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A
I'll call you Dirty Placebo. Are you there?
B
Yeah, what's up? I won't say your first name unless.
A
You don't give a dirty.
B
Oh, I don't give a. But either way, man.
A
All right, well, we'll stick to Dirty Placebo. What's up, Dirty Placebo? You sound defeated right off the bat.
B
Oh, dude, I feel defeated. So I'm having sex with a member of my family.
A
No. All right, relax.
B
Just want to put that out there.
A
What do you mean? Not a blood related member.
B
Correct. Different race, even.
A
So, okay, well, we didn't need that, but.
B
Okay, so, like, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 26. I was homeschooled and. Yeah, I know not. I wasn't even around members that weren't my family until high school, right? And when I was 11 years old, this woman walked through my door, and, dude, it, like, skyrocketed me into puberty.
A
Stepmom or what?
B
Huh?
A
Stepmother. What are we talking. Who's this person?
B
So she's married to. Well, was married to one of my cousins.
A
Okay, so, okay, before we go into this, which is fascinating, can you give us a little background? You said you were homeschool. What are we talking, religious nuts? What's your family?
B
Yeah, pretty much.
A
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
B
Tiny town, the middle of nowhere.
A
And you said you didn't see people outside of your family till you were like, 10 or 11. Is that right?
B
Just the neighbors. Until high school.
A
Till high school. What?
B
So, yeah.
A
You never went to a restaurant? You never. Like, everything's. Be everything.
B
I mean, like, we didn't talk to anyone. Like, we were shy kids, you know?
A
Sure, sure, sure. What was. What's the celebration looking like? What's a birthday party looking like in a. With your family all, you know, a weird. A weird. I'm gonna guess Christian. Some kind of subset. What do you guys do to celebrate? What's. What kind of birthday cake are you having?
B
That was pretty normal. My mom was kind of like health person, so she made pretty bombass cakes, the homemade cakes and stuff.
A
Okay, health person. Interesting. Interesting. Okay. Fun. And I'm assuming no. No alcohol, no nothing. Or did your dad.
B
It was like a glass of wine, you know, for them. That was kind of it.
A
Gotcha. And they. And where'd you go? You went to a church or they like, you even worshiped at home?
B
Oh, no, it wasn't like. I don't know, it was kind of crazy. I don't know. But yeah, it was pretty crazy, I guess. But no, we went to a church.
A
Okay.
B
When my parents weren't screaming at each other.
A
Gotcha. Interesting.
B
Who's late?
A
Interesting. Okay. What? And is it talking in tongues type shit or what? Or just like evangelical dude?
B
Just some. Just some typical conservative, like, gay people are the devil.
A
Right.
B
Everything's the devil. Wasn't allowed to watch Disney movies because, you know, magic and that's the devil. And oh, wow, everything's devil. Like, no Christian music because that shit's the devil. And devil, devil, devil, devil's everywhere.
A
Okay. So. Okay. Sorry. Well, that's fascinating. You can't watch Disney movies. What? What are you watching? Veggie Tales or is that the devil too?
B
Of course. Larry and Bob.
A
Veggie tails. Okay. Hell yeah. Interesting. Interesting.
B
Okay, Bible cartoons on vhs.
A
Okay. Bible cartoons. Sick. Okay, interesting.
B
Super sick.
A
All right, all right, cool. And so now you're 11 and your cousin's wife walks in and she's. You said different race. Is this a mail order bride situation? What is this?
B
No, like, she's. The only other race that's around here is living in the middle of nowhere in tiny little Oregon slash Idaho town. She's Mexican.
A
Nice. Hell yeah. So you're immediately. And were you jacking off like we. No Internet, or did you figure out how to jack off?
B
I finally did when, like, what was those dial up days, dude?
A
Wow.
B
Like. But yeah, I had to freaking get the family computer and, you know, hide away in my shame corner.
A
Sure.
B
Download some, you know, old pictures that took forever to load and.
A
Yep. Okay, interesting. And so you said dial up because I had dial up too. Are you third. Are you in your third mid-30s or your family just poor.
B
37.
A
Okay. So we're about the same and we're both. We both grew up poor, so we had dial up. Other people our age are like, probably had, like, even you had. You had fios fast, didn't you? I think we had dial up for a while, but we actually got some high speed. Okay, dude. All right, nice. So now. So that was when you were like 12 though, right? This woman walks into your life.
B
Yeah, like 11 or 12. And dude, like, she's.
A
So now we're talk. When he fought 26 years later.
B
Yeah.
A
Nice. Hell yeah.
B
I know.
A
Hell yes, dude.
B
When I, like when I made her come a couple times and then she like, she messaged me later and she's like, that's the best sex I ever had. That was just like, oh, man.
A
Okay.
B
All right.
A
We just took a hum. We just took a. A quarter century time jump. So what happens between you're 11 and she comes in and now you're 37? Like, give us the whole. How did we get here?
B
Well, well, that take forever. But like, basically, as she walks the door, I remember exactly what she was wearing, everything. But yeah, like, she was just hung out with my sister a little bit. She didn't really have friends in the area, even though my sister was way younger and I was just like obsessed, you know?
A
Okay, hold on, hold on. I'm sorry. So you met her as your sister's friend or your cousin's wife?
B
My cousin's wife. But like, there's no one, no one around, you know, and since she was family, I guess she was like allowed to hang out with us.
A
Right, right, right. Okay, interesting. So she's around. She's your cousin's wife. And. And then. But you don't. The first time you hook up is not until recently.
B
Oh, yeah, this just happened a couple weeks ago.
A
Oh, nice, dude. Hell yeah. Okay, so. So basically did she get. So. Okay, so she's hanging around.
B
She.
A
She's this constant presence in your otherwise very sheltered life. And. And that. But you don't even consider that you can, you can her, right?
B
Oh, just when I'm, you know, having my fantasies.
A
You're jacking off. Of course.
B
All right, interesting.
A
And then. Okay, so what the. What happens in between? Do you move away? Like, you. You clearly have reconnected recently, but what does your life look like from the time you're an 11 year old watching Veggie Tales, beating off to your cousin's wife? Did you. Did you leave? Did you get to other people, go to school? What did you do?
B
Yeah, some of that stuff. A few years later I had brain surgery and like, oh, my whole life got turned upside down and right when I went to high school and whole thing. And so I kind of lost connection with her. And then she got divorced and. Yeah, just many years went by and then I saw her at a restaurant, sitting at the bar and hell yeah, dude, we reconnected and.
A
Oh yes, dude. Yeah, you picked up your. Your cousin's ex wife at a Applebee's bar.
B
Well, way better than that. My childhood fantasy man. Yeah, yeah, the cousin's ex wife. Like, and like, I didn't even realize how much that shape means. I'm like, well, I married a Latina woman that looks similar. Her first name even began with the same letter. And then we got divorced. Five years later, I married another Latino woman, also first name. Dude. I know.
A
Damn.
B
I know. I don't even realize that you're getting.
A
Married back to back.
B
Well, no, there are a couple years in between there, but.
A
All right. Respect, dude. Very nice. Okay, so this is fascinating. So you pick her up. You guys just. You just see her at a. At a bar. You just go up to her and you're like, hey, it's me. The. The child from that was clearly horny around you.
B
Well, so, like, she says she had no idea, but. No, I was with a buddy of mine, and he. He knew her too. And then he messaged her and was like, hey, you should come hang out. And then I kind of broke down the situation for him before she got there. Like, dude, if you help me hook up with her, I will owe you forever. Forever.
A
Oh, so your buddy's win Wing. He's your wingman. Okay, so this is awesome. All right. And just out of curiosity, what's the age difference? Is she, like, 10 years older?
B
Yep, exactly.
A
Nice. Perfect. This is awesome. All right, so now. So you guys hook up. This is incredible. And. And so you're at this bar, and you're just like. You're just. It just works. Like, how quickly after this bar do you guys hook up?
B
Oh, no, that was just like a. Like, a few minutes. And then my buddy was messaging her and said, hey, you should come over and hang out. And then she came over and hung out. And then we just was kind of chilling, like, looking at the stars. I went full redneck and drugged my couch out there and, like, chilling, look at the stars. And then we went back inside, and he. He was a good wingman. He was like, I'm gonna go to bed. And then her and I are like, I don't know, give her a massage and da, da, da. Physical. And then we don't hook up then and there, but, like, the next day, we hang out.
A
Platonic massage after gazing at the stars. That's fucking.
B
Well, it wasn't that platonic.
A
I mean, interesting respect.
B
Yeah. And then, I don't know, we start, like, a few days go by or something. And I was thinking. I was. I was texting where she wasn't responding. Well, apparently she wasn't getting the text. Like, I have an Android. She has an iPhone. And anyhow, so we end up, like, talking. And I had gotten drunk a few years back and messaged her some stuff.
A
Oh, back in the day. Does she uncover your old fucking dms?
B
Well, no. Like, just a couple years ago, I. Well, it wasn't even a couple years ago. It was like, a year ago. And me and my wife split up. I went through a phase of drinking, you know, like half a gallon of whiskey a night. And you know, there's some messages there. Told her how sexy I thought you.
A
Were shooting your shot drunk as a year ago. And she still you. That's incredible. This woman's life must be in shambles as well.
B
And like, also I've been like, really working on myself lately. So, like, I. I look pretty good and like, been really taking fitness seriously. And I think that helped.
A
Definitely helps. Are you kidding me? And that's again, again, folks, for. For a little incels listening. This is a. This is a. A cured incel podcast. It's a former insult podcast. You could be. You can have had. You can have not only had brain surgery, but also soaked your brain in whiskey for after two divorces. And as long as you foging hit the gym a little bit and are direct about what you want, you could still get pussy, folks. That's a. You're. You're an inspiration to a lot of people out there, buddy. So now what's the problem? Are you. Are you having an 8? What's the issue here? I'm kind of confused, so.
B
Well, the issue is like, so when we hooked up and like, we're actually hanging out, I thought she was. So I live in a really, really conservative area. Like, fuck Trump flags everywhere. I'm like deep behind enemy lines and that. That's not my thing.
A
Yeah.
B
But I just assumed because she was always had horses and cowgirls, like, this is gonna be a quick hookup thing. And then I was gonna be kind of not disgusted, but, like, disappointed in her personality. She's like everyone else around here. That's not the case at all.
A
Okay.
B
We started talking and she's telling me about like, you know, I said something about, you know, I got drunk at the gay bar and I'd make out a dude just because it's kind of fun. Like, I was not like sexually kind of fun fun. The.
A
Are you talking about? But go ahead.
B
Huh?
A
I like to have fun too, man, but I don't get drunk and make out. It's fine if you're bicurious or whatever the. But anyway, go ahead.
B
Well, yeah, I mean, both those true.
A
But yeah, okay, I guess you're right. Go ahead.
B
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, so like that allowed her to open up and she's like, oh, yeah, I've like had some three sums. And like, eventually, like, once she realizes I'm not like judgment piece of shit like most people around here, she's like, yeah, hooked up with a trans person. And I'm like, holy fuck. Like, this is actually like rounded out individual who doesn't just like put on their red hat.
A
You're two examples by the way of being around that. You're a fucking pervert. Your two examples are kissing dudes for fun and fucking a trans person. Both of which are cool. We're not against. It's just hilarious. It's just hilarious how horny you are. But go ahead.
B
Oh, dude. Yeah, ridiculous. So. And that kind of plays in this too. Like, so I finally like in decent shape and like, you know, I didn't lose my virginity like since I was 26. And then when I finally did, like, I got married and then I got divorced and then I got married again.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, I've never had the whoring days that like a lot of my friends had, you know?
A
Sure.
B
And so like. And I didn't even know. You know, when you grow up watching porn and like you don't like you sell these massive fucking and like you're like, oh, shit, like my shit's not that good.
A
Sure.
B
Apparently like it actually fucking is. It's just not like crazy porn good. But like, apparently I'm a pretty good like good sized dick. And I didn't know that.
A
Congrats.
B
And so now I'm like, well, I'm looking good. I got this good dick on me. Like I kind of want to around a little, you know.
A
Sure. So your big problem is you finally caught the woman you're obsessed with and you like her and you're compatible with her socially and sexually, but you want to other women.
B
Well, it's not just that, like I men falling for her and like the family dynamics, like, right. I don't feel like we could be together. And also like you said, I'm horny. And like she's 10 years older, man. You know, like, she looks fucking great for 47, but I mean, not to be super shallow, but you know, there's. The clock's ticking, you know. And again, I know that sounds kind of fucked up, but by the way, dude, fucking not that attached to her yet.
A
Former former alcoholic white trash versus Latina. The clocks, the clock's ticking. But it's ticking a lot faster for you, buddy.
B
I'll say that I'm not like that anymore. Like I used to be like that, but I'm.
A
It puts a mic. Listen, bro, I'm also trying. I'm 37 there. Like, look, all I'm saying is I'm sure, you're doing great. I'm just saying like. And look, that's valid. I'm not going to sit here and tell you a 10 year age difference is invalid. I'm just saying, you know, if we really. If I were to bet right, Just knowing you two, not knowing anything about you two, who is going to look better in 10 years just as a betting man, I would take a Latina over a, over a guy who's only recently gotten his life together and is, you know, one failed threesome away from hitting the bottle again or whatever the fudge. You know what I'm saying? Go ahead.
B
No, just to be fair, like I actually, despite drinking like I actually eat really fucking healthy pretty much always.
A
Okay, okay, well whatever.
B
I exercise regularly. I pretty much always have.
A
I'm just busting your balls. That's. That's neither here nor there, to be honest with you. That's. That is, that is. And that's a, that's a, that's a valid point that you're saying. Whatever. So what, so are you trying to like, does she want a relationship or what's going on here? What, what is the. What is the. I mean, I see, I hear. Go ahead.
B
So like I just wanted to, right? And she just wanted to. And then I'm actually like, well this chick's actually dope. And I think she was thinking that I'm kind of dope. And like I, I said at one point I was like, do we have a conversation about what this is? You know, like the dynamic of this? And she's like, we're. That's it. I'm like, cool. Okay, well then like I up dude. And I broke the like the golden rule of we're. Don't make it about more. And like I'm talking to her about like, like just some like gay ass relationship stuff, you know, like, like talking about oh we should like get this, this place together for a couple days and like what do you. Few days together and like you should help me start this business and you could be a great salesperson for it.
A
The are you talking about?
B
Basically.
A
Okay, I see the. Okay, stop, stop, stop. The problem is you everything up and you feel bad about it. That's the problem. And now you have to realize like do you want this stuff? Was this just heat of the moment stuff? Because you. Let me tell you the other thing, dude. You're. You want to around. You want to do whatever. You found the woman who might just be into fuck. She might be in having threesomes and fucking People together and who knows? Dude, you said all this stuff, right, about wanting her in your life. You both sound like non traditional people that might be into having an open relationship, at least for a time, right? And you don't know.
B
Yeah, but we broke the subject. Like she, she says something about like, yeah, if we were to see each other, like I'd want you all to myself. Like, oh fuck.
A
Well, look, dude, I don't mean to cut you off, but basically you had a good thing, you got overzealous, you said some shit you didn't mean, and now you feel bad because you know what the answer is? The answer is be apologizing for overstepping. And probably your options are either have this relationship and see where it ends up or the only when you walk back, something like, let's file a 1090, let's file an S corp to get. When you walk back, like let's start a business and get a place for the weekend. You, you can't really get back to. We're just you. Once you make that, you have up because you have taken it from. You've basically erased the possibility of it ever being like truly casual again. And you have to decide like, hey, sorry, I up. I don't, I'm not ready for this. And look, you gave, you gave good reasons. I'll be honest with you. You know what I mean? Like I was divorced twice. I never really got to. Whatever. Those are your reasons. Some people might, you know, you don't, you don't have to bring up the 10 year age gap. You could just say, look, I up. I do really like you, but I'm not, I don't want to. I've made mistakes with my last. I've got married too quick. Whatever you want to say, you have your reasons. You're probably not going to be able to go back to just fucking. Maybe you might be able to get a couple weird hookups when you're both desperate. But realistically, you did fuck up a good thing because she seemed to be content with just fucking and you wanted that too. You say, although, look, I'll be honest with you. You might actually just like her and you might also just be mad about that because you want to be a little slut. But you don't really have it in you because you fudgeing, you know, fell in love with this woman who now it's, it's complicated because she's also your cousin's ex wife. That's fudgeing weird. And now you're like, you know, you might be kicked out of the fudge in the, you know, the, like the church or the tent. The tent. Snake charming church services or whatever the fuck you're going to. So.
B
And like, both. Both things are basically true. And, like, having this period now, like, I don't have any kids, and, like, I. This area is just. It's killing me, man. And there's. I don't know, there's part of me that just has this fantasy about, like, my dad moved to Hawaii a couple years ago, and he's like, hey, you should build a place behind mine. And I'm like, we don't even have time to get, like, grabbing her and, like, just taking off.
Release Date: July 31, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias
In this bonus episode of "Stavvy's World," host Stavros Halkias engages in a candid and emotionally charged live call with a listener grappling with complex personal and familial issues. The conversation delves deep into themes of upbringing, sexual identity, familial relationships, and the challenges of forming meaningful connections later in life.
Caller B begins by sharing his unconventional upbringing, highlighting his homeschooling experience in a highly conservative and religious family. This sheltered environment limited his interactions outside the family unit until high school and significantly delayed his sexual experiences.
B describes a strict household where typical childhood activities were replaced with rigid religious practices. His mother prioritized health, crafting homemade cakes without any alcohol, and the family avoided mainstream media, including Disney movies and secular music.
At the age of 11, B's sheltered life took an unexpected turn when his cousin's wife, a Mexican woman, moved into their home. This encounter ignited his early sexual curiosity and set the stage for future complexities.
B recalls the profound impact she had on him during puberty, leading to a lifelong preoccupation with her presence in his life.
Fast forward to adulthood, B reconnects with his childhood fascination when he encounters his cousin's ex-wife at a restaurant. This meeting blossoms into a romantic and sexual relationship, despite a significant age difference and existing familial ties.
B shares how mutual interests and improved personal circumstances, including sobriety and physical fitness, facilitated their rekindled connection.
As B's relationship with his cousin's ex-wife develops, several issues surface. The conservative environment they reside in, coupled with their complex familial relationship, creates tension and uncertainty about the future of their relationship.
B expresses concerns about their compatibility and the sustainability of their relationship, especially given the age gap and societal expectations.
Stavros Halkias offers his perspective, emphasizing the importance of clear communication and self-awareness. He advises B to reflect on his true desires and the implications of his actions, particularly regarding the delicate balance between personal fulfillment and familial responsibilities.
Stavros encourages B to consider the long-term consequences of his relationship choices and to prioritize emotional honesty over fleeting desires.
The episode concludes with B acknowledging the complexity of his situation, recognizing the need for introspection and possibly redefining his relationships to align with his true self and values. The conversation underscores the intricate interplay between upbringing, personal growth, and the pursuit of meaningful connections.
Stavros wraps up by reinforcing the importance of B's journey towards self-improvement and the courage required to navigate such challenging personal landscapes.
Impact of Upbringing: B’s conservative and restrictive upbringing significantly influenced his social interactions and delayed his sexual experiences.
Early Sexualization: The presence of his cousin's wife during his formative years led to long-term sexual fantasies and complexities in adult relationships.
Reconnecting with the Past: Reestablishing a relationship with his cousin's ex-wife brought both fulfillment and new challenges, highlighting the blurred lines between familial bonds and romantic interests.
Personal Growth and Self-Reflection: B’s journey through alcoholism, divorce, and fitness underscores the importance of self-improvement in overcoming personal hurdles.
Navigating Complex Relationships: The conversation emphasizes the need for clear communication and self-awareness when dealing with intricate relationship dynamics.
This episode of "Stavvy's World" offers a profound exploration of personal struggles, the lingering effects of a restrictive upbringing, and the quest for authentic connections. Stavros Halkias adeptly navigates the delicate subject matter, providing both empathy and pragmatic advice to listeners facing similar dilemmas.