#146 - Feitelberg

Summary

Stavvy's World #146 – Feitelberg (September 15, 2025)

Overview

In episode 146 of Stavvy’s World, comedian Stavros Halkias welcomes Feitelberg (“Johnny Fights” of Barstool Sports fame) for a wide-ranging, hilarious conversation, blending infectious banter with real-life stories, personal introspection, and plenty of advice to callers. The pair discuss life as the eldest sibling, study abroad misadventures, cultural observations, adulthood, masculinity, sports, and friendship (with Feitelberg’s signature self-deprecation and sly wit). In the latter half, they tackle relationship and life dilemmas from listeners, delivering insights equal parts sincere and irreverent.

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Main Discussion Highlights

1. Feitelberg’s Study Abroad/Spain Hijinks

[00:52–08:21]

• Mispronounced French and “Le Mascots” Show: The pair jokingly debate the French pronunciation of Feitelberg's new series (“Le Mascots?” “Les?” “Less mascots?”), launching into Barstool/YouTube project talk.
• Spanish Host Family Chaos: Feitelberg recounts a high school summer in Salamanca, Spain, with a family for whom siesta culture was paramount.
  • He and his friend, both teenagers, couldn't adapt to the nap routine, so they’d get drunk instead (“we just get faced in our bedroom” - 02:48).
  • Simpsons Obsession: “I stayed with a Spanish family that loved The Simpsons. It played 24/7.” [05:15]
  • Dinner Offense: Feitelberg jokes he offended the host mom over her "invented" sausages and potatoes dish: “I was like, I’m pretty sure the Polish invented this one.” – [04:21]
  • The mom hit him with a spoon. “[She] whacked me with the big spoon...I earned it.” – [04:27]
• Reflections on Sending Kids Abroad: Both comedians express astonishment at how common it was to send teens to live with strangers in another country: “It seems like more people should get sex trafficked doing that type of shit” – Stavi [07:18]

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2. Sibling Dynamics & Family Reflections

[08:22–14:40]

• Four-Kid Households & Family Culture: Feitelberg reflects on growing up as the eldest of four (“a roaming baby factory”), with parents each from even bigger families.
  • His dad claimed, dubiously, that testicular cancer prevented more children ((“I was like, did my dad just lie?... My dad was lying.” – [10:33–11:00]))
• Ideal Family Makeup: They riff on old sayings about the “millionaire family” (boy and girl): “I want both – gay son and thot daughter.” – Stavi [13:25]
• The Adorable Gentleness of Young Boys: Both riff on the inherent “touch of gayness” in little boys’ gentle play, sword-fighting, roughhousing, and the unique joys of being the “fun uncle.” [13:53–15:34]

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3. Aging, Careers, and Social Perception

[18:39–23:22]

• The Delayed Adulthood of “Entertainment Lifestyles”: Both discuss how careers in entertainment make it easy to feel perpetually young (“You can always trick yourself into thinking you’re young.” – Stavi [18:41])
• Age and Self-Image:
  • Studies suggest that under-25s perceive themselves as older, while over-40s see themselves as younger (“I had a phase where I thought I was 24... now I think I’m like 50.” – Feitelberg [21:29])
  • “Something shifted... when I would watch the NBA draft and want to fuck the moms instead of the girlfriends.” – Stavi [22:05]

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4. Middle School Trauma, Bullying, and Comedy

[24:28–28:32]

• Being Bullied at Hockey Camp: Feitelberg recalls being incorrectly assumed Jewish at hockey camp and waking up to swastika notes (“I just stepped over them every day. Those kids thought I was the proudest Jew ever.” – [24:51])
• The Power of Adolescent Roasting: Both discuss how being roasted in middle school forges one’s sense of humor and how middle schoolers remain intimidating: “You’ll never really win a roast off with middle schoolers anymore.” – Stavi [27:42]
• Comparing Roasting to Martial Arts: “It’s like going and training with the Shaolin monks.” – Stavi [28:30]

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5. Sports: Wemby, Olympics, and Nationalism

[28:44–41:22]

• Wembanyama Fandom: They praise Wemby for his monk-like devotion, leftist politics, and generational talent (“He seems like the man… the best player in the world could be a left-leaning Shaolin Monk…” – Stavi [30:11])
• Human Limits in Sports: Tangent about how much faster humans have gotten at Olympic events, though unsure on stats.
• Olympics and World Cup Love: Lament the wastefulness of host city infrastructure and marvel at global tribalism (“Sports are a safe way to channel the stupidest urges of humanity…” – Stavi [41:26])

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6. European & Irish/British Rivalries

[41:41–47:20]

• Cultural Baggage in Sports: Anecdotes about English–Irish–German–Italian rivalries and how historic conflict “makes sense” as sports animosity (“…crazy to still be talking about the Blitz.” – Stavi [43:02])
• Ireland vs. England: The Irish “don’t joke” about hating England (“To them, it’s not a joke. It pretty much just happened.” – Stavi [45:45])
• British Monarchy Obsession: Amused by how modern Britons still parade their dark history in tourist attractions (“…put 400 Irish guys in a tower and just locked the door and walked away… why are you telling us this?” – Feitelberg [47:43])

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Listener Callers & Advice Segments

1. Sexless Relationship Dilemma

[52:24–64:29]

• Issue: Caller hasn’t had sex with her boyfriend in a “concerningly long time” due to his erectile issues (possibly stemming from autoimmune problems).
• Advice:
  • Communication is key: “I’m a huge communication guy. Every problem is just miscommunication.” – Feitelberg [56:01]
  • Stay open to non-penetrative intimacy and patience around medical issues.
  • Reopening the relationship? Both agree that’s risky unless there’s clear mutual desire.
• Memorable Moment: Stavi’s quip: “My dick doesn’t work half the time. Doesn’t stop me from trying to fuck.” [56:47]

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2. Friendship Breakup Over Wedding

[65:13–74:54]

• Issue: Caller discovers his "group of four" friends didn’t invite him to one’s wedding; everyone else was a groomsman.
• Advice:
  • “That friend group is over.” – Stavi [71:32]
  • Acknowledge when people show you their true colors, grieve, and move on: “There’s kind of beauty in that… in the rest of your life you won’t walk around thinking they’re your best friends.” – Feitelberg [73:23]

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3. How to “Learn Sports” for Social Survival

[76:44–83:20]

• Issue: Alabama college student feels lost in sports conversations (“I just know stuff about ultimate frisbee”).
• Advice:
  • You don’t have to talk sports, but knowing basics is helpful.
  • “Pick one sport—football is bang for your buck.” – Stavi [77:37]
  • Try fantasy football, listen to an Alabama sports podcast, or attend games to soak up culture.
  • Use social lubricants: “A couple cliches will take you a very, very long way.” [83:00]

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4. In-Laws Slept in Their Bed (While House Sitting)

[83:30–93:10]

• Issue: Caller and fiancée are weirded out that her parents stayed (and didn't change sheets) in the couple’s bed while pet-sitting.
• Hosts’ Take:
  • Both agree: “You sound immature here.” – Stavi [87:44]
  • It’s normal to offer your bed to house sitters, especially in-laws, unless explicit instructions to use guest space were given.
  • Not changing sheets isn’t great, but the onus is on the host to provide clean bedding and clear expectations.
  • “If someone is doing you a favor… that’s how this works.” [91:25]

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5. Quick Finisher Needs Vibrator Advice

[93:31–100:16]

• Issue: Long-term girlfriend complains about early ejaculation—is ready to introduce a vibrator into sex life, but both are new and shy.
• Advice:
  • A vibrator is “another arrow in the quiver” – good idea.
  • Research basic, user-friendly models (“best vibrators for partner to control”).
  • If she’s shy about shopping, you take the initiative; keep it simple to start.
  • “If you’re not eating pussy, get eating.” – Feitelberg [100:16]
  • Start slow and keep communication open; this may help her (and you) get comfortable with more adventurous toys in the future.

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6. Listener With One Testicle After Cancer

[100:28–108:27]

• Issue: Caller recently had a testicle removed; worries about dating, masculinity, and whether to get a prosthetic.
• Hosts’ Take:
  • “Girls aren’t measuring nuts… guys with little nuts get pussy as well.” – Stavi [102:50]
  • Most partners will not notice or care, especially if health/survival is the reason.
  • “There are many things that make you less of a man than having one nut.” – Stavi [102:36]
  • Example: Fellow comedian Nimesh Patel has a silicone nut, but both hosts agree: this is not a dealbreaker and should not define your self-worth.

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Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Middle School Bullying:
  “You'll never really win a roast off with middle schoolers anymore. You can't come out of that looking good.” – Stavi [27:42]
• On Growing Up in a Big Family:
  “When I hit probably like 8, 10... we were a roaming baby factory.” – Feitelberg [09:50]
• On Sex Drought:
  “My dick doesn’t work half the time. Doesn’t stop me from trying to fuck. I’ll eat pussy and jack my pathetic little dick off, but I’m doing it with a woman I love, Stavi.” – Stavi [56:47]
• On Aging & Self-Perception:
  “Something shifted when I would watch the NBA draft and want to fuck the moms instead of the girlfriends.” – Stavi [22:05]
• Quick Relationship Diagnostic:
  “If your best friends had a wedding and you didn’t hear about it, they’re not your friends.” – Stavi [67:49]
• Handling a Single Testicle:
  “Girls aren’t measuring nuts. They don’t know shit about your balls.” – Stavi [102:50]
• On Being the Fun Uncle:
  “I don’t know if the kids can sniff it out, but they just run up to you and they’re like, ‘Throw me! Throw me!’” – Feitelberg [14:43]

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Tone and Chemistry

The episode is packed with comedic self-deprecation, authenticity, R-rated honesty, and the loose, sincere camaraderie that defines Stavvy’s World. Both hosts are quick to poke fun at themselves and each other, spinning personal failures into cathartic laughs, while also showing genuine warmth and compassion in their advice segments.

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Conclusion

This episode typifies Stavvy’s World at its best: real-life stories blend with brash insight and solid advice, filtered through the hosts’ fearsome wit and lived experience. If you’re seeking a mix of hilarity, anxiety, and sage perspective—on everything from Spanish siestas to sexual technique—this is 100% your show.

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Notable Segments (Timestamps):

• [00:52] – French/Spanish mascots, siesta & study abroad recollections
• [10:33–11:00] – Did my dad lie about testicular cancer?
• [13:25] – “I want gay son and thot daughter.”
• [22:05] – The NBA Draft and wanting to fuck the moms
• [24:51] – Swastika notes at hockey camp
• [27:42] – On losing a roast battle with middle schoolers
• [30:11–31:46] – Wemby as Shaolin Monk + generational basketball talent
• [41:26] – Sports as safe tribalism
• [56:47] – “My dick’s not working, but I’m trying anyway.”
• [67:49–74:54] – Friend group not inviting the caller to a wedding
• [102:50] – “Girls aren’t measuring nuts.”

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Check out Feitelberg’s new project, "Le Mascots," on the Out of Order channel!

Transcript

[Stavi]

Hey, this is Sarah. Look, I'm standing out front of a.m. p.m. Right now and, well, you're sweet and all, but I found something more fulfilling, even kind of cheesy. But I like it. Sure, you met some of my dietary needs, but they've just got it all, so farewell, oatmeal. So long, you strange soggy. Break up with bland breakfast and taste.

[Eldest]

AM PM's bacon, egg and cheese biscuit made with K tree eggs, smoked bacon and melty cheese on a buttery biscuit.

[Stavi]

A.m. p.m. Too much.

[Eldest]

Good stuff.

[Stavi]

Welcome, everybody, to Stop World. 904-800. Stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We have my boy Feitalberg on the damn couch right now. Johnny fights.

[Eldest]

Dude, it is my pleasure to be here.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Like, honest to God, I see this background so often. It's a genuine honor to be here.

[Stavi]

Thank you very much. Of course. Yeah. You got a series that's been out for a couple weeks. Is it Le Mass Less mascots or the mascots? Buddy, you threw a little French on. Nice. Doesn't know the name. Came here explicitly to promote this thing. Doesn't know the.

[Eldest]

I just don't know the print. I think it's. I've been. I say lay mascots. I don't know.

[Stavi]

Oh, if it's Elliot. Oh, actually, you're right. I don't know either. So you just. For you, it was a matter of French pronunciation. You know that it's lay or less, not the.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Okay. Okay. Okay. Definitely. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds right. Did you take any French in school?

[Eldest]

I did. I was a Spanish guy.

[Stavi]

Spanish.

[Eldest]

I was pretty good at Spanish. Lived in Spain for a while.

[Stavi]

You did?

[Eldest]

Yeah, for like a summer.

[Stavi]

Okay. But when I was study abroad. Oh, in high school.

[Eldest]

Yeah, So I studied abroad. But I was in high school.

[Stavi]

But you went with like, you had like, the whole host family thing.

[Eldest]

Yes, exactly. Stay with the family that, like. Dude, the. The. The woman. The mother. I guess. She's not my mom. My mom, actually, I was calling her my mom and I was like, this is my mom. My mom was like, you better knock that.

[Stavi]

Oh, wow. Your mom got jealous.

[Eldest]

Yeah, she was like, nothing.

[Stavi]

She was feeling C by. By your Spanish mother.

[Eldest]

You have one mother and she's over here.

[Stavi]

Oh, that's awesome. You're like, mom, I want to. This lady, like, it's a different thing. I'm trying to trick her, seeing if I can mix her maternal instincts.

[Eldest]

I'm hitting her with the edible complex.

[Stavi]

Smart, dude. Smart.

[Eldest]

But she. They hated us. It was me and my friend.

[Stavi]

Oh really?

[Eldest]

Because it was like.

[Stavi]

That'S awesome.

[Eldest]

It was me and my buddy. We were like 17, 16, I might have been 16 and like it was our first time ever in Europe, of course, at least without supervision. And we were just getting hammered all the time. But then they also, we were in Salamanca, Spain and they were. I don't know how it works in like Madrid and stuff like that, but in Salamanca like they were hard on siesta. Like it was, it was at 2:00pm yeah. You're going home and you're taking a nap.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And we're like 17 year old kids, not used to that. So we couldn't fall asleep. So we just get faced in our bedroom.

[Stavi]

What years are this? This is like.

[Eldest]

This is 20. I would say this is 0505 ye. Yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah. I think siesta culture is sort of. I think in that it was still. It was kind of the tail end of it being all like. Unfortunately, I think globalization has taken the siesta from a lot of people. Cuz Greece was like that too. Where when I was really little it was like you could not be outside. People were pissed if you made any noise. They're like, excuse me, we're. We left our jobs at the bank to come take a nap at our house. And you're, you're playing. Me and my brothers would try and play like, you know, we'd throw ball at each other. We'd be playing FIFA and yelling at each other. Now it's kind of gone away I think. But yeah, dude, you could not, not sleep, dude.

[Eldest]

They were like, like we couldn't do. We would like, we like we'll go to a hang out at a restaurant. There weren't restaurants. There was nothing you could do.

[Stavi]

And I respect it. I mean I think that's a better way to live. It's also like it's so hot. Yeah, you just kind of like take a nap. And that's why everything starts at like. That's why you can't have dinner until like 9pm or whatever.

[Eldest]

10 o' clock Simpsons would be on. We had one night, she brought out this dish and. And I'm gonna be honest, I was being an asshole about this. A was very happy about this dish she made and she's talking about how she invented it and all this stuff and it was just, it was sausages and potatoes. I was like, I, I forget exactly what I said, but I wasn't being a full. I was kind of being a fun again. Like there's a language barrier. So I was like, I'm pretty sure the Polish invented this one. I don't even know if it's the Polish or the Germans or whoever.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldest]

And she whacked me with the big spoon. Thank you.

[Stavi]

I mean, dude, I can't imagine how annoying you must have like, when you're 16, just like a little American, you know. I don't know if they got redheads over there, you know what I mean? Like, like just, just like, you know, thinking you're being sarcastic. You're also getting like, you know, just drunk all the time.

[Eldest]

Just. Dude, if an alcoholic 16 year old sat down at your dinner table and insulted your dinner.

[Stavi]

Yeah, you hate him totally. No, you'd be. And it's like they're. I feel like they're like refined and like that. And it's like, you know, that's not what American teenage culture is like.

[Eldest]

No, no. You know, and also, they weren't refined.

[Stavi]

They weren't these ones. Oh, yeah. What are they like?

[Eldest]

Well, that we would sit at, our dinner table would be like here. Very honestly, very similar to room like this and a TV about that size playing the Simpsons 24 7.

[Stavi]

Dude, you stay with a family that. A Spanish family that loved the Simpsons.

[Eldest]

Loved the Simpsons.

[Stavi]

That's fucking bizarre.

[Eldest]

I have no idea why they loved it so much. I feel like it was kind of just a cultural thing as far as like that town goes. Because I saw a lot of Simpsons stuff there. Interesting. And it could be, you know, a situation where I'm romanticizing in my head.

[Stavi]

Remember more than there was, but you're just blacked out. You watched one episode of the Simpsons. Yeah, they fucking love this.

[Eldest]

I remember multiple times walk around being like, they fucking love Bart over here.

[Stavi]

Well, Bart is. Bart goes across country lines.

[Eldest]

But at the time, wasn't I kind of Bart?

[Stavi]

Huh?

[Eldest]

Wasn't I kind of Bart?

[Stavi]

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah. Mark's funner when you're like 8. He's 8 in the show.

[Eldest]

Whatever. 16, dude.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. You're jacking off. You're drink, you're drinking all their wine. You're like putting fucking water in the vodka. Like, imagine. I can't imagine how annoying it is to clean up your biological child's crusty socks.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Some fucking redhead from Massachusetts comes in jizzing everywhere, telling you your sausage sucks. Telling you this, this you're proud of, sucks dick. You're like, all right, you, man.

[Eldest]

No, excuse me, I. Absolutely. I. I only got hit that once, but I, I earned it.

[Stavi]

I Earned it. So they. It was you and your buddy, huh?

[Eldest]

Yeah, me and my best friend. So it was like the most fun trip I've ever had.

[Stavi]

That is pretty. That sounds. And did they have like, do they have other kids? How does that work? Do they have kids?

[Eldest]

They had a child, I believe there was certainly someone else there. And if my memory serves me correctly, it was their own kid.

[Stavi]

Okay, cool. That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, that is. I think that age going to, doing that program seems strange to me. Like, in hindsight, at the time, I remember being like, whoa, that's awesome. I want to do that. But now I'm like, you sent a fucking child to live with a different. Like 18, 19 is. They feel like, that's enough of studying abroad is weird enough. But at least you're going to a institution.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Going into a family's home. You don't know. In hindsight is so insane. And it's like, how do more people not get sex trafficked doing that type of shit? Like, it just seems really. It seems like something. I. I don't know. I would be, I would be weirded out sending like a kid, even a 16 year old, across the country with a different family.

[Eldest]

I. I completely agree with you.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

I. I think there are times when it could work better because, like, right, if you're at 6, say you're 16 and say you're 18. When you're 18, you're like, I can do whatever the fuck I want. All you want to go do is drink.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

If that family had been like super passionate about showing me Spanish culture, I probably would have just rocked with them. You know what I mean? But they, they weren't really. They. They did not. Like, like, it was clearly, they were doing it for money.

[Stavi]

Oh.

[Eldest]

It wasn't like, they weren't like, welcome to our home. Our place is your place. Like, it was very much like, get to your room.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Lights out at 10.

[Eldest]

And I can see if they had been like, we love Spain. We want to show you our Spain. I would have been more involved, I think.

[Stavi]

So they were just running a shitty hospital.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

D. My, my parents are kind of going through that where I'm the eldest of my siblings and, and my young, there's four of us. And so my smallest daughter, my smallest daughter, smallest sister is out of the house now. And my mom is kind of feeling that like a little empty nest syndrome.

[Stavi]

Empty nest or stuff.

[Eldest]

And she wants to adopt. Adopt a Chinese baby.

[Stavi]

Whoa.

[Eldest]

And my dad is like, are you out of your Mind.

[Stavi]

Wow.

[Eldest]

That's not.

[Stavi]

I mean, I get. I think that's cool. Like, it would be, but it's like, I get where your dad's coming from, because it's like, I'm done.

[Eldest]

Yeah. Right.

[Stavi]

And you had four, and it sounds, like, pretty spaced out. Right. Like, how. How much younger is your youngest sibling?

[Eldest]

Like, 10 years.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Eldest]

So, like, she's out of. She's been out of the house, but she's just, like, now she's, like, very much her own person.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Eldest]

Like, you know, your early 20s.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Coming in for long?

[Eldest]

In and out.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Taking a bag of oatmeal with you? All that kind of. Yeah.

[Eldest]

Yeah. And you.

[Stavi]

You grew up in. In Boston.

[Eldest]

I grew up in Fall river, which is like 45 minutes to an hour south of Boston. It's actually, like, Massachusetts and Rhode Island. The border. Like, Fall river is the last town you go through in Massachusetts before.

[Stavi]

Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. So you're so. Yeah. You're, like, kind of in New England, and it's like. And what kind of. Why four kids Seems like a touch too much. Four is too many.

[Eldest]

It's funny you say that, because I never thought of it like that.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And then when I hit probably like 8, 10, or whatever, it was like. Like we were a roaming baby factory.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Which.

[Eldest]

Because my parents are both from such big families that four wasn't big to me.

[Stavi]

Oh.

[Eldest]

My parents are both from. I think it's a seven and a six or an eight and a seven.

[Stavi]

Oh, wow.

[Eldest]

And so, like, four. I thought we were. We were half ass.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Literally. Right. And. But then I got older and realized that my parents had planned to have a big family like that as well. And then my dad got testicular cancer after 4 and just went bad. Couldn't have any kids anymore. But then, like, I don't know, a couple months ago, Nimash Patel was on KFC radio and we were talking, Nimash has had testicular cancer.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And we're like. I was like, oh, it's a bummer. You can't have kids anymore. And he's just like, I can have kids.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eldest]

I was like, wait, did my dad.

[Stavi]

My dad was lying. I was like, sorry, we can't adopt a Chinese baby. My nuts don't work. Yeah. They said they won't give us a kid because my balls are off.

[Eldest]

No, they wanted to have six.

[Stavi]

Oh, wow.

[Eldest]

And after four, my dad was like, the testicular cancer. I can't have any more kids.

[Stavi]

Whoa. And.

[Eldest]

And recently, I've been like, I think that dude could have kids.

[Stavi]

Fully lying, dude. He was fully lying. So he had some after the cancer.

[Eldest]

No, no, no. Then he had cancer and then he was like, that's it.

[Stavi]

No, he didn't. I mean, forces. Yeah. Four is. When four is. You're starting to be out of your mind.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Three is the limb is the upper limit for normal sized family. Right. Because I think that's what happened in my family where my parents wanted two and my brothers ended up being twins. We're also test tube babies, so like, that happens especially early on. They just. The methods were not sophisticated.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

So they would just put like 10 embryos in a woman and be like, all right, some of them will survive. That happened to me like I. I'm the fucking sole survivor. I fucked up. I fucked up nine other embryos. I ate them. I absorbed them for nutrition. And my brothers had a third. They were triplets. And they straight up ate, you know. Like.

[Eldest]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavi]

Absorbed. Yeah, for real. They straight up absorbed this fucker. But I feel like three. Three is the upper limit of regular. And three, even to me, two seems like. It just seems like everyone should have two kids because it's like, it's not too many. You don't have a weird fucking. You don't have a weird, like, only child. That's always a big very. You can tell when someone's an only child. They're. There's something off about them. They're just like so instinctually selfish. You know what I mean? Because it's like. Because it's like you. You are faced with the reality of having to share resources on a basic level when you're. When you're, you know, when you have siblings. Right. But it's like we had only child. It's like everything revolves around you and you can be just kind of weird. You could just be like, you're like a little adult. You're like roommates with your parents, basically. You're like. You're like. You're like roommate. You're constantly on. If it's a good relationship, you're on a. You're the third wheel with a couple your whole life. And if it's a bad one, then you're just three fucked up roommates. You know, you got to have two. You got to have at least two, I think.

[Eldest]

But they say that's. What is it? It's a boy and a girl is a millionaire family. And then I think my dad jokes that we're a billionaire family. We are obviously not.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

But it's where two boys, two girls.

[Stavi]

Oh, okay.

[Eldest]

I don't know what the.

[Stavi]

Why is. What do they call it? Millionaires. That's the best one.

[Eldest]

I guess so.

[Stavi]

I think I've never also.

[Eldest]

This could not be a thing. This could be something my dad says.

[Stavi]

Yeah, your dad seems pretty dumb. Or he's lying about his nuts.

[Eldest]

Oh. It's a million dollar family. A family with two children. Specifically a son and a daughter. So he jokes. It's a big.

[Stavi]

The best of both worlds.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Yeah. You could have gay son and thought. I want both, dude. I honestly do want both. That sounds awesome. I want gay son and thought daughter. We are. I would be pumped if my nephew was gay. That would be cool. But, you know, who knows? We'll find out. The kid right now is, you know, he's just. He's a happy little baby.

[Eldest]

How old is he?

[Stavi]

He's like six months. But we just theoretically were like, nice, dude. It would be so funny to have a gay guy in the mix.

[Eldest]

They are gay. For a while. Little babies, little boys.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Oh, true, true.

[Eldest]

Like, I got. I got friends with a lot of little kids. And, like, they're awesome. They're the best. I'm always just like, he's a little bit gay.

[Stavi]

Yeah, for sure, for sure. Because there's a gentleness to them. You know what I mean?

[Eldest]

Sweetness. Even, like, we're playing hockey and I'll be. I'll be having fun, and I'm like, yeah, that seemed a little gay.

[Stavi]

No, I was having a little sword fight with my friend's son, and he just got. We just got to like, the rough housing.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Like he's like about to turn three. And after every time I would pretend he me up, you know, and then he'd be like, are you okay? Stuff. And it's like, dude, you gotta go for the jugular. You're being a. I couldn't call him a in front of his mom. She was right there. But I'm like, dude, no, you go. This is when you take my. This is when you slit my throat. You don't ask if I'm okay.

[Eldest]

Don't. Don't be the red Viper here.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah, dude.

[Eldest]

I had this. This pat. Like, me and my friends go away every December, and a lot of them have kids now. And I'm. I'm like kind of the uncle, just because I'm the guy who's of course, there. And I don't know if the kids can sniff it out, but they just run up to you and they're like, throw me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, throw me.

[Stavi]

And then they come back like, why don't you have a woman in your life? Do you get lonely? This is fun. But when you're gonna go home to an empty apartment after this, you know.

[Eldest]

You don't get to keep me. But we were there this. And, you know, I threw him a couple times. And then two days went by, and we're watching a movie on the couch, and he comes up to me and he goes, uncle Johnny, Uncle John, you wanna go play rough? And I was like, yeah, dude, I do, but you gotta stop at, like, don't whisper it.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanna go do our special secret playtime? Shh. Uncle John, it's time for your favorite game that you told me never to tell my parents about this.

[Eldest]

Make sure your mom hears me.

[Stavi]

Yes, I'd like to go roughhouse. Everything is above board, and anyone is welcome to observe. I've been a bit of a nomad this summer. I thought I would get in the zone a little bit. I thought I'd be in one place. It's been tough. And historically, when I'm traveling around, I gain weight, I balloon up not so much this summer. I have stayed moderately with my goals, even though my life's been all over the place. I've lost a little weight despite the chaos, and that's thanks in big part to our friends at Factor Meals. I moved. I moved apartments. I didn't have all my cooking stuff. Factor Meals was right there for me with beautiful chef prep meals that are dietitian approved and delivered right to my door. So many different options. I. I order them, I have them ready to go whenever I don't feel like cooking. Whenever I want something that falls right into my, you know, right into my goals, my health goals. Factors Got it for me. A huge select. They got a huge selection of, you know, you have a lot of different varieties. You're not just pinned into, like, three or four choices. We're talking premium seafood, salmon and shrimp, no extra cost. Whatever your wellness goals are. You know, they have a new Mediterranean diet option, which I've been dabbling with because it's, you know, packed with proteins. I'm a protein boy these days, and, you know, I'm a Mediterranean. A son of the Mediterranean. It makes me feel at home. I like, you know, I also. My favorite cuisine. I've been on the record, if I had to pick one type of food, it would be Korean food, Japanese food. I like what they got going there, and they have tons of Asian inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by China, Thailand and more. From more choices to better nutrition. That's why 97% of customers say that factor helped them live a healthier life. Feel the difference no matter your routine. Eat smart@factor meals.com starvie50 off and use code STAVI50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. That's code STAVI50OFF@factor meals.com for 50% off your first box plus FREE breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with factor offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchases. Yeah, dude, no, it is interesting to be in that zone for sure. To be in the like the fun uncle zone, you know, Cuz I do see that that's definitely in my future as well. Are you the last guy? Are you like the one like, of your group of, of like immediate friends? Is everybody kind of settled down or.

[Eldest]

It's, it's, it's getting there.

[Stavi]

I mean, I guess wearing a bar stool too. It's like, it's kind of same thing with comedy where it's like you are always. You can always constantly trick yourself into thinking you're young.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Right. Because you have access to a bunch of like, people in their 20s and you have friends, like, I would say, working in any kind of entertainment, you end up with more friends that are younger than the normal person.

[Eldest]

100%.

[Stavi]

Like constantly new comics or like, you know, new, new fudgeing people are doing podcasts or content, whatever. Like, you meet so many people that if you, you could trick your mind and think I'm young. That's not. You can't judge yourself off your youngest friends. You have to judge yourself of your actual contemporaries.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

For me, anyway, you know, I'm totally projecting here where I'm like.

[Eldest]

But it's accurate projection.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

That's the right way to do it.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah. Because again, you don't want to be the guy who's just like, dude, I'm. What's up? Like vaping, like being like 40 and being like, being like, dude, what's the move tonight?

[Eldest]

Yeah, yeah, no, I'm with my, my like core friends. Like my high school friends. It's, it's a good mix.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Eldest]

Half of them are settled down. Half of them are kind of like, probably, which is me, which is like, settle down a bit.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldest]

I'm not blacking out every night. I don't, I don't really drink anymore.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldest]

But like, I don't have a family. Yeah. I'm in that gray area.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah. And is that you? Because, I mean, coming from four, your whole family, like, that must be kind of ingrained in you to be like, I want to do that.

[Eldest]

Literally. Not at all.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Eldest]

And it's never been mentioned to me, like, Like I never had parents who are like, we want a grandkid. Or like, they've never, they've never said.

[Stavi]

Your dad seems to have a full. Full of kids. Complete in every way. Yeah. Oh, so they didn't. Okay, so they didn't press you, but was that ever something that's like, kind of filters into your head where you're like. Because it sounds like your parents have a good relationship.

[Eldest]

Very good.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Really, really good.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Like, they, they love each other very much, but no, like, it did. I, I, I never really felt maybe when I was like 20 and I had a girlfriend and I was like, this is who I'll be with the.

[Stavi]

Rest of my life.

[Eldest]

Right, right, right, right, right. But, like, as an adult. No, it's not, it's not like I refuse to ever have kids. Like, I'm not doing, like, in this crazy world, I'll never bring a kid in. But it's kind of like if it happens, it happens, but it's not high on my.

[Stavi]

Just let nuts off. Left, Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hoping it's not. Hoping your dad's fake. Fake ball issues aren't hereditary.

[Eldest]

They're gonna be no matter what.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldest]

You were saying? Interesting, though. I just read an article about you talking about what age you are, and I was just reading an article that people under 25 think of themselves as 40 older, whereas people over 40 think of themselves 20 younger.

[Stavi]

Interesting.

[Eldest]

So I'm in that gray area where I was like, I was reading, I was trying to think of what I think myself as, and I, I had a phase. Exactly what you're saying for a while where I thought I was 24.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

I was a 24 year old for sure, having a blast.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And then I got out of that and now I think I'm like 50.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, I know. You mean your perception, your self perception is like, you think, yes. When you're young, you're like, oh, I'm running out of time. I'm old as. When you're like 25 or whatever. And yeah, I feel the same way where it really did not hit me. Like, yeah, I'm 36 and I, I feel the same way where I'm like, I'm Old now.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

But even up to like maybe three years ago. I was like, I'm a young guy, I think 30.

[Eldest]

I'm 38. I think 33 was my. Like I'm getting up there.

[Stavi]

Something shifted where it was like this. What I say is like something shifted when I would watch the NBA draft and want to the moms instead of the girlfriends, you know where I was like. Because you would see the like. Because these kids are like 19, their girlfriend's like in college or whatever. But their especially like if somebody had a 19 year old and they had him at 20, it's like just like a. For a sexy 40 year old woman. I'm like, hell yeah. I'm like, now we're talking. This is more my speed. Or like you know when you start, when you go through like a. You walk like a college town or some shit and you're like, these are children.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

There is some. There is a nice thing that changes your perception, I think.

[Eldest]

Yeah, I think it was. It might have been. I actually just also just read that.

[Stavi]

Excuse me, Mr. Reading over here.

[Eldest]

This reading. The first one was an article.

[Stavi]

Mr. Statistics over here.

[Eldest]

The first one was an article. This one was a meme.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

The human body ages in three states. Like it really ages at three separate ages.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Eldest]

Ages at 34, 60 and 78, I think.

[Stavi]

Interesting.

[Eldest]

And I was like, oh, that makes sense. I like the first time I ever felt like I aged was at 34.

[Stavi]

Interesting. Yeah. Three ages, human bodies, what elders searched.

[Eldest]

I've seen this meme.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

34, 60, 78.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Is there any. Is there. Is that based off literally anything but makes sense to me. But yeah, it doesn't. You know, whatever. Who gives a fuck? That's interesting. So as the old oldest of four is an interesting sort of hierarchy in the family. Did you have like more responsibilities and like that?

[Eldest]

Not really. I. I would say no. I don't know. Yeah, like my parents ran a pretty loose house, but also like, I don't know. They were good parents.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Like we didn't really have rules, but we had to be civilized.

[Stavi]

Sure, sure.

[Eldest]

So I, I wouldn't say I felt too much responsibility.

[Stavi]

I'm sure maybe that's why they go to Spain. They're like one less child in the house for a summer. It's like we have a normal amount of children for. For one summer we have three in our house.

[Eldest]

They let us all travel all the time. Like we, we all. Me and all my siblings are pretty well traveled.

[Stavi]

Interesting.

[Eldest]

A lot of it was with our parents. But also, a lot of it was solo, too.

[Stavi]

Do you do camp? Do you like summer camp?

[Eldest]

I would do hockey camp. I go to Providence College hockey camp, and that was a sleepover camp. So I go for two weeks.

[Stavi]

Oh, hell, yeah. Get nice with it, dude.

[Eldest]

That was. That was the first time I learned I was Jewish.

[Stavi]

Interesting.

[Eldest]

Well, first of all, I'm not Jewish.

[Stavi]

But, like, the first time. Fido bird. Yes.

[Eldest]

That would be crazy. For the first time, I learned. It was middle school, but I learned I was supposed to be Jewish because I was away. Providence College hockey camp. You know, the Friars and a sleepover. And I would wake up every morning and there would be swastikas under, like, notes.

[Stavi]

Whoa. What the.

[Eldest]

Slid under my door.

[Stavi]

And, like, we were like, hey, guys, I'm not Jewish.

[Eldest]

But I didn't.

[Stavi]

Guys, I like what you're doing. No problem with the notes. They're going away, dude. That's all.

[Eldest]

I. I didn't know. I don't even know if I looked close enough to know what they were. So I would just step over them every day. Yeah, I just step over my go to practice. And those kids thought I was, like, the proudest Jew ever.

[Stavi]

Oh, this guy's unflappable. You cured some. Some people of their Neo Nazism. Maybe we should rethink this, fellas. In the face of such Jewish dignity, I've decided. I've decided to change my ways. It is awesome. You're like, yeah, yeah. That's just like. You're in. You're like a hockey camp in. In Providence. You're like, all right. That's like, all right, all right, guys. Who's the least white one? We gotta do some racism. We're hockey. We're. We're hockey idiots in. In the northeast. Let's find the least white guy to make fun of him.

[Eldest]

You know who had the worst. The worst town at the time of camp would. On account of the anti Semitism, of course. And that would be assistant Providence college hockey coach. Coach.

[Stavi]

Gay coach.

[Eldest]

Dude. If you're like. He was. He was the real hockey team's real assistant coach. And also coach Paul Pooley was the head coach and coach. Gay. I would be like, like, why don't they just give him the two weeks off? Like, this is a nightmare for him. Coach middle school boys.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. Damn. That is funny to get bullied by middle schoolers, too.

[Eldest]

I'm still scared of getting bullied by middle school. I think I never grow out of it. I think most men like, are still living, like.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Like, they're gonna get called gay in the middle school playground.

[Stavi]

I guess. I guess I never. I think that was the. I mean, we. I went to Baltimore City public schools, and it's like, it really is the fire that forges you. There's no harder. There's no harsh. Like, to me, I see it as, like, I will never have it worse than I did in middle school.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And I also legitimately think it helped me become FUNNIER without question, 100%. And, like, now it's a thing of, like. Yes. When you're. When you're that age, you're scared because of, like, the social repercussions. You want to be. But now it's kind of the crazier thing where it's like, you have no power anymore.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Because it's like, you can't. You can't threaten them. It's like, you know, you can't. Like, they just have. You're supposed to have. You're supposed to, like, be more mature, and yet it'll still cut to your very core. Right. You know what I mean? It's like. It is like this thing where you're powerless, and if they get you, there's nothing you can do. You can't. You have to just be really funny. And the. The percentage that'll work is so slim.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You'll never really win a roast off with middle schoolers anymore. There's no you. You can't come out of that looking good.

[Eldest]

But kids, I'll, like, cross the street in New York. Like, if I saw, like, school just got out.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

I'm like, I am not. I don't want that smoke today.

[Stavi]

Part of me wants to be like, I have to go. I need to see if I can still handle them. You know what I mean? Like, part of my job is no one is, like, being able to roast anyone. And it's like. It's kind of like, like, fucking going and training with Shaolin monks. You know what I mean? Like, if you really want to get your fucking martial arts at the top level, I almost, like, I see. If I see a bunch of middle schoolers or, like, high schoolers come off the. If I see them in a train car, I'm like, I have to go to that train car. I have to see what they think of this outfit.

[Eldest]

Makes your own.

[Stavi]

I need to know that I can wear a dress like this and have this haircut and surv drive a train full of New York middle schoolers. And if you can, you're the strongest you can possibly ever be. Dude.

[Eldest]

You say in the Shaolin just reminded me. You see who Wemby's training with now?

[Stavi]

Garnett.

[Eldest]

Garnett.

[Stavi]

Everything I see about Wembayama makes me love the kid. He.

[Eldest]

I mean I'm not a huge basketball guy so like I obviously am aware of him.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldest]

But I'm not. I don't follow the sport that closely, but I think I'm a huge wimy guy.

[Stavi]

He's so cool. First of all, he's like a once in a generation like true. Like the human body keeps what is possible for the human body keeps like our perception of it keeps changing. He seems to be the most mobile. I mean he. See the kid seems to be seven four.

[Eldest]

Yeah. He's huge.

[Stavi]

Not a seven foot. He's like. He's all. He might be like seven six by the time. And he's like 20, right. And it's like he's really skinny, whatever. But I also. Yeah. And he's. He's incredible. He's incredible. And he just see. And he went to. Yeah. Elders. This guy went to a temple of Shaolin monks, shaved his head and he was there for like a month. Like he went for like there was. He was there. Oh yeah. Look at him. He's awesome. He went on some kind of. He went on some kind of trip that was supposed to be like four days or something and he ended up shaving his head and staying for like at least a couple weeks.

[Eldest]

Yeah. He was there for a long time.

[Stavi]

He's. Yeah.

[Eldest]

To go from the Shaolin monk to.

[Stavi]

KG and then Kevin Garnett is incredible. And he's also. I've seen him like a lot of cool political stuff. Like I've seen like this. I've seen him like. Like communist stuff. Like he's to the left of me politically. It's awesome dude to be.

[Eldest]

He's.

[Stavi]

He seems like the man I think he was like. Yeah. Liking like pro Palestine stuff. It's like he's a very. He's a fascinating. The idea that the like best player in the world and I think this kid is destined to be the best. I mean knock on wood. He. His body type is very. You know, like that's the thing. But if things keep going like he'll probably like. He was almost defensive player of the year last year. Right. He'll probably be DPOI of things. I mean and he's like. He can shoot the ball. I've been a little out of basketball just because I've Been really busy. That's my favorite sport to follow. Like, obviously I like football. I'm a Ravens fan, whatever. But hoops is the. I. Every day I wish that there was a Ravens or there was a Baltimore. If there was a Baltimore basketball team, it would ru. It would.

[Eldest]

I don't have a really thought about that.

[Stavi]

We had the DC became like, you know, there's the Baltimore Bullets, which would be so sick right now if we had the Baltimore Bullets. But anyway, everything I see about him, the idea that like the best player in the world could be like a kind of left leaning Shaolin, like Shaolin Monk, who's also like the toughest guy. And he. And he talks about like, you know, how he wants to win. He's just like, it's all the. It's. He just plays such a fucking cool style and he's such a. It's a. He's a fascinating guy already.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And he. I mean, dude, the Olympics, this kid almost be. It was like a team of legends of America. It was like the one last stand, right, for like the LeBron Curry generation. And this kid, like, had an incredible showing against like the best players of a generation.

[Eldest]

It took Steph Curry.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Finding the pot of gold to become Steph Curry again.

[Stavi]

Yeah, it was. That was awesome.

[Eldest]

But also you said something that. And you just reminded me of it. The human body keep. We keep changing what to expect from it. I forget exactly how you feel.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldest]

But you know what I. I learned at the Olympics?

[Stavi]

What's that? In.

[Eldest]

In from the first Olympics, I believe. Or maybe it's from the 1900 Olympics to the Olympics. This year we've shaved like a half second off the 400, off the 2. What's the big. What's the main race?

[Stavi]

The 100 meter, the sprint?

[Eldest]

I think it's 100 meter.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eldest]

It's like, it's like we've. We're running it at like the same time. Interesting, because I, I thought the same thing where I thought, like, people used to throw 60 and now they throw 105. I thought we're getting a new mile an hour every year.

[Stavi]

The 1896 was 12 seconds. So now it's fallen by two and a half seconds. Apparent 2.37.

[Eldest]

Okay, so it's 2.3. So maybe I, I honestly, I shouldn't have brought this up.

[Stavi]

No, I love this. This is just stuff we sort of like. I might be completely wrong about Wemby liking communist stuff. It might. I might have just fallen for like, clear Photoshop like, clear Photoshop from, like, people I follow. They're like, this guy's cool. You know, who gives a.

[Eldest]

But I, I, I, I'm 100 right about whatever it is I'm saying. I just don't.

[Stavi]

I don't know what it is, but I am right about it. It's an awesome thing.

[Eldest]

It might have been. It was the Foreigner. I. It was. It happened on the Olympic broadcast.

[Stavi]

There's one thing in the Olympics that is just a second less.

[Eldest]

They had like a black and white video they were showing because they were showing the first, the first race.

[Stavi]

Okay. And again, we don't know what it is, folks. Let us know in the comments. But something. Feidalberg is sure something. And he's not sure if it's the first Olympics. If it's 1896. He does. If it's just some black and white Olympics, I mean, it can't be the ones. It clearly isn't the ones from the year zero or whatever. It's clearly not the ones from Greece. We didn't have records of that. But it could be 1896.

[Eldest]

One day someone's gonna say something to you and it's gonna sound amazing.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And a little voice in the back of your head is gonna go, I think we already knew that. I think Feidelberg says the event has evolved over time, but winning times tend to decrease by about. What is that, a quarter of a second per first of all.

[Stavi]

Stop looking at AI. Look at something else. Look at something else. What? I love my favorite. Oh, here it is. Here it is. Well, whatever. It doesn't matter. Who gives a. Yeah, yeah.

[Eldest]

We don't have the.

[Stavi]

We clearly moved on. We were exiting with a nice little bit of momentum. And then you kind of had to bring us to a screeching halt with not even the information. My favorite fun fact about the Olympics is. So the first one was 1896 in Athens, the first modern Olympics. And Athens was supposed to have the. It was supposed to be the hundred year anniversary. So we were supposed have the 1996 Olympics, but Athens could not get their shit together. So they just gave us the 2004 Olympics. So instead of it being 100 years, it was just weirdly 108. Like, that's how Greek people are good at how good we are at infrastructure. There was like, you're gonna have to give us an extension. Give us two more of these to get our together.

[Eldest]

When do you think they were like, we're gonna have to tell them we're not gonna be ready. Like how far? I think they knew, like, boys, all right, we got two years to get this. We can handle it.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And then with three months to go.

[Stavi]

That was like, all right, Atlanta. Can you guys fill in America? You already got a bunch of stadiums, right? You don't have to build them, but. No, they had to do a bunch of. I mean, they had to build. And some of it was good. I mean, the. The. But I think the Olympics were pretty much up anywhere they go.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Because, like, they make all these unnecessary stadiums. Like, even China, it's like they have State, like, which you think is a big enough place that they could use all the stadiums or whatever, but it's like they have empty. Empty stadiums.

[Eldest]

The Brazil, like, they're all like. I don't know if I forget this World cup or Olympics, but it's all bus depots now. All the stadiums they had to build. Yeah, it's very peculiar, particularly in my lifetime, at least, since I've been paying attention. Feels like they're always in China, Russia or Brazil.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I mean, it does feel like it should just. We should pick a continent and then sort of like, let it. Let use existing infrastructure in a couple different countries or in America or China. Some were huge because, like, it doesn't make sense to like, build all this infrastructure and then these places, like, they do it for four years and then it just, you know, gets up and they could. They could use public money. You know, it's public money that goes into it. It sucks.

[Eldest]

They have like, you know, they like acc walls and houses. Like, we need like an accent continent.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

It's like that's where just all the Everything.

[Stavi]

Stuff, everything goes there. Like, it would be fine. I mean, if they just did it. If they just went, China, China, America, South America, like a couple countries do it together. And then like, Russia gets in every once in a while. It's like, that's fine.

[Eldest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean?

[Eldest]

Super bowl, like.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

New Orleans would get it every couple years.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, totally. But it's like, it should be the same couple places, I think, but. But, you know, who knows? You know, this summer I've tried to get in tune with my body. You know, I've been experimenting. I've been dabbling. One of the greatest experiments that I've conducted has been with mud water. That's right. I've cut out other sources of caffeine. Mud water is an incredible little blend of cacao chai, turmeric and adaptogenic mushrooms to help you feel focused without the crash And I drink it iced. I'm an iced coffee boy. I'm an iced tea boy. I'm an iced mud water boy. That's right. You just mix it with cold water or milk. I'm a water guy, okay? I like to start my days. Little peek behind the curtain. I haven't been eating early in the morning. I've just been slurping sustenance from my delicious mud water and I've been ready to go. Every single ingredient in mud water is there for a purpose, okay? It ain't now look, I hear mushrooms. I'm like, nice. And though they aren't nice in the way you might think they are, they're nice in the way that they give you sustained mother freaking energy, okay? Do you understand that? I'm feeling awake, I'm feeling ready to go. No crashes, no spikes from coffee. Like I said, we got cacao, we got chai for a hint of caffeine. Just a little bit, just a little smooch. And a hot chocolate like flavor, which I like. I'm a little chocolate boy. And then we got lion's mane for focus. Nice. We got cordyceps to promote natural energy. Nice. And both Chaga and Reishi to support a healthy immune system. Nice. I have been healthier. Have been. Look, this isn't scientific. I'm just telling you as I've been drinking, I've been feeling better about it. I've cut out energy drinks, caffeinated sodas, coffees, all that kind of. I would usually. I usually get that for a little pep in my step. I've actually. I've replaced that with mud water since they came on as a sponsor and I've been loving it. Ready to make the switch to cleaner energy. Head to mudwatermudwtr.com and grab your starter kit Today. Right now, our listeners get an exclusive deal. Up to 43% off your entire order plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother. When you use Code Stavi. That's right up to 43% off with code Stavi at M U D w t r.com after your purchase, they'll ask how you found them. Please show your support and let them know we sent you. I think we're supposed. When's the LA Olympics supposed to be?

[Eldest]

Are those next ones?

[Stavi]

Yeah, four years. That's going to be very fascinating to see how that goes anyway. Oh, apparently there's some fucking Trump news. I can't wait how he fucks up the Olympics. See what he does? Just tries to Arrest people. Military use at LA Olympics says there will be sex testing. I mean, these people are so fucking diseased. Their minds are so ridiculous. Like, prove he wants to be like, it's this trans bullshit.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

It's just like, all these fucking idiots are just so obsessed with this stuff, and it's like, really? You're gonna fucking. Like, this is what the President needs to be talking about at the Olympics. They might check to see if a Nigerian sprinter has a pussy. That's what the President is thinking about three years before these Olympics. Anyway, whatever I do. Having said that, and as fucked up as they are for the local place, the Olympics are awesome. Olympics, World Cup.

[Eldest]

I was so happy these past Olympics breaks because Covid. Covid really up my sports watching.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldest]

I. I don't know. I don't know why it did. It's obviously something deep in here, but, like, I. I've never gotten. I was a humongous baseball fan. I still haven't gotten back on.

[Stavi]

Really. Yeah. Fascinating.

[Eldest]

I think it was because 2020, with that. That was, like, the one sport that had a full full season in an empty stadium.

[Stavi]

Right. Right.

[Eldest]

And I just, like, it didn't feel real to me. And then the socks have just sucked since.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldest]

So, like, I'm teetering on jumping back in now, but, like, I don't know. It just up. Like, sports watching. And at the time, I did not like the Olympics. I didn't watch them in 2020. I didn't watch them in 2022 and 2024. I fully bought back in, and I was like, oh, thank God.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Like, because the Olympics are unreal.

[Stavi]

So fun.

[Eldest]

Any sport with it. It really, really makes you realize, like, how awesome tribalism is.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

One sports start, you're like, it's a safe way.

[Stavi]

Like, to me, sports are important because it's a safe way to. To channel all the stupidest urges of humanity into one thing where it's like, we don't have to fight. We could just play basketball.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

We can just run against each other.

[Eldest]

And then we talk based on that.

[Stavi]

And that scratches the itch. You know what I mean? Like, that's why I think soccer is awesome. It's like. I think it has been a way for, like. Like, these European countries to fight each other constantly. And you have that baggage. But it's in a way that's like, all right, no one has to die. But it is intense.

[Eldest]

Dude, I'm so happy you said that, because I was just in London and I was out with a buddy. He's got Irish English buddies. So they came out with us. We were watching the Wimbledon final and someone said, where's sinner from? And I answered, Italy. And one of the other, one of the Irish English guy sitting with me, he goes, he's German, mate. And I was like, what do you mean? And he's like, he's like, anything from the north of Italy, it's just Germans. The Germans.

[Stavi]

And I'm like, Italy is German.

[Eldest]

He's like, he speaks German. Look at his face. He's not a Italian. And I was like, oh. Like I didn't realize, like ethnically German. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, you like, you seem to really hate this guy.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And he's like, I told you he's a German.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And I was like. And I was like, look, I, I get what you're saying.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Like, you know, I. Germany, I'm with you.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldest]

I was like, but I also do intellectually understand it's different people.

[Stavi]

Sure, sure.

[Eldest]

It's not the same guys.

[Stavi]

Totally.

[Eldest]

And he, and he, we had like an honest conversation. He was really cool about it where he was like, like, he's like, look, mate, he's like, what they did during the blitz with the, with the psychological warfare.

[Stavi]

That's kind of nuts to still be talking about the blitz.

[Eldest]

He was like, he's like, the psychological warfare on my grandmother was crazy, insane. And I was like, wow. I never felt like the, you know, I obviously know of World War II, but like in my. How I learned it was like we went over there and we put a stop to that.

[Stavi]

Sure, sure.

[Eldest]

Like it wasn't ever a risk of that. It was, you know, fascism was coming here. At least that's not how it felt.

[Stavi]

When I learned about it in America. They got it where it's like, ye mean, look, did a generation of housewives get the kicked out of them by shell shocked PTSD guys in the 50s?

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

But we, no one ever got bombs dropped on them. Whatever. Yeah.

[Eldest]

And so it was, it was wild to hear like that. But it was also so cool to have them like be able to have like this rivalry with their neighboring countries without it being like, I feel like the rivalry we have with Amer as Americans with our neighboring countries as isn't quite as fun.

[Stavi]

No.

[Eldest]

You know what I mean? Like when he says like why he hates them, I was like, yeah, that's a pretty good reason. Like I see where your anger comes from.

[Stavi]

And that's just the most recent war.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Like they've been Fighting each other since, like, the thousand. You know what I mean? Like, since the year 1000.

[Eldest]

But then if you ask, like, an American, if you're like, oh, like, you know, like, they're like, I like Mexico. And it's like, why, like, too many Mexicans. Yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Like, all right, well, that's kind of a different answer.

[Stavi]

That's not exactly. You know, there's not. Yeah, it's like. Like, that's not exactly a fun reason.

[Eldest]

Yeah. Not that World War II and the bullets is a fun one.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eldest]

But it made more sense where I was like, okay, I see where you're headed.

[Stavi]

Yeah. I mean, it's interesting because it's not fun. The further you get away from it. It is kind of fun. You know what I mean? Because it's like, exactly. Because when you think of it as, like, the war, it's like, these are. You know, France and England had the hundred years. It's the. The countries that had the hundred years war play soccer against each other. That's fun. That's cool. That's. Humanity has prospered. You know what I mean?

[Eldest]

But, like, dude, I. I want to hear a crazy one. I. I got a couple Irish buddies, and they were telling me that they played in the. I forget the name of the stadium, but they played the first Irish versus England rugby game in the stadium where Bloody Sunday took place.

[Stavi]

Wow.

[Eldest]

So the first one after that.

[Stavi]

Wow.

[Eldest]

The first time they played England again in that stadium, my buddies played in it, and they beat England. And I was like, that must have been the craziest environment in the history of the world.

[Stavi]

The oval. No, Elvis, that's. Again, stop going to.

[Eldest]

AI Not.

[Stavi]

First Irish versus English rugby game.

[Eldest]

It was whatever. The Dublin. It's like. It's called, like, the Gaelic Athletic Conference or whatever. It's something about some of the Gaelic sport.

[Stavi]

I mean, Ireland. I do give. I do like how much they hate England. For real?

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Like, to them, it's not really a joke. No, they're not. It's not like, something about your grandmother. It's like this shit pretty much just happened.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know, I. Ireland. And it's funny how different Irish from Ireland are than American. How much, like, more principled and, like, you know, they stand up for, like, against. Against, like, oppression and against all this other shit. It's like the Irish year became cops. Eight years. As soon as they let them be cops, they're like, nice time to fucking beat up the other ethnic whites and eventually other minorities. I can't. Dublin. I'm there. I'm there in September, actually. I've. Actually, I guess I've already been there. I had a great time in Dublin. I had a really great time in Dublin with you guys. And, you know, we were laughing and the queen and Lizzie's in a box, et cetera, et cetera. That was awesome. As soon as Queen Elizabeth died, the day she died at a fucking soccer game, they were chanting, lizzie's in a box. Lizzie's in a box. Anytime you disrespect monarchs, I. I absolutely tip my cap to you. That is awesome. That is the difference between the. How strong the monarchy is, like, in Europe and how, like, people just don't even con. Like, how much different is, like, the Saudi Arabian monarchs can just kill an American journalist. Like, like, imagine if somebody said, you know, if someone mocked the king of Saudi Arabia, it's like they would have shooters at his house. That. That's real monarchy, dude. The only place you still see it is in the Middle East. It's all. All the in Europe is fake, dude.

[Eldest]

I went to the Tower of London when I was on that London trip.

[Stavi]

That's cool. I like that.

[Eldest]

That was cool. Like, but exactly what you're saying with, like, Sir Walter Raleigh, like, yeah, they were just.

[Stavi]

If they. They were just like, yeah, oh, we're. We're keeping them. They're just gonna. We're just gonna ask them some questions. And it's like, how many people just never got out of the Tower of London, dude?

[Eldest]

They said that one point. They put. Put 400 Irish guys in a tower and just locked the door and walked away. I was like, you're telling us this? Like, aren't you supposed to cover this stuff up?

[Stavi]

It's crazy.

[Eldest]

I was like, what'd you do? Because we went back or not, we obviously. But he's like, they went back in four years. And I was like, why did they wait for. It probably took about a week.

[Stavi]

Yeah, right.

[Eldest]

For all them to die if you got no water, no nothing? Like.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I just know the Tower of London, they would just put, like, you know, if there was like, a usurper to the throne or something, they would just lie. Or if somebody had a competing claim for the throne, they would just lock their rival up in the Tower of London and be like, oh, they're there for safekeeping. And then, you know, these kids, they would just end up dead or missing or whatever.

[Eldest]

Do you know they say. They say from the Tower of London that the. The monarchy in the History of England has only ordered something along the lines of like 62 tortures. And I was like, that seems like a made up number.

[Stavi]

There's no way that's true.

[Eldest]

It seems a little low ball.

[Stavi]

There's absolutely no way that's tr. True. It's like they didn't order them because they were like out hunting quail or whatever. They were out on a wild boar hunt while some, you know, whatever the, like their. Their main. I don't even know who the would do it. They were torturing the. Out of people.

[Eldest]

Everybody.

[Stavi]

They were treating people. So I mean, it's hilarious that that.

[Eldest]

Information is on the same part of the tour where they're like, we locked 400 Irish guys in here.

[Stavi]

Right, Right.

[Eldest]

Well, that's torture, bro.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldest]

Why don't you describe that as pretty. A torturous experience?

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yes, exactly. Just not. Not having basic human rights fights in the Tower of London is torture. Yeah. Interesting. I don't, you know, I did like London though. It was.

[Eldest]

It is a. I really like London.

[Stavi]

It's a great town.

[Eldest]

I was a little underwhelmed with Dublin. I'm sure you loved it.

[Stavi]

I had a great. I already had a great time. I really loved it and I had many wonderful experiences there. Really underwhelmed the, the people.

[Eldest]

Like again, I have heard from a.

[Stavi]

Couple people that it was. It's like you don't need that much. Like you can kind of get. Get the place pretty quickly.

[Eldest]

It's. It's a city.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Like. Like I.

[Stavi]

The.

[Eldest]

The best way I had to describe to me by an Irish person was when you close your eyes and picture Ireland, you're picturing Galway. Oh, Dublin's just a city.

[Stavi]

Interesting.

[Eldest]

And I've been to Galway and I, I think that's pretty accurate that like Galway is much more Ireland.

[Stavi]

The rolling. No, rolling hills.

[Eldest]

Yeah, exactly.

[Stavi]

Okay. Yeah. Well, this won't factor into my plans because I've already been to Dublin, but I either agree or disagree. I'm not sure. Elders, I think it's time we, you know, we've got our friend Fights here. He's clearly a wise man, a man with so much to offer our callers here. So why don't we take some calls and see what we can. What problems we can solve. Folks, you know, starting your own business can be damn intimidating. It's a lonely task. All the hat you got to wear, all the hats. You're wearing a top hat, you're wearing a bowler, you're wearing a Koofie on top of that. Too many hats. I know that as a one man band, podcaster, comedian, merch salesman, I did it all and it was a pain in the ass. That was before I had my friends over at Shopify involved. And look, you're probably starting your own small business. You're probably. You got too many hats on yourself. You know what I mean? I don't know what you're doing. Maybe you're selling soaps. You're mixing the soap. You're doing the website. You're trying to keep track of everything. Well, why don't you stop messing around and help with the number one frickin e commerce platform? That's right, it's Shopify. Wait, what is that? We just made another sale on the Stavi Baby on Stavi biz store. Must have been a T shirt or a calendar. Those are coming up quick. Shopify is the commerce commerce platform by millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all E commerce in the United States. From household names like Mattel and Gym Sharks to brands just getting started. We're one of them. Like I said, look, get your damn business off the damn ground with Shopify. If you're ready to sell, you're ready to for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.comstavi go to shopify.comstavi shopify.comstavi holy crap.

[Caller 1 (Relationship Advice Caller)]

Hey Savvy and Elvis and whoever the guest is, I just need some advice. So my boyfriend and I have known each other hey Savvy and eldest and whoever the guest is, I just need some advice. So my boyfriend and I have known each other for 10 years. We basically just hooked up for a really long time initially and then it was like a friends with benefits kind of thing. And then like four years ago he finally told me he loved me and loved you. He lives with me now and all of that. So initially our whole relationship was just us hooking up. But then the last couple years he's had issues getting it up and like staying hard. He also has this like autoimmune issue that causes cysts in his like armpits and waistline, which can be painful. So basically we haven't had sex in a really long time. Like in a concerningly long time. Like it's been so long. So I kind of just need to get sucked. Honestly, I don't know if you guys have any advice. Obviously I know we have to have a conversation, but, like, any other advice. And then also, how do I have that conversation without, I guess, like, embarrassing him? Because I obviously know it isn't necessarily his fault. At least I don't think it is. Also some, like, additional information. When we were hooking up and then, like, initially transitioning into our relationship, we were open and could hook up with other people, which I guess technically can be something that I mentioned if and when I have this conversation with him. But I don't know how, like, either of us would feel about being open at this point, considering it seems like it would just be me hooking up.

[Stavi]

With someone else, writhing in pain with armpit cysts. It's like, ah, my soft dick and my cysts, and my girlfriend's just getting railed.

[Eldest]

My girlfriend's getting. That's a tough situation right there.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I, I think. Is there more to it all this. Should we dive in now, you think? Go ahead.

[Caller 1 (Relationship Advice Caller)]

Just hold up with that. Is that, like, maybe his issue is actually Whitney and not, like, the stuff I think he has going on? So if I have that conversation and then, like, he were to hook up with somebody else at that point, that would be so crazy after all this time. So, yeah, any advice would be, like, greatly appreciated. Obviously, like, love him. Don't want to hurt his feelings, but I, like, just really need to get.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

Thank you, guys.

[Caller 1 (Relationship Advice Caller)]

Bye.

[Stavi]

I respect this. This is a woman who knows her needs, and if it was a guy in the situation, obviously it's the same thing. And sometimes you just got to get a nut off. Yeah, you were, you had a, you were going. You had some thoughts.

[Eldest]

Well, I was, I was just gonna say, like, Like, I don't know how old the caller is. I, she sounds a little younger than us, if I had to guess, but I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy. I think just a conversation's the easiest way to go. I think just 10 years.

[Stavi]

They've known each other for 10 years.

[Eldest]

Like, just that, like, hey, man, what's the deal? You know what I mean? Like, I, I, I started doing that later in life. Probably later than I should.

[Stavi]

Me too.

[Eldest]

But, like, when I just noticed the vibe is off, I'm just like, yo, is everything okay?

[Stavi]

Good. Yeah.

[Eldest]

And it figures out pretty quick.

[Stavi]

For sure.

[Eldest]

It's. And as someone with a penis, if my penis wasn't working and my girlfriend was like, I need dick, I think I'd be like, just talk to me and I, I'll figure something out. Where, like, I can help you out.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldest]

Or Maybe we can get this thing working. I'm a huge. It's such a lame answer because it's like the accurate answer. Like, I'm a huge communication guy. Like, all it's. All it is is every problem is just miscommunication.

[Stavi]

Yeah. And I think, like, I mean, look, if you're. If I'm her. I mean, this also is a tough relationship to stick the landing on. I think. I think like absolute no strings attached buddies to like kind of friends with benefits that are sort of in each other's lives to open relationship to finally it's monogamous. And now his dick's not getting hard. That's kind of wild.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know, like. Like, I think, I think. I think because your relationship started in such an sort of like a non traditional way, communication is even more key.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Because like, you can't just kind of assume everything's all right, you know? And I'm also with you where it's like, look, my dick. My dick doesn't work half the time. That doesn't stop me from trying to fuck. You know what I mean? Like, I'll just fucking eat pussy and like, you know, jack my pathetic little dick off, but I'm doing it with a woman. I love stuff. You know what I mean?

[Eldest]

Like, I'll do whatever you want to. You give a.

[Stavi]

That's the thing. If my. If. If even my dick didn't work and whatever and like, my girlfriend was horny, I'd be like, all right, we can figure some stuff out. Like. And yeah, like, that's. I. I have that joke in my last special. It was like, some like, I like hooking up with bi girls because, like, if my dick doesn't get hard, it's like, nice. We're just lesbians, you know what I mean? Like, we'll just eat, we'll finger each other. Like, great. You know what I mean? So it's like, I do think there's something going on here. And I think you should. I guess one thing is be open to, like. Although she's saying she really needs to get. Maybe she is the kind of girl that needs to be pounded.

[Eldest]

Yeah. But she can't be because it's been years already. I don't know how long. She's had a really long time.

[Stavi]

I'm guessingly long.

[Eldest]

I'm guessing it's over a year.

[Stavi]

So you can't be like, maybe. Who know this freak? It might be three weeks since Tuesday. No, but it's probably. It's probably a. It's A, we can safely assume it's a serious chunk of time.

[Eldest]

Yeah, I, I, I've had kind of the opposite situation here where I, I had a new girlfriend and it, things weren't starting off smoothly. I don't know what, because I was young, it was like the first time it's ever really happened to me. And I, like, I, I was the one to communicate with her where I was like, look, I understand this, this feels weird. Like I just want you to know, like I just gotta have a long term relationship and I think I just need a little time to, to smooth things over with that and like, then I'll be ready. And, and she just goes, yeah, I don't know. You got to figure that out.

[Stavi]

She's like, I need a hard cock.

[Eldest]

I was like, damn, I was being pretty vulnerable with you there.

[Stavi]

Plump your up or hit the bricks. That's hysterical.

[Eldest]

This is, this is the same girl who I later got dumped by for reasons you can guess. Yeah, and we, we had been thinking about moving into here together and, but it was like one of those like New York City move ins. Like we've been together eight months, we can't afford rental. Like, might as well get in. And so we've been thinking about moving in together. And one day she's like, hey, let's grab a drink. Sounds great. We sit down, order two beers. She goes, I think, I think we shouldn't live together. And I was like, cool. I was thinking about re, re up my lease anyway, no big deal. Found zip with me. And I could see her across the table just like, he's not getting it.

[Stavi]

Like, awesome. Who wants to get movers? I can barely afford it, you know, whatever.

[Eldest]

And she's like, she's like. So our beers get placed in front of us by the waitress. And she's like, no, what I'm saying is, I think, I think we should break up. And I was like, oh, okay. And I started sipping the beer, but then I was like, well, I can't just put this beer down and like, walk away.

[Stavi]

Chug the beer. Yeah. Oh yeah. This is what you're missing out on.

[Eldest]

But I was crying. Oh, no. So I was crying and I was trying to hold the tears in.

[Stavi]

Oh my God.

[Eldest]

And it's starting to spill out of the side of my mouth, but I'm.

[Stavi]

Like, I can't put it down.

[Eldest]

So I finished the beer and put it down. She just looks at me like I'm a sucker.

[Stavi]

I mean, that is insane.

[Eldest]

She goes, yeah, you don't have to stay if you don't want to. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna leave.

[Stavi]

I'm gonna go and you're paying for this beer.

[Eldest]

I did leave. I think she. I think she picked up the bill. She was a great Jake. It was all my fault.

[Stavi]

So far I've heard your dick wasn't hard for a second, and then it was. But you did. Did more. You had more issues in the relationship.

[Eldest]

Not really. I think it was just like. I didn't see the relationship for what it was, which was she was just taking a little time out. She'd already found the guy she was marrying.

[Stavi]

Oh, really?

[Eldest]

It was like she broke up with the guy, we started dating immediately.

[Stavi]

Hold on, hold on. You've been gaslit by this woman. She found the man she was marrying, she gave him a little timeout, and she was like, well, I got to get my whole stuffed in the meantime, so who's a guy? I don't give a fuck about that. I can just string along for a sec. She talked about moving in with you. What are you talking about? Jesus Christ, dude.

[Eldest]

Thank you. I've been here. I've been for fucking 10 years. Been like, you stupid idiot. Why'd you think that was real? It's not your fault, man.

[Stavi]

This is goodwill hunting right now. You're about to start fucking. Get him a beer so he can cry. Elvis, get him a fucking Miller light the chug so he can actually start crying. That's so funny. It was my fault.

[Eldest]

Little laying dick loser. Can't tell when he not loved.

[Stavi]

That's hilarious, dude.

[Eldest]

God damn.

[Stavi]

Yeah, so I guess. All right, so I guess for this girl, I mean. Yeah, look, you got to communicate and. Yeah. Be open to some other may. You know, know some non penetrative stuff. Like, can he finger pop you if his dick doesn't get hard? Like, also, if he's. If he's got an autoimmune thing that gives. That's painful. It's like, are you doing everything you can to get that taken care of? And also if he just. If you are and it's still painful, then, like, you have to be a little patient and meet him halfway. Like, if he had a different. If he had a different, like, health malady that didn't let him, you wouldn't be like. Like, let's go. I don't care if chemo gives you a tummy ache. I need my right. So it's like, I don't know what level. What level of serious this is, but, like, you know what? I mean, but, like, you know, let's worry about that too.

[Eldest]

El, play the next voicemail. Yeah, it's some guy going, my wife's on chemo won't suck my dick.

[Stavi]

So, yeah, look, you know, you have to communicate. Talking about opening it up to me is insane. You guys have, like, if you're doing that, just break up. You guys made it out of that desert, that Sahara. Unless. Whatever. Unless even that.

[Eldest]

That open didn't sound like we. Like, that didn't sound like we had.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

No, it was.

[Stavi]

No, it sounded like that up gray area.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Where you're like, God, I hope neither one of us hurts the other's feelings. I hope. I hope we don't do anything irreconcilable where you're just, like, holding your breath and be like, if we survive this, I' dater.

[Eldest]

A.

[Stavi]

Another one. I up. Yeah. So, look, I get it. But also, I will also be. You know, you obviously love this person you guys have been through, So, I mean, 10 years is kind of crazy. I'm not tell. I'm obviously not telling you to break up or anything, but I would just say you have to actually talk this out and you have to, you know, be realistic about it and like, like. And. But, yeah, I don't think. I think, you know, the. The open thing is kind of crazy. And, you know, also, like, why is this dick not getting hard? Like, figure it out. And. And I. I like, you know, that's happened to me. I will say I have been in relationships like this where it kind of started out messy, and then, like, when we actually committed, it was like, I actually feel like my dick worked better.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know, because I was actually in love. Like, I actually loved the person.

[Eldest]

When you actually feel emotion, it's.

[Stavi]

It's incredible that literally we broke up in both instances. A week after that, as soon as I had that feeling, I was like, oh, nope, not gonna. As soon as you buy in, it's like in 1984, once you love big brother, that's when he kills you. That's what I felt like with my exes. But, you know, just be honest and about what you want and see what you. And, like, maybe you can work through this. And look. Bluechew.com promo code stavi pay five bucks for. All you gotta do is pay shipping. Five bucks. You know, consider that. But, yeah. Good luck out there, sister. Go ahead, Eldons.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

Shout. The eldest and esteemed guest, longtime listener, first time caller. Hope the day is going well for you guys. Quick, quick question. Got Kind of a. An issue here. Looking for some wisdom. So I have a group of friends, you know, the, the stereotypical group of friends that, you know, been friends since. Since high school. A little background. You know, I'm 29, so the fact that it's. Well, kind of sort of made it this. This long is. Is a miracle in itself. But had something occur a couple months ago was, you know, looking through Facebook, not something I do frequently, but just thought I'd hop on and check, you know, see whose birthday I missed and saw that just, you know, another little background. It's four of us. So sorry that that is pertinent, but saw that one of them got. Got married. Like I said, just a couple months ago.

[Stavi]

Well, let me stop there.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

You know, we are.

[Stavi]

Your friend group didn't make it. If you just realized your friend got married. I mean, hold on. I guess they could have listening. Okay. Okay.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

Like I said, just a couple months ago and, you know, we are all are in a group chat together. You know, we've been. We see each other probably once a year, once every other year, as much as we. We can. But yeah, saw that one of them had gotten married and two of the guys were groomsmen and his. His wedding. So all three of them were there. Like I said, I found out through Facebook and it was pretty heartbreaking. I, you know, said something in the group chat and then immediately left and, you know, didn't hear anything from. From them for probably about a week. And then the guy who got married reach out to me and just said, hey, like, what's your deal? Why'd you leave the group chat? I felt like that wasn't, you know, worth a response, so I didn't say anything. And then, you know, a couple months go by. Sorry, a couple weeks go by and, you know, another one of my friends there in the group chat then reaches out to me and. And basically apologizes on behalf of. Of the friend that got married for not inviting me. I kind of have a feeling where this is going, but, you know, like I said, I just thought I'd call and see what kind of advice you guys might. Might be able to offer up. Like I said, it's pretty hurtful. You know, we've been friends for, you know, 15 years of my life, pretty much half my life, and. And just kind of feels like a real, you know, stab in the dick. So appreciate you guys. Love you. Bye.

[Stavi]

What did I need to keep. I was completely right.

[Eldest]

No, this. This guy did not get invited.

[Stavi]

I know that's what I'm saying it's like if. If your best friends got and had a wedding and didn't you didn't hear about it. They're not your friends.

[Eldest]

Yeah. Oh, I thought you were saying about all of them, not just him, one of them. It's either you, the caller or the three guys. One group of you is a humongous.

[Stavi]

Right. Did you do anything? Now look, look, the other two guys are potent. There's. There are ways. I mean the guy, the other two guys. Like, if this were to happen. I mean, again, I can't fathom this happening. It's just insane.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Right. My friends from high school or even longer. It's like no one would ever get invited to. No one ever get married and we wouldn't find out about it. That seems now maybe something. Maybe there's a dinner or something. Like you might feel left out out. But even if you feel left out of something, I feel like one party is leaving somebody out and the other. It's the other party. The other guy's job to be like, hey, why the aren't we involving exactly what's his face?

[Eldest]

That's what I like, like one of my other. One of the two other friends would have reached out to me particularly. They would have done it pre wedding, but they definitely would have done it after I sent a text and left the group chat.

[Stavi]

I know, like they would take a couple months after that bad for them to reach out to you. That's insane.

[Eldest]

If like they would have immediately been like, dude, sorry about that. Tommy's an.

[Stavi]

Or whatever. Whatever.

[Eldest]

They would have said.

[Stavi]

I mean, yeah. You could have been like, look, it was really weird. It's ultimately his wedding. I thought it would have things up. I feel really bad about it. Can I make it up to you? Whatever. Right. Like they're a little complicit. But it's. First of all, this. The guy whose wedding it is just isn't your friend.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

I mean just he's not your friend at all.

[Eldest]

The caller. You seem like a very nice guy. So it doesn't. I don't think think it's you, but someone here is a humongous.

[Stavi]

Someone's a piece of someone secretly doesn't like him. And look, that's kind of like it could be that our. This person who's calling in here is a nice guy, but nobody really with him that hard in the group that he's the guy who's always like, he's been around forever. But it's like, look, do I maybe the guy's wife doesn't like him and she's like, oh, you want to invite him? We're having a small wedding and some like, all right, you know, you, I, I told you you couldn't bring your stupid cousin. We'll cut this idiot. I don't care. Like, but even, but either way, you.

[Eldest]

You still usually get like, even you're on the groomsman. Like, you're still invited.

[Stavi]

No, don't get me wrong. This is insane. Like, I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around. It's not even just, he heard about it on Facebook. It wasn't like, hey, man, having a super small wedding, it's not, you know, like, we're not invite, you know, even like breaking it to him in a way that's like, if this guy cared about you at all.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

And there was any. I guess a follow up is like, was it a big wedding? Was it the kind of thing where it's like at a courthouse and he, they were his two groomsmen and she had two friends and like, yeah, it hurts to be left out of that, but it's not fully right.

[Eldest]

There's not a problem for there.

[Stavi]

But also this guy being like, what the hell's your problem? It's like, what are you, you kidding me?

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You didn't invite me to your wedding and you didn't even tell me about it. I think the worst of everything is finding out on Facebook in every way. Also, why didn't your friends give you. The other two guys give you a little bit of a heads up? Maybe the one guy who reached out to you, you can possibly repair that relationship, but until the other guy apologizes to you and when, when he blew up the group chat, did he exp. I mean, I don't know that you have to explain himself, but it's like, like, do you feel like you said what you needed to say?

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Cuz if that's the case, cut these people out of your life until. If, until someone reaches out to you, you can talk to him. You know, you can talk to the guy who reached out to you, but this friend group is over. I mean, this friend group is so beyond over.

[Eldest]

But also like kind of what we were saying in the last voicemail where like, honesty and communication is key. Like, there's kind of a silver lining to this where like, like people finally told you the truth. Be like, for whatever reason, whether it's your fault, whether it's their fault, you know, these, you do not have a relationship with these people. You can move on. You can go sew your oats elsewhere, but, like, there's no coming back from that.

[Stavi]

Yeah, for sure. And it's like, it is hurtful. I mean, you do have to realize, like, oh, this friend group was full of at least one. There was at least one snake in it. And that sucks. That kind of. Of. That kind of makes you reassess all your memories. Like, now you're like, do I even. This is kind of the equivalent of like, when. When you thought a loving partner cheats on you.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

And now you have trust issues. Like, I hate to say it, but, like, this. This is the kind of thing where you're like, do I even know who my friends are? But you know what I mean?

[Eldest]

Like, there's also, like, beauty in that, though, where, like, I remember seeing a clip of Stevo talking about his alcohol, and he was talking about how he's so lucky because he was like, I had it so bad that I had to stop.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

He's like, what? He's like, the worst thing could be like, I'm just good enough that I can still get by every day.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And he's like, and I'm.

[Stavi]

You could still go on, like, stadium arena tours, still have Netflix shows and special. For example. You know, we're not saying anybody in particular. Not a dude. Dear friend of ours that I'm literally worried about, who doesn't seem like he'll ever stop, you know? Yeah, yeah, Steve.

[Eldest]

Me on tour with him in November. But, like. But there is, like, such, like. Like, oh, yeah. Like, the. The worst situation to me is like, these guys are your. Like, for the next rest of your life, you're walking around being like, these are my three best friends, and they don't actually give a. About you. Like, at least now, you know, you're 29. I think you said, like, you can cut it out. Be it. And find a new friend group who's going to be good to you for sure.

[Stavi]

For sure. And I think, like, yeah, like, yeah, totally. And you probably have other friends. It's like this. You're not a bad guy. This isn't your fault. This is their fault. So that's the other thing to remember is, like, don't let that thought of, like, am I ever. Did I ever have. Really have friends? Like, yeah, you did all you could to be a good friend of these people, at least to. To, you know, most of them. And then, yeah, maybe one of these guys, the one guy that texts you even though even his shit is kind of weak. Week if they don't really apologize. Like you don't need these people in your life and that sucks. Right. Sometimes it hurts to be like, well them. And then they just never give a. Yeah. Or contact you. You're like, damn. I was hoping they would. I was hoping I leave dramatically and they chase after me. But I guess they literally don't give a about me at all. And that really stings. But like you said, it's better to know who's in your life. Wife who actually wants to be there and who doesn't want to be there.

[Eldest]

Yeah. Have some pride in yourself, man. Don't let it be 10 years later and you're like, yeah, it's my fault. I didn't know how to read the relationship. Those guys, man, they you over them.

[Stavi]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Eldest]

You know, he scrolled up to the, to the date in the group thread when the wedding happened and just saw how Mia they were for like four.

[Stavi]

Days in a row.

[Eldest]

All these touch picks makes a lot more sense now.

[Stavi]

Why is no one, why is no one confirming the date of our fantasy football?

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

Hey Dove. Longtime listener, first time caller, also Patreon listener. I love the Patreon Elvis. Hope you guys are having a great time. My question comes. I'm a 24 year old college student. I usually have a good time talking to people but. But I really struggle with sports. You know, I don't really watch a lot of sports. I grew up with a lot of women who just only cared about reality TV shows like BET award shows and stuff like that. And I mean I never really gotten into sports myself. I was a band kid, little nerdy guy. So I mean I never really had a reason to. I played football in middle school, kind of hated it. So I mean that's as far as I got with that. And right now I just know stuff about ultimate Frisbee, you know what I mean? Even then I just noticed some YouTuber is also an ultimate Frisbee player and that my extent on that, on that sport. So I just like is there any way do you know any like what the beginner sport and get into to like fake. I guess put it in comics conversation like I know what's going on or just like what's a good way of just I'm getting into sports as a whole. I mean I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm in Alabama. So I'm, I know the classic like Alabama, Auburn and all that stuff. But I mean like I just kind of say I go for Alabama because I'm in Alabama. So I mean, that's as far. That's really, that's really all I can do right now. So give me some tips. Thank you guys so much and hope you have a great day. Thank you.

[Stavi]

Interesting. So he just wants to be able to talk sports enough to like, get survive day to day in Alabama. I mean, the first thing I'll say is, like, you don't have to talk about sports. Right. Like, you have your own interests.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Plenty of people like talking about fucking reality TV shows.

[Eldest]

Like, I guess not as many. Like the tech, YouTube, Frisbee, golfers.

[Stavi]

Yeah, don't mention ultimate Frisbee ever again. You know, whatever you like it, that's great. That's a personal thing. You're not gonna make friends talking about ultimate Frisbee. I do think, though, I do. I've said this a lot, right. To people where it's like one of the great social lubricants in America is knowing anything about. Pick one sport. I mean, you, you bang for your buck. Football, bang for your buck. Across America. NFL.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Most people in America are at least cursorily understand the NFL. And the nice thing about the NFL is like, even if you're not big on the sport, like, you could conceivably play fantasy and kind of play it as a, like, little game. Like, there are people who know players because of fantasy who don't really watch the games.

[Eldest]

I, I've, I've heard that from broadcasters.

[Stavi]

Oh, interesting.

[Eldest]

Like commentators that they started playing. I'm really referring to one person specifically, but they started playing fantasy once they stopped playing in the NFL and started doing broadcasting because they were like, it's the only way I could learn names.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Eldest]

And I was like, oh, that actually makes a lot of sense.

[Stavi]

Yeah. And so it's like a way to kind of keep up with it. And it's all. You gamify it in a different way. That might help for a little nerd, you know, former nerdy guy, whatever. And also, it's like you just kind of have to know the very basics. The other thing that's like very, you know, there's a lot of, you know, people blend a lot of like entertainment and sport and sports now, you know, you might be able to find like. I'm sure there's specifics. I'm sure there's like specific, like, you know, like things that are not just that aren't very stats oriented. It's more about like the vibe or whatever.

[Eldest]

That's what I was gonna say.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Eldest]

You know, my My biggest advice would be go to a game I like. It can be high school football, it can be college football, it can be NFL football, whatever. But like, me personally, I need to feel part of the environment. And like, I, I, I'm not, not that I'm a huge EPL guy or tennis guy, but, like, those are sports I've been to lately and I've, I've found myself a much bigger fan of them because you, you get to feel the full experience. I don't, like, I'm, I'm the exact opposite of what we just said where, like, gamifying it doesn't work for me. Yeah, I gotta feel it.

[Stavi]

And I think that's, I do think it's like, I do think it's almost like one or the other of those things. And I think, like, for, for somebody like this who's just trying to survive, basically, it's like, I would say, honestly, like, the easiest way, I think is like, from your computer fantasy or I mean, you're in Alabama. Like, if you listen to one, pick one Alabama college football podcast.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And listen to that once a week, week, and just sort of be aware of it, you're golden. Right. Like, that's enough to get it. Or if you actually go to the games and you'd be like, I was there, I had. Because it is, it is a completely different thing.

[Eldest]

And you feel the effect the sport has on people. Like, again, it can be high school level. It doesn't, you don't have to buy a ticket to the Alabama game. You can buy a ticket to a high school game, but you just see, like, the effect it has on people, people, and you're like, oh, this is cool. And then that's, again, that's what worked for me. That, like, I want to learn more.

[Stavi]

About it that way. I mean, I also think there's so many podcasts now that aren't hard analytics or whatever. That's like, I think the real thing is like, find a sports podcast, you enjoy that, like, you're into for sort of like the personalities.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

And, and kind of just listen to, you know, kind of listen to that.

[Eldest]

Because that is how most guys consume sports. It's like it's just reality tv for sure. Like, they say they love watching the product on the field, but like, they like talking about the drama of trades, who's banging who, who's dating this person. Like, it's just reality tv. So if you like reality TV consumer that way.

[Stavi]

And I think it's a podcast, like, you have to Hunt for a bit of a podcast. But, like, people, look, I'm not a big college football guy. People do love, you know, college football, so I'm sure those exist. You know, like, back in the day, me and Sam Morill used to do a basketball podcast that was more comedy. You know, it was like, much more comedy. It was like we would make fun of the storylines and all this stuff. And I'm sure that exists, I mean, for like, football, if you want to do that. I mean, like, pardon my take, it's like the hugest show for a reason. It's like people, you know, like, there. That's a great example of something that is fun. A lot of barstool stuff is kind of like that, where it's like, you know, you can latch onto the personalities and sometimes the sport is kind of secondary. And it's like, I think there's so much sports media out there for our friend here where it's like, I think you can find something that'll kind of keep you grounded and especially even if you don't even want to watch the games. Like, there were times, even when I was really into the hoops where I would be really busy and I wouldn't watch that much, but I would still listen to, like, recaps of stuff, you know, that kind of thing. So. So I think you gotta just like. I think my tip is like, pick one thing. I mean, for you, it's probably college football because it's the biggest thing in. In the South. I mean, it's like Alabama. It's bigger than the NFL. Any other part of the country, I would say the NFL is probably the most bang for your buck. But also, in certain cities, the NBA is bigger, you know, like, so pick one sport. Pick one podcast. You like, like, and let that kind of guide you. And that's enough to just. All you want is enough to get you through an elevator ride with a guy wearing a Alabama. You don't have to be a expert. You know what I mean?

[Eldest]

So also the word crapshoot. I. I had a buddy once say that we were on a boat, and he's like, if you just want to know what you're talking about, just say the word crap. Yeah, like, anytime, like, someone was on the dock, he'd be like, ah, it's a crap shoot out there today.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And the guys would be like, I know, and keep walking by. And I like, was like, he doesn't know what the he's talking about.

[Stavi]

A couple cliches will take you along a very Very long way.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

But yeah, dude, good luck out there. I, you know, it's admirable what you're trying to do to just be able to talk to your neighbors so perfectly.

[Eldest]

Alabama too. Like someone has to call into a helpline. How do I like sports? I can't talk to anyone in the state.

[Stavi]

Totally. And then honestly it might be like move. You know what I mean? Like you don't have to stay in fucking Alabama, dude.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

Avi Eldest and guests. Thank you guys taking this call. Hopefully on pre one. Just wanted to run something by real quick. Me and my fiance just had a bachelor bachelorette trip over the past week. We were gone for about four days, three nights. While we were gone. We had my in laws or her, her parents, my in laws watching over our animals for the week that we were gone. And we have two bedroom apartment with a nice sized living area for the living room, giant couch, spare bedroom, has a like a queen size pullout couch that not the most comfortable, but we usually make do when they do stay with us. While we were gone, our in laws ended up staying in our bed and we don't know how to feel about it. They, they didn't pass. They kind of just stayed in our bed. Didn't change the sheets, didn't change the. All of our stuff, all of our private info, all of our private, you know, sex shit's in there. So we were just kind of skeezed out that they would do that without asking. And now it's causing kind of a tip. So just wanted to kind of run that by. Am I overreacting or is that something that we should kind of set boundaries for? We kind of told them up front like, hey, don't use our vehicles, don't go in our room. Like that's our private stuff. They don't pay anything towards our apartments, just everything that we bought.

[Stavi]

So we didn't pay anything.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

Just want you to hopefully tell me that I'm not crazy but would understand on the other side as well. So hopefully there's enough contact there, but hope you guys have a great rest of your day. And loved tires. Savid, the great Albanian quote in there saying that they're shifty. Made me absolutely love you guys.

[Stavi]

Yeah, we did that. That was an on set kind of punch up for me. I'm sorry. Okay. A couple things. They were house sitting for you essentially, right.

[Eldest]

Watching the pets.

[Stavi]

Watching the pets. They're gone for what, a weekend?

[Eldest]

I think four days. Four nights.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Okay.

[Eldest]

Nights, four days.

[Stavi]

And you say they don't Pay anything towards your apartment? Like, of course not. You're adults. What do you mean? Why are you even throwing that in there?

[Eldest]

Well, I, I kind of get that. Because I can actually give a little story here that makes me kind of get that where this is funny. The Sox Tigers was game three of the divisional series. The poppy home run. The poppy grand slam.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Eldest]

Me and my dad were at that game. I was living in Boston at the time. And we ended up getting up afterwards. We were so excited. It was a crazy game. Gotham. My dad ended up staying in my apartment with me. He couldn't drive back home.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldest]

And we get back, we get into my apartment and I just kind of like, out of being nice, was like, hey, you can take my bed, I'll take the couch. And he's like, cool, thanks. And went to bed. And I was like, like, well, hang on a second. Time out. Like, just so you're. It's clear, like, I do pay for this apartment. Like, do you? Because when he would come visit me in college sometimes he would. I'd give him the bed and he'd take it.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldest]

And at the time, he was helping me out financially, so I was like, all right, he gets the bed, no big deal. At that point I was like, you can't just take my bed, dude.

[Stavi]

Yeah, but you asked it, you offered it. It's like, it's not. See, this is like, I think like when you're younger, it's like, I'm dad, I get to do what I want. Want. But when you're not, it's like, yeah, that's hot. You're talking about hospitality, you know what I mean? Like, you're talking and so like, to me, you are like, is this weird? Yes. Right? Like, well, first of all, the weird part is not changing the sheets. If someone is. Is house sitting for me. Yes, they're gonna sleep in your Bedford. Did you set up the bed for them? Did you. If you wanted them in the guest room, did you say, hey, hey, here's some clean sheets, here's some towels. Stay in the guest room. Our bed's a mess. Whatever. Like, you sound immature here. Honestly, like, when you have someone's house sitting for you, you set things up for them. And these are not strangers. These are your in laws. So you or your girl should have told. Told them like, hey, you know, we'd prefer if you didn't sleep in the. He said they have a guest room or no work.

[Eldest]

Yeah, they have a guest room with like a shitty pull out. I Couldn't. I couldn't even tell what he meant when he said make it work. Because he was like, it's uncomfortable, but we make it work. I don't know if that means, like, they sleep on it. Like the. He. He and his wife sleep on it when they're there or if the in laws sleep on there. He did make that really clear.

[Stavi]

But they're not there at the same time as the in laws, Correct?

[Eldest]

In this. In this scenario, they're not.

[Stavi]

So, okay, if you have a guest room with a bed, they have to stay there. But if you have a pull out, they're not sleeping on a fucking pull out for four days.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

You have to assume that you like a guest room. That's why it's a luxury. It's because, you know, you have a dedicated space for guests. They don't go into your shit. They have their own space. It's nice. You're not getting your fucking in laws to sleep in a pull out. Like, and now if you're there and someone's crashing with you, of course they're taking the pull out. Or, or if you're being nice.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You're like, we'll take the bed. You know, if it's like someone who's older or something, it's like, you take the bed, I'll be in the pullout. But, but here's the thing. I understand why this happened because neither your in laws nor you have correct manners. Right. Like, it's insane that in laws left the place shittier than they found it.

[Eldest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

Like, they kind of. This is like when your buddy crashes with you didn't change the sheets. Just went into your.

[Eldest]

Didn't even at least take the sheets off the bed. Bare minimum.

[Stavi]

Yeah, take them off the bed. Start a load of laundry. Be like, sorry, I didn't get a chance to. You know, I had to leave.

[Eldest]

You do that in an Airbnb, let alone.

[Stavi]

Yeah, they treated you worse than a Airbnb, dude.

[Eldest]

Honestly, it's. This is crazy to me because I would not even expect my in laws to like, change the sheets after they, like, crash at my place. I mean, they might and it would be a nice gesture, but it's like.

[Stavi]

Well, here's the thing, though. You're right. Here's the thing. Them changing the sheets would be them overcompensating for him not setting the bat. Because what you do is you change the sheets knowing they're gonna stay in your. Right. So the fact that. And maybe, you know, maybe they just assume like, oh, obviously they said they gave us new sheets or whatever. Like if it was my wife's parents.

[Eldest]

Maybe it's a little different if it's like my wife's like you know, brother or something crashing. But I know like be being like pissed at like your parent in laws like wouldn't even change the sheets just seems a little crazy to me. And thinking either a having proof or thinking that they rifled through your stuff is also like sounds like these are just people you shouldn't be allowing to stay in your home. You don't have a close enough relationship.

[Stavi]

Did they write. Is that what he said? Do they actually rifle?

[Eldest]

No, he's like, he's like we have like all our stuff sex toys in there. It's like this is your fault, dude.

[Stavi]

Someone is doing you a favor. There's crashing in your bed. Idiot. That's how this works. And so I guess you're right. I guess in a, in like a world, like if somebody, if my mother or mother in law was staying with me. Yeah. I would absolutely take care of everything. I would change the sheets for them and I would have some fresh towels, whatever. And then it was my mom. She's probably changing the sheets because that's how she is. But if they didn't, I would change the sheets, whatever. So yes, you're wrong. You are crazy. They were crashing with you. What did you expect them just do you a favor and just like. And did you have sheets for the guest room? Did you have set out? This is a problem in communication where you know, also it's like it's a little bit on your fiance because these are her parents. Yeah.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

If any, if it's anyone's job to communicate this, it's the person whose parents they are. So you know, but also you have strange expectations for, you know, people doing you a favor. Cuz they are looking at, you know, they're looking over your animals. They're saving you pet sitter money. They're saving you like dog walk or whatever.

[Eldest]

The, the fridge should be full for them. The, the pantry should be full for them. The towels should be clean like that. They're going out of their way for you. They're putting themselves in a not vulnerable position. But they're, they're out of their home.

[Stavi]

They're the ones doing the favor here. And so you're going to let them sleep on a couch?

[Eldest]

Yeah, yeah. Just watch the dog walk the dog. What's got the couch should be all set like what are you talking about, dude?

[Stavi]

Yeah. How old Is this guy.

[Eldest]

I want to say I saw 29 or that might have been last voicemail.

[Stavi]

No, yeah, he didn't say. So anyway, whatever, dude. Yeah, you're a idiot and you just need to talk about this. You need to just like ex and listen, maybe these people, you know, maybe they agree with you, but either way, you have to clear this before. Yeah, like, you can't. You didn't tell them the ground rules. Also, like, if someone gave me these ground rules, I'd be like. Like, it's kind of weird. Like, okay, I guess I'll sleep in your spare bedroom.

[Eldest]

Like, how about you, dude?

[Stavi]

Yeah, exactly, exactly. So, yeah, sorry, man, we are ruling against you. But I mean, I also think this is like partially. This is cultural. This is like European too, where it's like you bend over backwards for a guest, let alone your idiot in law. Like.

[Eldest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

Even when you hate them, you actually treat them better when you hate them because you don't want to give them an excuse to bad mouth. You have to give them perfect treatment. What do you got, little el Duns? Let's go.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

What up, St. Eldest? Esteemed guest or guest? Just gonna keep this simple. I've been dating my girlfriend for about three years now. Everything's going great. Only problem is that I kind of come quickly and you know, I've tried a lot of different things to not come quickly. I just. I can't not do it. I mean. I mean, it's not that quick, but it just doesn't satisfy her.

[Eldest]

Sounds like it's pretty quick, bro.

[Stavi]

Sounds like it's quick enough, my brother.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

It's not that quick, but it just doesn't satisfy her. And she's a little vanilla when it comes to sex, you know? But she mentioned that she wanted me specifically to buy her a vibrator. And she has never even owned one. Used one. I've never had any experience with it myself, but I don't know where to begin, what to do. I want to help her, obviously. I want her to, you know, feel satisfied and. Yeah, I just don't know what to do. She's a little, like I said, vanilla. She doesn't want to go to like a store or anywhere where someone could judge her or whatever.

[Eldest]

I don't know.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

It's not that big of a deal to me down to go with you to a store, whatever. But yeah, what do I do? I mean, do I just go on the Internet? Just hope for the best one, you know? I don't. I don't know.

[Stavi]

So.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

All right.

[Stavi]

What?

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

Anyways, thanks. Love the show.

[Stavi]

This is awesome.

[Eldest]

Peace, sir. You've come to the right place. We are the two most four, the foremost vibrator experts on the Internet.

[Stavi]

I mean, it's kind of nuts that she's that up. She's like, scared to buy a viper. She's never had one. That could be a big problem for you. She figures out how awesome vibrators are, your two pump chump ass is out. Out the door. All right, so you're busting fast. Are you eating? Are you making this woman bust in other ways? Are you applying yourself now? Look, I think a vibrator is cool. I think getting a vibrator in the mix is cool.

[Eldest]

Yeah, I've never really had a vibrator in the mix.

[Stavi]

It's not.

[Eldest]

Not regularly.

[Stavi]

I've had it, sure.

[Eldest]

Certain occasions, sure.

[Stavi]

Never been like a dragging off with a vibrator up your ass. When it's your birthday, you've got your friend, you get bought a new pair of heels. You're putting the vibrator. Yeah, of course. Special occasions. No, I know, but I. Yes. It's not like it's day to day, but it's like there's been times where you know someone I'm hooking up with or dating. It's like you get a viper in the mix, and I think it's cool because it's just an accom. It's an accompaniment to sex.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know, it's kind of like just another quiver in your. Another arrow in the quiver. And so, yeah, dude, I would say for this guy, do a little re. Look, your girl's a little. She doesn't want to, like, delve into this, then maybe do a little research, look up, like, best. Best vibrators for, like, a partner to control. I'm sure that's a. I'm sure that's a category of vibrate. Yeah. 1.

[Eldest]

Like a vibrator for your partner, for somebody. Yeah.

[Stavi]

I'm sure there's something where it's like, you know, because definitely you're not. She's never really used one. You don't. You definitely don't know what the. You're doing. You're gonna need something that's like the easiest. In my head, I'm like, is there something with a lot of surface area? Is.

[Eldest]

Isn't it the rabbit? Isn't the rabbit like the.

[Stavi]

I think. I think it's like the kind of thing where you gotta really know. It's like a woman with a rabbit that knows her body can make Herself bust fast.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I don't know that he'll be able. And again, in my experience is sometimes some smaller. It's harder to pinpoint exactly where it needs to be.

[Eldest]

Hard to find the clit, you're saying?

[Stavi]

Yeah, Especially with the viper. Yeah, it's like the. Wherever it needs to be, the clit. Like, you kind of know where the clit is, but then it's like, where do you put the viber?

[Eldest]

Exactly.

[Stavi]

In addition to this. Yeah.

[Eldest]

Sometimes you gotta throw it. It's like throwing pasta at the wall. Yeah. Hopefully it's stink.

[Stavi]

Yeah. She just takes. It just becomes like. Like ghost. Where it's just like, you know, puts her hand over your hand and guides it onto her pussy. You don't even really need to be there. It's like when a baby helps make dinner or something. It's like, hand me the spatula. Good job, buddy. So I would say do a little research. Don't start with anything super, you know, just research that. I don't know the best one off the top of my head. I don't know.

[Eldest]

I would. I would. I'd strongly recommend going to a store with her. It seems like, go in a different town or whatever. They're pretty. They're pretty discreet with it. It's pretty like, I've been to a couple of sex shops in my day. They're. They're. They're pretty discreet. If you're in the suburbs and you're gonna have more fun in there with her because you're gonna be able to make it, like, kind of a joke.

[Stavi]

Look, I know what you're saying, but I think this woman is pretty. Like, it seems like she's in the perfect world. You're absolutely right. Yeah, right. But it seems like she's resistant. I think, if anything, this could be a. Get the ball rolling. Do your little research. She wants you to be a man and buy the vibrator. Right. She wants you to provide for her. You can't make her bust with your dad. Dick. You do the research and get her a vibrator. So I would say start with one. Do the research on the best one for a partner to control. Whatever. Buy a couple. If you, you know, whatever. Like, just figure it. I don't know what to tell you. And then hopefully this is like a step in the right direction for her. Getting a little freakier, getting a little more comfortable. Maybe if she likes it, but it's not quite right, then you can go to a store together. But I think it's like baby steps here, right? And he's also, you know, know, he seems to be very worried about how fast he busts. So it's like, you know, he has a little guilt there. Like, make up for your quick busts, maybe in other ways.

[Eldest]

Try a little porn with, like, maybe not even watching it together, but maybe send her, like, a vibrator porn and be like, I don't know.

[Stavi]

Vibrator. Oh, in like, a. What does this look like to you? How does this look to you?

[Eldest]

Yeah, like, if it's just a chick, like, playing there with herself, like, me, hey, is this somebody you know? You're not gonna send her one of those back massagers, but you see, like, is this one appeal to you? I don't get it. It seems like maybe she's scared of.

[Stavi]

The porn, but I think this is something you just kind of have to dive in blind. Yeah, but that's why he has to do his research, because I think, like, she's not giving him much here. Yeah, right. She's like, you. You figure this out for me.

[Eldest]

Just try him first. Like, babe, this one felt great in my ass.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I think it's up to you. Do a little re. Do a little research and buy one. One and then introduce it into, you know, into your. Into. Into. And see what happens there. But, you know, if you're busting fast, do some other stuff. Finger pop. Eat whatever it is.

[Eldest]

Dude, if you're not eating, get eating.

[Stavi]

Absolutely. I think that's. That goes without saying. Interesting. You got anything fun for us to go out on here, little eldest?

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

Hey, Stavi. Elder us. Whoever the guest is, I'm sure they're great. Longtime listener, first time caller. This might be a dumb one. I am 32, and I recently was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had to immediately go to surgery where I had it removed. The recovery process has been long, but I already have very weird feelings being down to one nut, I guess. And I don't know that I want to do the prosthetic. Talking to several of the surgeons and such. They did not recommend getting the prosthetic, but I still am worried about hooking up or being intimate in the future with someone and them being shocked by the discovery of their only being a singular testicle. Sorry that I don't subscribe to the Patreon. I was uninsured when this all came about, so I'm trying to financially deal with.

[Stavi]

Take 60 bucks a year.

[Caller 2 (Friend Group Caller)]

Hope to hear this potentially in the future. Basically just kind of trying to figure out how do I still feel like a real man, when I'm down to half the nuts. Thanks, man.

[Stavi]

Dude, this is fully just. You're in your head way too much.

[Eldest]

Yeah, the, the last part I can't speak to because I imagine that does you up. Like I'm. I, I don't know the psychology of it, but I guess that last sentence of like, I don't know how to like how I am a man anymore. I get that.

[Stavi]

Let me say this. There's many things that, that make you less of a man than having one nut.

[Eldest]

Yes.

[Stavi]

I promise you, you. You have emasculated yourself in many other way. There are many things all of us do that make us less of a man. That has nothing to do with what kind of nuts you have.

[Eldest]

Yeah, look how I've been sitting the whole.

[Stavi]

And so I, I know, look, we can't speak to the experience, but I will say this. Girls aren't measuring nuts. They're not. When they're like, they don't know shit about your balls, dude. Like, they really don't. It would. It might just look like you have little nuts, which isn't great, but guys with little nuts get pussy as well. And also like I've had girls who have been like, oh, I didn't realize you were like girls I hooked up with multiple times. Like, wait, you're uncircumcised. It's like. Like what?

[Eldest]

That's the whole thing.

[Stavi]

You didn't know that? Like they're not really, you know, like may. Now hopefully you find some real freaks that can really tell if. Here's the thing. If you found a freak that noticed you have less nuts, you're already in. You're already playing with house money. She's sucking your balls, she's playing with your nuts. She's playing with. She's tickling your grundle, she's getting in there. And she's the kind of open minded person that wouldn't really give a. Either way. And so I don't think, I mean, look, who am I to just tell you, don't worry about it. But it's like this is not something to worry about. This is like the, the important thing is you're healthy. You can still. It might look weirder to you but like I promise you, like girls don't. Like, if you were with a girl and like she was missing half her lips, would you really know? So many girls have different looking. So many guys have different looking bones, malls, you wouldn't know, dude. And I think in the same way most women wouldn't Necessarily. Like you're not going to be in a lineup. It's not going to be like, here's four guys with two nuts and one guy with one. Right. You'll never. That'll never happen. I mean, I don't know what kind of freak you're. Maybe it will. I don't mean. Yeah, if you're listening, if you're, if you're at a bukkake, maybe this becomes a problem, right? If you're getting fluffed, they notice one nut compared to the other guys. But most of the time, if you're talking about regular intimacy with somebody that you're dating or have some kind of even casual relationship with, this is not going to be an issue. And I have plenty of. I actually have multiple friends who had their nut had one nut removed. We have shout out to one ball. Nate 1 Truly one of a great guy from college never stopped him. My boy's doing great. He was getting sucked off and he's kind of, you know, he's not handsome. Just a nice guy with one ball. Sorry, Nate. You know, you're not a sexy guy. You're. You're a great guy, but no one think, you know, based off you off of other stuff. He's getting pussy in the same way you will get pussy. People will want to hook up with you or dick, whatever. Maybe you're gay. If you're gay. If you're gay, don't even worry about this. In fact, if you're gay, it's probably. They have a little. There's a Bing. There's gay guys doing bingo. And we suck off a guy with one nut is the equivalent of G54. So yeah, dude, don't, don't worry about this.

[Eldest]

And also for like a nice bookend. Nemesh, we talked about the start. Nimasha said this. Exactly what you're saying. I honestly forget what he did. I forget if he said he got a prosthetic or if he left it the single. But he was like, it's never been an issue.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. And especially if you're. If your surgeons are saying you don't telling you don't get the prosthetic, obviously you're going to be in your own head. But even if someone notices it and you go, I had cancer and I had to get my ball job off, what's she going to say? Yeah, it also does not matter. It's not like they chopped half your off your balls don't matter. They're funny garnishes, but they're not really that important.

[Eldest]

Put that thing up your ass and just say you got no balls.

[Stavi]

That's true. Go no balls with it. That'll be cleaner. Yeah, you're fine. If anything, I was say, if you're really worried about it, maybe, you know, plump your nuts up a little bit. Put a little. You know, I was.

[Eldest]

I'm also surprised by the answer from the surgeons. Like a. A healthcare professional not trying to get you to get by more like what is interesting. I don't understand what the. I'm. I don't. I just don't want to say it conflicts. I forget what Nema said, but I'm pretty sure he said he got the testicle.

[Stavi]

Oh, he did.

[Eldest]

And I. I can't see why it would.

[Stavi]

I have two friends that have a prosthetic testicle. Cool. Let's see if has w been w. While many go for the available search results does not explicitly state whether Nimish has chosen.

[Eldest]

We found the limits of AI. He. He said it in his most recent KFC radio. So if you're curious, we talked about.

[Stavi]

He says he has one ball.

[Eldest]

Oh, he says he got just one.

[Stavi]

Oh, no, he has a silicone ball.

[Eldest]

Okay. So, yeah, he did go prosthetic.

[Stavi]

But look, dude, I don't think that matters matters, dude. I gotta be honest with you. But it's up to, you know, obviously, this is your choice, and if you're. You know, I think you're fine either way. And ultimately it is your choice if there's something that really you up. Fine. Get the prosthetic. The mesh has it. Fine. One ball. Nate, my friend from college, doesn't have it.

[Eldest]

One. One thing I always think of that is helpful to me is like, you're not the first person to have this concern. Like, there. You. There have been a million people who've lost enough thought. A million people who've had a life afterwards. Yeah, like, whatever. This sucks that you're feeling this. And I'm sorry about that. But, like, in a year, you won't be. Yeah, that. That's not really helpful. That, like, it'll get better.

[Stavi]

But I do think it is helpful. And I also think, again, I want to stress. I don't think most women give a. Yeah, truly. And then it's like, if you're not worried about it for sexual reasons, what are you worried about it for? You're good, brother. It's all you know. You'll be fine. Maybe you have a little ass dick and your nuts were a source of pride. Would it hurt me a little More losing one of my fat nuts. Y. But ultimately, it would be a reminder that I survived, that I beat cancer. Right.

[Eldest]

I was thinking, like, you know, what's better than two nuts?

[Stavi]

Make your dick look bigger. Having one bowl. Honestly, it's not bad. And I think they probably. I think it probably hangs kind of in the center. It's not like it just sticks to one side exactly. That probably. It's like, you know, it's like putting like a watermelon in a hammock. It's gonna go right to the center, dude. So anyway, good luck, buddy. You and your one ball are gonna do great. We believe in you. And that's gonna do it for us on this week's episode. Dude, thanks for coming.

[Eldest]

Thank you so much for having me stopping.

[Stavi]

Check out le mascot. It's all French. It's fully in French. You guys are putting it. It's putting. You're putting it on YouTube.

[Eldest]

It's on YouTube. It's on the out of Order channel. I think it's funny. I think anyone who likes this show, I think you'll. I think you'll like it. Give it a shout.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Check it out. Out. Check it out. It's cool. I mean, I do love seeing people put, like, actually produce highly produced stuff that matter. They really tried on YouTube. It's. It's a nice change of pace from content that, like, a lot of it is just like stream of consciousness. Streaming podcasts.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean? Like, it's nice to see highly produced.

[Eldest]

Stuff, and it is very highly produced. Our director, our editor, Pav. Mikey Pavanelli, he's unbelievable. Owen Roto, the writer. Unbelievable people. It's. It's great. So I. I hope you like it. We're pretty proud of it. So I think.

[Stavi]

Check it out. Check it out on the out of Order channel. And we will talk to you guys next time. Bye. Bye.