Bonus #127 - Live Call Show Vol. 24 [PATREON PREVIEW]

Summary

Stavvy's World Podcast Summary

Episode: Bonus #127 - Live Call Show Vol. 24
Release Date: May 9, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias
Description: A podcast where you can hang out with your pal Stav, featuring weekly problem-solving sessions with Stavros Halkias and his friends. Listeners can join by calling 904-800-STAV and leaving a voicemail for advice.

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Caller Introduces the Issue

[00:00 - 00:50] A returning caller contacts the show to discuss a personal relationship dilemma. He explains that he and his girlfriend, both 22 years old and together for a year and a half, share a strong connection both emotionally and physically. However, he recently discovered that a month before their relationship began, his girlfriend had sex with a close friend of his from their mutual friend group.

Caller:
"Me and my girlfriend, we're 22. We've been together a year and a half and it's been going really great... but a month in, she told me that she had kissed him." [00:26 - 01:14]

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Hosts' Initial Reactions and Empathy

[01:16 - 04:35] Host 2 expresses sympathy, acknowledging the caller's feelings of jealousy and betrayal. He validates the caller's pain, emphasizing that it's a common experience among young adults navigating relationships and friendships.

Host 2:
"That's 22 year old problems right there, brother." [01:31]
"Every man on earth has an idea. This... you've all been through this." [04:19 - 04:35]

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Deep Dive into the Caller’s Emotional Turmoil

[04:36 - 12:03] The caller delves deeper into his feelings, explaining how the discovery has affected his trust in the friend group and his girlfriend. He feels like he's regressed emotionally, comparing his current state to feeling like a "virgin again."

Caller:
"I have that, like, virgin insecurity. Because... I feel like I'm back." [10:25 - 10:59]

Host 2 responds candidly, emphasizing that such feelings are natural but advises against letting jealousy sabotage the relationship. He shares his own experiences to relate and provide perspective.

Host 2:
"Life is pain. The life of a man is pain and disappointment over and over and over again. This is the first of many, motherfucker." [12:03]

---

Advice on Handling Jealousy and Relationship Dynamics

[12:04 - 17:48] The hosts offer blunt and straightforward advice. They suggest that the caller needs to process his feelings without letting them negatively impact his relationship. Host 1 introduces a more supportive angle, advising that if the jealousy becomes unmanageable, considering distancing from the friend group or even ending the relationship might be necessary.

Host 1:
"Either way, you're learning a very valuable life lesson that will seem so minuscule in the future." [14:02]

When the caller inquires about the possibility of threesomes to alleviate his insecurities, Host 2 firmly advises against it, stating that such measures won't resolve underlying issues and may complicate the relationship further.

Host 2:
"Would threesomes help your insecurity? No. But would it be sick? Yes." [16:13]

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Encouragement and Final Thoughts

[17:49 - End] The hosts conclude by reinforcing their support for the caller, encouraging him to focus on building a strong, trusting relationship with his girlfriend. They highlight the importance of personal growth and learning from such experiences, assuring him that these feelings will become less intense over time.

Host 2:
"We're yelling at our youngest, 21. I'm yelling at 21 year old St right now for sure." [19:44]
"You are learning a very valuable life lesson that will seem so minuscule in the future." [14:28]

The caller expresses gratitude, mentioning a recent positive experience with his girlfriend, which the hosts acknowledge positively, further emphasizing the importance of focusing on the present relationship.

Caller:
"I took her to see let's start a Cult. She thought it was great. So, yeah, she's awesome." [19:51 - 20:01]

Hosts bid farewell with supportive messages, reiterating their belief in the caller's ability to overcome his insecurities and strengthen his relationship.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Caller at [00:26]:
  "Me and my girlfriend, we're 22. We've been together a year and a half and it's been going really great... but a month in, she told me that she had kissed him."

• Host 2 at [12:03]:
  "Life is pain. The life of a man is pain and disappointment over and over and over again. This is the first of many, motherfucker."

• Host 2 at [16:13]:
  "Would threesomes help your insecurity? No. But would it be sick? Yes."

• Host 1 at [14:02]:
  "Either way, you're learning a very valuable life lesson that will seem so minuscule in the future."

• Host 2 at [19:44]:
  "We're yelling at our youngest, 21. I'm yelling at 21 year old St right now for sure."

---

Conclusion

In this emotionally charged episode of "Stavvy's World," the hosts Stavros Halkias and his friends provide candid and unfiltered advice to a young listener grappling with jealousy and trust issues within his relationship and friend group. They emphasize the importance of processing emotions, maintaining trust, and focusing on personal growth. While their advice is straightforward and sometimes harsh, it serves to push the caller towards self-reflection and healthier relationship dynamics.

This episode resonates with listeners navigating the complexities of young adulthood, offering both empathy and tough-love guidance to overcome personal insecurities and build stronger, more resilient relationships.

Transcript

[Caller]

Hello?

[Host 1]

What's up, dude? How's it going? You've, you've called in before, is that right?

[Caller]

Yeah, I was on the last one.

[Host 1]

Okay, remind us, remind us your issue and tell us what the, is going on now.

[Caller]

Yeah, I'll try to make it quick. Sorry, I'm just, I gotta step outside real quick.

[Host 2]

That's all right, dude, but so basically I'm.

[Caller]

Me and my girlfriend, we're 22. We've been together a year and a half and it's been going really great. Like we, you know, we just click on so many things. We eat whatever chemistry, we fuck a lot.

[Host 2]

Nice, nice.

[Caller]

She's really cool.

[Host 1]

Nice, cool.

[Host 2]

Tits. I'll bring her tits.

[Caller]

Yeah, she's got a great.

[Host 2]

That's good to hear.

[Caller]

Sorry, I'm rambling. I was like, I was getting worked up just like thinking about the whole thing again.

[Host 2]

Yeah, that's awesome.

[Caller]

Calling. But anyway, I, Long story short, I found out that a month before we had gotten together, she had had sex with a kind of close friend of mine.

[Host 2]

Tough one.

[Caller]

And yeah, it was just like, I don't know, like, I'm not that close with them, but like, I've known him longer than I've known her and like, I don't know, like, we're all kind of in the same friend group.

[Host 2]

Yeah, that's tough. That's 22 year old problems right there, brother.

[Caller]

Yeah, but so, yeah, I've just been, I've just been really fucked up about it. Just like in a jealousy kind of way, because, like, you know, like, I've, I get it. I messaged eldest. Can you guys bleep my name? I mean, like, I don't care. Like, this will probably help somebody, whatever.

[Host 2]

We definitely can bleep whatever you need, dude.

[Caller]

Okay, okay. But I mean, I, I, I've only had sex once before, like ever before. I, like we got together and like from the beginning, I was like head over heels. She's like perfect, great, you know, everything super sweet. But like a month in, she told me that she had kissed him. Like, I didn't even ask. She just, she had confessed that she had kissed him. They went on one day and she kissed him.

[Host 2]

But no, she gave me the half confession. That's the worst thing to do. You don't do the half confession. You either come clean or you take it to your fucking grave.

[Caller]

Yeah, and at the end, I feel like that's what, what really messed me up. Because like, I, I don't know, we were on, we were talking about something else. And I just randomly asked her. I was like, did you fuck him? And it was like, I just. Yeah, I just knew, you know?

[Host 2]

Of course, bro. I. Yes, I've been in this exact position. Finish your story. I'll tell you how. You just go ahead.

[Caller]

Yeah, sure, sure. But, yeah, and so I, you know, I found out a couple months ago. And like, that first week, it was like, all I thought about. Like, I would just think about them together. I would think about, like, what, like, just the shit they would say to each other, might have said to each other. And, like, I really tried to. To keep it to myself in a way because, like, she knew it. She could tell it, like, fucked me up. Just because, like, I. I'm sure you're.

[Host 2]

Doing a real good job. Just fucking stewing, just fucking out at a bar like, Red in, but go ahead.

[Caller]

Yeah. And I just started looking back at everything because, like, we. Like. Like, we. We'd even been. Been around this guy in the past, you know, year or so we've been dating. So, like, I've seen this guy, said hi to him, you know, whatever, and, like, we've been cool. Like, he hasn't been weird. And, like, I just. Yeah, I thought it was just a kiss that whole time, but, like, I don't know. I. Coincidentally, we've been, like, out of the friend group and since we've been dating just because we've been busy, you know, it's with, like, work and other stuff. But, like, now I'm thinking the whole thing is, like, maybe she's avoiding him. And I'm just wondering, like, how to even get back in the friend group, like, if I even want.

[Host 2]

You want to. I mean. All right, let's. Let's just start. Let's just. Let's just see what's going. So you. This has been going on for. So you've been dating her a while, though, right? Like, over. Over a year at this point?

[Caller]

Yeah, it's been pretty serious.

[Host 2]

Yeah. I mean, it's. Okay, look, here's what's going on. Look, dude, I hate to break it to you. She a cup she more than that guy. You know what I mean? Like, that's not the only guy she. You just happen to know a guy she. And that sucks.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Don't get me wrong. You don't want to know specifics. The less you know, the better. This is why. This is why you have no.

[Caller]

You have no idea.

[Host 2]

I have somebody. Believe me, bro, I have an idea. Here's the thing. I. That's the other thing. You need. You need to understand. I have an idea. Every man on earth has an idea. This. You are like, I know it sucks. I know this feels bad. We've all been through this in a. Like, I've had a situation where somebody that, like, you know, I wasn't even seriously dating. We were on again, off again, and there was a guy who was lurking, right? And I knew this guy wanted to fuck her. And I could tell. And. And then on one of our, like, back, you know, we're just hooking up, whatever, we're back on for a month or two, she, you know, lets it slip. She fucked this. And, you know, whatever you and I don't give a fuck, right? Like, I was like. Because I knew I was other people, she was other people. But just the fact that I could tell this fucking prick wanted to fuck her. And I sort of, you know, he was like a friend of a friend and she would always bring him up. And I'm like, I know what. I know what kind of guy this is. This guy's trying to fuck you. He's not nice, you know? You know what I mean? And then she ends up fucking him. And again, doesn't really matter to me. I knew what I was doing. We weren't exclusive and it wouldn't have bothered me if she fucked 10 other guys. But just the fact that it was a guy I knew pissed me the fuck off. And it made it. Honestly, it's not like we were ever going to be serious, but it was like I was like, this is too much for me to handle, as immature as I. I know it is.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

It just is right for you, though. I do think you're in a kind of different situation where it's like, look, dude, when you say you're in the friend group, you're fucking 22. You're just talking about a guy that went to the same college as you. Like, everyone's your fucking friend when you're 21. Like, this isn't like your fucking best friend secretly, this lady, it's a guy you had lunch with at the other end of a fucking 12 person table. You know what I mean? Like it. Generally speaking, all the. All that you're saying is that she hooked up with somebody in your general social circle for your age group, right? This. There's no real betrayal here. There's no real nothing. I mean, sure, the little, like the half confession is a little weird, but it's like you can also, if the tables were turned, you could see how that would be a little you know what I mean?

[Caller]

Like, yeah, like wanting to protect me or whatever.

[Host 2]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Caller]

Yeah, it's. It's more than just. I mean, fuck, it's more than just like a guy in our friend group, he was kind of like. He was kind of. He was like one of the first people I met and he really like, introduced me to everybody and. And he was like somebody I felt I could trust. And now it's like.

[Host 2]

But hold on.

[Caller]

I have no logical reason not to trust him.

[Host 2]

But that's what I'm saying.

[Caller]

I wasn't even in the picture. That's what still feel.

[Host 2]

Exactly. In some ways, it's this annoying thing where it's like two people you really like before they knew you had chemistry. That actually makes sense. You know what I mean? Like, you liked both of them, neither one of them knew you existed, and they had a fling. Right? They. Sure, that sucks. But it's like, this is life, brother. And the fact that there's no. You weren't in the picture. There was no. This is not affecting you at all. I get feeling fucked up about it because that's human and that's natural. But it's like, it is unfortunately something that you're gonna have to just get past. And look, maybe the way you get past it is by being in that friend group less. Right? That sucks a little bit. Like, maybe in some other universe, you and this guy could have been friend, you know, closer you were. You like him, you respect him, whatever. But it's like, that's okay if, like, your girl's like, hey, do you want to go get drinks with XX and X? Be like, you know what? I don't know. I'd rather not. You know what I mean? Like, that's okay. Especially if the rest of your relationship is. Is like really good. But I don't know, man. This is just. Unfortunately, this is normal. That literally everybody goes through.

[Host 1]

Yeah. This is like an important lesson of, like, youth of your early 20s. It's like, you know, right now, I mean, I'm just thinking of myself back then.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

I. You even. Even if, you know, it's irrational, you know, it's not right. And you, you know, like two, you're the girl you're currently dating and the guy you made friends with in college, like, fucked before they met you. You know, it has nothing to do with you, but you're like, so raw with emotion at 22 years old that you just can't ignore. I mean, I know you're obsessing about it. You're Just thinking of them fucking. You're like, oh, fuck.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Host 1]

Fuck. I'm so stupid. He's such a cool, awesome guy. Yeah, he was awesome with her, too. And he got pussy.

[Caller]

Like, he's. It's like. And it just makes me madder because, like, I know, like, he's a loser. Like, it doesn't. You know, she doesn't like him. Like.

[Host 2]

Right.

[Caller]

You know, obviously, she. You know, she didn't.

[Host 2]

Right.

[Caller]

You got it. You know, I think you gotta. But, like, I. I kept talking about it so much, and she, like, it just. She was really patient with me. But, like, no, there's a limit.

[Host 2]

There's a limit.

[Caller]

Yeah. I asked. I asked way too many questions that I just.

[Host 2]

Oh, no, dude, the question.

[Host 1]

Of course you did. Of course.

[Caller]

It just, like.

[Host 2]

I don't know. I didn't want to ask. I was just, like, pissed if.

[Host 1]

If this was in college, this was when you were, like, actually getting your. On when you're a loser, you're right.

[Host 2]

The first piece of.

[Host 1]

I guess it's like, you're like, what do you feel? Betrayed. Even though it's not a betrayal, but.

[Caller]

It'S also, like, kind of. I. I feel weird segueing into this, but it kind of feels like I'm back. Like, back that high school. Like, virgin. I feel like a virgin again. Like, that title because. Because, like, you know, just the classic. Like. Like, you know, like your crush has been fucking some dude that's already graduated or whatever. Like, some older guys already been there. And I'm like. I'm like, fuck, I'm just a kid. Like, I feel like a kid now. And, like.

[Host 2]

But, dude, that's okay.

[Caller]

I need to catch up in a weird way.

[Host 2]

Here's the thing.

[Caller]

But, like, there's no. I know. There's no getting even.

[Host 2]

There's. There's no getting even. There's no doing anything about it. Bro, here's the thing. Feel this. Let it go through you. Be pissed. Don't take it out on your girl and just. Eventually this will go. This will just, like, get out of your system. I know it feels impossible, right? But there is no solution other than break up with her and fuck ten other girls.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

You know what I mean? And you don't want that. You like this girl.

[Caller]

And that's the. Well, and that's the other thing. I mean, she's literally the. She's the perfect person for me. Like, especially, like, where we're at.

[Host 2]

I mean, look, I'm gonna. Listen, you're hurting.

[Caller]

She's on Birth control.

[Host 2]

Okay. There we go. Yeah. Okay. All right, I'm back, I'm back.

[Caller]

I'm back three ways.

[Host 2]

Okay. All right, all right, all right, all right. So shut the upper.

[Caller]

I know. I'm sorry. It's. It's. I'm like. It's. It's payback for being a fucking virgin.

[Host 2]

All high school, there's. Listen, listen. It's not payback. You're not important enough for the universe to be punishing that. That helped me a lot. I used to say shit like that. I used to be like, oh, shit's gonna start going bad when my life is good. No, I'm meaningless. You're meaningless, too. No one was trying to hurt you. This just happened. And. And you're in a great position. And here's the thing. You're 22. You know how you stop being a fucking gay virgin? You fucking suck it up and admit the girl you fucked fuck somebody else. You keep fucking her, and then maybe she sucks your dick while another girl sucks your dick at the same time and shut the fuck up. Life is pain. The life of a man is pain and disappointment over and over and over again. This is the first of many, motherfucker. So just get used to it. You're in a better spot than most. Because you know what usually happens? The girl you like fucks another guy, and guess what? She keeps fucking him. She fucked this loser. Doesn't. Doesn't want anything to do with him. Once you. You're just gonna. And, bro, I hate to. We gotta be your big brothers here. Shut the fuck up. This is life. You will. This is nothing. You will look back at this. You will look back at this when you're our age and laugh. I'm thinking about girls I used to fucking cry about. I. I have been destroyed so much harder, so much more often. Not just romantically, professionally, personally, in any way you can think of. You will. You will hurt so much more. And there will be no pussy consolation prize either for that. So just get used to it, man.

[Host 1]

Absolutely. I'll play good cop here a little bit. I will. I will say even, you know, you're 22. You're going through all this. I'll even say if you just can't get this out, out of your head, there's nothing wrong with removing yourself from the friend group. Or even if, like, it's all you can see and think about when you're spending time with her, it's okay to just, like, break it off with her if, like, you really, truly.

[Host 2]

That's the nuclear option, that's the red bug.

[Host 1]

You, like, can't get over it, and that's fine. But, you know one. Either way, you're. You are learning a very valuable life lesson that will seem so minuscule in the future. Like Stav says, like, you will look back on it and laugh at, like, what a pussy you are. And that's not because you're a bad guy, just because everyone's kind of a dumb pussy. Like, when they're in their early 20s.

[Host 2]

It's the way you laugh about now, the way you laugh about, like, when you had too much fucking chocolate milk and threw up in fourth grade. Like, these are the problems of a baby. Yeah, that's okay, man. I know they feel real serious right now, but, like, you're in a good spot. That's nothing you can do. And this is just. It's like food poisoning, man. This has to leave your system. And, you know, like Elda said, there's different ways you can do that. The. The. The easiest one or the smallest one is just, like, you know, remove yourself from the friend group. Don't hang out with this fucking guy that reminds you the worst one being. Break up with this girl. I don't think you want that. And just. And again, you just can't take this out on her anymore, though, because she also has a limit, and you've passed that limit. It's very clear. So be pissed by yourself. Don't let it ruin your relationship. And, you know, just get ready for way more of this feeling. And here's the good news. It will never feel it. It will. It will be worse, but it won't feel as bad. You'll deal with, like, such tragedy. That won't affect you the way this affects you. So that's the silver lining. This is the greatest pain you're registering, even though it's very minor.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yes. Yeah. No, it's definitely just a learning experience. And the last thing I want is to let, like, my insecurity fudgeing jeopardize the relationship thing just because I'm jealous. But last quick little side question. So do you think, like. Do you think, like. Like, threesomes or, like, an open type thing would, like, help my insecurity? Because, like, I. I feel like. I. I feel like a. I. I have that, like, virgin insecurity.

[Host 2]

It's not. No, no. You stop. You can't keep. You've gotten. She's just.

[Caller]

She's more.

[Host 2]

She.

[Caller]

It feels like she's more, like, just emotionally mature. Well, she just is the experiences. I mean.

[Host 2]

Yeah, it's not the experience. Not because she's a couple more people. It's because she just is more mature than you. Like, that's. It's a personality trait. It's not the fact that more Janet, she's seen more genitals. So that's just. You're just on different paths. Would threesomes help your insecurity? No. But would it be sick? Yes. So here's the other thing, man. Just live your life and do as many awesome things as possible. That's the age you're at. Worry about. Worry about, you know, fixing your. The way you fix this, like, in general, insecurity is just by living your life, man. Don't be trying to directly. Don't be trying to directly fix it. Um, and I'll be honest with you, you know, me and Els were both fucking guys that didn't fuck until late. And once you fuck, it's. You fucked. There's no more. There's nothing more to do, bro. So I think just what you need to do is keep fucking your girlfriend. If she's offering up threesomes, you're. Look, I know you fucking love this girl, but statistically, it's not going to work out. So have as much cool.

[Caller]

That's what I'm saying.

[Host 2]

Have as much cool shit happen to you as possible.

[Caller]

That's why it's got me second gu. Guessing everything. Because I like, I know statistically, whatever, you know, like.

[Host 2]

But again, look, and that might not be true, right? I say that, but people figure it out and who knows? Whatever. But I'm just saying, do I push?

[Caller]

Do I push the threesome thing?

[Host 2]

You don't push. You don't push. You go along for the ride. You don't have the. You, You're. You're still worried about some guy she. You think you've got the swag to push it.

[Host 1]

You sit. You sit back and relax. Don't. Don't push it with your spazzy energy and don't try to make it as like, well, you. This guy we both know. So owe me a threesome.

[Host 2]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host 1]

Don't, don't. Don't let any of that energy leak out, because I know you're thinking it.

[Host 2]

Absolutely. Don't let that leak out. So what do you do? Here's the thing. You are fucking up because you are trying to be someone you're not. She likes who you are. You're not going to become Rico Suave in this fucking relationship. You're not going to be the fucking big pussy getter. Lothario.

[Caller]

You're.

[Host 2]

You got the best setup. You're the fucking dweeb who's dating a hot bitch that might get him pussy. Be happy to be in the passenger seat. Don't try and fucking ride because your fucking feet aren't going to reach the pedals. That's where you need to be. Be happy with where you are. You're in a great position. Look at the fucking positives. But don't try and push this. Just invest in this relationship. And sure, we can say this statistical shit, whatever, but we know that's not how it feels. And also, we might be wrong. This might end up being a really good serious relationship. It happens all the time, right? So just go along with the flow. Have a good time. Don't overthink things. You gotta let this fucking pass this jealousy and if. And chase as much cool stuff. But the way you get it is not by pushing for it. It's by being a good partner who she has such a good time with that she wants to do a lot of fun stuff with. All right, all right, all right, buddy.

[Caller]

Yeah, that's.

[Host 2]

We love you. We believe in you. We've been where you are. Sorry to have to really drop the hammer on you, but you needed to hear this from us men who have gone through exactly this again.

[Host 1]

Every time we go on the diet tribe like this, we're not with you.

[Host 2]

We're yelling at our youngest, 21. I'm yelling at 21 year old St right now for sure.

[Caller]

But yeah, I. I appreciate you guys. Thank you. And. And by the way, like, yeah, she is awesome. We do fun stuff. I took her to see let's start a Cult. She.

[Host 2]

Hell yeah.

[Caller]

Thought it was great. So, yeah, she's.

[Host 2]

I love it. No, you're in a good. You're in a good spot, dude. All right, good luck, little buddy.

[Host 1]

Good luck, man.

[Caller]

Thanks.

[Host 1]

Wow, that's tough, man.

[Host 2]

That takes me back.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

I'm like, dude, that's awesome that a woman can never do that to me ever again. No woman will make me feel as bad as that. As that. As. By the way, a girl who likes him.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

A girl who loves him and who just happened to fuck a guy before she knew him. What a fucking little dumbass.

[Host 1]

I know.

[Host 2]

But I'm so happy that I've been crushed so thoroughly by life. I'll never be that sad.

[Host 1]

Your heart is fully calloused over from experiences dealing with that multiple times throughout your 20s and just trying to cover up the hurt by as many as possible.

[Host 2]

We're almost. I think I've almost enough. Elvis, Any day now, it'll solve everything. Yeah. That's awesome. Who else we got, man?