
Matteo Lane returns to the pod to discuss the power of hair plugs, why his barber loves him, what Wicked is about, how all the actors in Grease are way too old, what it'd be like if Liza Minnelli had a straight son, growing up in a big loud household, and much more. Matteo and Stav help callers including a guy wondering if he should get back with his baby mama who cheated on him with an older guy, and a guy who wants tips on how to gently tell his girlfriend to stop talking so much during movies. See Matteo Lane live and follow him on social media: https://matteolanecomedy.com/ https://www.tiktok.com/@matteolane https://www.instagram.com/matteolane https://www.youtube.com/@matteolanecomedy Thank you to our sponsors!! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ switch now! Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! Chubbies - https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/stavvy code STAVVY for 20% off ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicema...
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Stavros Halkias
Nirvana the Band the Show the movie is being hailed as a miracle and absolutely what all our tax dollars should be for. Nirvana the Band to show the movie is 98% certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, this could have insane ramifications. Oh, my God.
Stavros Halkias
Critics are raving that it's a laugh riot future classic that'll leave you in disbelief that they didn't get arrested.
Mateo Lane
I have a feeling that right off the bat, they're gonna ask for an encore.
Stavros Halkias
Watch it on digital now. One of my favorite comedies of the last few years was Jury Duty, season one. Such an inventive show with such funny people. And there's a new installment that ups the stakes right now in season two. Jury Duty presents Company Retreat. The groundbreaking social experiment leaves the courthouse for a corporate retreat in the mountains. Trust falls. Anyone? The retreat is for Rockin Grandma's hot Sauce. Great name. The company's fake. Everyone's an actor except one unsuspecting gentleman, Anthony the. That's the setup. Expect bigger laughs and some heartfelt moments that might get those eyes misty. Watch Jury Duty presents Company Retreat, now streaming on Prime Video.
Mateo Lane
OPA.
Stavros Halkias
Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-stuff. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. Returning to the couch, our pal, Mateo Lane.
Mateo Lane
I won't find it not funny. Yeah, the Greek music. I just won't find it not funny. I don't think many people grew up around Greek, so for me, I did.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, you get it. You understand. It's a very joyous start to the show. We're happy to have you back in our temporary.
Mateo Lane
Thank you.
Stavros Halkias
Downtown Studios in an undisclosed location. Hopefully, we will. Very well. Actually, I can't even say very soon we'll be in the proper studio because we won't be. But, you know, in a month, maybe two months, who knows? But for now, thanks for coming. Mateo, it's been too long. I feel like we haven't had you in a while. I know.
Mateo Lane
Well, we've been.
Stavros Halkias
We've always. We've always. We've. We almost have done each other's podcast a couple times, and then we're just too.
Mateo Lane
You had a good reason not to. You had a big thing.
Stavros Halkias
I had an audition and I got it.
Mateo Lane
That's amazing. So imagine you lost it because you had to talk to Nick.
Stavros Halkias
I know. Imagine. Yeah. I'm like. And what's funny is I was kind of so. So on the audition, and you always look for obviously, like, no podcast as important as a big.
Mateo Lane
But Nick was like, I'LL do the audition.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah. But I was like, fuck, dude. Do I. I was looking for an excuse not to do it, but I did it.
Mateo Lane
Who gave Stavros his first acting role?
Stavros Halkias
That's right. You played doctor. I did play Dr. Papalopoulos of. Yeah. Speaking of great portrayals of the Greeks in the media. Fucking Mateo book to play Dr. Gyro. Gyro. Fucking Gyrofropathopoulos. Yeah.
Mateo Lane
I put you with my Mexican aunt.
Stavros Halkias
Just you.
Mateo Lane
My Mexican aunt.
Stavros Halkias
Me and your. One of my first scene partners was your aunt Cindy. You're in Cindy. I played. One time I played a fat John in a prostitute horror movie. Oh, where I get killed. That was maybe my first ever.
Mateo Lane
Okay.
Stavros Halkias
Where. Yeah, the. The Call Girl of Cthulhu is what it was called.
Mateo Lane
I was in a movie that came out this year called Maintenance Required. An Amazon rom com.
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Mateo Lane
I play faggot.
Stavros Halkias
That's what it said for the first three drafts. That's what it was. Eventually they gave you a name. They're like, I don't know. Aaron.
Mateo Lane
No, no, no. Yeah, they put me. I was in a rom com. It was. It was basically like, you've got mail, but with cars. You know, everyone was like, 20s and hot.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, yeah.
Mateo Lane
And then I'm like, like, hello. You know, can I. I was like, Mr. Burns when he dressed up like Jimbo.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. How do we do, fellow? Oh, no, that's. Yeah. No, on how do we do fellow? Kids is from 30 Rock, where it's Buscemi's the Private Eye. Going back to same concept. Yes.
Mateo Lane
But they were really nice and making the movie was fun.
Stavros Halkias
That's awesome.
Mateo Lane
You know, I went to the premiere and Nick came with me. He was your date? Nick was my date. He was my red carpet date. And it was so funny because everyone's like, with their PR people and all important. It was just me and Nick. And then Nick can't help himself. So the movie's happening. He's like, oh, Jesus Christ, come on, what are we doing here? And everyone's, like, looking at me and
Stavros Halkias
Nick, he's shit talking. The movie.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
That's fun, though. You did you like it? Do you like doing it?
Mateo Lane
I liked doing it. It was a lot of fun.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
You know, I just. There was no prep. I mean, it was like, play gay.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Okay. Like, yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, I'm getting a lot of fat. Scumbag rules. I really have to dig.
Mateo Lane
I have to. Who played Lincoln? What was his name?
Stavros Halkias
Daniel Day.
Mateo Lane
Daniel Day Lewis. I was Like, I was gay on set.
Stavros Halkias
Right? Right.
Mateo Lane
I didn't want people to like, stay in character. What I loved. I don't know if you're like, me, I've only done one movie. No, I did play a movie. It was like a. Of whatever. I played a British futuristic British host, like Ryan Seacrest. And I got murdered by a demon. I was great. But it was so funny because, like on set, like, I've never been in a movie before, but were comics. So like the other actors, like if the director had to give him a note, like they pull them aside, they have a conversation, they kind of a back and forth. And I was like, well, this seems like it takes a lot of time. So I just told the director. I was like, just yell at me what you want me to do.
Stavros Halkias
Tell me what you want.
Mateo Lane
They were like, really? I was like, yeah. I was like, I know I've bombed.
Stavros Halkias
I know. That is the thing where it's like, I don't fucking have. I don't. I don't think. I don't respect my acting abilities. Tell me exactly what to do. I don't fucking care. Like, that's the thing. It's like for actors, they really take it really seriously. But for me, I'm like, dude, I just don't want to look like a fucking idiot.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
So if you could wear a green screen suit and move me and like move my arm, mouth up and down. Like, if you control me to that level, great. I don't fucking.
Mateo Lane
Just tell me exactly what you want. I'm not interested in art. You know, I. I might.
Stavros Halkias
If I really disagree, I might be like, really? But usually I'm just like, great. Whatever you need.
Mateo Lane
Whatever you need is in your mouth. You're like, can I?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. I don't know. When did we do this rewrite? Is there even a camera on
Caller
camera?
Mateo Lane
I'm doing. I'm going to the workshop for Chicago, the musical on Broadway.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, hell yeah.
Mateo Lane
And they want me to play Billy Flint. So I have to memorize all the songs and I go in tomorrow to meet the people.
Stavros Halkias
That's awesome.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
They want me to do.
Mateo Lane
But I said I'm touring, so, like, I could do it in June. Like I could do a three week work run. They're like, sure.
Stavros Halkias
That's awesome. Yeah, that's really cool. Yeah. Because it is fun. I always forget how you can just fully sing.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And you know, like, so that makes sense. Would you want to do that? Would you want to do more? I mean, it's hard because Stand Up. I don't know if you feel this way, but it's like all these other art forms that are better are so much harder and there's so much more like planning. Whereas like ultimately with Stand up, it's
Mateo Lane
like, you know, shows a week.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Broadway. And I said it was like I would. I would love.
Stavros Halkias
But you want to do it just to experience it, right? Well, yeah.
Mateo Lane
It's almost like a Super Saiyan gay. Yeah. Like I have to like fully. But I would love it because I would love to be singing a bit back in vocal practice and do that. Like be a part of something. Because Stand up is kind of lonely. Like you're just chatting.
Stavros Halkias
Totally. You know, that's what's cool about movies that like. Yeah. It's like there's a squad or I mean, tires the best. It's like not only are the people on screen, you know, they're all my friends, but it's also like you. We've had the same crew for three years now, so we're all friends. So I do love that. It does. It feels like you're working in and off. It's like the good parts of an office.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
But with like the job being going to a strip club or whatever, you know.
Mateo Lane
Well, I want to be. If I act, I mean, I'm happy doing like, I'm thrilled. Like if I just do this the rest of my life, I'm thrilled. But I want to do like a buddy of mine is going to do a project where. Or like I don't want to say anything you give away. Yeah. But basically I'd play like a 62 year old woman named Deb who smokes. My name's Deb and I work at the Wawa. My daughter's name is Deb too, and so is our dog. Like that's what I want to do.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Yeah.
Mateo Lane
You know, because I'm too old to play the. Well, I can't. I'm really limited in what I can play. I can play hairstylist.
Stavros Halkias
It is really funny how different it is being a gay guy. And like I feel like this is the prime of my life. Like this being fat and bald. And I'm like, yes, my 40s, here I come. Because all the roles for my body type are 40 plus. Yeah. No one wants like a fat on a fat bald ingenue. You know, everything is like diner owner, fucking weird fucking, you know, creep cop. You know, Like I'd love to play a, you know, like some kind of mobster. Are you kidding me?
Mateo Lane
That you'd be great.
Stavros Halkias
That would be. So flick the hair back. All this shit is like these are all. It's all. It's all for me now. Like this is. I feel like this was. These are my long teenage years. I can. I'm about to being a fat, fat straight guy. 40s.
Mateo Lane
In my 40s. My job. Like the, the acting roles I can do are pretty limited into like best friend of white lady. Of course you better. You better leave him. You're better than that.
Stavros Halkias
Like you might be the best friend of an Asian or. Or a light skinned black woman. No, you know what I mean?
Mateo Lane
I'm talking Hallmark Christmas movies. Like I'm pretty limit. I'm just going to be. And it's not even necessarily the main character. It's like any woman.
Stavros Halkias
Yes.
Mateo Lane
Right. Who's having an issue with a man that she just met. You. You know, I'm gonna be. Which on Hallmark is usually some dumb blonde lady who can't, you know, she's leaving her big executive course, you know, and then I'm gonna be that guy.
Stavros Halkias
She's a brunette. The one with a big executive job.
Mateo Lane
That's right.
Stavros Halkias
Because blonde.
Mateo Lane
Right.
Stavros Halkias
You know what I mean? The blonde's like the one where if it's a guy leaving his high power job, he sees a. Or actually maybe it's a high powered blonde. I don't know. Maybe it could be like gay brunette, more homey. I feel like brunette can signify like back at home. Maybe it's redhead to be safe.
Mateo Lane
I think an auburn.
Stavros Halkias
An auburn.
Mateo Lane
Yeah. But I'm thrilled. I'm happy to.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, Lindsay Lohan has been crushing the Hallmark.
Mateo Lane
Unbelievable.
Stavros Halkias
Who?
Mateo Lane
Listen, her surgeon, the Michelangelo interview that she's just resting.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, is that what it is?
Mateo Lane
Just resting?
Stavros Halkias
I mean, dude, it's literally like if this reveals. Because didn't she marry like a Saudi prince or something?
Mateo Lane
Someone with a lot of money, something crazy in Dubai?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, we've been really into the idea of witchcraft on the show recently.
Mateo Lane
Oh, I have much to talk about.
Stavros Halkias
To me, this reveals. This could possibly reveal that wherever she lives, Dubai, the uae, whatever, they have sorcery because that what? And I'm a. You will not. There's no disrespect. I love Lindsay Lohan. You know, we were the same age. I was a 16 year old boy when Mean girls Mean Girls comes out. And I was a low hand guy. All the different. All the hot late girls in that movie. I'm a low hand guy. Right. I'm not disrespecting her. Her face looks. It's a miracle. It's literally insane. Like, the. I just saw a picture where I was like, okay, how is she getting young? Like, is she going to get the substance? Like, is. In two years, she, like. It all falls apart because it right now feels too good to be true. I don't know what's going on.
Mateo Lane
It was a well, and I'm happy to see it. A lower neck and face full facelift, dissolved fillers.
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Mateo Lane
That transfer under the eye, you know,
Stavros Halkias
that guy was cooking, man.
Mateo Lane
Look, I met her mom, Dina Lohan.
Stavros Halkias
You met, you met Dina?
Mateo Lane
I met her. She dressed like a manager of Claire's. And this was at a logo red carpet event I used to do back in the day. And allegedly was pulled. Pulled out by security for screaming and while she locked herself in the bathroom. That's allegedly so. But it was amazing, you know. And at one point I went. My gay cousin Brian was there. And I was like, hey, can we get a photo with you? She's like, why not? You know, she was great. There's a picture of her kind of. And. And I love Dina because, like, she puts like, AI like pictures of herself. Like, like just another human being. Like, Merry Christmas from Dina, dude.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, A lot of old Greek guys. We saw a friend's dad, old Greek guys were like, vain. They have started AI ing themselves as like just a sexier version of themselves. Like, it's really interesting because it's like they will look as hot as they can, but not. But still, you could identify it's them, but it's clear. It's kind of like they went through the Lindsay Lohan facelift, basically. I've seen old Greek men. I had a distant, like, relative who was like. He like, hit up me and my brothers on Facebook. I was off Facebook at the time. I didn't check it, but my brothers did. And this guy, before I was face tuning him, he worked for like, he was like a delivery guy, which, no disrespect, blue collar profession in Greece. And he was like, face tuned the fuck. Just some old Greek guy facetuned the fuck up, smoothed himself out and he started. At the time, I think my brother, when he was hitting him up, was like 16 or 17. They were like, chat a little bit. He started sending him pornography.
Mateo Lane
What?
Stavros Halkias
But like, again, not in a weird like, molestation way. In like a.
Mateo Lane
An old Greek man.
Stavros Halkias
Like an old Greek man. Like, isn't this fucking awesome, dude? Look at this lady. You've discovered the world. That was him. Trying to connect with his relatives. Like, they literally. He asked, like, two questions about my dad, and then he was like, fucking, check this out. It was just like. So he's like, pretty cool, huh, nephew? It's like, I don't even know you. I don't even know. We've never met in your shit. Understanding me, like. Like. And not just softcore.
Mateo Lane
I know.
Stavros Halkias
Like, we're talking kind of crazy. It's hilarious. And that's. To him, that's like, keeping. Keeping up with your family.
Mateo Lane
Keeping up with the Kardashians.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, that's that. It was so funny. But, yes, I do think there is, like, an AI. People are AIing themselves. Yeah, a lot of people, I think body.
Mateo Lane
Like, the. Like, people are AI in their bodies now. This one guy that I was. I'm friends with, like, did it, and I was like, wow, you. I was like, you really started working out. And he. He wrote back. He's like, oh, it's AI. I was. Well, that's kind of crazy. I used to, way back in the day, before my hair transplants, like, try and pull down my hairline in some pictures, and I look back now, and it looks like I.
Stavros Halkias
It looks insane.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, it looks like. It looks ridiculous. I look like an old Greek guy who's trying to, like, dye his hair black. I look stupid, so. Oh, I forgot to tell you. So I. I get my hair looking
Stavros Halkias
great, by the way.
Mateo Lane
Thank you.
Stavros Halkias
Holding up beautifully.
Mateo Lane
Thank you.
Stavros Halkias
Thank you.
Mateo Lane
My. The studio audience. Thank you.
Stavros Halkias
Thick as hell.
Mateo Lane
I. So I get my haircut now. I can go back. And I think we talked about this last time. Like, I never had, like, a barber shop experience because I was always, you know, trying to cover my hair. Now I just.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, that's so funny. That's so funny that you're, like, too ashamed to face a barber because he could track you going bald. You had to shift it time to time.
Mateo Lane
They're gonna be all loud about it. Like, if I'm trying to whisper to these guys, like, you know, I'm kind of losing my hair. Like, don't worry. You lose your head, it's okay. Everyone lose their head. You know, it's like, God damn it.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Yeah. So I go to this place, and it's such a great m. Mix of of people because it's, like, really Dominican. And then just, like, a sprinkled gaze. So, like, the energy in there is, like, really heavy Spanish. And then all of a sudden, like, did you see what Ginger said on Drag Race? Like, so, George, what's up Cuts my hair. So Nelson. I forgot that I said something. Nelson's like the head barber. He's amazing. And I forgot that I had said something on your podcast about it. And then I walk in to get my hair cut and they're running up to me. They're like, I can't believe. And look at this. You say like what I say. And then I did my pressure because his name is Jaime, but he goes by Nelson and it makes no sense. And I love that they were so thrilled. They were so tickled and it was. There was you and I talk.
Stavros Halkias
Shout out to them. Maybe we'll go. Maybe I'll go for a trim.
Mateo Lane
You should there elders, you need to
Stavros Halkias
go get that maintained down there.
Caller
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
What do you, what's your, what's your barbershop situation? Do you have a. I have a barber.
Elders
I have a Ukrainian dude in my neighborhood who has like. He's awesome. He's like tatted the fuck out. He has tats all over his face and oh yeah, I went there the day before my wedding. I never been there before. I never got my haircut by him.
Stavros Halkias
He did a good job.
Elders
He did a great.
Stavros Halkias
That's a high risk, high reward.
Elders
It was so stupid of me.
Stavros Halkias
They even crazy to take a shot. Like I would have loved. If you come in lined up, they give you the little fake. They give you the little fake outline. Yeah, that's been all.
Elders
He's like the only guy in all my time of New York that I'm just like so satisfied like every time. He just knows what to do with me.
Stavros Halkias
Okay, so you're good, you're good where you are. What's your. Do you guys chat?
Elders
Not really. When I went in that day, I heard like other people around me talking. I didn't even say like, oh, my wedding's tomorrow. I was like, I just want this guy to do what he does.
Stavros Halkias
That's true. You don't want to put that, that thought in his head because it's going
Mateo Lane
to be even more extreme.
Stavros Halkias
Cuz you want. You don't want him. Cuz you're sweating. You're putting that negative energy, that anxious energy out there.
Elders
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
You want him having calm. Although he's tatted up Ukrainian guy. He doesn't.
Elders
He could, he could deal with.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah.
Mateo Lane
He doesn't fucking care there to here.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Elders
But he's awesome. I love him, but I'm always down because he is like a little pricey. It's worth it to me, but I
Stavros Halkias
Mean, you think Mateo gets his haircut somewhere cheap? Are you out of your fucking mind? Mateo got hair plugs and had a buzz cut. He probably paid some guy to fucking do it piece by piece with scissors.
Mateo Lane
He did. Nelson did. Nelson did.
Stavros Halkias
You got a buzz cut with scissors. And so that is insanely gay. You understand that, right?
Mateo Lane
Let me just say this because I've always wanted a buzz cut. I'm jealous. I want to walk out and not
Stavros Halkias
think about my hair.
Mateo Lane
After years of struggling, I don't want to think about it. And what's funny is when I first got my buzz cut, because, you know, I'm also Mexican. When I got my buzz cut, like, no one's ever said to me, oh, you look Mexican. You look like nothing. Right. It's only.
Caller
I'm only.
Mateo Lane
My grandpa's from Mexico. So all of a sudden I get a message from Jay Jerdon. I showed my. I put up my buzz cut and just a simple text from Jay Jerd and said, I see it now.
Stavros Halkias
That's hilarious.
Mateo Lane
Like, Jay.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mateo Lane
They did. They cut it by. That's scissors.
Stavros Halkias
What's the point? Well, it was a buzz cut.
Mateo Lane
I know. Well, I did not. Now I'm gonna go today, I'm gonna get like a fade and do like a 5 buzz on top, you know?
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Mateo Lane
Not going too short.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
I've got. I don't have good hair. Like when I tried growing it out, I was trying to do this, this sort of like thing, but my hair is unruly and fine and curly. It's bad. So I just like, just.
Stavros Halkias
You're keeping it tight. It looks good. Looks good.
Mateo Lane
Thank you.
Stavros Halkias
Yep, yep.
Mateo Lane
And. Oh, I'm going to tell you, they gave me a beard.
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Mateo Lane
Not the barbershop, my hair transplant. So, like, if you want to connect your beard, you can do that.
Stavros Halkias
Wow, you got. You got beard.
Mateo Lane
I didn't have any of this. Really. They put it all in. That can connect it.
Stavros Halkias
Can I tell you something? I would. There is a high possibility I would get beard plugs and not hair plugs. Because to me, the. I want a beard. I don't really want hair.
Mateo Lane
I don't kind of like what I works for. Like, you have an ice shaped head.
Stavros Halkias
But honestly, if I had a beard, that would be huge.
Mateo Lane
Why don't you go to my guy? He'll take care of you.
Stavros Halkias
I might do.
Mateo Lane
And it might be a four day recovery. It's not like the other one.
Stavros Halkias
Beard plugs, dude, that would be fucking awesome.
Elders
We need to see a big ass
Stavros Halkias
beard on you, Dude, I would look awesome with a big ass beard. That is a miss.
Elders
You would truly just look like your dad, honestly. Because doesn't he. Didn't he have a big ass beard when we were kids?
Stavros Halkias
But see, here's the thing. My dad. That was a good look.
Elders
No, I know it was, but I'm not. I'm not saying that bad, but I don't know. Yeah, I'd like to see that.
Stavros Halkias
You're. You're sweating. I might be on your corner, dude. No, no, this not. You don't want me to get to 260.
Mateo Lane
I can get my.
Elders
You know why? Cuz even.
Stavros Halkias
I'll never get there.
Elders
Even if you get. Even if you get a beard. I just know you're like so sloppy. You'll never like.
Stavros Halkias
I'm sorry, you're. You just went to finishing school, Ellis. Who the are you calling sloppy, you piece of.
Elders
I'm just saying I don't think you like upkeep. Keep a beard.
Stavros Halkias
It's a lot of work.
Elders
It takes a lot of years to find out.
Stavros Halkias
I don't have the discipline you do. That's what I'm hearing. You shut the up. Your point? A good point would be beard plugs aren't going to come in that thick. It's like. That's your actual argument, Mateo. It's looking nice, but I think it's like, you look good stubble wise. It does. How does it grow out?
Mateo Lane
It doesn't grow out great. Because this grows in a different direction than that grows. And then I don't know what to do with it. You know, I'm dying it now. And like, because it's like half gray. And so when I dye it then I have a jaw line. So I'm dying now. I've turned into an old Greek man.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Really?
Mateo Lane
I'm like AI myself in life.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The beard dye is hilarious.
Mateo Lane
But it's easy. I did the just remind you because I was so tired of like, you know. Yeah, but it doesn't look too crazy.
Stavros Halkias
No, it looks great. I had no idea. I had no idea. I think the gray's good. A cool look.
Mateo Lane
Yeah. But it makes your face go away. You know what I'm saying? So it's like I want to have a jawline.
Stavros Halkias
I see. I see. Well, either way, I would seriously consider beard plugs.
Mateo Lane
Why don't you just do it?
Stavros Halkias
That would be awesome.
Mateo Lane
You could get my full beard. Get it connected and it like the hair transplants it's so like you have to sleep this way then 10 days and wash your beard. It's done. Four days. Yeah, you're done. That's it. And then I honestly.
Stavros Halkias
That's another point. I don't think I could do the upkeep of a. Of the, the hair transplant.
Mateo Lane
It's 10, it's nine days out of your life for hair forever.
Stavros Halkias
I couldn't do that. I don't want, I don't want it. I think it's stronger to be bald in today's day and age. I think it shows a real fortitude to stick with what the Lord has given me now. With my.
Mateo Lane
Or taken away.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, taken away from me now. Am I a hypocrite because I would get beard plugs? Yes, probably. But fat bald guy with a beard is a great look. The Santa Claus look. Yeah, classic Santa look. Come on, dude. Big ass beard, disappear into the mountains, come out with a beard. That would be fucking sick. I might do that.
Elders
You should do it.
Stavros Halkias
I might do.
Elders
You have, you have all these ideas about cosmetic changes. You want to do yourself to look dumber and dumber.
Mateo Lane
What else?
Elders
Gonna come around and look good one day.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah,
Elders
you're gonna be like blonde with a full beard.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, one day, dude. One day. We'll get there.
Mateo Lane
I tried dyeing my hair blonde. I got a buzz cut last year and dyed it blonde before I went to Thailand, but it was too short and so I just looked extra bald.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, really?
Mateo Lane
You couldn't see it at all. I looked so stupid. And everyone at the cellar was like, you like an idiot? I was like, yeah, that's also a
Stavros Halkias
little on the nose. Yeah, you know what I mean? The gay blonde buzz cut. Especially before Thailand. Were you going through something? Were you, were you mourning something?
Mateo Lane
Actually wasn't. I had a great time. I was feeling wonderful about myself.
Stavros Halkias
I see. I see.
Mateo Lane
I was like, I'm gonna take a vacation and just do something different.
Stavros Halkias
Did you like it? Did you like Thailand?
Mateo Lane
Oh, I loved it. I. I saw we went land in Cambodia and I saw in Cambodia, I saw, we went to these temples and I saw a mom and her 8 year old son. He was carrying candy and a monkey ran up. The monkey grabbed the candy, the kid kicked the monkey, the mom slapped the kid. I was like, they're all wrong. Yeah, it was good. We Bangkok was amazing. Our. I loved our tour guide because he just was sort of like over it, you know what I mean? Like, he rushed us through everyone to this temple and we're supposed to like fold these flowers. He's like, just, come on, just go, go, go. I'm like, oh. You know, we went to Chiang Mai and it was fun. I had a really good time.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah?
Mateo Lane
Yeah. Have you been?
Stavros Halkias
I've never been. Is it like beachy?
Mateo Lane
Not Bangkok, but crabby is okay. It's like all beach. It kind of looks like Avatar last airbender. Like mountains coming out of the ocean. Very Jurassic Park. I love Avatar.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah. We get a fucking. Some kind of crab noodle in the mix. I'm thinking of the cuisines.
Mateo Lane
The cuisine was amazing. The massages were great. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was awesome.
Stavros Halkias
And you're going. You're doing a non sexual massage in Thailand.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, it was all non sexual.
Stavros Halkias
Okay, good.
Mateo Lane
Isn't that crazy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the one.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
And I had the blonde hair. I was ready.
Stavros Halkias
Right, right. Well, I wonder if it's a gay sex tourism destination.
Mateo Lane
It's a CIS male.
Stavros Halkias
It does.
Mateo Lane
Going through something. Tourism.
Stavros Halkias
It definitely. Exactly. When a straight dude says he's going to. That's the other thing I want to go.
Mateo Lane
Right.
Stavros Halkias
But if someone hears I'm going to Thailand, it's over. They assume it's pure sex tourism.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And again, I'm gonna do a little sex tourism because I'm there. Right. Like if you go to Paris, you're gonna see the Eiffel Tower.
Mateo Lane
It's not gonna be the same.
Stavros Halkias
It's the same.
Mateo Lane
What would you do, though? You got. So what's like sex tourism for you?
Stavros Halkias
I know, Get a massage and get jerked off. Like get. You know what I mean, here in New York. Yeah, but I want to be on vacation.
Mateo Lane
Right, right, right.
Stavros Halkias
I want a nice place by the beach.
Mateo Lane
They're going to jack you off on the beach. They're not going to be like, happy ending.
Stavros Halkias
I don't know.
Mateo Lane
Wind through your hair.
Elders
Nice.
Stavros Halkias
You're going to do it. Do it all the way. You know, there's got to be high end. Jack you off on the beach.
Mateo Lane
It's called Dubai.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, that's true. That is true. All right, all right, I take it. Well, you know, I just want to get a feel for the local flavor. That's all I'm saying.
Mateo Lane
Right.
Stavros Halkias
Is there a gay Thailand? Is there like a.
Mateo Lane
Let me just.
Stavros Halkias
Major city with grindr there?
Mateo Lane
Thailand is gay.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, I see.
Mateo Lane
That's it.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, like a sex tourism destination for the gay population?
Mateo Lane
I think so. I mean, gays sort of find themselves everywhere. Yeah, there was like one gay street, but it was 7pm and we went. It wasn't like nothing was happening, but we just wanted to see what the drag shows were like and stuff. But they kind of run up at you to get you to come to their bar, like. Like screaming at you. And I was like, this is a
Stavros Halkias
lot like, yeah, yeah.
Mateo Lane
So I just ran away and then sang karaoke. I sang Andre Bocelli instead, in a small room by myself.
Stavros Halkias
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Mateo Lane
Billy Flint, the lawyer.
Stavros Halkias
Flint the floor. Oh, okay. Nice. Hell yeah. I watch a girlfriend made me watch Chicago once. Pretty good.
Mateo Lane
It okay? It is good. Do you just not like musicals? I mean, I get it. It's hard sometimes. It's hard to connect to because the music part thing.
Stavros Halkias
You know what? Sometimes if I hear a musical song out of context, it'll get. I'll be like, oh, I get why this.
Mateo Lane
It's like Christian music. It's like, it's good until you find out it's for Jesus.
Stavros Halkias
And I'm like, oh, this is good. And so that's how kind of I feel about musicals, where it's like, they do. They do grab. It's a lot of catchy songs, but the idea of fucking watching eight of them in a row in the middle of a play gets. You know, I would go. I think it's kind of stupid. Before I hurt my back, I had all these, like, goals for the year where I was like, I'm going to take in culture. Every week I will go to a museum or a Broadway play.
Mateo Lane
And I was like, go to a Broadway show.
Stavros Halkias
I know, that's what I'm saying. I gotta start doing shit like this. But fucking my backup, it was like. It kind of fucked everything for me. It just set me back a little bit. But when I'm out of it, I do want to just like. Because that's the thing you would love.
Mateo Lane
Death Becomes Her. It's a genuinely funny. Great.
Stavros Halkias
I've seen the movie.
Mateo Lane
Yeah. And they made it a musical. And it's legitimately like straight people. Everyone loves.
Stavros Halkias
I, you know, I should get it because I do think there's a little. Not liking musicals. It was a little like, I'm not. I'm fucking. I'm a jock. You know what I mean? Like, I had that period of my life where I had to. I pretended I wasn't as artistic as I was because I just was. You know, I mean, I've told the story before, but I lost the role of you're a good man. I lost Charlie Brown, and you're a good man, Charlie Brown. And that set me down a path of hating the arts, where I was like, this is sixth grade. Well, see, this was sixth grade. It's a deep wound. And I think there was a moment where I was like, I don't need that shit, dude. I'm fucking. I'm fucking cool as shit. I play football now. Cool. And so I think there is, like, me come. I think I just need to admit, like, nah, fuck it. I like. I like a musical, you know, I mean, I might start with musical movies. I want to. I want to watch all the Farsi ones. I want to, you know, like, I
Mateo Lane
want to tell you about that. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. I want to watch all that jazz. I want to watch. Yeah, I'm just interested in. That's Those movies, and I think that's. That's a good into.
Mateo Lane
I saw Cats. I didn't mean to. I saw it. This is years ago. They actually messaged me when I used to have Twitter cats, like, the blue check cats messaged me on. On Twitter. And they're like, come see a perfect show. Like, it was so cheesy. And I was like, did you mean to write me? They're like, yeah. Where it's like, gay. Gay night at Cats. And I was like, every night's gay. Hey. So I go see Cats, and I'd never seen it before. And, you know, like, it's the same. Like, it literally is just about. Like, there's no dogs, nothing. It's just cats. And they live in a.
Stavros Halkias
Just.
Mateo Lane
Just cats.
Stavros Halkias
Any mice and cats. They have dinner, I think.
Mateo Lane
No, it's just cats.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, they never catch a mouse.
Mateo Lane
There's not even a dog anywhere. Like, it's just. But there was one. One scene. They come through the aisle, which is all I hate when they come through the aisle. Stay on the stage. And I swear to God, Savros, this guy comes up to me. You could just see his dreams dying in his eyes. He comes up to me, and he's. The lights on him. He's staring at me, and he's just dancing like this.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
And my face trying to pretend like I wasn't embarrassed. I was like,
Stavros Halkias
oh, nice, buddy.
Mateo Lane
But I will say I got emotional during memory because it is a great song.
Stavros Halkias
That's a great song. Yeah, that's a. That's a great example of song I've heard Out of context and been like, nice. What the fuck is this about? And you see a video of some lady dressed as a cat. Like, the.
Mateo Lane
Is about a cat. I will give some wave now of, like, young Broadway singers where everything is kind of nasally. I think it kind of happened with. I don't know if it's from Wicked. Like
Stavros Halkias
a generation raised on Glee, perhaps.
Mateo Lane
And I want, like. Let's go back to, like, baseball baritone voices.
Stavros Halkias
Okay. Yes.
Mateo Lane
I mean, struggling to get you connected. This is what straight guys are talking about.
Stavros Halkias
I don't know. I don't know that I would start with the different registers of singing, but you know what I mean?
Mateo Lane
I think what's happening. Straight guys hear this and they don't know how to connect with it. So they're like, what is that? So what's this?
Stavros Halkias
We want a deeper, more sultry.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, you want more?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Interesting. So you think. So you don't think. You think the feminization of singing is bad for.
Mateo Lane
It's not the feminization. It's the nasalization. It's just sort of up here. Okay, I've got something new.
Stavros Halkias
You know, you're like, interesting, interesting.
Mateo Lane
Did you see Wicked One or two?
Stavros Halkias
You didn't see it? No.
Mateo Lane
Right.
Stavros Halkias
Not interested. Yeah. Didn't. You know what? I saw some of one.
Mateo Lane
Okay.
Stavros Halkias
It was on. It was at my friend Christina's. I was hanging out. It was the holidays and it's insane. It's. The movie's fucking crazy. There's like, talking goats and shit. And it's like, Dr. Delaman, why the fuck do the animals talk? And then the whole. The plot is they're stealing the animal's ability to talk. The fuck does that have to do with wizard of Oz?
Mateo Lane
Well, right.
Stavros Halkias
It's all kind of. It's insane bullshit and defend. And again, it's like those. There are songs, and I thought they were great performances. Both Ariana Grande and Cynthia Riva were fucking awesome. And there were songs that I was like, this is good. But it just. I was just like, what the fuck is this? Why are they, like, following a fucking. Why is the goat doing secret animal meetings and shit?
Mateo Lane
Like, the other animals are losing the ability.
Stavros Halkias
It didn't make any fudgeing sense.
Mateo Lane
I was like, something bad is happening.
Stavros Halkias
And, like, they're racist against animals. Like, they're Nazis against animals.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, it's like fascism, but, like. But goats. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
And I don't get. And then she's green.
Mateo Lane
She's.
Stavros Halkias
Why is she green?
Mateo Lane
She's green because.
Stavros Halkias
But her sister's.
Mateo Lane
Spoiler alert. Her dad is the wizard of Oz and was cheating. The mom was cheating on the dad. He drank this green drink. When she drank it, that made her green, but because she's mixed with human and wizardry, she was even more magical. Or some mom drank the green drink that the dad.
Stavros Halkias
So the mom's not green either?
Mateo Lane
No, no, the wizard didn't.
Stavros Halkias
A green wizard.
Mateo Lane
No, no.
Stavros Halkias
So no one's green but the witch just. Yeah, even her sister's not Nesta.
Mateo Lane
And yeah, her sister's just in a wheelchair.
Stavros Halkias
Was that because of the sisters in a wheelchair?
Mateo Lane
Dad was afraid that she was gonna also be green. So he made her eat a bunch of like white flowers or something. Something. And then they took too much. Her legs don't work. So now she's in a wheelchair.
Stavros Halkias
So that's also Nessa. Is Nessa the dad's biological daughter? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So that she. She's only cheating with the. With the wizard for their first child.
Mateo Lane
That's right.
Stavros Halkias
Interesting. And the green he. He dosed his wife with.
Mateo Lane
I love watching you try. It does sound stupid as I say
Stavros Halkias
it out loud that.
Mateo Lane
No, he drinks this green vial. The dad like some kind of green.
Stavros Halkias
She didn't. But it's the wizard's kid, right?
Mateo Lane
Yeah, because in the beginning there's that. So there's the mayor of monster.
Stavros Halkias
His wife turns green from his jizz after drinking the green drink. And it sticks when the wizards jizz fucks her. I don't even understand who the father fuck did she become green?
Mateo Lane
You're right. Okay, I got it. I got it.
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Mateo Lane
Okay, there's the mayor.
Stavros Halkias
The mayor from Munchkinland. Okay, so we have.
Mateo Lane
Something about you saying Munchkinland.
Stavros Halkias
We have the mayor of Munchkin Land.
Mateo Lane
The mayor of Munchkin Land and his wife, right? And then he goes out one night and then she brings in this guy that she's having an affair with, right? And this guy she's having an affair with is drinking out of this green drink and so gives it to her. That's like their thing. And then, you know, so they're having an affair and then she gets pregnant. And so when she's having.
Stavros Halkias
And the green drink turns your children
Mateo Lane
green, I guess it turned the.
Stavros Halkias
Nobody else drinks this drink.
Mateo Lane
I just said just the wizard because he's. He's human and he came into this world and so maybe that. That doesn't. That drink doesn't mix with the Munchkin People I don't know.
Stavros Halkias
So her mom's a Munchkin? No. Well, so elf, I don't know, is half Munchkin, half Wizard of Oz.
Mateo Lane
I don't think she is Munchkin. I just know he was the mayor of Munchkin Land. Oh.
Stavros Halkias
Because then the mayor of Munchkinland married a non Munchkin.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, but I don't know if he
Stavros Halkias
was the mayor of Munchkin is not a Munchkin.
Mateo Lane
I don't know. He seemed tall.
Stavros Halkias
So what is this, some kind of, like, fucking? There's like. There's like. Fuck. What's the word?
Mateo Lane
I love that.
Stavros Halkias
Apartheid society where the Munchkins are ruled by non Munchkins is Munchkinland. Palestine is the mayor of Munchkin Land. Netanyahu. Is that what you're saying? And. And Jeff Goldblum cucked him.
Mateo Lane
I can't believe they explain it so well in the first two and a half minutes of the Broadway musical. And as I'm struggling to explain it, you're like, hold on a second. Who's green? What's the drink?
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Mateo Lane
I didn't put it all together.
Stavros Halkias
That's my point is that this. This sucked. And it made no sense, even though it had very talented people in it. I was like, who gives a.
Mateo Lane
About, you know, it's. You have to suspend a lot of belief.
Stavros Halkias
Sure.
Mateo Lane
But it's all related to the. The wizard of Oz.
Stavros Halkias
But also, it's such a clunky. The wizard of Oz. Well, it's basically like they wrote a completely different play about something that has nothing to do with the wizard of Oz. And then someone's like, hey, can you just make this about the wizard of Oz afterwards? And they changed everyone. Like, ah, this gay guy is the Tin Man.
Mateo Lane
You know what I mean? It's like the lion was a.
Stavros Halkias
You look back.
Mateo Lane
The gay. The Tin man was gay, too. Well, the first Tin man went to the hospital because the makeup they were using on him. Yeah. So then they got another. Oh, I've always wanted a heart.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, wait, the guy doesn't even get to be in the.
Mateo Lane
No, it's out.
Stavros Halkias
Some guy got asbestos poisoning and he didn't even get to be in the movie.
Mateo Lane
Out.
Stavros Halkias
That's hilarious. Are you.
Caller
Do you.
Stavros Halkias
Is. Yeah, I guess. I guess. Does your love of Liza Minnelli kind of retroactively make you a specialist on her mother as well? On Judy Garland?
Mateo Lane
Yeah, kind of. Just through, like, ridiculous stories that she's talked about her. Yeah, she was so funny.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
We make Taffy, you can watch Liza fool herself. Like, she. Literally seven times. She was like.
Stavros Halkias
She's like.
Mateo Lane
And she had to go to see a therapist. And so we'd be driving and she was an entertainer. And she'd say, what story can I make up today?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Yeah.
Caller
And that's.
Mateo Lane
She made it funny. I was like, I think your mom just taught you how to lie.
Stavros Halkias
I think your mom was a sociopath and was teaching you how to trick the therapist to not find out how, like, how sad your life is. Because, I mean, she. Because her mom, ultimate, like, studio kid, you know, like, she's been in show business forever. And then. Was it. Who was her dad?
Mateo Lane
Her dad was a gay guy that they had to move from town to town because he kept bothering young boys.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, a little Catholic priest situation.
Mateo Lane
Yeah. So she went. She was on vaudeville when she was 2. Her and the Gum sisters.
Stavros Halkias
So I'm sorry. She's the. Mitch. Wow. She's the ultimate Hollywood product.
Mateo Lane
That's the wizard.
Stavros Halkias
She's the wizard. She's the ultimate Hollywood product. Her mom is Judy Goen, and her dad is Flam, I'm assuming. Wait, Judy.
Mateo Lane
I'm talking about. You're talking about Liza.
Stavros Halkias
Judy's dad was a gay guy.
Mateo Lane
Judy's dad. And so was Liza's, because Vincent Minnelli, who was the MGM director, married Judy Garland. He was also gay.
Stavros Halkias
Allegedly. They broke up because second generation business with gay dad. Yeah, I mean, that's. It's. That makes you feel like. Like symbolism really does matter.
Elders
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
She's the ultimate.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, that's fucking crazy, dude. Liza Minnelli's two generations gay. She had a gay dad and a gay grandfather.
Mateo Lane
Look, we get around.
Stavros Halkias
We get around. That's crazy, dude. Oh, no.
Mateo Lane
One married two gay men.
Stavros Halkias
Fucking Luke Skywalker, dude. No, no. She's Anakin. She's the chosen one. She's the show. She's the musical's chosen one. Dude, that's incredible.
Mateo Lane
Yoda's like, don't train her.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, no, but.
Mateo Lane
But her. She also married two gay men.
Stavros Halkias
Awesome.
Mateo Lane
You know, Judy Garland also married a bunch, but nothing.
Stavros Halkias
No, her kids didn't.
Mateo Lane
No, she never had kids. Never had any kids. No, no.
Stavros Halkias
She knew it would have been too powerful.
Mateo Lane
She'd said once on the Rosie o', Donnell, this is how faggy I am. She said once on the Rosie. The Rosie o' Donnell radio show that she had had a miscarriage, I believe, years ago.
Stavros Halkias
Sad. Yeah, it was. She had just become too potent, like it would. The talent that Would have come out of her womb. Would have been too radioactive.
Mateo Lane
Do you think I'm like, I could. I look like Liza? I could have been her son.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
I would have liked her.
Stavros Halkias
That would have been interesting. If she had a son, it would have been. What if she had a straight son? No, I'm just saying that would be crazy.
Mateo Lane
Too much genetics.
Stavros Halkias
I know, I know it would be. But imagine the ultimate, like, fish out of water is like a straight Eliza Melli gives birth to a straight.
Mateo Lane
My mom's Liza Minnelli. But I. Man, it's crazy. Didn't even want me on the football team. I don't want that gay around me. This. No tap shoes for me. The out of here. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Happy Mother's Day, mom.
Stavros Halkias
My mom's Liza Minnelli, but I. Is one of the best. Is one of the funniest phrases uttered on this po.
Mateo Lane
It's my next book. My mom's Liza Minnelli. But I. Yeah, what's up? It. I'm Liza's son.
Stavros Halkias
So she married two gay guys, huh?
Mateo Lane
Peter Allen, and it was David Guest. And Michael Jackson was the flower girl.
Stavros Halkias
That's nuts, dude. Wow. They really don't make them like that anymore.
Mateo Lane
No, that kind of talent doesn't exist anymore.
Stavros Halkias
No.
Mateo Lane
People don't appreciate that and the drama attached to it. You know, you.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I mean, you have to, unfortunately, I mean, you're training. Since you're a fucking baby.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, yeah.
Stavros Halkias
It's basically like, like what they say. Like what they say, like, about the Soviet, like, gymnastics team or like, you know how. How like China got all the. How they drilled that, like, opening ceremony. The Beijing. They, like had people over and over practicing. You basically have to do that to a child. And the crazy thing is it's so clear that it works. Works like.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Strip them of their humanity.
Elders
Right.
Stavros Halkias
You don't get to be a regular person.
Mateo Lane
That's right.
Stavros Halkias
And you create this, like, talent weapon, this show tunes weapon. You know what I mean? Like you. I mean, Michael Jackson. Same exact thing.
Mateo Lane
Right?
Stavros Halkias
Like, and it is up that. That, that just does work, but it's just up to. Dude.
Mateo Lane
But then when it doesn't work, it's even sadder because, like, they lost their childhood and they have no talent.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, that's a brutal one.
Mateo Lane
You know what I mean?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
But no, it worked with Liza. Well, she had good genetics. She had two very talented parents, so I would imagine. Well, her sister Lorna, her younger sister who was in Greece too.
Stavros Halkias
And she played in Greece too.
Mateo Lane
One of the pink ladies doing the pink. I. I saw her. I went to go see her with val at Studio 54 below. And she does this thing where it's still like the garlic. It's the garland move. Right, right. She's like in a jumpsuit. I'm sure this is so interesting to your listeners.
Stavros Halkias
No, no, this is.
Mateo Lane
They've all tuned out. But she does this thing where like this younger girl was singing and as she was singing, Lauren went. And I was like, what is that?
Stavros Halkias
I know what you mean. That is a classic move.
Mateo Lane
We should sit down and watch Wicked together. I think that you would. I would think you'd be the. I could get you on its side.
Caller
The.
Mateo Lane
The second one wasn't so.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I'm not interested in.
Mateo Lane
The second one was really good. And Cynthia Riva's amazing.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah. No, Ariana Grande. Yeah, they're both really talented and I like that she. That SpongeBob guy. Oh, I think that's fun.
Mateo Lane
Every day that meme going around of him singing on Good Morning America. Do see that?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah. And he's like, yeah, yeah. I like, why aren't women allowed to kind of be scumbags? You know what I mean?
Mateo Lane
What do you mean?
Stavros Halkias
Ariana Grande, you know, on. Came on the. On. On. On set romances. Dating a. Dating your co worker getting a little messy. Let's break the glass ceiling with. You know, I think that's fun. And she's very talented. And it's like, you know, I think
Mateo Lane
because she looks so incredible and when the nails and the makeup and the hair, it's like when you look like that, I think. And you have that much talent. I think it doesn't matter who you.
Stavros Halkias
But. And I. That's. That's big respect because it's like her range is crazy.
Mateo Lane
Her vocal range? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Her vocal range too. But I just mean, like, that is someone who, like, it's. It's interesting when like a beautiful woman will date like, traditionally hot as hell people. And also, like, she's attracted to like, a musical that should give little. Like musical theater. On one hand, it's cool for Ariana. On the other hand, it does piss me off that a musical theater straight guy was rewarded.
Mateo Lane
Well, he was the only one.
Stavros Halkias
I know. It does annoy me, I guess. You dedicate your life to being the only straight guy in a room. I mean, he really. He's actually the. He's the chosen one for straight musical theater guys because that's the whole goal you get into it, hoping the cards fall just right for you. And you get to fuck someone as talented and hot as Ariana.
Mateo Lane
Ariana Grande.
Stavros Halkias
That's. That's what every straight theater nerd. That's why you play the game. And you kind of have to tip your hat to.
Mateo Lane
He.
Stavros Halkias
He won the ultimate prize.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, but are they still together?
Stavros Halkias
Doesn't matter.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, doesn't matter. I mean, it's a. You're with you family and life is ruined, but he got checked.
Stavros Halkias
Sometimes it's worth it. I mean, let's be honest. There are. There are certain people, unfortunately, sometimes it is where, yeah, his life is ruined. He was probably going to ruin it at some point anyway.
Mateo Lane
Away.
Stavros Halkias
Well, he was probably gonna be away doing a Broadway touring Broadway show and cheated with somebody. That's not Ariana Grande.
Mateo Lane
I don't think you cheat on Ariana Grande. I think once you're with Ariana.
Stavros Halkias
No, no. I mean, if. If you're on a ground, doesn't show up.
Mateo Lane
Gotcha.
Stavros Halkias
He eventually probably cheats on his wife, but it's not with Ariana Grande. I'm just.
Mateo Lane
You've got this guy.
Stavros Halkias
I don't know.
Mateo Lane
I don't know his name. What's his name? He is talented.
Stavros Halkias
He's talented, but. Yeah, yeah, but I'm just saying, it's like. Come on.
Mateo Lane
But there was something about Wicked where it was a little Grease where it was like, everyone's like mid 30 and then they're like, high school. I'm like. Like, it was a bit Rizzo in Greece where you're like. She's like, I'm pregnant. I'm like, you got one egg left, dude.
Stavros Halkias
I know. It's so funny because we watched that as. Actually, that was. That played in my house a lot. That was the one.
Mateo Lane
That is a musical when you watch it, it not. It's bad.
Stavros Halkias
None of it.
Mateo Lane
None of it's good. But it works somehow. It somehow works when it goes together. Like, it's a bunch of, like, ginzos. It's supposed to be the east coast Italians, but they're west coast. Guy was 52.
Stavros Halkias
Rizzo's one thing, right? That fat little fat guy. Yeah. With the curly hair.
Mateo Lane
Yes.
Stavros Halkias
He's. It's crazy.
Mateo Lane
He's 52.
Stavros Halkias
It's insane. But as a kid, none of that, like, registered to me. And then I watched it. I don't know. I don't even. I didn't watch the whole thing, but I just, like, it was on TV or something and it's like. Like, they Are so old. It's crazy. Like, I still, like, I'm like, they're my age. Yeah. I'm 37 years old. Like, look up that guy. Look up the Grease cast eldest.
Mateo Lane
Soccer Channing.
Stavros Halkias
Stop. Personal.
Mateo Lane
John Travolta.
Stavros Halkias
Stop personal texting. Tell us how old that guy was.
Elders
Wait, which guy? Which character?
Stavros Halkias
Just figure it out, man. The guy on.
Mateo Lane
And this is a message for Hassan.
Stavros Halkias
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Go ahead. Well, well, this is vamping.
Mateo Lane
When are we hanging out?
Stavros Halkias
You don't want that guy. He's a piece of.
Mateo Lane
No, I'm not saying I don't want it like that. I'm just saying it's like, how is someone that. He's like, on every meme now where it's like, gays before and after breakup, and he's got shaggy hair, and then all of a sudden, he's clean cut.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
You know what I mean?
Stavros Halkias
He actually did do, like, a very annoying glam. Yeah. Glammed himself up. Worked out.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
He claimed he was. He used to say he was fat. Pissed me off. And he just kind of, you know, started. He got less. Slightly less fat. Anyway, Hassan, he's a piece of.
Mateo Lane
I'm a fan.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to have Mateo on Hasan.
Mateo Lane
I don't think he would be like,
Stavros Halkias
I can't wait till Israel takes Turkey. Fuck you, you're next. Stop.
Mateo Lane
Oh, my God, stop.
Caller
Bro.
Mateo Lane
I just want to tell him that he's got great cheekbones. We didn't mean to go there, Maron.
Stavros Halkias
Those are not the views of Mato Lane or the Stav's World podcast.
Mateo Lane
By the way, whose views are those?
Stavros Halkias
Views are just kind of. It's a joke. And you know what else? You're not going to find that, you fucking idiot. Why don't we just doody. I don't know which one fat guy he was.
Mateo Lane
The shorter guy.
Stavros Halkias
No.
Mateo Lane
Miss. Yes. He kept saying that in the beginning. Miss.
Elders
Shy guy.
Mateo Lane
Are you on Super Mario 2? Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Is he Bowser?
Mateo Lane
Is it Berto
Stavros Halkias
now? Berto. Is she. Is that where her pussy is? In her nose?
Mateo Lane
Someone brought up the other day that Berto's face is an uncircumcised dick. And I never thought about it coming out of it. Well, Berto was originally like, I don't know what Berta was supposed to be. And then Berta was like, kind of Girl Yoshi. After a while, like, they kind of rebranded her as Girl Yo Larsi as Girl Yoshi.
Stavros Halkias
Right. Well, she was from Super Mario 2.
Mateo Lane
Yes.
Stavros Halkias
Which was another reskin of a different Japanese game. So. So I'd like to know more about Berto. What's going on with Berto? Whatever. We're not gonna figure out Berto. Hasan, have Mateo on the stream. Why don't we take some calls? Eldest because you didn't figure out what the I'll figure this out. I'll look it up right now. Cold days, big goals, no time to cook Factor makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dieticians and crafted by chefs so you can eat well without the planning or cooking. Factor is a variety of meals that fit your goals and schedule, whether that's healthier eating, calorie management or more protein. Me, I'm trying to do all three, and every meal is made with quality, functional ingredients, including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients and healthy fats. I've been on the road a bunch. I've been doing tires. I've been, we've been, we've been doing all these gigs. Got some. I've been visiting Baltimore. I'm in and out of my apartment and having some Factor meals here has been a godsend for me, helping me stay on track. They have my I've been messing with the GLP1 meals because I, you know, you know, I'm a GLP1 warrior. I really love the cheddar and poblano shredded beef bowl. Sometimes when I want something just down the middle, I'll go brown butter grilled chicken and some Yukon mash. They'll throw a couple veggies in there, some eggplants, some delicious stuff. You're going to love it. I love it. Head to factor meals.com/stavi50 off and use code STAVI50OFF to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month with Factor New subscribers only. Varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. Picture this. You're doing some online shopping when all of a sudden you see it. That one product that you've been looking for. You add the cart and as you're filling in your address, you realize you don't have your cart anywhere near you. That's when you see it. That purple pay button that has all of your information saved, making checking out as simple as a simple tap of your screen. Shopify's Shop Pay button is used by millions of businesses around the world, and it's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. It also helps boost conversions, meaning less carts going abandoned and more sales for you we certainly see that here at Stavi Baby Enterprises. We use Shopify for our online store. They're helping us move merch. They're helping us move T shirts, calendars, you name it. Shopify has been incredible for us. See less carts go abandoned and more sales with Shopify and their shop pay button. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.comstavi go to shopify.comstavi that' shopify.com savi
Caller
hi, Stav. Hi, Elvis. Hi, guest. I am calling in as a trans woman. I have surgery and I am very happy with how things turned out. Things are very fun. Everything's cool.
Stavros Halkias
Nice.
Caller
But I am calling with a very specific question, which is how do I identify mental with small penises? Here's why. Things, like I said, very good down there. I'm having really fun sex. The surgery itself was years ago.
Stavros Halkias
She's looking for a little.
Caller
Well, everything. Everything's working as it should, except for the fact that things are, like, quite tight down there, which is.
Stavros Halkias
You got the deluxe.
Caller
You hear that? Guys like that. But then also, if a dick is like even a little bit bigger than average, honestly, even at average, I like, if I really want to get pounded, it's going to hurt. Like, that's not gonna feel.
Stavros Halkias
That's beautiful.
Caller
Anything above that, I'm like, no, no, thank you. And I keep running into these problems where I'm in a relationship with a woman and she lets me fuck other people. It's very fun. But I will, like, go out with a guy and I'm mostly just hooking up with these men. It's mostly like one night stands because I have my girlfriend back home and like, that's good for me. And I just keep bringing guys home with these fucking hammers. And then, like, most of the time that that has been happening, like, so fucking funny. You know, we'll do other stuff. I'll stop, I'll get fingered. You know, we're having a fun time.
Mateo Lane
She's like, I don't know what my problem is. I live in South Beach. Everyone's got huge dicks.
Caller
Specifically by a guy with a smaller dick. And I don't know how to.
Stavros Halkias
That's beautiful.
Caller
Is it just a numbers game? Like, do I just keep, like, hooking up with people until I find someone with an adequately small dick?
Mateo Lane
How is she finding guys to hook up with? Maybe she just needs to advertise it here.
Caller
Thank you so much and I hope you have a great day. Okay.
Mateo Lane
I think she's got it like. Like, kind of like back, you know, when you were like, that guy will teach you guitar.
Stavros Halkias
We see the ads all around the
Mateo Lane
city, you know, looking for the small dict. Yeah. She's got to like. Like, she's got to say, listen, I'm looking for a small dig. This is not a joke. Yeah, I'm looking for a small dick.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
You know, and guys, the guys. Guys will show up. They really will show up.
Stavros Halkias
They'll. They'll be wary. They'll think they're about to get drugged and their kidneys stolen from this, but
Mateo Lane
that's when they still show up. Still.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mateo Lane
And she's already got a girlfriend, so it's like, yeah, there's no total harm.
Stavros Halkias
I think maybe. First of all, I want to say this is actually possibly a huge PR win for the trans community. If we get it out there that we. If your dick is little, we're scientifically engineering a new type of woman specifically for the little dick. If we flip it that way. And that's not what's going on, but this is advertising, baby. I'm Don Draper right now. And so we. The little dick, like trans misogynists on the Internet, they might see, like, hey, wait a second. Hey, there's. There's a pussy small enough for my little fucked up dick. And we might win a lot of these guys over. So this is good. I don't know. So that's interesting. That's number one. But I think, yeah, if it's you in. Our friend here who just called, she's talking about. It's a hookup situation. Why don't you go to explicitly hookup apps. Yeah. And say, I'm looking for. I mean, whether it's field. I don't know where you. Where you're like, Tinder Grinder, Wherever you
Mateo Lane
feel, you say in your name. Probably she should say, looking for whatever. Five and under.
Stavros Halkias
Five and under.
Mateo Lane
She said average. Didn't she say, like, average as well?
Elders
She said, even average dick's hurt her.
Stavros Halkias
Wow.
Mateo Lane
Yeah. So maybe she's gotta go and also leave South Beach.
Stavros Halkias
Is she in South Beach?
Mateo Lane
I just imagine you're in South Beach, Florida. And she's like, why am I finding all these giant dicks? It's like, well, girl, you gotta go, you know? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where the land of small dicks are. But, you know, she's probably just gotta. I think she's gotta.
Stavros Halkias
I think you advertise. Yeah. What. How are you finding this or what? Is it about you that's attracting all these huge hogs? That's another question. You know, are you. Where are you looking? Are you. Where are you looking? You know, for the. You know, hey, can you go somewhere? What's a. Where's a. Is height an issue? You know, obviously it doesn't directly correlate, but. Have you been dating taller guys? Maybe you want a smaller guy?
Mateo Lane
They're so big. The last guy was six, nine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like she's.
Stavros Halkias
Are you recruiting? Yeah. Are you going to basketball? You know, like, pick up basketball games. Don't go there anymore. Try soccer.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, even better. Paddle ball.
Mateo Lane
Do you think soccer guys have smaller dicks?
Stavros Halkias
Well, they're just smaller guys.
Mateo Lane
Right. I feel like smaller guys can have, like.
Stavros Halkias
It's possible, like a really.
Caller
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Have you encountered, like, a little guy with a huge dick?
Mateo Lane
I have, actually.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Yeah. And it's always shocking.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Are they. Do they have the. Does it can't Chojo.
Mateo Lane
Because she was like. It looked like a kickstand.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my. My wonder is, does the. Does the big dick confidence cancel out the Napoleonic or does that. Does having a big dick and being short only fuel? Napoleon fuels Napoleon.
Mateo Lane
I mean. Yeah, yeah. It fuels the sort of like, they're
Stavros Halkias
like, why am I being mistreated by society? My dick is huge.
Mateo Lane
Yeah. Because it's the energy of wanting to show you the dick.
Stavros Halkias
Right.
Mateo Lane
You see what I'm saying, right? The anxious. Like, before you go on stage, you're anxious. You're not nervous. You're anxious. Like, just get me out there.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, that's a good point. Because it's like, he's like, no, I'm five four. No, not. Not enough. No women are gonna know my dick is huge. That's tough. It's like a great product with, like, a bad Bach packaging.
Mateo Lane
We went right back to Wicked.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. I don't know. I say these are hookups anyway, you know, explicit. If it's on apps explicitly, say it straight up. Start there. And. Yeah. Legitimately. Who. Where are you finding these guys? You know, little.
Mateo Lane
Well, she'll probably get inundated with guys with huge dicks and be like, you can't. You don't like this. You know, you can't accept this.
Stavros Halkias
Right.
Mateo Lane
And then she's just gotta start blocking everybody.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah. Which is good. I like, I like. Not everything's for the big dick community, you know? Thank you, sister. You're doing a. You're doing a service to the little dick community. And once you get the word out there, that's gonna really start helping things, I think for everybody.
Mateo Lane
So forgetting we've seen each other naked.
Stavros Halkias
We have.
Mateo Lane
Multiple times.
Stavros Halkias
We certainly have. All right, well, I think that's good. I think we solved a problem.
Elders
Next.
Stavros Halkias
Next question. Elders.
Caller
Hello, Stavi. Hello, Elvis. Hello, wonderful, beautiful, bisexual, bi racial guests.
Stavros Halkias
You have no idea.
Caller
Wrong.
Stavros Halkias
You're wrong on everything.
Caller
I was in a relationship for seven years with a woman that I have a child with. Child's now five. And for the last eight months of our relationship, she had an affair. Older guy.
Mateo Lane
Oh.
Caller
And I knew about it the entire time.
Mateo Lane
Oh.
Caller
She gaslit me. She has a job where she, you know, travels to people's houses, takes care of them. So she's.
Stavros Halkias
She takes care of. She's a nurse.
Caller
Out all day.
Stavros Halkias
Older guy.
Caller
I'm just. Just wouldn't come home.
Stavros Halkias
But holy.
Caller
I finally caught her like red handed talking on the phone to the guy. I break up with her even pitifully, you know, beggar to just stop seeing them so we can fix our family. And I know you guys are gonna call me a. That's fine.
Mateo Lane
No, I'm not.
Stavros Halkias
What?
Mateo Lane
That's a reasonable thing to ask.
Stavros Halkias
I don't know, dude. No, I'm not. First of all, stop.
Elders
The mother of your children.
Stavros Halkias
My life. And the woman I thought was the love of my life and mother of my children betrayed me. And I. All I wanted was to take a minute and work on our relationship. I know. I'm a for that. What are you talking about, dude?
Mateo Lane
Wrong with straight people.
Stavros Halkias
You're. It's okay. And even if I ultimately you. I don't know if like, trying to get back with someone is ultimately the right choice.
Mateo Lane
Well, that was a for saying don't call me a.
Stavros Halkias
But I'm just. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying it's like, like, you know, you were totally valid. You're. You're going through a horrible thing. It's okay to have very intense feelings about it that make you act out in multiple ways. So don't worry about it, dude. That's number one. Go ahead. I'll just keep going.
Caller
I don't know. Last night I got the. I miss you so much. And I've blocked him on everything.
Stavros Halkias
No, dude, like, I really. No.
Caller
Now enjoy having my family. I've already got two kids with someone else.
Stavros Halkias
Two with someone else. Interesting.
Caller
I don't know, I'm just kind of at the crossroads of like. Because I still haven't healed from all that, of course. I just. I don't know what to do. I mean, they've both said things to me that I don't know that I can ever forget.
Elders
Both.
Mateo Lane
The guy, he said he called him and they called him red handed.
Stavros Halkias
Her wife was. I was fucking her pussy, boy.
Mateo Lane
Well, she was changing my.
Stavros Halkias
I learned this in World War II. I put my dentures in your wife's pussy. She loved it.
Mateo Lane
I was talking to her about the beaches of Normandy.
Stavros Halkias
That wasn't the only thing I stormed. Her pussy was as wet as that bleach. I crushed your wife's like I crushed Nazi skulls. I drafted your wife's. Okay, all right. We had a little fun. We're back. We're back. See, we weren't gonna call you. We weren't gonna call you a. We were just gonna have a little fun with the situation.
Caller
Hear your take on this. I know you're just gonna say I didn't give enough context and. Or I went too long. I'm sorry.
Stavros Halkias
Okay. Okay.
Mateo Lane
Actually, that's a good bit.
Caller
Love you, buddy.
Stavros Halkias
Actually, how self conscious you are about leaving a voicemail is instructive about what's going on here. Maybe I'm not gonna call you a. But maybe you worrying about it is the kind of thing where this has been a issue for you in your life. Maybe you are kind of. Maybe you defer a little bit. Maybe you aren't the kind of person who puts his, you know, wants and needs and feelings out there first and foremost.
Mateo Lane
And I'm no bitch. So chic.
Stavros Halkias
And, like, who knows? I can't speak again. Are we missing a little context? I can't speak to what? The reason that this relationship happened. Is it possible you did. You know, there are things that you, both of you did that led to this. Maybe. I don't know. But let's just talk about the actual situation you're in. Right? You. You. You said. And yes, him saying he really misses his family. I totally get that. And this is a great example of. It is a little immature to think cheating is the end of the world. Right? This is a good example of that. How, like, life is more complicated than cheating. Bad. Right? Cheating is bad. I get it. And a lot of people cannot get over it. And you're totally fine if you can't. But in situations when it's more complex than that, you're talking about your family you've built. You know, he's already come from a situation where he has two kids with someone else. Maybe you're tired. Maybe you're straight up just tired of trying to figure it out and you want to like. And you still, there's still love between you and this person and you want to work towards a situation where you can trust her again so you can get your family back on track. There is nothing wrong with wanting that if you think you can handle it. Right. If the, you know, if you think you can get over it. And people certainly get over cheating, right? Especially the old later in life, I think. Old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is funny that, you know, the old guy is tough and, and the fact that the guy said something like
Mateo Lane
when he said they've both said something,
Stavros Halkias
that's where I'm like, are you a bitch?
Mateo Lane
I also, I also.
Stavros Halkias
And is that a problem in your life? I'm serious. Like, did you let some fucking old guy disrespect you and you should have taken a fucking crowbar to his knees? It's possible, right? I don't know. And you have to figure that about yourself because how self conscious you are about it is a red flag to me. Right. Someone who's mentioned a couple times he's worried about how we're going to perceive
Mateo Lane
him on this podcast, which he was right to think so.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, it's a self fulfilling prophecy, right?
Mateo Lane
Of course.
Stavros Halkias
Because when you start worrying when you're insecure, it becomes obvious. And people do kind of don't respect somebody who's insecure. I mean, that's how the world works, unfortunately. Right.
Mateo Lane
Say, I think there's also multiple options for my accent. There's multiple options to stuff like this. I think, you know, sometimes I think people don't, they see everything very black and white. And maybe he's trying to see the situation as. There was a moment I felt secure because I had my family and everything was locked and loaded. And then this moment I felt, you know, out of everything was out of control. And so when you feel powerless and out of control, you act on fear. And so right now all he can think about is how do I get stability back?
Stavros Halkias
Sure.
Mateo Lane
And trying to get that stability means. Means family. Family is stability. Family, stability, family. It may not be. So really what you could do is focus on why don't we co parent in a way or have a relationship in a way that allows us to create stability for the family, but then we live our own separate lives. Because I think what he's really saying is I feel powerless, I feel no stability. And I'm trying to get something back in my life to Feel more streamlined. So it doesn't necessarily have to be. Get back together with her just because that represents that it can be a multitude of things.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I think that's a great point. And I do think that you have to be realistic here and that he's right. He hasn't healed from this. And I think some arrangement where you can get stability, you can work on yourself, and if you feel like it, slowly work a relationship with her again. That's in a way that, you know, you're working towards. First of all, your main goal is stability for your family, for your kid, whatever. But if you're working towards some kind of reconciliation, I think that's the way to handle it. And I also think what you said is. Is a great point where, yeah, this might just be you craving some stability. So you think, all right, if I take her back, it just becomes like it was right, and it won't. That's impossible. Whatever you do, you have to work towards. You have to work towards repairing this fucking huge betrayal at the center of your life. Whether that's repairing your relationship with this person and you guys get back together, I'm not ruling that out. But you also have to be realistic. And if you try that and it's not working, you have to realize there's no going back. We have to just form stability from whatever the fuck.
Mateo Lane
But either way, an internal change is going to have to be made.
Stavros Halkias
Exactly. Yes. Because part of it is also, yes, you healing and, like, and, you know, just fucking getting over. I mean, getting over this sounds cold and crass, but that's the reality is, like, where you can get to the point where this doesn't bother you as much. It's never going to fully go away, probably for a while, but. But get to the point where it's just like, you know, you're just kind of getting over it. But, yeah, look, if you feel like you want to give it another shot, that's fine. With real boundaries, I would probably say some kind of couples counseling therapy thing to start, at least mediator. Mediator at first. Because you feel. You're feeling a lot of feelings and you don't want to get too emotional. You want to. You want to give this a fair shot if you're going to do it. But also, if you realize it's not working, you don't have to fucking go through with it. Right. You're trying it for your family. But, yeah, dude, what you're feeling is totally okay. I do think you should probably look at not only counseling if you're going to get back together. But even if it's short term therapy or counseling for you, almost like grief counseling, I mean, I don't know if people do that when they get, when there's such a serious betrayal, like getting cheated on with kids, that's a fucking traumatic thing. Because it's more, it is more important they like than just you now. Right.
Mateo Lane
Because you feel that you're a part of something that's disappointing now. Multiple people, and it's going to shape their lives.
Stavros Halkias
It's a betrayal on like multiple levels. Whatever other people's lives are.
Mateo Lane
But to be fair, he did not put himself in this position. So he is now trying to hold the emotional weight of her and him and make a decision for both of them. He has to make a decision everybody what's best for himself.
Stavros Halkias
That's what I was gonna say is like if you feel like you're doing this and you're putting in more work like this, if you, you know, obviously you're. You have a part in forgiving and working towards rebuilding, but the person who betrayed you should be doing the heavy lifting here.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, but I do think some, I do think sometimes when, when there's cheating involved with cheating happening and people come together again, then when that other person says, I'm gonna come here and we're both going to work on this, it. It has to unfortunately be an equal move together. Otherwise the other person will feel like they have to appease.
Stavros Halkias
That's a good point.
Mateo Lane
And appeasing doesn't necessarily fix what the problem was in the first place, whether that problem be their individual problem or together. So in a way, you do have to sacrifice your ego and say, we got to do this.
Stavros Halkias
That's a good point. If you decide to do it, you have to forgive the person for it because you're right.
Mateo Lane
Or at least compromise your own feelings for a second to try and see if you can move forward. And we're not fundamental, we're not even
Stavros Halkias
saying because you might not be ready for that and that's totally okay. But whatever it is, you have to decide what's best for you and your kids. And not because right now, of course you want your family back. But what you really want, first and foremost is for this to have never happened. You want to go back in time. That's not an option. So if you really sit with your feelings and think, do I want to work to get my family back, even though I didn't deserve this at all, if the answer is yes, try It Godspeed. If the answer is no, that's okay too. Just know that's a different, harder road. And you're going to be single. And you're rebuilding for. You know, you're rebuilding again. And now you. Now you're the guy with two ex baby mamas. You know what I mean? That's another thing that's probably weighing on your head on some level. But that's life, baby. You didn't. You did. It's not your fault somebody cheated on you.
Elders
If your penis is small, maybe we'll get you in touch with the woman from the first fall. Yeah, that could be your little rebound.
Stavros Halkias
And you should be like, I get to five ladies now, bitch. One old guy equals five awesome chances at pussy. My mom's Liza Minnelli. You don't fucking. You don't fucking treat me like this. I fuck pussy.
Mateo Lane
I forgot I said that.
Stavros Halkias
Play us another one, Big Eldo.
Caller
Hey, this is okay. I'm gonna talk about myself first and then I'm gonna ask my question. So great. I am in my mid-30s. I'm a hospice nurse. I live with my mom, my sister, and my sister's fiance, Kayla. It's so chill. It's so nice. It's like four adult women. It's always clean. Somebody's making cookies.
Stavros Halkias
That sounds awesome.
Caller
I smoke joints in my garden all the time. It's so nice.
Stavros Halkias
Sounds nice.
Caller
But I like being a nurse. I've been a nurse for a really long time. Like 12ish years. Okay, 11 years. I don't know. But I also run a pretty successful only fans page. I'm single now, but I've been dating here and there. And I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on, like, when's the right time to tell somebody about that? Because I like to be really like, direct and upfront, but, you know, it carries some stigmas still, so I don't know. And like, you know, it's kind of a. Like a weird niche thing, so that's interesting. I don't know. What do you think the right answer is? I don't think it should matter. But I also only do solo stuff. I don't have content up with other dudes or anything like that. I feel like that changes things.
Stavros Halkias
It kind of does. I think it does. I haven't answered it.
Caller
I mean, it's good money. It's kind of hot. It's fun. I like it.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. If you have a good time, I
Caller
wonder what your thoughts are. Right.
Stavros Halkias
I love that she's riding a sibian and her mom and her and her gay in laws are downstairs making crescent rolls. But everything's clean, but it's spotless.
Mateo Lane
I think that she actually answered her own question. I think that being upfront about it weeds out the insecure men because it takes a man who understands that she's got a business and she knows what she has and she's branding herself and she's making money and that, you know, I think an insecure straight guy would be like, they. They think quite possessive when it comes to women. Like, she's my woman and my woman and nobody can say. And I understand that, like, that's how you think you're supposed to care. But in reality it doesn't. It actually hinders someone else's own self expression. So I think that if she enjoys, if she sounds like she's enjoying it and she's making good money, find the guy that's gonna be proud of her and say, you know what you do? You. That's it. That's a great way of finding my
Stavros Halkias
wife busted wide open on the Internet. That's my girl, dude. Look at those asses.
Mateo Lane
My mom's Liza Minnelli.
Stavros Halkias
Am I. And I know good performance and I know artistry because my mom's Liza Minnelli. My. My wife is shaking those ass cheeks like my mom doing the Charleston as a toddler. Liza Minnelli's son is one of our favorite. He's one of my favorite characters in the. In the canon. In the Stavi's world canon.
Mateo Lane
I know good performance.
Stavros Halkias
My mom's wise and I know stage presence.
Mateo Lane
You don't know the lineage I come from.
Stavros Halkias
I know I just look like some guy who works for Deloitte, but I fucking know performance, bro.
Mateo Lane
My granddad's Vincent Minnelli.
Stavros Halkias
I have a gay, gay great grandfather. Both my grandfather and great grandfather are homosexuals. So. Okay, this. This is an interesting call. I love, I do. I do love. By the way. It is also like how bad the economy is. Has just forced us back into village style living where it's like she's in a commune with three gener. It's beautiful.
Elders
And she's a nurse.
Stavros Halkias
And she's a nurse. She's a nurse.
Mateo Lane
And.
Stavros Halkias
And putting them and dumping those titties out, dude. It's. It's crazy.
Mateo Lane
So funny.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, hopefully she's doing well from it. I hope so. But it is so. And I'm glad. And I actually love that. I mean, Greek people live. It's like basically in my family, in Greece. It's like everybody and a lot of people, how they do it is there's an apartment building and every generation has their own floor.
Mateo Lane
Yes.
Stavros Halkias
And to me, that's the dream. Like, I still dream sometimes of like, like someday, dude, buying stuff like a building. And it's like we live on the like, me eldest, straight George, the elusive and mysterious Big P. And like, that would be awesome. You know what I mean? And I love. But you know, a house is a little different. I think they all deserve their own floor. But anyway, what they got going is great. I love what you're doing over there.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, for me. And I do think there are levels to just like anything. There are levels to stuff. And I think like, I don't know, solo stuff. And I. Obviously I'm not the average guy, but to me, I would rather you do solo only fans and work for a defense contractor. You know what I mean? Like, like to me it's like there's solo only fans is like, is like lawyer to me.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
You know what I mean? It's like, it's like great. Oh, is it? You know, good for you. I'm not that interested, you know. Yeah.
Mateo Lane
It's like, I'm not even trying to be like, I'm liberal and I live.
Stavros Halkias
We are a little bit though. We have to be honest. We are, but this is different for us.
Mateo Lane
I understand. You're right, you're right, you're right. I get it. I get it. But I, I'm also saying, like, there is really truly a part of me that's just like, yeah, I don't. That's fine.
Stavros Halkias
I, I agree.
Mateo Lane
I'm not bothered by it.
Stavros Halkias
And I would. Now, where we're going to be realistic here is like, if it was other people and other guys in particular, that's a harder sell.
Mateo Lane
It's a harder sell for sure. And definitely she does have to have a conversation because you'd have to say, are you okay with me engaging in sex with other people? You know, it's for my business, blah, blah. I understand that.
Stavros Halkias
I think that' more reasonable to have a hard line stance about. But to me, and I think to probably a lot like there is a difference between doing and then the other thing is like, how public? Because the other thing people might think is like how public it is. Like, you know, if you're very serious about this. What if you have kids, like, you know, thinking about that.
Caller
Sure.
Stavros Halkias
Which again, there's ways to handle all that stuff. But they're all valid concerns and like, yeah. Is it. Is it like your secret thing? You have a fucking mask. You're wearing a fucking, you know, luchador mask and playing with your pussy and nobody really knows? Or do you have an Instagram account that's like the Naughty Nurse? You know what I mean? It's like you're tagging yourself. You're wearing your fucking scrub. You're tagging yourself in your home. Like, there's. There's also differences to how public you are about it, how much of your life it is. Because also, it's like. Anyway, so there's a ton of different stuff, but I think. I think relatively soon is the way to go. Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Yeah. But I think maybe not the first day.
Stavros Halkias
I don't think. I think maybe even first, second. Because the first two dates are sort of like you're feeling people out.
Mateo Lane
That's right.
Stavros Halkias
Right. I think it's kind of like, how much of a connection do you feel with someone? The way I look at it is like, how serious is this gonna be?
Caller
Right.
Stavros Halkias
If you feel like it might be serious, drop it. Like, date three. You know what I mean? Like, talk to somebody. Because, like, you don't want to build something with someone that. That you don't. You know, you don't want to build something and then, like, have this thing hanging over. Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Because obviously, if it's something that's weighing on you, then you probably want to say it sooner than later because you also don't want to feel like you're hiding something from somebody for a long time. Not that that doesn't necessarily mean it's bad. I don't think it's bad at all. But I'm sure it'll be on her mind. And if she likes someone, then she's gonna steep more into fear, you know? So just kind of be upfront about it, and she might be surprised with the responses that she gets.
Stavros Halkias
And look, also, there's. There's a way to look at it where it's like, look, if it comes up naturally. Where it's like, you're about work, and you're like, I'm a. You could be like, I'm a nurse. And I. You know, I also have. I have, like, another. I have an only Fans page. When it comes, she's like, I'm a
Mateo Lane
nurse, and I'm a nurse, and I'm a. Yeah. Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
But, yeah, I think it's the kind of thing where you don't need to drop it immediately. No, Right. I think you want to see if you're compatible with somebody.
Mateo Lane
Unless he met her from her only fans and was like, can I take you for a drink sometime?
Stavros Halkias
No, I don't think that's happening.
Mateo Lane
Okay.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Oh, nice. Hell yeah. We got a little peek into the gay mind.
Mateo Lane
I just would say, I don't know.
Stavros Halkias
Using only fans as a dating app. Let me say something.
Mateo Lane
Not as a dating app. I'm just saying it wouldn't. If some like, I have friends with only fans and it doesn't even cross my.
Stavros Halkias
I. I really find it hard to believe that like a straight guy is getting a date from an only fans creator that he like follows. Unless he's like a super fan or some shit. But even then, the relationship is very like trick or fin dom or something like that. I'm not saying it's impossible and I'm sure it's happened.
Caller
Right.
Stavros Halkias
Right. It's the same way. It's like, yes, some. Sometimes guys get the fuck strippers. It's rare. But every once in a while it happens. It's kind of like that. I would say, okay, you know, I don't think it's happening that way. And if that happens, I don't think the guy. I think then you have a whole different problem where it's like, is he only fetishizing me for my body? Whereas, like, if you meet someone who doesn't know it, it's like the exact opposite where it's like, is he going to see this as too, you know, to whatever. He's just not going.
Mateo Lane
On that note, she might find guys that find that empowering. I think, hey, my girl's really into, you know, she owns her sexuality. I think that's kind of hot.
Stavros Halkias
I do. Yeah, exactly. I think. I think basically you treat this like any kind of like, you know, like if telling somebody you have a kid, do they need to know the first date?
Mateo Lane
Well, that's a strict no for me.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, But. Yeah, yeah, but. So I don't know. I think you're fine. I think this is the kind of thing where it's like, if you start to feel a connection with someone. I think the range is dates two through four, depending on how serious the dates are and how much time you've spent with them.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, I think that's about right.
Stavros Halkias
And like, you feel it out. And I would even say it's like, if you. I don't know what kind of dating she's doing. If it's casual, I don't even know that you need to tell someone. You know what I mean?
Mateo Lane
Casual. I don't think I agree with you. I don't think.
Stavros Halkias
But I think she's. She's asking about if it gets serious. If it gets.
Mateo Lane
Yeah. Three to fourth.
Stavros Halkias
You'll know once you're feeling a connection with someone. The 2 to 4 range, I think, is where you drop that. And. And also just explain it. I mean, part of it is, like, if you need to. If you're doing sex work, but you're in control, you do it solo, you get the money directly. You know what I mean? You're not putting. You're not. It's not dangerous. Which is one of the nice.
Mateo Lane
How should she present it then? Because I think that she should say. Let's say that she really has a connection with somebody.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
And so they're. At that point, I think what she should say. We're like, okay, you know, I just want to tell you something. And to be. Just to be vulnerable with you, I'm a little nervous because I know that this can kind of freak people out, but.
Stavros Halkias
Right.
Mateo Lane
I do a solo. Only fans.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
And it's something that I love.
Stavros Halkias
I love doing it. It helps pay the bill. Like, I think it's realistic because if somebody's telling you I picked up safe solo sex work to help pay the
Mateo Lane
bills, but I don't have to be
Stavros Halkias
a real animal to be like, I don't think.
Mateo Lane
I don't think she. I don't think she should. She should not ask how he feels about that. No. Because implies that there's shame. What she should say is, this is what I do.
Stavros Halkias
Just letting you know, you know, and. Because I've. And you can even say, like, I'm feeling connection with you, and I want to put all my cards out on the table if this is something you're cool with or if it's not. And you know, either way. Well, it's like, either we move forward or we don't. And, you know, there's a million different reasons somebody might not. Who's gone on two good dates, might not go on a third. This happens to be one of them. You want to find that out sooner rather than later. Yeah, I think it's that simple.
Mateo Lane
I think that's that.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Wow.
Mateo Lane
We really. We should do.
Stavros Halkias
We're geniuses, dude. And our mom. And we.
Caller
We.
Mateo Lane
My mom's Liza.
Stavros Halkias
You ever heard of all that jazz? I was on that set. Finger popping at age five.
Mateo Lane
What could it. Sitting when you're alone in your room. Come to the cabaret, you. You fucking pussy. Jesus fucking Christ, dude.
Stavros Halkias
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Caller
What's up, Stav? What's up, Eldis? Look, I got not too big of a problem, but enough to where it drives me up a wall.
Stavros Halkias
Okay?
Caller
Feel baddie. Sometimes I absolutely love my girlfriend. She means the world to me. We're great. We really do great. Perfect relationship.
Stavros Halkias
Okay?
Caller
The only thing, we'll sit down at the end of a nice long day and she'll go, can we watch a movie? Sure, let's watch a movie.
Mateo Lane
Movie.
Caller
Doesn't matter. If she puts it on, I put it on. Whatever. But if it's like, if we're gonna watch a movie, let's watch the movie. Doesn't matter. It. Why do we even put the movie on? Because all she does is talk the whole time. She talks the entire time, asking me questions. What's going on? What's. What's happening?
Mateo Lane
I don't know.
Caller
I know as much as you do. Yeah, but I don't know how to tell her that in a nice manner. Because I really am. I'm a very nice, pleasant person. I'm a nice guy. I'm not an asshole. I'm not. I don't lash out. But this is the one thing that she does that makes me absolutely furious and makes my blood boil.
Stavros Halkias
And the more and more I believe
Caller
you, the quieter and more furious I get. And I don't want to blow up on her. I sound like an.
Stavros Halkias
But.
Caller
So, yeah, if you have any suggestions, any. Any thoughts on how I should approach this, how I should tell her this, because I just feel like any way I tell her, I can go to sound like an ass, but.
Stavros Halkias
So you've never had any idea.
Caller
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Mateo Lane
All right, I have an idea. But I have a question for both of you.
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Mateo Lane
Okay. Especially growing up in a Greek home because Italians, I've never. The TV's been on, right? I've definitely never heard it. Oh, there's too many people talking all at the same time.
Stavros Halkias
I watched a lot of stuff through chaos for sure, growing up because, like. Because, like, you own. There was only one tv, right? Like, but you're just like, kind of zeroing in and being like, shut the fuck. You know, being annoyed and like. And that's when getting your own TV was huge. Of course, like, we were of the age where it's like, I mean, dude, we age ourselves so much. Kids are gonna like, Gen Z hear this. And we're talking about getting a tv.
Mateo Lane
They've got their laptops, they've got their phones.
Stavros Halkias
It sounds like we're talking about washing our. Washing our clothes and hanging it out to dry on the. Which my mom did also do. Like, but. But it is funny that we really are on the cusp of like, we really were like, had. Did some things that were old world and some things that are like, you know, as. There was one TV. There was one. There was one TV for a lot of my life. I got a TV when I was like 13 or 14.
Mateo Lane
Imagine, everyone had to agree on the movie that they wanted to watch.
Stavros Halkias
You and your brother, you and your. Like, that's. Yeah, me and my brothers had to like, agree on stuff, right? Yes, I think. I mean, what about you? You. There's one TV I.
Elders
There.
Stavros Halkias
I do remember, like, you really did key. Like, you would, like, really watch stuff, though.
Elders
I remember watching stuff through chaos at the same time. I feel like with my family, it was a lot of like, communal time around the television and there's not a ton of talking going on. In fact, I have like, memories of like, my grandma or my mom is, like, washing a dish in the kitchen. And my dad's like, you keep that fucking shit down. Like, he just, like, blows up really disproportionately because he's watching, like, whatever bullshit is on that he doesn't even give a about.
Stavros Halkias
I actually do will say that's true. And I also think it's because your family actually respected America. And there was like. There was like a. Let's understand the culture aspect to your parents watching t. That.
Elders
That's interesting.
Stavros Halkias
Didn't really have, like, my dad hated American stuff. Like, he. He only watched TV when we got satellite and watched Greek TV around when I was around 11, and that's when we got ca. Like, we didn't have cable. And then for the first few years, they wouldn't add any cable packages. We got a satellite TV only for Greek stuff. And they're like, hey, it's like $4 more to get, like, all these channels. And my dad just wouldn't do it until we begged him for it. But anyway, like, this can I say,
Mateo Lane
though, I grew up, I filmed. One time, I was at my. My nana's house, and I had, like, five of my aunts were over and my grandpa, and they were watching Hoarders. My nana loves Hoarders.
Stavros Halkias
Was she a hoarder?
Mateo Lane
No, that house is. There's no cleaner house on earth. She loves Thousand Pound Sisters. That's one of her favorite people. And she loves. Game of Thrones is one of her favorite shows. She has a game. She has a Jon Snow mug. And she met him. She loves him. She loves. Oh, yeah.
Elders
So she did.
Mateo Lane
No, Thousand Pound Sisters is one of her favorite shows. You know, her in her house coat watching it. But anyways, we were watching it. I was home in Chicago, and I just realized, like, everyone's talking at the same time. They are screaming at the. And they're all trying to outdo each other and make each other laugh. So I just started filming it, and then I eventually sent it to Rachel Feinstein, who was like, I cannot believe this is the house you grew up. And I was like, they just are.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Like, they show, like, you know, the dead cat or my grandma. Oh, my God. My Aunt Lisa's like. And she's got him do this to the toilet to get the. To go down, you know, my grandpa's like, I can't hear the tv. He's blind. So anyway.
Stavros Halkias
But, yeah, no, it was never that bad. It was never that bad. It was just like, you know, noises happening. One TV parent, you know, everyone's in the same room. We never had that, like, boisterous. If anything, that would sometimes happen at holidays, like at Easter or Thanksgiving, when it is a bunch of Greek people. And then it became that, like, showing off, trying to get laughs. I'm definitely. As a child, that's one of the first places you're kind of performing before realizing it. But. And even that, I still remember, like, watching. That's how I saw Star wars for the first time. You know, clat. Like classic holiday movies, family vacation, all this kind of shit. I was. I was like. They showed me, like, my. My brother's godmother's kids who effectively were, like, older cousins in terms of, like, what they meant to us. They showed us so much American culture and movies every. Cause, like, my parents really did not give them. My mom did a little bit, but she was so overworked and my dad didn't give a fuck at all. But I will say this particular thing would drive me crazy.
Mateo Lane
Right.
Stavros Halkias
I will say, though, I have. Sometimes you go. You go out with, like, cinephiles, like, girls who are into movies, and you'll just. Just come. Like, you'll both just end up watching a movie and be too tired to fuck. That's the flip side of this is like, if you date someone who really locks into movies, you can think you're about to fuck and then just, like, end up watching the conversation or whatever. And so that. My advice here is kind of the flip side of my thing where it's like, I think you have to set different. There's different movies for different types of hangs. Yeah, right. I think what you need to do, you're never gonna eliminate. This is how your wife is programmed. This is how she wants to behave, whatever. So the compromise to me is you have movie night. You have movies that are almost designed to be talked over. So, like, look, if I want. If I want to invite, like, you know, don't. Don't put on a gripping drama and like, you know, don't put on a gripping drama and just expect her to fucking sit through it. It put on something goofy. We do that a lot. I feel like we're kind of the masters of that because, like, on the bus, they're really, you know, we'll watch fucking Seagal movies that you just don't really need to. You know, you want to pay attention to the fight scenes, but then there's big stretches where you don't have to really fucking listen and. Or put on a movie you've seen a hundred times and talk over. But I think you have to be like, hey, tonight we're doing a fucking, doing a movie where we pay attention. And I do think you need to kind of, I think you have to introduce the concept first.
Mateo Lane
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Like the fact that he's never said this to his wife. Yeah. You got to be like, you've just been silently stewing, and you should.
Mateo Lane
You.
Stavros Halkias
It is going to be a little not awkward, but it's gonna be like,
Mateo Lane
hey, picking up on that, like, heat. And she doesn't understand why, so she keeps talking.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
And he's not communicating, so she's like, did I do something wrong? Maybe if I engage more in the
Stavros Halkias
movie, he'll pay attention.
Mateo Lane
You know, this.
Stavros Halkias
I mean, stewing is never good. Never.
Mateo Lane
It's kind of cute that it's just about a movie. Like, they do sound like, that's, that is.
Stavros Halkias
That is cute. That is cute. But I think you should have the conversation. You'd be like, hey, this fucking drives me crazy. And it's like, let's have some, like, let's figure. And I think you need to explicitly be like, tonight's a talkie movie. You know what I mean? And tonight's. I could zip it up. You know what I mean? Like, I think, I think there are. Because, you know, I'm somebody who likes to watch. You know, we will throw on movies all the time. And yeah, there's a difference between if you put on Pulp Fiction, which I've seen a hundred times, we'll talk when something cool's about to happen, we'll watch that, we'll go back to talking. But if there's a movie I really want to fucking see, I think that's really. You just have to have a conversation and be like, what are we in the mood for tonight? Yeah, we're in the mood for just a fucking blabbering ass fucking. And maybe his wife is constantly in the mood for blabbering, but that's okay. That's what compromises. You do it some of the time. You do. You do it her way.
Mateo Lane
That's a perfect answer.
Stavros Halkias
I don't know, Elders.
Mateo Lane
That's like, literally perfect.
Stavros Halkias
As a married man, do you have any insight here, Eldon? Because I feel like you and your, you and your wife actually are pretty good about watching stuff together.
Elders
Yeah, we watch stuff. I, I, I definitely wouldn't say she does this sometimes. Like, we'll both do it where, you know, gossip maybe. Or we'll watch a movie. We'll watch A movie. And then she'll be like, oh, wait, why is he, is he her? Is he the dad or. And I do it too. And it's just like, you know, I think we're both like, are we missing something or. And a lot of times with movies like, like you have to watch and see how the plot unfolds and you may not know an answer.
Stavros Halkias
I don't fucking know. Let's find out.
Elders
So I don't know when that happens. I'm just like, oh, I don't think we know yet. Which is like, okay, let's keep watching.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Elders
But I don't know, it's never really that bad of a problem. But I think I, I really like, I don't think we know yet because that's like, I don't know. And it's like we have to keep, you're signaling. We have to continue watching to know what happens. The story hasn't unfolded that far.
Stavros Halkias
Right, Right.
Elders
Like I would probably say go for little tricks or signals like that rather than, rather than, you know what you're, what you're suggesting stuff I think is a good suggestion. But I think it could come off as like condescending a little where it's like, okay, it's like talking to a kid or something. It's like, okay, we're gonna watch Love is Blind now.
Stavros Halkias
I know. But also she's behaving like a child.
Elders
I don't know. Sometimes you just let loose and want to like talk your through a movie.
Stavros Halkias
Of course it's good. But of course. But I think there is times to do that. And I also think, I'm not saying do this all at once. I think it starts with a conversation. Right. You're like, hey, I gotta come clean about something. It's a bit of a pet peeve when we talk through movies and it's like, I don't want to sound like a dick. Sometimes we should just pick movies that we're not that invested in so we can talk and catch up. But there's going to be other times where I really want to watch a movie. I, I, it's more like it's not like, okay, you've been good. You get to talk through some dumb rom com use.
Mateo Lane
That can be talk here. No talking. No talking. Got it?
Stavros Halkias
You know, I'm serious.
Mateo Lane
Do that.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. I think as long as you put it in a way that's like, look, it's a little bit of a pet peeve.
Elders
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
Like let's certain time when we're Picking, like a really good movie that I want to see. I don't want to talk through it, you know, now other times where we're just kind of chilling and watching a dumb movie, and I think that just will naturally happen. Like, you know, if we're watching Independence Day, we'll talk over.
Mateo Lane
We should watch Independence. Ridiculous.
Stavros Halkias
I know. We just watched.
Mateo Lane
Did you ever hear Patrice o' Neal and Jim Norton talk about it on the radio years ago?
Stavros Halkias
Oh, no. Got to pull that up.
Mateo Lane
Is one of the funniest.
Stavros Halkias
Pull that up, guys. I'm sure it's funnier than this podcast. Take a break and watch. Actually, when comics cared about broadcasting, when it was like they were trying to prove themselves and not handed a million dollar job for barely caring. Look, I don't know why this is how it is either, okay? Don't get mad at me. It just happened this way. I don't know what. Anyway, I'm Elijah Manoli, son.
Mateo Lane
He's getting more aggressive.
Stavros Halkias
We did a great character. All right, next question. Eldest. Do a couple more here.
Caller
Hey, first time caller, long time listener. Star, eldest. Esteemed guests. I wanted to call in. I've called him before, honestly, with like the same question.
Stavros Halkias
Okay.
Caller
But I thought I could tell a little more succinctly.
Stavros Halkias
Nice.
Caller
So basically, I like eating right. Like, always have, whatever. Just always enjoyed it. And I've been with this girl for the last couple years, and it's going really well, you know, Rose young. We're really, really in love and all that. And, you know, I really love. And I don't know, this is starting to get to the point where it's like, it could be thinking about marriage, stuff like that. We're really young, so it's like a couple years away for sure. But still, that's awesome. I don't eat her. Right. Like, we've done it a couple times. But thing is, she has herpes. Right? And herpes ain't too big a deal. I've kind of accepted at some point through our relationship if we stay together for a long time. And that's looking like the case. Right.
Mateo Lane
Is he whispering because he's nervous or because she's next?
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I don't know why. He definitely is mush mouth and whispering. Got a yeah. Herpes. Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Okay.
Caller
Okay. But I've yet to contract it. Right. In like four years. So pretty much my question is, should I just say it and eat her? Should I just add that into the. The daily rotation, or should I just keep myself clean as long as I have? Can and when it happens, what happens then maybe I can go wild. But anyway, yeah, thank you.
Stavros Halkias
If you have any advice, an interesting quandary.
Mateo Lane
Here's what you're gonna fucking do.
Stavros Halkias
So his girl has herpes.
Elders
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
But I don't. Correct me if I'm wrong here. If she's. She takes her medicine, she doesn't have an outbreak, you can eat her pussy, right?
Mateo Lane
I think so.
Elders
I think so.
Stavros Halkias
Talk to a doctor. I think you can. Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Don't call Stavros the show. Speak to your practitioner.
Stavros Halkias
I do think I hooked up with somebody. She told me she had herpes after.
Mateo Lane
Oh.
Stavros Halkias
Which kind of a wild move. But I got tested and I'm clean. I've eaten somebody's pussy that had herpes without knowing it.
Mateo Lane
Am I eating someone's pussy that has herpes?
Stavros Halkias
I don't think I'm gonna guess.
Mateo Lane
No.
Stavros Halkias
For certain mitigating factors, I'm gonna guess no.
Mateo Lane
I feel like if you take your medicine, you should be fine.
Stavros Halkias
I think maybe if you plant it around when the medicine is the strongest and it's a treat to eat. Like. Like, I guess she doesn't. Is she self conscious about it? I don't understand. Well, I guess we don't know that.
Elders
We don't know.
Mateo Lane
But maybe she just thinks he doesn't like eating pussy.
Stavros Halkias
Sure. I think if she's on her medicine. Yeah. We've kind of Benny Buttcheeks, who does not have herpes, but he's talked on this podcast about how the stigma is too high for herpes, which I do kind of think it actually doesn't really affect your life that much once you get on the medicine, but I think you're okay, dude. I don't know. Talk to a doctor, Talk to a sex ed teacher. But I'm pretty sure you could eat your girlfriend's. As long as she's like, you know, don't, don't. If it's.
Mateo Lane
I mean, you're having sex, having an outbreak, I think you're fine.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. He's also her. So he's like, okay.
Mateo Lane
That's. My other thing is like, is he
Stavros Halkias
wearing a condom every time? Oh, that's crazy. But maybe give him a call.
Elders
Yeah, it is funny because this is like a bigger commitment than, like, proposing to her. He's like, should I give her the eating ring? The eating her?
Stavros Halkias
Should I risk getting oral herpes? Because I love doing it. I also respect this man. He's this. For the love of the game. I mean, dude, I think. I don't know. I Think this is a purely medical question. There's no emotional stuff. There's nothing else. Ask a doctor if you can eat with. If somebody has herpes.
Mateo Lane
I feel like the other. Just think you can. It's low risk.
Elders
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
I take herpes medicine every day.
Elders
Even if you don't have an outbreak, like, there is a risk. Risk or something, but I think they
Mateo Lane
have to say it. Like, bleach kills 99.9 of all germs. I can't say 100.
Stavros Halkias
It's one of those things that you're fine. My guess is you're probably fine.
Elders
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Right.
Stavros Halkias
And just. And maybe don't eat constantly, I guess, if it weighs on you. But at least get it in the mix, in the rotation a little more.
Elders
Yeah. Work up to.
Mateo Lane
I feel like, yeah, consult yourself, but
Stavros Halkias
again, consult a medical professional. This feels like a purely medical question,
Mateo Lane
but do you take medicine every day? Like, is it like, prep, like you take. Or like birth control? Do you take medicine every day?
Stavros Halkias
I have no idea. We should become more versed on this. If we have any herpes experts calling, we'd love to expand our base of knowledge. I wonder what that girl's up to. She was hot too, but I felt pissed because I was like. It was a. Like, you gotta. Because the thing is, if she would have told me, I would have been like, all right.
Caller
Right.
Stavros Halkias
But she just didn't tell me.
Elders
Maybe you should get it going one more time stuff for the good of the show and the. And the knowledge base so that I
Stavros Halkias
could tell this guy.
Mateo Lane
Yeah, you're acquiring more knowledge.
Stavros Halkias
She was awes. This was right after the pandemic, when pretty much everybody was. When New York lifted the ban. And it was awesome. That was the best that. That, that, like, post Covid summer in New York was.
Mateo Lane
Where were you during the pandemic?
Stavros Halkias
I was in Queens.
Mateo Lane
Oh, I was. Yeah. I was in Manhattan.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Yeah.
Mateo Lane
It's kind of one of the best summers ever.
Stavros Halkias
That summer was awesome.
Mateo Lane
Neil and Jose at the Cellar, just
Stavros Halkias
hanging out every day and I like that summer.
Mateo Lane
Oh, I, like, loved.
Stavros Halkias
That was good. That was awesome.
Mateo Lane
We collectively, like, every three years, take a summer off.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Just everyone's. You can't. Why not pick a place. You got two weeks to pick a place and then stay there.
Stavros Halkias
Sounds nice.
Mateo Lane
It was amazing.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Anyway, good luck. Godspeed. I think you could probably eat your girlfriend's. But talk to a doctor about it also.
Mateo Lane
Maybe just say to her you're feeling insecure. If you guys have been together that long, she'll understand. You guys should have a conversation about it. Maybe. Tonight's a talkie, not a talking.
Stavros Halkias
Is that part of it? Him feeling insecure? He's eat her.
Mateo Lane
No, I know, but he's feeling insecure around the fact that, like, I don't want to maybe talk to her about. He was whispering the whole time. I don't want to. I don't want to talk to her about it because he probably doesn't want to hurt her feelings.
Stavros Halkias
I really want to eat, but I don't want to get her bees. Is that okay?
Elders
That is true. I. I do wonder, like, how frankly they have discussed. Discussed herpes, probably. If she's been like, I have herpes. They both know it. And then he just assumes he can't either.
Mateo Lane
I would think he could then.
Elders
And maybe she doesn't even know herself. Maybe she's not that educated on it.
Stavros Halkias
It's very possible.
Elders
Has herpes and, you know.
Stavros Halkias
Well, she should.
Mateo Lane
I mean, once you get it, you should. She should know, right? Your doctor has to sit you down and be like this maybe.
Elders
How many times do you get sick and, like, you know, you barely.
Stavros Halkias
Not really follow the instructions. Don't take all your antibiotics.
Caller
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
You gotta finish them.
Stavros Halkias
I do. I do now.
Mateo Lane
Okay.
Stavros Halkias
But you know. But yeah, I think you're fine. I didn't for much of my life.
Mateo Lane
Right.
Stavros Halkias
Place another one. Little eldest.
Caller
Stavi. Wondering if it's morally incorrect to not want an ugly masseuse.
Stavros Halkias
Yes. Next question.
Mateo Lane
What the are you talking about?
Stavros Halkias
You know, is she good at massaging?
Caller
I don't know if that's completely wrong.
Stavros Halkias
A dude.
Mateo Lane
What did he say? Go back.
Stavros Halkias
Is he gay?
Caller
If it's more.
Stavros Halkias
Is this guy straight and wants a hot male masseuse?
Elders
You guys are doing the movie thing right now. Just, like, listen to the call.
Stavros Halkias
All right.
Mateo Lane
Talking to the Greek.
Stavros Halkias
All right, go ahead, Go ahead.
Caller
Morally incorrect to not want an ugly masseuse, even. Even if it's a dude, you know, I mean, I just don't want an ugly masseuse. I don't know if that's completely wrong.
Stavros Halkias
It's weird. It's weird to think down.
Caller
Obviously, wanting an attractive person to rub your entire body is inherently sort of,
Stavros Halkias
you know, you're turning it sexual, basically.
Caller
It's got to be a little bit wrong.
Mateo Lane
Williams,
Caller
A larger Mediterranean man, thought on this. Only one thought not to. Thank you very much.
Stavros Halkias
That's it. That's the whole question. Oh, what's up, Shop?
Mateo Lane
Evan Williams, man. Yo.
Stavros Halkias
What? What if a hot guy touch my Ass man, the little guy. 7 Dude. So I would say yes. I also see where you're coming from. Like, I actually, I'm working on a bit about this. I don't think it'll make this special, but it's like, it is like crazy how people just want like. Like if you get a ugly. If you go to a restaurant, you get the ugly waitress. You're pissed. But it's like, why? Who cares?
Mateo Lane
I've never even thought of that.
Stavros Halkias
What if she's all right? Well, you know, you just would rather. I think there is a general inclination for humanity to want a more beautiful. Just the best of whatever best in general terms. And so I get. I sort of get it. But I also think what's best in a masseuse is their ability to give you a massage.
Mateo Lane
That's right.
Stavros Halkias
Like to me, I guess all things being equal, if you get the best masseu two masseuses that are equally skilled and one is hot and one is not, I guess I would prefer the hot one just cause.
Mateo Lane
Right.
Stavros Halkias
But all things are very rarely ever equal. Right. Ultimately it's like I and I. You know what, this happened to me where I got somebody who was like, you know, kind of busted, but they were good at giving a massage and so who cares? And I would probably argue, argue the uglier person is better at their job because hot people get away with a lot.
Mateo Lane
I don't think he's worried about the actual.
Stavros Halkias
Well, that's, that's what's going on here. Is this guy just talk. Is he trying to get a Thailand on the beach style massage?
Mateo Lane
If you're talking about he wants to be finished.
Stavros Halkias
Are you talking about a happy ending? Is that what you're talking about? But like, if you're talking about a non sexual massage, it's weird for you to care. How so? Like, is it wrong? I guess it's not wrong unless you're not booking sessions because they're ugly. But I guess it's not wrong. It's just weird is how I come down on it. It doesn't affect your life. It doesn't. You don't. Being hot is not part of being a masseuse, an actual masseuse. You know what I mean? So if you're actually getting a massage, I get a massage. It's not like I'm attracted to the person who gives me a massage. Like right now because of my back. I've been getting like a regular and I found someone who's like, you know, I don't want to fuck them. But I've been going back because they're a great masseuse. Like that's all there is to it. I don't understand like you do put him saying even if it's a dude is fascinating because is it a vanity thing?
Mateo Lane
Because for someone to say only someone who's attractive can touch me. And it makes me feel like, what who are you?
Stavros Halkias
I know that's the interesting thing is like what is at the base of that feeling? Immediately knee jerk. We. We think sexual, right?
Mateo Lane
Is it that looks maxing guy clavicular?
Stavros Halkias
Is it?
Mateo Lane
Maybe, yeah.
Stavros Halkias
I mean but that's a good point. That's a van. That's a type of vanity. That's almost like this is where like our society is kind of going backwards in a lot of ways. Where like, yeah, just be openly saying like I want hot people to fucking. I only want to be around hot people. It's like most people aren't hot. By saying like you're like. It's just weird to want to take to get. I guess sort of this. If it was up to you, this guy, he would discriminate against ugly masseuses. And that's the wrong part of it because I think our society cannot reward like we have. We can't. You know, meritocracy is what we want to have a functioning society. We can't go back to like. Like it's kind of old world ass villager thinking to be like, I need a hot purse. Everyone around me needs to be hot. It's like everyone around you to be good at their job.
Mateo Lane
But it's oddly, I think some. Some people are chronically online. And when you're chronically online, you start to see obviously the best of the best, like the hottest people on the beach, the hot this and that. So you start to think to yourself, I've curated this life. You know, even if you play video games, you select a hot character. You select.
Stavros Halkias
You were just talking about Hassan. He's stupid. He's just hot, hot. This is my friend. I can on him.
Mateo Lane
He is very hot. It's kind of a problem. He knows he's got a big gay following as a result, right? He's like this straight guy with this huge following in those cheekbones.
Stavros Halkias
He knows what he's doing.
Mateo Lane
I just don't think why do knows what he's doing. It doesn't make sense.
Stavros Halkias
I don't know what to tell.
Mateo Lane
Give me the cheekbones. But yeah, I think maybe he's chronically online. He starts to think that like Everything has to be curated to his quote unquote taste. Like, not everyone in life has to look like your explorer page.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. There's something kind of sinister, honestly, about wanting hot. Only hot people around.
Mateo Lane
Because the bringing up the guy thing
Stavros Halkias
is also saying even the guy means it's not sexual. I agree. Or you're bi, which is fine.
Mateo Lane
No, I agree, but I don't think,
Stavros Halkias
I think it's purely an aesthetics thing.
Mateo Lane
I agree.
Stavros Halkias
And it's purely like only the most beautiful. And it's like, look, most society isn't beautiful.
Mateo Lane
Now if I saw a picture of him, he was the hottest man in the world.
Stavros Halkias
Be like, okay, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. If he was a piece of ass, maybe it's different.
Mateo Lane
I'm joking, I'm joking.
Stavros Halkias
But even then I feel like. I feel like hot people like to be around the ugly. Like, like they're doing charity work. They feel like, you know, so yeah, dude, I would say that is weird and you should interrogate that thought. And it's a bad. I do think it's unbalanced bad to have that thought process. Even though I don't think, I'm not even. I'm not being judgmental towards you because I understand the sort of knee jerk reaction. But it's also like if you do the math on that thinking you get back to a society that like ignores disabled people is racist. Because now if we're talking about beauty, we're talking about a lot of beauty standards tend to be racist. So it's like when he's saying beautiful, is he talking about people that aren't whatever ethnicity he is or whatever or what, you know, light skinned, whatever. Like the fair. Fair. Com. Like this kind of western beauty standard stuff.
Mateo Lane
By the way, I watched this documentary about the history of art and do you know what the problem is and why we are still stuck on specific beauty standards? Greece was Greece.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah.
Mateo Lane
Because there was so many different cultures of different beauty standards. But the Greeks invented a specific, not just style.
Caller
Right.
Mateo Lane
And so we're still. If you look at magazines, they were stuck on the ancient Greek ideal of beauty.
Stavros Halkias
Even though they weren't blonde and blue. You know what I mean? Like, it's because they're that white marble. It's like if you were to see
Mateo Lane
them, they weren't even white marble then. They were.
Stavros Halkias
They painted them. But I mean what we see is white marble.
Mateo Lane
Sure.
Stavros Halkias
You know, like what we. What. What has become. Which is so fascinating because actually the real stuff was garish over the top color that they loved.
Mateo Lane
But the proportions and like how they were, like the positioning and their body and the like the face, like it. That sort of is still stuck today.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Well, listen, you know, I get it as part of. I'm kind of. I do have that ideal Greek beauty. You can trace my lineage right back.
Mateo Lane
You're really handsome.
Stavros Halkias
So I appreciate.
Mateo Lane
You must know this.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah, I appreciate that. I do think I. For. For what? From. I've said before, for my stats, I'm the best you could look if you have my. On paper weight, height, you know, all my stats. I'm crushing those stats for sure. But I think that's. This is an interesting philosophical question. And I think ultimately, yes, it's. I don't. Again, I'm not judging you for like the knee jerk reaction, but that's something you need to fight. That's the, that's the part of like human sort of like, that's. That's what our society was evolved to get past. And we're unfortunately going backward. I mean, that's pure, you know, Wester. This fake. Exactly. These fake make ancient Greek return memes. Like the racist with the marble PFPs and shit like that. The like profile pics. Oh, they'll have like marble, really? On Twitter. And like, like the like Western, which, you know, Western ideals, which are just white supremacists.
Mateo Lane
Right.
Stavros Halkias
You're seeing a lot of that right now. And I think that thinking is connected. I think we need to live in a society that's merit. Merit based. That you ugly people get as much of a shot at being your masseuse as anybody else. Ultimately, what they. Well, yeah, it's like what they're fighting for. To rub this shoulders. Who cares? But that's the, that's where it starts.
Mateo Lane
Saying it out loud that way puts it pretty plain for this guy. Like, hey, you do have a problem.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Or you're just trying to get jacked off.
Elders
Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
It's purely sexual. And he's a bisexual. And that's a different issue. Go ahead, Elvis.
Elders
I was gonna say, I think he should like, just pay attention to his own internal process, like during and after the massage tube. Because. Because even if they're hot, they could give you a shitty massage and you'll feel that in your body.
Mateo Lane
Totally.
Elders
And that alone should be like, okay. Maybe that initial reaction you have is like, nice, they're pretty hot when they walk in the room. Should be like, okay, they are hot. But that. No, I wish I had like someone busted who knew what they were doing.
Stavros Halkias
I. I actually think I'm opposite where I like. I do judge a hot person at anything.
Mateo Lane
Right.
Stavros Halkias
Where I'm like, like, are you really this smart, hot doctor? I've said this before. Hate to see a hot doctor. Pisses me off because, you know, they got some preferential treatment and they're at least a couple percentage points dumber than they think they are. Somebody who's really up looking, got no breaks.
Mateo Lane
But also the hot doctor is going to have a bit of a wall up because he's afraid that or she or they are going to be afraid that the person wants to them because they're a doctor and they're hot. So now they're getting even more.
Stavros Halkias
Maybe they're cold. Who knows. Yeah, but. But yeah, I think this is an interesting thing to bat around in your head and think about where these feelings are coming from. Why don't you play a quick one to take us out, Elder? Something fun.
Elders
Here's a response to Remember the Maria and Alex episode. The the gentleman from Manitoba with that goofy ass voice.
Stavros Halkias
I do remember him. Yes.
Elders
This is someone responding to them.
Caller
Hey, here's the fun one to go out on. I just got done with the. This is like a response.
Stavros Halkias
Okay. I don't like. Pause this. You're getting really sloppy with the ones to go out on. Ok?
Elders
What do you mean?
Stavros Halkias
This is just the guy telling you it's one to go out on.
Elders
Ok. I'm going to be fully transparent here. I originally intended to go out on the masseuse question, kind of a philosophical one, but this one, you know, got it in the vault.
Stavros Halkias
You've just blown it a couple times and this guy recently and this guy's saying it's the one to go out on.
Elders
That's not. They don't need to say that. I know which ones to do.
Stavros Halkias
I'm just saying I don't like that you're letting the audience prompt you. But anyway, go ahead. This. This might work. I'm just letting. This is just a little warning shot to get on your game again.
Elders
All right.
Stavros Halkias
Get some good quick ones to go out on that are funny. Go ahead.
Caller
It just got done with the. This is like a response plea. Even. I just got done with the episode with the like deep Canadian guy. Yes. Who has really deep Canadian boys. He was like slightly embarrassed about it. I was thinking it. The whole answer. It was buzzing in my brain the whole time you guys were answering and then stop. You said it yourself. Start streaming. I mean this. It's full sincerity. I'm not around. You seem funny. Like, like, not only do. There's a lot of success in streamers that have, like, that one eccentric thing about them or, like, unique personality trait or something. But like you said during the question, some sort of Canadian slang that. I can't remember what it was, but it was funny. I was like, I want to hear more of that. And I think a lot of people do. Especially if you're like the type who doesn't play video games too much, you should be playing, like, anime dating games. I think people would really, really laugh their ass with how you would respond to that. But in a, like you said, sincere, good way. It's got nothing to do with the tone of your voice. It's. It's the slang. It's these. I gotta hear it. Please do your thing. Let me know. Get out on the Internet so I can watch it.
Stavros Halkias
This guy wants to hear this guy talk. So for you, Mateo, it was a guy who had a very deep, I think he said, Manitoba accent.
Caller
Okay.
Stavros Halkias
No, not deep voice. Just like this. Yeah, it was kind of crazy. It was an insane voice. It was cool, though. It was very distinct. And he called in, you know, asking for kind of like help. Marie really, really was being. Let's just say Marie and the guy who asked about the hot masseuse or how were being. Have a lot in common there. Marie was being very ableist, if you can call it that. And she. And we pressed her on and she stood firm. She was a speech pathologist. But. But this is another. This is another take. And I think he. What I. I actually do believe, like, there is some wholesomeness to the inner, like, as much as there is just garbage. There are some wholesome pockets. And I really could see this guy being kind of a wholesome fun streamer that people like seeing. That's my take. You heard it, buddy. That's another guy. We hope our. Our friend over in the Great White north is doing okay, but, yeah, somebody thinks he should stream. That's gonna do it for us. That's fun. That's good. Enough stuff. Mattel. You're streaming. People can see you.
Mateo Lane
Streaming? Yeah.
Stavros Halkias
You're on tour.
Mateo Lane
I'm on tour. Matalaincomedy.com when does this come out?
Stavros Halkias
A couple weeks, probably.
Mateo Lane
Okay. I'll probably be in Europe by then. Oh, by the way, we haven't announced it yet, but I am going to be going to perform in Athens for
Stavros Halkias
the first time in the fall.
Mateo Lane
So I'm gonna be there for. For three days. I'm pretty sure in September. We're going over.
Stavros Halkias
I might be there.
Mateo Lane
Are you serious?
Stavros Halkias
I might. I don't know. I haven't planned my September trip yet, but I might. Rose, I've already turned down actually, again, I've turned down a bunch of shit so that I can go to Greece this year. I just turned down a big money gig to be like, you know what? Fuck it, I'm going to Greece. So I will be there probably late August to early September.
Mateo Lane
And this would be mid September.
Stavros Halkias
You might, we might catch each other. That'd be so awesome.
Mateo Lane
That would be awesome.
Stavros Halkias
I'll try and do. We'll, we'll talk about it afterwards. But yeah, I, I'm planning on being there from late August to at some point in September. It just depends. So. Yeah, but I would love to make it work so we get all. We could hang out in Greece. That'd be so sick.
Caller
Sick.
Stavros Halkias
Yeah. Ghosty Mateo, very funny. You got the podcast with Nick, who's also been on the pod. Check that out. And yeah, we're, we're, we're probably about to hit the bus right now. Check us out. And yeah, a lot going on. See you next week, guys. Bye. Bye. Hey everybody.
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Stavros Halkias
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Elders
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Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Matteo Lane
Main Theme: Comedy careers, acting gigs, showbiz in today’s world, queer experiences, cosmetic procedures, Broadway, dating advice, pop culture, and listener call-ins.
In a warm, freewheeling discussion, Stavros welcomes comedian and frequent guest Matteo Lane. The two dive into the quirks of the entertainment business—from stand-up to acting roles to Broadway. They riff on body image and “typecasting” in showbiz, the comedy of cosmetic enhancements, queer experiences as performers, and the odd indignities of adulthood. The main part of the show is dedicated to listener call-ins, with the pair offering no-nonsense, funny, and often heartfelt advice on relationships, sex, self-image, and navigating societal stigmas.
The episode’s tone is friendly, irreverent, and honest—offering sharp comedic insights with a big heart. Whether it’s showbiz gossip or sincere life advice, Matteo and Stav deliver with charm and hilarity.