#99 - Wes Haney and Daniel Simonsen

Summary

Podcast Summary: Stavvy's World Episode #99 - Wes Haney and Daniel Simonsen

Release Date: October 21, 2024

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Introduction to Episode and Guests

In Episode #99 of Stavvy's World, host Stavros Halkias welcomes special guests Wes Haney and Daniel Simonsen. The episode centers around their collaborative indie comedy film, "Let's Start a Cult", which Stavros co-wrote with Wes and their friend Ben Kitnick. Stavros emphasizes the importance of supporting the film’s release on October 25th, urging listeners to watch the movie in theaters for a dose of "90 minutes of very, very stupid comedy."

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [01:03]: "It's 90 minutes of very, very stupid comedy. If you like this podcast, you will like the movie, I promise you."

Behind the Scenes of "Let's Start a Cult"

The conversation delves into the challenges and humorous moments experienced during the making of the movie. Wes Haney expresses humility and excitement about their achievement:

Notable Quote:

Wes Haney [02:40]: "I'm humbled to the highest degree right now."

Daniel Simonsen shares his surprise at the movie’s screening across various theaters, highlighting the grassroots nature of their project.

Notable Quote:

Daniel Simonson [03:06]: "I didn't even know about that."

Stavros reflects on the roles they each played in the film, humorously likening himself to a "James Dean movie star" and Wes to the "haggard old villain."

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [03:08]: "I'm sort of like the kind of like the James Dean movie star of it... Wes is the haggard old villain who I have to defeat."

The trio discusses the rigorous filming schedule, often working 14-hour days, and the camaraderie that developed despite the taxing conditions.

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [55:00]: "We were working like 14 hour days and then just get back, get Taco Bell or kebabs or we would drive..."

Cultural Exchanges and Personal Stories

A significant portion of the episode explores cultural differences, particularly between Greek, Norwegian, and South American societies. Daniel Simonsen recounts his time living in a Greek house in Paris, describing the sober yet vibrant social gatherings characterized by traditional Greek dances like the Zbekiko.

Notable Quote:

Daniel Simonsen [12:01]: "Was really strange. Whenever I saw that, I would just kind of tiptoe away."

The hosts humorously critique stereotypes and share anecdotes about adjusting to different cultural norms, such as the contrast between relaxed and stringent societal behaviors.

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [10:24]: "He was the Italian Rick Moranis."

Listener Calls and Relationship Advice

The latter part of the episode features listener call-ins, where Wes, Daniel, and Stavros offer humorous yet insightful advice on various personal relationship dilemmas.

1. Caller 1: Marriage Pressure at 25

   • Issue: Uncertainty about proposing due to societal pressure and being the youngest among friends getting married.
   • Advice: The panel suggests introspection and emphasizes the importance of making personal decisions without external pressure.

   Notable Quote:

   Stavros Halkias [63:51]: "If you're a young lady, think... Have a great one."

2. Caller 2: Open Relationship and Sexual Boundaries

   • Issue: Navigating sexual relationships outside a long-term partnership without disrupting the primary relationship.
   • Advice: Encourages open communication and honesty to maintain trust and understanding within the relationship.

   Notable Quote:

   Stavros Halkias [74:49]: "It's like, this is digital age, everybody's seeing everything."

3. Caller 3: Changing Beauty Standards

   • Issue: Concerns over evolving beauty standards and maintaining personal appearance.
   • Advice: Emphasizes self-acceptance and finding personal style over conforming to fleeting trends.

   Notable Quote:

   Stavros Halkias [89:14]: "Just be yourself. You're clearly a little neurotic too."

4. Caller 4: Excessive Horniness from Increased Workouts

   • Issue: Struggling with heightened sexual urges due to intensive gym workouts, affecting marital relations.
   • Advice: Recommends balancing physical activity with mental health practices and possibly consulting a therapist for underlying issues.

   Notable Quote:

   Stavros Halkias [95:08]: "He needs to do shrooms, right?"

Humorous Segments and Final Remarks

Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse humorous takes on serious topics, offering a blend of comedy and genuine advice. They also promote their collaborative film, encouraging listeners to support their indie project.

Notable Quote:

Stavros Halkias [99:10]: "Please watch the movie. Get to theaters."

The episode concludes with playful banter and additional promotions for their movie and upcoming projects, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and camaraderie.

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Key Takeaways

• "Let's Start a Cult" is an indie comedy film co-created by Stavros Halkias, Wes Haney, and Daniel Simonsen, set for theatrical release on October 25th.
• The podcast episode offers an inside look at the making of the film, highlighting the challenges and humorous experiences of the trio.
• Cultural exchanges and personal stories enrich the conversation, providing unique insights into Greek, Norwegian, and South American lifestyles.
• Listener calls provide relatable relationship dilemmas, addressed with a combination of humor and sincere advice.
• The hosts maintain a light-hearted atmosphere while discussing personal and cultural topics, staying true to the podcast’s essence of being a place to "hang out with your pal Stav."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Stavros Halkias [01:03]: "It's 90 minutes of very, very stupid comedy. If you like this podcast, you will like the movie, I promise you."
• Wes Haney [02:40]: "I'm humbled to the highest degree right now."
• Daniel Simonsen [03:06]: "I didn't even know about that."
• Stavros Halkias [03:08]: "I'm sort of like the kind of like the James Dean movie star of it... Wes is the haggard old villain who I have to defeat."
• Stavros Halkias [63:51]: "If you're a young lady, think... Have a great one."
• Stavros Halkias [74:49]: "It's like, this is digital age, everybody's seeing everything."
• Stavros Halkias [89:14]: "Just be yourself. You're clearly a little neurotic too."
• Stavros Halkias [95:08]: "He needs to do shrooms, right?"
• Stavros Halkias [99:10]: "Please watch the movie. Get to theaters."

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Recommendation: For fans of comedy and indie films, Episode #99 of Stavvy's World offers a mix of behind-the-scenes insights, cultural anecdotes, and relatable relationship advice, all delivered with Stavros Halkias's unique comedic flair. Don't miss the opportunity to support their new film, "Let's Start a Cult", hitting theaters on October 25th.

Transcript

[Stavros Halkias]

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[Stavros Halkias]

Welcome to Stavi's World, everyone. We have an incredible show for you. Wes Haney, Daniel Simonson. They'll be on in a minute. We just want to let you know and we talk about it, but October 25th, let's start a cult. The movie that I star in, I wrote it with Wes and our friend Ben Kitnick, comes out in theaters. It's in all these cities. Eldest will put these in, in post production, hopefully, or I'll kill him. And you can, by clicking the link below, you can get tickets to see it. Please buy tickets to see it. Go outside. Go to the movies. It's 90 minutes of very, very stupid comedy. If you like this podcast, you will like the movie, I promise you. And if you live in any of these cities, go see it. I'm begging. I'm on my knees begging. Now, without further ado, let's start the show. Welcome Everybody to Stavi's World. 904, 800 stuff. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We have a very special important episode. This is me. We have soon to be indie hit comedy. We have the cast of let's Start a Cult here. Wes Haney, Daniel Simonson. I also happen to be in the movie. Yes, it is my movie. I've been telling you about this for a month now. Go. It comes out in this Friday, October 25th, in theaters. That's right. You're looking at three motherfuckers that are in a real movie. You pieces of shit. Show some respect. You too, Elders. This is the first time you've had three serious actors on this podcast.

[Wes Haney]

I'm humbled to the highest degree right now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we fucking made a movie. We hope you go out and see it. And look, it's in at least two theaters, so we can say. In theaters. Yeah, okay. It's all it takes. Two theaters. It's in theaters. We've already done a couple premieres. It's been an. Already, as we speak, it's been in three theaters, soon to be four, so.

[Daniel Simonson]

I didn't even know about that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, Daniel. We keep in the dark. Daniel's. Look, we. So we. We, me and Wes, we wrote it with our buddy Ben Kitten, who directed it. You know, we were. I'm sort of like the kind of like the James Dean movie star of it, you know, the sexy young protagonist. Wes is the haggard old. He's the haggard old villain who I have to defeat. Daniel is a nice little foreign piece of ass we brought in so people have something to look at. Ain't that right, Daniel?

[Daniel Simonson]

Oh, yeah. My ass was the most important.

[Stavros Halkias]

But, yeah, we want to make sure you go see the movie. And, yeah, it was fun. It's kind of wild that we're. That. That something we made is in theaters, but we'll take it, baby. It's pretty sick, man. You ever been. Have you ever been. Have you ever seen yourself projected on. What's the biggest screen you've seen yourself projected on up until now, until this movie?

[Daniel Simonson]

I think it's my television.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nice. Television is good, though. Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

Watch myself. But that's very rarely, though.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

You kind of try to avoid it.

[Stavros Halkias]

You don't like to look at yourself on tv?

[Daniel Simonson]

Not too much, no. I think also the bigger it is as a lot to digest.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think. I guess my friend had a show or maybe I did, like, the 48 Hour Film Festival, and they put that on a movie theater. So, like, I'm just talking about for, you know, tricking your mind. Me and actually Ellis, Remember, we. We did the 48 Hour Film Festival.

[Wes Haney]

Yeah. Crowd.

[Stavros Halkias]

Crowd, Destroyer of Worlds. Yeah. Elders was the eldest. Was Crowd.

[Wes Haney]

That was my breakout role. We kind of the star.

[Stavros Halkias]

You actually were the star. You were the young James Dean, and I was the evil villain.

[Wes Haney]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn. We should find that and put it on.

[Wes Haney]

We got to redevelop.

[Stavros Halkias]

We should put it on The Stavis World YouTube channel. Yeah, that would go. That would go nuts, dude. Yeah. But, yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited to see myself big, you know?

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah. I haven't seen myself big.

[Stavros Halkias]

No. Never ever? Not even for some bullshit thing somebody rented out at the theater or something? No, not even that.

[Eldis Sula]

Not even that. Damn. I made a little screening here and there, but nothing like no sort of big screen.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Maybe on a wall.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe on a wall. Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

No, you need 10ft, max.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, 10. Nah, not good enough. Now we're about to be big. And by the way, go see this and we will go. If you do the popcorn trick at our movie where you put your dick through the popcorn and get jerked off. Send us the glory hole popcorn bucket. No jizz. Send it to us. Send it to Elder Sula. Care of Elder Sula will put. We'll flash his address here on the screen right now. And you are entered for. What's the prize? What do you think the prize is for doing the popcorn trick at our movie theater. At our movie. What do you think they should get? Maybe, like, $35?

[Wes Haney]

A burned DVD copy of the film.

[Eldis Sula]

A bootleg copy.

[Stavros Halkias]

You get a bootleg copy? Yeah, that Eldest filmed at the premiere.

[Eldis Sula]

There's a bathroom break in it.

[Stavros Halkias]

You get to hear Eldest's stream as he pisses.

[Wes Haney]

You hear me on the camera, like, just breathing of the camcorder.

[Stavros Halkias]

I loved bootlegs, man.

[Eldis Sula]

Here comes the piss. All right. It happened again.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn. I. I used to love bootlegs. That was a. We grew up in a nice era. Did you ever have. You. You. You must have had some bootleg, because in Greece, they loved bootlegs. Yeah. Did they have them? You grew up in Norway, where.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah, Norway was a thing there.

[Stavros Halkias]

You guys love following rules, that's why. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

That would be quite a break.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Greek people hate rules, bro. They don't pay taxes. They don't do. Yeah, dude. It would be like. You would just go. And people would be like, you want to Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. And they would just have, like, Mission Impossible for you. Like, burned. Like, I never. And we would, like, go DVD shopping for bootlegs in Greece and bring back bootlegs to America to watch.

[Daniel Simonson]

But when I was in South America, they had it a lot. They would even have movies that were not out yet, like the Hobbit still making.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They. They show you dailies of the Hobbit. They showed you with a green screen. They would show you Captain America, it's all green, and the guy in front of it. That's fucking hilarious. Were you a big bootleg guy, Wes?

[Eldis Sula]

I wasn't because I lived like I grew up out in the country, so we didn't. They didn't make it that far.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Not even a Gas stations or anything like that?

[Eldis Sula]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. Yeah. Baltimore. Both Baltimore and Greece. Big bootleg places. I'm sure we love the bootleg Elvis. I know your ass had bootlegs.

[Wes Haney]

Honestly, no.

[Stavros Halkias]

What?

[Wes Haney]

I never did like a bootleg dvd, like, you know, real shitty kind that they like. Yeah. Film it in the theater.

[Stavros Halkias]

You stole cable though, didn't you?

[Wes Haney]

No. You keep saying that. I never did.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, right. Don't listen to him, man. He stole it.

[Daniel Simonson]

How can you do that, by the way? Steal it?

[Stavros Halkias]

You just have a guy come in and I don't even exactly know.

[Wes Haney]

Used to be big in the 90s. They probably like split wires. Like actual cables weren't like put it to your house or some.

[Daniel Simonson]

Oh, wow.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. You pay a guy one fee, one time. You pay one guy 400 bucks, get cable for free until someone's wise to it. But I still. I think you stole it. How would you know? What your parent. I guess you probably. You probably wouldn't know because they didn't speak English, but.

[Wes Haney]

Yeah, I don't even know how like how they would do it.

[Stavros Halkias]

An Albanian guys split the wire. That's how they did it. What do you mean how would they do it?

[Wes Haney]

Oh, man.

[Stavros Halkias]

D. Do they have any Albanian stereotypes in Norway?

[Daniel Simonson]

I haven't heard those. It's actually a country I never heard mentioned.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're not. Oh, really? You hear that, elders? They don't even think about you. Motherfuckers. Damn, that's a shame. We gotta ask everybody. What about in Indiana, Wes? Or did you grow up in Illinois?

[Eldis Sula]

I grew up in Indiana.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah, there were definitely people who did it. It didn't happen in my family. We weren't smart enough, that's for sure. Too, too dumb. Too afraid.

[Stavros Halkias]

Too dumb. Too oof. Dumb and scary lethal combo. Yeah. Dumb coward. You don't want that. You at least want a confident coward that might accidentally succeed. Yeah. An afraid coward has a 10% chance of anything good happening. Yeah. A coward that's like, you know, a coward that believes in himself even though he shouldn't.

[Eldis Sula]

Or.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm sorry. No, no. A dumb guy who believes himself even though he shouldn't. That guy's got actually probably like I would say 70%. Yeah. He's going to be successful in life.

[Eldis Sula]

He's got good odds for sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Damn. What about Albanians? You know any of them? Wes?

[Eldis Sula]

No.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

I mean, I didn't even know any Greeks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow. Oh, great. How about Greeks in Norway? You guys knew Greec actually lived.

[Daniel Simonson]

So I studied in Paris and I lived in a Greek house.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really?

[Daniel Simonson]

With like, I think it was 80 Greek people.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm sorry, 80? Yeah. What the are you talking about? You were in a Parisian Greek house with 80. So it's like a. Oh, you mean like an apartment building?

[Daniel Simonson]

So it's like a student city, had its own house.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow. And then they had segregation. They had ethnic segregation.

[Daniel Simonson]

I like to keep it separate. But they would send, like, from each house, different countries. So I came from the Norwegian house to live at the Greek house.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, so it was an exchange. It was like an exchange within an exchange program. Yeah. Interesting. So you were the Norwegian guy. You're the Norwegian delegate to the Greek house in Paris.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

How did you find your experience with the Greek? With 80 Greeks?

[Daniel Simonson]

I mean, they're so different to Norwegians.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

I remember I would come home and they would have like a circle and they had a little guitar and they were completely sober too.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, wow.

[Daniel Simonson]

And then they were singing songs.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

While they looked each other in the eyes. That's how they would have fun, dude.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. And there would be like one guy in the middle, like, doing his own solo dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

Was really strange. Whenever I saw that, I would just kind of tiptoe away.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, dude. They would have tried to get you in the center to dance for sure. That would have been a big. The sober thing does surprise me though, because everything you're saying makes sense to me.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they would love to. To. To shred on the boo. This is a. What you heard was a bouzouki. That was the little guitar. And it is. There is something cool about that. Cuz it's just like a party will break out literally wherever.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it's like you just need. And they literally just clap. The guy in the center. The guy in the center does like a. He just kind of moves his arms around and sometimes he kicks his feet up. It's fucking sick. Yeah, I'm trying to get there, dude. I'm trying to like, traditionally you perform that dance at your wedding. It's kind of like a peacocking. It's kind of like a. It's like the manliest dance there is. It's like fucking you. You fucking dance that when you get married. And then again you probably. When you get divorced. You know what I mean? That's. It's called the Zbekiko. That's so funny.

[Daniel Simonson]

But it seemed the less alcohol, the better. Like, that was almost like a great thing if it was booze free.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they didn't get rowdy. Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

But they started breaking it more if it's sober. I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Really.

[Daniel Simonson]

It's strange.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sounds like you had 80 nerds in your. This does not everything you're saying, except they're enjoying it more when they're sober. Doesn't make sense to me. Was it a mixed home? Was it like guys and girls? Or was it like. Yeah, so it was a party. A sober party. Yeah. These sober Greek people just doing it for the dance.

[Eldis Sula]

What ages?

[Daniel Simonson]

Oh, all types. There weren't only students living there. They were like, this is fascinating. I have no clue who a lot of people were.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. And. And you were the only non Greek. Or were there like a handful of other students from other countries in that. And they.

[Daniel Simonson]

There were like a few different, but mostly Greeks. But I remember, like, sometimes we would have like a. A gathering or whatever and you would just look to the side and just see five Greeks staring at you from afar. They really look at you for a bit too long.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. No, I get. There is like a weird. Yeah, I. I know exactly what you mean. Where there's like, they're not self. They're not self conscious. Like, Greeks from Greece have kind of like the. The dumb guy we were just talking about. There's like a. There's like a neurose. Like, it's funny being in America and going back. I'm like, oh, we're America's neurotic. Like, I'm in my head. I bet you if I was in Greece, I would just be some fat dumb guy having a great time. I mean, you could argue I'm that now, but it would be like. But it would just be like I'm. I am self conscious. And it's like. They'll just be like, what's going on, man? What are you. What are you doing here? Or they'll be like, they would. And then they might even like. It's like a little aggro, but not a little. Little alpha. They're trying to like, alpha you a little bit. And it is kind of like. I don't know. They're kind of like wild animals, to be honest with you. Like, my cousin is just. He's just. His life is so simple. Goes to work, tries to get. Eats. Eats a gyro day, starts all over again, you know? What? I mean, there's not much else. There's not much other than that.

[Daniel Simonson]

But they're really good people though. I did like them.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, they're great at hanging out. Greek people love chilling and like it's warm. They. They're probably welcoming, you know what I mean?

[Daniel Simonson]

Very welcome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

Like they're very accepting of no matter how you are, you're like, oh yeah, you're one of the guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. And they'll on you, they'll make fun of you, but you're one of the guys, you know, like that's. That is awesome. And this was what, college or what you were in college or.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah, in Paris and Yeah, we had parties there every now and then. And then Norwegians would come over there to party.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. What's in the gimmick? You guys just get up and that's it. There's no song or dance.

[Daniel Simonson]

There's just to be able to exist. But it's like I remember there were these Norwegian guys there, like rolling on the ground.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

On the floor. And they were pretty shocked, the Greeks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

I think they felt we were ruining the party.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. Because Greek people will get fucked up. But it's. It is a slow build. I will say that. It's like a glass of wine with dinner and then it's like we're drinking for eight hours while the music's going. Like it is a very again, it's a hang oriented culture where it's like, don't fuck it. Like shots are like a wild mood. Like they will do it, but it's only after it's built. And it's like, all right, this is one of those nights, let's get. Now it's time to get fucked up. But it's not like even American college culture where it's like time to pregame where you have to be so drunk before leaving your home, where. Yeah, that's interesting because I guess Norwegians are just the date. The party starts by getting arrived drunk.

[Daniel Simonson]

Because you've been pre gaming, right. So you're already pretty wasted when you get there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

And then you keep, you know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Pretty well in Norway.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

I'm so shy growing up, like would not make eye contact with people.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's.

[Eldis Sula]

And definitely had to like, had to get lubed up.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

[Eldis Sula]

In order to do anything.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, man, I mean, I get it. I remember doing that being like 15 and being so scared to talk to a girl that you're like, ah, Time to guzzle vodka so that maybe I'll say hello to. To, you know, just a girl that's been like batting her eyelashes at me. I did one time I got drunk as hell and made out with a girl at the Greek festival. Still one of the. Still one of the best memories of my childhood.

[Eldis Sula]

That's great.

[Stavros Halkias]

How old were you? Fifteen. You know, counts. It was the. And it was like. And then I would. That was maybe the closest I got to getting sucked off for another five years. Like, it was like I had a nice little run that year where I. I saw three pairs of tits and then God turned the titty spigot off. He was like, all right, that's enough now be a fucking loser and hang out with eldest for five years. Get. Fuck. Go to a diner with eldest after. After getting way too drunk at a party. Now that's what you're going to do until you're. You get to see a titio. I guess I saw tits again. Let's see here. Let me think about this, boys. Give me a second. I guess. I guess I saw some tits at 18. I guess I saw some 2000 pizza. 18. And then. But I didn't for those five years after. So. Ah, it was a harrowing time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was. When's. When did you see your first titty in person?

[Eldis Sula]

Wes, I think I talked about this last.

[Stavros Halkias]

You did. You did, Yes. I remember this.

[Eldis Sula]

It was everything at once.

[Stavros Halkias]

I remember this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Not so much as a kiss. And then it was just same night.

[Stavros Halkias]

No kiss, all out of the way. That's a while. I remember this. Yeah, I remember this. That is fucking hilarious. Salute to that.

[Eldis Sula]

Great night.

[Stavros Halkias]

Great night. Yeah. But okay, second. So we covered your first. The last time you were here. Second time you saw tits.

[Eldis Sula]

It was probably, you know, I think it was like maybe a year and a half later.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Eldis Sula]

So kind of a drought.

[Stavros Halkias]

Another drought.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah. That was pretty rough.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

And I also got braces during that time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Ooh.

[Eldis Sula]

So that, you know, that's tough.

[Stavros Halkias]

And how old. How old were you got braces?

[Eldis Sula]

I was. I had just turned 19.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, my God, dude. That's fucking brutal. That's fucking brutal. College braces. Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Because I had like, just. It took me that long to get enough confidence to be like, I think I would like to do something entertainment related right. In my life.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Eldis Sula]

I should probably fix my up teeth.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. Gotta do it, gotta do it.

[Eldis Sula]

19. I don't want to do it. This is gonna suck. Let's get it out of the way. Luckily, it was only for a year.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

What style of like the classic brace? Classic. Just metal mouth. Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

I didn't have any colored rubber bands.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay. Yeah, that's good.

[Eldis Sula]

Classic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Kept it classic.

[Eldis Sula]

Gray, silver.

[Stavros Halkias]

Did you do this? They did a lot of moisture, you know. Hey, guys, it's me, West.

[Eldis Sula]

There's probably some of that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can I see some pussy?

[Eldis Sula]

I've got like big teeth too, so it wasn't that bad because the, you know, the surface area of the brace on the.

[Stavros Halkias]

Of course, of course there's clearance there. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

I didn't make too much noise.

[Stavros Halkias]

That is funny to be like, all right. I have to get to think like that. I never considered my teeth for one second. Like, even though I wanted to do comedy, I was like, wow, who cares? I'm. I'm fucked up looking, like, who gives a fuck? And then when I got my teeth, when I. This tooth came in, they're like, you want us to fix the gap? I was like, no, I like the gap. The gap. I like having. I like having fucked up teeth a little bit. So were you. Were your parents just like. The dentist was never in play growing up?

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah, it was kind of like a lot of things, like, you don't really need it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

So I always had like the lowest, like, version of whatever it was.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Like. Yeah, I love an example. If an example came to my head right now, sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

That'd be awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll just have to do with you saying it, believe me.

[Eldis Sula]

Take my word for it. It'll come to me in a few minutes when we're on another topic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. Now, Wes and Daniel, I don't know if you know this about me. I'm a deal hunter, baby. I love a good deal as much as the next guy, but I need that shit to be easy because I'm also a real lazy piece of shit. That's where Mint Mobile comes in. Tired. We were using on our business line. An old provider didn't like it. Subpar service. Mint Mobile comes in. It's so easy to get started with Mint Mobile. You switch over just like that. Eldis, you experienced it. You worked the phones on this?

[Wes Haney]

I did. I set this thing up in like 10 minutes, like max. It was super easy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Incredible. And it's a bargain too. Three month plans are only $15 a month. We're talking high speed data, unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can always use your own phone with Any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. Find out how easy it is to switch to Mint mobile and get three months premium wireless service for 15 bucks a month. To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com stav that's mint mobile.com Davi cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month. A mint [e-mail] Stavi $45 upfront payment required. Equivalent to 15amonth. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on a limited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. Siemens Mobile for details. Well, I just, I do love the. Because we had so much in the movie. We do. We deal with like a. One of the characters is kind of a like a out there mom. And I do love that we drew a lot of inspiration from your actual life and your actual mom. Yeah. Where we put a joke in there. We might as well do. We. We didn't tell that part on the last one, did we?

[Eldis Sula]

I don't think so.

[Stavros Halkias]

Because last time we talked about your, you know, we talked about stepdads and all that kind of. Which by the way, go see Wes and Nick nanny. We had a great episode on the Patreon. You're gonna have to pay up on for that one, folks. But we didn't talk about your. We didn't talk about that at all. Where it's like, because your parents split up. How old were you?

[Eldis Sula]

I was like two.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

So I have no memory.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

But yeah, like my mom was. She was married a lot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

At 8 she found my stepdad and they've been together since.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's nice.

[Eldis Sula]

There were some dicey years coming and going.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

I remember she had a boyfriend named Kevin who I met once.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hell yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Who gave me. Upon meeting me. He gave me and my brother RBI baseball for the original Nintendo.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Love Kevin.

[Stavros Halkias]

Kevin was good. And again, that's a big lesson for all of you trying to fuck single moms. Get their kids a present a little better than they deserve and you could do whatever you want to their mother after that. They are good. They're going to be playing RBI baseball. You got her in the Cobra clutch over there just feet away. And they wouldn't be the wiser.

[Eldis Sula]

Never saw Kevin again. But here I am talking about him.

[Stavros Halkias]

More positive, more positive memories per interaction than any of your stepfathers. Because it was just, hey, here's the RBI baseball. Me and moms are going to be gone for a couple hours. Boys, get in there with Ken Griffey.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah, that's why I was thinking about the other day, the movie. Boyhood is my favorite movie because I think no other movie has gotten the stepdad quite right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's, that's the movie that does it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

There's a guy who's like dating the mom early on and he comes to like take her on a date and she's like, I forgot I got two kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on. Yeah, I'm supposed to meet my friends.

[Eldis Sula]

At the bowling alley. No, it's okay. I'll hang out here with you. It's perfect. And then, and they're like the main stepdad later in it, it was just like slowly becoming more and more alcoholic.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

He has this big flip out scene where he tries to like he's drunk at dinner and tries to flip a dish, but he misses it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes, yes. If you haven't seen Boyhood, go check out Boyhood, folks. Watch our movie and then watch Boyhood right after. Yeah, yeah, there is something because. Because the stepdad who tries to be abusive but can't pull it off is one of the funniest guys in the world. Because it's, it's both funny in the sense of the guy's pathetic, but it's also such a relief because so many stepdads are such pieces of shit that, that actually like will hit a kid. That one guy who's just like a timid, like a pussy that wishes he could hit a child but like can't pull it off. That's a fucking hilarious guy, man. That's a fucking real pussy. God, thank God, thank God I didn't. I mean, I always was like, damn, I kind of wish my parents had gotten divorced because I think, I just think about the positive possible stepdads, you know, I think about like a nice, supportive, big fat stepdad, you know, like an American stepdad. I always thought that'd be nice. Some guy who can fucking watch baseball whittles, you know what I mean? Gives me a nice hug, is supportive.

[Eldis Sula]

But they're out there.

[Stavros Halkias]

They're out there. But most of the time that's not who you get. You don't get it. You don't get a good one. You didn't. Were your parents divorced yet? No, we just even have the concept of step parents.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah, I mean, my mom had like boyfriends, but I do remember there was a lot of bribery involved.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes, yes. They give you smoked reindeer meat, dude.

[Daniel Simonson]

Here is 20 bucks.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's classic. And again, pretty direct.

[Daniel Simonson]

Second, comfortable. But I did like it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

Free money is always threat. But it must be hard for them, too, you know, to try to win the kid over.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes. Yeah. Because you never know how hard to go. And you're like, I don't want to. I don't want this kid to think I love him yet, if ever.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

But I do want him to get off my back so I can. His mom. I think that's really how most of them approach it. I think it starts with what's the lowest I get. What's the. What's the lowest gift I can get to just get three hours of this kid off my back? And then. Unless you're a good guy, in which case it's like, it does. It has to be an interesting thing of, like. Yeah, I want to be nice to them, but I also. I feel like once you meet a kid.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's got to be kind of serious. You'd hope. Otherwise, it's like, you know, Kevin territory. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your mom's treating. Fuck it, you guys like you're her roommates. Like, yeah, Kevin's gonna be on the cab. Like, hell, yeah. That's Wes. He's cool. Just, you know, just, you know, just go right on by him. He'll be watching tv.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah. It should be serious, though, if you are meeting the kids.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Absolutely. I can see myself getting into a stepdad zone. Yeah, that'd be kind of nice. I have no problem. I have no problem. You know, ladies got a kid. I'll date her. And I also think it would be nice to just not worry about changing diapers. Just pop in, boom. Kid right there. Hopefully his dad's in jail or dead or something. He automatically respects me more. Dead would actually be kind of the best one. I guess you have to worry about him coming back and shiving you or whatever. Or kind of pathetic. And around would actually be funny, too. Kind of like a Gil type Gil from the Simpsons guy. That would be. That would be a fun stepdad to have around, but. But yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Nice kid, too.

[Stavros Halkias]

You get a nice kid. I guess that. I guess I'm open to the possibility that the kid is a good. A good kid.

[Eldis Sula]

They could surprise you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Damn.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, this is fun, kids.

[Eldis Sula]

All right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, this kid's not bad. I mean, he's half of that fucking idiot Gil guy, but, yeah, dude, I don't know. We'll see. But I'M gonna. I'm starting with the uncle mode, of course. I think there might be some kids on the way in the family, hopefully. So, you know, we. I'm ready to, you know, buy some, work my way up as an uncle to train myself for stepdad. That's kind of like the dirtbag 35 year old gauntlet. When you. When you're single this long and it's like, yeah, that'd be nice. That'd be fucking nice. Do you remember any other bribes you got? Was it just cash?

[Daniel Simonson]

I got a really sick T shirt.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nice.

[Daniel Simonson]

That I got a lot of props for.

[Stavros Halkias]

What was it?

[Daniel Simonson]

It was like a skateboarding brandy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure. Yeah. Yeah, they had. So you were. You. Did they skate? You were your motherfucker. Skating was like, what was like youth culture, like when you were growing up.

[Daniel Simonson]

Very inspired by like the United States.

[Stavros Halkias]

I gotcha.

[Daniel Simonson]

But we did skateboard. It was like, the concrete was so rough and it was always like rainy or even snow, you know, so it wasn't like ideal for it, but it was like a big skateboard.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really? It was a big culture.

[Daniel Simonson]

I was just skaters. I was very frightened, so I didn't get a lot of respect.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, you couldn't do any tricks so they didn't fuck with you.

[Daniel Simonson]

Dude, I could, but it took me like years longer to dare to even try it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

See, I just. I went rollerblades. All my friends were skateboarding.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. You were the one rollerblader in the crew.

[Eldis Sula]

Speaking of no respect.

[Stavros Halkias]

I mean. Yeah, that was crazy.

[Eldis Sula]

But they had grind plates.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

And I was not good at that. But that. That's worse when you try to grind with roller blades and your feet just like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Oh, dude. Man. Yeah. I mean, I. I was always scared of skating completely. I was fat, obviously. And it just felt like, I don't know, a fat skateboarder feels like you're tempting God there. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like every good skater is like skinny and elders. You never had like a. Do you have a board or anything like that?

[Wes Haney]

I had a board. I was like trying to with it in like fifth and sixth grade. But I was a straight poser on this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Wes Haney]

I like managed to kind of do an ollie like in the grass and like right when six grade started. But then literally, like the second time, the second time I did it in the grass, like, the board snapped.

[Stavros Halkias]

City Kmart board.

[Wes Haney]

Now it's like, I don't think I'm investing in the new one. It like snapped under my weight.

[Stavros Halkias]

In the grass.

[Wes Haney]

Yeah, that kind of sucks. But I was like, this is probably for the best. Honestly, I don't see a future in this for myself.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're also one of the least, like, physically gifted people I've ever met in my life. One of the least coordinated people. The fact that of all the sports, you went skating, tried skating, is so funny.

[Wes Haney]

No, totally. I would have fucked myself. I like, fucked my forearm once. Like in middle school, like, trying to play with a hacky sack in the living room. I just. I just reached my foot for it wrong and lost my balance and like, straight the fuck out of my forearm.

[Stavros Halkias]

In your home playing hacky sack.

[Wes Haney]

Like, I fell on the carpet and fucked my set up.

[Stavros Halkias]

God, I wish I had a video of that. I would watch that non stop. Oh, that's so fun. Yeah, I was way more of a. I was way more of a. Just. I played, you know, soccer and then I played like, rec basketball. And then I. I fancied myself a jock. Even though, you know, I was a. In my heart, I was a theater kid. But I couldn't admit that because I was like, no, I'm cool and straight. I don't fucking do. I don't. I quit. Like, you're a good man, Charlie Brown. In sixth grade. To play. To play, like, basketball. Basketball and lacrosse. And that was like. I was like, yeah, now is when I start being a cool guy that gets pussy. And then, of course, it didn't happen. I was just. I just, you know, played sports and whatever.

[Eldis Sula]

Like rec league basketball. But then I was in, like, an alt sports kid, so I played like I was Hacky sack and like, ultimate Frisbee disc golf.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

And then in college, my freshman year of college, I, like, joined the ultimate Frisbee team. Oh, my first.

[Stavros Halkias]

With braces.

[Eldis Sula]

With braces, long hair.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Eldis Sula]

And then I got into this improv group.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, three for three colleges. Go ahead, go ahead, find out.

[Eldis Sula]

The rehearsals were on the same night.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, no.

[Eldis Sula]

Ultimate Frisbee crack practice. So that was it.

[Stavros Halkias]

That was it.

[Eldis Sula]

Yep.

[Stavros Halkias]

Rip your ultimate Frisbee career.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Hello, improv.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hello, improv. Time to grow up and do something respectable. What is the. Like, I really. I'm realizing, talking to you, Daniel, that I have no concept for what, like, Norwegian, like, culture is at, like. I know the, like, I know the like, you know, you. I just. You think of just Scandinavia in general. I think of it anyways, like, almost like one place, you know what I mean? Like, where it's like, you know, northern lights, reindeer, Meat like, you know. Well, that's pretty much it.

[Daniel Simonson]

Same thing, though.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is.

[Daniel Simonson]

We can even speak our own languages to each other.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really? There's. It's like they're almost dialects of the same thing, sort of.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah. And I think similar kind of types of personalities.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. I mean, it's fucking cold as shit. It's like, like, how, how. How long are the year? Or is there even a summer or how long is it?

[Daniel Simonson]

It is a summer, but it might be horrific. It's really, like, not guaranteed it will be good.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

My mom is always calling me kind of bitching about the summer there. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Are you saying it's like, too hot or too cold still?

[Daniel Simonson]

It could, like, rain the whole time.

[Stavros Halkias]

I see.

[Daniel Simonson]

Be like one week where it's kind of nice.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

But when it's good weather, though, the whole city changes and everybody's outside and it's pretty nice, actually.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

But the winters. I remember being lots of snow, but now when I go back, that's almost gone.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think a little global warming.

[Daniel Simonson]

I think that's it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

It's around Christmas when I'm there. It used to be like all powder.

[Stavros Halkias]

Damn. You know, it's like slush.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

What's the point of being from Norway if you can't get a snowy ass Christmas? That does suck. God damn. And is that where everybody. Because it's always like, you think of, like, you know, everybody's six two and blonde as hell. Is that it? Or are you an outlier? Or do we just have that wrong as well? You remember how you were in the Greek House and you were the. The representative for Norway? That's actually what you're doing on this podcast too. You're back. You're back to being the representative for all Norwegians right now. You're. You're answering all our questions.

[Daniel Simonson]

Well, they're usually a bit blonder than me, so I'm half South American.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay.

[Daniel Simonson]

I'm not fully in Norwegian.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Is that why you were in South America, you were saying? Yeah, that's where. That's where you're getting the bootleg DVDs, visiting your dad's side of the family.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah, I was there by myself backpacking. But yeah, I think you have really blonde, almost like cheese.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

A lot of my friends had that type of hair.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

But when I was in South America, they called me Blondie. Norway, I was kind of darker.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, a man between two. Two countries. Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

They call me Russian a lot There.

[Stavros Halkias]

Russian.

[Daniel Simonson]

Russia.

[Stavros Halkias]

Russio.

[Daniel Simonson]

I would hear it on the street.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Wow.

[Daniel Simonson]

A Flacco. That's the skinny, skinny guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Skinny Russio, Flacco. Russia.

[Daniel Simonson]

But yeah, Norway is some. Do you know who Holland is? Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, yes, yes. That's. He's from Norway.

[Daniel Simonson]

Looks as Viking as you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

This is the proper version.

[Stavros Halkias]

I didn't realize he was from Norway. He is, yes. Cool. That's a cool guy to have. He's awesome.

[Daniel Simonson]

Oh yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

That guy's good as.

[Daniel Simonson]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And is. Is that so it's like. It's big sock everybody. Did you play soccer?

[Daniel Simonson]

I did, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. What position?

[Daniel Simonson]

A little bit better there. But when I was actually a kid, I was kind of chubby, so I was very slow. I was good, like technical. But I had to dribble people twice. Yeah, yeah, because they would like catch up.

[Stavros Halkias]

You'd have to beat them.

[Daniel Simonson]

But I love soccer. I watch it all the time.

[Stavros Halkias]

Who do you root for? What's the club?

[Daniel Simonson]

United. Manchester.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, nice. Do you spend time there too? I feel like you've lived everywhere I.

[Daniel Simonson]

Lived in the uk. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

So I did go to Old Trafford once.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, nice.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

I went to London for the first time this summer. You've been. You've been to London, Wes? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, you do. Is your fit. I mean, you obviously look hilariously Irish. Is that what's going on with the.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah, my. Irish, Irish, English, German.

[Stavros Halkias]

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, it's fucking nut. It's like, I love the uk, dude. It's so frustrating to go so. Cuz I love New York. This place rocks. But it does suck when you go somewhere, you're like, ah, ah, the city's better. Like they're running. This is cleaner. The public transportation actually is like on time and nice to use the. It's also old as like London. You go and there's a building that people been using since like the 1100s that's still like in use. And you're like, this is the public part. I mean the. You know, I was about. I was ready to be like, ah, the monarchy can suck my dick. Their palace. And then you go, and it's beautiful and they have like insane public gardens and like flower, like bright flowers of every kind. And you're like, damn, they're fucking stunting on us, man.

[Eldis Sula]

I felt that way about Amsterdam last year.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

The canals everywhere. Like, no matter where you live in Amsterdam, you're like looking at a Canal.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's beautiful. The bike. Everybody's riding bikes. You ever fucking live there, motherfucker?

[Daniel Simonson]

No, but I did back. Back there, and I rode a bike pretty drunk, actually.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

In the morning, through the city.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

That's a cool place.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's.

[Daniel Simonson]

To see it, though. I was just there for two days.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, really? That's a place where I would. Yeah, because, you know, I would imagine that's a great. It seems to be a great place to do comedy in Europe. Yeah, I. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I was supposed to European tour last year. I think I'm gonna go. This. I mean, I guess, coming up.

[Daniel Simonson]

Go to Norway.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah, I want to go to Norway too. For sure. I definitely want to go. I've never been there. I want to go check it out. But Amsterdam is very cool, too. I remember being, like, pumped for the red light district. Being like, well, I'm not gonna go because it's. You know, I'm not. But I'm gonna go see in the back of the head being like, well, I'm not getting a donut. I'm just gonna go to the bakery and smell. You know what I mean? And then I got there and it was, like, so crowded and disgusting. It's like. You know how you're like, this water park feels gross to be in. But instead of a water park, because there's too many guys here, imagine if it's a lady's pussy. That's kind of how I felt where it was like, there were just guys in line, like, look, like, closer than we are, like. But for me and Daniel, there were, like, seven guys, nut to butt, just arms crossed, waiting to the same woman. And I'm like, this is cool to you guys. I'm not. I'm no prude here, but it's like, this is just gross. This is like. It's. You know, I'll pay for. I have no qualms about that. But this is just not.

[Eldis Sula]

It was shocking.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

I walked. My wife and I walked around there, and it was like, holy. This is what it is. Oh, my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's like in Times Square, but everybody's just go, paying to a lady.

[Wes Haney]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And they're all just, like, smoking and like. Like, they have the face of someone who's like five hours into their shift. It's like. It's like, damn, sorry, this sucks. But I guess that, you know, they probably make good money, but. Yeah, I don't know. It was wild, I guess. You didn't check out the red light district, huh, Daniel?

[Daniel Simonson]

No, I saw it in Belgium.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

With some friends. It was weird.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. It's funny.

[Wes Haney]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

I didn't. I mean, it's like women on display in windows.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah. It's pretty strange.

[Stavros Halkias]

It is very strange.

[Daniel Simonson]

I didn't even really look. I. I felt that would be rude.

[Stavros Halkias]

You are.

[Daniel Simonson]

I guess that's the point.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, no, they know. Yeah, listen, you know, they're trying to get. It's an advertisement. It would be rude because you're looking with. No, no. Like. Yes, yes, yes. It's like getting too many free samples at Costco. Yeah. It's like going to the mall and just keep getting their weird little orange chicken. And they're like, all right, man, you've gotten three little orange chickens. Either buy something or get the out. That's how you know. But Belgium, huh? Interesting. A more chill red light district sounds pretty cool to me. Ah, you know what I love? A nice night out on the town, whether it's sports, a show, a concert, whatever it is. I like lowest prices, good deals, and who does that better than anybody? Our friends at the freaking Game Time app. I love. I love this look. I'm even on here. All this. Yeah. You can give tickets to see me at the Lyric. Going some good bargains up here. Actually. I'm kind of how they get such a good bargain. It's all fun and games until it might be coming out of my pocket, now that I think about it. But that's how good these bargains are, folks, that the actual artist is actually a little worried about how cheap they are. But my loss is your gain with the Game Time app. And that goes for everything else. What else we got here? We got, obviously, we got Ravens games. We got monster truck rallies. We have Gary Owen, famous white guy that is a big fan of black culture. If you like some. Some of that style of comedy, whatever you want, Game Time's got it. I love to use the Game Time app. I've used it to buy Orioles tickets in the past. I've had a great time with it. I like all their features. I like to see the view that I'm looking at before I buy it. Whatever it is, it's one of the best. It's the best way to get tickets to a concert, a show, a sporting event, whatever you want. So take the guesswork out of buying concert tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code STAVI S T A VVY for 20 bucks off your first purchase. Terms apply again. Create an account and redeem code stavi s t a vvy for 20 bucks off download game time today. Last minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed. Oh, fuck yeah, I do. I've never. I do want to go to watch more of Europe because I would just. I have just seen Greece pretty much and I went to Paris, I went to Amsterdam, but it's, you know, I want to go to Spain. It just like. I don't know, Europe is not like what. What are your thoughts of just like being here? Like the quality of life. What's. What are your like observations? Because it seems like you've gone to many different. You've lived in part. Different parts of the world. What do you give me? Give us just a little. You know, I have my opinions, but I love to hear what you're. What you're thinking.

[Daniel Simonson]

Like America. I really like the people, but it's the hardest place I lived where I feel I could end up so bad.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, they don't give a about you over here, man.

[Daniel Simonson]

Your money somehow or you have to pay for everything, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

I think Europe kind of blend together a bit. But then when you go to like Spain or I've been to Greece too, then it feels different for sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Greece definitely feels different. It's also like. It's not. I feel like there's a part of Europe that's sort of almost like France through like, I don't know, Germany or whatever or like I guess past. Whatever's past that. I'm dumb as I don't know geography, but it's like just kind of Central Europe where it's like. It's all connected by train and it's like you could get, you know, all that backpacking all. It's like, like it's such a small place compared to America, like where it's like the equivalent of driving across a couple states but it's so densely populated that it feels like you're seeing so many different cultures. All that shit does blend together because it does make sense that the EU is one place. It feels so much like America with different states, except obviously. And it is fascinating to see you are this close and it's a completely different language and culture. That's crazy because you come here and it's like Indiana. You drive and it's like nothing forever. And it's like there, it's so cool and packed together.

[Eldis Sula]

And Indiana, like it's exactly the same as like an hour outside of New York, right? Exactly the same.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Outside of a city.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Strip Malls.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the same. All the same restaurants. All the same. You know, even the. Like. I think David Cross had a joke about this back in the day where he's like, how do. Like, how do hicks in New York have a Southern accent? It's like. It's like, how do all. How does Indiana have a Southern accent?

[Eldis Sula]

It feels like you're in the Deep South. It's crazy. And it's just like. It's four hours south of Chicago.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It's so. It's close.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's weird, dude. Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

I think American stow you were talking about the happy go lucky guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

I think that's how Americans seem to me. Like, you're very good at small talking.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Daniel Simonson]

Hanging out in a bar or whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right. Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

I feel Americans in general are a bit less heady. I always felt very welcome here. It reminds me of Greeks.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Come on through. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

It's definitely different to Europe, for sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, yeah. Did you ever feel. Not. Was there a place you didn't feel welcomed in?

[Daniel Simonson]

Actually, today I really had to pee and I walked into a bar and there was a lady there, just me and her. And I was like, do you mind if I gave you $5 and I used your rest?

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow. You didn't even ask first. You just put money. You were like, look, I'm gonna pay you.

[Daniel Simonson]

She looked very grumpy. Yeah, she agreed to it.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wow.

[Daniel Simonson]

But then I was pretty quick. Then she was kind of cool, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. Like, wow, that's a fast piss. And I got five bucks.

[Daniel Simonson]

This guy's a good deal for her.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's a great deal for her, dude. Are you kidding? I love that. You didn't even bother to ask if you could. You didn't even have. You're like, look, I got the five in my pocket. If she says no, I'll slam the five down. You were just like, this is gonna be a business transaction right away. That's fucking hilarious.

[Daniel Simonson]

When I walked in there, I was like, please don't let it be a woman. That would piss off a girl more.

[Stavros Halkias]

They would what?

[Daniel Simonson]

It would piss off a girl more, right? A guy would be. Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

I feel a girl would be a bit more moody. That's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

She was not impressed.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where was this was in New York.

[Daniel Simonson]

It has to use the restroom, Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

What kind of Got a piss so bad he's willing to give me five bucks for it? Yeah, I'll never. I'll never. This guy. This guy's a beta. This guy's a beta. One of those pissing guys. That's hilarious.

[Daniel Simonson]

But that is us American. It's tough attitude.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

Like, when I ask some questions and customer support, I can feel that they don't want to help me. I don't know how to explain it. It's just that can make me kind of grumpy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, I think, I think you're onto something here because it's a fundamental thing of like, I mean, it's really just capitalist versus, like somebody who's doing their job right, who's just like, you know, I just want to get through my horrific job with as little work as possible. Right? That is America. That's like, I. Whereas like in Europe, it's like, hey, I'm getting paid to do this. I'm taking my base. My base shit is covered. My life's pretty fun and easy. Like, I get to go. I get to go on vacation for four weeks. It's like, maybe I actually will do my job when I'm doing it. I'll do it now. I get a lot of vacation time. I'm not there a lot, but when I'm in the office, I'll do it and I'll actually try and help you. Whereas, like, it's rare when you find someone who just kind of does their job here. And I get that. I get it. Right? Like, because life is a nightmare in America, as you said. It's like they don't. None of your basic needs are met. No one cares about you. It doesn't feel like the country cares about you. Like your well being, like where you're saying it's the hardest place to live. And it's like, yeah, customer service person just wants to fucking get you off the phone. And when you get a good one, it almost feels like a miracle. Like, I felt closer to somebody who's like, just been baseline nice to me than I have, like, you know, family members. Because it feels like like a Delta employee that's like, well, I see. I see. You know what? You. Technically we could charge you for this, but you, you make a good point. And I fully have it within my power to make this go away. And I just will. When someone does that, when they act like a human being, you're shocked when they do it here.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah, they usually hate you.

[Stavros Halkias]

Hate you. You pick up the phone and it's like, it's like you have to ask a lady who, like your ex, whose sister you fucked for like, for like a favor. That's what it Feels like when you call fucking. When you're like, hey, can I just get this refund that I'm entitled to? And they're like, ugh, you.

[Daniel Simonson]

But New York too, though, is tougher. Like when I was in Colorado very recently in Vail, they were so friendly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, well, that's almost too much. It's a resort town, though. They're on. They're on vacation. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

But in general, Colorado seemed like a lot warmer. They're almost like, too stoked to see you. So I remember that in the hotel, the lady that was so friendly, she really wanted to talk for a while, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

I felt that was very different to New York.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, that's definitely true. Motherfuckers here are like very. They're about their business. They're fast here. For sure.

[Eldis Sula]

I'm really curious about Daniel's experience when we were filming the movie.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Daniel came out, but because of scheduling.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's right. You were there for so long.

[Eldis Sula]

There for so long.

[Stavros Halkias]

And we.

[Eldis Sula]

It needed him.

[Stavros Halkias]

Where we were was horrible.

[Eldis Sula]

Oh, yeah. Like the strip malls.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were like an hour and a half outside of Chicago.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it was fucking dog shit. And you were. What was the. What was the hotel? It was like a holiday in best.

[Daniel Simonson]

Western for highway surrounding.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Like lane roads in every direction.

[Daniel Simonson]

I tried crossing the road one day and I got halfway to a pavement and it was so many cars. After, like, I think seven minutes, I went back again for 10 days in a hotel and there were nothing around. Two different places to eat.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. It was a Buffalo Wild Wings. And what was the other place?

[Daniel Simonson]

Some kind of Japanese place.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right.

[Daniel Simonson]

It's only me in there too, when I had my dinner there. But I was like, yeah, just for 10 days. It was quite a lot of time to get in your head.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

And think about the film.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right, right.

[Eldis Sula]

We were like. We hit the ground running. Like we were shooting around the clock. Like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, we. Because we were. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Because we really did. We were working like 14 hour days. Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

And then once every couple of days, we'd be like, oh, my God. Daniel's at the hotel.

[Stavros Halkias]

Felt like home alone. We're like, oh, my God. We left Daniel at the hotel all day.

[Daniel Simonson]

Well, we didn't would. Some of them lived where I was at night. They would come and they were like, oh, it was great.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was so much fun. Which is so funny. Like, why didn't they just Let you even just come to set and hang out. I don't get that. I mean, not that you fucking missed anything. They were feeding us dog food, basically. I mean, making a fucking indie movie sucks dick. Like, we love the movie. I'm glad it happened. But you learned so much. Like, we're all comics, we're all comedians who are like, we've just been performing and like, live for our whole careers. And I don't know if you guys were the same way, but I definitely had the thought of like, it's a movie. We're gonna get on set and like, you know, not that this like we're Daniel Day Lewis or anything, but it's like you'll really figure out the scene. And it's like, no, you have. We rented some, some lady's house. We got to be in and out of there before she calls the cops on us. Like, we got a. We rented this super expensive, like, you know, green screen place for one thing. It's got to go, right? Oh, we got to shoot this. Oh, we'll shoot in the parking lot while we wait for. Because we made this movie with. For so little money compared to how. How it looks like we have. Usually when you make a movie that's so. On this, this low budget, you usually keep it to a couple places. But we wrote a lot of different locations. We had a lot of characters. So it was fucking crazy. But. But yeah, you fucking felt that we were working and then the catering was just like hysterically bad.

[Eldis Sula]

It got worse. It was like worse and worse. Just little by little every day until it got to a breaking point. Yeah, we were all openly like, oh my God.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, it's so bad. I'll kill myself if I have to eat this. And then they would just go get like pizza. But still, it would have been nice to have you on set just. Just to have fun, just to be there, just to see what we were doing. I can't believe you were just in a shitty hotel in a strip mall in like, I don't even remember what part of Illinois with truly nothing.

[Daniel Simonson]

I think it was two hour Uber to Chicago and it was like a hundred bucks. So I didn't do that at all. There was a Target down the road. It was very close, but you couldn't get there on foot. I would Uber down there every day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Every day you would go check out the dog, argue.

[Daniel Simonson]

I actually have like hangers and stuff that I bought because I was so bored. I came back with hangers.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's so funny, dude.

[Daniel Simonson]

But yeah, no, that was really cool.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

And. But I noticed that in the movie was so fast because you shut in like 28 days, right, or something?

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, it was I think three weeks. Wow, that's one. It was six day week. One six day week. One five day week and then one six day week. That's right. I think so. Yeah. Fast.

[Daniel Simonson]

So I thought we had like two takes yesterday or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

It was crazy, dude. Yeah, it was nuts. I mean like, truly, you learn that it's just like, it's just gotta get done. Like acting is like not even like. That's. That's why I respect good actors now. I was like, how hard is it? You spend all day to try and get a. But it's like you don't have all day. You have like sometimes two opportunities.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah, we're really like fortunate too that everybody. We wrote the parts for like did the movie.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes, we wrote, we had. We wrote the character like with you in mind. We wrote and we have. The rest of the cast is fucking hilarious, we should say. I mean, Eric and Katie, who fucking. Who are the other members of our cult. They're really funny. Which, you know, we were trying to get them there in la. Hopefully we'll. Me and Elvis will be in LA doing some Stavis World episodes. We'll get them, but they're. They're really fucking funny. And then we just have a bunch of cameos from hilarious people too. But if we didn't have really talented people, we'd be so fucked. We had to like try and explain the joke to people. We felt like everything was in somebody's sensibility. But yeah, who. I mean, it. I. We think it's good. And now we're just like, yeah, come on. It's. It was hard and we. It was tough and thank God it got done. But. But go see it. But no, you. You learn how hard making a movie is. It's ridiculous.

[Daniel Simonson]

Especially for YouTube because you're in all the scenes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that was crazy. I didn't think about that really. It really ruined my life, honestly. That was the start of my relapse for real. We were just like. We would work for 14 hour days and then just get back, get Taco Bell or kebabs or we would drive, you know, McDonald's something with our boy. Beautiful. With Ben. And then Saxon, our beautiful camera operator, who was the man. And we would just get high. I would just get so high I would pass out. And then it would be like, all right, by the time you know it, time to work another 13, 14 hours and then do it all over again.

[Eldis Sula]

And then I had one car for the four of us.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

And we all had different call times.

[Stavros Halkias]

I know it sucked dick, but it was funny. It was fun to make a movie movie.

[Eldis Sula]

It was the best.

[Stavros Halkias]

But it was like, oh, man, we're. I'm just. I had my. My fast food relapse, man, and I didn't work out because there was no time to work out. And. And then after that, I went right to on the road. And then my. My special came out in December of that, so it was like. That was what I had to recover from. But, hey, it's all worth it because we. It's. It's crazy. It's insane. They let us make a movie. Like, that's fucking wild, dude. Like, no, you don't get to make movies. So please, if you. If you like a bunch of dumbasses making a movie, if you don't want to see, you know, just the Avengers or whatever the fuck, please go see this movie in theaters, for God's sakes. Maybe they'll make us make. Let us make another one. Holy shit. You hear that? Oh, that's the. That's the swishing of nets from the NBA season starting, folks. You know, I'm a hoops fiend. I don't want to brag. I was, you know, Roland Park Middle School. I was a reserve forward. Basketball is in my blood. And you know what I love more than watching it? Making it a little more interesting with my friends over at DraftKings, the home of NBA player props. Is it your first time at DraftKings? New DraftKings customers bet five bucks to get $200 in bonus bets. Instantly. Throw a little something on it. You know what I mean? I'm going to be. I can't tell you what to do legally. In fact, don't listen to anything I'm saying. But I'm excited to see what Giannis is up to this season. Anthony Edwards, a very charismatic man. Over in Minnesota, I'm rooting against the treacherous Boston Celtics. Whatever you want to do, do it with our pals at DraftKings. And use, of course, promo code STAVI. Every point counts with DraftKings Sportsbook. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STAVIESTA V V Y. That's code STAVI for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets. When you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings, the crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-Gambler in New York. Call 87778, Hopeny or text hopeny467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org, please play responsibly on behalf of Booth Hill casino and resort, KS 21 +. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void. New Hampshire, Oregon, Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng CO B ball. Yeah. So why don't we take some calls. I'm excited to hear, to hear what you boys have to say to our guests here. Hit us with some, some fun stuff here. Elders.

[Caller 1]

Sub.

[Stavros Halkias]

Stop playing, you fucking dumbass.

[Caller 1]

Substance sub guest Nick out here in Kansas has given you a call. I'm gonna get right to it.

[Eldis Sula]

Please do.

[Caller 1]

What is your advice for a young blood out Here like me, 25 years old, been in a relationship for four years and for some reason can't figure out whether it's time to pop the question or not. All four friends are getting married. She's a bridesmaid. Three or four times in one year. Obviously I've got the knife at my throat to figure this out, but do you say to a young lad like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Me, you are a young lady thinks.

[Caller 1]

Honestly 25 might be too young to get married? I think it is. I don't think, I think when I'm 35, I'm not gonna agree with half a shit my 25 year old self's doing right now. So to advice your young gun out.

[Stavros Halkias]

Here like me, really, like 25 years.

[Caller 1]

Old or not, but have a great one. I said blood so much, I'm not figuring it out.

[Eldis Sula]

He's right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, Wes, you got married young as.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah, I got married at 24, I think.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

And you were exactly right, my man.

[Daniel Simonson]

If you.

[Stavros Halkias]

By the way, that's not the wife he mentioned going to Amsterdam with. Yeah, like that did not work out.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah, like I, I got married. Yeah. 24. I met her at like 19. I still had the braces on.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, oh, this up with the braces on.

[Eldis Sula]

But I think it should be illegal to get married if you're a man like before the age of 30.

[Stavros Halkias]

Absolutely.

[Eldis Sula]

It should be law. Like women mature faster.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

So there's some more leeway there.

[Stavros Halkias]

We'll, we'll, we'll hear exceptions. But yeah, but no, it's insane. I mean, I feel because Kansas, Illinois, you're kind of going through similar or. I'm sorry Indiana, Similar. Like, cultural. Like, oh, everybody's getting married at this age. Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

And I felt that for sure. Like, the culture around me was like, it's time to get married.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. You must. Right.

[Eldis Sula]

And I was like, I don't want to let everybody down.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right.

[Eldis Sula]

Very accommodating.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

But I think it should be illegal, and you should have to. If you want to do it before 30, you should have to go through a series of tests. Like, you should have to fill out paperwork, like applications.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yep. Some hoops. We gotta have some hoops you gotta jump through. I mean. Yeah. You gotta think and look. Also, Wes, you were definitely a guy who was. This was not gonna be the life for you. I felt the same thing where I had a college girlfriend when I was 21, 22, or we started dating in college then. She so clearly wanted to have, like, get married, have a family, her friends, same thing. Even though Baltimore wasn't like, you know, wasn't like Kansas or whatever, she was just a traditional. She was more traditional. And I knew. I knew that wasn't gonna happen for me. Like, I could see what my life was gonna be like. I knew I wanted. By that time, I knew I wanted to do stand up. There was no way I was getting married to fucking. I wasn't gonna stay in this relationship. So, you know, we broke up, whatever. But there is a possibility this is okay. This is okay for you. I mean, it works for some people. Yeah. Right? It doesn't sound like.

[Daniel Simonson]

He doesn't sound so stoked, though.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right. If you're having these kinds of thoughts already. I mean, dude, you started dating when you were 21. 4 years. I agree that you have to figure this out, but the answer is get married or end this relationship. I mean, and that might be scary too, right? Because you're 21. You. He probably does really love her. Right? Like. Like you. Clearly there's some affection here. He's not just in it for no reason, but it does. You know, all we're going off of is how nervous you sound. Right. Like, we don't really have the facts of the case, but everything you're talking about. You've said knife to my. You said knife to my throat. You didn't say like, oh, I feel a little pressure, but she is the love of my life. You were like, I have a knife to my throat. I'm going to die if I don't marry this woman.

[Daniel Simonson]

So I wonder how she would describe it with her words.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Daniel Simonson]

So beautiful.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Yeah. If she heard this, what do you think she'd think if she heard you say knife to my throat? And the. And. And everything he's described has been, like, societal pressure. It hasn't been. Nothing you've said, buddy, has been about your. You haven't said one positive thing about your girlfriend. You've just said how scared you are and how young you are. And so I think you know the answer in your heart, the way you posed this question.

[Eldis Sula]

I think to even. To even vocalize these kind of thoughts. Like, for me, it took, like, two mushroom trips.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

To get to that point.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right. That's right. Didn't you get into force because you were on mushrooms? You came to it.

[Eldis Sula]

Didn't you say, oh, yeah, My. My ex wife played a mean prank on me when I was on mushrooms, and that was a real breaking point.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

It was just cruel.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Like, left, like, sent me, like, a.

[Stavros Halkias]

Cryptic text message when she knew you were on mushrooms.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah. Like, trying to. With me.

[Stavros Halkias]

And it worked. Yeah. That's so up. That's grounds for divorce.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah. He needs to do shrooms, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, that's not a bad idea. You know what? Actually. Yeah, dude, shrooms. Legit shrooms have honestly led me into some actual life breakthroughs. Truly.

[Eldis Sula]

Absolutely.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which is crazy. You know that say this is the kind of podcast you're. You're calling into. But yeah, douche rooms. If you're not ready to pull the trigger on, I honestly think I'm just gonna say this. Just break up with her. Just fucking move to where you want to live. Do you want to be in Kansas? Do you want. What do you want from your life? Truly, now is a moment to figure all this shit out. You don't propose to someone and hope it cut and figure it out. You really have to sit there, think about what you want your life to look like. If it does involve this woman, if it does, being ready. If you're ready to commit, which again, all of us, nobody on this couch or even in the producer's chair, I'm going to say, thinks you are. But if you really think that, that's fine, but you have to. Now is your time to think about what you want. And by the way, if when you sit down and think about it, you're like, I don't know. I'm 25 and I've been in this relationship since I was. Right out of college or in college. That's really valid. But that means you can't marry this woman. Right? So that's what you got to do. And, yeah, maybe mushrooms is really the way to go. Shout out to mushrooms man. A mushroom trip got me to take my health seriously. We're down 40 pounds this year. This calendar year. Thank you. All this. All right. Yeah. That guy's fucking.

[Caller 2]

Hey, Stu Eldest. And any guests they got on Susan situation. I am 29.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, deep.

[Caller 2]

I've been with my girl for coming on 40 years now. She's an amazing girl lover. We both understand each other. Open and honest about all of our sexual tastes and proclivities, let's say. But back before I met her, I got dumped by a girl who I was with for five years, and I kind of went on a little walkabout. Sexual walkabout, if you will.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nothing wrong with that.

[Caller 2]

Ended up hooking up with a guy, you know, trying stuff out. Problem was, he was he ended up being a really, really nice guy. Like, genuinely, like, besides just this guy. We're really cool, Bugs.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's awesome. The problem is, I. Someone I liked, and because he wasn't a crazy chick, I could remain friends with him. That's. That's so awesome. Yeah. Let's hear the rest of this. I am pumped for the rest of this call, Bugs.

[Caller 2]

And I. I've continued to talk to him for, like, four or five years now, and I want to, like, be friends with this guy, and I want to tell my girl about this dude, but I also don't want to ruin the relationship we have. She would probably understand it, but I'm still kind of scared. I mean, we have a very open relationship. He's told me all this stuff in our past about, like, you know, sex clubs, orgies, all this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nice.

[Caller 2]

But I'm just afraid that me dropping this now after three, four years in a relationship is kind of like a weird bombshell. No, he's already opened up stuff. The only reason I didn't open up to it was because I was afraid that it would be a deal breaker. But either way, I don't know. What do you. What do you guys got on this? You know, Should I just keep it, like, hey, this is my buddy that I just went to school with. Which was, like, the thing. I told her, I was like, hey, this is my we. They never met.

[Stavros Halkias]

We went to sucking each other's Cox Academy.

[Caller 2]

I told her, I was like, hey, this is my we. They never met. But, like, I'd be like, hey, I'm talking to my buddy Jake. We went to school. We never went to school. I just met him on Grindr one night When I was drinking way too much and, you know, depressed about it, really stripping, but I don't know. See. See what you got.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is awesome. This guy's so cool, man. And. And normally it would be like, if we got this call, if I just read it, I'd be like, el, there's someone. This is fake. But you hear it in this guy's voice. This is so real. He really met a cool guy who he. In the ass. And now they just play Madden or whatever the together.

[Eldis Sula]

We didn't meet at school.

[Stavros Halkias]

We didn't meet at school. I was on Grinder. Okay. I mean, number one, this is hilarious. But number two, I. Look, if your girl is like a. A freak, she probably loved. She would probably love this. This is like if she's a by girl. You know, how. How much credit a bi girl dating a straight guy if she gets to sneak you into the category of even sort of gay, Big win amongst her bisexual friends. You know what I mean? That's. I really think, like, some women. Don't get me wrong, some women who act cool about, like, you know, being allies or whatever, they would hate this. They would. There are women out there who are secretly more conservative than they let on for sure. Right. You're. This. This girl does not seem like that to me. Right. Like, I. She seems like she would probably love the fact that you got your dick sucked and maybe you sucked a little dick and even you being nervous about it. It's understandable. Right? Like, this guy clearly is dealing with. He might be a little. He's clearly a little by. And he's having a hard time coming to terms with that. And so I think you're a little. That's the only reason you didn't open up. Why would this be a deal breaker?

[Daniel Simonson]

I think it's because he likes the other guy so much.

[Stavros Halkias]

As a friend, you mean?

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah, I think he.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, if he wasn't in his life, he would have been like, oh, yeah, look, I also the guy. But, like, you're right. That's true. That.

[Daniel Simonson]

That does complicate this other dude. Makes him so happy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Maybe you should date this guy.

[Daniel Simonson]

I think that that's where the issue is. Like, yeah, right over the moon about. Must be our Mason guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, no, I will say he. The other guy must be pretty cool. Like, think about when you randomly hook up with someone and then, you know, sex continue to be friends. That's a very cool person. Straight or gay. Like, there's no girl that I hooked up with that I was like, you know what? I don't want any. I just want to get lunch. You know what I mean? Like, this guy's cool. So. But I think you might actually be onto something here, Daniel too, because maybe there, this guy, and we're, we're completely armchair psychologists here, but is there something to. It was a, you're like, it's a one time thing. Clearly you have a little shame about this, otherwise he would have told his girlfriend about it. Is there an element of this where it's like, like he kind of does want to be a little more gay and he can't. And he can't open up about that to his girlfriend? Like, does he have any kind of romantic feelings here for the guy or even, like, even if they're not serious? If, if, let's say you were in an open relationship with your, with your girlfriend, would you occasionally get the odd suck off from your pal here or there? Maybe? You know what I mean? But that's all we can only, that's all conjecture on our part dealing with his actual question. The fact that it's a friend is a little weirder, right? Like, even if you take. Let's just, let's make it a straight situation, purely straight, where it's like if I had a friend who I hooked up with once. Like a girl that we hooked up, we started dating, you know, we used to, we used to, we hooked up once and then I was like, I wasn't feeling it, but she's cool and I brought her around my girlfriend, and it just never was the right time to tell her we hooked up. And now it's four years later and you're like, you have to tell her. Hey, it was one thing. Like, that's, that's just weird in and of itself, let alone the like element of him. I actually feel like the fact that it's a guy makes that part a little easier. If you truly are, if it truly was a one time thing, you're like, look, I had a little. I was kind of in my wild phase. I hooked up with this guy. Wasn't for me. He was a chill bloke though. Like, that actually is not that hard to, to explain.

[Eldis Sula]

In fact, you know him and he's here.

[Stavros Halkias]

In fact. Yeah, we didn't go to school. We met at a glory hole. There was just something about those lips on the other end of that glory. I was like, that's a pair of lips I could drink a beer with, not just get my dick sucked by.

[Eldis Sula]

And we only kissed through the glory Hole.

[Stavros Halkias]

I've never looked into his eyes while he sucked my dick. So it's pretty straight if you think about it. And I was. I was looking at a picture of a chick the whole time. So, yeah, I don't know. I think. I think our caller here has a little shame. Some gay. Some internalized homophobia a little bit, if you think that's a deal breaker. But you've. You've talked about how open and you guys are both kind of freaky. It sounds like in this relationship, this is nothing to a freaky bitch. Dude, this is absolutely, again, freaky girls. Bi girls would love to be able to drop in a conversation. You know, my boyfriend actually a man. See, I actually think for some women, that's a positive. And this might be one of them, the type of girl you're talking about, former orgy sex club girl. But either way, I think you should come, like, just get it off your chest. Because it's an opportunity to like, not keep anything from your girl. Right? Like, you guys are. You're clearly in a serious relationship. You really care about her. You shouldn't have a deep, dark thing, especially when it's not a big deal. It's really not. You hooked up with somebody and then you stayed friends with them. That's not that crazy. That happens to a lot of people, dude. So, you know, I think you're good here. I think you've built it up. And I think, given I'm taking what you're saying for granted here, that you and your girl are this open with each other. And I think this actually be a really nice moment for you where you get something off your chest. You realize it's not a big deal. You were building it up for no real reason. And the shit's good. And then, you know, maybe you tell her about it. She's like, oh, really? That's hot. Can I watch you get your dick sucked by him? And then maybe you guys can all fuck. Who knows? I don't know how freaky the relationship is, but a lot of options here. And that is. That is awesome. That's. You know when people say it's hard to make friends as an adult? This guy really figured it out. This guy got his dick sucked and got a buddy. He didn't have to join a dodgeball league or anything. Oh, fuck, that's a great call.

[Caller 3]

Hi, David. I'm calling, I guess, for. Because, like, I need a male opinion. Like, so I'm 27 and, like, you know, living in the same world that you're Living in whatever.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like, that's true.

[Caller 3]

I can't get over how much like what's hot from women has changed from like curvy, like Kim Kardashian looking like fat ass and like six eyes and stuff.

[Stavros Halkias]

Nice.

[Caller 3]

Which I'm equipped with to now. It's like heroin chic is back in where it's like skinny tiny girls that like have a 12 year old body and like wear baby clothes and like have the whole daddy Persona thing. Like, and like to each their own and stuff. But like, are there men out there that still like women with like tits and butts and stuff? Because, like, are you kidding me?

[Stavros Halkias]

Jesus Christ. What have we done to women? We got a. With big tits and a fat ass wondering if people will fuck her. I'm so sorry about society, man. This is fucking crazy. But we'll finish your call. But Jesus. Yeah, you're fine. Let's finish the call. I do have some thoughts on, you know, how cyclical all this stuff is. But let's. Let's completely. Errot. I mean, but just the sentence. Are there still men out there that like women with tits and butts? Yes, there are, but let's finish the rest of the call.

[Caller 3]

Turning 27 is like your body changes and like, I think in good ways.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh yeah.

[Caller 3]

Like nobody wants. I don't know, it just seems like everyone wants like super, like flat. No everything so that they just look like children or something and like, you know, wear little lacy socks and stuff versus like dressing like a woman. And like I get the appeal because it's like dominance or whatever, but like women like to be dominated. I don't know, like just what's. What do men. And also like, do men really care about like, like I have curly hair and I damaged it so many years for straight, like, what's going on?

[Eldis Sula]

Pause.

[Stavros Halkias]

This is a girl that's just trying to get me to. I mean, I. This is everything I've talked about. I like, she's like, oh, I have big fat tits, fat ass and curly hair. I've been on the wreck. What are you? Redhead, half Asian also. What the fuck's going on here? I mean, this is insane. She's checking everything off. Anyway, keep going. This is fucking nuts.

[Caller 3]

Like, I have curly hair and I damaged it so many years for straight. Like, do guys like really look at tiny details of like, oh, wow, she really did her eyebrows really well. And like, because that's changed too. It used to be really thin, like arched eyebrows and now it's like full eyebrows are like the women have just gone insane with their standards of changing things.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller 3]

And it's hard to like, keep track to know what is like. Like, do men's standards change with the times? Like at the same rate that women standards for themselves are changing? I guess. I don't know. I guess any advice regarding that would be cool. I don't even really know what I asked, but yeah. Thank you. You're doing a really great job. I love your comedy and you're hilarious. And this podcast is often awesome. Not often. It's just awesome. And hi to the Albanian guy too.

[Stavros Halkias]

Disrespects Eldest too. I mean, this is my dream girl. Fat tits, curly hair, doesn't even know eldest's name. Text her back, ask her to go out with me. Eldest. Jesus Christ. Okay, so there's some interesting. First of all, number one, God damn, it's hard being a woman, man. It's like this lady's like, she's so worried about. And I do. There is some. I mean, she is not wrong. I have definitely seen a little bit more of the, like, there seems to be, you know, celebrities are getting skinny again in a weird way. People have said it's something about how surge, like getting a BBL and fake tits is now like affordable. And once it became affordable for people, like now rich people like, well, the hard thing is to be skinny. And now that's, it's, it's always like, you know, and you see it. The Kardashians are on fucking Ozempic probably their tits aren't as big like. And I also know the thing she's saying about the. There is a little bit of that, like, you know, the lacy sock. I know what she's talking about. I've seen a little bit of that about the, you know, style wise or whatever girls are kind of being. There's a version of being super feminine that's kind of out there. It seems the good news is when it comes to fashion, when it comes to trends, when it comes to anything, men are 10 years behind. So even if this were true, right? And it's, it's half true. It's not getting the guys for 10 years. And then the even better news is that tits, tits are never going out of style. I'm sorry, this is a currency that is, that is. It's like gold. No matter where you go, tits will always be. Will always. That money spends anywhere. Okay. That's very important to know. And yes, gay guys will not say you ate anymore. Right? The definition of what serving cunts. Now it's being skinny. Like, gay guys won't review your outfits and be like, wow, she's awesome. Straight guys will continue to fuck you until the end of time. There's nothing to worry about. What you're worried about is culture at large. And I also do think there's a little bit of a. I don't. I do think, like, the idea of body acceptance and body positivity, that's not going anywhere, right? So even if, like, Even if, like, hairstyles and. And dressing styles, whatever, people are more accepting of all types of bodies and you happen to have a body type that I promise you is not going. Is not going out of style. But I don't know, like, if you guys noticed any of the stuff she's talking about.

[Daniel Simonson]

Like, I never heard that thing that you should dress like a child.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

Also, who is making the trends?

[Stavros Halkias]

That's not gay guys.

[Eldis Sula]

Gay guys and like, social media too. It's like, it's happening faster and faster and it's like, impossible to keep up with.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Eldis Sula]

So don't even. Just be yourself.

[Stavros Halkias]

Just be yourself. You're clearly a little neurotic too. But particularly what you're worried about is just like, I don't know, it is trends. It's mass culture trends. It's not. It is not interpersonal relationships. Right? It is not. And you're right too, Wes, where things are changing so fast that kind of. It's almost like, well, now no one can actually keep up.

[Eldis Sula]

Right?

[Stavros Halkias]

So it's almost freeing in that. No, a lot of people are just going to find. Find your personal niche, find your personal style, find how you feel comfortable dressing. If you want to take elements from what's popular, you're like, oh, I kind of like that. Maybe I'll do that. But like, like, you just have to. You have to be like, in your own skin, comfortable. As cliche as it is, you have to just find a thing that works for you and maybe you can change it at the margins. Right? Like, you know, you can wear a lacy sock or whatever the. I do. I. I don't know exactly know what she's talking about, but I definitely have seen, like, I guess it's called. I've seen people posting about, like, a. Some kind of aesthetic. Like, they name a different aesthetic every, like, you know, like, soft girl aesthetic or like, I mean, it used to be like, trad wife aesthetic. Now maybe the thing she's talking about is like a coquette aesthetic. I think I've seen, like, but it's Just shit that I don't even feel like is a. It's like, I think it comes and goes in like two weeks or so. Right.

[Eldis Sula]

It's so fast.

[Daniel Simonson]

She seems to be one of the first to have these concerns.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right. You're maybe your biggest problem is how plugged in you are. Right. Like you see this stuff. But, but, but yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

The dangers that are looming the day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. That are coming just around the bend. Don't straighten your hair. Like that's, that's a perfect example though, right. Getting damage to your hair because you're trying to fit in. Figure out a way to live and dress that makes you feel good and comfortable and people will be out there for it. What were you going to say? Eldest?

[Wes Haney]

I was going to say too. There's like so many different ways to be hot. Like there might be like more prevailing standards at any given time, but like, you know, know, look back at any era of like celebrities, you'll find celebs with like all different types from like the 60s and 70s who are like skinny or a little. For sure, you know, thicker or whatever. And they're just like, you know, they're just like, you know, guys really don't care about like, yes. Standards.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like men definitely.

[Wes Haney]

Like, it's like if a girl's hot, she's just hot. It doesn't matter like what type of body she is. There's just like something that you know, you want to.

[Stavros Halkias]

Amen.

[Eldis Sula]

Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Well, so beautifully put, elders. Sometimes women are just something that you want to.

[Wes Haney]

And they can be skinny or they have big ass tits.

[Stavros Halkias]

And I do think the other thing to realize is that like trying to keep up with trends is just a losing proposition. Right. Like it's, and also it's like you're, I'm not saying you're old in any, in any sense, but didn't she. 27. You should stop caring about this right around this age. Right. Like, like hopping on the trends. Like your time in your 20. Yeah. In your 20s, it's like you, you're, you're keeping up with all this. It's like just you're, you're a little in your head. It's, it's clear you're a little nervous about this. But like you're, you know, trying to keep up. No one will ever keep up. People drive themselves crazy keeping up. Even people that are keeping up with it have stylists, have assistants, have, have. It's impossible to do it yourself. Every celebrity that you're like, I love how they dress they pay someone whose job is to find outfits all day. Jeff Goldblum has a fucking stylist. He didn't become fashionable at fucking 60. You know what I mean? Like the same thing with every hot woman. It's like their team is insane. You're not competing against. You know, people say we have all the same 24 hours in the day. No, we fucking don't. People with assistance have. That's three more fucking hours a day. They have a chef that's fucking two more hours a day. They have a fucking maid that's two more hours a day. Like you're competing with these trends that are insane. Find some shit that's coming for you. You've got some, you've got some very good things going for you in terms of. That's the thing. You're not even like, I'm busted. Like, you're not saying, I'm an ugly ass bitch. You're like, I have huge tits and a fat ass. What is this? Do I have to be stupid skinny? It's like the truth is we do live in a cruel world where if you are ugly, life is harder. You're not ugly. It sounds like. You know what I mean? Like you're, you got, you got. You're. You're just like worried about exactly crushing trends. No one keeps up with trends. The key is to. And even by the way, even if you were up looking, I think a big part of the show is the, the best thing you can do is self acceptance. And you know, my, my whole thing now, obviously it's easier when you're a man. I'm ugly and fat as shit. My life's awesome. You know what I mean? Like, but just accept yourself, you're good. Don't try and keep up with this shit. And yeah, hilarious. Hilarious. Fear to have. I want eldest. I want you to do like a picture of you, like a really nice portrait. And then get the quote you said in cursive and like put it like, this is something that you want to follow. Eldest. Sula. We gotta, we gotta start doing that. The eldest quote of the episode.

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Eldis Sula]

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[Stavros Halkias]

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[Caller 4]

Hey Stav, my beautiful Mediterranean man. Eldi, great Albanian giant and esteemed guests. So I'm dealing with this situation. I'll try not to ramble, but recently turned 30. I'm trying to get my life back on track and I started working out hard in the gym five days a week, two hours each morning. It's been good for my mental health. It's been good. You know, me and my wife just feel healthier and pushing her to be healthier, and it's nice all around. One problem that I've noticed from it, though, is that I am horny all the time now. I was already horny before, but now I cannot get through the day without masturbating two to three times a day. And if I don't master masturbate, I feel like it affects my mood. I get anxious or I'll get a little, you know, angry at some small things, and if it goes on longer than a couple days, I just get straight up depressed. Kind of affecting my marriage a little bit because my wife's libido never matched mine before this. And now it's gotten to the point where I'm begging her for sex just to get this poison out of me and I'm feeling like it's just a problem. I don't want to stop working out, but I used to take antidepressants and one side effect that I noticed is that my dick didn't really work. I hated how I felt on it, but I'm seriously considering going back on it just to get the monster back in the cage.

[Stavros Halkias]

Jesus Christ.

[Caller 4]

Any advice would be much appreciated. Love you guys.

[Stavros Halkias]

Holy. This man is dangerously horny. He's dangerously horny. How long do you say he's been working out? Like he just started recently turned there. I'm trying to get my life back on track and I Started working out hard in the gym. Five days a week, two hours each morning. Great. Yeah. I mean, damn, you might even out, but I mean, don't chemically castrate yourself. Like, don't, don't go on a fucking pill. You hated to make your dick soft.

[Eldis Sula]

Well, it could be different though now that he's in a different body now.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, right, right.

[Eldis Sula]

Maybe it would affect him differently.

[Stavros Halkias]

True, that's true. Yeah, that's true. But I think part of this is if this is relatively new, I do think this will level out. I do think there's something to just getting a little healthier. All your hormones are a little like, you're just, you're just activated. You're not as depressed. Things aren't tamped down. Yeah, I mean, hopefully this evens out. I don't know what to tell you. Very way too horny. And he's, he's working out two hours a day, going to work, beating off at work and then trying to his wife when he gets home. That's crazy. Dude. You're 30.

[Eldis Sula]

Dad style, begging wife.

[Stavros Halkias]

What if I do the dishes? Angry because he can't because his dick is so hard. It makes him angry at the little things. I mean, wild dude, two to three times a day. This level of being horny is kind of crazy. Was he, has he lost weight or is this just the working out? I guess he hasn't said it.

[Wes Haney]

Assume there's some weight loss or something. I mean, you know, I would say for starters, well, just keep beating off a couple times a day. That's not that big of a deal. You know, like work out in the morning or beat off when you wake up. Even before or after your workout.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Wes Haney]

Beat off once a night. If you're beating off at the office, you should probably like try to reel that in. But you know, if you must, you must.

[Eldis Sula]

If it's like take a long lunch, you gotta do.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Wes Haney]

But it's like, you know, yeah, just like keep beating yourself off, holding yourself. I mean, I would ask him like, you know, what is, what does he want? Like, like the solution to be.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, like you can't your wife three times a day. Like even, even like be realistic here. You can your wife a little more than you're currently her. But you're both adults with busy schedules. Like you don't get the, the way you did in college. So what is your end game here?

[Wes Haney]

Yeah, like do you want to your wife daily or something? Is that like, you know, realistic for time and start there and I don't know, I think it will just kind of like, level out. It sounds like this. It sounds like he's sort of replacing his antidepressants with exercise. So it does seem like all a very new. Like he's going through something very chemical.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right.

[Wes Haney]

And it's. It's like a perfect storm of. So getting off the antidepressants that killed his boners.

[Stavros Halkias]

That might have just done it on its own. Yeah, you're right, Alice. This is two big things. Right. Off antidepressants and actually work. Because I've been working out and I definitely feel like a sense of. I'm not as horny as this guy. I'm probably much fatter than him too. But it definitely makes you feel like, more in touch with, like, your. Like, just chemically, you're using your body the way it's supposed to be used. Like, I just feel things more is all I can say. Right. Like by exercising more and by losing some weight, hormones are, you know, you get more bang for your buck. But yeah, you're right. Combining that with getting off the off antidepressants, that's sounds like an axman right now. Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

So strong in all types of ways. This is so honest. Like, you couldn't even say this to your therapist.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's true. That's what we're here for, dude. That's the service we provide. So, yeah, man. I mean, I think Eldis is right. I think you have to keep beating off. And I think you also have to have to realize, like, I mean, how long has this been going on? Give yourself a little time to level out. Get used to the new normal. If you're still this dangerously horny, it's like, what's the solution? Because even if you're. He doesn't, like, you know, we get the call all the time where it's a guy lost weight and he's. Or just anyone is trying to get permission for. He wants our permission to cheat. He's not real. This could be the preamble to that a little bit. The like, oh, I'm so horny, my wife won't fuck me. But even if you were to cheat, you would have to be compulsive to satisfy this level of urges. Like, it's not like you can get a fucking. You'd have to, like, this isn't a mistress. Doesn't solve this. You would have to cheat. And then probably frequently sex workers like, you would have to scratch this itch. Truly would be a problem. And so I would say give yourself a little Time to let the chemicals balance out. And if this is still going on, then we're not talking. We're talking about something pathological. Like, this is a level of horny that's not just chemical. If you keep it up over, like, two to three months and beating off this much and even wanting to fuck that much. Is there something psychological going on that you need to talk about? What's triggering this? If it's not just the gym? Might just be the gym. And in which case, you know, you dial.

[Eldis Sula]

Do an hour each morning.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Two hours and maybe the rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

But he says he was already horny before, right?

[Stavros Halkias]

He does say he's a horny guy, so maybe there is.

[Daniel Simonson]

Whatever he does, if he tries to better his life, that's always a side effect to this. Get even more.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, gets hornier. You're right. He. So, yeah. Already a horny guy to begin with. So. Yeah, dude, I don't know. Maybe I. You know. Do you want to go to therapy and talk about why your dick is so hard? Maybe legitimately, like, because, like, beating off multiple times a day. You're talking about middle school levels of horny, dude. That's crazy. Especially at 30. That's kind of nuts.

[Wes Haney]

I'm sorry. Two to three times is not even that many times a day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Like every fucking day. I don't know. What are you talking.

[Wes Haney]

Works from home or something? Like, that's. That's nothing.

[Stavros Halkias]

You beat off three times a day?

[Wes Haney]

If I work from home, yes.

[Stavros Halkias]

Which, by the way, you do.

[Wes Haney]

If I work from home. It's not a crazy thing to have a day where I beat off, like.

[Stavros Halkias]

Three times a day. That can get away from you. This guy's talking about. It's the normal elders. What are you talking about? You don't beat off three times. You don't average three time, three ejaculations a day.

[Wes Haney]

I don't know. Not every day, but it's just not that crazy or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

It's kind.

[Wes Haney]

If he's at home all day.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, but if you don't beat off, you get angry. Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Would you get angry? That's the question. Would you get really angry if you didn't?

[Wes Haney]

Not angry, but maybe antsy or something.

[Stavros Halkias]

All right, give us a. Because I think. I think one a day is kind of like. Okay. If you beat off once a day, that's totally normal. Totally normal. Although some people might find that to be a lot. Right. Like every single day. But look, one a day. I'm giving you no questions asked. 2 I'm hearing an argument, but I think we're getting a little weird. 3. No way. For a man who's 30 is regularly jacking off three times normal. It just is not eldest. I'm sorry. Now I'm not saying you can't have a three day. You certainly have a three day. You have a two day. I totally get it. But that's a lot. That's fucking crazy. All right. And also you recently spent the night at my house for over five days and you. You told me you didn't jack off because you had no private space for those five days. And you did not seem very antsy to me.

[Wes Haney]

I didn't jack off in those days. But that's because we're keep. We're like very busy. We're keeping busy with a lot of work stuff. A lot of activity. So that gets your mind off it.

[Eldis Sula]

Breaking a lot of dishes.

[Stavros Halkias]

I'm just saying this guy's talking about he's working out and going to work. Doesn't that sound busy? He's talking about he's got to jack off multiple times a day. Something's wrong. Something's fucking wrong here. And he's got to get to the bottom of it. That's all I'm saying.

[Wes Haney]

All right.

[Stavros Halkias]

Fair elders fucking saying he jacks off three times a day. And let's take it to the panel here. What do you guys think about the frequency of jacking off off? What's a normal number?

[Daniel Simonson]

That sounds like a lot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, one. Three is a lot. Thank you.

[Eldis Sula]

Three's a lot.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you.

[Wes Haney]

I'm not saying I do do it every single day. I'm saying it's not that crazy work from home.

[Stavros Halkias]

Look, we're not having this year. We just had this argument. We're not having it again cyclically.

[Wes Haney]

I'll get off the how many times can you beat off hill.

[Stavros Halkias]

But yeah. Dude, I don't know. I honestly think you might want to talk about your. Because you're right. He said he's a horny guy to begin with. This might not be a bad thing to talk to a therapist about sexual stuff like this. I don't. I think you're out of the realm of normal horniness. But anyway, who's to say what else we got big ld.

[Caller 1]

Hey style. Big fan of the show. Just have a real kind of weird question to ask. So recently I went on a wine date just because I recently. Not recently, but I got out a long term relationship this year. We were getting girls. Had been together about four years and so my friends had set up a blind date with a girl she knew that she thought I'd like a lot. And we met and we hit it off and the date was great. You know, we have a puck. That's important because personality wise, we get along great. We have a lot of same interests, sense of humor. Main problem is she looks just like my sister. And I'm not saying like, oh, they have similar hair colors or eye color. Like, you put those two next to each other and they are like, almost carbon fucked up. And I don't know how to deal with sex. Like, I like the girl, personality wise. Like, we get along great. But it is a very odd thing to try to fuck someone that looks just like your sister.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Should I keep going for this? No, because she wants to go on another date. I mean, on a personality level, I want to go on another date, but I don't know what to do. Thanks, Dob.

[Stavros Halkias]

He can't. I mean, this is crazy. You can't fuck someone that looks like your sister. What are you. What are we talking about here? Unless this, like, unless this girl, like, shaves her head or something, like she's got to make extreme changes to her appearance. But you're saying they look just like each other. And you're even considering what if you have to fuck her, you're going to be looking at someone who looks just like you. I mean, this is fucking weird, dude. If you wanted to do this, this. That would be so up. This is cra. You can't do that. That's nuts.

[Eldis Sula]

Not only that, then every time you see your sister after that.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, that's that. Really? That's weird, dude. It's hard.

[Wes Haney]

It's hard to say without like, seeing them side by side. Like he's saying, cuz don't you think. Don't you think this could be something? Like, could this be something that's in his mind? And in his mind they just have like certain features that remind him exactly of each other.

[Stavros Halkias]

But even if. Who cares? Is the outside guy gonna fuck her or. No, I guess that would make it.

[Wes Haney]

Worse now that I'm saying if they don't look alike and he's just like, she looks just like my sister.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, dude. I mean, this, this guy, okay, this shows you how little pussy this guy's gotten that he's even considering doing this. That he's like. He's like, I just got out of a relationship, his friend set him up on a blind date, clearly trying to get him out back out there and he's just so desperate for pussy that he's like, yeah, I could fuck a girl that looks like my sister. Like, you can't do this.

[Eldis Sula]

I want to know, did the friend. Does the friend know the sister?

[Stavros Halkias]

True.

[Eldis Sula]

The friend is in the wrong here.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's true. Maybe, maybe not. I mean, you know, I could see a friend not knowing exactly what. You know what I mean? Like, there are some friends I know who. They don't. They don't know my brothers look like. You know what I mean? Like, they've heard of. You know, they know that they've. You know, I tell stories about them, but they don't. And even if they've met them, it's not like they have it, you know, their mind, it's burned into them. So I could see that. But I think what's going on here is that you just need to get. This is a good. This is actually good for you because it shows you how bad you want to fuck that you're willing to consider fucking someone that looks like your blood sister. This is. Even if she looked like a stepsister, we're back in business. That's actually weird and hot. Like the fact that it's like, looks like a stepsister, not a stepsister. Crap. You can't do this, but you need to stay out there. That's. That's what this is to me.

[Daniel Simonson]

And, yeah, he doesn't say if he's attracted to her either.

[Stavros Halkias]

I think it's cool. They say he. He is, though, is the weird thing. So.

[Daniel Simonson]

He is because he said. He said it well, he said he.

[Stavros Halkias]

Wants to go on another date. Personality wise, he really likes her. And he's clearly thinking about fucking her. Like, he's already thought about it, right? And he's like, can I? So it's like he's putting it through the program. He's putting it through the can I fuck this woman? Program.

[Daniel Simonson]

So he seems like he's quite up for it, to be honest.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yes.

[Daniel Simonson]

Just run a second opinion.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This. Yeah. He's kind of downplaying. He's like, I find it weird. I definitely am not harder than I've been in years at the prospect of fucking someone that looks like my sister. You can't do this. This is fucked up. Sucks that she's cool. It does. It sucks that if her personality was in a different woman, you would like to date her. But I think some things are too fucking weird now. I don't have a sister eldest. What would you do in this situation?

[Wes Haney]

I don't know. I mean, I've never been through it, so I don't really know.

[Stavros Halkias]

You're the man today, dude. Three times is normal. And who's to say if I. My sister's doppelganger? But you're being honest. You can't really tell until you're face to face with the. With the gun in your face how you're going to react. Yeah, I vote. This is crazy. You can't do this. That's just. That's just weird on a basic human level. What do you got? You got. You got something nice for us here. Eldest, what's up?

[Caller 4]

Stuff. First time, long time, you know, the whole thing. So not really a problem. More of just like a how do I go about it problem. Dating this girl. Love her, definitely gonna marry her. Love my wife. She's awesome. But before we were dating, I was seeing this girl who was just a fucking freak in the bed. And I'm not saying the sex is bad. Sex is great. It's really just with blowjobs, I'm not hogging. I don't have a fucking crazy dick or anything. But she like barely puts it all the way in her mouth and I feel like she's just not trying that hard. Like, how do I go about being like, yo, I want you gagging and on this thing.

[Stavros Halkias]

Okay, let's relax thing. I'm. I'm like the Pac man guy. Like, you know that sound?

[Eldis Sula]

That's what I want.

[Stavros Halkias]

What do you say? He's like, what kind of guy?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, I guess like a guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh, I see.

[Caller 4]

But no, maybe we'll be married and I'll forget about it, but awesome.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thanks.

[Caller 4]

Love you, Elvis. You're the man.

[Stavros Halkias]

How do I get my soon to be wife to suck my better. An interesting. An interesting quandary.

[Daniel Simonson]

Your fans are quite weirdos.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, well, we like to have open and honest lines of communication. And so they very. They feel very comfortable. Um, now look, I see where this guy's coming from. Right? You know, you want to be able to get top notch head from your wife. I think it's a losing proposition to compare to compare to an ex or even somebody doesn't even sound like you dated. Like there's a reason you're not with someone who's that good at sucking dick, bro. Like there's a reason that freak thing just fell apart. Right? Like there. There's a reason for that. So it's unfair to highlight her best attributes versus a person who you know is better in every other single way. It's like, yeah, okay, what are you gonna do so you don't get everything. And especially when you said the sex is good. Now it sounds like you want us to teach you how to be good at fucking. Like, what am I supposed to tell you, how to fuck your wife? You gotta figure that out, pal. It's definitely a possibility. You can definitely get better head from a woman who fears you in the bedroom. Not fears, but you know what I mean? Not fears, but like, you're he clearly. He's like, how do I get her to gag and fucking gargle on. And that made me uncomfortable because it's like that's how you're supposed to talk to her when her dick is in your mouth. When your dick is in her mouth. Don't talk to me that way. Say that when your dick is in her mouth. Then maybe you. It might happen. But you can't be timid with your wife and a, and, and a big shot around on the voicemail at ST World. Apply some of that gumption to her and I think you'd like what you find. You know, you'd like what you find. But my guess is you're being timid about the whole thing. And. Yeah, I don't know, I think, I.

[Daniel Simonson]

Wonder how he talks to her in real life. His wife. Yeah, she's super polite, for sure.

[Stavros Halkias]

For sure. And by the way, there's nothing wrong with that. But it's also like if you want this kind of behavior, if you want that level of getting your dick sucked, you might have to earn it from some people. Like some women. Yeah, they're virtuosos sometimes. It's LeBron. Put whoever you want on that team. He's gonna be incredible. But other people are not so good. They need to be coached up, you know what I mean? Your wife is clearly not a dick sucking phenom, but she can be a systems player. Support her, surround her around, build a team of support around her. Right? You have to take, you have to be, you know, she's got to be a game manager at sucking dick. You got to put all the elements there for her so that she's good at sucking dick. You might have to walk her through it, whatever. Like, you know, be, be like more vocal about what you want. But again, I cannot make you fuck your wife better. You have to do that.

[Wes Haney]

He should also just talk to her. You know, you don't have to start with like dirty talk like when, when you're mid. Especially if you don't do that regularly.

[Stavros Halkias]

Right, like, right, that Would be so funny.

[Wes Haney]

Have like a candid conversation. Be like, I think we could spice things up and. Yeah, what do you think? And just start from there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, absolutely. Can we try some stuff?

[Eldis Sula]

I've been thinking that I'm kind of a Pac man guy.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Wes Haney]

And I want that hawk too.

[Stavros Halkias]

Can you paint your whole face yellow and suck my dick and go while you do it? Yeah, I think that's the answer here. There's no. I don't know what else to tell this guy. Yeah.

[Eldis Sula]

Talk to your wife.

[Stavros Halkias]

Talk to your wife. Be better at her. And that's really it. It can get lonely climbing Mount McKinley. So to entertain myself, I go to Chumbacasino.com at Chuma Casino. I can play hundreds of online casino style games for free. Like online slots, bingo, slingo and more. Plus I get a daily login bonus. It's just too bad that up here I don't have anyone to share my excitement with.

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Stavros Halkias]

To go out on. Eldest, what do you think?

[Wes Haney]

Yeah, this is kind of more of an anecdote. Ties into something we brought up earlier with Daniel. Okay, just let you guys hear it and respond.

[Stavros Halkias]

I love it.

[Caller 1]

St Bro. So I'm going to try this again. I went to Norway during college for a study abroad thing for like six months. And while I was over there, most of our. Most of my friends ended up being other exchange students. I have a question about an Albanian that I met over there.

[Stavros Halkias]

Oh man.

[Caller 1]

His name, which you should probably bleep, was something like that. And he had to leave probably about a month and a half into the whole semester because he had to go back to Albania to deal with a court case because he had stabbed a guy. And I asked him about it. I heard you stabbed the guy, but you're obviously, you don't seem to be a violent person or out of control. So what happened? He's like, well, this guy was trying to fight my brother and so I stabbed him. And I was like expecting a little more of a Story than that. And I was like, okay, what? You know, did your brother have a knife? And he was like, no. And I was like, did that guy have a knife? He's like, no. I was like, so this guy trying to get in a fistfight with your brother. So you stabbed me? He's like, fuck, yeah. That's exactly what happened. Okay, cool. Well, good luck, man. And I just figured I would probably not see him and he would be going to jail in Albania instead of coming back. But he did come back for about a week, and he was like, cleared of all charges. Didn't need to. Didn't need to deal with it anymore. We all went out and partied, and he didn't do anything too crazy the whole time anyway. So my question is, is this like a normal part of Albanian culture? You can be a normal guy and then occasionally, like, stab someone who's trying to get in a fight with your brother? Do I need to do anything in the future to, like, screen for Albanians that I meet for, like, how likely they are to whip a knife out in any given situation? Just kind of point me in the right direction on this because I don't have much experience with Albanians. You have one that's remarkably well trained.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thank you.

[Caller 1]

So I figured I'd give you a call and get your thoughts on this.

[Stavros Halkias]

Thanks.

[Wes Haney]

I mean, why do you think stuff needs me on the road? It ain't to set up some cameras. It's a look in the crowd for those people looking at him funny.

[Stavros Halkias]

Eldest elders has. The elders has a knife on him at all times. This is awesome. Yeah, he went to. Well, the thing. The thing you don't realize is he went to Albanian court, but he. What that entailed was he had to mud wrestle the other guy. And so he probably just beat him in a nude mud wrestling wrestling contest and was then absolved of all charges. So that's kind of the traditional Albanian judicial system. So that's probably why he got off scot free. But I don't know. This is it a very stabbing culture?

[Wes Haney]

I've never heard of a stabbing, but I wouldn't be surprised if I heard some tale from my relatives abroad that involved a stabbing or something. I don't know. The courts also seem like kind of loosey goosey general. Yeah. Who knows what I mean, I'm sure it wasn't mud wrestling. Maybe, you know, maybe there is a little envelope of money.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe.

[Wes Haney]

Maybe there was even some skipping the whole thing and no one followed up or something. Going back to Norway.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, sure. Sure.

[Wes Haney]

I don't know. I haven't. I haven't heard of any. Well, yeah, it's like feasible, but. I don't know.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting. What, is it violent over there, people fucking? Because I know in England they'll stab each other.

[Daniel Simonson]

You guys remember when I was a kid, there were like, people had knives, but they figured out where you could stab someone without hurting them. Specific spots on the side. Very polite.

[Stavros Halkias]

That's where they would stab you is like it wouldn't cause damage. Yeah. And they were just trying to rob you, I guess. Or.

[Daniel Simonson]

What's the one we fight? At school there was a rule you couldn't hit the face.

[Stavros Halkias]

Body blows too much. I honestly like that though, because it's like, look, kids are going to fight. Yeah. Just don't hit each other in the face. Each other up in the body. That's hilarious. Yeah. Is there. What's the. Is there like a dangerous part of T. Like what's the most criminal? What's the. Is it like a crime you're known for? Is there a drug you.

[Daniel Simonson]

There's a lot of heroin.

[Stavros Halkias]

Heroin. Oh, classic.

[Daniel Simonson]

That's the big one.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah, yeah. That's a good one of the big ones. Yeah. Yeah.

[Daniel Simonson]

Think cocaine is like a recent thing because I heard now that is like Norway clubs. That's like more new in Norway.

[Stavros Halkias]

Interesting.

[Daniel Simonson]

But I think if someone stabs. Yeah.

[Stavros Halkias]

Maybe you should keep a distance from the Albanian stabber.

[Daniel Simonson]

Yeah. Like be a guy. You wouldn't want to wound them up or anything, you know?

[Stavros Halkias]

I agree with that. Yeah. Don't wind up.

[Daniel Simonson]

Get him like agitator.

[Stavros Halkias]

Yeah. Well, it's nice to get these first person reports of Albanian dogs across the world. Thank you for calling in. If you know of an Albanian criminal, please let us know. So we. We know to avoid. But, you know, we're happy everything turned out well for your friend over there. Well, guys, I think that's going to do for us. Thanks for coming. This was awesome, guys. Please watch the movie. All three of us are in it, baby. Me and Wes wrote it with our friend Ben, who directed it. And we have. There's a ton of funny people on in the movie that make, you know, Robert Kelly, Joe Pera, CM Punk. Phil Brooks is in this movie. He was great. Just, you know, you're gonna love it. George McAuliffe. Yeah, he was very funny. He was very funny in his role. We had. We had a ton of. A ton of very funny people popping in. You're gonna love it. And it was just a fun dumb comedy. Please Check it out. And anything else you guys want to plug. Anything you know? No, nothing. It just the movie.

[Eldis Sula]

Watch that movie. Get to theaters.

[Stavros Halkias]

Get to theaters. Go see it date night. And don't forget, you do the popcorn trick. You send us the hollowed out popcorn bucket or the a hole in a popcorn bucket and a stub and you are entered to win a $40 gift card to Chili's.

[Wes Haney]

Maybe wrap it in a freezer Ziploc bag so I don't have to touch a buttery or jizzy box.

[Stavros Halkias]

Sure, maybe. Whatever. That's up to you. You know, whatever. Dealer's choice. But that's. That's our promise to you. Enter the but the but. Enter the the let's start a cult popcorn bucket challenge today. And when possibly up to you know we're going to change it in honor of the Buffalo Wild Wings at the hotel that we we stayed and we had dinner at once the cast. It will be $50 to Buffalo Wild Wings if you do the but the butter popcorn. Drink the butter at our movie. Thanks guys and we will see you next time. Bye bye.

[Daniel Simonson]

Thank you.

[Stavros Halkias]

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