#150 - Rosebud Baker

Summary

Stavvy's World #150: Rosebud Baker

Release Date: October 13, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Rosebud Baker

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Episode Overview

In this episode, comedian Rosebud Baker joins Stavros Halkias for a late-night, freewheeling conversation about modern adulthood, parenting, sex, drugs, class, relationships, and the current state of comedy and politics. With their characteristic candor and humor, they field listener calls on everything from partners' odd behaviors to tricky family secrets, while sharing personal stories and observations about shifting cultural and economic realities.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Late-Night Partying & The Toll of Parenting

00:02 – 04:15

• Stav and Rosebud kick off discussing a friend's birthday party Rosebud attended—Stav pokes fun at being left out, riffing on the gender/sexuality makeup of such parties.
• They recount the presence of edibles and even Plan B on the snack tables.
• Anecdote: Stav talks about naively assuming a past partner was on birth control until a tense “Obvious Child” movie night forced a panicked Plan B run.
• Both reflect on the exhaustion and life-overhaul involved in child-rearing, with Rosebud emphatic about being “done” after one kid.

“People think, ‘I'm just gonna get it all out of the way’... the next time you see them, they look like they're fleeing a war-torn country.” — Rosebud Baker (04:00)

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2. Childhood, Refugee Stories & Spiritual People

05:03 – 07:41

• Elders (producer/friend) recounts being raised as a refugee, his time in a Greek monastery, and reuniting with the nun who taught him Greek.
• Stav, Rosebud, and Elders discuss meeting deeply spiritual people—how their presence and unwavering eye contact can feel “poetic” or unnerving.

“Sometimes people just have a vibe, like you feel like they know so much about you.” — Stavros Halkias (07:44)

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3. Only Children, New York Kids & Adulthood Shifts

09:00 – 10:48

• Rosebud rebuffs anxieties about her daughter growing up "weird" as an only child, describing the communal, socialized upbringing of city kids.
• Reflect on the extended “adolescence” of modern creative careers, realizing they're now the older adults they used to mock.

“Now I’m just like, oh, this is what—like, I was making fun of my friends at home when they were 26…and now I’m the same way, but I’m 36.” — Stavros Halkias (14:10)

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4. Fertility, Aging, and Health Anxieties

15:38 – 20:10

• Droll banter about late-in-life fertility issues, “old nut,” and debating if Stav should “freeze a nice batch” for future safety.
• Elders tells a hilariously grotesque story about a testicular infection ("epididymitis") and his regret not documenting it.
• They lament the ubiquity of plastics/microplastics, and speculate on the modern world’s future health hazards.

“My sperm is like 4% microplastics, 3% Ben and Jerry’s.” — Elders (19:23)

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5. Sex, Drugs, and Comedy Radio (and Podcast) Memories

20:13 – 22:27

• Reminisce about early shock-jock podcast/radio stunts.
• Stav describes a particularly wild visit to Anthony Cumia’s show, where a porn star unexpectedly “started saying some wildly racist shit,” and how unhinged the scene became.

“I was with a guy from Opie & Anthony with a racist porn star. Shit’s going good.” — Stavros Halkias (21:13)

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6. Food, Cigarettes, and Europe vs. America

25:05 – 28:29

• The group discusses the temptation of cigarettes when traveling in Europe versus the U.S., and how European food habits contrast with American processed-junk cravings.
• Both Stav and Rosebud note post-vacation struggles with re-entry into the “mac & cheese and snack foods” cycle.

“My first meal was air fried chicken tenders and mac and cheese, and I couldn't kick that meal for five days.” — Stavros Halkias (27:49)

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7. Drug Use: Crack, Adderall, Pills, and Suburban Upbringings

28:31 – 37:02

• Deep dive riff about smoking crack, upper-downer drug cocktails, their own “pill and weed” combos in youth, and how wealth and class shaped drug accessibility (“every one of my friend’s parents was on something...rich kid in the suburbs”—Rosebud).
• Joke about future “artisanal crack” trends and safe, rebranded versions.

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8. Class, Decline of the Middle, & Rise of Podcasting

39:33 – 42:43

• Rosebud notes increasing class betrayal as inherited wealth fades for many, observing, “if you grew up with money, that's going to end with me.”
• Both muse on podcasting’s weird emergence as a reliable career as other industries collapse.

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9. Culture Wars, Comedy, and Politics

41:44 – 55:53

• Serious reflections on how culture-war topics (trans issues, free speech, censorship) are weaponized by politicians and hack comics alike.
• Both host and guest express comic frustration over lazy “edgy” topics, arguing for riskier, more creative comedy.

“How do we let ourselves go like this, as comics?” — Rosebud Baker (49:07)
“Try and be a funny fucking person.” — Stavros Halkias (55:08)

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Listener Call-In Highlights

Call 1: Boyfriend’s “Nuts-Sniffing” Habit

57:01 – 63:00

• A caller asks how to address her neurodivergent boyfriend’s habit of smelling his hand after touching his genitals, sometimes in public.
• Stav & Rosebud agree: it’s not about neurodivergence—he’s just overly comfortable. Rosebud’s advice: public, good-natured shaming to create self-awareness.

“Just be like, did you just put your hand down your pants and smell your own nuts at the table? You need to say it out loud.” — Rosebud Baker (61:10)

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Twisted Ass Up Question of the Week: Father-in-law’s Secret Emotional Affair

66:48 – 77:18

• A man learns his close father-in-law is having an emotional affair and is sworn to secrecy, unsure whether to tell his wife.
• The hosts agree it’s an awful spot—the father-in-law is in the wrong for burdening him. General advice: keep quiet for now, unless things escalate ("if anything changes...tell your wife").
• Rosebud observes, even as a confidante, friends who reveal affairs get ditched, not partners.

“If anything changes, then you tell your wife. But as it is now, I wouldn’t.” — Rosebud Baker (74:28)

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Call 3: Fiancee Calls by Ex’s Name

78:29 – 86:47

• A caller is unnerved when his fiancée, after six years together, accidentally calls him by her ex’s name.
• Both agree: one time, it’s odd but not proof of anything serious. Unless it becomes a pattern, let it go.

“You're worried about a flood and you just saw a speck of water on the floor...just put a little paper towel and keep it moving.” — Stavros Halkias (86:08)

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Call 4: ‘Loser in Love’ Seeks Advice

88:50 – 97:47

• A self-described “loser” lists his good qualities but is baffled at never having a relationship.
• Panel: He's probably not putting himself out there enough, or may be a bit too reserved and polite (“Kenneth from 30 Rock”). Advice: Take action—apps, socializing, and possibly a “confidence booster” encounter before dating in earnest.

Call 5: Can I Stay Friends with Brother’s Ex?

98:53 – 104:01

• A woman’s brother cheats on his great girlfriend, and now caller wants to know if she can keep a relationship with her.
• Final consensus: It depends on what the ex wants—it's not the caller's decision.

Call 6: Living with Partner’s Hoarder Parents

105:19 – 114:01

• Caller has mooched twelve months living with boyfriend’s hoarder parents in an expensive city; she senses they want their space back.
• Advice: Time to make a plan and be honest. It’s not wrong to ask for more time, but expect to move soon.

Call 7: Integrating with Large Friend Groups – A Listener’s Perfect Advice

114:15 – 117:49

• Listener offers a strategic formula: lightly roast the group “whipping boy,” then defend him when others join in; make gentle fun of the “alpha” guys.
• Group agrees: “Really good advice”—this is exactly how to break into a large, established friend group.

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Notable Quotes

• Stavros Halkias, on podcasting-as-job:
  “Podcasting is the only growth industry in America. How did this happen?” (41:12)

• Rosebud Baker, on drugs in the suburbs:
  “Every one of my friend’s parents was on something...you go to your friend’s house, you look in their medicine cabinet—I still do it.” (36:27)

• Stavros Halkias, on 'culture wars' and comedy:
  “The Republican Party has become like hack comedians...if you don’t have a punchline, you go for trans or autism.” (43:12)

• Rosebud Baker, on ‘woke’ vs. culture war:
  “We need to bring WOKE back after three days, and we need to stop having masked agents.” (53:58)

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Natural Tone & Humor

Fans of Stav’s World will recognize the episode’s blend of confessional, playfully vulgar banter and big-hearted advice, punctuated by sharp social observations, colorful tangents, and Rosebud’s trademark acerbic insight.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Parenting stories & party talk: 00:02–04:15
• Spirituality & refugee memories: 05:03–07:41
• Only child/NY kids/society shift: 09:00–10:48
• Fertility & health anxiety: 15:38–20:10
• Testicle infection story: 18:13–19:29
• Drug & pill stories: 28:31–37:02
• Political/culture-war riffs: 41:44–55:53
• Call: boyfriend’s odd habit: 57:01–63:00
• Twisted question (father-in-law): 66:48–77:18
• Call: ex’s name slip-up: 78:29–86:47
• Call: “loser in love”: 88:50–97:47
• Call: brother’s ex: 98:53–104:01
• Call: living with hoarder parents: 105:19–114:01
• Advice for big friend groups: 114:15–117:49

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Plugs

• Rosebud Baker:

  • On tour – tickets at rosebudbaker.com
  • Netflix special “Motherlode”
  • Socials: @rosebudbaker on TikTok & Instagram

• Stavros Halkias:

  • Tour dates and podcast at stavvy.biz (implied)
  • Usual call-in number: 904-800-STAV

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In Summary

A classic “Stavvy’s World” hang with sharp, honest, deeply funny takes on adulthood, addiction, politics, and the endless hustle for happiness and connection. Rosebud Baker proves a generous, game guest both in her stories and in advice to those seeking wisdom in the wilds of modern life.

Transcript

[Stavros Halkias]

Welcome everybody to Stavi's world. 904-800. Stav call in. We'll solve your problems. Coming at you early. Rosebud's struggling. Yeah, I really am not drinking any. We're just up late.

[Rosebud Baker]

Just up late. I was dancing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. Dancing.

[Rosebud Baker]

I was dancing with pals and friend.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of the show, Marie Fouston. Who I don't recall either one of us getting invites to this party. Elvis friends for a decade at least. I am. I don't know about you.

[Elders]

That her birthday?

[Stavros Halkias]

I was it? What was it?

[Rosebud Baker]

It was her birthday.

[Elders]

Wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can you believe this? But I think everybody straight man there.

[Rosebud Baker]

I can't recall.

[Stavros Halkias]

That might be the one. If it's all women and gay guys, then maybe I'll let it slide up like late. Maybe Devon was there.

[Rosebud Baker]

Was there? Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was pretty. And they all.

[Rosebud Baker]

They both sat on the side.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, would that. Would that have been so much to ask to sit on the side and eat the snacks? None of the gay guys were eating. That's. I would have loved to that.

[Rosebud Baker]

It was great. There was edibles on every table. There was. There was the. The plan B pill was on every table.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love that.

[Rosebud Baker]

Which was great. Cuz it was just women and gay men.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gay guys taking it.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Take it for your pocket. Yeah, just put it in your pocket. Your back pocket.

[Stavros Halkias]

I wonder if there is a guy so gay he's mistakenly taken plan B after un. Yeah. After unprotected sex. He's like, I can't be a mother. After.

[Rosebud Baker]

After.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's just getting spit roasted at a gay club. That would be nice. I'm sure someone has done that.

[Rosebud Baker]

Prep is like plan B.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right? I don't think it works. I don't think it's like per load.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would be a lot of pills. They'd be. They'd have maracas walking around.

[Rosebud Baker]

Is it purse sperm? It's purse sperm.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, man. The plan B days. Yeah, I have. I have really nervously purchased some plan B and like not asked to see someone go, ah. But like. But like really looked at their. Been like, why don't we go get like coffee immediately under the time like a rehab. Hey, do you want a smoothie? Drink it all right now.

[Elders]

You turn into like James Bond trying to suss out the criminal guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, dude. Oh, good lord. I mean, I have told the story before, but there was a mo where I was like. I watched the Jenny Slate movie Obvious Child with a girl. I had been like kind of, you know, I'd Been like dating casually for a while. Not a mention of con. This is, you know, I'm in my early 20s. Not a mention of condoms in my head. I'm like, well, this is a responsible woman. She's not letting me. Raw dog, right? And then she goes, who I could. And it's like, jenny Slay gets an abortion. She's like, oh, I could never do that. I was like, yeah, but you know, you're on the pill. And she's like, I'm not on the pill. And I was like, oh, just my life flash before my eyes. I'm like, CVS open now. It was late. We went first thing in the morning.

[Rosebud Baker]

Damn.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, tough stuff.

[Rosebud Baker]

I think I just took.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'll.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'll take it. Like I'll just pick it up if it was there like last night. I just picked it up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. Good. Because I was like, old habits die hard. Yeah. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm like, I'm not gonna leave it here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's good to have.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Also, I'm not having a second K. It's.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're done.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm done. I'm done. So.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And that's. That's the toll on your body or the idea of like having another toll.

[Rosebud Baker]

On your life around.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Toll on your life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. It's.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Because I get that.

[Rosebud Baker]

Because not that I'm not saying, like, it's not worth it, but I'm just saying it's. It's crazy different than it.

[Stavros Halkias]

What if you. But the devil's advocate, it's like if you had one fat. Like if you adopted one right now. Yeah, right. You kind of get all the bullshit out at once and then you just kind of let them cohabitate.

[Rosebud Baker]

People think that's what people think. They go, right, I'm just gonna get it all out of the way. And then like they have a second kid and the next time you see them, they just look like they're fleeing a war torn country. Like they're off.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Rosebud Baker]

It does. It takes over your life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I feel. I mean, my parents had exact same thing happen where it was like they wanted two kids and they had me first and then they had twins after me. And if they had the twins first, there's no other kid.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so they just got. And they were poor as fuck. Like, there was not. Like there was no yo. Okay, well, fuck it. I'll hit the road a little more. There's no. There's no. I'll do clubs I hate doing. Or there was like, oh, we're. I mean, they figured it out. Whatever. I don't. I still just. Look, I would love to see footage of the way we were raised. Like, I would love to see the gruel. We were. I mean, we were. We were a big Cream of Wheat family. Yeah. Eldest. God knows what fucking kind of refugee milk sacks. What? Un powdered milk you were raised on from ages 4 to 6. Hey.

[Elders]

We were getting good bargains at Sam's Club. Buy in bulk.

[Stavros Halkias]

But the Albate. The Albania, Greece. Eldest was literally. He spent a year in a Greek monastery like his parents were. They were legitimate refugees.

[Elders]

They got our papers in order there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. He was at a way station we visited when we were in Greece last year.

[Rosebud Baker]

Damn.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or two years ago. It was kind of wild.

[Rosebud Baker]

You walk in, the memories come flooding back.

[Elders]

Honestly. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Elders]

It's like I said this. It felt like I found something I never knew I lost.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was crazy. Damn, that's beautiful.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's poetic, those words echoing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Elders]

I mean, my first memories from life are there. It was cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is crazy.

[Elders]

It was crazy. We, like, found the nun that, like, was teaching me and my sister how to, like, speak Greek.

[Stavros Halkias]

She was, like, not religious at all. Right. Right. Sometimes you meet a religious person. Yeah. Yeah. She was huge. This. No, there was, like, a energy vibrating off this woman.

[Rosebud Baker]

Really?

[Stavros Halkias]

Where I was like. I don't think, like, exactly. Whatever exact Bible she thinks is real is real, but she is tapped into something that. Because I do think there's, like, a layer of. We don't understand, like a consciousness and energy, whatever, like, that people have sort of sort, like, religion. I think sometimes people tap into that and they think it's like the Bible that was written 4,000 years ago or whatever scripture they believe.

[Rosebud Baker]

I think there's like, a spirituality thing that if you get into it, like, you can feel it from people.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then I think people use the religions they understand as a conduit to get closer to it.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or like, at least some people who have these. Who are connected in that way.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, I don't even think they're that different from, like, a motherfucker that, like, is a fortune teller or something. Like, I think they're kind of. All those people have, like, some kind of. I think there are people who are sort of just more mystically kind of inclined. In a weird way, this woman was like, that. Dude. She had, like, a. Like, I. For, like, three hours driving away, was like, is God real? I was like, just, like, being around this lady just like her or folk her, like zero. It was like the way that, like.

[Rosebud Baker]

I feel like it's the way people make eye contact.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's like if you meet somebody who's like super spiritual, they can make eye contact and they will not break.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Rosebud Baker]

And they're not even.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're not hiding anything. Yeah. They're fully like they've given their life to something. They're so. They're present in a way that's like unnerving. That's like, that's like. You're like, whoa, I'm glad they're not evil.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like if they. If someone was like this in the, like so in control and evil, it.

[Rosebud Baker]

Would be staring into my soul like this and evil.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you feel like they know so much about you and just like they can just size you up sober.

[Rosebud Baker]

And I like went into like the program and. And I would meet people who'd been sober for a long time. I remember being so freaked out by the way that they would like stare.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Into my soul.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Cuz I was like, oh, they know everything I've done so bad.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, yeah. Somebody like that who's been. Who's now on the other side of it. But was you at a certain point.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That. That is like an understanding they to. It's like you looking at a little kid.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like you looking at like a. Like when your kid is like a teenager and she's like hiding.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Drugs or booze or whatever. You're like, oh, I know what you're doing. Yeah. I'm so far ahead of you. Like, this is crazy. Like, they were. You were like unnerved. But they were so. They probably looked at you like a little kid. Probably.

[Rosebud Baker]

There was like nothing but compassion in their eyes. And I was like, she fucking hates me. Self hating.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Absolutely.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. That's cool though.

[Stavros Halkias]

But no, that was, that was, that was definitely wild. But anyway. Yeah, that was, that was the bomb that was dropped on my parents was like an extra kid.

[Rosebud Baker]

But I can't believe you were able to tie it back to that. I had no idea. I had no idea.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally here. Hosting baby.

[Rosebud Baker]

Look at you.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is what happens when you by accident spend a decade of your life podcasting. Yeah. Like hours a day.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. You're able to make those connections.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

I would just. I would have sat here, we would.

[Stavros Halkias]

Have gone on sobriety for a while.

[Rosebud Baker]

Two minutes of silence. I would have been like, what was it?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. Well, just. And my other thing. And this is total, like, I don't have kids privilege. This is like when somebody tells you. Somebody tells you how. It's like, it's classic. Like, when a. How the scientific Republicans. The. The panels are for women's health are all, like, the oldest men you've ever seen in your life. This is totally, like, I don't have kids. I don't know if I'll ever have kids, but I'm always like, you can't have an only child. Like, I have that. Only children are weird. You can't be bringing more into the world.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's my. Like, I tell you how you should live your life.

[Rosebud Baker]

I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Strong belief.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I always feel like an asshole doing it. But is there a worry that you will have an only child? That's kind of weird.

[Rosebud Baker]

Not really.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Well, like, if it's not a worry.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'll put it that way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. Sure.

[Rosebud Baker]

Could she end up weird? Absolutely.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Will she probably end up weird because she's half you and Andy?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

To begin with, she's gon.

[Rosebud Baker]

She's absolutely gonna be a weirdo. But, like, I don't really worry about it because I feel like in New York, there's nothing for kids to do in their homes. So every kid has communal. They're all, like, in, like, an activity every day. And so the people that they spend their time with are like their peers.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Rosebud Baker]

So the way that I kind of rationalize it to myself, which is probably what I'm doing, is just go like, ah. She's gonna be, like, out of the house most of the time.

[Stavros Halkias]

So the way. Like, what you say when you get a shitty apartment.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, I mean, I don't need a.

[Rosebud Baker]

What am I gonna lay my head here?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm gonna be out and about all the time. I don't need a window. She doesn't. She doesn't need to be socialized in her home. She'll get socialized in the subway.

[Rosebud Baker]

I think she's also like. I just watch her and I'm like, oh, she's. She's good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like, she is so social. And so she has, like, five best friends. That's so cute that she'll, like, come home and she's like, this is my best friend. This is my best friend. She shows up places. Everybody's like. Like, they. They. She's like a party animal. So I'm not really, like, that concerned.

[Stavros Halkias]

How is she now?

[Rosebud Baker]

She's almost two.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Rosebud Baker]

Wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Rosebud Baker]

So funny. She was like, singing Michael Jackson this morning, and I didn't even know where she heard it. Yeah, she was in the kitchen. She was like. Like, I wanna rock with you. What the.

[Stavros Halkias]

So this is right when she starts forming, like, proto sentences, right?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, they're not. It's still cute because it's like the. When you see a baby kind of have like a. A subject and a verb, in a sense, it's like. It's not just commands, but they still look a bit like babies.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a really cute zone to be.

[Rosebud Baker]

She's still kind of bald. Like, I'm like, I don't know when her hair is coming, but she's doing full sentences. And I'm like, gotta change. We're gonna buy a wig.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is she thin up top?

[Rosebud Baker]

Does she have got, like, curls on the sides? But it's just like. It's so short that if she's not wearing a dress, everyone thinks she's a boy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting, interesting, interesting. That. Yeah. I mean, b. The baby growth curve is so funny because sometimes, like, I have a friend whose kid, like, went from being an infant to just like a little guy.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, fully hair parted to the side.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Kind of a. Kind of cheekbones, kind of like a jawline. I'm like, was this baby more masculine than I am? And it was like, overnight. It was. It's crazy.

[Rosebud Baker]

Hair parted to the side on a baby always makes me laugh.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it worked. Like, it's not, like, fake. Yeah. It's like, oh, yeah, he has to get his hair out of his eyes. Like, it's. It's really funny.

[Rosebud Baker]

God, that's.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know. When they dress him up like a little gentleman.

[Rosebud Baker]

I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is cute.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's. I'm like. It's insane. Like, there is. Part of me is like, now that she's talking and walking and it's funny and stuff. I'm like, oh, maybe I should have another. But I'm like, there's no way, like, me and Andy, one of us would have to quit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

There's no. You know what I mean? And we're not doing that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Rosebud Baker]

We will fight each other.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Rosebud Baker]

The death.

[Stavros Halkias]

The one who does quit will always resent the other. Exactly.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right now, even now, it's like, if he. It's so funny how we race to fill our calendars before the other one can.

[Stavros Halkias]

Adversarial booking with your. With your spouse. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

We'll like, pop. He' pop it in the calendar. Like, I'll Be like, you know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

You should have a weekend draft. You should do it, like, you know, you start every six months. You guys sit down. You're like, I want April 18th through the 21st.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, we should do that, but we won't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you'll just continue to.

[Rosebud Baker]

Just keep doing it slowly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Rack up the microaggressions against each other until they're full aggression.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes, exactly. That's how you keep.

[Stavros Halkias]

You need to get it out. That's how you keep. Yeah, that clears it out.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. You know, you go, I don't even want to talk about this. Should we just. Like, what should happen?

[Stavros Halkias]

That is. That is hilarious.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we're. I mean, it is like. It's funny to think of every. Like, life right now is a very baby in my life. I feel like elders. You were kind of there because you're. You know, your sister had kids earlier. But it is funny to just see when you move to New York, you're trying to be like, oh, I want to be in entertainment, whatever. You're like, oh, my life's different. It's not different. It's just like, it takes us 10 years later than everybody knows, because now I'm just like, oh. I'm like, oh, this is what. Like, I was, like, making fun of my friends at home when they were, like, 26, and it's like, oh, no, now I'm the same way. But I'm. It's pathetic. I'm 36. It's pathetic for me to be like, oh, babies. It's like, I'm a. I should have. You. We should have. Like, we should be talking about our kids going, like, which middle schools they're going to right now. It's like. Like the. The classic thing when you look up what age the Simpsons were.

[Rosebud Baker]

I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, they're all younger than us. Like. Like. And their kids are nine or whatever. I know Stanzas in his 20s when Steinfeld starts, right? It's like, crazy.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Well, they all looked 40.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

To me, like, when I watched Seinfeld. Now I'm like, they say, but they're not. They're all way younger than us.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

But it is. I mean, I think it makes sense to wait. I don't think. I don't think we were totally wrong to make fun of them for having kids at 26. I mean, we were.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're gonna be so much happier in their old age.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, 100, you know? 100.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Like, yeah. I'm still, here's how pathetic I am. I'm still at like mentally 20 where I'm like, should I have kids? Like, what, I'm gonna die might not be an option. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like, if I do, it's gon be.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like, you're playing hard to get with like sperm. That's not really doing it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. The chemicals, the artificial sweeteners that I've like.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, exposed my genetic code to. I can't even think about it.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's so funny to watch like everyone that I know like running into. I mean, it's not funny because I went through it myself, but like watching them run into like fertility issues when we've been like just running from the possibility of getting pregnant.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh yeah. So fast.

[Rosebud Baker]

And then we're like, wait, what?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I want it now.

[Rosebud Baker]

I thought we had try really, really hard not to. That's what I was taught.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You know, doctor's like, those days are over, sweetheart. Yeah, that is. Yeah. And then, and then like how much old jizz is a problem for kids? Like the, all this like autism stuff is like there's more autistic kids. Cuz like old nut is being used like that. That seems to be the most like scientific and it makes sense. It's like.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because it's like old guys are having kids with younger. That's not the, the limiting factor is not the age of the woman here. Right. It's like we live in a society where it's like Al Pacino just fucking nutted in some 29 year old. Like it's not. You'll be able to find women of age. Whatever.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's so clearly like all like and that. So I don't know. Should I, should I freeze a nice batch? Should I, should I have some Omega 3? Should I eat a lot of salmon for a week?

[Rosebud Baker]

Dude, you should absolutely freeze it.

[Stavros Halkias]

How do you get the healthiest jizz? Have you been. Did you look at. Are you looking into this eldest? Are you.

[Rosebud Baker]

Because you're. Yeah, you're like asking else. It's like he's your doctor, I think.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because he, because he at least is like getting married, I think, you know.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like he's probably gonna think about it. Yeah.

[Elders]

We're gonna have kids where, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Elders]

There'll be a little baby ld here someday.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, God figure how stupid that baby will be. Really March. How bumbling a child that'll be where you just have natural baby bumbling plus your DNA just some 4, 2, 3 year old be talking humongous. Have you gotten your. Are you worried about your nuts?

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cuz you had that big gig, remember? Elders had. Elders had like some kind of ball infection and his balls swelled up.

[Rosebud Baker]

Wait, what?

[Elders]

I got epididymitis. Where one of my nuts got really big and how.

[Rosebud Baker]

How much bigger?

[Elders]

I mean, it kind of like was like the size of a lemon. At least.

[Stavros Halkias]

I've.

[Elders]

I've talked about it.

[Rosebud Baker]

Did you see it?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, I didn't see his bones, but I swallowed.

[Elders]

One of the great regrets of my life is not taking a picture.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it kind of. It kind of like we should have gone to. We should have gotten professional. We should have gotten Salic used to photograph it.

[Rosebud Baker]

You should have gone to JCPenney.

[Elders]

Yeah, that's my kid, actually. But yeah, I kind of like just enveloped my dick. Like push my dick skin forward and like I had to like pee sitting down for a couple weeks. It was pretty.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, no. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you think it affected the health. I'm sure my shit is so. I'm sure. I'm sure my shit is. Is so sluggish. I'm sure my sperm is like.

[Rosebud Baker]

He said that for sure.

[Elders]

I'm sure my sperm is like 4% microplastics, 3% Ben and Jerry.

[Rosebud Baker]

I don't think that's the worst thing. I think we're all going to be underwater and the kids will float.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? That is. Yeah. It is funny that. That everyone was worried about like cell phones and it's like clearly are like analog to lead. Lead poisoning from the Roman everyone talks about. They all had lead poisons. Like. Like we have so much plastic. That's so clearly what's going to take.

[Rosebud Baker]

Down this with my phone on my chest.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know what I mean? I'm like. It's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

What I do to myself.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know. I wonder what. Yeah. We should do a little research and. And see how you get healthy. We should. We should. This is. This is classic podcast stunt stuff. We should get our jizz tested and read the results on air.

[Rosebud Baker]

That really is like classic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who's got better Jizz? Like shock jock stuff.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's almost like. Like 2016 era.

[Stavros Halkias]

We should do it for the Patreon.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Show your reason.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah, I know. We missed the. We missed the boat on having porn. That was a big, like morning radio.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Into early podcasting was having porn stars on. And then it got. When it was radio, it was like, okay, there's a line. It got strange where they were just like, oh, well, it's podcasting. I guess she'll just suck our dicks. And it's like, all right, man, we don't need to fucking. We don't need to fucking watch this. I did Kumia, and there's, like, a fucking porn star rubbing my dick. And then she started saying some wildly racist shit. I was in a onesie. I don't remember what it was. Me and Mullen went on Kumia so early. And then. And then there's just, like, a weird porn star. And then it was like, whatever. And then she just starts saying some out of pocket race.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

We were like, all right, man, we gotta get the out of here.

[Rosebud Baker]

While rubbing your dicks will get them off.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think, like, she. First of all, it was not planned. I think her muscle memory kicked in and started just. I was. She just started, like, kind of rubbing my dick. And then I think she was like, oh, I don't have to do. I'm not. I'm just gonna pop. Yeah. This is so funny. This is somebody who's a true professional, right? And. And the vibe was ruined because I think I don't remember what happened, but Mullen started, like, debating her, and she was saying some hysterically racist shit. I don't even remember what it was, but it was like, all right, man. And then. But at the time, I was like, wow, I made it. You know, it's like I just moved. I'm like, I'm with a guy from Opie and Anthony with a racist porn star. Shit's going good. It was like week three of cometown. Like, we had no idea what was going on, but that was, like, one of the pinnacles of my career.

[Rosebud Baker]

All right, well, there's no stopping us now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was when, like, Kumi's racism was just. I mean, it was. He was still racist, but he wasn't, like, talking about, you know, put black people in zoos or whatever the fuck that, like, the shit that got him, like, when he was really going next level with it. But yeah, at the time, it was like. I was like, nice.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

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[Rosebud Baker]

Damn.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I was bad at it. I mean, I had not done any. I wasn't the professional, you see.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's a shame that everything's hard after that. It's just a shame that you. That was the best it ever got.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was the pinnacle. I never got better. But now, at least. Now at least I'm a pro. So anyway, how healthy do you think your jizz is? Eldest. Ten years later, I've become way better at it. Just ignoring our guest to talk about our jizz for ten minutes.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, but seriously, how is your day? We want to know.

[Stavros Halkias]

N. It's all right, man. I do.

[Rosebud Baker]

I can tell you that. I think not drinking and not smoking is like, one of the first things. Yeah, they go, don't drink and don't smoke.

[Stavros Halkias]

I actually have, although I will say this last European trip, boy, have I wanted to smoke cigarettes more than I have since I was like 20.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, I, you know, know you're on vacation, you treat yourself to a couple cigs and like I have since I've been back. Like, I didn't. But I really almost bought a pack of cigarettes, which I haven't done in, like.

[Rosebud Baker]

Well, I don't know why this is. I know this isn't true, but it doesn't feel like European cigarettes can Kill you. Like, they know they have the scary on it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like, this is such a bluff. Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Look how long these people are living.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is really true. I wonder what the science behind their cancer rates are.

[Caller]

Are.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's probably like, smoking's bad for you, but it's like, compared to everything else we do here.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, come on, it's got to be the food for sure.

[Rosebud Baker]

I. I remember going there for, like, like a month while I was pregnant and not gaining any weight, and all I did was eat. Like I was in Italy eating cheese.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

And I didn't gain any weight. It was the only time on pregnancy I hadn't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Rosebud Baker]

I was like, what the.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's crazy. I mean, literally the same thing happened where the first. The week I got back, I kind of maintained and I was, like, not going fully crazy. I was like, all right, let's not overdo it. And I was walking a lot. Whatever. I got back here, dude. And I just gained like five pounds because I was just like. I still had vacation mindset.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it was with American snack foods. And it was like, I still had the, like, you know, a little pastry with breakfast.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, pastry with breakfast. One of the best vacation moves.

[Rosebud Baker]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just a coffee.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's mostly a cigarette. It doesn't feel complete, complete.

[Stavros Halkias]

I wanted a cigarette, so. And then also part of me is like, probably what helped me not eat sometimes was smoke a couple cigs and then, you know, for sure. And then. And so I don't know. But I got very. I don't know why. Again. I got back from Europe and I got, like, addicted to Mac and cheese for like five days. Like five days in a row.

[Rosebud Baker]

I bet all the. Whatever the chemicals and that's in our food. I bet you'd like detox and you got like, one bite of it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, probably.

[Rosebud Baker]

We gotta. We gotta up.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what's funny? That's 100. What happened? Because I got back really late.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And there was nothing in my apartment to eat except like an emergency box of Mac and cheese.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And after I had one of those bites, bro. I had.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Legit. All I had. My thing was like a freezer full of like, you know, real good chicken tenders.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And. And. And, you know, I'm. I'm like, oh, the calories aren't so bad. Whatever.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I have the. Literally that was my first meal was air fried chicken tenders and Mac and cheese. And I couldn't kick that meal me up so much more. Than, like, lamb chops and greens.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's like, a classic example of, like, the American food that's designed to, like, not to, like, turn off your hunger.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, true, true. You know, and without any fiber. Without any. No vegetables, no nothing. Like, at least there I was throwing a little salad in the mix. I was getting something going, but. But, yeah, it's hard. I'm having a very hard time kicking Mac and cheese right now. I'm having a really hard time. Dude, ice cream and Mac and cheese are just.

[Rosebud Baker]

Just try smoking crack.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you told me I could smoke a little crack and, like. And I would, like, microdose, I honestly, I would smoke crack. I'm not, like. I'm not even, like. I kind. In fact, I'm sort of curious what crack is like. Like, because I'm not gonna snort cocaine ever again. I feel like that's bad for your heart.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I think one puff a crack.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wouldn't be that bad.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm not gonna do it, probably.

[Elders]

I feel like you could, like.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm not gonna do it, probably. I mean, listen, if you came up and you offered it to me, I'm not gonna say no. No.

[Stavros Halkias]

But that's the thing. It's like, I don't really. I'm not really running.

[Rosebud Baker]

Seeking it out.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm not running in crack circles. Right. No. I'm running in cocaine circles, but I'm not running in crack circles. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

You sort of have to come. Come upon it. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now, could. There. I could see, especially off the heels of the Hunter Biden interview, which, you know, was a month, months ago at this point. But I will say, he did come off pretty cool. Like, he. I always was like, hunter's cool because I thought he was just a guy who, you know, did drugs and fucked, like, sex workers, which to me is, like, pretty. If you're gonna be a Nepo, baby.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Do that with it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do it that way.

[Rosebud Baker]

Do it that way.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're not taking jobs from anyone. You're using your. Your family's wealth to have a good time.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're putting money back in certain people's pockets. That's great. But then I was like, oh, this guy's, like, kind of a. He's a smart cool. Like, I would chill with Hunter Biden.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

With. I didn't. He was, like, much cooler than I thought he would, you know, whatever. Because, you know, well, you can't be.

[Rosebud Baker]

A crackhead and be successful at it for years, you know, without, I think, a good amount of money and a Shitload of charisma.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Because you can't. You got to be able to lie to people.

[Stavros Halkias]

For sure. For sure. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. It does train you. Being an addict does train you to have like. If you stop lying and you just put that into just being a likable, nice person.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a lot of. That's a lot of like energy you're not using for nefarious purposes. Yeah. You could just be like a good guy.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I could see a sort of artisanal rebrand of crack. Yeah, I really could see that.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where it's like, you know, just like a cocaine sort of like a way to do cocaine in a. More just like a cocaine rebrand.

[Rosebud Baker]

Change the pipe.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because it used to be. I mean, the pipe's tough.

[Rosebud Baker]

The pipe.

[Stavros Halkias]

The metal little pipe is tough.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You gotta make it acrylic. Although I guess is that. Does it have to be metal to hit those? I don't think glass.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, they're cracks. They're glass. But yeah. Because you can burn. That's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, true.

[Rosebud Baker]

Part of the thing is that you have to take your lips off it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

So you don't burn your.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's like the only time they have to like stop.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, I'm gonna burn.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. If you fig. If you figured that out.

[Rosebud Baker]

You figured that out.

[Stavros Halkias]

We've got to have some kind of space age polymer material. They can smoke and it looks cool.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you just kind of have it in like a uniform cube.

[Rosebud Baker]

We need to get apple on this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like a sugar cube. Yeah, no, I'm serious.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And if you put. It's baking soda. If you put like a little bit of like, I don't know, cinnamon. No, no, not cinnamon, but like aromatics. Like if you did like essential oils in your crack or something like that.

[Elders]

Right.

[Rosebud Baker]

So it doesn't smell like burnt tires.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

They were basically talking like, like crack or cocaine vapes, which, you know, you see about people doing like that. Like.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, you can do it with this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, totally.

[Elders]

Just get plastic, melt it into the whatever vitamin E or whatever.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Elders]

We're sucking on in those.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I don't know, I could see it.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Originally freebasing cocaine before they really formulated crack and like, you know, made it cheaper. That was a rich person thing to do. It probably feels awesome again, but I thought no freebasing.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, yeah. Freebasing is smoking cocaine.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So anyway, I remember one time stuff.

[Elders]

We like free based perks in the bowl of weed. Just crush some perks on the. On some weed in the bowl.

[Stavros Halkias]

And we watched the Tanya Harding documentary.

[Rosebud Baker]

Wait, this had to have been. How long ago was this?

[Elders]

This was 2014, maybe.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. All right.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

This is some I would have done in high school.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we. I had just moved. Or maybe I was even visiting you.

[Elders]

You're visiting.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was. He. So I hadn't even. I wasn't even living in New York yet. Eldest was in this sad basement in Bed Stuy.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where. Where it was like he was living with his friend and. But it was his. His friend's parents.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And, like, they were only charging Eldest rent.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it was like his friend got to pretend he didn't live at home, but they're like, well, Eldest has to pay. Yeah. We don't need the money, but it's kind of a principal thing. Your poor friend. Yeah. Who's trying to figure it out right now.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're gonna gouge him.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you, a rich kid, can just kind of live and pretend autonomy.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But we're not going to give you the basement. We're going to teach you how to cohabitate with the underclass. Yeah, that was. That was sort of. ELDIS was sort of like a lesson that they were teaching. They were teaching their son.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's crazy.

[Elders]

At one point, I had to put my mattress in the living room for five weeks because my, like, closet was water damaged.

[Stavros Halkias]

So they had to do what the. Oh, man.

[Elders]

And I was like, oh, well, this is great. Maybe I'll save on rent. And they were like, oh, yeah, we'll charge you half. Ren.

[Stavros Halkias]

Incredible.

[Rosebud Baker]

What the.

[Stavros Halkias]

To sleep in the living room. But it was. He was.

[Elders]

Shout out. Him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's probably a listener. Shout out to him, hey, Elders is doing fine now. But if he wasn't, you know, it.

[Rosebud Baker]

Would be your fault.

[Elders]

But, yeah, I think about. I think about that. Freebasing perks. And it's like, you know, crack sounds really bad, but I think about that. I'm like, that seems maybe even worse.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think it's worse. I think it's worse. It did feel cool. It was awesome. There's no way smoking pain pills on weed was awesome. No way.

[Rosebud Baker]

That. No way was it worse than crack.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know. Well, I guess that's true.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

I guess. You know what I'm going to call it a push. I think it's about the same.

[Elders]

I guess it was probably more pure than crack. We knew what was actually in it more than actual crack. So.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[Elders]

Maybe.

[Rosebud Baker]

What is it called? Oh, it's a speedball.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Rosebud Baker]

When you're like smoking crack and heroin at the same time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. The classic thing that kills every fat entertainer, right?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The thing that scared me even from. From the jump, I was like, I cannot.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, well, that's not an option for me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I am too fat to be doing like this. Even though when I've sort of done it by accident. When you're like the very, very low rent version, which is like, you know, Adderall and wheat if you. Or pills and like, you know any. I mean, honestly, just more Adderall. It was really the only upper. Yeah, I guess occasionally I would. Or even cocaine and weed, whatever it. That you get washed. Why people do it.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Feels awesome.

[Rosebud Baker]

Absolutely.

[Stavros Halkias]

So that was. You were. You were on that pills and what that was. That was so funny.

[Rosebud Baker]

If you're like the one guy that just can't understand the appeal and you like, finally do it, you're like, oh.

[Stavros Halkias]

This does feel good doing drugs.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, my goodness.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, this is why people died doing it, because they tried to push it to the absolute limits and failed.

[Rosebud Baker]

I could see giving up my life for this certain.

[Stavros Halkias]

You climb up Mount Everest, there's a guy who fought, who's dead on every piece peak. All right. But to get to the top, you gotta do it. You gotta try.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

I. I'm almost dishonoring the fat comedians that died by stopping their work. Now I stand on the shoulders of giants. We have to reach.

[Rosebud Baker]

We have to reach for the top.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I mean, I guess, I guess the. That sounds more. That sounds like. Because you're probably going to like a rich school where they were. You had pills. You know what I mean? Like, we had to get in high school. It was way more just we. Whatever we could find. You were ahead. You were a little ahead of the curve. I would.

[Rosebud Baker]

I would imagine every one of my friend's parents was on something.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you.

[Rosebud Baker]

You go. You go to your friend's house. This is the first thing I learned.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

As like a. A rich kid in the suburbs, you go to somebody's house, you look in their medicine cabinet. I still do it to this day. To this day, I go and I.

[Stavros Halkias]

Go, like, what do we got little now you can Google it. Back in the day, you had to like, try and remember it and then look it up later. No phones. I remember doing that in high school.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

You would just sort of be like, okay, what's that? All right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I love the idea that like you would go to your, your friend's parents house and they were people that were like, we should get the poor hooked on these.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? They were, they were like, you guys had them before the opioid epidemic, right? It was like the very beginning of it. Like lobbyists were doing it. They're like, we could destroy West Virginia.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, because it definitely, it like spread in West Virginia and then it came to the suburbs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting, interesting.

[Rosebud Baker]

And then, you know, like all of these kids were like, what does my mom have in here? And then they'd take one, they'd be like, whoa. And then we'd all do it. And then all of a sudden they're like, oh, now it's an epidemic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, right, right, right.

[Rosebud Baker]

Now we'll call it an epidemic.

[Stavros Halkias]

When a couple like the kids at your prep school died.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Then it's like, Then it's like, well, this is serious. This is a big problem.

[Rosebud Baker]

Come on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Quit fooling around.

[Stavros Halkias]

It must have been chock full of like white wine and pill moms.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who you grew up around.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

A lot of, lot of pain pills, a lot of anti. Anxiety, Viking it, whatever, you know what I mean? So you take that and then you smoke weed or you like crush it up, you put it on top of a pipe. You don't know what the you're doing. You're just like trying out. And then the next thing you know, you're like, I can't drive.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you have like a. Was there like a score? Because a really sketchy moment. Do you remember like from your youth, the one where you're like, fuck, I've taken it too far. Was there ever a moment like that?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, I was like. I mean, it wasn't like drug wise anything, but I was like on mushrooms. And I was. I had taken my dad and my sister to a fish show in like New Jersey or.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, interesting.

[Rosebud Baker]

And we drove back.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love the idea of your father. My father, who's maybe, Maybe like, you know, I'm guessing the square is like.

[Rosebud Baker]

A partner at a law firm.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like he. When like when I was a kid, he was like a granola. But then he like, interesting. He like moved to like corporate law.

[Stavros Halkias]

He did the George W. Bush kind of like prob. Black sheep of a Republican family too. I've. I'm born again. I've put it all behind me.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Kind of thing.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah. It was just like Too many kids. Like, he didn't have an option. He had to be Republican.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

I gotta get. I gotta make money.

[Stavros Halkias]

He could have lived. Not where you. He could have. He could have maybe gone to a, you know, the, A shittier suburb than where you were.

[Rosebud Baker]

For sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

But he was like, I'm not doing that.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, I do love that.

[Rosebud Baker]

Even when brought that up to him, he'd be like, why?

[Stavros Halkias]

Why? I don't want to be. I grew up rich. I'm not, you know, I'm just gonna like, like completely go against the morals I pretended to have in my 20s and just stay rich.

[Rosebud Baker]

The.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was cosplaying. I was trying to make my dad mad.

[Rosebud Baker]

I had to hitchhike.

[Stavros Halkias]

My dad waited me out. He was right. Yes, I'm coming. Groveling back.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, I got to do what I got to do.

[Stavros Halkias]

I do love that when you meet like when you do meet somebody who's just like the, the percentage of someone who grew up around power that actually when you're like, they're cool in their 20s, no one ever sticks to it. No, no one. They all go back. They all. It's always like they always. Yet it's. They're. They will never. It's so hard to get somebody who grew up with like that kind of access to power and privilege, whatever, to actually be a class trader. Really hard to do.

[Rosebud Baker]

I do think actually that it's going to happen more. We're going to see it happen more and more because of just like wealth inequality. Because people like even in our generation where it's like, if you grew up with money, like I grew up with money, but that's going to end with me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right? Right.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like it's not getting passed down to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, you're at least a couple generations. Right. Removed. You know what I mean? I'm talking about like the, the like kids of the like.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But, but you're right though. Even at the absolute top, the middle is contracting so much, so much that even the people that are pretty, like really rich adjacent, they're not gonna have, They're. No, it's, it's.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's like say bye bye. It's crumbling while you can because it's. They're coming for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like totally.

[Rosebud Baker]

The millionaires even are like, you know, it's like you got the billionaire class and then you've got the middle class with. They're just squeezing the. Out of them 100%. And the millionaires are, they're like, they're not going to come for us.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, it's like, oh honey, better start podcasting. That's the only industry that's safe coming for you. Pick up a Zen caster, baby.

[Rosebud Baker]

You're dead. You're next.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's so hilarious. The just podcasting is the only growth industry in America. How the did this happen? I love just coming from the. Just the mud and then going this way and then just four generation lawyers meeting them here I'm right here right now, I'm seeing coming down and it's so funny. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's like. And it's. I mean I don't think it's going to. I think we're right now just generally speaking because. Sorry to be serious.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, please.

[Rosebud Baker]

But like you see all these people going like oh, the left and the right, they're both crazy. It's like this is all such a distraction from the fact that we're all going to be fucking homeless.

[Stavros Halkias]

100%.

[Rosebud Baker]

We are all going to be fucking homeless.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's. It's so clear. I mean this is the Republican playbook of like socially starting from segregation literally. I mean that's what turned the Republican Party is when they were like low. Let's go all in all on like segregation and take some of these southern Democrats and that's how the, everything realigned to. Then it became okay, segregation to just generally like racism.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

To then they, they flipped that to I mean I guess Reagan sort of like that was just like more of an economic thing where they were just like anti labor. But Karl Rove, I mean George Bush's thing was always like gay people are coming. Like we, we there was like we.

[Rosebud Baker]

Got to make sure coming.

[Stavros Halkias]

The gays are trying to get married. We have to. To put. We have to put gay marriage initiatives on the ballot so that these people that don't like because to them George Bush is like too moderate. Hilariously. They were like they weren't happy to vote for him, but they're like if we put gay marriage on the thing, they'll come to vote against that. And then since they're. They're there, they'll vote for the Republican. Right. And they. We're seeing it now with all this trans. I mean we said it on a. On another episode recently but like like the Republican Party has become like hack comedians where it's like if you don't have a punchline, you go for trans or autism.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like that's the two big ones. And the trans is like it's Crazy how obsessed they are with it. But it's their. It is, it has become like this. The. They're just vilifying these people in a way that doesn't make any sense.

[Rosebud Baker]

I don't think anyone is that concerned with it. I don't think anyone is like, they are. That I don't think. And I was talking about it in Texas like last, last week, and one person, there was like one couple that came up to me afterwards and I was like, yeah, I don't think anybody's like thinking about everyone's genitals.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

And they, both of them were like Republicans. They were like, we are, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, we're weird.

[Rosebud Baker]

We're thinking about it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

I was like, oh, okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ah, the autumn chill in the air, elders. You feel that the leaves are turning. It's back to school. You know, we're thinking about going to grad school. Cool. It's a time of new beginnings. We're entering a new phase. And with that, our diets must enter a new phase. Although for me, factor meals that ain't new, brother. I'm currently in a group chat with three other fat adult men. You're not in it, actually. You don't get to be in. It's for fat actors only.

[Elders]

Can I get in there?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, you can't go. You can't be in the fat house. Group chat. And honestly, many of my plus size friends trying to lose weight. It's not just me, because factor, look, they send me the meals, I'd be a customer anyway, but it helps to get their delicious meals for free, you know? You know, I love Asian food, you know, it's my favorite genre. They got all kinds of, they got, you know, Chinese inspired, Thai inspired. Really good stuff. They got the Mediterranean diet option. Good for GLP1, you know, meals specifically for that. They're really speaking my language. It's like they're, they're, it's like they're making a meal delivery service just for me. We in the fat fat man group chat that you are not a part of. Eldis all are going goo goo for factor meals. Everybody's having success with it because we're busy. We're on the go, guys. Okay? They got a lot of different options. Everybody's loving it. And I think you, you don't have to just be a plus sized gentleman trying to get right, trying to get healthy to enjoy factor meals. You could just be busy, you know, there's less sunlight. You don't want to spend your time cooking. Get these Ready these. These beautifully prepared, delicious, delicious flavors sent right to your door. No matter where. No matter. You could be fat, you could be thin. You. I love cooking. I still sometimes like a delicious meal already prepped for me. I pop it in the microwave. I'm eating like a fucking king in the matter of moments. So what I want you to do is eat [e-mail] Stavi 50 off and use code Stavi 50 off to get. You're never going to believe this. 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for a year. That's code [e-mail] for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for a year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with factor offer only. Valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Stabby 50 off. Kind of sounds like Stavi jerk me off, don't you think? That's an easy mnemonic device to remember the code, folks.

[Elders]

What was that code again?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, I think it was stopping jerking me off. Oh, stopping 50 off. But you're right. The ultimately, the culture war stuff is the. The oldest, simplest thing you've ever seen in your life. And even now, they're so desperate that they're like martyring a guy who, whatever, the guy shouldn't have been killed. But it's like you were watching Charlie Kirk like that. And yeah, you weren't coming home from a hard day's work. Yeah, microwaving some. You weren't eating leftovers and firing on Turning Point usa. You weren't watching that. You just weren't. You didn't care that much.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm like, you just found out who he is and now it's getting a Wrestlemania.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, the pyrotechnics at the funeral was crazy. He's nuts. His wife coming out like Batista coming out, coming out like Triple H. It's like, what the. I know.

[Rosebud Baker]

Just groping Trump.

[Stavros Halkias]

And by the way, Eldis, you know, it's come to my attention that one of my employees has been posting. Has been put. Has been. Been dis You. You're get ready for a disciplinary hearing here at Stabby Baby Enterprises. Why don't you pull up the disgusting tweet that you. That you posted because I've seen a lot of people are calling for you to be. For you to face Jimmy Kimmel style. Jimmy Kimmel style justice.

[Elders]

When I put this up, I knew I'd run into some shit with my employer, but I was scared of the ramifications.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, let's show it up. Let's show it to guest. Elders posted Trump and he said, I got your with me. And you know what, Elders?

[Rosebud Baker]

That's good.

[Stavros Halkias]

I will not stand for my employee being so crass and disgusting.

[Elders]

Maga fucks up my career.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're suspended, Elvis. Fuck.

[Elders]

First Second Amendment. No, first.

[Stavros Halkias]

You idiot.

[Rosebud Baker]

Hey, this is a 1720.

[Stavros Halkias]

But anyway, yes. The. The culture war stuff is so pathetic and so transparent.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

And. And. And it's. It's gotten crazier because of how, like, blatantly they have just been robbing people.

[Rosebud Baker]

Can I be honest with you? It's kind of annoying me on a comedic, like, on a comedy level.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Rosebud Baker]

In a way that, like, is making me feel like. Like, it feels like my husband got fat or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

How dare you?

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm. You know what I'm saying?

[Stavros Halkias]

You're also. You're also suspended.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm just like. I just feel like comedy itself is like. I'm like, how do we let ourselves go? Like this.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is. No, believe me. You think I want to talk publicly about politics?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I hate it. I hate having to say, like, obviously I have my own politics, and I.

[Rosebud Baker]

Feel very strongly sane about it.

[Stavros Halkias]

But that's what I mean. Mean is like, it's gotten so annoying that, like, you sort of have to say something because especially. Especially if we're talking about free speech. Right. The one thing comedians should kind of weigh in on is freedom of speech. And for anyone that was supporting Trump on a free speech thing, right, let's throw everything else out. Right? Let's. Let's find, like, let's agree to disagree on the tear. On ruining the economy of me.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Even on. I mean. I mean, I won't say, like, ICE falls under freedom of speech because we're talking about masked. Masked agents. Like, who. We're talking about a secret police just rounding people up. It's no process, truly. Yeah. No due process.

[Rosebud Baker]

Ripping their children out of their due.

[Stavros Halkias]

Process is such an important part of, like, having the freedom of speech. Be able to. To defend yourself. And, like, look, the Jimmy Kimmel stuff was obviously. But scarier than that is the fact that they have stopped. You're not allowed to. To wait. What do you mean?

[Rosebud Baker]

The Jimmy Kimmel stuff was bullshit, though.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, the fcc, like. Like threatening a private company and leaning on them to be like, yes, this will fuck up your business. We, the government, can up your pockets.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you don't do what we. Like, that's crazy.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

But crazier than that is the Fact that, like, what's happening with like, campaign campus, like, when we're talking about the ability to protest anything, but specifically Gaza and Israel. And it's like the fact that they are completely silencing students. They're calling them anti Semites. They're. They're getting these kids, like, arrested. Mahmoud Khalil, deporting the guy because he. Because he is expressing his freedom of speech in a country where that's the whole point. Right. That's the scare. That's way more important than fudgeing Jimmy Kimmel. No disrespect.

[Rosebud Baker]

It also comes down to the fact that, like, if you. If you really look at it, even down to the fcc. Shit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

If you're a billionaire. Right. And there's two ways that this could go. It's like further right or tax the rich.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Who the fuck are you going to find?

[Stavros Halkias]

I know this idea that, like, they do a great job of messaging because a lot of people in the last, like, I remember going on Theo's podcast and saying that the far right is always backed by big business and moneyed interest. And they have. They. People think, like, that's not true. The Democrats are the party of big business. And it's like, to a certain extent this is the Democrats fault because they have become a centrist corporate party that does not care about the working class. And so they're not that indistinguishable from Republicans. Even though historically, historically, obviously, the far. I mean, it's like, read a history book. The far right is always connected to money.

[Rosebud Baker]

If you look at how bad it's gotten since the beginning of Citizens United.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, that's the craziest thing that's ever happened.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's like it's just spiraled. Completely out of control.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And. And if like corporations and businesses have the. They have freedom of speech, but a college kid who's saying, saying like, I don't think all my tax dollars should go towards a genocide. They don't have freedom of speech. We're so, so. And it's like, listen, it. Slurs are not worth it. This is the saddest part. They have proven the dork. The dorks, the tattletale dorks. Right? Yeah. I hate to admit it, but it's like everyone that was mad at come down. I'd rather live in their world than our world. Like, I would rather live live librarian ass saying. Telling me I can't say a joke even. Even if it's a joke. I would so much rather have that. Because by the way, we were fine. We were like, ultimately it was a little annoying. Maybe it was a little hard to get on tv, but that led us to the Internet, which is the place where you actually build a career. But it's like, I'd rather take an annoying. You know, she. They telling me, I can't say. You can't say. Say that's so we need to sacrifice. Needs to die on the cross like Christ to bring. To bring WOKE back.

[Rosebud Baker]

Just put the word up there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Put it up there. Let it get crucified. We need to bring WOKE back after three days and we need to stop having masked agents. Like, it's not that good of a. It's like, it's a.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's. No. Also, you can't live like this.

[Stavros Halkias]

You idiots don't get that the only reason something is fun to say is. Is because it's not allowed. Yeah, like, that's the whole point, dude. That's why it's fun. You dumb. You can't just. Anyway, whatever.

[Rosebud Baker]

They've basically ruined things for themselves and everyone else. And it's like I, I mean, I just watch it and I go, it's embarrassing. Like, I know when I watch like comics doing it, I'm like, are you that scared to be funny in a different way? You like, have to reach a little further.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just try and be funny.

[Rosebud Baker]

Something funny. You know what I mean? Like, are you leaning that hard on the creative?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, get creative and listen.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's somebody I listen. Whenever I'm bombing, I tell a yeah, sure, sure, sure.

[Elders]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm just like, let me get these people back.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course. Listen, what happens in those rooms when you're bombing? What happens on a. The Saturday late show in a, in a 400 seat improv for some reason?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's half sold.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. That's between you and God then.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the beauty of live performance, by the way. Yeah, that's also why. That's why, like, you can't ultimately touch stand up. Because it's like it actually happens in the fucking room.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't worry about the Internet. Don't worry about getting famous. Try and be a funny fucking person. But anyway, we're. It's. It is really fucking pathetic. But you know, unfortunately, they've made, they have made me a crusader for woke. Bring WOKE back. Bring it back. Tattle on me. Let me lose. You know what I mean? Like, fucking. It was. If I, if I get to. If my career goes well enough that I get to be In a cartoon. Let an annoying mom who doesn't. Hasn't had sex in 20 years. Say, have you seen what he said 30 years, you know, 15 years ago. He can't be a fat squirrel in a Pixar movie. Fine. Fine. If that's what it takes. If that's what it takes to, like, demolish alligator Alcatraz. Great.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't need to be. I don't need to be a wood. A fat woodchuck in a Dreamworks movie because I was on Bumped down when I was 20. When I was 26. I don't know. I think my cheeks. I think I would do really well at that.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, you'd be a cutie.

[Stavros Halkias]

Little.

[Rosebud Baker]

A little cutie.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Thank you. You see it?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

We should. We. Let's. Let's plug here at the midway point. We're gonna do some calls, obviously. What do you have to plug here, Rosie?

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, I'm on tour.

[Stavros Halkias]

On tour.

[Rosebud Baker]

I am on tour right now. All the tickets are rosebudbaker.com and. And also check out my Netflix special, the Motherlode.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, Great special. Watch it on Netflix and go see. Go see Rosebud on tour. She's got a. She's got a beautiful baby girl who's indistinguishable, who right now is non binary until her curls come in.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, well, all babies are.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that is true. If you want to understand what being non binary is, look at a baby. Yeah. Yeah. And then the people that don't grow out of that, that's who they are.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good. That's a good way to look at it. You're like, oh, you should just be wearing overalls, like a little minion. Yeah. All right, Elis, what do we got here, buddy?

[Caller]

Hi, Savi. Hi, Elvis. I assume Death. So my situation is interesting. It's more of a how do I go about changing someone's behavior? Sort of thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Rosebud Baker]

Can you give some more?

[Caller]

So I've been dating this guy for about a year, and, you know, great relationship, awesome sex especially, you know, eats real good. But so the question I have. So my partner is neurodivergent, not so much in the socially awkward way, but more in the way that they have a lot of physical skins. So, you know, sort of like licking the lips or biting on pens or things like that. But one of the things he does is that he offers, often will put his hand, like, down his pants, like, underneath the underwear and, like, you know, kind of feel around and then bring the hand back up and then give that a big old whiff.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, no. Whoa.

[Caller]

Just a deep whiff. Like, not even really subtle, Like. And this happens a lot, mostly when we're hanging out, like, either, you know, on the couch or in bed or whatever. Just hanging, like, you know, taking it easy. But it's happened a few times when we've been in public and. For real, what the sniff or something like that. But, you know, I don't want people to get the wrong idea. And also, it's a little gross, to be honest.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So what do you mean a little gross?

[Caller]

Adjusting themselves in public or whatever. But in this institution, since it's just so blatant. And I've called him, I don't know, like, with the house before and been like, oh, hey, do you need a washcloth? Or, like, you know, washcloth.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're gonna give him a sponge bath on the couch? Yeah, the. Are you talking. Anyway, finish it. Sorry.

[Caller]

But, you know, he's like, oh, I'm sorry. Like, you know, but I think he's. It's just so unconscious. I don't think it's anything that he's doing, like, purposefully. But do you have any advice for kind of. Of shifting someone's behavior when they're kind of doing something that, you know, doesn't look too good in public? Like, I don't know, with, like, dog training or, like, you know, clicker training. But what ideas do you have for.

[Stavros Halkias]

Someone like me who has a great.

[Caller]

Partner, but they do some sort of annoying or odd behavior that could be, you know, perceived as being sort of inappropriate, Insane.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Yeah. This is. Can I just say, this is what. This is what women do when someone eats so good.

[Stavros Halkias]

True, true. I guess that's true. I mean, if I'm thinking about going.

[Rosebud Baker]

She's just going, like, I can change this. It's fine. Still, eat my.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? Sniffs is nuts. And that is true. And by the way, that is the power of, like, getting great head for sure. Sure.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Some of the. The most. The most I've put up with is somebody who's awesome at.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that is an important lesson, ultimately.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But also, what the Is this lady talking about? She's also saying he's neurodivergent. It's like, there's no way. This is his, like, specific tick.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, maybe if he had some kind of physical Tourette, like, I guess I have. If he has some kind of Tourette's thing where it's like, you have to do something Up. Yeah, but this isn't not. What are you talking about? Your boyfriend smells his dick.

[Rosebud Baker]

If he had in public, if he had Tourette's you would know, right? Like she wouldn't just say Neurod Divergent.

[Stavros Halkias]

Also she's her. Her. Her examples of stims are like she would say Tourette chewing on a pen cap or fit like you're talking about a fidgety guy.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Which like look, she's like.

[Rosebud Baker]

But then there's this one tick.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. You have completely over intellectualized this. This your boyfriend smell. Your boyfriend goes Al Bundy mode plus smell. Like smelling your nuts is crazy.

[Rosebud Baker]

What you need to do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Taking a whiff of your nuts in front of another person.

[Rosebud Baker]

You got to embarrass shamelessly. You got to embarrass him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

You got to just be like next time he does it at dinner, no matter who's with you, you got to be like did you just put your hand down your pants and smell your own nuts at the table? You need to say it out loud.

[Stavros Halkias]

Even you saying that in like a quoting her to a different guy. Just hearing you say that to me.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was embarrassed. Did. I didn't do it.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Just. Just hearing that you got to hold up a mirror territory tone about that.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. You got to hold up a mirror and be like that's fudgeing disgusting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And I think you are so right. Rosebud where it's like yeah, he's just good at fucking. And he got an insane pass. Like probably the first time he did did this he had just made her bust four times.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And she's like who cares? You know.

[Rosebud Baker]

She's like I can't even see.

[Stavros Halkias]

And like it probably happened a few times where that. And now you feel weird bringing it up. But this is just one of the most classic version calls we get where it's like you just have to have a conversation here. This is insane.

[Rosebud Baker]

And watch what happens. He'll. He'll eat your better that night.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Maybe he really will. It's true.

[Rosebud Baker]

You embarrass him. He's going to have to. To you know, he's going to have. He could be double down.

[Stavros Halkias]

He could go. He could get off on that. You never know. Yeah. But yeah. This is just crazy. You have completely convinced yourself it's deeper than it is. Bringing in his neurod divergence. Like by the way do you mean he's add Cuz it's like this is not an explanation unless there's Some kind. Like, you don't need to dog train. You need to be like. Like, this is literally what. Like, how you teach a baby stuff?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. You need to put his face in.

[Stavros Halkias]

No. Yeah, he might like it. He's smiling his own balls.

[Rosebud Baker]

You got to be like, this is. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, you just have to be like, this is gross. Stop doing this.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, what would you do if he, like. I don't even. Like. Like, what's another girl? I don't even know? Like, if he, like, trimmed his toenails. If he. If he, like, took his.

[Rosebud Baker]

If he beat out his own toenails.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And just like, what if he, like, took his shoes off, rubbed the inside of his toes and was like. You know what I mean? Like, you'd be like, what the. He's doing something. Like, it's a level under that. But it's weird to smell weird. And it's not even. Like you caught him once where he thought he was alone. Like, he just does this in front of you. That's crazy. So, yeah, stand up, have a little. Show a little backbone, and be like, please stop smelling your balls at the dinner table, you goon. Yeah, it's crazy. Crazy. Insane. You know, many people are calling fall the season of sex. Many are saying, now is the time. It's getting chilly. Summer. Everyone says there's fucking and sucking in the summer. It's hot, you're sticky, you're sunburned. You ever try to get pussy with a sunburn that'll make your dick soft? You know what will make your dick hard? That's right. The first.

[Elders]

First.

[Stavros Halkias]

The first. The Lee, the industry leader in chewable sex tablets. Our pals at Bluechew. You know, maybe you've just had a pumpkin spice latte, You've had a little sweet potato pie, you've watched the leaves fall, and you're like, you know, be nice getting some fucking trim while I let my window open and a nice breeze flies in. Oh, geez, I hope my dick doesn't get soft and I get embarrassed. Embarrassed while I'm wearing a nice cardigan sweater? Fear not, cuz with Bluechew, your dick will be hard as a. Yeah, it's gonna be fucking stiff as hell. You don't. You know, some might say my meat telescope saw God and it winked. Some might say, you know, I popped a bluechew, and now the TSA calls me sir before every bad day. This is a world where the TSA respects you more because your dick is hard. When they pat you down, they're like, what, is this guy trying to smuggle a weapon? Oh, no, it's just his hard cock from bluechew. I'm gonna salute him and call him sir and that frankly, that's the kind of respect you deserve where your dick is as hard as bluechew makes it. And we've got. And by the way, we've got a special deal for our listener listeners. As always, get your first month of BlueChew Free. Just use promo code Stavi at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Join Blue choose mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to bluetooth.com for details and safety info. And big thank. And thank you Bluechew. Thank you Mr. Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast and making our hard while you do it.

[Elders]

Rosebud, can you put your can on the floor?

[Rosebud Baker]

My what?

[Elders]

Put your can on the floor.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, why?

[Stavros Halkias]

I think you're about to find out. Whoa. What the hell's going on, huh? Holy shit. It's time to. It's time to keep it twisted, folks. That's right. It's the motherfucking twisted ass up. Question of the week. Holy. I love keeping it twisted, Rose. But I know you're sober, but I'm sure at a different time in your.

[Rosebud Baker]

Life, I was so scared I was going to have to break the news to you with the music on. I was like, oh no.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know at a time in your life, you also kept it very, very twisted. Yes, I did, Eldis. What's the ass up twisted? Question of the week.

[Caller]

Hey, Stavi. Elvis, esteemed guest. I was just calling because about a year ago I had a pretty big problem and I wanted to know get you guys opinion if I did the right thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caller]

Me and my father in law, we're really close with one another. He never had a son. I never really had a dad. We were at Uber Bros also. Like we drink, play pool, fish together.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's nice.

[Rosebud Baker]

Nice.

[Caller]

But we're at a party about a year ago and he told me that he was having an emotional affair. Oh, nothing physical.

[Stavros Halkias]

Daddy's keeping it twisted at that party. Oh, and yikes.

[Caller]

This is made me promise not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, this is when you're too close to your father in law.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

When your father. When your father in law thinks he can confide about cheating. You're married to his daughter.

[Rosebud Baker]

Keep it twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

I will say your father in law is keeping it very twisted. All right, keep going eldest. Let's see what else is going on.

[Caller]

Here with one of the girls. That was at that party.

[Stavros Halkias]

And.

[Caller]

He made me promise not to tell anybody. Keep it between us, you know, But I haven't told my wife. I haven't told her mother. Of course, but just kind of want.

[Rosebud Baker]

To get your read on that, get.

[Caller]

Your opinion, see if I did the right thing or if not, if I can fix that, maybe come clean about something or if I should just hold on to it. But.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Love the podcast, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is twisted as hell.

[Caller]

Make my work days go by quicker. So. Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting. I mean, this is insane.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, this is great.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is a twisted question.

[Rosebud Baker]

This is like a whole reality TV season right here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, you really could get a. Of. Lot, lot of. There's a lot of meat on this bone.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, absolutely. I want more details. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, I guess my limiting factor is I cannot fathom being this close to a father in law.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, and again, I haven't been in many relationships. I've barely met dads. And even if I did, it's like, you know, there have been like regular. You know, I also don't really respect father figures. This would never happen to me. Me, right. Like, I would never.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This would just net. He would know that I love my wife more than him. Yeah. Like, I obviously would. Like, like, I just. Having said that, you know, he's in.

[Rosebud Baker]

I mean, this had to have happened after a moment where this guy had to have been like, I love you, man. You know, like, you're like a father to me. And he's like, now's when I tell him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or else I've been thinking about getting from the lady at the country club.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's the other thing is it's got to be more than an emotional affair. No man is looking at another man and being like, I have have something to confess.

[Stavros Halkias]

That could have been him. Sort of like, that could have been the like canary in the coal mine of like, if he. I'm about to.

[Rosebud Baker]

This lady.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. No, no. It could be like, if he doesn't snitch on this, that I can. I can trust him with the reality. I've been her for four months.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, know, like he. He leaked something that he could come back from.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

To see if he would snitch. And now that he doesn't, he's kind of earned his. Now he'll confine him for whatever.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Alternatively, I think like he says this happened. He confessed this a year ago. I think he could have told him. And then this guy hasn't heard about It. Ever since. Ever again. Maybe the dad just started like this woman and he was like, like, you know, he's like, oh, I'm into deep. Why did I even tell him that in the first place? I need to like, keep this to myself.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I mean, listen. Yes.

[Elders]

Under wraps.

[Stavros Halkias]

I guess another reading of that is like he just slipped up and said it on the, on the point of a precipice. On the precipice of also could just be. Yeah, I mean, I guess those are the two options, but in my opinion. And he's ruined your relationship here because he put you in an impos. If he actually was your dog. Yeah, he would eat this. But he is kind of like, he's kind of like coming to you for support in cheating on your mother in law and like. And potentially ruining your wife's family. Yeah. Like, if he was a true bro, he would understand this is putting you in an impossible position. He would. If he was going to cheat, he was going to cheat. And then he would sort of let the fallout happen. Let his family deal with it.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you would have to take your cues from his wife. From your wife, his daughter. And when the, when the dust settled and it could be years from now, maybe you guys could pick up that, relate. Like, if anything, he should have seen you as collateral to cheating even. Like, if you guys are that close and you're like a Sunday to him.

[Rosebud Baker]

He definitely should have seen that as like a maybe I don't, I don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Blow this up or I don't even cheat because it's like this could up not only my.

[Rosebud Baker]

Well, let's not go crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I'm just saying, if he's really been.

[Rosebud Baker]

Married for a long time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. All right. I'm just saying if this is really a Disney movie where it's like you meet your. Your dad, the dad you never had.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, not only does he not tell you, but maybe he's like, I would really. If I did this and I got found out, I could fuck up. That's another member of my family. I lose. Whatever.

[Rosebud Baker]

But do you think, I mean, now.

[Stavros Halkias]

How do you handle it then?

[Rosebud Baker]

I would. I still would not. This is the thing that threw me off. Is that you suggesting that he's giving him this so that he can tell him more.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's possible.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm just saying that I hadn't considered that. That's crazy because I was going to be like, just don't say anything. Die with it. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Rosebud Baker]

But if this is Going to be something where he then tells you more and like, oh, you know that lady that I said I was having an emotional affair with? Well, she's pregnant. It's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Then you're like, oh, but we're naming it after you.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I will say yes. But I. But at the same time, he. That could have been the way to read him. And by not doing anything, by just kind of freezing, he might have just been like, okay, okay, he's not gonna snitch on me. But he wasn't like, nice, dude. Tell me about it. Right?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, you're kind of in the middle there. How do you handle it? The problem is he has now forced a secret between you and your wife, which is really up.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And ultimately, dude, I mean. Yeah, your options here are. Your options here are. He is forced. He is basically. Basically, you guys are both standing on a landmine.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And if anybody moves, it blows up. Right?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So your options are stand on the landmine till you die or call in the tactical bomb squad, which is telling your wife, I don't know, try and diffuse it to get. But by the way, I don't know.

[Rosebud Baker]

If that's the move, though.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm just saying those are your two options. Your two options are like, take it to the grid. But if he does anything else, you tell your wife, like. Like, what I'm saying is if there's any movement, you call in the bomb squad. And even though there's a very hard bomb to defuse, it's probably a 10%. You have to call it in if anything changes.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, if anything changes, then you tell your wife. But I would say that right as it is now, I wouldn't tell her.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is really.

[Rosebud Baker]

I really think that you're, like, you're making her go, okay. Just. In my experience with, like, my girlfriends, when I find out that somebody's cheating on one of my girlfriends girlfriends, and I tell them, they ditch me. They don't ditch their boyfriend. So if you're. Even if you're her husband, I think if you're going like, your dad is cheating. I think she's gonna pick her dad. I think she's gonna.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know. I don't. I don't know. That's true. And I think, like I said, I.

[Rosebud Baker]

Guess he would know. It's like if you know what the relationship is between them.

[Stavros Halkias]

I also think it's not even about snitching. It's about being like, I don't want to lie to you ever. You know what I mean? Which is like ideally that is what you want out of a marriage. From important like look, white lies, whatever. But we're talking about like this guy is forcing you of no ill. Like you didn't do anything to have to hold this level of secret.

[Rosebud Baker]

But that's why I think you're unloading your guilt onto her. But in this way because right now there's nothing has happened happened.

[Stavros Halkias]

Supposedly you're protecting her but basically you're saying yeah, his guilt. But also like her dad's comfort is more important than keeping honesty between your spouse.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm saying that the wife's comfort is more important.

[Stavros Halkias]

That in a way keeping the secret is just easier for her. Comfortable now what if it comes out and then it's like he's known about this for.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, he hasn't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Because who tells?

[Elders]

I think he has coverage. I'm kind of with you, Rosebud, especially because like it's only emotional cheating for all intents and purposes. Like the. The caller is still in the dark. He doesn't know what else has happened. He hasn't learned any new information.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Elders]

Maybe if his father in law tries to leak something a little more tangible to him, it's time to go nuclear.

[Rosebud Baker]

I would also say like maybe stop hanging out with him so much.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, totally. No, this is over.

[Rosebud Baker]

This.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's everything up. But that's a good point. If he tries to keep it any more twisted then he has to completely be like your dad was saying some weird. I thought he was drunk and now he's bringing it up again. Like do you think your dad would ever cheat? Like you could even say it that way where. Yeah, your dad was being kind of. We don't even know what the he was saying. Like he was looking at that Martha with you know, whatever. Like. Right. I don't know, something going on between them. He was being weird. Weird at a party. A couple like a. Like a last year. But I just chalked it up to him being kind of strange and being a horny old guy.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you think it like you could maybe handle it that way? I guess that's absolutely. I guess that's true. You could minimize this and lie to yourself even and.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And keep it just twisted enough.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I would say this man has lost his twisted tea privileges with you. He doesn't get to enjoy an ice cold twisted tea tea at a family reunion with you. No. He has to drink lukewarm other malt beverages that aren't brewed with real Iced tea. He's kept it too twisted. And that'll do it. That'll do it for this. This week's twisted ass motherfucking question of the week.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh my God. When you started playing that music and you, you brought out the Twix and te.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was like, yes.

[Rosebud Baker]

I have a disease.

[Stavros Halkias]

Listen, I, you know, we got it, we got. Yeah, yeah, you're flashback. You're like, am I riding a bull in Northern Virginia?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Am I on a mechanical bull in Daisy Dukes? 17 years old with a fake ID.

[Rosebud Baker]

Trying to. A 45 year old. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Jennifer, this guy's father in law.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's wild.

[Rosebud Baker]

That is twisted.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is. He kept it too twisted. What else do we have? Elders.

[Rosebud Baker]

I loved that.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was good. That was a. That was a philosophical quandary.

[Caller]

I got. I finally got a question to shoot your way. So I've been dating my fiance. We are engaged. We've been together around six years and you know, everything's been good and everything's been very cool, very copacetic. But you know, the other day she was telling me that she's been having a lot of dreams about her past. She still works at her old fucked up job. She's still living with her fucked up dad. All this sort of stuff is coming back in her dreams and shit. And today we were talking on the phone and she calls me by her ex's name. I mentioned to her, I mentioned, mentioned it to her, you know, like, what the. Did you just. What did you call me? And she's, you know, tried to brush it off. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I don't know where that came from. And you know, as far as. I never met the guy, but as.

[Stavros Halkias]

Far as this guy's.

[Caller]

She tells me she doesn't fucking like this guy. And you know, we've been dating for a long time. I don't think she's talked to him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh God.

[Caller]

But I don't know. Am I being insecure here? That was kind of up to me.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's going on.

[Caller]

I didn't make too much of a deal of it when it happened, but you know, it. I mean, it's not normal. That's so goddamn sure. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love you like an early Adam Sandler character.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's going on? Are you. Your ass. Okay, this is interesting, but if it's want. Okay. What I'm confused about is the dreams element. Why are you talking about the dreams about her past?

[Rosebud Baker]

It seems like something that she would have brought up to, to say to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Be like, oh, I'm having.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm having dreams about my. My past.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, because, okay, isolated incident. Let's take the dream out. Let's take whatever. If the question is, I'm talking to my fiance and she has a weird Freudian slip and calls me an. An ex's name, should I be worried about this? I would say that's kind of annoying. And I wouldn't be pumped, but I wouldn't be like, what the. Are you cheating on me? Yeah. And now the dream element is like, are you worried that there's some kind of, like, she's having some kind of flashback episode? Like, what even. What is that as an explanation? Like, I like what you're saying where it's like, maybe she said it's like, oh, I don't know. I've been having these weird dreams. I'm fixating on this period of my life.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe. But like, as an isolated incident, you can't get worked up about it. It is insecure. It is kind of weird.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now if it becomes a weird pattern, like if this happens again or she's. She. She's like, that's something. But you can't. We're talking about six years versus one weird slip up. Who's like, this guy's name's Brian. Maybe she saw the name Brian somewhere else. I don't know.

[Rosebud Baker]

The timing of it is so weird because it's been six years. Like, if. If I.

[Stavros Halkias]

True, that's a good point.

[Rosebud Baker]

I've been with Andy for five years. I can't imagine calling him my ex's name.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good point.

[Rosebud Baker]

Five years later.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is a good point.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like, for this to have happened for the first time five years later to me is a little bit. And then I don't know if this is the case, but if she, like, used this dream thing, if this is something that she sort of told him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Rosebud Baker]

That feels like grasping for an explanation in a way that feels a little shady to me. I don't know. And I get why he, like, am I being. Because if they're engaged, he might not want to, like, give it some time to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know? So I think.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. When's is the wedding? In two months.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And she's been thinking about what her life was like before him a lot and dreaming about it. Like, that's not a great sign.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's a good point.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's a long time to not call him your ex and then start calling him your ex.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because. Because, yeah. If it's never happened before. Like, like, is she a forgetful she like a weird like flighty person who's just like, who know? Like, I don't know. Like, I guess that is your point is an interesting one where it's like if that happened either it's a completely weird. Like she saw the guy. She saw the guy's name written somewhere. Like she saw like a realtor with his name.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

On a bus stop. Right. As she's talking to you on the phone, she looks at it like, oh yeah, whatever, Brian. You know what I mean?

[Rosebud Baker]

Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or the flip side and the sinister side is like for some reason she's been thinking about this person.

[Rosebud Baker]

I feel like I'm giving a lot of sinister advice today.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know where that is.

[Elders]

That is interesting because.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, that's a good point.

[Elders]

My initial reaction, I. I was with you stuff. But that is true. Like if you're six years in that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Would you ever say, like I would have to think about who the ex was.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? Like I have to be like, I'd have to remember what name would I even. You know what I mean? Like how, you know, I guess the, the last X. But even that, I get it if.

[Rosebud Baker]

It'S been three months, you know what I mean? She just went through a breakup, started dating you right away and all of a sudden she calls you by her ex's name. Like that's. I get that. Cuz it's like you're still like, like you know, kind of in that head space a little bit. You didn't get. You didn't get a second to breathe.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Rosebud Baker]

Six years together. I don't, I'm like, does she work with her ex? Because he said that she's at the same up job.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm like, but no, no, that's in her dreams.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Those are the. She's just describing the dreams.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, right.

[Stavros Halkias]

So none of that. She ostensibly lives with him and has a better job, but she's been dreaming about. The dreams are kind of throwing me off. But what were you going to say? Eldest?

[Elders]

I mean, I do think ultimately the intent does not really matter here because if it is one time, it is a slip up. And yeah, you kind of look like a. If you're like tarping on this and.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can I see your phone?

[Elders]

Just.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you talk to him? Yeah. That's so weird.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Just legally in court, this isn't grounds to even.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Elders]

You have to let it go from your own mind. You can't like, think about this.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, even.

[Elders]

Even if, like it was on a day were, like, who knows, she was thinking about her ex or something, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Elders]

There's no way to prove that.

[Stavros Halkias]

It also could have been. You can think about a person for your past in a completely innocent way too. You know what I mean? Like, you just be like, oh, that was. Especially if you're. Let's say the dream thing is true. And she's like, why the was I thinking about that job when I was dating that idiot? Like, she could have been. It could have been like that too. Right. And I guess. I guess the analogy I would use, like, you know, it's like I will say, oh, sorry. No, go ahead. If you're.

[Rosebud Baker]

If you're going to marry this woman, it's like a good way to go into marriage is giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

[Stavros Halkias]

For sure.

[Rosebud Baker]

I. I think otherwise you're a little. You, You.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have to. And I, I guess this would be like, you know, it's like if you see a. A little spot of water on your floor. On the floor. Are you like, the roof is caved in? Like, it's like. No. Somebody. Little water could have said like a little condensation could have. Have fell.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It doesn't mean you need a whole new roof. It doesn't mean there's like a, you know, a tornadoes coming. Yeah, just a little.

[Elders]

That's.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the. That's what we're talking about here. Yeah. You're worried about a flood and you just saw a speck of water on the floor that could have gotten there a thousand much more reasonable ways. So. Okay, if you see the water there next week, if you see a pool get a little bit. If it gets even a little bigger, like, huh. I'm going to keep an eye on that. But if that's all it is for.

[Rosebud Baker]

Now, you just clock it and move on.

[Stavros Halkias]

For now, you just put a little paper. Yeah. You get a paper towel and you keep it moving. Who gives a. Yeah. But yeah, don't. Don't worry about it too much.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Even though she's clearly cheating. No, no, no. She's not absolutely getting railed.

[Rosebud Baker]

She's getting railed.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's weird. But you're fine, dude. Yeah. You know, Eldis, I've been, uh. I've been lifting heavier recently at the gym, and my body ain't as spry as it used to be. I'm getting some aches and pains, you know, but I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to be hooked on any, any kind of medicine that might fuck me up. I need the, I need Mother Gaia's medicine. I need the CBD gummies from Cornbread Hemp, which are formulated to work with your body, not against it. I hate when something is formulated to work against my body. Body. That does not happen with Cornbread Hemp. It's important for me to maintain my physical and mental wellness, folks. That's hard. I'm podcasting. I'm in the podcast factory, putting in sometimes 90 minutes, 100 minutes of work in. And I need cornbread hemp CBD gummies to get my wellness singing like a bird. Have you tried everything under the sun for peace of mind? Well, you got to try Cornbread Hemp CBD gummies. I like, I take them at night. They help me relax. They help, you know, they help relieve discomfort, stress, sleeplessness. Sometimes I draw a nice warm bath. I'm on my divorced lady. I'm on my middle aged bubble bath. You know, in the 90s, I feel like that was a big trope. Women used to love bubble baths in the 90s. And me, I'm, I'm, I got a little, I got a little, you know, I soak in a nice warm tub. I got the Cornbread Hemp. I'm feeling good, brother. Right now, Stavis World listeners can save 30% off on their first order. Just head to cornbreadhemp.com stavi and use code STAVI at checkout. That's cornbread hemp.com starvi and use code STAVI. Little eldest.

[Caller]

Hey, Stavros. Big fan. Big fan of the Raven since all the way back in the Jamal Lewis day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nice, dude. Hell yeah.

[Caller]

Hope everyone's doing well. Looking forward to some relationship and just kind of general advice to bowl it down. I kind of consider myself a bit of a loser.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, no.

[Caller]

Between a social aspect and haven't really been in a long term relationship or hell, now that I think of it, ever spit a background, well groomed, hygienic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caller]

Dress well for someone who's, you know, from the hills of Georgia. White guy from the hills of Georgia. Good job since I graduated college. Nice car, athletic business build. You know, I swam in college and played soccer.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true.

[Caller]

You know, relatively tall. I consider myself reasonably attractive. Ironic enough, I get hit on my gay guys a good bit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caller]

So it was super helpful for me. But whenever it happens, I take it as a bit of a confidence boost. Keep my house clean. I've got two cats.

[Stavros Halkias]

Jesus Christ.

[Rosebud Baker]

Anyway, so if you want to come.

[Caller]

Over and I've got two sisters and, and I'm a bit of a mama's boy, so very big on, on women's rights and women's rights. So brother, I mean all that said, you know, I haven't in two years, so, you know, there's something there. Can't really pin it down. But any advice, you know, y' all could give, you know, I'd greatly appreciate. Appreciate it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you guys. Just a genteel southerner listing off why he's a good guy. He's like, I haven't gotten but a stitch of. I haven't narrow dove in any muff for over, you know, eight, four beaver. Oh my God. Good God, dude. Okay, okay. I mean, look, so he, he's giving us his bone of feeds as to why he should be able to get.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But okay, but he's not saying what he's.

[Rosebud Baker]

What are you doing?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's like, okay, you're a, a reasonably. You're an eligible bachelor here, but like, what is your day to day life look like? Are you making it an effort? Are you on dating apps? Are you going out? Are you like, like, are you being social? Are you do or you know, are you going, Are you going to bars, whatever? Like, do you have a group of friends you guys go out with and you talk to people and. Because you're in a great spot, right? Like usually these sort of incel calls that we get, we try and build them up to where you are right to be. To be at a, a reasonable base where you believe in yourself. Clearly, I would say there is a confidence issue. There must be something. Yeah, because like why, yeah, why didn't you tell. Like he said he hasn't been in a relationship ever. What's that about? Number one, right?

[Rosebud Baker]

Did he say, did he say how old he is?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, but if he's a Jamal, I mean, Jamal Lewis, I was in. He's probably our, our age. I mean. Yeah. Or a little older. I mean like Jamal Lewis. Shout out. 2000 yard rock rusher. Super bowl champion Jamal Lewis. Free him. He's not, he's not guilty of the allegations. No, I don't, I don't think he did anything that bad. But you know, he did serve some time in prison, but actually look up what he did. I don't remember, but he's a great running back.

[Rosebud Baker]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, so yeah, he's probably free him.

[Rosebud Baker]

He didn't do it. Can you look up what he did.

[Stavros Halkias]

Actually, let's look up what he did. I think he just like rocked robbed somebody, I don't think. No, this is not him. That's a different. Oh, wait, is this him?

[Elders]

Cocaine?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah. Who cares, man? Yeah, sold a little cook. We were just talking about it. Yeah.

[Elders]

Attempting to set up a cocaine deal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on.

[Rosebud Baker]

All right.

[Stavros Halkias]

The guy's trying to make a little money. You know how much NFL running backs are underpaid and they. They deal with a lot of physical. Physical they get. They have some of the lowest paid for how much. You know what kind of a toll they take. And this is. This man is a legend. We should take care of him. Anyway, Jamal did nothing wrong. So back to this.

[Rosebud Baker]

Maybe this guy won't stop talking about that.

[Stavros Halkias]

I wanted Jamal Lewis Jersey, actually.

[Rosebud Baker]

Maybe every day that he takes a woman on, it's just that she's just going.

[Elders]

I mean, just a little cocaine ain't.

[Stavros Halkias]

That big a deal. So. Yeah, dude, I mean, are you doing any of the other stuff? You, you know, your resume is good, you're in a good zone. But like, if you're not putting yourself out there, if you're not. And honestly.

[Rosebud Baker]

And do you eat?

[Stavros Halkias]

And do you eat? That's a good point.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know, cuz he does seem very genteel.

[Stavros Halkias]

Too much. Yeah. Well, that's undignified. But he's from the hills. We're kind of giving him a bit of a, you know, Southern gentleman quality. But this man, this man gets down and dirty.

[Rosebud Baker]

Crouches. Get in a crouch.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think he will.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah, dude, what you. You haven't given us a lot. You're basically. All you've said is all you want is from your question, all you want is to be like is, wow, you should get. You're right. But like, you're clearly doing something.

[Rosebud Baker]

Thing that feels off to me is that the whole thing is kind of set up for us to be like, why isn't anybody this.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good point. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe that maybe your outlook, your. Your general outlook of like is sort of victim mentality. I have all this. Why aren't I getting not. Maybe you're not that guy. You know, you seem like a, a polite gentleman, but it's like, why, but because you're starting in such a good spot. What is going wrong, I think is what we need to figure out here. And my hunches, Is it like, is this a priority for you? Are you putting a lot of your efforts into this? Are you. You Know, spending too much time lobbying for abortion access.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe dial back the feminism. Maybe dial back how well you're dressed. You know, like, maybe maybe spend a little more time going on dates.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm going to say don't dial back how well you're dressed.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you're right.

[Rosebud Baker]

Or the feminist.

[Stavros Halkias]

But.

[Rosebud Baker]

But go on these dates and like, like, just based off of the way that this is. I mean, it's a voicemail. So you're. And you're talking about yourself and that's the way that it's supposed to be. But like, I would make sure that on the dates that you're on, like, ask these women about themselves. Like, anytime there's a lulling conversation, ask them something.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Don't bring up what's going on with Mom. Mama.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's what I was gonna say.

[Elders]

I. I do like that I don't sense, like, bitterness in his voice.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Elders]

But I will say, like, the.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're.

[Elders]

The. That you're like, listing. It's like, do women even care? Like, you know, some mama's boy and khakis and coif tear. That doesn't seem like, you know, a guy that women want to throw at all the time.

[Stavros Halkias]

So it's like, it's not a negative, but it's not a pot. You're not necessarily.

[Rosebud Baker]

I think it might be a positive in the south.

[Stavros Halkias]

And for sure. I mean, for certain people just being well put together and like, it's not. He is starting from a positive place. Place. It's just. Why. Why is this happening? You know, are you a little too, you know, we don't hear bitterness. We don't hear general incel. Seething. But is that because he's so polite, he's hiding it? Like, do you have that? Like.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And by the way, it's okay to be. To feel a little desperation. To feel. To get your back against the wall and be like, I gotta.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? Like, it's okay to have a little. You don't want too much of that, but a little bit of that to just like, spur you on. To actually, you know, put together a good dating profile. Swipe is.

[Rosebud Baker]

I would pay for it before you go on the date. I would. I would pay for sex before you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Knock the cobwebs out a little bit.

[Rosebud Baker]

Do that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

And then get out there and be somebody.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true. Is there. Are you a little too polite? Are you a little too reserved? Are you too much? Are you Kenneth from 30 Rock, you.

[Rosebud Baker]

Know, if you're sitting across the table with like white knuckles, you know what I mean? Then it's like she's gonna feel that.

[Stavros Halkias]

So maybe Interesting. He's too icy.

[Rosebud Baker]

Get your rocks off and then go on the date because it's gonna feel like she'll feel it. If you're true. You're over there. Just.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true. You don't want to be. You don't want to be in the red. You don't want to be, you know.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You want to be in a nice, nice horny. You want to be at a nice horny. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You're redlining right now.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm, I'm. Yeah. Hopefully we hit on some of this, buddy. But, you know, let us know and maybe even call. Maybe call in a live show. Actually, I would like to talk to him and get to the bottom of this. Yeah. Which we will be doing more of. We are. There's not that much travel going on and actually I say that, but we're going to be gone half of November. We're going to be gone in Dec. We got Boston, we got Austin. I'm probably going to go to Baltimore. I'm l going to be a ton of trap. There always is.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's no, there's no, there's no rest.

[Rosebud Baker]

You're trapped. Yeah, it sucks.

[Stavros Halkias]

It sucks. I was like, man, I can't wait to relax this fall. And every day there's another thing I have to do. Like every. The, the calendar just keeps Tor is right around the corner.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yesterday was the first day in, I think four years that I haven't done anything. Like, I went to the.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know what you mean. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

I went to the, the Botanical Gardens and I like walked around.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. That's awesome.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like, this is. I haven't done this in so long.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know. A day with no responsibilities is such a beautiful treat.

[Rosebud Baker]

Crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. What do we got, Els? Maybe a couple more here and then we'll send our guest on her way.

[Caller]

Hi, Stavi. And esteemed guest and eldest and all of that great, beautiful stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hello.

[Caller]

I have a question. I quite literally just found out a lot of this information, like last night. But it turns out that my brother has cheated on his girlfriend who he has been with for three years. His girlfriend is amazing. Truly one of the most kindest, most beautiful, amazing, well rounded people I've ever met. And he cheated on her and my whole family.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't get to choose your family.

[Caller]

Question is, how much of A relationship am I allowed to still have with his ex girlfriend? I care about my brother. He's my older brother, you know, he's important to me. However, I hate what he did. And the girl that he cheated on is an amazing person and I'd love to still be her friend. So I'm wondering if that's allowed or if it's not. Anyway, anyway, thank you, Stavi. I have big old Hugo double D knockers.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hold on, let me lock in. Really huge tits, you say? Well, your problem matters.

[Rosebud Baker]

Let me lean in.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, so first of all, this is very fresh. That's a big. That's a big thing to think about here. But also my. My number one piece of advice here is that you don't get to choose this, right? The girlfriend got cheated on by your brother.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's up to her how much. Yes, she likes you.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's what I was thinking the whole time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, you might. And I get the frustration, right? Because this is classic. Like. Like, I mean, there's definitely times where I've broken up with someone and I could tell my, like my mom's like, come on, man. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I like that girl. You know what I mean? Like. And like family members are like. Or I mean, sometimes the opposite happens. Whether you break up somebody and they're like pumped, whatever. But it's like you, you're. This. Your brother is your family, unfortunately. And this girl is just a girl in terms of like what your. What your relationship is here and. Yeah. Was he a piece of shit? Sure. But it's like, is it the kind of thing. Thing that it's not, you know, it's human, it sucks. But it's not like the thing that you like, you know, get. You don't talk to your family about. It's like you. Why did you ruin the relationship with a girl we all loved? Right. Clearly this is a person you like. Like in a vacuum. If you had and that you weren't related to them, you would rather hang out with this woman than your brother. Right?

[Rosebud Baker]

Obviously.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that happens all the time. Yeah. Yeah. But that's not your choice. And you don't live in a vacuum. You live in.

[Rosebud Baker]

And she might not want to see you or anyone. Family.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. Like, totally. And that's really up. Again, it's up to her. Just cuz your. Your brother. Something up with a person you wish was in your life forever.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I got news for you. The odds are not good. You're allowed to have the relationship she wants you to Have. And you can be as close. I mean, ultimately, it's also like your brother.

[Rosebud Baker]

You don't have to ask your brother.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, no. He. Like, he doesn't matter in this. If you. And is there a scenario where this person's like, you know what? Whatever. I dodged a bullet. I don't want to be with somebody who cheated on me. But I really like this. Like, you do hear those stories too, where it's like, people who either are related or even, like, very close friends. Yeah. Like, they'll be like, oh, you know what? I actually don't like. I like this person more than my friend who was dating her. I've seen women become friends in situations like this. I've seen, you know, like, this. This happens. Happens. But it's not up to you. This could also happen where it's like, she loved your brother. She wanted to marry him.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're a reminder of the life he ruined.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. You're a constant reminder.

[Rosebud Baker]

Your best bet may not be able to even look at you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. You know, your best hope is that your brother's a idiot piece of.

[Rosebud Baker]

And that you don't look like him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You don't look like him. That's true. If you look totally different, that could help. Help.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But if she doesn't care about him that much, if she comes out of this is like, he was a. And she likes you and you don't look like him. You. It could happen. I'm not saying it's. It's impossible, but, I mean, you even hear about, weirdly, people who have, like, relationships with people's parents they broke up with.

[Rosebud Baker]

I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like that, to me, is insane, but kind of cute.

[Rosebud Baker]

I have a couple of exes whose parents still check in on me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. Fucking. That. That's. That's honestly kind of cute. But. Yeah, you can't. It's not up to you is basically what it comes down to.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. But you got big knockers.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you do have huge tits, and that is important. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Either way, you're a winner.

[Stavros Halkias]

The important thing is that you keep those things. And you know what? Maybe put them. Dump them out every once in a while. Yeah. Maybe it'll help you throw them on the table to show. Put them on the glass. I would love, like, one of those boats, like the bottom boats where it's the water, but I would like to be underneath it and be a fish and ladies just put their tits on it. Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah. I Like to be doing a backstroke with scuba gear. Just seeing ladies push their tits on the glass.

[Elders]

That's your definition of snorkeling?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm ignoring the Great Barrier Reef. I'm just looking at Australia.

[Rosebud Baker]

You got a great business idea.

[Stavros Halkias]

This.

[Rosebud Baker]

Is what you do.

[Stavros Halkias]

We gotta diversify. Nothing less forever. Yeah, that's my version of Nateland.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Stav, land just one glass bottom boat where we get strippers to put their tits on it. That would be awesome. I'm like, all. All joking aside. Yeah, I would love to experience that.

[Rosebud Baker]

I mean, I wouldn't be a friend if I wasn't, like, make money.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, I'll just play us this one. What do we got?

[Caller]

Hi, savvy and esteemed guest.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you for you're held in high esteem here.

[Caller]

I'm in a bit of a predicament. I have been living with my partner's family for the. The past year. We live in a really high cost of living city. So it's been a huge blessing. And I've saved so much money and I kind of am not in any rush to leave, per se.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you're not right.

[Caller]

However, I am starting to sort of pick up on little bits and bobs from his parents that are kind of ready for us to go. We have been there a year, so. Yeah, yeah, I totally understand. I mean, they live in a large house in this said city. But I am curious if you have any advice on, like, navigating, asking to stay a little bit longer. They've just sort of been like, you know, oh, we're like, saving this. They're also like hoarders. They're major hoarders. Oh, we're saving. Saving this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Jesus. That's how bad society has gotten.

[Caller]

Saving this furniture for you. Whenever you guys are ready to go.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so fun.

[Caller]

We have all this stuff here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hey, we have these stacks of people magazine from 1984. Yeah, we've been saving these for you. We've been saving weird baby dolls. I'm just thinking about my grandmother.

[Rosebud Baker]

My grandmother always have a weird baby doll.

[Stavros Halkias]

I went to Greece in the middle of the Euro tour. I had a couple days off and I just said it. I'm in Europe. I'm going to go in Greece even. I was only there for like three and a half days and I. My grandparents have been dead both at this point. 10 years at least. Maybe a little longer. In greeting my one set, my dad's parents, their apartment is on is. There's so much that they're just like My. My aunt, uncle, my cousin, they're like, this is just like a full. It would take us so long. It was just like so much is still there. It's crazy.

[Rosebud Baker]

The whole whole.

[Stavros Halkias]

We have hoarding runs deep in. In the jeans. But yeah. Anyway, this. This is very funny. Is there more to it, Elder?

[Rosebud Baker]

The good news is if they moved, she's got like a couch made of file cabinets.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You can figure it out.

[Caller]

Or you guys are ready to go. Like, you have all this stuff here for you to leave when you're, you know, take with you when you leave. And I keep on saying to my partner, I'm like, I. I think are like, trying to subtly hint at us moving out relatively soon. Am I crazy for wanting to stay in their house? Is it wrong for me to stay in their house?

[Elders]

And.

[Caller]

How do we navigate the conversation of maybe staying another year?

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, this is.

[Caller]

I'm poor. All right, thanks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Bye. This is what we were talking about earlier. It's like, things have gotten so bad that this woman. Woman is clinging on to staying with her. Not even in law.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just boyfriends, hoarder parents.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. And she's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

You hear it in her voice. It's like she's like, I wanna. I. I've been living in a resort rent free. Like, she's talking like she's in.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cabo. And they're like, thinks it's good. It's like, that's how sad things have gotten, dude.

[Rosebud Baker]

Really, really bad.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pathetic. Now, from a general etiquette standpoint, is it wrong? No, it's not wrong. But are you rude? Like, look, it's good that you're picking up on these hints. Whatever.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your partner probably doesn't, like, now, you know, the person you're dating either. They don't give a. It's their parents. Right. Like, they kind of move. They've moved into, like, you mom and dad mode, which is really sad when you see an adult regress that way. And it's one thing when that happens over, like, a long weekend, but like, if that's their life, they're just behaving like that for a year. That's really weird and pathetic.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or they're just like, kind of like they're not in that mode, but they're just kind of not that emotionally intelligent. And because it's their parents, they're like, I don't care. So, you know, you're probably more sensitive to what's going on than they are.

[Rosebud Baker]

They also could be if they're like, genuinely Hoarders. I don't know if hoarders ever do they get like self conscious about how much crap is in their house. Like, could they be saying like, oh, we're just holding on to this because. So that you guys can take it?

[Stavros Halkias]

I, I think, I think once you cross, I think there's a moment that once you cross the hoarder Rubicon, once you're a part of their day to day and you. They see that they've accepted it.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think they might be embarrassed at first. First. But once they know you've accepted their terms of how they live, they go right to like, to them, they're like, did you such my glass figurines? You know, like it turns into that fast. That's how my aunt is. Anyway, so look, you're not crazy, but at the same time, it's a year. You saved up a lot of money.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like I talk to. First of all, talk to your partner and make a plan. Plan. And if you think they're subtly kicking you out, then be like, we need to get out of here by this date. Let them know, hey, we're, we're looking at apartments. And by the way, that can be a drag out the pro. If you really want to sort of be like diplomatic about it, you can drag. You can go to a couple open houses. You can say, you can, you can apply to something.

[Rosebud Baker]

Be like, we're really busy today. We got a full list.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Whole bunch of listings we got to look at.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. Or come back and be like, g, it was horrible. Or be like, we had this place and somebody got it right.

[Rosebud Baker]

Got it.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that. Which does happen, by the way. I lost a place I really wanted. And, and so, you know, especially in.

[Rosebud Baker]

High cost of living cities.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. It takes a while, but yeah. Look, you can't live like this forever. It's nice that it's, you know, it's nice you have a place where you don't pay rent, obviously. Obviously. But this also should be a bit of a wake up call to you to be like, do you want to live like this? It's also like, come on, man, you got. You want your own place.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, this is clearly this. Clearly pretty serious if you're willing to live with this person's parents.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't you guys want to take the next step in your relationship?

[Rosebud Baker]

Like, is it wrong for you to stay in their house? No. Are you crazy for wanting to stay?

[Stavros Halkias]

A little.

[Rosebud Baker]

A little.

[Stavros Halkias]

A little bit.

[Rosebud Baker]

I mean, not crazy, but it's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Would, Would she Just live here forever. Like if she could, would she live there for free?

[Rosebud Baker]

How much longer?

[Stavros Halkias]

Because this would drive me even when I was broke.

[Rosebud Baker]

Another year, she says maybe. Maybe staying another year, another years.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't know. Year is.

[Rosebud Baker]

I mean, look, are you guys in their parents house?

[Stavros Halkias]

Probably.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like, is it.

[Elders]

Probably.

[Stavros Halkias]

Either they are or they've already catapulted to sexless marriage. Marriage.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

By living with these old people, you know, like they've. Maybe you've started becoming a hoarder that you know, sits down and watches, you know, whatever, Jeopardy. Together every night. Whatever. No disrespect to Dan and Katie who do do that.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So during Katie Nolan. Love watching Jeopardy.

[Elders]

I've done that with my in laws many times.

[Rosebud Baker]

Andy. Anytime I watch it with Andy, I'm like, why the haven't you been on this show?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. So yeah, dude, talk to your. Talk to your partner. Figure out a plan. And also, by the way, you could again, it's not the craziest thing in the world to have an open conversation. You know, you just sit down with your in laws and be like, hey, I really just want to say really appreciate it. Like, you know, is this too much? Do you need us to get out of your head? You know, I want to save a little bit more money, but I'm happy to start. We're happy to start looking for apartments. Like, yeah, you can just have the conversation. Like really. So much of the show ends up like that. And, and by the way, cynically, if these are sort of like nice kind of pushovery people, there's a chance to.

[Rosebud Baker]

Be like, no, absolutely not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Take your time. Why would you think that? Yeah. You could potentially reset the clock another six months. Yeah. Without even trying.

[Rosebud Baker]

Or just by being direct or you.

[Stavros Halkias]

They might take you up on it and it. That's fine too. Like they already gave you a year.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You. You shouldn't inconvenience these people. Like, whatever. And then you get to live your life. You have to start living your life a little faster than you wanted to. But you know, good luck. It sucks that that's how unaffordable houses are.

[Rosebud Baker]

I know. But get out there and be somebody.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have some fast here eldest and.

[Rosebud Baker]

It sounds like she's saved a lot of money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's something.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's got to be enough to, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. You got something here to end. End on Eldis.

[Caller]

Hey, stuff. Hey, Elvis. I'm calling in for some advice for that girl that was on the Jordan Jensen podcast whose boyfriend had 15 friends that she couldn't break through to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah. Yes.

[Elders]

Yeah. Basically there's this caller, she was like, my boyfriend has like a ton of friends. Every time there's a big bar hang, I feel like I like can't conn with any of them except like maybe one or two videos.

[Rosebud Baker]

But every comedian's girlfriend.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, but they're good to not connect with every other comedian.

[Caller]

I also have an obnoxiously large friend group that stayed together from high school and I've seen this happen multiple times. And there's a very specific formula that.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'd recommend she follows. Okay, this is good.

[Caller]

There's always at least these two types of guys in groups that big. There's a guy that everyone typically makes fun of and so you're gonna want to immediately make fun of him but then when other people start to pile on, defend him because he's also kind of the sweetheart of the group.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is good.

[Rosebud Baker]

Write a book.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is really good at this.

[Rosebud Baker]

Write a book.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's saying this and I'm envisioning it working. Yes. This is really good advice. Yeah.

[Caller]

So kind of the sweetheart of the group and start making fun of the guys guy or the guys that are kind of like the top or the big dogs and don't get made fun of that often. That way you're immediately going to win over pretty much everyone except those major. And no one really likes them anyway.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So then that's really good advice.

[Caller]

She's golden after that.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is. That is really good advice.

[Elders]

Wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come in. Call Eldis a bumbling Albanian. Then when I'm overdoing it, say, relax, relax, you fat piece of shit.

[Rosebud Baker]

He's a sweetheart.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then I would love that legitimately. That would warm my heart. Yeah, but that's really good advice. Understand the.

[Elders]

And I'm trying to get my wife to defend me more.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I know. I do love when. When I went over your wife and she's laughing at me, mocking you.

[Elders]

Stop saying the beaches in Greece are better than Albania.

[Stavros Halkias]

We had elder so cooked his wife love loved Greece so much. We took like a big friendship. My cousin was getting married. Our buddy George was in Greece. They were going to be in Albania. So we just kind of like met Nice at in an island and we had such a good time and it was like be right before they kind of did like a little pre honeymoon because they knew they weren't going to be able to take a proper one for a while. Yeah. So they took like a nice pre wedding and literally like at elders wedding. His wife's talking about how awesome Greece is. Is. She's like asking for Greek songs to be played at the wedding. And literally on his wedding night was like, I'm Albanian. It was for real. One of my favorite memories was El is getting trolled on his own wedding day by his wife because of the beauty of Greece. Albanian.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

God. Oh, man. What a.

[Rosebud Baker]

Stomping your feet at.

[Elders]

What do you want on your wedding night?

[Rosebud Baker]

God damn.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was good. But yeah, that's great advice. That is great advice to that girl. Understand the social dynamics. Cuz a friend group that big is essentially a fraternity with that level of like, you know, social striation, honestly.

[Rosebud Baker]

So I love making fun of Andy, but whenever anybody else makes fun of Andy, totally, I will. I want to kill them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. And that's beautiful. That's what it should be. Yeah. All right. Well, there we go. Rosebud. Thank you so much for coming. That was a great episode. Of course. Go see Rosebud on the road. Go List. Go watch the special on Netflix. Netflix. We're coming on the road as well. We should start plugging those dates. We probably did it in the beginning. It. Yeah, but. Yeah, where. Where can they find you all that kind of stuff? Rosebud.

[Rosebud Baker]

Go to rosebudbaker.com for my tour dates. Rosebud Baker on Tick Tock, Instagram. All that jazz. Yeah. Oh, and Netflix the mother load.

[Stavros Halkias]

Netflix the motherlode. All right, thank you guys. We will talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.