#173 - David Sims and Griffin Newman

Summary

Stavvy’s World #173 - With David Sims & Griffin Newman

Date: March 23, 2026

Guests: David Sims, Griffin Newman (from "Blank Check with Griffin and David")
Host: Stavros Halkias

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Episode Overview

This episode is a classic Stamvy hangout packed with irreverent movie talk, personal stories, generational debates about Batman, lots of laughter about fat guys on sitcoms, and a healthy amount of listener call-in advice. Guests David Sims and Griffin Newman of the "Blank Check" podcast join Stavros to dig into how they all approach pop culture obsessiveness, the dynamics of movie criticism, family quirks, and nostalgia—plus what happens when you discover rimjobs in your twenties.

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Main Themes

• The role of pop culture—especially movies and podcasts—in surviving tough times and shaping identity
• Nostalgia for formative movie and TV obsessions, including Batman, action figures, and sitcoms
• The evolution of superhero movies and a longing for less "serious" blockbusters
• Quirky personal anecdotes, from bad action figures to running into Leonardo DiCaprio’s parents in LA
• Candid, comedic relationship and life advice via listener calls
• An affectionate but real talk about fat guys in media and the aspirational/realistic divide

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Key Discussion Points

Movie Therapy, Reboot Routines & The Comfort of Podcasts

(01:20–07:46)

• Stavros describes using movies and podcasts to cope with dark periods in his life, citing “reboot” movies like Creed and Batman Begins as personal rituals for change:
  • “...when I’m ready to really get my life in order... I’m watching Creed every day and getting fuckin’ jacked, you know...” (04:02, Stavros)
• Griffin and David relate, discussing the urge to have continuous audio just to avoid being alone with one’s thoughts.

Obsessive Fandom: Action Figures, Fast Food Tie-Ins, and Nostalgia

(10:07–15:51)

• Deep dive into action figure collecting, the disappointing sales history of obscure Simpsons toys (“Brad Goodman”) and the heartbreak of tie-in toys (Small Soldiers, Batman Forever cups).
• Griffin nerds out on behind-the-scenes quirks in the toy industry:
  • “Jackie Mason pulled out at the last second because he thought it was offensive to Judaism to make a Rabbi action figure with a plastic Torah” (12:38, Eldis)
• The group riff on the “nerd” vs. “cool” host dynamic of Blank Check, and the fusion of dorky and normal childhoods.

Batman Forever: From Schumacher to Super-Serious

(15:23–17:32)

• Wide-ranging Batman talk celebrates Schumacher’s over-the-top, campy movies:
  • “Just made by an insane gay guy... the nipple suits... It’s awesome.” (15:23, Stavros)
• Lamentations about the loss of “dumb” Batman movies and the churn of superhero content:
  • “Now they’re boiling the bones. They boiled them eight times...” (16:05, Stavros)

Superhero Movies as Modern Westerns

(16:44–18:08)

• Stavros and Griffin discuss the genre’s fatigue, likening the superhero glut to the decline of Westerns.
• Debate over whether it’s time for the cycle to end, or at least seriously evolve.

Oscar Season, Movie Criticism, and Jesse Plemons Worship

(18:14–25:20)

• The group feigns hosting an Oscar recap despite not having seen the ceremony yet and jokingly celebrate “Begonia” sweeping awards.
• Raves for “The Secret Agent,” “Marty Supreme,” and other recent favorites.
• Conversation about how prestigious actors (Hawke, Plemons) steal or lose nominations, with a comedic rant about authenticity in casting short, balding, bisexual roles:
  • “Isn’t there a 5’3” bisexual who could actually play that role?” (19:11, Stavros)

DiCaprio’s Parents, Wild LA Movie Night Story

(34:04–39:05)

• Eldis details attending the one-battle premiere in LA, seated directly behind DiCaprio’s eccentric parents—brought to hilarious life with tales of their hippie habits and bathroom mishaps:
  • “...some woman took a giant shit in the stall and didn’t even flush... Then DiCaprio comes out: ‘My parents!’ ...It was DiCaprio’s mom.” (38:02, Morgan via Eldis)
• Group riff on Hollywood legacy, mystery, and badass parents.

The Serious Business of Fat Guys, Action Figures, and Family Traits

(44:03–56:41)

• Discussion of New York childhood archetypes and parental eccentricities.
• A moving reflection on “becoming a kind of guy,” and family oddities like aspiring sportscaster dads, gambling uncles, and the legacy of fun, fat guys.
• Notable quote: “At the end of the day, take it all away—I’m still a fat guy that’s fun to pretend to wrestle with.” (56:12, Stavros)

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Listener Call-In Advice Highlights

Call #1 – Cold Sores and Relationship Trust

(60:00–66:56)

• Caller suspects partner (husband) transmitted mouth cold sores to genitals.
• Panel’s advice:
  • If not suspicious of cheating, it’s just a tough draw—no one’s “at fault”, but open communication and a doctor’s visit advised.
  • “If you’re with someone who has herpes, and you’re still...just let her get herpes!” (66:25, Stavros, jokingly)
  • Reminder that herpes stigma is overblown.

Call #2 – My Wife (With Perky H Cups) Won’t Do Chores

(71:49–83:29)

• Male caller complains about his wife’s household laziness, then boasts about her “very perky H cups.”
• Stavros’ response:
  • “Perky H’s brother, that’s fuckin’, you gotta do a little extra Swifferin’ with those fat tits in your life!” (73:28, Stavros)
  • Funny inversion of sitcom gender roles; sitcom pitches fly.
• Bottom-line advice:
  • If mess drives you crazy, communicate before having kids—because life with kids guarantees more chaos, not less.
  • Division of labor is real and often uneven, but communication is the key.

Call #3 – Struggling with Australian Zoom Accents

(83:52–89:00)

• Caller can’t understand his boss’s boss on Australian Zoom calls, fears he’s being seen as incompetent.
• Panel’s advice:
  • Binge Australian media to “train your ear” (Wilfred, Peter Weir films, Crocodile Dundee, etc.).
  • Embrace the possibility of doing less work if you’re not getting fired.
  • Funny aside about Mel Gibson’s racially confused career arc.

Call #4 – White Girlfriend Won’t Eat My Ass

(96:36–110:57)

• Young man, after formative butt-eating experiences with older and non-white partners, can’t get his white girlfriend to reciprocate.
• Panel’s response:
  • Deracialize the theory—preferences are personal, not racial.
  • Approach it as a normal kink request, facilitate mutual sexual exploration and communication, don’t make it a racial or emotional high-stakes demand.
  • “If you want just the feeling of your ass played with, go with a gay guy... but you want a woman, you’re straight, go for it.” (103:36, Stavros)
  • Use humor, “Don’t say, ‘How about you eat my ass, honky?’” (107:16, Stavros)

Call #5 – How Soon Is Too Soon to Move In Together?

(113:22–123:06)

• Caller wants a guideline for moving in with a partner.
• Advice:
  • Ignore external pressures (rent, social expectation), go at your own relationship’s pace—generally at least a year, and only after you’d both feel “overdue” for it.
  • Rushing for logistical reasons (especially in big cities) can torpedo good relationships.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Movie Rituals:
  • "When I'm ready to really get my life in order... I'm watching Creed every day and getting fuckin' jacked..." (04:02, Stavros)
• On Batman villains & social messaging:
  • "Until [The Riddler] goes Columbine at MSG... they made eight things to be like, this is the bad guy, by the way, because he seems too awesome and reasonable..." (09:12, Stavros)
• On Family Dynamics:
  • "At the end of the day, take it all away—I'm still a fat guy that's fun to pretend to wrestle with." (56:12, Stavros)
• On Fat Sitcom Guys Getting Hot Wives:
  • "Those shows are bad for fat children... they're giving you way too high expectations." (70:30, Stavros)
• On Dividing Household Chores (for H-cup wives):
  • “You want her doin’ chores with those heavy-ass tits? If your tits are that big, she could take it easy on the chores.” (73:12, Stavros)
• On Asking for Butt Stuff:
  • “Don’t say, ‘How about you eat my ass, honky?’” (107:16, Stavros)
• On Moving In Together:
  • "I would just like build your relationship until it feels almost like you're overdue for it... it's always better to really feel like you're overdue." (119:10, Stavros)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction & Early Movie Ritual Talk: 01:04–07:46
• Action Figures, Simpsons Lore, Toy Marketing: 10:07–15:51
• Batman Movie Generations, Superhero Fatigue: 15:23–18:08
• Oscars, Plemons, Begonia Recap: 18:14–25:20
• One Battle & DiCaprio’s Parents Story: 34:04–39:05
• Sitcom Fat Guys, Family Oddballs: 44:03–56:41
• Caller #1 – Cold Sores, Herpes, and Trust: 60:00–66:56
• Caller #2 – Sloppy Wife vs. H Cups (Chores): 71:49–83:29
• Caller #3 – Australian Zoom Accents: 83:52–89:00
• Caller #4 – Rimjobs, Race, Communication: 96:36–110:57
• Caller #5 – When to Move In: 113:22–123:06
• Closing & Blank Check Plug: 123:05–126:36

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Final Thoughts

This episode is an amiable, winding conversation that showcases Stavvy’s World at its best: raunchy, honest, warm, and unapologetically movie-nerdy, with memorable moments of heartfelt personal sharing and hard laughs. Whether you’re looking for quirky tales from the underbelly of pop culture, or real talk about modern relationships, this episode delivers.

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For more:
Check out Blank Check with Griffin and David if you enjoy filmmaker-deep-dive movie podcasts.

Transcript

[Eldis]

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[Stav]

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[Griffin]

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[Eldis]

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[Griffin]

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[Stav]

but anyone can get the same Premium

[Griffin]

Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you

[Stav]

to Mint Mobile today.

[Griffin]

I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] welcome everybody to Stop His World.

[Stav]

904, 800 stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We are here with David and Griffin from Blank Check with Griffin and David. Truly my. Maybe my. Maybe my favorite podcast. What? Maybe my favorite podcast.

[Eldis]

That's actually a bad.

[Griffin]

You can just say favorite movie podcast. Even that would be nice.

[Eldis]

I would have tentatively accepted that I

[Stav]

used to not watch. I used to. It would just be sports and movies and now even sports has fallen away from my life because I just. Because I'm so busy. I can't keep.

[Griffin]

You're on the road.

[Stav]

Yeah. Like, it kind of feels like, it feels like I'm hearing somebody describe like their kids that I don't know when they're talking about like, like the last couple drafts, I've been completely out of it. You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm squarely like sort of like up until 21, 22, I was so hoopsed up.

[Griffin]

You knew everyone on every team. I went to a Nets game recently and they play children like their team is children.

[Stav]

I know the Nets just drafted, like. Yeah, it's all. They had like five draft picks.

[Griffin]

Yeah. And so I now. And I was like, I don't know any of these guys. They have a guy called Wolf and when he hits a three, they go like o.

[Stav]

That's fun. It's so funny.

[Griffin]

The Nets kind of fun.

[Stav]

Well, the Nets are Just trying anything to be.

[Griffin]

That was the fake.

[Stav]

There's such a fake team and I like it there. I like going. I'll take. Listen. If you got tickets to spare, I'll take them. But let's be honest with what's going on culturally, it's impossible.

[Griffin]

I went to see Wemby.

[Stav]

I was not there to see the Nets are there. If you. If. If you cannot get the Knicks ticket. When the traveling got like. I've seen Giannis play the nets a lot. 100, you know, like, I've seen when there was like, people I really wanted to see. That's what is there. And listen, stadiums or the arena's great. Food's great.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Stav]

It's a good experience.

[Griffin]

I can walk there from my house.

[Stav]

That's huge. That's huge. But yes, it's. I. I have. I do. There was definitely a. I will say this. There was a period in my life where I was going through a very dark moment. And here's. You know, I was thinking about this when I did your guys pod, where I was like, how did I start listening? I gave you. I couldn't remember and I kind of made something up, you know. But what happened was you did say

[Eldis]

it was a dark moment and then you made up a fake dark moment to fill in the gap.

[Stav]

But how I got to you because it was a dark boat. It was one of those moments where be with your thoughts. So you need an evergreen shatter.

[Griffin]

Idiots.

[Eldis]

I call those all the time moments. Yeah, for me, those are just called brick moments.

[Griffin]

That's like me where, like, do you ever do the thing where, like, I gotta walk down the stairs right now. I think I need to listen to a podcast while I do that, because

[Stav]

eight shirts, God forbid I think of something while I'm doing it goes all

[Griffin]

the way down to I have to wash my hands. I think I gotta queue up a podcast to do that.

[Stav]

It gets really pathetic. But you know what? It was. And this is actually even funnier. I was going through a dark moment and I have a few movies that I see as sort of like reboot myself when I want to. I'm actually saving myself.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

Because I haven't even earned. That's the highest level of reboot movie. When I.

[Griffin]

When.

[Stav]

I'm sorry, the first Creed. Not Creed. To Creed. The original. Original Creed. But that's like a. Because to me, that's like when I'm ready to really get my life in order. When I've cleared everything out. I'm watching Creed every day and getting Fuck, you know, like, I'm not. I have to go to pt.

[Eldis]

Find yourself?

[Stav]

Yes. Yeah. I have to be in PT so I can lift real weights. So you probably do steroids or something or like peptides. Like, I'm going to. I'm going to really whatever kind of crazy rich person like medicine to make you young. I'm doing it right. Whatever it is. I don't know yet.

[Eldis]

That one tech guy's son's blood, right?

[Stav]

Oh, yeah, that tech guy's.

[Griffin]

You're going to steal his son?

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

We all need.

[Stav]

I'm going to throw on Brian Johnson's teenage son's penis and I'm going to. And I'm going to put that blood right into my veins. I'm going to watch Creed.

[Eldis]

How incredible will it be if Brian Johnson's like, guys, you all made fun of me. But it turns out it is the cure for everything my son's dick blood is.

[Stav]

I guess he didn't explicitly take his son's dick blood, but he did measure his dick against his son's hard dick.

[Eldis]

Correct.

[Griffin]

It was like number of erections a day or whatever.

[Stav]

Right.

[Eldis]

I always jump to the same thing. I always describe it as a sun stick blood specifically.

[Stav]

But I'm doing any of that and I'm getting on. So then you get to watch Creed.

[Griffin]

You surely have seen Creed.

[Stav]

Of course, I love.

[Griffin]

But.

[Stav]

But you're.

[Griffin]

Now you're like.

[Stav]

But now I'm like. It's so powerful. It's like Heat is a celebratory movie that after we filmed my special in Austin, we watched. We did mushrooms, had a barbecue and coming down, we watched Heat because he's

[Griffin]

a little sad in the perfect way. It's good for good to come down

[Stav]

kind of is a nice melancholy kind of melancholy. Right.

[Eldis]

The tragic tale of Wayne Grove.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Griffin]

It's sad for you because Waingro doesn't make it. You're rooting for Wayne.

[Stav]

Grow the whole time. I really. I'm very haircut forward when it comes to who. When it comes to who I identify with in a movie. Yeah. But. And so a lesser. A lower level Creed reboot movie for me is Dark Knight or no, I'm sorry, The original Batman Begins. Batman Begins is my favorite.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

And I watched it as, like, I'm beginning like Batman. You know what I mean? It was like when I got so fucking fat. I was like. I moved to Baltimore for a year just to like walk around, eat turkey burgers and walk around. That was like my Rehab. Yeah. And so I spent, like. And then I got begonia, and I had to leave Baltimore because I was like, what? This is crazy, right? But I still spent, like, six months.

[Griffin]

You were like, I can't be a movie actor who lives in Baltimore. Like, you just.

[Stav]

It was like, I told my agents, I was like, I am not doing anything this year. Don't. Unless it's like. And I gave him a list that was hilarious, right? Like Scorsese. You know what I mean? Like. Like, literally, it was mainly, like, to. To say, stop emailing me with, you know, like, random. Offer the roles of, like, a fat guy who, like, you know, shits his pants in Act 2 or whatever to set up the hot people. You know what I mean?

[Eldis]

Make it all the way to Act 2, though. That's not.

[Stav]

That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true.

[Eldis]

If it's not the inciting incident.

[Stav]

But you.

[Eldis]

You literally were like, I'm not getting off this couch. I have five scenes in a movie directed by an Academy Award nominee. I was like, me in, like, a Plemons. Like, kind of someone who's the best

[Stav]

actor higher than what I was pitching them because I didn't even fathom this being something. So I got that, and it was obviously like, oh, well, this doesn't count. I have to do this.

[Eldis]

Right?

[Stav]

But there was, like. Like, six months where I was really fat as depressed. I mean, I weighed, like, 70 pounds more than I do now. All I could do was walk gingerly and honestly. And I watched Batman Begins, and I watched every movie. I literally loved that movie so much. And it was hitting just right that I searched every movie podcast that has ever covered Batman Begins.

[Caller]

Right?

[Stav]

And that's. That was actually how I got.

[Griffin]

It's a real. It's also a really good episode of ours.

[Stav]

It's a great.

[Eldis]

It was really punching.

[Griffin]

We're really.

[Stav]

Right.

[Griffin]

We're being silly. We talk about how Mark Boone Jr. Looks like he sleeps in a pizza.

[Eldis]

One of your best lines ever.

[Griffin]

Yeah, because he's just so greasy.

[Stav]

Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's a role I definitely could play. Oh, yeah, you can walk into that role.

[Griffin]

The guy who. Batman is like, you represent Gotham's corruption at the lowest level.

[Stav]

No, I see that guy and I'm like, come on, man. This. They. When. When they come up with this one for the Patinson B. They got it. They need a guy like this for Pattinson. Oh, yeah, let me be him.

[Griffin]

Pat needs to.

[Stav]

Right.

[Eldis]

Interact with more scum Patson one has a lot of like criminals, classy gangsters, has a lot of corrupt politicians. But the pizza cop is an important.

[Griffin]

I like that guy. That guy's in momento too. He's the guy who rents him multiple rooms in the motel. Cuz he's like, you don't a memory, bro. I just keep renting you new rooms.

[Stav]

That's awesome. I love. I will say about the Pats of Batman. I really loved it. Until they had to make it clear that the Riddler was bad. Cuz until he just does like,

[Griffin]

he's

[Stav]

kind of completely correct.

[Eldis]

That's what I like in that he's completely correct.

[Stav]

Where he's like, he's killing the right people.

[Griffin]

Yeah, all the politicians are bad. They're all corrupt. He's putting in the papers, basically.

[Stav]

And it's like. Until they get like the. Once he like, you know, goes like snipe. Goes Columbine at MSG on. On their fake AOC. Like they made like 8 things to be like, this is the bad guy, by the way. Because he seems too awesome and reasonable. And you almost get the sense that if Pattinson, when he's. When he. When Batman is talking to him. Yeah. If he's just like, love what you're doing, bro, but we gotta dial it back. Like there was a moment where the Riddler wants to be friends with him and he's like, listen, don't kill the Wayne family. I think I got a mole inside. We can deal with them. You know what I mean?

[Eldis]

Because the Riddler reads him and is like. I get the sense that you also hate Bruce Wayne. You got some weird. Anytime I bring up Bruce Wayne, you get kind of touchy. We can bond on this.

[Stav]

Of course.

[Griffin]

That movie annoys me because I should love it.

[Eldis]

90 of it.

[Griffin]

And I like, like it looks so good. It looks great in it.

[Eldis]

Even.

[Stav]

Like, I mean, Zoe Kravitz is out of control.

[Griffin]

She's a babe.

[Eldis]

Like the second hottest time she's ever played.

[Griffin]

It's got Colin Farrell doing it.

[Eldis]

She's also the voice of Catwoman in the Lego Batman movie.

[Stav]

Of course. I could see you as a guy who's jacked off to Legos. Griffin.

[Eldis]

Not yet.

[Stav]

You've definitely jacked off to an action figure. No way. You haven't.

[Eldis]

I didn't say anything. I didn't say hold up a finger.

[Griffin]

Which figures too much.

[Eldis]

You can read anything you want to. A finger. Hold it up.

[Griffin]

I'm sure it's going. But you have the psychiatri. The Child Simpsons action figure. You were.

[Eldis]

You were in the bathroom and Sim said, I got to see what the Simpsons figure is. And I said, that is historically one of the worst selling action figures of all time. I've been in this game long enough and charting things. That thing was a pox on store shelf. Course it was like five, six years.

[Stav]

Who would want the psycho? I got it because it was stupid. Because it's the psychiatrist. And if I'm being completely honest, I thought it was. What's his face?

[Eldis]

Marlee.

[Stav]

No, no, Lisa. The. That's not the.

[Eldis]

Oh, Lisa substitutes.

[Stav]

Yeah, I thought. I just like looking at it really quickly. I was like, oh, that must be him. And then I realized what I had bought. So I was a little pissed because the Dustin Hoffman one is kind of touching. Yeah. And it's a. It's an episode that stuck with me.

[Eldis]

That's my favorite episode.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Eldis]

Can I nerd out for like three seconds, please?

[Stav]

I'll just go ahead and grab this. Go grab the thing for us.

[Eldis]

So we show the audience Brad Goodman so everyone can see Bradman.

[Griffin]

And it's Albert Brooks, right? It's like the one of the Albert Brooks.

[Eldis]

But it is like of all the Albert Brooks characters, it is far and away the least known, the least popular. And he's also visually so unappealing. Of course, he is just a guy in a sweater. So these action figures talked. Right. They had, oh really state of the art microchips in their feet. And then if you plug them into an environment, like on the back, you can see the retirement home.

[Stav]

Wow.

[Eldis]

Place he was never in. He has lines. He works at the dmv, the retirement castle and Main Street.

[Griffin]

So when they started so you could build like a town, you could.

[Eldis]

And when they started making these, they had a deal with all the main voice cast. And immediately people are like, make Troy McClure. And they're like, we don't have a deal with the Hartman estate. We can't do any of the guest stars. So they worked really hard to build a separate deal structure for the guest stars and. And put them in their own guest star only series.

[Stav]

Wow.

[Eldis]

And they had an Albert Brooks deal. So they were like, all the Alpert Brooks characters are on the table. They made a Phil Hartman deal. This series was supposed to have Rabbi Krestovsky, Jackie Mason himself. And he pulled out at the last second because he thought it was offensive to Judaism to make a rabbi action figure with a plastic Torah. So they had to overproduce this guy, fill in the gap wow. And they were just like. I don't know. Maybe we just flood the she.

[Stav]

Buy it.

[Griffin]

Sad kid got handed this.

[Eldis]

No one.

[Griffin]

No.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

This was like every store had hundreds of him and no other character.

[Griffin]

Even like disaffected deadbeat parents were like,

[Stav]

I don't think this is right.

[Eldis]

Cuz the rest of the lineup. Troy McClure, Banger. Herb Powell, Danny DeVito.

[Stav]

Okay.

[Griffin]

Oh, her.

[Stav]

That's a good one. But he just looks like Homer.

[Eldis]

He just looks like Homer with hair voice. Sure. Joe Montana, Fat Tony.

[Griffin]

One of the greatest.

[Eldis]

Phil Hartman, Lionel Huts. We're like.

[Griffin]

We're dealing with like all stars.

[Eldis]

And then of course, Albert Brooks is Brad Goodman.

[Stav]

I don't know.

[Griffin]

Hank Scorpio.

[Eldis]

They did get around to it.

[Stav]

They.

[Eldis]

But that was the big mistake is they put this first.

[Griffin]

Wow.

[Stav]

So that's.

[Eldis]

That's the kind of lore I got. And now no one remembers that you asked me about masturbating to actually putting

[Griffin]

an action figure near him.

[Stav]

It's my putting an action figure around

[Griffin]

Griffin that is within 100 yards.

[Eldis]

I'm keeping my hands up.

[Stav]

I love. When was your f. What was the. Do you. Was there an action figure? You were like, oh, I need this thing when you were like four.

[Eldis]

Oh, what's.

[Stav]

Is there one that really. Cuz you're a big. I mean you're. You love movies, you love action figures, comics, all this kind of dork.

[Eldis]

Yeah, absolutely. I got. I got no rebuttal.

[Griffin]

I mean, part of me being on this is like I'm the cool one when it comes to. Even though I also had action figures and read comic books. But there's.

[Eldis]

But then also the magic of our podcast is we throw Hosley in there.

[Griffin]

And he's actually right. Got in trouble and went outside and stuff.

[Eldis]

He like touched grass.

[Griffin]

He like had a bike. He used.

[Eldis]

It wasn't like the first one, but one that I was hyper fixated on. Finally got with Small Soldiers was Small Soldiers huge. And Brick Bazooka is the. I think it's the George Kennedy character. He's sort of the blonde guy. But I love.

[Stav]

That was a. I love that movie. And furthermore, I believe Burger King created the Western cheeseburger.

[Eldis]

Correct.

[Stav]

As a tie in for the rodeo burger.

[Eldis]

The rodeo burger with the barbecue sauce and the onion rings.

[Stav]

And I remember both seeing that movie and that might be the. The. The fast food tie in.

[Eldis]

Was it Borg9 or George Kennedy?

[Stav]

Who's Brick that I remember the most. There's also the. The Batman. The Batman Forever.

[Griffin]

The cups.

[Stav]

So the Cups are classic. My mom still might have the Mr. Freeze somewhere in her house. Yeah, those are fucking awesome. But those are the ones. And by the way, I fucking love the Batman. The Batman's that the Schumacher Batman? Yeah.

[Eldis]

Joel Schumacher.

[Stav]

Just made by an insane gay guy. Yeah, of course. Who loves fucking over the top shit. The nipple suits. It's awesome.

[Eldis]

We talk about this a lot because we've covered all the Batman movies at this point. One way or another. One way or another. And at the time it was like the sentiment of like. But Batman had so many other things and they keep doing this cartoony bullshit. Yeah. When someone going to take Batman seriously, give him integrity. When Bat Begins comes out, it's hooting and hollering, we did it. He's a real human being.

[Stav]

Totally.

[Eldis]

Crime is scary. And now just every day we're like, can someone make a dumb Batman?

[Stav]

No. Make it dark.

[Griffin]

Or like literally you can't even see.

[Eldis]

Well, they're doing that too.

[Stav]

I mean they're. Dude, the Superman, the superhero shit.

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Stav]

It's like the broth is thin. They have chopped all the meat off. Now they're boiling the bones. They boiled them eight times. We need to have cartoons of everything. Everything gets a funny cartoon. Like DC is just doing. It's like enough of this bullshit. And I do, I do hope it's fudgeing. It's over.

[Griffin]

Yeah, I think it's mildly over.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

Like we'll still get a couple a year.

[Eldis]

But it definitely feels like it being the dominant thing that like grown ups

[Griffin]

have to talk about.

[Stav]

Is that fully over. That would be awesome.

[Eldis]

Totally disappearing.

[Griffin]

No, but I mean last year they were like Superman and Fantastic Four and people were like, yeah, those are for. But it's good.

[Stav]

Yeah, that's going to be the way. Like there was like they kept making westerns but nobody gave a. Like if superhero feels like the westerns for us because like you go back to the. You look at the movies that were made in like the 40s, 50s, 60s, like a lot of westerns. A lot of westerns. And then it became the thing where like what will happen in like 40 years is someone will make like an Unforgiven. You know, I mean like, and we. The superhero movies. But I hope they're done with this. It's like, yeah, let's get some guns. What? It's like 70 year old guns and guns in there where it doesn't bounce off a guy.

[Eldis]

But on the other hand, I don't want serious people shooting guns at Batman anymore.

[Stav]

No, no, no comedians, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love. I should be able to shoot a gun at Batman.

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Stav]

You know what I mean? Oh, I feel like, yeah, we should bats. Oh, I'm getting out of there. I'm at a strip club. You know, I got titties and cake in my mouth. Let's really make it slapstick.

[Griffin]

I do love first guy in every Superman movie has to be like, I'm

[Stav]

going to take one shot at it.

[Griffin]

Let's see what happens.

[Eldis]

He's a man right here. Shoot bullets at his skin. That's how this works.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

I don't think I'm like, just going to represent how strong he is. That's not why I'm here.

[Stav]

I think I can get this guy

[Eldis]

I made to look the fool.

[Stav]

I can take him down.

[Eldis]

No example.

[Stav]

But yeah. So that's my hope anyway. I don't know. I'm done with that.

[Griffin]

I'm so was your favorite movie of last year?

[Stav]

Of last year. I mean, non Begonia. You know, you put me in a real movie. I'm going to say. And I really do think, by the way, Plemons was. And we should say programming note, folks. This is after the Oscars. This is the Oscars, the Oscar recap show. But the Oscars have not actually happened for us.

[Eldis]

We're so selling our production.

[Stav]

So actually we're coming off of Begonia sweeping everything. Every category ever came out of nowhere. They actually wrote in Jesse, the first ever writing.

[Griffin]

They were like, sit down.

[Stav]

O where's Fleming? Which he did get robbed. I think he should have won.

[Griffin]

The reason he didn't get in that category is cuz it's the most insanely stacked. Like, it's just. And like, I'm not saying he shouldn't have gotten in, but I'm just like, the competition is crazy.

[Stav]

That's. Look, look. All right.

[Griffin]

Come on.

[Stav]

Blue Moon was fun. Blue Moon was fun. Ethan Hawk gives a good performance. Ethan Hawk, one of the most legendary getters of all time. True. Right? There was a period in. In Hollywood, like, there's that hilarious Matt Damon anecdote where he was saying, like, there was a moment in Hollywood when every leading man. Everybody's in the same auditions, and then they would see Ethan Hawke come out of the room. They'd be like, lost that one. Like Matt Damon was. He was the boogeyman to Matt Damon. Right? He, he, he was like, he married Uma Thurman, cheated on her. That's how much pussy this guy got. And he gets an Oscar for playing a 5:3 guy who can't get pussy. That's what he. That's what we're rewarding him for. It's like. And I know it's good, but. But it's fucked up. Number one. Yeah. You know, I mean, isn't there a 5, 3 bisexual that could have actually played that role? Oh, now we're talking about. Now we're talking about representation, but all of a sudden it doesn't matter if a five, three. Oh, a five three fucking theater obsessed bisexual who. Who has a complicated relationship with hot women but fucks a lot of guys. You don't think we could find an actor that fucking that it's balding and five three that.

[Eldis]

Javi, you find an actor who does that, what are the chances that they also understand depression? Yeah, that's the real question.

[Stav]

Right. I mean, it's an, it's an acting challenge. Because even the Hawk's like, what would it be like to play a loser? He can't even fathom what a loser.

[Griffin]

Years thinking about it.

[Stav]

And they even said that, yeah, they wanted to do the movie for 20 years.

[Griffin]

Still be like, you're still too hot,

[Stav]

you're still too high.

[Griffin]

No, thank you.

[Stav]

And it's like. And, and, and they're. That's the one where I'm like, great move. He's either got nominated because he's the man. Yes. Everybody loves. And that's no disrespect. He's a legend. I love that guy.

[Griffin]

So funny.

[Stav]

But get the out of here. That's Plemon's spot. And by the way, I think he should have won my favorite. To answer your question, though. Sorry.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Probably the Secret Agent.

[Griffin]

That's so, it is so good.

[Stav]

Yeah, it's so good. It's cast so well. It does like you know it. You want to talk about real faces,

[Griffin]

I was about to say that has the most bias.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

That felt like a documentary in the way that's like. And, and a time, you know, I mean, Marty supreme incredible. Like, I, I, the. A little. A little. I've gotten distance from them because I think my favorite movies this year were Marty supreme and One Battle. Because. Because of the experience of seeing those movies where it's like going to One Battle opening. It was one of those where I was like, I don't need to know anything and I don't want to know anything. Pta Leo, sign me the up. I'm going first day. I'm going IMAX big at the biggest. Imax. Right. That experience of getting out of there, you're but you're like holy. Yeah. I just watched a Hollywood epic.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

That they don't. It's a. Because it really. It's a melodra. It's an old fashioned movie. It's some that could have been made in the 30s as far as I'm concerned. Where it's like a high stakes family melodrama. Right. Intergenerational movie.

[Eldis]

Movie that has every genre in it at the same time.

[Stav]

And so you, you leave that and you're buzzing and you're like holy. Movies exist. They're awesome. They're real. And then Marty supreme for me is just like. I know, I just. I can't even be by it.

[Eldis]

That's your language.

[Stav]

Because it's like, it's your love language. That's me. Yeah. Me in my 20s was a piece of. With a stupid dream.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Stav]

And I thought it was more important than everyone in my life. And I was wrong. Yeah. And I'm. By the way, I'm paying for it. I. There's no, there was. There's no like, like I. Marty supreme to me was. So I'm Marty supreme without the sort of spoilers obviously. But like, you know, so if you haven't seen it, you know, fuck you. I'm giving you an extra long spoilers break because that's the kind of fucking good guy I am. I'm vamping for almost a full minute for you, you fucking piece of shit eldest flash something on the screen that says spoilers about to begin. He has the mo. Like I didn't even buy that he would give a fuck about his kid. Because in my. When I was a kid, you're like, okay, oh, my life's fucking over. I just. I have to go to fucking New York.

[Griffin]

That's what the movie.

[Stav]

No, that's what I mean. My crying out of love.

[Griffin]

But also because he knows his life is completely different.

[Eldis]

I think the ending is so interesting for that reason. Because the one inarguable thing is that this is something emotionally he is not equipped to contend with.

[Stav]

Yes.

[Eldis]

He is realizing how bullshit his life has been up until this moment. And I like there being a kind of ambigu to like how does he react to this? Well, who is he tomorrow?

[Stav]

I think you're right. And I think that's probably the best sort of general read. Like covers the most basis reading of the movie. But I also think seeing it a third time, like the first two times didn't even. The kid didn't matter to me at all. I.

[Griffin]

It didn't you're like, when's he gonna stake o lyrically getting Mr.

[Stav]

Wonderful. Exactly. Like movie Koto. Now it's time to up over. Like in my head I'm like, yeah,

[Griffin]

but, but no, like, you're still not reckoning with like, oh, table tennis become the Super Bowl.

[Stav]

He doesn't win. But I will say the third time I was like, no, this is power. Like, also, it's like, this is hollow. I'm at 37. I'm 37 now. I'm not. You know, Marty's age is like 25, whatever. And it's like I'm realizing now, fuck, I've gave too much of that shit over. And I think in a lot of ways he was saved in being able to be a complete person. Where he gets the victory that's emotional and important to him, which even in an exhibition beating Koto is what matters to him. Yeah. And to me, that's the moment I cried.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

I did not give again. Didn't cry when the baby comes out. But when he beats Cotto, I'm like, dude, that piece of won't let him in the tournament. You know what I mean? Like, I'm so mad at that little Indian guy. To me, he's as evil as Sean Penn.

[Griffin]

You know, he wanted Gordon Ramsay to play that guy. That was his original idea. But he didn't found that guy.

[Stav]

Exactly.

[Griffin]

And he like, this is way better.

[Stav]

This. He was way better.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

He was just like. I was looking this guy up and he's just like an all again shout out to Jen Vendetti. Like, she's the. I mean, and they've always find incredible people. So those movies to me were like just the most. Just appeal to me for one battle, almost like general movie. This is spectacle. I love that we're.

[Griffin]

Movies are real. That's how the movies are real. Yeah.

[Stav]

And then one Marty is just like, this just is so me. It feels like being in my 20s,

[Eldis]

but also seeing that kind of like a filmmaking sensibility of movement. A kind of collective collaborators.

[Stav]

Yes.

[Eldis]

Who have been totally. No, no temporaneous with us. Totally level up to epic level. Yes.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

It's nice to see them like, exactly. Because without even knowing it, like, because again, I cut movies. For me, it's like I watched some as a kid, but it was like I didn't really track directors. It wasn't sports for me. You know what I mean? And the Safdies, without even meaning to, I was kind of organically on board with their career from, you know, starting With. I mean, when somebody showed me good time.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

And then it's like uncut. And then the guys that made that. Yeah. Got something going with Sandman. Yeah, of course I'm listening. And then both. I mean, I. I even really liked. I mean, Smashing Machine got fucked like ticket wise. I fucking love that movie. I thought it was fucking awesome. Yeah. So it was. It was cool to. Yes. From that level too. It was cool that it's like, oh, these motherfuckers keep making awesome shit. But yeah. But having said all that after seeing a lot of them and to be fair, I still have to see. I still haven't seen. It was just an accident. I actually bought it. I think you're like, I was way too stoned. I was like, don't be stoned. Yeah. This deserves me listening. And then I watched RoboCop 3 instead. And I gotta say, RoboCop 3 is awesome.

[Eldis]

Stavi, I agree with you.

[Griffin]

It's very anti 2, but pro 3.

[Stav]

Well, 2's fine too though.

[Eldis]

Can we.

[Stav]

I think we're gonna do it on our.

[Eldis]

The RoboCop series. On our Patreon RoboCop. Basically my favorite movie. Because I might need a little support in the defense.

[Stav]

Oh. If you want. If you want to cook the books. If you want to put. If you want to. If you want to stack the deck. I loved it. So I would love to be. But even to two might be interesting though. Because I love two as well.

[Griffin]

Griff doesn't like better.

[Eldis]

I'll give you my. My analogy.

[Stav]

You.

[Griffin]

I've never seen the sequels. I've seen the original.

[Eldis]

And you've never seen the remake.

[Griffin]

I've certainly never seen the remake.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And I think the same way. And the first one is so sacred to me.

[Stav]

Of course, the first one.

[Griffin]

I've probably seen bits of the sequels on TV because they were always on cable. Yeah.

[Eldis]

And I. I hold the original in such esteem that it's the only thing that I was like this about where I was like, I actually refuse to watch the sequels.

[Stav]

Wow.

[Eldis]

Because I want to retain the purity. I'm usually such a completist piece of shit.

[Stav]

Sure.

[Eldis]

And finally, I think I can't remember if it was in lockdown where I was like, fuck it, I'm watching them.

[Stav]

Right.

[Eldis]

And I watched too. And I was like, this is just kind of worse. RoboCop. And it bumps me out.

[Griffin]

He's like, robocop and he shoots people.

[Stav]

Right.

[Griffin]

I'm a little less precious about RoboCop.

[Stav]

So good that a shitty retread of it is still like a B minus, Right. Like it still goes down smooth.

[Griffin]

He doesn't like that. RoboCop's like back to being a RoboCop.

[Eldis]

That's what I don't.

[Griffin]

You know what I mean?

[Eldis]

The victory's gone.

[Stav]

Yeah. Because at the end RoboCop, he's like, what's your name, son? Murphy. Really? I'm Murphy. And then, yes. RoboCop 2 just sort of helmets back on.

[Eldis]

His name's RoboCop.

[Stav]

Shooting people all over again.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

And yes, the now. Tom Noonan's awesome.

[Eldis]

Noonan's incredible. He's the villain. Right.

[Stav]

But even the rest of the. The I would say I don't like

[Eldis]

the rest of the game's not as deep. Everything with Kane is great.

[Griffin]

Who's the villain in 3?

[Stav]

3. Oh. 3 is kind of awesome because it's like now. Now it's bringing globalism in the mix.

[Griffin]

This is the one Frank Miller kind of worked on, right?

[Eldis]

He worked on. So he wrote a script for two hours, but then they like scrapped and used pieces of what he wrote for both two and three.

[Griffin]

Okay.

[Stav]

Oh, interesting.

[Eldis]

Yeah. So you can read. They've made a comic of three is more interesting.

[Stav]

Three is much more interesting.

[Eldis]

Frank Miller, I don't think his thing was perfect, but like he had a little bit of the Verhoeven humor, which I think two can't totally dial in commercials. And two are good.

[Stav]

But even as good, even then the commercials and we don't have to get it like, this is so fucking funny. Yeah. Where we're just like getting into the

[Griffin]

minutia of RoboCop sequels. I just watched the Psycho sequels. You ever seen the Psycho sequels?

[Stav]

No, no, no. They're weird.

[Eldis]

The thing for me with three just watched it, right. Is like everyone's like that one's but it's PG13 and it's like you don't feel it's not even Peter Weller. And I'm like, at this point, if we're watering down RoboCop, I'd rather water it. Water it all the way down to the dumbest imaginable where at least it can have goofy fun.

[Stav]

Sure.

[Eldis]

And he fights like robot ninjas and

[Stav]

then he has a G flies at the end. Yeah, yeah. Like that.

[Eldis]

I'm like, no. To me it's the difference between like having a high end steak. A steak at a diner.

[Stav]

Yeah. And a big point. That's a good point.

[Eldis]

And I'm like, RoboCop 3 is a big Mac.

[Stav]

That's fair, right? Here's what I'll say. I don't think RoboCop 2 is a stake at a diner. I think it's a steak at Chili's or. Or TGI Friday.

[Griffin]

Sure.

[Stav]

Where it's like fair argument. You know, where it's still just barely edible.

[Griffin]

Sure.

[Stav]

If we went. Because I do think it's. It has enough again. Robocop is so good. Robocop is like you got a shitty ribeye, people. You can still cut the little fatty parts and eat that. That's still good. The middle meat might not be so good, but there's still some good ass good in there.

[Eldis]

You know, movie with a lot of fatty.

[Stav]

It's got some awesome. Some awesome stuff in there. Yeah, but.

[Eldis]

But some stuff you have to clear off the plate.

[Stav]

Totally, totally. Totally. But we won't. We will stop talking about Robo. The RoboCop sequels.

[Griffin]

Were they in play at the Oscars this year? Can't remember. Was RoboCop 3 in the middle?

[Stav]

RoboCop 3. Yeah. Is being. Yeah, they're doing that. They're starting. Best sequel from the 90s. Fellas, let's be real for a second. When it comes to performance, good enough isn't good enough. And that's exactly why bluechew just raised the bar. Introducing bluechew Gold, the revolutionary four in one upgrade that targets both your brain and your body. Here's the deal. Most blue pills only focus on blood flow. Bluechew Gold goes further because it's not just about function anymore. It's about total performance, physical and mental. Bluechew Gold dissolves right under your tongue and starts working in as little as 15 minutes. This is the future of performance. Faster, smarter and precision engineered for results. Bluechew's turning bedroom performance into a professional sport. Go for gold. Bluechew built different. Discover your [e-mail] and we've got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with Code Stavi. That's promo code STAVI. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Folks, I'm moving into a new spot right now. It's very exciting. Decorating, getting new furniture, doing a little home improvement, painting some spots that they might have missed. I love getting everything in control at my new place, including pest control. Pesti is a do it yourself pest control that makes protecting your home simple and effective. The Pesti kit includes pro grade pesticides, the same stuff the pros use Plus a sprayer, mixing bag, gloves and instructions you can complete in under 10 minutes. It's customized to your location, season and climate. And it gets rid of over 100 types of bugs, from spiders and ants to roaches and more. No appointments, no strangers at your house. Treatments start at just 35 bucks and pesty backs with a 100% bug free guarantee or your money back. Not my new place, but the place I just left, I will admit had a bit of a bug problem here and there. When I first moved in, they hadn't really cleaned. It was gross. We had big ass roaches. Pesty fixed it up in one moment. Okay, I handled it. My landlord was a kind of difficult to deal with. I was like, I don't want to deal with other guys coming in and out, him setting up a, you know, exter anybody in my house, none of that. I handled it myself as soon, I mean, within a couple treatments I really did not have a problem again. And it was so easy to do maintenance. And I'm not, you know, I'm a handy. I'm not the handiest guy in the world. But with Pesi it was very easy. I love not seeing those disgusting bugs in my bathroom. I had a nice bathroom. Sometimes when I first moved in, they were all over the tub. The relief, you can't. It was incredible knowing that I had control of making sure my home was pest free. Keep the bugs away with pesty. Go to pesty.comstavi for an extra 10% off your order. That's P E S T-I E.comstavi for an extra ten percent off.

[Eldis]

May I share with you, please? Because you were talking about your one battle experience. I can't remember. I've told you this story. I don't know. I certainly haven't shared it on mic. This feels like the most appropriate. Please share it.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I ended up having to take a last minute trip to LA.

[Stav]

Okay.

[Eldis]

And I had tickets for one battle in like 70 million.

[Stav]

A member of the armed forces made you jack off at gunpoint.

[Eldis]

Exactly.

[Stav]

Is that what you're gonna say?

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Because they got your dick hard, GI Joe. Yeah. Yeah.

[Eldis]

That's the one time I've jerked off to an action figure. It was an action figures demand. I, I, you know, like I was like, gotta get the right tickets for one battle. And then suddenly it was all like,

[Stav]

you gotta see

[Eldis]

opening night and whatever. And then I had to like give up my tickets. And I was like, fuck, I'm not be able to see it right. In a Friend of mine is like, I have extra tickets for the Vista, the theater Tarantino. I love the vista opening night. 70 millimeter.

[Stav]

That's.

[Eldis]

And I'm like, incredible. I go. I get there. It's the screening that DiCaprio right there. And PTA come out and do an intro ad, and they're doing a video, and PTA is like, directing the crowd on how to, like, line up. And the clip went a little viral. And it's like, I'm literally the last row, and that's happening in the front. And I was like, this is the best way to see this movie. Yeah, this is perfect night.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

But DiCaprio comes out, he makes a speech. He's like, this is my childhood theater. I love this place. My dad took me here every weekend. And my parents are here tonight.

[Stav]

Whoa.

[Eldis]

And he points and they stand up.

[Griffin]

You have told me there are two

[Eldis]

rows directly in front of me, right? His weird hippie parents.

[Stav]

Yeah, he has. His dad and his stepmom are like, Like. So I saw they. Because they were. They were extras in Once Upon a Time. And they just looked.

[Griffin]

His dad's in licorice. Pizza is like the watermelon.

[Eldis]

Weird crusty Hollywood from the 70s underground comics guy. And it's the dad, the stepmom, and his biological mother.

[Stav]

Oh, cool.

[Eldis]

Are all there, right? And so I'm watching them watch the movie, right? And it. It has this sort of 40x thing where you're like, right. This movie is so much kind of like DiCaprio playing his parents.

[Stav]

He's so inside of him. So same to just imagine Leonardo DiCaprio's parents watching a movie. Just the way, like, I wonder how my son. I wonder how my son, Leonardo DiCaprio, did in this movie.

[Eldis]

Truly, like, I'm watch them watch the movie and tap each other, and it's as if it's a school play, you know, they're not like, of course our son. They're just sort of like, this is funny, right?

[Stav]

I think his dad's the one that text him is like, get those old off, dude. That'd be awesome if his dad was like, dude, nice, dude. I see who you're up. I see who you're dating these days.

[Eldis]

So halfway through the movie, my friend Derek, who goes to see it with me, gets up to go to the bathroom, and then I see Leo's dad get up and walk out immediately after. And I'm like, oh, my God, they're gonna be in the bathroom together. And we'd already. It's been Pointing out, it's like, that's so funny. That's DiCaprio's dad. That's crazy. Derek comes back out, followed immediately by DiCaprio's dad. And I was like, you were just. I don't know if you noticed. You were just in the bathroom at the same time as him. And he goes, yeah, he took a big shit and didn't flush. So we watched the rest of.

[Stav]

It's awesome.

[Eldis]

We watched the rest of the movie.

[Griffin]

You just can't shake this knowledge.

[Stav]

Like, yeah, we're watching the rest of the movie. And 30ft from you, different room. Leo's dad's log is just marinating.

[Eldis]

There is a DiCaprio.

[Stav]

You're in the back, you're close. Yeah, no, I've been in that theater. If you're in the back, you're really close to the bathroom.

[Eldis]

Watch the rest of the movie, right? Yeah, movies long. There's at least go with a bad

[Stav]

Griffin with a Ziploc. Maybe I can make an action fig. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ghetto Pat made out of. Get made out of Leonardo DiCaprio's father's real.

[Eldis]

So sit through the rest of the movie, right?

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

At the end, I. I run into a different friend of mine there, Morgan. And I'm like, hey, how are you doing? He goes, like, I gotta tell you the funniest thing. You're gonna love this. My girlfriend went to the bathroom before the movie started. She comes out, she's like. Like some woman took a giant in the stall and didn't even flush it. Who the would do this? Then we sit down, they come out to do the intro. DiCaprio goes, My parents. They stand up. His girlfriend goes, it was DiCaprio's mom.

[Griffin]

Are they just.

[Eldis]

Both of his parents, they don't want

[Griffin]

to waste water, dude.

[Eldis]

I get that.

[Stav]

Dude. Yeah, I guess that must be some hip hippie. That's awesome rules. It's awesome to do that and not. It's like, all right, listen, if you're at home, you want to leave in your, like, you know, into a box that you're like broccoli stocks go into and fine.

[Eldis]

Hello.

[Stav]

Fine. Yeah. But at the. A public bathroom, it's insane.

[Griffin]

Movie being shown. And they are like an audience.

[Eldis]

They are the most visually distinctive people in the world. For anyone who doesn't have an image, Google DiCaprio. Paris. They're crazy.

[Griffin]

I mean, God bless, like, it's the best. And it is so funny that they made like, the hottest person, like, of the 90s or whatever.

[Guest]

Of course.

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Stav]

That's beautiful.

[Eldis]

It was incredible.

[Stav]

Wow. Yeah. No, a couple. No flushers. That's awesome, dude. That's a. That's a beautiful way to see it, though. That's great.

[Eldis]

If we heard like, you know, all the, like, DiCaprio things where they're like, oh, he like, vapes and keeps his headphones on during sex and whatever. No one's been like. Like he's got some weird thing where he never flushes.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He likes to. He likes to feed women until the point they have to, but he won't let them. He's like. He's like. He does like bdsm.

[Eldis]

Sorry, it's Claude. Sorry, it wasn't me.

[Stav]

Oh, I bet you need to take a fat shit, don't you? I bet you just want to leave it in the bowl.

[Eldis]

What?

[Stav]

You can't.

[Griffin]

Don't rich guys like him have mansions with, like 12 bathrooms? So he could, like, go from one to the other?

[Stav]

I wonder if he's a mansion guy.

[Griffin]

I don't know. Is he a mansion guy?

[Stav]

I don't know. We don't know much about him, which I respect.

[Griffin]

I already said this. The only thing I know about him is he has the greatest collection of movie posters that, like, if you go to his house or whatever, he's got this like, like five star, incredible antique collection of movies.

[Stav]

I respect that.

[Eldis]

It's just incredible. It was the Nikki Glaser joke. But that this guy has been so mega famous for, like, we don't know

[Griffin]

anything about him except that he fucks Superman.

[Eldis]

From the second we get like past 98, 99, we've learned no new information other than, I guess he cares about environment.

[Griffin]

Right. He likes electric cars and he dates 25 year olds.

[Stav]

What we've gotten is. Yes, but here's the thing. The even the 25 year olds thing, the more. The more you, like, kind of understand how media and things work. It's like that fully could be fake. Yeah, that could be like, we just want him to look like a play, but we don't want anybody to know his real. It's honestly Bruce Wayne esque.

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Stav]

Where it's like Bruce Wayne is out there getting his dick sucked, you know, in the middle of a restaurant.

[Eldis]

Bruce Wayne, where we're like, like, yeah, we know this guy. Right? And then you're like, huh? Has he ever said a human thing in an interview?

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And it's not that I think he's lying or like diverting attention. He's making us think that he's not hiding anything. That he's just like, I love guy out there.

[Griffin]

He's just like, I love movies. I make movies.

[Eldis]

And I'm like.

[Stav]

Which I get. I respect. Yeah, I get that. But yeah, come on. I bet. Yeah, Leo. Come on. The Stabby's World. I bet you've been. If you've been waiting or Leo's parents for the invite.

[Griffin]

Leo's parents might be good.

[Stav]

I would love to have Leo's parents.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Stav]

You know, can't you listen. Go to the bathroom before you get here. But you're welcome. You're welcome. Before you get to the studio. But if it's yellow, you can let it melt. Absolutely.

[Guest]

They're in good company on this side of the room.

[Stav]

That's true.

[Guest]

Sometimes a flush doesn't happen all the way.

[Stav]

The first one of. The first podcast we did in our little makeshift. We're in the makeshift downtown studios. This is very funny because you guys are seeing. We have. We've upgraded the couch maybe. Are they catching. Are they catching the rug at all? Eldest. It doesn't matter. The point is this is. We're put chronologically. This is the last of a batch. Wow. So they're gonna see a lot of the shittier couch before. But this the first one we did with Eric. Andre Eldis had just clogged the bathroom. He was clogging the toilet.

[Guest]

In my defense, it was like one of the first times I came here. I didn't know how bad the future was. Does how to finesse the flushes when you're up there. And there wasn't a plunger here yet.

[Eldis]

But just to clarify, that was not for lack of trying to flush. You just did not succeed in getting it done.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

I have an Australian friend who told me that a turd that won't flush is called a grogan. I've never forgotten it.

[Stav]

They love weird.

[Griffin]

They love weird.

[Stav]

And I don't know if it doesn't grogan mean like.

[Griffin]

It means like your bud, right?

[Stav]

No, I think that means like a. That's like a type of white trash.

[Eldis]

Oh, yeah, that sounds Jon Hamm's character in Shrek 4.

[Stav]

Oh, really?

[Eldis]

Handsome ogre, Brogan.

[Stav]

Oh, Brogan the handsome.

[Griffin]

That's kind of funny. I haven't gotten there yet. I've never gotten a Shrek.

[Stav]

I haven't gotten to four either. Are they making five?

[Eldis]

Yeah, big time.

[Stav]

Oh, yeah. Okay. You're not in there. Not in it.

[Eldis]

That's actually a stuff that's a little up. Or you're being really canny right now.

[Stav]

Oh, are they.

[Griffin]

Oh, they're making a Shrek. What? What's the number?

[Stav]

Is Shrek gonna take his family to a diet? An ogre diner, bro. If there's an ogre diner and I don't do the Voice on Shrek 5, I actually will be.

[Griffin]

You will storm DreamWorks?

[Stav]

Yeah, I really. Look, I'm doing okay.

[Eldis]

If.

[Stav]

Maybe if Shrek comes out in a couple years, I'm in. But I'm just saying, if I see a diner. Yeah, if I see an ogre diner. Dude, if I don't. If I don't serve Shrek souvlaki, I'm gonna be pissed, dude. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. That would be awesome, dude. Anyway, what are you gonna do? That's not. You know, for now, you know, not. I didn't see the four, though. Definitely saw Shrek in theaters.

[Griffin]

That was a. I saw Shrek in theaters. I saw Shrek 2 in theaters. I left it there.

[Stav]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Griffin]

My daughter has watched Shrek a few times, but she didn't stick with Shrek, like, so she thought it was okay.

[Stav]

How old are you, kid?

[Griffin]

She's five.

[Stav]

Five.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Okay. That's a fun age to, like, be introducing.

[Griffin]

It's the best. And now every animated movie, I saw Goat, I saw Hoppers. I'm like, oh, we just go to. We go to these.

[Stav]

That's awesome.

[Griffin]

She loved goats. Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Stav]

Wait, is that the Steph Curry one? Yeah. Really interesting. All right, I'll give it a whirl. But you. So you saw it in theaters. This is a very. And this is a funny thing about, like, listening you guys podcast because I just kind of jumped around through movies. Right.

[Griffin]

So you're at different points.

[Stav]

So it's very funny to, like, pop in and out. But I do love that the joke that you eventually had to ban about you living in England.

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Stav]

Where everybody would pretend they were surprised and you got. It was funny. Watching you get more and more pissed off to the point where you weren't even kidding anymore. You're like, stop bringing it up.

[Griffin]

Listeners agree that that was funny.

[Stav]

Yeah, I know.

[Eldis]

It's crazy is it would come up organically in, like, every.

[Stav]

It does My life. Because you're talking about when you saw a movie where you saw it, like,

[Eldis]

my entire adolescence, so many of the directors, we cover people who are, like, 90s coming of age for us, and so I start doing the bit of being like, like, huh, That's I think I've heard that before.

[Stav]

And you did for our listeners. You grew up like you were born here. You're a Manhattan kid, right?

[Eldis]

I'm born and raised.

[Stav]

Yeah. And maybe the most.

[Griffin]

The most.

[Stav]

You look that to such a. Hilarious.

[Eldis]

I am little man.

[Stav]

It's like you look like a little guy. Like you weren't even allowed to grow cuz you're in an apartment with no sun. You know what I mean? Like it looks like physic. Not only do you appear with your style wise, but like everything about you is like, oh, that's a guy who grew up in Manhattan. Right, Right. Which is very awesome. I love that about you. It's.

[Eldis]

I'm working through it.

[Stav]

Yeah, no, it's great. It's an. It's awesome to be. But first of all, I think it's awesome to be a guy I know,

[Griffin]

to be a kind of guy, any kind of guy. I don't know.

[Stav]

It's a big win. So that's huge.

[Eldis]

It is. It is so funny that growing up with other New York kids, they would be like, you're such a New Yorker.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Like, you'd be like, you're the same as me.

[Griffin]

And they're like, no, you're more.

[Stav]

You're the one who embarrasses us. Yeah, yeah, right. It's like that any. In any kind of group. You're doing the stereotype. Yes. You know what I mean? It's like, you know, if, like, if like Unasian happens to be bad at driving, other Asians are like, come on, man. That's what they say about us. That's what they say about you. And like. Yeah. Talking about action figures and movies and like, you know what I mean?

[Eldis]

Like, that's like multiple different groups. Make it a little bit less of a layup.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

But I the bit heightened obviously from like being like. I haven't heard this.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

What.

[Stav]

What age did you go?

[Griffin]

I moved to.

[Stav]

So you grew up here though.

[Griffin]

You were born in New York? Dad's English though.

[Eldis]

What?

[Griffin]

He died? But he was English, dude.

[Stav]

He was. Shouldn't have been dealing drugs, dude. I saw that you got gunned down. Elderly British heroin addict slash dealer gunned down in the streets.

[Griffin]

No, but my dad like got a job in England, so I moved to London when I was nine. Lived in London, then went to college in Britain. Like I was there until I was 22.

[Stav]

9 through 22.

[Griffin]

13 years.

[Stav]

13 years. But. But you were old enough to not even get a hint of.

[Griffin]

Have I got the accent you do when I did. If I. And if I go back, it comes back.

[Stav]

Comes back.

[Griffin]

But I sound. I always say this. I sounded like Madonna.

[Stav]

You know what I mean?

[Griffin]

Yeah. I just sounded like some weird kid who was sort of American, but just like.

[Stav]

Right.

[Griffin]

Had the British idioms.

[Stav]

Sure.

[Griffin]

And the whole thing of moving there was.

[Stav]

I was just like, fair play, old chap.

[Griffin]

Not like that. Not like that. But I moved there and I was just like, I'm nine years old. I don't want to get made fun of.

[Stav]

Like I'm gonna get made fun.

[Griffin]

Of course you'll say some in front of these nine year olds. Like eraser. The word eraser to mean something to like rub your pants. And they'll be like, what the did you do?

[Stav]

Because they called a rubber rubber. Yeah.

[Griffin]

And like. And like there were a million pitfalls like that I totally had to learn how to avoid. I just don't want him to fuss over me.

[Stav]

Of course.

[Griffin]

And I got really into football, you know, soccer. Just to prove to have the language.

[Stav]

Here's how not American I am. Yeah, I love football.

[Griffin]

But it's also. Sports is the easiest way to talk to people. So like you just like I got like deep into. Into football.

[Stav]

That's one of the most like general pieces of advice I'll give to Ed because we have a lot of absolute fucking losers that listen to this podcast because that's where we all. By the way. I'm not saying that disparagingly. Time is a flat circle. I was once a f. The the version of me that listens to this podcast. I listened to whatever the equivalent of this was when I was an 18 year old.

[Eldis]

Fat loser podcast exists because we didn't know each other at that age.

[Griffin]

Conversations with nobod like on a message board or something.

[Eldis]

It's true nightmare.

[Stav]

And I want to say want to like to all the dorks out there and Griff, you're It's too late for you but settled just some BA learning baseline sports 100 is the most useful small talk in America.

[Griffin]

In America learn about people say as

[Eldis]

the person who does not have the ability. I could not agree more, man.

[Griffin]

But also just talking to like anyone like like you like at a restaurant, you know, like just a guy on the street. Like any like. It's just most people can talk to

[Stav]

you about sports 100% and it just is a quick thing Father in laws. You know what I mean? Like just a scary older guys of any kind.

[Griffin]

Father in laws. It's like sports and like what Roads I took to drive to your house.

[Stav]

Yeah, that's true. The older you get, it can be like, traffic, take the Dean.

[Griffin]

I'm like, no, I took the pro.

[Stav]

All right, all right, good. Interesting. You know, usually they're always working on that left lane over there. You know what I mean?

[Eldis]

Meanwhile, I go to sports bars and I'm like, so do you know they actually overproduced the Brad Goodman action figure? Because it's funny. Jackie Mason pulled out.

[Stav]

Yeah. Yeah. What's funny about you, Griff, too, is that, like, I would assume that you. Your fan. Knowing. Not. Not knowing you. Right. Just when I was like, you know, listen to the podcast that you. Your family was just like four versions

[Eldis]

of you very much.

[Stav]

You know what I mean? That. It's like, you just assume it's going to be like, oh, everyone. It's like a cart. It's like Milhouse's family. You know what I. Everybody sort of looks like you, but just like, different heights and shapes.

[Eldis]

I believe I use the term to David this week. Rugrat parents. Yeah, sure. Every rugrat parent is like a reverse engineer.

[Stav]

Yeah. Yeah. So. But it's funny because I did very randomly, when we met, I. I met your dad simultaneously.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

I might have actually touched your father before I touched.

[Eldis]

He touched you?

[Stav]

Yeah. He came in for a hunt and

[Eldis]

it was a wrestling. Like a grapple hut.

[Stav]

No, Mike, Which I love about my

[Eldis]

greatest dream in life was to be a sports broadcaster. That's all he wanted to do. He was like. He was a wrestling kid, but he's. He's a. Yeah, he's like a little kind of guy.

[Stav]

Being a little guy, you gotta go wrestler if you're gonna be an athlete or I guess, jockey.

[Eldis]

And he had, like, you know. But I think he was a little too, like, broad to be a jock.

[Stav]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eldis]

And he's. He's, like, more built than I am. Totally. And he had the wrestling thing, but it's like, there's not a professional path to this.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

And he was like, what do I want to do? I literally want to talk about sports for a living.

[Stav]

Talk about a guy that would have loved having a podcast.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Truly.

[Stav]

Oh, no.

[Griffin]

He was born out of the wrong generation

[Eldis]

because he finally, like, he got a shot eventually to do a tv, a local TV broadcast. And he was like, I can't stand being on cameras.

[Stav]

Wow.

[Eldis]

I hate this.

[Stav]

Really.

[Griffin]

He's Albert Brooks in broadcast news. He's sweating the second they turn it on.

[Eldis]

But what he did leading into that is he worked for A company called SportsPhone. And SportsPhone was for gambling addicts of which he was one obsessive betters on games every night.

[Stav]

It's like a 1900 number for gamblers. So it was like, tell me about your parlay, big boy. Should I take the spurs under tonight?

[Eldis]

It's crazier than that.

[Stav]

It was.

[Eldis]

Although that would have been a good business.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

It was like, if you have a lot riding on the games and you can't wait until the papers hit tomorrow

[Griffin]

morning, we'll tell you who won to

[Eldis]

know if you've ruined yourself.

[Caller]

Right.

[Eldis]

It's a pre recorded message that you call up and every hour they update it with the current school.

[Stav]

So it was like the Sports center tracker, the like ticker before.

[Eldis]

So it was a pre recorded, like vocal message.

[Stav]

That's awesome.

[Eldis]

You know, voicemail line where he was precision Pete Newman and he got to try out like the voice.

[Stav]

That's incredible.

[Eldis]

His lingo. And he was like. And this is the stepping stone to being the guy on camera.

[Stav]

Wow.

[Eldis]

And then he just collapsed. He was like, I. Oh, it turns out I hate doing this.

[Stav]

But it just time to pivot. Which is interesting though because it's like. And then your brother works in basketball.

[Eldis]

My brother is the general manager of the men's and women's teams in Sydney, Australia.

[Stav]

With the Kings. Yeah, yeah.

[Griffin]

And it's literally like the nbl. That's right.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

And I'd like. I. And I'm like, oh, is like Luke Longley involved? Yes. Is Andrew Bogan involved? I believe so.

[Stav]

Yes.

[Griffin]

Like, it's like every Australian. I think Matthew Delladova is on the team.

[Stav]

Yeah. Dude.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

Player coach Matthew Del, I think basically.

[Stav]

That's awesome. Yeah, that's so. So you were based. And so the rest. It's just interesting to think about. Yeah. So every. It was your family. It was like your dad and your brother were sporting. And then it was like there must have been like, what about your mom's side? What's that?

[Eldis]

My mom worked as an actress for a while and then got really frustrated with it.

[Stav]

Sure.

[Eldis]

And was like, what if I have a normal kid?

[Stav]

Of course. And then. Yeah. She went, what? One for three? I don't know how many.

[Griffin]

They're all weird.

[Stav]

They're all weird. Okay.

[Eldis]

Right. I mean, here's what I always like.

[Stav]

How many do you have? How many?

[Eldis]

Three. There's three. My brother's the middle and I have a younger sister who works in food. It's. It's very much like a royal tannenbaum's family. Where rather than being 5 mil houses, it's like everyone's a main.

[Griffin]

Everyone's got.

[Stav]

Yeah, everyone's got their own kind of

[Griffin]

some insane bit where you're like, oh my God. I mean, I love his family.

[Eldis]

They're all great.

[Stav]

Oh, totally. I mean, your dad was so clearly like a little guy who needs to be hanging out with a giant guy at all times. He's clearly a Timon and Pumbaa. Like most of his life is Timon and Pumbaa.

[Eldis]

So like, just because he immediately came.

[Griffin]

He loves Gabriel so much. Yeah, right?

[Eldis]

Yeah, because we.

[Stav]

I loved him, dude.

[Eldis]

He could.

[Stav]

He's. He's welcome anytime.

[Eldis]

So I was doing.

[Stav]

In fact, I would love to do a fucking bonus set with your dad, dude.

[Eldis]

You could get that. Precision P. Precision P. We were doing Doughboys had Gabris and I come with them to DC for a live show.

[Stav]

I happen to be hanging out.

[Eldis]

And you were like, oh, I'll come drive over, come see the show. And then you end up doing a thing on the show as well. And so my dad, one of his childhood best friends had just passed away. Oh, right.

[Stav]

You guys were there for the funeral.

[Eldis]

Going to be in D.C. the next day. I already had this plan with the Doughboys and I was like, if you're getting in that night, do you want to come see a comedy show show? I think you like these. You'd like these guys. And it might be like a nice kind of relief. And not this friend who had died, but like his all time best friend who is my godfather as the first kid is Big Howard. Big Howard was like the Timon and Pumbaa. That's giant.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

Heavyweight wrestling, buddy.

[Stav]

That's awesome.

[Eldis]

Really kind of Gabrius adjacent. Totally boisterousness and the life of the party thing. And so I'm at dinner with my dad and he's doing okay, but I'm like, all of this is. He's working through a lot of one of his childhood stuff by. I'm like, let's go back to the hotel. We're going to meet the other guys. And then walk over to the theater. And we walk into the lobby. You Gabris, Mitch and Weger.

[Stav]

That's true. Wer's the smallest guy, right?

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

And he's already six, whatever.

[Eldis]

Starts crying tears of joy and immediately

[Stav]

just like literally starts wrestling me. I don't know the guy at all

[Eldis]

trying to lift you up.

[Stav]

It was awesome. And it was awesome because we slept right into it. I Was like, you, you old piece of. You're not gonna get me.

[Eldis]

He's like doing this thing and capers and Mitchell wi, who I've known for a while, are like, this is the piece I was missing in understanding you. It's funny that he's like you, but with this added, like, energy. And then, since then, I don't want to say that he's become your biggest fan, but you have become the thing. He is a big fan, period. And he said to me recently, it

[Stav]

was a good time to learn about me. Like, that was exactly when all this other was popping up.

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Stav]

Right.

[Eldis]

So it feels like it's crazy. This ascension is everywhere. But we also were walking like four blocks from the hotel to the theater, and guys kept on like dapping you or high fiving you. And he was like, all these people know who he is. It's a big deal.

[Griffin]

And you were also in your home turf.

[Stav]

He thought it was just a fun fat guy, which that's who I, that's, that is part of him being for a while. That is who I am.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

That's why that's, that is the stone. That's the bedrock of everything.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Stav]

At the end of the day, you take it all away, dude. I'm still a fat guy. That's fun to pretend to wrestle with.

[Eldis]

Favorite kind of person. He said to me the other day, he was like, it's crazy how big Stav he's gotten. I open Instagram, every post is him algorithm. Anytime STI shows up, you like it. You probably do. Hands of money your sleep. 90% of users are posting you. Of course that 90%.

[Stav]

If only we lived in that world. There's so much to talk about too. I mean, we'll get, we, we'll have to take some calls. But you, maybe you'll just have to bring precision Pete back, dude, because.

[Eldis]

Easy ass.

[Stav]

Because I mean, his obsession with competitive eaters is incredible. The fact that he's a gambling addict is awesome.

[Griffin]

Still.

[Eldis]

Or has he gambling? I think he stayed pretty.

[Stav]

He's like, tough to be gambling.

[Eldis]

Those impulses have transferred into other areas of his life.

[Stav]

He's not literally cheating on your mom. He's cheating on your mom. He's. He was, he was your dad's heroin selling partner.

[Eldis]

He has three card Monty. He's running the con for others.

[Stav]

Well, yeah, we gotta have both of you back. And, and, and we do have to talk. I, I if we can. The problem is I'm gone a lot. But I'd love to talk RoboCop 3 if we could figure it out.

[Griffin]

Don't worry, there's no rush.

[Eldis]

We'll get you y.

[Stav]

But, but we should take some calls, Elder. So why don't we. Why don't we see what our, you know, our gentleman here. We. We haven't. We didn't even mention Sims. You're a father of three. True. Which is like, because you had twins, right? This. And that's, that's what my parents do. They wanted two kids and they got completely.

[Griffin]

One then two.

[Stav]

They got one. If they'd had two, no chance. They had a.

[Griffin]

No, of course.

[Stav]

That.

[Griffin]

That's so rare. The only reason I'm reacting is like, you never meet people like that.

[Stav]

Yeah, I meet.

[Griffin]

Now I'm. My kids in school. My. My five year old year old, you know, I'm meeting other twin parents and I'll say to them, like, oh, I have twins. And she's like, they're like, oh, she's a twin. I'm like, no, we got twins after her. And the twin parents go like, oh, that's up. Jesus Christ.

[Stav]

It's like you got. You had like, like a. You got dealt 15 at blackjack. And you're like, all right, I'll hit,

[Griffin]

I'll hit, I'll hit.

[Stav]

And they're like, give me, give me,

[Griffin]

give me everything you own. It's all gone. It's all gone.

[Stav]

I got greedy.

[Griffin]

But wait. But. Yeah, but I have three kids. Why, like, do you. Why are you bringing this?

[Stav]

Well, just because, Just to show the complete. The kind of psychological mastery, the different. Where the, the context that this advice will come from. Absolutely. We have Griff, who is still essentially a child in almost every way. And then, and then I'm kind of right in the middle here. But. So just let. Letting our, Our, our guests know that they're. That's who you're getting some. That's who you're getting advice from. A nice wide swath of lived experience.

[Griffin]

Right. And don't most people just call in and be like, I jerk off all the time? Like, what do I do about that?

[Stav]

Well, we'll see. I'll. We just did a couple. We just did a bunch of pods because we have to cover up.

[Griffin]

So we're getting like the drags.

[Stav]

We have thousands of calls, but eldest is horrible at his job, so he probably. This happens all the time where if we do a batch, you just see the degradation over time. Where it's like the first three episodes like, whoa, these are great questions. And the fourth one's like, by the end, it's like, I got a knife, and I'm thinking about using it.

[Griffin]

I'm gonna do it.

[Stav]

My mom's been looking at me funny, and then it's like, so anyway, here's. You're legally liable for this stuff. It's always like that by the end. But let's challenge Eldis now. He did get here over 40 minutes early to prepare, so. And the setup takes 45 minutes. But that's another thing.

[Eldis]

No clogged toilet.

[Stav]

No. Well, no clogged toilet. That's something. Well, let's see, you know, sit here today. That's good to know, man.

[Guest]

Hey, we'll let the people.

[Stav]

Let's let the people decide. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

[Caller]

Hi, Savvy. I just called, and I talked about my story, so I'm calling back anyway. Hi, Stav. Hello, esteemed guest. All right. So I am married to my husband. We have been. I'm married to my husband. Whatever. I've been married for about a year, and the past, like, year or so, my husband's getting. Been getting a lot of cold sore. And, you know, of course, we were trying to be careful about kissing and all that. I've gotten cold sores since I was a kid, so I wasn't really worried about if I got it. Then, you know, we just deal with it and I take some meds and call it a day. But this last weekend, I looked at my pussy. Let's just be frank. And there was some blisters. And to my. My. My shock.

[Stav]

Yeah, it's tough.

[Caller]

I show my husband, and he. We immediately went to the thought of, okay, well, how the did that happen? He keeps apologizing.

[Stav]

Oh, no. That could have happened any. There's any way that could have. Right?

[Eldis]

We.

[Stav]

We both. Both aren't sure how it happened. Right. We're both confused.

[Griffin]

Crack open a book together, and we're

[Stav]

trying to figure it out. Okay.

[Caller]

I don't know whether to be mad or not. So, yeah, I know my storytelling is fucked up and crazy. Hopefully that made sense. So you could just let me know if being mad at him is justified or not.

[Stav]

Not so.

[Griffin]

So crazy that people call a deer show. I know. It's a trade thing to say.

[Stav]

I know.

[Griffin]

Just, like, working through all that, and she's like, should I go to the doctor? Should I call a friend? I think Stavi first.

[Stav]

Right, Right.

[Griffin]

Throw that in the bucket. Okay. Sorry.

[Stav]

No, no, no, you're right. You're absolutely right. And thank God they do. So that. That's the lifeblood of this show, it's the engine. I understand how. How much we've been zapped of community and places to.

[Caller]

To.

[Stav]

To talk to a neighbor or trusted acquaintance that's gone instead just yell it into a tree. Yeah, that is. Right.

[Eldis]

It feels like these people trust you more than just running it through in their head one time.

[Stav]

And you know what?

[Griffin]

During the first basic logic experiment. Now, why would I have. Right.

[Stav]

I hope that a lot of. Because we're not going to get every call.

[Eldis]

Sure.

[Stav]

I hope that it's kind of the first step because when you say things out loud sometimes.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Stav]

It clarifies it for you.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Because I've had that with people who have called in and you kind of even sense.

[Griffin]

You hear them process, figure it out

[Stav]

as they explain it.

[Eldis]

She just realized for the first time that she's married to her husband that just came.

[Griffin]

Married to my house. I am married to my husband. I thought she was about to say for how long?

[Stav]

20 years.

[Griffin]

And then she's like, for one year. And I'm like, okay, so it's, you know, it's in memory.

[Stav]

Yeah. So. So basically what's happened here? Hopefully.

[Eldis]

Hopefully.

[Stav]

Here's the read.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

I guess. And it seems like they are. It doesn't seem like she has any worries about cheating. Like immediately where it goes to my head is like, oh, he's been getting new cold sores and now I have herpes on my. It's like the fact that she didn't immediately go, oh, she's not going right there. My husband cheated on. If you really. If this guy just has had cold sores on his mouth his whole life. Yeah. And you as a couple. Yeah. It's eating the clock regardless. You know what I mean? Is it.

[Griffin]

These things can happen.

[Eldis]

That demands a question that is. That feels like that's the one. One step that's being skipped over is if what did contact happen right between those body parts?

[Stav]

Yes.

[Eldis]

Within a window of time. But she also says that she has had.

[Stav]

She gets cold. So I guess if this is not a situation where you are scared that you've been cheated on and this is fresh herpes from someone outside of your marriage. And it's just the fact that you and your husband both get cold sores on the mouth and now they've transferred to your. That's tough. Go to a doctor.

[Eldis]

Yeah, right.

[Stav]

See, you know, if it's. I believe they are different types. Even if you think so, you get them on both parts and yeah. One, one. This outbreaks are more serious. I don't know. But as long as you are not scared of cheating and I hopefully I didn't just put this in your head and. And you didn't at all. Then this is. I feel like you up here.

[Griffin]

If she's calling in isn't it like a 5% fear of cheating? Like there's like at least three the the ambient. But it does. You're right. It doesn't sound like she's like. And also there's a weird thing on his credit card bill or also he keeps sending weird text. I don't know.

[Eldis]

My read is if she already had any pre existing fear of cheating, right. This would be viewed as this is it. Unfortunately, here's some evidence stacked onto that. Right. And her calling is almost post. Am I crazy for just dismissing this purely as physically. Do I need to say this out loud? Right Test am I worried about cheating? And it felt like in her being like one year married to my husband, maybe it is fine.

[Stav]

Right.

[Eldis]

Maybe I'm not worked up about.

[Stav]

Right.

[Griffin]

How many callers do you get though where the answer is just like oh, you should go see a doctor. See you later.

[Stav]

Like you know every call, right?

[Griffin]

Including FYI, I'm not a doctor. I can't Google some for every call.

[Stav]

Every call it's like go to a doctor, lawyer, psychiatrist. It's one of those three. It should not be me but you know, we try and within those at least push them in the right one of those three to go to.

[Eldis]

And you haven't had a turn yourself into the police immediately called.

[Stav]

No, no, no, no, no. I think Eldis knows good enough. There was one where we had to cut because someone was like straight up discriminating against their tenants. We had to just cut that.

[Eldis]

You had Hannibal Bur.

[Stav]

He's like, did you watch Broad City or not? Oh, looks like somebody's rent is getting jacked up. So look, if this is simply should me. Should my husband have been more careful about getting his mouth herpes on my fucking pussy, then listen. Yes, and you can be a little annoyed, but it takes two to tango, sister. You both know what the fuck is up.

[Griffin]

And if it's a contained. If it's just the two, I don't know.

[Eldis]

And if you're not cheating, have like a lifelong proclivity towards cold sore.

[Stav]

Yeah, that's just.

[Eldis]

You're just playing with fire.

[Stav]

If you're. In fact, I say if you're with someone. I've had a friend who was dating somebody with herpes and had to wear a condom every Time with his wife.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I think that's.

[Stav]

That's insane, right? That her get herpes. If you know you're gonna. Yeah, if you know. And look, that is one of those

[Griffin]

things where like everyone has it or something.

[Stav]

Yes. I think in general, the herpes, but

[Griffin]

then it's like there's the different kinds.

[Stav]

I think in general it's like way overblown and it's. Even when you have it, it's like you can, you know, you can get medicine or whatever. It's not that big a deal. But in this case, if your question is, should I be mad at my husband? Yeah, I guess. But also you have him. You let him eat your pussy with the cold sore. You thought you were bulletproof. You know what I mean? And it's just not true. You know, Maybe she should be mad

[Griffin]

at him anyway, though, just about something else.

[Stav]

Yeah, nag him. I would say now that you're married, stop having sex. Sex with him. Because that's what you're. That's how you behave. What's your problem having sex with your husband after marriage? Haven't you seen sitcoms? You've seen. According to Jim, you have to only trade. You. You have to trade. You have to use as a weapon in a marriage.

[Eldis]

And only during a sweeps week.

[Stav]

And only.

[Griffin]

Yeah, right, right.

[Stav]

Come out in a teddy that like covers all your ankles. What they thought was sexy on a network sitcom is so good.

[Griffin]

Still standing.

[Stav]

Oh, yeah. Oh, big elders is a big still standing fan.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Guest]

Oh, yeah. Wait, which one was that? Was that.

[Stav]

That was the one.

[Griffin]

That was the one with the. The King from Game of Thrones. Right?

[Eldis]

Yeah. Mark Addy. Mark Addie the second.

[Stav]

Oh, that's the one I liked you like the one with Elvis was a huge.

[Griffin]

CBS was just like, keep making those. I don't give a. We need one on every night.

[Guest]

Yeah, it was so bad. I just remember, like I would watch it after school. They'd show reruns at like 3pm Bro.

[Stav]

You watch it during college. You would throw it on.

[Guest]

College, know, high school, college. I definitely.

[Stav]

It was in the rotation.

[Guest]

It was just easy to watch. It went down easy.

[Stav]

Eldest, eldest, love that. Everybody Loves Raymond and.

[Griffin]

Okay, so here's my question, cuz. All right. I literally.

[Stav]

Still standing or. No, no. Yes. Dear back and forth.

[Griffin]

A cooworker asked me because she was sort of writing about the like the. The heyday of the Apatow kind of like was with a hot girl.

[Stav]

I am a movie.

[Griffin]

But she summons me over and she's like, okay, okay. So, like, obviously there's examples.

[Stav]

If you have somebody who wants to talk about. About hot women, fat guy, I should send her my way.

[Griffin]

I start calling like, well, yeah, because there was like, according to Jim. Yes, dear. Still standing.

[Stav]

And she's like, okay, Queens.

[Griffin]

King of Queens being. That's the one she was citing, right? King. And I was like, yes, people know that one. Then she was like, does Raymond count, like, in term? And I was like, not really.

[Stav]

Like, Raymond's kind of hot. It's a completely different story.

[Eldis]

Everybody loves him.

[Stav]

In fact, his family is the fatness. Like the. The like.

[Griffin]

Like Peter Boyle and Doris Roberts and all that.

[Stav]

The whole idea. Idea is that the man is, like, underneath the woman and she has to deal with him. But also it's like this. This. This sort of, like, message, this implicit message that, like, this is what relationships look like. The woman has to settle. She has to put up with this woman dork.

[Griffin]

She's gotta be a doofus.

[Stav]

Boss. Fat doofus. Easily, physically, she's putting up with this horrific body. He's fucking stupid. Stupid with Raymond. He's got a good job. He's like a good sports writer. There's never money problems in that family. They're all, in fact.

[Griffin]

And they have, like, 80 kids.

[Stav]

Yeah, it's. His family is the thing she has to over.

[Eldis]

They're the weight.

[Stav]

They are the weight. They're the stupidity.

[Griffin]

That's why it's a better show than the. The.

[Stav]

According to a more complex show.

[Eldis]

Yeah, the best.

[Stav]

Yeah, it's a good show. Yeah, it is very good. Yeah, I loved it, obviously, but it was never my. Like, maybe because I was a fat doofus. I just loved Give Me a Fat Guy getting pussy from a hot. I mean, king of Queens. I have a joke in my act about it, too, where it's like, it really was. I don't want to go into it too much, but it was like, those shows are bad for fat children.

[Griffin]

They're really. They're giving you way too high expectations. Just around the corner.

[Eldis]

Gonna horseshoe all the way back through that door.

[Stav]

But that's what I assumed was happening. Maybe if I. You know. Anyway, so that's the answer. Give us another question.

[Sponsor]

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[Stav]

Nice.

[Sponsor]

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[Stav]

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[Eldis]

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[Caller]

Hey, St. Jay from Canada.

[Stav]

What's up?

[Caller]

Big can I got a little bit of a dilemma. Been with the wife almost 10 years now.

[Stav]

Okay.

[Caller]

We're thinking about having kids. One problem I have, I have to tell her to do her chores around the house like a kid. Like, I'm the only one that's thinking, oh, well, I'm done with the plate. I should probably take the plate out of the living room, bring it to the kitchen.

[Stav]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Caller]

I should probably, like, I don't know, wash the pot while it's still warm so the stuff is us. Oh, I'm the only one in the house that does her laundry once a week.

[Stav]

Damn, dude, relax. We're not her.

[Caller]

Should. Should we have a larger conversation before we have yeah. Or is this like. Is this because this has been a thing? I don't know what to do, man.

[Griffin]

Respect.

[Caller]

Also, for your information, very perky H cups.

[Griffin]

Very perky.

[Stav]

Well, there. There's your answer right there, pal. You want her fucking doing chores of those heavy ass tits strapped to her chest? Dude, what do you want? You want to have back problems or you want to enjoy those big fucking hangers? If your tits are so big, she could take it easy on the chores. Actually, that's actually really instructive advice. That actually really does change my. My opinion here. Perky H's brother. That's fucking he. Hold on. You listen. You got to do a little extra febrezing, a little extra Swiffering with those fat tits in your life. I think that's a fair trade off.

[Eldis]

You are glowing right now. I see you picturing them and there's

[Stav]

a sparkle on your eyes. Speaking of my. I'm like, dude, I'm thinking if I had a wife with huge tits like this, I'm like, I'm hiring a Cleaning lady and my huge titted wife. That's the solution. But look, I see the. Even in Canada, the economy is not so hot, so we'll maybe not room

[Griffin]

in the budget for a shorter.

[Stav]

I got it.

[Griffin]

I got it.

[Stav]

Okay, so let first of all shout out to her. I love when we have a sloppy woman. They don't really get representation. I mean.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Stav]

I mean, on paper, this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She sounds a lot like me.

[Eldis]

I'm also like, I want to watch this sitcom.

[Stav]

Yeah, it is a good sitcom because we flipped it. We have flipped it. Yes.

[Eldis]

Maybe we need to do the Queen of Kings.

[Stav]

Yeah. Kings County.

[Eldis]

County.

[Stav]

She's in Brooklyn. Nobody knows. Yeah, look it up, folks. It's actually Kings County. Which is it? Yeah, it's a great name.

[Griffin]

Kings County.

[Stav]

It's kind of wasted on Brooklyn, cuz. Brooklyn. So Brooklyn gets two good names.

[Griffin]

Two awesome names.

[Stav]

You never call it Kings County Kings probably. You probably have some like, really annoying burger restaurant that's just like Kings County Provisions. You know what I mean? Like that probably exists. Anyway. Anyway, back to the matter at hand.

[Eldis]

Here you are as. As the father. This feels like a question you should really field in terms of the attitude of.

[Griffin]

I would say so. Right.

[Stav]

And what. What did. Going into having. Yeah, yeah. Kids.

[Griffin]

Like, number one, you should build a bridge of communication with your wife. Clearly this guy needs to talk to.

[Stav]

Like, this is pissing off. So pissed off.

[Griffin]

You can hear he's gr.

[Stav]

Oh, let's Maybe while the pan's still warm. It's like, we don't need that level of specifics.

[Eldis]

He's seething.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

Like, all right, They've been married 10 years.

[Eldis]

Years.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

So do they get married young or something?

[Stav]

Like, I guess.

[Griffin]

Okay. Because like, probably about. Just. They're just starting to think about having kids.

[Stav]

Like, it sounds like he's probably somebody already. Like, if I had to guess, somebody gets married in their mid-20s, they're in their mid-30s, and they're like, hey, it's. Or get off the pot time. When it's. They're probably making the decision of are we going to have kids or not? Is kind of how I read the situation.

[Griffin]

So I think, like, have kids, you should go for it. Why not? What else are you going to do?

[Stav]

Sure.

[Griffin]

Maybe have a few conversations just to.

[Eldis]

Just.

[Griffin]

Just conversations. I'm not saying she needs to start doing chore.

[Stav]

Right.

[Griffin]

I just think this guy maybe needs to talk to his wife.

[Stav]

I think. Yes. In general. The bigger thing out of all this. I think you're right. Is. Yes. Talk about the. I think, I think it's fair to talk about like chore stuff. Sure. But more important, it's talk about when stuff pisses you off.

[Griffin]

That's it.

[Sponsor]

You have.

[Griffin]

You need to be able to address whatever elephants in the room.

[Stav]

Because kids, you're worried about your house being messy. You should be even more worried about. About like the, like, you know, the metaphorical messiness of your relationship.

[Griffin]

Yes.

[Stav]

If you throw kids into the mix and you can't even tell your wife you're annoyed at her. How she like the distribution of chores. It's been a decade. Yeah. And you haven't brought it up. That's way harder to bring kids into than like having to having clean up a little bit. Yeah.

[Griffin]

But the second thing is if mess pisses you off this much, which might be what's going on with this guy.

[Stav]

True.

[Griffin]

If you have kids, your house is going to be messy.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

So like get ready for that.

[Stav]

I guess.

[Griffin]

I don't know.

[Stav]

That's a good point.

[Griffin]

Like the dishes won't get done as fast. Like if there's a kid around.

[Stav]

Of course.

[Eldis]

Pot every night.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You're. You're just.

[Stav]

Probably just eating out of the pot. A perpetual pot of Mac and cheese. Oh yeah.

[Griffin]

That's what I should, I should have a cauldron.

[Stav]

Should have a cauldron.

[Griffin]

Right. Every night. Annie's for everybody.

[Eldis]

I think think all the time about the sort of follow up profile on Marie Condo like a year or two ago.

[Griffin]

Uhhuh. Where now that she has kids.

[Eldis]

Kids.

[Griffin]

And she's like, Jesus Christ.

[Eldis]

I don't know what.

[Griffin]

The hurricane hit my house.

[Eldis]

Truly. There it was after. There was a photo of her surrounded with all over the floor. And she's like, that was a cute idea.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

Well, yeah.

[Eldis]

And I understood that say goodbye to

[Griffin]

your T shirt like when you throw it away.

[Stav]

But that, that is. I put my grandmother's ashes in a landfill because of you. Mary Condo didn't bring me joy. Now you have eight hello kitties plushies on your couch. That's very funny too because it's like I do. I read into that too. And it's like, that's clear. That just did not take that she was not successful in Japan. Yeah. Because it was. I think it was just like people not understanding Japan and being like, well, we must honorably clean our homes. Like those samurai. Like that. That was kind of the vibe when she was coming around.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

And like in Japan they're like, everyone's a hoarder. They don't really give a fuck. Like, truly. They were like, this is so. That's funny to hear. I didn't even know that. Even she herself was like, that was. Yeah. When did that come out?

[Eldis]

There was like a year or two ago, if you can find this.

[Stav]

No, that was long ago.

[Eldis]

Oh, the original.

[Stav]

The original. Yeah.

[Eldis]

The theory was, like, 10 years ago, right?

[Stav]

Was it?

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

I remember when.

[Stav]

I mean, I remember her sweeping the nation. I was 20.

[Guest]

19.

[Stav]

19, yeah. Okay.

[Griffin]

So not even 10 years ago.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

I was, I was still living in bedside because I remember my girlfriend now. Wife. Wife, like, did the thing. She's like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna open every drawer. I'm gonna say goodbye to the sweaters. Like, I'll give them a hug and then throw them away.

[Stav]

Yeah, I think I could use. I do come from a long line of hoarders.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

Like my. On my dad's side. My aunt loves little figurines from Europe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad is kind of a hoarder. Like, we. And I have it in. I feel, Feel it. So what is it for you?

[Griffin]

Like, what do you want to hoard?

[Stav]

I, I, I mean, probably once we started on the bus, you, as movie guys, you'll appreciate this. We have a type of movie that is a bus movie. And so it's like, it can't be too good.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Stav]

And it's not. Sometimes they're Blu Rays, but mostly they're just lo.

[Eldis]

I notice you have a big stack of DVDs primarily. Are these the bus movies?

[Stav]

Those are bus movies we have. I also have a separate thing of, like, actually good movies.

[Caller]

Sure.

[Stav]

I can see myself just kind of collecting that. But it's. Dude, it's just, just. I just have sent. I attach sentimental value to.

[Eldis]

Sure.

[Stav]

You know what I mean? And it's just like a hard. Where I'm like, I can't throw this away. Yeah. I had a good time in this shirt eight years ago. And someday I might lose a hundred pounds and fit into it.

[Griffin]

I have that. I have the aspirational clothes. Are you like, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fit in this jacket.

[Stav]

There's a garage in Queens with Ford plastic tubs, hubs of, like, tracksuits, from, like, 5xL to 1x, where it's like, I wonder where I'll be next winter. You know what I mean?

[Griffin]

It's like, where I'm like, yeah. People, like, look like they did when they were 20 again, all the time

[Stav]

when they grow Older, Right.

[Griffin]

Like, I'm like, I don't know.

[Stav]

At least you will before you know it be giving that to your children. Yeah, I have no. I have nothing. I have nowhere to give them to.

[Eldis]

Like a university.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll give you. Yeah, I'll. I'll lend some of my tracksuits. Like, when you're getting bariatric surgery.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

And it's like, they need. Like, if. If the hospital gown doesn't fit you, I have some tracksuits you can wear preparing for. Although I guess, you know, I will say if Ozempic and the. And GLP1s in general have done anything, they've kind of stolen the stomach stapling, the. The. Oh, yeah. The. That's gone. Surgery.

[Griffin]

Do you want major surgery? You want to just, like, do this?

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe that is.

[Eldis]

Those have become, like, BlackBerry phones.

[Stav]

Yeah, I know. I feel bad for the people that got. Like, there's one last guy that got bariatric surgery as this epic was happening.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

Yeah. Sorry for those guys. All right. I think we answered. Oh, yeah, that's. Yeah. Have some communication. Sounds like you're mad as. Also, like, couples.

[Griffin]

There nothing wrong with it.

[Stav]

Also, you might just have. You might be the cleanup guy. Yeah, yeah. Like, look, that's the thing.

[Griffin]

Sometimes it breaks down that way.

[Stav]

No matter what relationship I'll ever be in or whoever. Like, I will. I. Even when I'm trying my hardest, I am an insanely messy person.

[Eldis]

Same.

[Stav]

And the first thing I did, like, like, there was one month where my therapist went on vacation, and I just put that money towards a cleaning lady, and I was like, this is so much more helpful to me than, like, talking.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

It's like. And so, like, to me, that was a thing I did even before things were like, when I. When I had room roommates, I was like, guys, I know I'm not gonna. I just know. I am not.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

So how about every, like, twice a month, I'll pay for a clean lady? And it was just like. Because I just know I don't have awareness.

[Eldis]

Negotiating the balance of. Like, if this is my zone, then what are the things you're doing?

[Stav]

Yeah. You know, I think we know. I think we know what his wife's bringing to the table.

[Eldis]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Stav]

No, but.

[Eldis]

Yes, obviously, but, like, maybe it's not like this is a relationship that can ever be built around a chore.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Maybe you are the other things.

[Stav]

There's other divisions of labor.

[Griffin]

Yeah. You've got. You've got. Again, this is why communication is key. Because it's like, yes, fundamentally, he probably doesn't want her cleaning the bathroom or whatever because she's not going to do the job.

[Stav]

I've had those relationships or just even friendships where it's like a relationship. Roommates situations where they're like. Where I did clean to the best of my. Exactly. And then you have different was bad. And it's like, all right, we'll get off my dick.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

I wasn't even half asking it. I did try. Right. It's not my fault. You take a toothbrush to the grout and it's like, I'm not doing that.

[Eldis]

And I think that's a question you should ask yourself. Is the thing that's making you mad more that you feel like you're forced to do all of this by default or that you. You are made angry by the mess?

[Stav]

Do you think?

[Eldis]

Right. Is it. Is it that the responsibilities on you or is it the existence of the mess?

[Stav]

Every mess. Is her like insulting you or are

[Eldis]

you just someone who stresses out when you see a mess? In which case then you ask bigger

[Griffin]

kids or you just say perky age

[Eldis]

cups, which used to be like his

[Stav]

little over and over. That's. That would work. That's not a bad mantra. I think I. I don't think I could get a lot of meditation done if I'm just taking a big fat tits. Or I would. Or I would just be smiling so much maybe that I'll try that tomorrow.

[Eldis]

I'm blowing again.

[Stav]

Hit us with another question. Little ld.

[Caller]

I got this new job and I'm having some issues with work. My boss's boss and his team are in Australia and whenever we get on one of these zoom calls, I actually have. Have a lot of difficulty understanding what they're saying. I'm always asking them to clarify and repeat themselves and now they think I'm a total idiot.

[Stav]

Right.

[Caller]

I don't understand anything and they keep taking responsibilities away from me. So I don't know what to do. Should I speak up and say that it's really just. I don't understand their accent? Or should I just say funny, take less responsibility.

[Stav]

I actually do have an answer.

[Caller]

Have a good time.

[Stav]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Caller]

Thanks so much.

[Stav]

I. I know what I'm thinking. Please, go ahead.

[Eldis]

Zoom sucks. This is a Zoom issue.

[Griffin]

I mean, because I think.

[Stav]

I think this. The solution is. You need to watch Australian media.

[Griffin]

That's exactly what I was going to say.

[Stav]

Just a diet.

[Griffin]

Just watch a ton of.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You need to train your Brain. But I also think maybe, like. Like find a pipeline to more email communication.

[Griffin]

Yeah, I mean, sure, sure. I mean, he also slips in there, like, should I just accept less responsibilities? And I'm like, I mean, maybe sounds okay.

[Stav]

Yeah. You're kind of living the corporate dream where it's like.

[Griffin]

Where they're like. And he's like, what? And they're like, don't even worry.

[Eldis]

But, like, Zumo trilogy.

[Stav]

He can't hear anything on the Zumo.

[Griffin]

Have you been down there? Have you, like, done Very.

[Stav]

We did a. We did a cometown tour a long time ago. And I want to go back. I wanted to go back this year, but it just didn't work out. I'm gonna figure out a way to, like, I need a year of my life where I spend. I have no winter whatsoever, so I

[Griffin]

think I'm gonna just, like, stack summers across hemispheres.

[Stav]

I'm not even kidding. I might go maybe. I don't want to say anything. I don't want to get Australia too fucking pumped up. But I'd love to go. Maybe next week. Winter. Like, I'd love to spend, like, December. They're summer. Yeah. Yeah. Or even I went. We went in October, and it was really nice, so maybe like, November. But the fall in New York is so nice that I feel like. I feel like January. February in Australia might be.

[Griffin]

I mean, we just. January, February just sucked here. Like, that.

[Stav]

That's.

[Griffin]

I love New York so much, but, like, dude, those are the indefensible months.

[Eldis]

This was Loser.

[Stav]

This was the one year I wasn't on tour too. Yeah, well, I was, but in. In this part of the.

[Griffin]

In the north. Northeast. Right.

[Stav]

It's like, in the past, I've been on the West Coast. Like, last year we were on the West Coast. It was awesome. Like, we bare. We needed light jackets most of it. It was so nice.

[Griffin]

It's so nice today. It's gonna be cold again soon.

[Stav]

Yeah. No, dude, believe me, the nice days in New York I've spent shooting or podcasting for nine hours a day.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

Sucks.

[Eldis]

But I think you're right. It's the broadest, most cartoony Australian.

[Stav]

Yes.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Griffin]

Don't watch the subtle art house stuff. You need to watch. Watch, like, crocodile.

[Stav]

I think you need a range, I think, where people are whispering.

[Eldis]

But I also, you know, stream stuff so that they sound really kind of direct and clean to you, you know, And. And then I also think, like, even,

[Stav]

like, Australian TV you don't even know about.

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Griffin]

Sketch comedy, whatever. Like, find whatever's you know, who's that?

[Eldis]

Who's serious?

[Stav]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Griffin]

What was that show where it's like a guy dressed up as like a high school student.

[Stav]

Oh, summer high school.

[Griffin]

Isn't that Australian? It's New Zealand. I don't want to paint with a broad brush.

[Stav]

New Zealand.

[Eldis]

I think that guy's Australian. And he has several shows.

[Stav]

There's a lot of him.

[Guest]

Right.

[Eldis]

All of them feature at most only two blackface characters.

[Griffin]

It is one of those things. Stuff travels from another country. And they're like, this is our humor. And you're like, yeah, interesting.

[Stav]

Oh, no, Mr. In between. Is that Australian? Is that New Zealand too? That was good.

[Eldis]

I watched that wasn't the last wood dog show. Australian.

[Stav]

Listen, find some Australian media and watch Wilfred Wilford. Wilfred.

[Griffin]

Yeah, get on it. We're doing Peter Weir on our podcast right now. And those early movies, his are Australian.

[Eldis]

They're good, Very Australian.

[Stav]

What are the early ones?

[Griffin]

It's like Gallipoli and cars. They have Picnic at Hanging Rock.

[Stav]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. I've just heard the last wave.

[Griffin]

Like all that. And then he like goes to Hollywood and is a king, like, just. But doesn't do Australian.

[Stav]

Yeah, they love Australians. Love pretending they were American the whole time.

[Griffin]

They're so.

[Stav]

They're so like, they just. Im like, honestly, Hemsworth is the only one who's really kept the accent. They all lose the accent.

[Griffin]

Lost it.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

The Mel thing is crazy. Especially watching his.

[Griffin]

Nothing else about him is crazy. It was so regular.

[Stav]

But it is funny because it's like he really feels like an American racist now. Yes. He like embraces it crazy. Which is like, he has because like, Australians are also very racist, but they're a different type of racist. He's a classic American.

[Eldis]

Made him such a mega star as he figured out how to synthesize both.

[Stav]

He did.

[Eldis]

He did the Australian and the American racism. Yeah.

[Stav]

Really a shame we had to lose. I mean, dude, honestly, you want Mel back.

[Eldis]

The.

[Stav]

The. I'm telling you this whatever is like Passion of the Christ 2. He's going to make. It's going to destroy.

[Eldis]

It's going to destroy because like, a

[Stav]

Kevin Sorbo movie will make $100 million return of the. It's gonna be insane.

[Griffin]

He's identified a healthy market. He probably should have gotten it out like last year. Like, I like, maybe it's curdling, but I think he.

[Eldis]

Isn't it a two parter recast.

[Griffin]

K. It is also funny that he's like part two.

[Stav]

I Don't think it's a two part.

[Eldis]

I think it is the continuation. And he's announced it's now a two part.

[Griffin]

But it's Christ back, right? Christ back.

[Eldis]

He's back bigger than ever.

[Stav]

I mean, honestly, the stor. The. Some of the biblical stuff about, like, the one, The Messiah the Jews thought they were going to get. Sounds awesome. Yeah. Like, to me, I'm like, I want to see the movie of the Messiah that comes from hell.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

Kills the devil, right. And then comes up and just decapitates the road.

[Eldis]

Like, that's classic Mel Gibson, that kind of character.

[Stav]

It would be awesome if he did that. And I just would love to see that movie. That's an interesting movie to me.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

But I'm telling you, Mel is gonna go, this one is gonna do numbers. There's no way. It's not. Yeah, because all that slop. He's. Whatever you want to say about him, he's a. I mean, his. His revenge crime movies.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Are awesome. They're so good.

[Eldis]

He is a good.

[Stav]

Him and him and Vince Vaughn being Republican cops.

[Griffin]

Oh, dude, what's a Dragged Across Concrete? Yeah, that movie. That movie's really awesome. Really weird.

[Stav]

Like, they're all weird because they're. They're all weird because they also go through pains to be like, we're actually not racist. We're like, my best friend is a black guy who I listen to jazz. Like, they all listen to jazz or blues or some.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Stav]

And then they, like, they, like, beat up every ethnicity.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

You know what I mean?

[Eldis]

Right. I actually just hate humanity.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, those are bangers. Those are bad. Like, I. And I, like, there's nothing wrong with enjoying fascist filmmaking.

[Eldis]

We.

[Stav]

I mean, so what Cobra, That's f.

[Eldis]

We've covered so many movies. He's in as an actor, and you are just like, that guy is so captivated and part of it, like, caged Animal mania in him in the Darkness and everything.

[Griffin]

The deal with Cobra is that's when Sly's gonna be in Beverly Hills Cop. And when.

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Griffin]

And when he's, like, working on the scri. He's like, so I'll be in it. So I think Beverly Hills Cop should, like, blow criminals faces off a ch. They're like, oh, we're going for more of a comedy thing. He's like, oh, that's cool. I'm gonna turn this into co Cobra.

[Eldis]

He quits Beverly Hills Cop.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Eldis]

Less than two months before it starts filming. Everyone else had been cast, crew, staff, everyone Else.

[Stav]

Yeah. I didn't know that.

[Griffin]

Truly.

[Eldis]

And then he's like, fine, we're on different pages. I'll go take my notes and make something else.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And Cobra was like, here's all the.

[Stav]

I wanted Beverly Hills equally iconic movies, but like to me.

[Eldis]

But Eddie Murphy only ends up in that because they've built a movie that crazy to go. And they're like, I don't know, we're watching daily.

[Stav]

And how is better? I mean, that's. That's the perfect. I mean, and that's what it takes to get that famous things have to really break a certain way. Yeah. Right place, right time. Now let me ask you this. You guys might know about the. Is the Cobra director's cut anywhere? Is the Cobra Stallone? Because he. You don't know this.

[Eldis]

No, I do know that he turned

[Stav]

in a three hour cut of Cobra. Yeah. And if you watch the movie, it kind of makes sense because the movie. Yeah. They don't ever go back to it. Yeah. But it is cool. Anyway, I love Cobra. It's crazy.

[Eldis]

That movie is his drafts folder. It's every loose idea he had that got rejected from a different.

[Stav]

Different movie. Yeah, yeah.

[Griffin]

No, I, I did, but I would

[Stav]

love to see the. Yeah, I don't think it exists.

[Griffin]

But he did the Rocky thing.

[Eldis]

The Rocky recut.

[Griffin]

But the Rocky recut's weird.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

Where he takes the robot out.

[Stav]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Eldis]

I don't like the school.

[Stav]

And I'm like, who cares?

[Eldis]

Isn't that kind of fun? That Polly robot.

[Stav]

Yeah, that is fun. That's fun. It also puts it in the play. In the like time of it.

[Griffin]

Yeah, but it's a lot. The Stallone movies have a little more of that edge to them, whereas the Arnie movies. Movies don't as much like. And I love the Arie movies, but like, they don't really have a political edge. It's more just like, look at this guy.

[Stav]

No, they don't. In fact, aren't. I mean, by working with Verhoven, it's almost like. It's almost like anti fascist. I mean, the thing about. I mean, he literally. His dad was a Nazi. So it's like, I think where Stallone is like a Italian who wants to be fascist. Exactly.

[Griffin]

Whereas Arnie's like, that is bad. Like I. I escaped that. I'm not interested in that. I want to be a sort of centrist Republican governor.

[Stav]

Mansion is come to my

[Eldis]

bills.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Arnie has the thing where he was like, I want to hand myself over to good directors. Something to say the man has trust them.

[Stav]

It's so. Yeah. It is the thing where you're like, what if a guy who looks like this was smart as and shrewd as. And usually it does a guy that looks like that. But he. If anything, his biggest talent is understanding like how, how he's perceived, where he

[Griffin]

fits in, how to use against type and.

[Stav]

And like he's, he's. I mean he's on a run where his taste is unbelievable. And I think having good taste is what really makes him. And also it makes it clear like why he could achieve anything.

[Eldis]

Totally.

[Stav]

Because he knew who to surround himself with no matter what. But yeah.

[Eldis]

And then Stallone is like, I know better than everyone respects wildly.

[Griffin]

It's like sometimes you got it, man.

[Eldis]

These are all personal expression.

[Stav]

But I respect that as an. I mean. And it also is nice to see. Yes. You can be a juice head. Italian. Italian. And truly be an artist.

[Griffin]

Yeah. Which he is.

[Stav]

Everyone can be an artist. Every type of person.

[Griffin]

And Van Damme is you just like. As they get more famous, you just watch the guardrails go away and it gets worse.

[Stav]

Like.

[Griffin]

And it's just like uniform. There's no like, oh, there's a good one later. They're like, no, no less people say no more people say yes. Yeah, the movies get dumber.

[Stav]

Is there one good late Van Damme any. At any point?

[Griffin]

I think the later Van Dammes are kind of weird and he's got kind of a weird line.

[Eldis]

Day of Reckoning. Have you seen that movie? Yeah.

[Griffin]

Have you seen the Universal Soldier? Weird sequels.

[Stav]

Oh, but that's.

[Griffin]

That are straight to video with Scott Atkins and stuff.

[Eldis]

But that's the thing. They move him off of being the lead cuz he's older and the movie rules and he's incredible in.

[Stav]

I love Scott.

[Eldis]

It's him and Dolph back. It's a awesome movie.

[Stav]

Day of Reckoning. Oh, that sounds awesome. Now that's a bus movie if I've ever heard one.

[Griffin]

Yeah, that's a great bus.

[Stav]

Great, great stuff.

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[Stav]

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[Stav]

Okay, I forget that we just. We're going through tangent. Oh, yeah, watch Australian tv. Yeah, let's do a couple more. Here we got a man with three children he's got to get back to.

[Griffin]

That's true.

[Caller]

Hey, eldest Steve's guests. So my question today is about eating ass being what? In my early 20s, I was dating an older woman, getting ass one time, eating ass.

[Stav]

Oh, eating ass. Okay. That's why he had the childish giggle.

[Caller]

My early 20s, I was dating an older woman who ate my ass one time. And I was like, wow, this great. Never wanted something so much and not known until I received it. And over the years I dated around a little bit and I noticed when I noticed whenever I would date outside my race, this guy's Asian, they would always reciprocate the rim job. So if I black girl, Latinas, Asian girl, he's white, they would reciprocate. And now I've been in this relationship, Asian way.

[Stav]

I don't know if that makes me a race racist, but all my Asian friends have that specific laugh where they kind of interrupt themselves. Do you know what I mean?

[Eldis]

When they talk about the older women,

[Stav]

especially when they get a little embarrassed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Griffin]

For real.

[Stav]

I'm not even joking.

[Eldis]

There's so much going on in this.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so this guy, okay, so he's. When he, when he, he dated his race,

[Griffin]

he dated an older woman. She ate his ass.

[Eldis]

He didn't know he wanted it until it happened and it was so happy.

[Griffin]

Part two is later when he dated outside of his race, it would happen again. Both of them would.

[Stav]

Only non white race would reciprocate.

[Eldis]

They reciprocate, but no one said, he's initiating.

[Griffin]

And then they're like, I'll do it.

[Eldis]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Stav]

I will say you're not. I, I wouldn't even put it across racial lines. I don't think most women think a rim job is a reciprocal thing. I think they See getting their ass eaten as sort of eating pussy adjacent.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Stav]

And that. It's a slut. It's a specialty item on the men's oral sex side. But it's a. It's an add on. But it's a standard add on for a woman.

[Eldis]

Right. Like what.

[Stav]

Whereas for a man, it's like a whole other menu item.

[Eldis]

What's like the. The squid that has. It's like the menu item chance of killing you.

[Griffin]

Sure.

[Stav]

But yeah, right.

[Griffin]

Yeah. The uni or what? But like, it's a menu item. Like when you get to the restaurant and they're like, by the way, we do a sule. You have to order it now.

[Stav]

Right, right.

[Griffin]

It's like you need to announce this.

[Stav]

Like you need to do a little

[Eldis]

bit run out early.

[Stav]

Right?

[Griffin]

Exactly.

[Eldis]

We have to put in 30 minutes. Bring the sule.

[Griffin]

Order on us. When you're wrapping up, like, you make a choice. You need to build the Runway here

[Eldis]

even before you pick still or tap water, you know, like sparkling or bottle.

[Stav]

Let us know if you want this FL. Where for women getting their ass eaten feels like, hey, you can add fries for, you know, two bucks.

[Griffin]

Do that anytime.

[Stav]

So it makes. So far. So this all this all. It's not over. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Okay. We just had to take a break.

[Stav]

We just had to take a break.

[Caller]

I've been in this relationship with this girl for about four months and we're both white and I don't love it.

[Griffin]

Making it race reliant again.

[Stav]

I've in fact eldest. We don't want to dox anyone, but a white woman did eat your ass. Isn't that famously so?

[Guest]

Actually 2.

[Eldis]

One less famous than the other.

[Guest]

This was in the same kind of era, you know.

[Stav]

Yes, of course. I think.

[Guest]

I think part of that was like. Like it was 2015 when there was like a lot of ass eating mania.

[Stav]

It was. It was in the zeitgeist girls on hbo.

[Griffin]

I'm trying to think, like, what we like, did it cross over to mainstream media?

[Eldis]

Pre Trump optimism in the air.

[Griffin]

We can do anything.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest]

I feel like people were like feeling extra good about eating.

[Stav]

Ass eating was definitely in the culture. Yes.

[Guest]

And when it happened to me these two times, I mean, I was surprised because I didn't even ask for it or like, expect it, but I was like, hey, this is kind of cool. And, you know, I haven't really dipped my toes in the water since then.

[Stav]

I mean, you want to talk about. Those women are braver than the. Than the first responders. I Know, eating your ass unannounced, dude.

[Eldis]

Chernobyl.

[Guest]

It made me feel so much more secure about my ass and hygiene because I was like. I was like, I would never.

[Griffin]

If it's inviting ass.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Guest]

Like, I'd be like, put the bullet through my skull.

[Stav]

I'm not doing that. But they did it.

[Guest]

I was like, you know what? I do take care of myself.

[Stav]

I bathe.

[Guest]

I bathe thoroughly, especially in the ass area. And, yeah, what's wrong with eating my ass?

[Eldis]

You know, it upped your confidence a little bit.

[Stav]

Yeah, for sure.

[Eldis]

I also just want to call out after all your sort of like, ethnicity guessing. He says we're both white and gave it the full Nick W. Cold Elis. Why?

[Stav]

Why? All right, keep going.

[Caller]

Eldis already eating her ass, but she. She won't reciprocate. And, I mean, it's, you know, it's fair again, it's. It's whatever she wants to do, but at the same time, I kind of miss it. And. I don't know, I'm just looking for a way to politely ask for it and. And be patient and respectful about. About it.

[Stav]

Yeah, you're like, hey, you're white. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you full white? Really? Not like a Mexican grandparent. Nothing I would say. You want to trick. Oh, nice. Somebody's car alarm is going off. You could be like, oh, babe, you're. Oh, do you need a. You want a piece of gum? I actually have one between my ass cheeks. You can maybe put mints in your. Okay, well, first of all, I think hilarious. Whatever. Who gives a fuck? Fuck this podcast. Fuck this guy, too. I think. I do think that this is. You're. Him being so insistent about race is hilarious to me because it has nothing to do with it.

[Griffin]

It's nothing to do with it. As if we're gonna be like, ah, of course.

[Eldis]

This is anecdotal evidence.

[Stav]

It's completely anecdotal. And I would say, like. I would say that.

[Griffin]

I also don't like that he listed the races.

[Stav]

It's like, like a black girl, Korean girl, and a. Like, you know, I don't know. Whatever, whatever, you know, and like, a, you know, Ecuadorian woman ate your ass. That's three out of a billion or whatever the fuck. I think it has a lot more. I think some women see, women really get a pass on being homophobic. It never comes up a lot. Like, you can hide behind just being a woman, and you don't really have to, like, it's always surprising. I guess I'll put it this way, it's surprising when a woman's homophobic to us, to me anyway, because I guess it's like that's maybe weirdly misogyny where I'm like, oh, women are good, right? Yeah. You know, But I will say a lot of women, like, when push comes to shove, do think they might think it's gay to play with their man's ass, whereas it's the opposite. The more I've thought about this philosophically. You want your ass played with so bad, but you're so straight you won't go to the expert. You know what I mean? Like, because if you want just the feeling of your ass played with the best, go to a gay guy. Right. But that's. You're straight, so you want a woman to do it. Yeah.

[Eldis]

This is raising the key question for me though. I know this caller's question was how do I ask or bring it up exactly. I respond to your question with a question for you even. Is this the single most important thing in a relationship for you?

[Stav]

Right.

[Eldis]

Because the vibe in this call.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

That like, you have identified a thing that you are.

[Stav]

Right.

[Eldis]

Capable of being happy.

[Stav]

Does seem he needs to get his ass.

[Eldis]

I don't know if you're just putting too much emphasis on this and how you're framing it to us.

[Stav]

Yes.

[Eldis]

But if it's like a deal breaker, then that's a thing you got to work through and front load in who you're dating.

[Stav]

Made sure. Yeah. Find the kind of free. Find out eating free freaks.

[Eldis]

Four months ass

[Stav]

manhole.

[Griffin]

Four months. I feel like you can just build up to this.

[Stav]

Totally, totally.

[Griffin]

Four months isn't a long.

[Stav]

Four months is actually. I would say it's just a little late. I think three months is right where you start showing your true colors. You know what I mean?

[Griffin]

Like, you're so like, oh, it flipped over.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I think you can start amping up the. You're kind of in the window where it's still new enough that you. It doesn't have to be like, let's spice up spice. You can just be like debut enough where it's like, let's add. Let's add stuff to the thing.

[Eldis]

I think the ask is, have you ever before. I think it's a conversation about.

[Griffin]

That's actually a good call.

[Eldis]

Right. You're months in. It's like, so what is your sexual history outside of us? Together. Together.

[Griffin]

And what.

[Eldis]

And what race you like? What are things you like? And even maybe offer them up like

[Stav]

Give us a whole taxonomic race, break down, flip the menu.

[Eldis]

Yeah, but I think offer up the, like, are there things in the past you have liked them?

[Stav]

Yeah, Definitely want to get in the mix. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Right. Because you're talking about reciprocating, right? This is.

[Stav]

I mean, he's already eaten harass.

[Eldis]

I believe he has said that.

[Stav]

So if he's already eaten around, like, yeah, dude, look, you're just at the point now where you just talk about the stuff you want to talk about. And if you're in a relationship, it's like this is, this is kind of the window where you get to start. You've baked base.

[Eldis]

You've.

[Stav]

In three to four months, you've sort of established your baseline sexual compatibility. And now you get to. And in the first couple years after that is where you start showing what the regular menu is. And then after, you know, five, ten years is when you're like, let's just get wild.

[Griffin]

Yeah, right?

[Stav]

Let's get. Let's get. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

[Griffin]

We say this like, charlie, she said it on a podcast where they're like, you ever a guy? And he's like, have I ever flipped the menu?

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

It is the perfect metaphor for like a mostly straight guy who's like, but I've tried.

[Eldis]

But the funniest thing is he says this in this, like, interview leading up to the doc and the book coming out.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Eldis]

Gonna talk about sexual history. Well, he's trying to come up with like a quick kind of clean, hooky way to talk about it. Then I pull up the dock. 15 men menu minutes of metaphor.

[Griffin]

He stays on the menu.

[Eldis]

Metaphor. He's like, it's almost like, you know, when you're young, you're looking at appetizer and you're on to entrees. At a certain point, you want dessert? Dessert's not on the front of the menu.

[Stav]

You go to the taco truck outside. You put your. You go to the, you go to the bathroom of the taco place. There's a hole in it. You put your dick through the hole of the bathroom.

[Eldis]

You have a menu, it has items painted on the wall. But some things are off, man.

[Stav]

You.

[Griffin]

I just think this guy shouldn't jam on the gas.

[Stav]

You know what I mean?

[Griffin]

Like, if he is going to ask, just, just ask in a chill way. Like, do not do the sort of, like, by the way, it's life or death for me.

[Stav]

Totally, totally.

[Eldis]

Just don't be like, hey, what's the deal?

[Griffin]

Yeah, right.

[Stav]

Hey, I.

[Griffin]

Is it cuz you're White.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Sorry.

[Stav]

How about you eat my ass, honky?

[Eldis]

Don't say that.

[Stav]

Yeah, Mayo ass won't even eat my ass.

[Eldis]

I think we want to deracialize this

[Stav]

out of it. It is. I will. I want to. I want to say. That does. And look, you're not even talking to a guy who pretends sometimes there aren't stereotypes that are true. Okay. If this. If you had any leg to stand on, I would.

[Griffin]

My radar is not pinging.

[Stav]

There's just. This is not. I. You know, I'm not going to stop you from having a racist theory, but this particular one doesn't hold, brother. Or this one is not. This does not. You know, this doesn't. In fact, I would kind of think, if anything, there's plenty of white girl freaks out there that might want to go over the top with being freaky to sort of make them more interesting. I feel like you get that in a major city where it's like there is white guilt when a cool Brooklyn is so much that you have to pretend you're bi when you're not. How many girls from Connecticut pretend they're bi in their 20s because. Because they're like, I can't be someone from Republic with Republican parents that lives in Brooklyn that does. That has nothing about them. You know what I mean?

[Eldis]

That's my whole deal.

[Stav]

Yeah. Yeah. I think you have to. I think so anyway. I think your race science is wrong. But I do think you need to communicate with your girl and that you're not in any. This is normal. This is also not in the grand scheme of things. It's really not crazy. Now, worst case scenario, she's just like, not my thing. Right? Right. Yeah. You fucking be. How dare you ask me to do that? And that's a problem. Problem. But it's better that you find that out then.

[Griffin]

Then figure it out. Right? Figure it out. See how much of a deal breaker.

[Stav]

Right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Were they eating ass in England?

[Griffin]

I think so.

[Stav]

You moved back before you found out?

[Griffin]

I moved back when I was 22. Yeah. I was still. I was still like paddling in the pool.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

You're so bad at sex in college.

[Stav]

Totally.

[Griffin]

Like, it's just like.

[Stav]

Totally.

[Griffin]

No one's good.

[Stav]

No, no.

[Griffin]

We all think we're like, pretty good.

[Stav]

You're not getting the ass eating.

[Griffin]

Not in any finessed way.

[Caller]

Or.

[Stav]

What happens is in college you either have the worst sex of all time or. Because no one really knows what they're doing. I have friends who just went so far crazy Immediately that they. In a freaky way that they'll never get back to chasing it. They're like, oh, that was actually insane.

[Griffin]

Right?

[Eldis]

It's when you like accidentally kill an open mic.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You're like, do I just have all the answers?

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Eldis]

And then you just never have a set that could again.

[Griffin]

Absolutely.

[Eldis]

That happens before you get back around.

[Stav]

You don't know how good you have it or somebody just like, I like. There are girls who do porn that like the year before they decide to are just a girl at a dorm that finds a boyfriend and fucks him a hundred times. And there's a guy who's like, oh, I guess this is what it's gonna be like forever. Like, I had a friend from college who had a girlfriend who his first girlfriend ever demanded that he like chomp on her nipples. Like honk. You know what I mean? Like fucking the Mario fucking chom. Chomp the chain chomp. Why did I go right to chain chom? Yeah, yeah. Like chain chomping her. And dude, what do you think happened the second time he second woman, she's like, ah, what the is your problem? Why'd you bite my tits? He's like, sorry. The girl I had, the only girl I ever had sex with made it seem like this was pretty standard procedure.

[Eldis]

That's what you would describe as a faulty towers ending.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. That is a very British. Oh,

[Eldis]

yes, yes.

[Stav]

So, yeah. Talk about it. Good for you, man. We're happy you got your ass eaten. We're happy you got your ass eaten

[Eldis]

by that old lady you wanted.

[Stav]

Honestly, the first. That sounds like an awesome setup. When he was in his early 20s. He's dating an older woman. We need to like the age gap. The. The problem with the age gap. The score.

[Griffin]

December May romance.

[Stav]

It's. Look, we're not getting them out of society. Let's. Let's elevate the one that goes. Older woman, younger guy. Younger woman, older guy. It ain't going nowhere.

[Griffin]

It's washed.

[Stav]

That's right.

[Griffin]

It's not. You're right. That ain't.

[Stav]

That's what our. Listen, I hate to break it to you. That's like, we're not. That's a load bearing thing in our society. We're not curing that and. And living within a good world. Right. It's just not happening. But I think if we like, like, like a. Let's. Let's. Let's raise up MILF stock. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like why? And I think it's kind of happening. There's like, you know, there's some. There's some movies about it.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You know, but I. Jennifer Coolidge. Grammy.

[Stav]

Totally. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Jennifer. Yeah.

[Griffin]

We had, you know, Jennifer Coolidge is like hall of fame Milford. Like, she's like, she's the.

[Stav]

Yeah, exactly.

[Griffin]

Face you see in the museum.

[Eldis]

One of those things.

[Stav]

The MILF museum. I got a pat. I'm a member, dude. I'm a member of the mil. I get off. Like, I get half off.

[Eldis]

It's one of those crazy things to look it up and be like, was she 31?

[Griffin]

I know, she's not even that old yet. Totally.

[Stav]

But we do need to. To cure America of its like pedophilic desires when it comes to women and be like, yes. We need hot, like older ladies. Ladies are hot as shit. Yes. Like all into old, you know, middle age. And it's like, yeah. 22 year old dudes. You would. You would have a. This guy probably the summer of his life. Yeah. Getting his ass eaten by a divorcee who's seen it.

[Caller]

All.

[Stav]

Right. And I think we need. That's. That's how we solve. That's how. That's what we need to do with the age gorse discount is like. Yeah, whatever. Or age gap discourse. What the fuck did I say?

[Griffin]

You said age group discount.

[Stav]

The Aaron Taylor Johnson set up. Yes. We need to fucking. You know what I mean? We need to lionize that. That's beautiful. So anyway, that's. That's a solution.

[Griffin]

You're killing like three birds with one

[Stav]

stone at this point. Societally, we need more milfs to guys in their 20s, you know what I mean? Let's spread the age gap to the gals as well. Let's break the glass ceiling. Let's get you dick down. But by some recent college grads. That's right. You got something fun for us to go out on? Elvis.

[Eldis]

He's nodding confidently.

[Caller]

Hey, Savvy, eldest and guest. I was wanting your opinion on what is the acceptable time frame to move in with someone that you're in a relationship with.

Idiot.

[Stav]

I knew he was done with calls. Just a classic standard question that could go on anytime, any episode.

[Guest]

General philosophical.

[Stav]

You know, that's not what this call is. These calls are designed. We're about. This is where we're wrapping up.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Stav]

Oh, stop. I got pussy. I was a incel. And I got yesterday. And we all cheer and we move

[Griffin]

forward, the credits roll.

[Stav]

This is maybe the most generic question you could possibly. With your boyfriend. Boyfriend Is that really. Is that really what you came up with with fun question on the way out?

[Guest]

I had it in the holster.

[Stav]

Oh, you've been planning to do that? The last one was more fun, you idiot. The last one is funner than this one. Anyway, go ahead, we'll fit. We already started.

[Griffin]

I don't want to.

[Stav]

I don't want to take it away from this woman.

[Caller]

But then I feel like also on the other end of the spectrum, like, you could be waiting too long too. Like, is it crazy to wait like five years, 10 years? I don't know. Now, what is the general consensus on an acceptable time frame of being with someone before you move in together?

[Stav]

Okay. Really fun to discuss, but yeah, let's give her some.

[Griffin]

Big question is where do you live?

[Eldis]

Yeah. If you live in New York City, circumstantial qualifiers.

[Griffin]

You're going to get pushed into that.

[Stav]

Okay, I'm glad you brought this up because I actually feel the exact opposite.

[Griffin]

Okay, go ahead, hit me.

[Stav]

Where? I think you should probably, like, they're just gonna push you if you live somewhere expensive to move in together. Cause you say that, and I think that has actually torpedoed a lot of New York relationships.

[Griffin]

The classic speed bump, right?

[Stav]

Exactly.

[Griffin]

You're like, I guess we'll move in together. It'll be so cheap. We'll live in a place again. Then you're like, wait, we're 24. What the fuck?

[Eldis]

Are we gonna get married? How many New York apartments are not cohabitable for a couple? It's like, oh, now we're saving money. You're living with my roommate.

[Griffin]

I did.

[Eldis]

Did that sucks. I did that.

[Stav]

Really?

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Yeah. I mean, I remember maybe the darkest moments of Eldis's now wife's life was when she had to move into his room. Yeah. Cuz he had to go to Baltimore. Family emergency. And dude, she wanted to kill herself. Yeah. It was like. It was Liv. She was living in an apartment with eldest's dumbass best friend. Yeah.

[Guest]

She didn't love living in a three bedroom with four other people.

[Griffin]

Man, New York is so silly.

[Stav]

And then finally, for a moment, you, you. We all live together. Like there was like a four. How long was that? Like four months where we all were under the same roof.

[Guest]

Months.

[Eldis]

Five.

[Caller]

Six.

[Stav]

Six months maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it was like five people.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Remember that one time where it was like you, You. You and your wife. I had somebody over our. Our other roommate had somebody over our. The. The mysterious and elusive Big P was crashing and you had a cat and there was like nine souls in a three bedroom apartment. We were like, this is fucking up. Like that. That felt like we were living in a tenement.

[Eldis]

Yeah. I'll say that from a kind of flip perspective. I lived with a couple for like five years.

[Griffin]

Oh, wow, you did. That's right. You're in the third wheel.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

My best friend and I moved in together and right when a relationship started.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Eldis]

And it was like, they're staying over a lot right now. They're here all the time.

[Stav]

Right, right.

[Eldis]

Right down to second apartment, three of us on the lease together.

[Stav]

Wow. Okay.

[Eldis]

And it was great. And I don't want to be like, you know, they owe me that. Their relationship got stress test and now they're happily married with a kid.

[Griffin]

Right. They basically had like a gremlin.

[Stav]

They're like, let's have a kid so that we live with someone less annoying.

[Eldis]

Yes. They were like, if we've been through this, we can be parents.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah. This is horrible. Let's have a kid. So we have. So we can hang out with someone who plays with less action figures.

[Eldis]

Truly. No joke. But. But so like, to me, I'm like, well, I do think it strengthened their relationship in a certain way. It clarified it. But I also don't think that is a necessary stress test. And I don't think failing that test means the relationship was doomed without it. I think there are literally no.

[Stav]

You mean technically that can be so

[Eldis]

trying that they fuck things up. Especially if you're in expensive cities.

[Stav]

That's what I mean. That's my point. Is that like. Yes, you're technically right, that trying it and it doesn't working doesn't technically doom a relationship. No, but effectively I think it does.

[Griffin]

If you move in together and then you move. Yeah, it's over.

[Stav]

Even if you try and keep it alive. It's like it's. It would. You'd have to break up and fully like become different people and meet up again years later.

[Griffin]

That might work. But you are admitting that you rolled the dice too early.

[Eldis]

There's lifestyle stuff of like, does one person live closer to their workplace than the other? How's this thrown off commutes, all these things that can change.

[Stav]

So generally speaking, does she give any specifics about her situation?

[Griffin]

No, she was really just like, should I wait five to 10 years?

[Stav]

And I was like, five to 10 is insane.

[Griffin]

That's a long time.

[Stav]

Even somebody like me who always is scared of like the steps of a relationship, I think like the Earl, like, I think the earliest Was probably after a year.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Of like really. And that's if shit's going good and you're compatible and maybe a clock is right and the clock is ticking and

[Eldis]

things have lined up where you're like. We both like. Like this place. This makes sense financially, you know, geographic, all whatever.

[Stav]

Yeah. To me it's like the relationship matters so much more than moving in together 100 and that I would if anything I. I would just like build your relationship until it feels almost like. Like you're overdue for it. Like I think you need to have a point where it's like you both have. You both have a place and it gets to the point.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Where your lives have melded so much much that one of you is spending the. You know, spending the night so often and that it just feels like oh, we're. We need to do like I think in big. In big life decisions. This goes career stuff for everything. I think it's almost always better to really. To feel like you're overdue.

[Eldis]

That's a great take. And you don't want to let it get to the point of frustration or resentment.

[Stav]

Right.

[Eldis]

Or kind of. But I think you want to wait for the moment when where you're like yeah, yeah, I should have done that like a month ago.

[Stav]

In general. Yes, in general. I think it's always a problem when things other than your relationship dictate taking another.

[Griffin]

Exactly. So if you're tempted by slicing your

[Stav]

New York my job.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Stav]

Move in with my girl and her friend. No, you shouldn't. Yeah. You should get a shitty sublease for six months while you figure your out. Yeah. Right.

[Griffin]

Especially because you don't want to move when you're up by something else too.

[Stav]

Right. Right.

[Griffin]

Because then you are. You are a problem. Like you're a whole syndrome. Moving into someone's house like you are. You're bring in all this to them.

[Eldis]

That's you, me and the pre. Kind of.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

I mean a movie we all remember.

[Stav]

Of course. I think I did see that in theater.

[Griffin]

We saw it and we all were like these guys. The guys who made this will make the highest grossing film ever made definitely

[Eldis]

in the history of Hollywood. The movie was made by the Russo brothers.

[Stav]

Get the out of here. That's.

[Griffin]

It's the last thing they made before Captain America or whatever.

[Eldis]

It's that seven years of tv.

[Griffin]

Seven years good tv. Like Rescue Element or Community or whatever.

[Eldis]

Yeah, Community.

[Stav]

Oh, they did Community.

[Griffin]

They did a lot of good.

[Eldis]

They did the pilot.

[Stav]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Rest development. They did the pilot, Gray Man.

[Griffin]

I'm still waiting. Gray Man 2. Where is it?

[Eldis]

They were like Sundance guys. They made an indie comedy.

[Stav]

Really?

[Eldis]

Then they do you, me and Dupree.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

They're like, we're gonna. We're on the path to be studio comedy filmmakers.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Eldis]

And then it's like that movie doesn't totally work. They become like the best TV pilot directors, kind of like directing producers and then they circle back to the marvel system, make 4 billion dollar movies and then of course finally graduate to the films that have changed the culture forever. Cherry.

[Griffin]

Great. Cherry, the one with Chris is still

[Stav]

working with Marvel guys.

[Eldis]

Now all their movies are Marvel guys. And now they're back to Marvel.

[Stav]

And now they're back to Marvel. Go back to the. Well, yeah, dude, you have that much money, why even work? But that's another. That's just me, I guess. Philosophy. El. How long did you wait to move in? It was a while, wasn't it?

[Guest]

Well, we kind of. She kind of did move in on necessity and. Because skip town for a little.

[Stav]

But. But you were dealing with. So you're the exception of the rule. Because it was like you were dealing with such extreme like emergency that if a relationship gets too. Through this, you're good. Yeah, kind of. And again, we don't. If you can avoid that. Avoid it. Obviously you couldn't.

[Guest]

Yeah, but we were. I think we were together for two years before that happened.

[Stav]

Yeah, that feels. That feels. Yeah.

[Guest]

Pretty soon after.

[Stav]

And you guys were hanging out all the. I mean you were either there. We were roommates at the time, so it was like. It made sense.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Two years feels reasonable. Whatever. Yeah, you, you know, you know what the. I love to know why she's asking and who. Who's.

[Griffin]

Yeah, there's context.

[Stav]

We're not getting pressing who.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Cuz she. Her throne. 5. 10 is actually 10.

[Griffin]

Imagine someone's like, hey, you want to move in together?

[Guest]

Why she's asking.

[Griffin]

Let's give it 10 years. Yeah, let's just. Yeah.

[Stav]

Has she been in a 10 year relationship? She's like, can you just move in with me? And the guy's like, I don't know.

[Griffin]

Maybe.

[Eldis]

It's definitely a very fun question though. I had a lot of fun.

[Stav]

I was say it's fun.

[Eldis]

Fun is the word.

[Stav]

We didn't have maybe the least funny segment this whole episode because of this. Everything else had a bunch of jokes, but this just sober actual advice.

[Griffin]

Relationships, human interaction.

[Eldis]

Sure.

[Stav]

Well, that is going to do it for us. But you guys, if you like movies Guys, check out Blank Check with Griffin and David. And we didn't even. You know, the. The show's interesting because it goes through an entire filmography of a director. Right. Which is like a cool. You know, if you're too stupid to even approach studying film. It's kind of how a dumb ass goes to film school.

[Griffin]

Yeah.

[Stav]

You know, it's like. It's like. Because you do. You know, I had never really. I never thought of looking at movies in that sense, but it's been cool to examine things that way because. Yeah. You realize, like, even the masters gotta start some.

[Griffin]

Sure.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

Maybe. Yeah. Even really great directors made weird pieces of shit.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Or.

[Griffin]

Yes. Stuff that didn't work. That's fun to think about.

[Stav]

It's actually. It's really. And it makes it. If you're somebody who is. Who wants to do film in particular, but literally anything that feels unattainable. Yeah. Like, I think maybe the best. The best one of these is like the Kubrick one, because that's exactly what

[Eldis]

I was about to bring up.

[Stav]

And, like, I love the. What's the. The Killing.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Killing. That's maybe his first movie. Good movie.

[Eldis]

But his actual thing. First movie sucks.

[Stav]

First movie suck dick.

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Stav]

And they're like. And that's like. And then maybe that's also why he became such a professional freak.

[Griffin]

Right.

[Eldis]

But people speak of him like he was this, like, perfect creature put on earth to make perfect movies. And it. It's more informative to watch that guy stumble and not know what he's doing and learn it on his feet before he gets to that level of control.

[Stav]

Same. I just watched the Mel Brooks documentary, which. I'm a God.

[Eldis]

I love that.

[Stav]

So really good. So it's. It's really good on hbo. Yeah, it's on Max right now. Really good. And that's another word. It's like, you know, I just grew up in a world where Mel Brooks was one of the, like, comedic voices.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stav]

That I knew always existed. But the fact that even after Blazing Saddles. Yeah. People weren't sure if his career was gonna work. It's crazy when you see these legends and you're like, no, dude. They almost fuck up so many places. And that it makes you realize, like, oh, it's not. You don't have to be perfect. And I think going through. It's fun. First of all, it's fun, funny podcast. You guys have great guests, you know a lot about movies, but also it's like. It's a cool way to look at them. Because it's like, oh, you get a holistic picture of this stuff.

[Eldis]

Mel Brooks, like, one of the most important guys. I. I love his work, but also, like, since childhood, I've been like, that's a guy who just seems completely unencumbered by anything other than the desire to be funny. And he does it well. And had always just been kind of like, all business. My job is being funny.

[Stav]

Totally.

[Eldis]

And I feel like that doc is the first time he's really been. And, like, I was in deep analysis for 10 years. I was like, white knuckling it through mental breakdowns and shit.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

It took me so long before I felt like I was comfortable and I had, like, landed where I needed to be.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And that stuff only makes the work even better.

[Stav]

Totally. Totally. It's all. It's fucking awesome. Yeah. See? Yeah. Fuck their podcast. Just watch that documentary.

[Griffin]

Yeah, that's good.

[Eldis]

The Mel Brooks.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Griffin]

More money in HBO's pocket.

[Stav]

HBO Great company, great company on its

[Griffin]

way to being a better company.

[Stav]

Ignore everything I said when I thought Netflix bought hbo. I'm happy that the Ellison family has bought it. And I hope to work with you someday, sir.

[Eldis]

Fly boys.

[Stav]

Yeah, Fly boys to put me in the cock. Jam me in the cockpit. That's gonna do for us. David Griffin. Thanks for coming, guys. Check out the podcast and we'll talk to you guys. And as we, you know, the Oscars recap. As we said, Begonia swept everything.

[Eldis]

We won slaps this year.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The heated rivalry guys were slapping everybody. They're like, do something about it. We're the most famous guys in the world. You Laura Dern, that sexy wan slapping everybody dude. Crazy, crazy ceremony. Thank you, guys. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye.

[Eldis]

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