Stavvy’s World - Bonus #154: Blair Socci [PATREON PREVIEW]

Date: November 13, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Blair Socci
(Note: The transcript features a rotating panel – including Ali Wong and Michael Kosta – interacting with Blair Socci and fielding audience voicemails.)

Episode Overview

This bonus episode dives into the world of modern dating, focusing on the challenges women face with unsolicited sexual advances in online conversations – particularly from men in the show’s own fan community. The hosts and guests offer empathic, humorous commentary and tangible advice, drawing on their own experiences with dating apps and DMs. The conversation explores sincerity, directness, and the art of good timing in flirting, as well as the changing landscape of internet relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Frustration with Early Sexualization in DMs

[00:45–02:29] Voicemail Segment

• A female listener reports a pervasive pattern among men (including Stav’s followers) who abruptly turn casual DM conversations sexual.
• She laments the “ick” she experiences, which destroys any chance of compatibility:

  “...we’ll be totally chill... and within like five to six of, like, questions... they will just randomly bring a sexual [topic]... Like, what kind of porn do you like?... I’m like, these are not bots... we seem politically aligned... and yet they immediately fuck up every single conversation...”

• She urges Stav to address his male listeners and pleas for healthier online interactions.

2. The Importance of Timing and Sincerity in Flirting

[02:29–03:12] Panel Reaction

• Ali Wong emphasizes that “real riz and game has a sense of timing,” pointing out the inappropriateness of bringing up sexual topics too soon:

  “Anyone with real riz and game has a sense of timing of when to go into those waters. If you’re just meeting someone... asking about porn and stuff, that’s absolutely insane.” (Ali Wong, 02:39)

• Michael Kosta and Ali both agree: talking about personal sexual habits is only appropriate well after establishing a relationship, not during initial chats.
• Light-hearted riff:

  “That’s between you and your laptop.” (Ali Wong, 03:08)

3. Social Media as the New Real Life & The Formulaic Approach to Dating

[03:12–05:00]

• Kosta notes a disturbing trend: men approach DM interactions with a “calculus” for getting laid, treating people as commodities rather than individuals:

  “It’s like... looking at human interaction as a formula instead of actually getting to know someone.” (Michael Kosta, 03:36)

4. Sincerity Filters & Dating App Profiles

[04:06–04:47]

• Ali shares a humorous anecdote: her therapist prompted her to write super-sincere Hinge profiles that “weed out so many people.”
• She admits embarrassment if her honest profile content was ever revealed.

5. Directness in DMs and Flirting

[06:46–08:00]

• The panel swaps stories of sliding into DMs and the effectiveness of various approaches. Ali adopts a direct strategy:

  “Once a year, I’ll DM a guy... and I’ll just write: Are you single? How old are you?” (Ali Wong, 07:33)

• Michael expresses admiration:

  “I love that directness though... I’m gonna try that next.” (Michael Kosta, 08:01)

6. Age Preferences and Relationship Dynamics

[08:03–09:23]

• Blair, Ali, and Michael discuss dating age gaps, traditional versus non-traditional roles, and the desire for genuine connection over superficial interaction.
• Ali humorously reflects on her preference for “a dude that takes care of [things], has a good job, and wants to coach soccer and man the grill...” (Ali Wong, 09:12)

7. Advice for Men: Treat Women as Human Beings

[10:12–13:17]

• The group returns to the original listener voicemail, explicitly urging men to rethink their online behavior:

  “Start treating women like human beings.” (Michael Kosta, 10:12)

• Ali and Michael endorse total honesty about intentions:

  “If someone sends me sexual DMs or like, nasty shit... it’s so confusing to me.” (Ali Wong, 10:52) “You get so far if you just know how to sit politely and go back and forth for an hour or two over some drinks... and just keep it to polite conversation.” (Blair Socci, 11:15)

• Being upfront about looking for a hookup or a relationship is encouraged; it saves both parties time.
• Disbelief and exasperation at how many men sabotage themselves by moving too quickly to sexual topics.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On “Timing” in Sexual Conversations:
  Ali Wong [02:39] – “Anyone with real riz and game has a sense of timing... asking about porn and stuff, that’s absolutely insane.”

• On Directness in Dating:
  Ali Wong [07:33] – “Once a year I’ll DM a guy... I’ll just write: Are you single? How old are you?”

• On Reducing Dating App Sincerity to a Science:
  Michael Kosta [03:36] – “It’s like looking at human interaction as a formula instead of actually getting to know someone.”

• Advice for Men:
  Michael Kosta [10:12] – “Start treating women like human beings.”

• On How Low the Bar Is:
  Blair Socci [11:15] – “The bar is so low for men. You get so far if you just... sit politely and... keep it to polite conversation.”

• On Sabotaged Potential:
  Michael Kosta [12:56] – “The guys who just DM’d her probably could have gone out with her and they maybe even could have hooked up or even dated.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:45–02:29]: Listener voicemail on unsolicited sexual DMs
• [02:29–03:12]: Panel reaction; discussion of sexual timing and “riz”
• [03:12–05:00]: Commodification of online dating; authenticity
• [04:06–04:47]: Ali’s anecdote on sincerity in dating app profiles
• [06:46–08:00]: DM sliding strategies; directness pays off
• [08:03–09:23]: Age preferences; traditional vs. non-traditional dating roles
• [10:12–13:17]: Recap and advice: treat people as humans, be honest, take it slow

Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, sharp, and irreverent with familiar, self-deprecating humor. There’s a strong sense of camaraderie, mutual teasing, and genuine sympathy for listener experiences. The advice is honest—sometimes blunt—but always empathetic and pragmatic, encouraging respect and patience in modern courtship.

Summary in a Nutshell

Stavvy’s World tackles the pitfalls and frustrations of online dating, especially men who move way too fast into sexual territory in DMs. The hosts advocate for sincerity, timing, and seeing each other as actual people, not commodities—all delivered with humor and storytelling. Directness is celebrated, but so is patience and honesty about intentions. The episode is both a reality check and a call for more human, mature interactions in the digital dating world.