Stavvy's World #171: Ms. Pat
Date: March 9, 2026
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Ms. Pat
Episode Overview
This episode of Stavvy’s World features comedian Ms. Pat, bringing her trademark brash, hilarious, and unfiltered takes to a rollicking conversation with Stavros. The show kicks off with irreverent, deeply honest banter about identity, body image, sexuality, and race, then segues into listener call-ins where both hosts dispense life advice, no-holds-barred. Ms. Pat’s wild stories—about making it out of poverty, motherhood, and her rise in comedy—are as uproarious as they are moving, and her chemistry with Stav sets the stage for some truly memorable laughs and real talk.
(Main content: 00:47–93:22)
Key Discussion Points & Highlights
1. Cultural Identity & Humor
[00:47–04:00]
- Opener features playful cultural ribbing:
- Ms. Pat mistakes Greek music for Mexican:
- Ms. Pat: “I didn’t know the music came with olive oil.”
- Stavros: “We’re kind of like the sour cream and onion of white people.” (01:22)
- Ms. Pat teases Stavros about being “just a white man,” but pivots to his Greek heritage.
- Extended riff on appearance:
- Ms. Pat: “You look like something that go on top of a wedding cake.” (02:44)
- Later: “You give me cake topper energy.” (03:21)
- Ms. Pat mistakes Greek music for Mexican:
2. Body Image, “Small Dick” Discourse, and Fat Jokes
[03:25–15:31]
-
Stavros and Ms. Pat engage in raw, self-deprecating humor about body parts:
- Ms. Pat suggests Stavros looks like “the groom in a lesbian wedding” and cracks several “small dick” jokes, with Stavros going along in stride.
- Notable, rapid-fire quotes:
- Ms. Pat: “You look like you piss on your nuts.” (05:05)
- Ms. Pat: “God has given this wedding topper a small dick.” (06:29)
- On “solutions”: “Put a shoestring on your dick and tie it onto the door and just keep slamming the door.” (07:07)
- Stavros: “My dick cannot withstand two bellies.” (08:48)
- Ms. Pat: “This is why white men is mad in America… It was not us, it was God. Little dick lives matter.” (09:44)
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The cultural differences in humor and experience:
- Ms. Pat: “That don’t happen in my culture. No, I have never slept with a white man once.” (11:49)
- Ms. Pat riffs on New Balance sneakers as “orthopedic white people shoes.” (10:46)
3. Ms. Pat’s Career—TV, Cooking Shows, & Touring
[15:42–18:11]
- Ms. Pat highlights her current projects:
- "The Ms. Pat Show" on Amazon/BET+ (season five).
- Court show: "Ms. Pat Settles It" on BET.
- New YouTube cooking show: "Whisking It All with Ms. Pat"—where she learns to cook new dishes, e.g., pico de gallo and spatchcock chicken. (16:54)
- Stavros floats coming to cook Greek food; Ms. Pat jokes: “Ain’t nobody gonna screw you, but we’re gonna make some skewers.” (17:39)
Call-In Advice Segment
[47:01–92:26]
Stavros and Ms. Pat tackle listener dilemmas with humor, honesty, and roast-level candor.
1. Long-distance with Young Girlfriend Starting College
[47:01–49:27]
- 30-year-old caller is dating a 22-year-old heading to university, worried she'll cheat.
- Ms. Pat’s advice:
- “One thing we know about white girls, they wild. In the first 25 years, they suck over a thousand dicks.” (48:11)
- “Just break it off now.”
- Stavros: “She’ll be getting her doctorate at that university…in dick.” (50:10)
- Ms. Pat’s advice:
2. Is OnlyFans Cheating? (Sexless Marriage)
[50:23–53:29]
- Married man, no sex for a year, spends $60–$70/month on OnlyFans; wife sees it as cheating and wants divorce.
- Ms. Pat: “If somebody hasn’t fucked you in a year…and she want a divorce? Sir, your wife is a bitch and she’s cheating on you.” (52:32)
- “What you did was not cheating. What you did was trying to keep your nuts from exploding.”
- “Get rid of that white bitch and get a black bitch. Cause we want to be pulling potholes.”
- Stavros: “It’s insane to say OnlyFans is cheating, particularly when you don’t like…” (53:29)
3. Taxidermy Dilemma: Stuffed Dog as Coffee Table
[54:47–58:06]
- Caller’s wife wants to stuff their epileptic dog and turn it into a coffee table.
- Ms. Pat: “I would have somebody break in your house and steal the dog.” (56:46)
- “Tell your wife to get a life and get another dog. … They all look alike.”
- On entering a house with a dog table: “Immediately say we left something in the car.” (58:26)
4. Tomato Dinner Party Drama (ED Friend)
[59:21–67:13]
- Caller anxious about serving a tomato dish a picky/recovering-eating-disorder friend dislikes.
- Ms. Pat: “Why you inviting somebody to your house who’s gonna throw up your food?” (61:25)
- “Get friends that don’t vomit.” (67:13)
- Stavros: “No one should be mad about the food at a dinner party—overdo it.”
5. The “Stinky Pussy” Problem
[67:28–71:58]
- Man wants to tactfully tell casual partner her vagina smells bad.
- Ms. Pat: “Take her to the doctor. The doctor fixes broken pussies. … If you that anxious, buy you a pussy off Amazon.” (68:41)
- “Your face gonna break out… You eat that if you want, you gonna look like Humpty Dumpty.” (69:33)
- Suggests baking soda & vinegar: “Like a science experiment.”
- “I know what my pussy smell like after 48 hours…” (70:52)
6. Polyamorous Drama — Twisted Tea Segment
[72:57–82:54]
- Listener distressed boyfriend is still close to his ex-wife (now with a woman); frequent 1-on-1 hangouts.
- Both hosts: Relationship is “twisted,” but there’s a possible wholesome path.
- Stavros: “You’re entitled to your feelings. … He’s not wrong, but he’s weird. You’re not wrong, but you could be a little jealous.”
7. Poly-lesbian Relationship Dilemmas
[84:34–88:52]
- Caller’s girlfriend wants her to see other women for her own pleasure.
- Ms. Pat: “Why two bitches who bump vagina wanna share anything? … If your wife want to see you get freaked out by somebody, y’all nasty.” (86:22)
- “When you open your relationship, you get STDs.”
- General advice: “If you don’t want to be in an open relationship, don’t do it.”
8. Dating a “Short King”
[89:18–92:26]
- Woman loves her short boyfriend, but his insecurity shows.
- Ms. Pat: “Buy your short king some heels. Or some stilts… Or use him for a tampon.” (91:17)
- Stavros: “If his short insecurity bleeds into the relationship, that’s a problem.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
Roasting & Rapport:
- Ms. Pat’s relentless comedic roasts drive home much of the humor, always grounded in cultural observations and experience.
- On body image and race:
- “This is exactly why white men is mad in America… Little dick lives matter.” (09:44)
- On sexuality & gender:
- “You just stick it in our navels.” (09:17)
- “They just want to see other bitches eat you out, just come on back to the dick.” (86:19)
- On culinary diplomacy:
- “Get friends that don’t vomit.” (67:13)
Personal Vulnerability & Resilience:
- Ms. Pat recounts tough early life stories—teen pregnancy, selling crack, raising multiple children and nieces—always pairing gravity with punchlines:
- “I’ve basically done three different shifts [of motherhood]. And I’m done.” (39:34-39:42)
- “I want to travel. I want to do comedy and just travel.” (40:17)
Cultural Commentary:
- Ms. Pat on Trump and the state of America:
- “We are literally watching white people steal America again.” (43:16)
- “Find out who leaked your taxes, Mr. President, and sue them. But don’t take my money.” (43:45)
- On the “king/queen” trend:
- “Black people, they… They done stole ‘king’ and ‘queen’.” (89:55)
Relationship Wisdom:
- The show’s tone consistently pairs savage honesty with genuine care:
- “If you don’t want to be in an open relationship, don’t do it.” (88:03)
- “If you throw up my food, I’m gonna slap the shit out you. Food is too high for a bitch to even have a disorder.” (64:42)
Timestamps for Major Segments
- Intro & Banter: 00:47–15:42
- Ms. Pat’s TV & Cooking Shows: 15:42–18:11
- Call-in Problems and Advice: 47:01–92:26
- Long-Distance College Girlfriend: 47:01
- OnlyFans Cheating Dilemma: 50:23
- Stuffed Dog Table: 54:47
- Tomato Dinner Party: 59:21
- Stinky Pussy/Communicating Hygiene: 67:28
- Twisted Tea (“Poly Ex-Wife”) Segment: 72:57
- Poly-Lesbian Relationship: 84:34
- Dating a Short King: 89:18
- Ms. Pat plugs and closing: 92:26–92:59
Episode Tone & Style
- Raw, candid, and fearless: Nothing is off-limits—sex, race, money, family, or trauma. Every topic is up for brutal honesty and laughter.
- Supportive, not mean-spirited: Even the harshest barbs are delivered with warmth, and advice often ends with “If you don’t want to, don’t!” or “You deserve better.”
Closing & Plugs
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Ms. Pat reminds everyone to catch her shows on Amazon and BET+, watch “Whisking It All with Ms. Pat” on YouTube, and check her tour dates at misspatcompany.com.
-
Closing advice for the “short king” caller: “Pick up your man, put him on the countertop in the kitchen, and suck his penis.” (92:15)
-
Stavros: “Ms. Pat is so funny. You guys are going to love her. Thanks for doing the show!” (92:44)
If you missed this one, you missed:
- The best, roughest “small dick” riffing in podcast history,
- Ms. Pat’s epic stories from crack dealing to homemaking,
- Real, uproarious relationship advice,
- And a Greek/Black cultural summit on the full experience of being alive in 2026.