#190 - Stef Dag and Gabby Bryan

Summary

Stavvy’s World Ep. 190: Stef Dag and Gabby Bryan

Date: July 20, 2026
Host: Stavros Halkias (Stavi)
Guests: Stef Dag, Gabby Bryan

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Episode Overview

In this lively, candid, and hilariously meandering episode, Stavros Halkias welcomes comedians Stef Dag and Gabby Bryan for a classic group hang in the “new studio.” The trio swap stories about childhood trauma, Eastern European family dynamics, self-image, dating, “peptide wellness,” and address listener voicemails with their signature blend of bluntness, empathy, and chaotic humor. The episode covers topics ranging from eating disorders and family dysfunction to relationship red flags, female friendship, and the intricacies of men’s poker night etiquette.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Exchanges

1. Catching Up, Ethnic Dynamics, and Self-Deprecation (01:30–08:03)

• Opening Banter: Gabby and Stef rib Stavros (and each other) about their complexions, referencing their backgrounds (Croatian, Polish-Jewish) and riffing on cultural identity.
  • Gabby: “Usually you’re a different color than me because you’re Croatian.” (02:25)
  • Stavi: “Glowing, metaphorically. I was saying it seems like you’re in a good place in your life.” (03:08)
  • Playful, escalating roast of each other’s sunburns and features.
• Hospital/Braces/Illness Fantasies: Stef admits to pretending to need braces and faking illnesses as a way to get attention as a kid.
  • Stef: “I used to do that with Sharpie growing up. As well as wear fake braces… I always pretended I had a broken arm and stuff.” (05:38)
  • Leads to a “Gypsy Rose” joke.

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2. Eating Disorders, Family Dynamics, and Parental Reactions (07:00–14:00)

• Raw Talk on Eating Disorders: Stef describes her decade-long struggle with bulimia, revealing the complex motivations and lack of “results,” humorously admitting neither bulimia nor cocaine made her thinner.
  • Stef: “Here’s the thing about bulimia and doing cocaine — neither made me skinny.” (07:41)
  • Stavi: “Are you kidding me?”
  • Stef: “No, it’s not for me. When I was doing cocaine, I was like, the fattest I’ve ever been.” (07:47)
• Family Reactions: Both joke about neglectful, dramatic, or odd parental responses.
  • Stef: “Eventually someone told my mom and then she, like, went on like a PR campaign and told all her friends… tried to get attention for it, like holding a gun to each other.” (09:04)
  • Stavi: “Foreign moms… that’s a type of four mom that, like, cry about how hard it is for them.” (09:22)
• Comparing Parental Favoritism: Stef contrasts her mother’s responses to her and her brother’s misbehavior, highlighting an extreme double standard.
  • Stef: “My brother can do no wrong. My mom would find like weed in my brother’s bed… and then I would like have a stain in my bed and she’d be like, this is heroin’s thing.” (12:04)

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3. Dating, Body Image, and Short King Debates (14:07–17:17)

• On Dating Shorter Men: Extended bit about height, “short kings,” and shifting standards.
  • Stavi: “For the purposes of conversation. Five seven is tall. Five six, short.” (14:37)
  • Gabby: “I couldn’t disagree more. I think that’s tiny as hell.” (14:53)
  • Height discourse leads to playful banana milk gags about Gabby’s skinny upbringing.
  • Stavi: “Somebody get her a banana milk to quiet her down.” (15:09)

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4. Childhood Activities, Gymnastics Trauma, and Eastern European Upbringing (18:28–21:14)

• Gymnastics Weigh-Ins: Stef recounts the traumatizing, body-shaming practices in junior Olympic gymnastics.
  • Stef: “And they would whis… weigh you… I was a skinny, tall girl.” (18:43)
  • Panel jokes about “hog buttons,” how adults mess kids up.
• Transition to Cheerleading and Injury: Stef’s back problems and injuries, with a running joke about her chaotic family life.
  • Stavi: “When was the first good year of your life?” (21:07)
  • Stef: “Honestly… like 2020…” (21:14)

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5. Peptide/WelIness Drug Mania & Internet Dating (34:53–39:04)

• The Peptide Era: Gabby details her intense “Peptide Princess” regimen, including buying black-market peptides from a dealer in Arizona, humorously motivated by New Jersey “culture.”
  • Gabby: “I’m on several different ones… doing multiple jabs… I line them up, take one by one, right in the side of my ass.” (36:09–36:21)
  • Stavi: “So you're not actually… are you not actually have a sunburn?” (36:39)
  • Leads to a discussion about seeking enhancement, botched priorities, and family generational cycles.
• Online Dating and DMs: Gabby gets “cool guys” in her DMs, notably including a recent date with a guy who was in jail and read “Twilight” while incarcerated.
  • Gabby: “Everyone… when he was in jail, they were all reading the Twilight saga.” (24:12)
  • Stavi: “Did the date go well?”
  • Gabby: “Yeah, we're kind of seeing each other.” (24:56)

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6. The Astrology and “Manifestation” Bit (33:44–35:35)

• Stef recounts advice from a tarot reader about her “Aries, rich, entertainment industry” soulmate; Stavi and Gabby riff on astrology, signs, and why “your life is bad.”
  • Stef: “I had a tarot card reader the other day tell me that I am going to meet my man soon. He’s going to be an Aries… very, very rich.” (33:44)
  • Stavi: “This is why your life’s bad, by the way…” (33:07)

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7. Executive Dysfunction and Millennial Chaos (44:23–46:06)

• Career Vs. Life Skills: Stef, youngest director at Conde Nast, confesses to being highly accomplished but “fully retarded” at life logistics, like booking seats on planes or filing taxes.
  • Gabby: “She was the youngest director Conde Nasten. We'd go on a trip and her plane. She wouldn't pick a seat on the plane.” (44:52)
• Financial Mayhem & Mom’s Boyfriend Drama: Stef’s mom’s boyfriend breaks up with her after a tax S corp catastrophe.
  • Stef: “My mom… opened it wrong and she didn’t fill out the right paperwork. I'm being fined. I don't know. And he dumped her.” (43:19)

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8. International Travels, Partying, and Getting Sick Abroad (54:04–55:05)

• Party Hospitalization: Stef always “ends up at a hospital in Europe.” Gabby claims Stef insists she’ll party, but always gets strep on day two.
  • Gabby: “Anytime we go to Europe, Steph acts like she’s like, oh, I'm partying. I'm partying. No, she gets strep. Day two.” (54:15)
  • Leads to joking about carrying smuggled Mexican antibiotics.

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9. Relationship Advice: Listener Voicemails (57:07–128:02)

a. Cheating, Open Relationships, and Emotional Abuse (57:07–74:14)

• Summary: A woman married 12 years asks if her husband will ever be satisfied after infidelity, open relationship pressure, and manipulative emotional feedback.
  • Gabby: “I would genuinely… poison and murder this man.” (60:17)
  • Steph: “This is emotional abuse.” (61:40)
  • Stavi: “You break up with that guy. You just say, oh, this… you gave him a second shot… it’s like millennial rebranding, cheating.” (62:27/63:07)
  • Consensus: This is a “lost cause” relationship; emotional abuse; seek your own therapist and get out.

b. Secret Nerd Hobbies/Financial Secrecy (76:37–91:36)

• Caller: Hides “figurine” purchases from wife; wonders if it’s really so bad.
  • Steph: “It’s giving autism. I mean, it sounds like he has autism, right?” (80:12)
  • Gabby: “Be a dork. Being a dork is cute.” (85:03)
  • Advice: Stop hiding, free yourself from shame, put budget limits, and be open about your hobbies.

c. Defining Relationship Timelines & Age Gaps (91:43–106:42)

• Caller: Asks how long until “boyfriend/girlfriend” talk, especially when dating an older man.
  • Gabby: “I think you know immediately if this man is going to be your boyfriend. And then slowly you collect data…” (93:34)
  • Steph: “If he doesn't know by 2 months… you could be like, so, what's going on here?” (97:42)
  • Stavi: “I like when somebody has that conversation because then… we can just be on the same page.” (101:18)
  • Advice: You can have the conversation a month or two in. It’s OK to want clarity.

d. Poker Night as Boys’ Safe Space – No Girls Allowed? (112:04–127:00)

• Caller: Wants to deny a wife attendance at boys’ poker night.
  • Stavi: “What are you gonna issue a memorandum? All poker nights going forward…?” (113:20)
  • Mixed advice: Poker precedent has been set—too late to turn back. Consider rebranding “boys’ night” around a different activity and let poker go co-ed.
  • Steph: “They basically need to make a fake poker night.” (123:52)

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Notable Quotes

• On Self-Image:
  • Stavi: “My whole life is like tricking people into thinking everything is a little better than it is with personality.” (16:03)
• On Parental Dysfunction:
  • Stef: “My mom would find like weed in my brother’s bed… I’d have a stain in my bed and she’d be like, this is heroin's thing.” (12:04)
• On Hyper-Productivity but Low Function:
  • Steph: “I have two 401ks… don’t know how to get access… running businesses. But, like… how.” (44:27)
• On Modern Wellness:
  • Gabby: “I'm a Peptide princess. I’m on several… doing multiple jabs… line them up, right in the side of my ass.” (36:09)
• On Relationship Dynamics:
  • Gabby: “I would genuinely… poison and murder this man.” (60:17)
  • Steph: “Never stay together for the kids. I’ve never understood that.” (61:46)
• On Nerd Shame:
  • Gabby: “Being a dork is cute. Remove shame.” (85:03)
• On Dating Older Men:
  • Steph: “If he doesn’t know by 2 months… ask what’s going on.” (97:46)
• On Poker Night Inclusivity:
  • Stavi: “Poker precedent has been set—you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.” (114:56)

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Recurring Themes & Running Gags

• Eastern European Chaos: The guests and Stavi repeatedly reference the unpredictability and dysfunction of their upbringing.
• Height and Body Image: “Short king” discourse, eating disorders, and cosmetic interventions (Peptides).
• Hyper-Competence vs. Chaos: Stef’s juxtaposition of career accomplishment with personal and financial disorder.
• Intergenerational Trauma: Family addiction, eating issues, and how parents affect adult relationships.
• Self-Roasting: As always, everyone is self-deprecating, especially about “mental wellness,” age, and personal choices.
• Dating Scenarios: Deep dives into relationship red flags with real (and sometimes darkly comic) advice.
• Peptides and New Jersey: Recurring “Peptide princess” and “it’s just Jersey” energy.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening/Catching Up & Identity Banter — [01:30–05:56]
• Eating Disorders & Family Dynamics — [07:00–14:11]
• Short King & Dating Bits — [14:07–17:17]
• Gymnastics, Weigh-Ins, Trauma — [18:28–21:14]
• Peptides, DMs, and Wellness Extremes — [34:53–39:04]
• Parent-Boyfriend/Tax Chaos — [43:02–46:06]
• Listener Call #1 (Cheating Husband) — [57:07–74:14]
• Listener Call #2 (Secret Figurine Addiction) — [76:37–91:36]
• Listener Call #3 (Boyfriend Timelines) — [91:43–106:42]
• Listener Call #4 (Poker Night Debate) — [112:04–127:00]
• Outro/Plugs/Debrief — [107:01–110:45]

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Final Thoughts & Tone

Raw, fast-paced, and darkly self-aware, this episode illustrates why Stavvy’s World resonates with its audience: brutally honest but deeply familiar discussions about modern life, relationships, and insecurities—always spiked with laughter, sharp insight, and zero illusions.

“If you're watching this, we want to be love bombed. Please, please.” — Gabby & Stef (96:26)

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Plugs

• Gabby & Stef’s new podcast: “I'll Go If You Go” launching soon on Dear Media, plus an 8-episode UK travel series.
• Both guests on tour: see social media for live dates.

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For fans of blunt, therapy-adjacent, painfully relatable group chat energy — this episode is a must.

Transcript

[Steph]

You're more than just one thing. And your vehicle should have more too.

[Gabby]

More connectivity when you're the boss. Hey Google, when's my next meeting? More space when you're the ringleader and we're good.

[Steph]

And when you're the mom. Everyone in the all new Mazda CX5 more to move every side of you. Learn [e-mail] Google is a trademark of Google LLC.

[Gabby]

Sequences shortened and simulated.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Join me Cyndi Lauper with chef Michelle

[Eldis]

Bernstein and Dr. Panico to talk about psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis, the potential connection and risk of developing permanent joint damage.

[Steph]

Cosentic Secukinumab is prescribed for adults with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis, 300 milligram dose and adults with active psoriatic arthritis, 150 milligram dose. Don't use if you're allergic to Cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal or viral infections, some are fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough had a vaccine or planned to, or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-844-cosentyx or cosentyx.com Cindy

[Eldis]

welcome, everybody, to Stavis World, 904-800. Stop. Call us on the Stavis World hotline, brought to you by our pals Invisible, and we'll solve all your problems. Now let me change my clothing real fast and introduce our guests. Hey, maybe we'll play the theme music again. Welcome, Everybody, to Stavley's World, 900-4800, stuff. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We're back in the new studio, returning to the couch. We have Gabby, Brian and Steph Dag. How are we doing, gals?

[Gabby]

Hello.

[Steph]

Awesome.

[Eldis]

Good. Really, really good. Yeah, I like that you're both glowing. You seem like you're having a great time.

[Gabby]

Yeah, we both are.

[Eldis]

Kind of.

[Gabby]

Are you having a tan or are you tan?

[Eldis]

You're not? Let me stop you right there. You're not tan. I'm a little pale.

[Steph]

I'm a little pale. And you probably got a spray tan in the last month, so we've kind of arrived in the center.

[Gabby]

Usually you're a different color than me because you're Croatian.

[Eldis]

Right?

[Gabby]

Which is a black person of color and say it.

[Steph]

A person of color for the Balins.

[Eldis]

To a rich girl from New Jersey, that counts as black.

[Caller]

Right.

[Eldis]

I'm her gypsy for specifically to your parents.

[Gabby]

But I'm so white. So usually you're such a different color that now we're sort of meeting in the middle, which makes me feel black

[Steph]

and I feel bad.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You're Benjamin Buttoning. And I. Let me just go ahead. Don't. You should not feel that way. That's you. Maybe. Maybe the furthest from possibly. And you're just talking pure tone here. Right?

[Gabby]

Right.

[Eldis]

I would say red.

[Steph]

She's the furthest from black.

[Eldis]

I would say pretty red.

[Gabby]

Sort of the opposite side of the color wheel.

[Eldis]

I was saying glowing. Metaphorically. I was saying it seems like you're in a good place in your life. Yeah.

[Steph]

So you think we're ugly?

[Gabby]

Pregnant.

[Eldis]

No, no, no.

[Steph]

You think we're ugly and pregnant. So what are you.

[Gabby]

When you look at us, what are you seeing?

[Eldis]

Yeah. I guess if I really had to. Yeah, I guess ugly and pregnant is right. Faces for busted.

[Steph]

The cameras are off. Cameras are off.

[Eldis]

Two different styles of busted gals. If you really got to know. I was trying to be polite and give you a compliment.

[Gabby]

I think you're both ugly.

[Steph]

I do think you're both ugly. It's the truth.

[Eldis]

No, no. I think you have a. I. You're a fair skinned person who was at the beach yesterday.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And it didn't seem like you hit the SPF as hard as you should have.

[Gabby]

Right.

[Eldis]

But not in a bad way. Right. You know, I think Burnt. You're a little burnt. But you're gonna be over it. And you're gonna look beautiful tomorrow.

[Steph]

You just have blush on.

[Eldis]

No, no, no. That's kind of sad that she's your best friend and I.

[Steph]

Because you always have like a rosacea thing as well. All right.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Hell yeah.

[Gabby]

All right.

[Eldis]

Turn them against me. Call them ugly. Watch them fight. Watch them try and prove who's the less ugly one.

[Gabby]

I get it. I have a pink face and you guys won't shut the up about it.

[Eldis]

That is true. We are too you to Eastern Europeans here.

[Gabby]

Yes. And I'm jealous.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I'm Polish. Isn't that Eastern European?

[Steph]

But you're a Jew.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Wow.

[Eldis]

Someone really started getting Croatian. Someone really had to prove their Croatian.

[Gabby]

But you're a Jew. So you're actually from nowhere.

[Steph]

But you're not welcome anywhere.

[Gabby]

Right?

[Eldis]

You understand that you kind of do have like the DNA type of the people going to Israel and getting sunburned. You know what I mean? Like Polish Jews are like, we're from here. And then they like are allergic to the pollen and they're just red all the time.

[Gabby]

Yeah, that's exactly.

[Eldis]

You would do really poorly, you know, in Israel. Hopefully for multiple reasons. You know, hopefully for moral as well as suntan reasons.

[Gabby]

I love it here, but it's a little hot.

[Eldis]

Everything else, they're doing great.

[Caller]

Great.

[Steph]

No notes.

[Eldis]

It's just a little hot.

[Gabby]

But I'm schmitzing. I did do a fake freckle today. Have you heard of this?

[Eldis]

Oh, I like that.

[Gabby]

You like that?

[Eldis]

I'm a fan of freckles and I don't see why those who don't have them naturally can't cosplay a little freckling every once in a while.

[Gabby]

Yeah. What you do is it's like a dark pen and they go like this and you go.

[Steph]

I used to do that with Sharpie growing up. As well as wear a fake braces, I would. I would bend my fake braces. I would bend my bangles and put them in my teeth and I always pretended I had a broken arm and stuff.

[Eldis]

Wow. Are you jealous of me right now?

[Steph]

Yeah, I have like a hospital fantasy.

[Gabby]

This culture is not your costume.

[Steph]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

Did you have. So you kind of were like your own Gypsy Rose. Like you're Gypsy Rose's mom too.

[Steph]

I was just Gypsy.

[Eldis]

First of all.

[Steph]

My culture is Gypsy.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Steph]

Wait, you do have.

[Gabby]

You do have kind of a schizophrenic theme throughout your life. Like in college, you did tell everyone your name was Dakota.

[Steph]

I changed my name to Dakota.

[Eldis]

And this before Dakota Johnson. Right?

[Steph]

This was before Dakota. This is D. Right before.

[Eldis]

Oh, Dakota Fanning.

[Steph]

Shout out.

[Eldis]

Shout out to Dakota.

[Steph]

Shout out. I told everyone in school I had stomach cancer as well. What?

[Gabby]

Whoa.

[Eldis]

You love detention. No, this is stomach cancer. That's like the most fatal one. One like you even make up, one that you could recover from.

[Steph]

I'm a miracle. I'm a walking miracle.

[Eldis]

You could have said melanoma. Put a band aid on prostate cancer. Okay, interesting. Hold on. We're going to take these one at a time.

[Gabby]

Right?

[Eldis]

Grade school braces. Did you want them? Were you jealous of those with braces?

[Steph]

Yeah, I just like wanted something wrong with me.

[Gabby]

Oh, interesting.

[Steph]

You know what I mean? Like, I just like wanted something to be wrong with me. So then I developed an eating disorder. Cuz that one I could be in control.

[Eldis]

Right, right, right.

[Gabby]

It's one of the easiest things you could develop.

[Steph]

It's eas. It's not hard well, it takes a little bit to get into it. How so you got to figure out how to make yourself throw up.

[Eldis]

Oh, yeah. See, I. As a little fat kid who loved food so much but felt like everyone was mad at me for being fat.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I tried. I literally tried to like throw hard. And I was like, this is hard. I'm just going to keep eating. It's hard.

[Steph]

Your blood vessels pop in your face.

[Eldis]

I. But when I heard about it, I was like, loophole.

[Steph]

Yeah, it's kind of. It's kind of the perfect thing.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Steph]

Cuz you.

[Eldis]

But then it's really not. It's really bad for you.

[Caller 2]

And I hope.

[Eldis]

I hope you didn't do it that long.

[Gabby]

No, it was the first decade.

[Steph]

It was a decade. But. But I didn't make me skinny.

[Gabby]

What did it do?

[Steph]

Here's the thing. Here's the thing about bulimia and doing cocaine. Neither made me skinny.

[Eldis]

Are you kidding me?

[Steph]

No, it's not for me. When I was doing cocaine, I was like the fattest I've ever been. I was living in Argentina. It was $7 a bag. I was chubby.

[Eldis]

Okay, well, I think you might have gotten some stepped on stuff, maybe.

[Gabby]

Stepped on.

[Steph]

It was pretty good.

[Eldis]

So you're not. And you're what, studying abroad in Argentina?

[Steph]

I was studying abroad in Argentina, Okay.

[Eldis]

Hell yeah.

[Steph]

Yeah. Getting fat.

[Eldis]

Getting fed off. What?

[Steph]

The local cuisine is a steak, I suppose.

[Eldis]

Well, is it a big steak culture?

[Caller]

I don't know.

[Steph]

I was drinking a lot. Right. I was fully drinking a bottle of wine a day.

[Gabby]

It was that.

[Eldis]

Were you like, sick as a really little kid? And it felt awesome to like, get your mom to care for you. So you were like, I want this.

[Steph]

Well, I think I. I think I wanted them to care for. I would purposely be bulimic so close to my mom's room. Be like. And then come out and be like. That was crazy. And my mom was like, good night.

[Eldis]

Keep it down. Next time.

[Steph]

Keep it down.

[Gabby]

Very loud in the bathroom.

[Cyndi Lauper]

It's not.

[Gabby]

It's not good.

[Eldis]

I'm trying to watch SVU in here.

[Gabby]

I need to puke in the bathroom. Please leave the bathroom so I could do this. Yeah. It's kind of your culture.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Never caught. Never did a parent catch on.

[Caller]

No. And that.

[Steph]

No. And then eventually, eventually someone told my mom and then she, like, went on like a PR campaign and told all her friends. Like, I just found out that my daughters believe me, like, tried to get attention for it, like holding a gun to each other.

[Gabby]

Like, it's Like Russian nesting.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Steph]

I was like, what the hell?

[Eldis]

So true. Foreign moms, like, that's a type of four mom that, like, cry about how hard it is for them.

[Steph]

Yeah. And then my dad, who's a nutcase and was a drug addict at the time, took me out to dinner, and he was like. So I tried that belief thing, and I was like, what?

[Eldis]

Your dad's trying to relate to you.

[Steph]

He was like.

[Gabby]

He was like.

[Steph]

I was brushing my teeth, and I was like, I ate a lot today,

[Cyndi Lauper]

and I kind of.

[Steph]

And he's like, pretty good.

[Eldis]

No way.

[Gabby]

No way.

[Steph]

Yes.

[Eldis]

You stood no chance. You stood no chance. That's. Were they together at the time?

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Steph]

Legally speaking. Legally speaking.

[Eldis]

Interesting.

[Steph]

All right, so that was super vulnerable.

[Gabby]

Have you grown up recently?

[Steph]

No, I don't.

[Gabby]

I can't.

[Steph]

No, I can't do it anymore.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Eldis]

It is. It is insane, the number of girls who, like, just grow up with, like, a specific. Like, whether it's anorexia or bulimia. And it's like, how bad that your.

[Steph]

I don't know, a single one who hasn't.

[Eldis]

Right. Had that nothing for you, and now

[Gabby]

it feels like I'm shoving it in your face.

[Eldis]

No, no, it's okay.

[Steph]

And I'm.

[Gabby]

I raised a hand, and then I bailed. I'm like this.

[Eldis]

Oh, I had it.

[Steph]

Gabby, you've had an eating disorder. I've been friends with you for 10 years.

[Gabby]

Yeah, you were like.

[Steph]

You were, like, vegan. You were, like, vegan. You were one of those eating disorders.

[Eldis]

Oh, yeah.

[Gabby]

No, I've starved myself in a playful way in adulthood.

[Eldis]

No, you. You really, for sure had one.

[Gabby]

But in high school. No.

[Eldis]

In high school. No. Okay.

[Gabby]

In high school, I was actually too skinny. Under malnourished.

[Caller]

Shut the up.

[Gabby]

And my dad would make me drink banana cream muscle milk several a day to sort of gain weight.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Oh, wow.

[Gabby]

And then I would almost puke up the banana cream muscle.

[Steph]

I'm so jealous you wanted that.

[Eldis]

That's like, she's getting attention for being skinny.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

It's sort of like your dream as a child.

[Steph]

And she was sickly and Jewish.

[Gabby]

Like, people were worried about me because I looked too good.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Steph]

I wanted, like, someone to be worried about me.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Steph]

You know?

[Eldis]

Well, that'll happen with a drug addict and a Eastern European mom.

[Caller 2]

Right.

[Eldis]

Eastern European moms are either the most loving. I'm sorry I missed that. What'd you say?

[Gabby]

I said, I'm worried now, if that helps.

[Eldis]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Now you've known her A decade?

[Steph]

No, no, she's been working.

[Eldis]

Okay. Because in my experience, in my experience with Eastern European moms, they definitely. It's the extremes.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Where you have the most loving. You can do nothing wrong. Or you have the sternest. Like I went through World War II or communism or whatever and we all. My. My job is to make you survive. But I don't even cons. I don't really think of love in the real. In. In any real way.

[Steph]

My mom is very warm, actually.

[Eldis]

She.

[Steph]

My brother can do no wrong. My mom would find like weed in my brother's bed or like alcohol under his bed and be like, I wonder who put that there. And then like we found. Yeah, we found like a condom in one of his books once and she was like, that is such a weird place for that to be found. And then I would like have a stain in my bed and she'd be like, this is heroin's thing.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Steph]

Like, she was so crazy.

[Gabby]

She caught him in a book.

[Caller]

She would.

[Steph]

Yeah, he. He carved out a hole in a book and put a condom in it.

[Gabby]

That's awesome. That's so Nancy.

[Eldis]

That's a. That seems like.

[Steph]

By the way, I had Molly in my underwear.

[Eldis]

Was he fucking though? Because that feels to me like a plan of someone. Like that was something when you're like, oh, I better. I better have my secret condom.

[Caller]

Right?

[Eldis]

Right. In case I get pussy.

[Steph]

He was fucking, unfortunately, my friends. Yeah.

[Gabby]

Oh, really? Oh my God. This is a disaster.

[Steph]

My home life was a disaster

[Eldis]

of.

[Gabby]

This is a disaster.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Steph]

I have a butterfly tattoo. Like I'm not well adjusted.

[Eldis]

Oh, man.

[Gabby]

Friends.

[Steph]

Yeah, two of my friends.

[Eldis]

He's older.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Okay. That's. If he was younger, he'd be cool, right? Your older sister's friends, when you're younger is cool.

[Steph]

He didn't them until later, honestly, until college. But he was. He was dating the most popular girl in school.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Wow.

[Gabby]

He just was.

[Steph]

I know. It's funny, cuz my brother's very nerdy and like interesting and tiny. And tiny. He's a tiny boy.

[Gabby]

He's a little tiny.

[Steph]

He's a five foot six boy.

[Eldis]

Wow. So he's pretty tall. So he's like as far as dwarfs. Pretty much like average to kind of above average is what I'm saying, is what I'm hearing.

[Gabby]

Don't worry about it.

[Eldis]

He's like, he's barely short is what I'm hearing.

[Gabby]

Oh, he's completely a full grown man.

[Eldis]

Right. So he was like the starting power forward of the basketball team. I do respect the five, six, six. A five, six guy, like, getting. That's kind of awesome.

[Steph]

I think the short guys are getting a lot of.

[Gabby]

I think they're getting more.

[Steph]

They're getting more.

[Eldis]

Let's. Let's. They're getting pity. No pity.

[Steph]

They get regular.

[Eldis]

No, no, no.

[Gabby]

You think pity.

[Eldis]

I mean, from a regular.

[Gabby]

Let me, let me.

[Steph]

I've been short guys my whole life.

[Eldis]

But how short?

[Gabby]

Right?

[Steph]

Not shorter than me.

[Eldis]

How tall are you?

[Steph]

I'm like five eight.

[Eldis]

Okay.

[Steph]

I. A short. I was dating a short guy in college that was like five seven. Like. Okay, shorter than me.

[Eldis]

Okay, again.

[Steph]

And they felt good.

[Eldis]

We're just gonna. For the purposes conversation. Five, seven is tall. Five, six, short.

[Caller 2]

Right?

[Eldis]

That's sort of the. That's kind of the dividing line that we all societally agree on.

[Caller 2]

Yes.

[Gabby]

I couldn't disagree more. I think that's tiny as hell.

[Eldis]

Ah, interesting. Why don't you chug some banana milk, you fucking dumb bitch?

[Gabby]

Hey, get this bitch a banana.

[Eldis]

Somebody. Somebody get her a banana milk to quiet her down. Eldest, get the thick milks we give women who are talking too much in this studio.

[Steph]

Get her some thick milk.

[Eldis]

Hey, here's a. You want to have this? It's just like. It's just pure honey. Your mouth is stuck. It's like a Venus fly trap for the rest of the episode. Gabby, are you ready to say that 5, 7 is tall? Give her the antidote, Elvis.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Elders hit you with a blow dart.

[Gabby]

Sorry. Short king, short kings. You're royal to me. You're royal.

[Eldis]

That's right. That's more like it. No, I. I've said this before, but I, hilariously, my entire life, truly did not know I was short.

[Gabby]

How short.

[Steph]

How tall are you?

[Eldis]

I'm five' seven.

[Steph]

Wait, you are?

[Eldis]

I'm. I am 58, but I think there's power in line in going down one inch.

[Steph]

Wait, I think you're 59.

[Eldis]

I think that's like. I've. My whole life is like. Is like tricking people into thinking everything is a little better than it is with personality.

[Caller 2]

Right?

[Gabby]

And that's true.

[Eldis]

I put the multiplier on and for. To some people, it really works, you know?

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Steph]

Interesting.

[Eldis]

But my whole luck, because. Because, like, me and eldest have grown up together and we were the same height in kindergarten, and my doctor was like, you're gonna be tall as, like in kindergarten. My doctor's like, you're gonna be so tall. And I think that's the last time I. I like, thought about someone Saying I was tall or not.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And my entire like, growing up, I was like, I'm pretty tall. Like, I'm not the tallest guy, but I'm not a good size. Like, in my head I'm like, I'm. I also, you know, I don't know if it helps.

[Steph]

I've never considered you as short.

[Eldis]

Nobody. I mean, I also agree with that.

[Gabby]

I really pay attention.

[Steph]

I've never once considered your height and even was like, you're. You must be five, ten.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I appreciate that. Really writing another. Thank you for writing another inch.

[Steph]

The second time, of course you're gonna. Was learning.

[Eldis]

Gabby.

[Gabby]

Sorry, can I.

[Eldis]

The turn. Two friends against. This just turned into like bullying you guys.

[Steph]

And Steph, you're looking mighty hot right now. Gabby, next to that. That burn's really coming through.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Gabby, do you need some aloe vera? It seems to be getting worse by the moment.

[Gabby]

Feels like Israel in here.

[Eldis]

I'd be like, I'm in Tel Aviv. Damn. Yeah. No, I do think there was just like, I really think. And I just. My whole life, even like, I made the middle school basketball team. So I'm like, basketball team's tall.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And then I went to high school and it was like, you could not get cut faster than I got cut at tryouts for the basketball team because it's a. It's. It's Baltimore City public schools. Kids are doing like windmill dunks. They're like, like. We literally had a kid who was

[Steph]

610 on our team and what was his race?

[Eldis]

He was. I believe he was Filipino.

[Gabby]

Wait, did you just walk in and

[Eldis]

they were like, no, it was literally like, all right, everybody line up. Let's do a sprint back and forth. And they blew the whistle and they're like, you, you, you, you gone. And it was like, me, a kid.

[Caller 2]

Wow.

[Eldis]

Cross eyed kid. A kid with like braces on his knees. And it was like, well, I guess I'll try wrestling something a little closer to the ground.

[Steph]

Had the opposite. I did gymnastics and I was so tall. And they would make us. They would make us vault and then weigh us afterwards.

[Eldis]

Oh, my God.

[Steph]

Horrible life. Horrible life.

[Eldis]

Wonder what happened there.

[Steph]

And they were. And they would whis. And then they would be like, weigh you. Yeah, they would.

[Eldis]

How old were you?

[Steph]

This was. I did gymnastics. I was in the Junior Olympics. I did gymnastics for a really long time. And they would call. Yeah, they would call over the other coaches when I would go and they'd be like, look how big this girl is.

[Eldis]

Holy cuz.

[Steph]

I was. I was skinny like you look back at photos. I was like a skinny, tall girl.

[Gabby]

You were a child.

[Steph]

I was a child.

[Eldis]

You were a child who should not have been weighed by adults that were supposed to help them grow in a skill. You know what I mean?

[Gabby]

But also you on that scale, they're

[Steph]

like, jesus, come look at this.

[Eldis]

They had a. They had a button. If you're over like 85 pounds, the. The hog button sounds. That's so. Jesus Christ. Weighing kids for gymnastics sticks.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

What was your best event? I was.

[Steph]

Oh, you were going to be like, not good.

[Gabby]

So how much did you win?

[Eldis]

So what was your sickest? Wayne. No, what was the, like your. No, you're being modest. If you were in the Junior Olympics,

[Steph]

I was going to vault and floor and I sucked at everything else. Okay. I was the worst on the team.

[Eldis]

Vault. Oh, the vault. Yeah, that's pretty.

[Gabby]

Floor and floor.

[Steph]

My floor. I did. No, no, no. There's no ribbon circus.

[Eldis]

There's a ribbon. There's no ribbon.

[Steph]

You're running around jumbling and dancing.

[Eldis]

Come on. There's a ribbon. I'll just look up ribbon Olympics.

[Steph]

No, no, that was

[Gabby]

dancing.

[Steph]

Ribbon dancing.

[Gabby]

More dance based.

[Steph]

Yeah, I didn't do that. But my song was the Star wars theme song because I was cool.

[Eldis]

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, the. The like New Hope. The good one. You weren't evil. You didn't do the sith one, right?

[Steph]

Yeah,

[Eldis]

that would have been cool. A little goth.

[Cyndi Lauper]

That.

[Steph]

That was. That was before and after they weighed me. Yeah.

[Eldis]

That's insane. And who were the. What are the coaches? Are they like mean ladies? Are they mean Eastern?

[Steph]

Because I feel like eastern European mean ladies. And then there's the boys coach who would like. Who would come and make us condition with the boys. And he was really scary. It was intense. It was like five times a week, too.

[Eldis]

Holy.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God.

[Steph]

Yeah, it was really.

[Eldis]

Where was this?

[Steph]

In New Jersey.

[Eldis]

Jersey. Oh, both Jersey gals.

[Steph]

No, no, this was like after school, like all star team or whatever. I don't know. Yeah, and then I did. And then I did cheerleading because I like, broke my back and that was also.

[Eldis]

What'd you break? I have a. I have a up back right now.

[Steph]

I had two herniated discs.

[Eldis]

Damn, dog.

[Gabby]

At what age?

[Steph]

This was middle of high school. And then I. Yeah, and then I did tr.

[Eldis]

When. When was the first good year of your life? Like 28.

[Steph]

Honestly, co. Like 2020. You're like, no one can hurt me in here.

[Caller 2]

You're.

[Eldis]

You're like paragliding with Bon Jovi. You're like. You're on a horse.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Horse.

[Eldis]

You're like, hey, dad, look at me.

[Gabby]

Look how thin I look. Naturally.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Naturally.

[Eldis]

Of course.

[Gabby]

Can someone get me. Can I. Can a servant get me a banana milk?

[Eldis]

Oh, my God. That's wild.

[Steph]

I'm tied up in a basement. They're still weighing me too heavy.

[Eldis]

Yeah, they just let. For. For lunch. For lunch. They would just, like, wave a sandwich below your nose. You're like, all right. Three sniffs, girls. And then back hit the floor again.

[Gabby]

Is eating. Is eating.

[Eldis]

That's so crazy. I mean, it seems like they're not doing that anymore. It seems like now you can to

[Steph]

me or just in general.

[Eldis]

In general, yeah.

[Steph]

To girls. Well, they had that. They had that gymnastics doctor who was raping the girl.

[Eldis]

Sure. That.

[Gabby]

I'm sure that still happened.

[Eldis]

N. Dr. Larry Nasser. Nasser, Yeah. A real piece of. For the record, we are staunchly opposed to you, Larry.

[Cyndi Lauper]

I hope.

[Eldis]

I do hope some bad stuff is happening.

[Steph]

I hope he gets hit by.

[Gabby]

He's on my hit list.

[Eldis]

I do. Like, you don't want to. I just hope he's having a real tough time in prison.

[Steph]

I can't imagine he's not getting.

[Eldis]

Yeah, absolutely. He's getting a different kind of foot long. In prison,

[Gabby]

we are sponsored by Subway.

[Eldis]

Subway. Remember how our mascot just actually was a pedophile and we didn't even, like, change the slope logo? You gotta get a new color scheme.

[Steph]

Where did he go?

[Eldis]

He's. He's actually look up how.

[Steph]

Serving time.

[Eldis]

He's an Indiana serving time.

[Steph]

My question is, is he's still thin

[Gabby]

and what was his name again?

[Steph]

Did he keep the weight off?

[Gabby]

That's what I hear.

[Eldis]

Is this. Did the stress in prison make him

[Steph]

thin or make him fat?

[Eldis]

Because he had enough money to get commissary, so he can probably get as many Cheetos and as he wants.

[Caller]

Right.

[Eldis]

You ever see those tick tocks where it's like a guy's making like, a. An ice cream sundae out of, like, what you can buy in jail? No, there's. There was a great genre of tiktoks. It's like jail. Like, here's nachos, and he would, like, take a bag of, like, corn chips and like, beat them into like.

[Steph]

He's out of prison now.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah. But he's just showing you how you ate good in prison.

[Gabby]

It's like when you would play Top Chef with your siblings and be like, what can I make in the fridge? But he's Doing it at.

[Eldis]

In prison.

[Steph]

My algorithm's way different.

[Gabby]

I'll tell you this. I went on a date recently with a guy who. Who's been to jail, okay. And he told me that in jail, they all pass around different books. They share books.

[Eldis]

Okay.

[Gabby]

And when he was in jail, everyone

[Eldis]

lying to impress you can't read. I wasn't doing any more crime. I was reading.

[Gabby]

And he said when he was in jail, they were all reading the Twilight Saga.

[Eldis]

That's awesome.

[Steph]

That's so all of these true blue murderers.

[Eldis]

Yeah, well, like, the guy you went on a date with, a guy who was in that kind of jail?

[Gabby]

Oh, well, I guess not.

[Eldis]

He probably did, like, white collar crime.

[Gabby]

I don't really know the different kinds.

[Steph]

Do you know what he did?

[Gabby]

Drugs.

[Caller 2]

Selling.

[Eldis]

Doing.

[Gabby]

Selling, doing.

[Steph]

It usually goes hand in hand.

[Gabby]

I thought they're all in their misc.

[Eldis]

No, no.

[Steph]

Well, there's jail in prison. There's two different things.

[Eldis]

He wasn't prison.

[Gabby]

Oh.

[Eldis]

Jail is like, they just hold you there for a little bit before you go to prison.

[Gabby]

Oh, should I text him if he was in jail or prison?

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, no, don't do that.

[Gabby]

All right.

[Eldis]

Actually, did it go. Did the date go well?

[Gabby]

Yeah, we're kind of seeing each other.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Oh, wow.

[Eldis]

Good for you. Is he a nice guy, you guys? Is he Team Jacob or Team Edward?

[Gabby]

Hey, were you in jail or prison? And were you Team Jacob or Team Edward?

[Eldis]

Great. Thank you.

[Gabby]

We'll find out soon.

[Eldis]

I can't wait.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Awesome.

[Eldis]

And where did you meet? The Internet.

[Gabby]

The Internet.

[Eldis]

Nice.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Cool.

[Steph]

Gabby gets cool guys in her DMs in a way that I don't.

[Gabby]

I've been really playing the dms in a fun way.

[Steph]

I don't get there. I don't do the dating apps. Those aren't coming through in my DMs.

[Eldis]

Yeah. What's going on?

[Steph]

My DMs are like. I mean, me and Gabby always joke because we tour together. And, like, the line to meet Gabby is like, girls that are like. They're like. And then my line is like, guys, like, standing like this. Literally, this is. They're like.

[Gabby]

So, Steph, what do you think about the war in Gaza?

[Steph]

Yeah, it's kind of like your fan base. Like, I bet we kind of have the same fans, but I just have 0.001%.

[Eldis]

That's tough, though. I would not want this.

[Steph]

And it's your worst one.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I would not want a small ver of, like, year one. Come town. I don't want the. Those Are my boys. Exactly.

[Steph]

Those are my baby boys.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Well, you know what? I'm glad to see they've moved on.

[Steph]

And then. Yeah, my DMs. It's not like, hot cool guys guys. Yeah.

[Gabby]

But I DM too.

[Eldis]

Couple guys. Really devastated listening to this podcast right now. There's like, some, like.

[Steph]

I've been DMing her every day.

[Eldis]

There's some five, seven guys. Yeah. Which is huge, as we've covered. That's where tall starts. That are real. So you're a real height queen, huh, Gab?

[Gabby]

Yeah, I'm a bit of a height, but I'm tall. I'm 5 10.

[Eldis]

Interesting. See, I think we have the opposite. Where I just don't. Again. Again. I have a mental illness where I think I'm, like, better at everything than I actually am, which has served me. I think it's good if you.

[Gabby]

It's a mental wellness.

[Eldis]

I think it. Yeah. I think it's like being.

[Steph]

Speak on it.

[Eldis]

Thinking you're like, 15, better at everything than you are is the perfect amount.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Because it's not full delusion.

[Steph]

Gabby has that, but it's confidence. Gabby has that too.

[Eldis]

I would bump Gabby's up a couple percent.

[Steph]

Gabby has.

[Eldis]

I would get to 30%.

[Steph]

Gabby has. Gabby has looked me dead in the eyes and said she has no insecurities. And I said, surely that's not true. She's like, can't think of one.

[Gabby]

This is really. We're really being pitted against each other right now. But it is true. I have perfect mental health.

[Eldis]

I'm gonna make. I would argue you don't, but I'm happy for you.

[Steph]

She has no imposter syndrome.

[Eldis]

That's true.

[Steph]

She's the only person I know who doesn't have imposter syndrome.

[Eldis]

That's big.

[Gabby]

No zombie doesn't have imposter syndrome, but he's a man.

[Steph]

Don't have him.

[Eldis]

I did when I. It takes a lot. Like, it really took to be, like, the first time I got nervous in a while was, like, doing a movie with Emma Stone. Like, that's where I had. That's where I was like. Which I. That wasn't imposter syndrome. That was like, why am I here? Like, I was right.

[Steph]

That's, like, correct.

[Eldis]

I was fully correct.

[Steph]

Those are the correct emotions.

[Eldis]

Thank God Yorgos Lanthimos was watching Tires one night.

[Cyndi Lauper]

I guess.

[Eldis]

Like, I don't. I don't know how I still to this day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gabby]

It's so random.

[Eldis]

It's so perfect.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, but that, that was like the first time I was like, oh, but now I'm like, it took. It's like now I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm Hollywood now.

[Steph]

You've gone to Hollywood.

[Eldis]

I don't give a fuck at all. Now it's actually kind of fun cuz I, I am shooting a movie and I'm kind of treating it like I did, like my job, I kind of cared about. You know what I mean?

[Gabby]

Perfect. That's what you're supposed to get to.

[Eldis]

I'll just show up.

[Gabby]

Wait, do you know that we're both obsessed with Anthony Bourdain?

[Eldis]

Oh, yeah, he's. Yeah, you're in what?

[Gabby]

The Anthony Bourdain biopic.

[Steph]

Are you playing Anthony?

[Eldis]

Yeah, I'm, I'm a young. I'm in flashback. I play him as a child.

[Gabby]

Oh my God, that's just the New Jersey.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah. I'm eating a big lollipop. I'm like, I hope I learn what a casset is.

[Steph]

Your first words catch you at pepe.

[Eldis]

Yes, I'm in the Anthony Bourdain biopic. I play. I don't want to spoil too much, but I think you can guess. I play a line cook who bullies young Anthony Bourdain.

[Steph]

I want that role. I went out for that.

[Gabby]

Actually, we were both up for that.

[Steph]

We were pretty pissed at you.

[Eldis]

Sorry, gals.

[Gabby]

No, Anthony Bourdain was. Is the love of both of our lives.

[Steph]

Love of our lives.

[Eldis]

Interesting. That's a little millennial of you. You know what I mean? You're a little.

[Gabby]

We are millennials. I know your cuss.

[Steph]

I'm trying so hard to not seem like one.

[Gabby]

I'm solid millennial.

[Steph]

You're a solid millennial.

[Eldis]

No, no, he is the man. I love Bourdain. And those shows were. He was the it. And I, I millennial of you. And I say that as a 37 year old, full, fully millennial who loves him. It's like that feels like one of our defining, like generational guy. Yeah, they don't.

[Steph]

They don't make good guys like that anymore. He was a quality man.

[Gabby]

I think he was everything and more. And his books, his books.

[Eldis]

For me, his books were great.

[Gabby]

Not to talk about books again.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gabby]

Oh, let's see.

[Steph]

I feel like he's never assaulted someone and that's rare.

[Eldis]

Yeah, well, you know, I guess in terms of men. No, actually, actually this biopic does take place in the first. It's basically the first two chapters of Kitchen Confidential. It's like when. His first summer in Provincetown and he. I think he did get married to like the girl he dated as a teen for a long time and then they got divorced n. Now the second that Kitchen Confidential money hit all of a sudden.

[Steph]

So, you know, he was definitely hookers. Like, I can see that for him. He was doing heroin and hookers.

[Gabby]

Which is cool.

[Steph]

Which is cool.

[Gabby]

And probably.

[Steph]

And I bet he treated them nicely.

[Eldis]

Totally. Oh, yeah. If you're. If you're a. If you're a sex worker dealing with a heroin addict, there's no better one than any.

[Steph]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

That's like those guys are probably. Yeah. That He's. He's probably gentle cooking afterwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's ramen noodles, hot dogs. You know, you're in a crack den or whatever it is. But yeah, he's making the best of it.

[Steph]

But who played. Who's playing Anthony? Is that public?

[Eldis]

Yeah, Dom Sessa from the holdovers.

[Steph]

Don't know. Do you know?

[Eldis]

You do know. He's perfect. No, he's perfect. He's perfect for it. He killed it and he's a piece of ass. Look him up. I think you'll both enjoy.

[Steph]

Is he single?

[Gabby]

Why aren't you setting us up with.

[Eldis]

Yeah, you want me to say you're with Dom, who's also like 25.

[Steph]

Literally set me up with anyone. That's fine. I don't care.

[Eldis]

Okay.

[Steph]

Anyone.

[Gabby]

That should be something that's sort of bubbling around in your head.

[Eldis]

You want see you're. The fact that this is a just such proof that like, you know, we are friends, but we're not immediately set you up with all the movie stars.

[Steph]

I know. Friends. I actually thought we were. You're being mean.

[Gabby]

I don't see why you wouldn't consider that.

[Eldis]

Hold on, let me take a pic and I'll send.

[Steph]

We've met. We've met.

[Eldis]

Do you want to smack. Okay, you text your. Your current prison boyfriend.

[Gabby]

Text me.

[Eldis]

I'll text Dom and be like, hey, do you want to either one of

[Cyndi Lauper]

these girls

[Steph]

Just put that right on your story. Just go ahead and put that right

[Gabby]

on your any a list celebrities and your.

[Steph]

And your ghost. I'm available for work as well as jobs.

[Eldis]

Yep, yep.

[Steph]

Work and jobs. We're here.

[Gabby]

No, I can't have sex with the 25 year old.

[Steph]

That's on you. Yeah, that's. That's. That's.

[Eldis]

Wow. We really. We do have a lot in common.

[Steph]

Step.

[Eldis]

Just do. Just two scumbag Eastern Europeans. Oh, interesting. That's. Is that what you're into?

[Steph]

No, I've actually. That's. Actually. We said that, but I've never. Younger guy.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Oh, wow.

[Steph]

But I. Men who are emotionally 11.

[Eldis]

Oh, come on, don't say 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steph]

11.

[Eldis]

11. Now mentally, mentally.

[Steph]

Mentally.

[Gabby]

Mentally.

[Eldis]

11. Okay. That's tough.

[Steph]

Not old souls.

[Eldis]

Right?

[Steph]

But they're old men. Yeah, I don't know.

[Caller]

I'm.

[Steph]

But that's not my story anymore.

[Eldis]

Yeah, no, you're.

[Gabby]

We're changing this narrative.

[Eldis]

What are we changing? Let's work.

[Steph]

I had a tarot card reader the other day tell me that I am going to meet my man soon. He's going to be an Aries. He's going to work in entertainment. He's going to be very, very rich.

[Eldis]

I'm an Aquarius, unfortunately.

[Steph]

Such a bad, bad.

[Eldis]

We. We were just about to get married. Honestly, everything else except the Aries does. Check the box.

[Gabby]

Aquarius is better than Aries, in my opinion.

[Steph]

I don't know. Aquarius. I can't do another air sign.

[Eldis]

This is why your life's bad, by the way. The fact that you're letting so genuinely.

[Gabby]

And I was like, oh, you're right.

[Steph]

No, that's horrible.

[Eldis]

And what about it? Educate me. What about the air sign?

[Steph]

So I'm. I'm a water. I'm a cancer. And that's the most sensitive. That's the most sensitive sign. The most feminine sign, actually.

[Eldis]

Okay.

[Steph]

And I need someone who's flowy and grounded. Air signs are all like. I just don't really know right now. Like, you just trying to get.

[Eldis]

You got me there.

[Steph]

Yeah, you do got. They're in the clouds. I'm in the creek. I'm in the babbling brook.

[Eldis]

Right? You're in the mud.

[Steph]

You're up there. Well, I didn't say that.

[Eldis]

I'm in the mud. I'm in the. I'm with.

[Steph]

Say I was in the mud.

[Eldis]

Like a. I'm flying with the bird. Yeah, you're down there a little.

[Gabby]

Like a little eating out of the truck.

[Caller 2]

Yeah,

[Steph]

you feel fatty. Your friend writes back. She's a little fat brunette.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I'll take the fat one. No, you are not fat. I'm sorry you had an eating disorder. I'm sorry to. You know, I. As a member. See, that's the thing. Men also. I clearly have an eating disorder, by the way. It's just the complete opposite. One of yours.

[Steph]

Binge eating. You're just not purging after the binge.

[Cyndi Lauper]

No, no.

[Eldis]

I just didn't get the purge.

[Steph]

Right.

[Eldis]

But I have. I have an insanely unhealthy relationship to food. It's fine.

[Steph]

I don't know anyone who has, like, a good relationship to food.

[Gabby]

Genuinely.

[Steph]

Genuinely.

[Eldis]

No. Sometimes you just see a person. Person. Like, you'll just be out to lunch, and they'll just have, like, three quarters of a sandwich and be like, that was it.

[Gabby]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah. But that person is a cereal killer.

[Eldis]

They're out there.

[Steph]

I only overeat or undereat.

[Gabby]

Same.

[Steph]

Those are my two modes.

[Eldis]

Interesting.

[Steph]

And I'm the way that. And I don't cook. And I don't have regular food in my house.

[Eldis]

Gotcha, gotcha, Gotcha.

[Gabby]

At all the peptides help.

[Eldis]

Oh, we're getting pepped up.

[Steph]

Gabby's in gab. What do you want to talk about?

[Gabby]

About it? Well, I am a Peptide princess right

[Eldis]

now, but I'd love to get into. I can't wait to do a bunch of Peptide.

[Steph]

Why are you doing.

[Eldis]

Because I right now have two traumatic injuries, and I'm filming them.

[Steph]

Excuse.

[Eldis]

Excuse.

[Steph]

Yeah, I do want to get been crazy right now. I'm just like, I don't know. I don't have enough time to inject my butt.

[Eldis]

Where do you get these, though? Do you have, like, a guy?

[Gabby]

I'm a dealer who lives in Arizona.

[Eldis]

Okay, so that's a problem. So you know what I mean? Like, I'd love for a doctor to do this.

[Steph]

And you met him through your prison boyfriend? She did.

[Eldis]

Wait, really?

[Steph]

Yes, she did.

[Gabby]

I have a doctor if you want a doctor, but I'm such a Jew that the doctor was too much money, so I found a dealer to prescribe me the same things, and now I pay a third of the price.

[Eldis]

Oh, interesting.

[Gabby]

Okay, he's obviously a Little league baseball coach in Arizona.

[Eldis]

That's awesome. He sounds cool.

[Gabby]

No, he's cool.

[Eldis]

He sounds really cool. Yeah, well, I'm gonna be in Phoenix. Tell him to tell him to come by.

[Steph]

Gabby's been trying to get me on these peptides.

[Gabby]

I'm loving the Peptides.

[Eldis]

And what's it doing for you?

[Gabby]

I'm on several different ones.

[Steph]

She's on a lot.

[Gabby]

I'm on a lot.

[Eldis]

Okay. And you think, why?

[Steph]

So you inject multiple jabs every day?

[Gabby]

I'm doing multiple jobs. I l. In the morning every day? Yeah. I Line.

[Eldis]

Hold on. You do a shot every day?

[Steph]

Multiple shots.

[Caller 2]

Wow.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Okay.

[Gabby]

And then I line them up.

[Eldis]

What are you doing?

[Gabby]

I take one by one, right in the side of my ass.

[Eldis]

Oh, little. This Little cool.

[Gabby]

And it's fun and it's. It's. It's exciting.

[Eldis]

What have you.

[Steph]

She's been acting like she's on crack cocaine.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I'm having a lot of. Of fun. Fun with it. I'm on something called red, A true tie that only men with bitcoin are on. And me.

[Eldis]

Doesn't that make you jacked?

[Gabby]

It makes you jacked.

[Eldis]

Is that why you're red? You're not actually. Are you not actually have a sunburst?

[Gabby]

My blood is getting stuck in certain parts of my. I'm on that one. I'm on nad. What you're doing. I'm on a hair, skin and nails one.

[Steph]

Nad is not. I think nad is really just like a vitamin.

[Gabby]

Nad is just like.

[Steph]

It's not really.

[Eldis]

I did it one time and it felt good.

[Gabby]

I really like it.

[Steph]

That one. I feel like I'm not. I'm not scared of the risks. But what make you jacked?

[Gabby]

It's. It's a GLP3. So it basically, like, dissolves all.

[Eldis]

Oh, yeah. You shouldn't be on that. You're so skinny. That's insane.

[Gabby]

I know, but it's like, remember Gabby

[Steph]

said she has no insecurities and has a. Never had an eating disorder,

[Eldis]

but someone who was so malnourished as a child, her dad had to treat her like a leukemia patient is on Reddit Truth. You're on. I'm on a GLP1. You're on a GLP3. Of the people in this room, you are on a more. You're on the more advanced fat loss drug. Yeah, that's insane.

[Gabby]

But I'm on a microdose. Okay, well, it started with my friend took Ozempic and she lost, like, 30 pounds. And every now and then I was like, let me just get a hit.

[Eldis]

Right. That's how it works.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Steph]

So it can be.

[Eldis]

So it really shouldn't be.

[Gabby]

I've been just doing it. Okay. Okay.

[Eldis]

All right. Yeah, no, you're right. You have no mental health problems whatsoever. Okay, that's nice. And are you. And so you're. You're at the. You're looking to ride peptides to a better life.

[Gabby]

I'm just interested in how far we could push this. You know what I mean?

[Eldis]

Would you like to be a. Would you put, like, robotic stuff in your body?

[Gabby]

Would you go, I would do full transplant. Brain transplant.

[Steph]

She's being serious.

[Gabby]

I would do anything. I would genuinely do anything.

[Eldis]

What's the dream? Like, I read a book where they would clone you and they, and you could, you just had like young version like you picked when, whenever you thought you were the hottest and you just cloned yourself at that moment. And anytime you're like body started like you just trade in a new body every like five.

[Steph]

So I could like have my 11 year old body.

[Eldis]

What is with 11?

[Steph]

So I can finally understand the man I'm dating now we're out there.

[Eldis]

Your brain unfortunately would stay the same.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Pedophile. Yeah,

[Gabby]

I would take out all my blood, replace it with virgin blood. Like I would be doing sort of classic witch moves.

[Steph]

Yeah, I'll do all of it.

[Eldis]

Okay. I don't think you should want to do all that stuff.

[Gabby]

Why?

[Eldis]

And you're healthy. Like why are you doing that?

[Gabby]

Because it's fun. I'm from New Jersey. It's like part of the culture.

[Eldis]

Well, I guess your dad was on. Was it meth?

[Steph]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

So this is a, this is a positive I guess generation.

[Steph]

Is your dad taking peptides?

[Gabby]

Yes, everyone in my family's on Peptides.

[Eldis]

Okay. Yeah.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Eldis]

That's awesome.

[Gabby]

My dad's literally doing.

[Eldis]

How is your dad by the way? I love one day we got to get you and your pops on.

[Gabby]

Oh, whenever you want.

[Steph]

Hey, you don't want my dad on.

[Eldis]

I would actually honestly.

[Steph]

Wait, you guys don't want my dad on?

[Eldis]

I would have. If you want to contact him for I assume the first time in a decade anyone knows where he is.

[Steph]

If you can turn, I'm sure, sure some one of your viewers has sold him cocaine.

[Eldis]

Tell him it pays $250. Maybe he'll show up. There's a knock on the door.

[Gabby]

He's already here.

[Caller 2]

Hello.

[Eldis]

He's carrying out one of the TVs in the fucking lobby.

[Steph]

He's stealing the copper.

[Eldis]

Oh fuck.

[Steph]

No, he's sober.

[Caller 2]

Oh yes.

[Steph]

No, he has turned his life around.

[Eldis]

Oh, good for him.

[Gabby]

No, he's doing good.

[Eldis]

Is it religious wise? Like did he go like.

[Steph]

He got really into a. Ah, okay. But he's not really, he's not like drinking the Kool Aid of the religious stuff. He's. My dad's actually really funny and cool and like a hippie guy. But he doesn't call me.

[Gabby]

Right?

[Eldis]

Yeah, okay, that's actually. Yeah, that's tough because he's sober now. You know, that's the thing. It's like when he was clear of mine, now he's like, he's like ah, what am I gonna do today? This is boring.

[Gabby]

He has nothing.

[Eldis]

Sober sucks. I don't know, I guess I'll. I guess I'll crack another Sudoku or something.

[Gabby]

Do I have any close relations I have to call?

[Eldis]

Maybe I'll take my so a baseball game. Maybe I'll take my perfect son to a baseball game.

[Gabby]

My perfect small son.

[Eldis]

Damn. This episode of Stoppage World is sponsored by, you guessed it, Twisted Tea. Oh, I can't wait to make this the most twisted summer of my life. We're talking local hot dog contests. We're talking down those original half and half peach and raspberries that come in that Twisted Tea Party Pack. I'm sipping on them day and night. Pretty Call me Kid Cudi cuz day and night I'm sipping on the Twisted Tea Party Pack. Whether you're grabbing the homies and renting a sweet place on the water or becoming your crew certified grill master, that is my. That is my job in the crew. Bring Twisted Tea along for the ride. Ride. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today and keep it twisted. Must be 21 plus. Please drink responsibly. It's officially summer folks. And boy what a summer are we having. We got championships to celebrate, countless games to watch, and good old fashioned fun to be had. Like riding a scooter even though you're a frill grown adult.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Hmm.

[Eldis]

Interesting addition, Visible to the script this week. It's shaping up to be a legendary one. One you don't want to miss a moment of this summer. That that is your best companion this summer. Visible Wireless. We love Visible. As you know, they are now sponsoring the Stavis World hotline and Visible gives you unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon for just $25 a month so you can save and still order a few rounds at happy hour. Visible is more than just a wireless plan. It's unlimited wireless designed to always keep you connected and there's no contract to tie you down. We love Visible here at Stavi's World. You're going to love it too. Switch [e-mail] plans start at $25 a month or get their premium Visible Plus Pro plan and save $10 on your first month. When you use promo code STAV terms apply. See visible.com for plan features and network management details. Did your did you ever get a stepdad or did mom go so here's the thing.

[Gabby]

My mom this is actually topical.

[Steph]

My mom has been dating a man man named for 10 years.

[Eldis]

Okay.

[Steph]

And they recently he's oh he's an accountant and my mom has roped him into doing all of her gypsy friends taxes.

[Gabby]

Awesome.

[Steph]

So it's a picture like 15 Eastern European women. He's doing their taxes for free this year. My taxes were such a nightmare that he broke up with my mom over it.

[Eldis]

No.

[Steph]

He's so mad at my mom, he's ghosting her because he told. He begged her not to open me an S corp. My mom did. Anyway. She opened it wrong. She also called, called it this. It's. This sucks productions. But she did this sucks production. Because she was like, it's just V. Right, right, right. And she opened it wrong and she didn't fill out the right paperwork. I'm being fined. I don't know. And he dumped her.

[Gabby]

He's not.

[Steph]

He's not talking to her right now.

[Gabby]

It's a disaster.

[Steph]

I haven't filed my taxes yet.

[Eldis]

That's awesome. He's just clearly been cheating. He's like, nice an excuse.

[Gabby]

He's like, taxes were crazy. Your daughter's your daughter. Fat daughter.

[Steph]

Your fat daughter.

[Gabby]

Your daughter's.

[Caller 2]

I.

[Steph]

The first dad left. Jesus Christ. I'm drinking now.

[Eldis]

Damn.

[Gabby]

You really do need to do your taxes.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Jewish friend. I don't know.

[Eldis]

You don't know? You don't have a guy.

[Steph]

I'm, like, really bad at, like, surviving it. Like, I have, like, low survival instincts.

[Gabby]

That's actually true.

[Steph]

It is true.

[Gabby]

She does have, like, four. Steph has always had, like, the best job.

[Steph]

I have two 401ks.

[Gabby]

She's 2,401k. She doesn't know how to get access.

[Steph]

Yeah. I don't have the password.

[Eldis]

Okay.

[Steph]

I've had. I've been in corporate America since I was.

[Eldis]

Wait, really?

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

The youngest director at Conde Nast ever.

[Steph]

That's true.

[Eldis]

But wait, what do you mean?

[Steph]

Like, I would direct videos for, like, Vogue and GQ and stuff.

[Eldis]

That's awesome.

[Steph]

But. And I've like, been financially independent from forever and all this stuff. But I'm like, also, like, fully retarded.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Like, she was the youngest director. Conde Nasten. We'd go on a trip and her plane. She wouldn't pick a seat on the plane.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Steph]

Like, I don't have a phone charger with me.

[Eldis]

Right, right, right.

[Gabby]

Like, she would just buy.

[Eldis]

I see.

[Steph]

But I'm like, running business businesses. But, like, how. And I would keep getting promoted and

[Eldis]

so you can do high level surf stuff, but you. The day to day is boring to you.

[Steph]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Okay.

[Steph]

Yeah. Like, I don't. I don't buy groceries. I don't cook.

[Eldis]

It sounds like you need a little 54 husband to do all your. To do tasks for you.

[Caller]

You know what I mean?

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Little guy. You can keep in your purse.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Steph]

Little guy.

[Gabby]

If.

[Steph]

You know. If you know any.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Why? So those DMS are lighting up, sister. And let's just say it's not going to be an improvement on you. On what you were complaining about at the beginning of the episode.

[Gabby]

A little bit worse.

[Eldis]

I get that, though, because I feel. I actually feel the exact same way. Where I, like, would. Often times, like, my whole life, I've never thought about money. And then it just. I got lucky that things went the way they did, but I can't. I don't know how to, like, you know, I don't know how to, like. Like, if a. If a. If a bill comes, like, of a paper bill comes. It's never getting.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do upkeep stuff.

[Steph]

Low executive function.

[Eldis]

Very low executive function.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I. I can't plan stuff. Like, sometimes I get really excited to sit down and, like, be like, I'm gonna think about this the next two weeks. And it takes me, like, just four hours to look at a calendar and be like, yeah. Podcast at 12.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I'm like, dude, all right, I need a break. Like, like, just literally, scheduling takes me so long. Like, logistical, like, that takes, but creative. It sounds like maybe it's a similar thing where things that excite you, you can do things that you see is, like, worth your time a little bit.

[Steph]

Yeah. But also, numbers are hard.

[Gabby]

We're vibes. We're more vibes than we are numbers.

[Eldis]

I get that.

[Steph]

But dwindling attention span because of social media. So then that's also going. So I'm like, fully becoming, like, kind of like this Gen Z. Gen Z.

[Cyndi Lauper]

You can't.

[Eldis]

That's not how it works. If you give yourself the same love, like mental illness of a young person, you don't become young. You understand that, right?

[Gabby]

That's what she's doing instead of.

[Steph]

I think you're wrong. I think me and Gabby are both experimenting different formats.

[Gabby]

That's sort of her treatment.

[Eldis]

I see. I see.

[Gabby]

I.

[Eldis]

You just depressed, it sounds like.

[Steph]

I actually don't think I'm depressed.

[Eldis]

I think I'm like, just your affect,

[Gabby]

the way you said that. I actually don't think I'm depressed.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Yeah. So shit's going good. Pretty.

[Steph]

I'm like, a pretty joyful person.

[Eldis]

Yeah. I just get a lot of complaints.

[Steph]

I get in some whole. I don't Am I complaining a lot?

[Eldis]

It seems like you're not sad.

[Steph]

I think I'm just stating the facts of my life.

[Eldis]

It just seems like you're not satisfied.

[Gabby]

I'm not saying genuinely confused.

[Steph]

I think it's just because I'm a brunette and I'm sitting next to Gabby, who's a blonde, so anything I say

[Eldis]

seems like I'm not that stupid.

[Gabby]

It's like a black and white cookie I can understand.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm like the one with yellow hair.

[Caller]

Hair.

[Eldis]

Happy.

[Gabby]

The goth one.

[Steph]

I think this is the least goth I've ever been. Right.

[Gabby]

Yeah, I'm pretty happy.

[Eldis]

That's good. That's good.

[Caller]

You're a.

[Steph]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Okay. You know, cool. All right. We'll revisit in a few months, I guess.

[Caller 2]

We'll see.

[Steph]

We'll see when Steph's killed herself.

[Gabby]

She loved Anthony Bourdain.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Yeah. I just. I just know I got depressed once.

[Cyndi Lauper]

I.

[Eldis]

When I broke my. When I broke my arm and I had to postpone a bunch of it just, I. I was like, oh, right. This is what, like, I love post postponing stuff's fun, but having an injury

[Gabby]

is the worst thing.

[Steph]

Yeah. In the world. That's true.

[Gabby]

I once broke both my feet and I had to cancel a year of my life.

[Eldis]

Both your feet?

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Caller 2]

How?

[Steph]

Because she had an eating disorder.

[Gabby]

I was. And I wasn't taking vitamins and my bones were very bad brittle. And I was walking down the street. I was walking.

[Eldis]

You broke two feet walking?

[Gabby]

Yeah, I sort of was like playing with a dog a little bit. I went like this. And I was wearing those fake Balenciaga sock sneakers. You remember those?

[Eldis]

Yeah, I remember those. Yeah.

[Gabby]

And my foot sort of fell off the.

[Eldis]

You know, those are maybe the worst shoes of all time.

[Steph]

She had a decades long eating disorder.

[Gabby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Steph]

That she's pretending she was walking and went.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[Steph]

And now she's unbaptized.

[Eldis]

And what did you do? You just literally laid up?

[Gabby]

I sort of laid up. I was. I was obviously living with a boyfriend who had no teeth and he would sort of carry me around and he was doing a lot of carrying.

[Eldis]

This is really fascinating. This. This is proof of, like a perspective changing everything. Because Gabby's life also sounds bad, but she's smiling about it, you know, Smiling this whole time. But there is a different. I think you'll know. I think there's a. There's a quality to like, Gabby's legitimately having, like, happy.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You know, It's. Your face is smiling. Those eyes. Those eyes can. Those eyes are stuck.

[Gabby]

We're working on it.

[Eldis]

We're working on it.

[Gabby]

I think nad is really gonna help.

[Steph]

I feel so good.

[Eldis]

You need a little more delusion. That's really all it is.

[Steph]

Yeah, I'm very. I'm very realistic.

[Eldis]

Who was the toothless guy? Where did you find him?

[Gabby]

He was a British guy. He had no front teeth, but the teeth next to the front teeth were gold.

[Eldis]

Oh, cool.

[Steph]

Scabies.

[Gabby]

He had scabies. He had active, long lasting scabies. He had an old jalopy that broke down in the back of my cousin's house and he left it there for six months to a year after we brought up. He now moved back to England. He's doing very well.

[Eldis]

Good for him.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And you both seem to love England. I feel like every time I look

[Steph]

at Instagram, one of you, she England pilled me.

[Gabby]

Yeah, okay.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

What's up with that?

[Gabby]

I just love it. They're all so sad.

[Steph]

She's an Anglophile. I don't really like it that much.

[Gabby]

I like it that I like the accents. I'm actually coming off of it right now. And I've been sort of into America, but like

[Eldis]

what they're doing, if Israel wasn't that hot, I'd be there. And now I want to come to America.

[Gabby]

My two favorite places. American. That's a joke. Don't clip that. I'll kill you.

[Eldis]

Clip it. No, don't, don't. No.

[Gabby]

I really like England. I like the, the. I just like it.

[Eldis]

I loved London. I did. I went to. I. I wanted to hate it so bad. I want to be like, ain't London sucks. Dig New York number one, baby. And then you're like, it is a

[Steph]

little better than New York.

[Eldis]

It's so much better.

[Gabby]

British people are funny and they so much.

[Eldis]

Let me say, not so much.

[Steph]

Pub culture is cool.

[Gabby]

Liverpool's the best.

[Steph]

Better nightlife.

[Eldis]

I don't think I've been to Liverpool.

[Gabby]

Manchester's amazing. Like, the.

[Eldis]

Manchester's not amazing. That's ridiculous.

[Steph]

You don't like Manchester?

[Eldis]

Is that where I went? It's like a mall.

[Cyndi Lauper]

That was one of the, the places.

[Eldis]

Manchester sucks.

[Gabby]

We had the best time in Manchester.

[Caller 2]

Beautiful.

[Steph]

It's beautiful.

[Eldis]

No, it's not.

[Steph]

Well, you're grading on a curve. It's ignorant. It's all disgusting.

[Eldis]

Yeah, it had like Burger K. It was a place that had. It was like a strip mall.

[Steph]

There's Burger, like just wherever. I think you were Just at a strip mall.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I guess that was right by the train station and everything.

[Steph]

You were at their Myrtle Broadway stop.

[Gabby]

That's like judging New York by pen station.

[Eldis]

Yeah, it's better than whatever I saw in Manchester.

[Gabby]

I don't know.

[Eldis]

The world's most famous arena right across the street. The street pizza suprema right there. Get a great slice. I don't know. Sounds pretty good to me.

[Gabby]

Have you guessed it? There's also a subway. We went to Wales, which isn't England, but that was fun. I love Ireland.

[Eldis]

I love the uk.

[Gabby]

I like Blinder. I like how they're all violent and oppressed.

[Caller]

You're.

[Steph]

And you look tan over there.

[Eldis]

Oh, that's a good point.

[Gabby]

Also, they're very.

[Eldis]

That makes sense.

[Caller 2]

Ugly.

[Steph]

Well, the guys. I think England has the most disparity. The guys are really hot and the girls are ugly.

[Gabby]

Except the people that come to our shows.

[Eldis]

Yeah, but so busted. You said a lot. No, no, you. You can't walk that back. A lot of busted over in England.

[Gabby]

Yeah, it's not a great looking group. So you, you walk around.

[Eldis]

I don't see in my head. I just think about like, like, I guess I only think about when I've heard black girls talk in a British accent. And to me that's so hot that I'm like, no, the girls are hot. I think the accent catches me.

[Steph]

Black British guys. Black British guys, the rappers, you know?

[Gabby]

Yeah, they're.

[Eldis]

I do.

[Gabby]

Like, everyone's in a blazer.

[Eldis]

I like that.

[Steph]

In Shortage House. Shortage House, Yeah.

[Eldis]

And then you. But then like. So you prefer other parts. Because I feel like you, you're both always traveling internationally.

[Steph]

Yeah, that's true.

[Eldis]

Were you just in Europe?

[Steph]

I'm a European hero girl through and through.

[Eldis]

Gotcha.

[Steph]

You know, But I'm big on med. The south.

[Eldis]

Hell yeah.

[Steph]

Mediterranean, you know. But I also love. Hey, Berlin, right?

[Gabby]

You're sober.

[Steph]

I love ketamine. I was just in Berlin and I kind of want to move there.

[Eldis]

Interesting.

[Steph]

You know.

[Gabby]

Did you go to Bergheim? Bergheim. That's how I say that.

[Steph]

Berghain.

[Caller 2]

Bergheim.

[Steph]

No, it wasn't open because it wasn't a weekend. But I'll be going. I like, will go on like one bender a year that's like that then puts me out for the rest of the year.

[Eldis]

Awesome. That's awesome. Definitely something you want to think about when it's like all you're looking forward to is that bender. You're like, let me just get to the drug. And it's Each year it gets a couple days longer.

[Steph]

Famously. I always end up at a hospital in Europe.

[Gabby]

As you know, anytime Step acts like. First of all, we go to Europe all the time.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Together. And anytime we go to Europe, Steph acts like she's like, oh, I'm partying. I'm partying. No, she gets strep. Day two.

[Steph]

Day two.

[Gabby]

She goes immediately goes to the hospital. None of us.

[Eldis]

A lot too.

[Steph]

I get strep every time I leave my house.

[Eldis]

Me too.

[Steph]

I. I think it's STD as it.

[Eldis]

You think so?

[Steph]

I think one. It's an std even.

[Eldis]

Well, no, hold on. Did you get as a kid?

[Steph]

I don't.

[Eldis]

Cuz I got it as a kid and it just kept going. Every time we're on tour, I get strep at least once.

[Steph]

Cuz I think it's from exhaustion and like, I think your body just Whatever. But yeah, I get it every time.

[Gabby]

Try nad.

[Eldis]

You're right.

[Gabby]

Well, now I carry around a nice routine.

[Steph]

I went to Mexico. I got a monster Phoenix.

[Eldis]

Little sluggers. Coach, it really says you should do some nad. He's. When he's not rearranging little fat. Which fat child is going to play catcher and which one's going to be in Right. Hey, come on. No one was a fatter child here than me. All right, let's relax.

[Gabby]

I was incredibly thin. No. Yeah, she. She's always in a hospital.

[Caller 2]

Did you.

[Eldis]

Did you have to go this time to a hospital?

[Steph]

This time I didn't go. I was sick. But now I carry around a Moxicillin from Mexico that I got at a Mexican pharmacy just in case.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Steph]

And I sort of just start taking that right before I. I go and

[Eldis]

really shouldn't do that. You really should not just take antibiotics just in case.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

That also up your gut.

[Steph]

I recently had strep. Twice in two weeks. I got strep. I think I gave it to a guy. He didn't take antibiotics. I went back, we had sex again. And then he gave it hpv. He gave me back my own strep and he never took antibiotics.

[Eldis]

Whoa.

[Steph]

And I was on them for a month.

[Eldis]

Do you think his, like, tonsils are going to explode?

[Steph]

I don't know. I was looking at his tonsils and they didn't look good.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Steph]

But he was like. He was like, I'm gonna pass it. And I was like, I don't.

[Eldis]

Awesome.

[Steph]

But he's fine.

[Eldis]

That's one of the dumbest things you could possibly. It's like the most cur. You take one antibiotic, you feel like 80% better immediate immediately.

[Steph]

Yeah, he just wanted to.

[Eldis]

This is a dumb guy.

[Gabby]

This is a dumb guy who we hope dies from strep.

[Eldis]

Obviously not in prison. What are some of his negative attributes?

[Steph]

He's been to jail too. Multiple times.

[Eldis]

He's on we like a guy with a little grip. Back in my own clothes, girls. And I think it's time we hit the Stavi's World hotline, brought to you by our pals at Visible for some calls. You guys, truly. You know what? No one has showed what experts they are and how exactly right they are to give people advice than YouTube than the first 50 minutes of this podcast. No one has done a more authoritative job convincing our listeners that they should heed your word than what we've just experienced.

[Gabby]

So I have perfect mental health. Don't forget that first question.

[Eldis]

There's no. Without further ado. I don't know why we're wasting time. Let's. Let's use these two beautiful brains to help our call.

[Gabby]

And faces.

[Steph]

And faces.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Bodies.

[Eldis]

Right. Let's use these two nice brains and pretty good bodies to. To help beautiful women and so anyway.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Go ahead.

[Caller]

Hi, Sally. I have been married about 12 years this year.

[Eldis]

Nice.

[Caller]

When we first got married, I found out my husband had cheated on me with some escort services. This was shortly after I gave birth to our first daughter.

[Gabby]

Oh.

[Caller]

We worked through that. I had another kid.

[Steph]

We worked.

[Gabby]

We worked through that.

[Eldis]

We were good. He's still them

[Caller]

kid. Then a few years later, I felt pressured to be in an open marriage, which I didn't want.

[Cyndi Lauper]

It's me.

[Gabby]

She's an easy answer.

[Eldis]

Jesus Christ. This is brutal. This poor girl ended up meeting someone

[Caller]

and I did have an affair.

[Eldis]

You didn't have an affair. He wanted you to. So he could keep fucking sex workers. He wanted you to just dick down your.

[Steph]

I think I left this voicemail. I've been in this exact situation. I'm not kidding.

[Gabby]

Steph has two kids, by the way. Yeah. Both have strap.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep going.

[Caller]

Affair for about 20 months. And I felt really bad about it.

[Caller 2]

Wait, wait.

[Eldis]

El, did we miss something? She did this when she felt she was in an open relationship.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Right? Yeah.

[Gabby]

That's not an affair.

[Cyndi Lauper]

She calls it an affair, but it was after this poor girlfriend.

[Steph]

There was probably rules and stuff that

[Gabby]

she broke and she's being manipulated, obviously.

[Eldis]

Yeah. But she does. Yeah. She feel even if there were technically rules, like it is funny. I do have a friend who figured out a way to Cheat in an open relationship. And it's like. Come on.

[Steph]

That happened to me.

[Eldis]

Really?

[Steph]

Yeah. Because. Because our rule was like, no exes, and then he.

[Caller]

His ex.

[Eldis]

That's crazy.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I mean, that's. That's cheating. No matter what the circumstances.

[Caller 2]

Right.

[Steph]

And it just happened to be.

[Eldis]

Oh, my God.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

No, I. I was real off about you being devastated right now. I'm the one wrong. I'm the one reading the situation wrong.

[Gabby]

That sadness you're seeing in her eyes. It's actually joy.

[Steph]

There's sorrow in my eyes.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Keep going.

[Eldis]

Jesus walking Christ.

[Caller]

And I felt really bad about it, so I ended up telling my husband. He was extremely upset, which surprised me, because he wanted an open marriage.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Oh, so he wanted open marriage. And then she. But they didn't officially do it. And so she started an affair. Okay, I see, I see, I see. Ah, damn. It does hurt that you. You did something dumb. Cuz you were.

[Gabby]

That's the truth. I think that they.

[Steph]

I think they were in an open relationship, and then the affair was that it wasn't just. She was like. It was emotional.

[Eldis]

I see, I see, I see. Okay.

[Caller]

And I had figured he was probably cheating on me anyway, so we're in therapy now.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God.

[Caller]

Trying to move forward.

[Eldis]

Damn.

[Caller]

And the other day, he said that I looked better and I was putting more effort into my appearance when. When I was having an affair. And then I don't do that for him anymore.

[Eldis]

I'm confused. So can you suck off your co worker again? So you hit the elliptical every once in a while.

[Gabby]

I would genuinely. And I'm being serious.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Poison and murder this man.

[Eldis]

I mean, that's an. It's funny because I do. Again, I guess I see the twisted logic here of being like, hey, you know, while you were cheating, you, like, cared how you looked. It's like you. You clearly, like. It would be nice if you put that effort now if it came from someone who hadn't already cheated on her, hadn't pressured her. Like, this is crazy. It's a. When you're this guy, you kind of have to be like, all right. She kind of gave me a get out of jail free card.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I guess that's what he's doing.

[Steph]

That guy's never going to do that.

[Caller 2]

That though.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Steph]

I've dated this guy. They're sick.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Steph]

They're narcissistic.

[Eldis]

I mean, if you want to pick it, it's up to you.

[Steph]

I think don't.

[Gabby]

I think don't.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Steph]

I think don't.

[Eldis]

Keep going.

[Steph]

Bail money.

[Gabby]

It's like, just. Just answer my question.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gabby]

Really good guy.

[Caller]

Confused because I'm the same size. I wear the same clothes. I'm five, eight. I'm a size six to eight.

[Steph]

She's giving us her.

[Caller]

I know I look good.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God, I'm gonna cry.

[Caller]

I don't really know what he's trying to say here.

[Eldis]

I know this girl's voice sounds like

[Caller]

Steph's, like, what I should do from here. Is my husband just never satisfied?

[Eldis]

Yeah, he's a piece of shit.

[Caller]

Am I never going to be enough for him?

[Eldis]

Yes.

[Gabby]

This is an intrinsically evil man.

[Caller]

And I get a work because we have two kids.

[Eldis]

That's.

[Steph]

This is emotional abuse.

[Gabby]

This is abuse. This is abuse.

[Eldis]

At the very least, it's a horrible relationship.

[Steph]

Never stay together for the kids. I've never understood that. That's crazy.

[Eldis]

It's never worked.

[Steph]

You're not crazy. You're not crazy.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steph]

But I get. When you're so wrapped up sometimes when you've constructed such a story about a relationship to justify why you're still in it, it's really hard to, like, unravel from that.

[Eldis]

Yeah. I mean, when that's. Psychologically, that's very true. But also when you have a. These people also just have. Logistically, they're bound together. They have two kids. They.

[Gabby]

They've.

[Eldis]

I mean, even just having to get a place. You know what I mean? Like, they probably have a house together, an apartment. Like, you're like.

[Steph]

There's like, 10 inertia.

[Eldis]

Inertia is so every layer. Every year you're in a, like, marriage, and it just, like, adds a layer of inertia that keeps you in it.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I mean, so that's clear. That's clearly what she's into. I mean, look, the real answer here is a guy's cheating on his pregnant wife with S Courts.

[Gabby]

No, this is.

[Eldis]

You break up with that guy. Like, you. You just say, oh, this. I don't want this guy to be like, you know, you gave him a second shot, and then he. You worked through it, you said. And then he clearly tried to, like, he just repackaged cheating. Cheating with open relationship.

[Steph]

This is like.

[Eldis]

This is like millennial branding. Like, remember there's that company Bloom that just, like, put bright colors on Metamucil and was like, it's good for your digestion. It was just like what our grandparents used to drink. It's like that.

[Gabby]

I fell for that.

[Eldis]

They basically have done that with open Relationships is just millennial rebranding, cheating.

[Steph]

Horrible.

[Eldis]

And so this is. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy.

[Steph]

Don't do it.

[Eldis]

Yeah, no, it's so nice.

[Gabby]

Don't do it.

[Steph]

Don't do it. First of all, don't do it.

[Eldis]

Also, then you think the first time you did the podcast, you were in the depths of that. And just privately, I was just like, never going to work. Never going to work. And it did it.

[Gabby]

And it did it.

[Eldis]

And there was. There was literally like 20 minutes of my life where I pitched that to somebody and instantly I felt like a fucking idiot. I was like, no, no, never mind, never mind. That's so fucking stupid.

[Cyndi Lauper]

I'm sorry.

[Steph]

Yeah, it really is, like, great for men and horrible for women.

[Eldis]

Well, yeah, it's not great for all. I mean, I think usually it's great.

[Caller 2]

It.

[Eldis]

Men think it's going to be great. I think the. Usually what happens in a. In a, like, marriage that's been established is that the guy thinks it's going to be awful. Awesome. And then he quickly realizes, oh, it's so much easier for a woman to just get. If she wanted to. She could. A guy. It's good for certain men if you can.

[Steph]

What usually ends up happening is the guy. Well, men can have sex and compartmentalize it, I think a lot better.

[Eldis]

That's what you mean. You mean, like, they're. Men are more capable of.

[Steph]

But then when a woman. And this is what I find in most open relationships, the woman resists, and then she's fine. Like, okay, I'll do it. Because you are. And then they kind of fall in love with someone because that's because they're treating them nice.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Because they're not manipulating.

[Steph]

But also we someone. And then. Then we're like, I love you.

[Eldis]

I. I love.

[Steph]

I love you. And then the guy's like, what the. And she's like, well, you 500 people. I. 1. And I fell in love with them.

[Gabby]

And then they figure out a way to like, no, you cheated by your feelings.

[Eldis]

By having feelings.

[Gabby]

Even though I wanted to around.

[Eldis]

I was just using women as receptacles, as jizz. As jizz trash cans.

[Gabby]

How dare you do eye contact missionary.

[Eldis]

Yeah, that'd be really funny of their rules on position. Like, you can do missionary, but you have to be wearing sunglasses.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And you can sideways one. But not

[Steph]

bring back family values.

[Gabby]

I'm serious. I think you should kill him.

[Eldis]

And I know you shouldn't kill him legally. No one on this podcast is telling you to kill anyone.

[Gabby]

I Think you should slowly poison him. No one would ever.

[Steph]

I think he sounds like a loser. This is loser behavior.

[Gabby]

And he sounds ugly.

[Eldis]

This is a loser behavior. He might not be. Yeah, we don't know. He could be ugly.

[Gabby]

Sounds ugly.

[Eldis]

That's. That's besides the point. The. The perfect height for a man. Why are we complimenting this guy? I don't understand, but, I mean, is there any more elders? Are we done? So, yeah, I mean this to me.

[Steph]

Don't come to this podcast for that.

[Gabby]

No, you. I genuinely sound upset, and I think you should go seek professional help.

[Eldis]

Well, they're in therapy, but I think. I got to be honest.

[Gabby]

They're in couples there.

[Eldis]

Right, Right. She needs her own therapy. Do a little individual 100%.

[Gabby]

And then also, I think you should get your. This a. I think you should get your kids a really fun, whimsical stepdad.

[Steph]

Who does your taxes?

[Gabby]

Who does your taxes? Who is. Shout out is nice.

[Eldis]

You guys, can. You guys. You can fix it, baby.

[Steph]

Fix it. Please take my mom back, please.

[Gabby]

We miss you. Yeah. I think get away from this evil, manipulative man.

[Eldis]

Yeah. I mean, to me, this is like, look, I do think cheating is bad, but it is something you can get over in a relationship. Relationship, theoretically. But somebody has to really change their.

[Gabby]

You know, don't give her that.

[Eldis]

No, no. I mean, not you, but.

[Gabby]

A sort of different constitution.

[Eldis]

I think. I think everybody gets. Not everybody, but I think it's possible to get. Depending on the relationship and depending on personalities and depending on where you are in life, it's definitely possible for, you know, one case of infidelity, depending on. On personalities for somebody to get over it. Right. That's. That's. That's like not. You know, some people that. It's a hard line. Some people, it's like, let's figure it out. But when you've already forgiven somebody for a pretty up version of it, like when you're pregnant.

[Gabby]

He. Khloe Kardashian. You.

[Eldis]

Yeah, Lamar. He. Lamarder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, I'm sorry, Tristan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember. I know all the basketball players that have cheated on Khloe Kardashian from a hoops fan perspective. This is the Venn diagram. Yeah, this is the Venn diagram. You know, my Kardashians, I know them from. Great, hilarious photo of him in that hookah bar, by the way. Tristan Thompson with the guy with the

[Gabby]

girl on his lap.

[Eldis]

Yeah. I had. I had a basketball podcast at the time, so I covered it, you know, extensively.

[Gabby]

I was a journalist.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I was a journalist at the time.

[Steph]

But wasn't Lamar smoking, like, crack?

[Eldis]

Lamar was on crack. Yeah, he was. He, like, had a stroke in a. In. In a. At the Las Vegas or not the Vegas. The Cat ranch. The. Like in. In wherever. Nevada. The brothel.

[Gabby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

Henderson. Is that the town?

[Gabby]

Oh, what is that place called?

[Eldis]

I don't know.

[Gabby]

The Bunny. The Bunny Ranch.

[Eldis]

The Bunny Ranch. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Which if you're going to have a stroke on your favorite drug, getting your dick sucked by four.

[Steph]

Not bad.

[Eldis]

Not a bad.

[Gabby]

Cool way to go.

[Eldis]

But he didn't go. Yeah. And he's. He's still around. Shout out to. To Lamar a. Very honestly, an incredible. A player that was ahead of his time. A lot of players are playing that way now. He was a.

[Caller 2]

A.

[Eldis]

He was a four that had guard skills. And he was. He.

[Cyndi Lauper]

He.

[Eldis]

Kobe Bryant really got a lot out of him.

[Gabby]

Some guard.

[Eldis]

You know, actually

[Gabby]

that's actually something we might need to study with.

[Steph]

I need guard skills.

[Eldis]

Not that kind of guard. They're not like emotional guards. No.

[Gabby]

Off with his head.

[Eldis]

All right, I apologize. Anyway, I think, like, there's an I do think. And look, go to couples counseling. Go to your own therapist. Have your personal therapist confirm the hunches three comedians have right now.

[Caller]

Right.

[Eldis]

But it re. I would say if this was a close friend of mine who you are basically. Listen, everybody calls in. You know, I don't know if you're

[Gabby]

on the Patreon body for you, but subscribe.

[Eldis]

Subscribe, because, you know, I'm about to.

[Steph]

Obviously you can afford it.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You'll be. Hopefully you'll be getting a nice alimony payment soon. But pretty soon I do. If this is my friend. It was a personal friend of mine. A thousand percent. I'm saying you gotta go.

[Steph]

And also, the guy's not gonna change at this point. He's too old and cemented in his ways.

[Eldis]

But also you've kind of let him get away with it. Right? It's like he got away with it once He. And then. Then he has this weird and elder you're. They weren't an open relationship or they weren't.

[Cyndi Lauper]

She never really clarified one way or another. She said they talked about it because

[Eldis]

to me, this maybe sounds like unfortunately we. Maybe she did cheat. It's kind of he cheated, then she cheated. So if that's the case. So there's two different. Just to cover all our bases. If it was just. If it was like you took an open relationship too Far. What. Whatever. Whoever. Whoever's fault it was. It doesn't seem like it's going to work right now.

[Steph]

If.

[Eldis]

If you cheated and he didn't. I get why you maybe feel guilt, but I also feel like on some level this woman wanted to do something bad to get out so that they. No, no. So that they could be even. So that she could be like, well, now we can be.

[Steph]

I want to know her star sign.

[Gabby]

An eye for an eye.

[Steph]

I want to know if she's a water sign.

[Gabby]

Honestly, up until the open relationship, it's like, okay, an eye for an eye, whatever. But. But then when he said you look like when you start to slowly poison

[Eldis]

and kill this now. Devil's advocate, right? Let's just. So we've given the. We've given what we think. Like this seems like there's a lot of up going on. It's probably beyond repair. But again, go to your therapist, you do some real searching. Whatever. Devil's advocate, right? He cheats on her, right? He feels with. With, you know, sex workers. So it's like maybe he. In his twisted way way he's like, it's that. It's like you see those Japanese tick tocks where it's like. Is cheating with a prostitute? Is it cheating if you a prostitute? And they're like, no, it's her job.

[Gabby]

Right?

[Eldis]

In his way, he's thinking, well, I didn't have an affair. She was pregnant.

[Gabby]

She.

[Eldis]

I didn't want to bother her with my sexual desires. I tried to take care of it. It got. I regret it. Whatever. We went to therapy and then years later, I pitched an open relationship. She told me no. Then behind my back, a guy for two years or whatever. She would say, how long?

[Steph]

20 months.

[Eldis]

20 months? You know, pretty close.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And then, and now he's like, but I still love her. Let's get back into therapy. He feels cucked. Cuz he literally was right. Like in a real way. And like she had an emotional affair and she was seeing this guy.

[Steph]

You're like three seconds away from calling this woman a.

[Eldis]

Well, I'm just. I'm just. I'm just trying to lay it all.

[Cyndi Lauper]

You made your bed, you

[Eldis]

hold on. Red pill sword. Let me finish. And then you can take over.

[Gabby]

Maybe I can figure out the math on how to make this guy sound awesome.

[Eldis]

No, I'm just. I'm just saying like, I'm just giving the two sides here. This is the only way I could. This is what we could be missing potentially is what I'm saying. And then he feels cucked. He's also maybe, like, he's the kind of guy who can't really say what he feels emotionally. And that's not an excuse. And maybe this is just his, like, because some people say they can. Maybe he, unlike her, can't get over the cheating, and so now he's being passive aggressive about it, and he's like, oh, you looked better. You know, he's just lashing out this way.

[Gabby]

Also, I will say you do start to J it up when you have a crush, so she probably was.

[Steph]

By the way, he's at home.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Why is she going to look good for her ugly, weird, demented little husband who's dying actively from poison?

[Eldis]

I know. You know, like, only in your dreams is this man dying from poison.

[Gabby]

Like, why would she be hitting Soul Cycle?

[Eldis]

Well, I guess the. The argument would be because they're in a loving relationship and you want to look better for your partner. They're not. But that's. I. I'm just trying to lay it out here. El, do you want to take a fully red pull, red pill take or not really. Yeah.

[Cyndi Lauper]

There's just really no scenario where, like, even if she technically cheated or whatever, he's just a bad guy.

[Steph]

Well, we haven't heard his side of

[Eldis]

the story, and that's exactly.

[Cyndi Lauper]

But I know you're saying, like, yes, there is maybe on the technicality she did cheat or something.

[Steph]

She did cheat. She said once you're basing a relationship off technicalities, you know it's right. Yeah. You're in a bad zone.

[Eldis]

That's the thing. No matter which of the two scenarios it is, it doesn't seem like it's gonna work.

[Steph]

It doesn't sound good, even.

[Gabby]

At the very least, like, you're not keeping up with yourself in your relationship means you just don't care.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And let alone we hear how her. How she sounds.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Steph]

You sound sad as sound sad.

[Eldis]

So. I don't know, dog, you know, we laid it all out. It doesn't seem good again. Conf. Do some soul searching. Confirm these hunches with a mental health professional that's just yours, not your couple's therapist, and go from there. But m. You know, good luck.

[Steph]

Support you no matter what.

[Eldis]

Girls always do that.

[Steph]

Girls are like, you have to break up with them. It's abusive. But support you no matter what. Matter no matter what. Whatever you do, I support you.

[Gabby]

We're still getting drinks on Friday. Okay. Wow. That was very serious in a way I wasn't expecting.

[Eldis]

That's how this show goes. We make fun of them a little bit and then we give some real wisdom. You know, I've struggled with my eating over time. I'm a busy guy. I'm on the go. Imagine you had a long day and the hunger hit you. There's something healthy in your fridge that you should be making, but you just don't have it in you. If that sounds familiar to you, you need to check out Factor. With Factor, you get fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs, delivered right to your door so you can hit your nutrition goals this season without the planning grocery runs or cooking. And with over 100 rotating meals, including globally inspired flavors like Mediterranean and Asian, there's always something new to look forward to. Factor has really helped me. When I'm coming off the road, I want something quick times when I would have just ordered ordered something. I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to reach for that delicious factor. I'm digging the honey butter chicken breast. They got that zucchini just right. And the Yukon mash. Oh, that's good, my friend. Head to FactorMeals.com Stavi 50 off and use code Stavi50OFF to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until September 2027, 2026. See website for more details. If you've been sitting on a business idea, Shopify makes it easy to make it happen. Everything you need to start selling is included and ready from day one, including the moment your first customer is ready to pay. Shopify checkout helps more of them finish their purchase and when they come back, their details are already saved. One tap and they're done. And because Shopify handles the setup and check check out, you have more time to focus on growing your business and the tools to do it. It's no secret here we use Shopify on the Stavi Biz merch store. Shopify is how we sell our calendars, our T shirts. We love them. It completely leveled up our merch game when we started using Shopify. It's gonna do the same for your business. With Shopify, nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it one. Start your free trial at shopify.com stavi Start your free trial at shopify dot com stavi Beautiful.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Bring the temperature down a little here.

[Eldis]

Okay, what else we got?

[Caller 2]

Hey, Stavi Baby Elvis, Esteemed guest. I've been kind of sitting on this. I don't think so much question, but I guess I wanted to get your opinion on this. So I'm an advent collector of, like, action figures, statues, things like that.

[Eldis]

Relax.

[Caller 2]

I like being a married man now. It's kind of frowned upon. Hard, you know, buying.

[Eldis]

Is this Greg Stone

[Caller 2]

frowned upon, you know, buying all this stuff? My wife likes to save money, you know, thinks about the future. Me, not so much. But I'm on board with this. And. And we do pretty good. We're not, like, living paycheck to paycheck or anything. We're pretty good with their finances. But I've managed to.

[Eldis]

I want to get an $8,000 grou Baby Yoda, but our daughter needs braces.

[Gabby]

What do you think I should do?

[Caller 2]

Sort of hide money from her without her realizing, which I used to buy said collectibles, like, on the day she's working when I'm at the house before her.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Hilarious.

[Caller 2]

And I have made able to achieve, like, my collectibles without her knowing. And since I have so much stuff as it is, she doesn't really realize if I get something new.

[Eldis]

So you're lying to your wife and you're hoarding figurines.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Pay attention to my collection.

[Eldis]

So you're damaging the trust in your marriage to acquire Dragon Ball Z figurines, which I get. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we're just. Let's just establish. Establish that. Keep going.

[Caller 2]

Is it. Is it bad that I'm hiding money from her?

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

On this stuff? Because when I compare it to what my dad used to do with money from my mom.

[Eldis]

My dad cheated. It's like, I can't be, like.

[Steph]

When I compare it to Hitler killing all those Jews.

[Eldis]

Dude, that's hilarious to be like. Compared to my dad. My dad hit my. And I barely hit my wife.

[Gabby]

Only when she looks through my figurines.

[Eldis]

Only if she takes something out of the packaging and thus decreasing its value.

[Caller 2]

Is it. Is it bad that I'm hiding money from her and spending it on this stuff? Because when I compare it to what my dad used to do, and he would hide money from my mom and go out with Mr. And stuff, you know, like.

[Gabby]

Right. So it's a pattern.

[Caller 2]

I feel like I'm not doing bad.

[Eldis]

So that's. Compared to him, you're not.

[Caller 2]

I'd like to get your opinion on this.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Eldis]

Well, this is like. This is kind of like how, you know, even like a Chihuahua used to be a wolf. You know, I mean, like your dad. Like, his dad.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You know what I mean? It's like, yes, you have been. The viciousness has been bred out of you. Although Chihuahua was maybe not. Maybe a poodle or whatever. The. Just some white, fluffy dog. I don't know what's. What's one of those, you know, Bijon. Freeze.

[Gabby]

I'm trying to. I don't.

[Steph]

I didn't grow up with money, so I don't know.

[Eldis]

These small dogs are. That's true.

[Gabby]

That's true.

[Eldis]

Europeans don't consider dogs pets. They. They all live outside. I actually am the same way. Yeah, but basically what I'm saying is you've bred out the viciousness from these traits. Right. Like, you're not. But you're still being dishonest to your wife. And it's like, look, you're hiding it because she wouldn't want this to happen. Like, you're just doing something.

[Steph]

Where is he getting this money from?

[Eldis]

He's just socking away a little bit of his own personal.

[Steph]

For figurines.

[Gabby]

It's giving offshore accounts.

[Steph]

It's giving autism. I mean, it sounds like he has autism, right?

[Eldis]

Or. Yeah, he's just a. He's just. Yeah.

[Gabby]

He's calling into this podcast.

[Eldis]

I. Yeah, I think there's something.

[Cyndi Lauper]

There's something super interesting about the phrase he keeps repeating, hiding money, which I've never heard it. Like, that's just. That's just something.

[Steph]

A few dollars and putting it under his mattress and being like, when she's not home.

[Eldis]

Well, this is clear. You know why, Elders. It's probably because this. And even the. Because he's thinking of it in terms of his father. His father probably literally hid money.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Like, under the mat. Like, how many foreigners do. You know My. You know what I mean? Like, my. My parents had money in, like, a. In a sock drawer and like, that. I'm sure your parents had, like, a little.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Rainy day cat. That's some rainy. Real, like, foreigner. I. And. And he clearly can only think of his relationship to his wife through the paradigm of his parents.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

So I think that's why he's repeating that phrase.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Right.

[Gabby]

He's, like, so smart.

[Eldis]

I'm not that. I'm. I'm really not that.

[Gabby]

No, I think about you is that you're absolutely so cute and smart when you do this part.

[Eldis]

And you're like poison.

[Gabby]

Giving you genuine advice.

[Steph]

You would look at this through the lens.

[Eldis]

That's the thing. I know how to maybe sound. I'm just good at talking. So my dumb ideas. I can package them, but I just think. I think that, like, you got to free yourself of that just because you're dead. You're not as big. Just because you're a minor piece of compared to your dad doesn't mean you're not being a piece of. Like, would you be mad if your wife was like taking. Hiding away if you agreed to share all your stuff and she was like buying peptides? Buying. Yeah, buying nad.

[Steph]

He's like, she looks amazing though. Yeah, she looks amazing.

[Gabby]

Yeah. You're just lying is the truth.

[Steph]

And the having figurines is embarrassing.

[Eldis]

It is embarrassing, but only at least

[Gabby]

her dad was cool and was spending it on. Right.

[Eldis]

He's getting your dad sounds like my type of guy.

[Gabby]

Like figurine.

[Steph]

I would rather if my. If I found out my boyfriend was hiding money, I'd go, please tell me you're spending it on prostitutes.

[Gabby]

Please tell me you're using it to. You told me it was hookers.

[Steph]

And then I open the closet, I'm

[Eldis]

like, I'm actually entering a go kart derby. And I'm using it. I'm using it to make it more aerodynamic.

[Gabby]

It's just a bunch of plastic yokai and a katana.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Ooh, not bad.

[Gabby]

Yeah, pretty cool.

[Eldis]

So look, dude, I just think two things are here. Two things are going on here. A is the, like, clearly you're thinking of everything through the way your parents relationship was, which is how everybody starts, right? That's. That's the kind of the ba. You're talking about. Freud. That's kind of the basics basis of like psychology, you know, especially our little armchair psychology we're doing here. But also you're embarrassed of your little hobby.

[Steph]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Eldis]

And it's. And, and I would say don't be embarrassed. That's the thing. You got to free yourself of the embarrassment. Look, you're a grown man. You're in a nice marriage. You're not gonna. As much as we do think your dad is cooler. It's better to not be cool when you're like 50 and married.

[Gabby]

You're a good guy.

[Eldis]

You want to be a good guy. You want to be a good dad, you want to be a good husband.

[Gabby]

Right? Sorry.

[Eldis]

I assume he is. He's a little.

[Steph]

At the end, the last thing in the voicemails, he's like, I'm also beating

[Gabby]

my wife with my figurines.

[Eldis]

So. So yeah, dude, I think you have to free yourself of your shame for your little hobby. It's fine. It's. It's fine to. You know, it's. It actually is. The reality is, and something I am struggling with is like, there Is a moment in someone's life. Life where it is not cool to get as a man. Like when you're like the shift when you're like 40, 50. Like how many pathetic old comedians do we know?

[Gabby]

Scary.

[Eldis]

It's actually maybe some. Some of them are. Maybe those are some of the DMS you're talking about. But like when you're like a 50 year old guy with like veneers and plugs being. And trying to a 22 year old. That's sad. Right? It actually being a dork who provides for his family and like doesn't do anything for up that in your. That's good. That actually is what being a good guy is. That's. That is cooler in the grand sense. And then listen. Yeah, Steph, write that down.

[Cyndi Lauper]

It.

[Eldis]

You shouldn't date drug addicts just cuz your dad was one. Doesn't mean you have to recreate the cycle. Stop being forced into open relationships at gunpoint point by guys that probably weren't that good to begin with. If we're being honest. I don't know. I'm just guessing. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know these guys. I'm just. Again, call it an educated hunch. But so. So you just have to just stop. Stop lying to your wife and just be like. And just look at this as any other hobby and just look at this. Any other budgeting thing.

[Gabby]

Be a dork.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Being a dork is cute. Remove snack a and fun.

[Steph]

Shame is a low frequency emotion.

[Eldis]

Okay, I've heard of. It's so high frequency is good.

[Steph]

High frequency is good vibration. You want to be vibrating high and then you manifest. You're at the same vibration as manifesting vibration.

[Eldis]

Interesting.

[Gabby]

Oh, so it's magical.

[Eldis]

So if you're not at the right vibration, you're. You're.

[Steph]

You're attracting more bad. Well, because you attract what you are. So if you're shameful, you're going to attract shameful situations. Embarrassment, shame, jealousy.

[Gabby]

Life is a mirror.

[Steph]

You want to be happy and then good happen. You are what you see.

[Eldis]

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay. Interesting. Interesting.

[Gabby]

I also love a person with figurines. My mom was also a figurine person. I love a. I love a little figurines.

[Eldis]

Like little ones.

[Gabby]

Not Star wars, but Star Trek.

[Eldis]

Star Trek. Really? Mom? Your mom was a nerd.

[Gabby]

My mom's total nerd.

[Eldis]

Cool.

[Gabby]

I'm also a total nerd. I like fantasy. I like. I like someone who has a little thing and like it has to stay in the Box. Because it's you.

[Steph]

Don't let the blonde extensions fool you.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gabby]

I think it's fun. I think being a dork is cool.

[Eldis]

Tell people about that more. I think it would make you more likable.

[Gabby]

Was me saying I have perfect mental health. Not likable.

[Steph]

Are we the most unlikable?

[Gabby]

I thought everyone liked us.

[Eldis]

But I'm having a reality. You're here, dumbasses. You're. I like you. But it is. That's very endearing, actually, that you're into dorky.

[Gabby]

Yeah. I like fantasy. I like creatures. I like magic.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

So I think that's exciting. I, I.

[Eldis]

What kind of are you. Do you go sword?

[Gabby]

And I could do little knives.

[Eldis]

Little knives.

[Gabby]

And then I could do nothing.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gabby]

Just hand to hand. I could do sort of magic. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Doing this.

[Gabby]

Yeah, this.

[Eldis]

Did you ever. Did you have. Do you have, like, a character that you do?

[Gabby]

No.

[Eldis]

Or an outfit? Did you. Did you ever larp.

[Steph]

No, we. But we went to the Renaissance. We went to the Renaissance fair, and it was the best day of our lives, hands down.

[Gabby]

And I still have the ears, and sometimes I wear them on ZOOM meetings.

[Eldis]

Hell, yeah.

[Steph]

It was real. That was the best day of my life.

[Gabby]

Genuinely. I think people should be more immersed in the magic realm.

[Eldis]

So you. You're. You went elf ears.

[Gabby]

I'm an elf ears. Sort of warrior. Elf.

[Steph]

She went warrior.

[Eldis]

You did witch.

[Steph]

I did. Ouch.

[Eldis]

Sorceress.

[Steph]

I went.

[Gabby]

That's exactly right. She did. Sort of a dark.

[Eldis]

I'm not wrong.

[Steph]

I did Faye, which is a dark fairy.

[Eldis]

Oh, cool. Do you have wings?

[Gabby]

That's actually a FA is not a dark fairy. A fay is just a shortened term for fairy. So don't. You know that's not the truth. Let's put a dark fay is.

[Steph]

But I was.

[Eldis]

You were a dark fa. Cool. That's cool.

[Steph]

It was so fun.

[Eldis]

Yeah, that sounds awesome.

[Steph]

I've never felt more beautiful than I did in those years.

[Gabby]

There's a real freedom to being a dork, and I think you being shameful of that is something you really need to dissolve. Because being a dork is hot, famously.

[Eldis]

Okay.

[Gabby]

And your wife already knew you were a dor. Also, your wife has looked through all your. Yeah.

[Steph]

Wait, is there a secret. Did he say there's a secret drawer? Like, where is he hiding all these figurines?

[Eldis]

No, he's just saying that she doesn't really give a about this. Or she doesn't know when. Like a new.

[Steph]

She's not talking how much money he's putting towards.

[Gabby]

That means that she doesn't care. So just tell her you want a new $109.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Woman with big tits.

[Eldis]

Oh, that sounds cool.

[Gabby]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Eldis]

And that's a figurine or what is that? Cuz if I could buy one of those for 109. 109. Not a bad rate.

[Steph]

You want to marry a dork?

[Gabby]

You want to marry a fanatic of sorts.

[Eldis]

Somebody who's into their thing. They're not like, you know, they're.

[Steph]

They don't have a wandering eye.

[Eldis]

Totally, totally. Because they're trying to get a. You're what? Their. Their eye is focused on the you. But Boba Fett's coming out.

[Steph]

Yes.

[Eldis]

So, yeah, dude, this is actually not a big deal. It's cute that this is your biggest problem in your marriage.

[Gabby]

It's actually so cute.

[Eldis]

And all you have to do is start telling your wife, like, hey, I want to buy. Just run it by. I mean, you're not exactly. It's more that you think you're lying. It's like, would she even give a. I guess that's the other thing. What is your situation? Do you guys just say, oh, we put all our money together. Do you keep your own stuff? Like, does she have her own account for. For like that she wants. Are you guys. Is she like a. This is more of a problem. She's like one of those people that really strictly budgets and it's very important.

[Steph]

Or if they're like broke. Like.

[Eldis]

We know.

[Gabby]

But he said he wasn't living paycheck to paycheck, and they do good. So I think it's actually.

[Cyndi Lauper]

He also said being a married man now, it's kind of frowned upon, which makes me think he is getting a little energy from her. That it's like, all right, enough of these.

[Gabby]

I was too old for it.

[Eldis]

But also it could be. Be that he may. Again, some of this is soul searching. Are you overdoing it?

[Gabby]

How are you spending $10,000 a month?

[Eldis]

Is this every week?

[Steph]

That's information.

[Eldis]

You know what I mean? Like. Or you just like having one awesome one that you really like. You know what I'm saying?

[Gabby]

Or what you can do because you have kids is you could just do that. Is your. Do they have kids?

[Eldis]

I think it was the last call.

[Steph]

I don't think they have kids.

[Eldis]

I didn't hear kids.

[Steph]

I don't know how old these people are.

[Gabby]

Oh, I was going to say you could disguise this addiction, buying things for

[Steph]

the kids more Lies.

[Gabby]

Sort of a lie on a lie.

[Steph]

A Russian essay.

[Gabby]

But I also get this in terms of, like, I buy a lot of things from Amazon, and I feel embarrassed when my neighbors see all my packages.

[Eldis]

Well, consumerism is embarrassing, right? And, like, looking for happiness in things is embarrassing, but building a collection that you like, that you like, that you take some. You know that. That these are things that have some sentimental value, value to you. It's. That's, you know, reason being in this stuff. Within reason. I think there needs to be some middle ground here where probably you have to put a limit on yourself, because doing it in the shadows means that you're going crazy.

[Steph]

Right?

[Eldis]

This is. He's kind of getting the thrill of an affair by buying a new. You know what I'm saying?

[Gabby]

Like, secrets.

[Eldis]

It's a little bit of a. So it's like, just put it out in the open, talk to your wife and be like, hey, I love doing this. I don't do anything else else. Like, can't. I just want what's an acceptable amount? Let's actually work through our finances and see what's the amount. I can't. That you would be comfortable with me spending a month.

[Steph]

Chachki budget on the.

[Eldis]

Yeah, give me a Chotchki budget. She doesn't want to know day to day what it is.

[Gabby]

I want that on a T shirt so bad.

[Eldis]

Chachki budget.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

That could be your new escort. The good ones you can do. You could do two productions. Multiple productions, multiple chachis. Yeah. I think this isn't that big a deal, right?

[Gabby]

I think you're totally cute.

[Eldis]

It's cute. It is an adorable problem to have. What else we got? Little Elun.

[Gabby]

I really want to know.

[Steph]

Hi, Savi. Hi, Elvis.

[Caller]

Hi, esteemed guest. Short story long, I am 27.

[Steph]

I'm in my first year of law

[Eldis]

school, about to be my second.

[Caller]

Haven't had a real boyfriend in a couple years, and I am finally seeing someone I may be a little excited about. And I'm wondering what you guys think the appropriate length of time and kind

[Eldis]

of general progression is towards arriving in boyfriend town.

[Caller]

When do you think you should, like,

[Steph]

somebody enough to know that it's boyfriend time?

[Caller]

And also, like, you know, hypothetically, if potential boyfriend in question was, like, 38 and not in his late 20s like me, how would that affect your thought process?

[Eldis]

Well, that's either really good news or really bad news.

[Steph]

He's either.

[Eldis]

He's either excited to have a girlfriend, or he's got Peter Pan.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Steph]

I will say I think both you and I know immediately upon meeting someone if they're going to be our boyfriend.

[Gabby]

Yeah, it's like a third eye situation where you close your eyes open in

[Steph]

your third and you could tell you go yeah. And I don't know if that's healthy.

[Eldis]

When you say immediately you mean first date or you mean like the second you lay eyes on them?

[Steph]

Or you could sort of just scan

[Gabby]

a soul is the only way I can put it. I almost.

[Steph]

For me it's not even like. It's not even like what I want. It's what I know I'm destined for.

[Eldis]

Jesus Christ.

[Gabby]

It's more of like whispers from beyond the veil.

[Steph]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

No, just because you just. Cuz you've wrapped up helplessness and fucking spirituality bullshit. Take some fucking agency over your lives. Jesus Christ. I want better for both of you.

[Gabby]

I have agents to do the agency.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Thank you.

[Eldis]

In your personal life you have a, you have a, you have a personal relationship agent.

[Gabby]

I think you know immediately if this man is going to be your boyfriend. And then slowly you collect data. And then once you have enough data data to determine if the equation makes sense.

[Steph]

Plus he's old, right? So like it should actually he should be like trying to lock it down faster.

[Gabby]

If he's not locking it down fast.

[Eldis]

Well speak as a 37 year old man who I, I. It depends what state of his. Maybe he's really busy right now. Maybe hypothetically he's on

[Gabby]

a man goes I'm really busy right now.

[Steph]

What do you doing?

[Eldis]

Gay.

[Steph]

Why are you so busy?

[Eldis]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, sorry.

[Steph]

Work's been crazy.

[Gabby]

Right.

[Caller 2]

Sorry.

[Gabby]

I'm planning on getting married when I'm 49.

[Eldis]

That did. I will say I used to say I was too busy and now I'm like oh, this is being too busy.

[Cyndi Lauper]

I don't.

[Eldis]

I'm never in New York. I have like four different jobs now. I actually am like I can't. But when I was like but what

[Steph]

if I really likes a girl? He will, he will make fly them everywhere you.

[Eldis]

If he really likes her, fly him everywhere.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Jesus.

[Eldis]

You really, really do believe in yourself a lot.

[Gabby]

No, I'm talking about you.

[Eldis]

Oh me? Yeah. I would. Yeah. That's actually.

[Steph]

Well, are you flying girls out currently?

[Eldis]

No, I literally do. I mean I also have a broken arm and a pinched.

[Steph]

Excuses, excuses.

[Eldis]

And I'm working. Can I heal from my injuries before

[Gabby]

I get a. I have a peptide for that anyway.

[Eldis]

No, but it. We're. I do think we are both right. We're. I I like yes, that is if you really wanted to, I suppose you could. I mean it's just a matter of your. Also your psychology and all this other whatever. But. Yeah, that's why I said in the beginning it's either great cuz he's going to want to lock it down or it's bad in that he has. He's a. Maybe he's an air sign. You know that could be a real problem. I just have to talk to them in ways they understand. We're both like. We both really took a moment there.

[Gabby]

Too.

[Steph]

Abusive.

[Cyndi Lauper]

If you ask him and he starts talking about what sign he is, that's a pretty bad sign.

[Eldis]

Saturday 6am then yeah, he is. Shit's not going good.

[Gabby]

I think as someone who has rushed into so many things in this life in terms of men, I think Take your. Take your time.

[Steph]

Take your time, take your time. Because actually this is the best, best part. It only gets worse after this.

[Gabby]

Well, that's not true.

[Eldis]

But hopefully not. I mean as of now for you.

[Steph]

I just think when you're like falling for someone and you're like what is

[Eldis]

it like the first month when you're kind of figuring it out is awesome.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Steph]

And you're being.

[Gabby]

I love getting love.

[Steph]

I love me. I love.

[Gabby]

I don't understand why that's bad.

[Steph]

I never understood it.

[Eldis]

Yep, yep.

[Gabby]

Feels good every time.

[Steph]

If you're watching this, we want to be love bomb. Please, please.

[Gabby]

Yeah, I think take your time. You're in escuela. You're learning, you know like well but you.

[Eldis]

Okay, so you've given this woman contradictory advice. You've said either you will know the moment you see him. Yeah. And now it's take your fucking time. There's gotta be. So let's give her some, some concrete advice of like. So I know what you mean though. Where you're like this is somebody that you know on a first date where the. This person has the prospect of becoming a boy if they qualify for potential boyfriend.

[Steph]

Well I also wanna know what she' really asking because if she's asking it feels like she really likes him. And I'm curious of what she's actually asking is he hasn't stated that he wants a relationship yet. How long is it appropriate for me to wait for the guy to bring it up? Because this feels like a conundrum every woman is in all the time which is you meet a guy the woman kind of knows quicker than the. The guy is going to try to stay single as long as possible. How long do you wait for the guy to.

[Eldis]

Right, right.

[Steph]

And that's like, questions that have been asked by Aristotle and me today at brunch. So Aristotelina ar know me, so I don't know. And also let me know if you figure it out.

[Gabby]

I'm gonna put a time on it. Two months.

[Eldis]

Two months and then what? She has the conversation, and you have

[Gabby]

a conversation at 2 months.

[Steph]

If he doesn't know by 2 months.

[Gabby]

Active dating after 2 months, you could be like, so, what's going on here?

[Eldis]

And what, are you seeing each other once a week? Or what are we talking about in two months? Is it like a real.

[Steph]

You're living together by that point?

[Gabby]

At this point, I'm like, filing for divorce.

[Steph]

Yeah. Gabby dates a guy that moves in immediately.

[Eldis]

That's awesome. I like that.

[Gabby]

But it works. It works.

[Eldis]

So never.

[Gabby]

Hey, I'm dating a guy who was once in jail.

[Eldis]

He ever find out if he's team.

[Gabby]

He said jail. Cullen.

[Eldis]

Cullen. Nice. That's the right one answer.

[Steph]

Right answer.

[Eldis]

He asked what way?

[Gabby]

Yeah, no reason.

[Eldis]

That's what I. Oh, jail's not as bad as prison. She's not a bad. I mean, prison's fine. Our.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Our.

[Eldis]

Our. Our system is a nightmare. Our criminal justice system is a nightmare.

[Gabby]

I would date anyone in jail or prison.

[Eldis]

Well, not. I wouldn't go that far, depending on what you did. Yeah. But I do think we can offer two. The two perspectives on this issue, actually. And, yeah, I think you're probably on the money, where it's like, I would say even a little faster than that, if we're being honest.

[Steph]

Really?

[Gabby]

Really?

[Steph]

As a man, you think that, you

[Eldis]

know, as a man who's like. Because two months, basically, it's like, I do think there is something fucked up about, like, you know, again, this depends on the psychology of the guy, because some people see it as like, oh, I don't. Until I have to be in a relationship, I'm not going to. Right. Which is like, you know, it's a childish way of thinking. It's like an immature way of being like, ooh, let's see how long, how much. Even though I like this girl, I can fuck a couple more girls and it's not cheating. You know what I mean? Like, I want to. I want to be able to do this on a technicality. And I would say the Runway. The longer that goes on, the harder it is to then start a real relationship. In my. In my experience, I.

[Steph]

Damage gets done.

[Eldis]

I would say I have been given too long a leash many Times and have by and have fudge up the relationship as a result.

[Gabby]

Right.

[Eldis]

I'm just, I'm speaking directly about me right now where it's like, I would like to actually be forced to think about.

[Steph]

But would you accept a woman after a month being like, so what are we?

[Eldis]

Or would you be like, oh, well, it depends, right? It's a month. How many times have we seen each other?

[Gabby]

Two times a week.

[Eldis]

Let's say two times a week. I mean, you're talking about eight hangouts.

[Steph]

I just dated someone for six months and was like, oh, this is how it's supposed to be. You're supposed to take a long time to figure out.

[Eldis]

I think we all just live in New York and are in business and we have warped minds. And that's what I'm coming around to because I'm trying to fix, I'm trying not to be a 38 year old who behaves this way.

[Caller]

Yeah, right.

[Eldis]

Against everything in my DNA. You know what I mean?

[Gabby]

Like, so if you want a girlfriend and you're dating a girl, so you're already open to the idea of having

[Steph]

a girlfriend, well now you're bringing in something else. Now you bring up traffic light theory, right? Which is that when a man doesn't want to be in a relationship, the best girls can pass him by and he wants. You won't fold. But a man who goes into dating wanting to be in a relationship, pretty much the first girl he's down, it's called the taxi. Whereas women operate opposite. I like, well, us, but like, it's not like we're ever looking to be in a relationship. We just meet a person, we're like, oh, I like them. I'll be in a relationship with them.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I do think that there's a little bit of that. Like. Yeah, I don't know. I mean I, I do think that probably does make like if it, if for me personally, it's like, I don't know, I just haven't been in a relationship because I've unfortunately, I have put my career for above everything too much and I'm trying to stop doing that.

[Caller]

Right?

[Eldis]

But I would say, yeah, if I'm seeing somebody, it's like I, I like, I like when somebody has that conversation because then it's like, listen, then we can just be on the same page, right? And by the way, I do, I am very open now where I'm like, listen, I just don't, I tell if I'm, if I'm seeing somebody, I'm like, there's just no way right now in my life I will do this. And I totally understand if you don't want to, you know, see me a second time or whatever the it is. Right. Like, or even say it on if, if, if I, I mean, I'm barely going. If I ever go on dates, barely. But it's like, I'm just, I'll just say that I'm like, this is clearly where I'm at. And I've worked on just communicating that instead of just being like, how long will she let me get away with this? Right? Like, because you don't want to set the relationship relationship up in the context of him feeling like he's getting away with something until you force him in a very traditional gender roles nagging way to lock it.

[Steph]

I'm just, I'm just realizing a lot. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Steph]

I'm just having a meltdown.

[Gabby]

There was sort of a physical reaction.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Sorry. But that, that's my perspective as somebody who has been a piece of in the past. Right. Who's been like, just who and who then, you know, I'm, I don't want to, I'm, I'm stopping that behavior. But it was like a thing of like, first you just like, see how long it'll go. And then I would get a. Like when I had the conversation, I'd be like, no, I don't want to do this. And then I realized, oh, wait, I actually really like that. Like, I have to. I have some real hang ups with intimacy. And like, what I mean, you, you. The bad family stuff I think does make for me and not bad. I mean, you know, my mom, my mom's an angel. My dad, you know, a flawed individual, but he did his best. Whatever. But to me, what I learned growing up is like, love is a burden. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, my loved ones were the ones that like, I was taught, obligate. My dad would complain about having to come to America because of us. You know what I mean? And then my mom, who's great, I saw her being overworked by like, she was the one who loved my dad, but she did everything to keep. So like. And nobody I grew up with, none of their parents were in good relationships. Right? Like almost. No, but not nobody. Literally the one shining example I had, the, like one of the greatest guys of all time got brain cancer. And it was like God was be

[Steph]

like, literally what I told everyone I had.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the most up. So to me, when I was in my 20s and maybe even, yeah, through my, my 20s and maybe even early 30s. That would trigger this, this thing to me of like, oh, now I have to be. Now I have to be what? This obligation. Which of course is crazy.

[Gabby]

Suffocated.

[Eldis]

Exactly. Which of course is incredible. Insane. And if you fight through that, then you get the only, like, relationship I had that ever worked, even long term. I had that feeling. I fought through it and we had like a good year and a half, but too much damage had been done during the leash era. You know what I mean? So.

[Steph]

And then Mel also self sabotage, which is crazy. Which women don't really do as much as men.

[Eldis]

Totally.

[Steph]

Like, men will be like, this feels good and I'm scared that it's going to actually work out, so I'm going

[Eldis]

to like, blow it up 100%.

[Gabby]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Eldis]

And I'm done. I don't do that. And so anyway, that my perspective as a guy who is trying to cure these ills that have historically plagued me, that's what I would say, is that it's okay to have this conversation. And by the way, it's okay to date monogamously and not seriously.

[Caller 2]

Right.

[Gabby]

You can't.

[Steph]

I was going to say, like, just date someone and just like, don't date around and if it doesn't work, it doesn't.

[Eldis]

But also have that conversation. You'd be like, hey, it's not. I don't want, like, I like you. Like, I'm not interested in dating other people. Would you like to be exclusive, you know, and then go from there? But there's, I do think, and part of my hang up too was thinking that just saying somebody's my girlfriend means that we're married. Where it's like, no, you can date somebody for a month. You could have a girlfriend for a month and it's not a big deal.

[Gabby]

Break up. You could break up.

[Eldis]

Yeah, you could break up. You can always break up. So I do think sooner rather than later. It is generally pretty good. I think anywhere between, depending on the, you know, potency of how much you're hanging out. It's also like one month where you see each other three times a week is a lot different than one month where you see each other three times total. Right.

[Gabby]

And I think ultimately, like, just enjoy the pace. Just enjoy the pace.

[Eldis]

But she does feel like she already has feelings for this guy or she's

[Gabby]

like, should I make him my best boyfriend?

[Caller]

True.

[Steph]

She doesn't like him.

[Gabby]

Oh, it's been, it's been this amount of time like, should I be having this conversation or are you just sort of like.

[Steph]

I think it's so annoying also that it always. The woman always does it. Like the. I've never once had a guy be like, so what are we, right?

[Caller 2]

You know?

[Steph]

You have.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Who?

[Steph]

Not me. Not realizing that you're going to have to say publicly.

[Eldis]

But I'm like, maybe a few people. Has it happen to you?

[Gabby]

More than several.

[Steph]

Really?

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

See? See what would happen if you. If you put a little light in those eyes. That happens, though. It does happen.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Okay.

[Steph]

It's okay.

[Eldis]

You really should try. You should try dating a different type of guy.

[Gabby]

Yeah, maybe.

[Eldis]

You got to break a pattern.

[Steph]

I need this.

[Cyndi Lauper]

A guy with collectible figurines.

[Gabby]

That's what you really actually need.

[Steph]

A nerd.

[Caller 2]

Nerd.

[Eldis]

Five, four, Nerd.

[Gabby]

A tiny little nerd who's hiding money from you.

[Steph]

Yeah. Well, then that means he has money.

[Eldis]

There we go.

[Steph]

That's already a step up.

[Cyndi Lauper]

There we go.

[Eldis]

There you go. So, yeah, good luck.

[Gabby]

Seriously, good luck.

[Eldis]

Good luck, baby girl. You got something fun for us to go out? And by the way, do you have anything you gals want to plug here? We don't know when this comes. Probably comes out.

[Gabby]

You could follow us on Instagram.

[Steph]

We're releasing.

[Gabby]

We're starting a podcast together with On Dear Media.

[Eldis]

Do you have a date next month?

[Gabby]

In the next month.

[Eldis]

Okay, well, let us know. Actually, we might be able to coordinate when it comes out.

[Gabby]

Oh, that would be nice.

[Steph]

It's called I'll go if you go.

[Gabby]

Yep.

[Eldis]

Oh, that's a good.

[Gabby]

It's the two of us, Chad.

[Eldis]

Love it.

[Steph]

And. And we will also be releasing a travel series that goes along with that

[Gabby]

that we shot in the uk.

[Eldis]

That's awesome.

[Gabby]

We shot like a. How many episodes it is it? Eight.

[Caller]

Eight.

[Gabby]

We shot at eight episodes.

[Steph]

Picture Anthony Bourdain, but you get no information. Yeah, we're raging.

[Gabby]

We don't eat.

[Steph]

We don't eat at all.

[Gabby]

And we're alive.

[Eldis]

That's fun. Being alive is important. So check that out. Check those out.

[Gabby]

And then we're both on tour. Come see us on tour and you can find us on social media.

[Eldis]

Go see the gals on tour. You know, I am a homeowner in Baltimore City. Not quite in New York, where I live most of the the time I'm not doing that well just yet. But in Baltimore, I'm a homeowner and I do a couple DIY projects. You know, improving my bathroom. Getting a new closet organization system installed. Doing things yourself. Isn't just about saving money. It's knowing the job was done right on your schedule without overpriced, unreliable service contracts. Other pest control companies charge hundreds of dollars, but with Pest Pesti, you can get started at just $35 per treatment with a customized plan based on your location, bugs and climate. Pesti gets rid of over 100 types of bugs, from spiders and ants to roaches and scorpions. Their DIY kit includes a sprayer, mixing bag, pesticide gloves, and instructions you can complete in less than 10 minutes. Such an easy experience using Pesti when I first moved to my new apartment in New York, unfortunately had some water bugs, roaches, I don't know what you're gonna call them. Got with Pesti, cleared it right up. I love it. You're gonna love it. What are you waiting for? Fix your bug problem before it gets worse. Go to pesti.comstavi for an extra 10% off your order today. That's P-S-T-I-E.comstavi for an extra ten percent off. You know, I'm a valued customer at many different establishments. And I gotta say, these days, the loyalty programs, the status programs, it's. It doesn't feel like I'm getting my bang for my buck. I won't put an airline on blast. You know, I felt like their loyalty program has kind of taken a nosedive. My coffee shop at my neighborhood, they need a lot of punches for me to get one free measly drip coffee. But have you ever heard of Cash app green? They're doing it the right way. When you spend at least $500 a month with a Cash app card or Cash Green, Cash App pay, you earn green status unlocking benefits like up to $200 of free overdraft coverage, higher borrow limits and custom personalized cash back offers. We're on tour right now. I'm getting Cash App. I'm using it to give give Elda some petty cash. Hey, pick up some burritos for the whole squad, all right? Go out there, tap your Cash app card. Take the money from me. We're using Cash App six ways to Sunday around and you should be to download Cash App today for a limited time, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use the code CASH APP10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash app is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member FDIC Cash App Green overdraft coverage. Borrow cash back Offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. Brand visit Cash App Legal podcast for full disclosures. All right, great. I'll just play us a fun one to go out on. Little buddy.

[Caller 2]

Listen, Savvy eldest, beautiful guest. I'm sorry, I left another voicemail. Ignore that one. We're going to use this one as our main going forward. I just want to ask.

[Eldis]

Hey, just. You don't have to do that. Guys. People do that a lot when they're like, sorry, just left a voicemail. The first one wasn't good.

[Steph]

We never.

[Eldis]

We don't give a. Yeah.

[Steph]

We never knew that.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Every voicemail is a new beginning. Eldest, no one knows.

[Eldis]

Yes. You think eldest goes through all the voicemails? We probably have such incredible calls that we don't get to. Because the only time Eldis ever combs through the voicemails is 20 minutes before an episode.

[Cyndi Lauper]

I go through them sometimes.

[Gabby]

I'll see like, like, all right, I do do do my job.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Sometimes I'll see five in a row from the same number. I'm only listening to the last one, so just keep that in mind.

[Eldis]

Just how housekeeping. Don't fucking do this going forward because now you've. Now we just lost nine seconds with the explanation.

[Cyndi Lauper]

And it also creates like a bad fat. Like you're starting with just someone trusting you.

[Gabby]

It's low frequency.

[Steph]

Low frequency behavior.

[Cyndi Lauper]

You're like, whoever's hearing this is automatically thinking, oh, this guy's stupid. This is gonna be a waste of time. This person can't express themselves. But if you're calling back to express your. Yourself.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Correctly.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Cyndi Lauper]

This is your chance to know.

[Eldis]

No one has to know. Go ahead, Eldis.

[Caller 2]

I just want to ask, is it okay to deny women coming to the boys poker night? Here is the situation. We've got a boys poker night. Happens a couple times a year. First few times, it was just the boys. It was never explicitly stated. Stated that wives and girlfriends were or were not allowed. But my buddy, he's got a wife, she really likes poker. She appeared at the last poker night when he was hosting. But for this.

[Eldis]

You mean she was her house at her own home. Keep going, El.

[Caller 2]

This upcoming one one we've got a different bro who is hosting the poker night. And I just need to know, can he deny no house rules. My buddy bringing his wife to the poker night. If it was never explicitly stated house rules, that it should be boys only. Basically, I was talking to this guy and what we decided was that we cannot deny her to this one. You're right, because it would be unexpected, expected. But for all poker nights moving forward, we would just.

[Eldis]

What are you gonna issue a memorandum? All poker nights going forward.

[Gabby]

Announcement announced.

[Eldis]

Attention, one woman. We don't want to hang out with

[Gabby]

Melissa, you can no longer come to the poker.

[Steph]

It also feels.

[Eldis]

It's just one woman wants to come.

[Steph]

Yeah, I. I get.

[Eldis]

I do understand the frustration in. In that, like, look, sometimes you just want to be with the boys. You want to have a dumbass evening with just the fellas. Whatever.

[Gabby]

Also the inverse of that's when you're a girl's night and a girl brings her boyfriend. You're like, what the.

[Eldis]

When I've been dating someone, I accidentally end up in a hang that. Like, it wasn't ex. It wasn't explicitly a girl. But it's like, it just so happened that I, by poor planning, ended up being the only guy there. Nobody's. I'm not happy. No one's. And if you find yourself in that position, here's what you do. Be charming for 20 minutes, ask everybody how they're doing, and then be like, ah, something came up. Gotta go. That's all. And buy a round of drinks and get the fuck out of there. Right? That's. That's what you gotta do.

[Caller]

I get.

[Eldis]

I get where you're coming from because, yes, sometimes you just want a thing. But this girl already came.

[Caller 2]

She.

[Eldis]

By the way, she likes poker. She's not like a poser, which means she's good. She's not like. She's not like, pick me. She's like, she really likes. Likes poker like this. So I say, I think what you want to do here is you have to rebrand. Poker has been. Poker has been. Unfortunately for you, the Supreme Court has ruled, and poker has now opened. Has been open to women. There's no putting the toothpaste back in the tube.

[Steph]

We lost Roe v. Wade, but we

[Eldis]

got a poker right, Right, right, right. That's actually true. Actually, we did. I guess we overturned Roe v. Wade. Maybe you can have men's. Just the boys at poker night. But legally, I think for this social circle, the precedent has been set.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

That poker night is co. So I would even say open it up a little more. Right?

[Gabby]

Like date.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Yeah. Yes, yes. Gender. Why open up gen. Make it fluid. I would say now poker night could be a little more of a part. You know the cause. You'll host poker games, and it's like, it's couples usually, right? Or is it bros.

[Cyndi Lauper]

It's usually bros, but.

[Eldis]

But no one's like, I think they

[Steph]

have to make a second secret poker game for boys.

[Eldis]

Well, that's what I was going to say. What you have to do is underground. What you have to do is game. Yes, exactly. This has become an open game. Right.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Now you need this executive game from the Sopranos. Right. Now you need the. The. But. But what you do. Now you have to rebrand because poker has been lost as the boys activity. Activity. You say it's only happens twice a month, you know, twice a year. They said. This is clearly not about poker. This is about the fellas hanging out. So now you need to rebrand and have, like, fellas night or like a game or.

[Caller 2]

Or.

[Eldis]

Or put it around a. A sports thing.

[Gabby]

Think about things that women confirmed don't want to do.

[Eldis]

Right. Say you're gonna have a. A Steven Seagal movie marathon. Yeah, right. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, but I would. I would really. Like. Like, if we want to hang out, like, you know, we. We just. Me Elderson, Me elderson, his lovely wife had a great Saturday in industry city. We were hanging out. Like, we have no problem. Like, you know, all me, all our friend group. Like, we'll hang out in whatever configuration. But there's nights where if. If your wife came to my apartment where we're watching Hong Kong action movies, getting high, it's like she doesn't want to be there.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

So, like, there's nothing wrong with occasionally having some, you know, siloed activity, but I do think poker night you have now cannot be that. So just say, like, you know, we're going to go. It's just fellas night or whatever. The. However you want to say it.

[Steph]

Applebee's.

[Eldis]

Yeah, Applebee's. Dollaritos.

[Gabby]

Apps. App sampler.

[Steph]

Half app sampler.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Yep.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Yeah. I think you could just make poker night sort of a sexy situation now.

[Eldis]

Casino night game. They're kind of hot.

[Gabby]

Yeah, the old bring a date. It's kind of like dinner for schmucks,

[Steph]

but it's just hot girls and also everyone. This guy's wife.

[Eldis]

That's not what dinner for schmucks is like at all, by the way. What do you mean by that? You mean, like, you're just a. Instead of bringing a weird guy, you have to bring a hot woman.

[Gabby]

You have a plus one.

[Eldis]

You just mean.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Having a date.

[Steph]

Different smoks that movie about plus ones.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Gabby's frame of reference for dinner RS is just a Dinner smoke situation is inviting someone somewhere to an event

[Gabby]

do sort of a dinner sh for invite a friend.

[Eldis]

But with hot girls, I think poker

[Steph]

day should be a gang bang.

[Eldis]

I think I should run a train on his wife.

[Steph]

I think everyone should run train on your wife.

[Eldis]

Or you know what if you drive really want to freak her out and be like, you and your boys got to suck each other off in front of her. You're like, this is what happens at poker night. Yeah.

[Gabby]

That's when we're. We're being a little gay.

[Eldis]

Then she'll get out of there.

[Gabby]

I also do think you can have a reasonable conversation with this wife and be like Melissa. I'm assuming her name is Melissa.

[Steph]

I also was thinking Melissa did that up.

[Gabby]

I recently said it.

[Steph]

Okay. That's what it was.

[Eldis]

I thought you said Alyssa. Oh, okay.

[Gabby]

Melissa, we kind of want to have a boy tonight.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Steph]

I actually totally disagree with you. I think like if it's just one woman, you can kick her her out.

[Eldis]

That to me seems more if it was a few women, it feels like to one woman seems more harsh.

[Steph]

But why is like already it's like, girl, why are you at the boys poker tonight?

[Eldis]

Cuz she likes poker night.

[Steph]

Go start a girl's poker night.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Steph]

What does she hate? Women.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Oh, good. Accuser of being of having.

[Steph]

She's.

[Eldis]

She's accuser of having internalized misogyny.

[Gabby]

Yeah, right.

[Steph]

You're not being a girl's girl.

[Gabby]

You're not being a girl's girl at the party.

[Steph]

Yeah. You're trying to your husband's friends. And why are you wearing that?

[Gabby]

Why'd you show up in that?

[Eldis]

Okay, I mean, let's do. I guess I just think like I'm putting myself in a position where it's all my guy friends and one of their wives loves poker and I like this person. Right. Like I wouldn't want to hurt my my friends because she's my friend too and she's shown that she really likes it. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings and be like, you can't come anymore because it's just. Because like what we're trying to get out of it can be achieved in a non poker way. It can be achieved by just going out to a bar and getting drinks together. It can be achieved by watching a movie together and getting high. Like it. You just want to have locker. You just want to feel like you're in the locker room again. Right. And you don't need to play poker to do that. And if one of my friends, really, who happens to be a girl, really likes, you know, the activity we're doing. It's like, I wouldn't want to be mean to her. That's. That's how I see it.

[Steph]

So much better of a person.

[Gabby]

So nice. So crazy. I've been really overwhelmed. Like, overcome.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

We're talking about my real friends, right? Like, cuz I only hang out. Like the people I actually see are like my closest friends and. And their significant.

[Steph]

So what if you guys had a boys poker night and me and Gabby wanted to come?

[Eldis]

That's a little different because it's like not like anymore.

[Gabby]

No, no, no.

[Eldis]

First of all, you could come to like, if we were having a poker game, you're 100% invited. I don't see poker as gendered, to be honest with you. But if we were having like a. If me and my five best male friends were like, we're gonna get high, you know, get Korean barbecue and go to the movies. And you're like, we want to come. I'd be like, no. Like, we can hang out at a different time. It's not about poker night. It's about the sanctity of these guys. Didn't make clear that this was about the fellas hanging out.

[Gabby]

Right.

[Eldis]

They just said we're having a poker night.

[Steph]

Kind of known, I think, like, read the room a little bit.

[Eldis]

It's, you know whose fault it is.

[Steph]

It's the husband's fault.

[Eldis]

Her husband's husband.

[Steph]

He opened the floodgates and he knew need.

[Eldis]

And listen, you can punish him. He needs to be sanctioned within your friend group for doing this for Ru. For ruining poker night with estrogen.

[Gabby]

You know, it's actually so true in that she. He should have been like the. It's the boys night.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Can you go have a girls night with your friends?

[Eldis]

Right? And actually, if you think he's capable of personally talking to her and ironing this out, he can do it. I don't think he can because he let her do.

[Steph]

He. He's.

[Eldis]

He's.

[Cyndi Lauper]

He.

[Eldis]

Honestly, let's be honest. This guy's cucked, right? Or maybe he's just not a misogynist and he wants us and he enjoys playing poker with his wife. You know, he. He blame it on the. Yeah, he just love his wife.

[Steph]

He'd be like, babe, they all said you get.

[Gabby]

Yeah, no, this guy's clearly a cuff who loves his wife and wants to spend more time with her throughout their busy schedules. My best friend has a girls book club and they live In Raleigh. And she said to the husband, stay up Gray Town. Stay upstairs. Do not come down.

[Steph]

No husband in his right mind would want to enter a woman's face like that.

[Gabby]

Not true. He wanted to be a part of it so bad, he sat on the steps and listen.

[Eldis]

So this guy, he slowly.

[Gabby]

He slowly just walked into the living room.

[Eldis]

Right?

[Gabby]

So it's like the other person wants to be involved if they're there, you know, maybe. Maybe you're just.

[Eldis]

Let me tell you something. Knowing there's gossip. If I was dating somebody and they. There's a book club going on downstairs. I'm playing Xbox upstairs. Like, I'm not coming down. It just depends on your personality. Yeah, maybe Loves God. Actually, I love. Actually, that is me.

[Gabby]

I know.

[Eldis]

I do love you.

[Steph]

Love Takiki.

[Eldis]

You know what?

[Gabby]

Imagine all the girls are gossiping.

[Eldis]

I'm actually lying. I actually love when it's just me and girls. Actually, that's one of my favorite types of hangouts.

[Steph]

But anyway, hang out with us.

[Eldis]

Yeah. What are we doing?

[Gabby]

Gossiping.

[Caller 2]

Gossiping.

[Eldis]

Doing Peptides.

[Steph]

Poker. Peptides poker.

[Eldis]

Poker. Nut poker. And peptide night. Little something for everybody.

[Gabby]

Wait, I should throw that.

[Eldis]

No, I'm. Let me be clear. I'm not taking any of your fucking little League peptides.

[Gabby]

All right. To each his own.

[Eldis]

I'm going to a doctor.

[Gabby]

I have a doctor's number.

[Eldis]

So, yeah, I guess that's. That's how I see the whole thing.

[Caller 2]

And.

[Eldis]

Okay, let's say you really like her. You don't want to hurt her feelings. Let's say you don't like her. Telling her to her face now creates animosity within the group. Yeah, and. And you echo. Escalate. So I just think to be safe, re. Channel the bros only energy into something that is established from the very beginning is for the bros only.

[Caller]

That's.

[Eldis]

That's how I would handle it.

[Gabby]

Personally, I think it should be golf. I know some women like to play golf.

[Eldis]

I hate golf, though.

[Gabby]

But.

[Eldis]

But I know you mean. Yes, there's other ways to do it. Golf.

[Steph]

But they probably like the. Like, it's like smoky and it's dark. Here's the thing. You know, you can.

[Gabby]

Here's the thing.

[Eldis]

You can lie to your wives about what you're doing. You could be like, oh, we're.

[Caller 2]

We're.

[Eldis]

We're watching the football game. And then have a poker night.

[Steph]

You need a secondary poker night.

[Eldis]

You need a fake.

[Steph]

They basically need to make a fake poker night.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Tr.

[Steph]

Show this woman. Pretend that it's a poker night.

[Eldis]

A bunch of extras that look like a bunch of guys that kind of look like them are playing with her gas.

[Steph]

Like the. Out of this woman.

[Gabby]

A screen falls. They're playing poker behind it.

[Eldis]

It's like, that's really funny. She's playing poker with there with like holograms of them.

[Gabby]

At one point she's like,

[Eldis]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I may. You're right. I do. I get it. But that's personally how I would handle it if I were in this situation. You know what I'm saying? What do you think, Eldis? I'd. You're a man who both married and has poker night. So you're.

[Cyndi Lauper]

I, I would like. I would like the. I think it'd be fun if like someone's wife or girlfriend was like, oh, I'm coming to poker night. If she was into it.

[Eldis]

Totally.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Like actually liked poker. And, you know, she wasn't being a dumb. Asking what every hand means.

[Gabby]

I did not expect that.

[Steph]

You know, it's.

[Cyndi Lauper]

It is. It is just a fun new energy and Totally. When it's just guys, it's like, you know, it gets a little autistic in there. Everyone like, is getting real quiet. They're like, Doyle or something.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[Steph]

You need the female energy.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah.

[Steph]

She better be showing up in a bikini, by the way.

[Eldis]

Totally. Or her tits out.

[Steph]

That her tits need to be out. We haven't figured that out yet.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Something low.

[Eldis]

Jennifer Tilly playing poker with her tits out. Man, that was awesome.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah, I. I agree with you. I don't think of like, poker as gendered.

[Eldis]

Me neither.

[Cyndi Lauper]

So this is hard to see. But. But, but I think at the same

[Eldis]

time, it's also very possible that she's better at poker than them and they're pissed.

[Steph]

I was thinking that as well.

[Eldis]

Because if she's really into it and they were just using it as an excuse to not hang out with their wives, it's possible that she's. She's the one who's taking it too seriously. Like, she could be a better player than that. Or, you know, we're just maybe. Who knows? But anyway, there's just different ways. I'm sorry to cut you off. Go ahead.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah, same time. I don't know. I don't think there's anything wrong with being like, eh, just the guys tonight. Sure. That guy does.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Steph]

I think that's reasonable.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Talk to his wife.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah. You could also be like, hey, what? Yeah, yeah. But it's up to the guy and I don't have faith in him to pull it off.

[Cyndi Lauper]

I know what you mean.

[Eldis]

You know what I'm saying? Either because we have friends who, like, will definitely up a hanger by not like. And it's actually both different genders, too. Like, Like, I, like, we. We've definitely had people, like, come. And it's not just significant others. Sometimes it's just like, they bring a weird friend or, like, we have people in our lives who just will the vibes up.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You know, so it is a little

[Cyndi Lauper]

bit on the wife. I've. I've been the guy who, like, up the hang by, like, bringing his girlfriend before. But, like, my wife just, you know, she reads it right every time. I never. I never have to, like, be like,

[Steph]

no, yeah, you should be dating. Think someone who reads the social situation.

[Eldis]

But also, this girl seems like she loves poker, wants to play. It's kind of, like, sad. It's like, you know, I. Anyway, whatever. This is just. To me, I just think they're just. They. Maybe we're reading it wrong. It doesn't seem like these guys are poker fanatics. They just didn't want to hang out with their wives, so. But either way, we get. We talked enough. Figure it out.

[Steph]

The wives need to come up with their own.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Texas hold.

[Steph]

Like, and then they can just do a. Like a.

[Gabby]

Is Texas hold poker the same thing?

[Eldis]

It's a type of poker.

[Caller]

All right.

[Gabby]

Blackjack.

[Steph]

I didn't know if poker was a genre.

[Eldis]

It's. Yeah, it's. It's. There's, like, so many different types of poker. Tex Holden is the one that got, like, the biggest, like, when we. When I was probably how old were, like, 13, 14. Text hold. Them would, like, exploded.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Yeah. I mean, I remember coming down to Greek town.

[Eldis]

Yeah. We used to have poker.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Some of our buddies in, like, fourth. Fourth grade.

[Eldis]

Not fourth grade.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Middle school.

[Eldis]

Middle school. We started. Yeah, we started gambling in middle school. I literally had a friend who had a bookie when I was like. When I was like. And he's now. You got addicted to the gambling and disappeared.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Oh, yeah.

[Eldis]

And, like, he resurfaced in Asia gambling.

[Steph]

Wait, this guy's awesome.

[Eldis]

He actually is awesome. He was the man. He was a cool dude.

[Gabby]

He resurfaced for you, actually.

[Eldis]

He would be exactly your type. A real piece of.

[Gabby]

Please don't date a bookie.

[Eldis]

Not a bookie. A gambling addict.

[Steph]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Anyway, that's it. That's our advice. That was a good one. There was a lot of meat on that bone. El. There's not really the, you know, the fun go that usually the fun go out when I thought we were. This episode was gonna be over 20 minutes ago, but rolling. We ended up really dissecting that one. I like. Yeah, I think we. I think we. We ruled justly in this case. That's gonna do it for us gals. Thank you so much. This was so fun. Thank you for having us watch. Listen to the new pod. Go see the girls live. Come see us live. I assume we're pro. Maybe we're about to finish a tour. Who knows? Maybe the special is about. We're about to tape the special.

[Cyndi Lauper]

Probably there's like five episodes that have already come out where you're like, we just finished special.

[Eldis]

I know. On the last. On the Jabouki episode where I'm like, I. I'm. And there was one episode where I was talking about, man, I wish I had a couple a little more time to work on the special. And I really cursed myself, man. I really. I really got what I asked for. But anyway, that's going to do for us. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

[Steph]

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[Caller 2]

Stop.

[Eldis]

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[Cyndi Lauper]

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[Steph]

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[Eldis]

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[Gabby]

99amonth.

[Eldis]

Visit simplisafe.com licenses for alarm license information. Tennessee2012 hey, listeners. Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.