#152 - Ryan Sickler

Summary

Stavi’s World #152 – Ryan Sickler (October 27, 2025)

Main Theme & Episode Overview

In this laid-back and rambunctious Halloween special, Stavros Halkias welcomes comedian and Baltimore native Ryan Sickler to the couch. Clad in Winnie the Pooh onesies, they reminisce about Halloween traditions, white trash childhoods, haunted houses, epic fast food deals, and the perils and hilarity of growing up poor and mischievous in Maryland. Sickler also opens up about surviving a near-death medical experience and the two field calls from listeners about living in a murder house, drama with exes, co-parenting, and more. Lively, nostalgic, vulnerable, and laugh-out-loud funny, this episode is a celebration of surviving childhood, the demonic energy of Halloween, and the absurdities of adult life.

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Costumes & Halloween Tone

• [03:23] Stav and crew are dressed as Winnie the Pooh characters, taking a “wholesome” angle on the Halloween episode, rebranding (jokingly) as a "born again Christian podcast."
• [03:56] Ryan: "This might be the first time I've done a podcast in socks."
• [04:36] Stav: "We are dressed as Winnie the Pooh. Wholesome characters against this satanic holiday of Halloween."

---

When Did Halloween Become Slutty? (Nostalgia & Cultural Change)

• [05:18] Stav: "It's almost become overplayed, how much it's about, you know, the slutty X. When did that occur? Was Halloween always slutty, or did it become sluttier in recent years?"
• [05:58] Ryan: “I feel like it’s been a couple decades—about the 2000s. If you’re a little older…it wasn’t like that. There was absolutely a shift. I can’t put my finger on the date.”
• Discussion of how adult Halloween parties and costumes shifted from kid-centric to provocative, with both blaming a “Y2K” cultural explosion.

---

Baltimore Halloween & White Trash Childhoods

Haunted Houses, Mischief & Vandalism

• [07:48] Ryan tells stories of Maryland’s haunted barns and being more of a “scare voyeur”—"I just liked watching other people get scared."
• [10:32] Stav remembers a Greek Orthodox church haunted house, getting terrified, and accidentally punching the actor in costume.

Mischief Nights and Vandalism

• [13:28] Ryan: “And just the vandalism on Halloween…my brother and a neighbor actually bashed in some monster pumpkins with a bat...”
• [14:54] Sweet details about being a fraternal twin, splitting up the family car, and exclusion from mischief (out of fear Ryan would "rat them out and get the car").
• [17:50] Ryan: “My brother was very sloppy…they’d vandalized the kid’s clothes and everything—with ketchup and Hershey’s syrup.”

Classic Bullying & Pranks

• [18:51] Classic snowball trick: “You throw one up, they look up, you drill them with the other.”
• [19:25] Modern times vs. the past—Stav: “Today you’ll get shot. But back then, we’d do that.”

---

Small Town Hijinks: Jumping Bridges, Snakes & Neighborhood Legend

• [20:00–23:00] Liberty Lake: Local lore about jumping off 100-ft bridges into manmade lakes, dangerous even with school clothes on. Stories of minor genital injuries and needing friends in the water as spotters.

  • Ryan: "A girl tore her vagina... she didn’t have her feet together.” (25:07)
  • Brothers competing to flip off the bridge: “He’s spitting up blood... That’s just your guys’ fun little after school hangout and your brother’s got internal bleeding.” (32:12)

• [33:04] Snake story: “A water moccasin is coming for my brother... Jeff Wagner skips a rock, cuts the snake in half mid-swim.” (34:54)

• [35:46] Local Maryland "folk hero" stories—Jeff was the kid with the golden throwing arm, winning overstuffed bears at King’s Dominion, "white trash legend" style.

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Growing Up Poor: McDonald's Sheets & Fast Food Economics

• [41:44] Stichler’s “white trash nostalgia” podcast and how poverty trickled down to having McDonald's–themed curtains and bed sheets as a child: “Matching McDonald’s bed sheets and curtains. That’s what we have.”

• [44:00] Fast food loyalties—McDonald’s as a childhood treat, but Stav evolves into a "Popeyes household." The glory of the Domino’s 555 deal: "Some of the best days of my life are like, mom’s gone, me and the fellas, AC blasting...each ordering our own pizza…”

• [45:54] White trash money-saving schemes:

  • Ryan: “We’d order the [pizza deal], eat one, then call and say there’s hair all over this pizza…they’d send out another with the deal. That’s six pizzas for the price of three. But you can only burn that once.”
  • Stav: “Now customer service is totally out the door...” (47:46)

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Tragedy, Survival & Attitude

Ryan’s Near-Death Hospital Story

• [49:03] Stav: "We just didn't talk about how you almost died!"
• [53:01] Ryan shares his medical ordeal: "Went in for a simple back surgery—routine, 3 hours. Ended up being three weeks in the hospital, about to die from pulmonary embolisms."
  • [58:21] "I, like, Fred Sanford, grabbed my chest and I said, I'm clotting...I collapse...I don't see anything after this."
  • [59:32] "They tell me I have massive pulmonary embolisms, my heart is twice its size. They tell me: these next 48 hours are touch and go and you should call some people."
  • “My one surgeon cried. He came in crying for me. I was like, this ain’t good.” (60:39)
• [61:34] Legal aftermath: No lawsuit since “doctors will never go against each other.”

Surreal Phantom Experience

• [57:46] Ryan describes a vision: "A black figure is touching my big toe... just a blob, and it shook my toe..." Wonders if he’s cursed by a mysterious “Red feather lady” encounter at a haunted LA bar ([63:23]).

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CALL-IN ADVICE SEGMENT

1. Buying a “Murder House” ([64:24]–[78:20])

Caller: Young couple, only way to afford a house was to buy one famous for a brutal murder ("11 shots, husband buried in concrete in the basement").

• Advice:
  • Stav: “If there’s real evil…maybe I skip that one. If it’s a crime of passion, and the dude was a piece of shit, I’d consider it.”
  • Stav: "The economy has gotten so bad that people need shelter so much...energy, mystical vibes, all that’s out the door. Now it’s: I don’t give a **** how many people died here."
  • Eldis: “For the right price, I think I would [live there], but I’d want to know all the details.”
  • Ryan: “She [the killer] might be like my mom, dragging a grown man down the steps...That’s my mom’s size.”
  • Memorable moment: Ryan tells a shocking similar story about delivering packages while a double murder was being covered up in the basement three houses down. ([66:58]–[69:49])
  • Quote: “You need a gruesome murder where it involves the foundation of your home...That doesn’t even knock 20K off the price anymore.” – Stav ([66:13])

2. Should I Pull Out of a Boring Group Trip? ([79:16]–[88:09])

Caller: Planning a 7hr Halloween road trip with friends, fears it’ll just be more “hanging out in the apartment doing nothing” in LA.

• Stav & Ryan’s advice:
  • “Do you like your friends? Sometimes just chilling is great. But seven hours is a lot. If you want wilder plans, you bring them.”
  • Ryan: “LA kicks ass for Halloween...the haunted hayride at the LA Zoo was a blast (except for the actual creep who snuck in the event one time).”
  • Bring your own plans: “Pick up drinks, research stuff to do, don’t rely on others if you want something specific.”

3. Psycho Ex Still Living Downstairs ([88:25]–[95:12])

Caller: Breaking up with girlfriend who lives below him in a duplex. She’s stalking, sharing Ring cam videos of his comings/goings and new partners, and poisoning their mutual friend group.

• Advice:
  • Stav: “Move. The only sense of normalcy will be when you or she leaves. You are roommates in all but name.”
  • Eldis: “Can he ignore his way out?” – Not really, because of the daily proximity and shared space.
  • Ryan: [strategizing] “What if you put out word you’re moving and see if she bails first?”
  • Overall: All hosts agree that escaping the physical proximity is the only way to truly break the toxic feedback loop.

4. Navigating Co-Parenting with a New Fiance & Ex ([95:12]–[106:57])

Caller: Has a 5-year-old son with ex who now lives 6hrs away, child chose to stay with him and new fiancée. Fiancée resents/blocks contact with ex, though she is “not a bad person, just can't get it together.”

• Advice:
  • Ryan: “Always do what’s best for the kid. You don’t need to be buddies with the ex, but don’t cut her off from her child. Makes no sense to alienate.”
  • Stav: “There has to be room for the biological mother to be part of the kid’s life—even if it’s supervised or at a distance. Your new partner is amazing for stepping up, but you owe it to your kid to make the possibility of a relationship with his mom open.”
  • Both: Keep boundaries clear, don’t let jealousy or past relationship drama poison the kid’s emotional future.

5. A Light Closer: “We want more Stav dressed as a bear!” ([107:26]–[109:01])

Caller requests Stav wear plush animal costumes more often, saying it brings him nonsexual joy—“though it could be sexual for others.”

• Stav, amused: “I do feel great in one of these. If I had a giant woman come pick me up and swaddle me and put me in a crib—now we’re talking...”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Ryan: "My mom's six foot. She can back me down in the post. Even as a shrinking old lady, she's taller than me at 70." ([16:06])
• Stavros: "The economy has gotten so bad, you need Epstein-esque child murder to get a 20k discount on a house." ([72:01])
• Ryan (near-death experience): “When I wake up, they tell me I have massive pulmonary embolisms...and my surgeon is crying for me.” ([59:31])
• Stav: “If you don’t leave that living situation, that’s a feedback loop entering hell. I don’t care if you ‘have two floors’—your ex has the Ring cam below you.”
• Eldis: “Every man has his price...for the right price, I might live in a murder house.”
• Ryan: "You don't have to be bros with your baby mama. Put the onus on her—'You can talk to your son, you can see your son.' Don't alienate the kid's mom."
• Stav: “Some of the best days of my life are: Mom’s gone, me and the fellas, AC blasting, Domino’s 555 deal, each ordering our own pizza, watching Yu-Gi-Oh...”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [04:36] – Halloween costumes, setting the wholesome Halloween/religion jokes
• [05:18] – "When did Halloween get slutty?" nostalgia segment
• [07:48] – Haunted barn & scare stories
• [13:28] – Halloween vandalism
• [20:00] – Liberty Lake bridge-jumping lore
• [25:07] – "A girl tore her vagina" bridge-jump/childhood injury stories
• [34:54] – Water moccasin beheading
• [41:44] – White trash McDonald's nostalgia
• [45:54] – Pizza fraud pro tip (white trash survival)
• [49:03] & [59:31] – Ryan’s near-death medical saga & hospital incompetence
• [64:24] – Murder house dilemma caller
• [79:16] – Road trip–Halloween plans caller
• [88:25] – Psycho ex–duplex stalker caller
• [95:12] – Co-parenting vs. jealous fiancée caller
• [107:26] – Fan request: Stav as a bear more frequently

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Episode Tone

• Casual, nostalgic, irreverently wholesome, loaded with working-class and regional jokes
• Unfiltered, blue-collar Baltimore Greek and Irish energy
• Direct, confident, but vulnerable responses to serious life questions

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Closing

• Watch Ryan Sickler’s special, “Live and Alive” on YouTube.
• Keep an eye out for Stavros’s upcoming Dreamboat tour and his appearance in the Emma Stone/Jesse Plemons film "Begonia."
• Look forward to future Stavi’s World holiday episodes—more costumes promised!
• Concluding riff: “Maybe next year, McDonald's Halloween.” ([111:06])

Transcript

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[B]

Hello, folks. Big announcement here on Stavi's World. The Dreamboat tour is continuing. We're hitting a lot of the markets we didn't hit last time. This year it's continuing in 2026. We're coming to Florida. Finally. We're going to Philly, Jersey. Big show at Radio City here in New York City. Buffalo, Ohio, Kentucky, Iowa, Illinois, Atlanta, West Virginia, all over the place. We're going to Fort Wayne, Indiana, a place I swore I never would perform again. But hey, sometimes you're on a tour bus and you need to add something to keep the to make money to fuel the bus on an off day. Detroit, Rochester, Providence, Milwaukee. We missed a bunch of go a bunch of dates go to Stavi Biz. Get your tickets now. And of course we're still coming this fall. We still have some tickets for we're going to Memphis, we're going to Huntsville. We have Boston tickets, a few left, a very small amount of Austin, Texas tickets left. So we're very excited for the Dream Boat tour to keep rolling. Please buy your tickets. And of course I am in an actual huge movie that comes out on Halloween nationwide. Begonia, starring Emma Stone and Jesse Plemons. Your boy is in it for a few scenes. If you've ever wanted to see your your a podcast host in a movie with legends for some reason, go watch it. It's a great movie. You're going to love it. I'm very proud and feel very lucky to be in it. And if you like me on podcasts, hopefully you've liked me on tires, you've liked me at. Let's start a cult. You like me as an actor, Go check this out. This is actually a huge, huge moment in my career in life. It's kind of insane and it's really funny to plug it second after my tour dates in a Winnie the Pooh onesie. I'm now realizing, well, anyway, enjoy this episode with our dear pal Ryan Sickler and happy Halloween. We'll see you on tour and we'll see you at the cinema. Guitar comes In. Should we just listen to this song? Welcome, Everybody, to Stavi's World. 904, 800 STAV call in. We'll solve all your problems. Welcome to Halloween week. It's spooky. We're not spooky. We're wholesome. Isn't that right, Eldis? Put on your. Put on your. Oh, how dare you, man. There he is. Eeyore, eldest.

[C]

Oh, I get pussy.

[B]

No.

[C]

How Eeyore talks.

[B]

No. Oh, my God, you're lying. You don't get any.

[A]

No wonder you're miserable.

[B]

Oh, no. Fuck. Is that even what Winnie the Pooh sounds like? Oh, Paul the. I don't know. Anyway, it's Halloween. We're all Winnie the Pooh up. And we have on the couch our good pal, Ryan Sickler. Baltimore Zone.

[A]

Thank you, guys. Thank you. I'm fired.

[B]

He actually had no idea. He was just dressed like this.

[A]

Yeah, it was a really happy.

[B]

It was a very happy coincidence.

[A]

I'll listen. I'm telling you. I told you. This is soft. It's. These are actually quality.

[B]

These are pretty good.

[A]

I feel nice and warm and cozy.

[B]

That's what. That's what we want.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

That's what we shoot for here.

[A]

This might be the first time I've done a podcast in socks.

[B]

In socks.

[A]

I'm thinking about.

[B]

I'm not even. I can't even. I've done hundreds of podcasts. Barefooted or in socks.

[A]

You think more without footwear or something.

[B]

It's creeping up.

[A]

Very.

[B]

I mean, come down. I probably wore shoes most of the time, I would guess. Although I don't know. There's no video evidence. I don't really remember. We. We did that at either Nick or Adam's house and a couple times at my place. So it's possible, but definitely. Stavi's world has been a mostly shoeless affair.

[A]

I like it.

[B]

Mostly shoeless affair. Good man. Feel free. And yes, we are. We are dressed as Winnie the Pooh. Wholesome characters against this satanic holiday of Halloween. We're rebranding as a born again Christian podcast. Ryan, what do you think? What do you think, El? Is that a good look for us?

[C]

I think that makes a lot of sense for what people expect from. From you, from the show.

[A]

It seems like a natural shift. Yeah.

[C]

Very wholesome.

[B]

Yeah. Staying being anti conservative, but pro extreme Christianity. We're. We're those weird Catholics that are also like hippies or whatever. You remember those. Like, there's like that kind of religious person. But.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, we're not Doing any of that. And we love Halloween. We play. Listen, take your tits out. It's one of the most tits are out holidays, One of our favorites. It's almost become a little overplayed how much it's about, you know, the slutty X, you know, when did that occur? Was Halloween always slutty, do you think? Or did it. Has it become sluttier in recent years? Ryan, what do you think? As are you. Well, in fact, I would love to get into some of your old school Baltimore Halloweens. You know, I'm sure. I'm sure you experienced some insane stuff.

[A]

Well, I'll go back to your slutty things. Please. The slutty cops and nurses and all that. I feel like it's been a couple decades.

[B]

That's a classic.

[A]

I feel like it's been about the 2000s.

[B]

The 2000s.

[A]

But if you're older. How old are you now?

[B]

I'm 36.

[A]

All right, so I'm 52. If you're a little older.

[C]

It.

[A]

It wasn't like that.

[B]

Okay, this is good.

[A]

There was absolutely a shift. I can't put my finger on the date.

[B]

Oh, this is interesting.

[A]

I feel like it was the turn of the century, right?

[B]

Right after Y2K. Everyone was happy.

[A]

The computers was like, hey, we did make it.

[B]

You know what I mean? It. This.

[A]

This bunker over here.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, let's dump them out.

[A]

And everyone just got. That's their reason to be slutty.

[B]

More of a child's. How, like, adults really didn't give a.

[A]

About how. I don't ever remember my parents or any of our friends. Parents throwing Halloween parties or like, you know, Aunt Janice showing up with her titties out, you know what I mean? Bobbing for Apple. That never happened. It was always. So it's the equivalent or treat event, right? That's trick or treat based or, you know, I'll tell you what we did. Please, can I just say my special. Of course, of course, please. Because I'm gonna.

[B]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[A]

Yes, Go watch my special live and alive streaming on my YouTube now, please. Go watch it now.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, it's out now. It's on YouTube. We'll link to it. We should say you also almost died. There's a lot of interesting stuff to talk about, but let's get into that. Let's get into when Halloween turns slutty.

[A]

I'm here for Halloween I'm here for Halloween Go watch the special. Support it, share it, subscribe to the Huddy do the Way Back. All my pods Ryan, on all your social media, one thing we. I just told my daughter about this too because the now there's like I'm in la, so Universal Studios will do a fright Night or these amusement parks will be not Scary Farm and all that. We didn't have that back. Maybe you guys went. But back in Maryland we used to go to this place out in Tawny Town. You know Tawnytown? You heard of Tawnytown? There was a haunted barn.

[B]

Yeah, I know about this. I went one time.

[A]

You did?

[B]

I was not a big haunted. I'm a scaredy cat. I'm not like I wasn't a horror movie guy growing up. I've become one now. My way in was actually it's looking at you.

[A]

I would never think you weren't a horror.

[B]

I have horror movie. I have the horror movie body type. Absolutely, absolutely. The hairline came recently. That's interesting. Once I grew up, once I had this hairline, I did become a horror movie guy. Maybe it is just sort of natural. Once you start looking like this, you can't fight it. But honestly, ironically enough, the thing that got me into Halloween, into scary movies was the kitschy 70s, 80s slutty Halloween movie which did pre. Maybe was a little harbinger of things to come because even though it was a child's holiday, there was a type of cinema. Maybe that's what started it. Once like, once like, you know, the genre became horny and became sort of like what's the big. The first big hit? Like, well, this night we're on Friday.

[A]

The 13th became like, yeah, that was kind of a camp. And then there's titties coming out and everything.

[B]

But he was Friday the 13th. Wasn't there tits in that?

[A]

The first, the very first one when the mom was killing. I don't remember.

[B]

Oh no, no, I'm sorry.

[A]

Was the killer Halloween. Halloween's the all time.

[B]

There's that. There's tits in that, isn't there?

[A]

I believe.

[B]

Yeah. There's at least teenagers having sex. So there's there. Okay. Look up when Halloween came out. Elders.

[A]

Also the horror movies have gone 78.

[C]

The original film includes brief nudity, such as a scene when the female character is seen with bare breasts.

[B]

I remember this. Yes, of course.

[A]

But horror movies these days, I'm not into them because it's gone from the psychological jump scare to just all gross out gore.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Just crazy gore. I'm not into gore. That Halloween, the original one is still that.

[B]

It was tension. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So but anyway, I was Not a big haunted barn, haunted house guy. I was too scared as a child. I was a big, some might say pussy. And in fact I remember our church weirdly did a hollow. A haunted. Which is so funny. Greek people don't give a at all about like, like other churches were like banning Harry Potter. They were saying it's satanic Greek Orthodox, barely a religion. It's really, it's really like no one is that religious. But yeah, we had a haunted house. It was the same room I went to Sunday school in. They like turned the, the hall. They had like a hall underneath the church where they would do the Greek festival. They do a bunch. They did. That's also the place I drank. I got up for the first time at the Greek festival. I felt tits for the first time.

[A]

In the church? Yeah, yeah, in the church, in the church.

[B]

In the church. In the church I felt tits. I think I was 14 or 15 getting really drunk at a Greek festival. Anyway, when I was younger they had a haunted house and I just started punching the guy because I was like, some guy like grabbed me and I was just like, I just assaulted him and I was like screaming and they're like, all right, this kid has to get out.

[A]

But anyway, you cut the lights off, we gotta walk.

[B]

Pretty much, pretty much.

[A]

We went, we would go to the haunted barn every year. And it was just this bullet barn in the middle of nowhere was an amusement, you know what I mean? Which is already even when you drive by on a Wednesday in August, it's a little creepy there. It's creepy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So they, they would do it up and they would have the chainsaw guy at the end and I remember seeing people just trip and fall out of that thing. That was really well done.

[B]

Do you have any notable scares at the haunted house? You just were an enjoyer of it.

[A]

I, I just liked watching the other people get.

[B]

Oh, interesting. You were a scare cuck y voyeur.

[A]

I like to sit there and watch it. One of my favorite all time was this sticks in my head. It was it, it was at Magic Mountain in, in Six Flags in Valencia. And they, they did the park over and there's just people they don't tell you. This is actually pretty cool. You're just walking from and they just jump out of the bushes. You have no nothing. This little tiny black kid. I, I to this day I will never forget. Can I stand up?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

They jumped out of the bushes and the terror like this kid ran in place. Yeah, he couldn't go. He like everything in him was like, get the out of here. But his feet could not go forth.

[B]

Like a Scooby Doo running.

[A]

I laugh so hard at that.

[B]

Where they run. Were they running the air? Almost.

[A]

Yeah. 100.

[B]

That's very funny.

[A]

But I have two brothers, so Halloween was always. We always went out for Halloween, okay? And we had the old school vinyl, like, very flammable Halloween costumes. And it was just a plastic mask with a rubber band around your head. And you get it all in one box at Kmart.

[C]

Sure, sure.

[A]

And Kiss was big then, so. Hell, yeah. It's so funny. I had Gene Simmons on the podcast, and when I met him at my show at the Comedy Store, he had some really nice things to say. And all I could say was, I was you for Halloween. You know what I mean? Like, and we didn't have money. So one year, I'm Ace Freely, you guys switched off. And my brother's G. Simmons, and next year, I'm G. Simmons, and he's 100%. And the vinyl ones, too. And here's the other thing, too. Going back to the slutty and the tradition. Sally change. Like, all of a sudden, one year, parents started driving their kids to trick or treat. Like, what the. This. You hump it up the hill, right? And we would take pillow cases. You earn it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We take a pillowcase, like a real. And fill that.

[B]

There were no specific Halloween bags. No, no, make do.

[A]

It was get your own and go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And. And just the vandalism on Halloween. Halloween vandalism, man. I remember one time, it was like, a house. It was three houses up, and my. My brother was more of a hellion, and our neighbor Jeff was okay. And we're driving to school one day. My dad's taking us to school. And this. This family had these. You know those people that'll get those monster pumpkins? And they put them out, like, look at this.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

They're proud of real pumpkins.

[A]

Real. Like, where you could sit on your family picture. Yeah, yeah. These guys had, like, two of them on their porch the next day going to school. They're pieces. And my dad goes, now, that's a damn shame. And I look at my brother and Jeff, and they are just laughing their ass off, like, out of the house and bash that guy's pumpkin.

[B]

Just the pumpkin up for no reason.

[A]

Right there at the house just to.

[B]

Be a piece with a bat. Were you. Were you ever on any of these mischievous missions?

[A]

Not that one. And I was like. That's when I was like, oh, these are Doing this without me, you know what I mean? One night they went out too. They got caught. I wasn't on this one either, but. And these are the kinds. So I have a twin brother, right? We're fraternal. We look nothing alike. And we're two different people.

[B]

But my brothers are fraternal twins.

[A]

Are they? Yeah. Yeah. So you're my younger brother. I can't imagine having to say that. My brothers are twins.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

What a gay thing to have to tell people.

[B]

I don't mind it. I've never considered. I've never considered it gay to have twins to have twin brothers.

[A]

I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know.

[B]

So wait, you guys were just naturally fraternal twins? Because that happens a lot with ivf.

[A]

We're not. We are products of. So we're born March of 73. So we're products of 1972 fertilization medication. My mom wasn't. Was having trouble, took some kind of pill, splits us. And we're the only twins in the whole family. It is 100 because of that. Wow.

[B]

Some kind of weird proto medicine. Damn.

[A]

I'm the only person that's not six foot in my family. My mom is six foot. Wow.

[B]

You got none of the nutrients in the womb. They hadn't figured that out yet. The meds were like, all right, we'll give you two, but one's going to be a runt. Your mom is taller than you.

[A]

My mom's taller.

[C]

Me, bro.

[A]

My mom get dumped on me, and.

[B]

I'm the one who's gay for having twin brothers. Your mom can back you down in the post.

[A]

She can. She really can.

[B]

That's crazy. Even as a shrinking old lady, she's.

[A]

Taller than you still right now, 70 some years old. She's still taller than me, bro.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[A]

I don't know if she'll ever not be. I'm not gonna get any taller, you know, I mean, I'm about to stick around for a while. She's gotta lose three inches. And then I'm like. And then I Then guess who's coming to dump.

[B]

I've never. Yeah, yeah. She's in the nursing home. You're like, all right, here's some Converses, mom. Let's hit the. Let's hit the. The half court. I've never considered be your mom being taller than you.

[A]

Isn't that why I guess that hap.

[B]

I mean, I guess it happens to women.

[A]

So My dad's like 6 2, okay? My twin brother is about 6 2. My younger brother's about 6 1, and my mom was 6. I'm 5 10. Wow. Yeah.

[B]

That's all right, man. Yeah, that's okay. What are you going to do? And is that why they left you out of the mischief? You were, too. They didn't consider you hardy enough.

[A]

Now, my brother was just my. Here's what my twin brother told me. Yeah. I just did a podcast with him after years and years. He said, look, the reason I never told you is because. And this is key. We had one car. We're twins. We gotta split that car.

[B]

Right?

[A]

I get it this weekend. You get it next weekend. If you get in trouble, I get it. Your weekend. So he left me out of it because he knew I would. He said he thought I'd rat his ass out and get the car. That's what he just told. I was like, that's why.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So he went out one night to vandalize this kid's house up the street, like, two, three houses up on Halloween. And I wake up the next day, and my dad's like, what the. All over these light switches, and he's looking around. He's like, like, what? This is like, syrup or something. And I genuinely. I'm like, I don't know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And then he puts it all together because my brother was very sloppy about. So they went and took Hershey's syrup and ketchup and everything and vandalized this kid's clothes.

[B]

So this is not even, like, egg it or, like, you know, or, like, tp. This is like, how can we. This guy's.

[A]

This is like. It's gonna.

[B]

This isn't Halloween.

[A]

This is. This is Halloween, okay?

[B]

It's not just bully. It's just like, where was that, too?

[A]

This is Halloween, okay? And they. This kid, a Ford Escort, putting ketchup and syrup all over and egging it and. And egg in the house. I mean, we live two doors down, by the way. We're not in another neighborhood. We are your neighbors.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

And my dad figures it all out, and then their parents figure it out. My brother got. He got in so much trouble all the time. And then I would get the car.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Yeah. There you go.

[B]

And what was this kid a piece of. Why did they choose his car? He was annoying.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Nobody liked this kid. He was also the one we got with the classic, classic snowball trick, too. I've never seen it work more beautifully in my life.

[B]

And this. What's the classic snowball?

[A]

That's when you make two snowballs, right? And you throw one in the air and a person's tendency is to look up and that's when that second one right in the.

[B]

I love this.

[A]

And I'm telling you, I've never seen anybody get duped more beautifully. Yeah, my buddy Jeff threw one up and he played for University of Maryland actually, too. He had a rocket. Yeah, he threw one up in the air and that kid looked up at it and when he came back down, bam. I mean, I was like. Busted his face. I was like, wow. Wow, that's.

[B]

I love this, like, classic, almost like Three Stooges style bullying that you guys were engaged.

[A]

We're just middle schoolers. You know what I mean? Today you'll get shot. Sure, today I'll shoot you. But back then we would do that. We would. We'd play football in the cemetery. Like off to the. The grassy area where people weren't buried yet. Something else we used to do. Do you remember Liberty Lake? Hearing about Liberty, like, you know, Pretty boy. The reservoir in Maryland?

[B]

Not really. I wasn't big Elders is more of a reservoir.

[A]

You know, Liberty. You remember Liberty Lake?

[B]

And kind of.

[C]

Was it the one where people always, like, had to break, like, sneak in, Break in. You weren't like, allowed to swim there.

[A]

No, that's Piney Run.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

That's funny you say that though. And lock Raven, too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But Liberty. So also fun little fact. There's no natural lakes in Maryland. Every lake is man made.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Deep Creek. All.

[B]

Really.

[A]

All of them. But Liberty was one we lived near. And there was a bridge that goes over Route 32. And it's a. It. We. We took a tape. I even told my brother. People hit me up on the podcast. It was not 100ft. It was a hundred fucking feet from the Ray. If you stood on the railing of the bridge to that water, it was 100ft, the rafters under, or about 50ft.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And we would all go in the summer and we start, you know, we're swimming there just first. And then you hear the rumor about a kid from the other high school who went. Who jumped off and his. His foot got caught and he drowned. And it was true. And it was true. Yeah, it was true. 100 true. So we started putting bodies in the water. So Stavi's getting ready to jump off the rafters. There's four or five of us treading water out there. If something happens, just in case, we're gonna get okay. Yep.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All teamwork. And we're doing this we're doing it. And then my. My brother and a guy named George Wilk, we can say his name. He. They decide that just jumping off the top, that's not enough. We're all start jumping. Everybody's doing.

[B]

How deep is this thing?

[A]

That's deep as. Dude. It's so deep that when. And I ended up having to do it. But when you go down, the top of the water is super warm in the summer. But when you get into that black down there that you ain't been in before, you start. You start thinking about that kid who's. You start pulling your feet up, like.

[B]

Coming and get you from the depths.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And interesting.

[A]

Everyone's starting to do it now. It's a hangout after school now. We're all going every day after school to see who's going to be the next one to jump off the bridge. And they say that you can get arrested or at least a citation because it can be considered suicide, you know, because you could hurt yourself and you. You gotta wait till cars are gone. No one, they give you a ticket.

[B]

For trying to kill yourself.

[A]

Kill yourself.

[B]

Like, they're like, all right, come to court.

[A]

Wait, wait, your mom starring you. You're good.

[B]

Yeah. It's funny to be like. Like to give somebody who's trying to kill themselves like an annoying errand to run. He'll just kill himself. Like, if I, like, all right, come to court in a month, it's like, how about I just fucking kill myself? I was trying anyway, and you stopped me. What if I just do it, you fucking dumbasses? You know, Eldis, I've been lifting heavier recently at the gym, and my body ain't as spry as it used to be. I'm getting some aches and pains, you know, but I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to be hooked on any. Any kind of medicine that might fuck me up. I need the. I need Mother Gaia's medicine. I need the CBD gummies from cornbread hemp, which are formulated to work with your body, not against it. I hate when something is formulated to work against my body. That does not happen with cornbread hemp. It's important for me to maintain my physical and mental wellness, folks. That's hard. I'm podcasting. I'm in the podcast factory, putting in sometimes 90 minutes, 100 minutes of work in. And I need cornbread hemp CBD gummies to get my wellness singing like a bird. Have you tried everything under the sun for peace of mind? Well, you Gotta try cornbread hemp CBD gummies. I like, I take them at night. They help me relax. They help, you know, they help relieve discomfort, stress, sleeplessness. Sometimes I draw a nice warm bath. I'm on my divorced lady shit. I'm on my middle aged bubble bath. You know, in the 90s, I feel like that was a big trope. Women used to love bubble baths in the 90s. And me, I'm, I'm. I got a little, I got a little, you know, I soak in a nice warm tub. I got the cornbread hemp. I'm feeling good, brother. Right now Stavi's World listeners can save 30 off on their first order. Just head to cornbreadhemp.com stavi and use code stavi at checkout. That's cornbreadhem.com stavi and use coach.

[A]

So I finally go up and there's a friend of mine, Chris Sheeler, and this kid says, I'm gonna do it. And I was like, ain't no way this motherfucker's doing it. You know what I mean? I still friends with him, still love him. And when he would get nervous, he would stutter.

[B]

100Ft. I'm jumping off a bridge into a, like, lake is crazy, dude. That's insane.

[A]

We have a. There's a VHS of this somewhere. We're trying to find it. I, I just saw everybody back home when I was.

[B]

How big was that camera?

[A]

It was, it was vhs.

[B]

Like a used crew. You guys just hanging out, just sitting there, watching nine white boys jumping off bridges.

[A]

Everybody would come from high school. Now the girls are coming and doing it. A couple girls. We had one girl did it. She had to go to the hospital because you got to keep your legs together. She tore her vagina. True story. True story. We still talk about she tore 100ft, bro. She ripped herself a little bit cuz she didn't have her feet together. Which was a lesson for us because we got to watch our balls and everything else.

[B]

Was there any other genital mutilation that occurred?

[A]

No, but this, this we're getting to. It's not gentle though. We're getting there. So now we go up right now when you're in the water and you're looking up, it doesn't look as high up as it does when you're up looking down.

[B]

It just does that down.

[A]

It just doesn't. You see a leaf floating on the water and then you're like, oh, that's way down there.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So we go up and this Other guy comes with us, he's not gonna go. But he's coming because I said, if Sheila jumps, I'm going. He's like, I'm gonna come up to make sure you guys do what I want to watch.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So this guy's just there to be like, you gave me your word. Yeah, I'm a coward.

[A]

He's also.

[B]

But I'm making sure that you guys aren't kidding.

[A]

His defense, he's also probably 17 and 350 some pounds. He's not going over. Right, right, right, right. We don't want him.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

You know, I mean, we're definite. The bridge.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So Sheila's looking over and he. And he starts saying, like, when he would stutter, he would hold a letter. He wouldn't go. He'd hold like a dub. He'd be like, what are we gonna do, man? He'd do it like that. That was his thing. He's like, dad, it's a long way down, man. And I'm like, he ain't going. He ain't going. He's like, I'm in my school clothes. And I said, school clothes? And I look to my right, and when I look back, he's gone. Wow. And I look over, and there he goes. And I'm like, that did it. I wouldn't bet a dollar.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He went. And I was like, he hit that water. He came up. I was like, oh, yeah.

[B]

Now you have to go.

[A]

And I get up there, and I stand there and.

[B]

So wait, he's in his clothes.

[A]

We're all in our school clothes. We're in jeans and what? We went right from school.

[B]

You take your jeans off?

[A]

I didn't bring a spare suit to, you know, we just went to hang. I didn't think I was going to be going, bro.

[B]

Okay, so you're telling me this is just a bridge you walk across sometimes?

[A]

No, this is a drive across bridge. Can you look it up? Look up Route 32, Maryland, Liberty Lake Bridge. You'll see videos of people doing this.

[B]

And so you guys were just on the bridge.

[A]

Stav, you listen to me.

[B]

And you're in your jeans.

[A]

There's no way he's going in my mind.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

He's not good. He's in his jeans, cuz he's up there. Like, I ain't doing. We've been watching it for a month or so. Yeah. And there's no way he's going. But then something. I don't know. The Holy Ghost Got him, I guess. And he just said it. Shoes and everything. And I say shoes. There it is.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that's insane. That's crazy.

[A]

We got. No, that's not the one. That's too far up. Look at. Look at Eldersburg, Liberty Reservoir Bridge, Route 32. Look at that one.

[B]

Either way. So. So you're. He's. So he's dropped.

[A]

He's fully clothed, fully clothed.

[B]

And now you're there, fully clothed, fully clothed. You guys have backpacks.

[A]

There it is off the top of that, though.

[B]

Still crazy.

[A]

So the rafters are there off the tippy top. And that water is higher than when we were in it. That's why it was 100ft and we did it. No backpacks or anything? No, really, just they're in the car parked on the shoulder of the road because you can fish there. So you're allowed to park on the shoulder and all that. You know what I mean? So cars parked really Like a white trash watering 100.

[B]

You park your shitty car, you either like fish or jump off it in jeans. What the is.

[A]

We would jump. When we would go back to swim there and jump off rafters, there was also a place, the Rock. We'd go drink and smoke. We would wear G or our swim trunks and stuff. This was just a day we were going to be just to watch, just hang out, hang out, have fun. And this says, I'm going. And I was like, there's no way you are. So I'm gonna go up there with you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he went and wow. It's.

[B]

So now it's your turn and you're fully closed.

[A]

And I'm no bitch, but I'm on that bridge and I'm a bitch and I'm over the edge. And I'm telling. It took a good three of these.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I kept. Grab myself back, like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I went. I kept my fucking feet together. And you hit so hard that you go down so fucking deep. It's black and it's cold and panicking because you've never been down. Of course you're swimming up. You're like.

[B]

Like, oh, yeah.

[A]

You're so relieved. And then you're stoked. Then you're looking up. Here comes everybody else. And the next day in school with shoes on, the bottoms of my feet were killing me. And so was my ass. Like, I hit. Sit a little bit. We keep going. Now my brother and George Wilk decide it's not enough to jump. We're gonna flip.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

They're gonna Flip off of it.

[B]

That's nuts.

[A]

And we're like, you should definitely got. You guys should definitely go do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we got a camera. They've been talking about it so much. We got a career. My brother's like, I know it's around. Somebody's got. I said, hit up everybody on Facebook and find it. Both of them go up there. And they're in no shirt and swim trunks. Obviously, they're doing this.

[B]

This is planned now.

[A]

And George goes first. And he flips. He goes a little sideways, and he hits hard. He hits hard.

[B]

And he.

[A]

But he comes up, he's okay. Everybody's in the water. He's like. Oh, like, bruised instantly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Here comes my idiot brother. My brother. You know when you're first learning how to do a flip off of just a regular dive and you're scared as a kid and you sort of dive?

[B]

Yeah. I don't know that I've ever done one flip in my.

[A]

Never flipped off a diving board.

[B]

Been a fat child my whole life. I've been fat my whole life. I'm a big cannonball guy. I. I know you'll back me up here. You're also a big cannonball.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

I've never done a flip.

[A]

You've never done a flip off a diving board?

[C]

I don't think I've even ever tried a diving board.

[B]

I have tried a diving board and just immediately, like, belly flopped, but not.

[A]

Even one at, like, the Y, where it's high enough, where all you really have to do is just walk off and fall. You don't even need to flip. You just tumble forward.

[B]

No, I think I've done one like. I've tried it at, like, a friend's pool like, twice, and I've. It's been a disaster.

[A]

Yeah. And you're scared, though.

[B]

Absolutely. First.

[A]

And nobody's going straight out and perfectly over. You sort of. You sort of cheat to the side a little bit. Like when you're a kid and you're learning to. To jump off, you just go. So my brother gets. He's. Fear got him a little bit, and he. When he jumps, he. He flips to the side like that, and immediately he is flailing out of control. I mean, it's not just a nice side tuckwood. It's like his arms are 100ft. He's everywhere. And I mean, the slap that hits the water. Oh, God. We all go in and get him. He comes up. He is. Is immediately spitting up blood. Oh, bro. Immediately blood, bro. Spitting up blood off of this it's.

[B]

Just your guys, fun little after school hangout. And your brother's got internal bleeding.

[A]

He's got internal bleeding. He's spitting up blood. George is all bruised up on this side. I'm like, you guys are idiots. I promise you, no one tried to top it after that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But we would swim there all the time. This is another story I've told. No one believes it, but. But I still am in touch with all these guys. I called my brother after too. I'm like, do you remember that? And he says he interrupted me and finished the story. So we're swimming one day. So off to the side there's a really nice. It's like a 60, 70 foot cliff.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So that one's really fun to run and just jump off.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And we would all do that. The bridge is over here to your right. Now we're off of that. We're over here. We're jumping. Jumping summer jumping.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

We all play around a lot. Oh, snake sharks. Well, one day my brother jumps off and I'm telling you, I swear to God.

[B]

The humble 60 foot cliff.

[A]

The humble 60.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

The baby.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And a water moccasin is coming right at him. I don't know if there's a nest in this.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Below us.

[B]

What are these, like eels? What is this?

[A]

Water moccasins. A black snake. Check these out. Oh, man. Oh, they're poisonous. Listen to that name, bro.

[B]

You are swimming off below a bridge next to a cliff with poisonous snakes around.

[A]

Copperheads are all over Maryland. We have a lot of poisonous snakes in Maryland. Copperheads, you gotta watch.

[B]

And you go to the community pool. Why don't you go to the rec center pool?

[A]

We didn't have the money. Freedom pool was two blocks away. We did not have the money for the community.

[B]

I got you.

[A]

We're swimming in Liberty Lake.

[B]

Yeah. So that's nuts.

[A]

I mean, it's a legit snake.

[B]

So a poisonous water snake is coming for your brother.

[A]

I listen to me all my life.

[B]

I believe.

[A]

True story.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And we're, you know, we're. But we've all, we've all cried wolf.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that looks.

[A]

And they haul ass across the water like they're water mock, I hate in their name swim.

[B]

That's.

[A]

Oh, and they can swim good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, not just like a. You're like, oh, I didn't know iguanas could swim. This rocketing towards your brother, it's coming for him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we're, you know, we're telling Him. And he doesn't believe it. We've cried wolf so many times for. For months.

[B]

Right, right, right. Whatever.

[A]

He's treading and hanging out, waiting. And we're like. And then he turns around, he sees it. He starts swimming. There's no way he's getting away.

[B]

He's not gonna beat an aquatic snake.

[A]

Jeff Wagner. Same kid that played for University of Maryland who also got the kid with the snowball.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Takes a rock. Rock a flat. Like a good skipping rock.

[B]

This is nuts.

[A]

This is a true goddamn story. And he throws it at that snake, and all my life. Cut that snake in half.

[B]

In half, in half. Come on.

[A]

Listen to me, bro.

[B]

Then Paul Bunyan came behind the cliff.

[A]

Floated right to the ground. On my life, and I almost died. Go watch my special. Live and alive. All my life that happened.

[B]

But that is hilarious.

[A]

I mean, I wish I could say I did that, but we're all looking at.

[B]

You're just there.

[A]

There's no way.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then he went on to play University of Maryland after that. And it made sense. It made sense. I'm like, this guy's got a arm. He was the guy. We take the King's Dominion. You ever go to King's Dominion?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah. And he'd throw the radar gun at the end of the day, and he beat whatever the score was. And then we bounce out of there with, like, an oversized stuffy. It was always. He was that guy. And we. We learned the hard way that, you know, if you win that, you got to carry that thing all day. Right, right, right. They're like, no, you don't. And pick it up. So then we would do that when.

[B]

We would leave at the end.

[A]

And then we're rolling out in the big ass. Winnie the Pooh in the car.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And who was that for? What did you guys. What. What utility did you get out of that?

[A]

I have no idea what he ever did with any of that.

[B]

Like, six hanging out, like. All right, fellas, time for a nightcap. Let's go win us a giant stuffed animal.

[A]

That was just all ego. That's all, dude. Ego. What is it? It's 92. I got that. And he would get up there and beat that.

[B]

That's awesome. I mean, that is honestly a white trash Maryland folk hero.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Lord, kill a snake with a rock.

[A]

He did.

[B]

And then go. Would he play baseball? Maryland. And then play baseball in Maryland?

[A]

Third base.

[B]

That's a legend right there. That's a guy that doesn't have to pay for His. His drinks in Essex at the hard Yacht.

[A]

The American legions.

[B]

I promise you, the American legions. Across southeastern Baltimore County.

[A]

We used to get in a lot. So when I. When we. When we finally left the. We moved to Carol. Well, we bounced around. But when we finally settled in Sykesville, we lived by train tracks, and our buddy Chris Lamb, lived a couple miles away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we don't have cars then. If it's winter, you're not riding your bike.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So we would go down to the train, and we would hop on the train. We catch. Come on, man.

[B]

You guys are hobo, right? You're hopping trains locally. You're using it like a tram.

[A]

Please look up Sykesville, Maryland, train stations.

[B]

So to hang out, you're like, all right, man.

[A]

Normally. Normally, summer or whatever, we ride our bike. It's a couple miles, so we're not walking.

[B]

So you know the train schedules.

[A]

Here's the deal. Yeah, it goes right through his backyard.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He had a house.

[B]

Oh, my God, you're so poor. You can use. It's like. It kind of turns around where it's like, you live in a good enough area with public transit to.

[D]

To.

[B]

You're so poor, you live through. The train cuts through your property. So you can use it as public transit.

[A]

I could say this address outlet. There it is right there. There's a train station right there. But it's a lot of cargo.

[B]

They're coming through. All of it's cargo. I know.

[A]

Those are not.

[B]

I mean, listen, your trains. Greek Town is literally.

[A]

I was gonna write by 308 South Macon Street. Where my aunt Marguerite lived out back was the trains. My cousins would roll under them while they're moving. And I'd be like, what are you doing? They put rocks on it, and it would roll over. And I was like, oh, big rocks. I'm like, is that gonna derail that train? And then it will crush it in the dust. I've never seen anything like it.

[B]

Dude. Remember Elders? Do you remember my. Because, yeah, we grew up right by those train tracks.

[A]

My brother, I used to play on him.

[B]

He put. He posted like an Instagram story about, like, should I go? Should I, like, follow the train or should I hop the train or something like that? And he. It was like a. It was like a yes. No. It was like an Instagram post poll, and my mom voted no. He said something, hinting about killing himself on the train. And my mom didn't call him. She wasn't like, are you okay? She was just like, no. And my brother sent it to our group chat. It was one of the funniest fucking things. I think my mom was like, I don't think. I don't think he's serious, but let me just vote.

[A]

No.

[B]

It was very funny.

[C]

That's. That's how beaten down your mom is from, like, decades of just, like, getting trolled by these three boys.

[B]

Getting trolled by us, for sure. She was like, no, don't.

[A]

One of my favorites is when you came on the pod and you told the story about how proud she was and everything. And then when someone said, what's the name of the show? She would go, come down.

[B]

It's called Calm Down. Yeah. She was like, stavros doing good. Him and his friends have a radio show. She would call. She called it a radio show back then. I mean, this is when it first, like, when we were making, like, just. It was just. I didn't need another job. And it was like we were making. I was making like two grand a month or whatever, which is fucking great. You know, it just started. And she was instantly bragging, and then she was like, eh, it's clearly she's stalling because her friend on the other line asked her, what's it called? She's like, it's. It's called Come town.

[A]

Listen. I tell everybody when they. Anyone that comes to me for advice about pods or anything, I go, listen to me. Do whatever the you want. Don't listen to managers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Don't listen to agents. Stavros had a podcast called Cometown.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And if they would have told anyone they were doing that, that everyone would have said, no, you're not gonna.

[B]

Of course I didn't think it was a good idea. And boom, whatever. I was just like, who cares?

[A]

Look, what matters is the fucking content.

[B]

Well, I just thought podcasts were over. But hey, here we are ten years later in Winnie the Pooh outfits. Not only are they not over, Eldis somehow has a career because of it. Just my dumb friend who I was roommates with when the podcast started.

[C]

Podcast Baby.

[B]

El, this is the biggest podcast zealot there is.

[C]

I'm all for it.

[B]

I. The other very. So, I mean, we've. We've talked about. Your upbringing has been very funny. But the thing you just mentioned, just offhand, without even thinking it was interesting, was that you had McDonald's curtains and McDonald's bed sheets, which is a level. Again, a level of poverty that I didn't even think. Like, I was like, well, I'm sure I know those existed, I guess, but, like, did you get them from a reward. Did you have enough fucking nuggets?

[A]

Go, fuckers.

[B]

Nuggets.

[A]

That you got it. I never even thought of. Okay. These are all your mom feed you.

[B]

Quarter pounders Enough that we're like.

[A]

So I have a podcast also called the Way Back, where we sit in the back of the old school station wagon that faces traffic. And it's just a quick 30 minute nostalgia podcast. And I've talked about these bed sheets and everything, and we've looked them up so you can see that they are a real thing.

[B]

Yeah, I believe that they're real.

[A]

One year, my dad got transferred from. He was working at national and bwi. We got transferred to Houston.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

So we're living in Houston.

[B]

All of you, the whole family.

[A]

Whole family go to a place called Spring, Texas, outside of Houston for just one year. Now Texas is important to me because it's brutal. That's where I learned how to swim. That's where I learned how to climb trees. I got that scar right there. Texas was important for me as a boy.

[C]

Right.

[A]

But.

[B]

And how old are you? Like 10 or.

[A]

No, no, we're. We're like four. Oh, wow. We're young.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And my dad, they hate it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So they moved back to Maryland. Okay. So that's our one year there. But down there is where my brother and I. So we're twins. So we got matching. It's not just one. Yeah, it is matching McDonald's bed sheets and curtains. That's what we have.

[B]

And you guys were big McDonald's guys.

[A]

You're like, I have no idea. We were four. We weren't big McDonald's guys at all. Like, I don't understand why, but.

[B]

Because I had Aladdin. You said, for example.

[A]

You did.

[B]

I did, but I loved Aladdin. I was a little kid who.

[A]

But they were already marketing, like, McDonald's. Think about. This is 70. This is definitely, like late 70s. It's not even the 80s.

[B]

Okay. And one of the first great American brands.

[A]

They did a great job. You even said, next year maybe we'll do McDonald's characters.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But they had. I mean, we used to have plates.

[B]

This is the. The dawn of Grimace. Yeah, dawn of the Hamburg characters.

[A]

They had a plate. I still had a plate. I still remember it in my head. It was. It was Ronald McDonald and grimace on it, and Ronald was raking fall leaves and. Or maybe Grimace was. And Ronald was playing in him or something. There were these plastic plates.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they had. They had. If you remember, too, when Cal was breaking the street. McDonald's had the special glass. Like, McDonald's has been good at their shit for a while. We legit had pillowcases, bed sheets, and curtains at that.

[B]

Did you eat a lot of McDonald's as a. When you were 4?

[A]

Later. Later.

[B]

So at the time, it was just about the iconography, I guess.

[A]

My mother must have been in the. McDonald's. Had to be her.

[B]

That's.

[A]

So it had to be. It doesn't make any sense.

[B]

I mean, McDonald's was our, like, definitely. That was our growing up.

[A]

That was our tree.

[B]

That was our tree, right? Yeah. You or you were Burger King.

[A]

We.

[C]

We love McDonald's. We would do McDonald's Fridays all the time.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[C]

But we love Burger King too.

[B]

Sure. You dabbled in way more fast food than as a youth.

[C]

I think so.

[B]

Because you were a Taco Bell guy. You were a Burger King guy.

[C]

Yeah, we never did like Popeyes or, like chicken places.

[B]

Popeyes was. That's where the Halkis family shines. Yeah, that was. That was our number one fast. Well, we were McDonald's kids as youths, very young. Because also, I feel like when a family friend would take you, you know, when, like, somebody would watch you, like your, you know, you know, those aunts and uncles that you're not related to at all, but it was just like, like your mom's friend. I feel like the go to thing when you're like watching an 8 year old for your friend for the day is you take him to McDonald's, you take him to the mall, and you take him to McDonald's. But once we were able to make our own decisions, we were a hugely Popeyes family. And then it became ordering pizza. I've mentioned it before. The Domino's 555 deal came around right when me and my brothers were like 12 and 14, respectively. It was right when my mom was like, all right, I'll leave you guys alone. And truly, maybe the. Some of the best days of my life are like, mom's gone. Me and the fellas got the AC blasting. It's like when you're not fighting with your brothers when you're kids and you're like, wow, this guy's. These guys aren't so bad. We're watching Yu Gi Oh. Or whatever the fuck, and we're each ordering our own p. There's no fighting anymore because it's 5, 5, 5. Everyone gets their own pizza legitimately. Some of the best days of my life are like, July's July. Like Wednesdays in Baltimore, when I'm like, when my mom just let us stay there and we could get, you know, the five, five, five deal.

[A]

Can I. Can I give you another white trash tip for all you out there for these five, five, five deals or these two for ones. Now, you can only do this once, okay. At each main chain. Okay. Unless you move.

[B]

Okay. All right, I think I know where you're going, but give him.

[A]

You can only burn it once. And we used to do that. We moved so much. We bounced around so fucking much. And also from the time I'm 16, my dad dies, my mom's already gone. So from the time we're 16 on, there's no parents, and we're scraping to do anything we can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what we would do for the 5, 5, 5 is we would order the 5, 5, 5, and then we'd eat one of them. And then we would call and we'd say, hey, there's hair all over this pizza. And they would say, we are so sorry. Yep. Okay.

[B]

So there's like a. To some kind of. Some kind of meal deal.

[A]

Domino's is great customer service.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We learned about this. You start figuring out who's Domino's now.

[B]

I'm sorry, I don't mean to. Again, we have generational divide here a little bit. The 555 deal was around when you were a kid, too.

[A]

It might have been the two.

[B]

Some kind of something.

[A]

There's always a deal.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Some kind of two for something like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. But it was a three pizza thing. I don't know if it was five, five, five. And it might have been buy two, get one or whatever.

[B]

Yes. They. They were big on the buy to get, which probably mathematically the same thing, but in my head, I'm like, well, no. 555, that's. Come on, Ryan, please.

[A]

So do you remember the noid? Were you around marketing?

[B]

Okay, I remember him. Yes. A very annoying.

[A]

And also. That's right. And Domino's had the 30 minutes or it was free, and then a driver had an accident, and they were like, that shit's over. Right, right. And then it could take as long as they want. Yeah, yeah. But we would call and say, there's hair all over this pizza. And they would say, we are so sorry. We're gonna send another driver out. Well, the first time, we were just expecting one pizza. Nah, Domino's matches the deal. We got six pizzas. Six for the price of whatever you're paying. Okay.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

But you can't keep doing that at Domino's.

[B]

I feel like now that.

[A]

But you know who we call next Uber Reach.

[B]

You could be like, hey, my driver raped me. I didn't get my. I didn't get my nuggets. And the driver put a baton up my ass. And they're like, here's five eighty. Well, you didn't answer your phone. We called. We did a courtesy call and you didn't answer it. So legally we don't have to do anything. But here's 20% off of like a yogurt smoothie or whatever. Now customer service is completely out the door. Yeah, the 80s.

[A]

I don't know if it's working anymore.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But they would send out whatever the deal was.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

You're getting whatever you paid for again. And they would look like they could go in a commercial.

[B]

Yeah. And I.

[A]

When I was living with my Aunt Marguerite, she was the one. I told you the suede Rite Aid and became a millionaire. Yes, yes. And went. Said we had a great episode, by.

[B]

The way, for everybody. We. We did an episode with Ryan back. We should. We should on. On our Patreon where we really got in some incredible white trash.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like one of the first. It was like a year, year and a half ago, but some great. Some really great stuff. You know, I know some obviously tr. I mean, your life is. You're one of the most positive guys who had tragedy stalk him.

[A]

Like, why I didn't want to wear Eeyore today, bro.

[B]

You really are incredibly positive for, like all the unfortunate things that keep happening, man.

[A]

I'm trying. Literally.

[B]

We just didn't talk about how you just died. Like, you were. It's insane where you were just like fine one day, like you were dealing with some minor health stuff and then you're just almost like. I just see a post where you're like, I'm almost. I almost died. Like, can you just. I know you've talked about a ton, but just to give the people a little taste and a little. A little quick one and then, you know, we'll take some calls. But, you know, live and Alive is the special. And then what. What? Give us just a little. What exactly happened?

[A]

As I look back over my life, I have actually highlighted my low life bites. That's what my honeydew for. And it's just happened. So this special is very different. My last special, if we're being straight up honest, we're in a YouTube world. For me, I had a bunch of stuff out there that I didn't own or whatever. So the first part of it's a little bit of what I wanted to put on that I never had. And then the second part is becoming a single dad and some really good stories and stuff. And YouTube demonetized it because they said I glorified cannabis. So go. Just click on that one. Wow. Click on that one and give. We're close to a million. We're like 950, 000.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have an email saying that I glorified cannabis.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I did.

[B]

So you do love smoking weed. To a degree. Yeah. That is astounding, how functional you are.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I think every time we've ever done anything, whether it's a pod anything, you're just. I've. Every time I've seen you, you're like finishing up a joint. You're constantly like, okay, yeah, yeah, you know, I'm putting it out and about to do something.

[A]

That's all. It's kept me sane. It's all that's kept me san a big drugs guy. Weed.

[B]

Is it like they take weed away from you, become the most violent?

[A]

Well, that's what I was worried about.

[B]

Of all time, probably.

[A]

I've had to quit for a while before when. When my daughter's mother and I split, I thought she was going to take me to court and I thought I was going to be tested. So I stopped smoking weed for a while and then I was like, you ain't taking me to court. And she goes, no, I was like, I had to smoke to get the rid of that anxiety. We're good, we're good.

[B]

Okay, then you don't get. Because, dude, I've been bound like weed. I do, like when I'm working a lot. It's a nice thing to kind of. When I'm in a good place mentally and I'm like, working, it's a nice kind of level me out. But like, anytime I have any worries and I smoke weed, I'm just in a fucking. Like I've spent the last couple days being like, oh, you're fucked. You're a fucking idiot. Just for no reason. I'm just busy and I have a couple things to finish up. And I'm like, you're never gonna finish it. You're a fucking dumbass. You know what I mean?

[A]

Like.

[B]

You'Re gonna die, you're too fat, whatever, you know, it's like you're not taking your life seriously. Just anytime I have a single worry and I smoke weed, it's the worst drug of all time for me. Now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But for you, you're good. You don't get any.

[A]

My Lexa Pro. Yeah, but, but I will say going through really heavy. Not just a little simple, but heavy. Like when I was splitting up with my daughter's mom and I'm, I'm losing my daughter and also becoming a single dad. And I barely smoked during that because that it would make me spy.

[B]

Sure, that's good.

[A]

I'm like, she's gonna have a boyfriend over there and he's gonna fucking burrow. You know. And you just start going into these like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Rabbit holes in your mind. You don't want to. So I definitely pump the brakes when I'm going through serious. But the hospital stuff, I went in for a. What I was told was a three hour back surgery. Simple was the word that was used.

[B]

I know, I remember. I remember your post being like, hey, everything's cool. Just a very routine thing. And literally because it's a very. Because you know, you just see your friends posting like medical shit. You're like, oh, that's good, I'm glad, whatever. And then it went from like, it was almost like you like gotta get a root canal. Then you just like someone shows a picture of like every tube in the world in your face. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? I was freaked the fuck out, dude. I remember that because it was such a, it was just a jarring thing.

[A]

It was man, it. And this is, look, I'm gonna say.

[B]

And that's gotta feel bizarre because you're just going under because like, you know, we've all been under anesthesia and you just give up control and then you wake up.

[A]

If you wake up and something and.

[B]

Then you wake up to. And you have no control over what just happened. So that must have been a surreal feeling to be like, huh. This doesn't feel like I just had a three hour back surgery. You know what I mean? Like, what did that feel like coming to?

[A]

Well, it went differently. So I will, I, I. The whole day was an ordeal. I was supposed to go in for my surgery at 10am There was a leak from a pouring down rain in one of the ORs. So they were like, we got to do them all out of this. I don't go until like 6pm wow. So when I wake up, nobody's there but like these nurses that want to get me the out of the hospital and I refuse to go until I can piss on my own and they're trying to shove a catheter in my dick cuz they want to go home. And I'm like, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. I should have been here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At 10am and done. And I would have plenty of time to piss. I don't care. And I. They would not let me go. And I was like, well, not going home till I piss. And I pissed.

[B]

Respect.

[A]

But when I go home over the weekend, the doctor had given me a number and said, you know, send me some photos if there's anything weird. And all of a sudden, the scar area started, like, bubbling up. So he said, okay, you. You could be bleeding back there if he said now instead. Because when you actually have back surgery, the first thing they want you to do is get up and move.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

And what I had already known. This is why I want to say, be your own advocate in there. I have a blood disease called fact laden, which is what killed my dad and my grandma. But I find out when I clot at 42 and almost die.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

It's six months of. You might have leukemia and lymphoma. Guess when I'm not smoking weed. Guess when I'm not going. Oh, my God, do I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I find out I have this genetic blood disease. And I. It's in all my pre op paperwork. I am telling everyone to the point where the surgeon said, man, you're really worried about that, huh? I said, I am. So he bought me these little cuff that to pump your calves. They don't do anything. So the. The bubble continues to fill. And he says, all right, I need you to come back in, and we're gonna open you back up and fix you. You could have coughed when you came out of. Right. You know, anesthesia could have been anything, but it's a simple fix. Okay. But what he told me to do during the weekend was lay down, because that could go down on its own if you rest. But it doesn't. So I go back, I have another surgery, they fix me. Me. And again, it's lay here and rest. And I am just saying, I can't lay still. I can't. And day after day, I lay still. And I'm begging them. Can't lay still. You're fine. You're. I'm not fine. They finally move me. You'll. You'll appreciate this. The night they're telling me I'm going home on Monday, it's the Sunday night we're playing the Bengals, when Snoop reached the ball over the goal line and they knocked it out of his hand and ran it back, even though it was A block in the back on Andrew.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That'S the night. And I go, you know what? I'll just stay here. I'm leaving tomorrow, right? And they're like, you should just go up to your own room anyway. And thank God I do. So I go up that night during halftime. I don't want to miss any of the games. And then I see that, and I'm going now, and I'm going, oh, this can't be good. I'm watching that guy run.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The bad omen.

[A]

So the next morning, I'm allowed to go home. But I can't go home until the occupational therapist makes me do a couple tests and then I can go home. Home. Now, the night before that, they finally came to get me up off the bed and said, look, you've been laying here for days. We just need you to sit up. And if you can sit up without getting dizzy or anything, we can do a couple little exercises. And when I sat up, I was dizzy as. And they go, okay, we're not gonna do it. I go, let me sit a minute. They go, no, no, you don't understand. Just listen to us. We'll do it tomorrow. So the next day, the occupational therapist comes and she's like, okay. All this plays at such a big part because I would have gone home one day earlier if I didn't have stairs to my apartment. I had to stay one extra day to prove I could walk upstairs. Yep. So the lady comes in, she makes me. And I'm not kidding you when I say she gets me on a walker and makes me just do like a Little Senior Citizen360. She goes, okay, your balance is good. And she goes, the stairwell is locked. So I brought this. It was like a little four step stairs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know. And she goes, I want you to just go up and down this a few times. Time. Show me you can go up and downstairs. And that morning when I woke up, I felt weird. I felt 100 weird. And prior to that, actually at like 4 in the morning, I woke up. And I'm telling you, Stavi, a black figure is touching my big toe.

[B]

Oh, no, dude, it's shaking it.

[A]

What the shaking this toe right here at the end of my bed, just a ghostly black. Not even. It didn't look like a person, just a. Just a blob. And it shook my toe and it went that way.

[D]

Way.

[A]

And I went to sleep.

[B]

And I was like, you went to sleep?

[A]

I went back to sleep. But I'm also Dilaud.

[B]

It out of my mind, you know.

[A]

I'm having the worst nightmares and I'm freaking the out, like I'm not supposed to be here.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

You know what I mean? I'm not supposed to be here. But it's okay because it's only been a few days, and I'm going home tomorrow.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then I go up and down that little stair thing, and the lady. It's like a sitcom, she goes, as your occupational therapist, I can tell you that you've just passed all the necessary steps and you can go home today. And I, like Fred Sanford grabbed my chest and I said, I'm clotting. And she said, what? I said, I'm clotting. I collapse on my bed.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I don't see anything after this. I hear she runs out. She gets someone. The surgeon comes in and he says, sir, what's going on? I said, I'm clotting. He said, how do you know? I said, it's happened to me before. And I told me I wasn't, and thank God I passed. I said, yeah. He's like, what's it feel like, an elephant on your chest? I said, it feels like there's three of them on my chest. And he said, do you feel any heart attack symptoms? And I said, no. And then a second later, I said, oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I said, my jaw, my left arm, the. You always hear, yeah, yeah. And he said, sir, you might be clotting and having a heart attack. Oh. And then that was it. I black out.

[B]

Holy.

[A]

That's. That's death for me if I don't wake up. And I talk about all this in the special, too. And when I wake up, up, this is what I say in the special, too. They tell me I have massive pulmonary. Pulmonary embolisms, and they've gone through my heart. My heart is twice its size.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

And normally they can do a surgery where they go in your groin, vacuum that out. But because of the blood disease I have, they tell me doing that could make me a vegetable.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So I have to go old school, which starts with intravenous blood thinner transitioning to a needle transitioning to me taking an oral tablet before I can even leave the hospital. And they tell Me these next 48 hours are touch and go and you should call some people. So I gotta call my daughter's mother and tell her I might die in here. I gotta call my business manager, Roy. Thank you, Roy. I was like, you need to call everybody and tell them. I said, remember when we were joking about this, I was like, just got real, bro. Bro.

[B]

Holy.

[A]

And I end up being in there for three weeks.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

And this is what I'm saying. I'm talk about this in the special. I'm not in there because I'm not eating right or taking care of myself or smoking too much or drinking too much. I'm in there because they wouldn't listen to me and they up and they almost kill me. And I am. I have surgeon after surgeon. My one surgeon cried. He came in crying for me. I was like, this ain't good.

[B]

Yeah, doctor crying.

[A]

What are you about to say? He's like, you're not supposed to.

[B]

To be here.

[A]

I was like, yeah, but. You going to say anything else? He's like, no, I'm just. Sorry. I'm like, okay, thank God. But it wasn't on him, you know, it was on the. The care and keeping of me.

[B]

You got any lawsuit on your hands?

[A]

No, I looked into it. But here's the deal. There's two things. I don't want to spend two or three, four years of my life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Going down to LA Court for what, in the end, $3,000 after, it's all. Who knows?

[B]

I don't know about three.

[A]

But, you know, here's the thing. I looked into it and what would have to happen is I would have to get their peers to say, yeah, they up. And they're never gonna do that because some point they're gonna up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you got to get them to go against them for me to have any kind of legitimate expert to speak on my behalf. And they're not doing that.

[B]

Has the Dark Specter visited you since?

[A]

Nah, bro.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Want to hear something wild, though?

[B]

Yeah, please.

[A]

I'm at. It was a Night at the Comedy Store. Actually, no, I went to see, you know, the rapper Prof. Prof. Prof. He's great. He's out of Minnesota.

[B]

No, great.

[A]

I've had him on the pod a few times. He's right up our alley. He's big into comedy and everything. He's a. He's great. Check him out. And he was performing at the Roxy and right next door is the Rainbow. So I went. Kim Congdon came and Sarah Weinshank. The three of us went, went. They did a. They. They were in one of his videos and stuff. I think after, maybe I do know this guy. He's a white dude. He's a white dude. And.

[B]

Oh, good, good.

[A]

And we go to the Rainbow and we're just sitting There after. And have you ever been in there? I don't think it's like a shrine to Lemmy from Motorhead. It's in it, but it's one. It's known to be haunted.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

This weird lady and she's got like this. It's a white lady, older, with like just gypsy clothes on. And. And she's got this little black dude behind her, like a minion dude's looking down at the ground. He doesn't say anything. And he is. He's following her like this, like backpacking her, you know, and she's got a red feather. And she's walking around the whole place and she's just touching. With this red feather. We're minding our business. Out of nowhere somewhere. Here she is petting my face with this red feather. I said, what the is. First of all, like, is that from your parrot? What the are you doing? Yeah, I go, lady, get the off me. What are you doing? She just doesn't say anything. She's pet me with this red feather. Fast forward a few weeks later, I'm clotting and I'm like, did this curse me? You think she cursed some people? Go, I think she saved you. I'm like, this cursed me. My ain't no saved.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Went over and red redded me all up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I clapped lot.

[B]

I do think you probably have some kind of up relationship with the occult. I think like there's either a curse or there's spirits or there's something around and it's just very. Which is a very funny concept of just like a nice. Like an awesome dude who's just like, has evil spirits around him, but you're so positive you keep them at bay. That's my working theory about you.

[A]

That's nice because you. When I was at my low. You know what's funny? When I'm at my lowest, that's also when people I don't talk to anymore tend to test next. You know what I mean? Like people from your past that are just like, hope you're good. And I'm laying in the hospital, but they don't know it. I'm like, interesting dark powers.

[B]

Some. Some things at some. Some forces are brewing. But you've kept them at bay this long. I wonder if there has any. Let's see. Let's. We have any questions about the occult?

[C]

Eldest or very interesting you should ask?

[B]

Yeah, let's see. Very good. Let's see what we got here. Ryan might be just the guy.

[D]

Hey, Stoppy baby. Eldest Esteemed guest. First time, long time. Just want your perspective on something. So me and my fiance recently bought a house. We're both millennials. The only reason we were able to buy this house is because of what a good deal it was.

[A]

And a lot of people in the.

[D]

Town we're moving to, as well as, you know, a lot of our friends, co workers, family and stuff, kind of think we're nuts for going with the the house. Anyway, just wondering your perspective. So turns out about three years ago there was a really high profile murder at our house. I don't want to dox myself because it's a small town, but it was on a very well known episode of a true crime show. Turns out the wife killed the husband, shot him like 11 times, ended up dragging him him into the basement and like burying him in concrete down there. Yeah, before where they did that is still kind of fucked up. Just in case you're curious and like, I'm not a super person, stitches or otherwise, but a lot of our family and co workers and stuff think we're kind of nuts for going with the house anyway. But hey, we're millennials and how the fuck else are we gonna buy house? So just wanted to know your perspective. Should I be looking out for ghosts?

[B]

The at. Let me know.

[D]

Love the pod.

[A]

Love you.

[D]

Take care. Take.

[B]

This is awesome. The economy is so bad.

[A]

I'm wondering how they afforded a house.

[B]

The economy is so bad that to be in your 30s, the only way you can afford a home. There was a brutal murder. Not just a run of the mill slang that doesn't even knock down 20k off the asking price. You need to have an episode of a Netflix series dedicated to your home.

[A]

You need.

[B]

You need a gruesome murder where also like it involves the foundation of your home. She buried him in concrete in the basement. This bitch went to fucking Home Depot and got the quick, quick dry cement, quick mix cement.

[C]

I'm like gruesome slaying and home burial. That's pretty good. Are there any murder suicides in the neighborhood? Maybe we could get a better deal here.

[A]

11 shots.

[B]

Shots. 11.

[A]

That was pissed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Hey, a six shooter. Eleven's crazy. Eleven's crazy. And then drag him. Have you ever just tried to pick up a drunk friend?

[B]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[A]

That's like my mom sized lady dragging that dude down.

[B]

It could have been a wnba.

[A]

And then into the basement. Oh, can I tell you a story that happened in Baltimore just like this?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This Is also true. You can look this up. I even have a link in my phone to it. Yeah, this would have been 1990. Let's see. 5, 6, December. I'm working. I get a job at UPS. Shout out to UPS Baltimore Hub Primary 1 Joe Avenue. The first job I get is a holiday helper, driver's helper. On Christmas, I'm living in Arbutus on Elm Road. And. And the. And the driver is picking me up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At my house. All I got to do is walk out onto my porch. And here comes my UPS ride. He's picking me up after Next Day airs, Next Day air has got to be out by 9am Then he's picking me up on my porch, and we're going nine to basically nine. Because it's holiday season every. In all those houses, right? So UPS's rule at that time when I was working was you knock on the door. If no one answers, you take that package, you put it out of sight, out of weather. All right? So I'm knocking on this house in Arbutus, knocking on the door, and I can clearly hear people in there, but they're not answering. Answering. Knocking. Knocking, not answering. Drive. You know, we're hustling. He's like, what's going on? I'm like, they're in there, but they're not answering. He's like, all right, go around back. Leave it out back. So I go out back, I put it on their little deck, out of sight, out of weather, and I knock back there again. And I can hear going on in the basement.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, God.

[A]

So we leave and we do our whole day, and we get back to the warehouse that night, one of the supervisors comes up to me. He's like, how about that weirdo on your route today, huh? And I'm like, what? You know, we're in Baltimore. Like, which one? There's every block, of course. And he goes, the guy that murdered the people. And I was like, what? That house that I'm knocking on, this guy, it's in. It's in there, too. He owed money to people in Carroll County. Okay?

[B]

He.

[A]

And. And we're talking like, under $2,000.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Maybe even under a grand.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He drives. Drives out to Patapsco State park, meets these two guys, kills them while he's there. Okay. Puts him in his car, takes him to his house. What he didn't know is one of the dudes had just had a baby, and the baby's in the car. Baby was fine. Baby was fine. But the reason that the police were called is because the mother was like, hey, my boyfriend went here, here to meet this guy because of this. And this is where he lives. So they go to the car, baby's fine. And they go to that guy's house. Listen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

While I'm knocking on this motherfucker's door, he is burying both those bodies in his basement.

[B]

What?

[A]

Stop. All my life here. Hold on.

[B]

You're like, sir, your shovel. Sir, your meat cleaver from ups.

[C]

I think I got a.

[A]

Got it.

[C]

Hail Thorpe man convicted of murdering two Carol men after $225 drug debt.

[A]

Blamed in killings.

[C]

A Hailthorpe man accused of killing two Carroll county men over a $225 drug debt and burying them in his basement. In 1995, was convicted on two counts of murder in. In Carroll County Circuit Court. This was in 2018 too.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, wow. So he hit a water pipe and busted the everything so the bodies are floating so he can't hide them now.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

So we're like, do we need to go to court? They're like, no, man. This is like Detective 101. This is the guy. Blah, blah. They go there and I'm like, are you kidding me right now? I'm hearing them down there and I'm. I'm like, I hear him. Bang, bang, bang. Dude. And here's the other thing about that. I had no idea it was that. Yeah, I mean that's nothing. Yeah, he's the type of piece of. That happens. Had cars sitting on the yard. You could have sold to my buddy Shannon at the junkyard in Baltimore for 200 and paid that.

[B]

This was easier.

[A]

He went and killed.

[B]

Double murder. Jesus Christ.

[A]

Double murder.

[B]

Wow. Yeah.

[A]

The.

[B]

The reaper's always around you.

[A]

So I wonder what that house goes for.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's a beauty.

[A]

I wonder what that house. Because you're right. It's not just like, yeah, this old person passed away right here. Or even brutal.

[B]

Even like a one like. Like an intruder gets shot.

[A]

Sure. Self defense.

[B]

It's not even like. Or even a simple murder. Like, it's not even like a simple murder. It's like a fucked up crazy murder. And that's a very good. Because here's the thing. If we're talking in medieval times, you probably kill a guy and then you're like, nice. He's got an awesome shack. I'm going to kill him to we. The economy has gotten so bad that people need shelter so much that they're like, nice. Someone was brutally killed. I can afford to take Their rancher. Like, we've gotten so, so poor. That, like, energy, like, that's the thing. Talking about vibes and energy. That's the level of, like, comfort we were at, where we've gotten to, like, psychology and then above psychology and psychiatry, we've gotten to like, mystical vibes and stuff. Stuff. People are so impoverished. They're like, I don't give a.

[A]

How many kids were killed here. We. We'll take it. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, if we're talking about like an ep, like, I wonder what Epstein's house is going to go for. I wonder if they can. Didn't somebody buy little St. James? Eldis St. James. What's that? That's the island. A little St. James Island?

[A]

Yeah. I just thought it was called Epstein's Island. Really?

[B]

Yeah. Child.

[C]

Interesting. It was purchased by JP Morgan securities in 2022.

[B]

Wow. Just a cool company that doesn't do any evil, probably. No, Nobody on JP Morgan's board ever went to the island. Yeah. I wonder why they bought it. They're like, ooh, that's a good. Oh, I remember those beaches. Those are nice. That's fucking. Anyway, this is a great question. Would I live there?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

That's fucking. Like, I do. Unfortunately, the older I get, the more I believe in, like, energies and like, things. Now I would need to know specifics, right. Because if this is like a crime of passion, but if there's like real evil involved.

[A]

Right. If this guy was a piece of. What if he's the piece of. And she finally had.

[B]

Right. Right.

[A]

I would feel. Right. Okay, yeah. This woman.

[B]

I agree. There's something like, was he an abuser?

[A]

Vindicated?

[B]

Did he like, do anything horrible? Was he cheating? Like, cheating doesn't obviously accuse, you know, excuse murdering. But it's like, is this guy a complete piece of shit? Now if it was the kind of thing where it's like a happy, normal couple moved in here and six months later the wife is fucking taking a shotgun to his head and no one knows what happened. I might skip that one. I would literally need to look into this and know what happened. Hold on.

[A]

You're by realtor. At what point do you tell me this?

[B]

Right? I'm like, well, are you telling me.

[A]

Right in or are we in the tour now? Where are you telling me?

[B]

I think what happens is you come in, you're like, wow, this is a great. Listen, as you can see the tree lined streets, it's beautiful. The school up the block actually has just gotten a huge grant and they're building new portable classrooms. And they're really investing in their theater program. If you have a child that's a performer. These beautiful windows. They're actually recently replaced. You're gonna love this. Car carpet, all new. Now, there were some reasons that had to get replaced, but can you, can.

[A]

You take us out of the basement real quick?

[B]

The basement right now is actually. There was some damage to the basement. There was. I mean, there's a couple things. There's some mold.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

There's some brains and some. And the viscera of a murdered husband. But it's really like we're clearing out the mold.

[A]

Wait, you said something there.

[B]

I said there's mold and there's a little bit of brain matter and viscera from a murdered.

[A]

From a murder.

[B]

From a murdered man. And it's unclear if it was manslaughter or murder. But really, let me tell you this. The basement needed a new coat of pain anyway. And you know what? After excavating the body, you actually gained 3ft of extra storage space. So actually what was. Was a six foot barrel.

[A]

I mean, you'd have to crouch basement.

[B]

Now we're talking. You have nine feet. I mean, this is a. You, you gained a whole more. You have, you have usable ceilings. I mean, you could put a. In fact, 10ft. I think you could put a basketball hoop down there if you really wanted to. I think that's how. I think that's how I would.

[A]

Great pitch, bro. I'm in. I'm putting an offer in.

[B]

Would you eldest, would you live in this place?

[C]

I'm kind of with you on the energy thing, but every man has his price.

[B]

His price? Absolutely.

[C]

For the right price. I think I would. Yeah, I think, I think I would.

[A]

He's the guy that's going to outbid me because I care if it has morals. And he's like, of course.

[C]

So I think, like, I would personally love to learn as many details as possible.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Just so I'm not. I'm never like in the basement doing laundry and like guessing, like how did she kill and what happened?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I feel like if I know it as clinically and through us, through as possible, I could live with myself if I save like 50 grand on the house or something. 50?

[B]

Oh, you know, whatever it is.

[C]

I mean. Yeah, I think so.

[B]

I my. Now what if you live there and everything's actually great and then like three months in you're like, kill your wife or you wake up and your wife is standing over you?

[C]

Well, that, that is, that is the Only reason I want would pause because I don't really. I don't really believe in like the supernatural shit, per se, but whether or not the energy is like real, I believe just knowing that could drive a man mad, right. And it's like whether it's some occult shit or whether it's like the placebo effect, go crazy. Because, you know, I do believe that could be a very legitimate risk. So that's the only thing that would give me.

[B]

Interesting that you're weak minded.

[A]

Can I ask this question?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What if you buy the house? House. And you'd find out that later.

[B]

I think you could probably get out.

[A]

Of that contract if you wanted to. Would you?

[B]

I guess I would, yeah. I think. Well, first of all, what if you.

[A]

Love the house and then you find out.

[B]

I would probably. I think you can probably sue for some amount of money. Like, I'd need to get the discount.

[A]

Get a better deal.

[B]

I need to get the brutal murder discount. There's no way I'm not getting that brutal murder. At a minimum, I would do that for sure. But I think what we are seeing here is that the economy in the world for most people is so bad we have regressed maybe a couple hundred years. Because I bet you in the 1800s no one gave a. You know what I mean?

[A]

Well, that lady might not have been able to afford the mortgage and killed him so she can go to prison, you know what I mean? Because the housing market, you know what I mean? You know, she's got a place to go.

[B]

Yeah, maybe she winds up. She's been watching Orange is the New Black. She wanted a girlfriend late in life. Who knows? But that's a great question. I would. This guy does not seem to give a fuck. And I would say, hey, man, if you don't, if it doesn't bother you, keep rocking.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Keep rocking. Good for you, brother. It would be nice if people could afford homes, you know. Not without people being gruesomely killed in them. But, you know, now we're getting too greedy.

[C]

Yeah, that's what home shopping is all about.

[D]

Sure.

[C]

The opportunity cost of, you know. Know what's it worth to you, Ryan? Could you lose that can?

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Oh, sorry.

[B]

No, no, it's not.

[C]

No, you're good. Put on the ground or behind that plant or something.

[B]

Oh, and maybe take one of these. Oh, what time is it? Holy shit. On Halloween.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

We're getting twisted. Hell yeah, Ryan. Time to keep it twisted. Twisted, everyone.

[A]

My first drink in the long.

[B]

No, you don't have to drink now. Ryan's keeping it very twisted right now. He's. He's taking a sip of twisted tea. You saw that?

[A]

Froze my first sip in years of alcohol.

[B]

Twisted. We just kept it very, very twisted. What's the twisted? Ass up. Question of the week. Eldest.

[D]

Hey Stavi. Mr. Sula and esteemed guest, longtime stroker, first time comer. I tried to make this call a couple nights ago, actually twice, but I was high off my. Then I kept going over the time limit. So I'll keep it brief. Basically I'm going on a trip for Halloween down to LA to see one of my friends with a smaller group of friends and I kind of don't want to go anymore. For content context. We went on another trip to LA earlier like back in September. And you know, we. I'm coming, we're coming down from the SF Bay area. That's a seven hour drive to la. And we did not do like all where we were down there, man. Like we got high and went to the mall and watched Adventure Time in my friend's apartment. Which you know, if that was here, that's a chill day. Like I did have fun but like, like seven hour drive there and back. It's just like I kind of wish we did more. Like we didn't do anything except buy the whole time. And so we're setting up this next one to go down to see him for Halloween. And I asked my friends like, okay, what's the plan? What's the game plan? We get down there and they're like, we might go to a party, we might do this and this and this and I'm just really scared it's going to be a lot of the same thing. A lot of just sitting around his apartment just like bullshitting, getting high again and like I don't know, I don't know. Is that like up to pull out? Because the trip is in a couple weeks and I don't want to be the guy to pull out last minute and kind of like up the whole like how the money is being like spread around.

[B]

I mean this will happen. This will already be by the time, I don't know, just.

[A]

I love your advice.

[D]

St Big.

[C]

Let's assume he means on Halloween weekend.

[B]

This weekend coming up, not last week. Big up to you, my guy. And well, okay, I would say that's not twisted. She could have picked a more twisted question. Not very twisted at all. Some might say kind of a boring question. Others might say, but you know, this guy is trying. Maybe the Problem is his friends don't keep it twisted enough for him. This is a twisted guy that wants to have a good time on Halloween. He knows it's slutty these days. He doesn't live in an idyllic 1978 Baltimore county where tits are still hidden away and all you can do is, you know, destroy the property of the nerd that lives two doors away. He lives in modern times where you want to, if you're going to take a seven hour drive, you want to have a good time, maybe see some tits, maybe see a slutty Harley Quinn or something like that.

[D]

That.

[B]

Now my big issue though here is seven hours is a lot of time, right? That's number one. So I get that. But also, do you like your friends? That's my biggest issue, right? Because like, you know, I would before I moved to New York. Now granted, four hours is easier than seven hours. But also it was a mega bus ride, you know, so maybe I have. If it was seven, I still would probably come visit you. But it's not like we did that much stuff. Yeah, I mean, a lot of our trips were like, if now seven hours is the only reason, I'm gonna maybe give him the benefit of the doubt.

[A]

But like, that sounds like a fine little weekend to me with a good friend. I mean, that's all I want to do. I don't want to make, I don't want to go do shit.

[B]

Totally. And when you think about like, okay, I was on a megabus, but it was like a fucking half hour to get, to get from the, from my house to the Megabus in Baltimore and then from fucking midtown to Brooklyn, you know what I mean? Like it's probably, when you're broke, going from Baltimore to New York was probably about a six hour all in, you know, fucking journey. You could argue being in your own car is actually more comfortable. Right? So like when you go visit your friends, you just, sometimes you bullshit, right? And also you're not, no one's forcing you to not do shit. Like you're not making any fucking plans either.

[A]

That's what I was gonna say. Come with plans.

[B]

Come with plans.

[A]

I'll tell you what, now Los Angeles, for all of its, you know, blemishes and everything else, it is a kick ass Halloween city. Oh yeah, I can't get over LA is great for Halloween too. So if you go to Boys Town, Santa Monica Boulevard sucked off from, you can get sucked up from San Vicente to like La Sienna, I believe it is. They shut the whole street down. And it's got, you know, big bant pink play at one end and some K rock at the other or whatever. And, and it's just wall to wall people walking through there and it's, it's bars, bars, bars.

[B]

It's the fright nights that you're just.

[A]

Going, yeah, those are great sounds. There's a haunted hay ride. I just told my daughter about this too. There's a great haunted hay ride at the LA Zoo. I went with two friends a few years back. It was a while more than that. And you. It's pretty cool because it's old, you know, cages that are open. And you just take this little hay ride and you look into each one and it's creepy and crazy people come up and touch you. And well, this guy comes up and is touching us, but he's dressed in like regular clothes. Okay, this is a true story.

[B]

You're at the Haunted Hayride at the.

[A]

LA Zoo and there's like, you know, maybe 10 people on the wagon all together and they'll come up dressed up and play with you and. But this guy's in like jorts, you know what I mean? This dude's touching us and we're like. And so we don't know is that part of, of the scary. Cuz he looks normal, whatever. And the guy driving the tractor. So finally I'm like, yo, who the is this guy? He's like, what the. And he gets on the walkie talk. He's like, hey, we got a problem. We're like, what the going on? And this guy hears it and he starts running ahead of us. We're like, what the. He goes, guys, listen, that guy is not part of this. I don't know who he is just touching or rando. He's like, we're going to wait here. And he would disappear and then come back and stuff.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

And so we wait and they, then they give us the all clear. And when we, we're going down, he's being arrested in one of the suit cages. They got a spotlight on. He's in there getting handcuffed. Just a lunatic. He was just a lunatic. Dude.

[B]

That would have been a good like break the fourth wall, like actual scare where it's like, oh, he's a sex offender. I'm arresting a sex offender.

[A]

And then show up with some plans. You got plenty of things to do in la, so if you want to do something, do it. But also, I wouldn't rely on, on anyone to make plans for you if you're Specific about what you want to do.

[B]

Yeah, like I think you could get. It's a town where you could keep it very nice and twisted in Los Angeles. And yeah, it's either it doesn't that Halloween's twisted. What would you want? Like what do you want your friends to do? You know what I mean? Like that seems to be their vibe. You seem to be the odd man out. Everyone else is happy to make this trip like this and you're pissed off. So it's not a problem if you don't want to go. But also what's the issue? Do you not want to see your friends or do you not want to do this bullshit? Because yeah, come with some plans and look, at the very least, here's what you could do. Pick up a six pack of some ice cold. Not even a six pack. You got a whole group of friends. Maybe the game day pack of some ice cold, brewed with real iced tea, 5% per volume. Twisted teas. And that's a party in a can, my friend. That's a road trip in a can. Don't drink it while driving. Yeah, the peach is incredible, the flavors are great. And yeah, just keep it twisted, man. Go to Boys Town, you know, engage in some anonymous gay sex if you'd like. If you're a homosexual, man, that's. Although wait, he's going from San Francisco to la, so I, I guess he's probably got those options there too, you know. But look, maybe you're a heterosexual man. It's gonna be a little harder to fuck on Halloween, but not that hard. It's a pretty fuck forward holiday. So yeah, talk to your friends, make some plans, but also take the temperature. He might make these plans and they're like, we don't want to do that. We're going to fucking hang out on Halloween. It's. I miss my friends. I just want to chill with my them, check in with them, see if it's a matter of being lazy or not. Maybe you're just not. Maybe this, this trip is not your speed. And yeah, who gives a fuck? Great work, El. This a rousing call with a lot of discussion. He couldn't have done. I mean the other, the one we did before was the perfect twisted call. It was about a murder that was very twisted. You could argue that woman kept it very. Way too twisted.

[C]

I don't know, they might not want murder.

[B]

I guess that's true. I guess that's true, you know. Okay, okay. But there probably was a middle ground. Let's see what else you got. I can't wait for the next question to immediately be more twisted.

[D]

Hi, Savi. So I just wanted some advice. Advice, because I got a ex girlfriend who has been. We live in the same duplex, so she lives on the first floor. I live on the second and third floor. And after we broke up, she has been like. It's been a month now of just non stop, like, drama and stuff, and not even, like, I'm engaging in this. She keeps sending. She got a ring camera, like, a month ago, and she would keep sending, like, videos of me leaving and entering my home to people. Like, anytime I bring a girl over, she is, like, sending videos of that to people. And she's just, like, constantly watching me. And I know she. Well, not constantly, but, like, I hear she will tell people. Oh, yeah, I've been. I've been looking at him leaving, entering. And again, this, like a month of this. And it's been really stressful for me. Me, because I'm just trying to get as far away from her as possible. She keeps hearing from friends. Like, we're both my friends. Like, some of they're my friends from, like, high school. They'll be like, yes, you see, contacted me and she's talking all this about you and saying that, like, oh, you did this. That. Which is not true. And yeah, she's just. It's been really stressful for me to be in my house. And. Yeah, I just want to know if you have any advice on what to do, because I feel very stuck in this situation. And again, she will just. She will not leave me alone. So, yeah. Anyways, thank you. Goodbye.

[B]

Yeah, she is keeping it twisted, too. Twisted again, not as twisted as murder. But I mean, this. This. He's kind of leaving out a lot of important details, which is like, how locked in are you to this living situation?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because, I mean, that's what it all comes down to. I mean, we can talk about wanting distance and wanting to move on and all the drama, but it's like you live one floor above her. Like, that's not. And like, you have the same entrance.

[A]

To the house, you have the same address, your roommates with different current units.

[B]

Like, there's no sense of normalcy until you leave or she leaves. I don't know what else to tell you, bro. Like, literally, that is the fundamental issue here. Right? Because, yeah, we've all had. There's been. You know, everyone has had a breakup that has gone weird, right? Like a little. That's just like someone is. Is. It might be you the know, you might act weird, they might act weird, but sub, you know, at the very least, people have a hard time moving on. What's going to make it impossible is living in the same domicile even though you are one, even though you get the two floors up that you're still fucking in the same.

[A]

You walk right by the door. She obviously sees.

[B]

Yeah, like, how often do you bump into her? I mean, maybe there's. Maybe there's different entrances, but still it's like the main entrance she has. Has access to your ring camera, so you're not separate enough. And so I don't even know that it's worth getting into the other stuff until we say, like, move, leave. Does he have any. There's no other context on that, is there? Eldest?

[C]

Not really.

[A]

You know what else he could do? He could get word out that he's moving. See if that gets her interested in moving, then let her move and then be like, psych.

[B]

Like. Like she wants to him over by moving before him.

[A]

No, I think she's stalking. So I feel like if he says he's moving, she'll probably be like, well, what's the point of me being here anymore? He's not here anymore. There goes my. That seems to be like a lifeline for some people. You know what I mean? Like, that's her. That's her. Remember back in the day when all the ladies would watch the soaps? That's her stories, right? I mean, this is her day. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna watch him go by, see who he's with, talk to. If he says, hey, I'm just gonna remove myself, myself from this equation, I'm out of here. I wonder if she won't be like, well, what the am I doing here?

[B]

Still, though, she knows where you live.

[A]

You know, I would say right there.

[B]

I say fresh start. Don't engage.

[A]

I agree, I agree.

[B]

Don't engage her in any, like, mind games. You know what I mean? Just like, fresh start. She has no access to where you live, doesn't know your address.

[A]

That's out of there.

[B]

Just get out.

[A]

That is the best solution.

[C]

Do you think he could ignore his way out of the this and just like. Because. Because it doesn't sound like she's sending him videos of himself. Sounds like she's like bitching to their mutuals or something, right?

[B]

It's getting back to him. And it's like the whole point is to poison the friend group. And like, I think he could ignore. The thing that makes it hard to ignore is that she lives underneath you. Like, that's my thing is like. And by the way, this will affect her, too. When she. He's not there. When the constant reminder is not there there. It's gonna. Actually. She might be insane. She is five times more insane with him living above, right? Like, I'm not gonna. I'm not saying this woman will be reasonable as soon as he moves, but she, like, she definitely won't while you're still living there. Like, that's the hard thing with this question is, like, you just have to.

[A]

The only way to find out is to go.

[B]

Like, people who stay with an ex and they're like, well, it would be really expensive. And it's like. Like, yeah, but you're paying the cost every day to the point where it's like, it's worth borrowing money from a trusted friend to break a lease or something instead of, like, staying if you at all can. Sometimes you have to think about the, like, psychological damage you do staying in these up situations. And I don't know. I think you got to move. I mean, if there's more to it, I guess. But he didn't say. He didn't even say, like, I know I should move, but it's just expensive. Or he didn't say when his lease is up. If we had heard any of that. He has no awareness of his living situation being an issue. He didn't bring it up at least. So that's why I feel like I. We really have to nail him on this. This is the number one problem. Everyone has a crazy ex. Sometimes you're the crazy ex. Whatever. Not everyone stays in the same roommates with him. And he's saying, like. Like, we live in a dude. Like, oh, she has the first floor. Like, you live in the same. You're roommates. I don't care what the fuck you say. Like, that's not. It would be weird to even be in the same building as I agree, let alone share the same entrance. So anyway, this guy, not him. But you got to be more aware, brother, about what your pro. Your main problem is what else you got. Little El Duns.

[D]

Hey, big fan of the show. Watching when Josh Johnson was on. On. I love what you guys do, and I appreciate you guys taking time to listen to your fans and their issues. Right now. I am in a very crazy situation. My fiance gave birth to my youngest child on August 17th. I have a child from a previous relationship who's five years old. His mother decided she wanted to move to Rochester, New Jersey. I lived in or, sorry, Rochester, New York. I live in New Jersey. He essentially moved six hours away. My son, who's five years old, chose to live with me. My current situation, which is my fiance, does not like any communication between me and my oldest son's mother, which puts me in a predicament because I'm not actually against my oldest son's mother. And that's a big. I'm trying to navigate this situation as fast as I can, but my oldest son's mother is not here and my fiance is here and she is stepping up tenfold with my son. My oldest son's mother is not a bad person. She just can't get her shit together. And I was friends with her for a long time throughout our relationship. It was not a bad breakup. It was very civil. Is it wrong of me to cut communication with her completely to protect the feelings of my fiance who is completely against her? I understand people are allowed to feel how they feel and my fiance is completely against the idea that I have some sort of open communication with my oldest son's mom. But I'm being put in the middle of a situation that I really don't agree with. But I have to kind of accept where she is. Here he is putting in the time and she is developing a relationship with my son that his mom's not doing. I don't know how to navigate this situation right now and I just would like some advice on how I should go about it in this very predicament. You guys are the best. I love the podcast, I love the stand ups and hopefully you guys hear this.

[B]

Interesting. It's an interesting situation. I mean like my. And I think you, I mean you have better insight on this like, you know, because you, you know, you're, you have a kid.

[A]

I was already putting myself in his shoes.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. What, yeah. What's your, I'm curious your take immediately because I, I have some thoughts, but. But you've kind of lived similar situations.

[A]

Well, my, my first thoughts always are what's best for the kids.

[B]

Right?

[A]

That's what's best for you, the mom or whoever else comes in after. It's always what's best for the kids. Sounds like cutting your, your child's mother off means you're not going to get access to that child anymore either. So you're not just cutting her off?

[B]

Well, no though, because from what I understand, it's his kid. Is, is he, he has custody of his kid with his ex. Right. So that, that, that, that is the thing I'm confused about.

[A]

Right, but there's another kid.

[B]

No, no, there's another kid with the. His new fiance is pregnant. Right. Eldis.

[C]

He's got a child from a previous relationship.

[B]

But no, no, I know that's the one that's living with him now because his wife moved.

[A]

Did I misunderstand? I thought he had two kids, one with the ex and one with him. But they're both theirs.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Five year old with the.

[C]

With the old.

[B]

With the X. Yeah.

[C]

And then he's got this baby with the fiance.

[B]

He's got a baby with a fiance.

[A]

Oh, so the. Okay, so.

[B]

So the kid is living with him. Okay, so my question.

[A]

Well, then, yeah, then never mind. I misunderstood. I was thinking, mom's got this one, so you're gonna lose access to this kid. It's always best. What's kid? Well, hold on though. That's that kid's mom.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

That's that kid's mom. So. No, I am fully against the fiance's philosophy on, you know, keeping it like this. No, you can't bring anybody else in that's going to alienate because not only are you cutting her off, then you're cutting off this child's access to their mom. I mean, I know there's Facebook and all that later, but those early years, I mean, that's important. Like, and, and I know that she says, but that's the kid's mom. Like, I just don't think you. With that.

[B]

I mean, I think we're clearly. He's clearly left stuff out where his. He says she can't get her together. That's clue number one. Clue number two is, is living with him. Like, I mean, you gotta be a mess.

[A]

This is my mom.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's like you got to be a mess to like, like lose to not have any custody. So then my question is, like, so legally his mom doesn't have to see him at all, then she must be a real mess. Right, because you would assume your fiance couldn't say, I don't want anything to do with this person. Because you would assume, court ordered, she would have some visitation rights. So I think we're getting a. This guy's an unreliable narrator a little bit. I think he might be. And he clearly has some affection for his ex and like, the situation might be worse. Worse than he's letting on. Right. It might be worse than, like, oh, she just can't get her together. Like, I. Any situ. Like, don't you legally have to get some Visitation for the parent. No, she doesn't have to see him. Like his mom doesn't necessarily.

[A]

Not unless they went to court and she fought for that and wanted that and the court said you have it. But.

[B]

So if it's anything, here's the beautiful.

[A]

Thing, any parent at any time they want can just leave. They really. I guess you're right, they really can't. And a lot of them fucking do.

[B]

So basically the fiance is like, she fucking left you. She kind of abandoned you with this kid. Like, I don't want this. This person has made her decision. We're raising the kid. I have no problem. And she's clearly.

[A]

I stepped up to.

[B]

The nice thing is she, she clearly has no problem with that. I do feel like we're missing the context of why. Because he said his kid chose, which again is a crazy. A 5 year old didn't want his mom. It's a big problem, I guess.

[A]

You know what? Now hearing all of it and getting it straight, I would say this the mother, you don't need to be in contact with her. But what you can say is you can talk to your son and see your son whenever you'd like, he's right here. You don't need to be buddies with her. And then you put the onus on her to say, hey, I'd like to see my kids kid.

[B]

Yeah, I guess. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

I'm saying we don't need to chit chat back and forth and be bros. It can. This is my daughter's mother and I, we are what we call professional. Hey, I'd like to FaceTime Stella. Great. Yeah, I like to see her. This, whatever. Yeah, that's what you do. But if you were non existent and this person came in and said, hey, I'm doing all this. I don't like you being buddy buddy with that lady. But I don't think I would, I think I would meet halfway on if she wants to be a part of this kid's life, she can't. But you guys don't need to be bros.

[B]

I think that's fair and I think like. But I do think that's my one criticism again, not knowing everything. The one thing I would say tooting you to his fiance is like, there has to be some room for this woman being a part of her son's life.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Even if she's a fuck up. Even if. Whatever. It's like if she wants to, you kind of have to. I think it's just the right thing to do. To let a parent, parent have some part in their kid's life. Again, unless there's more context we're missing. Like, did she nod off on. On heroin, leave the kid in a hot car for nine hours?

[A]

Or drinking and driving with the kid in the car.

[B]

Maybe the fiance has a point, right? But if it's just, look, she's just kind of a up. She knew the kid would be better off with him than with her. She's moving to a cheaper place to kind of, hopefully she can make. Figure her out. If she gets her shit sort of together and wants to be a part of the kid's life, you kind of have to. You kind of have to fucking let her.

[A]

No doubt.

[B]

And so that's. But then how does he navigate it? Like it's not the kind of thing where he can draw this hard line with his fiance because he also has a kid with her, so he can't. He is in a fucked up place. Cause what if she says, I don't care. I don't want this bitch in my life at all? Then you're really, really fucked. And then it's like, I don't know what I would do if she drove that hard line. I'm gonna hope that's not the case. And I would hope that if anything, you just advocate for not your ex, but for your kid and say, look, I understand everything you're saying and you have this incredible relationship with him, but he deserves some relationship with his mom. And we have to figure that out. And it's like, we can put some stipulations on it. Like you said, I don't have to be buddy buddy with her. And I think that's true. You have to show that you're at least hearing her and saying like, fine, because she also might be.

[A]

He might also be kicking her a little bit of money. That's pissing her off too. You never know what really is going on. Yes.

[B]

And my hunches, it's a little bit of pragmatism and it's a little bit of. He's talking about the. This person in some pretty glowing terms given the situation. Like, he's really nice to her. And then like, we've never heard this perspective on this about someone's ex who can't get her together. It's always like this. My son's life up. This guy's like, hey, I mean, imagine how good the was, you know, like that's what. That's Occam's razor. What it all comes back to.

[A]

Same with the girl living downstairs, the best.

[B]

Who better than you girl or the old girl who's insane and had to move to Rochester. I know where my money is. Right. So there might. So I think she probably has a legitimate. Like there's something weird about them. You know what I mean? Like it might be the kind of relationship where if he wasn't in a serious labor with somebody else, he would just. And it wouldn't mean anything. They're just friends who, like, they had this history, but they're like, they fall into that weird. Maybe they have a JLo, Ben Affleck thing going where they just have a natural chemistry. They fall into whatever. But so you have to. Whatever your fiance's fears or what she doesn't want to happen. You have to show that you are hearing her out and you're like, look, I will not have any day to day contact with this woman. It will be strictly organizing. Like you can visit him or you can even, you know, what's her family situation? Is there a family go between. You can have whatever it is. I think you have to do that. But short of that, I think you listen to your fiance. But I just don't think like it would morally, you can. Even if someone's a piece of shit, if they're making some kind of effort to see their kid, you don't have to let them do it every. They can't just drop in whenever. But like, you know, you should. In a perfect world, this kid gets to have his mom, his biological and his stepmom in his life. Right. Like, that's. That would be ideal. And so you just have to have room in whatever, Whatever understanding you have between your fiance and yourself. That. That is a possibility. But it's a delicate. I mean, I'm not going to lie. It is a delicate thing to thread. You just have to make her feel like she's being heard, but also, you know, and making clear it's not about this ex, it's about the kid.

[A]

Yeah. And that she's safe with you and everything. Everything's good. Look, this lady's not a threat to our relationship, to my child. None of it.

[B]

Yeah, maybe set a date, chief. Maybe let's drop the fiance title and let's move on to wife. That might. That might.

[A]

That might do wonders for this discussion.

[B]

LD, you got something fun for us to go out on, little buddy?

[D]

Hello, Stav and Eldis. And a question. This is a request. The Caleb Heron episode just popped up in my YouTube feed and staff is looking quite, quite huggable in in his bear seat. And I just think we need more stuff. Dressed up as a lovable animal.

[B]

You know, it doesn't matter.

[D]

It could be Halloween coming up. But really any time of the year brings. Brings me and I'm sure others a lot of joy. It's not a sexual thing. I mean it could be for some people.

[B]

I don't know. You know, there's a little.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Just kind of made my voice.

[D]

It was a late night work evening. So yeah, more. More bears to make the chaos of the world more bearable. Farewell.

[B]

Okay, who the fuck is this? Is this like gay Michael Longfellow? They fucking did Longfellow's gay alter ego call in. Who's a chubby chaser and you have.

[A]

A bear outfit on.

[B]

I do. I do.

[A]

He is a bear. Winnie the.

[B]

Yeah, Winnie the Pooh is a bear.

[A]

I am.

[B]

Look, I'm Winnie the Pooh coated. I have some. There's an inability to get away from delicious treats walking around, you know, without pants on. I think I have, you know, I have the body type. But you know what? Maybe we should do more little costumes. It's all. It is fun when we just drop some. And we have some very fun stuff planned for Thanksgiving and hot.

[C]

And Christmas and Halloween this Thursday.

[B]

Oh, that's right. The. On actual Halloween. We. We. We actually are doubling down on Baltimore Halloween. We have Tommy Sambazo's on the Patreon and it is a. That one is Star wars themed. That's our. That's your little hint. That's your little hint to the listeners at home. But yeah, we have some fun stuff. But I do honestly, I do feel great in one of these.

[C]

The onesie costumes are really awesome.

[A]

This is the most comfortable I think I've ever been.

[B]

I'm like.

[A]

I've been podcasting for about 15 years. Yeah, I think this is the high point right here.

[B]

Well, this is stuff. Cuz I just really want to take a nap in this. It's. It's been really hard to like stay on and engage because I'm like. It's a. Because the only problem is it's a little warmer than I'd like.

[A]

It's a little warm.

[B]

But that also lulls you to sleep where I'm like. I just like. If I had like a giant woman come and like pick me up and you know, swaddle me and then put me in a crib. Now we're talking. Now we're really talking. But thanks, man. Well, hopefully you're getting. You're enjoying this In a non horny way. And I hope some other people are enjoying it in a horny way. But this has been a wonderful Halloween, Ryan. Thank you, brother.

[A]

Thank you, dude. Guys, thank you enough.

[B]

Watch the special live and alive on YouTube right now. We have. We'll link to it all that kind of good stuff. Have a good Halloween. And maybe drop us your theories on when Halloween became slutty. Unfortunately, we have recorded a lot, so you won't. We'll pick this discussion up in late December because for a quirk of the schedule, this is the one time we're recording, like, and releasing it days later. We have stuff in the can. But I do want to pick up when did Halloween become slutty? So watch out. 2026. We're gonna really get. We're gonna really crack into this. That just gave up. Just gave up making a point because you didn't know which buttons to press.

[C]

Maybe I'll save some for next year.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just go ahead and record next year's Halloween right now.

[A]

Dude, if you guys do McDonald's characters next year, I will come back for that.

[B]

We should do McDonald's. We should do all fast food Halloween, both episodes. Thank you, Ryan. We appreciate. We appreciate you being here and. And go watch the special, guys. And we also. Actually, we have. I think we've announced our tour, haven't we? By my Monday.

[C]

Yeah, I think so.

[B]

Okay. We'll cut this into the beginning, actually, but do we have ads to do?

[C]

Uh, let's talk off camera.

[B]

All right, whatever. Fuck you guys. The episode's over. There's a tour. Hopefully you heard about it in the beginning of the episodes. But. But we'll talk to you later. Bye Bye.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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