#193 - Chris Distefano

Summary

Podcast Summary: Stavvy's World #193 – Chris Distefano (August 10, 2026)

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode reunites comedian Stavros Halkias with friend and fellow comic Chris Distefano for a classic hangout, blending comedic reflections on success, personal flaws, and stand-up careers with their signature irreverent humor. They discuss fame, the transition from “funny guys” to business-minded comics, modern relationships, and personal insecurities, before diving into listener advice calls covering sex, adulting, and existential confusion.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Summer Bears & Comedy Mates (01:52–05:27)

• “Summer Bears Reunion”: Stavros and Chris reminisce about podcasting with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer, joking about industry gossip, divorce, and who’s truly “shrewd” in making comedy money.
  • “Out of all the people we know … Tom is the shrewdest.” – Chris, 03:42
  • Discussion on comedians transforming into business moguls, accompanied by playful resentment.

Success, Peaking, and Role Players (11:05–16:26)

• Escalation in Comedy: Contrast the current stand-up “arena era” with prior generations.
  • “Our heroes … never played theaters the way we did. We just got lucky.” – Stavros, 13:21
• Pat Riley’s “Disease of More”: After big wins, wanting even more can be “the disease.” Both comedians question the value of “chasing more” and openly appreciate being able to headline big shows without seeking endless growth.
• Role Players: Acceptance of not being “MJ” or top arena acts like Mulaney/Shane Gillis, and the joys of selling out 2,000-seat venues:
  • “I would love to just play…2000 seaters.” – Stavros, 12:44

The Stand-Up Business & Comedy Clubs (09:56–11:42)

• Corporate Ownership: Bemoaning Live Nation buying up classic comedy clubs, and the lack of “real” competition or independence in the industry.
  • “No company should own every anything…especially not every art venue.” – Stavros, 10:30

Diets, Drugs, and Doctor Energy (23:37–29:44)

• Ozempic/Zepbound Injections: Both talk about their weight-loss journeys, comedic mishaps with diabetes drugs, and the perils of following medical advice from extremely jacked Instagram doctors.
  • “I want a healthy looking doctor…don’t send me a guy looks like Sam Sulek.” – Stavros, 27:12
• SEDAR comedy about bodily function: Including how drugs mess with digestion, and stories about botched, off-the-books root canals.

Personal Insecurities, Childhood, and “The Real You” (33:33–45:59)

• Chris’s Identity Journey: He explores shifting from an “Italian” persona to “mostly German,” the lies he told as a kid to protect himself emotionally, and the difficult path to authenticity in comedy.
  • “I have the look of … more liberal crowds…initially look at me and are like, ‘fuck that guy’...then they get to know me, ‘Chris is okay.’” – Chris, 39:16
• Reflections on Family & Commitment: Stavros psychoanalyzes Chris’s tendency to move homes constantly, suggesting it is a symptom of deeper fear of finality and being trapped, rooted in childhood experiences.
  • “You crave the freedom your father had…you’re committed, but psychologically, the moving is the one final…one foot in both worlds thing.” – Stavros, 44:23

Relationship and Lifestyle Advice Calls (From 50:07 Onward)

1. Threesome Dilemma (51:11–59:02)

• Caller’s girlfriend floats a threesome; loyalty issues linger.
• Insight: If loyalty is in question, introducing a threesome is a bad idea (“It’s a tight needle to thread…” – Stavros, 54:08).
• “If you’re calling into the show to get advice on it, you’re not that dude.” – Chris, 58:48

2. Dating Disparity: Young Girlfriend or Older Wife? (60:52–68:15)

• 39-year-old caught between a 41-year-old with a “warp speed” baby timeline and a 21-year-old casual fling.
• Advice: Don’t pursue either now; wait, self-reflect, and date someone closer to his maturity (around age 30).
• “You have to be…not old enough to be her dad.” – Chris, 66:27

3. Bathroom Logistics with Baby Niece (68:43–74:52)

• Male caller anxious about taking his 3-year-old niece to the bathroom while babysitting.
• Consensus: Don’t overthink—just be responsible. Bring into the men’s room, help her, and don’t feel weird about it (“It’s just caring for a child.” – Stavros, 74:52).

4. Modern Sex: Ass-Eating Boundaries (75:01–82:36)

• Lifelong “ass-eater” caller distraught after wife expresses discomfort.
• “Maybe she just doesn’t want you to eat her ass.…You negotiate something that works for both of you.” – Stavros, 78:22
• Key: Communicate. Make it a “seasonal item” if not off the menu forever.

5. Friend Inviting Dates to Movie Night (84:14–91:26)

• Weekly movie night disrupted by friend bringing new dates every few weeks.
• Verdict: Reasonable to request a “one-month dating rule”; this is a valuable, limited social tradition, not a first-date venue.

6. Vasectomy Recommendation (93:27–96:58)

• Listener praises vasectomy, discusses male anxieties about losing “manhood.”
• Jokes about the ritual of “clearing the chamber” post-surgery (“You have to go middle school mode”—Stavros, 96:15).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Comedians Becoming Businessmen:
  “That’s not who the fuck we are. We’re not smart and we’re business guys.” – Stavros, 04:35

• Role-Playing and Pipe Dreams:
  “You could see it in my face, like, this is who I was always meant to be.” – Stavros, 05:28

• On “Cucked” Life-Realization:
  “I want to be front row at Muna while my wife is having an affair.” – Chris, 38:16
  “That will bring balance to your life.” – Stavros, 38:20

• On Relationship Logistics:
  “Think about this actual experience...Do you think you have it in you to fuck two girls nice?” – Stavros, 58:02

• Parenting/Babysitting Anxiety:
  “If she shits her pants when she’s seven…Is it weird to change her? No, dude. It’s a little kid.” – Stavros, 70:48

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Reunion Vibes/Industry Talk: 01:52–05:27
• “Disease of More” and Comedy Peaking: 11:05–16:26
• Corporate Comedy Clubs Rant: 09:56–11:42
• Weight Loss Drug Comedy: 23:37–29:44
• Personal/Comedic Authenticity: 33:33–45:59
• Listener Calls Begin: 50:07
  • Threesome Dilemma: 51:11–59:02
  • Dating Younger (A/B Choice): 60:52–68:15
  • Uncle/Niece Bathroom Dilemma: 68:43–74:52
  • Ass-Eating Boundaries: 75:01–82:36
  • Movie Night “New Girlfriend” Issue: 84:14–91:26
  • Vasectomy Anecdote: 93:27–96:58

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Tone & Language

• Irreverent, unfiltered, and self-deprecating; both hosts riff candidly about insecurities, bodily mishaps, and relationship awkwardness.
• A blend of genuine advice and comedic riffing, constantly flipping between vulnerability and bits.

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Conclusion

Stavvos and Chris offer a blend of honest, humorous reflection on the realities of contemporary comedy, personal evolution, and the strange logistics of adult life, all filtered through listener questions that are equal parts sincere and ridiculous. The episode is a showcase of their ability to joke about anything—from sex to parenting to vasectomies—while offering genuine moments of insight and self-analysis for listeners who want to laugh while they learn.

Transcript

[Chris Distefano]

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[Chris Distefano]

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[Stavros Halkias]

Welcome everybody to stop his world. 904800 stops called the visible hotline. All the stoppies World hotline presented by Visible. Keep it in. We love Visible. We use our office line as visible and they have sponsored the Stavi hotline. And today in a little bit about 40 minutes, 45 minutes, me and my good pal Chris DiStefano are going to be taking calls on the hotline. Chrissy D, thanks for coming.

[Chris Distefano]

I love it, dude. Shout out Visible. You can suck it. Yeah,

[Stavros Halkias]

bleep that out. I believe they're also.

[Chris Distefano]

They are sorry about that.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they're not that connected. It's a weird thing to say to suck it too.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have said that. But hey, you know what, dude? I'm having fun in here and I'm just letting it rip.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's what it's about. It feels so, you know, something feels right about being with you in the summer, man.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

We had such a beautiful. This is a summer bears reunion.

[Chris Distefano]

And. And it's one of those things where, you know, Tom has been public.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. There's not much to talk about when it comes to the Bears right now.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah. Tom's been very public and. And I said. And I. And I. And I'm good friends with Tom and I just texted him, you know, checking in, you know, hope everything's good with the divorce, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I said, hey, man, dude, who's your guy? Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, where are you hiding your money? Because I'm getting the reason I've been thinking the reason you probably took so long to get married is because you were figuring out opening up accounts in the Cayman Islands.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. Yeah. And the thing is, it just takes a little while. Cause my father does have a criminal backgr. So the Cayman Islands were just a little slow, but we did officially get it done. And it feels like.

[Stavros Halkias]

And on paper, you're. You're on. You're on food stamps.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, dude, it's amazing, bro. It's amazing. I mean, yeah, dude. And so I asked Tom, I said, you know, dude, Stavros, you know, I know he's home now, he's been in the movies, but I said, we can kind of if you want to tag summer bears if you need. And Tom's response was, not happening this summer. So it's just one of those things where I think Tom is saying, you know what I mean? Divorce.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think let. Let them finish all their legal proceedings before they put. They learn their lesson.

[Chris Distefano]

Right? Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Trusting do fudgeing idiots.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, I know. Well, it was one of their million

[Stavros Halkias]

dollar property where I know.

[Chris Distefano]

I asked Tom once. Tom was like. I was like, how you like in summer bears or winter bears? He's like, dude, I love it. He was like. And I love it because the first 30 minutes of seemingly every episode is just you two shitting on Burt. So he was like, Bert kind of just. He was like, I watch Bert just kind of taking all this in about how you comedy scene really feels about him. And then he said, it just. It's fun for me to watch Bert.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course. Of course.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, smart for Tom, because this would have been his summer.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This would have been the summer that Tom's in the crosshairs. That's why he's the shrewdest between the two of them.

[Chris Distefano]

Let me tell you something right now. Out of all the people we know and we know now, we know a lot of people are making real money. And we're at the point now we've been doing this so long where it's like we've watched our peers become moguls, some of them become moguls. And it's just one of those things where. But Tom, out of all of them, is the shrewdest. Like, Tom is one of those guys. When I was talking to Tom, once we. I did a show with them, I opened up for him at the freaking United center, right? He killed whatever. And then immediately after, you know, I was like, how'd you like the show? Tom was like, oh, it was great. Within Five seconds. Somebody came up to him with a clipboard and was going over the F and B, the merchandise, the food and beverage, the merchandise and. And basically the profit in the numbers in, numbers out.

[Stavros Halkias]

See? Respect. But I didn't do comedy. Do gay shit like that.

[Chris Distefano]

That sucks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I think the business, the, like comedians becoming businessmen.

[Caller]

Sucks.

[Chris Distefano]

Sucks. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not who the fuck we are. We're not smart and we're business guys.

[Chris Distefano]

That's why Christina wanted the divorce.

[Stavros Halkias]

Why can't we just be fun?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Look, I don't want to. I will not get no conjecture here. Those are actual friends of ours going through big time. A public divorce. I do not envy them.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But look, I will say everyone's looking at it from the. Oh, guy gets. Guy get fat, rich and hot. He divorced. Do you think it's fun? Who do you think it's more fun to be married to?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

A fun fat guy or a guy on peptides.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean?

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

If you had to pick, sure. Like, that's what I'm banking on 100%. For me, the prime of my life I've known since I was a boy is going to be my 40s.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

As a child, you look at me and you're like, that child should be bald, obese.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

With a bad back. And that will be the prime of his life.

[Chris Distefano]

That will be.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was my. You could see it in my face, like, this is who I was always meant to be.

[Chris Distefano]

No. Any girl out there listening, just know if you want to get the best fucking of your life from Stavros, it's right now. Because as you're losing weight and getting healthier, it's going to get shittier and shittier. But right now you can pipe something with the bad back.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you're right. It's my life. Depends.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, I guarantee you the best. The best sex you ever had is when you had no teeth. When you had. When you were missing two front teeth, you were probably piping girls because you knew how hard you had to work for it.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is true. All I had, it was like, look, I've sort of. I won't say tricked. That has a legal connotation.

[Chris Distefano]

I was gonna say that, but not tricked.

[Stavros Halkias]

Everything was above board. Everyone was happy to be there. But I'll say this. I think many women that I hooked up with when I was toothless were very surprised that I. That I. That like, my. I had charm. They see a toothless guy and they're like, this is, you know, you know, Jose, I fuck with a lot of girls who are like, this is fun.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, I'll never do this again.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cause you were like, it's like me going salsa dancing, right? I'll try it once. I'll have a good time. I'm never doing it again.

[Chris Distefano]

I dabble.

[Stavros Halkias]

A lot of girls fucked me back then. And still to this day, as a fun. And like, huh.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, I mean, think about the point of view from, you know, the women that you were having sex with, like some hot yoga chicken, you know, the next day, hits the group chat, and the girl's like, how was your night? Listened. She's like, I fucked a toothless fat guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

And Exactly. If you're bad at fucking, basically what I'm saying is you have earned. It's like. It's like a. It's like being like a kid from a disadvantaged background and you have a criminal record, right. And you're trying to get into college. You're like, I know my grades aren't great, and I know I had a shady past, but you will not regret it if you give me a chance. If that kid goes and fails and robs, you know, steals a box of Uncrustables from the cafeteria, right? He's going to jail. If basically, as a fat, toothless, broke. Also broke back then, like, Compton was starting to make money. But I wasn't, you know, I had. I wasn't like, you know, I couldn't just be like, flex with cash, Right. I had enough to take you on a nice date, but everything I had going for me, if. If I then am bad at fucking, then. Then they're gonna be like, biggest mistake of my fucking life. They're gonna be pissed. But if I'm good at fucking, they're like, hey, yeah. That was a fun little experience.

[Chris Distefano]

Hell, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Through this guy who's my fit in the gap in his teeth.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You could just gum my for.

[Chris Distefano]

And now. And now. And now. Cut to that hot chick. Like, she's married three years later. And, you know, her husband takes her to go see Tony.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And then she's. He's. He's looking like, look at this fat. And then she's like, yeah. No. Ew.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what? That's really funny because they're probably our. That's going to be tough. Especially if these guys were like, cometown fans or something.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because those guys all hate. Like, not all the ones that have stuck with me are the best. Like, people who are with you from the time you're 25.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

And have been with you at every incarnation. Those are. I love you guys so much. But there is a nice contingent that blames me for steal. Take. In their minds, they see it as I have destroyed the one thing they loved. Got it right. And if one of those. If I happen to have fucked up one of those guys, the lady he ends up marrying, if that comes out, that could be really devastating. And don't tell them girls, right? Never tell. It's not worth it.

[Chris Distefano]

That actually would be one of those moments where it's like you fear for your safety. Like, you gotta know how to defend yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not.

[Stavros Halkias]

I didn't even fuck some guy's current wife. It's just. I fucked some guy's now wife seven years ago. And I still think if it's the right guy, that's a big problem.

[Chris Distefano]

That actually happened to me once. I was at a show. I think I was at the Charlotte Comedy Zone. Shout out to Charlotte Comedy Zone, which I will be returning to in November.

[Stavros Halkias]

We did the even shittier one Greensboro Comic Zone. And I had a blast. Shout out to them. And you know, you're. Listen, it is just shitty. Let's. Let's not f. It's in the b. I could. You could see the bp, right? Like, there's no. You could see the parking lot you're in. Right in the thing. And it was clearly like a. It used to be like a. Like a stone store. Like they sold like, bricks or some shit.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And so they had, like, hilarious, like, beautiful stonework masonry around it. And clearly this used to be a showroom for tiles.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But they didn't change the decor.

[Guest or Co-host]

And the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Literally, the owner, who was the man working the fryer. Yeah, the owner was making pizzas. Working the fryer and kind of like checking on us in the green.

[Chris Distefano]

I've never had the privilege or the honor, but hopefully my agent's listening.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's where we want to go next. Right after we do the Sacramento punchline, which is above that mattress store.

[Stavros Halkias]

Somebody brought a baby. Oh, yes, The. Sorry to step on that. Yes, I love. That's a great club. That is above a. It is above a mattress store. But although, you know what's weird about that? And listen, I work at a lot of Live Nation venues. Why is Live Nation buying comedy clubs?

[Caller]

I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

That sucks. Listen, I don't think we should have. I think there should be. It's so Funny, because people talk about capitalism is good. The version of American capitalism we have is just like, a company gets successful and now they just buy everything.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's like, I've had a great time working with Live Nation, but I would love if they had two competitors, like, more five competitors, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or just that no company should own every anything.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Especially not every art venue. And so. And look, the big theaters, that's one thing, but a comedy, like, it's above a fucking mattress.

[Chris Distefano]

Come on, you need this live. Mason. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's a fish restaurant I can smell next door. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You're on Madison Square Garden. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I believe that's your boy Dolan.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, that is. But Live Nation is. They're in with mad, aren't there? Aren't they, like, the official MSG buyer?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, you know what? You're probably right.

[Chris Distefano]

They were.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I just know they have a bunch of awesome MSG owns. Like, every awesome shout out to radio. I did Radio City this year. That was awesome.

[Chris Distefano]

You did the theater at MSG? Yeah, I did Radio City in 2023. It was one of those moments where I did. I did Radio City Friday theater at MSG Saturday. Oh, wow. And I felt like, literally, like the king of the world.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's incredible.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. And then, you know, systematically, year by year, it's just went like this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

But I can feel myself getting back up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can I ask you a question, though? Do you have to get back up for real?

[Chris Distefano]

Good question.

[Stavros Halkias]

What you're describing is two of the most iconic venues in New York. You sold it. You sold. That's 10,000 tickets.

[Chris Distefano]

It was. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's fucking ridiculous.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And to do that, once you did it, I think, like this.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a good point.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's sort of like the Pat Riley. I think what is striking comedy right now is the Pat Riley idea, which popular. I've heard Bill Simmons. I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I listen.

[Chris Distefano]

I read, by the way, Pat Riley's memoir, 1990s Pat Riley.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nick.

[Chris Distefano]

Every single one of our mothers wanted to him 100%.

[Stavros Halkias]

I him. Like, if you showed me a picture of that guy now. He was so suave.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, if you could look. He looked so good in a suit. The disease of more is his idea. It's like, once you win a championship, like, again, I'm just parroting Bill Simmons, who was quoting Pat Riley here. Once you win a championship, even role players, like, it gets their head. Right. And look, I think we're both funny guys.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

We're at the top of stand up. But we're role players.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do we have to be? Do we have to be, mj. We're not.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Mulaney.

[Chris Distefano]

Shane, do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? Like, you guys fucking. You guys keep playing arenas.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would love. I actually kind of want my career to stop going this much.

[Chris Distefano]

Interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would love to just play. It's a Blessing to play 2000 seaters.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you ever in your wildest dreams, when your fucking dad is, you know, putting. Putting. Putting bets on the Mets?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. When my mom is smuggling me in the back of an Amtrak car to get away from my father, who's wanted by the Mafia. And I'm living the first six months of my life in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. No. I never dreamed that I'd even sell out Gotham Comedy Club.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was like, one day I'll do a Thursday at Magoovies. And now I'm playing the Chicago theater. I'm playing msg. I don't fucking deserve this. Our heroes, the people we looked up to, they never. Better comics than us.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Never played theaters the way we did. We just got lucky. We're in the ERA of $200 million guaranteed contracts.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they were in the era of fucking Converses and flying.

[Chris Distefano]

Good point.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. Like legends played comedy clubs. And look, we play comedy clubs a lot, too, but they played. They might have done a theater once or twice. Like somebody was telling me a story where it's like, Ray Romano, when he maybe was even you.

[Chris Distefano]

I did. That's why I was just going to bring him up. Ray Romano. I was with him at the Comedy Cellar once. Great guy, obviously. Legendary comic, you know, made tons of money and a great guy. Like, great.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think people forget comic. I don't know him as a guy. He probably. She seems like a great guy. I think people forget because he's so. And he became sneakily, crazily, a great actor. Like, imagine Martin Scorsese didn't know who he was.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And he just liked him as an actor for the Irishman. And he was great in it.

[Caller]

Great.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, Romano might have the best in terms of the best lives.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think it might be him. Ray Romano, even Sandler, who's the man. He's so famous, right. And like, he's figured out making movies with your friends. But Ray Romano, dude, great comic, legendary sitcom. At a time where if you have a sitcom, you are richer than God.

[Chris Distefano]

No, dude. Ray Romano to this day is still getting, I would assume, checks from everybody else. Raymond from millions and Millions, elders, entire Albanian family would.

[Stavros Halkias]

Would. Would huddle up against the fucking TV and watch Ray. Every. Every Must see tv.

[Guest or Co-host]

We loved Everybody Loves Raymond.

[Chris Distefano]

Watching it live from a dirt hut.

[Stavros Halkias]

They saved up the electricity for the week just to watch an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.

[Chris Distefano]

No hot water.

[Guest or Co-host]

I interviewed Brad Garrett at my old job one time for some show he was doing, and he was like. I was like, oh, I just got to tell you before we start. My family loved Everybody Loves Raymond. One Thanksgiving. We, like, binged a marathon of it for 10 hours. He was like, was your TV broken?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm sure he loved hearing that.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

But you know what, dude? He.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ray Romano, he's probably there promoting some indie movie where he's trying to, like, make a pivot into drama. And elders, like, I loved when you played the fat or the. The big, dumb older brother.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah. Is there a way. Is there a way that you can, you know, put me in touch with Ray? That's my life, too. It's like, somebody will come up to me and be like, dude, I'm such a big fan. I love you. Can you get me Sal Volcano's info?

[Guest or Co-host]

I.

[Chris Distefano]

Hey, babe. And. And so. And so.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I'm sorry, but with Ray, so.

[Chris Distefano]

So we're seeing a comedy seller, and he goes and he said, you know, all this thing, and he started mentioning ticket sales, and he said, you know, at the height. At the height of Everybody Loves Raymond, the most tickets he ever sold was the Beacon theater, which is 2,000 seats, which is. Was an amazing. And stills amazing. But now it's like.

[Stavros Halkias]

And. And I'm going to say this, and it's going to sound like I'm bragging, but what I'm saying is, this is an injustice. I sold out the Beacon three times.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I am not a better comic, and I do not deserve that in the way Ray Romano did.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And comedy needs to be. We literally need to. It's getting to the point where I'm like, tax even us?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not even.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, I'm not. I don't condone that.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm just saying, do we really deserve this shit?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, we're fucking stupid. No, dude, I'm telling you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dumb as shit.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm telling you. Giannis always tells me. Giannis has this thing where he's like, the thing about our lives as, you know, podcasters and doing standup is. It's such a dream, it's such a gift that you have to tell yourself. You have to convince yourself that you don't have any of these Real problems that you think you have. You're just literally getting paid to make people laugh and it should become like, almost effortless to you. He was like, so don't get in your head like this and that. Like, he thinks it's even better than being an athlete because like, athletes, you got your body, you're on the road all the time. He was like, us, it's like you're using your mind. It's different.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we don't, we really don't deserve it at all.

[Chris Distefano]

We don't deserve it. And Ray Romano, too, is a funny guy. I was at a, I was at a Knicks game with him once and he was wearing a jet shirt and somebody in like the back room was like, you're wearing a jet shirt to a Knicks game. And he was like, yeah, I'm Ray Romano.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I was like, slap your cock on the table, Ray. Fuck that bitch.

[Chris Distefano]

Nice, man. And I was like, hell yeah. Yeah, good for you, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

He's the man. Dream guest elders, we need to do a, we should do a patreon where we like, we've put our fucking list of dream guests because Ray is bit

[Chris Distefano]

way up and he's bicosa. I mean, he'll come on the spot no problem.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, Rosie o' DONNELL Big one for me.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you come to the comedy cell? I don't, I haven't been to the comed so in a while, but I can't wait.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm going to my plan. I, I, I'm, I'm very, I have nothing after this. You know, the special comes out next month, September 8th. Guys, Tony is out in New York this week. New York and LA this week. Hires comes out next week. It's the summer of style.

[Chris Distefano]

Come on, dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

But once all that is over and I'm going to promote the out of my special because I really believe in it and I worked really hard on it. We got Matt Johnson to direct it. Who's the man? Once that's done though, I was gonna go to Greece, but I decided like, it's gonna end in around October. Yeah, the best city in the world to be in in October. November is New York.

[Guest or Co-host]

It's great.

[Stavros Halkias]

The fall in New York is unbelievable.

[Chris Distefano]

The best.

[Stavros Halkias]

So I'm basically just gonna be a tourist here and do stand up for fun, dude. Yeah, just go up and not try and work on anything. Not worry about, oh, a special. Oh, I need fucking clips. I'm just gonna go have fun and eat, eat the wings that took my tooth. Because the comedy seller is that true?

[Chris Distefano]

Did it? You break your tooth?

[Stavros Halkias]

I was watching Mark Norman run his hour at the Fat Black Pussycat, and I cracked my fucking tooth. And this is when I was fucking broke, dude. This is before. This was like the very early days of Cometown, where it was like, shit was not going good.

[Chris Distefano]

Right, Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I could. I didn't have a dentist. I had to go to my mom. I cracked the tooth. Or actually, you know what? The tooth cracked because it had started bothering me before I even moved to New York. It was in Baltimore the year before I moved. And I went to my mom. My mom just had a dentist who was like a nice guy that just did cash root canals.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, in between his real paying customers and. Nice guy and everything, he fucked my root canal up.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, cash root canals.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, Cash root canal. That's something I would like a paper trail for.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's something that it's like, you know,

[Chris Distefano]

I don't want to.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't want someone to squeeze me in on a root canal. I would really like him to have his full attention on my front tooth's root canal.

[Caller]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

Makes sense.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I cracked it, literally watching Mark run his hour or something. And, yeah, it was on the. It was the Olive Trees wings.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they're. I think they're the best wings in the city.

[Chris Distefano]

They are.

[Stavros Halkias]

And the best ranch, by the way, or I don't even know what it is. It's some kind of ranch blue cheese hybrid, perhaps.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The Comedy Cellar has better wings and ranch than they do comedy. And that's not even shitting on the comedy. That's how good the wings are.

[Chris Distefano]

They are.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean?

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, there's There. There are multiple people that only go to the Olive Tree Cafe, which is above the Comedy Cellar, that go there for the wings and only find out years into them going that there's a comedy club downstairs.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would have. If I didn't do comedy, I would have been one of those people, I promise you. This episode of Stop is World is sponsored by Twisted T. Listen to this dream. Summer day off. You wake up, nice little cannonball in the pool, text the squad and get a 12 pack of Twisted teas on ice, post up in a lawn chair in the garage and tell stories about the good old days. Sounds sick, right? Just some classic fun with your favorite people in Twisted Tea, the refreshing, hard iced tea that's perfect for summer. Twisted Tea tastes like real iced tea because it's made with real brewed iced tea and it goes down smooth because there's no carbonation. If you really want to mix things up, try the Twisted Tea Party pack. We got originals, half and half, peach and raspberry. I love the peach. I'm a peach guy myself. Forget long lines and expensive drinks at the club. Grab some Twisted Tea and day drink in the backyard, soaking up those summer rays. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep it twisted. Twisted must be 21 plus. Please drink responsibly. Folks, it's time to soak up the last days of summer. And that means staying connected to what you love. Visible Wireless can help you do just that. With Visible, you get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon for just $25 a month. All right, Little unlimited hotspots. The summer days, maybe. You're working from home. You get that hotspot going. You're on a nice little park bench. You're looking at the water, and that's where you're doing your dumb little email job. That's the kind of stuff Visible Wireless can make happen for the low, low, baby. So you could treat yourself a little extra before the summer ends. Couple extra ice cream cones, huh? Maybe a nice margarita on a rooftop, courtesy of our pals of Visible Wireless. Not official. They're not gonna give you that stuff. But all the money you can save allows you to then enjoy summer. You follow? You know what I'm getting at here? Switch today at visible.com plan start at $25 a month or get their premium Visible Plus Pro plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code Stav terms apply. See visible.com for plan features and network management details. Yeah, and anyway, so I cracked it there. What the fuck was I talking about?

[Chris Distefano]

Was we're talking about your teeth. We were talking about what else?

[Stavros Halkias]

So I'm off the zeppie. My mom came to visit and I had to take her. I had to take her to get some beautiful meals.

[Chris Distefano]

Where'd you take her?

[Stavros Halkias]

I took her to get some Chinese. It was pretty good. But she like. She wanted to do the traditional New York shit. So we. We didn't get the line that she came on a weekend. The line at Katz's was too long. But we went to Russ and Daughters, which is.

[Chris Distefano]

I've never been there, dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

The best locks and the best bagel locks in the city, I would say. Interesting because they have very high. They have many different types of high quality smoked salmon.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

So my mom got gravlax. I got the pastrami they have a loin. They have a fatty, right? A loin cut. They have different smoke, different levels of smoke.

[Chris Distefano]

Smoked salmon and cream cheese I've only, again, recently gotten into. And I do like it because, again, I'm from a place called Ridgewood, Queens, which is mostly German immigrants. So at that time, any type of locks and cream cheese was just referred to as Jew shit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Chris Distefano]

So. So now that I'm out of that and the fog is cleared of that, and I'm more cultured, I realize that lox and cream cheese on a bagel is maybe one of the best things you can eat in your life, so.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it did my stomach up, up and when. And I was fresh off. It was the first day of Zep. You can't get. You shouldn't do.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fatty fish and creamy cheeses on day one. Day one of the zep.

[Chris Distefano]

What milligrams are you up to now?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm at a. I'm at a nice 10.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow. So you're pumping. Are you doing the. Those quick pens, or are you just loading it up Quick pen. Stomach.

[Stavros Halkias]

I haven't. Stomach. Yeah, dude, stomach. Check out Uncle Stav. There might be some material about my journey with Zeppbound.

[Chris Distefano]

So when you z. I mean, 10 milligrams, now, you're pushing that thing in for, like, 20 seconds, right? Like, it's slow or do you just light it? Let it.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think you just light it up.

[Caller]

Up.

[Chris Distefano]

Light it up, let it go.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's not like, more liquid. It's just more medicine. It's a more. It's a better.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. 10 milligrams, though. Do you notice that, like, day one, day two, it's really working. Then starts to fade.

[Stavros Halkias]

All of it starts. The way this works is it hits you like a brick wall. Actually, it takes, like, four hours to kick in. In my experience, four or five, maybe even six hours.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, you know, at this point, you know, it's like, oh, zappy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hit me. I know the. I know the rhythms. Typically, it hits me the most. Kind of. Let's say, 30 hours. 30. 30 to 36 hours after is when it's the. It gets you the most. Like, I've been sick. Because if you eat. Because the. The thing I've learned, and I definitely ate through it for months. Sure. If you overdo it day. Because there's a. You do it, and there's like, four hours before it hits you. And if you, like a moron, eat like shit during those four hours, all the junk food you ate, you binged Basically because at the end of your last shot, the second the medicine kicks in, right, they're like, oh, you wanted. Oh, you wanted pizza and wings at 2am Buddy.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's diarrhea for a whole day.

[Chris Distefano]

That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're gonna burp those disgusting like sulfur burps.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And because I've gotten over. Thank God. Because I've learned.

[Caller]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I honestly, it's like. You ever play like this is such a bad analogy, but like. Like a. Like, like Metal Gear Solid, we have to sneak around.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And like. Or even like a James Bond like 007 where it's like the guard walks down the hallway and when there's like a moment where the guard like turns his back that you could like sneak to your objective. Day seven of the shot, right. Like the day before you take the shot, that's the guard is all the way at the other end of the hallway. Yeah. And that's where you'd be like. And just fucking go crazy and eat like an animal.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But if you don't stop, if you do it a little too long and the guard turns his back and he catches you.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You are going to be shitting your brain because you're going to be throwing up.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, because. Yeah, it's that slow gastric emptying. So like that food that would have normally, I mean, went out of you in 90 miles an hour and then you're done. Is now you get the radar gun. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You point my ass at the radar gun.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's. You don't even have to watch Johnson just destroying the bird.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's the fucking velocity I'm shitting at without Zeppelin.

[Chris Distefano]

Without Zepbound.

[Stavros Halkias]

But.

[Chris Distefano]

But so, but I think you know the. Because what happen happened with me. What happened? See, because the I. I took it. I took a couple of zeppies. I took. I tried a little zep down and

[Stavros Halkias]

you dipped your toes.

[Chris Distefano]

I dipped my toes in it.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're looking good, by the way.

[Chris Distefano]

Thank you, baby. And. And so. And so I had. I had stopped it. I had taken. I was taking the red. A true tide. Which I. I told you on Chrissy Chaos podcast that that's like the triple Agnes. That's like the crazy one that's like not street legal yet.

[Stavros Halkias]

And where's the find about. Find out about this.

[Chris Distefano]

That, that the algorithm. I just started talking to chat GPT every day and you know Instagram's just to you. So then it just started pumping me all these meatheads that. But then it started. Which at first. Well, the meatheads at first were telling me about Red or True Tide on Instagram, but I was like, I don't believe them. But then jacked actual medical doctor started talking about Red or True Tide on Instagram. So I said, now I'm in.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know I don't like a jack doctor.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Something about it. I don't let my doctors the extremes.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, right.

[Stavros Halkias]

A little muscle. That's fine.

[Caller]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Don't. Don't send me a guy looks like Sam suck.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? Don't. Don't send me a doctor that's like. So your blood type's looking a little. And look, I know you guys. I'm fat as shit. Who is he to fucking tell you? He doesn't. Oh, he's fucking. I'm just saying. Me personally.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I have an aversion. And by the way, I want a healthy looking doctor. I want a doctor with a little pop in his body. Sure. I just don't want. I don't want neck.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? I don't want like. And I also don't want. And if they're jacked, I want them to hide it in the office setting.

[Chris Distefano]

Interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

When you see a doctor that is wearing a shirt that is just a little too small because he wants you to know he's jacked. Cause I have. Listen, I have a sex. I actually, I went to a pretty handsome doctor.

[Guest or Co-host]

I don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't want to dox him, but the guy's a. He's a piece of ass. Right? He knows it. Good guy. Shout out. Next time I see him, I'll ask him if he's comfortable with me.

[Chris Distefano]

You'll DM me his info.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's awesome. He's the man. He helped me with my back a lot. And he's a handsome guy. And I bet you he could dress in a way that probably accentuates his body more.

[Caller]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

But I don't want to notice my doctor's body.

[Chris Distefano]

No. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because what I want is my doctor to be like almost like a. Like a. An ethereal being of pure medical knowledge.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

My doctor could be a light beam, right. That like, doesn't speak with sound waves, but like shoots energy information into my eyes.

[Chris Distefano]

You want an Indian doctor like you want or with Indian energy?

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no, Like I didn't like.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, like, I mean like an ancient wisdom.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes. Which is a shaman.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who also when to. Is a real scientist. Yes, that's a good point. I want some mix of like, I want the vibe of a traditional medicine healer with the knowledge and the study of modern medicine.

[Chris Distefano]

I get it. You don't want your doctor to be coming in with a sleeveless lab coat. Yeah, exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I just don't want to think of them as human beings. I want them to be entities. Right, right. Which is tough. They're humans, of course. But you know, and same goes like if, like, for example, I had a. I think I've told this story before, but I had again, back in the day when I was bro. I just went to the first dentist I saw. Like, there was just a dentist on Steinway, did no research.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I was just like, all right, fuck it, I need a teeth cleaning.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they're like, your teeth are really. I hadn't been to the dentist like a decade.

[Caller]

Right, Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they're like, Jesus Christ, your gums are fucked. You know, I was getting to the point where it's like if I brushed my teeth, it was just like I was spitting out Hawaiian Punch. Yeah. Because I didn't. I also just didn't brush my teeth for like four years. And now I'm big on brushing. I know a 30 year old man bragging about brushing. Suck my dick. But. I know I'm 37, but I started brushing my teeth regularly at 30 years

[Chris Distefano]

old, you know, that's amazing. So you would go weeks without brushing? Once.

[Stavros Halkias]

And on the road, I didn't even pack a toothbrush.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I would just be like, if my mouth feel disgust, I would do one of these, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was a real piece of shit.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what you do? Your parents are overworked. They try their hardest. There's going to be some blind spots when your mom works jobs and your dad is working late. But, you know, just.

[Chris Distefano]

You figured it out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I had at that point my doctor, who at the time I thought was hot as shit. In hindsight, she was just a Korean woman with lip fillers.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

But at the time.

[Chris Distefano]

I like that though.

[Stavros Halkias]

Listen. I still like that. But at the time it was re. I was really doing it for me. She was kind of trashy.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it was like she had. And it's like she was hot and she had like lashes. And I literally pretended I didn't need anesthesia because I was like, I don't want her to think I'm a bitch, you know?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because so. Because in what world am I ever gonna fuck this woman? None. Right. But that just that caveman brain where you're like a beautiful. A hot woman that you want to fuck.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You just don't want to admit weakness in front of her. And this was my doctor.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

So what I'm saying is hot guy, jacked guy. Also, by the way, fat as shit. I don't want a doctor that's fat. No, I will say. I'll say I'll be a traitor to my own community. Yeah, I'll listen to that and listen. I'll listen to both the jacked and the fat doctor.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I'm listening to them less than just a reg. I just want bass. I want neutrality.

[Chris Distefano]

I get it. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So anyway, I'm sorry to. No, you off a jack doctor was telling you about retro.

[Chris Distefano]

I get that.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

No, but the guy in a chip bow tie, all this makes sense. Like even, even with the doctor. Like, I don't even want a doctor to like let me know that they know I do comedy. It already makes me feel like now I don't trust you. If you're spending, you should all your time should be researching cancer medicines. What are you watching? My podcast.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm not going to help you at all.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, Right. So. But yeah, that's a good point.

[Chris Distefano]

But he said, read a True Tide. So. So I started taking this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Was your doctor say Jack doctor on Instagram?

[Guest or Co-host]

Well, no, no.

[Chris Distefano]

So what happened was, is. Is the Dr. Jack doctor on Instagram kind of broke down. Read A True Tide and all the benefits of it. And then my friend who is a doctor.

[Caller]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

And my friend who is.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, no.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. My friend who is a doctor told me that he thinks like the benefits are there. So when. Anyway I started taking it and then I just started being like, ah, maybe this is. This is, you know, coming from China. These are Chinese peptides. Who knows what's in it? So I said, let me do the Zep bound, because that's the real FDA approved stuff. And I liked it. But for whatever reason, it just kind of the. The hunger, appetite suppression effects were a little bit more than the retatrutide. Because I'm sure I was just in. I was probably not injecting anything in my body.

[Stavros Halkias]

You didn't get the Retro Tide from a doctor?

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, no. Yeah, probably had not. It was just placebo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was getting fatter.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were getting clear your eyes. Somebody went and got eye drops.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Poured it into a little glass vial and was like, here you go, Chris, reading about this. It's good for you.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. 650. Cash only. Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The way I don't want casually root canals. I don't want cash only.

[Chris Distefano]

But so what happened was, is I took it and then like, it was doing. It was supposed to do. Making you not hungry, a little nauseous. And then I kind of was feeling like a little constipated.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that does happen.

[Chris Distefano]

And so I don't know what happened. Like, I woke up actually on our trip in colonial Williamsburg, Virginia, which is where I make my family. Family go each. Each year.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're the funniest guy in the world.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You really are just a dork.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who's like, liberal, likes gay. Like, and I don't mean that in the right way. You like gay media. We're talking on your bias. You like Muna, which is a band. I love.

[Chris Distefano]

I love it. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're so good. But they're. It's like lesbians and trans and non binary people.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who make just bangers.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You like the 1975, which is. I like that band also because I like. You know, but that's. That's literally music for women.

[Chris Distefano]

No, I. Literally, the way I found out about Muna is because I put the 1975 Spotify playlist on and Muna came up and I was like, I like them because they kind of sound like if the 1975 were even bigger lesbians. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was like, I'm in, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Chris Distefano]

So. So.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I love listening to 1975 and pretending a model broke up with me.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know that piece of shit's writing songs about the hottest one of all time.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they're. And you know what I mean? It's like, I love pretending that's my life.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I know.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love listening to that and pretending I'm a foppish little British man who just got head. Who, you know, broke some hot woman's heart. She cheated on him or something like that.

[Chris Distefano]

Banging Taylor Swift.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Oh, that's right.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, famously.

[Chris Distefano]

Of course famously. And. And. And so Matty Healy, Adam. Freelance show. Great.

[Stavros Halkias]

I remember that. That he went on. He went on their show and he was. Oh, man, that was so funny.

[Chris Distefano]

I was so upset when I saw Matty Healy on the Adam Freeland show because I was like, I want it to be the comic that got him, and I want.

[Stavros Halkias]

He probably would hate you.

[Chris Distefano]

And I. I know, I know.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, I. I purposely brought him up on Joe Rogan just so I was like, maybe he'll hear this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hilarious.

[Chris Distefano]

And he did. And then he reached out. He DM me.

[Stavros Halkias]

He reached out, no, he's the man.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And. And so. And so we started talking. He's a. He's a funny, cool guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

He actually is funny.

[Chris Distefano]

But it is. It does. Jasmine, my wife, like, we went to the 1975 concert in Master Square Garden, and I was like, couldn't wait to, like, go backstage and meet him. And I. I could feel it was turning Jasmine off, you know? Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, it is. It's the meme of, like, is it fellows? Is it gay to like music?

[Chris Distefano]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

And you know what? When your wife's Puerto Rican.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because you're. That's a. If it's a man and you like the song too much, you're gay, Right? And if it's a woman and you like it too much, she's. You're like, oh, you want to fuck her?

[Chris Distefano]

Fuck her, Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Kind of in a. You can't. You really can't win unless you listen to bachata.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, do you do this with music? When I listen to the 1975 or any musician, what I do is I get. Go into La La Land and go into a dream fugue state because I envision me being the lead singer. Like, I envision me being the lead singer, the next crowd singing to the crowd.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Does that. Is that.

[Stavros Halkias]

When I was a little boy, that's how I used to. Where I was like, I'm like this. Cause there was. I've said this before, but I was like, I really thought I was so hot because I think my mom believed in me so much and told me I was a handsome boy so much that, like, it really took me, like, until fourth or fifth grade to be like, wait, I'm a little disgusting. I'm a little fat guy.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm not the psa. Like, I was like, why don't these girls like me? Right? I was like, huh? In the movies, all the characters that I identify with go up to a girl and she's immediately in love with it. But in my life, they're all really mad when I try and talk to them. What's going on there? What is it?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then I figured out, oh, my life's gonna be different.

[Chris Distefano]

Hey.

[Stavros Halkias]

Literally, Stamos. I thought I was John Stamos, right? In my head, when I was a little fat boy, I saw myself as a child version of John Stamos in a leather jacket with my hair sleeved.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're like, I'm not joking.

[Chris Distefano]

You're like, mom, is it in America, Is it normal when girls like you for them to pepper spray

[Stavros Halkias]

is calling the police cuz you asked them how their day was. Is that a type of flirting?

[Chris Distefano]

Mom, Is that American or is that how it is in Greece, Mommy.

[Stavros Halkias]

But so, but so anyway, we don't

[Chris Distefano]

do that Gazette bound thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

So I spoke about Colonial Williams. I just think it's so funny that at your heart you're a, like, you're a liberal who likes, you know, queer coded art. That is a history.

[Chris Distefano]

And I love history. And I was beaten up for it a lot growing up in Ridgewood, which is, by the way, is the biggest historically designated place in the whole state of New York. But Ridgewood, if you go throughout Ridgewood, Queens, Brown, you'll know because all the street signs are brown. When you see a brown. When you see a brown street sign, that means a historically designated area. When you see a black street sign, that means that that actual street, not only is it historically designated, but the root of it hasn't been changed since they discovered it.

[Stavros Halkias]

So cool.

[Chris Distefano]

So you see those a lot downtown and then green is just regular.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right?

[Chris Distefano]

So. So that's pretty gay that I even know that.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Chris Distefano]

I love that.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, but you're a dork is my point.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're a dork and your wife is

[Chris Distefano]

like a hot Latino spin instructor.

[Stavros Halkias]

Spin instructor. And your children will probably not respect you 100%. They're gonna see you as a dork. But that's good. That's who you're meant to be.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think the problem is you need to get cucked.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

You, in your heart, you're a cuck and you're fighting against it. And you're trying to be an Italian who cheats.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you're actually a dork who should be getting cheated on.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then decide hire a non binary dominatrix to get it out of your.

[Chris Distefano]

But I do think I'm getting closer to that being. I think I'm getting closer to realizing who I actually am and what kind of life I actually want. Because I've been living the version of what other people want me to live. But it's not really what I want. I want to. I want to. I want to be front row at Muna while my wife is having an affair.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you know what? That's exactly what you need and deserve.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

That will bring balance to your life.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. Truly.

[Stavros Halkias]

In a way that I'm not even joking anymore.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And I think then you'll see the best. My. How you're. You put out your best work on Netflix and this special coming out. You'll see my best work. You'll see my best work when that happens, honestly. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Chrissy Cuck special.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Advertisement Voice]

The.

[Stavros Halkias]

The, like, you dealing with getting cheated on, accepting it and becoming a good, you know, and just being like, but this is my life.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I'm happy to do it. I love her.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

The best. Because I would also be really interesting.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It would be interesting Art to. To. Has anybody done a special about getting cucked?

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because people have done. Obviously, we've got divorce specials. We've got Richard Pryor setting himself on fire. I would love a really good. And we've had obviously, some, like, you know, there have been, like, let's bounce back from getting canceled specials that have their own specific energy, but bounce back

[Chris Distefano]

from getting cucked specials. Now, that's new.

[Stavros Halkias]

Seen that. Because that's not. Artistically, that's interesting.

[Chris Distefano]

That could be it because. Because I noticed something about me is, as the years have went on in my career is. Is I have the look of, like, people like, you know, someone like, the. The more like, liberal crowd or the crowd of, like, maybe comedians who came in and were, like, beaten up as kids in school and they got into comedy. They initially look at me and are like, fuck that guy. But then they get to know me, they're like, you know what? Chris is Okay. I like Chris, like, even. Even Redban, who hates everybody. And eventually he did come around to fully despising me. But. But initially, when he first heard about me, he was like, you know what? I'm on the fence with Chris. I don't hate him right away. I don't hate him right away.

[Guest or Co-host]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

So that tells me that there's something in me. I'm projecting something that I'm not, is what it is. Because.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you ever bully? Like, did you know, you never.

[Chris Distefano]

I never bullied. As a matter of fact, when I was always on, you know, on the teams of the athlete, whatever.

[Guest or Co-host]

You were.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you were.

[Chris Distefano]

I was hanging out.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were great. You're great at basketball, could play sports. You had the ability to bully. You had the build.

[Chris Distefano]

And I never did it.

[Stavros Halkias]

And you never.

[Chris Distefano]

I never did it. I was always the guy that was, like, talking like. Like, there's multiple people that I went to high school with that. The friends in my group chat who I went to high school with don't even know that they spent four years of their life with, you know, that Korean immigrant kid. But I know, you know, son, you know, and I would talk to him and we would hang out. I never played the Dungeons and Dragons and that stuff, but I was never mean to them. And I would never, like, you know, just flip over their table or hit them, you know, hit them with ketchup. I would just never did that. I'm like, ah, whatever. So, so, so for me, I think as life is going on, I'm realizing, like, like, okay, you presented yourself as somebody for all these years, but that really, with comedy, the real you's gotta come out here totally now. Now, who that guy is, I'm still figuring out, but I know it's probably because I. The first five years of my comedy career, I presented myself as an Italian immigrant, of course, and then I realized that I'm actually mostly German. Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean, I remember I didn't know you at all, and I was still like an open micr. You had a great Letterman set about sort of your dad being in the mafia.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it was really. It was really interesting.

[Chris Distefano]

And it's not true.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's. Yeah, it's mostly fabricated.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even my 911 bit is mostly fabricated. The one thing that made me stand out from the pack. But I look at. I think it's more of who I wanted my dad to be.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, Right. So that. So it's interesting.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your dad sucked the guy's dick.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The real stories, he was like, I'll do anything.

[Chris Distefano]

So my therapist told me, he was like, you know, you've done something interesting. You've taken who you want to be and who you want your dad to be and your mom to be and your life to be, and you've presented it, which is what creative artists do. So he's like, it's. You've. You know, if you were a painter, maybe you'd be painting stuff, but you do comedy. So the presented, he goes, the problem with you is because you are such a naturally honest, vulnerable person, you're presenting these things as truth when really in your heart, it's not who you are. So you got to get to the point now. Hey, present who actually I am. Who actually my family is.

[Advertisement Voice]

Did you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you have. As a child, Were you a liar?

[Chris Distefano]

Yo, big time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

But I was a liar. But it wasn't. It was interesting. Therapists uncovered this. It wasn't to be deceitful that the lying that I would do about my dad or family heritage was. Was more of a protective state because, like, I didn't want to tell someone that, oh, actually my dad, you know, gambled and lost everything and even my mom, I would say, oh, he's not here because he's in the mafia. So I would. That's what it was. It wasn't to like, get to be deceitful, like give me stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was. Right, right.

[Chris Distefano]

It was.

[Stavros Halkias]

You didn't want to explain the sort of very specific, like a complicated guy. Right. Like half a deadbeat, half a good dad.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Had a weird, very weird relationship with your mom even when they were separated.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, very weird.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's hard to communicate that in a schoolyard.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you then go to.

[Chris Distefano]

In the neighborhood I grew up in, if I grew up somewhere else, if I was like in Long island, you could be more open, but it's like you're not.

[Stavros Halkias]

You grew up in a neighborhood where Long island is the place you could be more open and with your feelings.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, liberal, long high.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You go to. You go over to the shore and you can actually say how you.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, these homos on Long island with their grass. What do you got a backyard? We live in apartments. Yeah. So. So, so I. But it's interesting as life because as. As I'm getting older here, you know, I'm going to be 42. It's like you realize, like, okay, you have career, you're having fun, you have a family. It's a. Like, you've mostly done stuff that other people want you to do, even though you presented as, oh, this is what I want to do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

So now it's like, what do you actually want to do? What do you want your life to look at? Now, unfortunately for me and my family, that does include moving one more time. No, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

You really want to.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, no, I can't. I. I actually legally can't this time. And so I'm.

[Guest or Co-host]

I'm.

[Stavros Halkias]

You were baking pies for the police force in your.

[Chris Distefano]

I know. Last time we're down to it. I will say I will stay in that village because my kids love the schools, but I don't know if I can keep living in that house.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're out of your mind.

[Chris Distefano]

I know. I do. Make two.

[Stavros Halkias]

Stop talking about finding yourself and being deceitful. You weren't deceitful, cuz you weren't lying out of deceit. It was for protection. Getting you therapist. And get to the bottom of why the. You move houses every day.

[Chris Distefano]

I know. Or why I constantly Want to. It's something crazy, dude. I don't know. There's.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can I guess?

[Chris Distefano]

Tell me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Here's my.

[Chris Distefano]

What are you. Seriously?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Here's my guess. The second you move into your permanent home with your family, there is no more wiggle room. There is no more. Maybe this won't work out. Maybe I will be single. You know, maybe I will just be a single dad and co parent and like, whatever. Maybe that is the final symbolic end to your youth, your scumbaggery, your fucking random whores, your. Your free freedom on some. Because I also had a father who saw. He saw his kids as an obligation. Right. And I think your dad was. It sounds like you have a good relationship and he was around, but also he left when he felt like it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't have that. You don't want to do that. Your dad. You want to be there, but somewhere deep inside to you, you crave the freedom. Your father had to just, whenever you feel like it, pick up and leave. And when you finally move, you renovate. You put everything in there. Even though now you're married. I mean, how fucking long did it take you to get married to a woman?

[Chris Distefano]

You had 14 years, right? Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, you fought.

[Chris Distefano]

I had to make sure it was serious.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have fought tooth and nail not to accelerate the seriousness of your relationship, because I think that represents. That represents sort of finality.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

That represents being the positive way. Great. I found my person. I'm with my family. We're gonna raise our kids in this beautiful, beautiful home. Yeah, whatever.

[Chris Distefano]

You can relax.

[Stavros Halkias]

But the negative is, well, I'm trapped. Right, Right. And so that's my.

[Chris Distefano]

Does every guy feel that, though?

[Stavros Halkias]

Do you know?

[Chris Distefano]

Would you feel that? You don't feel that?

[Stavros Halkias]

I do. He doesn't.

[Guest or Co-host]

I don't.

[Chris Distefano]

You have a wife and kids?

[Guest or Co-host]

No. No kids, but wife. Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

And you don't feel that? You feel like. This person makes me better. This is what I. This. I'm. I like this.

[Guest or Co-host]

She is like. You know, most people. Stop. I have my friends, but I'm like. Like I could like just spend infinite time with her.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Guest or Co-host]

And it's like, easy. It's not annoying. I don't know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She feeds the mules. She does all the things that Albanian women need to do.

[Stavros Halkias]

She polishes the stone. She polishes the stone to go sell at the market, you know, so maybe they make for Very nice.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they can buy a rudabaga and make a soup with it.

[Chris Distefano]

It's very nice. But you're saying stompers, you feel different. That's why you don't want to get.

[Stavros Halkias]

I have what you have have. I have a ver. My guess is no. Being friends now for a decade and seeing it, I have a different version of what you have because you, you are sort of like, you're tr. You've been, I think the moving, even though it's not true, you're committed. You know what I mean? You're in there. Psychologically, I think the moving is the one final.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

One foot in both worlds thing.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because until you're in the house, these kids are going to spend the rest of their lives with, with. And I would say to you, stop doing that, cuz you're your kid at this point. They can't keep moving different houses, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

And different schools.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Your, your daughter has like been in more Airbnbs than a touring comedian, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's been in corporate houses.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, kids do it. Military dads like. Yeah, we're not in the military. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, exactly. So anyway, that's my hunch, that's my,

[Chris Distefano]

it's a good point.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's, that's my guess.

[Chris Distefano]

Moving the kids schools where I, I, I even, I was joking around, this is recently. I was joking around the other day with my 11 year old and I was like, I was like, wouldn't it be great to go back to Queens? And she literally put. She had a spoonful of Cheerios. Yeah, she had a spoonful of Cheerios right here. She put the spoon down and she said, dad, I do not want to move again.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I mean, what you're doing, whatever the fuck you've done to her, she will in 30 years be talking to her. She'll be having this conversation and one of her friends will be like, look, the reason you refuse to move is because of all the.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like your daughter is going to be in the shittiest house of all time for her entire life.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Because she, that's the, you know, that's the like, flip of it.

[Chris Distefano]

Flip of it.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who knows?

[Chris Distefano]

That's because she'll never want to move. I know. Well, the thing is too, I think that, I think that now I finally am like that feeling of like, I want to move, I want to, I'm getting used to it. And what Jasmine said is she was like, I've noticed this feeling comes up a lot with you when you come off the road. She was like, part of your life. I think Part of you being healthy for you is you need to change scenarios a lot. So keep the family in one place here and you move around.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, well, that's the beauty of being a touring comics. Like when you get tired. I mean, I quote this Tom Papa joke all the time, but he's like somebody. He had a joke back. I used to open for Tom. He's the man. And he had a joke where it was like, people ask him like, oh, I mean, you're on the, you're on the road, you're away from your family every weekend. What's the hardest part of spending so much time away? And he said, and his answer was, was not whistling while I pack. Which is true. It's like this. I do think in a weird way this is a healthy way to channel that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have the kind of job where you do get to escape for a weekend and you're with your boys. You get to have a childish existence.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, dude. My dad was like, look, this life would be perfect for you and you can rent and all that if you didn't have a wife and kids. But because you have a wife and kids, you cannot continue to do that. I knew it was bad. The last move and it had to be the final one. And it was where even my dad, who's done wild shit, was like, chris, this is getting crazy now. You cannot continue to do this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, well, how about we get. Listen, we. We need to. I need the people know what you. What your mental problems are.

[Caller]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Chime in in the comments. Is this what the root of Chris's maniacal desire to move constantly is?

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

You let us know your theories. We're ready to hit the Stavi's World hotline. Presented by Visible. You've told us what your theories are on Chris by now in the comments. Let's see what they have. Let's see what our.

[Caller]

What our. What our.

[Stavros Halkias]

Our beloved listeners have to say. Hit us. LD I'm Hannah.

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[Caller]

What up, dog? This is probably a few times. I'm the guy who, on the live show, you told that maybe I should quit my job as a legal assistant, which I did do.

[Stavros Halkias]

As a what?

[Caller]

But I got a different problem.

[Guest or Co-host]

He called in on a live show, you told him to quit his job as a legal assistant, which he did do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, nice.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Good for him. He's like, now my life's horrible. I'm poor, I have no job. I'm destitute.

[Chris Distefano]

What the hell?

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm jerking off guys under the bridge.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Anyway, go ahead.

[Caller]

So my girlfriend randomly brought up the idea of a threesome in, like, a very nebulous way. She was like, would you be down?

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Caller]

In a hypothetical.

[Stavros Halkias]

Quite interesting. And I was like, well, yeah, no hesitation.

[Caller]

Like, now I'm like, well done. She definitely wants a threesome, but probably. Problem being we've heard some, let's call them, loyalty issues in the past. I feel sort of like her not cool bringing it up myself. I think then she'll, like. I don't want to trigger anything like that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Pause this. Does he tell. Does he say who has the loyalty issues?

[Guest or Co-host]

He doesn't specify, but it looks like it sounds like he's, you know, either he cheated. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which. Listen, if she's bringing it up and you cheated.

[Caller]

Cheated.

[Chris Distefano]

Hey, what are you gonna do?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, but if she cheated and you have the loyalty issues, like, you're scared about her, you saying I don't want to trigger her about it means you're a coward who actually is feeling a little insecure about this idea, but doesn't want to bring it up to his girlfriend who cheated on him in the past. So either way, I think if she's the one who cheated, I think you should bring it up. If you're the one who cheated, you don't have to talk to her about it, but you need to search your soul. Really think. Are you capable of having this threesome and not, you know, like the fucking sharks in Finding Nemo when you taste a little strange pussy, are you gonna go crazy afterwards again?

[Chris Distefano]

You know what I mean? Yeah. And if she's the one that cheated. And this threesome isn't gonna include you and another guy and her. Then what I do is I cordially invite you to the Muna concert with me.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's just a matter of time till you and Gris are front.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, we're gonna be there checking their schedule right after.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, finish. Let's see what else she has to say.

[Caller]

Do I just let her rock and see if she brings it up again, or is there a way I can finagle this actually happening? Oh, all right, Pete.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's all. Okay. That's okay. Interesting. I mean, again, going back to what we just said, think about those two things. I would. I would let it. I would not force it. I would not bring it up unless truly the perfect situation, which I don't even know what it would be.

[Caller]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

And my other question would be, like, is your girl? Like, yeah. What kind of threesome is this?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's the big question for me.

[Stavros Halkias]

I assume it's girl. My assumptions from his overall demeanor is that it's girl girl and she's interested in a girl. But my hunch is that she's the one who cheated. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, he said she's had some loyalty issues in the past.

[Stavros Halkias]

Say she did or we did.

[Advertisement Voice]

Did.

[Guest or Co-host]

He said we did.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, okay.

[Stavros Halkias]

So my guess is that you didn't give us enough information, if I'm being completely honest. But what are these loyalty issues? Let me ask you. First thing you have to realize is, do you actually want this? Do you actually think you can handle this?

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

The fact that you even brought up the loyalty issues to me. Say no, right? To me. This is such an incredible needle to thread. Like. Or thread to needle. Needle to thread. Needle to thread. This is such a tight needle to thread. Fuck you. Don't fucking laugh at me, you fucking piece of shit. That it has to be comically perfect circumstances for this to A, happen, but B, happen and not ruin a relationship.

[Chris Distefano]

I'll tell you this. It's never worked for me. It just. I think it's a bad idea.

[Stavros Halkias]

Have you had them in relationships or have you floated them in past relationships?

[Chris Distefano]

Well, it's been floated in past relationships. It got floated to me by a girl. And I didn't realize that. How eagerly and aggressively.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Woo woo.

[Chris Distefano]

Hurry up.

[Guest or Co-host]

Like that.

[Chris Distefano]

And it was. I walked into a trap. It was set up to see that she wanted to see that knee jerk reaction. And it confirmed all the things she believed and it ended the relationship. And in a Matter of days.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, my God. You fell for the, like, the cop being like, so you've been drinking tonight?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just a couple, Officer. You literally, like, just five.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah. Like, it was like.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was a long time ago.

[Chris Distefano]

It was like, hey, like, you know, you go on the road, I know there's other women. Like, you can't have sex, but you can get blowjobs. And I was like, oh, great. That. That really great. And she was like, no. The answer's supposed to be no. And you know what? This isn't working out good for her.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm on her side.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, that would be pretty sweet if a wife was okay with that. But 90. See, actually, 100% of them are not.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris just did it to himself, right? No woman even asked him. He felt you fell for it yourself.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You just said, oh, that was dumb in the past. And then you're like, now, listen, if somebody let me do that, I'd be awesome.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I would do it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, but that's why

[Stavros Halkias]

that auto blow machine is 27, Chrissy Cuck. 20, 27. That's what you need. That's the vision board. That's what you need to get cheated on.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's coming.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's flip the paradigm.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's when you'll be free.

[Chris Distefano]

Free.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because I also think part of cheating that much is kind of an insecurity of wanting to have kind of the upper hand when you're sort of. You don't really believe in yourself at the very, very core of things. But anyway, that's more. That's more armchair. Armchair speculation.

[Chris Distefano]

I like it. But that's why we're here.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's why we're here. This is. This is. None of this is legal. You know, I'm not. You can't fucking sue me for shit. This is all entertainment.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

So, yeah, dude, I think. Think I would say you're just not capable. I can hear the. How eager you are in your voice. This loyalty issue I need to know more about, but my main question is, do you think you could handle it on multiple levels? A, do you think you convince her? That's a hard but. No, she brought it up, maybe. Right. So I will actually give you. You might be able to convince her. Right? B, think about this, man. Think about this actual experience, I would say. I know Uncle Stav on Netflix is coming out in September, but why don't you check out Live at the Lodge Room? Where my final joke was about the first time I had a threesome and my dick could not get hard. I was so overwhelmed. Right?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I've been there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's like, it's like, look, we all want to play. A lot of people say, I want to be in the finals, I want to play in the playoffs. Those bright lights hit a lot of people shrink.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Dude, do you think you have it in you to fuck two girls? Nice.

[Chris Distefano]

And that's my nickname in back in Queens is because there was this big tournament, this big on three tournament called the Tommy Ashton tournament at. At St. Sebastian's in Woodside. And you would play on the side courts like it was a big tournament. And then if you got the championship, you played on the main court in front of everyone. And I was lights out on the side court. We would every year make to the championship and then my knees would buckle and I would be awful. So my name to my friends is Chrissy side courts.

[Stavros Halkias]

Chrissy side court.

[Chris Distefano]

They call me that because I again, and bringing up to the beginning of our conversation, I'm not the guy that wants the arena or my dick will get soft in the beginning of threesome. So understand like this American dream is not. It does. You don't. You don't have to go. You don't have to eat at all.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Take little bites.

[Stavros Halkias]

Totally.

[Chris Distefano]

So the threesome might be. I can already I can also hear in his voice, like, he's not a threesome guy. If you're calling into the show to get advice on it, you're not that dude. You're not that dude.

[Advertisement Voice]

That's gonna.

[Chris Distefano]

That's actually.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's a really good point.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

The guy who's. Who's ready for this does not need my advice.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

We have a three, so. So. But I would just say that's what I. That's the worksheet you have to do.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Is can you convince her? If you got it. Do you think you do a good job and enjoy yourself? Do you think your relationship could survive it?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you're not sure about any part of that, don't do it.

[Chris Distefano]

Don't do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Especially that's all I can tell you with this general information.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And without you telling us what the loyalty is.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Because what's going to happen, dude, is, is you're going to. First of all, if this girl. You're in the relationship with this girl and then you're to going. You winds up being a threesome with another chick. You're going to come in three pumps with the other chick and then your current girlfriend is going to be like, what the was that? Because it's new. And I'm just going to.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know a lot of ways this could go bad.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just got mostly downsides.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And look, using Occam's razor's razor, I

[Stavros Halkias]

would say without question, Occam's razor would

[Chris Distefano]

say, don't do this.

[Stavros Halkias]

But look, you got to be a dreamer sometimes.

[Chris Distefano]

100%.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I'm not. If you think you can pull it off, I'm not going to tell you not to swing dream to imagine. Dude, a classic. That's a refrain in my life. And I will also say, and actually here's a fourth thing to say. Let's okay for this. Can I pull this threesome off Rubric. Those three. If you want this relationship to last.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Now let's say this woman cheated on you and you're still resentful on some level and you're like, fuck, I just want to have a threesome. This isn't going to last.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm not going to on the record tell you to do that.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

But if that's what you have to make this decision in your heart. And I would also say, look, maybe it is a. Maybe it is a casual relationship and we're both in it for something for fun.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who knows? Who gives a. But do the. Do the worksheet. Fill out the worksheet we just gave you and you have to make the decision for yourself, my friend.

[Chris Distefano]

Go hard or go home.

[Stavros Halkias]

What else we got? Eldritch.

[Caller]

What's up, Savvy? Love the show. I'm 38, turning 39 in September, currently trapped in the classic male midlife high school.

[Stavros Halkias]

Loud as.

[Caller]

And I kind of need you to untangle it. So option A. I've been seeing this 41 year old woman. She is super sharp, successful in my like similar career paths, but she's entrepreneur. But she's on this like warp speed timeline to have kids kind of immediately. Part of me likes the idea of a stable future, but three months out of an eight year relationship and you know, I don't even know if I want children. Okay, so we got option B. I'm also talking to a 21 year old. It's completely fun, easy, zero pressure and it like feels amazing thing. Mostly because my brain is fried from this baby clock pressure with option A. But right, your brain is fried.

[Stavros Halkias]

So you have to a 21 year

[Chris Distefano]

old come on, it's the only way out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Come on, dude. And also 39. Look, I'm not going to tell you not to somebody much younger than you.

[Caller]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think age gap stuff is a little overdone.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

39 and 21. Like look, there's a point where it's like we just have to decide these are, we're all adults olds. But I do think you bump it up a couple years every the older you get. Right, right. Maybe in your mid-30s. 21 is something.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

39. I would bump it up.

[Chris Distefano]

Bump it up. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think to me my line is kind of 24.

[Chris Distefano]

24. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's not like I just feel like that's where it starts. I'm 37.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Most of your movies are with a 24.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

So a 24 put out. Yeah, my movies are by 824.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I guess head from a 24 year

[Chris Distefano]

old, that's my life. And dude, the company's happy for that. They're proud of you. You're a company man.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I'm actually, I signed a deal with a 24. I could only get head from 24 year olds. But anyway, look, I'm not going to poo, poo, whatever. I, I think the age gap can get overdone but I do think there's just. What are you talking about with a 21?

[Chris Distefano]

I think a 21 year old also

[Stavros Halkias]

he said entrepreneur with which if I hear the term entrepreneur, you're down three pegs in my mind.

[Chris Distefano]

One thing that changed for me because I am a man of science is one thing that changed for me.

[Stavros Halkias]

First and foremost, you're a man of

[Chris Distefano]

science 100% is that I saw this whole science thing and then looked really into it that most peoples females included, their brains don't fully form until they're 25.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh wow.

[Chris Distefano]

So really theoretically, even at 25 should be the age now. I, I did bring plenty of girls through a 20, 21. You can't change the past. But since I found that information, I wouldn't touch any. I wouldn't even entertain the idea if I was single, which I'm not. I'm in a happy loving marriage. 25 would be 25 and over.

[Stavros Halkias]

I and I think yes. And actually going back to Ray Romano, I remember a joke where he had where some, I think maybe it was in a later season where was he like his daughter was getting was a teenager. Maybe he had like, like a niece or something and they were like, well you're gonna, you know, it's like, oh, come on, you know, I don't remember anyway. This makes no sense.

[Chris Distefano]

You got jet brain.

[Stavros Halkias]

The joke was something about. I don't like that on girls under 25 either. It was something about dressing slow. And I remember Ray Romano in Everybody Loves Raymond making a joke about even to him as a married man, like 25 was the cutoff. And I think that's actually. Let's bump it up. You know what? Sorry. 8:24. I'm going to, I'm going to bump my up. I'm going to. I'm. I'm now 8:25.

[Chris Distefano]

A 25.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. Like that's, that's, that feels like a good cut and that's good.

[Chris Distefano]

And I think with this guy's problem is the 21 year old is not going to it. That's going to be a nightmare. The 21 year old.

[Stavros Halkias]

How about let's, let's let him finish because to me, what kind of bothers me, he's not even dating somebody young. But it's this weird juxtaposition he's done where it's like either a woman who's age appropriate or 21 year old.

[Chris Distefano]

And it's also like the answer's right there in the math. Just date a 30 year old and you're good. Right in between.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're a man of science now you're a man of mathematics.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's get the mean.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

40 plus 2161 divided by 2.30.5.

[Chris Distefano]

That's why. And then you have zero problems.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then you're kind of right in the right. Beautifully in the zone.

[Chris Distefano]

In the Goldilocks zone.

[Stavros Halkias]

Do we need to. Yes, exactly.

[Chris Distefano]

Exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right in the now, one is too hot, one is too cold. Let's get right in the middle. Does he have more elders?

[Caller]

With option A. But man, I'm 39 and she's 21. I kind of just like look like her cool uncle.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't look like that.

[Caller]

But. So my question is, do I snuck it up?

[Stavros Halkias]

No one sees in the adult world

[Caller]

they see Uncle A rise. A reckless rebound wave with option B. Or do I just stop being a coward and trying to pull the plug on both of them and go sit in a dark room?

[Stavros Halkias]

We were joking about it. We've heard enough. We were joking about it. But literally what we said is what he should do.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is not an A or B. The first woman sounds great, but you're not ready for that. You're just not ready for that. You're Probably. You're kind of immature.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And also you just got out of the relationship. Right.

[Chris Distefano]

You can't. You can't also be banging a girl where there's a more than 50% chance you're the same age as her father. That's also.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're right. Holy crap.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. Because many people have kids at 18, 19 years old. So I'm just saying it's still probably. There's. It's a higher chance than normal.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're right.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, you're right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's. It should be 25, 25 and up. And then 15 is the age gap. That should be the.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

When can you not be her dad?

[Chris Distefano]

Right, Exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let's start doing that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because six. I feel like 16 is when all the teen pregnancies.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Shows start. So. Okay. We're doing a lot of science here.

[Caller]

See.

[Stavros Halkias]

But. But yes. Dude, look, look. I don't understand why you've. I think you've made two mistakes. One is getting into a. Starting to date someone who could be a real partner for you if you were in a different place in your life. And look, also, that's a bit of a cop out if you really wanted to be with her. Like the idea that you're out of an eight year relationship and you're not ready for something serious. Other people might say like, hey, cuz, you're not fucking young either.

[Guest or Co-host]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like I've been thinking this where everybody around me is having kids and I'm like, if I. I gotta. If it's gonna happen, it's gotta happen soon. Right? Right. And so for you, it's not her. She's not being out of line wanting to have kids with you. She's 41, you're 39, you have more in common. You're in the same field. Like that makes sense. You're clearly not ready for that for a combination of reasons. Right. Let's not even get into it. Maybe you're mature. Maybe you really are. You know, that breakup is still fresh. Whatever. That's fine. You're all. You've. That's a mistake getting in that.

[Caller]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was a mistake to. We're not even telling you. Don't have a reckless rebound. Have it with a 25 year old, but probably take a second. Yeah. He said like sit in a dark room somewhere. Yeah. Dude, maybe take. I'm thinking about going Volsa for the fall.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not fully. Maybe a couple weeks.

[Chris Distefano]

A little bit.

[Stavros Halkias]

Give me two weeks. Anyway, whatever. Whatever. I'm thinking about just spending a moment for like just not worrying about this. Whatever. Maybe you need to do that, my friend. Take a second. And then when you're done, when the fog of war has lifted.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Then go date a 30.5 year old.

[Chris Distefano]

Right? 30.5. And then also too, it's not fair to the 41 year old who's kind of saying that she kind of wants kids and she, you know, her biological clock is ticking when you're out there banging a fucking, you know, Student.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's the.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right, right. You're banging a professor and her fucking student at the time.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's the other thing. You clearly don't care about the 41 year old. Cause you are seeing someone you know, that you see as a fling. So anyway, anyway, next question.

[Caller]

Eldis, what's going on, fellas? I'm in a kind of a weird situation in my life. So I have a niece and she just turned three the other week. And so me and her are going on like a little uncle.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's cute.

[Caller]

Niece date or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love that.

[Caller]

And it's my first time that I'm gonna be like out and about, just alone with her, like without my sister and my brother in law and all that. That. And my girlfriend brought up this thing to me and she was like, well, what are you gonna have to like, what are you gonna do when she has to go to the bathroom? And I was like, I don't know, just let her go to the bathroom. Apparently you can't let them go to the bathroom by themselves.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wait, how old is she?

[Caller]

And like, I don't know. I don't feel very comfortable walking into a woman's bathroom with a child that is not mine. I am her uncle. But like, I don't know, what do you do?

[Stavros Halkias]

You bring.

[Caller]

It just seems like a very weird situation.

[Stavros Halkias]

What the are you talking about? Yeah, I'm good to be in here. I got a baby.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, she ain't my.

[Stavros Halkias]

So hey, if you want me to look at your pussy, I will. But I'm just here for the kid, who's not mine, by the way.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, no, you bring her into the boys men's room.

[Stavros Halkias]

The fact that you're even that this is confusing to you. This. Okay, People have joked a lot like these people call. People call in for this. But this is. This makes me feel a little.

[Chris Distefano]

It actually makes me want to as a father somehow get in touch with your sister and brother in law and send them this and say, don't let your daughter leave with this kid because he does even know. He doesn't even have a bathroom plan.

[Stavros Halkias]

He doesn't have a. Yeah, I got news for you. She's going to have to piss 100%.

[Chris Distefano]

And you better know if you've never done this before, you better know which way to wipe. Front to back or back to front. Because one of them gives an infection and one of them doesn't. And I'm not going to tell you the answer.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right. Do a little research. What else? See what else you got to say.

[Caller]

I am her uncle. But like, I don't know, it just seems like a very weird situation. And I feel like you guys would have, like, some. Some takes and some advice.

[Stavros Halkias]

There's no takes.

[Caller]

I don't know what I'm going to end up doing. I might just have to bring my girlfriend with me. But. Yeah, I don't know. Is that not weird? I feel like that's a little weird. But anyways, thank you, boys. Eldestavros. Take care.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I think bring your girlfriend anyway.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can I ask what's weird? You're taking care of your baby niece. Like. Yeah, you do. Like, okay. You think this is weird because you're pretending she's a fucking grown. Grown up. Yeah, he's a child. What? Like, if she shits her pants when she's seven, which might happen. Sure. Is that. Is it weird to change her? No, dude, it's a little kid. We. I do think there's something weird going on. Where. I don't know, man. All the, like. All the, like. Like a lot of people have, like. And obviously we're ruled by pedophiles, clearly. And they should all be in jail, whatever. But this guy's like. It seems like he's. He's afraid to be thought of as a crime. Creep.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's. That's my. That's what I'm reading. That's the sort of like, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And there's nothing creepy about that. It's a family member.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. What I'm. I think the thing to say is, like, that's insane to think that.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

This is a child. This is a baby that is under your care. Yet if. If she was a grown adult, it would be weird to take her to the bathroom. It would be weird to change her. Is it weird to change a baby's diapers?

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, why. Why do you think just. Cause she can walk that she, like, would you let her drive a car? Yeah, Like, I don't understand what you're talking about.

[Chris Distefano]

It's like, what are you Gonna do

[Stavros Halkias]

you think she's either baby or adult. And it's like, dude, these are children.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And also too, I am thankful that you called in because if you would have walked into the woman's bathroom with that child, you'd be on the news. You, obviously, you have to go into the male bathroom. And if you really feel uncomfortable this, just have her shit in a plastic bag behind the venue.

[Stavros Halkias]

Go fucking Chinese immigrant style.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just have her squat on the sidewalk. Yeah, I loved seeing that. You'll still catch that in Chinatown sometimes. Marlon had a great story about seeing a woman pull a turd out of her baby son's ass.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just on the street.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. You know what I mean? That's how they roll.

[Stavros Halkias]

But anyway, dude. Yeah, don't. You're looking after a child. Like, have you never, like, changed their diaper? I guess he probably hasn't, but like, you know. Yeah, dude, this is part of being an uncle.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's no big deal.

[Guest or Co-host]

I'll play devil's advocate a little bit for this guy. I took my like, niece to karate once and she had to like pee during it. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. And I was like, you know, I've never really thought about this once. How much does she know in terms of like how to clean herself up and wipe or whatever? And I was like, okay, I went in there, I kind of like supervised. I helped her out, I got her. Right. But my point is how old?

[Stavros Halkias]

But hold on, your niece was already a fucking karate.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yeah, she went like hilariously young.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really?

[Guest or Co-host]

They just like put her in.

[Stavros Halkias]

She was just like 3 years old.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, she didn't. Yeah, a bunch. She's in there with a pacifier. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, roll.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's really funny. All right, all right, all right. But maybe we're a little unfair.

[Guest or Co-host]

There is something to. You know, it's good he's at least thinking about this so now he can like have a plan. And the plan is really like, okay, imagine you were a fucking three year old baby who doesn't know jack shit. How would you like the. The adult who's your custodian for the day to fucking treat you? You'd want them to fucking make sure you're cleaned up after you take a piss and all that. So.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Guest or Co-host]

Just think like that and totally.

[Stavros Halkias]

And look, I also get your very first knee jerk reaction being like, that's fucking weird. Or like, because it is in terms of a day with your 3 year old niece or nephew. Having to fucking supervise baby genitalia is the worst part of it.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Eating ice cream and swinging them on the swing, that's a lot better. Of course. And I, I get having a knee jerk reaction that's like, ugh, that's going to be annoying. And sure, it's the most annoying part. Part, but it's not something you should feel uncomfortable. It's just caring for a child.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I think, I think that.

[Stavros Halkias]

And yeah, if you need to take your girlfriend, that's fine. But I would also say like, you should be, you know, this is, being an uncle is sort of like you get to barely, barely scratch the surface of what a parent goes through. You get to just observe more than anything. So like, this is, see this also is a, this is big growth for you. This is a preparation for you maybe one day having a kid, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. But if you bring a girlfriend, have your girlfriend go into the bathroom with her, that's the best move.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. If they're close. She likes her, she trusts her. I mean, she might even be more comfortable with your girlfriend.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who knows? But yeah, don't feel weirded out about this. It's just, that's it. Caring for a child.

[Caller]

Davi baby eldest. The community realized listening to the show has been a theme of a lot of ass related questions. So I figured I'd finally call and ask my ass related question. Okay. Lifelong passion, passionate heterosexual ass eater. Here I've been with my wife a long time, okay. From the moment we first started getting sexual, I've always eaten her ass. You know, just in general, been a fan of it. She's got a big rap video ass on her. It's pretty spectacular.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome.

[Caller]

Lately, you know, just kind of of, you know, laying in bed or whatever, and I'll just be kind of grabbing her butt like we're snuggling or something like that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Awesome.

[Guest or Co-host]

Dude, that's.

[Caller]

And she stops me and she goes like, you know, I'm, you know, I play with my ass a lot and stuff like, that's fine. But why do you have to go like in between the cheeks? Like, can it just stop with just the ass? And I was kind of just taken aback.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's heartbreaking.

[Caller]

But like, I'm kind of starting to wonder if she thinks that it has something to do with like, or scat or something like that.

[Stavros Halkias]

What?

[Caller]

And it could not be further from the truth. You, you think, you try to explain where it's like, look people, your wife

[Stavros Halkias]

finally expresses a preference. She's probably been slightly uncomfortable about for your entire relationship. And you're like, she thinks I want to eat her shit. No, she might just not like getting her ass eaten.

[Guest or Co-host]

That's.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like, why do you immediately think she thinks you want to eat?

[Chris Distefano]

I don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

I really. I think.

[Chris Distefano]

Makes me think, actually, you do want to eat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Actually, you know, maybe you. Yeah. He's like, no, further. Nothing could be further from the truth

[Chris Distefano]

as he just has a pile of.

[Stavros Halkias]

I put a. A freshly baked waffle cone under her ass as she shits, swirl it around, and take a big lick on a hot summer day.

[Guest or Co-host]

Ew.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's gross to me. Let him finish. I suppose.

[Caller]

Explain yours. Like, look, people who eat aren't fantasizing about piss. People who eat ass fantasizing about this guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

But, you know, there's a different piss hole in the pussy, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I don't think he does.

[Stavros Halkias]

He actually definitely does it. Yeah, you don't. Also, you. You associate with piss.

[Chris Distefano]

I've never thought about being a pussy thinking about this piss here.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting. All right, keep.

[Chris Distefano]

I like the guy.

[Caller]

Been kind of alarming to kind of hear that. She kind of just sounds like she's just put up with me doing this for all these years and kind of like a staple item for me.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. That's tough.

[Caller]

So I guess the question would just be how do I convince her if there's nothing gross or weird about it? Is there still a stigma around eating ass?

[Stavros Halkias]

This is not a no. She's not taken aback by this. This isn't new to her. She's just fine. Like, dude, I don't understand why he thinks she's, like, recently read literature about ass eating.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Clearly. Yes, you're clear. All this is, is that she has. She's just not that into getting her ass eaten. Right. Let's get back to Occam's razor.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? Occam's razor. Maybe she doesn't want to use Occam's razor to shave her asshole in. That's what it is. Maybe she wants. Maybe she just doesn't want you to eat her ass. Maybe she's wants you to play with her, jiggle her ass, maybe take a little bite, give it a smooch, whatever. She doesn't want you getting in the hole. I don't think it's anything crazy. I don't think. You know. And yes, this I get why he's devastated.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

But you should. You shouldn't be confused or try and like, you know, Be like, mo, I'm not trying to eat your shit. I think if you said that there, she'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? This is tough, though. I get it. Like, if Taco Bell took the crunchwrap supreme off the menu, I'd be sad.

[Chris Distefano]

Be sad.

[Stavros Halkias]

This woman's about to take. Yeah. Ass eating off the menu potentially.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And I.

[Stavros Halkias]

Or she might make it a seasonal item.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know, maybe now, ass eating used to be the big max for you. Now it's the McRib. Right. Maybe you get it twice a year when pork prices fall.

[Chris Distefano]

And listen, I know initially it coming off the menu and only go and going back to seasonal for you might initially seem like, this is upsetting. I can't do this. I need to eat her ass every day. But think about this. If she pulls that back and you can only eat it four times a year, the chances of her one of those four times letting you eat herself, shit goes up. Right? Which is what you want to do.

[Stavros Halkias]

What you want to do. It's so clear you want to eat her shit.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah. So think about it that way.

[Stavros Halkias]

Think about it that way. And look, I will say this again. This is just. She has just communicated with you. This is her way of indirect, slightly indirectly being like, you know, what?

[Guest or Co-host]

What, What.

[Stavros Halkias]

What is this about? Why do you like eating my ass so much? And the implications is she doesn't like it that much. And I think from now, the thing you discuss now, you negotiate something that works for both of you.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right now you're like, all right, do you actively dislike it? Like, I have dated girls who are like, I don't want my pussy. And I'm like, can I just. It's kind of part of my warmup.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? It's kind of part of my whole thing. It's like, LeBron has to get to the arena four hours early. If you don't let him get. He has to get a pre game pump on.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

If you don't let LeBron lift his weights and throw his chalk up in the air, he doesn't want to get right to the game. And look, for me, I want to take a couple little every once in a while. Not every time, but. You can't not let me eat pussy ever.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I can't live like that.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

I can't. And I also. The opposite has happened where someone's like, look, I don't. I'm not really into sucking dick. And I was like, that's going to be a really big problem around here.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, we're going to have to negotiate a settlement where we can both live with things. So you need to be like, look, do you hate this?

[Caller]

This.

[Stavros Halkias]

Does it make you feel like a piece of. Because if you hate it, I'll never. We don't have to do it, but if it's something you tolerate, I can do it less. And let's come to a number that feels right or gen. You know, naturally you'll find a rhythm where it's like, you throw it in once a month. You throw it in twice a month, whatever.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, we can go. I don't have to eat your ass after every meal like what was previously. But let. But we can't just go to zero. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Exactly. That's all this is. I don't think. I think you have the conversation and the logical follow up is, hey, hey. I just like it. You were taken aback. So you couldn't communicate. And I get that. Right. Like, the best time to have a conversation is, like, in the moment. But that can be hard. Those are emotional and not just sexual stuff. Like, you know, real arguments. When you have a problem, when you've been offended, when someone's pissed you off but you're you. You know, it's natural to not. It's actually like a hard thing to be the kind of person who just says what they feel immediately, even in adverse situations. Yeah, you were caught off guard. You were. You didn't. You didn't. You weren't ready to defend your love of ass eating. But this is your wife. This is the woman you love. You can now bring this up and say, hey, I was thinking about the conversation we had. I just fucking. I just think you're. I love your. I love your liking it. If you don't. If you don't like it. I thought you like. I just assumed you really like this because I do it every time.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

We can dial it back. I. If, if you don't mind, I'd like to keep it in the mix though.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'd like to make it. I'd like to maybe drop down, like we said, from an everyday item to a seasonal item, but that's all, dude. That's the conversation you need to have.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then you look, she might be like, oh, okay. Well, no, keep doing it. That's fine. You know, it's not my favorite thing, but I don't mind. Like, who knows? But again, like every. Like most. Most calls here. Communication is key, baby.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's all you got to do. You got to figure it out with your. With your. Your. Was that a sal for burp? No, no, that was just a. That was just a. Just regular heartburn, I think.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, nice. Yeah, that was. That was just a. That was just a pending heart attack.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You guys smell toast? El, just turn the toaster off.

[Guest or Co-host]

Come on.

[Stavros Halkias]

I start speaking.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Stavros Halkias]

She's fine. I just start speaking German. I've never spoken.

[Chris Distefano]

My arm starts going up.

[Stavros Halkias]

I start speaking in Greek, convulsing.

[Chris Distefano]

Half your face is dry.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I'm just go crazy. Anyway, I'm not having a show. I don't have sulfur burps. I'm going to live till at least 62.

[Chris Distefano]

Great.

[Stavros Halkias]

Next question. A little el dunce.

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Caller]

A stove and esteemed guest coming at you with a close friend. Question. My buddy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Your buddy.

[Caller]

We have a weekly movie night on Friday nights with a rotating pick between me, him and my girlfriend who I've been with for about five years.

[Stavros Halkias]

Let me guess.

[Caller]

Recently.

[Stavros Halkias]

Girlfriend.

[Caller]

He has started inviting the girls that he has been dating for two, three weeks. Right. And they have been cycled.

[Stavros Halkias]

Movie night is not. Anyway, let me let him finish before I jump down his throat.

[Caller]

And they have been cycled through and my girlfriend is uncomfortable.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, this is different than.

[Caller]

I want new women consistently coming around.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, that's fair.

[Caller]

Would I be a dickhead or telling him that I want him to date the women that he brings to my house for more than a month before he brings them here? Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, this is interesting. My initial knee jerk reaction was to be like, dude, shut the fuck up. Watching fucking, you know, Dario Argento movies.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

With your Fucking girlfriend and your. And some guy and some like. And your best friend and the girl he's banging every once in a while. This is not hallowed. This is not Thanksgiving with your grandmother. Right, right. But if he's doing it every. If every two weeks there's a different girl, that would annoy me. Right? And especially because it's like, if I like. Actually, we kind of have a perfect analog here, Eldis, which is like you. You and your wife. If I came, if we were watching a movie. Look, if I brought a girl that I was casually dating every once in a while, no one would bat an eyelash. But if every week we had a tradition and it's the only time. And look, as you become adults, you don't really see your friends that much. It's the only time you get to kind of chill. If every time, our anchor for connection, my girlfriend has to be like, so what do you do for work? You know what I mean? You're kind of forced to. If I was forcing Eldis wife to make stilted small talk with a woman, an insane woman from Instagram with some whore from Raya. These are beautiful women. If I did it all the time, that's weird. So I don't think you're a dickhead, but this is an interesting. Again, I keep saying needle to thread, but this is an interesting situation where it's like, look. But I also don't think, you know. You know, if he did it every once in a while, I would say relax. But the fact that it's every couple weeks is weird.

[Chris Distefano]

That. And also too, one thing you said is that your wife or girlfriend or whatever is the one with the problem with it. For me, then you have no choice. If your girlfriend was cool with it, who cares? But because she's not, you got like, I have a friend who frequents prostitutes.

[Caller]

And.

[Chris Distefano]

And we've met and he's. And. But he, like, goes. Es friend. Yes, yes, yes. Looking in the mirror. And he's brings these girls around. Like, he. He pays to, like, hang out with them. Like, he's one of those guys and we've met them a couple of different girls, whatever. It's always.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hold on, what do you mean we.

[Chris Distefano]

Me and my wife Jasmine, because we hang out with this guy a lot. But he. She had to tell him, hey, listen, you know, obviously you've been invited to our wedding. You cannot bring an escort. Just don't. Yeah. And he. And he was kind of like, well, then I guess I'll just come solo and. Because that's because that's just how he is, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

And look. No, yeah. That's a very fascinating relationship.

[Chris Distefano]

And I want to, by the way, give a shout out to that friend. You know, who you are. You just made lieutenant at the nypd, so congrats. So it's foolproof for him because he knows where all the stings are, so.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's, that's the best part about cops. How they equally follow the law.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And don't take advantage of their position ever.

[Chris Distefano]

At all.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's fucking insane. Look, and I'm. I'm pro sex work, whatever. But it is, it's. I just find that an odd relation. It's an odd thing to do.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't love that. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

To bring. To like. And look, I'll be honest. You want to. If you're. If it's like a party, if it's like a bar, whatever.

[Chris Distefano]

But like my home wholesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

And again, no disrespect to. I would. It's almost like bring a sex worker off duty to your home, no problem. I just don't want her working at brunch.

[Chris Distefano]

You know what I mean?

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, that's. That just feels like an odd energetic mix.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, and this guy too. Like, if this guy's girls, it's like you also don't know who you're bringing into your homes. Like some random stranger that.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I gotta say, gotta be nice for her. She's like, oh, I get Ex Benedict instead of sucking this lieutenant's dick instead of sucking his. Probably like a peptide injected king. It's probably hot dog Red from his fucking off brand trt.

[Chris Distefano]

He's the plot. He's the guy I got the peptides from. He gets them straight out of the East River. They intercept them from the Chinese government. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

He's like, chrissy, we just busted another shipping container. Peptide tides on me. Another year. That's right, it is. Yeah. I mean, look, I think. Yeah, you're not. I don't think you're in the wrong at all here. I think like. And look, it's. Again, it's different how old they are. If this is college, who gives a fuck? But again, as you get older, you don't get to see your friends.

[Chris Distefano]

I agree.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't have community in our everything in America so atomized. Especially if you live in the burbs. You don't live in a walkable city. It's a real estate effort to have a weekly appointment with you. And it's by the way, that's cool. I think more people should do that. I'm really excited for when I get set up and I'm off the road. I want to have like a weekly. I want to have, like, in this office. I want to have, like, you know, brunch. I want to have parties. I want to actually get to see my friends and hang out. And it's good that you're doing that. But no, I don't think you're in the wrong at all to be like, hey, man, I barely get to see you. And. And really, like you said, it's his girl. Your girl has the problem. And you're like, can we just. Can this just be us or. Or we're happy to. We want to meet the girl. You're like, if I brought. I think your wife would be thrilled if I finally had a girlfriend. Right. Like, if she. If she could actually make friends with someone I loved and respected, I think she would really like that. And I'm sure this guy. Cause, you know, they're friends. Like, he. You don't. You don't. Third wheel a weekly appointment without actually being friends with a girlfriend as well.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, clearly all three of you have a good friend friendship, you know, whatever. And I'm sure she would be pumped if he had a serious girlfriend. And you could just be like, look, dude, this is the only time we get to see you. We spend half the time fucking asking this girl. Essentially, you make my girlfriend go on a first date with a girl every week. Can we just institute a one month dating rule?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And that's. And by the way, that's even lax, right? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, one month isn't that crazy? You know? So I don't think you're in the

[Chris Distefano]

wrong here at all.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I think, like, you know, it's an interesting one because I would. I would be curious to see how he reacts because this guy might just be seeing this as, like, nice. I don't have to spend money on dating these fucking bitches. He might be like, great, I don't have to pay for a date. They think it's more serious because I'm introducing them to their friends. But really, I just want them to drink your sodas and popcorn.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

You know what I mean? Like, he could be kind of scumbagging this.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because also, I'll say I would find it weird to do this as somebody who's not. I don't think I would, you know, Like, I would not behave this. This way.

[Chris Distefano]

It's very strange, even in my single days when I was an absolute idiot, I don't think I would do this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. So, yeah, you're totally. You're totally in the. You have no. I see no problem in having this conversation with them. And I would frame it as, like, look, dude, we make an effort to stay in each other's lives, and we have to use half that time, you know?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And these girls better have been showing up with snacks and charcuterie boards and something.

[Stavros Halkias]

No, but I don't even expect them to do that. That's expecting them to do too much. They don't even know that this guy.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, they're probably weird. That's also probably why you have a new girlfriend every three weeks. Because after you keep taking them to, like, your friend's wife's house to watch movies, they're like, I don't like this guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing.

[Guest or Co-host]

He's not doing, like, his due diligence to date and get. No, it's like, yeah, you can't just outsource the social life.

[Caller]

To me, this.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's what this feels like to me. He's just like, great, I don't have to make reservations. We're going to Frank's house and watching.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

World. Yeah. I don't love.

[Stavros Halkias]

We got. So where we at here? We got something fun for us to go out on Elders.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yeah, let's.

[Stavros Halkias]

And Chrissy, in the meantime, we should. We'll put, you know, we should say Chrissy chaos.

[Chris Distefano]

Come on. Patreon.com history hyenas. Christy. Comedy.com. got standup dates. Go check them out. See if I'm coming to your city.

[Stavros Halkias]

Summer Bear. Summer Bears two. Maybe next summer.

[Chris Distefano]

Probably next summer.

[Stavros Halkias]

Summers from now.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who knows?

[Guest or Co-host]

We should just syndicate that right onto our channel here and start doing it honestly.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, well, if Bert has another stroke, we're in. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I did not even know he had a stroke.

[Chris Distefano]

I. I heard he had a stroke. It might not have been true. Yeah, maybe you.

[Stavros Halkias]

You catch up with your friends the same way you do research about peptides. You saw an Instagram reel, you saw some comedy drama channel call him fat. You're like, oh, I must have had a stroke.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, crack. Amico said he had a stroke.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Give us something fun here to go out on. Big Eld.

[Caller]

Hey, Stuff. Hey, Eldis. Hi, esteemed guest. This is just a response to a caller on the Carl Tart episode of the Guy with the Huge Cock and the Onlyfans Girlfriend that You know, his cock's so big she has to get the IUD taken out.

[Stavros Halkias]

The guy who told us.

[Caller]

Having trouble with.

[Stavros Halkias]

For no reason, he told us coming

[Caller]

up with birth control ideas. Just want to say, as a 28 year old man who has gotten a vasectomy myself, best experience in my life. Not only did my doctor prescribe me a, oh, I got a single Xanax to pop on my way in, but during the procedure, I got the Huff nitrous the entire time and laughed the entire 15 minutes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Laughing while someone slices your cock is That's. I mean, that's the Joker. You're literally the Heath Ledger joker.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Someone's got a scalpel. Someone's fucking butterflying your dick down the center like it's fucking chicken cordon bleu. And you're fucking. That's so fucking funny. So he's a 28 year old that got his shit snipped, huh?

[Chris Distefano]

That's even earlier than Ari.

[Stavros Halkias]

Respect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally Ari. It should have been in the womb.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Caller]

So highly recommend the vasectomy. The recovery. One week tops. Three out of ten, pain, ten out of ten. Recommend. Okay, let's crowdfund this guy's vasectomy.

[Stavros Halkias]

I like that. I think if I were ever to have children or decide I don't want children. Children, I would definitely get a vasectomy.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I mean, I have pretty much. I mean, I have two biological and a stepson, so three kids that I'm raising. Everybody I know, everybody I know, who's my age, who's my situation, has two or more kids. Like, why would you get a vasectomy? But I just feel like it takes something from my manhood. I don't know what I want. I don't know why. I know. It's ridiculous. I know. And I don't.

[Stavros Halkias]

I don't want to get into Italian Ridgewood. Remember, you're not. You're not an Italian for Ridgewood. You're a German who likes fucking muna. Who likes. Who wants to colonize colonial Williamsburg.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not a challenge to your manhood, you idiot. I know a procedure that makes it so you won't have a fourth kid.

[Chris Distefano]

I know. And it's already.

[Stavros Halkias]

And then, by the way, the next time you move, you have to look for seven bedrooms, right? Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

When you move in six months, you want to look for another.

[Chris Distefano]

I know. And it's also, like, I've already upset my German ancestors by having children outside of the gene pool, right? So it's like, what I'm just going to continue to do that. So, of course my German ancestors would want me to get a vasectomy. They would want you to say, stop.

[Guest or Co-host]

That's true.

[Chris Distefano]

You haven't done. Right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but they would be like, like, look, send some of your jizz over to Dusseldorf.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And give it to a blonde hair, blue eyelad.

[Chris Distefano]

And that's what we want.

[Stavros Halkias]

Snip your shit up.

[Chris Distefano]

Everybody who I know who has gotten a vasectomy says it's painless. And he says, actually, part of the rehab is you have to clear the chamber. So the doctors encourage you to jerk off. That you have to jerk off. I think it's something like 10 times in three days. You have to go. You have to, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

You have to go Middle school mode.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, you have to.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's like, literally, like, get an FHM magazine.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Alyssa Milano on the COVID But it's

[Chris Distefano]

like two days of, like. You have to call out from work and, like, tell your wife and family, like, I'm in the basement jerking.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sorry, prescribed jerking. My.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

My doctor said I must beat my. Well, that's interesting. And that's. That's good advice. Elders. Would you ever get one? You also probably think it takes your manhood away, don't you? Dumb.

[Guest or Co-host]

Yeah. I can't give up my vital.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. My Albanian. My Albanian. Goofy.

[Guest or Co-host]

I'll be less than a man if I do that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll basically be a Kosovar.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right. Interesting. Well, that's good advice. That's. Our callers even end with advice. Chrissy, thank you so much for being here.

[Chris Distefano]

Thanks, baby.

[Stavros Halkias]

Great to see you. Check out Chris. Watch Tony if you're in New York or LA this week. Watch tires next week. And on September 8th, this is the big one. Please, please watch Uncle Stav. I worked really hard on it. Directed by Matt Johnson. We're working to get some really cool. A really cool band to do the music. We're almost. We've almost finalized the deal for that, so I'm really, really proud of it. And I will say I'm proud of the hour. I worked really hard on it, and I also. I'm proud of. We're doing some creative stuff. I mean, when you get Matt Johnson, he's a fucking. I would never like. I would never tell this to his face. I would never compliment to his face. He is a visionary in many ways. He's so creative and his boy, his editors are the best. Have you. Have you seen Nirvana, the band the show.

[Chris Distefano]

No, but Jasmine was watching it on a flight to Ireland and dying.

[Stavros Halkias]

So fucking funny. It's also such an incredible, like, technical achievement how those guys edited Shout out to Kurt and Bobby. Shout out to Jared, the DP on the, on the, on the special. Their whole team, the guys who did that. And they edited Tony too. Kurt and Bobby. So good. I fucking, I mean, I can't say enough. So if it's, if it. It'll pop up on Netflix soon as, like, remind me. Please do that. Whatever you can tell all your friends. Friends, this is the fucking thing I've worked the hardest on. And when I'm done this, I will not ask you for anything for a year at least. I'm not going on tour. I'm not promoting shit. But you. I will be begging you to watch this special from now until the end of September. So just get ready. I will be shilling nonstop. But anyway, lot of stuff going on here. Lots of opportunities to see me. I'm in. I'm in the Cineplex. I'm on Netflix. I'm on a sitcom. I'm doing it all. And after that, I'm going to disappear here once and for all. A lot of people say this.

[Caller]

Oh.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, let me guess. You're going to lose weight. You. Yes, I am this time, man. Yeah, I have to. I'm going to die. I won't be able to walk if I don't lose weight soon. I can't keep getting cortisone shots to do standup. You know how pathetic that is? Anyway, before I spiral completely, I started plugging things and I was. And then I just started losing my mind there. Check out Chris, check out my and we'll see you soon.

[Caller]

Foreign

[Chris Distefano]

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[Stavros Halkias]

hey, listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.