B (2:07)

I was like 16 when it started happening.

C (2:09)

Okay, so this is eight years.

B (2:12)

Yeah.

C (2:13)

Wow. Okay. And how old. How old is your dad now?

B (2:18)

Shit, he's 60. Like in his mid-60s.

C (2:23)

Mid-60s. And this girl's 31. Okay, interesting.

B (2:26)

Hey, no, she's. Sorry, she's 28.

C (2:29)

She's.

B (2:30)

So I might have got the math wrong down there.

C (2:32)

Wait a second. Hold on a second. If she's 28 now. They started dating when she was 20.

B (2:42)

No, sorry, it's been five years. My bad.

C (2:43)

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

B (2:45)

When she was 23.

C (2:46)

You said she was 23, and now she's 28.

B (2:49)

So five years.

C (2:50)

Okay, yeah, five years. Okay.

B (2:52)

Yeah, gotcha. And basically this Caused a huge falling out with my dad because my dad was also my high school band teacher and he tried to like get her to play in like our school events and stuff.

C (3:05)

Come on, she's basically the same age.

B (3:10)

Yeah, no, pretty much. It was like I was so beautiful.

C (3:16)

She's so good at the bobo.

B (3:18)

He tried to get her to like play in the band there and I had to like quit that shit. I had to like.

C (3:23)

He had to get his 23 year old girlfriend to play with high schoolers at a high school production.

B (3:31)

Yeah. Yeah.

C (3:33)

I mean the worst when he's 50, when he's fucking. Or maybe 58, 59, whatever the fuck he was. Yeah, that's fucking crazy.

B (3:43)

OK. And basically like this caused a lot of shit for me. We've been on and off. We're kind of getting back on now like kinda rekindling our relationship a little bit and I'm really worried because he hasn't talked to me about it, but he's like, we're in the same communities. I have friends of friends. He's talked to like these people about like the wedding and like when it's going to be and I'm. I know he's probably going to ask me to go and like I'm just, I don't know if I want to, you know.

C (4:16)

Sure. So let me just, can I just nail down the ages here a little bit? So you are how old right now?

B (4:23)

I am 23.

C (4:25)

You're 20 and this girl is currently 28. Yeah. Okay. Okay. 23, 28 and 64, let's say.

B (4:36)

Yeah. Yeah, that's about right.

C (4:37)

About right. Let's give him 62. Let's give it. Let's be gentlemen about this. Give him the benefit.

B (4:43)

We can be nice.

C (4:43)

Okay. Um. Yeah. I mean that's fucking crazy. And, and so your, your, your main problem here is just that. Just, just so we're on record is that she's clearly too young to be your father's girlfriend. But wife is, I mean definitely girl. It was definitely weirder when he was dating. When he was in his late 50s dating a 22 year old or whatever. I mean it's still weird. Now don't get me wrong, 28 and 60s is getting, getting married is weird, but it's not completely unheard of in society. Usually. I assume your dad is broke. Usually broke motherfuckers don't have the, the thing to. Don't have the swag to pull this. But, but that's your problem. It's just that she's Much too young.

B (5:27)

Yeah. And also, like, every time I get back, try to get back into his life, he tries to, like, kind of include her with it, which makes sense. But she's. She tries to act like a mother figure to me, which.

C (5:41)

You're the same generation.

B (5:43)

Sorry, go ahead.

C (5:44)

Yeah, that's crazy because you're literally the same generation.

B (5:48)

Yeah. Yeah. It's, like, so fucking weird. Like, she would tell me to stop, like, smoking weed when I was a kid. She told me she had to go to rehab for weed, and I was like, pussy. Like, you know, like, there's not real.

C (5:59)

I mean, this girl must have had a horrible childhood if she's marrying your father, right? Yeah. I mean, there's no way she wasn't unfortunately molested by, like, an uncle or something and, like, had, like, she has some weird old guy shit going on. Plus, wanting to have a kid, wanting to, like, trying to, like, pretend she's a mother and instill order. And, like, you know, talking to a kid makes her feel more grown up. Having an older guy makes her feel more grown up. There's got to be some. Some shit like that going on for sure, right?

B (6:29)

Oh, yeah. I mean, her dad's like. She's an FSU French horn major. Her dad's like, a Florida cop. Like, I can't imagine. It's great, like, growing up in that French horn major.

C (6:41)

Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's fucking.

B (6:43)

She's. She's not the brightest bulb, that's for sure. But. Yeah. No, it's weird. I don't know.

C (6:51)

You basically are just like. You don't mind having. What about your mind? You have a better relationship with your mother, I'm guessing, or.

B (6:58)

Yeah, me and my mom, we have a really good relationship. And that's part of the reason I stopped talking to him is because she started getting involved in, like. She started saying shit about my mom. She started like. You know, she started like, yeah, that's crazy.

C (7:10)

You can't. That's.

B (7:11)

That's emailing for him. And I could tell because, like, his English isn't that good. You know what I mean?

C (7:16)

I mean, I hate. Listen, this is one of those situations where if this wasn't your dad, I would love this guy. He's such a fucking piece of shit. Like, love him in terms of. He's hilarious. Being, like, a guy with broken English who fucks his, like, student that's 30 years younger than. And, like, she writes his email. She becomes his personal secretary. Your dad's got a real Bill Belichick situation going on. Right now?

B (7:40)

No, it's so funny because he's tried to, like, go to therapy and like that, but it's just giving him, like, ammo to be manipulative. But the thing is, like, he can't be verbally manipulative because he's so bad at English.

C (7:51)

Like, that's really, like.

B (7:55)

It just comes off as, like, we just can see right through it. So, yeah, he's. I. I stopped talking because he, like, started saying shit about, like, my mom getting what she deserved and shit like that. And, like, he was just going off and, like, sounding just mentally unwell. And, like, I checked in with him later. Later, and I was like, hey, how are you doing? Like, I. I care about you. Love you. I want to make sure you're okay. But, yeah, it was weird.

C (8:19)

I mean, look, dude, I think basically what you're describing here is. Yeah, I mean, your dad is clearly insanely in the wrong in every way here. I mean, like. Like, if this girl wasn't so young, if she was age appropriate and she was trashing your fucking mom, that. That's grounds for never speaking to your dad again. If he was dating, if. If this girl was really nice and sweet, but you just felt really weird about this fucking relationship, that would have been gra. That's grounds to not want to have anything to do with it. You combine the two. Plus, she's, like, trying to be pushy and act like your fucking mom and, like, act like a parent figure. It's like, you. You're completely in the right to have zero contact with, you know, to do with this. I think some kind of compromise you could reach here is like. And what might be good for you, because, again, you're a young guy. This is good for you to, like, set your boundaries, is to speak to your dad and just be like, listen. Like, you know that conversation you had where you're like, you know, I care about you. I want to check in on you. You. You can say, look, you're getting married. Whatever. I don't really approve of this. Like, this is fucking weird to me. But you're. You're my father. I want you to be in my life. The way that can happen is if you never disrespect my mother in front of me. Your wife doesn't try and speak to me like I'm her child. That most of our relationship is between me and you. And if I have to see this woman, she's. She keeps a very respectful tone, doesn't say anything about my. My mother doesn't Try and fucking parent me. If you. And you can. You just have to say that. And if he's cool with it, great. And if he's not, then he can go fuck himself. Is kind of how I read the situation.

B (10:00)

Yeah, yeah, no, I definitely. And honestly, I was like that for a while. It's just getting a little, I don't know, it is weird because like, me and him had a really great relationship growing up. And part of me knows that, like, if the choice is between me and some young pussy, it's probably going to be the young pussy.

C (10:20)

Well, I mean, hold on, Stop right there. We're talking about your father, right? And if that's, if that's what you think of him, dude, which he deserves, that's not the kind of guy you need to be doing anything for. If your own father. Look, dude, a fucking 23 year old from FSU, it's like, look, that's cool to fuck that girl. It's not cool to fucking choose that over your fucking son. So the fact, like, dude, that, that, that sentence is heartbreaking a son. And I want you to get that because you live in this reality where that's normal, that's fucking insane. And so just because your father is the kind of piece of shit that would put, you know, getting pussy over his son, that does not mean you, you are not the one that has to change in this equation. I need you to understand that. Right? And so you can't resign yourself to that. Personally, I would never do. Like, that's what I'm saying is that like, you need to know your own boundaries. And I think right now you might feel this way because no disrespect, you're just a little young and you still, and you miss that. Obviously you want your dad, you want to have that awesome relationship with your dad, but you're not the one fucking that up. You need to understand that the person fucking that up is your dad. The person who's decided to destroy that relationship is your dad. And if you go back and you try and recreate it by pretending that him being disrespectful towards your mother and pretending that even in the back of your head, you knowing he would choose this dumb bitch over you, pretending that's okay with you, that's not the relationship you want, you know what I'm saying? The relationship you want is him making you a priority. So he. You would be kind of selling yourself out for no. And you wouldn't get what you wanted. You would get a hollow version of it. And you would allow your dad to kind of, like, dictate your reality. Again, that's how I see it. But, you know, tell me if I'm off base here.

B (12:18)

No, I. I think you're pretty correct. I think it's just. It is ultimately, like, easier said than done. Like, just hard for me to get out of that mindset, you know what I mean? And especially really hard for me to, like, think about, like, the future. Because, like, you know, I'm family oriented. I want to have kids at some point. Like, sure, my kids, like, you know, with my grand. Them not having a grandfather, like, them being weird with my grandfather. But I guess that's a bridge I cross when I get there, you know? So I appreciate it, man. Thank you.

C (12:44)

Exactly. And yeah, this is fucking hard, dude. But, like, also, you have to make it clear, like, your dad might not think that you have the gumption to be like, you know what? Fuck you, dad. I'm not going to be disrespected by you. I. I love you. I want you to be in my life more than anything. But I will not be disrespected, and I will not have anybody disrespect my mom. He might just not think that you're capable of that. And I think you owe it to yourself to stand your ground on this and at least have him. At least, you know, verbalize these things to him. Let him hear it. What he does with that is up to him. Right? If he tries to trounce through that boundary, that's up to you, you know, that's up to you to kind of keep it firm. But I think, dude, legitimately, this is important for you in your life, because I have found. And look, obviously, I think it's easy to say that I'm projecting. People will say, you know, I think you. It can be read that I'm projecting about my own relationship with my father. It's not exactly the same, but I do think it is. It has been very helpful for me to stand up and realize what my boundaries are in my relationship with my dad. That has helped me in the rest of my life. I think a lot of the. A lot of the, like, patterns that. That are. That get established for people happen with your parents one way or another, right? Whether they're romantic, whether they're just like friendship, whether they're power dynamics, how you look at authority figures, whatever, whatever. I. I can tell you from personal experience, standing up to my dad when I didn't like the way he treated me or my mom has made it so that it's been night and day. Nobody treats me like that anymore in the rest of the world either. You know what I mean? Like, that. I think that will help your. That will help you in how you relate to the rest of the world. Again, this is just my advice, having dealt with a similar but not exactly the same situation.

B (14:38)

No, I appreciate it. Actually, the reason I wanted to talk to you is because I know you've had some similar issues with a Mediterranean father. So, like, I don't know.

C (14:46)

And for what it's worth. For what it's worth, you're younger than me. And now at my age, having, like, kind of put my, Like, I think having time apart has helped. Helped both me and my dad to realize. Like, for me, it helped me realize. It helped me come around to what, you know, the fact that I really did want my dad in my life and I would be willing to compromise with him. And I think for him, it made him realize that I wasn't. That I was serious, and that, like, you know, he had. That we had to have the relationship on. On terms that were. That he didn't purely dictate. It had to be about compromise. And may. I don't think you'll necessarily get that if you immediately fold is sort of how I see it.

B (15:26)

Hell, yeah. No, I definitely agree. Thank you, man.

C (15:29)

Yeah. And you got time. Don't fucking nut in anybody too soon.

B (15:32)

Yeah, I won't. Don't worry. And stop. I just have a confession I need to make to you real quick.

C (15:38)

Please go. Go ahead.

B (15:42)

At your last Boston show, like, a year or two ago at the Wilbur, I got really high on mushrooms. Like, really high on mushrooms. And then I lied to you about getting pegged, and you posted it on YouTube.

A (15:54)

Wow.

C (15:54)

That was you?

B (15:56)

Yeah, that was me. I'm really sorry, buddy. You can look back in the video and see, like, my hand crumpling under the weight of the mushrooms.

C (16:02)

So I deeply apologize, dude. Those shows were actually great for crowd work. Actually. We got a lot of fun. We had a lot of weird Boston trash.

B (16:12)

Yeah, there's a lot of rowdy Boston out there.

C (16:14)

Yeah. That's all right. That was the first theater weekend of my life. That was. So thanks for being there, buddy.

B (16:20)

Of course. Yeah. Love your. Love your work. Thank you guys so much. Have a great day.

C (16:24)

You too, brother. Happy New Year.

B (16:25)

Best of luck, man. That sounds like an extremely Italian father predicament to have.

C (16:32)

I mean, when he said that, she was like, well, I know if I had to choose between Young pussy or me, his son, he would choose young pussy. And that is, you know, that's the kind of. That's when I stopped respecting this guy.

B (16:45)

Yeah.

C (16:46)

Because there is something fun about an Italian father who does like young pussy but chooses his family over that.

B (16:52)

Yeah.

C (16:52)

That, to me, is the best of both worlds. That's.

B (16:54)

That's a crazy. It's. You know, you've gone too far when Stavi's role. The podcast can endorse.

C (17:01)

Can't endorse getting young pussy. You're right. You're right. You're a real fucking monster if we're like, no, whoa, whoa, whoa. Certain things. Pussy. Getting pussy from hot girls is not. There are certain things that are more important than that. When you find those things from us, that's tough. When we don't approve of a hilarious Italian, a hilarious immigrant getting pussy. Yeah, you've gone way too far.

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