Stavvy's World - Bonus #136: Live Call Show Vol. 27 [Patreon Preview]

Release Date: July 10, 2025

In this bonus episode of "Stavvy's World," host Stavros Halkias engages in a raw and emotionally charged live call with a distressed listener seeking guidance on navigating a tumultuous long-distance relationship. This in-depth conversation delves into themes of trust, emotional abuse, self-worth, and the complexities of ending a significant relationship. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing all key points, discussions, insights, and conclusions from the episode.

1. Introduction to the Caller and Relationship Background

Timestamp: [00:00 – 00:31]

The episode kicks off with Caller A sharing the recent end of a two-year relationship, out of which one and a half years were long-distance, spanning a six-hour drive apart.

• Caller A: "I've been dating this guy. Well, now it's over, but for about two years. Long distance for about a year and a half of that." (00:00 – 00:15)
• Host B: "Yeah. So barely. You were barely dating a guy, but I'm sorry. Go ahead." (00:15 – 00:21)

A reflects on the relationship's longevity, expressing surprise at staying together under long-distance conditions: "Which in hindsight is crazy." (00:15)

2. Escalation of Issues and Emotional Turmoil

Timestamp: [00:31 – 02:33]

As the conversation progresses, A reveals that the relationship deteriorated significantly in the last six to eight months, leading to emotional spiraling and feelings of dysregulation.

• Caller A: "It has gotten just insane in the last, like, six to eight months. And I'm just, like, totally spiraling." (00:31)

A begins to unpack deeper emotional challenges, including past trauma from high school:

• Caller A: "I was assaulted in high school and, like, eventually was just decided to, like, hook up with some people when I was, like, just about 21 to try and get over, like, that trauma." (02:00)

3. Discovery of Infidelity and Emotional Manipulation

Timestamp: [03:37 – 05:37]

A recounts a pivotal moment when she discovered a love note from her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend in his backpack, revealing ongoing emotional ties despite the breakup.

• Caller A: "It was this long posted note. You're my future. You make me feel complete. I have never felt this way about someone before. It's overwhelming, but in a really good way." (04:23)

This revelation leads to the realization of her boyfriend's infidelity, prompting feelings of betrayal and diminished self-worth.

• Host B: "This guy that made you prove your sexual worth is cheating on you..." (04:40)
• Caller A: "I feel so. Just stupid and like unworthy, which I know is dumb." (05:49)

4. Host’s Critical Response and Advice

Timestamp: [04:40 – 13:13]

Host B responds with a mix of empathy and harsh truths, emphasizing the need for immediate action to exit the abusive relationship.

• Host B: "You have to get out of this as soon as possible." (11:23)
• Host B: "Don't do this alone. Make this like a trip you do with your friends where you have a plan." (12:55)

B highlights the abusive dynamics at play, including emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and the partner's ongoing infidelity.

• Host B: "This is textbook abuse. Walking on eggshells, the highs, the lows, that's pretty textbook abuse." (10:26)

5. Deep Dive into Abusive Dynamics and Personal Growth

Timestamp: [07:00 – 13:13]

The discussion delves deeper into the cycle of shame and projection inflicted by the boyfriend, drawing parallels to previous podcast episodes on similar topics.

• Host B: "This is clearly the kind of guy who's been very good at manipulating you and you don't even want to give him the shot at trapping you in another hot and cold, you know, thing." (05:37)

B underscores the importance of therapy and self-reflection to overcome the psychological impacts of the abusive relationship.

• Host B: "You definitely need to go to therapy. You definitely need to understand why this works on you." (13:13)

6. Practical Steps for Moving Forward

Timestamp: [11:20 – 16:40]

B offers concrete advice on how A should handle the logistics of ending the long-distance relationship, including retrieving personal belongings safely.

• Host B: "Don't be alone with this guy. Don't catch up. None of that happens. Make this like a trip you do with your friends where you have a plan." (12:55)

Emphasizing community support, B humorously promises financial assistance for moving logistics, reinforcing the show's supportive environment.

• Host B: "If you need money for a U haul, Elvis will Venmo you from the company account." (16:43)

7. Resolution and Emotional Support

Timestamp: [16:40 – 17:23]

As the call concludes, A expresses gratitude for the support received, while B reiterates unwavering support and encourages A to update the community post-recovery.

• Caller A: "Thank you, Stabby." (17:13)
• Host B: "Good luck, McBitch. We believe in you." (17:13)

Key Takeaways

1. Recognizing Abuse: The episode lays bare the subtle and overt signs of emotional abuse, including manipulation, gaslighting, and infidelity.
2. Importance of Self-Worth: A central theme is the impact of abusive relationships on an individual's self-esteem and the necessity of reclaiming one's sense of worth.
3. Support Systems: Emphasizes the critical role of friends, community support, and professional therapy in healing from abusive relationships.
4. Practical Exit Strategies: Offers actionable advice on safely ending toxic relationships, especially long-distance ones, highlighting the importance of not handling such breaks alone.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Emotional Impact of Discovery:

  "Make a bitch. What are we even talking about? This is insane. This guy that made you prove your sexual worth is cheating on you..." (04:40)

• Advice on Therapy and Personal Growth:

  "You definitely need to go to therapy. You definitely need to understand why this works on you." (13:13)

• Encouragement and Solidarity:

  "Good luck, McBitch. We believe in you." (17:13)

Conclusion

This episode of "Stavvy's World" serves as a powerful exploration of the intricacies involved in abusive long-distance relationships. Through Caller A's vulnerable narrative and Host B's forthright advice, listeners gain valuable insights into identifying red flags, the importance of self-worth, and actionable steps to extricate oneself from toxic dynamics. The episode underscores the significance of community support and professional help in overcoming personal relationship challenges.

Note: The timestamps provided correspond to the conversation flow within the transcript, enhancing the reader's ability to reference specific parts of the discussion.