#180 - Robert Smigel

Summary

STAVVY’S WORLD #180 — ROBERT SMIGEL
Released: May 11, 2026
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Robert Smigel (and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog)

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Episode Overview

This episode features comedy legend Robert Smigel, acclaimed writer and performer best known for SNL, TV Funhouse, and, of course, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Smigel joins Stavros for a rollicking conversation about his circuitous path from almost-dentist to comedy powerhouse, the evolution of late-night and sketch humor, and his new advice- and punch-up-oriented podcast, Humor Me. The pair roast each other, riff wildly, reminisce about iconic comedy figures, and give the audience the classic “Stavvy’s World” mix of nostalgia, insight, and risky advice.

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Memorable Opening: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Roasts Stavi

[01:21–09:53]

• Triumph kicks off the show with a barrage of roasts aimed at Stavros, riffing on his looks, career, and weight with lines like:

  • "You have this magnetic personality and not just because your body has its own gravitational— You’re like me, you know, you’re foul-mouthed, you’re a politically incorrect liberal." (Triumph, 02:39)
  • "You became famous on Comptown. And I’m not referring to your beard come-down." (Triumph, 04:11)
  • "Did you have a nice Easter? Tell me, what colors did the kids paint you this year? [...] May I suggest celebrating Passover just to go a week without bread for once." (Triumph, 05:00–05:18)

• A rapid-fire, classic ‘Triumph’ bit: genuinely funny, a little edgy, and sets the tone for the celebration of irreverent comedy to come.

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Basketball, Comedy Roots, and Chicago vs. NYC

[13:16–18:16]

• The pair bond over 2000s NBA nostalgia, especially Jason Kidd’s Nets, before pivoting to Smigel’s upbringing.
  • Smigel clarifies he’s New York-born but got his comedy start in Chicago.
  • Reveals he initially pursued dentistry, following in his innovator-dentist dad’s footsteps ("My father was a really talented dentist. He developed tooth bonding.” 15:51), before realizing it wasn’t for him.
  • “I had no ambition to do anything but be funny.” (16:59)

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On Finding Comedy: From Corny Improv to TV Writing

[18:16–36:13]

• Smigel discusses his evolution from class clown and notebook doodler to NYU pre-dent student, to discovering stand-up and improv as a real career pathway.
  • Fond childhood memories of drawing and imitating teachers: "There’s a part of me that misses totally just being... just totally from inspiration, whenever—when you’re not supposed to be doing it." (18:44)
• Explains the pros and limitations of improv (Second City, Players Workshop), how Second City’s method of workshopping sketches live was more valuable to him than “gamey” improv.
  • "I want to do stuff that’s funny because it’s funny, not because it’s off the top of my head... Improv was a useful tool, but as a magic trick; sketch is what I love." (32:55)

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SNL: Fanboy to Head Writer, Influences, and the SNL Family

[35:32–46:46]

• Smigel shares his fanatical devotion to SNL as a kid and describes his unlikely hire as a writer during the massive 1985 cast and crew overhaul.
  • "I was really the first fanboy—SNL fanboy 85. When I was a teenager, we would stop our high school parties... to watch Saturday Night Live." (42:53)
• Candid about his awe for Lorne Michaels and refusing to recommend friends except Bob Odenkirk, whom he calls the funniest person in Chicago.
  • “He was a fully formed comedian... That’s probably why he didn’t succeed at SNL more—he didn’t care.” (45:07)

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The Unique Challenges and Joys of SNL and Conan

[55:00–68:51]

• Smigel recounts his first stand-up experiences at NYU, the comic strip contest, and ultimately landing a spot at SNL.
  • “I was one of three winners... and then I got a spot at the Comic Strip. That changed everything.” (50:31)
• Discusses learning to write for SNL’s big personalities—how Lorne taught him the writer’s job is to make the cast look good.
  • “If you make the cast look good, you’ll look good.” (63:03)
• Talks about launching Conan’s show, making a conscious effort to be original—"Not doing what Dave [Letterman] did."
  • "We can do a lot of performance-oriented stuff... For us it was like, this is going to be our playground." (67:21–67:48)

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Comedy Legacy: TV Funhouse, Triumph, and Influence

[20:02–25:17]; [66:13–75:45]

• The impact of bits like Ambiguously Gay Duo, TV Funhouse, and Triumph.
  • “Triumph started where the joke was entirely on Triumph... three out of four punchlines were just, ‘for me to poop on.’” (21:07)
• Smigel graciously acknowledges Stavi's “Baltimore Ravens fans” character is a riff on SNL’s Superfans, and how comedy evolves.
  • “But it’s just universal sports fanaticism and stuff. That’s a much less direct ripoff than...” (24:22)

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The New Pod: Humor Me

[75:46–78:19]

• Smigel promotes his podcast, Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends.
  • Inspired by his wife, the show features comedians helping listeners punch up wedding toasts, job interviews, etc., and includes “epilogues” to see if the advice worked.
  • “It’s a lot of fun... even if we come up with bad ideas, they’re funny because they’re inappropriate somehow.” (75:51)

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Audience Advice Calls & Notable Responses

1. Should I Wait to Get Tattoos for Grandma’s Inheritance?

[78:38–85:16]
Caller: Grandma will cut him out of the will if he gets a tattoo—tattoos might help him with goth girls. What to do?

• Stav: “Why does it have to be a tattoo? Buy a goth a tattoo, wear black, get eyeliner—plenty of ways to be goth.” (81:27)
• Smigel: “Find another way to attract women—develop a personality.”
• Conclusion: Wait on the tattoo, find other goth traits, and try not to time grandma’s death.

2. Neighbor’s Kid Peeing in Yard—Should I Confront?

[90:49–98:56]
Caller: Neighbor’s 3-year-old son pees outside—wife wants a confrontation.

• Smigel: “It could be so much worse than a 3-year-old peeing.”
• Stav: “Gentle humor, keep it jokey, do not go ‘serious meeting’ on this. It’s just a kid.”
• Conclusion: Downplay—don’t insert shame, don’t escalate, and keep perspective.

3. Sex Worker’s Dilemma—Hot Client Broke Condom

[99:03–108:11]
Caller: Client confesses to previous condom break/nut; she’s into him but unsure about safety/boundaries.

• Stav: “You have to set boundaries. Set a standard for every client by which you stay safe.”
• Smigel (playfully): “What about the fact that he confessed? Isn’t there a place for forgiveness?”
• Both: Ultimately, err on the side of professional caution—ask experienced sex workers, but don’t let pleasure override safety.

4. Regulars Tip Too High, Should I Stop Them?

[110:09–122:52]
Caller: Other bartenders tip him $30–40 on $30 tabs, and he feels guilty.

• Smigel: “It’s like a coke dealer saying to another, ‘You doing ok?’”
• Stav: “Circle of life, buddy. Don’t ask. Enjoy the extra money or donate it if you feel weird.”
• Both: Don’t paternalize older regulars, especially if they’re in the industry—they know what they’re doing.

5. Should I Trip Alone in Amsterdam?

[123:00–134:08]
Caller: Planning a trip with a sober friend—should she still indulge?

• Stav: “If your friend’s cool, do drugs. Everyone should get one day for themselves on a trip.”
• Smigel: “Make sure your friend’s cool with it—one day is fine, a whole week might get strained.”
• Conclusion: Balance experience, respect your friend, enjoy (reasonably) the unique Amsterdam experience.

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Closing Thoughts, Career Reflections & Notables

• Smigel shares stories from movies (Punch-Drunk Love, cameos in Sandler films, and Curb Your Enthusiasm), updates on his new role ("I’ve grown out this beard because I’m about to play a rabbi in a show I can’t say what show"), and deep affection for Adam Sandler’s trajectory into dramatic roles.
  • “Punch-Drunk Love is still [Sandler’s] best performance.” (137:55)
• Gratitude and Goodbyes: Smigel—“I come from a totally different generation but I really had a great time and this is an incredible show.” (140:30)
• Triumph returns for one last “for me to poop on.”

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SUPER MEMORABLE MOMENTS/QUOTES

• "No, let’s go through your incredible career that led you to this show in this incredibly shitty apartment..." (Triumph as Smigel, 03:27)
• “It’s a miracle I got hired because I know a lot of funny people that never did anything... I never take it for granted.” (44:27)
• “If you make the cast look good, you’ll look good.” (63:03)
• “Your friend isn’t judging you? That’s all you can ask.” (127:42)
• “Don’t let pleasure override your safety boundaries, especially with clients.” (106:13)
• “Be the Kevin Spacey you wish to see in the world.” (114:11, in context: Pay It Forward, not...yikes)
• “I don’t know enough about the guy. Can we have the guy call in?” (106:47)
• "No joke, for you I can edit, but...no, I respect your lack of professionalism." (Smigel/Triumph, 09:05)
• "Subscribe...wherever artists are exploited." (78:12)

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IMPORTANT TIMESTAMPS

• [01:21–09:53] — Triumph roasts Stavros
• [13:16–18:16] — Basketball, comedy roots, dentistry days
• [20:02–25:17] — Evolution of Triumph and TV Funhouse, impact on modern comedy
• [35:32–46:46] — Smigel’s SNL beginnings, Chicago roots
• [55:00–68:51] — Stand-up stories, SNL writing philosophy
• [75:46–77:52] — Launching "Humor Me" podcast and its unique format
• [78:38–85:16] — Grandma’s will & tattoos call
• [90:49–98:56] — Toddler peeing outside call
• [99:03–108:11] — Sex worker’s ethical/professional boundaries question
• [110:09–122:52] — Should I refuse huge tips from fellow bartenders?
• [123:00–134:08] — Amsterdam drugs dilemma

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SUMMARY

This extra-long, extra-jam-packed episode of Stavvy’s World is a joyride for comedy nerds: part roast, part oral history, part real-world advice with the legendary Robert Smigel. Smigel’s humility and openness about his failures, anxieties, and love of the craft are both hilarious and uniquely wise. The episode offers not just amazing inside baseball about humor writing and TV, but a celebration of what makes the “comedy ecosystem” — from open mics to SNL, from puppet dogs to group podcasts — so much fun. And yes, if you call in, you just might get roasted...for you to poop on.

Transcript

[Stavi]

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[Robert Smigel]

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[Stavi]

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[Robert Smigel]

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[Stavi]

Welcome everybody, to stop these world. 904-800-stop.

[Robert Smigel]

Call in.

[Stavi]

We'll solve your problems. We have an incredible episode. Robert Smigel is here, a hero of mine, one of the funniest guys. But he. One of his friends, a very high profile friend of his.

[Robert Smigel]

He.

[Stavi]

He will not stay for the whole episode. But he did have some things he wanted to get off his chest so very quickly, like.

[Robert Smigel]

Whoa.

[Stavi]

Triumph the insult comic dog.

[Robert Smigel]

It's Davi, baby.

[Stavi]

That's me.

[Robert Smigel]

What a thrill.

[Stavi]

Thank you for being here, Triumph.

[Robert Smigel]

Thank you. Aren't I a good actor?

[Stavi]

You're incredible.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm so excited. No, Stavy baby. Yes. So exciting. Everyone calls you Starvie baby. Am I correct?

[Stavi]

That's right, Triumph.

[Robert Smigel]

I understand. That's because you look like someone rolled an infant around the barbershop floor. Am I right?

[Stavi]

That's actually not right.

[Robert Smigel]

That's not correct. Okay.

[Stavi]

It's just kind of.

[Robert Smigel]

It sounds like some kind of joke that was pre written then.

[Stavi]

No, no, that's just. Yeah, just. I don't know. A nickname has nothing to do with me being an infant rolled on discarded hair.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, all right, I'll take your word for it. Well, let me ask you this. You know.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You started the show with OPA, which implies that you're Greek, right?

[Stavi]

Right.

[Robert Smigel]

100% Greek. I understand.

[Stavi]

100%.

[Robert Smigel]

And yet the God that you're most associated with is Buddha, because Buddha has a huge stomach. And this gentleman to my right also. Well, you get the idea. You have eyes. But you know, I'm kidding. I kid. I kid.

[Stavi]

Of course. Thank you.

[Robert Smigel]

You are so Likable. That's why you're a hit, you know? You have this magnetic personality and not just because your body has its own gravitational. You're like me, you know, you're foul mouthed. You're a politically incorrect liberal. It's okay. Don't do it in the middle of my jokes and do it maybe after the punchline, you know.

[Stavi]

Boy, I'm sorry. Triumph.

[Robert Smigel]

Have you learned nothing from Conan? Watching him all these years? It's okay, it's okay. He's still talented, folks, I assure you. No, you have this wonderful magnetic personality. Did I already do this joke?

[Stavi]

I have my own gravitational field.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, I did that one. My God.

[Stavi]

What about what?

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, I am like 700 years in human years at this point, so I'm entitled to a little abyssal Alzheimer's. Okay, you're like me. You're foul mouthed. You're politically incorrect liberal who few people realize is an actual human being. You're just like me. You see? No, let's go. But let's go through your incredible career that led you to this show in this incredibly shitty apartment you started. You have low standards and it's okay, you know, you need to have low standards when you look in the mirror. Okay, you became famous on comptown. Am I right?

[Stavi]

That's right, that's right.

[Robert Smigel]

And I'm not referring to your beard come down. Now, that was known as the flagship podcast of quote unquote, the Dirt bag Left.

[Stavi]

I suppose.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes, which is.

[Stavi]

Some people have called it that.

[Robert Smigel]

Coincidentally, that's also what everyone says when you leave a room. The Dirt bag Left. No, but honestly, I'm a huge fan. Now, this is a good time now for good time for the mouth. Yes, there we go. Now, honestly, I'm a huge fan. I mean, honestly, you are as funny as you are gross. No, that's not fair. That's not fair at all. Because a gross is 144lbs and you look much closer to 315. 320. Did you have a nice Easter?

[Stavi]

I did, I did.

[Robert Smigel]

Tell me, what colors did the kids paint you this year? See, now we're unpleasant subjects, the holidays. By the way, I know you're not Jewish, but you might want to. May I suggest celebrating Passover just to go a week without bread for once.

[Stavi]

I'll keep it in mind. Triumph. Thank you. I deserve a cigar.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay. But no, you're wonderful. You look at this guy, you're so down to earth. You know, fame hasn't changed you. One pound and it's great. Not Today. But it's great that we like to still wear Hawaiian shirts. Even though Hawaiians are constantly trying to roast you on a stick. You see? Again, because of. Now, that's an either or with this joke. So you and editing can decide. You know, I know you've been eating. I understand you've been eating better lately.

[Stavi]

A little bit, sure.

[Robert Smigel]

Lots of fruits and vegetables. Even though every time you have an apple in your mouth, people think they're at the luau. You'll see. Okay, so that's an either or.

[Stavi]

I think we keep them both. I think we keep them both.

[Robert Smigel]

Whatever you say. You know, I don't maybe see how the sausage are made or eaten. No, you're wonderful. He's so much more than a fat podcaster. Honestly, I am really simplifying the complex site that you have before you. For example, this is an actor. I loved you in Begonia.

[Stavi]

Oh, thank you.

[Robert Smigel]

It's like you were born to play a child molesting cop.

[Stavi]

I think there's a little more to it than that, but, yeah. Thank you.

[Robert Smigel]

More to it than that? With the aliens and all that? No. You know what? By the way, I read you inspired another movie. I read that the writer, Andy Weir, got the idea for Aliens eating the sun in Project Hail Mary after seeing you at the breakfast buffet.

[Stavi]

That kind of metaphorically inspired him.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, not pretty much metaphorically.

[Stavi]

I could literally eat the sun. Triumph. What you're accusing me of.

[Robert Smigel]

Why are you putting yourself down like that? Dream big. Come on, Stavi. You're doing great. He's in an Apatown movie and he's worried about eating the sun. You can do it. I understand he's in Apatown. He's everywhere. You're also on tires because a regular couch can't support you. That's a thinker. That's a thinker. And people love your film. Let's Start the Cult. You know, that's where it all began. You shot that movie, I understand, for under a million dollars.

[Stavi]

Yep.

[Robert Smigel]

Despite a $900,000 craft service budget. Yes. No, it's about the name of that movie should have been not let's Start the Cult. Let's finish those cold cuts. But people love this man. People love you because even though you're still anti woke, you lean heavily to the left. But then sometimes you also lean to the right. The point is, you need to lean on something in order to stand up for more than a couple of minutes. Lean. I know you've been through a lot in your life. I don't want to joke. You know, not long ago, things looked much darker, and you were kind of falling apart. And all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put you back together again. That's gonna bump with the earlier egg joke.

[Stavi]

I think you've got it confused with Humpty Dumpty.

[Robert Smigel]

Well, I'm worried about the earlier egg joke, you know. Yeah, it's gonna. Step on it.

[Stavi]

Right. Right.

[Robert Smigel]

So that's, again, up to the editors.

[Stavi]

Sure. We don't. I don't know if you're familiar with the program Triumph. We don't do a lot of editing yet.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, my goodness. I forgot that.

[Stavi]

For you, we can, but.

[Robert Smigel]

No, no, no, no. I respect your lack of professionalism. No, this is a great man. All kidding aside, the fuck was that? Even trucks fart around this guy. They want to fit in. No, you're a wonderful man. And, you know, I want to say, you know, we can joke all we want, but this is a truly. This is at heart, a very serious and selfless man. I mean, this man helped elect Mandani Mamdani just so that he could give New Yorkers free rides on buses, even though he himself can't physically fit in one. And with that, I rest my case.

[Stavi]

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[Robert Smigel]

What just happened?

[Stavi]

Yeah, you're. Your friend came. He was actually pretty rude to me.

[Robert Smigel]

What an.

[Stavi]

What's going on with that guy? You guys go back. Huh?

[Robert Smigel]

Wait, I got you.

[Stavi]

Need a second.

[Robert Smigel]

It's like Jesus.

[Stavi]

There we go.

[Robert Smigel]

Hold on.

[Stavi]

I put. I make them extra hard just to Alpha the guest. Alpha the guest. Oh, that was.

[Robert Smigel]

Now I have to chug it down further. Alpha use, of course, one of the gayest waters in.

[Stavi]

Robert. Thank you for being here. Get hydrated, baby. Ah, that was.

[Robert Smigel]

You have an audience.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. We have a stadium. There's 15, 000 people watching us out on that side. Thank you for. Thanks for being here. Triumph.

[Robert Smigel]

Holy nicks and nets.

[Stavi]

What's that about? You're. You're.

[Robert Smigel]

I like the logo. It's really pretty logo.

[Stavi]

It's just the graphic design.

[Robert Smigel]

No, this is the nets when Jason kid.

[Stavi]

Yes, I remember that team.

[Robert Smigel]

I love that.

[Stavi]

That was a cool team.

[Robert Smigel]

I love The Knicks now.

[Stavi]

Sure, sure.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, that's really my team.

[Stavi]

But yeah, yeah, yeah. The Jason kid team was cool. Jason kid team. They had Carrie kd, of course, drafted

[Robert Smigel]

instead of Kobe Bryant.

[Stavi]

Yep, yep, yep, yep. That was a big one. They had Keith Van Horn. Keith Van Horn, the great white hope, of course.

[Robert Smigel]

Richard Jefferson.

[Stavi]

Young Richard Jefferson. Fly high, dunking. He was awesome.

[Robert Smigel]

Now he is just an annoying commentator now.

[Stavi]

He's annoying commentator. Yeah. Now, now he looks like a claymation dinosaur in. I believe in his retirement. He's got that kind of going for him. He's got some teeth wise. He's got little dino teeth.

[Robert Smigel]

Carrie Kittles also had sort of a Gumby Claymate.

[Stavi]

They were very Claymation type team. And then Kenyon Martin very.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, my God.

[Stavi]

Yeah, he was.

[Robert Smigel]

He was incredible.

[Stavi]

He was the man.

[Robert Smigel]

I was there when they were swept by the Lakers. My dad managed to get tickets somehow.

[Stavi]

Really?

[Robert Smigel]

For the finals. And it was. Yeah, nobody. They. They were a great team, but they didn't have anybody who could guard Shaq.

[Stavi]

I mean, that's what happened. They would get. They would come out of the east and then they would just get rolled.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Spurs, then the Lakers.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. What are you gonna do?

[Stavi]

So welcome Back to the 2000s basketball hour, folks. This is very dangerous because I would talk about this for an hour.

[Robert Smigel]

I know, I know.

[Stavi]

Sorry.

[Robert Smigel]

I saw the. I saw the Knicks hat.

[Stavi]

No, it's. We're good. That's interesting though, because as a. You now, wait, you grew.

[Robert Smigel]

You were born here, but you born in Manhattan.

[Stavi]

Yeah. You were born in Manhattan. Okay. But you did go. I mean, all your. Like, I think of you as a Chicago guy comedically.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Because of all the. So it's interesting.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I didn't. I just assumed you were a Chicago guy. But we're talking.

[Robert Smigel]

You were born as a compliment.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

So you were born here and then how long did you.

[Robert Smigel]

You probably assumed I wasn't Jewish, which is.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I really strains.

[Robert Smigel]

Even more credulity.

[Stavi]

Yeah. This is one of those.

[Robert Smigel]

Chicago. I thought of you as an Irish cop son from Chicago. No, I lived in Chicago for a couple of years after college. College was a disaster for me.

[Stavi]

Oh, really?

[Robert Smigel]

I was trying to be a dentist.

[Stavi]

You're trying to be a dentist?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. My father was a really talented dentist. He developed like tooth bonding.

[Stavi]

Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. My mom worked at a dental lab.

[Robert Smigel]

If he saw you right now, he'd be like, I could close that gap. It would take me a half an hour.

[Stavi]

I love the gap. Of course, they Asked.

[Robert Smigel]

Don't ever close.

[Stavi]

Thank you. So he invented too, so you could. You were trying to be a dental Nepo, baby.

[Robert Smigel]

Think I could be in common who thinks they can actually.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yes. You know, so you went. So you. But you went fully. You finished college as like a dental.

[Robert Smigel]

It took me literally five and a half years. And transferring. I started at Cornell because I was a good high school student. But then I. Science was the hardest thing for me. I tried to take pre dental courses and they're just fucking weed out.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

They just go extra fast to just

[Stavi]

separate who's too fucking stupid. You know, that's my favorite when you get to college day one, and you meet a bunch of idiots who are like, yeah, I'm pre med, pre law, you know what I mean? Pre led, I got a Spanish minor. Like, they think they're going to be like the first ever doctor, dentist, lawyer combo, and then they fail out of Biology 101, you know, instantly.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. No, I didn't have anywhere near that confidence. I was just like, I better do this because what else am I going to do? I had no ambition to do anything but be funny.

[Stavi]

So you just assumed, all right, my dad's a fucking dentist.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I'll just be a guy who laughs, who makes, you know, gets fucked up and roast my friends. Yeah. And be a whore and be sad picking up people's teeth, being in a sad existence.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, well, bonding's more. Tooth bonding. Like that side of dentistry is more fun than drilling cavities.

[Stavi]

Okay, okay. Interesting.

[Robert Smigel]

People were really grateful.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Robert Smigel]

You closed the gap.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Thanks. I like it.

[Stavi]

So you wanted to be a niche, a niche dentist. You couldn't even see yourself as, like, abroad. You can't.

[Robert Smigel]

No, no. But that's the thing. In college, in pre dent, you have to go through all that. Like, my dad was like, this is such a pain in the ass. I could teach you what I do in a couple of weeks. You don't have to learn any of this.

[Stavi]

So he looked at it like caulking a leaky faucet a little bit. He didn't really look at it.

[Robert Smigel]

It was like an artistic element to it for him. He loved it.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

He hated being a dentist until he figured that out.

[Stavi]

Oh.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, and then he loved it. And I thought, you know, this is a great way to make a living. And. And then I'll just be funny on the side. Like, I was in high school, right.

[Stavi]

Oh, you were in like a. You're like a little class crown

[Robert Smigel]

My teachers. I drew cartoons of my friends. I imitated everybody. And in a way, like, that's. Sometimes I, like, kind of miss that, like, just being funny for funny sake.

[Stavi]

It was pure.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes.

[Stavi]

I feel that I would draw in

[Robert Smigel]

the margins of my notebooks. I draw cartoons. And there's a part of me that misses totally just being. Just totally from inspiration. Whenever. When you're not supposed to be doing it.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of commodifying it. Instead of call. Yeah, exactly. Part of my job. My. My best. Just calling my best friend an idiot has become part of my job every. Every week.

[Robert Smigel]

And every time you think of something funny, it's like, okay, how does that translate into financial reward?

[Stavi]

Right? Right.

[Robert Smigel]

It's like, you know, you can't just fucking laugh and enjoy it. It's like, wait, is that something I can do on. On, you know, Colbert? If you ever stays on the air long enough to acknowledge me. Have you been on any of those late nights? I bet you've been on Fallon.

[Stavi]

No, I've done. No, I did Seth Meyers, which was so fun.

[Robert Smigel]

That's great.

[Stavi]

That was a really fun one. No, I haven't done anything.

[Robert Smigel]

You don't need those shows anymore.

[Stavi]

Yeah. The reality is you really don't need it. Like, even that stuff is, like, you're just totally fun.

[Robert Smigel]

Right?

[Stavi]

Like, I'm like, I want to do this because I grew up imagining being the guy who does this, but having four good YouTube videos.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

So much more important. It's way more than, like, going on the Tonight show or some shit like that. But I still would love to do it, obviously.

[Robert Smigel]

And it's like, it's a pain in the neck for me because, like, I did triumph until Conan moved from New York to LA and. And Saturday Night Live, too. I did the cartoons there, dude.

[Stavi]

TV Funhouse. So. And if anybody. By the way. Yeah, yeah. And I do want to take a second and say of hands who, like, the ambiguously gave. This is very funny. You are literally watching this podcast. You're watching how entertainment has degraded over time because.

[Robert Smigel]

Because this is more popular than real entertainment.

[Caller 1]

For sure.

[Stavi]

We're aligned here. You cannot. You will not hurt my feelings. I also know this is a mistake of history. What my life has become is a mistake of history because you're used to podcasting as opposed to, like, you know, you did the fucking cartoons on tv. Check out TV Funhouse. If you haven't. If you haven't. The ambiguously gay duo is. It is so. So much of, like. I mean, what so much of what you did, you can just see in how comedy has gone truly like. Like Triumph in and of itself. It's like roasts understanding. There was something people. You actually had an angle. It was funny. It was like it was actually doing, like, you know, this character. Why the fuck with a doll?

[Robert Smigel]

You know, kind of started where the joke was entirely on Triumph.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

The first time I did it, his punch lines, like three out of four punch lines were just for me to poop on. Just the shitty switcheroo of complimenting you and then just saying for me to poop.

[Stavi]

Oh, you know what? It does break my heart. I didn't get it for me to poop on it. I will admit that at the end

[Robert Smigel]

of the show, it'll happen.

[Stavi]

Elders, call. Call Triumphs, people, please. Let's see. Let's see if we can get him in. I'll see what I can do here. At the end of the.

[Robert Smigel]

Hard to get a hold of already in a limo.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, way I saw him sniffing two rottweilers on the way out. Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

A lot of. A lot of dog piss in this neighborhood. Couldn't wait to get out of here. No, but it was. Yeah, the joke was entirely. Almost entirely on him. And then it was like. We quickly realized we could bring it back because Conan, as a talk show host was unbelievably funny, but he liked to make fun of himself more than.

[Stavi]

Yeah, for sure.

[Robert Smigel]

And. But we would have. Shitty. Not shitty. I don't want to put these people.

[Stavi]

Yeah, but I will do it.

[Robert Smigel]

Shitty.

[Stavi]

You were on the late 30. The second guest. 12:30.

[Robert Smigel]

No, no, the first guest.

[Stavi]

The first guest.

[Robert Smigel]

We would have people like. We would have people like John Tesh on.

[Stavi]

Right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

Who was like, you know, the audience is dying, of course, for Conan to make fun of him in some way, you know, Or William Shatner.

[Stavi]

Right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

Or Paulie Shore.

[Stavi]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, we would have people like that. David Hasselhoff.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

Of course, Triumph became this cathartic outlet for the audience.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Like, he would interview David Hasselhoff and then he'd say, we've got a very talented. You met him at the Westminster Dog show, and here he is once again. And. Yeah, and then he would rip the. Out of so great. David Hasselhoff, and the audience would be finally.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what's beauty. Beautiful about it is like, it's not distilled. It's like you get a nice shot of exactly what you wanted. Bang, bang, bang. Machine gun Jokes. It was awesome. I mean, I loved it. And it is. Yeah. So much of it is like. So much is roast. What's. What does. Well, is like sort of like roast humor or, you know, really good character base.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, right.

[Stavi]

The fucking. The Bears guys. I realize I've. I've been ripping you off by doing a Baltimore version of.

[Robert Smigel]

Somebody told me that. You know who told me that? And it didn't bother me, but he said, I don't know if you know this guy.

[Stavi]

He.

[Robert Smigel]

He's the president of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Yes. You know, Timber.

[Stavi]

I loved him.

[Robert Smigel]

He loves you. He was the first from Baltimore. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And he turned me on to you. He turned me on to you. He said, you gotta. You gotta check this guy out. He's hilarious. And.

[Stavi]

But, yeah, basically, I just want to say thank you because I'm realizing how much of your shit I've completely ripped off the ambiguously gay du. Essentially cometown.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean.

[Stavi]

I mean, that is. The jokes are like, we're gay, or are we. You know what I mean? We basically. We got paid a lot more than you did off of that, probably. You know, good for you.

[Robert Smigel]

Good for you.

[Stavi]

Of that concept. You know what I mean? And then just, you know, shitting on each other. And then the bear, you know, the. The superfans sketch.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I basically just did a Ravens. And obviously, I wasn't trying to. It was just. You grow up with these things and you want to make fun of them,

[Robert Smigel]

but it's just universal sports fanaticism and stuff. I mean, that's a much less direct ripoff than, like, not to name drop. But I actually got Letterman on my podcast.

[Stavi]

Wow.

[Robert Smigel]

And I wanted to ask him this, and I was afraid to. I didn't want to get into Jay Leno. But, like, Letterman did ask it here.

[Caller 1]

We'll.

[Stavi]

We'll ask him.

[Robert Smigel]

Well, no, something on. I was. I wanted to talk about.

[Stavi]

I'm kidding. I'm different. Like, friends with Letterman. It was a joke.

[Robert Smigel]

Letterman, yeah. Run for the hills. If he was within 10ft of this man. And that's on Letterman because he's missing out. I'm not saying that Letterman is right to be thoroughly repulsed by the concept of this man, much less his physical presence. I'm just saying this is what he would do.

[Stavi]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Robert Smigel]

That's why I'm here, to just talk about him, of course. Because he's never gonna.

[Stavi]

No, no, no.

[Robert Smigel]

Unless they like five Apatow movies.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm a couple more Oscar nominated movies away from being able to do season four or five of, you

[Robert Smigel]

know, My Next Guest Needs no Introduction.

[Stavi]

Which they had a couple standups for a while and then he was like, all right, let's get the fucking energy.

[Robert Smigel]

Like, yeah, no, he's really.

[Stavi]

Now it's next level, highest tier. So you're, you've got him on. And what's the pod called, by the way?

[Robert Smigel]

It's Humor Me, humor me, humor me. And I'm not the type of person. Thank you.

[Stavi]

Yeah. They've already know about.

[Robert Smigel]

That's great. No, I'll talk about that in a minute because it doesn't. Isn't really like a conversation. It's more like a stunt show. But Letterman, I wanted to ask him about, I was telling him about how everything that he had done on the late night show I would not let Conan do when we took over that show.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

To the point where I wouldn't even let him do remotes, which is the best ever.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, Truly.

[Robert Smigel]

And I'm like, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyone who's copied. I've seen people try to copy Dave.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And do that. And they look terrible. Dennis Miller did it.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Robert Smigel]

Pat Sajak did it.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And like, if Sajak couldn't pull it off, how dare you think you. What the was.

[Stavi]

I think Vietnam veteran Pat Sak couldn't do it. You think you can, Harvard boy? I don't think so. No.

[Robert Smigel]

But I, I. The very first bit we did was like the reverse of a Letterman bit. Louis CK came up with it. It was called Actual Items and it was like Letterman did Small Town News where you just hold up.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're right.

[Robert Smigel]

Leno did. And then Leno stole it from him.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And I wanted to ask Letterman about that.

[Stavi]

He did just straight up rip that off.

[Robert Smigel]

Because then if you ask him about it, it's like, what, Dave invented headlines

[Stavi]

all of a sudden?

[Robert Smigel]

Dave invented the news.

[Stavi]

It's like kind of in this context. Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

What else can we joke about? The polio vaccine? Did Dave invent the polio vaccine? It's like, no. It was such a blatant ripoff.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I wanted to ask him about it, but I didn't have the balls.

[Stavi]

But well, hey, you told me about wanting to ask about it, so that's.

[Robert Smigel]

That was like 6% as entertaining as if I had done it with Letterman. Fair enough, fair enough.

[Stavi]

But I liked it.

[Robert Smigel]

I'll bring back Triumph whenever you request it.

[Stavi]

No, no, no. I it that the Wait, what? What was actual items. And it was just because I remember this bit.

[Robert Smigel]

Louie came up with it, and it was basically like, you believe you can't make this up, folks. And then it was totally made.

[Stavi]

It was. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Robert Smigel]

Look at this headline. I mean, look at this ad for water beds. And then look over here, though, in the corner says.

[Stavi]

Right, right. I actually remember this now, you know,

[Robert Smigel]

and I. I don't remember what the joke, but it would have been something like, look at over here in the corner. Hitler would have never.

[Stavi]

Just complete absurdism.

[Robert Smigel]

Not approved by Adolf Hitler. Like, why. Why would they put that in? We don't need to know that. That's an assumption.

[Stavi]

Well, who knows? Maybe the. The remotes. I know. You mean about. You know, it's. When you're starting a show, you want to be fanatical about what the.

[Robert Smigel]

What it did was it forced us to put our own stamp on that time slot. And we did.

[Stavi]

And, you know, definitely the characters, the, like, absurdist stuff. I mean, masturbating bear.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. We're just interviewing celebrities by doing their photograph and cutting out the mouth. Yeah, like, that's. And Triumph actually came out of that because Letterman had been doing Westminster dogs, like, running up and down the aisles. Like real Westminster dogs.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Behaving like crazy dogs. And it was funny.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

But my wife had just given me a bunch of dog puppets because we were newlyweds and we were at a. We were at a furniture store that had a rack of these.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And other animal puppets. And I. They were so realistic looking, like Triumph face. And. And I just grabbed one, put it on my hand, and immediately sniffed her ass with it in the middle of the store, you know, and she thought it was funny because, you know, this is the perfect woman for me.

[Stavi]

Right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

And then she surprised me with, like, seven of them. And then, like, two weeks later, I. Watching this Letterman Westminster bit, and Westminster really was coming to town.

[Stavi]

Oh.

[Robert Smigel]

And that's what made me think of that whole bit. And then I didn't do Triumph till like, four months, four years later.

[Stavi]

Yeah, dude. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

We had other Westminster talents. Like a dog. You know, two dogs did dueling banjos, and another dog lit his own farts. And another dog. This was my favorite. Another dog was like an impersonator. And so, you know how Triumph had a fake paw? Like, so we would give this dog the fake paw, and he would put his head. He was. Put his head. Paw on his forehead like Jack Nicholson Hacky Impersonate. He'd be like, I am Jack Nicholson. You know, just the hackiest.

[Stavi]

Maybe Schwarzenegger in there, too.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, the whole. Every Jack Nicholson impersonator, their hand, you

[Stavi]

know, they would kind of get the balding.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Because it was kind of like a.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, I'm Jack Nicholson.

[Stavi]

You show the ball, you make yourself look widow's peak.

[Robert Smigel]

You don't have to take a lot of work to do.

[Stavi]

Now we're headed up.

[Robert Smigel]

That's exactly. Exactly.

[Stavi]

Were you a hat guy instantly? When. When you started going. How quickly did you go to hats?

[Robert Smigel]

Fast.

[Stavi]

And what were you in dental school when. No, it went fast for me.

[Robert Smigel]

I was pretty healthy Jew fro until I was in my mid-30s.

[Stavi]

Oh, that's not bad.

[Robert Smigel]

And then I still, like, didn't quite realize how gross I was getting you.

[Stavi]

Of course.

[Robert Smigel]

And then by the time the Conan

[Stavi]

Writers Room, the grooming standards weren't high in the two early 2000s Conan writers

[Robert Smigel]

room, I was like a seven in that room. It's like when they talk about a Midwestern 10, you know. Oh, the Conan writers room ads, like six digits.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that was. I mean, I can imagine. I mean, that is a. That's a. You do have, like. You like a legendary run of, you know, even when you're going to Chicago to start.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You're. You were like in an improv group with Odenkirk, right? Like early on or. No, what was it?

[Robert Smigel]

I met early on, but he was doing his own thing.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Robert Smigel]

And.

[Stavi]

But you're playing at the Player. Yeah, tell me.

[Robert Smigel]

I went to this place called Players Workshop, which is also where Bob had started. And it was nice. It wasn't like Second City where it's like, okay, you're going to learn how to like, you know, F. Scott Fitzgerald. Right.

[Stavi]

Improv people love to pretend what they're doing is.

[Robert Smigel]

And to.

[Stavi]

The.

[Robert Smigel]

What?

[Stavi]

Improv people love to pretend what they're doing isn't. They love to put, like, real rules. The. Oh, yeah, the Second City. The. Like when I did like a UCB class and it's like, I know the

[Robert Smigel]

Harold and all that. There's the 10,000 yard stare about improv.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Sometimes when you get the Herald going and you're just like, you just out of box. It's out of body, man.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

No, I could never do that. I could never improv like that. And I also felt I would watch it. Even. Even the corny stuff like where it's a game like, okay, you're in a proctologist's office, and it's 1929. And F. Scott Fitz. You know, you're right. It's a Shakespeare theme.

[Stavi]

Yes, yes.

[Robert Smigel]

Whatever. Those kind of games.

[Stavi]

And that's the. They were doing it second season.

[Robert Smigel]

That was the early. And then they got into the more sophisticated stuff. You're talking the Dell Close stuff.

[Stavi]

So what was the next thing like?

[Robert Smigel]

I would watch this and I'd be like, this is. I want to do stuff that's funny because it's funny, not because it's off the top of my head.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, it's like, this is like. If that was a sketch, I don't think I'd find it as funny. I'm just like. It's like a magic trick.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Robert Smigel]

I wanna. So I thought improv was a very useful tool.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And that's how I started using it at Second City. What they did that was really interesting. They would do their Second City show and then they'd have a second set afterward that kids could go. You could go for free. You didn't have to pay for the show. They would let you sit in the back or stand in the back and watch great improv performers. And they weren't doing the games, they were working out sketches. They would pretend, they would say, they would take suggestions from the audience and. And then they would tailor it to a sketch they were busy.

[Stavi]

They were already doing. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Based on your suggestion of Nixon, here's a restaurant in Washington, D.C. or whatever.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

And. But you could see. And they're really talented, amazing people. Like, the most famous that I got to work, watch work was the guy who ended up being a Dan Castellaneta.

[Stavi]

Oh, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Homer Simpson's voice. He was there. And a lot of amazing. Mike Haggerty, you may be familiar with him, he was in a lot of John Hughes movies. These guys were so funny. And it was really inspiring to see them just work out sketches.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

In front of an audience, it's like you have a premise, but you're improvising off the premise.

[Stavi]

And that was. That was always the interesting thing about Second City because, like. Like you. I kind of feel the game stuff is not that useful. But I liked how they would kind of almost like, stand up. They would have a sketch and they just work on it in front of different audiences and to get it to feel right.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes. And the best ones were the type of sketches that you didn't see much on snl, because a lot of times when we were on snl, we would write, like, one Joke premises.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Robert Smigel]

Where it just builds and builds because you don't have time to, like, work on it and give it real texture like these guys did. Or the kids in the hall were like that, too. They always worked on their stuff, and there were so many jokes beyond the premise. And that was really cool.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, I know.

[Stavi]

I could. I could say, what was the. Because I've. The. The group you're doing in Chicago, what was their sort of philosophy? What kind of. Was it just.

[Robert Smigel]

I wouldn't give us credit not having a philosophy.

[Stavi]

It was just guys trying to be funny.

[Robert Smigel]

It was just people, like, you know, just guys who. And girls who would watch these guys. And we just come up with our own premises and. And work on them and develop them. And I was a little more of a TV guy. I had more TV parodies than Second City usually did just because I was a TV nerd. And.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

But it actually ended up lending itself to writing for snl, because when. So I got SNL because a guy in my comedy group got into a movie that Al Franken and his partner Tom Davis, back then were starring in, and it was shot in Chicago, and so they came to see our show.

[Stavi]

Wow.

[Robert Smigel]

And they really liked it. And Franken was like, you're like. You remind me of a mixture of Harold Ramis and Albert Brooks. And I was like, so I'm Jewish. Yeah, yeah. No, but he was great. And they took us out for beers, and that was it. We thought that was the end.

[Stavi]

Totally.

[Robert Smigel]

We felt like, some validation. Of course they liked it. But then, like, three weeks later, like, Saturday Night Live had this gigantic turnover where Lorne Michaels came back. Oh, that was.

[Stavi]

That was the timing.

[Robert Smigel]

Summer, get the out of here.

[Stavi]

Because. Because people did, like, he did this insane. Or he left and they did. They put a cast, which, when you look at the people, the talent was incredible. The Eye for talent was absolutely correct because it was like. Yeah, like you said, Cusack, quaid, Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr. Michael.

[Robert Smigel]

Who was hilarious. John.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Julia.

[Stavi]

Louis Dreyfus.

[Robert Smigel]

Well, then. No, that was.

[Stavi]

That was later.

[Robert Smigel]

That was previous.

[Stavi]

Previous. Oh, yeah, that was okay. But that. But that crew. I remember seeing that. The crew that failed or whatever.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And I was like, all those people are.

[Robert Smigel]

They became super.

[Stavi]

Whoever had an eye, whoever, like, casted that.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

The rest. The rest of the infrastructure, you know,

[Robert Smigel]

they just weren't necessarily sketch performers.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, Joan Cusack's still one of the funniest people I've ever met.

[Stavi]

So funny.

[Robert Smigel]

And she.

[Stavi]

School. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

School Rock is one of the funniest performances I've ever seen.

[Stavi]

And then making her horny for the bass player at the end.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And it clicks. It's like, of course, that character. So repressed. And this is exactly her guy. Yeah. You know what I mean? It was that. She's all. She's like boiling over. That whole.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, I know. That whole scene where she's talking about Stevie Nicks and.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, I'm fun.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Just trying to convince Jack Black that she's. And totally. Anybody who can turn Jack Black into a straight man. Yes, totally. Totally.

[Stavi]

An energy you don't see when someone is completely singular.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And you're like, I. People have gotten close to that, but they've not exactly nailed it that way.

[Robert Smigel]

Reminds me of her a little bit. And who just made Jack Black a straight man. Do you watch snl?

[Stavi]

Yeah, I watch it.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, snl. Well, Ashley Padilla. Have you heard of this?

[Stavi]

Really funny. Yeah, I don't. I mean, I have some friends on it, and I don't watch it.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay.

[Stavi]

And I didn't know. And so usually I'm kind of aware of. Of people who come. I'm like, oh, yes. Yeah, you know, whatever. Marcelo got it. Sarah. Sarah Sherman is a big. She's been on the show a hundred times. She's one of my, you know, a good friend of mine. But I didn't really know Ashley. And yes, she has that kind of like. Exactly that.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

A little cusack that. She's got that Midwestern and she can tap into that mania.

[Robert Smigel]

And she doesn't mug.

[Stavi]

Doesn't mug.

[Robert Smigel]

Just plays people. Yeah. It's understated, but a crazy person, like, just like 10 degrees crazy. Totally, totally, incredibly original.

[Stavi]

Well, I mean, my favorite.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I mean, the guys who. Who really turn it up. It's like Connor o', Malley, Tim. They like, they. They. Tim Robinson is so funny.

[Robert Smigel]

My kids, I have, like. They were like 12 years old when that show came on the air, and I. They never had any interest in snl. Like, I would occasionally.

[Stavi]

They.

[Robert Smigel]

They knew what I did, and they wanted to see some of the stuff I did, but they never wanted to watch the show.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

But Tim Robinson's show, they watched every episode, every season. They fucking loved it.

[Stavi]

That's fascinating.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, they got. Because it was more human comedy.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

That just connected with them.

[Stavi]

There is, like a bass sort of, like, primal element to, like, Tim Robinson and Connor, too, where it's like. Some of it is guttural. Screaming.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

It's just like, literal, guttural, and it fucking. They found the context to make it work. Yeah. But, yes. Ashley. I don't know her, but she's so, so funny. And, yeah, they have some good. There is a lot of. There's some talent.

[Robert Smigel]

People on the.

[Stavi]

It seems like a nightmare job, though. Seems like. I mean, I know.

[Robert Smigel]

Was scary as hell.

[Stavi]

So you're so.

[Robert Smigel]

My first year, especially because now.

[Stavi]

So the context of you coming on the show is there. They had this huge turnover. It was.

[Robert Smigel]

I would never have gotten hired if they had. Wow.

[Stavi]

Holy.

[Robert Smigel]

Because I was like, they turned the

[Stavi]

entire staff over and this is. What. What was the year?

[Robert Smigel]

1985.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Robert Smigel]

Years ago.

[Stavi]

Hell, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And they turned the entire staff over. And then I. Actually, back then, the Writers Guild would let you hire people at below scale. No, seriously, the.

[Stavi]

Me. Our own guild. The. Oh, the year.

[Robert Smigel]

It was a good thing.

[Stavi]

Oh, it's a good thing. Okay.

[Robert Smigel]

Being on the production side, as I was later in life, like. Yeah. It's like you have a budget.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And there's nothing you can do. This is your writing budget. And what they were.

[Stavi]

The huge conglomerate that gives you the budget could give you a little more money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

[Robert Smigel]

You mean.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

[Robert Smigel]

Then I was like, what the. With NBC? And then I realized, no, this is the budget Lauren has, and he's making the decisions because.

[Stavi]

Right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

He's got to. With the money he has. But me and two guys from Kids in the Hall, Bruce McCullough and Mark McKinney. Oh, wow. We're all paid, like, two thirds of scale.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And it's like, otherwise, one of us wouldn't have made it.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. You know, if you give that person the option, all three of you are saying, yeah, yeah, Pay me nothing.

[Robert Smigel]

Huh?

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

It's not like they were gonna do it in perpetuity.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

I didn't. It didn't happen my second year, but I wouldn't have gotten the. One of us wouldn't have gotten the opportunity.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, and I think there's a logic to that. If people are just starting out.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, for sure.

[Stavi]

As long as you can't wait. But you said the key word perpetuity. Because what will happen now is they'll be like, oh, well, I mean, we. We.

[Robert Smigel]

Hi.

[Stavi]

We signed you under that. And then year three, they'd be like, so you're good with that number minus 5%. You know what I mean?

[Robert Smigel]

Like, well, now they just like bring a young writer in.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, so we're gonna scan your brain.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

We're gonna pay you scale to scan your brain.

[Stavi]

And every time you think we get a little notification, you think from here

[Robert Smigel]

on in, even after you've left the show, we own it. And that's okay, you know.

[Stavi]

Oh, yeah, we have a year option. We have a year option.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm down, I'm down. And my name's on the show. Yeah. For a week. Yeah, yeah. But you can always say, you know, you've got that screen cap.

[Stavi]

That's right. We'll get you a keychain. We'll get you a picture on the stage. That's all you need.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. And you know, in your obituary, 70 years from now, you know, so and so, former SNL writer.

[Stavi]

That's right.

[Robert Smigel]

Died penniless.

[Stavi]

Obviously. There's no pension. I mean, you know that. Of course not, but that must. I mean, so this is so. I mean, it's nerve wracking to get that show as an accomplished comedy performer, writer, whatever. But you're talking about you're four years out of.

[Robert Smigel]

Not only that, but I was like, I grew up with that show and I think I was. Was really the first fanboy. Like SNL fanboy 85.

[Stavi]

Yeah, sure.

[Robert Smigel]

So when I was a teenager, we would stop our high school parties. Damn. To watch Saturday Night Live, you know, And I just remember, like, must have

[Stavi]

been a lot of getting got at those parties.

[Robert Smigel]

Don't believe me. You're like, what's, what's Andy Kaufman's on? Are you. You want me to, to care about a vagina?

[Stavi]

Look at him.

[Robert Smigel]

He's the foreign man. He's so funny.

[Stavi]

He's got his hair combed. Weird.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You want me to think about kids?

[Robert Smigel]

He's talking with a high pitched voice. That's all I needed at that age. I mean, we were. I went to like the nerdiest school too. Like just mostly Jewish kids on the Upper west side.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

But, but yeah, every, every party would be stopped.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

For snl. So when I got there. So you were not only was I like, nerdy about Lorne Michaels and writers, I fucking knew people on the credits. Like, you know, there's like this woman, Audrey Per Dickman that I would always see every week. And I'm like, yes, I know you.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Production coordinator and like a fucking set designer. Because there'd be like Rolling Stone articles that I would memorize and say, yes, Akira Yoshimura, you do the sets. But you were Also spectacular as Sulu in Michael o' Donoghue's legendary Star Trek NBC sketch.

[Stavi]

So are you happy that you weren't born. You're lucky you weren't born with the Internet because you might just be a Reddit guy that never leaves his house. You might be running the SNL message board instead of actually being on the show.

[Robert Smigel]

It's a miracle I got hired because I know a lot of funny people.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

A lot of funny people that never did anything.

[Stavi]

Yeah, totally.

[Robert Smigel]

So I'll never, I never take it for granted, you know, And I, I guess I just. The only person that. And I was so in awe of the place that I wouldn't. Like. A lot of people get there and they're like, I'm gonna get you in. I'm gonna get you.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I couldn't do that even with my. For people that I love.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

The only person that I ever recommended was Bob Odenkirk.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I got him in because he was the funniest person in Chicago. Yeah, we all agreed totally that he was just mind bogglingly ahead of everybody, in my opinion.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I had a better career at SNL than he did, but yeah, he was, he was a fully formed comedian.

[Stavi]

Totally.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, I was like, like you say I was out of dental school. Just figuring it out.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. Happy.

[Robert Smigel]

Not dental school. Out of pre dental.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Couldn't even get the dental.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. I was just trying to figure out how to write comedy. And Bob just way more advanced. And that's probably why he didn't succeed at SNL more, because he didn't care.

[Stavi]

I could see that when you have your own voice.

[Robert Smigel]

He wasn't in awe of the place, of course. And like I was trying to score.

[Stavi]

He's trying to. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And he inspired me in a way because I think I got more free with my comedy writing even. And I was more confident having been there a couple of years and I had a lot of success and then. But I started writing sillier stuff because I saw Bob and then Conan got on the show and he also. Yeah, he, he really wanted to succeed, but he inherently had less. He was less in awe of the place as well. You know, he was like a. More of a Monty Python guy or SCTV guy.

[Stavi]

Oh, wow.

[Robert Smigel]

He loved sct. But I was like a kid from Manhattan and to totally Saturday Night Live being the coolest show on TV and, And have. Being a New York show.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

It just meant everything to me. Johnny Carson had left the Tonight show to Move. I'm getting really nerdy for.

[Stavi]

You are.

[Robert Smigel]

And I love people who are like, weren't. Didn't. If you didn't serve in the Vietnam War. I apologize for all the references, but

[Stavi]

there was no marquee show on in New York anymore, is what you're saying. No, that it was like SNL was all we had.

[Robert Smigel]

New York was like a.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

Like, I love.

[Stavi]

Totally, totally.

[Robert Smigel]

Like, my favorite movies are the wizard of Oz and Taxi Driver.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Taxi Driver.

[Stavi]

Similar themes somehow.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. But I just love the way New York was shot. It was so grimy and. But real.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, and so I loved. I thought I was the coolest kid living there.

[Stavi]

Totally. Dude.

[Robert Smigel]

But. But I really. When snl, like, had that opening montage celebrating New York City.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

It just meant everything to me.

[Stavi]

Totally. I mean, I get that when I. Growing up, I was a comedy nerd.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

New York, the first times I visit, it feels like fake. You're like, I'm really here. I met the. The famed comic strip. You know what I mean? Like, I got. I got barked into the. I get barked when I'm 14. I got barked into a 5pm at the comic Strip. And I'm like, wow, I didn't know they had 5pm at that era. They did.

[Robert Smigel]

And is this the 90s?

[Stavi]

This is. This is no, 2000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is probably 2000. Who went at 5 o'.

[Robert Smigel]

Clock?

[Stavi]

Children who don't understand. Young. Yeah, yeah. Or very. It was like me and like, you know, it's exactly what you think. Getting barked into it. It was probably a 6pm at. At the comic ship. It was me and five people and, you know, and it's one of those things where you've done a horrible show where you're like, who are these idiot tourists? They barked into this.

[Robert Smigel]

I give you credit, man, for having the resilience to stick with it because I couldn't. I tried stand up.

[Stavi]

Really.

[Robert Smigel]

I. Well, like, what changed my life, really? When I was a struggling whatever pre dental idiot I was, I had already transferred to nyu. I didn't live on campus because my parents lived in Manhattan. And back then NYU hadn't bought the entire village.

[Stavi]

NYU was a piece of shit back then. Right. No disrespect.

[Robert Smigel]

That's how I got in. Yeah. No, I mean, it was not. It was not what it is now.

[Stavi]

It's just very funny because I, you know, you read about nyu.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And it's just. You see a mark shift where it's like a lot of Your heroes went when it sucked. And then there's like a genre. Yeah, yeah. And then like, for me, when I moved here.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

The kids that went to NYU were like some of the most high achieving.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. It was like, it's much harder.

[Stavi]

It was basically. It was almost like entertainment industry, Ivy League, basically. Because it's like that. And maybe USC or you know, whatever.

[Robert Smigel]

Film school.

[Stavi]

It's a great school, but like nyu, like now it's. Those kids go in there and I mean, like half the. Even the kids from like on SNL right now, they're like, please don't destroy kids. Oh, there, you know, they were nyu and they had a bunch of all the. There were so many people that came out of there.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, and there's more comedy going on now. Like, there's like improv. Many improv groups that are happening in the school.

[Stavi]

Yeah. But. Yeah, so that's. I just wanted to. Because there is a. Because the NYU we know now, it's like New York in the 70s, 80s was not, you know.

[Robert Smigel]

No, no.

[Stavi]

So you're living at home.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm living at home because they wouldn't let me live in a dorm. So I don't know. I know the kids in my classes, but. And I'm struggling. Like I said, like, I had.

[Stavi]

It's funny because you grew up there too, so it's like you should have a social circle. But they all left for college.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

So they have. I find out they're. They're throwing a con, a stand up contest.

[Stavi]

Oh, nice.

[Robert Smigel]

And I'm like. And I'd always seen, you know, should I ever try stand up on a Monday night at Catcher.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And I was like, what if somebody I know sees me at nyu? I was like, no one's gonna know me if I eat.

[Stavi]

Took being so socially depleted that bombing could have no negative impact. Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

So I wrote an act.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I just wrote an act over like a week. And I just did it. And I tied. I was like one of three winners.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And.

[Stavi]

And where was this changed?

[Robert Smigel]

It was at the, like the student center.

[Stavi]

Cool.

[Robert Smigel]

So a big room and they, you know.

[Stavi]

Wow. That was the first time you ever did anything comedic.

[Robert Smigel]

I never performed. No, I'd done. I. I'd been funny in front of my kids. I mean, my friends. My friends. And I was like in the lead in the school play or that.

[Stavi]

Okay. You act. You did, you did.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, Yeah. I loved. I was editing summer camp.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Jewish summer camp. I would do funny things, but never in front of strangers.

[Stavi]

Right. Right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

Never made strangers laugh in my life.

[Stavi]

And that made you think, like, all right, I can do this.

[Robert Smigel]

I was like, what the.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's possible.

[Robert Smigel]

And then it never left my brain after that. Maybe I could do something, you know. And then it was really. I still finished pre dental because I was like, now it was like, damage control, of course. What am I going to get out of college? So I still finished it, but so I, I. That contest led to another college con. Like, the winners, we got to compete against other colleges at the Comic Strip.

[Stavi]

Oh, sick.

[Robert Smigel]

Like at a normal hour.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And I did a similar act, but I modified it. I had a lot of NYU humor. Like, this is my campus. Yeah. Try showing your ID at, know, Webster hall and getting it, whatever, those kind of jokes, of course. But I also. So then I went to the Comic Strip and I added this bit about Reagan trying to keep his dick down while Nancy.

[Stavi]

Good stuff.

[Robert Smigel]

And it was like, he's like, Ernie's like, you know, instead of a baseball or whatever, he's like social programs, children

[Stavi]

eating vegetables, giving the poor a fair shake.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

All that kind of Treating aids.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, exactly. It was all that kind of stuff.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

So that was my closer and murdered.

[Stavi]

And as it should have.

[Robert Smigel]

And then I can't remember what, what ended up making him come spontaneously. He slipped into something that. I don't know if it led to Jody Foster or something. I don't know. And then. But then. So I won that contest.

[Stavi]

Wow.

[Robert Smigel]

And then I got a spot.

[Stavi]

Wow.

[Robert Smigel]

The Comic Strip. Yeah, and then I did the spot. And they gave me a 9:30 spot on Thursday. And I did okay.

[Stavi]

Not a bad spot.

[Robert Smigel]

I did okay. And then the manager, you know, gives me, you know, your material is top notch. You just got to get used to, like, you know, hey, folks, how you doing? You know, be a regular person, you know. And I'm like, okay, regular person.

[Stavi]

Did that guy know who was about to take over stand up comedy? Little did they know in the 70s it would be nothing but dorks who can't make eye contact.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, right.

[Stavi]

Stand up comedy for the next four years.

[Robert Smigel]

Like 1982, even late.

[Stavi]

They had no idea.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

At post. Post Sport code.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

It was hoodies and no icons.

[Robert Smigel]

But my heroes were not, you know, regular standups. My heroes were like Steve Martin, Andy Kaufman.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

And so, like, I would start the actual. Dressed up as an Orthodox, you know, synagogue patron.

[Stavi]

I had.

[Robert Smigel]

I literally went to Coney Island. I went to Coney island because you couldn't get cotton candy anywhere else back then. Now you can order it on Amazon. Back then, I, like, took a subway all the way to Coney Island. Wow. Got, like, tons of cotton candy and went on stage with a cotton candy beard.

[Stavi]

Incredible.

[Robert Smigel]

I just did this Andy Kaufman thing to start the show where I just, like, be like the old men in my synagogue. You just pull out.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Pull out a prayer book and like. No, didn't give a. About the audience. Just started turning pages.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

With this. With his finger. And then I would do it as long as I could until they started laughing. And then I would keep going until they started to stop laughing. And then I started eating a piece of my beard. Then I would get laughs. I can't remember how I segued out of it, but then I. I did a lot of conventional standup after that.

[Stavi]

That's beautiful, though, from an artistry standpoint, the fact that you had to. That bit cost you six hours of your day, probably.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean? It's like, nothing. I'll take six hours.

[Robert Smigel]

Just the other day, Letterman was my guest.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And I wanted to. It was the day after his birthday or a couple of days after his birthday, so I wanted to give him something as a present. So I don't know, again, the people who served in, you know, Iraq.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

He would, like, have a bit where he would talk to the audience, and after the audience would do some testimonial about a brush with a celebrity called Brush with Greatness. He would like. We have a gift for you. It's the Late Night ham.

[Stavi]

Yes, of course.

[Robert Smigel]

So I had. I. I got a. I. You know, we had stickers with the name of my show. Humor Me. So we gave him a ham with Late Night. But then I also had seen an episode where he's like, and here's a special gift for you. Stationary from the office of Tom Brokaw. It's like, shitty NBC stationary. So I was like, oh, that's too funny.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

So I literally, like, how do you get stationary? I went to Walgreens. I couldn't find stationary. I. I just wanted plain stationary. I finally went to that store, Michael's.

[Stavi]

The art store. Sure.

[Robert Smigel]

And, like, I got a box of, like, you know, plain stationary with just. And. And envelopes. And then I came to. Went to my house, and I like, matched the font from the desk of. I made it Lester Holt, because that's just a name that I knew would make him laugh.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Robert Smigel]

And I figured out how to and then I'm like, God damn it, how do I load these? This is an 8 byte.

[Stavi]

You're typesetting.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm typesetting. I'm doing this. And like, I'm putting it in the printer and it's saying it doesn't match the size. And I literally took hours and hours to give him this stationary for the last. You know, this is 40 years later. And I'm still.

[Stavi]

I love it, though.

[Robert Smigel]

Like, to get it right.

[Stavi]

Yeah. You got to get it.

[Robert Smigel]

Give a shit. I'll do whatever it takes.

[Stavi]

And there's something about the effort put it. It's. There's a metaphysical.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You gain something from the more of your soul that's in the bit. I really believe that. That it will. If somebody handed you that.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You wouldn't be saying it with the same verb.

[Robert Smigel]

True.

[Stavi]

You wouldn't be. You wouldn't be like, this is my moment. You wouldn't have to connect.

[Robert Smigel]

It meant more to. It meant more to me that he liked it because of all the work, of course. And then on the other hand, I'm like a father. I have children in my house.

[Stavi]

You have someone who could do it.

[Robert Smigel]

I need help with my homework. God damn it. Letterman must be pleased.

[Stavi]

I need to see a rye smile or you're dead. You hear me, kid? If Letterman doesn't give me a wry smile, you're sleeping on the fucking streets.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm sorry. You got a C plus, but wait till I show you a copy of Letterman's rye smile.

[Stavi]

You put that on the fridge. You take down your kids A plus, you put a fucking Letterman smiling at your Lester Holt.

[Robert Smigel]

Cover the C plus with a smile.

[Stavi]

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[Robert Smigel]

I don't know if I ever had a thing. I think one of the reasons I was successful there was because I was versatile in terms of, like, what made me laugh.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, like, I've done everything from incredibly broad comedy with triumph to really subtle stuff in. In some of the movies I've written for. It was really hard to get subtle stuff on snl, though.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I could see that.

[Robert Smigel]

Like, there's a sketch. I. I would say the sketch that was the most me that I submitted didn't get on. And it was like, something that Jim Downey loved.

[Stavi]

Huge fan.

[Robert Smigel]

He's the man. Man. Yeah. One of the great writers in the history of the show. And he was the head writer that first year and for a number of years after that.

[Stavi]

And the Billy Madison speech he gives.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavi]

When I. When we were kids, I mean, I had. I probably still, if you gave me, like, eight minutes, could come up with it from memory. I had no idea. Like, that's. That. That's what that style of humor just pervade. It was so fun to see.

[Robert Smigel]

Totally written by him.

[Stavi]

But anyway, so you're.

[Robert Smigel]

He's a performer. Like, he wasn't even a performer, but he has, like, three popular memes.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one.

[Robert Smigel]

And the Jeffrey Epstein thing.

[Stavi]

The Jeffrey Epstein thing went crazy. It's insane. He's so funny.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. But I. I submitted this sketch called It's a Wild, Wild, Wild Wild Kingdom. And the joke was that it was. There were a lot of hidden camera shows. You know, original was called Candid Camera, but there were other ones, practical jokes on people. And so I wanted to do a show where they played practical jokes on animals. And so it's called. It's a Wild Wild Kingdom. Wild, wild, Wild, Wild Kingdom. And. And it was jokes like, you know, we would have a goat. We would shoot a goat from, you know, a surveillance kind of camera, and it would be next to a mailbox. And that was like an old staple of, like, these shows. Yes. Get a load of the goat's reaction to the moving mailbox.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

What's eating. What's going on with that mailbox? Look at the goat's face. And it would just build to, like, we told this turtle that it was gonna meet Burt Reynolds. Watch his face when he realizes that it's a Burt Reynolds impersonator. And that's just a snap zoom on a turtle.

[Stavi]

So fucking funny, you know?

[Robert Smigel]

And Downey loved this kid so much that I submitted it, like, twice. And Lorne Michaels, what the fuck are you doing? And Lorne. Michael said something really profound, like, my second week there. He said, if you make the cast look good, you'll look good. Because he was already worried about that cast. Somebody's got to help. Anthony Michael Hall.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

And. But it was really smart advice.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

To be an snl. Right. Because SNL really is about letting the performers shine.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And that's how, you know, I figured out how to. How to work there for the most part. Like I said, like, the first few years, it was really just trying to.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Come up with the smartest ways to do stuff that'll make the performers look good.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Well, they put you on camera a little bit, too, though. You got to be on there, you know? Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, actually, the very first week, I was a backup singer to Madonna. Madonna was. Madonna was the first guest.

[Stavi]

That's crazy.

[Robert Smigel]

Biggest star we ever had.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

This is. Is, like, peak material.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy.

[Robert Smigel]

She was the host. And I wrote a sketch where. And I got on. I got a sketch on my very first week. It was Spanish. It was a. It was like a sabado gigante.

[Stavi]

Gigante.

[Robert Smigel]

I just thought of. This was before La Isla Bonita. But I just looked at her, and I just thought she'd be a great. Her face is just perfect to play a Spanish variety show hostess. So I wrote this sketch with the two Canadian guys. The kids in the hall guys.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. Wow.

[Robert Smigel]

And I wrote a mashup. The beginning of it was a mashup of Take on Me, the Aha song and La Bamba. And somehow I created this mashup where she did it with a Spanish beat. And Damon Wayans, John Lovitz. And they needed a third backup singer, so it was me. I'm just. It's just so surreal that I'm crazy living on a cot.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

In Chicago, literally two weeks before. Yeah. I shared an apartment with two other guys, and we'd alternate. One of us has to live in the living room and sleep there, you know, on a couch, of course. And like, three weeks later. Whatever. I'm Madonna's backup singer.

[Stavi]

That's wild, man. Well, what about. Okay, so what about Kona? Was there, like, a thing I Mean, at that point you were, you already were so locked in with Conan where. I mean, just the actual. When we started that shows the actual bits was there, like, I mean, obviously triumph.

[Robert Smigel]

That was outlived. That was. Yeah, but that was years later.

[Stavi]

That was much. Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Like I said with Conan it was all about like coming up with. By not doing what Dave did.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Like that was even going back to before Conan got the gig. I was like dreaming of like, what would it be like? Because Letterman was. We knew Letterman was leaving and they first person they asked was Dana Carvey. And so immediately I was like, we could do sketches. We. Nobody's ever done that.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Like a sketch kind of format where you play characters and you know, Steve Allen had done a little of that. This guy Steve Allen, of course, before I was born.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

But I just knew about him and. But when Conan got it, that's what led to like, yeah, we can do a lot of performance oriented stuff and we. And the philosophy was we're going to make up.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Letterman did. Found humor with stage hands and people on the street. We're going to make up.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And so that's what we did. And we. But we. Like I had so much confidence back then.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Because I was coming off like 8 years of SNL totally banger sketch after banger was really cocky. And you know, it was a little stressful because Lauren had. Was the brilliant mind who realized that Conan might be able to do this.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's a great pull. Yeah. Especially when you see the first year of doughy ass Conan. You know what I mean? He's kind of, he kind of looks kind of chubby too. He looks like a little kid.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

And it's just how his face is. He's obviously not a fat guy ever, but like, but he just looks, looks young.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

So nervous.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. And he's setting up bits for like 10 minutes, you know, so we thought what would be the best thing to do, you know?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And no, he was scared and. But before the show started, he was just this guy who made us all laugh.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

In the, in the office. And I was like, he's gonna be so big from the start between these bits that we're coming up with and him and Lauren would say, did anybody. Do you think, what if he doesn't. Yeah, we got it.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that's.

[Robert Smigel]

We really were like that. It was like, really? Does he have to. Yeah, this is my time, man. Because it was like for us it was Totally. Like, this is going to be our playground where we can do all the silliest.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

That we wouldn't dream. Of course. On Saturday Night Live.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. You know, and you got to do it.

[Robert Smigel]

No.

[Stavi]

And now, now you're in the mud. You're in here with the. In the podcast space and you got. You got your own podcast. Tell people about it.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, yeah, because you are.

[Stavi]

You're here in the slop with the piggies now. You used to be tv film, legendary bit after legendary bit. Of course, let's not forget your star turn as the chemistry teacher in Billy Madison. I've already. I just talked about, you know, Downey's more like Borafil.

[Robert Smigel]

Come on. Movies. It was fun. The guy who got thrown through the door, of course, in Happy Gilmore and a wedding Singer. You know, a lot of people only know me from these five 30 second cameos.

[Stavi]

It really is the iceberg thing where it's like people might know you from, you know, this camera. Like, oh, that's a guy who I get. I guess that's a struggling actor who could only book these things. And then they see you have the fucking largest comedy writing career of all time. It's like the iceberg peaks.

[Robert Smigel]

This most fun acting I ever had was doing Curb. I got to do Curb and I got to play this foul mouth baseball. I was a mechanic who sponsored his softball team. And Larry Charles, the director was like, you know, brought me on, is like, I want you to do a pregame speech. And I was like, can I be dirty? And he's like, please.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

That was. That was the best.

[Stavi]

That's fucking awesome.

[Robert Smigel]

But. But yeah, in terms of. Fuck. What was I thinking about? Here I was. The podcast. Oh, yeah.

[Stavi]

What's going on with the pod?

[Robert Smigel]

So, you know, where can people find, like in my 60s and I'm. I'm clearly past my prime now.

[Stavi]

I don't know you.

[Robert Smigel]

So I was like, time to do a podcast. I mean, that's what so many, you know, so many people. I admire some of my colleagues, right. You know, everybody from Ted Danson to like, you know, practically the whole cast of the Office.

[Stavi]

Every fourth lead on any big sitcom.

[Robert Smigel]

Now everyone's worth.

[Stavi]

There's a rewatch pod.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, we're gonna do. Yeah, Rewatch.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Let's talk about, you know, episode. I love that. Like, I love Susie and Jeff and I love Curb youb Enthusiasm.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

It's one of my favorite shows.

[Stavi]

One of the best shows.

[Robert Smigel]

So I was excited. Oh, Susie and Jeff were doing one. So when they get to season 11, I'll get to be on. And I saw, like, Susie the, like, about a year ago, and I was like, so what. What year are you up to? Oh, we. It got canceled. We made it to, like, season three and a half.

[Stavi]

Yeah. The secret is they have to be sort of famous, but not famous enough that it gets in the way of

[Robert Smigel]

stuff or people just don't want recaps that badly.

[Stavi]

They. Yeah. Well, what h it start? I think the one that really did it was the Sopranos recap.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh.

[Stavi]

And that was Imperioli and Chippa. But Imperial, and it was during the pandemic, and I think the Sopranos is so good.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And Imperial and those two guys have such a. Sharipa is just the man. He's just, like, classic.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Tri state, you know, awesome hospitality, just classic. What you want. And then Imperial is such an interesting. He's got the. He's such a, you know, specific actor, obviously. He's, you know.

[Robert Smigel]

And also, there's no pressure on them to be really funny.

[Stavi]

No, not at all.

[Robert Smigel]

The expectation is much lower than Susie and Jeff.

[Stavi]

Yeah, exactly. A comedy podcast.

[Robert Smigel]

You're right.

[Stavi]

That's a great point. They have to. You're. That's a really great point is it's

[Robert Smigel]

like, it's not as funny as the show.

[Stavi]

If it's a comedy. Exactly. You're right.

[Robert Smigel]

You can do.

[Stavi]

You can do a rewatch on a drama.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Because then being funny is fun, and it's a change of pace. That's a great point. The comedy ones are never gonna work.

[Robert Smigel]

There's also, like, a mystery to, like, what was Javid Chase thinking at this point?

[Stavi]

Right, Right.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, whereas Curb. It's like, oh, wasn't he fucking funny? Oh, my God. Odenkirk killed it.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. He really did kill it. Yeah, he. He really did kill it.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

We'll be right back. Guess when we come back, guess who else killed it.

[Stavi]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

It's a good point.

[Stavi]

But this is not like that. Your podcast.

[Robert Smigel]

My podcast was my wife's idea, actually. So during the pandemic, actually, what I did have a lot of fun doing, I was. I got this opportunity to do a sketch show again. I never wanted to do sketch again. I did this show.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Where it was a terrible idea in my head. It was like, okay, Fox wants to do something like Spitting Image with the fucking live puppets. And I was like, oh, that's terrible. There's already Saturday Night Live. I'd much rather See humans.

[Stavi]

Right, Right.

[Robert Smigel]

Their take on politicians than some fucking inanimate puppet that can't blink or change expressions. And I'm having this conversation with my manager, and I said, you know, the only thing that would be funny is if they interact with it with humans. And then I stopped and like, oh, that would be fucking funny.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

If I got, like, an Alec Baldwin puppet to yell at paparazzi.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Like real paparazzi.

[Stavi]

An Alec Baldwin puppet to call his daughter puppet. A rude little pig. You know, that would be really well, too.

[Robert Smigel]

Alex, a friend.

[Stavi]

No one funnier on 30 Rock. This is the funniest thing of all time.

[Robert Smigel]

It's all right. You dug your hole. Yeah. He's never gonna.

[Stavi]

He's never gonna lose that coming on staff as well.

[Robert Smigel]

Or he'll come and say thanks a lot.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

The matter with you?

[Stavi]

Actually, that would be all. That would be great. Podcasting. Getting dressed down by it by. By Baldwin for now.

[Robert Smigel]

Baldwin puppet on next time.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

He'll just do 30 minutes.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You think this is entertainment? Anyway, so. Yeah. So I. I had a writer's room on. On Zoom, and we just had so much fun. And I, like, had forgotten how much fun it is. The most fun part of doing comedy is coming up with this.

[Stavi]

Totally. The. The riffs. The. The.

[Robert Smigel]

It's like, not for. It's not what I want to do. It's ironic because I said improv is. You know, but, like, riffing is fun. And so I was like, what if we did a show, like we call. We'll call it the Not a Show, and we're just coming up with sketch ideas for a show that's never going

[Stavi]

to happen, of course.

[Robert Smigel]

And that seemed fun, but my wife was like, I don't think. I don't know if that's gonna sell. You know, it's just a bunch of old white men making each other.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

She said, but what if you make it interactive?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And it's like, what if somebody, you know, you have a call in line and people want help? Like, somebody's got to make a speech at a wedding, or somebody's got a job interview and they want to come off funny. Or somebody wants to write somebody a fan letter.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And wants to impress that person, and then you and your comedy friends will punch up, you know, or come up with ideas. And, like, that really is a lot of fun.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. Not only because even if we come up with bad ideas that are funny because they're inappropriate somehow.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And so that's what We've been doing. And I have like, all these funny people on. I'd love to have you on Anytime.

[Stavi]

I'm so down.

[Robert Smigel]

And we would. You know, we've had like, a guy from an acapella group came on and he's like, we really need help with our banter in between songs. That's actually such a hilariously ridiculous premise.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

So I had like, Mikey Day.

[Stavi]

Oh.

[Robert Smigel]

And his writing partner Streeter. They're like, literally two of the best writers who've ever been Very funny guys. They're amazing. And we just had a great time talking to this acapella guy. But then we. They did a show and we had people, like, bring cameras. Oh, wow. And we saw what they incorporated that. We used that. We have like an epilogue. So we also have an epilogue to find out if our. Any of our advice took.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, it's a one. It's this American Life.

[Stavi]

The callback. Yes. Yes. So.

[Robert Smigel]

So, yeah.

[Stavi]

Where are they now?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. What happened? We have epilogues and we bring the person and back and they tell us how they did and we. If they're. If it's an audio thing, we. Or, you know, or if it's video, we. We show clips.

[Stavi]

I love that. That's great. I mean, again, that's just a. You just have done more work. You're doing a better version of this show, basically.

[Robert Smigel]

Because what we do advice.

[Stavi]

We do advice.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

But I love that you're actually catching up with them. And when we get a callback, that always is a. That always is a thrill. So why don't we.

[Robert Smigel]

Why don't we fucking Gonna give. This is season.

[Stavi]

Give some real advice.

[Robert Smigel]

I would do that. I mean, I'll. I'll do my best, but this is. I'm terrible at this.

[Stavi]

This is great.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, every. Every problem they'll have. I'll just try to punch it up.

[Stavi]

Please. No, no joke. That's the. We don't have to help anyone here.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, good.

[Stavi]

We don't have to actually help anyone.

[Robert Smigel]

Not a.

[Stavi]

No, no.

[Robert Smigel]

In healthy, normal person.

[Stavi]

We can roast them.

[Robert Smigel]

That's. You know, I don't want to do.

[Stavi]

We. We've done that.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay.

[Stavi]

Yeah. They know what they're signing up for.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, good. We'll just.

[Stavi]

And tell the people. What's the podcast called? Where.

[Robert Smigel]

It's called Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends. And it's going to be available. It debuts May 8th.

[Stavi]

It's available right now. What is it? What's Today, ELVIS, People like May 8th.

[Robert Smigel]

They like that idea for a date.

[Stavi]

It's the week after May 8th. Is it May 15th? Yeah, it's either May. Yeah, it's. It's May. It's. It's either out or it's about to come. I think the show's out right now.

[Robert Smigel]

Everyone.

[Stavi]

Check it out. What a producer.

[Robert Smigel]

This show starts. Is on.

[Stavi]

It's on Monday.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, so it'll be. Yeah, it's already available. It's available, baby, through iHeart or wherever artists are exploited.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Spotify, Apple Music, you name it. Wherever it is, we're getting pennies on the dollar. We're there.

[Stavi]

Elvis, play us a call, baby.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

What's up, Stav? Eldest, esteemed guests. So I got a little bit of a dilemma. So, my grandma has said since I was a kid that if any of the grandkids get tattoos or piercings, that we get cut out of the will. Now, as things stand, it's just me and one of my cousins still in the paperwork. My grandpa was a farmer all his life. They ended up finding some oil on his land.

[Stavi]

Oh.

[Caller 2]

So I'm pretty sure there's a nice check waiting for me if I hold out. Now, I don't know if she was bluffing or not, but I really want to start getting some tattoos. I'm into, you know, more alternative goth girls, and I think getting added might help me clean up a little bit more in that area. My grandpa passed about five years ago, and I was waiting for my grandma to, you know, before I started getting them.

[Stavi]

This is incredible.

[Caller 2]

And I figured, you know, after grandpa died, she wouldn't stick around for too much longer, but she keeps on kicking, and, you know, she's had some heart problems here and there, but she's not stopping now. I'm 27.

[Stavi]

Problems here and there.

[Caller 2]

My biological clock is starting to tick.

[Stavi]

And your biological clock for your grandma's death?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. To get tattoos?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Biological clock.

[Stavi]

This guy's on the phone with her fucking grandma's cardiologist. He's like, buddy, look, this tattooer is in from fucking Vancouver. If I don't get goth, Chucky, if I don't get Hellraiser on my back, how am I gonna get pussy from Latina baddies? Goth Latinas, you fucking asshole. That's so funny.

[Robert Smigel]

If that's the only way you're gonna get laid, having a goth tattoo, I don't know. I just. I would maybe just. I would hit on your grandma. Maybe. Might have your best shot there.

[Stavi]

Ooh, that's A good point. How can we get grandma to die faster in a positive way? Maybe you get somebody to dick her down. You know, maybe you're both. You. Maybe you could both or, you know, have grandma go out on a high note maybe. Is there more to this call?

[Caller 2]

Eldest biological clock is starting to tick, and I don't know if I should just pull the trigger on these tattoos and disrespect my grandma or if I should hold out, hope she wasn't lying about cutting us out of the will. I don't know, maybe I just get some tattoos you can't see. I don't know. She's like 88.

[Robert Smigel]

So like, could go for a while.

[Caller 2]

I don't know. What do you think?

[Stavi]

My grandma's 94.

[Robert Smigel]

I would think of some other way to attract women than the tattoo. Like maybe, you know, develop a personality. You know what I'm saying? I feel like there's other ways to. Beyond tattoos.

[Stavi]

Sure, sure. And listen, by the way, you could get tattoo. Buy a goth. A tattoo. Now we're talking. You know what I mean? Get her some tattoo. Get. And by the way, you could wear a goth woman.

[Robert Smigel]

Buy her.

[Stavi]

How about the. If you're trying to fuck a goth baddie, why don't you take the 500? I mean, I don't know how much money you have for this tattoo. Be pretend you're like some kind of goth sugar daddy situation, you know what I mean? And by the way, what's stopping you from wearing a all black suit and getting a little eyeliner, you know what I mean? Why does it.

[Robert Smigel]

There's other ways to be goth.

[Stavi]

Let's be Goth. Other. What about some black leather pants? Oil yourself up, get into some of those, you know what I mean? Tattoo. What about. Can you try it on? Can you try on some henna tattoos? You know what I mean? Are you go on vacation?

[Robert Smigel]

Grandma won't know the difference. She's too old. Can't get away with a henna tattoo.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I assume this man, if she's taking it that seriously, he might be Jewish, because that's like a. Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know, a lot in the cemetery.

[Robert Smigel]

Buried in the cemetery. And that's any grandmother's dream for her children is that they get to be buried in a Jewish cemetery. It's like a priority at their feet.

[Stavi]

Most grandmothers want to be buried with you like you're their dog. Like they're King Tut. She wants you in the mausoleum with you, with her. So I would say get goth in other ways. Get goth. You Know, be Toby Maguire in Spider Man 3. Grow out your bangs. The Venom.

[Robert Smigel]

The Venom, the worst. Spider man, it wasn't good.

[Stavi]

But he is emo. He's Venom for a sec. You know what I mean? Channel him. I would say don't.

[Robert Smigel]

You can't.

[Stavi]

And by the way, you thinking you're not disrespecting your grandmother because you're. You've. You've launched a When will my grandma die? Timer the way perverts had like a When will the Olsen Twins turn 18 Timer going. You're. You perversely wanting your grandmother to die so you can get a tattoo is disrespecting problematic. You're not. You're not not being disrespectful right now. You're literally rooting for your grandma.

[Robert Smigel]

Also, I'm pretty sure that goth will go out of style before your grandma dies. Like, you know, I don't know.

[Stavi]

I think it's here to stay.

[Robert Smigel]

Goth is finally here to stay.

[Stavi]

I think it's here to stay. I don't know. You know, I've been doing a lot of touring the Midwest. Goth sort of like the way fashion kind of goes to the middle of the country and everything is like 10 years behind or it just kind of stays.

[Robert Smigel]

Goth started in like the 90s.

[Stavi]

Goth is. Goth is in small towns now. Like, you go to a regular town and like the barista or the lady at Walmart is a little goth. Goth is mainstream. I bet this guy isn't even calling from the. I bet this guy isn't even a coastal elite eldest. Give us a. Let us know where his area code is from. Don't dox him fully.

[Robert Smigel]

He's got to be from. Yeah. Not. Not. Huh.

[Stavi]

We'll bleep it. But it's. Ah. See, I'm 100 correct here.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavi]

Okay. So this buddy, look, Grandma's not around. She's from.

[Robert Smigel]

Don't blow the inheritance.

[Stavi]

The oil start. Yeah. Get some fucking. Get some eyeliner. Oil slick your hair. You know, get a bowl cut like Toby. Get bangs. Get like, bangs you could fucking do over your eyes. And then when you see grandma, clean up nice. But right now, focus on trying to get head without the help of tattoos. That's what I would tell you.

[Robert Smigel]

There's got to be another way. I feel like it would be, like,

[Stavi]

more gratifying if he just learns how to get normal too, because it's like,

[Robert Smigel]

you also don't want to be like a lame tattoo late bloomer.

[Stavi]

That's true. It's like I Think he said he's 27.

[Robert Smigel]

27.

[Stavi]

It's kind of there, but definitely like, you know, especially when you're in your. His real problem some age.

[Robert Smigel]

It's not going to help.

[Stavi]

It gets really depressing when you get the divorce double sleeve when you get the divorce back tat dude, that's a fucking problem. So that's his real issue. It's not okay. So to give him some grace. It's not that he wants his grandma dead. It's that grandma's life is. Happens to be coinciding with his prime tattoo years. So. And I do agree, if you're in your 30s, getting decked out in tattoos and you, you know, and there's not some reason for this, you're not. You didn't beat cancer and you're celebrating. You're just a 30 year old lame guy who was. Who thinks you're cool. That's not gonna work, bro. I promise you. So, yeah, get. Like I said, you can. What are goths into?

[Robert Smigel]

Dracula fangs?

[Stavi]

Yeah,

[Robert Smigel]

you know, I'm, you know, I'm kind of an old guy.

[Stavi]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Robert Smigel]

You were never into. No, but I was back in the 90s. The girls love fangs, so I imagine same thing now.

[Stavi]

They liked fangs in the 90s. Yeah. I didn't know that.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavi]

Well, you weren't a goth guy. Elvira, though I'm sure you must have beat off to Elvira. You know, you're. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

My sons are listening. I can't talk about, you know, I'm not gonna. Wow.

[Stavi]

So your son's listening. So you want them to know their dad's a liar by you?

[Robert Smigel]

No, I might not. Taking the fifth Elvira.

[Stavi]

Oh yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

She was pretty far down on the list.

[Stavi]

Yeah. We have different tastes.

[Robert Smigel]

No, Goth. Yeah, it's. He's gonna be fine. He just needs to. He just needs to find something else. What if he just like, you know, what, what, what are, are there goth activities?

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

That would inspire a goth.

[Stavi]

Here's what you do. Maybe you could say I opened up this makeup whole. I have this makeup store. They got me all this black lipstick I can't use. I'm giving away black lipstick. And then you, you put your address, now you put it on a bowl. It's like the goth girls are coming trick or treating for goth, for black lipstick.

[Robert Smigel]

But then when they show up and it's like, what's with this guy? He's not tattooed.

[Stavi]

Well, that's where I thought the henna might come into contact. Maybe pretend you're a supplier of goth of black lipstick.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

And that it you got there. You got too much at the factory.

[Robert Smigel]

Right?

[Stavi]

Or if you and get your henna

[Robert Smigel]

tattoo and your Dracula fangs and your

[Stavi]

Dracula fangs and I think that ought to do it. I think if you give away black lipstick you should be able to get some pussy from goths. If I had a gavel I would smack it and I would say next question. Elvis, we should get a gave. Ms. Pat will come for your ass. Or Hulk hands. Maybe I could smash Hulk hands together. Not a bad idea. Yeah yeah yeah. This episode of Stavi's World is sponsored by Twisted Tea.

[Caller 1]

Ooh.

[Stavi]

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[Robert Smigel]

Even better.

[Stavi]

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[Caller 2]

Hey Stav, my name is Sam. Big fan for a long time. I hope you guys are doing well. You're in the guest and ld just got a question for you about dealing with some neighbors and or my wife. We are married with two little kids. I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old, both girls. And our next door neighbor has two kids also a little bit older. I think the older one is three years old, not quite four. And he has started peeing outside the house, like on the side of the house where my wife and my daughters could potentially see it.

[Stavi]

The neighbor's kid. The neighbor's three year old boy is pulling his dick out and pissing.

[Robert Smigel]

It's a kid peeing. That's what he's worried about.

[Caller 2]

Side of the house where my wife and my daughters could potentially see it.

[Stavi]

Oh, come on, man.

[Caller 2]

So my wife has brought it to my attention that I need to go and talk to his dad and tell him that this isn't appropriate and it needs to stop. I'm a little uncomfortable about that. I don't want to start trouble with an otherwise good neighbor for something that I think little boys just kind of do.

[Stavi]

Hell yeah, brother.

[Caller 2]

I was hoping you could give me some advice on how to start this conversation.

[Stavi]

Right. All right. Thanks, man.

[Robert Smigel]

Wow.

[Stavi]

You're now gonna be able to do this.

[Robert Smigel]

This guy has. The neighbor has sons. It could be so much worse than a three year old peeing.

[Stavi]

Yeah. I mean, look, dude. Yeah, absolutely. Three year old Ping is like adorable. What are we doing here? Humanity. What's humanity?

[Robert Smigel]

We.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean? It's like people piss. Now if it's his dad, if the dad is pissing at the side. But even can I honestly, if the dad is pissing off the side of

[Robert Smigel]

his porch, that would, that would be fair to.

[Stavi]

You know, listen, I'm just saying I live only my own backyard. I want to be able to piss on my every once in a while.

[Robert Smigel]

I get that. But if, if a little kid is seeing it.

[Stavi]

Right, right. That's true. If the dad is pissing with his dick pointed to your window, that's a big problem, I'll give you that.

[Robert Smigel]

If you could just turn, you know, five degrees to the left so that your dick, even, even the silhouette of your dick, it's just, I don't want

[Stavi]

you do it around sunset so it really. So we really see it.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, that you're the shadow that your dick is casting. It's just. It's not during sunset. It's so long.

[Stavi]

It's too long.

[Robert Smigel]

My daughter can't miss it and it's making me insecure.

[Stavi]

I know it's just a shadow, but I don't like seeing a dick that much bigger than mine outside my own home.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, that's a whole other.

[Stavi]

That's a whole other.

[Robert Smigel]

Another can of worms. Yeah. What if this kid. What if this little kid has a big dick? And that's just making the dad jealous? I can tell he's gonna have a bigger dick than mine. You know, his dick's already kind of dangling. It's kind of dangling.

[Stavi]

I wonder if my dick look like it's three.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. Did it dangle yet?

[Stavi]

How much hang time did my dick

[Robert Smigel]

have at three kids? Like, dangling almost as far as his ball. And I'm sorry, I don't want my daughter to see that.

[Stavi]

Something so obscene, such an obscenely large penis that goes almost down to your whole balls.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. Where there's smoke, there's fire. It's usually about my experience when people complain about their neighbor's kids, dicks scratch the surface and the guy's got insecure dick issues.

[Stavi]

So it's seems like you've got a little ass dick, man.

[Robert Smigel]

And that's okay.

[Stavi]

And that's fine.

[Robert Smigel]

It's okay.

[Stavi]

You can have a version.

[Robert Smigel]

Unless your wife is the one. Your wife's instigating this. So maybe she's. Maybe she is like, trying to let you know. Let you know that you gotta step it up.

[Stavi]

She knows.

[Robert Smigel]

She's like.

[Stavi]

It's making me really uncomfortable having someone with the same size penis as yours pissing outside of their yard. All right, so let's.

[Robert Smigel]

I don't know. I. I just like.

[Stavi]

I don't think.

[Robert Smigel]

I think the wife needs a talking too.

[Stavi]

There is a little bit of that. There is a like. Cuz I think. I guess my question is how often has this happened? If this is a thing where the kid is out there, you know, three times a fucking day or something. Weird. Okay, but if. Did this happen a couple times. Has it gone to the level that you have to say something?

[Robert Smigel]

He makes it sound like it's happening a fair amount.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Did he.

[Stavi]

Did he really specify? Not really specify. He just said talking to him like, you're the producer. I have to tell you that started doing it. This is fucking insane. Recently. Okay. So I would say keep tabs on it. If it raises to the level of something to say where you have to say something first, I would Talk to your wife and be like, look, I get it's a little weird. He's a little kid. Let's not. Let's not be crazy about this. If I were to have a conversation with my neighbor, I would. I would just kind of be joking. Be like, exactly.

[Robert Smigel]

This is kind of a humor me situation. Like, make. Be light about it fully.

[Stavi]

Be like, oh, picked up a new habit.

[Robert Smigel]

Your kid is like, is that like, how. Well, now I'm thinking. Now I gotta think of something funny. Just think of something. Something funny.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I think it's something funny. Don't you have people you could ask who professionally do this? Yeah, dude, just go in there.

[Robert Smigel]

It's like, what's he gonna do when it snows? He's gonna. You know, is he gonna pee? Then we'll know he's done it. I don't know.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I mean, you just gotta go into them and be like, oh, your boys literally just be like, my man's out there. Oh, I see. My man's out there pissing on the fence. Or just. Oh, I know that move. Like, whatever.

[Robert Smigel]

Just gentle. Kind of like, just be like, what's up?

[Stavi]

And just talk to him about it. Because it'd be like, is that like a new phase? Like, what's he.

[Robert Smigel]

Because, by the way, innocently, the parents.

[Stavi]

Don't you think these parents want their kid pissing outside?

[Robert Smigel]

Well, who knows?

[Stavi]

I guess that's true. We got a little. Not to be, you know, again, a coastal elite. We. I did hear a little twang on. On our callers. On our caller's voice.

[Robert Smigel]

That's all right.

[Stavi]

But I think ultimately, I'm with you. It's not that big a deal. Talk to your neighbor. Like, it's kind of a fun thing. And be like, oh. Oh, I see what's going. I remember I used to piss outside all the time. It's like, well, oh, did he just start doing that? Did he just learn about pissing outside or whatever. Whatever.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Like, when my. If my nephew got into a pissing outside phase, we would joke about it.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean?

[Robert Smigel]

Makes sense.

[Caller 1]

If.

[Robert Smigel]

And then the guy, he'll probably be like, what the. Are you joking?

[Stavi]

Look at my kid's dick, you pervert.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, you look. You.

[Stavi]

You know my son pisses outside.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Why the. Are you looking at where my son pisses? Meet me outside tomorrow. And so, yeah, you could be in a duel at high noon for all we know.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

But, you know, I say keep it jokey, but.

[Robert Smigel]

But it's better to Joke about it. Than to confront him in a serious way. Hey, I'm really. Hey, man, we gotta talk.

[Stavi]

I'm really. Everything okay?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. It's about. It's about the. Your son and his tendency to. You know what I'm talking about. I think you know what I'm talking about.

[Stavi]

Imagine hearing that about your toddler. Someone take that tone. My wife's a little worried my infant children might see your son's penis. That's the other thing. Your kids are small, too. Who fucking cares? Who gives a fuck?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, it's kind of healthy not to be. No, but seriously, you don't want to introduce shame at that age.

[Stavi]

That's a great point.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

And it does feel like your wife is coming at this from some type of propriety thing. And it's like, guess what? Little kids do inappropriate things all the fucking time. He's a three year old. It doesn't matter as long as this kid isn't pissing outside his hole in a year. All right, I think we really clearly solved that guy's problem. Next question. Elders. Yeah, chill.

[Robert Smigel]

How far are they? So far, neither people had a serious problem at all.

[Stavi]

No, that's the beauty of this.

[Robert Smigel]

Drama queens. Okay.

[Caller 1]

Savvy and eldest. And guest. Basically, what I want to ask is. So I'm a sex worker and escort in particular. So I just want to thank you for your support of sex workers on your podcast. And we appreciate that.

[Stavi]

We're hopeful. We're very pro ho on this podcast, Jin.

[Caller 1]

Because I have this client, and he is really hot and married and cheating on his wife. The normal mo. And basically, the last time that he came to see me, he admitted that a couple of appointments before he. The condom broke while we were having sex, and he ended up coming inside of me.

[Stavi]

Why did you pick this for Robert, man?

[Robert Smigel]

This is the first real problem. This is the first one that's an actual problem.

[Caller 2]

I'm.

[Stavi]

I'm good.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm not gonna have good advice, but I'm. I'm interested in hearing it. It takes a wholesome twist. Oh, it does. All right. Okay.

[Caller 1]

That he knew the condom broke like last time I saw him. And really wholesome.

[Stavi]

This is the. This is the Pretty Woman reboot. This is the gritty reboot. No.

[Caller 1]

That if it were any other client, I'd cut him off for pulling some like that.

[Stavi]

Oh, brother.

[Caller 1]

But he's, like, really hot and really good.

[Stavi]

Stop, dude, stop. What are you talking about?

[Caller 1]

Meeting. I've ever had, and I don't really want to give him up. As a client, and my question to you is.

[Stavi]

Must.

[Caller 1]

Do I have to.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Caller 1]

Do I have to never see him again?

[Robert Smigel]

Yes.

[Caller 1]

Is that, like, really, really fucked up?

[Robert Smigel]

Yes.

[Caller 1]

Or can I just, like, be more aware.

[Robert Smigel]

No.

[Caller 1]

In our sessions while I'm seeing him.

[Stavi]

Are you out of your fucking mind?

[Caller 1]

Kind of just, like, get over it. Because I like to see him. So, you know, that's my dilemma. Thank you for listening. Let me know what you think. Bye. Bye.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm more torn than you are. I'm sorry. When you think about it.

[Stavi]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Robert Smigel]

People are performing a service. Like you say, you're. You claim to be pro ho.

[Stavi]

I am. I am. I am.

[Robert Smigel]

This is a woman who's actually deriving a modicum of real pleasure.

[Stavi]

Real pleasure. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

From one of her clients.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Robert Smigel]

And, you know, most of the time, she's just taking it for the team, as it were.

[Stavi]

Of course. Of course.

[Robert Smigel]

Taking it for the team. Sucking it for the team. Taking it from the behind for the team.

[Stavi]

Yes, yes. Servicing the team in a number of ways.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, yeah. Worst of all, just whacking it.

[Stavi]

Whacking it for the team.

[Robert Smigel]

Here. I. I don't know. There's a part of me that's like. It's not like being a sex worker is the safest job in the first place.

[Stavi]

Sure, sure.

[Robert Smigel]

So it's like, oh, you might get pregnant. I mean, I. I'm assuming that the guy. I mean, he would raise it, of course. First of all.

[Stavi]

Yeah. It would marry her and raise it, of course.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, no, I'm not kidding.

[Stavi]

I would make an honest Christian out of her.

[Robert Smigel]

So I guess she didn't get pregnant.

[Stavi]

I guess so.

[Robert Smigel]

So maybe the guy's shooting blanks.

[Stavi]

Oh, it's possible.

[Robert Smigel]

What if she.

[Stavi]

I'm sure she's got a triple.

[Robert Smigel]

Gets the guy. What if she tells the guy, you got to get a vasectomy?

[Stavi]

He'll be like, yeah, I just did. And then be like, oh, good news. I actually got one yesterday, so can we keep going?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, right.

[Stavi]

I. That's a good point. I would say, ultimately, yeah, you'd steal your job. And let's say you worked at Subway and one of the people there was really hot.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay, sorry.

[Stavi]

Yeah, it was really.

[Robert Smigel]

You're sexy accidentally jizzed on the credit card that he handed her.

[Stavi]

And as soon as you made the best Italian BMT of your life, he not nuts all over it, doesn't tell you.

[Robert Smigel]

And you take a confession to make. I mean, I did. I did press 25 for your tip, but I don't know if you noticed, but there was jizz all over my credit card, and it probably clogged up your machine.

[Stavi]

And to pay is not working.

[Robert Smigel]

Just notorious Risk my machine getting clogged up again. But he gave me a 25% tip. I don't know.

[Stavi]

Yeah, okay. Ultimately, I think you should make a principled stand here, because this is your job, and you have to set baseline standards. And if you start letting this motherfucker nut in you, next thing you know, he's doing weirder shit.

[Robert Smigel]

Wait a minute. Who says he's going to continue to nut in her? He's. He's. He's. What if he's like, I swear to God, you know, you can inspect the condom before we. You know, I really don't think create that kind of standard.

[Stavi]

I think she's. She's not in control here at all. He has the ability to control her. Clearly.

[Robert Smigel]

That's fair.

[Stavi]

And so I think.

[Robert Smigel]

I don't. I mean, and I'm gonna guess, yeah,

[Stavi]

the psychology of, you know, if you're. If you're an escort, a lot of people I've met who are sex workers, there's a psychological component to what attracts you to that, why you're good at it. Whatever. Whatever that. I think this guy's probably tapping into some problematic in your, you know, in your sex worker psychology.

[Robert Smigel]

But.

[Stavi]

But he.

[Robert Smigel]

Does he. What about the fact that he confessed? Like, think about it.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Robert Smigel]

If he saw he broke a condom, he'd be like, how many other guys have. Could have jizzed, you know?

[Stavi]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Robert Smigel]

Like, I don't have to. To tell her. It's also, she doesn't have to ever know that it was me.

[Stavi]

It's also a little worrisome that as a professional, you're not keeping tabs on who nuts in you and who doesn't.

[Robert Smigel]

Well, yeah, the fact that he had

[Stavi]

to confess is a little wor. It was a little worrisome about the OSHA standards.

[Robert Smigel]

She must be really into this guy.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, she was in the moment.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, exactly.

[Stavi]

When it. When your whole day is me, you, and Eldis and then some. Some hot guy walks in, you're like, oh, nice. So I get it. I get why you're swept up in the moment. But I would say you have to set boundaries. And here's the other thing. Talk to more professional sex workers, obviously, who know about this, who have funny podcasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But reach out to people who are. Because my hunch is that. I get why I get The. I get the reason you want to. You don't want to do this. But I think you must set a standard for everybody to keep you safe to make sure that this guy is, you know, who knows? Maybe this guy confessed. Maybe he's a good guy. Maybe he's also playing mind games here. Maybe he likes having control over this person who maybe at first had very strict boundaries, but the more they get to know each other, they're loosening and he's seeing. How much can I get out of. I'm.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm.

[Stavi]

This is pure speculation.

[Robert Smigel]

I like to see the best in people.

[Stavi]

I like to see

[Robert Smigel]

been my, you know, know, standard for. As a comedy writer. I get that as a dog puppeteer.

[Stavi]

When it comes to philanderers who. Not in sex workers, you like to see the. You like to see the best in them.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, I'm more of an Ellen DeGeneres kind of comedian.

[Stavi]

You know, a Cosby DeGeneres type.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And our worry here is that this guy ends up a real Cosby.

[Robert Smigel]

I feel good comedians.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I see that.

[Robert Smigel]

No, you're right.

[Stavi]

He could.

[Robert Smigel]

I just, I don't know enough about the guy. We have the guy call in.

[Stavi]

That's a great we. I would actually love to talk to him as well, but that's what I'm going to tell you.

[Robert Smigel]

Reach.

[Stavi]

Talk to like some, some more experienced sex workers. That unfortunately is my. And by the way, make sure you're double checking and seeing who's nodding in you and who's not. This. You're in a dangerous line of work for multiple reasons. You don't want to get some kind of weird, you know, disease or whatever.

[Robert Smigel]

So it sounds like most guys she's just, it's just a job. And that's like all she's thinking about.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

She's at the factory and then this one guy.

[Stavi]

She's in the zone.

[Robert Smigel]

She's in the zone.

[Stavi]

I get it.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, I get it.

[Stavi]

She's getting her ate nicely.

[Robert Smigel]

Kind of feel like, you know, you want her to be in the zone once in a while.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Perks of the job. Yeah, yeah. So look, at the very least. Least. Okay. Reach out to them. Reach out. Talk to people who are more experienced. At the very least, have a real, like, if you ever do that again, you're conversation set a real boundary. But my hunch is you must maintain boundaries when you're doing a job like this.

[Robert Smigel]

And you know, you know, we, we're doing the best we can, but I just Want to offer a disclaimer? I'm a idiot. Let's just make that. Yeah. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Talking about. And you know, so just take that into account.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Robert's like, I've never cheated on my wife with a sex worker. Don't ever listen to me at all.

[Robert Smigel]

That's true.

[Stavi]

And it is true. It is true. I said that in a jokey manner. But we all. I think we all know that that's

[Robert Smigel]

excited by the set designer at Saturday Night Live. You know, this is as nerdy as it gets.

[Stavi]

This is an earnest man.

[Robert Smigel]

It's takes a nerd to make fun of nerds.

[Stavi]

That is true. That is true.

[Robert Smigel]

And we've got affection.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah. We've got a nerd pervert over here. We've got a classic nerd over not

[Robert Smigel]

saying I'm not a pervert. Don't pigeonhole me.

[Stavi]

I'm sorry. You're right.

[Robert Smigel]

Just because I'm straight laced and, you know, nerdy doesn't make me not a pervert. Jesus.

[Stavi]

Right? And that's up that I would assume that man. And I hope you accept my apologies again.

[Robert Smigel]

My sons are listening.

[Stavi]

They're pissing out in the backyard as we speak.

[Robert Smigel]

I would have let them.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I don't know. Again, I just like, there's nothing wrong

[Stavi]

with shame at that age.

[Robert Smigel]

Shame at that age. And. And like, you know, shame is. Shame is a plague.

[Stavi]

I think it is.

[Robert Smigel]

In many ways. It's a plague. And this. This lady as a sex worker shouldn't have shame.

[Stavi]

She shouldn't. But the john who nodded in her without telling her.

[Robert Smigel]

But he did tell her.

[Stavi]

That's right. You're right.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, he exhibited some shame.

[Stavi]

Isn't there a place for forgiveness in this world?

[Robert Smigel]

Again, it's a great question. If Triumph were here, he would say the same.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Triumph is very pro sex worker, if I had to guess.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, yeah. Triumph helped Frank Sinatra bury hookers in the desert. He's kind of a long history of back when you could call them hookers.

[Stavi]

Of course. Of course. That's back in the day, folks. Now we would end with men.

[Robert Smigel]

Baby doobie do.

[Stavi]

What else we got?

[Caller 2]

Eldest and guests. I am a bartender. I have some regulars who come in probably like five days a week. Four or five days a week. Every time they.

[Stavi]

They nut the beer without telling.

[Caller 2]

Three beers and three shots before they go to their bartending jobs. And then they tip me like 30 or 40 bucks.

[Stavi]

Nice respect on that.

[Caller 2]

30 or $40 bill every time.

[Stavi]

That's alcoholism. For the love of the game, by the way.

[Caller 2]

Kind of.

[Robert Smigel]

So he's torn because they nutted inside him. And I want to keep this going. After three or four drinks, they want a nut inside me. And sometimes because they're drunk, they forget to use a condom. And I don't want to give birth to, you know, a female tourist.

[Stavi]

Sure. That is what 70 of the calls on this show amount to. It's true. Come back, there will be another nutting inside you. Question for sure. I'm promise.

[Robert Smigel]

Sorry.

[Stavi]

This is hilarious. So respect to these. I love when you see a bartender. When I'm in a bar at happy hour and you see a guy come in. You just see a guy come in, put fucking 20 on the thing. The guy serves him. It's exactly the situation. Usually you see beer in a shot and the guy leaves immediately. That's one of my favorite things to watch. Just as an addict, real addiction, this is so. It's so about ritual because there's a bartender, I guess they don't want to seem, you know, but they could sneak getting fucked up at their job if they wanted to.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

If they really wanted you, they could drink for free. But going there, supporting another guy, supporting the whole ecosystem of drunks.

[Caller 2]

Right.

[Stavi]

I love seeing shit like this. It's like, see, it's like, you know, being a fat guy just getting an ice cream cone on a hot day for just. For just cause, you know, you know what? It's dessert time. It's time to support my local ice cream truck. Yeah, I have ice cream at home. But I'm getting them fucking Mr. Softy here because I want to help the fat ecosystem. Let's finish. Let's see what else they have to say.

[Caller 2]

Eldis kind of worried, like, I know I can't afford to do that. Should I ask them to stop doing it? That sounds crazy. I don't want to my own money. No, but like, they don't need to be doing that. If they like 10 bucks, I'd be fine. I don't know.

[Robert Smigel]

I feel like bartenders really like, ask

[Caller 2]

him to stop pay before you didn't need it.

[Stavi]

Do you know the career of Kevin Spacey? Have you heard of Pay it Forward? That's the only thing I know him from. He's a great actor and a great guy. From what I can tell from the character there, I think it's. I think it's based on.

[Robert Smigel]

Heard much.

[Stavi]

I think it's actually based on him as a guy from what I can tell because I'm not really familiar. Yeah, yeah, I think he's. I think, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I'd like to do more research on him.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I don't know much except he's very. All I've heard is that he's very warm and giving with children.

[Stavi]

Yeah, he's kind of like. He's really. He's a big mentor for people in, in the community, you know, just in general.

[Robert Smigel]

He has. He is. Conducted events in mixers, parks.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

At night.

[Stavi]

Networking events. Events, yes, networking events.

[Robert Smigel]

Public parks, parks. Often late at night because people work.

[Stavi]

People work days, of course. And if you wanted, you know, you don't have time for self improvement unless it's off hours.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. And this is when, you know, he waits until people have already had their, you know, their day and they've gotten all their activities out. Maybe they've seen a movie, now they're tired. Their resistance is low. I don't mean resistance to getting nutted. I mean their resistance to.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Robert Smigel]

Changing their life, not wanting to have a good time.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

In a public park in the middle of the night.

[Stavi]

Their inhibitions are low.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, their inhibitions are low. You know. Anyway, he's a facilitator.

[Stavi]

He's a facilitator.

[Robert Smigel]

He's like a party facility.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. So I would say, can you be the Kevin. No, no, this is great. Be the Kevin Spacey you wish to see in the world. You know, the pay it forward, pay it forward thing. So you're getting tipped out of control. Instead of telling these people fuck, you know, you could. Look, you could have a conversation with them. Sure. Why don't you go tip a fucking. Even poorer bartender than you.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Or give a.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, I mean, again, I'm a nerd. I don't do a lot of this stuff.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Robert Smigel]

How many bartenders do you see who really take it on? Take on that role of like, this guy's a mess, he's got to stop.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Are they pretty consistent?

[Stavi]

I think that's an old fashioned archetype.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

I don't really think you see that anymore. You don't like the guy polishing the glasses as they come in, hey, what's going on? Life isn't Cheers. You know what I mean?

[Robert Smigel]

No, I know, I understand, but.

[Stavi]

But I think this.

[Robert Smigel]

I'm asking, but.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. No, I think, I think, though, this guy's saying it is cheers. It's kind of cheers for them, though, because he sees them all the Time, five days a week. So they have some relationship, but they're functional.

[Robert Smigel]

They're not obviously they're going to work.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

So they're not even. It's not like they're making a fuss in the. They're not making a scene in the bar.

[Stavi]

No, no, no.

[Robert Smigel]

He's want to.

[Stavi]

He just is being the guy for that. Yeah. That you're saying, who even is this guy? This guy even exists? This guy wants to be the caring, bartending archetype. Right. Which is cute, but I also.

[Robert Smigel]

But on the other hand, you're a bartender.

[Stavi]

You're a fudgeing bartender and they're bartenders. These aren't like, these aren't like college kids. Like, I remember when I, when I went to college. College, my scholarship. Just put the money in my account and I was like, what the are you doing? Like, and I did. Damn it. Like there were times where there'd be like a thousand less than I needed to pay for school. Because that. For like two weeks. I saw the account, it was so. These aren't like, you know, college kids can't afford it.

[Robert Smigel]

Kind of like telling a coke dealer, dude, I'm a little worried. Are you? You, Are you snorting, dude? I'm a little worried.

[Stavi]

What's up with this turquoise pinky nail you just got installed?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just. You gotta, you gotta pull it back a little.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

From the dealing. No, no, from the, from you. I'm worried about you. One step at a time.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

Looks like a crazy fall before you walk. Yeah, let's take care of you.

[Stavi]

No, I'm still gonna deal. Of course.

[Robert Smigel]

You gotta make a living.

[Stavi]

Yeah, but you can't. Listen, they know. By the way, these are probably older bartenders than him.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

I think this guy, this is the circle of life. This guy's like, these guys can't afford it. He's in his 20s. These are 37 year old bartenders. They're broken down. You know what I mean? They have nothing. They're about to get. I have a buddy who was talking, who's like about to get divorced and he's like on vacation now because he's like, that fucking bitch isn't getting half. He's like, I'm dwindling this shit down before she gets shit. These guys could be spending their ex wife's future settlement money for all you know. Right? Yeah, these guys are down, dude. They're coming every day and getting three shots and three beers and you think A little talking to from a 27 year old bartender is going to change their lives.

[Robert Smigel]

They're not going to listen to them.

[Stavi]

They're going to be like, that's cute, honey. And then they're going to. Worst case scenario, they're like, oh, thanks, man. They will never come back.

[Robert Smigel]

They'll never come back.

[Stavi]

They'll be like, they'll go to the. The bar next door.

[Robert Smigel]

Obviously think they're. They've got it under control. If they're able to work.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, seven hour shift after that.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. They got. They got their system. And speaking as a man who. For like there was three years of my life that are a complete fugue state. Right. Where I was just like so addicted to mostly food, but also pills and drugs and whatever the fuck at the same time. They're probably doing a great job. They're probably. I'm. I was in the fucking zone when my addictions were completely controlling me. Because that's how you get away with staying addicted. You have to stay good at your job. And so look, there will be a rock bottom for them. There is for everyone. You ain't the motherfucker that's taking them out of it. Enjoy the extra fucking $240 a week. You're fine.

[Robert Smigel]

Or if you feel guilty, give the money to a methadone clinic.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, keep. Listen. Yeah. I think the beautiful halfway point here is donate a little bit of it. If you really.

[Robert Smigel]

You know what I mean? You know a rehab center.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, totally, totally, totally. Yeah, yeah. Go to a. Go to a. Buy all the stale donuts and coffee for a 12 step meeting or some shit.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean? You'll figure it out.

[Robert Smigel]

It's like one of the dumbest things that there was a trend. I don't know if it's still happening. Do you remember this when. And I'm a tree hugger. Sure, sure, sure.

[Stavi]

Me too. Of course.

[Robert Smigel]

Nerd.

[Stavi]

Yep.

[Robert Smigel]

Saturday Night Live. Whatever. I'm so many bad things. That's. Yeah, whatever.

[Stavi]

Old piece of. You want me to keep going?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, yeah. Ugly. Receding hairline.

[Stavi]

I'd say fully bald, but sure. Receding hairline's fine too. All right. All right.

[Robert Smigel]

Thank you.

[Stavi]

The crowd disagrees with me. All right. I've been proven wrong.

[Robert Smigel]

He has some hair. He has some hair. I forgot what my point was.

[Stavi]

I'm a piece of tree hugger. Liberal.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, yeah. Do you remember when. So this is like the. Having it both ways.

[Stavi]

Yes, yes.

[Robert Smigel]

Donating to a methanol. Remember when People, there was this thing that was going on where if you were environmentally conscious, they would figure out your carbon footprint.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

So you wouldn't have to sacrifice anything. Like.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

Your cast guzzling car or the insane amount of heat or air conditioning.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Robert Smigel]

It's a million things that we all live with. And half the, you know, people complain about cars and all our fucking. All our vcrs and televisions are, like on all the time. They've got clocks and that. Just as bad. But anyway, I remember. I'm not going to say who, but a comedy writer who was an activist was like, you got to do this. It's great. You know, they figure out your carbon footprint and then you have to make a donation.

[Stavi]

Oh, and that fixes it, huh? Isn't that convenient?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

All I have to do is give some random guy and this.

[Robert Smigel]

And we're talking about, like, you're polluting the environment. You're speeding up.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

The death of the planet.

[Stavi]

What if you made.

[Robert Smigel]

But I gave money.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

To people who are gonna, you know, protest. People like me. You know, this.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Robert Smigel]

This allows them to, you know, break up meetings with Chevron corporate. Corporate speakers and. And, you know.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

They walk on stage and they say, you're. And we, you know, so throw some paint on them.

[Stavi]

Something old school. Throw oil on an oil exec. That's not bad for you guys. I'm my. I take the.

[Robert Smigel]

Dude.

[Stavi]

Domestic terrorism. We have two different opinions here. I'm saying fund it and, you know. But I. You could do both.

[Robert Smigel]

I think there's fun. Domestic terrorism. I mean, look what happened. I mean, some of it works like, nobody wears fur anymore.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

That's pretty great.

[Stavi]

That's what I'm saying.

[Robert Smigel]

It's. It's.

[Stavi]

But I know you're saying where it was like. It was a. It was kind of like the thing where the Catholic Church is, like, giving you dispensations or whatever, where it's like, oh, yeah, you can keep sinning. Just. Just give us 80 bucks.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

So it's like. Yeah, it's.

[Robert Smigel]

It's like you're. You're making up for what you're. For the damage you're doing.

[Stavi]

And by the way, you're not. You're not. Because you could just do both. You could actually, you know, not pollute and give money if you really wanted to make a difference.

[Robert Smigel]

I'll give money, but only if I can, you know.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah. It's the breaking even. You're basically just like, well, breaking even. That's the highest form of. Of activism I could possibly think of.

[Robert Smigel]

No.

[Stavi]

How about.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah, move it and then move it back.

[Stavi]

Yeah, but you don't. Listen, buddy, you're not fixing the. No, no, you're right. That is dumb. And it's like, look, you're not gonna. You can talk to them in the way that they're regulars and you got. You can have. You can have a rapport, and I think that's fine. But don't ask them about their tipping. They know what the they're doing. It's not about you. If it's not you, it's somebody else. And. Yeah, you know what? That's a good point. Don't even bother donating any money. Use it on fud. Buy it on cool shit. Get sex workers and use a condom the whole time and tip them. Well, there you go. Everybody's getting fed in the Stavi's world ecosystem this way.

[Robert Smigel]

Nice.

[Stavi]

You know, and maybe subscribe to Robert's new podcast.

[Robert Smigel]

We've accomplished a lot.

[Stavi]

Eldis, you have something fun for us to go out on here, little buddy.

[Caller 1]

Hey, Stav. Hey, Elvis. Hey, Guest. I hope you're all having a wonderful day. To keep it short, I'm planning a little Euro trip with my best friend for the summer. And we're going to be bopping around, going to a couple of different places. And one city that I'm super excited about is Amsterdam, because I've never been before. And as with probably every other stoner on the planet, it's been like a lifelong dream to.

[Stavi]

So funny.

[Caller 1]

Space cake and do mushrooms at a cafe in Amsterdam. So I really, really want to.

[Robert Smigel]

Even for non stoners, it's a dream.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so funny when you go there and it's like. Because it is awesome. But the. But I hate to now I'm being a fucking pothead hipster where I'm like, sister, it's not what it used to be where. It's like when you went, dude, the first time you went and leave. Weed is illegal here, right? And you smoke weed there. It feels. It's. You're doing something illegal in broad daylight. You're like, now. I mean, I have. I have like probably $800 worth of different weed that I've forgotten. Just in this. I went. I bought weed with a fucking debit card. You know what I mean? Like, but not to be a sorry to. It still is pretty fun when you can't. When you hit it a cafe and

[Robert Smigel]

you do the whole thing, you're gambling in Las Vegas. Like you do it in your basement now?

[Stavi]

Yes, yes.

[Robert Smigel]

But there's a glamor to doing it.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

In this town where everybody does.

[Stavi]

Where so many people have killed themselves.

[Robert Smigel]

That's the thing I can't get out

[Stavi]

of my head when I'm in Vegas Hotel, the nice hotel. I'm like, vegas, Thousands of people have killed themselves in here. I meant the fun. I won't say a real name, but, man, you're just in one of those. You're like 10% of the rooms in here have seen death.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

Easy. And that's the worst. They've seen a lot of other too, you know, but still, the glitz and the glamour still does get you when you're on. When you're on that strip, baby.

[Robert Smigel]

Well, Vegas isn't what it used to be either.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that's true.

[Robert Smigel]

I guess everybody dresses like you.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

When I was like, like 14 years old, my parents took me to Vegas.

[Stavi]

Oh, wow.

[Robert Smigel]

Which they were very cool parents, you know.

[Stavi]

That's awesome.

[Robert Smigel]

And. But we had to like, bonding money.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

No, we, we like. And I had to wear like a jacket at the casino.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

You know, and somehow they let us play back then it was, you know, all mob run and nobody gave a. So I played blackjack. It was.

[Stavi]

Was as a 14 year old in a.

[Robert Smigel]

In a big lapel, super wide, probably brown. My suit.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

It was the seventies.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

But. Yeah, so I get the but.

[Stavi]

But that's actually a great point.

[Robert Smigel]

I wonder if Amsterdam is just like filled with cargo short kids.

[Stavi]

I think it kind of unfortunately is.

[Robert Smigel]

It is now.

[Stavi]

It literally. It's not guys that dress like me. It's literally me now. Everybody goes to like. I love Amsterdam. You know what I mean? And I'm in a floor. I'm in a Hawaiian in shorts. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not. But I think. I don't know what it was back in the day, but still Vegas is a great point. Is a great comp. Because it's like. Yeah, it's not what it used to be, but there's still. We. We play a lot of casinos. It's not Vegas, you know, the other casino. They're fun, but you're nice.

[Robert Smigel]

Vegas is so much more cool looking than the daytime.

[Stavi]

It really.

[Robert Smigel]

I mean, so is New York, actually. But. Yeah, but there is something at night with all the. The neon in. Totally one of those.

[Stavi]

No, they tapped in.

[Robert Smigel]

You can't see the cargo shorts at night.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just everything's okay. Let's finish her. Let's finish.

[Caller 1]

The problem is my friend who I'm going with doesn't really do drugs like that. Like, she will, she'll partake a little bit, but it's just overall not really her thing. So if I wanted to go, you know, eat some space cake or like smoke some weed, she likely would come with me, but just not like, do it herself.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

And it's not really fun to, you know, be stoned or on mushrooms by yourself while your friend is sober next to you.

[Robert Smigel]

Make friends.

[Caller 1]

But I also don't know if I'm ever going to get a chance to go to Amsterdam again. So my question is, should I just do drugs anyway, like by myself for

[Stavi]

sure, or should I keep going?

[Robert Smigel]

Right?

[Caller 1]

Be mature and forego the share. Enjoy some quality silver.

[Robert Smigel]

Nobody over 12 says the word mature.

[Caller 1]

Hope and pray that I make it back to Amsterdam one day. What do you think?

[Robert Smigel]

This is so easy.

[Stavi]

Come on, do drugs. What are we even talking about here? Do the drugs. And by the way, I'll say I, me and elders have actually benefited from this. We have been. We have a friend, friend of the program, Straight George, who does not really do drugs, you know, and so we've.

[Robert Smigel]

Your friend isn't judging you.

[Stavi]

Yes, exactly. As long as you. I would say it's about the dynamic because I have. I would actually say if you're with a really close friend who you trust and like, having them be sober is a positive someone now is ma Google Mapsing. Because I me, you know, I've been fucked up. I'll have plenty of days where I'll just kind of get up beyond, right? You know, I'll take 100mg edibles, I'll walk around and I'll be trying to get dinner for six hours. Because I'm just confused. I'm like, I should go here, dude. Oh, fuck. I'm on the wrong train. Whereas, like, we had a beat. One of the best, some of the best memories of my life for me and eldest stoned out of our fucking minds on mushrooms and straight George driving us down the fucking. We were on. Where was it? Was it the PC? Yeah, Mulholland Drive. We, yeah, we went up. We went to the pch. It was awesome.

[Robert Smigel]

Could he handle that? Like a whole week in Amsterdam? Like, would it get old?

[Stavi]

But I think he gave us one awesome day, right? We had that one great day. Yeah, that it was all about getting up. But I would say for her, yeah, like smoking a little weed that doesn't count as getting up to me, that's like having a couple beers. Right. Like, I.

[Robert Smigel]

If you're all she said she wanted

[Stavi]

to do, she want to take mushrooms, right? Well, I would say you don't do mushrooms. You do mushrooms once in the week. I don't think you would. You're not doing mushrooms twice, five times a day. Yeah, that's it. And by the way, we actually knew an insane guy who was addicted to mushrooms. And that should have been the tell that this guy was going to lose his mind. People, when people move to New York and can't hack standups, when they move here, they start doing like getting addicted to mushrooms.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh God.

[Stavi]

And making weird. Anyway, so I would say, tell your friend.

[Robert Smigel]

I think it really depends a little on the friend. Just want to make sure that the friend can handle it.

[Stavi]

That's fair.

[Robert Smigel]

Because. Okay, again, my sons are watching, so I shouldn't.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Robert Smigel]

Talk about this as if it's cool.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Robert Smigel]

But you know, they. They have. They're in high school, they have friends who are doing well.

[Stavi]

I'm sure they don't know about drugs. No, no.

[Robert Smigel]

But one of my. One of my sons has a man million allergies and immuno immune issues. So he can't drink, he can't do all kinds of. And he has a good time. He's like, he's amused by his friends.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Robert Smigel]

At parties he's like. He's used to it.

[Stavi]

Totally.

[Robert Smigel]

I don't know if he could handle like a whole week of it. Totally. Amsterdam.

[Stavi]

But here's the other thing. It's a. This is a conversation, Right. Does your friend want to do something kind of boring that you don't really want? Can we do a little horse trading where it's like, you want to go to some museum I don't give a fuck about?

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I'll give you your boring museum. Although I will say the museums in Amsterdam are great.

[Caller 2]

Sure.

[Stavi]

Is there something you can do for your friend? And you can also say, by the way, look, if you. If you and your friend were going to fucking Rome and she was like, I want to spend. I want to see the Coliseum one day. And you're like, I'm not going, you dumb bitch. You'd be like, oh, that's kind of rude.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

You're going to Amsterdam.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You were going, hey, I want to do mushrooms one day and walk around the parks. I mean, of course that's what you do. So I think it's really reasonable to have a.

[Robert Smigel]

It sounds like her Friends would probably be cool with. Your friend knows you, that's all that you can ask. As long as the friend's not judging you, doesn't have a problem.

[Stavi]

Totally. So is that, that's my question. Is, is your friend somebody who's cool and can do. And again, we're not talking a week because A week. If you're talking about like, like being around somebody who's fucked up for a week while you're sober, that's hell.

[Robert Smigel]

That's what I'm saying.

[Stavi]

But one day could be kind of fun.

[Robert Smigel]

How long did she say she was going?

[Stavi]

She went for a week.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah. A week.

[Stavi]

Again, as the resident mushrooms expert, I don't even. I don't even think this is a put on for your sons anymore. I think you just really don't know, you know how to do hard drugs. Not that mushrooms are hard. You're not doing mushrooms. She wants to do it one day when the weather's nice. Go outside, walk around. You also want to. They have a specific kind of mushroom. I will say this. You have to chew a lot. They're fresh mushrooms. They're not dried, so there's less drugs in them. The dried ones are much more potent. So you have to chew a horrible, weird tasting mushroom for a long time. Those are some bad. Yeah, yeah. The, the truck, they call them truffles there. Either way. And here's the other thing. They have different strengths. So you could do some mild. And we did some mild little mushrooms one day. My buddy. Because I've gone to Amsterdam twice with the same friend, Straight George. And he,

[Robert Smigel]

he.

[Stavi]

The first time he did.

[Robert Smigel]

Is that all he's known for,

[Stavi]

that

[Robert Smigel]

he doesn't do weed and mushrooms?

[Stavi]

Pretty much.

[Robert Smigel]

He's kind of the absence of a personality. That's his thing.

[Stavi]

Yeah. He's sort of the only guy who's a real person in our friend group. He's got a real job. He came to.

[Robert Smigel]

He came on the tour.

[Stavi]

He came on the tour just to kind of make sure we were eating vegetables and he did like laundry. He's the man. He's one of our. My best friends. But yeah, find the right thing, figure it out. I think you can get away with one day of mushrooms with this friend and a little toking every once in a while. Going to a cafe and you smoke a joint and your friend gets coffee. Yeah, that's fine.

[Robert Smigel]

Right?

[Stavi]

They do that in Amsterdam all the time. So. So it's really about the friend. You're right.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

See the right.

[Robert Smigel]

And also about her is she. Does she have a mature right approach to going to Amsterdam, or is she, like, such a geek that she's like, I gotta get high all the time.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right. Don't be corny about it.

[Robert Smigel]

Exactly.

[Stavi]

Don't come with your own reggae drug like that. You got a hat. You got the big Bob Marley hat and fake dreads. You're like, Whoa, man. It's 4, 420 somewhere, you know, you don't want to be doing that.

[Robert Smigel]

No, no. Everyone will point and laugh if you're just. And they'll bond with your friend.

[Stavi]

Yeah, absolutely. But, yes, you're going to Amsterdam. She knows what the it is. If you. Again, if you're going to Hawaii and your friend's like, I'm not that interested in the beach. They're an. You know what I mean? Like, you. You get at least one beach trip.

[Robert Smigel]

But I see the museums.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

In Hawaii.

[Stavi]

But yes. That's a very long answer to a short. Do the drugs is the. Is the. Is our. Is. My advice, Roberts is a little more nuanced.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh.

[Caller 1]

Just.

[Robert Smigel]

Just make sure your friends, you know, respect your friends. Tolerance for it.

[Stavi]

I agree.

[Robert Smigel]

And your friends should respect your desire to have some fun, your lifelong drink and finally meet. Meet them halfway and talk about it in advance.

[Stavi]

I love.

[Robert Smigel]

Boom.

[Stavi]

Done and done. You're good at it. What are you talking about? You're good at advice. You just nailed it.

[Robert Smigel]

I once played a rabbi at a comedy club.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Cotton candy beard.

[Stavi]

Cotton candy beard making a comeback. Good bit. Good bit.

[Robert Smigel]

Actually have played, like, rabbis in, like, four different movies and TV shows.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

It's my thing now.

[Stavi]

You're great.

[Robert Smigel]

I actually have grown out this beard because I'm about to play a rabbi.

[Stavi]

Oh, really?

[Robert Smigel]

And a show that I can't say what show.

[Stavi]

That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Were you a. What was your character in Punch Drunk Love? Were you.

[Robert Smigel]

I was a dentist. You're a dentist. That was an inside joke that he made me a dentist.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I got to know him at snl. He was a huge SNL fan.

[Stavi]

Oh, interesting.

[Robert Smigel]

I love.

[Stavi]

I love that movie.

[Robert Smigel]

I love that movie. And that scene was crazy because we shot it once and then he, like. And he was very happy. And then months later, I heard Paul wants to rework the scene where I can't remember the characters. Barry smashes through the glass.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

When he wants to restage it. And so that means we're gonna have to restage that scene. So we do the exact same scene again where Adam you know, makes this confession to me and he starts crying. But he added this one element where Adam starts making this funny noise when he cries.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

He's like, just saying, you know, I. Sometimes I feel like I can't. Whatever he said. And then he's good.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And we laughed. We could not get through a tape.

[Stavi]

It's incredible. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

And he was so fucking mad at us. Yeah. Because it was like, we have time. It's the end of the day. I think we can get the scene. I think we can get this. It's one shot. They know their lines. We're gonna get the. Get this. And then we're just anticipating the moment

[Stavi]

where he's gonna go that high pitched.

[Robert Smigel]

And one of us would laugh and we were reduced to like 5 year olds. We would giggle and we'd be like, that was your fault. You did it. Meanwhile, there's this serious Paul Thomas Anderson crew.

[Stavi]

Just like, don't give a. At all.

[Robert Smigel]

No, no. Believe these children.

[Stavi]

They're mad.

[Robert Smigel]

And then somebody told me he ended up using take three.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

I don't know. And I asked him about it years later. He's like, no way. It was like 14.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. I. I love. Yeah, you're great in that. Love that movie.

[Robert Smigel]

But usually nowadays it's Rabbi.

[Stavi]

Anyway, we're. We're plugging Punch Drunk. Love.

[Robert Smigel]

Love. Catch it. I believe it's on Amazon for $4.95, but it's worth it. It's not one of his most highly regarded movies, but it has a cult following.

[Stavi]

I love it. If you're a. If you're. But truly, if you're a comedy fan of like, Sandler, your generation, it was the most. I love that movie because it takes the Sandler character from Billy Madison, the early Sandler character, and it makes. It's like, how could this person be real?

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

And P.T. anderson, he was like, I love that. Because he's clearly such a fan of Adam Sandler.

[Robert Smigel]

Right.

[Stavi]

That he put all his. One of the greats, one of the great filmmakers, decided, I'm gonna solve this puzzle of how can we make Happy Gilmore a real guy in a drama?

[Robert Smigel]

Find the source and find it feels real.

[Stavi]

Oh, it's incredible. And he's such a. And Sandler's. Those early characters are so important to me. And so. But they're so. They're cartoonish in many ways. And to find, like, real humanity.

[Robert Smigel]

I think that's still his best performance.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah. Probably.

[Robert Smigel]

He's amazing.

[Stavi]

And that's so good. And that's not taking anything away from fucking uncut gems.

[Robert Smigel]

I know. Or. But number of movies.

[Stavi]

But it's also because it's his thing.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

In such a different context where you never get to see that you never get to see someone. And not only that, they. A genius puts you in a position to do your thing in a completely different way. It's such. And you're right. It's such a. It's a. I think it is the greatest performance because it's a very hard thing to do. To do it that well.

[Robert Smigel]

To be that guy. And it's just for the odd. You feel so heart. You feel for this kid so much. So many times throughout the movie your heart breaks for him.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh my God. In a way that's like not remotely manipulative. Formulaic. No. But it was not well received by Adam's fans back then.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

They were like, we just saw the water boy and his fans. And Paul's fans didn't receive it well at first either because they were like what the Adam Sandler doing?

[Stavi]

And totally.

[Robert Smigel]

Because Adam didn't have the respect he has.

[Stavi]

But see it now you see what a genius both of those guys are.

[Robert Smigel]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

We're fast forward and it's an incredible piece of art.

[Robert Smigel]

Yes.

[Stavi]

And the fact that they could see that in the context of. Let's keep doing. Because Waterboy was a huge hit.

[Robert Smigel]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavi]

What was. I don't remember what Paul Thomas Hansen did before that. What was right before that. Come on. That was. Yeah. So it's like. I get why it wouldn't be well received. And still that makes it even more impressive to me. But we literally. I joked, but we did just spend

[Robert Smigel]

15 minutes talking about how at the

[Stavi]

movies it's been the. It started as a basketball podcast and it ended as a shitty movie podcast.

[Robert Smigel]

Shitty podcast, not shitty movies.

[Stavi]

You're right. You're right, you're right, you're right. Right. But this was incredible. Truly, Robert. This. I mean, seriously, dream come true. I've been a fan. I've told. I told you before. Since I was a child. And I feel sorry that I have to say that to you because of how I look now. I was once a. A blushing boy. Oh, I was once. I was watching. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Smigel]

No, I'm very touched by everything you say. Thank you. You know, I didn't know what to expect. I mean, I. You know, I. I mean I come from a totally different generation, but I really had a great time and this is an incredible show for me to Bulban, you see, because it's not good after all.

[Stavi]

Oh, try.

[Robert Smigel]

Okay. There we go.

[Stavi]

That's beautiful. We're ending on that. We'll cut there. Robert, thank you so much. You're the man. Watch the podcast, folks.

[Robert Smigel]

Or listen to it.

[Stavi]

Listen.

[Robert Smigel]

If you can't handle my face, listen to the podcast.

[Stavi]

Yeah, listen. I'm this again. You're the man. This was so cool. Come back anytime. I'd love to do the pod whenever. You'll have me listen. Go listen to the podcast. Come. I don't think we have anything else to plug. I think we're actually done. Special coming soon, folks. More. More about that very soon. And we'll talk to you next time. Bye.

[Robert Smigel]

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[Stavi]

Hey, listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.