#185 - Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin

Summary

Stavvy’s World #185 – Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin
June 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, comedian Stavros Halkias welcomes back two of his favorite guests, comedians Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin, to break in the new podcast studio. The trio dives into their trademark blend of playful roasting, discussions of cultural identity, nostalgia-fueled stories, and sharp, unfiltered advice to listeners. Through humorous conversations about everything from family origins and “auntie” culture to foot fetishes, airport chaos, and navigating adult friendships, the episode maintains its signature upbeat, chaotic, and hilarious tone. The show also answers listener voicemails on DNA drama, vehicle dilemmas, gross hookup bathrooms, and political friction at work—always with a blend of insight, empathy, and comedy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Vibes: Studio, Snacks & “Uncle/Auntie” Culture

• New Studio Banter: The crew revisits the transition to the new studio, with Sydnee and Marie joking about diversity quotas, needing to “season” the space, and the importance of making a studio feel lived in.
  • “We had to come in and season this up. The walls were just too white.” (Sydney, 03:49)
• Suburban Comforts: Stav revels in “uncle” culture—big recliner couches, arcade dreams, Costco snacks—moving from cool comic to cozy homebody.
• Snacking Rituals: Jokes abound about Costco quests and the difference between “corporate office” snacks and true hangout snacks.

2. Cultural Identity & Respectful Roasting

• History & Struggle Olympics: Friendly debate over which ethnic groups are “the coolest,” centering on Greeks, Irish, and the generationally distant struggles they’ve experienced.
  • “The Irish do tend to be the coolest ones…Anyone who has strife ends up being cooler.” (Stav, 01:42)
• Reclaiming ‘Indigenous’: Marie and Sydnee tease Stav about Greeks calling themselves indigenous and the co-opting of terminology.
• “Auntie” and “Uncle” Phases: Everyone reflects on “auntie” artifacts like beaded curtains and how ordinary accouterments—be it furniture or celebratory snacking—mark generational transitions.

3. Life Updates & Resilience

• Comebacks & Setbacks: Stav candidly shares how life took a downturn after the last appearance with Sydnee and Marie—his health issues, a bum back, skipping holidays for a retreat, and the ups and downs of self-care.
  • "You caught me right before my life went down the tubes.” (Stav, 08:14)
• Personal Growth: The group commiserates with humorous resignation about how quickly life can swing from great to garbage—while reinforcing the importance of bouncing back.

4. Microdosing, Party Culture, & Drug Humor

• Recreational Escapades: Marie shares she microdosed a mushroom gummy for the pod. Sydnee admits she gets FOMO around Marie’s calm approach to drugs and drinking.
• Pop Culture Tangents: The crew imagines how Street Fighter characters might rate as lovers, leading to raucous jokes about gaming, sex, and cartoon crushes.

5. Streaming Service Woes & Career Highlights

• Platform Frustrations: The panel laments the proliferation of streaming platforms (Hulu, Netflix, Amazon, Tubi) and the accompanying expenses.
  • “Truly, I…to be is the people’s streaming service.” (Stav, 14:01)
• Career Milestones: Marie shares her new show on Tubi, leading to celebration and a mini roast of industry delays.
• Global Meltdown Fears: Conversation turns to pandemic worries, lockdown fatigue, and what they’d do if the world shut down again—mostly, no one would comply.

6. Cooking, Self-Care, and Foot Fetishes

• Quarantine Activities: Sydnee recalls her pandemic-era cooking show and stops just short of reevaluating hobbies if things locked down again.
• Food, Veggies & Vocabulary Fails: Lighthearted quiz on Stav’s knowledge of veggies erupts into a “lagoon vs. legume” pronunciation debate.
• Feet Envy & Close Friends: Sydnee expresses foot envy toward Marie, sparking jokes about foot care, Instagram “close friends,” and the hazards of oversharing personal content.

7. Childhood Celebrity Crushes & Formative Influences

• Obscure Heartthrobs: Funny reminiscences about youthful celebrity crushes (Loon, Lil Zane, Jamie Foxx era) and being underwhelmed by fleeting fame.
• Spice Girls & Jessica Rabbit: Stav opens up about early crushes on “Ginger Spice” and Jessica Rabbit—tracing how sexual ideation is shaped.
• Negotiating Adult Attraction: The panel muses on lowering (or recalibrating) dating expectations with age—whether it’s Jessica Rabbit–inspired types or foot-specific fetishes.

8. Flights, Airports & Petty Customer Service

• Travel Nightmares: Stories of canceled flights, being bumped to first class with a catch, and airport anxiety.
  • “The pilot comes out and he’s like, there’s no food for first class. Are y’all cool with us still taking off?” (Marie, 48:45)
• Perks & Status: Jokes about medallions, lounge life, and the relativity of airline “status” compared to private jets.

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Listener Advice Segments

1. 23andMe DNA Drama

[59:11 – 68:23]

• Caller discovers that her biological grandmother may have had a secret second family. Should she notify her bio mom about the possible real father/grandpa?
• Panel Consensus:
  • Respect privacy and emotional boundaries; no obligation to reveal cold DNA truths, especially to those you’re not close to.
  • “This, you bit off…this is not your responsibility at all.” (Stav, 68:18)
  • “Save it ‘til Thanksgiving…when your mother, your biological mom have a big fight, throw it in her face.” (Marie, 68:43)
  • Lessons in self-discovery vs. unnecessary family drama; focus on the family you build, not just DNA.

2. Truck Loan Regret

[74:01 – 87:53]

• Caller offers a sentimental truck to a hard-driving friend, but now has regrets.
• Advice:
  • Open communication is key—explain hesitation and discuss boundaries honestly.
  • Possible white lies: project needed to fix up the truck, use the “grandpa wouldn’t want you driving it” excuse, or stage a “fake repair.”
  • “Just lie to your friend—say, ‘My grandfather don’t want you driving his car.’” (Marie, 86:08)
  • Ultimately, the group says direct honesty is mature, but jokes are fair game.

3. Gross Hookup Bathroom

[94:23 – 102:55]

• Caller wonders if she’s an “asshole” for telling a hinge date his bathroom needs cleaning if he wants a second hookup.
• Panel Response:
  • Not an asshole. Hygiene should be normalized; better he unmatched you than ignored the issue.
  • “If there’s a ring around the tub, you’re not going to experience the Nuva ring inside of me right now.” (Stav, 95:05)
  • Hygiene icks can be a total dealbreaker, and women’s “ick” response is rapid and final.

4. Tattoo Shop: Colleagues Are Trump Supporters

[102:57 – 116:18]

• Tattoo artist feels alienated by colleagues’ open Trump fandom. Should he speak up, try to change the culture, or just leave?
• Advice:
  • If possible, be vocal about shop culture and use the opportunity to create the environment you believe in or find a new, more fitting shop.
  • “If right now you think this administration’s doing a good job, you’re fucking brain dead crazy.” (Stav, 105:01)
  • Don’t bother converting diehards; focus on building the kind of space you believe in.
  • “America is in its flop era.” (Marie, 110:19)
  • Take pride in counterculture roots; artists should value values over maximizing popularity.

5. Weight Loss Meds & Boob Maintenance

[116:29 – 117:24]

• Listener calls in to reassure a fellow “deathbound baddie” that losing weight didn’t shrink her 36G chest—giving hope to those scared to try meds.
• Panel jokes about the need for “proof,” and that boobs may stick around even as butts sometimes don’t.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Marie: “The blacks twerking.” (01:03)
• Stav: “I’ve learned…I don’t expect you to be on time or to prepare. That’s not racist. That’s you personally.” (03:05)
• Sydney: “First of all, that’s my first apartment…beaded curtain. That is culture.” (06:34)
• Marie: “That is beaded curtain. Absolutely. That’s Auntie. That’s Auntie.” (06:47)
• Stav: “You want me to move the block you live on?” (83:58)
• Marie: “America is in its flop era.” (110:19)
• Stav: “I think Jessica Rabbit…that just kind of cemented it.” (31:28)
• Stav: “You caught me when I was at my most healthiest. Now I’ve been, like, depressed and eating vegetables…I mean, not really any veggies.” (18:49)
• Marie: “People who are always late are optimistic…It’s never taken me five minutes to do my makeup, but today is the day.” (84:38)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Welcome/The Need for “Hot Black Girls” in Greek Folk Dance: 00:46–01:16
• Studio/Uncle-Auntie Culture & Furniture Talk: 03:02–05:03
• Personal Update – Life Going Well, Then Falling Apart: 08:12–09:08
• Drug & Street Fighter Tangent: 10:44–12:52
• Streaming Service/Tubi Announcement: 13:53–15:02
• Pandemic Lockdown Talk: 16:01–18:06
• Cooking Shows, Vegetables, Lagoon/Legume Bit: 18:07–24:00
• Celebrity Crushes, Spice Girls: 25:43–31:14
• Travel Chaos & Airline Woes: 46:10–55:03
• Listener: DNA/23andMe Family Mess: 59:11–68:23
• Listener: Lending a Sentimental Truck Dilemma: 74:01–87:53
• Listener: Gross Hook-Up Bathroom Etiquette: 94:23–102:55
• Listener: Counterculture vs. Trump in Tattoo Shop: 102:57–116:18
• Listener: Weight Loss Drugs & Boobs: 116:29-117:24

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Conclusion & Plugs

• Marie: Tubi series “Why Are You Single?” coming soon.
• Sydnee: Bringing “My Black Barbie Story” solo show to Edinburgh Fringe (Scotland).
• Stav: Encourages everyone to catch their live shows and support Tubi/YouTube indie projects for more accessible art.
• The trio closes by championing access, clean bathrooms, and—critically—big titties for all.

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Final Vibe:
Spirited, affectionate roasting, honesty in advice, and an ongoing celebration of community, growth, and the power of being true to yourself—even if that means admitting you’re late, your snacks are basic, your feet aren’t perfect, or you made a mistake by offering your friend a truck. If you need some laughs, real talk, and “remixed auntie” energy, this is a classic Stavvy’s World that hits all the right notes.

Transcript

[Sydney]

Hi, besties. It's Tinks. If you need a little inspo, a little tough love, or just someone to tell you that everything is going to be okay, come hang out with me on my podcast. It's me, Tanks. We talk dating, confidence, friendships, healing, leveling up, and all the things we're working on together. I share my frameworks, your questions, and yes, plenty of chaotic stories. New episodes drop every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So whether you're on your hot girl walk, commuting, or hiding from your ex on Instagram, I've got you. Listen to It's Me, Tanks. Wherever you get your podcasts, Carter's has your family covered for every summer. First for steps, first swim lesson, or first sleepover.

[Stav]

Our clothes help kids and parents shine,

[Sydney]

thanks to comfy design and easy dressing details. Visit Carters.com to shop the latest styles or find a Carter's store near you.

[Stav]

Welcome, everybody, to Stop is World. 904-800. Stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. That's awesome. I love what you guys are doing there. This is how we get. This is how we get interest in Greek folk dance. Back up. We gotta get hot black girls dancing to it.

[Marie]

Got to get blacks.

[Sydney]

The blacks twerking.

[Stav]

That is honestly a dynamite strategy, culturally speaking. That is how you get something successful and then everybody else steals it, you

[Marie]

know, and then it's no longer cool.

[Stav]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sydney]

Then your people will just be doing an offbeat in an ugly white sneaker rundown, drinking a matcha.

[Stav]

Lord, I've never had a matcha in my life. All right, stop lumping me in with every type of white person. I'm a very specific type. Specific type of white Greek people are not. We're not the. Look, we're white, obviously, but we got a little. We're a little strange in comparison.

[Sydney]

Y' all had a little struggle to a little bit.

[Stav]

I would say not like the Irish, but no, the. The Irish probably are. In terms of ranking white people probably. The Irish do tend to be the coolest ones. They went just because of. Anytime. Anybody who's over, who has strife, I think ends up being cooler and has to create art to get through it and becomes more. A more empathetic group. And so the Irish, the fact that the British were fucking them up for so long, that's. I give them that Greeks, the Ottoman Empire took over us, but that was 1300-1821. Nobody I knew was around during that shit. You know what I mean? Like,

[Marie]

y' all need to let that go.

[Stav]

Y' all still talking about that you're a Turkish supremacist. You're taking the side of my oppressor.

[Marie]

Wow. Too much time has passed.

[Sydney]

Ain't nobody want to hear nothing about that.

[Stav]

Wow. We were. We were the indigenous population and the Turks came over.

[Sydney]

Indigenous? Is that what you're calling them now? Even the indigenous can't have a word.

[Marie]

I don't know a single Turk.

[Sydney]

I know Turks and Caicos.

[Marie]

I know two part Caicos.

[Stav]

We have, as you've noticed, Sidney and Marie are back. You know, we got the new studio. We're trying it out. We wanted some of our favorites here to help open it up.

[Marie]

So you want us to work?

[Stav]

Come on. I don't expect you to be on time or to prepare. I've learned. And that's not racist. That's how you are. That is you personally. High five, babe.

[Marie]

Oh, I was for style when you know, you know,

[Sydney]

you were like, hey, we just working out some kink. Can y' all black bitches come on over through?

[Stav]

Come on.

[Sydney]

I know you in the area.

[Stav]

Stop.

[Marie]

Let us take the service entrance.

[Stav]

Girls, please. The freight elevator.

[Sydney]

You know, my doorman can't see you.

[Marie]

Weird.

[Sydney]

It's crazy. You know what? I'm glad that you've upgraded. This is an upgrade because we didn't want to come to the Bronx.

[Stav]

You were done Queens. Thank you very much.

[Sydney]

You changed.

[Stav]

You changed.

[Sydney]

And you know, we had to come in and season this up.

[Stav]

Absolutely.

[Sydney]

Because the walls were just too white.

[Stav]

Listen, we're getting there.

[Marie]

We're going to kicking shit over.

[Sydney]

We're going to make it lived in.

[Stav]

We're going to paint them. We're going to. We're going to. We're going to do the mural all the way through.

[Tattoo Artist Caller]

We.

[Stav]

We just. We're going to make that front like a fun lounge zone. We just bought a sick couch to go with our hundred inch tv. It's not L shaped. It's one of those. It's just like a. Every seat reclines. It's a sofa where all three of them go all the way. The back. Zero G

[Sydney]

culture.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

A bunch of recliners that go straight 100.

[Stav]

That I will. That I will admit. That is suburban white type of like dad.

[Sydney]

Dad culture.

[Stav]

And that's what. And I. I would argue. I would like to say it's dad. It's also uncle. Uncle.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Marie]

I'm.

[Stav]

Because I'm very much in the. In the UN phase of my life now. I am an uncle. Officially.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

My brother has a cute little, you know, little fat 18 month old running around right now. So I'm very unked up. I want to get up. I want to get, you know, big ass couches, big tv. Watch a bunch of dumb action movies in here.

[Marie]

Yes.

[Stav]

That's where I'm at in my life. I'm the. I'm going to be the. I've. I'm going to be this kid's fun uncle. I want to get like a couple arcade machines in this.

[Marie]

Say we need some machines.

[Stav]

What are you thinking? I'm thinking I was before the machines.

[Sydney]

What about the snacks? Dude, I can't believe you came here. No snacks.

[Stav]

I apologize, actually, because that is a great. I actually am embarrassed to have a. Believe me, the next time you come here, the snacks are going to knock your socks off. Okay, all right.

[Sydney]

I'm weak.

[Marie]

What snacks you going to have here? It's going to be pop chips.

[Stav]

No, I'm not. This isn't a corporate office. That's the beauty of it. We have all the Trapp trappings of one of Those like early2010s.com. Like you know, I used to work for. I had a writing job at one of those. But I'm. I'm the fucking boss. So it's like we're gonna have probably. We'll probably have one of those big cheese balls. We'll always have one of those big things of cheese balls. Always. We'll have.

[Sydney]

You're gonna go to Costco for all this?

[Stav]

We're going to Costco, babe. Absolutely. We were just. We were just. Me and Elda's just actually my shirt. The New York Sumo Club. We went to Industry City to buy our big ass recliner and they had like a fucking little sumo match in there and there's a Costco right there. So I foresee another trip to Industry City. Stock up on snacks.

[Sydney]

Let me come through with y' all again. I would love a couple, you know, give to. For our studio that we got going on.

[Stav]

Yeah, I would like.

[Marie]

Yeah, that's not stocking our studio. I don't work there. I pass through there. Barely. I do one or two episodes a week.

[Stav]

Yes.

[Sydney]

When I say studio, I meant my place.

[Marie]

I meant my.

[Stav]

Oh, you mean your studio apartment? Yeah. You mean.

[Sydney]

That's too bad.

[Stav]

You mean that when you pull the curtain to separate you from Dwayne's room, that's what you call your studio?

[Sydney]

First of all, that's my first apartment.

[Stav]

The one we're at right now.

[Sydney]

Beaded curtain. That is culture.

[Marie]

Okay?

[Sydney]

Yeah. How dare you? That Is also un culture.

[Stav]

That is. That is a beaded curtain. Absolutely. That's auntie. That's Auntie. And that is the phase of life we're in, whether you like it or not. But, you know, and that is also another reason I wanted you guys here, because I think I might have been the first episode in your new studio.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

And it's. There was literally, like, Polish sawing and hammering outside while we were recording.

[Sydney]

I knew he was gonna bring this up. Not gonna be something that just happened. You're like, we'll forget about it. You wanted to bring us here to drag us about. Unprofessional.

[Stav]

No, I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

[Sydney]

He was over there telling, said, well, maybe you need to move it to the right. No, I literally was literally helping them with the lighting.

[Stav]

I was telling them how to light it. It was hilarious. But I've seen episode. Our episode. Lighting's a little harsh, but we did some bangers. Right?

[Sydney]

Well, the lighting was harsh for you.

[Stav]

What do you want from me? What the do you want from me? You want me to say, yeah, you got a white balance for certain skin tones. Hey, baby, we need a different. I needed a different gel on my shit. We should have made me orange or a little more tan or some shit.

[Marie]

Oprah Winfrey Studio. That made Oprah look good and all the guests look dry.

[Stav]

That is true.

[Sydney]

We were glowing. Glowing from the bottom. Always up. You know?

[Stav]

That is true. Next time I do the pot, I'm going to come with just straight from Grease. Fresh tan. I think that'll help a lot. It was winter. I was a little pasty. I wasn't outside very much.

[Sydney]

Your hair was long. That's all that mattered.

[Stav]

My hair was long. That's true.

[Marie]

Gotten back from Arizona, I think.

[Stav]

Think, oh, that's right. You caught me on my. Oh, man. You caught me right before my life went in the down the tubes.

[Marie]

I know.

[Sydney]

You told us about this. How do you feel?

[Stav]

I'm. I'm pretty bad right now, to be honest with you. Cuz when I saw you guys, I just. I was like, damn, I'm going to completely change my life. I'm skipping the holidays and I'm doing a health retreat.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

And I come back from that. And maybe like, right after I do your pod, I my back up. And so how you back up?

[Marie]

Stop. You was trying to pick up a quarter.

[Stav]

Since when am I cheap?

[Marie]

I was about to make a joke

[Sydney]

and I said, you know what?

[Marie]

You hurt your back.

[Stav]

How about this Pick up some wings. Let's keep it fat at least. You know what I mean? What, did you. Did you drop your fucking Twix bar? Something like that? I don't appreciate. Yeah, exactly, exactly. I don't appreciate being called cheap. Call me fat, that's fine, but. Okay, no, I was. I was fucking. I was lifting weights and I just fucked it up.

[Sydney]

Oh, is that. Is that what you're telling me?

[Stav]

That first of all, I told you I fucking broke my arm on a scooter. Why? I told you the truth about that.

[Marie]

I was a skateboard.

[Stav]

No, I was lying. You.

[Sydney]

We can't keep up. And you know what's wild? Stabby, he was on the pod and towards the end, he was kind of like, gloating about all the good things that was happening.

[Stav]

I wasn't gloating.

[Marie]

I don't know.

[Eldis]

I don't know about.

[Sydney]

Okay, okay, I'm.

[Stav]

Yeah, you idiots. I'm doing movies. What are you doing? I didn't do that. I said, hey, I'm having a good time. You know, my shit's going good.

[Sydney]

Oh, that's what you did When I was on your pod with Dwayne, you were like, you don't know about filming.

[Marie]

You don't know about being on tv.

[Sydney]

You don't know about getting an apartment on your own. That's what you did when I was on your.

[Stav]

Me and Dwayne were double teaming you for a while. That was awesome.

[Marie]

Can I double team in? Tell people that's how you hurt your back?

[Stav]

You were deep being sick.

[Sydney]

Two guys, one girl.

[Stav]

That's the only straight. That's a hilarious threesome. A gay guy, a lesbian, and a straight guy, and no one's having a good time.

[Marie]

No one's having a good time.

[Stav]

Actually.

[Sydney]

It was so fun.

[Stav]

So that was a great pod. No. Yes, I was. I was just remark things were going well and I was kind of like, something bad's gonna happen. And it did.

[Marie]

That's usually how these things go.

[Stav]

Yeah, but you're feeling good.

[Marie]

Something bad is gonna happen.

[Stav]

It's all right. We're rebuilding. We're okay. We're doing all right. What's up? What's up with you gals? I haven't seen you in a while. I like Maria. Love the denim on denim. You both look great today.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

What do you got going on? Just this. Just your everyday look.

[Marie]

Well, I did take a microdose of a mushroom gummy.

[Stav]

Ooh, respect.

[Marie]

Sound like a good day to do that?

[Stav]

It's a beautiful day. It's like 80 degrees out this motherfucker.

[Marie]

80 degrees outside.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sydney]

You know, Marie is the only person that I kind of get FOMO from, like drugs and alcohol. I won't lie.

[Stav]

Right.

[Sydney]

You always make it, like, so chill. And it's never like you're.

[Marie]

Because I'm not doing crack yet. I'm not Lamar Odom with it.

[Stav]

I don't know. Some of those weekends in Nevada sounded pretty cool to me. Doing a bunch of crack and running up an 800, you know, like a ten thousand dollar whatever tab at a. At a high end cat house.

[Marie]

Wasn't he on, like Viagra or something? And they were like, you're only supposed to take one and he took 12.

[Sydney]

He got it from the bodega, though. He didn't even get like the real Cialis. Like, what'd you get from a pharmacist?

[Stav]

What's that called?

[Marie]

The stuff you get at the gas station.

[Stav]

There are a couple different variants. There's, I believe Rhino is one of them. There's which one you use? Street Overlord, not street Stree. And it's two characters from I believe Street Fighter having sex with each other. That's what's on there.

[Marie]

Okay. There's Chung Li and.

[Stav]

Yeah, and I think it was green. No, no, no. She wasn't getting shit rocked by Blanca. Although I bet if a certain style of lovemaking, if that's your thing, I bet you Blanca would put you through the mattress, no problem. Let's rank Street Fighter characters on who fucks the best.

[Sydney]

The one who all the.

[Stav]

The long arms.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Can stretch his dick out is the best.

[Marie]

D is the best.

[Sydney]

I would take.

[Marie]

I would take him.

[Stav]

But you're right, he stretch an Indian. An Indian. Sexy Indian Lady Delim. That would be nice.

[Sydney]

I would love that.

[Stav]

Yeah. I would like to get my head crushed by Chun Li. I think that would be cool.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Those big thighs.

[Sydney]

I'll take her toes right in my cooper. She is really.

[Stav]

Now we're talking right on the clip.

[Sydney]

Right on the cl.

[Marie]

You know, when you said it, I didn't get it, but now I.

[Stav]

Yes, absolutely. Her finisher would be. It's. It's kind of a clit tickler, if you think about it.

[Marie]

Her finisher would be Sid. Finisher.

[Sydney]

Yeah. You finish her.

[Stav]

I'm finished. I'm standing in the corner like this. Round three.

[Marie]

I'm not going. My car here.

[Stav]

I gotta go. I'm tired. Round two. No, thanks. I need to take a nap. Round three.

[Marie]

I'm already sleeping.

[Stav]

Yeah, I've already. The Uber eats is almost here. Okay, I'll eat your pussy until the wings are here. Whoa.

[Marie]

Okay.

[Stav]

Keep going round. We can keep going, but then I'm done. Then I'm throwing on 30 Rock and smoking a joint.

[Sydney]

30 Rock is your nightcap.

[Stav]

Nothing wrong. Yeah, it actually is Funny show.

[Marie]

Is that on Hulu or Netflix?

[Stav]

It is now on Amazon, actually. They move it around a lot.

[Marie]

It's too many streams.

[Stav]

I know, I know, dude, it's crazy.

[Marie]

I don't want to check HBO and Disney and Hulu.

[Stav]

I'm with you.

[Sydney]

And pay for all of it.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

They want us to pay for all of it, then we can't pay for all.

[Stav]

That's why Truly, I. I made a joke in our tech start, but I do believe to be is the people streaming service. I love it is.

[Sydney]

I love speaking of things on the horizon for free.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

And that's why it's for the people. The people ain't got no money.

[Stav]

No.

[Sydney]

And Marie's show is going to be on there.

[Marie]

I thought you were dragging me.

[Stav]

No, no, no, no. I literally was saying. I was literally saying tubi's awesome. But is that. Is that real?

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Oh, fuck yeah. That rules. Dude.

[Marie]

Three episodes?

[Stav]

Hell yeah.

[Marie]

Of my show.

[Sydney]

You just assumed it because she's black.

[Stav]

No, I would have said Zeus. Network. Oh. If I was being racist, I would have said Zeus.

[Marie]

Isn't Zeus your guy?

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, I know. How about. Oh, a little cultural appropriation. The other way. Nice change. Nice change of pace.

[Marie]

Well, black people. Zeus is spelled with a dollar sign in it. Goodness.

[Sydney]

Zeus are extra S's.

[Stav]

I love that. Yeah. That's awesome. So why. What? Why are you single?

[Marie]

Why are you single? Three episodes. That's what they brought.

[Stav]

Dude. That rules. That's awesome. Yeah.

[Marie]

Thank you. I wish I could fast forward through the whole process. And yeah, I was talking to my homegirl and she was like, you only get one first time to do it the first time.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

So savor it.

[Stav]

That's perfect. That show's awesome. You're great at it. And I honestly, I think I was shocked it took this long to get you on tv. Because that's a great idea.

[Eldis]

Deal.

[Marie]

I'm also shocked.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

I can't believe it took this long.

[Sydney]

They're saving the best for last, you know what I'm saying? Cuz the whole thing is about to be shut down, so you might as well put what's about to be shut down. I mean, Zeus no

[Marie]

talking to Natalie Nun. No.

[Sydney]

But I do what I Want? No, I think like, you know, the

[Stav]

government, the world going bad.

[Sydney]

Yeah. It's just like they're talking about another. What is it? A kuna matata virus. Like something the Hunter virus.

[Marie]

Smoked. Yeah. Hunter Tanta.

[Stav]

Yeah, but that's all shit. I think that's all cruise ship stuff.

[Marie]

They let them off the ship.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Marie]

They walk amongst us now.

[Sydney]

They went on a plane right after.

[Stav]

That sucks. Yeah.

[Sydney]

And then they went to grandma's, you know, birthday.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sydney]

It's up.

[Stav]

It was like that one, remember, like when Covid was starting and there was like one lady who like, got on a flight, went skiing, went to like a soccer game. Like this was like doing everything. Worked at a soup kitchen. You know what I mean? Like, did everything. It was hilarious.

[Marie]

Yeah, I. I feel like I've watched enough of those movies. Like 28 Days Later.

[Stav]

Sure.

[Marie]

You know, it's always one person that's like, I haven't been bit. And then they got bit.

[Stav]

The person who's always hiding. Yeah, of course.

[Marie]

It's the lady in the soup kitchen.

[Stav]

Well, you know, I think we'll be all right. I think we'll survive. Hantavirus. I don't even know what the fuck it is. I just can't even think about it. Would you. What would you do if you had to lock down again?

[Sydney]

Oh, we're not. I'm not locking down. I locked down before to Atlanta.

[Marie]

I moved to a Red. A red? Where? Nobody cares.

[Stav]

Atlanta Blue. What are you talking about in Atlanta? It's southern.

[Marie]

It's the south. I go to.

[Stav]

Florida's where you need to t. Oh, Texas.

[Marie]

Florida. No, the Gators got rights in. Okay, The Gators got.

[Stav]

I don't know.

[Sydney]

Listen, I'm saying right here, I'm not. I'm just not do. I'm not listening to any of the rules. I'm doing whatever the I want because I did what I was supposed to do last time and I ended up getting it anyway. So it's like I might as well just at least.

[Stav]

What if this one make out?

[Sydney]

Come outside.

[Marie]

If it kills me, then what am

[Sydney]

I supposed to do?

[Marie]

Stack, Come back here to the pod?

[Stav]

Yeah. Do it as a ghost. I'm just saying what if it's more. I just think this one they're saying is more lethal. But it's not going to happen. I think it's not going to happen. It's not a. And I'm saying that with literally no knowledge whatsoever. And it's more of a hope because, yes, I also Would blow my brains out if I had to lock down again.

[Marie]

If we got to lock down again. First of all, the kids definitely never going to learn how to read.

[Sydney]

And the way that they can't read now.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

They cannot read now. They. Well, they'll never learn.

[Stav]

You're so right. So. Yeah.

[Marie]

Yeah, I guess I gotta.

[Sydney]

I'm not. The thing is, is that I tried to do the hobby thing. I tried to, you know, make others happy, spread positivity.

[Stav]

How were you doing that?

[Sydney]

Oh, with my cooking show.

[Stav]

Oh, I love the cooking show.

[Sydney]

Yes.

[Marie]

Was that ever again?

[Stav]

I was on it. Of course. Yeah, she was.

[Marie]

Do you remember what Sydney made when you were on Sid Can Cook?

[Sydney]

I was. I was supposed to make something that was, like, from Vietnamese. What's the rolls?

[Stav]

Spring rolls.

[Sydney]

Spring rolls or something like that.

[Marie]

Okay, so you had Stav on for that?

[Sydney]

Yeah, I had.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

Why?

[Stav]

Can I have them on a light appetizer?

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Yeah. What about some kebabs? An olive, like, starter, dishonored?

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Marie]

Tzatziki.

[Sydney]

I'm like, come on, stop. We gonna make some tzatziki. Let me. Tell me how to make that white sauce.

[Stav]

Yeah, it's good. I'll make you. I'll. I'll. I honestly do have a nice tzatziki method.

[Sydney]

I'm sure now that you eat vegetables

[Stav]

and stuff, you drink water.

[Sydney]

I'm sure you're.

[Stav]

Although I'm all fat, you caught me when I was at my most healthiest. I've been, like, depressed and, like, eating, like, vegetables. I've been eating. Okay, but no vet. Not really any veggies.

[Marie]

Stav, name three vegetables.

[Stav]

Now I can name three of them. It doesn't mean I ate them.

[Marie]

Yeah, but you name three.

[Stav]

Zucchini, broccoli, spinach. Easy.

[Marie]

Is a spinach a vegetable? Yeah, it's a legume.

[Stav]

No, it's definitely not a legume, you dumbass.

[Marie]

I was lagoon, baby. I was like, what's a lagoon?

[Stav]

I was like, what's a lagoon? I was like, is that Haitian wants to do backstrokes and beans and, like, legumes are beans and.

[Sydney]

Oh, I thought a lagoon was, like, somewhere that Little Mermaid was hanging out.

[Marie]

That's a lagoon with an N. We're saying lagoon.

[Stav]

Lagoon.

[Sydney]

Oh, well, y' all wasn't saying it right.

[Stav]

That's right. It was us. You're right.

[Sydney]

That's what I heard. It was definitely us.

[Stav]

Eldest, what's the exact definition of lagoon? Because it's a specific body of water I loved. This is a great teaching moment for all of us.

[Eldis]

Lagoon or Lagoon?

[Stav]

Lagoon, dumbass.

[Sydney]

See, he couldn't hear either at y'.

[Stav]

All.

[Sydney]

Y' all not pronunciating, right?

[Marie]

It's too much square footage in here. It is.

[Sydney]

Remember when we were in that box?

[Stav]

That motherfuckers aren't happy with anything. I bring you a huge studio Manhattan. I still have to hear it.

[Marie]

Ain't no AC in here.

[Stav]

We're working on the ac. We're getting the kinks out.

[Sydney]

He said we're getting the kinks out. Bring the blacks.

[Marie]

You getting the kinks out?

[Sydney]

The back of the neck.

[Stav]

That's where Elvis will comb it out. Don't worry about it. Full service.

[Sydney]

You don't know what a comb is.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I do.

[Sydney]

He's using his fingers.

[Eldis]

I do that on my hair all the time. Yeah, I need a pic for my hair

[Sydney]

pick Is not for you.

[Stav]

Tell us what lagoon is. Who told you to editorialize right now?

[Marie]

It's my one chance.

[Sydney]

He said it's my time to shine.

[Stav]

Yeah. Elder said a pick and then looked at you like this, hoping it would fly. Nah. Caught again. You know when everyone on your team thinks someone else handled it? The call, the text, the follow up. Meanwhile, the customer's just sitting there like, hello. That's how you quietly lose business. So yeah, at a certain point, it's like, let's fucking Quo. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q U O. The business communication system built so you never miss a call. With Quo, your entire team can handle calls and texts from one shared number. So no more missed messages or dropped conversations. Everyone sees the full thread, replies are faster, and customers actually feel taken care of. It works wherever you are, right? From your phone or computer. Keep your existing number, add teammates in minutes, sync your CRM, and let the call routing handle itself as you scale. Money is on the line. Always say hello with quo. Try quo for free. Plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.comstavi that's quo.comstavi. if you're anything like me and my pal Eldest, you're chronically online. You're scrolling. You can't get that nose out of the phone. Just what's the next short form content I'm gonna consume. Well, if you're chronically online, like most of us are these days, your wireless network should be too. Look at those videos no matter where you are. Cuz with Visible, you get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot, all powered by Verizon's 5G network. The perks of big wireless for half the cost. Visible isn't just a wireless plan. It's unlimited wireless, designed to keep you connected. Never miss a text. Never miss a nice little, you know, picture you might get from somebody, you know. Visible won't let you down. Visible won't drop a nude. I'll tell you that much. You're getting it with their network. I don't know about the other guys. What I want you to do right now, switch it now. Switch [e-mail] plan start at 25 bucks a month. Or get their premium Visible Plus Pro plan and save 10 bucks on your first month with promo code Stav terms apply. See visible.com for plan features and network management details.

[Eldis]

A shallow body of water separated from a larger body of water, typically the ocean, by natural barrier.

[Stav]

Okay, so it's like a really long

[Eldis]

barrier island or coral reef.

[Stav]

Gotcha. Okay, that's.

[Marie]

Now what's the lagoon? Boom.

[Stav]

It's beans.

[Marie]

It's not just beans.

[Sydney]

It's beans.

[Marie]

It's leafy greens.

[Stav]

It's definitely not leafy greens.

[Sydney]

Let's see.

[Stav]

All right, here we go. Here we go. Drum roll.

[Eldis]

Any plant in the faba case family. That produces seeds inside a pod, we'll give us.

[Stav]

Oh, seeds inside a pod. So that's not split minutes. Dude, give us a couple seeds inside a pod. It's literally all beans and green beans and that type of tomatoes.

[Eldis]

And Meadows, black, pinto, kidney, navy lima, green beans, green peas, snow peas, snap peas.

[Sydney]

I hate when a black is wrong.

[Marie]

Let me get the pic so I can stab quickly.

[Stav]

Yeah, I'll just take it out of your hair, please.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

Wrong.

[Sydney]

Wrong. I know. He got one of those from the beauty supply store.

[Stav]

Yeah, I mean, listen, Elvis was honestly. Eldest was my first friend. Eldest was a little immigrant child. He was like 7 years old with a Mace poster on his bedroom wall. Oh, yeah. Eldest got me into rap when we were children for real.

[Eldis]

Big. Big diddy head. Big bad boy head when I was.

[Stav]

Yeah, but he still does. He's still a big supporter to this day. I love it more than ever these days.

[Sydney]

He's like, buying. Buying baby oil on behalf of Diddy. Yeah, I see it. I. I was a. I was a Mace fan, obviously a Diddy, but my real. The. The one that I was saw as a star. His name was Loon. You remember Loon? He was the hottest guy in the bad boy family.

[Marie]

He had one song.

[Stav]

Didn't he rap exactly like somebody else? Didn't he, like.

[Sydney]

No, no, no. He didn't. He did not.

[Marie]

No, no.

[Stav]

He's the guy with a deep voice.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Marie]

He's like, how you want that?

[Sydney]

Tell me how you want. Yes, he did. But he had an amazing lineup. Beautiful waves. He's very interesting tats.

[Stav]

And this is when you were a straight child?

[Sydney]

Yes, I was a straight child. I was in high school. I remember a very, very cold night. I made all of my friends get on the train and go to this random club in midtown. And we waited on a long, long line. It was damn near snowing. We got up in that bed for loon, obviously. And we finally get in, and we get to the front. I was like, I gotta get to the front. When I tell you. He paid me dust the whole time. I was like. And I was the only one that

[Stav]

knew all the songs.

[Sydney]

It was like, three.

[Stav]

A super fan.

[Sydney]

Yeah. And my friends were so mad. They were like, this performance was trash bad. They only did it for me. When I tell you they did not speak to me. All 15 stops to get back to, they were like, if you ever bring us out for something like that, we will not speak to you.

[Stav]

Look what Lun's up to now. He's converted to Islam. He's an imam now.

[Sydney]

That's something I laugh at. I love that he found himself.

[Stav]

Absolutely.

[Sydney]

Okay.

[Stav]

Absolutely.

[Marie]

A black Israelite.

[Stav]

No, I think he's not people on the street. I think he's the opposite of a black Israelite. He's Muslim now. But you're right, he was a piece of ass back in the day.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

Look at him. He wasn't into that, Marie.

[Marie]

Oh, yeah, he's cute.

[Stav]

Marie. What are we talking? What were your. Some of your formative crushes?

[Marie]

Some people that I liked. I like little Zayn, little Z. I

[Sydney]

live as a celebrity.

[Stav]

It's funny. Kids will just latch on to, like, a weird, random member of a thing. You know what I mean? Like.

[Marie]

Yeah, I don't even. He wasn't even a. In a group.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sydney]

Calling me, calling me, say my name.

[Marie]

L. Yeah, I just. I. I love that song. Him in a magazine, and I pulled it out and his. He had abs.

[Stav]

He did. Okay.

[Marie]

I put it on my wall and I kissed his abs.

[Sydney]

He was very short, very short.

[Marie]

I remember my dad coming in one day and being like, what is this? I was like, that's my man. Poppy, where are your abs?

[Sydney]

Asking your dad where his abs is is diabolical.

[Marie]

I'm like, I live the life of a celebrity.

[Sydney]

My cousin Nikki, her crush was Jamie Foxx. When he was a singer.

[Stav]

Wow. Yeah.

[Sydney]

His first album, she had a big ass poster.

[Marie]

Did Jamie Foxx ever have abs?

[Stav]

He probably did.

[Marie]

I know he was wearing a hat to the side.

[Sydney]

Oh, no, wait.

[Stav]

But he was already an actor. Like, I feel like he was a comedian then the Jamie Foxx show. I feel like he didn't put out music till he was already kind of an established. Because I. I love the Jamie Foxx show where they just kind of like. Like they kind of just remixed, like Fresh Prince a little bit. Where they gave him his own Carlton. You know what I mean? Like, it was. It was a great. I love that show.

[Marie]

Yeah, it's on tv. Anytime I'm in a hotel, it's always on.

[Sydney]

He's getting tons of residuals. He's going to be forever.

[Marie]

He's about to have another baby. What? Yeah, he's having another baby by another white woman.

[Stav]

A white woman? Yeah. Kind of tough.

[Sydney]

One of your people. One of your sisters.

[Marie]

Yellow on that. But

[Stav]

the pic took on a mind of its own. Yeah, the pic said, Dr. Uzis.

[Eldis]

I was booing for you guys. Not for us.

[Marie]

No, I thought you were booing for you. You were booing black women.

[Sydney]

Yeah, I thought you were booing for.

[Marie]

For you.

[Sydney]

I thought you were gonna be like, I would never.

[Stav]

You know what I mean, Have a

[Sydney]

baby with a white woman.

[Stav]

Eldest, unfortunately, is married to a white woman. Yes. No,

[Marie]

I hope she don't. I know she don't.

[Stav]

Watch this. Are you kidding me? Can you. I can't imagine your wife watching a second of this podcast.

[Sydney]

Watching this and then getting wet. No way.

[Eldis]

To the first ever episode. When they came out, I was like, what do you think? She's like, it wasn't for me.

[Sydney]

What was.

[Marie]

Who was the first guest?

[Stav]

Sam Morill. It was our first episode. It was a good appetite. Why would she have this?

[Marie]

This is.

[Stav]

Imagine if your husband and his dumbass best friend, the stupid conversations they annoy you with when you're hanging out. If somehow they made a job out of it. How much that would annoy you. Like, every bad tendency a wife wants to beat out of their husband. Eldis is paid very handsomely for. So we, you know, I get it.

[Marie]

Very handsomely.

[Sydney]

Every episode we on, he always saying, how much he hitting you off. Eldest with money.

[Stav]

Not every episode.

[Sydney]

I mean, every episode I've been on, you'd be like, elder, shut up. I pay you.

[Stav]

I'm like, well, it's never that clear, but that is my intent.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

I've never said it like that, but that is what I mean.

[Marie]

When you went to brunch today, did you use the corporate card?

[Stav]

No, we had to actually ended up recording because we got. We got David Tell in here. So we ended up. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Today I actually ate Stav and Ari's leftovers out of the fridge after stop

[Stav]

left for a break. Hey, you ate Ari's leftovers? I had all of my bagel.

[Marie]

Leftover bagel. Damn.

[Sydney]

Are you being frugal this year going on?

[Eldis]

No, I was just hungry and don't feel like stepping.

[Stav]

Yeah, he was more. He was in scavenger mode.

[Sydney]

Honestly, I feel like if we. If I was supposed to relate to anybody, it would be you. I feel like I'm the eldest.

[Stav]

You.

[Sydney]

You were the stobby.

[Marie]

That's not true. You are not my backup. Not my sister. You didn't even know

[Stav]

this. Awesome. Because Marie, by supporting her friend, is putting down Eldis. No, no, you're not a stupid piece of. Like that

[Marie]

in.

[Sydney]

Great work, friend. Great work.

[Stav]

That's awesome. Yeah, I love that. That is. That is beautiful. Yeah, dude. I don't know. Let me see about. I think I was a big. I was a. The Spice Girls were my first sort of like cr.

[Marie]

Who was just. Who was your Spice Girl?

[Sydney]

Let me guess. Let me guess. Go ahead, baby.

[Stav]

No. Really didn't care for ginger. I was a ginger guy. Guy.

[Sydney]

Really?

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marie]

Sick of sick.

[Sydney]

Ah, she was hot. She was. She's still hot.

[Stav]

Well, you know what? It was for me, I really think, like, I. I think about this. I think who Framed Roger Rabbit changed the course of my life.

[Sydney]

Oh, Jessica Rabbit.

[Stav]

I think Jessica Rabbit.

[Sydney]

I mean, everybody's so horny because it's

[Stav]

a movie about a little. A little guy being funny and he gets to. His wife is the hottest woman of all time. I really think that movie is basically my life. Like, I saw that. I was like, whoa, that's how you get girls like that. And then. And then I had a middle school teacher who had red hair and had huge tits, and that just kind of cemented it. And then so went Jessica Rabbit into Ginger, into my sixth grade teacher. And, you know, I think that's there for me.

[Sydney]

But what about now? Who's your Jessica?

[Stav]

There's, you know, eldest. No, no, no, no. The hair is the problem. If he dyed there. Yeah, yeah, he dyed it red.

[Sydney]

Okay.

[Marie]

Okay.

[Stav]

If he picked out that afro and. And hit some relaxer, then maybe texturizer there.

[Sydney]

Elvis does have a 4C.

[Marie]

I love it.

[Stav]

Eldis Dole.

[Sydney]

He's using sacred. I see it for the edges.

[Stav]

Yeah. I think. I really think that's what it was. And, yeah, I guess now you could say I'm searching for my Jessica Rabbit.

[Sydney]

You're searching.

[Stav]

I'm sure. Sure not actually.

[Marie]

Why are you single at Cannes?

[Stav]

I would. Yeah, yeah. No, no one at fucking at Venice was interested in me. They were like, where are the actual movies? They're like, literally. Did I tell you the story where when I stepped out of the car, I was in the same car as Alicia Silverstone, and they literally thought I was a security guy? I was supposed to go. It was supposed to go Alicia, then me. And then Alicia went. And then I went to walk. And they're like, hold on, sir. And then they, like, put the thing. And I was like, I'm in the movie. He's like, oh, okay.

[Marie]

I would remember her being in the movie. Okay.

[Stav]

She was. She had a very small part in it. She was. She played Plemon's mom in flashbacks. She was great at it. But she had a small.

[Marie]

Watch the movie. I saw you on. I was on a flight.

[Stav]

Oh, hell yeah, dude.

[Marie]

I was in Delta Nice. I want to say Delta. It was premium select.

[Stav]

Nice, Nice.

[Marie]

Look at stuff.

[Stav]

Yeah. Hell, yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

[Sydney]

You need that?

[Stav]

It was awesome. But. Yes. Nothing. Nothing going there. But, you know, whatever.

[Sydney]

But what do you. Okay, so what are you looking for in this Jessica? Besides the big tits and the red hair?

[Stav]

I haven't really thought past those.

[Marie]

It's really those two things.

[Stav]

That girl, he wants her to have a nice personality. Yeah.

[Marie]

She don't even care if she can read.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would. I guess that's a. It's not a deal breaker.

[Sydney]

I mean, listen, I think we're a little hard on everybody, like, in terms of what your type is or what you want in a person. I mean, at this age, it's like, like. Hey, scale back a little bit.

[Stav]

Sure, sure.

[Marie]

Scale what back?

[Sydney]

Skill. Like everybody. Oh, you want somebody tall or.

[Marie]

He's got to be.

[Sydney]

So. No, they don't need to be all those things. It's. What about what they make you feel like?

[Stav]

I like that they make me feel

[Marie]

good when they look good. Marie, please come. Come to me. Already a little bit hot. Okay. Because if you're ugly and. Or chopped and you look mean to me.

[Stav]

Right.

[Marie]

And. Or. You can't make me come. Why did you come?

[Stav]

Well, you can't. It's kind of one of those, like, pick. You can't be chop. You can't Be like mean, chopped, and not make people bust.

[Sydney]

But those are the ones that are doing it, though. They're all of those things and they're like, they deserve, you know, a Beyonce or Giselle blue shit.

[Marie]

So, Cindy, what side of the thing is you on now?

[Stav]

Because you want them to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sydney]

Okay, let's see now. When I was thinking about who I wanted, right, I. At first, like, did you make like a.

[Stav]

A list of what you wanted? A partner.

[Marie]

Ciara's prayer?

[Sydney]

Yeah, I did.

[Stav]

How she got Russell Wilson?

[Marie]

Yeah, she prayed.

[Sydney]

She did really pray. She's a really good Christian now.

[Marie]

People are online, like, sierra, send us the prayer. And it's like, well, she's rich and hot, so pray to be that first.

[Stav]

Totally, totally.

[Sydney]

They're like, in order for the prayer work, you got to actually be somebody else's prayer as well.

[Stav]

Absolutely. You haven't qualified for this level of prayer yet. You're too busted for this level of prayer.

[Marie]

How much you been tithing? Maybe she put in a lot. So God put her in front of the line.

[Stav]

That is true.

[Sydney]

I feel like she did tithe a lot to get Russell. But for me, like, when I think about who I wanted, like, physically, I don't. I don't think my. My first. My girlfriend right now was the first thing that popped up. But she's all the other qualities, right? But she obviously is attractive and like, I'm very hot, but that's not what I want. Like, I was like, oh, maybe somebody a lot darker than her and hair was different and you know, you know, different feet, but, like, different feet, different

[Stav]

feet, you know, what's your girl got going on?

[Sydney]

No, no, no, no. I'm the one with the up toes in a relationship, but.

[Stav]

Oh, I see. Yeah, they call me one of us.

[Sydney]

Definitely.

[Marie]

Good foot. So what I'm hearing is I gotta find somebody with gnarly ass toes.

[Sydney]

Honestly, she loves my up toes. Like, she kisses them and. But she. She'll tell me, like, how bad they are while she's, you know, like, that

[Stav]

she's keeping you grounded.

[Marie]

Yes.

[Sydney]

Yeah, but maybe somebody else's prayer, like, oh, they gotta look. They gotta have amazing toes. But then they would be missing out on somebody like me.

[Stav]

Sure. You know, Right.

[Sydney]

So that's why it's like, you gotta.

[Stav]

Who the fuck puts toes at the top of their list?

[Marie]

Somebody with a foot fetish.

[Stav]

Yeah, that's true. Somebody want to walk. You don't want in your life.

[Marie]

Yo, the first time I met somebody who had a foot fetish, I was in college. We were in my friend's dorm, like, a bunch of us hanging out. And this guy was sitting across from me. And the way he was looking at my feet, I was like, this is how Dahmer looked at them little boys. I had on flip flops. I was trying to tuck my toes, and he was, like, leaning in, and he was like, oh, man. And I was trying to sit on my feet. I was like, I need to leave.

[Sydney]

Well, I'm a feet person, and Marie has really good feet.

[Marie]

I gotta tuck my toes on.

[Sydney]

Yeah, you got. You have nice nail beds that you're. The bottom of your feet are white.

[Stav]

You know what I mean?

[Sydney]

Like, they are white. They are very.

[Stav]

You're doing colorism for foot pads.

[Sydney]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now stop, Bobby. You got too comfortable.

[Marie]

Now, the bottom of my feet are real.

[Stav]

I'm just the bottom of Reese. Feet will make it some good gumbo.

[Sydney]

Yeah, but the bottom of her feet are so white. It's like they pay their taxes on they.

[Marie]

And yet they don't. I'm going to jail.

[Sydney]

Going to jail.

[Marie]

But my click.

[Stav]

You're going to wake up in a. In a hospital bed next to City Sydney. She's gonna have your feet. She's gonna do a foot transplant.

[Marie]

No, I know. The doctor's gonna be. What's the dude. The dude from Kill Bill.

[Stav]

Oh, yeah.

[Sydney]

Marie, don't think that of me, but I. You know, it is one of those things where I look at women. I'm like, do I want them or do I want to be them or do I want to be a part of them? Like, I don't know.

[Eldis]

Know.

[Sydney]

But when I see your feet, it's not like a sexual thing, but it's definitely like, damn, I wish my feet look like.

[Stav]

Right, Right.

[Sydney]

For sure.

[Marie]

I've never had foot envy before.

[Sydney]

Well, if I show you my feet, right. What happened to show you my feet?

[Stav]

No, no, on the Patreon. We gotta put that behind a paywall.

[Sydney]

I was like, hey, man, do you want it or no?

[Stav]

No, I do, but I. For your sake, no.

[Sydney]

Okay.

[Stav]

I think it would make a great clip, but I don't want these animals having access to your feet. Oh, but maybe I'm trying to be a good friend.

[Sydney]

Maybe I want them to. Maybe they'll send me something.

[Stav]

Listen, listen, they going to send you a doctor, babe. They're going to send. Yeah, a foot doctor. Some. Yeah.

[Sydney]

War dietrist. Marie.

[Marie]

That's bunion removal.

[Stav]

A link. Yeah, a link for a Good bunion guy.

[Marie]

I want to show my.

[Sydney]

Oh, now I want to clear my name.

[Marie]

Mad girl. You posted them on close friends and your close friends said, hey, take me out the close.

[Sydney]

Yeah, they did. They really did. They said, no, no, enough is enough. Not too far. They said, if you want to be this close, we're not that close. We're rather see an areola than a coke.

[Stav]

Of course, without question, close friends.

[Marie]

You should be post posting your nudes and close friends.

[Sydney]

Really, I don't. But the thing about close friends is that you can't trust them. They're close, but that they're not trustworthy close.

[Marie]

Cindy, you got too many people in your close friendship.

[Sydney]

I got about 100 now. Like, you know what I'm saying? Because some, some of the people you gotta. You got. In order to make them feel closer to you, you got to put them into close friends. You gotta, you gotta send them.

[Stav]

You're weaponizing close friends.

[Sydney]

Yes.

[Marie]

I'm about to take everybody out my close friends and just put Rihanna in my close friend.

[Stav]

You should do that.

[Marie]

And you.

[Stav]

And I've told you this post feed. Yeah.

[Sydney]

And I've told you this. Once you put somebody in your close friend, they can't get out of their close friends unless. Unless they unfriend you.

[Stav]

Oh, interesting.

[Sydney]

So if you do that, she'll be in it and she won't even know that. If you're just having.

[Marie]

She gonna leave. No, we gonna leave her out.

[Sydney]

Your close friends are. You keep it very cute in your close friends. You're not doing too much.

[Marie]

Yeah, yeah. You got close friends.

[Stav]

I don't. I should.

[Marie]

You just put all your business right here?

[Stav]

No. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, I think I will. I just will just because, yeah, now I don't really use Instagram at all anymore because it's become unusable. But if I have close friends, then I can at least. Least you know, keep tabs with the people I actually want to interact with my actual friends.

[Sydney]

Somebody else is using your Instagram.

[Stav]

No, I mean, I use it. I just don't check it that much. Like, it's not a good way for me to like, I mean, yeah, people. Like we have people who post clips and stuff.

[Sydney]

Okay.

[Stav]

I'm the only one who like looks at my messages, but I really don't check them that much anymore because there's just, you know, it gets to a point where it's unusable if you have. If it's just like too many people.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

So.

[Sydney]

Wow. What a flex.

[Marie]

Famous For y'.

[Sydney]

All.

[Stav]

It's you guys, too. It's like anytime you. Anytime you have, like, any. If you're popping, shopping at all, it's like, if you have, like, over 10,000. It's hard to even keep track with that.

[Marie]

Yeah. I think I check all my messages. I don't respond to. I'll be like. I'll circle back.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

Screenshot. And be like, I'm gonna respond.

[Stav]

That's so much more work than just responding.

[Marie]

I know.

[Stav]

Immediately. But that's right.

[Marie]

It feels like now I gotta have a dialogue with this person.

[Stav]

Right.

[Sydney]

But you should do that because actually, good news, guys. I went to a sober convention weekend.

[Stav]

I was. Hell yeah. Respect.

[Sydney]

You said that wasn't it?

[Marie]

I said, that doesn't sound like good news.

[Stav]

That's good.

[Marie]

Start the conversation. But yes, my friend is sober. You went to a sober convention.

[Stav]

I think it's good news.

[Marie]

Good.

[Sydney]

Thank you.

[Marie]

Was like water on the box.

[Stav]

We can't get her drinking again.

[Sydney]

Yes.

[Stav]

Support her, please. Remember. Remember what happens when she relapses. She starts dating guys.

[Sydney]

I was sober when I did that.

[Marie]

Don't do that.

[Sydney]

Don't blame it on drugs and alcohol. That was my bad decision on my own. Okay. My heart was hurting, and so was my pockets. I also was. Poor Marie. You know what the deal was?

[Marie]

More reason to date a man.

[Sydney]

Anyways. Sober convention. I'm doing like 45 minutes. And after the show, this guy was like, oh. And he had. Came to another show that I had recently. He's like, stalker. No, man. Okay.

[Stav]

Good guy.

[Sydney]

He said, you actually are the reason why I started my sobriety journey. And he messaged me. He showed me all the messages we had. And I even told him I was like, oh, yeah, keep doing it. You know, I. I just went through a relapse. I'm. You know, it set me back about for like two years, but I'm back in it. And I had been writing to him and I. I completely forgot. I didn't even know what I was writing. But it was all positivity.

[Stav]

You were on pills.

[Sydney]

And he showed me up until, like, next now, like. And I was like, look at me.

[Stav]

That's big. Yeah, that's awesome.

[Sydney]

Sometimes you don't.

[Stav]

You don't know. Yeah.

[Sydney]

You don't know who you're affecting and who you're making their day brighter and better. So sometimes you got.

[Marie]

By responding to the messages.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

This guy just wanted to. This guy was. Wanted to smash. And. And just by.

[Sydney]

He was gay.

[Stav]

Oh, okay.

[Sydney]

He was homosexual.

[Stav]

That's beautiful.

[Sydney]

You should.

[Marie]

You said.

[Sydney]

I should have led with that. Okay.

[Marie]

Guy came up to me at the.

[Stav]

So that's way more impressive to get a gay guy to stop, you know, a party. Gay got to stop doing drugs. That's huge.

[Sydney]

Is that what it is?

[Stav]

Yeah. That's big. Yeah.

[Sydney]

Yeah. They really. They really do.

[Stav]

Because straight guys, it's like, you get three DUIs, you're like, all right, time to stop drinking. But gay guys could do cocaine forever if they wanted to.

[Marie]

Yeah, but keep them young.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

Sober convention feels like people who are working on themselves. Straight men don't do that. So it's mainly gay men at the event.

[Stav]

Like I said, you just. We just have to hit an extreme rock bottom.

[Marie]

Like I.

[Stav]

Like, for example, I. I weighed 300, 150 pounds at 5 7. I was like, all right, time to clean this. Time to stop, you know?

[Marie]

Now, was it really 350 or was it a little bit more?

[Stav]

It was probably a little bit more because that was the first one I weighed myself, so. So it's probably like at least 360 at times. And I would. That's a tough. I was basically spherical. You could base. You could basically roll me places at that point.

[Marie]

He was in your Humpty Dumpty.

[Stav]

That's right. That's right.

[Sydney]

Your shallow hell.

[Stav]

I w. Yeah, Yeah. I was. I was like, if both characters of shallow hell were one person, I was

[Marie]

like, being big has never stopped you from making any money.

[Stav]

That is true.

[Sydney]

So it's like, why would you stop Elders? Did you ever say anything to him? Were you like, damn, man,

[Eldis]

myself?

[Stav]

The thing is, me and Elders are very codependent, so we had other friends telling both of us,

[Sydney]

you die, we die together.

[Stav]

Yeah, for sure. Me and Elders are going down the same. Exactly. No, no. He's got a much better look. Eldis couldn't handle this. The Lord gave his harder battles to me because he knew Elvis would crumble if he was 573 5.

[Eldis]

I've been pushing the limits of my. Of what I get away with with my height in the last few years.

[Stav]

Yeah, that's true. But after you got married, you know what I mean? You f. You were tall. You got a girl by being tall. You had nothing else you really to offer. You know what I mean?

[Marie]

This job with full benefit.

[Stav]

Let's be very clear. Elder Dental Elders is technically an independent contractor.

[Eldis]

I'm a small business owner. SA is my client.

[Stav]

That's right. That's right, buddy. Exactly. I'm your client.

[Marie]

Incorporated.

[Stav]

Huh?

[Marie]

You incorporated?

[Eldis]

Yeah, he got a little something going.

[Stav]

We got a lot of tax shelters going on Elders. Elders has SULA Enterprises out of. Out of Barbados. He fly. He takes a. He takes a spirit flight.

[Sydney]

Okay.

[Stav]

Twice a month and puts bags of money in Barbados.

[Marie]

Offshore account.

[Sydney]

I love that spirit.

[Marie]

Rest in peace.

[Stav]

That's true. Oh, did we do anybody take a memorable spirit flight?

[Marie]

I've never flown spirit.

[Stav]

Me neither. You don't do that Eldest?

[Eldis]

Yeah, I've done a couple spirit flights.

[Stav]

You're the only spirit guy? Yeah, yeah. Eulogize them, man.

[Eldis]

I don't. I don't remember. I mean, spirits gotten a very bad wrap. One time they fully canceled a flight we were going to take on, like, July 4th.

[Stav]

I remember that like the day before. You borrowed my car, right? My car. To drive to Ohio.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

Fourth of July.

[Eldis]

No, we drove to Michigan. But, yeah, they like, cancel the flight two hours before. Scheduled on, like, Friday afternoon.

[Marie]

To be fair, Delta be doing that, too.

[Eldis]

A full cancellation is crazy.

[Stav]

Full, full cancellation.

[Eldis]

And they didn't say, we'll get you out on something else. They're like, you have to wait till tomorrow. At like.

[Sydney]

Yeah, well, wait, what happened to us when we were in la? This was insane. They kept pushing back the flight all day. Then we finally get there. Push, push, push. Then we get. They're like, oh, your plane is here, but we can't get on. And then the lady on the intercom, you know, no offense, but English, not that well. And she's like, you, if you live in la, go home. Like, just go back home, come back tomorrow. And it's like, what if I don't live here?

[Marie]

I got stuff to do in New York.

[Sydney]

But what to. To. Honestly, a lot of people left. I guess they were from la. They left.

[Stav]

Jesus Christ.

[Sydney]

And so we were ended up waiting for another plane and waiting. And then we finally get on the plane. We get on the plane, y', all, and we're waiting and we're like. And then we see the. The waitress.

[Marie]

Hold on. We get. We get bumped up to first class.

[Sydney]

Delta One, baby.

[Marie]

Oh, no. Delta One.

[Stav]

Oh, my God.

[Sydney]

I should have known. I was like, both of us. Like, if you got upgraded. Okay, cool. But both of us. I was like, there's no way.

[Stav]

Like, I'm bronze medallion.

[Sydney]

I'm gold.

[Marie]

I'm sitting in the pilot's lap. Babe, I'm gold.

[Sydney]

Rosebud gifted me the gold medallion. Shout out to her. Okay. Shout out to Rosebud Baker.

[Stav]

Shout out to Rosebud for.

[Sydney]

In my top, white top. Five white.

[Stav]

Okay, I want to know.

[Marie]

Spirit had medallions.

[Stav]

No chance. No chance in.

[Sydney]

They didn't have snacks.

[Stav]

Get aluminum status.

[Marie]

Loosely status. Anyway, the screens weren't working that the flight attendants needed. And then the. The. The pilot comes out and he's like, there's no food for first class. Are y' all cool with us still taking off? And everyone on the plane was like, yeah. And I'm like, well, I ordered the lasagna. We ordered that in for an hour.

[Sydney]

An hour.

[Marie]

They make us get off. They said, we'll try again tomorrow.

[Stav]

Wait.

[Sydney]

But before that, the flight attendants are running back and forth. They're not telling us. They're just looking, like, panicked and stressed and weird. And it's like, so you're not gonna tell us anything? They're like, oh, we actually can't tell you what's going on until we figure it out. It's like, hey, we need to know what's going on. Because I'd rather just get off the plane.

[Stav]

Of course, while y' all figuring it

[Marie]

out, I was not getting off the plane.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

I said, I'm gonna sit here.

[Stav]

You gotta ride that out.

[Marie]

Ding. Hey, what's going on? I had my slippers on. I had a blanket on my body. Full recline.

[Sydney]

My anxiety is not gonna let me do that.

[Stav]

I had a. I. I was just. I just flew in from Atlanta and I was in the lounge. Like, I missed my first flight. Long story. It was annoying. And I'm in the lounge for a while and the sirens in the airport start going off. And it's like an emergency has been reported in the building. An emergency. And I'm like, a fucking airport emergency. I'm like, is it Now I'm thinking, is hantavirus spreading in Atlanta? Is. Is there a shooter? You know what I mean? Like, and so I'm like, I'm going to die in this airport because my driver took the wrong. Took like four wrong turns in a row. I almost wanted to kill myself. Instead, they just said nothing happened. I never heard anything about it. I wonder what the emergency was. Was. They. They kept it real quiet. I don't know if there was, but

[Marie]

it was a trafficking emergency.

[Stav]

The day before, a guy rushed through tsa, like, just ran through and breached and they like tackled him. But, you know, now what's the plan here?

[Marie]

You think you gonna get to your gate and on your flight before tsa and his. His.

[Stav]

His mug shot was hilarious. Cuz he had like a, like a, like a, like loose ass undershirt. It looked like, it looked like. Do you remember that one picture of that white one Iraqi guy with that crazy scoop neck that they. Yes. You know the one I'm talking about? You know the one I'm talking about?

[Marie]

Dude, it looked like this.

[Stav]

Yeah, it was crazy. He looked like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marie]

He said, this is Abercrombie. This is vintage Abercrombie. Y' all gonna get this shirt.

[Sydney]

I just don't understand why people lose their mind at the airport. But then the airport is a. For you to be like, okay, this is why I'm losing my money.

[Stav]

Absolutely.

[Sydney]

Because the way they kept pushing it back, I was like. And then they gave us a voucher for $12. I was like, hey, Delta, anything in here that I want to eat is not going to be $12.

[Marie]

Right.

[Sydney]

I could get a. A pack of gum.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

For $12.

[Marie]

And I still have to pull money out of my pocket.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Marie]

The rest of it.

[Stav]

Well, that. You know, you Delta for that. For treating my friends that way.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

You don't care about us.

[Stav]

I do. How dare you.

[Sydney]

I know. You got. I know you got your own plane or whatnot.

[Stav]

No.

[Sydney]

You got a tour bus or something.

[Stav]

I got a bus, but I don't. I rent. Rent it. Thank you.

[Sydney]

Okay.

[Stav]

I rent the bus. Okay. I still take flights. I'm one of you guys.

[Sydney]

Commercial flight.

[Stav]

I'm just like you guys, man. It hasn't changed me at all.

[Marie]

You haven't posted a photo on a private jet yet. No, I feel like I've seen that.

[Stav]

No, I. I had one. I've ridden a private jet once. It was the Puma jet to be a part of Paris Fashion Week. That's the only time I've written enough.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

I remember.

[Stav]

But I'm still just a regular guy.

[Sydney]

Was that crazy money or, like, was it worth it?

[Stav]

Yeah, it was, Mateo. It was just cool as it was. Like, the money was okay, but it was. Was like, you get to be. I was like, I get to be a model in Fashion Week. That's the funniest thing I ever heard in my life.

[Sydney]

It was for kids super.

[Stav]

It was for kids super shout out to.

[Marie]

They still think you're security.

[Stav]

They're like, no, they were not. They were not happy to see me there at all.

[Sydney]

Dude.

[Stav]

It. If you think I. I think I might. I really probably am the fattest model ever in Paris because I. That was in the 350. That was in the rond. The extra roton kit.

[Marie]

Super has a lot of bold prince.

[Stav]

He was so mad at me. Dude, he was like. He was like, you're so. You're fucking. He was like, nothing I make fit. She was like, you asked me. He's like, why. Why'd you fly me to Paris to body shame, you fucking piece of shit?

[Sydney]

He just saw how your numbers. He was like, yeah, get him in here.

[Stav]

Yeah. And then he fucking. He literally. I've said this before, the way I. He made a tracksuit out of a medium and a large. He fucking sewed. He sewed two jackets together.

[Marie]

He Frankenstein a jacket.

[Stav]

That's how bad I was.

[Marie]

Dude, I need to find this photo.

[Sydney]

Yeah, we see that.

[Stav]

But then he didn't let me keep it. You. What's that about?

[Sydney]

Now, that. Now that's shy.

[Stav]

Who the else is going to wear that?

[Marie]

Literally.

[Stav]

It's literally made for my.

[Marie]

He said, this could be three smalls.

[Stav]

Yeah. He's like, yeah.

[Sydney]

You know, he untacked all that. He said, no, no, we got to put it back the way it was.

[Stav]

We're going to make seven baby tracksuits out of this. You guys.

[Eldis]

You guys see Drewi wearing that one

[Marie]

day to host the bt?

[Stav]

Yeah. Anyway, well, look, we're. You know, we have a lot of coming off these travel experiences. We've. We've all attained a lot of wisdom here.

[Sydney]

Yes.

[Stav]

Our fans love hearing from you. So, elders, you know, without. Let's start some questions. Maybe in the meantime, anything we want to plug specifically. This will come out in June. Like, maybe late June.

[Marie]

It's coming out for Juneteenth.

[Stav]

Oh, yeah. Maybe it's our Juneteenth episode.

[Sydney]

Don't give him any ideas, Marie.

[Marie]

He did this with me and Alex for Black History Month.

[Stav]

Oh, my God. But it ended up. Oh, yeah, we did. We. Yeah, I thought it was gonna air in March, and then we're like, no, we're doing. We're doing Black History Month, which was almost. We accidentally did all black guests. And then I had my. Maybe my white. One of my whitest friends, a Canadian extra white. He kind of broke it up so terrible because he was promoting.

[Sydney]

I bet that was the lowest one.

[Stav]

No, it did really well. He's a very talented director.

[Sydney]

Oh, God.

[Stav]

Shout out to Matt Johnson, who directed Tony. In theaters soon, I think.

[Marie]

Shout out to Drake.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

Drake released three albums. What is that like?

[Stav]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Sydney]

He had the time, you know. What else was he doing?

[Stav]

I know I. I would have. I really wish he just come out with one album of pure bangers and didn't rehash the beef. It's like, dude, you make awesome. Just. Just remind us why you're the man. Don't talk about this again. But anyway, I digress. This is not.

[Marie]

Not a.

[Stav]

This is not a rap podcast.

[Sydney]

Yes, you're right. My favorite lyrics.

[Marie]

Macy's podcast.

[Stav]

No. Which is a great podcast. Oh, my God. That rant about. He's telling people to just give up.

[Sydney]

He's not. He's.

[Stav]

He's not. Wrong.

[Marie]

Wrong.

[Stav]

No, he's not wrong.

[Sydney]

Because it's okay to pivot.

[Stav]

That.

[Sydney]

The problem is nobody wants to pivot. Everybody's like, no, if I. You just keep going. Some things. Yes, you keep going, like, living, but other, like jobs. Things that you don't have.

[Marie]

Have to.

[Sydney]

You can't sing. But then you see Addison Ray, you know, Billboard everywhere dropping a new album.

[Marie]

She's young.

[Stav]

Yeah, she's young.

[Marie]

And you can't be like, I've been grinding since I was 12 years old. Hey, the rap thing. Not gonna happen for.

[Stav]

No. No. Yeah. He's like, if you're. If you're what? He's like, if you're 40, you have a record deal. He's like, it's time to give up. He was like, he. Because yeah, it's that. Which is a very funny take. He's right.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

The. The idea is like, you've only. The only people who don't make it are the people that quit. He's like, that's not. He's like, some people should quit anyway. Look up the. Look up a. Go watch a better podcast.

[Marie]

Yes.

[Sydney]

Yes.

[Stav]

Go watch. Cameron. Yes. Do you.

[Sydney]

You have something to promote? Yes.

[Marie]

No.

[Sydney]

No. Okay.

[Stav]

What about you?

[Sydney]

I will be in Edinburgh. Oh, I'll be in Scotland with my show. My Black Barbie story.

[Stav]

I love it.

[Sydney]

It obviously Bottle Girl hits, crazy childhood stories all reenacted by Barbies.

[Marie]

Yes.

[Sydney]

For an hour. I could do this hour. It's been over an hour. I'm not gonna do it. By the time I get there, it will be an hour. Come see me get the tickets. You know, it won't be that many black people there, so you might as well come to mind.

[Stav]

No, we're gonna need the Irish to show up.

[Sydney]

Show up for another black.

[Stav]

The most repressed white. The most oppressed white people. We're gonna need you guys.

[Sydney]

We're gonna need you.

[Marie]

We need you to activate your fame. Come on, tell them.

[Stav]

Tell them. You know what?

[Sydney]

Let me message her.

[Stav]

Yeah, Get a story. Repost.

[Sydney]

Let me see what she said.

[Stav]

Play us a little couple questions here. LD Fellas at some point. You got to stop blaming stress, sleep or just getting older. If bedroom performance is in question, it's probably crossed your mind to do something about it. The good news? You don't have to jump through hoops to fit. Fix it. HIMSS connects you with licensed healthcare providers online, giving you simple access to legitimate ED treatment options from home. No awkward appointments, no pharmacy lines. Just complete a simple online intake and a provider will review your information to determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment ships directly to your door in discreet packaging. To get simple online access to personalized, Affordable care for ED hair, hair loss, weight loss and more, visit hims.comstavi that's hims.comstavi for your free online visit hims.comstavi Prescription required. See website for details and important safety information. Sildenafil is the generic version of Viagra. Viagra is a registered trademark of Viatris Specialty llc. HIMS is not affiliated with or endorsed by Viatris. Have you ever been late night shopping? Finally found exactly what you've been looking for for added it to your cart and then realized your car's nowhere in sight? And just when you're about to give up, you see that purple pay button. One tap and you're checked out in seconds. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names to brands just getting started. Their Shop Pay button is used by millions of businesses and it's why Shopify is the best converting checkout on the planet. Planet. Can I be honest with you? I didn't even re I I've been using Shopify for my business. I didn't realize this purple Shop Pay button was Shopify. I use this non stop. A lot of the tracksuits you've seen me in those have been impulse purchases and I'm thankful the Shop Pay button was for because I'm looking delicious in those. And if I had to run down find my cart, these beautiful pieces might have sold out before I even had a chance to get get them. I love it. Just as a consumer, I love it even more when it applies to my business. It makes sure those people are buying that merch. They're not letting it in that cart. I love the Shop Pay button. You're going to love it too if if by some chance you're not already using it. See less carts go abandoned and more sales with Shopify and their Shop Pay Button. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.comstavi go to shopify.com stockstavi that's shopify.comstavi hey, stop.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

I actually just left the voicemail, but I realized it was really, really confusing. Okay, so. Okay, here's the situation. I was adopted when I was a kid, did a 23andMe found my biological family because I was looking for my dad's side, always knew my biological mom's side. So I do the 24 and me find all my family, reconnect with them. I meet my biological grandfather on my mom's side. We're all close. Everything's going great. And then I, I found out the 23 and me got updated and a man popped up that is supposedly my biological grandfather on my mom's side, but that's not my grandfather. Like that's not her father that she knows of. So I did a lot of digging. I went through all these like old news articles. I went through like divorce records and things. Long story short, my biological mother's mother had a whole second family, well, possibly third family out in like Texas and California. And so the grandfather that popped up on the 23andMe is most likely her actual biological grandfather. And she or her biological father. And she doesn't know that. You can, you can kind of tell, like they don't look alike. She looks a lot like her mom. But yeah, it's a whole weird situation. And since I was, you know, adopt that version, given up from the family, I don't know if it's my place to go, hey, that's not your dad. Like this, this actual man is because

[Stav]

I don't want her to go through

[Caller with 23andMe story]

the same thing I went through. But like at the same time she should know that that's not her actual father. Right? Like, yeah. So I don't know what to do. I'm like freaking out, man.

[Stav]

23andMe is ruined. I mean, this is crazy. It's like not only is the government now just has your DNA, they're gonna sell that shit to Palantir at some point.

[Sydney]

Point.

[Stav]

Not only is that a problem, but it's like how much just old fashioned cheating did it ruin?

[Marie]

The mom had a second family.

[Stav]

I respect that, by the way.

[Sydney]

I'm happy for the mom.

[Stav]

Shout out to the mom. That is hard to do. Yeah, I guess she just wore very loose clothing for all six months.

[Marie]

Who did it? She gotta cook.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

No, she was being a deadbeat mom and I promote that. I promote that. So good for her.

[Stav]

Breaking.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Breaking the glass. We do love when we hear about female dirt bags on this podcast. It promotes equality.

[Marie]

Women in male dominated industries and women in stem. Pop off, you trashy beast.

[Sydney]

Yes, but also, it's like, why y so nosy? Like, for the wrong things. It's like, what does it matter? I, I, I know you mean, like, imagine if me right now at this age being like, you know what? I just want to know who my dad is. I would never.

[Stav]

Right?

[Sydney]

I would.

[Marie]

Because, you know, I could text Maury.

[Sydney]

No.

[Stav]

Holy. I would love to do a. You are not the father with you. I would love to try and find your. I mean, if you don't want to, obviously. I'm just saying, in a world where you wanted it, you gotta admit, that would be. I get to be my numbers. That would really do numbers. And of course, this is not, you know, I, you, you're, you're literally saying, like, you're being very vulnerable and saying, I don't, I don't want to. You're sharing something and we're like, wait, wait, what about the retweets?

[Eldis]

Imagine the.

[Sydney]

I would do it for the content. I would do it for the content. But for me personally, what, what would me finding my father now do for me? I'm already like, phase out of caring,

[Stav]

you know what I'm saying?

[Sydney]

I'm at the age where it's like,

[Marie]

if you had a rich dad all this time, you would get your trust.

[Sydney]

He would not give me that money. He'll find a way. He'd get me murdered. He's like, I'm not giving her this money. Yeah, I would.

[Stav]

Jesus Christ.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

That's the first thing you're thinking of.

[Sydney]

Yes. Because when men don't want to give up their money, they murder. They don't have any money. They still murder. Like, either way, they're going to find a way to murder. So, no, I don't want to deal with that.

[Stav]

But sure, but I understand what you mean where it's like, look, when you're an adult, when you're a fully formed adult, like, it's even somebody who, like, because this situation is not even that. Right? Like, yours is like this person, person knows who her father was. Had her mom. So she's talking about her mom, right? Her mom knows who her father. Like, she grew up her entire life. This guy's my dad. If, if it's, if, like, you're not gonna, you're not gonna have exact. She's not gonna have a relationship with this guy who's about to die in Arizona or wherever the So I do see it from that where it's like, you know what? Like what's the point of. Of stirring shit up right now? Cuz if I was in those, like if I found out a different guy was my dad, I would not give a. At all.

[Sydney]

He wouldn't care.

[Stav]

I would, I would not. Like for even. And I don't have a great relationship. I mean me and my father have like have had a rocky relationship in the past, but even he is my dad. Good or bad. That's my dad. That's the guy who raised me. That's who I think of as my father. That's who I still love. Like, and that should be your.

[Marie]

Your show.

[Sydney]

That's my dad.

[Stav]

That's my dad.

[Sydney]

A half hour comedy of you being. Finding out that your dad is not your dad. But he's like, that is my dad.

[Stav]

And then it's like three Men and a baby. But it's like, it's like, it's b. Basically like a m. Like a. A scumbag Mamma Mia. Where it's like, like who are these? Like there's like a shitty. There's like a low level drug dealer, a pawn shop owner, a diner owner. Those three are kleiner the whole movie. We should do white trash Mamma Mia. That's a good idea.

[Sydney]

Yeah, you do it.

[Marie]

Will there be singing?

[Stav]

Yeah, maybe. No maybe. Maybe blowing into a jug, you know, playing the glasses. That's cool. The ceremony, the theremin. Hell yeah.

[Marie]

I feel like if your mom gave you up for adoption, you should tell her that she was adopted too. Hey.

[Stav]

Oh wow.

[Marie]

You didn't want me. They didn't want you neither.

[Sydney]

If you were being petty.

[Marie]

Yeah, sure.

[Stav]

That would be yes. If you're like, that's the thing. You don't know this lady. No, you know what I mean? It's like if you wanted. Did she say if she wants a relationship? She said no. Right? I eldest.

[Eldis]

Yeah, she didn't really say.

[Stav]

This is. She's. She's basically saying like look, my biological mom, who I have no real connection to, I found out that her dad through day. By the way, this, this girl sounds like a real sleuth, by the way.

[Marie]

She is.

[Stav]

I respect that. Yeah.

[Marie]

She's legit. A little detective.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

And now she's like, she should know, right? She. By the time she said this, she probably already told her she did it.

[Stav]

Yeah. I just think if. Yeah, I think because especially actually like I'm trying to think if this happened to my mom, who's. Who I My biological, who I grew up with, it's a little different because it's like I have a real relationship with her. I. I just wonder. It's because it's her decision. I mean, I guess it depends like how old is this person and how old is the other person. Right. If it's someone at the end, they're pretty. Yeah. I don't know that I would even tell my over 30.

[Sydney]

They're old.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I feel like she like set off to learn something about her so herself and now she's just like. It's like going from this self discovery thing to like she's learning like family intrigue and like drama of a family

[Stav]

that's not hers, by the way. It's like, like I on this, this has come up a couple times on the show. I'm firmly a believer that the people who raised you, the people you're around.

[Sydney]

Yes.

[Stav]

That's your family. Right?

[Sydney]

Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut is definitely raised me.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

Every time I went there every Friday.

[Stav]

The only reason you know how to read me too, those mini pizzas. Remember that shit? I read so many books that I would never have because they promised you a mini pizza if you read a book. Remember that shit? Shout out to Pizza Hut for helping our literacy. Yeah.

[Sydney]

No Child Left Behind.

[Stav]

Yeah. They did a much better job than the George Bush administration. Pizza Hut absolutely taught more kids to read than George Bush administration. Without question.

[Marie]

Wasn't George Bush reading a book to the kids when 9 11.

[Stav]

Of course. The famous meme where some guy whispers in his ear and he's like. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. A second. A second or second tower is at the building is what I think they

[Marie]

told him he was reading.

[Stav]

I think, I think that's public knowledge. It's a, it's a book called Trust Everything the government tells you kids if something crazy happens and the believe whatever the government says is the official explanation.

[Marie]

It was goosebumps. And it was a tower of terror. A tower of terror.

[Eldis]

He was reading a children's book titled the Pet Goat.

[Stav]

The Pet Goat. Interesting.

[Sydney]

It was. It's definitely something Bush would read to kids.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

I wonder if the sales for the book went up after the towers went down.

[Stav]

That's interesting.

[Sydney]

No, it was the same as glitter. Like it just bad, bad promo.

[Stav]

Oh, right, yeah. Glitter did get. And which Jay Z album came out that day?

[Marie]

Yeah, one of the jayz.

[Stav]

It was one. It was a, it was a. It was a huge one.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

There's a reasonable doubt, but it didn't get any. In fact, I've heard so many stories of guys in New York, but being like, I was really annoying. The trains were all. I still had to go and I had to go get the album. Like, people. People were like, I was going to get it. Which one was it?

[Eldis]

It was the blueprint.

[Stav]

Blueprint.

[Sydney]

Oh, wow.

[Marie]

It did do really well. They were listening to it in the sky.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

Ribbon in the skirt.

[Stav]

Wow. The blueprint. That's the blueprint coming out on 911. There's something very powerful about that. About like, any. Anyway, so. Yeah.

[Marie]

Yes. Tell the mom. Or don't.

[Sydney]

No, don't do it.

[Stav]

Don't do it. You know, it's like, yeah, this, you. You bit off. This is not your responsibility at all. At all.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Maybe if these people raised you and you knew about this drama and you understood their whatever. But it's like, I. I just don't think. First of all, if you want to. I don't. I wouldn't blame you if you're like, hey, we don't really know each other. I just felt like you needed to know this. I just think, what's the upside or downside for you?

[Sydney]

You.

[Stav]

What is the upside here?

[Marie]

Hey, save it till Thanksgiving and. Or Christmas when you, your mother, your biological mom have a big fight, throw it in her face.

[Stav]

But they don't know each other. Right.

[Marie]

She just wait to go and go.

[Stav]

She was just looking for. To find that right eldest. Didn't she say? She was just trying to figure it out. I mean, this is her second attempt at it. And this still was a little confusing even to me.

[Marie]

I think she. She found out and then 23andMe was like, oops, we made a mistake.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

But also, how much are we believing? Believing the accuracy of 23.

[Stav]

Oh, smart cheaters across the world are trying to pull this right now, by the way. They're like, how can we even trust.

[Marie]

Who's the blonde lady that's in jail that was like pretending she was fixing people's.

[Stav]

Oh, no, no.

[Sydney]

Elizabeth.

[Stav]

Elizabeth Holmes.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Marie]

So 23 and me.

[Stav]

No, 23andMe. Actually, this, this, that was like, oh, one drop of blood. I could tell you everything about you ever. And people are like, yeah, good, good.

[Marie]

Here's a billion dollars.

[Stav]

Yeah, exactly. Damn. It's crazy how, how, how, how dumb money works in this country.

[Sydney]

Really dumb.

[Marie]

We need to put our heads together.

[Sydney]

Yeah, but we're black, friend. That's not going to be the same.

[Stav]

You could.

[Sydney]

I mean, they're going to be asking all the questions That's a good point. They see us with this hairstyle, they're going to be like, oh, no, no,

[Stav]

no, no, Sid, how about we get Rosebud and Mill involved? She's got some connections to the Defense Department, you know what I mean? We make it an anti missile thing.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Rosebud's the face. Face of your scam. You know what I mean?

[Sydney]

Definitely has the face for it.

[Stav]

And those bangs. Yeah.

[Marie]

The background for it.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah. I like. This is a great one.

[Marie]

Or me and Sydney go full white chicks.

[Stav]

White chicks.

[Sydney]

Let's do white chicks.

[Marie]

Marie, one of Drew Ski's makeup artist,

[Stav]

who is unbelievable, by the way. Yeah.

[Sydney]

So good.

[Stav]

Unbelievable. Yeah.

[Sydney]

Frightening, but so good.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah. Very uncanny.

[Sydney]

It doesn't matter what nationality he's trying to be. He looks ugly in everything.

[Stav]

He's nailing it, though. Yeah.

[Marie]

And we gotta get Drew Ski on the pod.

[Stav]

I would love to. We almost did one time a couple years ago and just the timing didn't work. Yeah. But. But yeah, Drew Ski is what I would love to have him on. Yeah. We got Drew Ski. If you're listening, and I know you're not,

[Sydney]

you never know.

[Stav]

You're welcome to come on anytime. I'm a huge fan. I mean, he really. And I love the tradition of, like, it kind of is a. Like, it's Eddie Murphy, Dave. Like, the white face face is kind of a tradition in black. Like, Eddie Murphy's original white, like me sketch is so funny and good and then. And Chappelle's like, almost like gray newscasters. Hilarious. And Jersey's crushing it in that regard. Like, he's. There's. So.

[Sydney]

It's always gonna hit.

[Marie]

Yeah, it was. It was in Erica Kirk's inbox.

[Sydney]

Oh, yeah.

[Marie]

It was like, girl sis, have you seen this? Yeah, no, she had to turn her phone.

[Stav]

That's a tough one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a tough one, man.

[Sydney]

Well, you know, she has Google alerts. You know that. Yeah, yeah, probably she is that girl.

[Stav]

Probably somebody on her team does for sure.

[Sydney]

No, it's specifically her. I think she wants to hear that.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sydney]

She gets off to that. Probably.

[Stav]

Yes. It certainly seems that it hasn't. It hasn't been a. A subtle couple, you know, six months or whatever. But anyway, yeah, Drew, come on. You can be in white face. You can be in Latino fa. Actually, let's keep it the white face,

[Marie]

brown face, you know.

[Stav]

You know what? You know what? Actually a great Latino skit would be if he just got like a wig and like, Had Dominican hair. And he just did like. He kind of did that. He did like Godfrey's. I know black character.

[Eldis]

One of the.

[Stav]

One of the most black. I mean, a really gifted comedian just nails someone in like two seconds and that's enough. We all know those guys. We all know those guys.

[Marie]

Sketch was so good.

[Stav]

Yeah, it was very good.

[Marie]

I mean, he literally is.

[Stav]

And he also had that. I also love the. The first one he ever did where the white face was kind of. It was experimental. Was like the white rapper. Do you see that one? That one's fucking hilarious. He really nails that makeup himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sydney]

It was in the, you know, the working out, the tweet that looked more

[Stav]

like Chappelle's, like, gray face makeup. But it was. It was really good. Anyway, next question. Mr. Sula. Oh, holy shit. What's going on? It's time to get. You know what time it is, Marie. Keep it twisted, folks. That's right.

[Sydney]

Come on, Beavis and Button.

[Stav]

We forgot. Sorry, we don't have our twisted cats today. We're moving into the. Into the studio and we're. We'll have them soon. But now it's time for our ass Twisted Ass question of the week, brought to you by Twisted T. And you know what? Crack a little Twisted tea. You know that tea.

[Marie]

Big as hell.

[Stav]

Yeah, it really is. God damn, this shit is honestly so good. This tastes so good. Anyway, it's the twisted ass fucked up ass motherfucking ass question of the week, of course. And this summer, it's extra twisted and motherfucking ass fucked up because we got the summer party pack, baby. We're talking original half and half rocket pop and the new Twisted Lemonade. Yeah, and a really nice element that I love. That's right, the new Twisted Lemonade. It comes in a rad color changing can and is only available in the summer party pack. Oh. Ooh. You got to keep it extra twisted with this new summer party pack. Play us in, Elvis. What do we got?

[Buddy with truck dilemma]

What up, Stav? Elvis, esteemed guest, longtime listener, firsttime caller. Here's what's going on. One of my best buddies is moving back to town after being gone for a few years. Really stoked to have him back. He did mention that he's not going to have a car when he moves back because he quit his job that gave him a company truck. So him and his fiance are only going to have one vehicle without it.

[Stav]

Suburbs, big time. Only one car.

[Buddy with truck dilemma]

Without thinking about it or hesitating, I offer to let him borrow my second vehicle. So he can get to work.

[Sydney]

Stupid.

[Buddy with truck dilemma]

And just to drive around until he can save enough cash to buy a whip.

[Stav]

You're a good friend.

[Buddy with truck dilemma]

Here's the problem. My buddy is a terrible driver. He doesn't like getting a bunch of accidents or get a bunch of tickets. But I've ridden with him enough to know that. That he drives aggressively. He speeds everywhere he goes. He breaks harshly. Accelerates harshly.

[Stav]

Okay. He just really

[Marie]

drives second vehicle.

[Buddy with truck dilemma]

And this second vehicle is an old truck that I recently just bought off my grandpa. It's an old Ford Ranger.

[Stav]

Those are cool.

[Buddy with truck dilemma]

Super low miles, super clean. And I had plans to. To turn it into like a little camping rig for the summertime. I'm starting to have second thoughts about letting him borrow the truck.

[Stav]

No shit.

[Buddy with truck dilemma]

Because I just know how hard he is on vehicles and how much wear and tear he's gonna put on this thing. I saved. You know, I worked really hard to save up the cash to buy this truck. It has sentimental value. It's my grandfather's truck.

[Stav]

Why did you give it to him?

[Buddy with truck dilemma]

I would really hate to see something happen to it or have him just put a lot of wear and tear and miles on this vehicle. It stays in my garage. I drive it maybe once a week on the weekends. I'd like for it to stay nice and last me a long time. Let me know. Should I tell him I changed my mind? Should I just bite the bullet and let him borrow the truck and hope for the best? This is one of my best friends. I would do anything for him.

[Tattoo Artist Caller]

Him.

[Buddy with truck dilemma]

But I don't want him to up my. So let me know what I should do. Thanks.

[Stav]

Interesting. Not very. Not as twisted as I'd like. Eldis. Eldis. Really phoning it in today. I thought he was like, oh, he's moving back home. But as when he was gone, I. His ex girlfriend or something, you know,

[Sydney]

that would have been.

[Stav]

That would have been twisted. This. This is basically a. I regret offering. Offering my friend my shitty second beater car. Which, you know, I get that. I think probably people. I bet. I think some of our friends would feel this way about Eldis. I think. Imagine if straight George offered you a vehicle.

[Eldis]

I've used his car before. He's lent it to me.

[Stav]

Yeah, but he hasn't been pumped about it.

[Eldis]

Oh, he was fine. I did call him because I thought I fucked up his bumper and scratched it up real quick.

[Stav]

Bad.

[Eldis]

And I told him about it a couple days after it happened. He was like, oh, it was like that already. I was like, oh, thank God.

[Sydney]

But at least you showed him that you're honest. You're like, if I did do it, it was me.

[Eldis]

Exactly.

[Sydney]

That's dope. I think he was. His heart was in the right place. It's like, this is my best friend. We do that all the time. Just the other day somebody asked me to do like a good friend of mine asked me to do a gig and I said yeah, of course. Didn't ask where it was. What the timing. How much is going to be then? Then come to find out it's going to be like 10 hours for $200. Hey, buddy, why did you think I would be available for something like this?

[Marie]

Because you said yes and it was

[Stav]

like, my friend, did you weasel your way out of it?

[Sydney]

The people kept hitting me up about like, what's my sizing and stuff. And it was like, ah, can y' all make it letter later in the day? Like blah, blah, blah. And then eventually I did. I thought I confirmed with the them and then I was like, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. They're like, hey, we went with somebody else. That's how.

[Stav]

Yeah. Nice. Yeah, thank you. That's nice. Like for you. Like, what would I do? Like, okay, like let's say I was you. Like, yeah, you can give it a click.

[Marie]

What does this do?

[Stav]

It just locks it.

[Sydney]

Oh, okay.

[Stav]

Yeah. Now I'm. I've been given an opportunity to. To move it. Now my. My arm is. I have motion now you can jerk off. I could. Well, it's my left hand. I'm still. I've luckily have been able to jerk off. This who I do. I do. It does look honestly, as far as Casco. It does look cool.

[Sydney]

Yeah, it does.

[Marie]

That's what it looked like when you out of shirts.

[Stav]

Yeah. Blue Cross Blue Shield for show. That's right.

[Sydney]

It's Blue Cross Blue Kill Blue Shield plus it's giving.

[Stav]

Plus maybe. I don't know, I just got new insurance. We'll see. I think it's good. Hopefully I'll get a big ass. This cost me $8,000. Somehow

[Sydney]

it's more than that.

[Stav]

No, this thing. No, it's like five, 500 bucks probably. Yes.

[Marie]

Yeah, that's the poor people cast the one that you got. You just gotta like have an L shaped arm.

[Stav]

I know. Like, okay, if it's your best friend, like if it's your. Like if I was with Eldis, right, And I offered you like to let you borrow like my car, which I like, I would just be like, don't. Like, don't my up, dude. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, the second I see you doing some up, I'm taking the car.

[Marie]

The car.

[Stav]

Because if this is your best friend, you can talk to him that openly and honestly, where you can be like, all right, dude, here. You can use it to help you get back, you know, back on your feet or whatever the. But yeah, you also did up in not setting the, like, parameters here.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Because it's like, when's this guy. Guy gonna get a car? It doesn't happen overnight. Like, you said it yourself. You. You saved up to buy your grandfather's old truck. Which. Do you ever think him and grandma had a nice time in there?

[Marie]

It's a car from Titanic. Went in the hand. It's a Ford Model T. Yeah.

[Sydney]

Girl, you're mine the way you be you can't remember nothing from yesterday but

[Marie]

you the way you be getting I knows the top.

[Stav]

That's your shit every night. Did you see it in theaters?

[Marie]

No.

[Stav]

No.

[Marie]

I was a child when that movie came out.

[Stav]

I was a child to. But my dad and his, like, his contractor friend, his painter friend. One time we had, like, a day off from school, and my. My dad's friend was like, this is a good movie. You see tits in it. And my dad was like, really? And then he took. He took me and my brother and his friend to go see Titanic.

[Marie]

Only, like, in second grade.

[Stav]

When did it come out? 98, 99.

[Eldis]

I remember I saw it in theaters twice.

[Stav]

Wow.

[Marie]

How old are y'?

[Stav]

All? We're 37.

[Marie]

Sydney, you have to put the. That away. H.R. we need H.R. in here. Got her heels out.

[Sydney]

It looks like I've been doing the dance. The heel toe on my heel. It's so ashy.

[Eldis]

Sydney can't help her.

[Sydney]

Something Sydney really wants.

[Marie]

Stop.

[Sydney]

Fans.

[Stav]

Stop. You really do see her.

[Sydney]

I don't take anything right now.

[Stav]

You know what I'm saying?

[Marie]

Girl, you have a girlfriend. You don't need these people.

[Stav]

I was 8 years old, and my father took me to see it in theaters. I just did the math. It came out in 97. We were both 8. Me and eldest were looking at tits in a theater at 8 years old.

[Sydney]

What a good day.

[Marie]

Let's talk about the tits from Draw Me like you draw your French girls tits.

[Stav]

Yeah, those are awesome.

[Ad Voice]

Come on.

[Sydney]

Yeah, so that's not tits.

[Stav]

Those are big. What are you talking about?

[Marie]

Those are breasts.

[Sydney]

Breasts. That's a breast.

[Marie]

Tits.

[Stav]

I don't know. Those are tits.

[Sydney]

Tits are mine, you know?

[Stav]

No, those are Tits. Yours are tits as well.

[Sydney]

Oh, okay.

[Stav]

I'm not saying you're not, you don't have tits. Oh, do not.

[Sydney]

I was also gonna say you said, oh, I gotta, I could just talk to my best friend. But if you know your best friend, then you know your best friend gonna up your. Like, that's like me saying, marie, please be on time. She's not gonna do it.

[Marie]

And she said it to me all.

[Sydney]

I do it all the time. And every time she's like, hey girl, yeah, yeah. 30 minutes late.

[Stav]

It's like, yeah.

[Marie]

And then you.

[Stav]

But what you do is then take it on everybody else and act like Marie with all your other friends. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're Marie to everybody else. I love the idea that you're. Yes, Marie is usually seven minutes later than you, but you're both a half hour late.

[Sydney]

Okay.

[Marie]

Cuz when I la here today, she was also in the light with me. Talk about here. Is there food at least I ate before I got to the studio. I'm late cuz I ate.

[Sydney]

No, I, I say that because first of all, he hit us up last minute yesterday. I said, oh, he, he playing. He don't care. He like, hey, what these, what these,

[Stav]

what these want from. From aavos.

[Marie]

Somebody let know. I like that. Somebody let healthy. I was like, we're just having a

[Stav]

little, we're just having fun.

[Sydney]

You know.

[Marie]

I was laying in my bed today, like I guess I could do fine.

[Stav]

I know I was. We thought we were gonna hit the morning off. I was hungover. Eldis had, you know, was gonna do some fun. And then we're like, everybody just kind of started being like, oh, we actually, we can do it like kind of last minute. So we're like, I guess we're just actually doing pods all day.

[Sydney]

You live around the corner, so I know it's not that far for you.

[Stav]

Quite around the corner. Where do you live?

[Eldis]

I'm in Williamsburg.

[Stav]

Oh, okay.

[Sydney]

Yeah, you're not that far. Like, you know, I mean, I live in Flatbush, so it's going to take me some time.

[Stav]

Take you some time? Yeah.

[Marie]

That's why I was late.

[Stav]

What do you want from me? Queens was too much. I moved to Manhattan. You want me to move the block you live on?

[Marie]

She told me even later, the closer something is to my house, the later I'mma leave my house. I can see it from here. I'mma get there at 6.

[Sydney]

Hey, I this, Everybody just needs to lean a little bit More into lateness

[Stav]

then I kind of agree with you. Yeah, I do think we have. We're a little too, like. I catch myself all the time being too impatient. And it's like, why the fuck. Like, obviously when you have shit to do, that's one thing. But it's even that. It's like, you should give yourself a little buff. That's what I'm learning is like, don't schedule yourself to what is theoretically possible. Give yourself some time on either end, because always happens.

[Marie]

But, you know, they say people who are always late are optimistic. Oh, we always feel like it's not gonna take me that long to get there today.

[Stav]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[Marie]

Or I'll be like, it's never taking me five minutes to do my makeup.

[Stav]

But I'd be like, today's the day.

[Marie]

Every day.

[Stav]

I've been training for it, and this is the day.

[Marie]

I'm not gonna hit any red lights. The train is gonna be on time.

[Stav]

I get that these listen.

[Marie]

Who are chronically late.

[Stav]

I'm busting your balls. But I often have the same problem. I think it's a. Every. So many comedians just do have some kind of ADD type shit that, like, makes your brain not able to. I'm bad with time. I'm bad. Anytime a plan changes, that, like, freaks me out for a little bit and I just have to. But I'm trying to get better with rolling with the punches. Anyway. Let's go back. Yeah. Every time you do the podcast, it is a sparring session for this guy, for this, you know, barely twisted ass. Call of the week.

[Sydney]

Keep it twisted.

[Marie]

What's the opposite? Twisted? Straight.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

Straight.

[Stav]

Yeah. Keep it straightened. I would say. How long does he want to borrow it? You know what I mean? If it's a couple weeks, I say you bite the bullet and just do it. If this guy's just like, hey, can I borrow it in perpetuity until I can. Until I can save up? Then I think you have to be like, hey, man. You know, you're like, hey, like, you can borrow the car, but whatever. Let's set some parameters here. You get it for a couple weeks just to get your back, but I don't know.

[Marie]

That feel like a lot of work. Just lie to your friend. Say, my grandfather, this my grandfather's car. He actually don't want you driving it.

[Stav]

How about this?

[Marie]

He don't want you touching his car.

[Stav]

All right. Yeah.

[Marie]

Henry Ford gave this to him.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

But then it's gonna be like his grandfather died, so the ghost don't want.

[Stav]

I was playing. I was, I was playing. I broke out the Ouija board. And my grandfather made it very clear he doesn't want you driving that car. Yeah. Is your friends, you know, even partially of a different race? Could you blame it on your grandfather being raised racist?

[Marie]

Let's really delve into this.

[Stav]

Here actually is a. Here's if you do want to lie to him, if he, if he doesn't know anything about cars, what you can do is do take like a spark plug out or like take something that's like not a big actual problem. Like now it's an old truck so it doesn't have electrical problems, but it's like, could you like, could you make some kind of mind their day? Could you stage an accident? Oh, hey,

[Marie]

cut the brakes.

[Stav]

Could you. Yeah. Could you pretend that you had a fender bender and it needs to be in the shop?

[Sydney]

Yes.

[Stav]

And you're like, dude, I'm so sorry. My, you know, my, I need to replace the transmission or some.

[Marie]

He says he drives this car once a week. So you going to say that to your boy and then he going to catch you at the drive thru McDonald's and you going to be like, oh,

[Stav]

well, that's the catch. Right? Right.

[Marie]

Fixed it.

[Stav]

You're right. What you have to do is now you have to sacrifice your use of the car. So until he buys a fucking, you know, Ford Explorer that you have to keep that motherfucker in the garage. You have to say that. Ah, it's still getting worked on.

[Sydney]

What happened with being honest? Hey man, actually I see how you treat stuff. I, I don't know, I like, I don't really see it for you. Like I need to see you treating your things better when you drive. Oh, you ain't got no car. Sorry.

[Marie]

I'll be like, you sound gay.

[Stav]

And he wouldn't be wrong. No, but the point, like the more larger question here is it's not even about this. It's like, how do you. When. Because we've all been there. When it's like you're caught up in the moment and you make a promise you know, you're not going to keep on the back of your head, almost

[Marie]

immediately after you make it, you'd be

[Stav]

like, man, why did I stop? Why did I do this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so the real question is, what's the philosophy of gay getting out of that? How do you do it? And I think the most mature way is to just own up to it and be like, hey man, I thought about it. It's like this is Drive crazy. It's just like, it's like that's. And honestly you could throw the grandfather card in there where it's like, look, this is kind of. This isn't. I've been driving it recently. It's kind of an old beat up truck. I barely use it. I don't think. And you might not even be lying. I don't think this is, this is the kind of truck that should be anybody's daily driver. Which might actually be true.

[Marie]

What is it like a.

[Stav]

He's talking about some. An old Ford Ranger, right. Which is a cool car. But it's like. I think that. Which is also true, by the way. I think an old antique car that has a lot of sentimental value to you. That's the kind of car that you only drive once a week. You could just be like dog. I thought about it. This car can't be a day to day car. Like if you need to borrow it, if you have to go grab some from Home Depot or you need like you need a truck for the afternoon, you can borrow it.

[Marie]

But like truck for the day. He comes back three weeks later.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, that's sometimes when you need. We need to move something thing. It's like that's not unheard of like having to borrow a truck.

[Eldis]

I think a good half lie. He said he wanted to like make it into a camping rig for the summer. That's his excuse right there. He's like, oh, I gotta keep it in the garage. I'm really trying to get this thing ready for the summer.

[Stav]

Yeah, no, that's a good. You could you say as it is right now, it's not ready to be a daily driver. I'm gonna do. I'm gonna put some work into it and get it ready to just be my camper for the summer. I don't think it makes sense for you to borrow this. But if you need a ride and then you offer a half ass like hey, but anytime you need a ride or whatever. You know what I mean? You also don't mean.

[Marie]

And now it's the Green Book or whatever movie was with the Green Mile.

[Stav]

The Green Book is where an Italian solves racism by dropping by. Driving a black guy around the south,

[Marie]

now we're assuming his friend black.

[Stav]

Yeah. No way. By the way. No chance.

[Marie]

Probably my dad has one of these cars that he drives once a week.

[Stav]

Oh hell yeah.

[Marie]

My uncle get him this like old. His like old Benz, like his Mercedes.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

And my dad would like Take it out and buff it and.

[Stav]

Yeah, I get that, though.

[Marie]

Pressure and. I mean, he wouldn't even take it that far.

[Stav]

He would drive it to church. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah.

[Marie]

To drive it to church and then

[Stav]

like, to show God he's prosperous and

[Marie]

then not put no money in the plate.

[Sydney]

That's why I can't put no ties. You see what I'm doing?

[Marie]

I'm doing well. God is good. Pass the plate and he'd be like, could pass it to.

[Stav]

Here's a punch card. You only need one more sandwich to get a free sandwich. Throw that in there. Yeah, I think that's the thing. I. I think.

[Eldis]

I think he should fix it up for camping and then take his buddy out camping and have a delicious twisted tea summer party.

[Stav]

That's a great idea.

[Eldis]

Including this new delicious lemonade flavor.

[Stav]

That is true. There isn't. Yeah, that's exactly right. Here's what you do. You fix it up as a camper. You find a nice lagoon, right? You drive it to the lagoon. You and your friend pull up with

[Marie]

the camper, have a full Brokeback Mountain moment.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Listen, you know you can have gay sex with him if you want to. We're not. We're not gonna.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Marie]

Keep it twisted.

[Stav]

Keep it twisted. Suck your boy off to apologize for not letting him borrow your car. Drink an ice cold twisted tea.

[Eldis]

Drink responsibly and suck him off and

[Sydney]

turn it around and be a body.

[Marie]

Yeah. Twist it when you go from top to bottom, y' all both verse twist.

[Stav]

And it is. It is June right now, which is pride month.

[Sydney]

Pride month.

[Stav]

So that is 15 for the games.

[Marie]

He got two vehicles.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Marie]

Drop one to be a top and drop one to be a.

[Stav]

All right, let's. Yep. We did it, folks. Whoa. Holy. Remember, folks, keep it fucking twisted. Keep it twisted. Beautiful. We solved that delay, that very twisted question now, El. I can't wait to see this one is definitely going to be a more twisted question. Play it. Let's see what we got. You know, I'm a busy man. I'm an on the go fella. I'm busy. Time is money, I often say. And I hate waiting around around when I want something to get done. You know, sometimes I've hired contractors, come in and do a job. And not only do I have to wait around, but the premium priced pro sometimes causes more of a problem. I've had a bad TV mounting job. I've had bad H Vac stuff done. That's why I love Pesi. Other pest control companies charge hundreds of dollars. But with Pesi, you can get started at just $35 per treatment with a customized plan based on your location. Bugs and climate. With the DIY kit, there are no strangers in your house or appointments to make time for. Pesky gets rid of over 100 types of bugs, from spiders and ants to roaches and scorpions. Their DIY kit includes a sprayer, mixing bag, pesticide gloves, and instructions you could complete in less than 10 minutes. I'm a pesty guy. When I first moved into an old apartment, I was very lucky that I just found out about Pen Pesty and I used it to get rid of, let's just say some the the conditions I found the apartment in were not acceptable immediately. With Pesky, I was able to handle it myself. It was a. It was a water bug situation. I'm familiar with them growing up on the east coast, growing up in Baltimore, some might call them roaches. Either way, Pesty got him out of there quick. Easy as pie. What are you waiting for? Fix your bug problem before it gets worse. Go to Pesty.com sticker Stavi for an extra 10% off your order today. That's P-E-S-T-I-E.com Stavi for an extra 10%

[Eldis]

Off hey everybody, Ted Danson here to tell you about my podcast with my longtime friend and sometimes co host Woody Harrelson. It's called where everybody knows your name and we're back for another season. I'm so excited to be joined this season by friends like John Mulaney, David Spade, Sarah Silver, Ed Helms, and many more. You don't want to miss it. Listen to where everybody knows your name with me, Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes wherever you get your podcasts.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

Hey Scott, everyone. Hope you're doing well. Wanted to know if I am the for telling a hinged date after a hookup that his bathroom was really gross and that if I were to be invited over again, oh wow. I would want that to be clean.

[Stav]

That's awesome. If you want. If you want repeat, go buy some Clorox wipes.

[Marie]

Hey babe, there's a ring around your tongue. Ain't gonna be no ring around your good.

[Stav]

Yeah. If there's a ring around the tub, you're not going to experience the nuver ring inside of me right now.

[Sydney]

Yeah, but it's like if you already went to the to his house, you saw his bathroom and you hooked up with him, you think he going to

[Marie]

give a about he had sex at she had sex and then probably saw the bathroom. Hey, baby, you got a uti. You got to go to the doctor.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah. Also, though, if you're. If you're. If you've gone on a date, it's gone. Well, you're, like, making out or whatever. And then you're like, let me go to the bath. You're already about to fuck. Are you really not gonna fuck because the bathroom's dirty? If the bedroom's nice? You know what I mean? If the rest of his house is clean, Are you really not gonna fuck?

[Marie]

At that point, I was. Remember I went on a date with this guy, or, I mean, date is a loose word. I went to this guy's house, okay?

[Sydney]

And I.

[Marie]

We were talking. We having a good time. He cute. He told he had all his teeth. I was like, is that a washer? Dryer was ready. I go to the bathroom, there was a condom wrapper in. At the. In the top of the trash.

[Stav]

Did he leave by himself?

[Marie]

Yes.

[Stav]

Ah, that's tough.

[Marie]

I said, I got to go. I didn't have sex with him. He didn't need to have sex with me. He just had sex with somebody else.

[Stav]

No, that's different, though. I mean, the bathroom was clean, though, is what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You. You're saying, like, everyone has their deal. What I'm saying is, what if the bathroom was dirty and there's no condom?

[Marie]

And I'm saying, just because you're there doesn't mean you have to have sex.

[Stav]

I know that. I'm saying if.

[Sydney]

Stop.

[Stav]

No, no, don't you try.

[Sydney]

I.

[Stav]

My position. A woman who smiles at you, owes you. That's not what I'm saying, Marie. I'm just saying if I'm putting myself in her shoes when it's like, I've been to a situation where I'm like, I'm having a good time and like, you know, somebody does something off putting or like, you know, one time I was. Went on a date and a girl, moments before, or like, literally, like, I, like we had started hooking up and she said something like, quasi Republican. Oh. And I was like, I'm already. I'm not, I'm not.

[Marie]

She said, america's gonna be even greater.

[Stav]

She said it was like some kind of weird Hillary Clinton jab. And I was like, well, I don't really like her either, but. But it was. It was very, like, I'm very hardcore, like, you know, Republican coded, whatever.

[Sydney]

And then you were like, I'm gonna beat the Republican out of you.

[Stav]

And I was like, no, no, I

[Sydney]

mean like beat that Republican up.

[Marie]

That's what I mean.

[Sydney]

That's what I meant.

[Stav]

Yeah, but, but like look at the. I was already there.

[Marie]

But you're a guy, you're a man.

[Stav]

That's fair. That's fair.

[Marie]

Women don't need too much to feel the ick. And once the ick happens, it's a rap for you.

[Stav]

Sure.

[Sydney]

But I, I would like, don't stop me from doing what I. You know what I mean?

[Stav]

Like if you're, if you're in the zone.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

If you're wanting to, like it depends

[Marie]

on how horny you are. That's what I'm saying.

[Stav]

This girl's probably was saying, in a scenario where you're juiced up, ready to go, are you going to leave?

[Marie]

Cuz she, she said I, she said, am I the for telling him his bathroom is, is gross?

[Stav]

I don't think you're an for that. No.

[Eldis]

We hear her out. She's got a little.

[Stav]

Oh yeah, go ahead.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

I don't know. I know it's tough. Vulnerable subject. And then the guy unmatched me after that and like kind of went cold. Otherwise we had a great time. Time. Am I the. Just move on. Where do I get.

[Stav]

Guys, that's hilarious.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

Does everyone have a gross bathroom?

[Stav]

No.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

I don't know.

[Stav]

Well, hold on. Not now. But you see our apartment 10 years ago.

[Eldis]

Oh yeah, that.

[Stav]

I mean I wasn't, I wasn't. I was playing all the way games back then though. There was no way I was bringing girls back to my windowless room in the corner of the, the living room. I maybe like three girls the whole time and everyone had to leave the apartment.

[Sydney]

But how gross is gross? Because I and this guy later on, later became my boyfriend. But I, I was at this club. I'm blacked out drunk, I'm in espadrilles in a long skirt, Jessica Simpson wig. Yes. I went to brunch and whatnot. And somehow I met him. I'm getting drunk, I'm having pickle box shop shots. I go back to his apartment, we hook up. I wake up in the morning, the bathroom is literally disgusting. It like came out of a like the Candyman, the first one, the movie. It was one of those bathrooms. Then I go into his bedroom, I look up, his ceiling is missing. Half of the ceiling is like, yeah,

[Stav]

that's only for cars, Sydney.

[Sydney]

And then worse, pigeon just hanging out. The worst part about it is he had sheets that were like. I think it was like a 30 thread count 30. Thin, thin.

[Stav]

Like, yeah, yeah. What do you call it? You can file your nails on them.

[Sydney]

You can hard and thin yo polyester freaking sheets.

[Stav]

And this is, by the way, this is why we should all. We shouldn't laugh at sobriety conferences. This is what being black out gets you, by the way.

[Marie]

Right?

[Sydney]

Yeah, right.

[Marie]

No ceiling. Pull up to the house.

[Sydney]

Obviously I couldn't give him a new ceiling, but I was like, you got to get new sheets.

[Stav]

Wait, this was. This was your boyfriend?

[Sydney]

I. He later on become

[Stav]

boyfriend was going bad boy.

[Sydney]

I saw the potential. I said the apartment could get better.

[Marie]

You said it gets great light.

[Stav]

I was like the penis trash.

[Sydney]

You know?

[Stav]

Okay, all right.

[Sydney]

I said it could be better.

[Marie]

And then he did.

[Stav]

He improved.

[Sydney]

Getting a whole new apartment.

[Stav]

Okay, that's good.

[Sydney]

So it was like.

[Marie]

Was he squatting at this point?

[Sydney]

No, no, no.

[Stav]

There was a record running from across the street.

[Sydney]

No, that's another guy.

[Stav]

He was like, don't use the microwave while the TV's on.

[Marie]

He would get mad when she charged her phone.

[Stav]

Cindy, what the.

[Sydney]

Everything we just a few blows because I turned on a blow dryer.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, Hilarious.

[Sydney]

Yeah, that has happened.

[Stav]

But see, that's a good example though. Even though, like, you said something, this guy lived up to that and you guys had a relationship, you were not wrong. Our caller, our lovely caller. You're not the ass. Because you said something about how this guy lived in an unacceptable way. I wouldn't say you're the. But I would say that obviously you're better off. This person wasn't going to change. You know, he unmatched her.

[Marie]

They already hooked up. She said we had a lovely time.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah. And he was like. And he read that. He was like, still hit.

[Marie]

But I hit though. Yeah,

[Stav]

yeah. So you did take a minor L. Here, here. Because you let a man with a disgusting, you know, a disgusting bathroom hit and unmatch. But you know what? You had a good time.

[Sydney]

Maybe she hit and then found out the bathroom. Cuz that's what happened to me.

[Stav]

That's what I'm saying. I do think that's what happened. That's what we think is going on. And even if it wasn't, right, whatever. Who. Honestly, I'm of the position of like, the same way we're applauding female deadbeat moms. There should be girls that are as horny as men that make bad decisions.

[Marie]

There are girls who are as hornies.

[Stav]

And that's what I'm saying. We shouldn't judge. Judge them as we shouldn't judge them for that. That's what I'm saying.

[Marie]

Before you slept with him, before you saw the bathroom, did you check under his nails? Because you are.

[Sydney]

You are.

[Marie]

You are ill. You not the buddy. He probably. He probably.

[Stav]

That is true.

[Marie]

He probably wipes back to front or

[Stav]

rubbing on his own balls. Not an issue for men.

[Marie]

But yes, as I was saying, I was like, is that a thing to do?

[Sydney]

Yeah, yeah, go to the doctor.

[Marie]

It is immediately. You're sick.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Marie]

You're ill. Your vagina is sick.

[Stav]

That's probably true.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

I do think you should probably get

[Sydney]

PH balance all the way off.

[Stav]

Absolutely, yeah.

[Sydney]

Negative.

[Stav]

Various. Yeah. Very acidic right now. Probably. Shit's tasting like a lemon, so maybe some big tomato.

[Sydney]

I'm like. To the tongue, it's pickleback. That's my thing. I'm not mad at that.

[Stav]

All right, what else we got?

[Tattoo Artist Caller]

LD hey, Stavi. Shout out to you. Shout out to the guest. So I've been a Tattoo artist for 28 years. Professionally. I didn't order some crap off Amazon and call myself a pro. I started back when apprenticeships meant you probably got hit if you didn't do what you're supposed to do. Here's the thing. Tattooing has always been, like, a safe haven for counterculture people and things like that. Like that. Well, lately I've been working in a shop now for about four years, and two of the tattoo artists there, out of the four that work, so that's 50%. Two of those tattoo artists have become devout, devout Trumpians. Trump thumpers. One of them wears a 47 hat when they tattoo yada yada. And I gotta say, bro, it's getting to the point where I can't handle it there.

[Stav]

I get that.

[Tattoo Artist Caller]

I don't know what to say do. I didn't vote for Trump. I didn't vote for Kamala. I voted in two presidential cycles because this whole thing is a joke.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Tattoo Artist Caller]

So what would your suggestions be for me? Should I, like, start getting vocal and try to change their minds at the shop? At least shut them down and say, keep your politics the hell out of our counterculture safe haven, or do I just get on the road and get it? Get into a different shop? Let me know, bro. Love you.

[Stav]

Yeah. This is a tough one because. Yeah, what he's saying is, like, tattooing you'd think would be. It's like, it started as, like, literally for criminals who couldn't do anything else, and now it's become like, you know, the fact that there's like, people who just are aligning themselves with, like, fascist. That's. That, that sucks even more than, like, you know, if you're working in finance and everybody's a Republican. Republican. No, you know what I mean? Like, if you're working in certain industries, you know, to expect that. So I don't, I don't know. Like, if this was me, I guess I'm a little confused. Like, is this, Are these people his boss? Are they just his co workers?

[Eldis]

Sounds like co workers. Sounds like two other tattoo guys at the shop.

[Stav]

If they're co workers and you're equals, essentially, it's like you. I think. I don't think there's anything wrong with because, like, look by Stan is like, I don't. I have friends who I have different political beliefs with. I have people that I don't see eye to eye with on everything. But if you right now think the Trump administration is doing a good job, you're fucking brain dead crazy. You're a fucking, like, something is. You're, you're either so stupid that you think Trump, like, you're literally think of Trump as like some sort of God figure, or you're just, you're either racist or you're a fascist or, or you're like, you love that. You know, people are being, you know, they're getting snatched up off the streets that we're starting illegal wars. I don't know what the. You're, you know, I don't know what it is, but it's not good, right? Or you're cynically trying to become like, you know, in entertainment, people are trying to harness the, you know, the. Because whatever you say about them, these people are dumb as. But they're very loyal. So I'm sure there's people, there's people in entertainment right now that are trying to appeal to them. But in, in any case, my stance is if right now you think this administration's doing a good job, you're a fucking idiot. And so, like, it's. We're not. And by the way, I don't, I didn't feel this way during the election, right? Like, people who voted for Trump but now are like, holy fuck, I was duped, I was stupid, whatever. I think we could, you know, I'm not mad at, I mean, I think it's a very regrettable voting for him. I think you're probably pretty dumb to fall for it in the first place. But we can build off that, right? We can get people who like, are like, oh, I fucked up and I don't want my country to, to be like this. Right. So I think there's nothing wrong with you being vocal about that in your shop in a thing that you. He's been tattooing for, what do you say, 30 years? I don't know how long he's been. Did he say how long he was at this shop?

[Eldis]

Four years.

[Stav]

Four years. I guess, you know, are those guys more senior than him? I don't know. Did you accidentally join like a sort of like crypto fascist tattoo shop? Because that also has happened too. Let's not be. Let's be honest. There are tattooers who are like that, like, but I guess that's my thing. If you feel like these people are kind of ruining your community and like up a place that you helped build and helped see as a counterculture, like, safe, safe place, I don't think there's anything wrong with you being vocal now. Are you going to change their minds? Probably not. But it's good for you to sort of just take a stance. And I think all we can hope for these people is that like, they understand that they are pariahs, that they need to feel that. And I think like, and I do think like the only entertainment is pretty powerless against some of the biggest. If we're being honest, we're pretty powerless against really stopping wars and shit like that. But what we can do is make a song.

[Marie]

Yeah, but there comes a time.

[Stav]

But no, like, I think a lot of, I really think a lot of entertainers have very cowardly taken the stance of like, hey, everybody buys tickets, right? Or like people, artists have become so, so financially and like, like, like fame hungry even more than ever, so willing to sell out that they don't want to offend anyone that could put money or fame in their pocket. And that's cowardice. And I think we need to move away from that cowardice. And all we can do is say like, hey, anyone who acts this way, I don't want in my community. It's not, it's. Is it a symbolic gesture? I don't know. But it's better than nothing, right? It's better than being like, let's ignore all of this. And I could say if somebody was saying, you know, like, there are comedians who have these beliefs and if I was on a show with them, I would make fun of them for being stupid. That's what I can do. Right, Right.

[Marie]

And you can do.

[Stav]

What you can do is make, make people who, you know, like, who come into your shop feel more welcome by being like, I mean, at the same time, a lot of people are getting tattoos with this, wearing a Trump hat. So he must be nice. He must be really good. He must. He must have clean lines. Lines.

[Marie]

Nah, Lions is dirty.

[Stav]

Great shading. You know what I mean?

[Sydney]

That. He didn't vote for the last.

[Marie]

He didn't vote for the last two elections and now he wants to change his mind. Baby. Change your mind.

[Stav]

Yeah, I will. Listen, I, I do understand people who, if you don't live in a. I'll be. I didn't vote for Kamala because I live in New York. And I thought, I thought the Democrats were being very cowards about Palestine. I think, like, I didn't think that the, I mean, the Biden administration. Administration didn't really behave that much differently on the border as Trump won. I had real problems with com and I thought the Democrats sort of. They didn't have a, they should have had a fucking open primary. They basically told us who the president, who our candidate was going to be, and if I lived in a swing state, yes, I would have voted for Kamala. Right.

[Marie]

So.

[Sydney]

But wait, did you. So who did you vote for?

[Stav]

I just didn't vote for anybody for president. I voted for. I voted for local, you know, my local elections. And that was more symbolic because I knew, knew they were going to win New York anyway. If I lived in Ohio, if I lived in Florida, I probably, I would have probably voted Democrat. I would have. And this guy, you know, I do get it. I do think you guys are right, that it's like, you know, but I do think that's the thing is like, we are so far away from normal politics that even people who are completely apolitical see this as a fucking cancer in our culture. And I don't. You know, I think now's the time to kind of use. Unite everyone from. Even if they weren't political, even if, Even if they were Republic, even if they were like, even if they were Trump voters the first time, right now is the time for all of us to be like, we really don't want to live in this country. This is not what we want our country to be.

[Marie]

America is in its flop era.

[Stav]

It's re flopping. China's got it. China's going to catch us.

[Marie]

Yeah, but I'm about to start learning Chinese on my duo linguistics.

[Stav]

Yeah, throw Mandarin on there for sure.

[Sydney]

But also, it's like, I'm not also spending the last of my years trying to educate these, these and beg and plead these people for sure to be on the right Side because they don't want to. Like, they have all the information. This is what they want to do. And so it's like, what are we doing here? These people have all of the information that they see what's going on? Are your eyes closed?

[Stav]

But I think our. There's a difference between our caller who, like, who just, like, even people like our caller who's like, look, I don't want anything to do with. There's a difference between, like, not being involved with politics and actively in this moment in time being like, Trump's the man. Right.

[Marie]

Wearing that hat to work is, hey, we don't do politics here. Take that off.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Marie]

You walk by him and he's tattooing. Just flip it off.

[Stav]

Yeah. Move his arm a little bit. Fuck up the fucking person's tattoo.

[Marie]

Be like, no regerts.

[Sydney]

Yeah, but you can't say you're not into politics and live in America and have all the rights that you have. That. That's. That's politics. That's what it is. You can't. You can't remove yourself from it and be like, oh, I don't want to get in, evolve. When it's like, you are benefiting from being in America.

[Stav]

So, yeah, I. I agree that I do think. When I do think, particularly in this moment in time, people being like, both sides are crazy. They're out of their mind. They're like, that we're done with centrist bullshit. That's not going to save America. Right. And I agree with you. I just think, like, for our caller, like, this is your time to, like, do something different, to be, like, to show that you're. This isn't acceptable for you. And then if you do leave now, maybe focus on, like, yeah, making a shop that actively is counterculture, that is actively, you know, trying to be a place for immigrants. You know, like, you know, LGBT people, like, just accepting of everybody.

[Marie]

Who is he giving tattoos to?

[Sydney]

ICE agents.

[Stav]

It is interesting. Like, who does he tattoo? I mean, honestly. Yeah, yeah. ICE agents do need to fucking have, you know, a horrible cross on their arm or whatever the fuck.

[Sydney]

Yeah. Do their shit wrong.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah. There's people. There are definitely racist. Love tattoos. So it's like. But. But that's the thing, man. This actually, Sydney's. I think you are very right where it's like, I think what we're learning now and what I hope is that, like, people. People should understand that there really is no neutral here. There's like, make a difference or you're helping or. Or just, like, you're helping, and it's not even a big difference, but it's just like, do something, you know? And so I think now's a. A good chance for you to be like, what kind of shop do I want to be in? Right. You can't. You're not going to stop this person from being a idiot. But can you. Can you take this and on your neck, like, if you start a new job, you're at a new place and you just don't really. You're not actively helping. This is a moment for you to be like, all right, I'm going to fucking try and, like, balance the universe a little bit and do a shop that actively courts counterculture. Actively courts misfits. Actively is. Isn't, you know, racist sex, whatever that movement is.

[Marie]

So I wonder what city he's in.

[Stav]

That's interesting. We can look up his area code, but that doesn't usually.

[Marie]

My mind is like, Portland.

[Stav]

That doesn't usually tell that. He could be anywhere. Like, I have my Baltimore.

[Sydney]

He could be anywhere.

[Stav]

You know what I mean?

[Sydney]

He could literally be anywhere.

[Eldis]

This actually is very interesting. Gives it some good context and I guess we could bleep it.

[Stav]

He's. Oh, okay, that makes sense. Again. But again, he could. He could just not be there, right? Like, yeah, So I don't know. Yeah, his phone's from there.

[Sydney]

There's a lot of the altitude where a lot of oxygen is.

[Stav]

Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Yeah, maybe there's thinner. Makes you racist.

[Marie]

Yeah, thin air makes you racist.

[Sydney]

That's what I heard.

[Stav]

Yeah. So, yeah, dude, do that. But I. That's got. That does have to be annoying. I mean, yeah, tattoos, it's like. It is people that just, like, have markings on their faces. People who could never have another job. So. But yeah, dude, I think that's how you handle it personally. It's like, start being more vocal. Be like, this is unacceptable. Which, again, I would do. I personally, I do think that is unacceptable. And I do think it's corny.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

When. When people are. Especially comedians are pro Trump right now. But yeah, I think that's what you can do. And then, yeah, if you have.

[Sydney]

Because their lights are on, though. Their lights are on. They're like, yeah, I'm not on the right side. But look. Look at all the money I got. There's a lot of people who. Who are on the. The side. So you're supposed to be on. Hey, man Con is about to get cut off.

[Stav]

Yeah.

[Sydney]

You know that they're not getting any tickets. Like, people are not showing up. But as soon as they're being an activist.

[Marie]

Well, because that's the thing. The people who are like, pro Trump are loud about it and people support them. The people who are not Trump are afraid that people aren't going to buy tickets to their thing. So they're quiet about.

[Stav]

I don't know. The middleman is like, I do think artists in general know. It's like, we got to stop being. Too many artists have started thinking like business people first. And it's like, that's still. I kind of feel like this tattoo guy, where it's like, the whole point is we did this because we didn't want real jobs.

[Marie]

Right.

[Stav]

It's not to like. Like, I really. Look, I've been. I'm very happy with the success. It's awesome. I like fucking not worrying about money. But it's like, I did this so I wouldn't have to have a fucking job. I'm not going to, like, try and get as rich. I just think too many artists worry about getting as rich and as famous as possible. And it's like, if you're able to have a good living off your. Your art, that's all you need to do. That's the goal. And then you can actually. What's the stuff that made you passionate about art? You know what I mean? Like, do you want to say something?

[Marie]

People lose track of that after a while. You know what I mean?

[Stav]

Yeah, that's true.

[Marie]

And we living in a time where everybody wants to be famous for being famous.

[Sydney]

Everybody.

[Marie]

Everybody wants to be famous for being famous.

[Sydney]

They've lost the plot, honey.

[Marie]

Well, do you have a skill?

[Stav]

No. Do you have anything you want to say? No. Do you have a skill you want to develop? There's none of that.

[Sydney]

Do you have a hobby? Can you read?

[Stav]

No.

[Sydney]

No. Like, it's just like.

[Marie]

Like, I'm on Twitch, though.

[Stav]

No. And it's like, okay, yeah, no, but I can do a Get Ready With Me. Yeah. But I can do a couple Get Ready with Me videos. That's it. Anyway. Yeah, good luck, I guess. I don't fucking know.

[Marie]

You got to get a new job, babe.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

Yeah. Start a cooler tattoo shop. I don't know what to tell you.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Stav]

You got a quick one, a fun one for us to go out on, Mr. Eldis?

[Eldis]

Yeah, let's. Let's give the women out there a little hope here.

[Marie]

Okay.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

Hi.

[Stav]

Stavy, baby.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

First time, Long time. I am currently listening to the bonus episode 179 and it's the last Call the caller. And the lovely fellow 36G Baddy just called in and is worried about losing her nice tits with getting on the weight loss meds. Now, we're all different, but I want to tell you guys, I'm on. I'm a fellow deathbound baddie and I've lost some weight. I lost a little bit of my ass, which that's sad, but, but I am happy to report after losing about 40 pounds, my 36 GS are still very much intact. So like you were saying on the pod, it is worth it for the health benefits. And you know, some of us lucky gals out here might just get to keep our gigantic tits. So say yes to drugs, I guess, in this case.

[Marie]

Anyway.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

Love you. Thanks.

[Stav]

Here's the thing. I, I, I want to believe you, but you know, you could be lying. Do you have any proof? Yeah.

[Marie]

Where to prove attachment?

[Sydney]

36 jeans.

[Marie]

You should have sent 36p.

[Sydney]

We're, you know, respectfully, we'll look at

[Stav]

them and yeah, we'll look at them just to verify what you're saying is true. Not for horny reasons, but also.

[Marie]

Is that true? You lost your ass, but the titties are the same size.

[Sydney]

There was not much ass to begin with. Maybe that.

[Stav]

Yeah, it's possible that she just realized it's possible ass.

[Marie]

This whole.

[Stav]

Yeah, it's quite possible.

[Marie]

Twist. You ain't got.

[Stav]

But here's the good news. You can, you can build an ass in the gym. You can't really build titties in the gym.

[Marie]

No. You build pecks.

[Stav]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yes, that's wonderful news. Get on drugs, you'll keep your fat, juicy tits. Hopefully. Gals, thank you so much for coming. It's always, it's all. You're the best on a Sunday, fresh from church. They took, they took Marie's dad's bends here. They drove it here.

[Marie]

This is my Jesus money.

[Stav]

Go see Sydney in Edinburgh.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Stav]

When Marie's Tubi show comes out, which we are big Tubi fans here, huge. I'm. I literally was. I didn't know. I, I literally didn't know that. And I was thinking, like, I was like, I kind of want to make a, A lowbudget indie movie and put it on Tubi direction directly. I kind of want to do like,

[Marie]

I was thinking that I'm an influencer.

[Stav]

I love. I think that's the way shit's going. I think it is. I really think so.

[Marie]

It's there. Or YouTube.

[Stav]

Absolutely. Kristen Stewart just said she wanted to make a movie and put it on YouTube. And I kind of know what she's talking about. I think like we now people want like I people just want people to see their stuff.

[Sydney]

That's it.

[Stav]

And there's. Watch it. Yeah.

[Marie]

So and as it does, well, you know, the ad dollars will.

[Caller with 23andMe story]

Will roll.

[Stav]

Yeah, whatever.

[Marie]

But totally everyone has access to. To be. Everyone has access to YouTube.

[Sydney]

And that's what it's really about.

[Marie]

YouTube.

[Stav]

YouTubies. Let's get them together. That's beautiful.

[Sydney]

Yes.

[Stav]

Wow.

[Marie]

Access.

[Sydney]

Access to, you know, all of the art. Access to health care. Access to abortion. Clean bathrooms.

[Stav]

Yeah, clean bathrooms. Absolutely. That's a beautiful utopia we would all like to live in someday.

[Marie]

Clean bathrooms and big titties.

[Stav]

Very important stuff. We'll see you next time. Bye Bye.

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[Stav]

allegedly true stories about the paranormal, then you should summon the population podcast Scared to Death. It's the popular horror series with more than 60 million downloads to its name and is co hosted by me, Dan

[Sydney]

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[Stav]

designed to make you want to sleep with the lights on. Think you can handle the horror? Tune in to Scared to Death every

[Sydney]

Tuesday at the stroke of midnight to find out.