable insights.

• Listener Engagement: Interactive segments offer practical advice on everyday challenges, fostering a sense of community among listeners.

• Societal Commentary: Reflections on broader issues like inequality and the entertainment industry's landscape offer depth beyond personal anecdotes.

Notable Quotes:

• Stavros Halkias (06:32):
  "Every time I go on tour, I just gain 20 pounds minimum."

• Mike Mitchell (17:07):
  "We were making out, like, in a little cove that I knew about, and it was an office nobody used."

• Stavros Halkias (35:19):
  "You have to decide. We're going to try and destroy the other fat guys."

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This episode of Stavvy's World showcases the authentic and humorous dynamic between Stavros Halkias and Mike Mitchell, offering listeners a blend of laughter, empathy, and thoughtful discourse on life's myriad challenges.

Transcript

[Stavros Halkias]

Hey, gang, we got an awesome episode coming up with Mike Mitchell. First, wanted to let you know, in case you don't, I'm coming to London September 6th and 7th. I think the 6th is sold out. We added the 7th coming to Dublin. That's almost sold out. And then Manchester, September 13th. Want to see you there. And then stateside come November, we're coming to Memphis on the 6th of November. Huntsville, Alabama, the 7th, Chattanooga the 8th, Knoxville, the 9th, Asheville, North Carolina, the 10th, Greensboro, the 12th, Wilmington, 14th, 15th, Myrtle Beach. We're getting nasty with it November 16th. And then Austin, Texas, and Boston, Massachusetts. Austin on the 22nd, Boston the 13th. Three shows have sold out. In Boston, we've added a fourth. And Austin, we have one sold out. We're halfway through the second one, so buy your tickets now. They're going fast, folks. Now, without further ado, let's get Mike Mitchell in here. Welcome, everybody. To stop his world. 904-800-stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. All right, well, there you go. Fade it out. You. Jesus Christ. I want to mock eldest, but you're not doing me any favors when the guest producers doing worse than he usually does, man. And Elvis is that piece of. By the way, everyone, let's just get that on record. He is on his first of three vacations this summer. So I have decided. You know what? I don't need Eldis. We're coming to Los Angeles. I'm Hollywood Halkus. I'm going to get some Hollywood heavy hitters on the pod, starting with my boy Mike. Twisted Metal Zone, Mike Mitchell.

[Mike Mitchell]

What's up? I cover the heavy part of that. I don't know if I'm a hitter, but I am heavy.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know you're the man. Mike is a. You're a great. I mean, it's funny that. Yeah. I mean, we're both a podcast bro. Of course, you might many know you from Doughboys, but also a great. A podcaster. Like most podcasters. It's a huge bailout.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. You have an actual acting career. You've been in some good stuff. You're a good actor.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's kind of you to say you're a good actor. So, I mean, I like having the label of podcasters does suck. It's brutal for you. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because you have been. You were. You've been acting for a while and you've been in good stuff. You know, you were in love. You're in like. You're in like Tomorrow war. You've been some real projects.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yes, people. Me too.

[Mike Mitchell]

I've been a lot of fake stuff too, as I'm sure you have.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, of course.

[Mike Mitchell]

A lot of. You know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Mike Mitchell]

But things no one will ever see.

[Stavros Halkias]

No one will ever see. But. But yes, it's the same thing where it's like podcast or will be. Whether we like it or not. It's going to be the thing that leads the. Is it obituary? Yeah, the obituary that's coming sooner.

[Mike Mitchell]

I was going to say our tombstones, which are being chiseled.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah, Dud. The. I was gonna say the New York Times, but it's like. It's like the Vulture comedy section. Like, you know how they have like Queen. They had Queen Elizabeth's obituary ready to go. They have ours at any moment.

[Mike Mitchell]

They're like.

[Stavros Halkias]

They have fat podcasters, obituaries ready to go. They just need to put the dates that it happens.

[Mike Mitchell]

My end memoriam is at the Del Close marathon or some shit. It's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, they're gonna do my in memoriam at the Magoobies Joke House New Comedian of the Year 2026 contest. They're gon a slideshow while they tabulate the votes for which open mic or gets to, you know, open for Eddie Griffin. And that's the. That was the prize I won when I was new comedian.

[Mike Mitchell]

Did you really? 2012. Who gets open for Eddie Griffin? How did that go? Was it like.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was insane. I mean, he's awesome. He's. He was on some. You know what?

[Mike Mitchell]

He. He seems. He seems cra. Like. Like his.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fully insane.

[Mike Mitchell]

Fully insane. Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And he was talking about. I have to give him credit because he was talking about vaccine conspiracy theories.

[Mike Mitchell]

Wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

This was 2013.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And he was talking. He was very anti Obama. He was like. He was like. He thought Obama was actually gonna be the president that gave us the vaccine that we didn't wanna take. So when the. When the COVID came around, he was close. He was close. When Covid came around, I was watching a lot of Eddie's YouTube because I needed to see how he was gonna respond. And like, he was pumped about it and you got, you know, he was talking about it was going to make a. He thought it was going to make us zombies, though. That was his whole thing, in a way. He's.

[Mike Mitchell]

He was right.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's right. Made us all live tards. It lived us all out.

[Mike Mitchell]

As you know, I have. I have like a. I have like long co. Or I got sick a year and a half ago and I. And I have. I've I've read so many long Covid things. It's like, try like methylene blue. And I'm like, maybe.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. People say that it completely your brain up, right? That it just like kind of gives you like.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. I mean like people are like, like if you take it too long, you can turn blue.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was like, I've seen that shit.

[Mike Mitchell]

That turns you blue.

[Stavros Halkias]

Methylene blue comes up every once in a while. Some guy was take. It was like some part of a doomsday like preppers were talking about, right? And now they're blue forever. There's, there's like videos of those guys or picture those guys. It's very funny. They straight up look like Smurfs, but.

[Mike Mitchell]

In Hollywood can be good. Like, I also, I'm on a GLP1 and then, and, and I started. I like, I went from not medicated, just fully medicated in the last two months and now I just do have like a, a thing in the middle of my palm.

[Stavros Halkias]

The mark of the beast.

[Mike Mitchell]

You have a stigmata.

[Stavros Halkias]

Jesus is trying to get all the woke medicine out of your veins, dude. He's trying to get, he's trying to get the vaccine out of you. Every night when you go to sleep, Jesus weeps and he tries to suck out the vaccine from your bloodstream like it's a rattlesnake bite.

[Mike Mitchell]

Gravy coming out of both hands.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's hilarious, dude. Yeah, I, I, the, the older I get, the more I'm like, yeah, load me up with medicine. I don't want to die.

[Mike Mitchell]

That was that when I talked to my doctor and I was like, everyone is like, I've asked my doctor for like, for, you know, like OIC or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

And my doctor two years in a row was like, you should take it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Was on his knees, he's like, please get on. He's crying, dude. That I have the same thing where I, when I, I decided to fucking, I was like, all right, if I go on tour and I lose and I gain weight again, I'll die. Because basically what happened to me is every time I go on tour, I just gain £20 minimum.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so I was about to go on a three month tour this earlier in this year and I had been losing a little weight on my own and I was like, fuck it, let me like get, you know, and I didn't have a doctor at the time, so I had to get like just a guy.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That you pay like, probably similar, you know, probably similar to like the guy mulaney's describing this special, like, you know what I mean? Like, he never made me. He never made me get shirtless. But, like, it is a guy that feels a little like, if you have enough money, I'll get you whatever you want.

[Mike Mitchell]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

So I didn't.

[Mike Mitchell]

If they found you dead, he would, like, go to court. Of course. Of course. Of course.

[Stavros Halkias]

He would be wearing probably a hilarious outfit. You know what I mean? Like, he wouldn't. He doesn't own a regular suit, but.

[Mike Mitchell]

So he would.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just gave me whatever I wanted. And. But everyone had prepared me for the insurance company being like, look, they're just not. Insurance companies won't. And, dude, I've never had an insurance company have a swifter approval of anything.

[Mike Mitchell]

Really.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're like, oh, yeah, get in there. They were like, we. You need this.

[Mike Mitchell]

So that was borderline diabetic. And they still were like, no, no, I'm on, like, Anthem. I'm on the Sag. Are you on. Are you on.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, no. I'm on some other shit.

[Mike Mitchell]

And they were. And they. They denied it, and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really?

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. So, wow. I pay out of pocket, which sucks.

[Stavros Halkias]

You feel like the actor ones, it's like, that's the ones that, you know.

[Mike Mitchell]

Which is funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hollywood. The Hollywood ones, they only the elite. Only the. The elite ghetto center. If you're just a working actor podcaster, you know, you have to pay out of pocket. Dude, that's where your patreon's going to Mike's fucking. It is that bound?

[Mike Mitchell]

It is. You're saying, I guess saving my life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

I mean, we had an fat guy bond, you and I.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course. Of course.

[Mike Mitchell]

We're on. We're on a fat guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

There is. We are in a fat guy text chain.

[Mike Mitchell]

We won't out the other fat.

[Stavros Halkias]

We won't. We won't. But it is. We are trying to start an elite fat guy cabal in Hollywood, you know, because together, I think, yeah, we have to decide. We're going to try and I think we should try and destroy the other fat guys.

[Mike Mitchell]

The four of us or the other two ons.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, the ones that. The four.

[Mike Mitchell]

Okay. Yeah, the ones on our chain.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, we need to start taking them down one by one. You know what I mean?

[Mike Mitchell]

That's. That. That is. I mean, this is the funny thing, I'm sure that you know this too, where I'm like, do I, like, want to take this drug that will, like, make me lose weight and then like. Like, I like being big and I like food. Like, those are the two things I like. And then it's like, will I not get cast as like, like, will I. Will I just like, be out of work or like, you're done.

[Stavros Halkias]

Weird. Not fat guy.

[Mike Mitchell]

You're just. I'm an ugly man now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, dude. I know. I don't. People tell me. I guess it's just this is the like, delusion of what makes you think you can work in show business anyway. I really don't give a fuck. We've also had this discussion where it's like, I could lose a lot of weight and still be fat.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, it's like, I don't. I can still be Hollywood fat. You know what I mean? Like, worst case scenario. You know what I mean? I would need a lot. I need to lose weight to get to the point Brendan Fraser got to. To play the whale. You know what I mean? I could lose weight and get to the point that a reg actor gets to. To play fat. Like, that's me after two more years of hard work is like, what a non fat actor. What they. When they gain weight for? Like Stallone in Copland. Oh, yeah, that's my dream physique.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh, 100. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

He looks.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's like when I was like 22 years old. I wish I looked like Stallone and Copland.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which he like famously. For you guys who don't know, famously put. That was like his play at winning an Oscar, I guess, because he was like, gained a bunch of weight. And I think the movie didn't do that well at the time. But it's a banger movie.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's awesome. I love. I fucking love that movie.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's such a great, great movie. You guys should check out.

[Mike Mitchell]

He blew it. The big De Niro.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, dude, the De Niro.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, you blew it.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's incredible. It's one of the. To me, it's one of like De Niro's like, line reads right up there with. Not a little bit. You disrespect him a little bit. You know what I mean? Like, those two stand out so much. And of course I have nipples. Greg, can you milk me? It's kind of in that big three of. Of De Niro line reads.

[Mike Mitchell]

That was also like now, now, now De Niro is like nearly a comedian. I feel like every movie he's done for like the last five years has been comedy, which makes. Which bums me out. But also like you're saying we're like. I mean, if you combined us right now, we are 600.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, dude, we're so fed.

[Mike Mitchell]

We're putting this. This. This coat is. The couch is being put to a test.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's tough. It's tough. Absolutely.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But, yeah, I don't know, dude. I mean, there is. The other thing is I could lose weight. I'll still have my fat identity. I have a breakfast burrito stain on these new shorts that's pissing me off. Were you a stain kid? Were you that kind of fat guy?

[Mike Mitchell]

You know, it's funny. I was like. I was like a beautiful blonde little boy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, no. How? Until what? Like, how old are we talking?

[Mike Mitchell]

Right around, like. Like, fifth grade. Middle school. Like, when I got to middle school, I actually genuinely remember in middle school, like, being at a dance and then, like, three or four different girls asked me to dance. I was like, this is pretty fucking awesome. And I, like, Like, didn't know what to do. And then, like, within that year, like, I like. You know, like, when in, like, cartoons where, like, a mouse will drink, like, the monster juice and then chase the cat around, that's, like, exactly what I like it. Like, within that year, I was like. And, like, acne started to come, and then it was just like nothing. Puberty made you fat, and it would always be, like. It would always be like a roller coaster. And then when I look at myself in high school now, I was like. I was thin. I was. I was like £200. But then in high school, that's like a fat guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, Right, right. Well, it was all in your head, for sure.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. I mean, that was a part of it. Yeah. But I didn't look. I looked like. I just horrible for a really long time, and that stayed with me forever. I also think that, like, when you have acne, you, like, you, like, can't. I, like, couldn't look people in the eye for. You know what I mean? I was, like, looking down at their feet and like, that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Mike Mitchell]

That was like another. That was like the other sad part of it. But I was like. I remember I wrestled for a year and. And there was a guy who, like, the closest guy to my weight. 70 pounds bigger. And so, like, when we were doing exercises, I had to carry him on my back. And I was like. I was like, I weigh 100 pounds less than this guy. So I wasn't like. I wasn't the hue. I wasn't, like, huge in high school, but I was like. I'd say fat. I'd say. People would call me a fat guy now.

[Stavros Halkias]

When you were a beautiful little boy, do you remember what life was like?

[Mike Mitchell]

I. I swear to God, Like, I still will. Like, I'll have dreams of, like, running.

[Stavros Halkias]

When you're like, nine.

[Mike Mitchell]

Like, I was like, the idea. Like, I've, like, I don't dream ever because, like, yeah, severe sleep apnea. Right. With your brother. But I use a cpap, so I am, like, I'm. I'm dreaming a little bit now, but when I was. When I was like a nine or ten year, I was like. Like I was like, I'll have dreams about being a boy again and running around and I'll wake up and I'll be sad.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I'm like, that's so fascinating because, like, I. That's interesting because I have been. We do have, like. We have an absolute fat guy bond, no question. But we have gotten to, you know, fat adulthood in different ways. Because I was just your textbook fat little kid who was like, like, like kind of like, you know, gets his cheeks pinched by old ladies. Like, like, you know, cute little fat guy. Like my. I've told story in the pod. But it was like, you know, I auditioned for that Bruce Willis movie, the Kid.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh, shit.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was like an open audit.

[Mike Mitchell]

It wasn't like I auditioned for Dennis the Menace.

[Stavros Halkias]

See, that tells you the difference. You were a Dennis the Menace type. I was a fat boy. I was like. Because they wanted a chubby little guy, it ended up going to, like, Dakota Fanning's brother, I guess.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh, really?

[Stavros Halkias]

I guess they tried to make him a child. Their parents were like, put them all in the fucking system. I got debts, baby. The Mets fucked me. Put the Boy in movies, too.

[Mike Mitchell]

I want to thank Mr. And Mrs. Fanning because the two daughters are great actors.

[Stavros Halkias]

Incredible actors. Incredible actors.

[Mike Mitchell]

Sometimes it's worth it to ruin the kid's life.

[Stavros Halkias]

I wonder what the kid is up to now. The guy who. The movie was. The kid. The boy who beat me for the nationwide talent search. But it also is so funny where it's like, we're doing a nationwide talent search.

[Mike Mitchell]

So the little fan. The Fanning brothers.

[Stavros Halkias]

A little.

[Mike Mitchell]

He's chubby because he's a little.

[Stavros Halkias]

He was, I think. Can you mo. Can you look up the kid?

[Mike Mitchell]

The kid? Kid?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, the kid Fanning. And I remember seeing that and being so Fucking piss. Or maybe it's not Fanning. Maybe it's. Is it. Is it a different. Did I make that up?

[Mike Mitchell]

Wow. The Kid.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Go to cast. I think it's that kid. Maybe. Is his last name Fanning? No, it's something else. I lied or maybe they changed his name.

[Mike Mitchell]

It could just be. It could be a stage name or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

True, true.

[Mike Mitchell]

I'm gonna be pissed off if you like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dude, I'm gonna be. I'm such a piece of. Or maybe I was wrong. Damn. I thought I knew that.

[Mike Mitchell]

That is like. That is like a tr. That is like a thing I remember seeing. You know, I mean, like that the Disney's. The kid is one of those little memorable.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, click on that kid.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's a young version of him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, it's not Spencer. Oh, Breslin. It's a different family. Abigail Breslin. That's why. Okay. I wasn't totally wrong. Yeah. Look at him. He looks like a little fat. You know, he's a little. He's not even that fat. But anyway.

[Mike Mitchell]

But it's interesting because my way fatter.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Maybe I was too fat. But it's very funny for them. Like, we're doing a nationwide talent search and it's just like a showbiz kid gets the role.

[Mike Mitchell]

Sucks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like the fuck, man. What did I give up my Saturday for? To go to the fucking Towson Town Center Mall and sit in a fucking room for four hours.

[Mike Mitchell]

That also sucks that there was like multiple producers being like, that kid might be too fat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, that's next. Yeah, they have a pile that's like too fat. Fat enough to. Good to put in movies. Like. Like they were. That was really what it was. It was like they were just real. They were like. They're like. Dan Schneider was just like in a control room being like reject. Put in movies. Put in the pile.

[Mike Mitchell]

Anyway, so I'm out here. I looked up to Dan Schneider so much when I came to Hollywood.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah, because I like, I. It is very funny to think about the way, you know, the roots to being. Because, like, I had the problem of like, I knew to play the little fat guy role and I knew to be the little. The life of the party at a very young age and to be like a fun little fat guy. And so I had no. So I was not socially anxious at all, even in high school.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's huge.

[Stavros Halkias]

I.

[Mike Mitchell]

But.

[Stavros Halkias]

But the problem was I could get the only. Because I was so, like. Because I was so like, open and like constantly an entertainer. Whatever. The only place anxiety. Social anxiety hit me was with girls. And so that was a brutal one because when I was in high school, it was like, it would be like I could get girls to like go to the. You know, you like, Like, I remember in high school, the most Brutal time of my life is, take this girl out. We have a fun time.

[Mike Mitchell]

We're.

[Stavros Halkias]

My car. And that's when the anxiety starts. Because, like, nor. It's like, a girl is. She's trying to make out with you, dude. Like, I could have probably gotten, like, a weird hand job, you know, in my car, but I was just, like.

[Mike Mitchell]

Air poofing out of your dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Probably could. Yeah. Even at 17, I had erectile dysfunction. I just said my dick couldn't get hard. I was. I did. There's one time where I was getting jacked off in my church, and I was too nervous. I was so nervous my dick wouldn't get hard. And then. And I was drunk as. I was, like, 16 and just blackout drunk and.

[Mike Mitchell]

Why. Why the. Why. Why were you in the church?

[Stavros Halkias]

Because the Greek festival happens at the church, and we had a rec room upstairs that's like.

[Mike Mitchell]

This sounds like Godfather bull. Like, any. Like, yeah, if you're Greek or Italian. I'm like, I shouldn't be surprised.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. Yeah. But. But I was blackout drunk and, like. And. And then I was getting nervous because there was, like. We were making. We were making out. No, for real. We were making out. I've told. I've told this story before, I think, but we were making out, like, in a little cove that I knew about, and it was an office nobody used. And, like, while I'm touching this girl's tits, I'm like, 16. It's the best moment of my life. The door opens, and it's like, like, eight. Like, it's like the. The board of the church had been, like, counting the money from the festival, but it was all old dirtbag dudes, so it was like. They were, like, nice, but. But it made me nervous. So then I'm like, all right, let's go upstairs to the gym. And now I'm, like, drunk as shit. The girls touching my dick.

[Mike Mitchell]

God bless this girl at the time for being like, all right, let's keep it going. She was cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

I got it. I got to tell you, she was.

[Mike Mitchell]

A real cool girl.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it was very funny where the next day, it was like, I'm like. And, you know, no girls ever. Like, I've kissed, like, one other girl in my life, and I'm like, well, looks like I have a fiance. Like, I was, like, in love. Cause a girl, like, you know, touched my dick. And, like, I was too nervous thinking, like, you know, my aunt, like, my. My brother's godmother was going to catch us So I was like, all right, that's enough, we should leave now. But then I'm like cruising MySpace the next day and I hit, you know, hit her up on MySpace and dude, the most devastating thing where I'm. Where she's just like, oh no. She's like, haha, I got hit with this. This is like the best moment my life. And she's like, haha, last night was so crazy, I don't even really remember what. And by the way, she's lying. Like she was, it was like I wasn't a 16 year old assaulter. Everyone relax. It was, it was like, it was like, like I was the one who. I was getting drunk because a girl kissed me and I was nervous.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so I was just getting, keep, kept getting super fucked up. And then because she had a boyfriend, she was like, I don't, I don't even remember what happened. And you know, I check her top eight and I'm like, back in this MySpace days. This is like by the way, when Gen Alpha kids are watching this podcast and it's like two guys describing color television for the first time. We're like, I'm on MySpace getting pussy. They're like, it's like talking about watching the Merv Griffith show or whatever.

[Mike Mitchell]

I was like, AOL Instant messenger. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

A couple years older.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. I wish I had fucking Facebook or MySpace.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Oh, the bulletin. Trying to get pussy off the bulletin before status, as you had bulletins. But yeah, and then I'm like. And I'm like. And then I go. And she hits me with that message. I'm at my telemarketing job the next day. I was working as a telemarketer for a company called American Government Mortgage.

[Mike Mitchell]

When you were 16 years old, it sounds like you're like a 24 year old guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, I was at my telemarketing job the next day and I'm on MySpace being like, time to message my future wife, the girl who kissed me. And I get the like, oh, last night was so crazy. It was fun, but I don't remember what happened. And then, and then I go on her thing. I see like just pictures of her with a different guy and I'm like. And then I just like am tearing up and be like, ha ha, me neither.

[Mike Mitchell]

And then it's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I'm like crying, eating Wendy's. That was also the year I got fatty. That's the year I went from regular fat guy because the telemarketing job was next to a Wendy's And I got like, I went back to play football the next day. This is between my sophomore and junior or the next year to my sophomore and junior years. And my coach was like, what the did you do to yourself? I got too fat to play defensive tackle. Like, you know, that's the fattest guy in the, on the football team. And he was like, what the are you doing? And I didn't, by the way, I didn't lift weights. I just got fatter.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it was. But yes, that was a combination of.

[Mike Mitchell]

Her giving you that news and being next to a Wendy's. That seems brutal.

[Stavros Halkias]

That bought me 40 Baconators. Just that, that message. And so that's because I think of fat puberty as the moment you go from a chubby little boy who's like. Because you know, everyone who looks back, it's like you go from a chubby boy to like a fat disgusting man.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that was, that was, that was that summer.

[Mike Mitchell]

Because when I went from the kid is cute like the Disney's the kid is cute like there is, that's that crossover. It's, it's like it is around middle school, high school.

[Stavros Halkias]

It sounds like you went. And then there's an even later one which is like what I through like five years ago when you just become like as fat as a 50 year old man. When you just become a disgusting like not in any circumstances, you know, and.

[Mike Mitchell]

Your body's not functioning.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not fun. Yeah, it's when, yeah, it's when you get sleep apnea and you get, or you get your first. You need like three, you need diabetes, sleep apnea, some kind of dick problem. It doesn't have to even be erectile dysfunction. It could be like I was pissing too much or like, you know, or your piss is sweet because of diabetes or whatever.

[Mike Mitchell]

But yeah, that sort of thing of. There is a level where like if there's a girl in your bed and like, like she's touching and you have a sleep apnea mask off and you have to take the mask off before you have sex. Or like. Yeah. Or putting it on. Like the, like the, the, the whole process of putting on your sleep apnea mask after you've had sex, it's all, it's all, it's just embarrassing.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the weirdest one where you have to be like, you're cuddly. You're like. This is a pretty victorious moment for me.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I've had sex with a beautiful woman or an okay woman and who I respect. A beautiful woman who has something wrong in her life or an okay woman who I respect greatly and who care. You know, who. We have a bond, whatever. And then you have to be like, all right. And then you're cuddling. You're like, wow, life's awesome. And then you're like, okay, goodbye. I'm gonna go put on my. The mask that makes sure I don't die while sleeping next to you. And then you just have to sort of say you psychically bid them adieu. And then you're basically, like, in a little solo fat prison, you away. I don't. It's like, don't look at me. It's like Phantom of the Opera.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's the end of episode three where the. The mass comes over.

[Stavros Halkias]

Laying there fat as. And then, like, I literally, like, turn away. Like, I'm a stomach sleeper, so. So I'll turn away from the. I'll, like, show her my back so that it's like, you don't have. You don't look at me with my mask on. And then I'll wake up in the morning and be like, all right, take it off. And now I'm a human being again. I'll cuddle for, like, five minutes before waking up again.

[Mike Mitchell]

Me with a mask on is like. Like, I, like, pat, like, my. Whoever's in my bed head and be like, take their hand and be like, goodbye. Like, yeah, there's nothing else that's gonna happen now. I know I've had to become a back sleeper because of that. And I hate. I hate. I hate sleeping.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good for. You know, I think it's better for you. I just didn't learn it. I've just persevered through. I know it's bad for you, but I'm just like, I don't fucking care. Yeah, I'm gonna keep steeping on my stomach even though there's, like, a fucking cord tangled around me or whatever the fuck. I'll figure it out.

[Mike Mitchell]

I just got to hope the cord does its work.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. One day.

[Mike Mitchell]

Hung by my cpap, too.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know we got some blue collar boys and gals listening to Stavi's World. Me, myself, sure, as a youth, I worked with my father, who's a contractor. I worked in a machine shop manufacturing parts for guns. That's literally true. It sounds fake. I don't know. But I did do it. I come from blue collar. I come from a blue collar background. And that's why I'm excited to tell you about Brunt Work boots. Comfortable. They. They protect you like work boots. But they feel like sneakers. You know, I'm a wide footed boy. They come in wide size as well. I got the Marin boot. Beautiful. That. You know, I'm moving apartments right now. It's in my other spot, the studio. We'll get into you. We don't have to get into that during an ad read, but I'm in the middle of some heated real estate negotiations. These are wonderful boots. They're incredibly durable, but they're comfortable. Like I said, like a pair of orthotic sneakers you feel like you're working on. You're walking on a damn cloud. Like I got the Marin. Like I said, they. They are as at home on the toughest job shot on the toughest job sites. They're completely waterproof. Rain, mud. Standing in water, your feet are going to be nice and dry. They're also not bad if you're just podcasting. Maybe, you know, maybe you're a gamer who wants to pretend who's been lying to their father about working construction for years. These are the boots to get because they're comfortable for your tender little gamer feet. But maybe you're a blue collar boy or blue collar girl just like me, just like my daddy. And if that's the case, you're gonna want to grab these. All of Brunt's boots carry the names of real workers in their trades who test and inspire them. You're gonna love Brunt. You can okay with our code Stavi at checkout. You get $10 off. Go check that out at Brunt. Brunt was tired of the workwear brands out there cutting corners. You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots that don't hold up. So they built something better. Boots that are insanely comfortable and built for any job site. For a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt. When you use code Stavi at checkout, just head to bruntworkwear.com use the code STAVI and you're good to go. And after your order, they'll ask you where you heard about Brunt. Do us a favor and tell them it was from this show. Put on those delicious little Brunt workwear boots today. Well, not today. You order them today, they come in a reasonable time, then you put them on. You finally feel like a man. That's with CoachTavi. Bruntworkward.com use the code S-A V V Y.

[Mike Mitchell]

My, my. In my church, I never. I mean, years of. Not any of what you said at 16, you were way ahead of the curve.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, no, no, that was It. It was like, okay.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I kissed one. I. I, Like, I've had. I also had a very. I was like. I was cucked before I even got to a girl where it was like, I had, like, a. I had, like, a high school girlfriend who was, like, a family friend that I would see sometimes, and we would talk on the phone.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then she, like. And I made out with her twice. I touched her tits once and, like, the. And then. But I would get phone calls constantly where she was. She'd be like, huh, I accidentally got fingered last night. Like, just some other guy. I hadn't even, like, seen her breasts. And I'd be like, all right, well, listen, Fifth time. This has been fifth or sixth time. One more time, and you're in serious trouble in this relationship. So I had that. And then I touched, like, two pairs of tits. And then it was, like, over until college.

[Mike Mitchell]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

It was like a. It was just like. I was so embarrassed that I just. Because there's such a difference between how people perceive you as, like, the fat, fun guy who's like, I'm shitting on everyone. I'm in control. And then I'm so nervous around women in that age.

[Mike Mitchell]

Of course. Like, I think a lot of people.

[Stavros Halkias]

And now I've completely overcome. I know it's a mental illness where I'm like. I'm like, if I have girls, maybe I wasn't a loser in high school.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? It's like, maybe. Maybe it's the multiverse. And if I. Girls now, I go back in time, get pussy in, you know, 11th grade. And then.

[Mike Mitchell]

And then I have thought of a back. Like, back to the future. Like, getting pussy back to the. Like, if I could go back to being, like, like, 19 or 20.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

And, like, having.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't do comedy.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. Happy.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'd be in, like, a normal job, Massachusetts, just grilling.

[Mike Mitchell]

Be like seven Michael Jr. You know, like, that.

[Stavros Halkias]

We'd all have such better lives. I'd just be in Baltimore. Owning a fucking crab restaurant would be. You know what I mean?

[Mike Mitchell]

And we have kids with huge heads.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Just fat little kids. Me and my fat daughter. I'm braiding my fat daughter's hair. That'd be awesome. Dude. If we just go back in time and get pussy in high school, our lives are so much better, dude. And we're just.

[Mike Mitchell]

You know, I have, like, a thin blue lives flag.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's like, completely.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you're not doing anything wrong, you shouldn't Be scared of the police. You know what I mean? Like, you're at 100%. You got the thin blue line, dude. Absolutely.

[Mike Mitchell]

I, I, my, my, at my church, my confirmation, Cardinal Law was there. The bad guy from Spotlight.

[Stavros Halkias]

Whoa. You have a famously famous, like, move arounder. Like, he was the guy who didn't, he didn't it. He just kind of shifted the guys around, people.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, he was, he was a bit, he was a very Game of Thrones. Yeah, he was moving. He was moving. Priest left him.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's just, he's got like a board, like, it's like, it's fucking Stratego or whatever. And he's like, all right. He's got to be at least three parishes away from the kids. He fucked God.

[Mike Mitchell]

Come on, Frank.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on. That was my only spot. Now I gotta move Eric here. You're killing me. Can't you just kiss him for a couple months? You gotta suck him off too. You're how many? I can't move this many guys. Oh, you want to go to Providence too? Well, too bad, buddy. You're going to Montana.

[Mike Mitchell]

He's like, oh, a tough day at the office today. Had to move around like seven priests.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like Child or Tetris, where he's just like, he's waiting for one long piece to make it all make sense. Oh, and they all. Can we get a couple straight guys? I mean, Jesus. The all girls school. I can move you there. Everybody complains when I move you there. I've run out of all girls school to move the gay guys. Okay. So fucking chill. Yeah, it's fucking brutal.

[Mike Mitchell]

He was, he, I mean, the true villain of that movie was there and asked me a question. He was like, he asked me a question like, it was like a layup question. I got it wrong. And the church laughed. It was on Pop and race.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was like, yeah, how many? Yeah, it's like, Father, Son and holy, the spirit of St. Louis.

[Mike Mitchell]

In the confessional.

[Stavros Halkias]

In the confessional with our horniest priest. Go in the punishment booth, tongue rolling.

[Mike Mitchell]

Out of his mouth.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, go with Father McClanahan. He's going, he's getting transferred tomorrow. You think the day before they get transferred is like second semester, senior year, they're like, woo, I'm going crazy. I'm going on a spree. I gotta move to Toledo tomorrow anyway. I might as well.

[Mike Mitchell]

My mom, when I went to camp, Camp Fatima, which was not a fat camp, surprisingly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, that's, that was a saint, right? Because there was our lady of Fatima.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, Lady Of Fatima. Yeah. And that was the first camp my mom sent me to when I was younger. As an adult, she's like, you know, I was worried about sending you there because a priest had got in trouble for, like, a child there the summer before. I was like, why the fuck did you send me to that stuff? What the fuck's wrong with you? She sent me to Camp Fatima. Still.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so fudgeing funny.

[Mike Mitchell]

And I was like. I was, like, trying to remember Camp Fatima. I was like, I don't remember anything.

[Stavros Halkias]

Bad sign. Wait, was that the summer you turned fat? You're just like, mike, how was camp? I don't want to talk about it. Bring more Doritos.

[Mike Mitchell]

I went from a colleague, Elkin to me now. It was truly. It was a summer. I've always said that. There was, like, one summer I went down in my basement. I came up and was just a monster.

[Stavros Halkias]

A homunculus. That's so funny, dude.

[Mike Mitchell]

My mom also, she worked at my high school, so that was not. That was not. That was not helpful in any way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's so true.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your mom lurking. You can't just be like, you know.

[Mike Mitchell]

I. I remember I. My junior year, I wrote a note to a girl that was like, the. Like, the most embarrassing note you can write that was like, hey, like, yo. I, like, maybe wrote, yo, like, yo, hang out later, and, like, we're going to go drink beers at White Rock or whatever. I gave it to this girl, and then my chemistry teacher, like, and she sucked. But she took the note and she brought it downstairs, and I, like, walked into the room as she was giving the note to my mom. So my mom, like, had to. In this note is, like, it. Like, it's the. It's the most fucking embarrassing thing. So my mom had to see, like, what a loser her son also was. Like, this note that will, like, make any pussy go dry.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're in trouble, but you're also such a loser.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you have to watch her react live. You don't even get her reading it. And then, like, being like, all right, how am I going to react when he gets here? You see her being like.

[Mike Mitchell]

Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on.

[Mike Mitchell]

It was truly, like. It was. It was a mortifying moment.

[Stavros Halkias]

But.

[Mike Mitchell]

And so I, like, also, I like, it didn't help that she was there. Not that I would have done well anyways, but I think there's guys like you and there's guys like Gabe, I'll buddy John G. Who are, like, confident big guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gab, I feel like, really did have it fig. Like, I feel like he actually did hook up as a youth.

[Mike Mitchell]

He. He. I think he did. Well, I never. I never.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, I didn't. Don't get me wrong. I didn't either for like my psychological hang. That's why it's like, like, it's interesting, the fact the different types of fat guys you can be in, the different hang ups. Yes, you can have.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. And I was. I was like a. Like, I didn't. And even in college and now, well, I still found out. I was like, I don't even. Like, I don't like, whatever. It's not for me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you're asexual.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's like, I don't care about it. It's not fun. It's not fun for me. I don't like it anyways.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, but that's not true. Because the other thing is I. What I. What I really admire about you is you have a pure. You're. You're like the party animal for pure reasons.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You like just everyone having a good time. And there's no like, like, because, like, I'm trying to have a good time, obviously, and I like hanging out. Don't get me wrong. But I'm also 55th. It's 50% that.50. It's like, good party. We're having a good time.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Probably get sucked off, you know? Whereas I really admire that you're like, you're just trying to have an awesome time. You're a pure, beautiful, like, fun soul to be around. Whereas, like. Like I have that. And then, like, if I see if like a pair of titties hits me the right way, I'm like, I just lock in and I'm like, fuck this.

[Mike Mitchell]

Party dude in the water.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm like, I ha. I have to at least try. And look, most of the time I'm gonna get rejected, right? I'm gonna go up and I'm gonna talk to this girl, but I'm gonna get rejected. And then I'm like, now my attitude is bad the whole rest of the party, whereas you're just fucking having a good time. You know what I mean? There's a purity to that.

[Mike Mitchell]

I'm happy if I see every. If I send people off to bed together at the end of the night, and then I just am in bed by myself. I'm happy, my stocking cap on, smiling as everyone's off into ruining out your candle.

[Stavros Halkias]

Everyone's in there listening to everyone. You're just a. You're like a eight. A cuck. Eight different ways. You have like a, A series of tubes where you can hear everyone. You're just smiling. Listen.

[Mike Mitchell]

Petting my two cats. That was, I mean, like in college I didn't, I like the, the fat guy thing for me was always, it was always a sticking point. I was a, I was an. I was a 911 college kid. My first week of college was. Oh wow. It was 9 11.

[Stavros Halkias]

Holy.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, so. And I saw 9. I saw 9 11. I saw the buildings fall on a movie. In a movie. On a movie theater. Well, not, not, not like an amc.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

But like, like, like that there was. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was like, how do they even figure rig that up? They had that ready to go.

[Mike Mitchell]

4 dx. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Rubble.

[Mike Mitchell]

Why the water squirting? It was, it was, it was the theater at the college and it was my politics class. And then like I saw that all happen. Oh my God. Like on a big screen, live.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's crazy because we're only like five years apart, but like.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's right. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But that difference in those years is great because I was in seventh grade.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're like the idea of a seventh grader in a college, like, that's worlds apart.

[Mike Mitchell]

Of course.

[Stavros Halkias]

And like now we're. In fact, we're just the same age now. But it's like crazy how much like, like how. What a different experience. Cuz I was in French class and being like. And. But that's crazy cuz I'm sure the vibes were not like fun after 911 happened.

[Mike Mitchell]

No, no, no, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

No one's trying to, you know, get drunk and just suck a fat guy's dick after 9 11. They're trying to like be scared about Osama bin Laden.

[Mike Mitchell]

I remember they were like, firefighters are like, like people love firefighters and like bigger guy. And that didn't happen for me. That didn't work out at all for me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, well, if you were, if you were, if you were in Boston being a volunteer firefighter, it probably.

[Mike Mitchell]

I should have pivoted at that point.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, you know, there were guys and I. This is a big pet peeve of mine. You know, there were guys who signed up like 20, 22,002. Oh, and they were getting the runoff pussy. But it's like you guys weren't fucking firefighters during. They should have made you show. Like, were you a firefighter during 911 to get to fuck these girls? And I know a lot of guys weren't. You know what I mean?

[Mike Mitchell]

I would have been one. I should have been one of those guys. Except I definitely.

[Stavros Halkias]

You should have signed up immediately.

[Mike Mitchell]

I would have have not passed any tests. Like carrying the hose. I couldn't even do it. Yeah, yeah, but I, I.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're eating the Dalmatians food. You're like in their bowl. Like, come on, Mike.

[Mike Mitchell]

We're gonna keep him as like the house pet.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're the gimp. You're the firehouse gimp.

[Mike Mitchell]

Which figure we saw. We.

[Stavros Halkias]

We did.

[Mike Mitchell]

We went to see double feature of.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was awesome because I hit the fat guy chat thread. This is the beauty of the fat guy thread. I'm on the plane to la. As soon as we land, I'm like, where do I get a good burrito? That's the first question I ask about la. I'm on the tarmac. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and you, you, you text me, you're like, by the way, I'm going to a double feature. And we saw Pulp Fiction and before that it was Reservoir Dogs, which is a great, great double feature.

[Mike Mitchell]

I love that you didn't balk at that because I am like, all I do is go see movies. And I told you, like, like you were talking about like the, the, the ghosts of Christmas yet to come. Like the fat guys that you see that you're like, that's future me. And I, I go to the Vista, which is Tarantino owns.

[Stavros Halkias]

Incredible, dude.

[Mike Mitchell]

Awesome. Awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love. That's the best. I mean, what LA has for sure. This is the first time I've been like, I come here, you know, you just come here a lot for work stuff. And I've never, I've always been like, oh, this was fun, but I'm ready to leave. I'm weirdly like, enchanted with LA right now, where I'm like, I. I'm trying to get an apartment in New York. It's been kind of a pain in the ass. And if it falls through, I've decided my backup plan is to just come rent a house in LA for the month. I just love that because, like, seeing the movie was awesome and the weather's actually, it's not as hot as you think of the summer.

[Mike Mitchell]

No. October, like, it weirdly gets hotter. October, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But like August, not bad. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's not, it's not great, but it's like better than New York, which just gets hot as. And there's no beach and there's no.

[Mike Mitchell]

Pools and there's no like. I mean, there's like never any real humidity. It's just when it gets like 100 degrees.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, it's also nice because it's cold at night. It always dips down because the sun is really what's heating you, not like, you know, humidity and you know, being in an urban fucking landscape. So anyway, I think I'm.

[Mike Mitchell]

I would love, I would love for you to get a house. I mean, you are, you would be moving out here like as the city is like fall and like everyone is like vacating this, but it would just.

[Stavros Halkias]

Be like a weird, like, let me spend a month during the summer. Look, I think what's going to happen now because I'm excited about this plan.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

God is going to turn around. When I wanted the New York apartment, he was fucking, he was fucking my ass and not giving it to me. Now where I've got this kind of fun plan to just spend like five weeks in LA over the summer for fun and watch movies and shit like that. He's gonna. I'm trying to trick God into giving me the New York apartment by having a different dream. I'm like, well, I want this now, God. And he's gonna just give me the apartment because I've already. The fucked up thing is I've already.

[Mike Mitchell]

There's a fire pole to the Sbaro downstairs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh yeah, that's my dream apartment. It's like next to a Sbarro Panda Express. I'm like, yeah, the best parts of New York City. B, it's above the M and M store in Times Square.

[Mike Mitchell]

That would, I would always be getting asked for autographs for red. Red.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You couldn't wear whatever color shirt you're wearing. They'd be like, whoa, it's the yellow Eminem.

[Mike Mitchell]

You never break character. All right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But, but yeah, it was fun and I, I love that about it. I mean, like Tarantino's theater. I mean, I've really gotten into a movie going, you know, era of my life. Cause like, you know, when I was a kid, my parents are. My parents are. You know, I'm a first generation Greek immigrant and there really was a cultural like. Like my mom was into too good of films because she grew up in Europe and she was seeing all this, like, you know, she was big into like, you know, actual fucking intellectual cinema. Like, you know, I'm too stupid even now to remember the guys that we're talking about. Like, I don't know, what are some fucking big.

[Mike Mitchell]

I went to film school too. And I don't know, what's the guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's the guy Playing Death. Chess with Death. With the Bergman, maybe. Yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's in like, you know, she was into like. But the one thing she really liked was weird. And my mom's like just the nicest Eastern European, you know, woman, like, makes snacks from my friends. Like just, you know, my brother just had a kid. She's built to be a grandma. Like, it's just so perfect. But she weirdly really liked mob movies. So the only like the, a weird bonding experience I had with my mom when I was like a pretty little. And she wouldn't let me. She was so strict. I couldn't watch like for a while. She wouldn't let me watch the Simpsons. Like, she was that strict. But she would let me watch mob movies because she thought they were just good movies. So it's like, like I remember renting the Godfather and the Godfather 2 world, like the double VHS with my mom. And that was like one of the most bonding experiences of my, you know, shows you how ungrateful you are. It's like your. My mom did everything for me, but I'm like, one time she got me dominoes and we watched the Godfather. That was the best day of her as a mom. But so I, I, I kind of have like crime movies or like they're important to me.

[Mike Mitchell]

I mean, Goodfellas is like the, that was like when I saw that movie on VHS when I was whatever like 10 or when my friend got it on VHS. That was like the change. Like, like the, like one of those life changing moments where you're like, well, movies. I didn't know movies could be like this cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like this is such an interesting. Yeah, good fellas. Was a, I mean, yeah. When I got, was getting into Scorsese and stuff, it was. I, I have like these eras where I'm making up for lost time because I didn't really, you know, I didn't watch. We weren't really a big movie family and we watched a lot of Greek and we watched a lot of like when I was a little kid we would get like dubbed. All the, all the Disney movies we watch dubbed in Greek.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh man, I fucking love that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because my dad was convinced we were moving to Greece. Like every year he was like, we're going back. Don't get used to being in America. And it was like, it wasn't until I was in like high school where I really started to love. Like, I started like comedy was really, you know, and Chappelle show was big.

[Mike Mitchell]

When I was in high school, I was, I was, I was in, I was in college. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then there's the run of the like, you know, Will Ferrell movies. Obvious.

[Mike Mitchell]

Like, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

40 year old virgin and Anchorman. That kind of like. And all the way through, like. And then the Apatow movies. Like, I started having my own stuff. And then when I was like, hey, I like these movies. Maybe I should go back and see all the other movies I like. So I've had eras where I've gotten back into movies. And then Undercover Brother, Undercover Brothers, a banger. I love Undercover Brother. I was weirdly, I loved Night at the Roxbury. Like, that was like. I still. And honestly I watched it recently. I literally think it holds up.

[Mike Mitchell]

Some of those. I think some of those movies get on a little too.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they don't deserve it.

[Mike Mitchell]

They don't deserve it now compared to when they're. There's no comedies, no comedies whatsoever. Naked Gun coming out is like, you're like, oh, thank God. There's like in friendship. Of course it's like there's like two comedy movies in the theaters.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, but. But yeah. So I don't know, I. I just find myself being like. And now I'm in a place where I'm. I'm like, let me keep. And then I was like into stand up so much that I thought I was like all other stuff I gotta learn how to do stand up. But now I'm kind of in a point in my life where I'm like, I like. My favorite thing to do is go see a double feature of like, like two movies. I love. You know what I mean?

[Mike Mitchell]

That's what that's. I thought a lot of people would balk it. That was like six hours at this. Like you just landed earlier. Want to come spend six hours at this theater? Yeah, with like 55 year old guys. We're like the entire movie.

[Stavros Halkias]

But there's at least. There's the other thing about LA is that there's hot film girls.

[Mike Mitchell]

Sure she does.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I mean New York has that too to some extent.

[Mike Mitchell]

Which I have never noticed at the theater until I was sitting with you, some lady was like, well, I listen to your podcast ass. I was like, what the hell? I've never even like, I've never seen it. Like most of these screening. I'm going to like Mad Max screenings at like midnight with like, with like 50 and 60 year old.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure, sure. But anyway, it's. It is cool that you know, so, so yeah, dude, I'm. Who knows, maybe we'll be, we'll be catching these, these double features.

[Mike Mitchell]

I would love the vista is awesome. It rules. I. I. Were you not. Were you not like a Simpsons? Did you get to watch I love the Simpsons?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, I did. It was the kind of thing that I would go to my friend's house, shout out to the mysterious and elusive Big P. We don't reveal his identity on this podcast, but I would go to. I would go to his house, and that was the gateway for a lot of. You know, he had that friend who was like. Like, parents trying to be strict is hilarious because it's like, they're just gonna do it with their friend, of course. Whose parents don't give a. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, everyone has their trashy friend whose parents got married too young, who got, you know, their former teen, you know, just smoking cigarettes inside. Just be like, watch whatever the fuck you want. Just shut the fuck up. Like, those parents. And it was like, yeah, we're just drinking so much soda, watching, like, fucking pornography downstairs. He's on, like, Ebaum's world. We're, like, 11 years old, looking at, like, you know, nuns. I won't say what. Cause we've already said some stuff that's gonna get demonetized this episode. But, yeah, I mean, so I love that. I mean, I was a huge Simpsons in it. And then what happened was. I don't know if you caught it this way, but most. A lot of my comedy education was just reruns. Like Seinfeld.

[Mike Mitchell]

Sure. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't watch Seinfeld chronologically. You watch it on at, you know, 4pm it's that weird syndication. And so I watched the Simpsons and Seinfeld, and, like, there were these specific, you know, Malcolm in the Middle, like.

[Mike Mitchell]

All these shows, and they were just showing that. They were showing, like, the best Simpsons and the best. Like, it was like the re. The. They played double episodes. And exactly that was that. This is the thing that makes me feel so old is, like, I remember sitting in front of a TV that had no cable and, like, pushing a button and watching, like, the monsters. It makes me feel like I'm, like, a. It makes me feel like I'm 80 years old. It's so fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I know what you mean, because those five. The five years difference is so crucial because I remember doing that when I was, like, five.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's like, it's. I just missed out on that. And. And we only did it because we were also porous. Like, we had such a shitty tv. But. But I know what you mean. It's like, you Watch those old ass like the Three Stooges and that kind of shit. Yeah, there was a little moment of doing that.

[Mike Mitchell]

There was. There was. I mean, my parents were. My dad was. He was 40 when he had me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, which explains. He's dead. Yeah, he's gone now. I loved him, but he was Rip, the big man. He was a great guy. He. He was. He went to law school in his 30s. My mom and he were both teachers, so he was. He was. They met when they were teachers, and then he went to law school.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's cool.

[Mike Mitchell]

And then we. I had like, we got.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you the oldest or the youngest?

[Mike Mitchell]

I'm the youngest. Youngest of two. I have an older sister.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Mike Mitchell]

And then he. So he went to law school.

[Stavros Halkias]

Baby boy, the beautiful blonde baby.

[Mike Mitchell]

I was a beautiful bomb. Which, like, still my. Like, even in high school, my mom would be like, my beautiful guy. And I was like. I was like, I.

[Stavros Halkias]

Those days are over. Yeah. Wake up, sister. That kid is dead now. Stop blocking. I want to go get headed the quarry and drink some beers.

[Mike Mitchell]

That is true. I. I like my friends, we did have a quarry that we would jump in.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Mike Mitchell]

I would be. The guy who was jumping off of. It was called Peak. And I was like, that would be. That would be the thing. I was like doing laughs on Peak and they had to convince me to like, do the bigger ones that I was afraid of.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so funny.

[Mike Mitchell]

I feel like I was maybe the cuz my parents let me watch the Simpsons. Married with Children was like a little dicey. That was. That was the one that they were like a little bit afraid.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course. Of course.

[Mike Mitchell]

Conan was. Wakonan was the huge one for me. Like, watching late night Conan is like what made me be like, I want to like, do that in some way. Which I never even figured out. When I went, like, it was. I went to school for computer science.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really?

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. There is. There is like. There's a weird alt. There's a swinging door for me too.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you good? You're good at that? You're good at math and like that?

[Mike Mitchell]

I mean, probably. I mean, I went into computer science because I like, liked aol. They wrote code on the board and I was like. Like, I was like, I don't know what the any of this means. And then so I like, was undeclared for forever. And then I was like, oh, like, there's the park school at Ithac. I went to Ithaca in upstate New York, and the park school was like, oh, you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Road trip.

[Mike Mitchell]

I mean, truly, why? I. Truly, why? I submitted. I submitted, like, I applied to 11 schools, and I got into there in UMass Amherst, which, like, all the. And I got in there for the engineering program and into Ithaca, and I was like, I should, like, make a change and go up there. Like. Like, I'm gonna be a new man up there. And then it was just the same thing for four years, of course, when I got up there. But. But that's, like, there. I was like, oh, you can, like, actually do this for a living. And then my dad was, like, a lawyer, and he's like. I think he always thought I would be a lawyer. But then I. He. It must have sunk in at some point where he's like, I have, like, a sloppy, dumb son. I don't think he's gonna be like, my boy's not looking at books ever. I don't think. I don't think. I don't think he's gonna be a lawyer.

[Stavros Halkias]

What did your dad teach when he was a teacher? Was he, like.

[Mike Mitchell]

He taught history, and my mom taught.

[Stavros Halkias]

English, so was he, like, a studious, buttoned up guy or whatever?

[Mike Mitchell]

But he was. He was. He was like. Like, he was very kind of. Not everyone loved him, and he could be. He could be funny. You know what I mean? But he was. He. He was just a good guy. He was a good. Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is, like, your mom funny or like my mom's.

[Mike Mitchell]

They both were, like, funny. I mean, I had it in them.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it wasn't, like, their main thing.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he'd, like, say. I remember. Like, this is. I probably shouldn't say this. I was like. If I was, like, next to him at a urinal, he'd, like, look at. He, like. He'd look over and be like, look at that little pathetic. He'd say, like, that. Like, that is fun in hindsight and like. But he wasn't like, you know, I. He didn't even know that you could, like, make a living.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Mike Mitchell]

Doing. It was just so.

[Stavros Halkias]

His mind.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. It was so different from his world. And then he. He worked up until, like, the month he died, he. He died from pancreatic cancer.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, damn.

[Mike Mitchell]

But it is fun. He was like. He was like. He was in good shape. Like, it was. I would go down in the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah. Was he like, Jack or just, like, in good shape?

[Mike Mitchell]

He was just in good shape. I would go down.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wasn't a fat guy.

[Mike Mitchell]

He was. He wasn't a fat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, in my head, I've always just no. Any story you've told old. I've always pictured of just kind of a jovial fat guy.

[Mike Mitchell]

No whammy. Whammer was. He was in shape. He was. I would go downstairs, okay, okay. And at six in the morning and I would be like up or like, whatever. Like, I would like be coming downstairs and he would be doing sit ups and push ups. Like what with the news, like news on. And I would just be like, I'd be laying on the couch just watching him do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's like 20 year old son hung drunk as. And he's like about to go fuck like reading briefs and like fucking doing fucking. Oh, that's interesting. I just assumed. Cause you hear like, you know, you think like dad early and I didn't realize it was cancer. I just assumed like fat guy going, you know what I mean?

[Mike Mitchell]

He would like spa with me sometimes. And truly in like the last month he was alive with stage four pancreatic cancer. He still was just like kicking my ass. He was like beating the shit out of me. And I would be like, like I'm. I was like, fuck.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's like still pretty tough on his deathbed. You're like, all right, one more round. Old man Mike's time to shine. You're like, get the fucking hard things in here. He owes me a sparring session.

[Mike Mitchell]

Just a quick jab before they pull the plug. Got you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Look, we gotta pay the bills around here, okay? We. I find out about a lot of products when they sound cool and we have mutual interest and we're like, all right, great. We'll. We'll do, we'll try them out, we'll do an ad for them if we like them. Magic spoon I've had in my home before. They were a freaking advertiser. I ate. They sent us a box to try it out. That box went fast as shit in this household. I bought. I have two. I have this in my other apartment. I have Magic spoon at both my apartments. That's how much I love this cereal. It's got. Yeah, I'm a protein boy right now. I'm trying to get a little swole. So I'm prioritizing foods that are high in protein, lower in sugar. That's what I love about magic spoon. We're talking 13 grams of protein, 0 grams of sugar, 4 grams net carbs. Because look, you don't want to kill yourself. You have to have things that taste good that are also high protein. You don't want to be maniacal about, you know, restricting yourself of delicious treats, even when you're living a lower carb, higher protein lifestyle. That's where Magic Spoon comes in. I take handfuls. I sprinkle in a little yogurt. You know what I mean? I have a nice time with it. Any way you slice it, you're gonna love it. Obviously, I also have it with milk. Classic. But I get creative with it. A little protein powder, a little peanut butter in there.

[Mike Mitchell]

There.

[Stavros Halkias]

Whatever you want. And they have treats now. The crispy, crunchy, airy. Another 12 grams of protein on the go. We were crushing those on the bus. They come in flavors like marshmallow chocolate, peanut butter, and dark chocolate. We love those. It was a dark day. They were. They were carried at some Costco's and some cities we would find them, some cities we wouldn't. You could see how much better our moods were on the bus when we found a Costco that carried the Magic Spoon protein treat. So this is what I want you to do. If you're interested in this delicious cereal that's also high protein, low sugar, get $5 off your next order at magicspoon.com stavi or look for Magic Spoon on Amazon or in your nearest grocery store. That's magicspoon.com stavi for $5 off. I will personally be using that promo code. I promise you that. That. Oh, interesting. So do you think, like. So do you think they wanted, like, your parents saw a pretty standard be a lawyer? Like, what do you think they saw for you?

[Mike Mitchell]

I think so, but I think that they could have. They couldn't ever. I. I would hope so.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're a departure from, like, what your par. Kind of like your parents in a big way. Okay.

[Mike Mitchell]

And, like, I. I, like, what. When did you realize that you could do what you do for. You know what I mean? Like, that to me was, like, never during.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, I started doing it when I was 19.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it was this kind of thing.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's probably earlier than a lot of people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I think so. I mean, I quit in the middle of. I did it for like a year and a half, two years. And then I quit because I had all this family guilt.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so I took it really seriously for a year and, like, took school really seriously. Whatever. But then I was like, I have to quit. Like, by the time I. By the time I was a senior, I was. I was like, I'm doing Stand up.

[Mike Mitchell]

Up.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm gonna. This is what I'm gonna do.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it's interesting because I never, as a guy I think me and my dad are weirdly, in a. In a up way. I mean, we have a very. We have a strange relationship. We were. We were. We. I didn't talk about that for like a decade. And now we're trying to get it, you know, we're trying to fix it, whatever.

[Mike Mitchell]

I've always pictured you like, older. You too, by the way. Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, well, that's the things like me and my dad are pretty similar. Just that I think it's similar guys who just grew up in completely different circumstances where it's like he. Because everything. He was really funny. Like, my dad is a ball buster. He's like really good at like. He's good at like. He gets riffing. He gets like. And my whole dad's side of the family is. They're ball busters, dude. Like, they're like, you know, like my aunt is this little obese woman who just as soon as I come to. As soon as I come to Greece, she's calling me a fat piece of shit. She was like, like, I've told this story before, but. But I hadn't seen this woman for years and the first thing she says to me is like, you want meatballs, you fat homo? She's just like, she's just like, I'm off of the plane. The first time I ever come without my family. I'm like, you know, a fat 22 year old or whatever. And she's just like. She's like, you want meatballs, you fat homo?

[Mike Mitchell]

And I'm like, how about, hello, how about you?

[Stavros Halkias]

And my whole family was just like that. That where they're like, you're fucking fat. You know, they're making fun of you for being fat, for being a fucking pussy American, whatever. And so. And my dad used to do like community. They used to have like, they used to do like community theater in. In Baltimore. They had a Greek language community. There's how many. That's how many Greeks there were in the 80s. They would do theater in Greek. And he was like. He is a very Gregorian, but. But I also think my dad just like, I'm really lucky that I have my mom who really built me up. Up and like was great. And. And my dad, his parents, it was just a weird set. Like there wasn't a lot of ways for him to gain confidence in himself. And so I just, I think he never. We have similar stuff, but he was in much worse circumstances. And he just always looked at me as like he. I was good at standardized tests. I was. I would get Good grades.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I think he just saw me as like a pussy bookworm version of himself. And he was like, you're going to go make money and get me out of debt.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? And it wasn't like. And so when I told him, oh.

[Mike Mitchell]

That'S probably the scariest thing in the.

[Stavros Halkias]

World when I wanted to stand up, like, he was just like, I literally have a phone call where he would call. Like, there's a specific phone call. I was graduating college, even though I never. I never technically graduated. That's a whole other story. But the year I was done with the, you know, week I was done with college, I get a phone call and I'm like, hello? And it's just like. I'm like, dad, what's up? He's like, your mom tells me you're doing comedy now.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I was like, yeah. And he was like, hangs up.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's the whole phone call. The whole fucking phone call.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it was like. But I was also the happy. It was interesting because it was just like there was no, we want something better for our kid. Which I think is. That's where my mom came from too. And that's where I think your parents were. It was like. Like, we want a good, stable life for our boy. There was just like this resentment of like, come on, you idiot.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

What I stay in America for if you're just going to go do stupid comedy? You know, like, that was the vibe.

[Mike Mitchell]

He must have changed his mind. Like, that. You've done very well.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. When he saw me sell out, like, our. The L. I sell out the Lyric, which is a. You know, in Baltimore, I sell out our big theater, like, six times.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's huge.

[Stavros Halkias]

And, well, coincidentally, my dad wanted to talk about things after that. It's like, when it's something like that, which I don't want to get cynical about it, whatever, but it's like, to his credit, he's never been a piece of shit that's, like, asked for anything. Like, I help my family out. Obviously, you'd be a piece of shit to. To make it and not help your family out. But there is, like, he's changed his tune. When. When it became so obvious, I made the right choice, but they were like, I now would go back to Greece, and that same family that would roast me. Me would be like, so have you decided to maybe do something with your degree? Like, you know, not understanding at all.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

What was going on?

[Mike Mitchell]

I mean, he. My. My dad did not. He was. He was Definitely nervous about. I think both of them were like, we want you to be happy or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, that was like, where their head was at. And. But my dad there was like. The different thing for me is like, he's like, everybody loved him, and he was. And I'm sure everyone loved your dad too, but I'm saying, like, I'm like, I'm never gonna be like, in my.

[Stavros Halkias]

Mind, I'm like, your dad's a community.

[Mike Mitchell]

Fixture, like a beloved community loved guy, kind of. And I was like, man, that's a hard thing to live up to. And then the only thing that, like, it's funny after. After he passed away, I remember some guy being like, I used to go to the bar with your dad when he was younger, and he would challenge people and they. They could punch him as hard as they could in the face, and if he didn't flinch, he'd drink a beer. I was like, wait a minute, What? I was like, my dad did this at all of his life. So I was like, okay, maybe there is hope for me someday to be. Be like him. But I think it is, like, of course.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that's interesting, though, because it sounds like you just had, like, he was. It's like by being such a good dad who did so much, like, in your head, without realizing, he had set up an impossible. Like, it seemed impossible to you, when in reality it's like, that's totally possible. You know what I mean? Like, I'm telling you now, if you look back, it's like all this stuff, you're like, how did he handle it? It's like, you know, just like, have a job. You know what I mean? Like, you definitely could have lived up to whatever.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it's like when you're young and then it's. I think that's probably compounded with loss because it's like he. He's. He's taken from you at a time where you're. You're pretty young. You don't get to, like, learn him as a guy and, like, grow and like, him tell you. You know, I used to get, you know, you missed a lot of those stories.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's like he did when I was like, relative. I was like. I was like, late 20s when he passed. Yeah, that's.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is. That's kind of like when you get to learn, you know, meet your parents as human beings.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? Because it's like in your late 20s, when you first really are who you are.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

100 like college and early 20s have washed away the. Maybe you could argue maybe starting in your mid-20s, but still it's like that's really like I've. Even with my mom, who I have a good relationship with. That's when I feel like me. And I've started to get her as a human being.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Instead of just my mom. It's like that happens when you're like 30.

[Mike Mitchell]

Same, same, same thing in the last. In. My mom and I always watch movies. That's how we do. Like we bond over that now too. But like my mom was the hard ass when I was growing up. And then. And then she. But she was always. She was always pretty supportive about entertainment stuff. And I didn't. I went out here for like a summer semester after I finished and then they were. I. I was like. I got offered to work on this movie in Denver. That's like the. The. That was like my first showbiz job.

[Stavros Halkias]

PA or something.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. Yeah. I was like an assistant to a producer who asked me a.

[Stavros Halkias]

For. For.

[Mike Mitchell]

To suck him off.

[Stavros Halkias]

At one point I was going to.

[Mike Mitchell]

Make a joke about them molesting you and they actually asked you to talk to you.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome. Fresh out of college.

[Mike Mitchell]

And also he did ask me to buy a bunch of porno in a bookstore once.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Oh.

[Mike Mitchell]

It was like. It was like. It was a bunch of like.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like the fat intern sucks dick.

[Mike Mitchell]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like Boston boys first gay experience.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's just like all shit.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's. It directly applies to you.

[Mike Mitchell]

He's.

[Stavros Halkias]

He gives you three very specific titles.

[Mike Mitchell]

It was, it was, it was, it was. It was a funny stack of magazines. I'll say.

[Stavros Halkias]

And.

[Mike Mitchell]

And I did that. And then they were kind of like, why don't you like try to do it? And they were like supportive in the way. Like I was pretty self sufficient early on. But my dad was like, here's like a little bit of cash. He did that. You know, he did that every so often. He. And I was like lucky like that. You know what I mean? Like, I worked like they. They were good in the way of like they. I was a garbage man one summer.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh hell yeah, dude.

[Mike Mitchell]

And I would see Tom Br. I mean, we haven't even talked about how you hate the city of Boston.

[Stavros Halkias]

We don't have to get into it now. You know what I mean?

[Mike Mitchell]

I. I do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, the thing is I don't. I philosophically hate what Boston stands for.

[Mike Mitchell]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's mostly sports. Hate Right.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because every. Like, I have a lot. Like, some of my best friends are from Boston. I hit it off with people from Boston and Bobby Kelly, like, my.

[Mike Mitchell]

We're so similar. It's like. It's like not. It's just a few, like a totally. A few hundred miles.

[Stavros Halkias]

Everything on the east coast is kind of like, very, like, I think starting from. I do think starting from Baltimore all the way up to Boston. There is a chain of like, Boston, New York, Philly. You know what I mean? It's like there is like this Mid Atlantic Northeast.

[Mike Mitchell]

We all hate each other and we're all the same.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're all pretty much even Pittsburgh to a certain extent. Like, Baltimore can kind of, you know, react, relate to that kind of. To do. But yes, I mean, it's very similar. And I always. I love. I always hit off from people from Boston. It was always when I would go up there, even when I had no sauce whatsoever. Like, I got. I like, it was when I was like, whoa, it's cool being a road comedian. I was not famous. I wasn't that funny.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I got to girls, like, every time I went to Boston for the first. And I was like, this place rules.

[Mike Mitchell]

I'm eating fried clams in like, the city lines of. I don't think it's possible for me. So I'm glad it works for you. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, there's something about that type of white trash.

[Mike Mitchell]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, you know, the. It was. It was. It was. People were really getting their lives back together after the, you know, opioid crisis. But I. I fucking. I love. I really do like. And I, you know, spending time in Boston, I like it.

[Mike Mitchell]

But there is gonna come out with my. You'll have a. You'll have a fucking blast.

[Stavros Halkias]

And we'll be there. We'll be in Boston the 12th and the 13th. I think. Whatever. We'll flash the fucking dates right here. Here. But we'll look, dude. We'll get into all our Boston hate at a different. At a different time. We got. We got to help the people, Mike, because part of this. Part of the pod here is, you know, using some of our expertise. And we have Mr. Emo, who you'll never see. You'll never hear his voice, folks. He's filling in for elders who, as we said, is taking a vacation. Not cleared by me. Never asked. Just kind of said he was doing it. You gotta love it, man. Do you have any experience with Albanians, Mike? Have you ever.

[Mike Mitchell]

No, not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not too much.

[Mike Mitchell]

I'm now questioning. I'm like, have I ever met in Albania? I must have met an Albanian in my life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who knows?

[Mike Mitchell]

I mean, I'm from a very Irish. You know, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, I don't know that they're in. That they're in the. They're in Boston, Honestly, they're in New York, they're in Baltimore. But anyway, Eldis is. That's why we always like to ask. All right, what do we got here? Mo Savvy, Elvis, esteemed guests. Oh, man, that last recording was bad. So I'll get right to it. I'm bi. I saw this couple for a while as a unicorn. They've since divorced and while I haven't kept on with the guy as much.

[Mike Mitchell]

I've been cordial with the gal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cordial, huh? But I'm also a bartender in the town. I'll redact the name, but it's a sizable town, maybe half million people. She's now in this era where she's going on a lot of first dates again and getting back out there.

[Mike Mitchell]

And they were by no means not.

[Stavros Halkias]

A kinky couple before, but she's kind of kicked it up a notch and she's kind of started showing up at my bartending job in the evenings.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

And she's propositioned me, but nice. God, the guys she's bringing around are just fugly. She's in that era of just like trying to get as many rebounds and she's propositioning me. And I don't really know how to tell her that. They're just not like even. She's hooking up with threes and twos. What's her name? What's she up to?

[Mike Mitchell]

7 or 8.

[Stavros Halkias]

How do I. Mike, let's get her back out there. While I appreciate you're in kind of a, you know, hoenn era, I'm not interested in joining any of the guys you've been bringing around. And to make this kind of more complicated, she's far and away my best tipper. Like 50 on her tab sometimes. And they tip well too, but man, she's like really bringing it home with tips for me.

[Mike Mitchell]

So. Thanks, guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sorry, this is a weird one, but. No, no, this is the kind of stuff we live for.

[Mike Mitchell]

This is great.

[Stavros Halkias]

Appreciate it. So our bisexual bartender, the his best customer keeps asking him to ugly guys with her. How to navigate this. Very interesting.

[Mike Mitchell]

I was, yeah, I was just sitting here nervous that I, like, was on a date with this girl.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, yeah, I. I guess I'll let the Bartender suck me off if I get to see if I get to you.

[Mike Mitchell]

Which bar?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. This is very interesting because you would definitely. It sounds like he would her without the guys.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Question.

[Mike Mitchell]

It seems like, it seems like he'd like, I feel like he likes her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or like, like yeah, he'd at least smash.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. Problem.

[Stavros Halkias]

I. I think, I think when you're getting. She's in this era, whatever. And yes, I do think you, if you're direct, you risk hurting her feelings to the point where she stops coming around as a regular. But also she's not asking you a regular like a normal question. Like, I think when you proposition someone, the fact that your vibe is Nah, I'm good. Not like, how dare you? Right. Yeah, that's. That's a. You are still providing a service to her. You're providing a guy that. The second the proposition includes another two people I want to fuck, I'm down. You're a pretty open minded, cool guy for that. I wouldn't, I wouldn't worry about that. I think you're fine being like, ah. You can also throw out like, hey, if you want to hook up just us, I'm down. But you know, these guys, this guy, you could be like, I'm just not in the mood. You can even just say, I'm not in the mood for a threesome right now. Now. And that's. You could just be like, I'm kind of in a solo zone. And you could even say straight up, like, maybe the guy's really hot. Or if you bring a. Like, then I could break it. But that's. I think your, that's what you can hide behind is that you have to be in a specific mood for a threesome. And if you. It's only if the guy's a piece of ass that you're down.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's, you know, I, I don't think you have to worry about your. I don't think you have to worry about the tip side of it at all. Like, I think, I think, I think you're 100, right. It's that sort of thing of like one. You could do a thing where together maybe you could talk to her and be like, like, let's pick out some guy together that we both are like interested in. You guys maybe could like make that a thing. But it does seem like maybe you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Could bring a guy to her.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or a girl if you want to go that way too. Who knows?

[Mike Mitchell]

It seems like he is. It seems like he is more because when he was talking about she was with a guy before, right? And it seems like he does like this. It seems like he likes this woman quite a bit. So I'm like. I'm like, like the other guy is gone. And it seem. It seems like he cares about this woman too, but I can't tell if it's. Is just a sort of thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know. I don't know that he, like, cares about her in terms of, like, wants anything more than.

[Mike Mitchell]

More than just. Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I think it's like. I think from the vibe I'm getting is that he, He. He likes her in terms of. She's a. She's a friend. She's her. His best tipper. She's a great customer who he'll get head from. You know what I mean? I don't think he's trying to date this one.

[Mike Mitchell]

I mean, I just feel like such a dork comedian would be like, I think they're in love.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is. When you have two good parents, this is another element. Like, we really do need to do the, like, taxonomy of different types of fat guys. Like, it's like, it's like party animal, non horny. Two good parents. Party animal, horny, one good parent, you know, great mom. And then we have, like, Gabris who's like, party animal, horny. Maybe two weird parents. I don't know.

[Mike Mitchell]

Like, I think. I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think. Yeah, we have to make a list of, like, anyway, so.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know, dude. I think, like, I think you hide behind. I'm not really in the zone. I'm in a place in my life where I'm not really in the zone for a. Through some. Unless it's like, bangers. And no disrespect, these guys aren't like my. They're, you know, they're not like. And then you could even. Yeah, you could be like, maybe we could pick a guy. Or I think you just let it lie. You're like. You could even just be like, no, I'm not in the zone right now. And be like, hey, maybe we could if you even want that. Right, Right. Honestly, the most important thing here is to maintain her as a tipper. I think, like, that's the most important thing in this guy's life.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

As a bartender, a woman tipping 50%, and she's going on first dates every weekend. It's like, it's pretty good.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. It seems like this is her spot. Like, it doesn't matter. And, like, also, she has a rapport with you no matter what. Like, I really don't think you have to. I don't think, like, if you say you're not interested, she's going to be like, I'm not coming here. I'm not going to tip you anymore. I don't think that it will happen exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think you just have. Whatever your response is, don't rock the boat too much because you got a nice thing going, and that's good enough, in my opinion.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. Yeah, I agree.

[Stavros Halkias]

But, yeah, good luck.

[Mike Mitchell]

The twos and threes that are. That are. Are having fun.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's doing her. Yeah. Can we. Can we. You know, we. We want to. We want to buy her a night out at this bar. So email Elvis with your information and we'll give you, like, a $200 credit for her because she is doing a service for probably Stav's world and Doughboy's listeners. I guarantee you some of the threes. This woman is fucked. Listen to one or both of our podcast.

[Mike Mitchell]

They're keeping a Doughboy shirt on while they have sex.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I'll tell you this much. The ones that she. Even if that's not true, there's plenty of them listening now. They're like, why isn't it me?

[Mike Mitchell]

It's her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hit us with something else, Mo.

[Mike Mitchell]

You know, I caught a. I just have to tell you, I caught a pass from Tom Brady. Ever tell you that?

[Stavros Halkias]

Whoa, that's. You did tell me that.

[Mike Mitchell]

I did. Where was brag about this already?

[Stavros Halkias]

What was the. What was the.

[Mike Mitchell]

I did a commercial shoot with, like. I did, like, he did a Funny or Die shoot and I did like a behind the scenes shoot with him and that one of the guy. I was in a sketch group, the Birthday Boys, and one of the guys worked at Funny or Die, and he and Brady, like, did this thing and then I was the extra shoot that day. So, like, in between takes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

I was like, going up to him being like, what's. I'm like, a super fan. And I was doing that.

[Stavros Halkias]

And the bit was your super fan?

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh, the bit was, I was a super fan. A super. And I am a super fan. Like, it honestly seemed like he hated me. And then I caught the pass when he threw me a pass, and I caught it, and then I pretended to hump the football and that, like, he loved me. Brady loved me after that. That's all it took. I was, like, pretending to the football and then Brady was like, from then on, I was like, Mitch the rest of the day. And his, like, handler guy was like, dude, Brady wants to Sign your jersey at the end of the day so.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have a sign.

[Mike Mitchell]

I gotta sign Brady from humping the football. Respect.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's what. That's what happens when you follow your comedic instincts, man.

[Mike Mitchell]

I had him sign a bunch of shit. He's. He signed. I worked at the Simpsons, which I didn't even tell you because I love this. I was growing up, but I worked there as an assistant to the writers. I was given a basketball that Conan.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which is different than writer's assistant. That's like. They don't let you in the room, they just make you get for them.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes. That means I'm getting buying 100 yogurts like every week.

[Stavros Halkias]

But hey, man, you're doing it to make Homer happen. Yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

There was a basketball that Conan and Greg Daniels and Rich Appel played basketball with, and all three of them signed it, and I had Brady sign that basketball.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome. That's awesome. And how many people of those was on the Epstein's flight log?

[Mike Mitchell]

Just me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just you, it sounds like. Yeah, but it's okay. You're clear now.

[Mike Mitchell]

Dude, it was just convenient.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you just caught. Yeah, yeah, somebody just caught like a leg. Like they had a layover and they're like, I'll just take Epstein's jet from. From Boston to, you know, Florida. I never got to the island. I was just. I was just getting to Tampa. What's up to my fun hunters? Oh, baby, it's summertime. I'm sweating. You can see. I city biked over here. I worked up a nice sweat. I can't wait. I've had a hard day of podcasting. I can't wait to get home. And you know what I'm gonna do? Crack open a delicious, refreshing twisted tea. That's right, Twisted tea. You know it, you love it. You know, you know all about, you know. We love to keep it twisted over here on this podcast. A delicious beverage, 5% alcohol by volume, brewed with real mother freakin Iced tea. Tastes good, goes down smooth. No pesky fizzy bubbles getting in the way of you enjoying a delicious beverage, alcoholic beverage responsibly. Of course you're gonna. Keeping it twisted doesn't mean not being responsible. You're gonna want to be responsible. And it's easy to do. They go down so smooth, they taste so good. They got different flavors. We're talking peach. We're talking half and half classic iced tea. Whatever it is, sometimes you want a little iced tea. Iced tea is a great summertime beverage. Twisted tea kicks it up that. That much Further of a notch you're gonna love. Look, you listen to this podcast. There's no way you just found out about Twisted Tea. They're perhaps our most beloved sponsor. They're the kind of sponsor that lets me in, lets me do a segment where it's, you know, we say shit, we say jizz, we say stuff like that. They're cool. So what you're going to want to do is crack open an ice cold can of Twisted Tea today, okay? Grab. Get it wherever you want. I don't. That's the thing. I don't get any fucking kickbacks here. I'm just trying to tell you about Twisted Tea. There's no fucking promo code. There's just general. I'm. I'm generally raising awareness for Twisted Tea. That's how much I care about the product. So here's what I want you to do. Do grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today and keep it twisted. What else we got? Mo?

[Mike Mitchell]

That's like my Italian friends.

[C]

Bobby, Big fan. Sorry, kind of awkward because this is a weird story and I haven't had a chance to discuss with people around me, so I figured I'd ask some advice from you. But I am 24 years old and I currently work as a caretaker for an elderly man whom I met on a sugar daddy website.

[Stavros Halkias]

Whoa.

[C]

You call it sex work if you want, but this, this guy is very physically weak. His mental health isn't great either. You know, he's 80 years old, he doesn't leave his house. He is also, you know, kind of obese for his age. We're £230. He doesn't get out of his recline the whole day and he can't get out without his walker. Pretty much pays me to give him showers and show him physical love like kissing, hugging, touching. But I mean, of course, his body's so weak, his penis doesn't work. So I don't consider it sex work in that way. I do genuinely see this job as a caretaker because that is what I'm doing. I put like antifungus cream on spots he can't reach. And he has cellulitis on his legs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good God.

[C]

He's not able to reach his legs or even feel his legs. So I have to put, you know, like white men and oils on his legs every day. And he's also deaf, so I. Someone's got to change his hearing aids from time to time. But just cut to the chase. This guy's pretty much in love with me and wants to marry me. And I've Made it clear to him that I'm really only there for the money that he pays me every week.

[Stavros Halkias]

Week, sure.

[C]

I mean, that's what it was made clear from the start. I'm looking for a sugar daddy to take care of.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[C]

So he gives me money. And I also never ask him about his will or anything about what I get when he's gone. If anything, he brings it up to me and asks what I want. And every time he asks me, I just tell him that I just want to save my money and I'm good with the arrangement that we already have now. But since he wants to marry me, I feel like I have nothing to lose if I marry him. And I know I'm pretty young, but I've got the time and energy for it and he doesn't have much time left. So if I just go for it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thanks, dude. What a turn of like, hey, I've made it very clear. I've made my boundaries very clear. Now I don't see the downside in marrying him.

[Mike Mitchell]

I could believe. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was an awful, awesome twist. That was an awesome twist.

[Mike Mitchell]

By the way, besides eight years old, she was just describing me. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Weak penis, doesn't work.

[Mike Mitchell]

Mental illness, cellulitis, fungus. I was like, this is everything that she's described. Like, can't touch his toes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Except he's, he weighs less than both of us.

[Mike Mitchell]

Did she say 230?

[Stavros Halkias]

230, 240, something like that?

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. But you know, I guess he's no muscle, you know, he's got a lot going, you know. You know, if I, if I, I was young, I would rather weigh like 300. Like that's actually a much healthier age. This is fascinating because I don't. I kind of see where she's coming from.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh, I don't. You and I. This is maybe again the divide here.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is, this is really cuz love and marriage means. Marriage means something to you.

[Mike Mitchell]

That means. Does not mean Cardinal law didn't even break it. Still, there's. I'm holding on. I'm grasping onto something.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is so funny too. A cardinal that covered for child molesters was at your confirmation. Like there's no more symbolic. You shouldn't believe in this institution. It's. It's like that you could go through.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you still like. Well, marriage is between two people that love each other. What are the church tells us.

[Mike Mitchell]

She, she. I mean, I like the idea of you who Look, I think she's 100 doing a service for this man who.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is paying you a nice amount. Yes.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, I hope. I hope he's paying her. Yeah, but he, like, he seems lonely. She's doing a good service for this guy, so I feel like if. And if he's. If he doesn't want to be lonely, I mean, it just is. All of the other side of it, of being married to him, and I don't know if he has any family or when he will pass away. It seems like he's not in great health. Like, that seems like a lot of stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, and by her luck, this motherfucker holds on 15 more years. So you get married and then he's just, like, around.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, like, I guess what I see it from is a purely business. Like, you know who. Fuck. It's like the Cole Smith pictures with that guy. I see that.

[Mike Mitchell]

I'm like, he seemed happy. I mean, he did seem.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's happy.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, he's happy. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the thing. But here's the thing, though. You don't. I think you've actually done a great job in being really honest and open here and, like, being like, hey, we met on a sugar daddy website. I'm not a. This is what I want to do. I'm not saying I'm not. I'm above this. But it's like, we have a specific. And you could even sit. Like, look, people get written into wills for less than what you're doing all day.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's also true.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. So you could be like, look, if you want to take care of. Like, look, I'll be here as a caretaker. As. Yes, Very specific kind of caretaker. Because these are the thing. He is lucky to have found you. Yeah, right. Like, there's not. They, like, not a lot of people are like. Like, there's women who are on the sugar daddy website that will hear this and be like, can I just suck him off? You know, like, that's. If I were you, I'd be like, let me just. You. I don't want to put ointment on your. Like, to me, it's way more gross to put ointment on him than to just suck him off a couple times. Right, right. You actually are providing a service that I think might be harder. Like a hot nurse that, like, gives you kisses, tells you you're a. A sexy old man, and, like, your dick doesn't work anyway, so you're providing kind of love to him and caretaking. Like, that's two separate jobs. You're two. You're a two for One right here. You are a special person in this guy's life. You do kind of. In my opinion, you don't. It's not crazy to be in his will, especially if he doesn't have other people. So you could say, look, I like our. I like our situation. I'm happy to do this work. It is a job to me. I want you to understand that. But it's like, but if you wanted, if you want to take care of me after you're gone, if you want to put me, I.

[Mike Mitchell]

You get.

[Stavros Halkias]

We can do that. But this is our relationship. If you want to, if you want to give me something in the will that I would really appreciate, you could even say that I'd really appreciate it. But this is what our dynamic is. Because as much as I see the like, like, you know, whatever, just get married and then you got the bag for your life. Like, even if this is 10, even in worst case scenario, it's like 10 year 15. It starts to get tough. 10 years though, you're 34 and a million. It's like, how much money does this guy have? Number one? 10 years. If you're 34 and you're a multi, you never have to work again in your life. That ain't so bad. But to be a little Mitchish right here, you know, I guess you shouldn't have to give away your prime youth to some rich guy. Like, yeah, because you. Because that's how bad, you know, the world is financially. So I say keep doing this job as long as you're comfortable with it. But I don't know, you know, and.

[Mike Mitchell]

You can say, is the marriage thing is that. Is it gonna be a thing of like, I am your. Like would. Are you still dating in that scenario? Like, right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you get the other guys? Like, what's. What about you, what you want? And I think may. It sounds like this girl is very like, like she's about her. Like, she seems very ethical about this whole thing where if she agrees to being in a monogamous relationship, she sounds the kind of person who would stay like that. Yeah, I don't think you need to do that. You're young, like. And this is the other thing. This is how up. This is how up inequality is. The fact that this girl even has to think about this. The fact that you have to do this, like just a guy, you even if you don't despise him, it's like this. You're 24. Or to make ends meet, you have to rub cream on some old guy's Dick. It's like you don't really deserve. Like you don't deserve to also marry him. You're gonna give that away too. It's like and, and again, I get it. Life is a nightmare. You might be supporting other people, whatever. You're in a good enough middle ground here where you could say, look, I like doing this, it's fine. But I don't, I'm. I don't want to romance, I want to keep, you know, I want to see other people, whatever. If you want to put me in the will, great. But you know, I think there is ultimately as much of a cynic as I am. Yeah, I think you are right. And be like marriage is in theory. Now look, if you have some kind of weird thing where he's like, I don't whoever you want.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, just be.

[Stavros Halkias]

If it's like some kind of weird Donald non racist Donald Sterling situation where he's like, you let guys you. But you know, you still have to come here and sleep here. Whatever that's possible. But I don't know, dude. At the end of the day I don't know that it's that necessary.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. I think you have to. You just like you're saying you have to make yourself be happy. Whatever that in the ointment side of it sounds not happy. It sounds horrible. And I, and I get that you have to. Yeah. It's that shitty thing about life. Like this is you're making money off of this and it, and it, and it seems like it's going well but like will you be happy in that scenario? And that's the only question you have to ask yourself, himself and, and, and it's a tough, it's tough. It's a tough one.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's brutal. Don't do it.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And this is, this is really the like, you know, in terms of how our societies, both these people, their story is sad.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like this guy has clearly worked. Like that's the thing. It's like nobody should feel, you know, sorry for billionaires, whatever. But there is a loneliness to like you work so hard that you have no one in your life life to take care of you. He doesn't have kids, he doesn't have anything. He has to go on a sugar baby website to find someone to change his diapers. How you think he doesn't regret? You don't think he'd be better off having half as much money but a loving family and this girl. It's like inequality is so bad that a 24 year old has to be a fucking unregistered sex worker. Nurse.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

To make ends meet. It's like this is up for both of them. This is how up our current system is. It's just insane how like how much inequality and like, you know, how bad capitalism has gotten where it's like no one is doing well except absolutely. Except, you know, ghoul like Jeff Bezos who campaigns workers. But it's a 50 million dollar wedding in Venice or whatever the.

[Mike Mitchell]

It does a great job with the Amazon streaming service except.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, and check out Tomorrow War on the Amazon streaming service. Let's just say I canvassed the market for stand up specials and I feel a little better about shit talking Amazon prime right now.

[Mike Mitchell]

They're all fucking. Fucking sarandos. Netflix sucks.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean it's just like. It's like, it is true. It's like inequality in any way, shape or form. Having this many billionaires is just fucked up. Like no one needs the kind of money where like when you get to the point where it's just a number on a fucking screen and you're willing to ruin other people's lives. Lives so that a number that does not affect your life goes up. You're a piece of. There's no way around that. You know what I mean?

[Mike Mitchell]

Tech guys being like, we get art now too. Like we get to be in charge.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, you don't.

[Mike Mitchell]

You don't get to. You can't.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have fucking bad taste. Yeah, that's the whole thing. And, and we got cult. The only thing we end like culture compared to like the actual levers of power, we don't have much. Right? Yeah, we really can't affect things that much. All we can do is not allow these guys guys to be cool. That's all we agree with. So stop with this bull. Stop doing AI art. It sucks. It sucks dicks. It's not. It all is the same. It's not that creative. It's like, well, you need to see a guy. Oh look, it's a guy. I know, but he's a baby. Who cares?

[Mike Mitchell]

That's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who gives a about Bobby Lee as a baby? Don't do that to this podcast. I know we look cute. We're both fat. We're both cute babies.

[Mike Mitchell]

I kind of do want to see the baby versions of us.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just do the last one. I'll show you the real baby pictures. But we don't need this bullshit anyway. Whatever. It's just like, it sucks. And so good luck. Don't get married. Keep making your bag in a way that makes you comfortable. But don't sell even, you know, matrimony. Not to get, you know, look, some.

[Mike Mitchell]

Of the AI stuff like turning Lois Griffin from a cartoon into like a, like a big girlfriend that will you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Once we get that, I'm in. Yeah, yeah. Turning Lois, giving Lois a wet dripping pussy that I can get behind. But that's it. Saying you're so pansome. Stavros getting Lois's name, getting Lois's voice to say you're a big boy and your dick's not that small. That's okay. But everything else has to stop.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's fine.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, what we need is sexy redheads with big tits learning how to do Lois's voice. We're stealing. There's a girl on Onlyfans. That was her job. She used to do Jois and Lois's voice and we've taken the money out of her fucking pocket with these fucking pieces of shit.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's sad. It's a fucking. It's a bummer. If you look at my for you on Instagram, it's like all it is just like margin low, like coming to life. That's all it is. Those AI videos.

[Stavros Halkias]

So fucking funny. Mine are still, still just. Mine are still just flesh and blood big titted women.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's how you see. You see so many clearly. AI this speaking of the loneliness thing, you'll see like an 80 year old big tittied grandma.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh dude, I've seen those. And then you just.

[Mike Mitchell]

And it's also so. It's so clearly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sorry, I'm trying to find my for you page. Keep talking.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's so clearly fake that you're like. And then you just look at the comments and it's just all these old guys being like looking good and you're like, oh God, this is like, it's just going to get worse.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's going to get so much for.

[Mike Mitchell]

Us if we make it to 80, knock on wood.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, dude. Yeah, they're going to have that like. And I'm, I'm already. Here's how. How effective it is. I'm just looking at girls tits right now.

[Mike Mitchell]

Just.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm in the middle of a podcast and they. Dude, they. What's really. What's really.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, look at, look at my for you page. And then look, just look at it all. And then look at the left corner here.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's incredible.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's an incredible. It's the incredible mom lady coming to life.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's a lot of that. There's Peter, there's Peter with Anyway, with.

[Mike Mitchell]

A sexy Latina, AI sucks. It's hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is horrible.

[Mike Mitchell]

I do feel like people now if like there's nothing to lose. And people are like, there is like now a final turn. And I've seen so many people, like I told you, like Bugmane, a couple other people who are like Armin. Who are like making their own, just making their own. And it's like doing well. You know what I mean? Like that's like. And that's exciting to me.

[Stavros Halkias]

I really, I mean I, I. And I might be wrong, but I do think that we are in a, in a place where I hope we're gonna get entertainment that's like, like, like it's especially in film that's kind of like we're gonna have an indie revolution.

[Mike Mitchell]

I hope like the 70s or 90s.

[Stavros Halkias]

70S and 90s. I think we're due for that. Because like, I think because they've made it so hard to make good stuff.

[Mike Mitchell]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because there's no money anywhere.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like creative people have to have to be so good.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So good. With a limited budget that like writing, vision, acting, that has to be good. So good that it breaks through.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And we have to, we're gonna take our lumps maybe for a couple more years. And it might not even be us, unfortunately. We might get fucked. It might be the kids after us. But I do think Knock on Wood will get that. But that might just not be it either.

[Mike Mitchell]

Like the six year old guy they put in their movie or whatever. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Mike Mitchell]

Also your show, like your Netflix show is an example of that. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Shane paid for that himself. He was like, I believe in this. I'm gonna put up my own money. And you know, they let us do that. And then, you know, season one was good, but season two, they actually gave us a writer, you know, John McKeever and Gerben. They gave him a real writers room. They, they actually. We got to do it for real. And you see and they gave us some real actors. Thomas Hayden Church. We both, who we've both worked with. He's awesome. He's so, so great. It was so cool to be like we're just a bunch of comedians. And it's like you let us actually, you give us a budget, you give us some time, you give us real actors to play off of.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it, everything got elevated. And I do hope and look, Shane is a fucking. He's selling out arenas like it's crazy that it takes that somebody that famous and that talented to get a shot like that.

[Mike Mitchell]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I hope they will see that from that you get guy people that are less famous, you know that. You know, I. There's a movie that look like the A24's got a movie. Looks really interesting, I think. Sorry, baby.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's their name? What's the. The person who did that? But I saw a trailer for that. It looked fucking incredible.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh, right, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Victor.

[Mike Mitchell]

It was directed and she's in it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or they. I think they. I'm sorry, I don't. I don't know. I saw. I think I saw a. An interview, but it was just like I didn't know anything about this movie and it's clearly a super personal story and just the trailer seemed good, but it's like, you know, they let me make a movie.

[Mike Mitchell]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Like. And mine was 750, whatever. But it's like I hope that we're going to. And like you said your. Your friends are making. And so.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, Arman and Nick. Arman. Arman Weissman. Nick Kasi made a movie in 10 days. And then I don't know if I can even say what, but like, it's gotten a lot of good, like stuff is coming from. And I'm like, good for those. It's awesome. I love.

[Stavros Halkias]

So anyway, go make stuff. If you need to wipe some lotion to save up to make. To like fund your life and then, you know, find a. A more fulfilling life later, that's good. But it's like, that's the tough thing.

[Mike Mitchell]

Is like I can't tell this person to not like, not make money that they make. You know what I mean? Like. Like you're 24 years old. You're very. You're very young. Like there's a lot of life ahead of you and just do what will make you happy. And like, that is. That is a tough. That's a tough situation to be.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. Totally.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, but you're right, it is too. It's. It's a sad on either end. It's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

And even these people who. I really don't have empathy for the super rich because they are ruining people's lives for ego reasons or because they've. Everything is so empty that it's like, you know, they're soaking the middle class and trying to pretend it's for other reasons, but I wouldn't trade places with them. You know what I mean? Like, I really. It's crazy to say that you wouldn't. You have a loving family of all this, it's like. And legit. Part of me is also scared because I'm like, if you just keep chase. I've been very lucky. But I also see a path where it's like, all I care about is keep getting successful.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And forget everything else. And I'll be this guy.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'll be 80 being like, you're my wife. I love you. To some hot 24 year olds. Like, like, just please don't go. I can't. I can't.

[Mike Mitchell]

Jack me off with some ointment.

[Stavros Halkias]

Please jack me off. I won't even know the difference. Just tell me I came. I'll believe you anyway.

[Mike Mitchell]

You will not be. You will not be that. I won't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hopefully. Hopefully not.

[Mike Mitchell]

I'll pull a. Yeah, One flew over. I'll end it before that happens.

[Stavros Halkias]

Here's with another one. Big. Yeah. I really don't want to be that guy.

[Mike Mitchell]

By the way, when I was referencing Italians, my Italian buddies from back home were always like, what's going out there in Hollywood, Mikey? My full blooded Italian buddies are like, what's going on?

[Stavros Halkias]

They make me do gay yet. How'd you get on Twisted Metal? You have to suck the clown's dick. The clown make you suck his dick in the ice cream truck? Mike, you could tell us. We'll find him. They think he's real. We'll find him.

[C]

Him.

[Stavros Halkias]

We'll up every guy in an ice cream truck till we find that clown. Who made you suck him off?

[Mike Mitchell]

I made that choice on my own. Damn it.

[Stavros Halkias]

We were two grown adults. We hit it off. You know, he's a really sweet guy when you get to know him. All right, what else we got?

[C]

Hey, Savvy. First time, long time. I had a question about parents and social media. So my fiance's dad just got an Instagram and I wouldn't have added him if it weren't for the fact that he brought it up on the phone. And I couldn't just be like, dude, I'm not going to follow you. I'm not going to let you follow me. But now that he is, anytime I post anything, he's always just like saying nice pics or cool shots. These are really generic messages to every story I post, every actual tile I post my Instagram. I know I could just do close friends, but I recognize that he's really trying to reach out. And, you know, we don't really talk very often. They live in a different state in different city, so we don't get to see each other that often either. And I kind of want to, I don't know, respond appropriately, but I actually don't know what to say to these messages or what he's trying to convey. And so what I'm asking for is give me tips on how to reply to a future father in law that's maybe replying to every single one of my stories with a real boomerang message of Annie. Sweet responses. Or maybe ways I should think about this and maybe even tackle it, since it's obviously making me feel weird. Thanks, love you. Bye.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, this is hard because it's like, yes, he doesn't mean any. He's actually trying to be nice. And yeah, my mom uses Instagram. She has no idea.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's like she. And if he responds to everything you say, it's because he follows seven people. Yeah, he follows, like, everyone in your family. Like Wolf Blitzer or some bullshit. Just some guy.

[Mike Mitchell]

And he's probably replying to Wolf Blitz Y. Yeah, exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good one, Wolf. Get them. Get those extreme liberal Muslims and get. You know what I mean? Like, like, yeah, I saw you in Mission Impossible.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, this is. This is. This is a. This is a fun one.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's fun.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's cute. It's cute.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it is interesting. Like, well, first of all, it's on your husband or future husband to talk to his dad. Dad about his Instagram.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes, that's true. Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Like. Like, if. If in the. You know, if my mom was acting up, I wouldn't tell my girlfriend to be like, you should talk to my mom and tell her, stop commenting on your. I'd be like, ma, stop commenting.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? Like, you're. Or you're overdoing it or just like, just give it a. Like, you don't have to comment on everything.

[Mike Mitchell]

And if. And if he's like, oh, like, did she say something about it? Just have your boyfriend be like, no, I noticed. I saw it.

[Stavros Halkias]

I saw it. And it's just like, you don't have to comment on everything. Like, yeah, that's not how people use Instagram, because I think they don't know the etiquette.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, they, they're just like, they think it's. They think. You texted them, essentially. Yeah, they responded. Every time you post something, it's like, it's like they. You like, oh, they just sent me a picture. It's like, great picture.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, looking great, Sally.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's. That's where my. Like, I'm like, if you wrote back and we're just like, oh my God. God, I missed so many messages. I'm so sorry. Which is probably just Instagram. Like no, I don't look at my Instagram inbox. Like it's email or whatever. So you're just like, I missed all these messages. I'm sorry. He might not even reply to that message. He just might reply to a story later and you'll know like, oh, he just doesn't. He's just replying to anything he sees.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I also think ultimately this is harmless.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. And like if it's not horny in any way, like that's.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't think it's. I don't think it's horny. I don't, I don't think if it's horny, there's an easier solution. I don't think that's horny. I think it's just purely. He's just like, he's over. Honestly, to read between the lines, she's just embarrassed that her father in law comments on every post. She's just embarrassed that people that don't know her very well just see some old guy being like, cool shot.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? It's like, look, I hate to break it to you, this is part of getting married.

[Mike Mitchell]

I mean 100% you're washed. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're getting washed, bro. That's. This is what you're signing up for. This is part of life.

[Mike Mitchell]

And so your in laws are gonna be fucking annoying. That is it.

[Stavros Halkias]

So I think you just have to live with him being a constant presence and just say to your. And now look, if you wanted to get diabolical with it, you could restrict him.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because that way other people don't see it. But you could also. But you could occasionally unrestrain and like, like. Or you could like it or.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or you could reply to him only in DMs so it doesn't look like. But I think occasionally hitting him with a thanks Mark.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exclamation point is not the end of the world.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean?

[Mike Mitchell]

That made me feels like, that feels like the, like liking what he's. I mean if, if it doesn't bother, if what he's saying doesn't bother you. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hit it with a heart.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And move on and just realize that yes. This part of getting married. You're now, you know, know, it could be worse. These could be horny ones. It's like you didn't look, you didn't get the best case scenario. Which is they don't hit you up at all on social media. But you didn't get the worst case, which is they're weird. They're weird. Or they're getting political or they're like. But in some ways, this is the worst one, because he's just annoying enough that you can never call him out on it.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But if he ever started saying it, you almost have to goad him into a political discussion. You almost be like, you know, you almost have to, like, you put like, like, free Palestine. And if he's a Zionist and hoping to, like, goad him into an argument and then be like, all right, great, he's. Now I get.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, you don't want to start draw. You don't want to.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you don't want to do that. You don't want to do that. Right. You want, like, you want to just not listen to him at all. Like, if. If you have political differences with an in law, you want to ignore that because it's like, so basically, you don't want to rock the boat. You just want to do that. And if it's anyone's job, it's your fiance to tell. To tell him. Like, hey, dial it back a little bit. You can just, like, things, you know, make a rule where you only comment every three pictures or something.

[Mike Mitchell]

I was gonna say the restriction thing is maybe not a bad idea, but, like, is she one of the. Like, you said, like, one of the seven people. Put them on the restriction list. With my Instagram, it's me and the dad together. But, like, put him. Put him. Put him. Put him on there. And like, but if he's one of seven people that he. If you're one of seven people he follows. He will. He. He. He will notice.

[Stavros Halkias]

And also he'll be able to tell if, like, other people aren't seeing his comments.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes. Yeah, Instagram.

[Stavros Halkias]

And be like, hey, my comment's not showing up. So it's like, you don't want to start playing these mind games. You don't have to start worrying this much. You just have to stop. I think the, the subtext here is you still. You're a little worried about your Instagram being cool. Sorry, man. This is part of. This is part of growing up.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's the best advice of all, is never let Instagram drama affect actualized. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that. That's like, put your phones away, man. And I know it is like, yeah, yeah, like, when I'm posting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, don't let that bother you. Oh, are we doing a podcast?

[Mike Mitchell]

The Cleveland show coming to life.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm literally texting somebody back right now. I. I make the joke and I'm.

[Mike Mitchell]

Just like, you did see something that caught you. Yeah, I can't. You can't. I spent so much time like being like, I gotta post this thing for work or whatever and it does just put me to a place where I'm like, I just hate. I hate Instagram. And it is, it is just a worthless thing in the end. So, you know, your. Your in law posting embarrassing stuff every so often. Who gives a. Really.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not.

[Mike Mitchell]

Not to. Not to dismiss the issue, but.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it's a tough. This is part of growing up, babe.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And yeah, just like, you know, maybe have your. Have your husband talk to him if it really is. If it's getting way too annoying, but hit the man with a, like, hit him with an occasional thanks, whatever. That's it. He has to figure out that's how Instagram works.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Play us another one. Play us. Play us a voicemail. You're the mo man playing some voicemail.

[Mike Mitchell]

Do you just. Do you hate Boston? Cuz. Ravens, Patriots. Is that the. Is that the. Is that like the. That's it, right? There's no other reason.

[Stavros Halkias]

I also don't like the Celtics.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh, really? Why? Oh, it's sorting Nicks.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's also. Although you know what? I did like the first KG team because I loved kg.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The thing is like, I was a Nomad NBA fan for a while because Baltimore had no teams and I couldn't like, you know, D.C. and Baltimore just. I hate when people pick up a surrounding city.

[Mike Mitchell]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's one thing if you don't. If you live in a small town and you pick up the biggest, you're just like, oh, that's the big city around us. But it's like we're two completely different cities with different identities. I'm not going to root for their NBA team. So I would always like, pick and choose like people to root for. So I really liked the. I liked the. I really liked the, you know, know, Kings when they were against the Lakers. And I liked the. And the KG was one of my guys because he's just so. Allen Iverson was like my. I love that.

[Mike Mitchell]

I love that.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then KG was my guy. And then when he got traded, I was like, I. I'm rooting for him, whatever. But then I think probably with Boston it was like, I don't know exactly. I think it. First of all, it translates like the sports hate goes. So it's like Orioles, Yankee, it's like in baseball, you know, not that we were that good ever, but it was like, I got annoyed that you guys were winning too much.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, I mean, it was like.

[Mike Mitchell]

Which is the flip.

[Stavros Halkias]

The Reds. I know, but not. It was the flip when your, you know, grandparents. I'm tired of people my age talking about it was so hard. It wasn't hard for you.

[Mike Mitchell]

I wasn't a kid. It was actually perfect for me. And then, like, they.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. So I don't want to hear that from young Boston fans who are like, we went through it. It's like, no, your grandfather, father went through it. You didn't go through. Right. So it was the kind of thing where it was like, they were winning too much.

[Mike Mitchell]

And then we did become annoying. I agree with that. Bostonians became.

[Stavros Halkias]

Boston just became annoying overall. And then from a. From a basketball standpoint, what I kind of glommed on to. I was a Knicks fan, obviously, but I was like, I kind of was rooting for LeBron against the war. The warriors annoyed me, especially after they got KD. So I became more of a. I became a LeBron guy. And then. Then LeBron became, like, this symbol of my youth.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it's like, as long as LeBron's still there, it's like I'm. I'm still a child. Like, I remember. I remember him. I remember hearing about LeBron when I was in middle school, dude. Like, that's how long my relationship to this guy has been.

[Mike Mitchell]

And I hated. Celtics hate LeBron.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Like, they hate LeBron. So it was like, rooting for LeBron ended up kind of like, I. And then the New York for. So it's like, Baltimore has a natural. The Ravens and the Patriots and then New York and, you know, moving to New York and being like, I kind of. Because I'm a Knicks fan, I've adopted the Knicks. I've been there 10 years. So anyway, it's just a general. Too much winning. All these things that I was rooting for kind of were clashing against Boston enough that I was just like, Boston sports.

[Mike Mitchell]

I mean, cool Boston people will be like, our fans are annoying. They know that we are too annoying.

[Stavros Halkias]

With a lot of.

[Mike Mitchell]

But, like, I mean, I remember watching do the Right Thing and be like, I don't like this movie. They're mean to. And then watching it again, Isn't it adult to be like, oh, all right. Instead of them being mean about Larry Bird. That's just, like, so over my head.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

But, like, it did feel it does it. That. That like us against the world. I mean, that's any city. Of course.

[Stavros Halkias]

Every city in the world.

[Mike Mitchell]

But like we did. I was like 18 and we had sucked at like the Red Sox sucked. And that was my favorite.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I. That's the irony is I loved the Red. The first Red Sox comeback.

[Mike Mitchell]

That was great because it was like.

[Stavros Halkias]

The Yankees first and foremost. The Red Sox weren't great. And it was like, cool.

[Mike Mitchell]

That team is also. There's like so many pie pieces of. But yes. But then the further we.

[Stavros Halkias]

And if. Like this. If the Red Sox had never won a. Again.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think I still would have affection for the Red Sox. It's like. It's so cool they. The Yankees. Because the Yankees. But yeah, since then they've won too much. Everyone has been a piece of everyone, you know, so it's like.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's a test for me. If I saw a shilling and was like, if I would be like, thank you, sir. I think I still would just be like, thank you for everything. I wouldn't be able to. This guy's sucks. It still is broken in my head. Totally.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, but the bloody sock. The bloody sock work should get to be racist. He should be allowed a little bit of racism because of what he saw.

[Mike Mitchell]

First video game company. Whatever the. He did. I was also. You won't like this either, but I was at that playoff game with.

[Stavros Halkias]

You told me about this.

[Mike Mitchell]

I'm sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, no. You told me about this because I had just done Edelman's podcast. I held the ball.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, because you were at the.

[Stavros Halkias]

The. You were at the. The game where Edelman threw a touchdown against the Ravens on a trick play. And he literally. He literally. He literally. Yes, and he literally let me hold it. And I was like, you have to take this away from me. Like, I was like, I'm going to this ball up. Like, I'm in his home. He's giving me like a. And I'm like, the. The Mongo Ravens fan kicks in. I'm like, give me a knife. You call you piece of. That was our year, anyway.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, that was you guys. It's funny because I've always. I mean, this is the. The. You know the advantage you get when you just win a lot where I'm like, I have no bad feelings towards the Ravens. I kind of was rooting for him.

[Stavros Halkias]

The last few years. You get to have that benevolent, like, well, if it couldn't have been us, I wish it would. It's like, shut the up you wanted it. You wouldn't say that if you lost you. But anyway, yeah, yeah, that's. I'm glad we got that all on record though. It's important folks. You know, we're Ridge boys around here. You know they make high quality mother freaking wallets. We're talking luggage. Premium everyday gear. You know how much I love. I have a little Ridge backpack. I have the wallet. I got it all. I don't know if you know this though. They're doing their legendary sweepstakes for the fifth time. And this time it's legitimately buck wild. I mean two lucky winners will get to choose between a $300,000 Lamborghini Hurricane Huracan Strada, $150,000 Hennessy Velociraptor or 100k in cold hard American cash. That's insane. The first of all, the Lambo, it's an off road super like supercar. Like it's not usually the problem with these fucking with like a luxury car is like they're low as shit to the ground. If you're fat as shit like me or eldest, you can't even drive over a speed bump without scraping all the fucking. All the, all the gear underneath. This thing is a, it's an off road supercar. It's insane. Sick. A V10 with 610 horsepower. I mean truly out of this world. And look. So is that a little. I don't really know unless you're trying to. You're. You're James Bond. I don't know why the you would need that car. But it's sick as maybe you want something a little, a little more practical. That's also awesome. The Hennessey Velociraptor. Sick. The Raptor, I mean, you know, it's a big ass Ford. It's pretty. It's mostly the. The most big dickin ford truck possible. 558 horsepower, twin turbo. It's an American muscle car put into an all terrain truck. I think, honestly I've never been a truck. I think of the three I would pick that because that's just. First of all, I am still too. Even if it's an off road supercar, I'll be in that fucking Lambo like this. I would take the Velociraptor because it's awesome. And so here's the thing. It's completely free to enter. Just go to ridge.com no, you know, go right there. If you want to boost your odds, every dollar you spend on Ridge's site gets you one additional entry so grab a Ridge wallet, power bank, phone case, whatever you need and rack up those entries. Ready to upgrade your wallet and maybe your ride? For a limited time only, head to ridge.com and use code STAVI at checkout for 10% off your order and a chance to win Ridge's biggest sweepstakes ever. A Lamborghini Huracan Stado, a Hennessy Velociraptor or $100,000 in cash. No purchase necessary to enter, but every dollar you spend, you get more entries. That's Ridge. That's Ridge.com and use Stavi after your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them we sent you. What else we got, little Momo. Hey, Stavi, I'll try to keep it short and sweet for you, all right? I'm going to the gym and these. These teenagers are bullying me, bro. Like, I don't know what the to do, bro. They'll like, follow me while I'm working out and just like, you know, make fun of my outfit or like my form. I don't know what the I did to these kids, but they got it out for me, dude. And I can't whoop the shit out of them because they're minors. And I want to be like a little bitch and go up to the staff and be like, oh, no, these.

[C]

Kids are making fun of me.

[Mike Mitchell]

Can you ban them?

[Stavros Halkias]

So, like, I don't know what to do, bro. Like, I just do. I stoop to their level and like, I don't know, you shake their hand and then pull it away real fast and go, oh, not so slick, huh? No, you know, like, what the fuck? How do I get these little shits back, bro? Okay, because they're these jacked fucking 16 year old with their ego out of their mind and like, there's no stopping them, bro. Dude, I was trying to get water and these little start barking at me.

[Mike Mitchell]

These kids sound funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

What am I supposed to do to that? Dobby, please help me out, bro. How do I get back at these kids without breaking the law? Do I just wait till they're old enough to like, kick the out of them or, like, sounds like they beat you up.

[Mike Mitchell]

They beat him up right now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Every time I go to the gym, I already know what to expect. These motherfuckers, dude. And I just. Lately I've just been putting in my earbuds and just ignoring them, you know, but they. That doesn't keep them from like, you know, dogging on me. I don't know what the I did to these kids? All right, man, let me know. Actually, wait, wait, wait, wait. Y' all are gonna say some info is missing here. I think he did do something for the kids. They were just making fun of me, and I was like, chicken jockey. And then. I don't know why I said that.

[Mike Mitchell]

But after that, you blew it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Follow me around going, chicken jockey. Chicken jockey. You blew it. Chicken jockey guy.

[Mike Mitchell]

I hope this call ends with him getting his ass kicked by the kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

The first time, bro. Now I got your attention anyway, man. All right, let me know. Love you.

[C]

Stop.

[Mike Mitchell]

Love you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ld Love you guys. Yeah. I mean, you're kind of. This is like the thing in prison where they're like, you have to. You only get to make one first impression. Your fault at this gym. Unless you become, like, funny. Like, clearly they had your ass. You were. You were mad, and then you got. You tried to get back at them with a lame ass comeback.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they probably. If you just ignore them, they probably would have left you alone eventually. But you tried to hit them back with. And you had nothing.

[Mike Mitchell]

Can I say that this is the most embarrassing call of the day?

[Stavros Halkias]

It's the worst one, dude. It's. And I mean, look at the end. Also, this is a nightmare, right?

[Mike Mitchell]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

100 teenagers, like, groups of teens bullying you is.

[Mike Mitchell]

It's happened to me my whole.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

My whole life.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't want. You want to avoid this. Like, I think.

[Mike Mitchell]

Do you know. Do you know how my high school, I went to private school for one. My parents sent me to private school because I was a up. And they sent me to private school my freshman year and your freshman year.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Mike Mitchell]

And we've since buried the hatchet. We text about this, but the guy who was mean to me I first met was Ryan Whitney, who's a professional hockey player. Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He does a barstool hockey podcast.

[Mike Mitchell]

We buried the. The hatch. It was not even. Like, it wasn't even. And he was like, I don't remember it that way. Was kind of like what it was, but it was.

[Stavros Halkias]

No bully ever does, by the way.

[Mike Mitchell]

It was that sort of thing where I was just like, if I, like, stand up this bull, he's like, he's gonna kick the out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, I love that. Like, you just. They're just as afraid of you. It's like, no, they're not.

[Mike Mitchell]

Some are not their.

[Stavros Halkias]

They were. They. Their mother was on meth with. They gave birth to them. They don't have fear. The fear part of their brain was burned out.

[Mike Mitchell]

These Kids are barking at him. He's not. Dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they smell blood in the water. Like, this is just like any bullying situation, except you're a grown man and their children, and you got nothing. And it's like, you can go full.

[Mike Mitchell]

Beta if they bark at you, like, meow at them and, like, become. And, like, just be like, I'm a little weirdo freak and be. And, like, have them own you for the rest of your. Have them own you forever. Or get. You can go to a new gym, I guess.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, you got to go to a new gym. You're. I mean, it's funny because he thinks he could beat them up, but it doesn't. Is he jacked?

[Mike Mitchell]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, we need a little more info. It's like, are they more physically imposing? Like, are they. Because if you're jacked and they're still mocking you, that's even more hilarious.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes. They don't respect you at all.

[Stavros Halkias]

They completely. They completely have owned you. You ruined it with Chicken Jockey.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. It is kind of on you in a lot of ways. I. I like. I think that these guys are. I mean, you could do the earnest thing and just be like, hey, no. I mean, it's over.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have to. I mean, if you really. The only way out is through, like, just schoolyard tactics.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, you just have to bully them back. But I don't think you have it in you. I mean, you have to just accuse them of being gay with each other. That's all children understand. It's like, you know, know, say, you know, you know, call them literally. You have to just stoop to the level of being a. But that might backfire on you, too. Like, they might be gay, but they're like, yeah, we're gay. We just sucked each other off on the f. In the. You know, in our car before lifting. Like, kids now. You never know. Right. It's like, what kind of kids are these? Because the thing is, there are. There is that type of, like, weird Andrew Tate, meathead, conservative kid.

[Mike Mitchell]

Sure. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That. It's like, those kids, you can get by just accusing them of being gay.

[Mike Mitchell]

I like the divide here, too, where I was like, get on all fours and, like, become, like, have them own you, and you're like, bully them back.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, but those are the two paths, though. It's be so weird. They're like, what the. Or, like, you have to fight back. It's just usually not. We don't tell an adult man to do this. Yes or. Yeah, just put your headphones in and ignore them. But it's like, I don't think I can. Could take doing that. And I, I would just have to. I would try to bully them back, but I don't think, honestly, I don't think I would ever be in this predicament, man. I think, I think you just fucked up so bad and your vibes are those of a guy that gets bullied.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, I think you're right. First of all, you're very funny. You would come up with something.

[Stavros Halkias]

But even me, this is my job. It would take all my powers and it would be a coin flip. There's still a chance these teams own me. Right, but. So it's like, it's a hard proposition. This is worse than anything. Like, is this a guy your age? You're just like, shut the fuck up, man. I'm going, I'm fucking working out.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. Why are you 40 year old, man?

[Stavros Halkias]

If it's somebody your age, you're like, dude, shut the fuck up. And that. If it's somebody your age, you could even literally tattle because you're like, hey man, I. I paid too much fucking money this gym to be annoyed by this guy. Yeah, but when it's children. Yeah, they be. Everyone be like, you're gonna tell on these children. Like, you're just really fucked here, dude. You have to get a new gym. You're a pussy. You're not gonna be able to handle it. There's no getting around. There's just no getting around.

[Mike Mitchell]

I think he's. I think you're right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's. This is like getting bedbugs. It's like you have to just move you. When you get. When you have teen bullies at your gym, there's no treatment for that other.

[Mike Mitchell]

Than bully them back, I guess. You know, the other thing that maybe will work is if they're trying to be funny and acting like it's not funny. I think that is. I mean, that always matter to me as a teen, but I feel like as a, as a gaggle of teens.

[Stavros Halkias]

It won't work because they don't respect you anyway. Like. And in fact all that matters is it's funny to them. Yeah. You know?

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, he's.

[Stavros Halkias]

And the only way is to under like now the way you get around this by cuz. Here's the other thing. They all have insecure. They're teens, right? They all have insecurities. They all have their own pro. Like, the only way you have to do is to Machiavellian study these teens. There's one who's the leader that they all kind of secretly hate? He has a secret. Like, you have to embarrass. Like, you have to really like.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. Follow these kids home.

[Stavros Halkias]

You literally have to like, do surveillance. You have to hire a private detective to see what these kids hopes and dreams are and like, crush them that way. And unless you're willing to do that level of like, work into this, you're not going to be able to pull this off.

[Mike Mitchell]

I have an alt.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

Get some foam weights like that, like, say like £150. Just pretend that you're strong dude in.

[Stavros Halkias]

The world that is smart.

[Mike Mitchell]

That will maybe scare them. But you're. And it sounds like maybe you deserve some of the bullying.

[C]

So sorry about that.

[Stavros Halkias]

It does sound like you're so worked up about this. Like, part of the problem is if kids, like called me fat or whatever and I was like, working, I'd be like, good one, you. Then I'd move on. Like, I don't care. Go it. You know what I mean? I. I would just like accuse. I would just be like, go do tik tok dances and suck each other off and that'd be like. And I. And I would just leave. And then, like. And then what are they gonna do? Fight me?

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, like, you just. You were affected by teenagers mocking you.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's true.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're. And the fact that you care enough to even call in means you're done. Go to a. Yeah, go to a.

[Mike Mitchell]

Go to a new gym. You lost your gym.

[Stavros Halkias]

You lost your gym to children, man.

[Mike Mitchell]

I do understand getting of being afraid of teens. I understand that is. They are. They are in good shape. I think they could kick.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, there's no one more ruthless than teens in the right situation.

[Mike Mitchell]

That's like the meanest. I. I will never. That like, I can make fun of myself because of being.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I went to Baltimore City public schools. Like, that's part of why you have. You learn how to make fun of each. You. You have to learn how to make fun of someone to survive. To survive.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. And you. You blew it.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you don't have it. Chicken jockey. What the were you thinking?

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. Did you see the movie? Did you? Well, whatever. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hit us with one to go out on here. A little mo. And by the way, we. We didn't plug anything. Please listen to doughboys. Twisted metal. This will probably come out. This probably come out in a month, honestly.

[Mike Mitchell]

So it will be actually, Honestly, the finale will probably be close to. It's the. The finale is the end Of. Of August. Cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

Perfect.

[Mike Mitchell]

Perfect.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, this will come out at some point.

[Mike Mitchell]

I love it.

[Stavros Halkias]

And maybe it'll be early August, but go to Peak, go to the cop, download the. And watch Mike baby. And of course listen to Doughboys, which legit has become like my favorite podcast.

[Mike Mitchell]

You're a good man.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love, I love fat. I love fast food as much as you guys and I really am not kidding where I'm like, I will do the podcast ever twice a. Like if I lived here and you guys had fallouts, I would be like, I'll do it.

[Mike Mitchell]

We would have you on all the time. And you knew. You immediately knew. Exactly. I mean that's how Nick and I bought Nick, who is not even really a fat guy much at all anymore, but Nick Wagner, my co host, is like, we were just both loved fast.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

Like we, we genuinely and just soberly discussing it.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's like the jokes happen by accident, but the point is to actually.

[Mike Mitchell]

Like when we were hanging out, that's my comedy career. Yeah. Jokes happening by act.

[Stavros Halkias]

But when we were in D.C. me, you, me, you and Gabriel were legitimately just like talking about other chains. Like, like, and we were like really talking. Like it was like a debate, a true debate.

[Mike Mitchell]

You went and got and pizza on your own.

[Stavros Halkias]

I needed to be a part of the conversation.

[Mike Mitchell]

I loved it. Yeah, you're always, you're always welcome to be.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you, brother.

[Mike Mitchell]

I go to Hawaii.

[C]

So I have a question. I was flying a lot this past month and so back to back flights and being a large body person also, I. During one of my flights, I missed the snack time because I was so sleepy after takeoff. And. But at the same time, like I. When I woke up, I wanted my. I wanted my snack. I wanted my snack. I wanted my little drinky. I wanted a little pretzel. So I asked the flight attendant for my snack.

[Stavros Halkias]

They ignored me.

[C]

And then so I asked the other one for the snack and then I saw them talking to each other.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh no.

[C]

And then the first one that ignored me originally came back and handed me five handfuls of like a big handful of cookies.

[Stavros Halkias]

So hysterical.

[C]

Obviously that's an app to me for being big. So what do I do? Do I contact the flight.

[Stavros Halkias]

No.

[C]

Airline or do I just like go just. Should I just let my ego be bruised or should I say something? Okay, love you.

[Mike Mitchell]

Bye.

[Stavros Halkias]

Listen, we're all in the same community here. Okay? You got, you gotta take it. You're only tattling never makes anything better. No, never ever. Like it's Only very specific. Only very specific situations where tattling makes things better. But it's like, you might have, like a fucking. There might be some kind of fat asterisk on your, you know, on your delta thing. Now, like. And yes. Were they rude to you? Sure. But also, I've been, you know, I've been asleep and been like, I miss my cookies. And ask with too much. Like, ask with too much fucking intensity.

[Mike Mitchell]

Barging into the fucking cockpit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are there any more biscoffs? I've been. I've asked with too much and, like, look into your soul deeply. Did you ask two people too quickly and did you deserve this? No.

[Mike Mitchell]

No, you did not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let me be very clear. That's incredibly passive aggressive and very rude. Like, at the very least, they should have given you, like. Like, if they want to give you a couple, like a bag, extra bag, like, that's one thing they'd be like, well, you asked twice. Here's two cookies. Whatever. Still rude. But is it possible you asked like, like, did you give. The person ignored you? Like, be. Be honest with yourself in terms of the play by play. You know, we. It's. It sucks that we have to think this way, but it's like, that is the life of a fat airline passenger. Is that like, they're gonna disrespect you? It's hell already. All we have are our cookies. I understand where you're coming from, but. But you can't snitch here.

[Mike Mitchell]

This is.

[Stavros Halkias]

You just can't. There's not. Nothing good comes from putting snitch energy.

[Mike Mitchell]

In the world 100%.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean?

[Mike Mitchell]

I remember when I was. When I went to Camp Burgess, the after Camp Fatima.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. And I remember there was like, in the mornings, they would do like, every cabin would say a thing, and they went fat kid to me. And like, that is like, you know, you get like. And I. And I swallowed it. I never. I never said it, but it did. It.

[Stavros Halkias]

It.

[Mike Mitchell]

To this day, I remember it.

[Stavros Halkias]

So wait, what happened? It was like they would, like.

[Mike Mitchell]

And then you'd be like, like, good morning. Or like, you know what I mean? Like, you would do a thing. And then for me, they went fat kid. And they pointed the whole. The whole cabin. The whole cabin. The whole cabin. Like 12 kids. I know. I know. So look, that's your.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's your counselor's fault, by the way, letting that happen.

[Mike Mitchell]

The counselors. That same counselor later asked me for my Grateful Dead shirt. He's like, can I have your Grateful Dead shirt? Because I Was the same size as like just.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's insane dude. That's crazy.

[Mike Mitchell]

It was a cool grateful desert. I was like no, yeah, that's an.

[Stavros Halkias]

Insane thing to ask someone.

[Mike Mitchell]

Also it was like the time where I was like wait, I'm the fat? Because I told you like that was like one of the points where I was like oh, dawned on like I'm the fat kid. It was a bummer. But first of all you have to, on flights you need to be prepared. I always tell the flight attendant if you come around with food or drinks, wake me up or something like that. I always, I'll always do that. You're right. Fat person on the flight, hell, it sucks all the time. I don't fit into a bathroom. I've. I got a delta car just to fly first class. Cuz now that's, that's all only way I'll travel. The only kind thing they do for big people is that you can take your cpap. I'm, I'm going to Hawaii and I'm like dreading it. Yeah. Just cuz I'm not flying first class there. I'm going to sit with my mom and sister and I'm like I'm not going to fit in the circle seat. It's going to be uncomfortable. But the one good thing they do is they let you take your CPAP.

[Stavros Halkias]

As an extra carry on.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah, yeah, put a lay around my cpap. We get to Hawaii, they put the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Lay on your seat. They put an apple in your mouth.

[Mike Mitchell]

Oh, sorry sir, sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

We mistook you for the pig we're roasting later tonight.

[Mike Mitchell]

I'm like running around, running away.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And look, it's like. Here's the other thing though. When you miss a snack. Yes you did miss the window. You do have to be a little more patient.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

They will give it to you eventually. But whenever. And it's not just a snack. It's like when you miss anything, when you miss the drink, when you miss whatever. Like you know, it might take a while for you to get it. Now again they don't. You don't deserve this treatment.

[Mike Mitchell]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Giving you five is crazy. It's insane.

[Mike Mitchell]

But I also want to say that look I, I would be in my head about that too but there's a slight possibility that lady was like I'm going to be nice and give more and not even thinking about, not even thinking about maybe like it, maybe it was a subconscious thing or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

And we've all been there where like self hating fat thoughts are like they were being. They were. They were whispering to me.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Whispering about me. And look, you might be right. I don't know. We weren't there. But it's. It's like, it doesn't help to look at the most negative in these circumstances.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And. And it's been. It's ostensibly been at least a few days, maybe weeks after this. And you're still thinking about it. Right. And. And when you. If you write it up, you'll be like, I wonder what Delta's going to do about it? And you're going to be thinking about it even longer. We don't know there was Delta. Whatever. Whatever airline you're with. That also matters, too, if you're on a discount airline. They're to everyone.

[Mike Mitchell]

Right. Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

So that's another thing, man.

[Mike Mitchell]

We should. I know. I. I hate every actor in the world creating businesses.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fat air.

[Mike Mitchell]

But we should create fat air. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fat airplanes flying. They're clipping buildings. Not how the physics work at all. But it's like, just because it's fat people, it's flying lower.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah. We have to go in on fat. I mean, it is. They treat fat people like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

And. And it's. It's not fair. But.

[Stavros Halkias]

But they treat everyone like. Think about first class. Is that. It's what a human being deserves.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's base dignity. It's not like it's like the craziest, most comfortable seats. It's just a seat where you don't feel uncomfortable every moment. Right. Regular seats, you just feel like the whole time.

[Mike Mitchell]

That was. I was a JetBlue guy forever. And. And they have a little.

[Stavros Halkias]

They had a little extra. Extra room and stuff.

[Mike Mitchell]

They had extra leg room, which. Which that's like. I loved it. And then a new CEO took over, of course. And then they were like, we're getting rid of coke and we're going to Pepsi. Which I already. I was like, this is up. That was my blood as a fat guy. My blood was already boiling. And then they're like, we're gonna. They. They were like. They made the decision to slim the seats. It's like, what, What. What on earth? Human beings are bigger than they've ever been. Why would you ever slim the seats? It doesn't make any sense. And then, like, you know, money. They saved money and they could pack more people in or whatever it is. It is just a money thing. And then online are like, you. You should be a. Or pay for two seats or whatever. And that's why I do just fly. And I. I'M lucky that I can fly first, by the way.

[Stavros Halkias]

I tried paying for two seats before. I've done that before. They don't make it easy. They. Everyone tells you fat buy two seats. I would do that. And they, like, nobody knew how to do it.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

They were made. And they would, like, call it. I was like, oh.

[C]

Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then when they figured it out, they, like, laughed. They'd be like. Like, I had a guy be like, wait, oh, it's for. They're like, they're both for you. And they were like. And it's like, hey, man, if you're gonna tell us to do it. And I tried to do it. Don't make it fucking embarrassing. I literally did that before I could afford first class. I was like, all right. I'm fat as shit. I travel for a standup. I did it a couple times. It was so mortifying that I was like. Or it was just so. It wasn't even mortifying. You can't do it online. You have to call, and they're gonna.

[Mike Mitchell]

Probably try to fill that seat in. Like, that's what flights do. Like, they're trying to get everyone into.

[Stavros Halkias]

The plane no matter what. Exactly. So, anyway, whatever. But. But, yeah, it's up. That's. That's a perfect example of how it's just the company trying to make more money so they make it horrible on everyone.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then we cannibalize each other. Where people. People feel so good. So superior morally to fat people.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

That it's like they get to just like, oh, this is a. I just make fun of this person. And I, you know, I'm better than them because I'm not fat. Fat. And so instead of being mad at the JetBlue CEO for taking leg room that everyone could have used, but fat people could use it a little more. You're like, well, you fat ass. You know, but anyway, I mean, don't snitch. Move on with your life. And look, and we do this a lot. No one who only fat people can listen to this part. Everybody else, go away. Turn the podcast off if you're not fat. Listen, you could. We could all use a little. Lose a little weight. They are right there. I hate. I hate, hate to say it, but I've lost a little weight, and I do feel a little better.

[Mike Mitchell]

The thin people.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not for their reasons. It's not for their reasons. I'm just saying I know I've been healthier, and I feel a little better. So it's like, don't Let. Don't. I'm not saying you. You know, I'm not saying you deserve to be, but just, like, just be a little healthier. It's okay. It's okay. You don't have to feel bad about yourself. And then the other thing thins.

[Mike Mitchell]

Thin people are be like, on, like, I'll search zepbound just to get mad. Yeah. People being like that will, like, give you cancer. I'm like, so is. So being fat will give you cancer, too, Or a heart attack.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Mike Mitchell]

But.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I'll roll the dice, baby. One last thing I'll say, too, is like, what would you even say if you made a complaint? I asked for cookies, and they gave me cookies.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

They gave me a little bit more cookies. And by the way. Way. And then br. I'm fat. So I took that as an insult.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it is possible. But I'm just saying it doesn't write up. You probably won't get justice. So move on. Move on with your life. And that's all.

[Mike Mitchell]

I'll say this, too. If that. If that flight attendant was giving you extra cookies as, like, a you, you're fat thing, then they have to live with themselves being a shitty person forever. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the problem. There's no justice, though. They feel good about being shitty. They love it.

[Mike Mitchell]

But that.

[Stavros Halkias]

But that sucks.

[Mike Mitchell]

You're not that person, and you can be grateful for not being. So.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good point to look at it. Yeah.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Be kind to people and just, you know, snitching is not good in general, I would say.

[Mike Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But good luck out there. We feel for you. That is brutal. Them.

[Mike Mitchell]

Tell them to wake you up. You just got to tell them to wake you up. That's. That's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, put a. Put. Yeah. Put a big sign on your face like, don't wake me up. Just put the cookies in my mouth while I sleep, undo my cpap, put the cookie in, and put my CPAP back on. All right, well, on that note, we're gonna end the episode, guys. Thank you so much for listening, Mike. Thank you for being here.

[Mike Mitchell]

Thank you for having me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And we will talk to you guys next time. Bye. Bye.