#168 - Matt Johnson

Summary

Stavvy's World #168 – Matt Johnson

February 16, 2026

---

EPISODE OVERVIEW

This episode of Stavvy's World features Canadian filmmaker, actor, and writer Matt Johnson (“Nirvana the Band the Show,” “BlackBerry”). Stavros welcomes him for a freewheeling, often hilarious discussion about independent comedy, personal histories, creative insecurities, their love of movies, unhealthy relationships with food, and offering blunt life advice to listeners. They riff about their backgrounds, the new Nirvana the Band movie, classic '80s and '90s cinema, family trauma, and help answer listener voicemails covering everything from fake cancer claims to using slurs at home. It's a blend of movie geekery, unfiltered memoir, and advice that moves between deadpan and deeply sincere.

---

HIGHLIGHTS & KEY DISCUSSION POINTS

---

1. The New "Nirvana the Band the Show: The Movie" & Comedy's Place in Cinema

• [01:02–06:00]
  • Stavros sets the tone: Matt Johnson is introduced as the “greatest mind of the Great White North,” joking about an outsized box office for the new movie.
  • Deep affection for the film: “It's nimble… does it have a coherent plot? Professional actors? Beautiful people? None of that.” –Stavros [02:30]
  • Jay McCarroll (co-star) “gets more handsome with age… like, when he was young, it was uncanny valley. Now, he just blows you out of the water.” [03:01–13:14]
• Discussion:
  • Roots of “Nirvana the Band”: From web series, through Vice TV, to feature film—20 years in the making.
  • The film's time travel mechanic: “It's like Boyhood, except inside a comedy… and by accident. Without planning.” –Stavros [12:32]
  • Matt on creative process: “Nightmares are funny because you always wake up and there's a secret message… It's the nightmares that tell you how to live.” [12:39]

Memorable Quote

“It’s just a big fat pie movie that can move quickly.” – Matt Johnson [02:28]

---

2. Banter About Vice, Moving to NYC, and Comedy Upbringings

• [03:23–05:43]
  • Stav & Matt remember being influenced by Vice programming and fat-guy food stars: “I want to be obese and famous and eat… and it kind of did happen.” – Stavros [03:58]
  • Early NYC comedy grind—windowless rooms, open mics, bad living conditions, and weird roommates.
  • “Mutual disregard for each other's living space.” –Matt on roommate dynamics [05:55]

---

3. Movie Rabbit Holes & Personal Reflections

• [06:03–11:12]
  • Deep-dive: “Miami Vice” (Michael Mann, 2006) as a lost masterpiece.
    • Connections to personal chaos: Stavros relates his own period of substance abuse and self-destruction to Colin Farrell’s time making that film, who “went straight to rehab when it wrapped.” [10:07]
    • “The plot doesn’t make sense, but it still has three incredible action sequences.” –Stavros [07:24]
• The Power of Movies & Memory:
  • “The greatest performances… just don’t even exist for the actor anymore.” [10:52]
• Comedy Influences: "Nirvana the Band" is directly inspired by movies like "Back to the Future," "Naked Gun," and “Miami Vice.” [34:56–35:39]

---

4. Childhood, Parental Influence, Self-Worth and Identity

• [13:14–19:02]
  • Honest mothers: “Mom, am I handsome? She just goes ‘No… but you are interesting-looking.’” –Matt [14:17]
  • Growing up with both criticism and affirmation; the resulting creative drive.
  • The immigrant dad effect: Stavros—“It just created this nightmare personality that’s been tough to live with.” [18:02]

Notable Quote

“You can either be the best or the worst of your parents… you can see when people are these things.” – Matt Johnson [27:42]

---

5. Pitching Absurd Movie Ideas & The Joy of Silly Comedy

• [29:03–33:36]
  • Fantasizing about a remake of “Twins”: “The jacked guy is DeVito’s kid… genetic confusion, just like the original” [31:56]
  • The warmth of big, dumb, joke-packed movies as an antidote to modern cinema malaise.

---

6. Advice Hour: Listeners' Calls and Blunt Counsel

• [54:56–101:50]
  • Caller #1: Friend Faking Cancer [55:06–62:10]
    • “You must be in some pain… I know you’re lying, and I forgive you. Why don’t you tell me what it is that has got you so tangled up?” –Matt [59:26]
    • Both agree: Seek real talk and vulnerability, not a cat-and-mouse “gotcha.”
  • Caller #2: Dad Addicted to ChatGPT [62:15–72:31]
    • Dad’s “spiritual experience” with AI; suspicion that he’s emotionally (and possibly romantically) entwined with a bot.
    • Matt: “Take him to Spiel, the biggest board game convention in the world in Germany.” [71:11]
    • Stav: “Get him out with real people… maybe even buy him some human interaction.” [72:12]
  • Caller #3: Blue-collar Husband Using Slurs [73:42–85:56]
    • The “f-slur” as blue-collar lingo, the dilemma of “containment,” and marital boundaries.
    • Matt: “There’s coded language within all different lines of work… but at home, you get to define the culture.”
    • Stavros: “There’s a million ways to trash someone. Be creative—tighten the blast radius.” [85:56]
    • Sith Lightning analogy: “It’s effective, but it gives you wrinkles. Don’t use Sith lightning, man.” [84:23]
  • Caller #4: OnlyFans Porn Editor Dating a Religious Girl [86:13–95:26]
    • Both: “If you’re not comfortable saying what your job is, be honest with yourself before you’re honest with her.”
    • Matt: “This whole call reeked of guilt… admit who you are, then move forward.”
    • Stavros: “If you want to be a freelance video guy, start mixing in other work.” [94:24]
  • Caller #5: Success Story—Ozempic for Weight Loss [96:44–101:09]
    • Weight-loss medication as a tool—not a magic solution but “don’t be too proud to try it,” and “focus on living, not on just being sexy” [98:04]
    • Both celebrate improved well-being and urge listeners to drop the stigma.

---

NOTABLE QUOTES & MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• “I want to be obese and famous and eat… and it kind of did happen.” –Stavros [03:58]
• “My mom said: No, but you are interesting looking.” –Matt [14:17]
• “You become a permanent rebel—every authority figure can suck your dick.” –Stavros [16:37]
• “You can either be the best or the worst of your parents.” –Matt [27:42]
• “Eating disorder… I love what’s there, that’s what I like.” –Matt [52:49]
• On eating 2.5 pizzas in one sitting: “It’s a problem. If I stopped exercising, I would die.” –Matt [54:00]
• On containment of slurs: “Don’t use Sith lightning. You can do damage, but it gives you wrinkles.” –Stavros [84:23]
• “Admit who you are, then move forward… if you’re lying about your job, something's up.” –Matt [94:24]

---

TIMESTAMPS FOR IMPORTANT SEGMENTS

• [01:02] – Episode starts, box office joke, “Nirvana the Band the Show: The Movie”
• [12:11] – Film’s time travel gimmick & connection to “Boyhood”
• [34:56] – Inspiration from “Back to the Future,” comedy plotting philosophy
• [54:56] – Advice segment introduction: listener calls
• [55:06] – Caller: Friend might be faking cancer
• [62:15] – Caller: Dad’s “spiritual” obsession with ChatGPT
• [73:42] – Caller: Boston husband and blue-collar use of the “f-slur”
• [86:13] – Caller: OnlyFans porn editor dating a religious woman
• [96:44] – Caller: Thank you for LA Ozempic push; lost 30 lbs

---

TONE & ATMOSPHERE

The episode’s vibe is irreverent, open-hearted, and quick-witted; Stavros and Matt bounce between sincerity and self-deprecating humor with affection and ease, often using their own personal failures—or family traumas—as sources for big laughs and real insights. There’s a sweet, profane masculinity to the talk, especially when discussing the ways culture, parents, and blue-collar life shape a person.

---

FINAL CALLS TO ACTION

• For Listeners:
  If you want more comedy in theaters, “go see ‘Nirvana the Band the Show: The Movie’—we’re hurting race relations just to prop up independent comedy!” [48:32]
• “Send in your life problems to 904-800-STAV for advice—next time maybe while eating bagels and doing a mukbang live call-in.” [96:13]

---

A warm, goofy, wild-ride of a hang more than a traditional interview. Fans of unvarnished storytelling, indie cinema, and brutal honesty will feel right at home.

---

Best Quote to Sum Up the Episode:

“You can be the best, or the worst of your parents. And the world, if you’re lucky, will let you figure out which.” – Matt Johnson [27:42]

Transcript

[A]

Adobe Acrobat Studio, your new foundation. Use PDF spaces to generate a presentation. Grab your docs, your permits, your moves, AI levels up, your pitch gets it in a groove. Choose a template with your timeless cool. Come on now, let's flex those tones. Draft, design, deliver, make it sing. AI builds the deck so you can build that thing. Do that, do that, do that with Acrobat.

[B]

Learn [e-mail] do that with Acrobat. Well, the holidays have come and gone once again. But if you've forgotten to get that special someone in your life a gift. Well, Mint Mobile is extending their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless. So here's the idea. You get it now, you call it an early present for next year.

[A]

What do you have to lose?

[B]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch limited time, 50% off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required $45 for three months, $90 for six month or $180 for 12 month plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month when network is busy, see terms.

[A]

Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STAV, call in. We'll solve your problems. We have one of the greatest minds of the Great White north on the couch right now, Matt Johnson. Whose new, Whose new movie? Nirvana, the Band, the Show. The movie has done probably what by this. This is Monday, So it's probably $400 million box office.

[B]

Oh, you know what? I think you drop maybe even three zero.

[A]

The movie just came out. I saw it. It's funny as. It's. It's legitimately funny as one of. I mean, I'm trying to think, was it.

[B]

Is it the funniest movie of all time? I'm trying to think, is that what it is?

[A]

No, no, no, not even close. But it was a very good time at the theaters, folks.

[B]

What's great about it is that it's one of those movies that were you watching at first especially, you are thinking, what a piece of shit. Like, I can't believe I'm here. I'm sitting in the IFC theater. I was doing my buddy a favor just to appear. He wanted me to be a laugh track to get the crowd going.

[A]

He was.

[B]

As soon as it does one interesting thing, you go, oh, okay. It's like I once heard Wayne Knight say on the DVD special features of Seinfeld that one of his secret weapons that he was a really, really fat guy, but he was light on his feet.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And so that when he ran, people always Got a kick out of.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I think that Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie has that.

[A]

That's what you think.

[B]

A big fat pie movie that can move quickly.

[A]

Yeah. It's nimble. Yeah. Does it have a coherent plot? Professional actors, beautiful people to look at. None of that.

[B]

Jay looks. Jay looks.

[A]

Held up really well.

[B]

It's unbelievable.

[A]

Jay looks incredible.

[B]

We're talking about Jay McCarroll. Look him up. He's one of these guys that gets more handsome because when he was young, it was a bit of an uncanny valley because it was like, like he kind of looked like a man, but he's 14 years old. Like, it wasn't working.

[A]

A little gangly, sure. I know you mean. And. But then, you know. And so you guys, the thing for people to understand is that you've been doing this. First it was a web series, then you had a show on. We watched it, actually. Me and Eldest would watch it in our Astoria apartment. When we first moved to New York, we were big. We were big Vice guys.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

We were big vice guys. Of course.

[B]

And then that fucking guy stole your whole. Like, you could have been that guy moving from place to place place, eating crazy food. What? That's delicious.

[A]

Oh, action Bronze.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Yeah. Listen, I, I, it. It. I don't even feel like he stole it. I feel like he was ahead of me by like six years.

[B]

Yeah. Because I made your money.

[A]

I saw that and I was like, this would have been. This could have been my life.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Like, I just looked at it.

[B]

Matty Matheson literally thought that.

[A]

Yeah. Maddie has a point.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's a chef. He was established. I was just a fat guy in Baltimore.

[B]

I want to do that fat 19.

[A]

Year old being like, oh, I want to be obese and famous and eat. And it kind of did happen.

[B]

I want.

[A]

Yeah. He was rapping about getting pussy and I was like, what the hell? I'm fucking. I'm living in my friend's shitty extra bedroom for 300amonth. I'm a paint salesman. That's what I. When I, When I was holding down Sherwin Williams is when action was popping off. I was a big fan. I was a big fan. I actually saw him as aspirational, 100%.

[B]

I think everybody did.

[A]

And we did. He did. I was able to get in the fuck. That's delicious. Kitchen and have some tacos with him.

[B]

So you know him personally?

[A]

Yeah, I'm trying to get him on that. We've been trying to get him on the couch, but rappers are Kind of hard to schedule. Schedule. It turns out it is true that rappers. Yeah, so we'll get. We'll get him there. But yes, dude, moving to. Moving to New York in. What was that, 2014? Eldest. 15. 15.

[B]

Vice had you in its teeth, dude.

[A]

Are you kidding me? I'm 26. I live in a. I live in a windowless room. I'm doing open mics. It's like I'm Vice's guy. I want every. From every ounce of programming in the. Like, Elvis would start his day watching Miami Vice reruns. He would be. He would make. He would make an omelet in the morning. And by the way, we had a room in the living room so someone could just hear eldest cooking loud as fuck.

[B]

Watch.

[A]

Like a different comedian lived in. We switched. I used to be in that room, but eventually I got a room with walls. And so eldest would just watch Miami Vice. He would turn on Vice immediately. Watch Miami Vice at 8am Cook the loudest omelet you've ever heard in your life. This motherfucker sizzling. He chopped everything fresh every day. There was no prepping. There was nothing. He was just 8:30am Scallions fucking.

[B]

He hated you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No. Sometimes I would be making the omelette and I would hear the guy fucking in this room, which was also right next to. At 8:00am yeah, it was like, you know, he'd have.

[A]

No. He was doing bad, but he could. Fucking hell.

[B]

Yeah. So it's like mutual disregard for each other's, like, living space. Did you like the Michael Mann film Miami?

[A]

I loved it.

[B]

Believable film. So that's the only movie in my life. Josh Bowles and I were in film school. We go to see it at, I think the Yorkdale at. We go to the four o' clock show. We saw the eight o' clock show.

[A]

Respect, dude. Yeah, I get that.

[B]

I feel like if you're watching this, if you've not seen My Man's Mind, that's your camera.

[A]

Come on, you're a director.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

It is. Like, I think there are people who know about it, but it is one of those lost masterpieces that. That it doesn't rival Heat, but.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

But it's a must watch. It's a must. It came out around the same time as the New World, and both are these. It was an unbelievable movie.

[A]

What I love about that movie. Yes, that movie's incredible. And it has. It's Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell and also it's Michael Mann in Terms of how he's shooting stuff. His dick was really hard for Digit. That's when he's.

[B]

It's right as he's making the transition and then he really falls off a cliff afterwards. He makes that Public Enemy.

[A]

I never saw Public Enemies. I will see it. I want to be a man completionist. Obviously I love his shit. But that movie to me is so special because it really is the most. I mean, that's the most, like, artistic I'm willing to get. It's the most artistic an idiot bro who loves like, you know, gun movies can get because it's like contemplative and it's like philosophical. It's a tone poem.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[A]

It's like the plot doesn't really make sense, but it still has three incredible action sequences even while making no sense whatsoever.

[B]

End to end. And it takes like what was in the Miami Vice TV show and just warps it to this unbelievable place. The shots of them riding those cigarette boats down to Cuba. There's this. There's this amazing transition where Colin Farrell, who's just a sex machine in this movie.

[A]

And by the way, I've said this before, I know my self esteem is too high because I see myself as Colin Farrell in that movie.

[B]

The world does as well, you know what I mean?

[A]

When I grew my hair out, I was like, I look exactly like Colin Farrell in Miami Vice. Like in my head with the mustache, I'm like, that's what I look like.

[B]

And this is how women see me. If only I could get out of this windowless apartment, I'd be fucking just like my roommate.

[A]

But. And here's what else I love about that. And there's so much weird shit about that movie. The. The main protag, like Colin Farrell's love interest, I forget her name. She straight up did not speak English. She did her line phonetically.

[B]

I didn't know that, of course.

[A]

And it gives the movie a dreamlike quality because it's like this woman is saying stuff, but you're like. She doesn't quite grasp, like, what's going on here.

[B]

Is that. Was she Cuban?

[A]

She was Chinese.

[B]

Oh, she's Chinese. Okay. That's how her career began as well.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

Speaking only phonetic English.

[A]

No. Yeah, this woman. And then. And here's the other another thing I love about it, and I think the reason I can, because I really connect to that movie when I was like, this is maybe like four years ago when I was in the thick of everything kind of happening. Whereas, like, my career is taking off But I was also, like, the most fucked up. Like, I was eating like shit. I was. I was getting fucked up every. I was like, you know, smoke, getting high as fuck, pills. What. I didn't drink that much, but I was like, you know, just, like, really overdoing it and then, you know, trying to fuck. Despite being the least healthy I've ever been in my life. Just like, it was like, pills, dick pills, Pepto Bismol, weed, fucking wings, fries. It was like, I was. It was brutal stuff, right? And I'm fat. I'm like, I weighed 70 pounds more than I weigh right now.

[B]

So it's, like, difficult to imagine.

[A]

Like, it. Just think about the, like, literally the fat filters, where it's just like, you live in it. But, like, I mean, that's why.

[B]

And yet the world is giving you all this feedback. You're doing great. Keep going. You're becoming famous. Like, whatever you're doing is working.

[A]

This is what success feels like. Just ready to kill myself. And. And apparently Colin Farrell, when he was shooting that. And so I discovered that, like, I had seen it, like, but I didn't really, like, latch onto it. And then I saw it again in the middle of that time in my life, and it just.

[B]

This is me so much, of course.

[A]

And then I found out later, like, you know, research, because, you know, when I follow. When you love a movie, you go back and you fucking research everything. Colin Farrell, apparently, the day it wrapped, went immediately to rehab. It was like. And. And he. And he's like, people have asked him questions because people love this movie. It's like a. It's like a niche. Like, you know, it's one of those.

[B]

If you know about it, you know, because it bombed in theaters so badly.

[A]

Bombed horribly. Because it had hype. Because Michael, you know, Michael Mann was the executive producer of Miami Vice, and man was on a heat or whatever, and then it. And then it bombed. But he's given, like, interviews where people are like, I love them. Like, you know how we are talking about it? And he's straight up, like, I'm not trying to be an asshole.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I just know. I don't remember it.

[B]

That's unreal.

[A]

Like, one of the.

[B]

They're all going.

[A]

One of the greatest performances that, like, means the world to me just, like, only exist. It doesn't even exist in the actor's head anymore.

[B]

Yeah, right. It's like Stephen King's early books. It did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's beautiful. So, yeah, Navarro man show the movie not as good as that movie, but much funnier.

[B]

We have commonalities, actually. It depends how you watch Miami Vice. There's a read of that film where it's the funniest movie of all time. There's that scene where the guy is saying why his nickname is what it is, and he goes. He says it in. In Spanish, and he says. Just so you know, that means crazy pig. When he's talking about his own identity.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, dude, I know. And Jamie Foxx just. He just has a grenade. Remember when. Of course they searched him. Anyway, we can't be.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You're buying the band to show the movie nobody saw. Bombed. Literally. Did no business. This is the podcast rewatch of Miami Vice.

[A]

Just from our memories.

[B]

Well, we're getting all this wrong. I'm like, wasn't she Cuban? But no, I know a good place to get some kind of drink. And then, man cuts. They're on a cigarette vote. One shot. Mojito. Mojitos. And then they cut. They're getting a drink in Cuba.

[A]

Cuba. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Incredible stuff.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then he just. Anyway, I'm not going to keep talking.

[B]

Big inspiration to Nirvana, the band, for sure. The old Vice days I loved.

[A]

Oh, yeah. So the point I was making was. Yes, you. You guys have been doing this since you were like, when did boys. Yeah, literally 20 years.

[B]

We started shooting at 20 years. And that's why it was Jay's idea to be like, we should make a time travel movie where we use that footage we shot when we were kids. And everybody was like, oh, this is amazing. No, like, we get to do, like, Boyhood except inside of a comedy film.

[A]

Right. And by accident.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Without planning it and just being like, whatever. Whatever we get. I mean, it must have been a nightmare for your editors to figure out.

[B]

Well, you know, nightmares are funny because, like, you always wake up and there's a secret message to that nightmare. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, truly, it's not like good dreams don't tell you how to live your life. It's the nightmares where you wake up and go, okay, I got to stop doing this. And so, yeah, it was a nightmare. But you know that once you get to the end of it, it's like.

[A]

Oh, shit, you got something awesome.

[B]

It's a secret message. Yeah.

[A]

No, no. And it was. It's very funny to do that. And the point I was trying to make overall is that Jay, at no point did you look better than Jay.

[B]

Even when you were young. Yeah.

[A]

But now it's kind of Crazy how much he blows you out of the water.

[B]

It is. You look like a real piece, especially on camera. Like, that's, that's my real curse is that on the number of times people meet me in person and be like, whoa. Like, remember when you and I first met and you were like, I thought you were, you'd be so much fatter. The first thing you said to me, and we had talked, like, we, we've gone through like multiple, like, we're talk about the movie. We, we were going to make all this, and then we saw each other. I think I give off a kind of super fat man energy combined with the way that, that, that I look on camera.

[A]

Fatter face than body. You have the classic fat face that.

[B]

You assume that the body must just be like, like rippled and, and, and, and it all, all comes from the top.

[A]

Right, Right. It's very rare to be able to keep fat on your face when you're not that fat.

[B]

It's a skill. No, I've been working on it my whole life.

[A]

It's the opposite of what you want for being on camera.

[B]

No. And in fact, it gave me horrible sleep apnea, which you and I talked about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I had the worst sleep apnea. I had to get it. I had to get surgery to fix it.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

Which, which. But you know what? I don't look at it negatively at all.

[A]

Yeah, but it must have been tough to look at yourself, like, having to be.

[B]

I had no vanity. Do you know what my mom said to me when I was young? Yeah, I, I turned to her, I think I was 11 years old, and I said, mom, I was, I was looking in the mirror and looked at her and I said, mom, am I handsome? And she looked at me. She's a doctor. And she looked at me. She's so sober. I love her, like. And she said, no, no. She said, but you are interesting looking. And, and I swear this has been a deep truth of my life. And I think my mom in some ways feels like self conscious about saying that, as though she'd, she'd hurt me. But it didn't. Even at the time, I wasn't.

[A]

I didn't feel like it's honestly better to do that than lie.

[B]

If she had.

[A]

Everyone says, have you met guys whose.

[B]

Moms are like, you're the most beautiful boy. I love everything about you.

[A]

Well, my mom got pretty. I had the classic. My mom was like that and my dad was the opposite.

[B]

That's a good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, which is it?

[A]

Averages out. But at the same time, at any point I can have the. I'm like. I can think like I'm the fucking smartest, most handsome guy in the world. And I can also think like I'm a piece of. I should kill myself.

[B]

Yeah. And you need.

[A]

So it's like. And you need both. And it averages out to good. And I think it's unfortunately useful for creating. Unfortunately.

[B]

I think it's actually the secret recipe this is reminding me. I had just read some article that said in the gestalt of male self help books versus women's self help books, the main difference, there's some kind of study that. Men's self help books, the messages you are shit. Women's self help books, the message is you are too good. And that somehow interest, like the difference between those two alive in all of us is the truth. We are all garbage and we are all great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And wrestling with that is how you find some kind of momentum forward.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I think if you think you're a piece of shit, it's only up from there, I think.

[B]

Or you think it's nothing. It's not worth the effort. So fuck my life.

[A]

Well, I guess. I guess I'm thinking of it as like the strategy of almost like boot camp where it's like we gotta break you down and rebuild you in the. In the mold of Tony Robbins or whatever.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like that kind of shit. Which wouldn't have worked for me either because part of your dad being the one who tells you you're a piece of shit is thinking every authority figure can suck your dick. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, right. You become a permanent rebel where it's.

[A]

Like fuck you, you don't know shit. And then also, you know, no disrespect to my dad, he didn't really know what the fuck he was doing. Very talented carpenter. Didn't have. Didn't re. Like could have stand. Could stand a little in every other department. Very charming guy. Good at what he did, but wasn't like a long term strategic thinker. You know what I mean?

[B]

His long term plan may have been you. It was because you weren't living up to expectations. He needed to destroy you.

[A]

I guess. I mean, what's funny is I don't even think he thought that you.

[B]

Maybe not literally.

[A]

It was just like. It wasn't even destroyed. It was like. Well, I guess I'm not going to give a. About that. And then the funny thing is like, it paid off, of course, but not in the any way he thought, like, that's.

[B]

It would be great for him to turn on you and be like, yeah, that was my plan.

[A]

That would be.

[B]

Can you imagine in Greek he's telling you, just so you know, Savvy. That's what I wanted.

[A]

I would love to see him attempt that. I would love to see him would try that with a straight face. But yeah, there was just a boat where I was like, I think I'm. I mean, maybe part of that is also being an immigrant kid because it's like you do just have a better handle on the culture you grow up in than your family.

[B]

No doubt.

[A]

You're like, you're the authority. I'm smarter than you. Like, from a young age, you're like, I know what the fuck I'm doing. You don't fucking know shit. So I don't know, it was a weird. It just did create this completely this nightmare personality that has been tough to live with. But, you know.

[B]

You're talking about him or you now?

[A]

Me, no, my dad's personality is more like. It's not even a nightmare. It's just like what happens when you grow up in Greece in the fucking 50s and, you know, nobody really gives a fuck.

[B]

Post war Greece?

[A]

Yeah, post war Greece. Your parents are in an arranged marriage. That was like, they were like the fourth choice for both of them. You know what I mean? It's like they're each other's safety spouse.

[B]

This is your genetic history you're talking about here. Yeah, one generation removed.

[A]

Like, not even. Not in the 1600s. We're talking about. These people were, you know, these people were listening to the radio, smoking cigarettes and dancing like this. You know what I mean? Like, it's not that far back, but yes, that's. And you know, I don't. I don't think that's a very loving environment to, you know, grow up in.

[B]

But you know what? It sounds like he needed to figure out a way to make his identity work. And when that didn't, he started lashing out.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

I love your dad. I love your story about when he finds out you're gonna become a stand up comedian.

[A]

Yeah. Calls you classic. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't believe it.

[B]

So your mother tells me you're doing comedy.

[A]

Brutal.

[B]

Let's relive all of this right now.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's.

[B]

Anyway, yeah. Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie.

[A]

Your mom said you were an ugly piece of shit.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, these, these stories, it's funny. I think anything you Remember from childhood. Pay attention.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why do you remember it?

[A]

Yeah. Because that's. I mean, totally. Because probably your parents, to them, it was not. How many fires have they put out? Raising a kid is one emergency after another.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And there's one innocuous memory that you have held on to. That, to them was like, dude, that was. Remember that?

[B]

Dude, I smacked you. Like, what are you talking about? You remember that?

[A]

Yeah. You had tetanus poisoning. We had to take you to the doctor. You know what I mean? Like, Right.

[B]

You almost got hit by a bull, and I pulled you out of the way. Like, you remember this one line? But it's so funny. It's like, that memory is so bizarre. I heard, you know, the Mandela effect. You know what this is, right? Like, where you falsely remember this thing?

[A]

Berenstain. Berenstain Bear example.

[B]

I heard that. The truth about that is that human beings just make memories in certain ways. And it's the whole reason why everybody thinks that in Empire Strikes Back, Vader says, luke, I am your father, when really he said, no, I am your father. And this secret like that. The difference between those two is the. The truth of the Mandela effect, which is when we make a memory, we make it useful. And, luke, I am your father is a story. So even though Vader didn't say that, that was the context of the line. In the same way that Mandela dying in prison has a martyr idea to it. And so our brain is just like, oh, that's the story. The story is, Nelson Mandela was a hero. He was a martyr. So of course he died in jail.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Baron Stain Bears. There is no last name.

[A]

Stainless steel. Yeah.

[B]

We only know stains.

[A]

Yeah, we know this.

[B]

And so our brain goes, well, it must be steam.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And it's the same with these childhood memories that just get locked in your head because your brain is like, this is important. And I don't know why.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But remember this forever. Remember how your dad breathed on the phone when he found out you were going to be a comedian, and I will not let you forget? And they don't tell you why.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The same way that when you wake up for a nightmare, you're like, well.

[A]

What'S going on there?

[B]

What's going on?

[A]

Nothing kills momentum faster than a big opportunity slipping through the cracks because everyone assumed someone else was on it. Sounds like Stavie Baby Enterprises. Hire your friends, change their lives. They continuously pass the buck pretending it's a huge multinational corporation. Boy, I really need to be looking at the quo in 2026 the real globe is communication that actually works. A team that knows what's happening and never misses. The customer's already trying to give you money. Eventually you look at the chaos, sigh and think, let's fucking Quo. Honestly, I am thinking let's fucking quo. A lot of stuff falls through the cracks in this if you can even call this podcast company an organization. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q U O. The smarter way to run your business Communications. Quo works wherever you are, right from an app on your phone or computer and lets you keep your existing number, add new numbers or teammates in minutes, sync your CRM, and rely on seamless routing and call flows as your business scales. Make this the year where no opportunity and no customer slips away. Try quo for free plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.comstavvi that's Q-U-O.com st a v-v y quo no missed calls, no missed customers Learning a new language is one of those skills that truly stays with you and it's incredibly rewarding once you start hearing yourself understand and speak it naturally. Rosetta Stone makes it simple to get started and easy to keep going. Rosetta Stone has been the trusted leader in language learning for over 30 years. Their immersive, intuitive method helps you truly pick up your new language naturally. No memorizing random vocabulary lists. No feeling lost. Rosetta Stone fits your lifestyle with flexible on the go learning access lessons from your desktop or mobile app, whether you have five minutes or an hour. With millions of users in 25 languages to choose from, including Spanish, French, German, Japanese and more, Rosetta Stone is the go to tool for real language growth. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential. Now. Stavi's World listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit RosettaStone.comstavi to get started and claim your 50 off today. Go to Rosetta Stone.comstavi and start learning today. What? What about your father? Did he think you were ugly as well?

[B]

No, my dad was like, I got a similar story to you with, with you realizing that, oh, I know more about this culture than my dad does, which is, my dad was super funny. He's a salesman basically. And, and whenever I'm like in one of my own movies, I'm always playing a kind of salesman like in Yvonne in the Band.

[A]

Yeah, true, true.

[B]

I just sell. Well, that's what directing is, you know this. You're trying to sell.

[A]

Trying to convince people to do things.

[B]

Your way or even just convince them of a vision that they can be happy with. Because that's what great salesmen do.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, you're happy you bought it.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right. You don't feel robbed? I didn't trick you.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

You can't.

[A]

Like, best case scenario, a salesman wants to sell, but he wants you to be happy and he was mad.

[B]

Exactly. And like, the best car salesman in the world, they don't make a ton of money on one car. They make money on 40 cars. Right, right. That you tell your family, this guy's the best. They tell their family, and so you sell them a lot. Anyway, my dad really had this. But he was always so funny. Like, so, so funny to me. I was like, my dad's the funniest person in the world. And then, like, around same age, like 11 or 12, we would always have dinner together at the table. I have a bunch of siblings.

[A]

Oh, you have a bunch of siblings?

[B]

Yeah, I've got a brother and two sisters. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna try being funny. And it was that this age where I realized, wait a minute, I'm funnier than my dad is. And it changed my life forever. Where my dad would always kind of talk a lot and tell jokes at the table, and then he just stopped. And he didn't stop because he was upset or anything like that. And he never said to me, wow, you're funny. In fact, he doesn't even think I'm particularly funny. Neither does my mom. But my siblings were all like, this is unbelievable. You are so funny. We can't believe it. And. And my life changed.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

After that moment.

[A]

No. And your dad was not. You don't think he was mad or not?

[B]

Not even a bit.

[A]

He wasn't jealous. He was just like, well, Matt's doing this now.

[B]

My parents, they watch my movies or anything. I think Tony, the movie you and I made, is gonna be the first movie they can sit down and watch and be like, oh, you made a movie?

[A]

Even BlackBerry? Nah.

[B]

I mean, it's.

[A]

I mean, it's at least kind of you can fall.

[B]

And it's Canadian. And my dad loves business, so.

[A]

So.

[B]

So, yeah, like, he likes it.

[A]

Your dad's favorite genres? Canadian. Canadian business.

[B]

No, no, no, no. My dad's favorite genre is, like, the same as, I think, a lot of the movies you love, which is, like 80s action. Like. Like revenge. Exactly.

[A]

Like, sounds like a cool guy.

[B]

What?

[A]

Dude Sounds like the man he, he likes.

[B]

He's selling pension funds.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

Pension funds to unions. So he was the guy. He's got, he's got such a high low life because he came from like nothing like, like a poorest dirt family that had immigrated from Iceland to Winnipeg and then to Thunder Bay. And his dad was a newspaper guy. They had a scrappy existence in this, in this small town. It was logging town, Icelandic town, basically. Lots of fins as well. And he goes to school at. In Toronto and. Well, near Toronto and gets a business degree. And then he becomes the kind of union sales guy within a pension fund company. And so all of his buddies are all union people. So he was like selling basically insurance in a way, but only to like blue collar union people people. So that was his whole life just traveling around Canada with the union guys. Dealing with union guys.

[A]

Constantly taking them out.

[B]

Yeah. Doing karaoke like union bros. Well, like in Mad Men. Except in Canada.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And for pensions as opposed to advertising. Right.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty fun.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Blue collar account, right?

[B]

Yeah, the blue collar account at Integra Capital Management Corporation. But I love them. I mean I, I get all of my. I feel like every kid can either. You might probably agree with this. You can either be the best of your parents or the worst of your parents.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And you can see, I know when people are these things.

[A]

You're like, totally.

[B]

You're the crazy part of your mom and you got the, the anger psycho ness of your dad. Or you can have your parents when they're at their best. You can have those qualities too.

[A]

Yeah. And truly, I mean, I see that my dad, for all his shit, like, which it wasn't ultimately. The other thing is, it's so annoying when you grow up and you have empathy for your parents.

[B]

You're like, yeah, right. I love you.

[A]

Anyway, this guy, his life sucked dick. You know what I mean? It's like. And it was like. It was. A lot of it was his fault, but it still was bad.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

You know what I mean? It's like. And a lot of it wasn't his fault though too. Right. Like a lot of his like, like we just said where he came from and post war Greece, like, you know, with his parents, whatever. But he, he is really funny and he is really like, you know, charming and he does. And he has a charisma to him where I'm like, without that, there's no way I'm doing any of this.

[B]

Yeah. You can't deny that in some Ways you. Your power is that you have so much charisma, it is at odds in some way. Do you know what I mean? 100 people are so fascinated and love you so much because they're like this guy. It's almost like you have the light of God in you. In a way, I think that's a.

[A]

Little much, but I don't.

[B]

You'll never see it that way.

[A]

But my. But the whole point is the. Like I say on paper, it's bad.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

It's real bad.

[B]

Like Danny DeVito and twins.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still. Whatever you get the rights to, we got to remake that.

[B]

But who's. Who's Arnie?

[A]

I've thought about it a lot. I don't. You know, we could figure something out.

[B]

It would be. No, no, no. We get Arnold's kid.

[A]

Arnold's kid could work. He's not jacked enough.

[B]

He could be joking me.

[A]

You're right. He could. Genetics.

[B]

If we. If we called White Lotus guy and we're like, dude, if you want to remake, we need you to put on 30 pounds of muscle tomorrow. I'll do it right now. Dude. That's a great project.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Call in if you have ideas for that.

[A]

If you can get us the rights.

[B]

To twins, 20 bucks. You know they're joking.

[A]

You know, they were gonna remake it. We called. Not remake it, but they're gonna do a sequel called Triplets. And the third twin was just going to be Eddie Murphy. And I'm not even kidding. And the. And the whole. You know how it's like, one's jacked and smart and one's dumb and just. He's black and this is like the 80s were like. That was a chorus. A bankable idea. Like, yeah, that's. That. That's. Yeah. That's a type of guy you can be. It's like a black. Just black. It's fucking hilarious.

[B]

Yeah. If they got it right by 89.

[A]

They would have been okay because it's Eddie Murphy. And if they got him in his prime, it would have worked. Would have been fucking awesome.

[B]

I bet you we'd be talking about it like, we're talking about Miami Vice right now. Lost masterpiece.

[A]

But if it was late, if it was like. Or even if they tried to do it in this, like how they're redoing everything, it would have been one of the worst things.

[B]

It would never have been made.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have to make with an independent studio.

[A]

I would see a reboot. I would Just see a straight sequel with DeVito and Schwarzenegger right now, though, that I would be interested in.

[B]

Me too, because they both.

[A]

DeVito still got his fastball against.

[B]

Yeah, he's still hilarious because of, like.

[A]

He just steady working. And Schwarzenegger has now become an even more fascinating figure because of everything he's been through. And he's back and he's sort of acting and he's sort of a politician, and it's just a. He's a. He would be a much more captivating presence again. I think this. I'm ready to see him in movies again.

[B]

Yo, me too. 100%. If we. If this movie got made, it would be a lot like the BBC up series. I'm not sure if you've seen this. It's unbelievable. They follow a bunch of school children at age 7, then they go back at age 14, then 21, then 28.

[A]

And I haven't seen it, but it.

[B]

Seems half the kids are from, like, private school, ultra rich. And half of them are from, like, the poorest possible parts of, like, England. And you literally watch how their lives go all the way up. I think they're still going. I think they're like, in their 70s.

[A]

Holy.

[B]

Oh, it's a masterpiece. And super funny. And it starts like. It's on black and white. 16. Yeah, 16 millimeter, dude. It's completely worth it. And we can use that as a reference when we're pitching this to Arnold and DeVito. Be like, it's gonna be like the up serious.

[A]

Well, it could be. You know, it could be very. Something is super simple. Here's the sequel. Ready? It's I. I am Arnold's kid, and the jacked guy is DeVito's.

[B]

Oh, my God, this is incredible.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

And so they've got.

[A]

And one doesn't really know how to raise the other, and they're like, I don't get you. You know what I mean? It's like that happens sometimes. Sometimes, like an uncle just gets. Because they're brothers. And sometimes you just.

[B]

It's like. It's like the ball gene.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes it fucking happens. So this could really work. This could really work.

[B]

You may be watching the genesis of your. Your next favorite film, the twin sequel, starring staff. Although it's gonna be pretty tough for the audience to buy that actual Schwarzenegger's kid is not his kid. But DeVito's kid also raises all these questions about. Oh, they. So they. Each other's wives.

[A]

No, I guess not.

[B]

Because the genetic.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

They're just each other's sisters.

[A]

No, they just different. I guess they'd have to be similar.

[B]

Well, I just mean, like, they would.

[A]

Find twins and them. They would be married to twins or whatever that happens. That could happen. Or maybe just sisters.

[B]

We'll figure it out. Crack team of writers come to be they.

[A]

It was one lady got inseminated by. This was.

[B]

This is a real 80s plot that I think they glossed over in one sentence.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was the same as the movie Junior where they made Arnold Schwarzenegger pregnant. And you're like, wait, how did they do this one sentence since. Yeah, that's how they did it. Baby. Combined like a bunch of super jizz.

[A]

I think it was a combination of super jizz. The detritus was Danny DeVito.

[B]

That's his bait line. The left over.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, so we'll figure it out. Maybe they both. They both were in the. Whatever. It doesn't matter. We don't need to get bogged. Yeah.

[B]

This is not our problem. We're gonna get.

[A]

This is for the writers.

[B]

The writers who are gonna hate our guts as we come in and give them speeches like this, guys. So easy. Like, just figure this out. We're gonna go eat some more Russ and daughter's bagels. We'll be back in 40 minutes.

[A]

I want a draft. I want a outline on my desk by the end of the day. I can't wait. I can't wait to get through that.

[B]

Yeah. Once Tony comes out, you're gonna realize how. Yeah. These two. They're the ones that. They're the ones that need to be elevated from this Bourdain movie.

[A]

Absolutely. I mean, it's so funny to think about who's involved in that movie.

[B]

You and I are literally at the bottom. Danny DeVito of the Bourdain movie couldn't.

[A]

Be more at the bottom of. It's gonna. Everyone's career is gonna skyrocket and we'll be doing fine. Don't get me wrong.

[B]

We'll be doing this.

[A]

We'll be doing fine. We will be pitching twins.

[B]

We're the Bourdain guys. But you can put it on the trailer.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, Dom, Amelia, Antonio Banderas.

[B]

Leo Woodall.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, these. Everybody right now, market. They are going to get so famous. And me and Matt are going to keep podcasting together.

[B]

Yeah. Well, you know, we're going to be happy.

[A]

We're going to be happy.

[B]

The magic movie factory.

[A]

The lights never turn off another thing. So Nirvana bend the show. The movie. Another Thing I want to talk about is a time travel movie, and it is. It has elements of Back to the Future.

[B]

Yeah. It's basically, we took the plot of Back to the Future and tried to literally do the exact same piece of it for real. Because we didn't have this team of writers to write our movies. So we thought, let's just see what Zemeckis did.

[A]

Literally take one of the best movies.

[B]

And do it verbatim. And when you see the movie, you'll see that it. I'm not joking at all.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The entire third act of the movie was like, oh, and then we got to get the cable to the wall, but it's too short.

[A]

It was awesome. And that I love that too, is because it's like. That's my philosophy for comedy movies, too, is like, look, a plot is important, obviously, but it's like. It's like celery and peanut butter.

[B]

Yeah, right, right. It's just holding the peanut butter.

[A]

Plot is just the peanut butter. It's the jokes.

[B]

Naked. Naked Gun did this.

[A]

Naked Gun was perfect.

[B]

Yeah, Naked Gun. You told me about that, where you were like, go check this movie out.

[A]

Yeah, it was Shout out to those guys. It was fucking really good. I mean, the club, the originals are classics, but. Yeah. And that is. But it also is. Doing Back to the Future just makes it. Because every time. It's clearly a Back to the Future homage. You laugh, you're like, I can't believe these idiots are doing this. When you use, like, Sting from.

[B]

At one point, we literally used the exact same music from it. Because you know what? I think that one of the things that comedy movies like, all the ones that I love the most, you don't need to. Your brain should not be trying to figure out if you missed something or if something is like, that's not what it's about 100%. Like, you're trying to create an experience where it takes your breath away in the sense that you are caught up in it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And I don't have the sophistication to write one of those movies, as you know. You acted in my last one.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

It's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's extremely painful to get from page to page. And so by having that in some ways taken care of and making it a. A bonus. Not a problem.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Right. It's a feature. As opposed to it being like, wait a minute, it's just Back to Future rip off this. It's like, oh, whoa. A Back to the Future rip off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that's Badass.

[A]

And in the ways. It's like the ways you. The things that equate, you know, just. It's very funny and you should go. Everybody should go see it. My one criticism though, if you're gonna do it Back to the future, sort of homage, ripoff, whatever, there is no mention of wanting to your own mom.

[B]

We tried.

[A]

Which. Which is.

[B]

Have I told. Have I told you the story, what my mom said about my looks? Yeah.

[A]

This one, it's like you go back in time, your mom's like, don't look the. Out of here.

[B]

I put. I put my mom in my first movie because I'm always shooting movies where the people don't know they're in the movie. And in my first movie, the Dirties, she's in it.

[A]

Oh, that was your mom?

[B]

That's my legit mom. That's who I go up to. And I say, hey, mom, do you think. I mean, this is right before. If you don't know is right before I go kill everybody in my high.

[A]

School, dirt is checking.

[B]

And right before I go ask my actual mother, hey, mom, do you think I'm crazy? And it's funny. She gives a similar answer. She goes crazy. No. I guess you're a bit of a wild guy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And that's. And that's right before I go on a rampage.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

So that would not have worked in this one. Although. Well, you know what? We better drop the topic. I was about to say Jay's mom is extremely beautiful, but. But I don't know. She really is. He's famous for this. That his mom is actually, to be fair, both of his parents, if you.

[A]

Saw them, they're like pieces ass.

[B]

They're like 80s. They could be on magazines. They're so good looking that you, you, when you meet them, you laugh. My mom, when she first met them, she laughed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She was like, yeah, they're so, so good.

[A]

That's tough to be the one. The guy whose mom is gorgeous.

[B]

She's gorgeous and she's never funny and friendly and she's an artist. Like, she's. She's just. Yeah, everybody loves it.

[A]

That's tough to be the guy who's like, everyone has a crush on your mom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they'll let you know.

[B]

You know, Oddly enough, Jay's never brought this up with me. And so I don't think he struggled with it at all.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

I think he was so handsome that he didn't need to worry. He didn't need to worry about it.

[A]

Well, of Course, everyone's.

[B]

Everyone loves my mom. Everyone loves me. This is the way the world works. What's it like for you?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm just saying that's my. That's my one criticism is that it could. That's such a big part of.

[B]

Yeah. And it's probably the most memorable part.

[A]

When it's like, it's crazy how much of that movie is about almost your mom. And like. And then, like, bit like I actually watched it recently. Just was on tv, and it was like, it's crazy. Just like, how cool they are with Biff afterwards.

[B]

It's ridiculous to rape the guy's mom.

[A]

Like, imagine if the guy who tried to rape you in high school, you're like, I will give him a job.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Now he can wash my car.

[A]

He washes your car? A guy. And then also he turns, like, mentally disabled because it's like, they just turn like. Maybe that was part of. I don't know, Maybe that was like a Reagan tough on crime thing. I guess it was in the 50s. So maybe there's like an alternate. Maybe that's part of the butterfly effect. They start, like, giving the sexually violent lobotomies.

[B]

Yeah, right, right.

[A]

Explain. That would explain Biff's you being like, I washed your car up real nice. It's a hilarious part of that.

[B]

I. I remember it vividly. And now I'm also realizing that in the second movie, the mother transforms into a. Like, a pornographic sex symbol. Do you remember where she gets a breast augmentation surgery? And now she's Biff's basically sex slave. So it's like he doesn't Dr. Freudian your mother. See her sexually. See her sexually.

[A]

And that's the first. He really, like. Zemeckis does do a lot. He really highlights big tits a lot.

[B]

Loves.

[A]

That was the F. I think, giving her the big tits in the second one starts because he did who Framed Roger Rabbit? I mean, come on.

[B]

The biggest.

[A]

Come on. That was awesome. That's fucking awesome. And a big part of my personality, big time. Being a kid, being kid who's like, think. Kind of starting to understand you're funny. And then being like, wait a minute.

[B]

I can get a cartoon girlfriend. Hold on a second.

[A]

Truly, like, you know, and she's hilarious and.

[B]

What did she say? I just love funny guys.

[A]

Yeah. He just makes me laugh.

[B]

He just makes me laugh.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Sometimes changed you. Sometimes you're like. The way we were talking about, like, random memories as a kid. It's like showing me that movie.

[B]

And having may have. Yeah, that. That. That Roger has got the hottest girl in Toontown. And the reason is he just makes me laugh.

[A]

It might have just sealed my entire fate.

[B]

Right there. Right there.

[A]

It's really possible. I saw that movie really early.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

Yeah. I was like probably five, dude. Great movie. But yeah. Then he does Beowulf where they have busty. Angelina Jolie's got her tits out. And there's like a busty wench. Bar wench.

[B]

I'm thinking there's a couple. Yeah.

[A]

And then I think he married after he gets divorced. I think he just married like the biggest. Yes. A very busty lady. Which tip my cap to Zemeckis. You know, I'd love to see you make a regular movie again, man.

[B]

That last one he made, he just set up a camera in a house. I didn't see it. Yeah, it was a cool, cool pitch.

[A]

I want to see it. Actually.

[B]

Somebody I trust a lot said it was a masterpiece. And then 90 people told me, you will not believe this got made. It's horrible.

[A]

Yeah. So yeah, I gotta it. I do want to watch it. But yeah. So that for Nirvana, the band, to show the movie too.

[B]

I would say let's ups and downs.

[A]

Let's get the Freudian stuff in there.

[B]

I'll pack it full. The thing is, and you can attest to this, it's very difficult to put characters like that in sexual situations.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

It feels like Uncanny Valley.

[A]

Weird.

[B]

Wrong. It would be like if Calvin and Hobbes started like ogling like a Playboy magazine. You'd like put it down. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? What? What? You know, it's. There's something impure about it.

[A]

No, you're right, there is.

[B]

They're pre pubescent in a way.

[A]

Characters are a little asp. They're almost if Tom Hanks in big perfect example who you guys are.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because you're. You're child archetypes in.

[B]

In adult bodies. And that's why the time travel thing's so important that they can innocently go back to when they were young. And for Jay, he's seeing like, oh my God, I haven't improved at all. And Matt is being like, hell yeah, wicked. Like I'm exactly the same as I was. That is me honoring myself. But to involve a sexual dynamic is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like it would seem perverse. Perverse in the wrong way.

[A]

Yeah, I would. It is interesting though, because I could see if it would be anything. It would be the classic Sort of like Matt can't get pussy. Jay.

[B]

Jay. Of course it tears our relationship apart.

[A]

It kind of would maybe just be the dirty's plot.

[B]

Well, we know how that ends. Yeah.

[A]

And it would probably end the same way. Yeah.

[B]

Next one. Yeah. Well, Jay I think would go for it for sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jay, in this movie you are a ladies man. Women can't get their hands off of you.

[A]

Although now there is a time travel element of your mom is involved. So we'll take the good with the bad scams feel like they're everywhere lately. Cash App is a financial services platform with built in security features to designed to help protect your account with security lock. Cash App requires face ID or biometric authentication to access your account if your phone is lost or stolen. If you're about to send money to someone new and something looks off, Cash App can send a warning before it's sent so you can double check. If the woman you're sending money to is much too hot, it'll double check. They're working on that. Right now it's just biometric authentication, but soon they'll be able to see are you busted? Should you not be giving $2,000 to someone who's just a dime piece? They're working on it. I have it on good authority, but for now they'll keep you from getting scammed. Turning on security lock and paying attention to scam warnings can help add an additional layer of protection. Learn more at CashApp App Security I love using Cash App I gotta give now. Look, I don't pay Eldis's wages in Cash App anymore. There was a time where this company didn't have a whole bank account and was being run from my phone. And when that was the case as a fledgling startup, Cash App was wonderful. But these days you want to send over your buddy 40 bucks because you owe him for some noodles. I just realized now I've just outed myself of spending $40 on noodles. That's the fattest amount I could have said. Noodles cost like 3 cents. Whatever it is, whether it's $40 worth of noodles, whether it's $200 worth of vanilla bean ice cream, Cash App is easy to use with no matter what and you won't get frickin scammed for a limited time. New Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use code Secure10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member fdic. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App a Block Inc. Brand Visit CashApp App Legal Podcast for full disclosures. Life is pretty busy for me right now. I'm on tour, I'm shooting a show. We do the podcast every week and we are planning my next special. Things are a little all over the place. I realized cooking healthy meals on my own, that wasn't gonna happen. I need a little help. And that's where Factor comes in. Factor doesn't ask you to meal prep or follow recipes. It just removes the entire problem. Two minutes. Real food. Done. You're not failing at healthy eating. You're failing at having three extra hours every night. Factor is already made by chefs, designed by dietitians, and delivered right to your door. Factor meals are made with lean proteins, colorful vegetables, whole food ingredients, and healthy fats. The stuff you'd make if you had the time. I love the cilantro chicken. That just hits the spot. Nice spicy corn, little rice and beans, some chicken breasts. I get my proteins, I get my fiber. It's a wonderful meal. Head to FactorMeals.com Stavi 50 off and use code Stavi50OFF to get 50% off your first Factor box. Plus free breakfast for one year. Offer only valve for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with Factor. Yeah, but go see the. Listen, folks. Go see the movie in theaters. Everywhere in theaters we do this. This is very funny because we actually, by accident, had booked all black guests for Black History Month. By accident. We didn't even. We just happened to book four black. Four black comedians in a row.

[B]

So perfect.

[A]

But because now we have interrupted. That's how much we believe in independent comedy.

[B]

So I'm. I'm essentially a paragraph break.

[A]

You're basically. You're. Yeah. You're a Canadian. Yeah, we. And not only is it like a. It's not just a regular white guy, it's a Canadian. And we heard his dad was Finnish.

[B]

I mean, Icelandic.

[A]

Icelandic.

[B]

My mom's Finnish. My mom's finish.

[A]

We're talking the whitest. We're interrupting Black History Month for maybe the whitest guy you can think of.

[B]

A. I'll take it.

[A]

An Icelandic Finn, Canadian independent filmmaker. It doesn't get whiter than that, folks. But that's how much we believe in independent comedies. Go see it if you want us to keep making dumbass comedies. Like I said, let's start a cult. Famously made over $0.1 million at the box office. And we're trying to at least triple that with Nirvana, the band, the show. We'd love for you to get.

[B]

To get there. $3 million if we even touch that. I can say for, like, every. Every decimal place on that. This twin sequel is literally getting closer to the light of day.

[A]

But it is true. If you are the kind of person who loves. Who watches Dumbass podcasts, right? And you miss. People complain all the time. Like, I do. Like, I go to shows. Or even when I'm starting to ask.

[B]

Why don't they make comedy movies anymore? All the time.

[A]

Go see the fucking movie. This is how important it is we have. We're hurting race relations in America at a very tough time just to promote comedies in movies, in movie theaters. Go see them. And it is very funny. I fucking love the movie. It was very funny, and you should go see it. And yes, we also have another movie coming at some point this year where. Thank you. Gave me the opportunity to eat lobster every single day.

[B]

Every day I ate. If I probably. I wish there was a documentary made.

[A]

We should have just had a camera, a GoPro right at my station.

[B]

Lobster eating. Because Stavros was the guy who made the lobster rolls in the movie, like, literally that he's in charge of. It's 1975. And remember our food stylist?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who? Christine, who was so brought in the freshest. She was every single day. And basically handed it to Stavros. And Stav's like, okay, so what do I do with this? And she's like, every single take, no matter what, you are making lobster, and you remember, you got to taste it to make sure it's good stuff.

[A]

Like, okay, I got fresh lobster. She was. Christine wanted everything to look awesome. She was so good at her job. And what that meant was, there's a lot of lobster coming in constantly. And it's like, look, we're throwing this lobster away. Or am I having legitimately six lobster rolls?

[B]

I ate some of those. They're delicious.

[A]

I would make. I would hand them out to people. I would have them for lunch. It was awesome. So, yeah, that was a beautiful. And then there's also soft serve at the lunch. I mean, it was a tough.

[B]

That was hard for both of us. I warned you beforehand. I was like, now listen, the catering on this is pretty crazy because they brought up a dude from New Orleans named Frenchie, and he's bringing all the best. And I am. I have a problem with food.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As. Yeah, we share that.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

And so we had Gigantic lunches and gigantic dinners every single day.

[A]

It was pretty awesome. Shout out to may he rest in peace.

[B]

Yeah. It was in honor of Bourdain.

[A]

In honor of Bourdain that we ate.

[B]

As much as we could out of a soft serve machine after eating lobster rolls. Just like Bourdain would have done.

[A]

Just like Bordeaux would have done.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Lobster roll, whatever. Whatever weird spaghetti or whatever they were serving. Plus some like a sheet cake for some reason and cookies.

[B]

Odd mix.

[A]

New Orleans is a crazy place, but I'm getting. It was fucking awesome. We should take some calls here. Eldest, I believe. Real quick though, Matt, since you are a food guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What would you say your fate. What would you say your ideal sandwich would be?

[B]

To be totally honest? Yeah, they're like my ideal or the best actual literal sandwich I've ever had.

[A]

We can do both.

[B]

Okay. There's this place in Toronto called Donna's that does a steak sandwich. There's a Copenhagen style restaurant and they make this kind of steak sandwich that you can't explain. It's got like a. This, like this slice of almost horseradish root in it. I've never been a steak sandwich guy my whole life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they make a breakfast version and a lunch version. This sandwich is like Donna's in Toronto. When you come, we'll go, I can't wait. It's like, it's like true. Like Danish Copenhagen restaurant.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That just makes these steaks.

[A]

I had a great steak sandwich in Japan.

[B]

I do it.

[A]

But it was like a high end steakhouse. All what they did was if you had leftovers, they would make it into a sandwich for you. It was incredible.

[B]

This is my dream.

[A]

It's incredible.

[B]

It's like. Yeah. Where they give you a whole pile of food, you eat that and they say then they transform it into a new food. You eat that and the crumbs just keep going.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like no matter what, they find a way to transform.

[A]

Yeah, dude. Yeah. And then what would you. If you had to craft a sandwich.

[B]

On my own, it would be like half caramelized onions, one third cheese.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What's my percentage at? I think I've got a fifth left. I mean, cheese and onions.

[A]

Cheese and onions.

[B]

That's huge for me.

[A]

And would you put steak in there?

[B]

Yeah, I would probably put hamburger in it.

[A]

Hamburger. Oh, interesting.

[B]

Yeah, I'd probably. But. But you know, honestly, the sandwiches that we just ate, like that chopped liver.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm crazy. Yeah, I'll eat, I'll eat tuna. I. I'm so Catholic when it comes to my taste that it almost doesn't matter. I love savory things. And I have a. I have a definite eating disorder.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So really what I love is what's there.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

What's in front of me. That's what I like.

[A]

Yeah. But the problem with the eating disorder, though, is, like, when it really kicks in, you don't actually enjoy anything. You know what I mean? There's a beautiful moment before it goes crazy. There's like a week before you're in the throes of it where you know. Exactly. You crave stuff. Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Your eating sort of gets so bad you don't crave anything.

[B]

You just want to. It's the process of eating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I've been in line at a shitty job, and it's like. I worked at a community college, and I was just, like, in line regretting the meal I was about to have. I could have stopped. That's.

[B]

That's.

[A]

But it was like. But I was. And I didn't like it. It was like, you know, some shitty cafeteria where it's like a. You know, just a cheesesteak and shitty fries. And I was like, I'm gonna feel bad. But I didn't stop. I could have stopped at any moment.

[B]

I play board games with, like, my closest friends. Shout out. Brian, Steve, everybody. We order pizzas, and I'm always the guy that orders the pizzas, or Brian will bring them from north of Brooklyn, and in one sitting, I will eat. And I'm talking about large pizzas. Like two, two and a half, entire pizzas, literally.

[A]

I believe you.

[B]

I'll eat two and a half pizzas myself over the course of maybe four hours.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And I just can't.

[A]

That's a good clip.

[B]

And these are gigantic.

[A]

Yeah. And so we're talking 16 slices over four hours. That's not so four.

[B]

Oh, I think it's.

[A]

I think it's close.

[B]

I think it's close to 6 or 7,000 calories.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just thinking in terms of a slice every 15 minutes. That's easy money.

[B]

The pace. Yeah, that's a fine pace.

[A]

I'm just thinking about the pace. I'm like, I could do that pace, but I know you mean it's up.

[B]

Yeah, it's bad. It's a problem. I have a problem. Like, I have. I have a real problem. Like, I know that if I stopped exercising within maybe a month.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would. I would die.

[A]

That's what happened to me. When I fucked my back up.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[A]

It's been fucking brutal. But we're gonna get back, folks.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Let's fucking take some calls from two of the most. Well, like two of the most well adjusted guys.

[B]

I know. It's funny, eh? It's amazing how in. In this world producers are always the most grounded. Normal.

[A]

Yeah, well, this is a idiot and a piece of. But, yeah.

[B]

No, no, no, I'm brilliant. There's things going on behind.

[A]

Stop. That he's not doing.

[B]

Watching Miami Vice reruns.

[A]

How about this? Hold on. Play the first call. Let's see if you get it right this time.

[B]

All right, let's see.

[C]

Hi.

[D]

Stop. Elder it up half the time.

[B]

Hope y' all are well.

[D]

Too long. So I'm just gonna jump right in. I'm pretty sure my best friend is faking having breast cancer. And I don't really know how to handle it. A few months ago, she told me she had breast cancer.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[D]

And it's getting radiation.

[A]

This is the first fun.

[D]

But immediately, some things just didn't really add up.

[A]

Up.

[D]

She said that she was diagnosed a year ago, but she only.

[A]

You know what I mean, he's a bad producer. Why would he start with breast cancer?

[B]

But you know what? I think I. I get the sense that. That what she's saying is that her friend is lying about what she said.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I think my friend's lying about.

[A]

So.

[B]

No, maybe. So maybe there's a trick here. Maybe this isn't like a funeral.

[D]

Yeah, he had breast cancer and is getting radiation. But immediately some things just didn't really add up. She said that she was diagnosed over a year ago, but she. She only just started treatment. She didn't know what type. Like what specific type of breast cancer she has. She couldn't tell me who her doctor was or even where she was getting treated. And that felt kind of off to me because cancer runs heavily in my family and I've been closely involved in like multiple diagnosis and diagnoses and treatment. You know, all my parents, my husband's, all my grandparents, my husband's grandparents, and then both my parents, she picked the. Had cancer. So I know that like, knowing the specific type is always sort of the first step. I offered to go with her to her appointments since she told me she wasn't telling anyone. Like I was the only person who knew. But she kind of brushed that off. And then the night before a radiation appointment I was supposed to join her for. She claimed she had therapy at 6:30 in the morning, and she stopped sharing her location with me, so she kind of canceled.

[A]

Oh, brother.

[D]

Me going with her, and I ended up kind of going unhinged mode. And I, like, drove by her house during the supposed appointment.

[B]

Everybody's losing you.

[A]

I see you faking cancer every. Stalking you before sunrise by saying, this is her friend. I do get it, though. It's like someone lying to you about cancer would kind of be like. Like, what the wrong with you? But, yeah, go ahead.

[D]

In our area. So I could safely say that she was home. Then later, I asked her again about her diagnosis, and she just still did not have an answer for me. She did not know what cancer type. She did not know her doctor. She didn't know her treatment location. And I was kind of like, what are you not telling me? And she didn't really have anything to say. And, you know, since then, we haven't really hung out that much. We kind of stopped talking. But now she's kind of reaching out again, and I'm a little bit stuck. Like, do I confront her? Do I distance myself? This is a long time friend. But she's lied about a few other big things before. And this situation specifically brings up kind of a lot of personal trauma for me. I don't know if I'm, like, overreacting or not, but, yeah, any advice would be appreciated. Thanks, y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

I mean, it's crazy to lie about having cancer. You're not overreacting. Also, she's lied about a couple big things before.

[B]

I wish we knew what the other ones were because of pregnancy, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

She might have faked an abortion or something. You know what I mean? I'm just thinking. I'm thinking in terms of the type of person that pretends to have breast cancer. They start with a fake pregnancy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's like the starter lie. That's the starter lie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There was a girl who did. When I was doing open mics, there was a girl who faked having cancer. Her. She, like, shaved her head. We had, like, benefits for her.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

And then she. And she, like. And then. But she would just. And then, you know, it's a shitty comedy scene. So there's like, everyone. Everyone's. When you start doing comedy, you do it to get up and, like, have a. You know. You know, I'm 19. I don't want a real job. And so we'd be at house parties getting up. But this girl's just, you know, her hair's, like, growing back, and she's got. She's got stubble, and she's just getting drunk, getting wasted.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She's in a hot tub. And it's like, is this what you do when you have cancer?

[B]

Was she doing jokes about it?

[A]

Is that what it was?

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so it was for material, and there were.

[A]

But, no, I think it was for attention. She was just like one of those, you know, she was insane.

[B]

This sounds exactly the same. You know, my advice to this woman would be the fact that you confronted her and it didn't change. What you should do is meet this person with some vulnerability and say, you must be in some pain.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Which is why you have done this. I know you're lying, and I forgive you. Yeah, I forgive you for lying to me. Why don't you tell me what it is that has got you so tangled up? Because I really am your friend, and you can tell me, and we can. We can begin a conspiracy together about what it is that has made you need to lie to everybody, because you must know why you're lying. And I'm telling it because the same way is absurd. Like this pantomime of trying to catch her. That's not the way to do anything. Yeah. It's like trying to catch, like, someone having, well, an affair, I guess is slightly different because you're looking for the evidence to end the relationship, but it's a cry for help. Your friend is. Is. Is crying for help.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think maybe if we knew some details of this woman's life, apart from the fake d. Cancer diagnosis, we would hear. She's alone. She's not happy with her job, like, nothing is working out.

[A]

Nothing's going good, and so she's creating.

[B]

An identity where she can all of a sudden have some people feel bad for her.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, absolutely. I think that's the move because it's. I guess this little cat and mouse game, it's like. Like, congrats, you caught a stupid.

[B]

You're both losers. You both lose.

[A]

Exactly. Exactly. You're. You want to be this one? You. You think this is your great mystery? This is why your shirt. You're. This is who you. This is your Moriarty. Your. Your shirt makes you sound weak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If this is who you're trying to pin down, you've entered the. The idiot Olympics here.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

So you should be above this. I think that's a great. Great thing is, like, look, you don't have cancer. Something's going on. Tell me what's going on.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

Tell me what is it? And then by the way, odds are she 50, 50 chance she lashes out and is like you whatever you let either way.

[B]

Yeah that, that it solves your problem one way or the other.

[A]

She comes back at some point. But at this point you've at least set the, set the sort of like the rules of engagement for how this relationship is going to go.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm not going to let you lie to me me, but I am here to support you and I think that's how you handle it. And then if she just is a super type B and does have cancer, you might feel like a real piece of this might just be an airhead who doesn't know what type of cancer.

[B]

She has happened to have therapy at 6:30 that morning.

[A]

Therapy was at 6:30pm but she read it wrong. She put it wrong on Google Calendar wrong like that. Look, you might 1% chance this, this woman has a real problem and you feel like a piece of shit. But otherwise I think that's, I think that's gamble. We're all willing to take here on.

[B]

This podcast and call back with the result, please.

[A]

Yeah, we'd love to know what's going on.

[B]

We'll be here.

[A]

We will, we will. What else you got for us?

[C]

LD hey, Starve eldest and esteemed guest. I would like to get your opinion on something. I'm going to talk fast because I've got a lot to say. I'm currently studying in Germany, but my dad and my mom who are divorced, live in California. About five months ago I got a call from my dad and he told me that he had a spiritual experience with chat gbt.

[A]

Oh no. He told me he was a problem. This is a big problem.

[B]

The fact that it, it invoked a.

[A]

Phone call to Germany.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, long distance.

[C]

He told me he was able to connect with it in a way that he could never connect with a human and that he would had a really deep conversation with it and that he made the chat bot like take on a personality of like a goddess and they had a conversation about reality or something. Anyway, it was really strange. I was pretty concerned but I was also on the other side of the globe. So I was like whatever. My dad's a weirdo, but I love him for being a weirdo. Hopefully he gets over this AI obsession. But a few months ago when I went back for, for winter break, he was still super enthralled.

[A]

He was. He was fucking installing a pocket pussy on a, on the fucking on an outlet. He was fucking. He had a. He had like, he. He had, like, circuits, and he was running it to the fucking modem he was putting up. He's like, chat GPT, calibrate, calibrate. Attach this pocket pussy to yourself. Chatgpt, please.

[C]

And I found out he was paying for chatgpt and I think a few other AI bots as well, which he's talking to constantly. He's not super financially stable, so anymore I was. I'm a little worried about that, but. Oh, God, I don't think it's that big of a deal anyways. He most of the time is talking to about, like, designing board games or about, like, the fractal nature of the universe and the universal lawyer stuff like that. It's just pretty constant. And like, every few hours, I'll just hear him talking to it because he speaks out his questions. He doesn't type them out.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[C]

And so he'll be talking like Tony Stark to Jarvis in the other room. He'll be asking something like, what do you think about the universe law that says everything only exists in relation to other things? Or something like that. That's a quote. Anyway, my question is just that.

[A]

No, it's more than that.

[C]

How far do you think I should let him go?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Before telling him that I think it's kind of weird or strange. And do you think I should be worried for him anyways?

[A]

Yes. First of all, that's. Your big fucking joker is telling him it's kind of weird.

[B]

Yeah. I was waiting for the question.

[A]

That's your big fucking AM Demo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That you're waiting to drop on him. Hey, dad, this is weird.

[B]

I called into a show and they told me that I did have permission to tell you. I think this is weird. So I want you to know that Stavro said I can tell you. You're weird. I thought he was gonna say that. Like, he asked me for money or he asked me to get involved with the chat bot. Like, I thought it was gonna lead to consequences. This is nothing like. In terms of.

[A]

I disagree.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no, no. Look, I'm not saying that he should do nothing. I'm saying that his sense of stakes is very low.

[A]

I don't know, though, because to me, it's like. It's like the fucking iceberg theory or whatever, where it's like, by the time you see this. By the time you see him talking to this, his dad's brain is so fucking warped that it's over. That his dad is fucking pure in psychosis.

[B]

Sounds like he's in love his dad.

[A]

Needs to be in a fucking straight jacket.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

This is fucking insane.

[B]

What if he winds up creating the greatest board game all the time with this woman?

[A]

He will not do that.

[B]

Yeah, look, I, I, obviously, first of.

[A]

All, what it's doing is just stealing settlers of Catan. Like these things.

[B]

Don't think until again. Brilliant.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just changing. It's like, oh, instead of, instead of.

[B]

A city, we'll call it a, A capital.

[A]

Yeah. Instead of like brick, it's stone. Instead of wheat, it's brick and stone are both in it or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, they change.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They're going to change wood to plants.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, it's just like, that's the other thing about these, these brilliant chatbots. They're stealing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And when people like Hollywood is so fucked. And they show like a martial art. Like they show like a. Can you imagine? And it's like, you know, some guy, it's like some AI, Bruce Lee, but it's just a fight from a Bruce Lee movie.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

Or they had, they, they showed one where it was like a guy was like changing into this armor. It was literally from Avengers. It was literally Iron man, but in a different color scheme.

[B]

They just re skimmed it literally.

[A]

They are just stealing. There is no innovation here. You're a fuck. If you, if you think AI is going to do anything, you're a fucking idiot. It's stealing your dad. I mean, look, this is not just to this guy anymore. This is a general thing. AI is fake as shit. It's just Google. It's just like. It's not like I bought a fucking tv. And they're like, thanks to AI now if you hold down on the button, that will make it mute. It's like, no, that's just a fucking button. You just program the button different. They're saying everything is AI and nothing is AI. Your dad is talking to Google. He's a fucking idiot. He's sad. He has nothing going on in his life and no woman will speak to him. I guarantee you he's jacking off to this thing. He hasn't told you that, but he's waiting to drop the bomb that him and this thing are in love, are getting mad. I promise you that that's gonna happen because this is. What a fucking loser. This is a dude. Imagine being like a divorced, kind of autistic guy who loves board games. In your dreams, some sexy lady listens to you talk about board games.

[B]

This is the Jessica Rabbit Thing all.

[A]

Over again really is where Jessica Rabbit out of computers.

[B]

Yeah, right again.

[A]

I just love that he likes board games.

[B]

Right. And she's a cartoon.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And she's a cartoon. And she just. And what's so crazy about these things is they are not going to be critical of you. And that I think is the biggest problem.

[A]

Not only not critical, they're going to say everything.

[B]

They're inflated.

[A]

You're the man. You're the. You're. And every. And while the world is stealing, is taking that from you is telling you everything is bad. Your material conditions are getting worse. This thing is telling you you can do no wrong. Now look, what do you do about it? Your dad is clearly like everyone else in fucking America. There's no community. He has no fucking friends. I used to be playing fucking board games.

[B]

Yeah, I was talking to a computer.

[A]

Or about fucking board games.

[B]

If you really do want to help this person, get your dad amongst like minded people who can together work out whatever kind of psychological issues they have through board game is great but. But get these people together. It sounds like your daddy is.

[A]

I mean it's over. My diagnosis. It's over.

[B]

Get the casket.

[A]

Not get the casket. Just be like look, try. But your mind goes. You go crazy.

[B]

California, there's a lot of people there. I hope he can find somebody take.

[A]

Your dad to Ye. I would. Obviously what change turns your dad's life around is going to a fucking store. You know one of these like board games club clubs. Like you fucking like there's people who definitely share his interest. But that's, that's the scariest thing here is that board games. He couldn't find a fucking Reddit about board.

[B]

You'd be surprised how common it is for people to look at which board games play the best by yourself. This is an extremely common online.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes. Because that's the board game. That kind of systems based guy who's like I just want to play board games. They have trouble meeting new people. It's very, very common.

[A]

Okay. I would have thought that okay it.

[B]

Show you there are tons of groups where people get together and play board games.

[A]

But, but just. Does your dad have any fucking friends? Like one good thing like I'm very happy that the immigrant shit with my, my parents is like they A don't understand computers but B like like my dad to his like I, I am envious of how much him and his boys, Greek boys, they go to a coffee shop, watch soccer. Like I, I like going over there and like you know he'll be having coffee. I'll just go hang out for a couple hours.

[B]

It keeps you sane. Contact people.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. He's got a like, dude, the. The best part is arguing with these Greek guys who are anti immigrant. And I'm like. I'm like, what are you. We are. I was like, go back to Greece. Then he's like, I don't want to go back to Greece. I'm like, that's my.

[B]

What are you talking about? Good ones. I'm one of the good ones.

[A]

They don't get it. I mean, that's how fucked we are. Anyway. But anyway, that as fucked as that guy is in his thinking, your dad is. I mean, I just think his dad's fucked. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean stop trying, but try and get him out of his shell. Try and have him make friends. But he's your fucking dad.

[B]

Have a pitch?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Germany, in the town of Essen, has the biggest board game convention in the world. A place called Spiel. Tell your dad, hey, dad, visit this year for Spielberg. Come hang out with me. Your dad will be like, hell yeah. It's an amazing part of Germany. And what's great is there's like, I think a hundred thousand people descend on this place. And he will meet so many people. They all speak English. And here's a little code word you want to know. As you go from booth to booth, you ask for goodies. And that is just free giveaways that all the board games will give. They all call them goodies. Goodies, goodies. Any goodies? Any goodies? I heard it non stop. Yeah, I went, I guess in 20, 2013 when I'd made my first movie by accident. Take him to Spiel. Take him to Spiel.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

It means play. And then you can make this California German teamwork.

[A]

That's the first step. And also, what's sex work like in Germany? Is that legal over there? It has to be, right? I would say buy your dad some human pussy, because I think that might get the juices flowing. He might remember what it's like to actually have the touch of a woman instead of like falling in love with his fucking laptop.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta hope.

[A]

I think that's how we treat this crunch. But that's great because get him out of his system. Get him out of his shell. Different experiences, different continent. I love that idea. That's a great idea.

[B]

Well, let's hope it works. Spiel. Spiel in Essen.

[A]

In Essen.

[B]

You'll be. You'll be very happy.

[A]

Adobe ACROBAT Studio, your new foundation. Use PDF spaces to generate a presentation. Grab your docs, your permits, your moves AI levels of your pitch gets it in a group. Choose a template with your timeless cool. Come on now, let's flex those two draft design, deliver, make it sing. AI builds the deck so you can build that thing. Do that, do that, do that with Acrobat.

[B]

Learn [e-mail] do that with Acrobat. Well, the holidays have come and gone once again. But if you've forgotten to get that special someone in your life a gift. Well, Mint Mobile is extended their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless. So here's the idea. You get it now, you call it an early present for next year.

[A]

What do you have to lose?

[B]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch limited time 50% off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required $45 for three months, $90 for six month or $180 for 12 month plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month when network is busy. See terms.

[A]

Give us another one LD what great.

[B]

Life you got here. Helping people.

[A]

Exactly. Exactly.

[D]

Dude, now this. And guess I have a pretty mundane question but about my husband. We've been together for almost a decade. Married a couple years. Everything's great. We love each other.

[A]

Beautiful.

[D]

We share the same values. We share the same political values.

[A]

Really? Immigrants out, far left, progressive.

[D]

I don't even say Democrat because they suck.

[A]

But there we go.

[D]

Far left. You know, you get it. You guys are insane. However, my husband is very much identifies as blue collar. We're from the Boston area. He feels like a real Boston guy.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

And we grew up.

[A]

He's finding it hard not to be racist despite his political values. Something is kicking in.

[B]

The slowest rise towards will not let black people in our house.

[D]

90S 2000s where saying certain things were appropriate back in the house. So to be more specific, he basically. I can't get him to stop using the f slur. I'm not against gay people at all. Usually against cops.

[A]

Usually. Now what are you gonna do that cancels out now?

[B]

Now what are you gonna do? Stabby? Hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

This is a great philosophical quandary. Can you use a forbidden weapon against the worst enemy?

[B]

This is poetry.

[A]

This is awesome.

[D]

Yeah, usually towards shitty people. He uses the F word to describe them as being shitty. And I don't think I'm cool with this. Even if it's toward a cop. I just don't think you should use that word in that way.

[A]

But I do know what you mean. Of course.

[B]

But I'm ready to go. Permission granted.

[A]

Like, I think, I think he has.

[B]

To be like, he's from Boston.

[A]

He's from Boston.

[B]

Sounds like he was like a teen in the 90s. So it sounds like this guy.

[A]

Listen, I get it and believe me, I grew up in Baltimore in the 90s. I've had to change certainly certain patterns and behaviors and look, I'm not, I'm not. I also get where this guy's coming from. But it is the kind. Anyway, should we let her finish? Does she have more?

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Because it just perpetuates prejudice against queer people. And I am also afraid he's gonna slip up and say it in front of like a queer friend.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Or say it in front of a family member. Or he also works with a bunch of blue collar.

[A]

She lets it go right there with.

[B]

A bunch of these oh.

[D]

Caller kind of right wing guys. But he's gonna stay in front of them naturally and then they're gonna latch onto that and use it.

[A]

I don't think those guys need him.

[D]

You sort of keep up the same.

[B]

He's acting like he's the ringleader of this, of this like group of pipe fitters. Which is probably not true.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

What you may not understand is that this is, is sort of the thieves can't of that kind of world and that this is not excusing that. But there is a, there is a. There's coded language within all different parts of employment. And I have been to places where this kind of like extremely casual incendiary use of language is like daily constant non. So have you?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

So have you.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

So in some ways you were getting into a bit of a cultural collision between I don't know where he works, but like a group of construction workers who are all best friends on the job, some of which may even be gay and are buddies with one another. My opinion is that group of guys with themselves can literally talk over the they want like while they're on.

[A]

As long as it doesn't break containment.

[B]

Yeah. Literally.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And, and it's like the same way that a family may talk to one another or whatever. Now that, that is certainly a dangerous opinion and I recognize that. But, but that's where I come down on the work side of this. Her, she, she's completely right in saying that. I'm uncomfortable that at some point you are going to.

[A]

But see, that's where this turns right? Because I agree with you. It's like, look I think ultimately if like whatever people do, you know, I'm not going to police the private goings on of like, of whatever, like within a family or within even a friend.

[B]

Group or within a culture.

[A]

Within a culture. Like, as long again, it's the classic, like, if you're not harming anybody else, it doesn't fucking matter to me. Right, yeah. And that is, that is where. And look, people will say the use of the language is harming enough people. I'm like, look, as long as it. Like I said, if it doesn't break containment, I don't. Like, ultimately, I don't give a fuck. Because what matters is how people can have shitty beliefs. And as long as they're not harming other people. That's how you run a society, in my opinion.

[B]

Right, that's. That's sort of the definition of freedom.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like you could. I'm not going to tell you how to think. As long as you treat everyone fairly, it doesn't matter.

[B]

Right now. This is a romantic relationship. They've been married for a decade.

[A]

But this is different.

[B]

Yeah, it's a marriage.

[A]

You are married. Well, they've been together for a decade. They've been married for a couple years.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

She's thinking about kids. Like, it's very. You are well within your rights to.

[B]

Be like, to define the culture of your home.

[A]

You gotta stop this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, you want to talk like that and you want to talk like that in at work. Like you want to talk the way around, not around me. I don't like that either. But we can't have this at home.

[B]

Is that the compromise? Because I wonder. Because if she presents him with a straight up, never ever talk this way, then of course, no matter what she was saying, he's got his backup.

[A]

Well, I also think net ultimatums and.

[B]

Never evers is ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But it is the cop. You, you, our caller should have the conversation where it's like, look. And here is the actual thing. Because, look, I don't use that word.

[B]

Unless it's just you and me.

[A]

Unless it's. Unless it's something really annoying. But it's like, definitely like, that's an example of like the shit the way I used to talk when I was a teenager. Of course there's a lot of. Because here's the other thing, though. If this guy does have these beliefs, you're saying it is actually a political statement to not use that word anymore? Because there is. Because something has turned where people seem. It seems like A, like a group is, is treating the use of slurs as, as, like a, as a fundamental. Right. Like the least funny, most annoying guys who are like, you know what I mean? Like, like, like this whole thing where.

[B]

It'S like these guys, they're trying to shortcut to again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And it's like you celebrating it makes it not fun. Like, it's really the kind of thing where it's like, you guys are so stupid that you don't understand. The only reason that's kind of. I, I, I, I don't want to do like my act, because I do, I do have a joke about this, but it's like they don't get that. It's like you, you can't, you can't like things that are not allowed. Saying them is only fun when they're not allowed.

[B]

The taboo.

[A]

The taboo is the whole point.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

You start saying, saying my culture is being hateful for the sake of it. And by the way, I'm not saying that's, that's the case here, right. That's completely different. But I think like, being a guy who's cool with these types of people, which is kind of how I identify too, right? This, that is who I am. I am friends with guys who have horrific personal beliefs sometimes, right? I go back to Baltimore, I see the fucking guys I grew up with. I go, you know, you talk to blue collar guys. You know what I mean? Podcasters.

[B]

Your dad, maybe.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, right?

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Yeah. My dad's friends.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I'm cool with them. But it's like I have, when they have said fucked up, like I actually have in the soccer, at the soccer, watching soccer, some Greek kid was dropping.

[B]

N bombs inside the Greek club.

[A]

Stop. Like, I've been the guy who's been like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? What is this ridiculous, like, and he was trying to be like, he was doing this outdated thing. He was younger than everybody. I think he was trying to show, like, I'm racist, like the old guys, right?

[B]

He tried to create an idea identity for himself in the group by being that guy.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And it's like, but also it's like, look, if at the end, at the end of the day, if your, your husband has to decide the kind of guy he wants to be, and it's like, it is annoying to come up with to change your speech habits, but it's like annoying versus hateful to a whole fucking group of people. And especially in this moment where just not being one of Those guys, the bar is insanely low. Not saying a slur makes you a good guy if you're blue collar. Like, that's what I would say at this point.

[B]

And I think that the big. Because this is going to be a negotiation. You married this person, you love him, and so you're not. Like, in some ways, I think you know the answer here, which is that if you're going to present your husband with an opportunity to change, it needs to come with a warm hand. And that should be. I understand that. And this can sound ridiculous, that culturally, as a Bostonian, at your work, this is important to you, and it's a way that you can play with taboo and because taboos, they're on the other side of things that are sacred.

[A]

And the other thing is, I will admit, like, a cop getting called, that would affect him.

[B]

And it's also hilarious.

[A]

Yeah, it is very funny.

[B]

And mean. Like, there's. There's all these things in it that. That you just need to be. There's a division in. In the way that. That your husband views the world and you view the world, and so offer this with a warm hand and say. And just. What you can say is when you say it, it makes you seem small to me. And I know you want to seem big to me because I love you so much. And I know that the way I view you matters to you. And so I'm letting you know a secret. For my sexual interest in you. For my. For thinking of you as the big man in this house. For being the person that I love to support and brag about. Every time you use that word around me, it scrambles me up and it messes with my image of you. But I'm not gonna say, don't use that word at work or with your friends, because that may be the way you bond with your friends. And I love that you have friends.

[A]

You know what it is? For real? It's using sith lightning. That's what it is.

[B]

Right? Right.

[A]

This is effective, and it is against the right people. It's like, you can do damage, but.

[B]

It'S going to give you wrinkles. It's going to give you wrinkles.

[A]

You're going to be uglier. And it's like robotic hands.

[B]

Don't be.

[A]

Yeah, don't be. Don't use sith lightning, dude. Just train with the. You can make fun of cops so many other ways. Accuse them of beating their wives, which they probably do. You know what I mean? Like, do. There's so much other shit you could get for Cops where it's like, don't use the Sith lightning. That's ultimately where I. I end up.

[B]

On it, if you want.

[A]

It was fun to. When you were younger and you were just learning the force.

[B]

It was blasting everybody. Yeah, of course I'm a Jedi. Oh, my God.

[A]

But now you. Let's master the fucking. You know what I mean? I don't know.

[B]

Hey, look, that's it. It binds us. It penetrates us.

[A]

I've reached my knowledge of Star wars.

[B]

There, but yes, I could go all day if you want to see a creative treatise on this very question. Literally, Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie is about this question. We go back in time and see the movie the Hangover, and you get to see Bradley Cooper. Literally, that is going through this.

[A]

That is a great joke in the movie.

[B]

And so you and your husband can.

[A]

Go see this movie.

[B]

Literally this moment. Actually it can be the jumping off before this conversation afterwards. You don't even need to tell him.

[A]

Totally let it. Let it come naturally. And it's also like, yeah, dude, at the end of the day, things change. The thumb things you just can't say anymore. And it's like you could say 4 million other things.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

There's so many other ways to be hurtful. Just. It's also a matter of creativity. It's like be hurtful towards the people you want to hurt, not the. You know, the. Like, there could be collateral.

[B]

The blast radius.

[A]

Exactly. Let's get the black. Let's. Let's. Let's factor it. Let's tighten up the blast radius. Do a couple more here.

[C]

LD Hi, Stav. Eldest esteemed guests. I tried to talk earlier, but I talked for way too long. So I'm in college right now. For context. I haven't worked a real job since like high school. It's just a little hard to find work in my area. So because of that as a sort of side hustle turned main hustle, now I've become an only fans porn editor. It started a couple months back because I knew a couple girls that. That.

[A]

That's awesome.

[C]

Had pages and I have a background in video editing and Premiere and all that. That's awesome content. I was like, sure, dude. And now, you know, I've been doing that for a while. It's getting to where they introduced me to some of their friends app pages. I. I'm also involved pretty deeply in my local, like, punk and rape scene. So I meet a lot of girls that do that on the side.

[A]

Awesome.

[C]

And be Careful. It's a pretty good gig. They pay me either up front or a percentage of their cuts. I get to look at boobs for work. Not too bad. Some of the that they do is like weird, like weirder than, you know, I, I, I, I like. But you know, it's whatever.

[A]

Hey, you're at the job.

[C]

My issue that's come with that now is is I've been seeing a girl for a little bit now who happens to be pretty religious. And I'm religious. I don't have any issue with that. There's just some things that we don't see eye to eye on.

[A]

This is awesome.

[C]

Whenever we talk about work at dinner, I start to sweat a bit. I've just been saying that I just do freelance video work and I certainly did that. But I don't know, do you? I don't really know what to do because I really like this girl and I do see a future of us together. But, but I don't know if I should just be honest and up front now that, you know, what I do is pretty taboo or should I not? Because I don't really. I also don't see myself doing this forever, you know, But I don't know because I, I know, I know. How many guys wouldn't date an only fans model? So I can only assume, you know, women probably wouldn't be too happy if they found out that I, you know.

[B]

You're talking about the men who together.

[C]

Clips of women fixing themselves. But I don't know, what do you think I should do here? Stuff.

[B]

But we don't know her opinion. Opinion, true. We don't know her opinion. I think God has sent this woman to you as a test. And unfortunately you are going to. You need to tell the truth because like, and just see what happens. Yeah, this is, this is tough. He's a pornographer.

[A]

He is important. He's literally a pornographer.

[B]

Pornographer.

[A]

It is very funny because we do have the male version of being a stripper. Is now like editing.

[B]

Oh, no, no, Responding. Writing. Yeah. Be the person who writes their answers. I have a friend who basically does that for a living in Columbia.

[A]

That's so funny. Yeah, he just, he sexts back. Guys.

[B]

He left a long time ago. To be honest, I don't know what is up. Last time I saw him, he literally pulled out a police badge and said, I bought this. And he's like, he's a literal member of the police in Medellin. And I was like, oh, is a.

[A]

Tough place to disappear.

[B]

Yeah, he Left about a decade ago. And it seems to be doing great.

[A]

I mean, it seems good, but it just. It's one. It's like. It's not as bad as saying, I'm moving to Thailand, but.

[B]

Yeah, no, no, no, it's exactly. Literally, it is just geographically closer, functional, identical. My opinion here is pretty. It's going to be pretty strict. I think you and I are gonna have a different opinion, which is great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's that I think that if the question is, do you feel like, guilty or do you feel like what you're doing is in any way wrong? Because if you don't, then you. Unless you're trying to manipulate this girl, which you probably don't want to admit to. Right. Unless you're really trying to manipulate her into thinking that you're somebody you're not, you should have absolutely no. No qualms about telling her the truth and seeing where that goes. But I think the very nature of you calling in and being like, what do I do? Speaks to a kind of, how do I get out? How do I get everything I want? And. And that already, that's telling me you're on the wrong. You're thinking about this the wrong way because what. What's your goal to. To can argue and convince this girl that she shouldn't be offended. Like, that may be the case and maybe she shouldn't be. But if those are her feelings, then you need to wrestle with that with her. It's so early in this relationship.

[A]

Yeah. How long did he say it was, Elders?

[B]

A couple dates, he said, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, but he said, but I really like her. It's tough. It's why I say this is a test from God. It's like, like God's got a sense of humor about this kind of. You made a wish on a monkey paw. Oh my God, I want to have a job where I watch porno all day. And he granted it.

[A]

But.

[B]

But now the woman that you're going to marry is going to be a strict anti pornography. Like.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, this is. I do think, first of all, it is way too early. That is my. My number one thing is, like, what are we even talking about here? You do do freelance video. You do literally do freelance video.

[B]

It's not technically a lie if you.

[A]

If you get more into it, like, you can say, like, he basically know. It's not even about. About this girl necessarily. In my opinion. It's about the fact that he's just not comfortable saying what his job is.

[B]

To be his identity of course.

[A]

In general.

[B]

Right. And that should. That should tell you.

[A]

And that's fair. That's fair. And my. My advice would probably be like, re. Admit to who you are. And, and even him saying, like, I'm not gonna do this forever.

[B]

It's like this whole call reeked of guilt.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Even as he tries to impress you by saying, oh, my job's great. I get a lot of money. Get to look at boobs all day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That sounds like, like the kind of thing that you say when you're masking. Right.

[A]

It's like awesome.

[B]

It's awesome. I look at boobs all day. It's like, well, wait a minute, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's more to this job than that, my friend.

[A]

Yeah. It's like Milhouse's dad being like, I sleep. I got a race car bed.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I sleep in a big bed with my wife, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Him trying to talk up his divorced life. There is a little bit of that. But I also think it's possible that. And he also said, I don't plan on doing this forever, which is classic. Like, sex worker, drug dealer. Like, you know what I mean? Like, people who are like, I'm just gonna do this for a little bit and then I'm out. You know, criminals in general. Not that you should. Which, by the way, I don't think you should feel that way. I think you have to. You have to make a decision, which is like, how much money does this actually make? You're saying you don't want to do it for whatever. If that's the case, make a plan.

[B]

Yeah, that's exactly right.

[A]

Like, I make X amount of money.

[B]

Each month and I learned these number of skills that I can apply to other things because of it. Yeah.

[A]

How. How big a nest egg do I need? How long is that going to take me? And actually have an on paper plan to. When you want to be out of it. And you can even share that with this person if it gets serious enough. You could say, look, I do freelance video work. Most of my stuff, most my stuff is with pornography.

[B]

And I want to talk to you about that.

[A]

Yeah. And I want to just be upfront about it. It's like, it pays really well. I need to do it for, you know, I'm trying to save for this, this, and this. But you need to. You need to decide what's important to.

[B]

You and how you actually feel about this as your identity, because you're already masking it in all these ways. Even in a phone call where you're trying to sound cool about it.

[A]

Yeah. And I don't think it's. By the way, in terms. No, judge, I will say editing is a, like, in terms of all the creative stuff, editing pays pretty well.

[B]

It's an unbelievably employable skill. What I say to film students is if you want a job, literally graduating out of, graduating out of film school, getting paid like extremely well, salary editing, everybody needs editors, podcasters, everybody needs editors.

[A]

Yeah, we hire. We have like fucking three or four editors.

[B]

It's probably one of the most employable jobs, especially if you can do it quickly, which I imagine for only fans, modern models, you need to be putting that stuff out extremely fast. Who knows, maybe this is the beginning of the rest of your life.

[A]

I would say if, like my advice to you, where it's like, you don't have to have the, the come to Jesus moment. Matt's talking.

[B]

So to speak. So to speak. Right.

[A]

Like, I think you could. I would say, though, you are getting clearly comfortable in this niche. So I would say if you really want to be considered a freelance video guy, find other stuff to do, which you could, you know, I mean, mix it up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then start a transition out. And you might find that it isn't even that much more lucrative to be doing only fans. And I mean, I know how much we pay our editors. They make a lot. I mean, of course, good amount of money. And, and, and so I think you need to actually be a little more proactive. I think if anything, you're kind of falling into this, which by the way, I don't think is bad. Bad if you do the math and you're like, this pays double.

[B]

Yeah. What are you gonna do?

[A]

Who gives a. Yeah, you gotta tell church girl. You have to decide. And also, it's been two dates. Be realistic here about, you know, changing your entire life over something that you don't even know.

[B]

Yeah. You don't want to be one of those clowns either who's like, I gotta now change my whole identity because this girl I feel judged by. You will feel judged by every woman you meet for the rest of your life from wherever she's coming from. You trust me, you're gonna change everything for this girl. And your next girlfriend's going to be like a, a, a crack smoking stripper. And you're gonna be like, wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on.

[A]

Only do soft corn.

[B]

Yeah. What you doing? So just be careful. The, the, the eye of, of a woman is going to make you feel small in all Kinds of ways.

[A]

And this is just one I. Yep, yep. So, yeah, dude, dude. Make some real plans.

[B]

Yeah. Apply as an editor to the Stavi show. I think is the.

[A]

She. Send us your real. And don't be afraid to really be thorough with it. Yeah.

[B]

20 minute, 20 minute CV.

[A]

Let's do another one. And then I feel like you got to go pretty soon. You got stuff to do.

[B]

What time is it?

[A]

Yeah, one more.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Hell yeah. Yeah, do a fun one.

[A]

Or let's. Yeah, let's do a fun one. Take it. Yeah.

[B]

Everything's been so heavy. Like, we've been giving people, like, change your life today advice. Is it normally like. Like this?

[A]

It's a mix. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, it's like this.

[B]

Do people ever call back after we.

[A]

Do live calls on the Patreon? That's really fun.

[B]

Amazing. That'd be amazing.

[A]

Anytime you want to do a live call, you let me know.

[B]

Well, next time I'm in New York, we'll get. We'll get more of these bagels. That would be the ultimate call in you and I with a table full of food.

[A]

Yeah, that a mukbang slash.

[B]

And people are just calling in, asking us for life advice. Killing ourselves.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. Hopefully we'll have the new. We'll have the new studio by then.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we'll. We'll do a big one when. When the Bourdain movie comes up.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that'll be fun. All right, players, want to go out on here? LD.

[B]

Let's go out on a note of hope here.

[C]

Hey, stop. I heard that you're looking for calls that aren't actually problems, but people who have been helped by advice from the past. I want to say that lady who called in asking about, you know, going on at Zempic and that she should lie about it or what have you. Now, I've been overweight most of my adult life, and just your advice to her was like, kind of the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. So to speak gave me the confidence to talk my doctor about going on a GLP1 inhibitor. I've lost, like, 30 pounds for that.

[B]

That's. That's amazing.

[A]

30 pounds.

[B]

You inspired this guy to say it and finally do a zic, and he lost 30 pounds since that.

[A]

Hell yeah, dude. And I want to say to everyone out there, all our fat listeners, of.

[B]

Which I would say 70%, 90% by body weight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Give it up, man. What's this pride that you think you're too good for the shot.

[B]

Don't, don't. Don't think that it isn't just a kind of psychological barrier. People have trouble talking to doctors. People have trouble asking permission. Like, I think that's what this guy's saying.

[A]

I know. And I'm saying, this is good. And what I'm saying to you is. And look, I even felt it for a second too, where I was like, no, I'll do it natural. It's like, look, you're fat as shit. You're in a society where there's treats everywhere. You probably have the kind of brain that does not handle that well. There is a fucking medicine that stops some of it. And by the way, the medicine itself does not guarantee success. I myself have been strong. There have been months where it's a fucking stalemate between me and the medicine. I'm holding it at bay, right? Look at our good pal. Not to throw him under the bus. You know, I won't say any names, but there's other pod, there's other podcasters that have beat the drugs. So don't think that this other thing where you just take the fucking drug and immediately everything changes. It's possible to, like, it still is work, but it will make it a little easier. Don't be too proud. And at the end of the day, it's not even about how you look, because look at the. It's. It's about living longer. We're all pieces of shit. The older we get, the more we look like shit. Don't think you're gonna get sexy overnight. Let's focus on living. And then you can get hotter if you want to later on, whatever. But don't have this pride. Just fucking take a medicine. You wouldn't be. You wouldn't be like. If you had a fucking migraine. You wouldn't be like, I'm going to beat this. Naturally, it's like, you're just fat. Medically, a lot of you motherfuckers, you couldn't help it. I know I can't help it. On some level, I'm addicted to this shit. And if there was Food Anonymous, I know there's Overeaters Anonymous, but that's bullshit. If there was, like a thing where I could just give up eating forever, I would do it. It. It's just unfortunately my vice. I have to do a couple times a day to stay alive. So do the fuck. Shout out to this guy Eldis. Give us a nice fucking. Give us the applause for our friend here. And yes, get out There and improve yourselves in many ways, pharmaceutically and otherwise. That's. That's. I guess that's our final note. Go and whatever you. No matter how fat you are, if you're fat, if you're skinny, go see Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie in theaters right now.

[B]

Maybe you gotta buy two seats.

[A]

Maybe they still not yet done Southwest style seating in theaters. Get in there, squeeze in there. Get your fucking love handles in a. Have another guy's elbows and your love handles. God. I went to see. I went to see fucking Uncut Gems opening night, you know, Brutal. It was like every seat's full there. I went with the row. I went with a girl. Yeah. In the middle of it. And I'm like, wait, the one seat that was empty was next to me. I'm fucking celebrating rating. And then just like an old woman who didn't. It didn't feel like she even knew about the move. And then she just comes in. Fat old lady who I don't even know. She didn't even seem to want to be there for the movie. She, like, she was taking shelter. Like, she didn't look homeless, but she had a homeless vibe. Oh, yeah, of course. You know what I mean? Or maybe she's just an insane old. I mean, I'm sure New York does have old people that just watch movies and do, you know, do culture, whatever.

[B]

Cinephilia.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. She sat next to me, completely ruined it. And I had her elbows in my fat all the whole movie. Great movie, though. Yeah.

[B]

You know, you. So you saw it in 4D? Yeah. You had the D box experience, all of that. It was a metaphor.

[A]

Her elbows were a metaphor for what was going on in Howie's life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But anyway, go see the movie, folks. And yeah, that's. That's about it. Go. Come see us on tour. The tour is kicking off right now. Where. Where are we about to be, elders? Iowa. Iowa.

[B]

Oh, on the 16th, idiot.

[A]

When do you think I thought you.

[B]

Said you were gonna call him? Des Moines.

[A]

Des Moines?

[B]

St. Louis.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cincinnati, Columbus, Columbus, Prior Lake, Minnesota.

[A]

That's sold out.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Dumbass. Radio City. Let's not forget the big one is Radio City. That's almost sold out. I'll be honest with you. Get your tickets now. We have less than. I think less than 10% of tickets left for Radio City City. So get those and. Yeah, we will talk to you guys next time. Bye. Bye.

[B]

Thank you. Ever walk past a place for rent and wish you could just take a peek inside, maybe even explore the layout. Envision the natural light streaming through the window, or plan where your vinyl record collection would go. At apartments.com you can with tools like their 3D virtual tours, you can see the exact unit you could be living in. Really envision yourself in your new home with apartments.com, the place to find a place.

[A]

We heard you. Nine years of bring back the snack wrap and you've won. But maybe you should have asked for more. Say hello to the hot panty Snack Wrap wrapper Crap.

[B]

Now you've really won.

[A]

Go to McDonald's and get it while you can.