#157 - Sydnee Washington and Dewayne Perkins

Summary

Stavvy's World #157 feat. Sydnee Washington & Dewayne Perkins

Podcast Date: December 1, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guests: Sydnee Washington, Dewayne Perkins

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Episode Overview

This episode of Stavvy’s World brings back comedian Sydnee Washington, joined by her good friend and “guarantor,” fellow comedian Dewayne Perkins. Together with Stav, they explore everything from navigating New York’s brutal rental market to shifting beauty standards, friendship dynamics, debt survival strategies, and, as always, listener advice calls both absurd and sincere. The tone is candid, irreverent, and always funny, with honest – and occasionally outrageous – takes from the guests.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Roommate Life, Friendship & “Lavender Marriages”

Timestamps: 01:00 – 10:00

• Living Together & Friendships: Sydnee and Dewayne share what it’s like to live together (nearly a year), describing their dynamic as “not romantic,” joking about lavender marriages (i.e., a gay guy and lesbian as roommates). They riff on the intimacy of roommate life, including overhearing each other’s hookups.
• The Apartment Search Nightmare: Dewayne discusses the struggles of convincing skeptical landlords to rent to them, with Sydnee acting as his “guarantor.”
  • "It was very like, 'hey nigga, who are you?'" – Dewayne, describing a landlord Zoom meeting (06:03)
  • "Are the bank statements not enough? What do you want me to look like?" – Sydney (08:20)
• Class, Credit & Paperwork Woes: Dewayne highlights how, coming from a working-class background, financial paperwork and systems create added barriers, even for successful people.
• Memorable Moment:
  • “There was a moment where I was getting my paperwork together and I said, well, assets: my titties, 10,000 years...I will knock this fucking water [over].” – Dewayne (10:31)

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2. Shifting Beauty Standards & Social Commentary

Timestamps: 11:14 – 14:28

• The Value of Tits vs. Asses: The trio debates whether “big tits” or “big ass” are on-trend, playfully analyzing what each symbolizes culturally and politically.
  • “People have said that asses are more left, but big tits are more conservative. And that pisses me off because I’m a staunch leftist who loves huge tits.” – Stav (13:26)
• Queer Sexual Terminology: The group gets into definitions of “frothing” and “docking,” leading to good-humored mockery about gay male culture.
  • “Y’all are sick.” – Dewayne (15:39)

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3. Lifestyle Fads, Cults & Self-Improvement

Timestamps: 16:26 – 23:17

• “Hard 75” Challenge: Sydnee and Dewayne recount trying the social media trend “Hard 75” (75 days of exercise and strict diet), describing their misery and the faux-military vibe of carrying huge water bottles.
  • “I walked on the train with the bottle and this woman laughed...the train car started laughing and I was like, I’ve never felt poorer.” – Sydnee (17:47)
• Being Recruited by a Cult: They discuss the appeal of cults as a way of coping with the harshness of adulthood, and Stav jokingly claims he’d make a great cult leader.

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4. Celebrity Encounters & Old Jobs

Timestamps: 23:21 – 36:42

• BattleBots & Monster Trucks: Dewayne relays attending live BattleBots in Vegas and thoughts on the demographics and kid-friendliness; Sydnee describes her first monster truck show.
• Magicians in Nightlife: Dewayne shares a story about David Blaine eating glass in a bar and "scaring the hoes" (28:23).
• Weirdest Celeb Bar Stories: Dewayne mentions seeing Bono from U2 and being nonplussed (“I can’t help it, your shitty songs are on my phone. I didn’t ask for it.” – Stav, 30:05), and witnessing “allegedly” Sting doing coke with a wet straw (31:37).
• First & Odd Jobs:
  • Sydnee: Worked at Potbelly’s, promoted to interior design for the chain.
    • “That is truly one of the gayest promotions I could possibly...to be making sandwiches, be like, you’ve got it, kid!” – Stav (34:53)
  • Dewayne: Child babysitting, laundry delivery (with potentially sketchy customers), production and tech company gigs, working as a mall greeter, and tour guide at the Whitney Museum.

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5. Philosophy on Stealing From the Man

Timestamps: 37:04 – 43:04

• Corporate Theft is Fine: All agree – steal from corporations, not people.
  • “Don’t steal from people, but a corporation, baby!” – Sydnee (37:19)
• Stav’s Blockbuster Exposé: He reveals Blockbuster never really sent customers to collections, so he stole “like 20 DVDs” (38:44).

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6. Advice Segment – CALLS

Timestamps: 48:29 – 99:00+

Call 1: Should I Tell My Partner When People Talk Shit About Him?

48:29 – 56:58

• Situation: Caller’s boyfriend is seen as an “arrogant asshole” in their small town; should she tell him when people talk behind his back?
• Panel’s Take:
  • Dewayne and Sydnee suggest the real issue is not whether to tell, but “why is everyone talking shit?!”
  • Red flag if boyfriend is “different one-on-one.”
  • “He might not understand how much his behavior is negatively...he needs to know.”
  • Consensus: She should probably tell, but should also reflect on why so many people dislike him.

Call 2: Friend Keeps Bailing with Absurd Excuses

57:10 – 63:44

• Situation: 27-year-old’s friend repeatedly bails on plans, always blaming his girlfriend with elaborate lies.
• Advice:
  • “Thinning out the herd” of friends at this age is normal.
  • Panel jokes about “jumping him emotionally”; recommends one honest conversation, then adjusting expectations or moving on.

Call 3: Brother Asks For Sperm, Is That Weird?

64:09 – 71:07

• Situation: Caller’s transgender brother asked him for sperm so he and his wife can have a child.
• Analysis:
  • Stav and Sydney: “Not that weird” – shows trust and practicality, but process could be more thoughtful (don’t ask over the phone).
  • Dewayne: Wants a fancier ask – “You order some apps, you get an entrée…” (65:37).
  • Eldest: Mainstream advice is to tell the kid early on about their origins.
  • Funny moment proposing a children’s book: “Some dads don’t have jizz.” (70:45)

Call 4: $20k in Debt at 23, What Should I Do?

71:31 – 79:01

• Advice:
  • Stav: “Try to pay it off and avoid high interest.”
  • Sydney: Filing bankruptcy isn’t just for rich people; use legal protections if you’re truly overwhelmed.
  • Dewayne: Pushes for negotiating and debt consolidation, "get itemized bills" for medical debt.

Call 5: Should I Move Across the Country for Love?

80:28 – 88:42

• Situation: Caller (25) is considering moving from Baltimore to San Diego for her boyfriend (33) after a year of long-distance.
• Consensus:
  • “Have a job, your own money, and maybe your own place at first.” – Dewayne (81:57)
  • Sydney: Don’t contort your whole life unless you really want the adventure for yourself as well.
  • Stav: If you move, make sure it’s not just for him – will you like your own life in this new city?

Call 6: My Daughter’s Getting Bullied – What Comebacks Can I Teach Her?

88:55 – 97:48

• Advice:
  • Dewayne: Involve the parents and school (“get the parents involved…and God forbid you have to take the kid out.” – 92:27)
  • Sydney: Teach her to roast back if it's just verbal – “find info about their family, run them jokes at the crib.” (91:19)
  • All: Gauge severity; physical bullying needs action, verbal can build resilience if supported.
  • Panel acknowledges the balance between protecting your child and letting them learn to stand up for themselves.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Cult Leaders:
  • “You start being an everyman. And I would be so good at that. I would be really good at that.” – Stav (20:33)
• On Second-Job Skill Transfers:
  • “Your talents are being wasted on provolone.” – Stav, about Sydnee’s Potbelly's sandwich artistry (35:18)
• On Bankruptcy as Survival Tactic:
  • “A lot of wealthy people file bankruptcy all the time…if you know how to kind of game the system, you can use it to your advantage.” – Sydney (74:13)
• On Friendship & Generosity:
  • “You are who your network is...If you have a whole bunch of people that's like, nah, I'm not helping you, then you gotta look within and be like, well, why don't these people want to help me?” – Dewayne (78:23)
• On Bullying and Roast Tactics:
  • “I found out that the guy’s daddy was in jail. And I said, that’s why your daddy in jail. He started crying and changed everything.” – Sydney (91:19)
• On Moving for Love:
  • “You have that independent...so it’s not just like the codependency, like, ‘we’re living together, I moved here for you’...Are you going to mention this every time we get in an argument?” – Dewayne (82:17)

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Closing, Shout-Outs, and Plugs

Timestamps: 97:52 – End

• Dewayne celebrates his half-hour on Hulu and movie releases: “Big things, baby!” (98:27)
• Sydney plugs socials and reminds us: “Follow me on Instagram… so I can get brand deals.” (99:30)
• Stav: “Thanks for listening, guys! We’ll see you next time.” (99:36)

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Summary Takeaways

This episode is classic Stavvy’s World—fast-paced, packed with genuine comic chemistry and real-life wisdom. Sydnee and Dewayne’s friendship delivery is hilarious but always anchored in lived experience, be it real estate, relationships, hustle–or just surviving adulthood’s absurdities. Whether you need advice on love, money, or just want a laugh about “big water bottles,” dark landlord meetings, or the fine art of the schoolyard roast, this episode brings it.

Authenticity, loyalty, and learning to improvise—sometimes at Potbelly’s, sometimes as an amateur debt lawyer—are the survival skills on display.

Transcript

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Dwayne Perkins]

No, we're doing better.

[Stavros Halkias]

Welcome Everybody to Stavi's World 904-800-Stav, call in will solve your problems. Returning favorite Sydney Washington is here with her guarantor, Dwayne Perkins.

[Dwayne Perkins]

It's funny when I say.

[Stavros Halkias]

When you say it, it's good. We're celebrating. You have an apart. You live in a.

[Dwayne Perkins]

He didn't wait. He was like, yeah, now bring the weight.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm chomping at the bit to get into this. We love tracking your life. You're in a great place. You're glowing. You look incredible. Fully gay again, I think.

[Eldest]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

You've really improved.

[Sydney Washington]

You're back and I have good credit.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's so nice I told you this over text.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Do not listen to him.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's so nice. I told you this over text. It's so nice you finally have a man in your life.

[Sydney Washington]

We have a beautiful lab.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your marriage. Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

All I needed was a gay man to get me right. To get me straight.

[Sydney Washington]

Dinner for her. Last night you did cook dinner for me.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love this. I love to hear this.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You're still straight, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm still straight. Still straight for the time being. We'll see what happens.

[Sydney Washington]

For now I'm open.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Recession indicator. When Stav is gay, things are tough.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, no, that's clear. That's like your crisis. You being straight at all means. Oh, something's wrong. Things are going really bad. Rock bottom.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Honestly, I could see how next year was going to be like. Cuz it happened two years ago. I could just tell everything was going to get worse after that. Not Just me. But the whole, like, world, of course, just fell with me.

[Sydney Washington]

Of course.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I didn't feel alone with the decision.

[Stavros Halkias]

It wasn't even. Yeah, it wasn't even your choice.

[Dwayne Perkins]

It wasn't.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were sort of. Yeah, you were the canary in the coal mine.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Oh, my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

When you're a philosopher, when you're dating men, the world's going bad. So I guess actually by that logic, we should be back any minute now.

[Dwayne Perkins]

It's not getting better to you. There is some days where I'm like, so if I just lose everything, do I just start dating a man again? I don't know. I don't know. I've asked Dwayne and he doesn't want no parts.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is a nice middle ground that you found. You guys are in a nice, like, lavender marriage. That's a nice term. Is that. Is that what people used to do? Kind of a double beard situation? A gay guy and a lesbian would live together?

[Sydney Washington]

Ye. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. That was good. If they could figure that out. That was good.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. It's like you need care and love.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure.

[Sydney Washington]

And you can get sex outside.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

We have a sexless home.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Sydney Washington]

For now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are we going double celibacy?

[Dwayne Perkins]

No, I mean, I.

[Stavros Halkias]

You.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Have you hooked up in the house before?

[Sydney Washington]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh. Oh, come on, dude. Don't disrespect Dwayne while I was there.

[Dwayne Perkins]

The walls are thin.

[Stavros Halkias]

I just want to say, hey, listen, me and. I've heard eldest fucking my whole mic.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, it was just once.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Okay. Yeah. And no, I've. I think I've had sex while you're there. Maybe not. Maybe not. I don't think so. You would have heard me.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the final. That's the final level of roommate intimacy. Knowing the BPMs that somebody fucks that your friend fucks at. I can still. I can close my eyes and hear eldest stroke from the other room.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yo, pause.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now.

[Sydney Washington]

How wet is it?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Macaroni in the pot.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, it's more than grunts. It's more. It's more the creaking of the IKEA bed. It's more. It's definitely not.

[Eldest]

Picture frames are falling off the walls.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Damn.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You fucking like a laid off husband? What's going on?

[Sydney Washington]

I love effort. Good for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, elders will give you a feverish 92 seconds and then he'll need a real rest. You hear him gasping for air?

[Sydney Washington]

Yo, like a song with no bread.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. It's like somebody who's performing a studio version that's way too hard. Live. That's it.

[Sydney Washington]

Just a lot of pointing the mic out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your turn. You know the words. You know how this goes. Why don't you get on top while I catch my bro?

[Dwayne Perkins]

You're feeling very comfortable.

[Sydney Washington]

Simply a comedic genius.

[Stavros Halkias]

I knew he fit right in. I love it. Yeah. That is awesome. So you got. How long you guys been living together?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Almost. Almost a year.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. Because you were there before I came. Because I'd be back and forth.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah. Let's just get this straight.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're gonna say this on the record. On the record.

[Dwayne Perkins]

We don't need to be romantic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Eldest]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Dwayne Perkins]

We like.

[Sydney Washington]

Both of you equally.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't need each other. That's for sure.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Wait, Dwayne, you said it yesterday. I have the money. They just. On paper. They don't. You don't trust.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, I said, it never gave poor. It gave irresponsible.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

I agree with that. Yeah, I agree with that.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So it. You know, when I initially asked him, he was like, actually, I do want to be bicoastal. So I was like, oh, that's perfect. But then, you know how bad the system is with trying to get an apartment. All that paper, all the back and forth, all the. For our experiences. There was a moment where I had to get Dwayne on Zoom with the landlords, right? And he thought that I was going to be on a Zoom, too. I said, no, no, no, baby. It's your paperwork that's going to get us into this building. And then he gets on the Zoom. It did not feel like a loose meeting. It was very like, hey, nigga, who are you?

[Stavros Halkias]

Very business. Like, very about.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You came in a white tank top. And of course they're like, yeah, who are you?

[Sydney Washington]

I didn't know what was going on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. A landlord meeting is always brutal. It was a landlord always, like, they forget that you're a human being. They just look at it as like, I need to get my rent paid. I don't give a fuck at all.

[Sydney Washington]

But the issue was, it was a call to basically be like, hey, we, like, saw all your records and stuff. Why do you have so much money?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, what's going on? Really?

[Sydney Washington]

Like, what do you mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

He said.

[Dwayne Perkins]

He said, google me, baby. I'm on IMDb. You know why?

[Sydney Washington]

I think they were just a little suspicious because I was like, I could pay for the whole year right now, right?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yo, he had me on speaker in the background. I said, oh, we not getting this.

[Stavros Halkias]

We not getting it, baby.

[Dwayne Perkins]

We just Cuss your. Walk away.

[Stavros Halkias]

Listen, I know how that goes. When I was looking at apartments, I had, like, multiple brokers. Be like, you can afford this place. Right? Because I just came looking exactly like this. I'm not going to. I'm not going to, you know, put. What am I going to put on a suit to look at? I'm looking exactly like this. I'm city biking over in a Hawaiian shirt and some athleisure, you know, and it's like, yeah, I can afford this incredibly expensive apartment.

[Sydney Washington]

Are the bank statements not enough?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

What do you want me to look like?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah, but the craziest thing is, is that the apartment was so far and flatbushed that it was like, what y' all are charging. You should be ashamed. Like, we're supposed to be in that neighborhood. And then they're looking at us. Well, looking at him like, so, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Why do you want to be here?

[Dwayne Perkins]

He's like, I own another property, sir, in another state. What's up?

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm putting your business on.

[Sydney Washington]

I think that's. That's where it came to me being like, landlord to landlord.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then, yeah, their expression completely changed. They're like, oh, brother.

[Sydney Washington]

Brother in arms. I know what we're doing.

[Dwayne Perkins]

He put his hat on. He's like now, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Good day, sir. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So, yeah, I think that. Well, we've been friends for a long time, and that. That moment definitely solidified it is because, you know, you don't know what a friend is gonna do with your paperwork. You don't know if they're gonna be a good roommate. And so I. Friendship means everything to me, and I just wanted to make sure everything was smooth, you know, And I'm not good with paperwork, and I'm not good with lying. So it was. It was rough.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. But you figured it out, Dwayne, A very brave man, you know, going into this. Going into this.

[Sydney Washington]

Some might say n.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I'm just saying maybe there's a reason it's so hard for you to get approved for all these things.

[Sydney Washington]

And, you know, I realize that. Absolutely.

[Stavros Halkias]

The system.

[Dwayne Perkins]

The system makes it hard. Let's get into it. No, because I've been working. I don't want it. Over 35 years. Over 35 years. And because I grew up in a neighborhood, in a family that. Oh, yeah, we didn't have money like that. As soon as I got money, I said, let's finish it.

[Sydney Washington]

Time out. You said you've been working for what time? What age did you start working.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Oh, right away. Yeah, right away.

[Stavros Halkias]

Out of the womb.

[Sydney Washington]

Child labor. Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I was babysitting babies when I was.

[Sydney Washington]

I've been doing this and I think that makes it worse if you've been working for that long and still.

[Stavros Halkias]

I.

[Sydney Washington]

Don'T think that's helping.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yo.

[Dwayne Perkins]

There was a moment where I was getting my paperwork together and I said, well, assets my titties 10,000 years recently. I will knock this fucking water.

[Stavros Halkias]

I will commit crying here with you.

[Sydney Washington]

Hey.

[Stavros Halkias]

He said, I think they're holding up well, but there's some depreciation.

[Dwayne Perkins]

That's all I'm saying.

[Sydney Washington]

Does that account for insation?

[Dwayne Perkins]

You know, I'm let you have that. You always say we making jokes about you. I'm not even going to do it cuz we can see you. So I'm not, I'm not going to do you like you trying to do me right now.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm just trying to help you get your, your books in order. That's it.

[Sydney Washington]

You were an account.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, exactly. I've learned something about balancing the books. That's good though. I do. And, and I want to say just on the record, I am staunchly in favor of fake titties. That's one of my big. That's one of my big passion projects, you know? Really? Really. Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Well, I just want to let you know because of the economy titties, the value has gone down. Nobody is sharing about titties.

[Stavros Halkias]

You think so? Because we.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Because like look at, look at Sydney Sweeney, the other Sydney.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, of course, the two Sydneys. Sure, sure.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Like bouncy, like right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Supple, Pretty sick. Very nice.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

She's also well talented. Well was or.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, sure.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But she was having to sell her bath water.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was a while. That was an interesting move. Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Titties are down.

[Sydney Washington]

That's the thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

I hate to say that.

[Sydney Washington]

I don't know if it was a have to. I think her titties are up. That's why she can't sell her bath.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah, no, no, because if, if say for when Holly Berry's at her peak.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, peak.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I'm talking about when titties valued. Didn't she get like how much swordfish.

[Stavros Halkias]

For swordfish for sword.

[Dwayne Perkins]

She was in there for like what, 20 minutes.

[Sydney Washington]

That's because she didn't show her titties.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, she did.

[Sydney Washington]

No, she did show her titties up until then.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right, right.

[Sydney Washington]

So that was like a reveal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely. That was more. That was market. That was market manipulation on Halle Berry's. Part. Whereas Sydney Sweeneys and euphoria and everything.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So it was like, hey girl, we didn't seen that. So what else you got?

[Stavros Halkias]

But I think I actually do think tits are back, actually.

[Sydney Washington]

I agree.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think we're in a. It's the way when baggy. When baggy pants came back, big tits came back. It used to be a slim jeans, big ass era.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I do think we have now moved on to big pants, big tits.

[Sydney Washington]

Yes. It's the balance.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think so. Because you can't see a fat ass in baggy pants. So you can see big tits. You gotta set em. Titties. Exactly, exactly.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Well, I think it's just moving towards fascism. You know, soon everything is gonna be covered.

[Stavros Halkias]

I. This is, this is a big problem for me. Cause people have said that asses are more left identify as left leaning, but big tits are more of a conservative thing. And that pisses me off because I'm a staunch leftist who loves huge tits. And I don't, I don't necessarily agree with that.

[Sydney Washington]

I don't either. I think that ass is more conservative.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Sydney Washington]

You put it in the hole when you're trying to avoid premarital sex.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting. The gay man is speaking by pure functional reasons. Yeah, yeah. Not aesthetic. I was thinking aesthetic. Yeah. You're saying it's kind of like when a. When a. When like a Christian girl's like, well, I'm still a virgin, I get my ass. Which is maybe the craziest logic in the world, you know?

[Sydney Washington]

Is it because sex is made for reproduction? Right. So if you are not producing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Sydney Washington]

Then sure. Not of God.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So they say. So they say.

[Sydney Washington]

And that's why they don't like gay people. Because it's always in a booty.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Always. Lesbians.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

We, you know, we get our periods at home.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

I just thought that there was like kind of like a sister to sister. Like we get it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right. Oh, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

What are we, men? We're not gonna. On our periods.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, you know, kind of that. No. Interesting.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I'm at that age where it's like.

[Sydney Washington]

Kind of like frothing.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No. I don't know. For me.

[Sydney Washington]

Do you know what frothing is?

[Dwayne Perkins]

I don't. What's frothing?

[Sydney Washington]

We're.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, fro. Is it frothing?

[Sydney Washington]

Is it? Because frothing sounds worse.

[Stavros Halkias]

Frothing sounds way worse. It's the. When you put. It's like dick smashed together. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

You're, like, using, like, cum. Oh, wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe that is froth, right?

[Eldest]

Yeah, frothing sounds like a pre cum kind of thing. Correct me if I'm wrong, kind of.

[Sydney Washington]

And then if somebody is like, I'm sorry, I bought it up.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I mentioned it.

[Stavros Halkias]

A big mistake. Sid, you can't swim in these waters.

[Sydney Washington]

If somebody's like, uncut, you can put your dick in there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Foreskin. Sort of a dock. Docking station.

[Dwayne Perkins]

And this is why y' all are sick.

[Stavros Halkias]

Y'. All.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I mean, y'.

[Stavros Halkias]

All.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Everybody in the room except what other.

[Sydney Washington]

Marginalized group are you going to hate?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Everybody can get it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Anybody can get it.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Just let. You're on a roll. Equal opportunity.

[Sydney Washington]

You really are giving Kanye.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I have no money to be Kanye. You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's all that's stopping you?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're the assets away.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I think when you don't have any money and you're saying things, people are just like, well, you're poor. Like, of course you hate this and that and you hate your life.

[Stavros Halkias]

So that's everything. That is not me.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I love my life right now. I love projects, projecting just a little bit.

[Stavros Halkias]

You do seem to be in more of a positive place overall.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I am. I am. Well, okay, let's. We had a summer where Dwayne was like, let's do hard 75. Explain.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's. Yeah. What's.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, yeah, I just wanted to change my life.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's dieting. What is it exactly? Can you walk us through it? Bullet point.

[Dwayne Perkins]

He ain't never heard nothing about. Explain it to him like, he's five.

[Sydney Washington]

It's a 75 day commitment to betterment. So you're supposed to, like, follow, like, a diet. You're supposed to, like, exercise twice a day. Supposed, like twice a day. And one of the workouts have to be, like, outside. So it's like, okay, get a little.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sun, a little sunlight.

[Sydney Washington]

I think that's about it, right?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah. And the diet is just whatever you want it to be. So for me, I was like, oh, no caffeine, no juice, no soda, no fried food.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Sydney Washington]

And yours was, I didn't know, like, processed sugars, no carbs, no fried foods.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Sydney Washington]

I think that was it.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah. And you, you had to drink a gallon of water a day.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So we walked around with these, like, military, like, canteens. Like, it looked like we were, you know, going to war or camp.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Either or. And so this is what we did every single day. And I had my summer. I was miserable. I Was miserable.

[Sydney Washington]

One time I walked on the train and I had the bottle, and this woman laughed and pointed at me and was like, that's a big ass bottle. Then the train car started laughing and I was like, I've never felt poor.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, that's the most middle school single time.

[Sydney Washington]

I was like, oh, no, I gotta get off. This is not my style.

[Stavros Halkias]

You galvanized the community against your water bottle.

[Sydney Washington]

I think you look fucking stupid.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Every time I went somewhere, they're like, oh, you like water? Okay, we get it. It's like, okay, well, you, you, you dry.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, obviously you don't like water. Right, Right.

[Sydney Washington]

But it. It did work.

[Stavros Halkias]

It did. It did. You feeling better?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Not now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not now, but for a week after the hard 75.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah, we went hard the same way. We went hard for 75. We went hard. The rest, just like sugar.

[Sydney Washington]

It was a hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

You did a soft, soft 25 after the hard 75.

[Sydney Washington]

No, that would have been smarter. It would have.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah, it would have. And then I actually, actually was like, I had went so deep, deep, deep, that I was like, I'm gonna do hard 75 again. And then I did a week of it again. I said, I can't. I can't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right? Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

This is too much.

[Stavros Halkias]

It would become like a religious thing almost. It gave your life some shape and purpose.

[Dwayne Perkins]

It did. But then people were like, I'm scared.

[Stavros Halkias]

Will you.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Will you get into a cult? Like, no, that just feels like too much work.

[Stavros Halkias]

I can see it. Really?

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. If it was easy enough.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Dwayne Perkins]

It's not, though.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Because you have to follow directions.

[Stavros Halkias]

What if I'm not doing it? What if they house you? What if there's, like a nice communal meal? They take care of a lot of your base necessities.

[Dwayne Perkins]

When I was looking for an apartment.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. What if there's no Dwayne and someone's like, hey, come on into this house?

[Dwayne Perkins]

If I didn't get the apartment at the time I did, and the cult was like, come on. And we got. I would have done that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. That's what I'm saying. All right. Yeah, I like a cult. I like, you know, I think it's fun. The idea of starting one seems fun.

[Sydney Washington]

See, I'm very into that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Because it's like, you could just be like, oh, yeah, God said, I. I actually can't do any of the chores and I have to get head from all your wives. And then everyone's got to be like, well, if God said it. And you can be like, ah, this Is crazy. I can't believe he's saying this. Can you believe this guy? But we gotta do it. We gotta do it or we don't get to go to Jupiter or whatever the fuck we believe.

[Dwayne Perkins]

See, that's how. I know you don't watch the documentaries. That's not how cult leaders are 100%. That's not how they are. First of all, they talk as if they're like. I'm like you.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then that's how it starts.

[Dwayne Perkins]

That's how it starts. But then they, you know, gain their trust and get people when they're at their weakest, and then that's when they elevate and they're like, oh, I actually.

[Sydney Washington]

More than all of you. I'm not. You thought I was like you, but I'm actually ascended.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I'm actually an alien.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that's the thing, though. That's. You start being an everyman. And I would be so good at that. I would be really good at that.

[Sydney Washington]

Really?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

And why would you say that?

[Stavros Halkias]

Just. Cause the very. The very things that you mock, you know, make me very. I'm very. I'm just a regular guy. I'm just some fat guy bald, you know?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Well, you have hair.

[Stavros Halkias]

I do have you to thank you. I kind of tricked you into saying you fell into my tr. I have that. I have that now on record that you.

[Eldest]

Powers of persuasion here.

[Stavros Halkias]

See that? See how quickly being a cult leader works?

[Sydney Washington]

Manipulation.

[Stavros Halkias]

I could get you to say I have hair. What else could I get you to do, you know? Sure, sure, sure.

[Sydney Washington]

Head butthole.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Not immediately. You know, at first, we're learning how to cook stews or whatever, and then six, seven weeks in, I'm like, all right, guys, this is crazy. But I have to everybody.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Which is crazy because it's just like, how down and out. Not you not saying you gotta. Everybody, but just these leaders that have eight, ten.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Wives.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I don't get it. Like, the girls have to be looking at each other like, can you believe we're this dude?

[Stavros Halkias]

But you're in that. You're like. You're so in that. That, like, mind frame where, like, this is the coolest guy in the world, and it's actually a privilege and we're getting closer to whatever they believe. And it must be fun to just make something up and make people believe it. You got to be like. At certain point, you gotta be like, I can't believe this is working.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, it's just like a very, very long improv Scene.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Or AI. AI.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hey, what.

[Dwayne Perkins]

AI is getting me, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

Getting me bad.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yo, the bunny rabbits on the trampoline. I said, it looks real. Then I saw the bear. I said, nah, it can't be the bear. There's no way. But then I watched the videos with all these animals doing kooky weird. I said, it could be that.

[Sydney Washington]

I would say. I sent a video to a friend and said, oh, AA has to be stopped. And it was a video of Stephen Hawkins using his wheelchair on, like, a skateboard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, hell, yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And then he, like, went up and then fell. And then, like, people came to, like, like, help him go, well, first of.

[Dwayne Perkins]

All, Stephen Hawkins was not that cool. He wouldn't get on a skateboard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, no. He was using the chair down the ramp, his wheelchair.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Oh.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which would be cool if they made those. If they made extreme wheelchairs. Put little rockets on it. You can do little flips.

[Eldest]

There's an awesome one of him on BattleBots.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's in, like, the BattleBots.

[Sydney Washington]

That's cool.

[Dwayne Perkins]

As I went live, I went there live. I saw it in Vegas.

[Sydney Washington]

It was dope.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really? You watched BattleBots?

[Sydney Washington]

I was like, paraplegic there.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No, it was just the. It was just the. The robots battling each other. It was very cheesy. Also, I was in Vegas. I had been there for pretty much a week. I was low down and out, and I said, oh, I was doing spots at the comedy seller. Yeah. So it was like, oh, this is a little treat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You want to see something?

[Sydney Washington]

Are they, like, big? Are they small?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Some of them are really big. Some of them are really small. It's actually pretty interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I watch BattleBots actually. It's pretty sick. It is.

[Sydney Washington]

What's the venue? Is it just, like, a room? Like, I've never, like.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No, it gives warehouse. It's like, where.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

And it's very performative, like the host and everybody's involved. You're like, yeah. And then you're like this. And it's just like, hey, this person is in a jumpsuit. They're just here at 2pm they don't. They're not that excited.

[Stavros Halkias]

BattleBots Madness.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Got the free tickets. Just in the audience. Audience chilling.

[Sydney Washington]

Have you ever been to a monster truck rally? Are they like, oh, yeah, I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's more pomp and circumstance to a monster truck rally. There's more people there.

[Sydney Washington]

I went to one of those for the first time. It was so loud.

[Stavros Halkias]

Loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And I said, that would make sense. I didn't Realize. And I was like, why is everybody wearing earmuffs? Oh, my God. Crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, but it is sick. I do like it.

[Sydney Washington]

I had a good time. Cars are flipping.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, it.

[Sydney Washington]

It gave a weird vibe a little bit because of the demographic, but.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah. Because I was like, I don't know if I would want to be in amongst the crowd.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, yeah. What was BattleBots like?

[Dwayne Perkins]

It was kids. It was mad kids there, parents just like, being supportive. And then at the end of the matinee. Yeah, but at the end of the show, they're like, oh, we're trying to get more like kids to be a part of, you know, the creative arts and engineering. So they have like, they sell at the end. That's actually like, oh, yeah, we should sign up. We should support BattleBots, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Stavros Halkias]

One time I. I was in Greece with my friends and we were. We had done. We done mushrooms and we were swimming in the ocean. It was a great day. And we saw like signs for like this magician and we were like, oh, it'll be cool. Like a fucking Vegas, you know, like, we're on shrooms. It'll be fucking sick. And we're just. It's super hot. We're tripping and we're just like, fuck, we gotta make it to the. Like, we're running late. We're like rushing to get. We get out of the beach, we go to the magic show and we show up. We go. We're like, oh, we just made it. We get there and it is just so Clearly a show for like babies. It's like a magician that's like, ooh, like doing shit like this. It's like, oh.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Mushrooms.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're like. It was like parents and like Max, an 8 year old. We were just the oldest people without children. It was crazy because we're also like. Our pupils are huge. We're just like. It's just like three guys being like, oh, dude. He's step. His big finisher was stepping on glass. Like, he just. He was just like, ah. And he was like. He's like not even doing like a good job. He. His assistant was like helping him. So it was just like he was barely stepping on the glass. It wasn't even magic. It was just a guy kind of floating above the glass. And when he touched, he'd be like, ah, an actor.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I love that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

The trick to not be in pain.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It was up, but it was a great. It was a beautiful experience.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Well, I will say this about magicians. At first I was like, they're so cheesy. But I actually like the cheesy magicians. And I'm annoyed at the people that are like, David Blaine, who takes it way too seriously, being cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh.

[Dwayne Perkins]

And you know, he's. He's attractive. You know, like, the girls go crazy for him.

[Sydney Washington]

Is that really?

[Stavros Halkias]

I didn't know that about David. Yeah. Oh, I guess he was, wasn't he? No, no, no, no, no posse.

[Dwayne Perkins]

The girls would go crazy for him.

[Sydney Washington]

Like, disappeared.

[Dwayne Perkins]

2011, 2012. He used to come into the. The bar that I worked at, and when I tell you, obnoxious. We're having a good time. All you hear is broken glass. And so. And he's chewing on glass in the middle of the fucking bar. And we're like, dude, get out of here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who's gonna clean this up?

[Dwayne Perkins]

We're like, who's gonna clean this? He's eating more glasses. Can you please stop? You're scaring the hose.

[Stavros Halkias]

Clean up. What?

[Sydney Washington]

You're scared.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You're scaring the hose.

[Sydney Washington]

Stop it.

[Stavros Halkias]

David Blaine's scared the hoes by eating glass, huh?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah. But then once again, no. Well, obviously they're scared in the moment, but then afterwards he's going to the bathroom and these. So can you chew on something else? Like you just dumb.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Was there anybody else? I mean, I know you've told a couple stories, but, like, is there anybody. Non. The non. I know you told the Jim Carrey story, I feel like. But is there anybody else? Like David Blaine? I didn't think about Is there, like, a random celebrity who got more of an interaction or, like, more of a reaction than anybody would have thought? Because David Blaine kind of surprised me that he was that big. Is there anybody else that we're missing in 2011?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Huge.

[Sydney Washington]

Like a Carrot Top or something, buddy. More Vegas people.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No, they. No, there was, like, a big, like, private party. So it was a lot of celebrity, like Kate Moss. A whole. Like, a whole bunch.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was.

[Dwayne Perkins]

It was very beige.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Dwayne Perkins]

And so, you know, I'm there. I'm just happy to be there. But I don't know. Everybody who's famous. I don't know. Everybody's legendary.

[Stavros Halkias]

Famous people hate that. They hate when you treat them like a regular person.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Well, no, I remember one time Bono came in and obviously, I know who you are.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But he's like, I can't help it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your shitty songs are on my phone. I didn't ask for it. Remember that? Why the. They put a U2 album on every iPhone.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You guys listen. You guys act like you were, you know, touched. It was just music. Don't make it that big of a deal.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was annoying. You two sucked.

[Dwayne Perkins]

They didn't ask for my consent.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Dwayne Perkins]

As a man, you should relate. Okay, That's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Y' all go do. So. Okay, so because other men rape, I have to listen to you too?

[Dwayne Perkins]

First of all, that's us taking the power back.

[Stavros Halkias]

That seems like a horrible trade off. I would. I would try for, like, police reform before you make us listen to shitty music. But, hey, whatever you say.

[Sydney Washington]

What if some people rape? Everybody should be raped.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I did not say.

[Sydney Washington]

Basically, essentially.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I never said that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Anyway, Bono's in there.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Bono's in there, and he's, like, playing pool. He's ordering a mojito at 2pm on a Sunday. Kind of strange, but he's talking to me and I'm like, yeah, you know I work here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I was like, I'm Sydney. He's like, and I'm Bono. I'm like, yeah, dude, yeah, Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I knew that.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Like, I saw you here the other night with all the ZZ Top. And like, every time ZZ Top, yo, they put me on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yo, listen, we got ass beards.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yes. It was crazy. And people were going crazy. I was like, this guy needs a haircut. They look dusty. But I think the craziest story was allegedly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Please.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Somebody was doing cocaine right out on the table, and they took a wet straw and started. I was like, sir, go home. And it was allegedly sting.

[Sydney Washington]

What did they do with the wet straw?

[Dwayne Perkins]

I was like, you have to get out of it. They took it out of the.

[Stavros Halkias]

To do coke with it. Yeah. And you're just gumming it up. You just have like a weird coke paste guy.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Get out of here. Your shirt is bad. You're too.

[Stavros Halkias]

He was probably all backed up. He had nut for like two months or whatever. You know, Sting likes to. For like 12 hours or like three days straight and not nut.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Allegedly. But then I was making a big single. I was like, can you please this. That look like. Hey, it's Sting. He does what he wants.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. You ever heard of Desert Rose?

[Dwayne Perkins]

They didn't put that on my ipod.

[Sydney Washington]

I like, know the name Sting, but if somebody showed me a picture, I. I couldn't tell you who.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No. Yeah, there was tons of people that were like, these. You should know who these people are.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was like, no, I shouldn't.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah, I was like, I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Genuine. Sure.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Of course. I know Chingy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, chingy.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know Holiday is. I know Murphy.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I know Murphy Lee from the St.

[Stavros Halkias]

Lunatic. I'd recognize that half a mask anywhere. Is that the Black Phantom of the Opera? Wow, what an era. The Saint Lunatics days. That's. Yeah, that is. Did you have any. There he is.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You know, it's crazy because I feel like he got hotter later.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting. He did have a run as. Which is. Yeah, it is very funny.

[Dwayne Perkins]

That's him looking better.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Without the mask, you think?

[Dwayne Perkins]

He was not a bad looking guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I was.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I was really into that. But then someone told. I remember going on a podcast and saying Murphy Lee was hot and they were like, I could see why you're a lesbian.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is true. Bring him back up. He does that with stud.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, okay.

[Dwayne Perkins]

My diaper. Holy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Call me a clean shaven. Pull up. Clean shaven Murphy Lee. Yeah, it looks like somebody's aunt. Yeah, well, you can't. Oh, why is Hulk Hogan coming up?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Anyway, whatever. Who gives? Yeah, we'll move on. Anywho. Whatever. Interesting. Dwayne, do you never had any jobs where you had weird interactions with celebrity? I mean, I guess now. Now you're actually in a bunch of movies.

[Dwayne Perkins]

He's a celebrity.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course.

[Sydney Washington]

Of course.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know.

[Sydney Washington]

Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, we got. Did you. What were your jobs before? Because you. You were pretty much. You were like. I feel like you were working pretty young in. In comedy and stuff, but you. What were your, like, jobs?

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, I worked at a sandwich shop and then I got promoted within the sandwich in the corporate offices.

[Stavros Halkias]

Say the name. Wow.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Say the name.

[Sydney Washington]

It was potbelly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I'm like, don't just say any sandwich shop.

[Stavros Halkias]

Belly is good. Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And then they hired me an interior designer, so, I mean, I've decorated pipelines across the country.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is truly one of the gayest promotions I could possibly. I've. I've ever heard. It's like, to be making sandwiches. Be like, you've got it, kid. We need you to.

[Sydney Washington]

They literally said, we need like, a. Like a young, hip person. I said, me. And then they hired me.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Ball down and get the. This is some curtain. You'll be better with Tapestry.

[Sydney Washington]

And I was great at it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Your talents are being wasted on provolone.

[Sydney Washington]

And then once I was done, they sent me back to the sandwich.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. Really? Damn.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You had to go back?

[Sydney Washington]

And then I had to quit. I said, you can't change life. Go back.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

That's emotional.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm picking out antique chalkboards to write the sandwich specials on one day, and I'm supposed to make them the next. No, thank you.

[Sydney Washington]

I used to do On Demand, like, laundry service for, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Sydney Washington]

They were weird, generally. Totally.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally. Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

What do you mean?

[Sydney Washington]

Look like. They were just.

[Stavros Halkias]

The interactions are strange.

[Sydney Washington]

They were. They were strange. One. One guy I thought was going to kill me because he. Because, like, usually they just, like, leave it and you, like, pick it up. And he was like, come inside my house. And I was like, for what? And then he was like, come inside my closet. And I said, no.

[Dwayne Perkins]

What were you wearing?

[Sydney Washington]

The uniform.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Oh, okay. Because I'm like, what do you think I was wearing? I'm saying, if you're looking like this, you come to my door. I'm like, well, come in.

[Sydney Washington]

I was wearing a black shirt.

[Stavros Halkias]

He thought it was a pornography situation.

[Sydney Washington]

Looking like a valet.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But a cute one.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. I worked at a production company. I worked at, like, a tech company. I've had so many.

[Stavros Halkias]

Tech company. Interesting.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. It was a company called Tech Week and they put on, like, a tech conference and they used to, like, sit on, like, those big balls. It was just like. It felt like I was like a TV show.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And that was.

[Stavros Halkias]

They probably had a bunch of free snacks.

[Sydney Washington]

So many catered lunch. Steel. Yeah. It was the best.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Why would you still. If it's just out. Is this not stealing if there's like, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's doing.

[Sydney Washington]

Once you take it from the place and bring it to your home.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, it's backpack full of Chips Ahoy and stuff like that. Popcorners. I thought it was.

[Dwayne Perkins]

They're free for all.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, no. You're not supposed to just take as much as you can.

[Sydney Washington]

And I would take more than snacks. Yeah, I'm stealing supplies. They gave me a lot. A laptop, I tried to keep. Listen, I was young and had the money. Big businesses.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Give us the laptop, dude. What are you gonna do with this? Dell? Like.

[Sydney Washington]

Like, don't steal from people, but a corporation, baby.

[Stavros Halkias]

Take it. We're taking. Absolutely. We're big on stealing from corporations.

[Dwayne Perkins]

That's what they have, like, loss prevention and insurance for, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So take it.

[Stavros Halkias]

I agree.

[Sydney Washington]

Loss prevention, like. Oh, I also worked at JCPenney.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

That was my first job.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

I was a greeter at the mall.

[Stavros Halkias]

A greeter at JCPenney. Wow, that's an upscale JCPenney.

[Sydney Washington]

Yep. And it was in very diverse neighborhoods. I would try to say hi in, like, different languages based on what I assumed. That's why I didn't keep the job for long.

[Stavros Halkias]

Positive racial profiling. Like.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So we're going to have to let.

[Sydney Washington]

You know, I want them to feel like they are at home.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah, you're like Kitua.

[Sydney Washington]

Just making guesses.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No, that was a black man. Sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

So funny.

[Sydney Washington]

Based off your features, I think you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Grew up in Chicago, right? Or. Yeah. Drumo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking hilarious.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Damn. You have had a lot of jobs, Stabby. What about you? You see, our people, we know how to work. What have you done?

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I. I never let on rich guys until I could get thousands of dollars out of them. I never did that. I just kind of worked with my hands. Blue collar. Worked at a machine shop. I worked at a block. But one of the last blockbusters when I was in college. That was pretty fun.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You definitely give Blockbuster energy.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was. Yeah. I really enjoyed that. I learned they never. When they send you to collections, they don't actually. They just threaten you with phone calls. They don't actually send you to collections of Blockbuster. They make it seem like they do. They send you a bill that looks like you've been sent to collections. But they told me we never actually send anyone to collections. So I just stole like fucking 20 DVDs on the way out. I was like, oh, sick. I'm just gonna keep these. I worked at a machine. Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Does that work for a lot of places or. It was just.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's over now. Blockbusters don't.

[Eldest]

No, no, no.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But I'm saying, are they. Are you really in collections or they're like, just trying to scare you.

[Stavros Halkias]

I bet you some places trying to Scare you. But I don't know.

[Sydney Washington]

There are ways you can get out of it because.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Tell me.

[Sydney Washington]

Some people are not supposed to like, sell like your information to third party places. Yeah, just like, well, they fuss about it. You can really. I've gotten some. A lot of things handled.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So you do. How did you get my number?

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, sue you. But you know, like, you can do like, claims. My. I. I did it. I saw it on TikTok and I did it for my student.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really?

[Sydney Washington]

And it works now. That's why my credit score is so good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Wait, that happened to me. They sold. They sold my, my student loans too.

[Sydney Washington]

And then there was. And then if there's like, like data leak or something, you could be like, fraudulent.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Wait, can you help me when we get home?

[Sydney Washington]

But it's only on like two out of like, only on like some of them. Because some of the credit unions, didn't they say go yourself?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

So on certain credit, my credit is like 800 some, and on some is like 6 some something. And I just don't tell people about that one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. Oh, no reason to.

[Sydney Washington]

So we're the same.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, I wouldn't say that.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Well, I just want you to know that I am an authorized user. So I'm getting up there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good for you.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

Authorized user of what?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Of my partners. My partner's mx.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Dwayne Perkins]

To get my credit up.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's good.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Why was it so short? Let it go long.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let it go.

[Sydney Washington]

Wait, what is that? You could just put this up and somebody else. His credit card.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you actually get like a credit boost from that?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yes, you do, because now I have a higher credit limit. And also, you know, she's. She's paying it off on time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course. Of course.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you're building credit the way you build like a child's credit. You're on your dad's credit card or.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Whatever just because your bum ass had to work hard and I just had to be myself. Charisma and all, and loving and who worked hard.

[Stavros Halkias]

I got rich off podcasting. Oh, you had to work comedy. I hit a lottery myself.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You did?

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I mean, you had to be a part of something. What's called cometown.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Dwayne Perkins]

It's crazy.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is true. That is true. Yeah. I guess come indirectly helped us all, you know, we all got there somehow.

[Sydney Washington]

I immediately went by like.

[Dwayne Perkins]

See, you said it.

[Stavros Halkias]

You said it feels nice to hear it, you know, Feels old. Old fashioned.

[Sydney Washington]

I reclaimed it. It's mine to you.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Do you know who his listeners are? They're like, well, Dwayne Perkins.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no. They don't think they get the pass. They don't think so.

[Sydney Washington]

They don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

They've moved on.

[Dwayne Perkins]

They have. They're actually. They always say really nice things, that you're a bit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Everybody.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah. Some of them are like, she's loud. She's not even that hot.

[Stavros Halkias]

This first one, I think you're hot, but you don't think you're loud.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Oh, no. I think I project my voice. I just want you guys to know I was a youth Insight in the Whitney Museum when I was in high school, so I used to give tours to senior citizens and kids. And I know how to. To speak from the diaphragm.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Sydney Washington]

Tour suit. That was one of my jobs.

[Stavros Halkias]

I could see that.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Look at that.

[Sydney Washington]

Tours.

[Dwayne Perkins]

What do you have Where?

[Stavros Halkias]

I've never given a tour. I worked at a Sherwin Williams paint store for. For a year and a half.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Were you huffing paint?

[Stavros Halkias]

I was not. But I would steal, you know, when somebody up paint, I would just take it. Yeah. You know, what would you do with it? My brother was an artist. He would use it, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You should start with that. Lead with that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, I'll lead with it. I also want to say we're going to do some questions too, but I want to say, Dwayne, I love the Blackening. We never. I wanted to talk about it. The movie. The movie was so good. And it was just. And when I was like, I made an independent movie and seeing that, I was. That was like a real inspiration because I was like, these are, you know, people that, you know, like, obviously you had a career and people knew you, but it's hard to make a fucking movie. And it was just so cool to see. It was so fun. If you guys haven't seen It's Perfect Time, it's like, you know, you know, spooky season. Go watch the Blackening.

[Sydney Washington]

Streaming on Netflix.

[Stavros Halkias]

On Netflix. And that, that movie, I mean, it's just very funny. And I mean, the tagline was also. I mean, it's the kind of movie where you hear the title and then the tagline being like, we can't all die first is just so perfect, you know. Exactly. The movie or the movie you're in for. And it's just like, yeah, there's never a movie where horror movie where it's all black people. It's always someone is always the sacrificial lamb. And it was very funny to see a bunch of different sort of archetypes in a horror movie just sort of in. In. In their own movie. You know what I mean? It was. It was awesome. And it was very. Well, the twists are great. It's just very, very funny. Really good. Really good movie. So I wanted to give you.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Get off his dick. Because the way you explain your own movie.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm sorry, Sidney, what was your movie? Okay, I apologize after I. We'll. We'll do the one. The independent comedy you wrote, Boat, and start in. Maybe we can start there. You're kind of talking to two filmmakers here. Sorry if you kind of. If we were moving too fast for you.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You know what?

[Stavros Halkias]

No.

[Sydney Washington]

We can talk about stand up.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Maybe you're over you. Marie was like, yeah, bring. Get Dwayne in there. She called you and be like. So when you get there, do the switcheroo. Switch up on her.

[Sydney Washington]

This was only a response. Your response to the response.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No, it is an amazing movie.

[Sydney Washington]

Thank you. Most people don't know, like, it is, like. It was a parallel to, like, being, like, in comedy spaces.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And being like, the token. And then I did a show with all black people and was like, hey.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, why don't we do this don't happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And it was. I'm so glad it happened the way that it happened.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Sydney Washington]

So thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because you wrote it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just like. And the cast is incredible, too. I mean, everybody's so fucking funny. But, yeah, go watch them. Go watch the. Watch the movie, guys. Just a nice plug for it.

[Sydney Washington]

Thanks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you working on others? Are you. I mean, I know you're on the studio, which is fucking great. Yeah, very funny. You're great in that. Are you working on other stuff? Are you writing other.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm writing the sequel.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, hell yeah. Well, if you needed an evil white guy, you know what I mean?

[Sydney Washington]

We always need people to kill.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'd love to be killed in the Blackening, too. It would be an honor to have a gruesome death so long that screaming. All right, sweet. Well, listen, watch out for that. And I just wanted to. Because I love the movie and. And let's. But we have, you know, a wealth of. Not of, like, life experience on this couch. So it's time to help our callers. So why don't we. Why don't we play some calls here? Eldest. Ah, holiday shopping. Here's how it goes, folks, okay? You tell yourself you'll be thoughtful. Panic at the last minute. Now you're buying a gift card this year. Skip the panic. And give an aura frame. We're talking unlimited free photo and video uploads. Just download the Aura app, connect to Wi Fi and start adding memories in seconds. Every gift can be personalized with a custom message that appears when it's first turned on. A thoughtful touch for any occasion. Maybe you want to tell. Maybe you want to remind your brother he still owes you $40. You could write that. Doesn't have to be thoughtful. You could say, hey, I bought the tickets to see Avatar last year. How about you pay, you get them this year? Maybe that could be your holiday message. It depends. I'm excited. I have gotten almost every member of my family an aura frame this year. My dad is getting one. That's right, Pop. Get ready to see pictures of me and Eldis on the road for a limited time. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code STAVI at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code STAVI S T A V V Y. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

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[Stavros Halkias]

Hurry.

[Commercial Announcer]

Cyber Monday deals and Monday shop [e-mail] Best Buy. Imagine that.

[Caller]

Hi, Savi.

[Stavros Halkias]

Love you.

[Caller]

Love the pod. I have a very specific question.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Caller]

So I have a boyfriend. We've been together like nine months. Things are going very well. He's very nice to me. It's like the best relationship I've been in so far. I will say he has a very strong personality. Like in general, I find with how people react to him, it can be kind of a love him or hate him situation.

[Dwayne Perkins]

He's an exact.

[Caller]

Yeah, very kind of show. He like especially in a group setting, he can be a little domineering, a little over the top. Just in general, you know. Some people think he's kind of an arrogant asshole. You know. I really don't think he is. He's kind of one, you know. And he's kind of different one on one and stuff, but like in a group setting, I can definitely understand why people feel that way. We live in a really small town where, like, everyone has an opinion about everybody, you know, so frequently it will get back to me that somebody has an issue with him or like, I talked shit about him or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you think that's through the grapevine.

[Caller]

Of like, somebody else, you know, having some kind of. It never anything really serious, but just kind of like, oh, that guy's an asshole kind of thing. And their opinions don't really bother me. What am I questioned is good when I hear these things, Do I tell him was that I'm hearing other people? Do I tell them, oh, man, I heard through the grapevine that this person has a problem with you or whatever. Is there really no point, like, in the name of being a united front? I'm usually kind of inclined toward telling your partner basically everything. But at the same time, it seems not very helpful. Like, I don't personally, like, I don't even want to know when people are talking shit about me because I don't. I don't care. And it just kind of makes me feel bad. And so it's like, let them have their opinion, you know. At the same time, it has also happened that he genuinely believes that someone likes him and that they're good friends. And then I will hear through the grapevine that they can't stand him. And part of me thinks that he should know about that, like to help him save face socially, you know. So I don't know. Just tell me what you think. Like, when you. If people talk shit about your partner, is it an automatic tell your partner about it or not necessarily. And that's my question.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, did you have an immediate. It seemed like you this.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Why do they feel comfortable talking about your man? Clearly they're like, they're trying to plant little Easter eggs. Like, yo, he might not be a good guy, because why would you feel like I need to? Because it's like, tell him if you don't like him, what you going to her for?

[Stavros Halkias]

But it could be the kind of thing where she's saying it's through the grapevine. So it could be the kind of thing where somebody tells somebody tells somebody who is actually close to her. That's like, hey, just so you know, this guy's been talking shit on your boyfriend. I don't think it's directly. The person who hates her boyfriend is like, hey, your boyfriend's a fucking piece of shit. I think it's like, a couple steps removed.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I'm a woman. I'm telling you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. When.

[Dwayne Perkins]

When somebody's like, well, such and such said that your man's an asshole, it's like, well, I actually think that as well.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But I'm glad that somebody else said it to me.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're using them as the buffer. Yes. Yes.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Well, you know, that's a good point.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good point. Yeah, that. Yeah. Go ahead, Dwayne.

[Sydney Washington]

If I think that they're probably telling her so that they can tell him, so he can change, so that they can be a. So their experience can be better.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think you're giving. That's a very charitable read on the situation. I don't think they're hoping for a positive outcome. I think they think this guy's a piece of. And they don't care.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. But, like, I think, like, when you say that, I think there's, like, either two options, like, leave him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Sydney Washington]

Or, like, you should, like, make him better.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting. Yeah. I feel like I'm. I'm inclined to think they're very heavily on the leave him side, but I think it is possible that they're like, hey, can you maybe check this behavior? That could be part of it.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. Because, like, if he's not like. Because she's saying, like, oh, it's not like anything terrible. They're just like. They don't really fuck with him.

[Stavros Halkias]

But see, I'm. She's an unreliable narrator. Yes. Because it's. I think you're. You saying the dicks out of this world is probably correct.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Nine months. Nine months.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not.

[Dwayne Perkins]

That's not enough time for me to be like, well, because the thing is, is, like, how come she hasn't gone to him already?

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Because, like, if. If I'm in the. The whirlwind relationship that I'm in with this part, I'm immediately being like, yo, such and such talking about you. Yeah, we pillow talk. But if I'm hesitant and I'm like, there might be some validity to what she's hearing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. My initial reaction, like, the fact that her. She ends the call by being like. So my question is, when you hear people talking shit about your partner, do you tell them that's not really your issue? Your issue is, why the fuck is everybody talking shit about him? And is there, like, at a certain point, it becomes worthy of you being like, is everybody else right? You know what I mean?

[Sydney Washington]

I definitely think that's. That's what the Issue is, is like, oh, I just love an.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's true. And it's like, oh, that's interesting.

[Sydney Washington]

So what you gonna do about it? Because why are we talking about him?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

This is your life.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Different one on one. I, I understand that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Different one on one is one of the biggest red flags I've ever like men and women. It's like someone who's a. To everyone but they're nice to you. The person. They're. They don't really get credit for that in my opinion.

[Dwayne Perkins]

They're inside of you.

[Sydney Washington]

Duh.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I would hope that they're nice. See you while they're inside.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

At least they get it. I mean I guess there are plenty of who aren't even nice to their partner, but still, I don't know.

[Sydney Washington]

So it just feels like if she going to tell him the intent behind telling them. Like are you telling them to like Kiki like, oh, they they talking or are you saying like, hey, maybe you're an asshole.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Stop treating people like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd also love to know what it.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Is because she's like, he's arrogant and he's over the top domineering to space. So he probably cuts people off. He's probably. It's a small town. He'd probably be boasting about the like smallest. That it's like, all right, dude, hater, love.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Probably big fish, small pond situation he's got. Yeah, yeah. And he just rubs people the wrong way. Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But also those people could be small minded and just like basic folks and they are. You know, it's a small town.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

Bigger city. Then you have more.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

He won't be. Is big.

[Stavros Halkias]

I guess. I'd love to know.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Jealous. Maybe it's jealousy.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'd love to know how this actually manifests itself. Right. Is it like, is he just being straight up rude to people or is he just kind of like loud and boisterous? There's. There's a difference between, you know, acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior. And it's hard for us to tell without examples. But. Yeah, I don't know. I. Whether you should tell him or not. I probably would. I would definitely tell if I. Especially the social thing where he's like, he. Because part of this is he might not understand how much his behavior is negatively. Like he might think this is cool. Like he thinks people that are his friends, the people that he thinks are his friends are talking shit about him. He kind of needs to know those people don't like him because then he can be like, well, why. Why do they feel this way about me? And then he can actually think about his own behavior. Now, these people also are maybe cowards who should just tell this to his face. So it's like, no one here is coming out.

[Sydney Washington]

Well, that's what is giving a town full of snakes. Yeah, right. Ain't nobody really saying what they're supposed to be saying.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah, yes, that could be true. But I also know these people who, you know, I don't want to. On a spectrum, not really socially aware and like, they be marginalized group. No, no, no, no, no. We know these people. We know these people that. That use. You could see that the. That the group is uncomfortable. They said some things, and they're like, all right now. And they just keep going. It's like, you.

[Stavros Halkias]

You.

[Dwayne Perkins]

It doesn't matter if somebody's like, hey, stop. They're gonna keep going.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know. I would say in a relationship, I would probably tell my partner, Especially if they. They're cool with someone that's talking shit. I think you can't let them, like, make a fool of themselves. At a minimum, you know, like, you.

[Sydney Washington]

Have to tell them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But also, when people are talking, it's like, so what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell them or. Like. Because stop coming to me. Like, tell those people they need to speak to him about.

[Stavros Halkias]

True. Hey, if you have a problem with them, tell.

[Sydney Washington]

That's true.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because there's. There is too much ass. Behavior going on in this small town in this hamlet. All right, what else we got? Eldest.

[Caller]

What does. Stop. You greet God, and eldest, your loyal squire. I'm 27, live in the city that I grew up in and have a pretty large friend group where most of us also live in that city. We hang out pretty often. One of our very close friends, however, has taken up a habit over the last year or so of bailing on plans pretty much every time plans are made. He will even bail on plans that he himself initiated. Now, the speaker is truly, without fail. He blames his girlfriend for the bail every single time. You know, it's not just that, but he's presumably, like, creating elaborate and bizarre stories to accompany that. And so, you know, at one point, he said his girlfriend's brother, who lives in another state, had Covid. Another time, her lesbian aunt and her partner were visiting town, and there was traffic to get into the city, so he couldn't come.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just last weekend, he said, you know, all that Lesbian.

[Caller]

Sorry, I can't come. She has diarrhea.

[Commercial Announcer]

Wow.

[Caller]

Come to find out, she posted an Instagram story an hour later at an ice cream store. So basically none of us feel the dog about it, but it's easier to just kind of shrug, assume he won't show up. I mean, what would you do about this, though? It is frustrating. You know, on the off chance we do see him, everything's fine and great, but just feels like he does everything possible to not be our friend and see us.

[Sydney Washington]

Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller]

At what point would you approach him? At what point would you confront a guy like this? Would you just cut off the friendship?

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Appreciate your thoughts.

[Sydney Washington]

You're the best. Thanks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, this is. I think this is just classic 27. Thinning out the herd of your friends. You know what I mean? Like, at every age, you realize you kind of outgrow certain people. And this guy is he. If somebody cancels on you this many times, you just stop inviting them. At a certain point, you're like, I'm tired of this fucking. Like, I don't know. Is he, like, your best friend? Do you guys go? How far back do you go? He might just be 8. Year 27 is also a classic time where a lot of friends from, like, your 20s start to drop off. You know what I mean?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Nah. But 27 is like, we lit, we out. Let's go. Like, there should be no reason why. Nah, I got a girlfriend. We out. The girlfriend's out. We drinking, we partying.

[Sydney Washington]

What's good?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Like, it's summer. Summertime.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's what I'm saying. He doesn't want to be a part of that.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Was it snowing? Like, nobody is just making up excuses, especially at that young of age. It's like, we want to be outside.

[Sydney Washington]

I mean, I don't want to sound, like, not sympathetic, but there's a pattern of everybody being like, what's going on? Like, he's like, I'm not emboldened, y'.

[Stavros Halkias]

All.

[Sydney Washington]

If y' all don't jump him emotionally.

[Stavros Halkias]

As a group, like, what the.

[Sydney Washington]

Hello? And then also just show up with he at ambush. I think y' all need to match energies.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I like that.

[Sydney Washington]

Match energies and then just have fun with that. Cuz clearly he's having fun making up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It's really weird why he feels the need to make these. It's also very cowardly to hide behind your girlfriend. Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

So he may be hiding something.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I mean, he could be depressed.

[Sydney Washington]

I don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I mean, I guess if he's a good enough friend.

[Sydney Washington]

Crack.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, he's on crack. That's. That's another throwback. A throwback vice, I think. I think if he's a good enough friend, it merits, like, a direct conversation to be like, hey, man, what intervention? What the fuck's going on? Like, you don't come to anything. Like, you know, it's all good. Like, do you want to hang out? Like, something is. There's no way these excuse. Like, I always think he's talking about one of his best friends. I always, like, think if I like somebody, I'm as close with his eldest or somebody in, like, our friend group, we would be like, hey, man, what the fuck's going on? Like, what? And if. If you get another evasive sort of like, oh, nothing. Like, somebody's pretending. It's like, all right, that was your chance to explain yourself. And then it's like, you're just kind of. I don't need to see you. You don't want to hang out with me. I don't need to fucking hang out with you. And even said, it's a bigger group and all of them are all hanging out. So if this guy doesn't want to fucking save him the fucking mad. It's like he's playing mad libs with these excuses. It's like. Like a place a family member, an ailment. Oh, sorry. I had the flu at a Thai restaurant with my second cousin. I couldn't make it to the game.

[Sydney Washington]

You know, making plans and then bailing is diabolical.

[Dwayne Perkins]

People do that too. People do that too. And the. The best way to deal with those people is you just don't say nothing, and then you don't invite them, and then they're like, wait a minute. And it's like, you done already got blocked from the group, babe. You gonna have to reach out individually if you're not in the group group no more.

[Sydney Washington]

I definitely think friends, like, tell you what kind of friend that they are, and if you like them enough, you just adjust to the positioning. Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Sydney Washington]

So it's like, oh, that's just the. Like, I have a friend that, you know, like, oh, they just not gonna be on time. Or like, oh, the friend that we don't invite to certain things because they might fight people. They're just, like, knowing, like, who they are and be like, oh, that's just not the friend that we, like, go out with, of course. But, like, do y' all talk on the phone? Like, is that the friend that you just, like, talk on the phone.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure.

[Sydney Washington]

So just like, every friend can't be everything.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a good point. That's a good point. And. Yeah. And at the most extreme, it's like, a friend just might drop off too.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

If he. There might just be no part, you know, Especially if he's doing this weird shit, and that's okay, too. But. Yeah. Try. Give him a. I mean, I think it merits one conversation. See how he reacts. And then it's like, other than that, it's like, all right, well, then it. You don't. You just don't get an invite anymore.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. Because what if he's just doing a bit to be like my friends? Don't tell me the truth. I'm gonna see how far I can push him, make our friend group more open.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You think he's that smart?

[Sydney Washington]

I don't think I did that with my family once.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Well, you're a genius.

[Sydney Washington]

So I just kept, like, withholding, like, emotional, like, stuff to see if they would, like, do it. I actually did it with an ex where I was like, oh, this, like, is very passive. How far can I go? And I moved states to see if they would, like, like, bring it up, and they didn't. That's how I knew, like, okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love how you're like, they're crazy. Anyway, I'm going to be changing this zip code. My zip code. I'm going to. I need to get a new driver's license to teach him a lesson.

[Sydney Washington]

So maybe look inward. Maybe it's the friend group's phone.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true. It's very. It's possible, but I. My money's on this guy's a coward and a weird and weird.

[Sydney Washington]

And him personally and his girlfriend is not alive. He is. That's the secret.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's him with. Yeah, that's him with an AI filter and that line.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No, up.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's right. Keep it going.

[Caller]

Eldis Yosavi podcast. Just something I throw your guys' way. I've been listening to a lot of the Cliffs Channel recently, so maybe try. My brother is transgender.

[Sydney Washington]

We're.

[Caller]

I'm 30 years old. He's 32. So recently I was asked by him if I would donate some of my sperm to help the cause for him and his wife, you know, and very. Wasn't sure how to take it, you know, kind of odd thing to hear. My wife, you know, of course, she felt very conflicted on how to feel about it because didn't involve her at all. Just kind of called me on a random Sunday. Anyways, let me know what you all think. Ended up saying no, you know, after telling him that. I was thinking about it for a little bit, but, yeah. Anyways, let me know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting. Why did you say, I don't know? I don't think it's that weird person.

[Sydney Washington]

I was just about to say, is it weird that I don't think that's weird at all?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I'm just like, shared DNA. He can't biologically get his wife pregnant, so he's like, why don't I get the next closest DNA match? He doesn't ask you to fuck his wife. He wasn't like, hey, can you nut my wife? He was just like, can we do this? Like, I don't actually think this is weird, to be honest with you. You have the opposing view.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I'm put out there that it's a little weird. Okay, it's a little weird because. Yeah, why you didn't include his wife?

[Sydney Washington]

I don't think that's what I.

[Dwayne Perkins]

And no, I'm not getting on a phone call about this. You take me to dinner.

[Stavros Halkias]

I kind of agree with you. Order.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You order some app.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You get an entree.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now we're overdoing it. I was with you after that, and.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You'Re like, so, by the way, you feeling good?

[Stavros Halkias]

You're full. Good.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Now, y', all, I was thinking, right, I'mma need some of y', all, you know, baby juice so I can procreate with my family. And it's the same DNA and just like, explain it so it make everybody.

[Sydney Washington]

Feel comfortable because it feels like they're floating the idea. Yeah. And not necessarily being like, this is an official ask, but you've been like, hey, like, is that a thing that you would be comfortable with? And I see why I wouldn't want to ask my brother and his wife at the same time. I want to ask the person I am related to to be like, hey, how you feel. And if the answer is like, oh, I'm cool with that. And then I'm like, okay, then we should discuss it with your wife. Yeah, I. I actually.

[Stavros Halkias]

I could see. I see your point too, but I actually. I do see what you're saying, Sydney, where it's like. Like you want to kind of make it feel like a family decision because it's like, if he was single or even not, not married. Maybe I'm with you, Dwayne. Where it's like, if he wasn't. But Mary does feel like it's kind of her jizz too. You know what I Mean, it's like they have kids.

[Sydney Washington]

Respect marriage.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's true.

[Dwayne Perkins]

And I respecting projecting.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I respect that stance, Dwayne, but I do think I. I don't know if he needs the full fucking nine course meal that you're suggesting, Sydney, but I think something more than a random phone call make it nice. Yeah. Even if you just sit down, you talk in person. But I don't find. I maybe find I would have liked a better ask, but I really don't find the ask that weird. Personally, I think, like, it's not, you know, it's just like you're using your. Your siblings DNA to have a kid. I don't know.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But at the end of the day, what if the kid gets, you know, 23andMe later on? It's like, you not the father.

[Sydney Washington]

You did.

[Dwayne Perkins]

That's the father.

[Sydney Washington]

I don't keep it secret. Yeah. You think the child's not gonna know that their parent is transgender?

[Stavros Halkias]

Or maybe the kid's really dumb and they're like, huh? Why isn't my dad my dad?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Hold on now. We have gotten through three calls where people are pussyfooting around and not being direct and being weird and shady. Parents do that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Family does, but I guess.

[Sydney Washington]

Do you think you could have a child and they not know that you're a lesbian?

[Dwayne Perkins]

I'm not gonna have a child. You asking me questions I never even thought about.

[Sydney Washington]

I just feel like there's just information that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

Be very hard to hide.

[Stavros Halkias]

I also think it wouldn't be that big a deal. It's like you're. It's still like, especially being an uncle. It's like it's already a really close family member, you know, and it's not like you would feel like that's your dad. You would be like, that's my uncle. You know, you're already sharing DNA with that.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Technically, that's my dad. Technically, on paper.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really? Your dad is who raised your dad is who raises you.

[Sydney Washington]

Sure. But like, and if they're a relative, adoption, like, yeah. A parent is a position.

[Stavros Halkias]

And this is interesting. This has come up a couple times, and it is interesting. Different people have. Different people feel very strongly about it, but I think it's like, almost completely who raises you. Like, I don't think it matters. I mean, not at all. Of course it matters a little bit, but especially when we're talking about a sibling where it's like, this is still, you know, biologically, you're sharing a lot of your DNA. I don't think it's that big a deal.

[Sydney Washington]

Biology really does feel logistical.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

Like emotional.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. In this case in particular. Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Elvis, would you lend your jizz in this situation?

[Eldest]

I think so. I think it would need to be, like, you know, probably not framed in, like a phone call or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

It wouldn't need to be like a big sit down discussion. Yeah, I think I would.

[Stavros Halkias]

And as a married man, would you want your wife involved in the ask?

[Eldest]

I think so, yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

Okay.

[Eldest]

But I, you know, I could see. I could see, like, there is something that, like, you know, know. Yes, you are the uncle. You're not, like, in the position of the parent. But I don't know, I could see, like, just looking down the line or something. You're like, whoa, that kid is like, from my jizz. I know it's. I know it's stupid, but, like, I could see it, like, crossing my mind or something. But at the same time, we've looked it up before because people have called him with, like, adoption questions like, when's the. How should you tell your kid they're adopted? And the orthodoxy is you want to tell them as soon as possible.

[Stavros Halkias]

So, like, as soon as they understand the concepts we're talking about.

[Eldest]

No, like, from. From when they're a baby. Like, before they can even understand. You want to start, like, just telling them that narrative so they're, like, used to it and grow up with it their whole life. And I think this would be like that where it's like, you know, obviously put in baby terms or little kid terms.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And get more into it as they get older. But it's like, yeah, yes, you are from Uncle LD's jizz. But you are, you know, the son of.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not. That's still your uncle. Your dad is your dad. So it's like some dads don't have jizz. You know what I mean?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Some dads don't have jizz. Now, that's an important conversation.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true. That's a nice children's book.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Some dads don't have jizz.

[Eldest]

And I think if you frame it like that for this, it wouldn't be like, yeah, weird because it just gets, like, normalized from the kid's birth. Totally between the whole family or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. So, yeah, okay. All right. We got to the bottom of that.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But you also know that kids are. And there's always going to be that moment he's with his uncle and he's like, you're not my dad. He's like, well, actually draw four. I Am technically.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean either way. This guy. Where the. You. Place another one?

[Sydney Washington]

That was a good question.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was a good one.

[Caller]

Big fan of the show. I'm actually watching it right now. Okay, I am. I've got some questions. I'm 23 years old. I got about 20, 000 in debt. That's just like credit cards, personal loans and a bunch of. And no one really knows about it because I'm managing it. But I mean in your position at this age, you know, what would you do? Like obviously, obviously pays down, but I feel like, I feel like I'm. I feel like everything is just falling apart. I don't have any payments like on cars or nothing. It's literally shitty personal. And.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller]

So I just want to see what you would do in a money tight situation. Able to eat. But I just have that lingering over my head. So thanks for, thanks for doing this, man. This is cool. I'm gay.

[Sydney Washington]

Okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cool. Man. This is tough because I've never thought of like, I was poor and never really thought about money. I was like, it'll just happen. I'll just figure it out. And then as soon as it was about to start becoming a problem, I started making money off a podcast. So I've never learned financial literacy at all. I don't know what to do with debt. I also, like, my family was really heavily in debt, so it's. It scared me out of debt. So even in like, I chose the college I went to because I got a scholarship, it wasn't the best school I could go to. I was just like, I'm not having student loans. I've always avoided debt. I pay off. Like, even when like a financial person will be like, oh, it's fine to have a. This loan. I've paid out, you know, you know, a mortgage earlier than I needed to. So I'm pretty scared of debt. I would probably just pay it down and at least stay ahead of the interest rate. Like that's the killer with debt, is that you might borrow six grand, but if you let the interest rate kill you, you'll end up with like fucking 20 grand in debt. So I would just stay ahead of the interest, you know, try and pay it, pay it down as much as you can, as fast as you can. Especially because it was credits, you know, personal credit cards. That means you were just buying Xboxes and takeout with that. You don't have shit to show for it. So just change. You figured it out now though. Just change your habits and try and pay it down. But you know, as much as you can without completely your life up, is what I would say.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. And if you have people in your life that you can trust or, like, can support you file for bankruptcy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, interesting.

[Sydney Washington]

And then have a plan before other things that you would use credit for within the, what is it, seven years that you have, and then have, like, guarantors, like people that, like, can facilitate you doing the things that you need.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

While you rebuild your credit.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is good. This is good. Have you given somebody else this advice recently?

[Sydney Washington]

Because something that I realized is that, like, a lot of wealthy people file bankruptcy all the time.

[Dwayne Perkins]

It's in the TikTok system. It's in the Reddit all the time.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. It really is just a system. It's just a bailout that people. That. That's just worse for people that have less interesting. But if you know how to kind of game the system, you can use it to your advantage.

[Stavros Halkias]

Huh. Yeah. I don't know.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Goes by fast.

[Sydney Washington]

It does. Because how many things do you need to finance if you have an apartment?

[Stavros Halkias]

So you're just not allowed to finance for seven years? That's how it goes.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. Because you just, like, your credit is just really bad, so most people just won't do it. But if you just do those things before you do it, you set yourself up to where you're like, oh, I have enough cash to do this. I have this. I have this. You can just kind of be cruising through those seven years.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

And not living beyond your means and stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you're good. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. Again, I don't know.

[Sydney Washington]

That's Sugar daddy, sugar mama.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, that's good too.

[Sydney Washington]

It finds you a nice benefactor.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that would be awesome. But yeah, dude, that. That's good if, you know, look into that. I don't know what the. Sorry.

[Sydney Washington]

Also look at if there's any data leaks, and then you can try to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Have you been involved in it.

[Sydney Washington]

There's so many, like, people are really bad at holding information. So if you can find out where your debt is and see if there's any way, like, any, like, back channels or any ways you can just, like, get that shit canceled. That's the way to do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It is really fucked up that these banks can sell your debt. Let's say this guy's 20,000. That a bank can buy it for like 3 grand or some shit. Yeah. And they don't give you the opportunity just, well, let me fucking buy. I'll buy for four. You know what I mean? Like, and that's. But they won't do that because they want to. That's how. How fake debt is.

[Dwayne Perkins]

That's not true. They can do consolidation if like you have multiple streams of like debt and they consolidate. Consolidate it and make it, you know, truncate it and it'll do it for smaller.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah, that's what I think.

[Eldest]

You can call and haggle if someone like you can.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean they've done it. There's, there's. There's organizations that buy medical debt and like forgive a lot of medical debt. You could pose as a philanthropic organization and buy your own debt. That's fun. That's a fun little. You know, I would be interested in that kind of scam.

[Eldest]

Buy it on another credit card.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Also medical debt always give the itemized. Get the itemized and start what. So what is this? And what is that? And what. Oh wait, I didn't have that.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Why is this here? Why does this cost so much? And then they'll start be like who. You know, just start taking things off and then you realize you're like, oh, you guys are a scam.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Oh, of course.

[Dwayne Perkins]

And then it be could it's lower and lower.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's one of the craziest scams.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. But so yeah, I don't know. Call Dave Ramsey or some. I don't know what the to do about.

[Sydney Washington]

I don't know, become president. Go away.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Stabby. Has anybody ever like said hey can you help out? Can you donate to a GoFundMe? Have you given like a. A chunk of change?

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, I mean I, I donate to stuff. Yeah, but not never of the. No one's voicemailed in like hey can I borrow.

[Eldest]

We delete those calls around.

[Stavros Halkias]

That don't do that. Never get to me. That's some of the best. That's the only good producing eldest does is make sure that never crosses my desk.

[Sydney Washington]

Good to know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sydney calling with a voice changer. Dwight's moving to la. I need another guarantor.

[Sydney Washington]

Have you co sign.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yo, I ain't never telling y' all again.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I try to be transparent and say.

[Sydney Washington]

Hey, I got the first mistake.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Somebody loves me, cares about me, wants to make sure I'm housed. And you're like you're broke ass ass. No credit.

[Sydney Washington]

Ass Having hope like you gotta keep more secrets.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Well, I want, I want to put it out there so people can know that like listen you. You are who your network and visit.

[Sydney Washington]

That is.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is actually is true.

[Dwayne Perkins]

If you have a whole bunch of people that's like, nah, I'm not helping you. Then you gotta look within and be like, well, why don't these people want to help me? And then if you hanging out with a whole bunch of people like, hey man, I ain't got it. You gotta lose those people.

[Stavros Halkias]

You gotta find one of the I'm with Sydney. And then she takes a turn. I'm like, yeah, you're so right. It's about community. We have to be there for each other. And then you're like, if someone's broker than you though, cut them off.

[Sydney Washington]

Do not be friends with people with less money than you.

[Stavros Halkias]

You need to be the brokest one in your circle.

[Sydney Washington]

I mean, I mean I'm not bad advice. You are who you surround yourself with. But just know if you're a broken friend, if you are.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So you say you never have $100. Just never $100? Yeah man, I'm have to let you go.

[Stavros Halkias]

Click. I've been removed from the group chat. Place another one. Big eld.

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[Caller]

Hey Stav. Elvis and guest. Here is the deal. I live in the Baltimore area. Saw you at Magoobies last year.

[Stavros Halkias]

Loved it. Thank you.

[Caller]

I live in the Baltimore area. My boyfriend also lives in Maryland. We met in November of last year. We kind of were doing like a casual quote unquote thing because he was getting ready to move across the country. As we were hanging out, it got more serious. I fell in love with this guy, he fell in love with me. Got really complicated when he got his new job in San Diego and Wanted to or was going to move. Here's the deal.

[Stavros Halkias]

We.

[Caller]

I caved. We're doing long distance. It's really hard. However, I think it's worth it. I think this is someone I want to be with. I like, he already left. I'm 25. He's 33. I feel like we've both had some relationship experiences that have really taught us about what we need and what we want. And he treats me really well, and I love him. The thing that I'm asking from you is what are the things I need to look for or be sure of before making a big move? I have family on the West Coast. I have family in Maryland. I wouldn't know anybody in the city I'd be moving to except for him. However, I wouldn't move until I had a job lined up. And, you know, I am very personable and outgoing. I think I can make friends, but.

[Dwayne Perkins]

None of that matters.

[Caller]

Hoping for a little bit of advice on, like, what I should know before making that kind of a jump. So thanks so much.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Okay, I'll answer that, please. You gotta have a job, you gotta have money. You gotta have your own situated. So then when y' all combine, you're not depending on him. He's not like, well, you. You here again, like, and. And I honestly think it would be even smarter. She moved there and had her own place. You know what I'm saying?

[Stavros Halkias]

So you.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You have that independent, you know, I am gonna look for my own friends. I am gonna be venturing out. So it's not just like the. This codependency, like, we're living together. I moved here for you.

[Stavros Halkias]

You. I.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You hate that I moved here for. And you here now.

[Stavros Halkias]

So what's up?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Are you going to mention this every time we get in an argument? And, like, that was me. I was like, well, I came to la. It's like, well, hey, man, you here. You got mad friends.

[Stavros Halkias]

You connected.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You can't get no job. So what do you want me to do?

[Stavros Halkias]

Talking to yourself from three years ago. This isn't about this woman at all.

[Sydney Washington]

Do not move for this girl.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't do it.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No, no, no. Do it.

[Eldest]

Do it.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You've done it, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Somebody's done it for you.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Somebody's done it.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. And I'm not with that person. Don't do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't do it. We have two examples of it not working out. We play different.

[Sydney Washington]

Different sides. Both sides did not. We are not with those people.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is genuinely hard. I mean, this is a. There's a reason this is hard to do. And it's also interesting. I mean, how long were they together? She said a couple months before.

[Eldest]

So they started last November.

[Stavros Halkias]

Last November.

[Eldest]

Started casual, but picked up.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right.

[Dwayne Perkins]

N. Sister.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. I mean, like, what is this job? Like, I would say y' all should have the relationship be adjusted to the reality and not try to force reality to melt. Match the relationship. And the reality is y' all live in two different places. If y' all can keep that going, then keep that going. And if y' all can't, then y' all can't. Like, maybe this is the universe saying, like, this is the test. Like, but I don't know if moving there for him when you have all this reservation, that reservation ain't gonna go nowhere just because you in a new place.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, because it's tough. Because it sounds like if they were in the same city, they'd just be. It's.

[Sydney Washington]

She.

[Stavros Halkias]

It doesn't sound like she has reservations about the relationship. She has reservations about the logistics of. Of this. Yeah, but that is, you know, that's fucking hard. I mean, this cross country move is hard. And I agree with you, Sid, where it's like, you want. Do you really want to do this? If this. And you know, I think there's two schools of thought. One is, do you actually want to live, move to the city if this guy wasn't in the picture, would you like your life there? Can you find a job that you like? You know, maybe you don't like your job that much, you're ready for a change of scenery, and this is like a no lose situation where it's like either works out with him or I. Or I'm in a cool new city and I'm trying. And you know, you're relatively young still. You still have, like, move to a different city for a couple years and if you don't like it, move back. That's still in the cards. That's one school of thought. Or the other one is you're just kind of going all in on this relationship and you need to just. It's. It's almost like don't have a plan B and just hope this works out. I don't. I'm just saying those are the two schools of thought. I probably am more partial to the first one.

[Sydney Washington]

I agree.

[Stavros Halkias]

But then again, sometimes these things only work when they're exceptions to the rule. You know what I mean? Like, I could see the logic of just like as soon as you get A job, move there, see what you guys have together, and maybe figure it out sooner rather than later. But yeah, I think the first one is safer for sure. And I think it's a better way to go about things. But I also think you should do it as soon as possible if you're really committed to this relationship.

[Sydney Washington]

Also, I don't know if she has a job now.

[Stavros Halkias]

If she doesn't, I think she does in Baltimore. In the Baltimore area.

[Sydney Washington]

I would say if there is a way that you can just spend a longer amount of time there as like a little dress rehearsal, Sure. I feel like that can give some good data.

[Stavros Halkias]

Definitely.

[Sydney Washington]

And then just seeing like, is there a way to. Where, like. Because if the whole thing is just like you want to be around this person more, is there a way that you can do that without having to move your whole life, just be like, oh, you're there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And I'm just only saying that because I'm living a bicoastal life now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure.

[Sydney Washington]

And I think they're just like eras of being like, oh, I can be here for like a little bit. I could be here for a little bit. And I think if you can make it work, you should make work so you don't have to change your whole life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Is there a way you can work from work remotely and spend two weeks there or something and just see if you even like the city. You know, you might fucking hate it.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. Get a new job where you're at that allows you to have to be able to spend time there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

You don't have to like move your whole life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's. And you know, I've had friends who, I mean, I do have friends who actually did make long distance work. And. And there is a period of it where it's like you're almost just both taking turns visiting each other and seeing each other enough. But even that you can only do for so long because that's also not reality. Right. Like whenever. A lot of long distance relationships feel awesome because whenever you're visiting, you're just kind of on vacation. No one's really living their real life. It's like, we took time off, we're seeing each other. That's not day to day reality. So if there's a way for you to actually spend time there, that actually feels more real, more like what life would be like there, instead of like, let's meet up in, in the middle and go on a fucking trip or, you know, I'll come, you take a week off work. I'LL come to you know what like, like that I think that you can only do for so long. I think that's good as a, as a sort of band aid on a long distance relationship. But yeah, I think try and try and see. Definitely have a job and have the amount of independence that makes you feel comfortable and see if you could do a little dress rush.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So I do like get on Facebook, right. Get in the groups of San Diego. See what, what's poppin like trying to make friends, you know, see if they got groups do that get on hinge and see what's the vibes of like yeah, because just in case you move there relationship don't work, you still have a job and you've made friends. Is there a possibility?

[Sydney Washington]

What's the competition?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Dating options. Because sometimes you could go to a dope ass city people mid you just. That's not what you want in a partner. You're like oh it's popping platonically but not. It's not popping for the P. So.

[Stavros Halkias]

Luckily I have all these backups ready to go.

[Sydney Washington]

With your secret hinge that you have.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You should.

[Sydney Washington]

And then you should see if he's on hinge too.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come across his profile, then forget it.

[Sydney Washington]

Then don't move.

[Stavros Halkias]

Buy a house in Baltimore. Forget the whole thing.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Facebook has a group. Are we dating the same guy? Get in that group as well.

[Stavros Halkias]

That would be nice. That's an easy way to see if you need to get out of here.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Check that first first.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that solves all your problems.

[Sydney Washington]

Just find a reason to leave. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

El, you got something fun for us to go out on here? Little buddy with a bang.

[Caller]

Hey sa. I am a dad. Got a 10 year old little girl who is getting bullied by 3 little shit in her little after school club. So I was calling to see if you had any tips for you know, any comebacks that we. I could teach my daughter at least to help, you know, especially those kids that are trying to roast others. Appreciate it long time call her. First time listener. Take it easy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Where are the women? I need, need. I. I don't want the dad out of here. I need. Where's the aunt, where's the sister, where's the mother? What? Because they need. Because this bullying stuff has gotten out of hand and like I see it over and over on Tick tock and like the threads it's like these kids are just getting so vicious and it's like somebody has to come up there and hold these kids accountable. And it starts with I need to talk to their parents.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

And I, unfortunately, I don't need a man doing that. I need a woman talking to the other person, usually another woman, and be like, hey, what's going on? Where is the disconnect? Why do you have these kids coming here and making my child's life terrible?

[Sydney Washington]

And why can't a man do it?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, aren't you.

[Dwayne Perkins]

If he had a son go there for your son?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you think it's like a gender. Gendered bullying? Yeah, yeah.

[Dwayne Perkins]

It's girls bothering girls.

[Sydney Washington]

I think it should be the opposite. I think that the opposite gender should handle it so that there is less of a chance of projecting your own.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point.

[Sydney Washington]

So then you can come with like a.

[Stavros Halkias]

More dad's dad's addressing their. Their daughter's behavior.

[Sydney Washington]

And then the women addressing son's behavior.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's interesting. I mean, I. I mean I do worry about the like, what kind of bullies are these?

[Sydney Washington]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, are you get. Like when your parent deals with it, that's. Then you. Then you're become a snitch in their eyes. Good.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah, I'm snitching. I'm sorry.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Sydney Washington]

Just like roasting. Is she getting like beat up? Like, is it physical? Because, like, I think that changes it. Because if it's just roasting, I would say you find information about their family, share with her and give her like really run them jokes at the crib.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Hire a private investigator.

[Sydney Washington]

I remember I was in. In second grade, maybe first grade, and I was getting bullied. And then I found out that the guy's daddy was in jail. And I said, that's why your daddy in jail. He started crying and change changed everything.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But you see, that's in your blood. Like you are that. That's why you are who you are now. That's why professional. Like you're a comedian. The way the dad is talking, you ain't got it, babe. Like, you're not gonna. You are not gonna put it in improv class.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gentle.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, you gotta put it in an improv class.

[Eldest]

Get.

[Sydney Washington]

Get her quicker.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It's not a bad idea to learn stuff about their family, honestly.

[Sydney Washington]

Get them where it hurts.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I don't know, I just. I've just been watching too many of the like these kids just like little kids just committing suicide. And it makes me so angry and it's like, I don't want to play these games. This the roast. Learn about. No, get the Parents involved and, and God forbid you have to, to take the kid out. I like none of that. Oh, we're just gonna see how this plays out because then it could be too late. And you don't know these kids. A lot of these kids are coming from broken up homes, so they ain't got nothing to live for.

[Sydney Washington]

That's why you gotta train your child.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know I do. Unfortunately, there's part of me that's like the worst part about being a parent is just you have to kind of cede control and your kid just kind of has to figure some out for themselves. And bullying kind of is one of those things, like how you like socializing all this kind of. It's like, it is definitely heartbreaking because it's like so sad when your kid is getting bullied. But I also wonder, like, we don't know the extent of this bullying, right? Is it possible this is normal kid stuff? Is it really over the top? I don't know, but it's like, like this is gonna happen. Like your kid, your kids are just gonna. I got bullied. I bullied people. People were mean to me. I was mean to people. You just kind of of have to figure it out.

[Sydney Washington]

I definitely think it's like about like rant, like if it's like, because I got bullied pretty bad when I was younger, but also I was a crazy kid. I have a whole like one minute show where I talk about like trying to kill a bully in third grade. I said, how dare you try to build me. You have to die. So it shouldn't get that far. Like, you have to see, like, is it physical? Because, like, yeah, like, where is it? And I think it is about just like meeting your choice child where they are and be like, how do you feel? Yeah, what do you want to do? Are you afraid? Like, and then giving them tools because it, if it's just talking, you gotta just be like, hey. That you can't control what somebody's child is saying. So you can. But you can help your child fortify themselves and give them sick things to say back. If it's physical, then you can teach your child how to defend themselves. But also that then put you in a place to be. Okay, I can't go to the school.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

Because this is something that, like, that's a. So far.

[Stavros Halkias]

And even if it is, if it's gotten to the point where you do need to like, yeah, intervene. I do think, because I think that does solve things a lot. Sometimes parents, sometimes like parents will figure it out like, I think we had a friend who was kind of in a similar situation and he talked to the. The other parent and the parent was like mortified and was like, I can't believe my kid would behave this way. I'm going to figure this out. That's a possibility. But, but there's also the like, look, today it's bullying, tomorrow it's something else. Like, and 10 is kind of unfortunately when like you kind of. She's about to be in middle school, there's no kids.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I like, how dare you.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You haven't lived. How you. How dare you bully in elementary school. Go to high school, go to college, get a personality. You don't even have a personality.

[Sydney Washington]

That's the worst bullying. At least from my personal experience, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

High school makes me so mad.

[Sydney Washington]

It didn't get as like, because you have a great, like elementary school I think is like the formative years of your life is the. At least for me was the hardest time. And so I think just creating a system where like your daughter at least feels supported enough to like, come to you. Yeah. A good first step.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, for sure.

[Dwayne Perkins]

That's good. You're a good dad. You're a good dad.

[Sydney Washington]

And then, yeah, you're like, hey, this how you take somebody down quick? Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I really actually do think it's not a bad idea to learn about these people's f. Like, it's not. It's not a horrible idea to be like, look, let's workshop some insults. If you want to use them, you can use them. If you don't, you don't have to.

[Sydney Washington]

Because that's helpful on both ends. Cuz it's helpful in them. Roast. But also helpful and being like, okay, where are they from? Like, can, can I talk to them? Are they like from like where they're like stats? Like, yeah, yeah. Is it a family of crazy people? Then maybe we shouldn't talk to them.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is what backfires when you go to the family. Because it's like sometimes like you. You don't tell me how to raise my kid. And now you have to fight a dad. That's crazy.

[Sydney Washington]

Just so you get beat up and now the whole family got to move.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No, I have a friend that constantly like when she is not working out, we taking the kid out. Let's. We do. Let's go. Like it. And I salute her every time because.

[Sydney Washington]

It'S like, you think the best.

[Dwayne Perkins]

No, because sometimes. No, no, no. Sometimes the school is up, like academically or like there is kids Bullying the kids are just too rowdy that your per. Your child is not really attaining any information the reason why they're in school anyway. And it's like, hey, we gonna find another school. This you, this school is not the end all be all and like take them out if you have to.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know, but there's also a fine line between. You can't do that every time. Like there is. Your kid has to.

[Dwayne Perkins]

My friend, she, she, she didn't done it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your kid also has to learn a little self sufficiency. Maybe, maybe it's a little early for that. But it's like that sucks. The world sucks dick and people are shitty to you and you kind of have to, you have to kind of be prepared for that. And so you know, does your friend.

[Sydney Washington]

Feel like her child has like benefited from that? Like how does that manifest in the child?

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah, child is in an amazing school now. I mean it took some time, but school is great. Kids are great. It was a long road, but worth it.

[Stavros Halkias]

As long as there's some stability at the end of the road that's important. I think just constant changing can be kind of tough, but. Yeah, look, this sucks, dude. Sorry. You know.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yeah man, you're great. You're a good dad. So at least, I mean you're, you're asking comedians who ain't got no kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. This really was a fun one to go out on.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Great job.

[Stavros Halkias]

I thought it was gonna be like a 30 second like oh, I finally started eating. It's awesome. But no, I didn't know it was.

[Eldest]

Gonna get that deep. I, I thought you guys going to be like make fun of the kids, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

Call these children pieces. Call the 10 year olds.

[Sydney Washington]

What do you fight children?

[Dwayne Perkins]

I brought up suicide.

[Sydney Washington]

I really did. I said oh, so we're going there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Dwayne Perkins]

But you know what? I do want to end on something positive cuz I always come here and it seems like I'm some, you know, some rough around the edges that just only talking about my old life and how I used to have, have turn up and now I'm like getting my life together. I'm lesbian, but I am making strides career wise. I had a half hour on Hulu.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, go watch that.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Absolutely watch that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Go watch that.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I'm back on. It's on Disney plus. I'm on Instagram again. Love that and.

[Sydney Washington]

Big things, baby.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Back in the gram putting out a movie on Instagram. You will be seeing it next year on a bang.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you needed me so you needed me.

[Sydney Washington]

Come on, filmmaker Sydney.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You're welcome.

[Sydney Washington]

See you in Venice.

[Eldest]

The bulling's bad.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love it. Things are up. The stock is up at for Sydney are appraised Y11.11K. Okay.

[Dwayne Perkins]

I'm going to get them done again.

[Sydney Washington]

Just so you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right.

[Dwayne Perkins]

So we all could do that by following me on all of my social follow my podcast.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let us know when you got them and we'll put you. We'll get you back when you got the new set in. This was so fun, guys. Dwayne, thanks for being here, this show.

[Sydney Washington]

Thanks for having me.

[Stavros Halkias]

This was great. Anything else you wanted to plug also? Anything at the end here?

[Sydney Washington]

Hell no. I a nothing else to plug.

[Dwayne Perkins]

You do your social media.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, yeah, sure. Oh, right. I need more followers so I can get brand deals.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Yes.

[Sydney Washington]

So follow me on Instagram TikTok. It's Dwayne Perkins. D E W A Y N E. I love it.

[Stavros Halkias]

We'll link to all that stuff. Thanks for being here, guys. It was so fun. Thanks for listening, guys. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

[Dwayne Perkins]

Bye.

[Stavros Halkias]

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