Bonus #168 - Tony Deyo [PATREON PREVIEW]

Summary

Stavvy's World – Bonus #168: Tony Deyo [PATREON PREVIEW]

Date: February 19, 2026
Guest: Tony Deyo
Host: Stavros Halkias (with Eldis and Tony Deyo)

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Episode Overview

In this lively bonus episode of "Stavvy’s World," Stavros Halkias, accompanied by co-host Eldis and guest Tony Deyo, answers a caller’s tricky and personal relationship question. The focus: how to talk to a long-term partner about wanting to use a larger sex toy without causing insecurity or offense. The hosts dig into male perspectives on sexual insecurity, gender roles, and honest, constructive communication in relationships—with characteristic humor, candor, and plenty of laughs.
Theme: Navigating sexual communication, insecurity, and the use of larger sex toys in long-term relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Question: How Do I Bring Up Wanting a Bigger Toy?

[01:17 – 03:53]

• The caller explains her libido has increased, and she wants to discuss using a bigger dildo with her boyfriend—who is "a few inches" smaller than the toy she has in mind.
• She expresses concern about damaging her boyfriend’s confidence and wants advice on how to bring it up in a "sexy," non-threatening way.

2. Stavros’s (Host) Initial Take: Men & Size Insecurity

[03:58 – 07:52]

• Stavros (often addressed as Kenny by co-hosts jokingly) immediately empathizes with the boyfriend, calling it "very tough stuff."
• He differentiates between being okay with vibrators for their unique function ("I can’t vibrate, that's science") and being asked to use or accept a larger, cock-shaped toy, which he finds threatening.
• Quote:

  “It’d be like being mad that my girlfriend wants to take... antibiotics instead of your chicken soup. The antibiotics do something my fucking remedies are never gonna do... Where the line is for me is when it is purely cock size.” – Stavros ([04:33])

3. Eldis’s Counterpoint: All Tools are Tools

[07:52 – 11:47]

• Eldis is surprised by Stavros’s strong reaction and suggests that all sex toys are just tools to help enjoyment.

• He argues that if a toy can help a partner orgasm, its size shouldn’t matter unless it’s used as a form of comparison.

• He maintains it’s not inherently threatening if your partner is seeking a different sensation.

• Quote:

  “Anything that helps your girl nut in bed is good, that's a positive. Men can get cagey about it... but that's stupid because it's just a tool.” – Eldis ([08:05])

4. Philosophical Divide: “Is a Bigger Toy a Threat?”

• Stavros: Equates requesting a bigger, lifelike toy to implicitly saying, “I wish your cock was bigger.” He sees this as crossing a line—turning insecurity into existential threat.
  • Quote:

    “A bigger dildo that is just my cock, but bigger, no. I don’t think... I would do okay with that, personally. There’s no way to phrase that sexy, in my opinion.” – Stavros ([07:05])

• Eldis: Insists it’s still just about the partner’s pleasure, not comparison, and notes that women’s needs often differ more than men’s.
  • Quote:

    “I think all dicks just basically work the same... I think pussies are much touchier.” – Eldis ([14:30])

5. Analogy & Banter: Highlighting the Difference

[08:47 – 16:05]

• The hosts use analogies—“antibiotics vs. chicken soup,” “nail gun vs. hammer”—to argue whether introducing larger toys is like replacing, rather than supplementing, a partner.
• Stavros takes it further:

  “You use my hammer. You don't just use a bigger, thicker hammer.” ([11:45])

• The discussion heats up; laughs and exasperation ensue, but both recognize they are expressing personal boundaries and insecurities.

6. A Call for Pragmatism: Advice for the Caller

[16:53 – 19:03]

• Both hosts agree the key is to frame it around specific needs (e.g., G-spot stimulation) rather than size comparison.
• Concrete advice:
  • Focus on the functional goal (finding a toy with a shape good for G-spot stimulation).
  • Avoid language that compares the toy directly to the boyfriend’s anatomy.
  • Start with a toy of similar size and shift gradually if needed.
• Quote:

  “If you frame it as G-spot finding... get a dildo that’s very specific. Even if it ends up longer—great, but don’t frame it as, ‘I want a bigger dick.’” – Stavros ([13:31])

7. Notable Reflections on Relationships

• Eldis notes that over time, sexual needs in relationships change, ebb, and flow.

• Both hosts acknowledge that a partner's request for a different experience should not be automatically taken as rejection.

• Both underscore the need for honest communication—and a little tactical finesse.

• Quote:

  “Sexual seasons change, wax and wane so much... Maybe she wants to try this now. Maybe it'll be different in a year.” – Eldis ([16:40])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On relationship security and tolerance:

  “Maybe this is the difference of a man who's actually has a real relationship and me, just a man thinking.” – Stavros ([14:22])

• On compromise:

  “We can meet in the middle to give this girl advice after a heated partisan debate... We've debated on the Congress floor. It's time to work together.” – Stavros ([17:11])

• Joking about classic toys:

  “What happened to old-fashioned dildos? What happened to Spencer's Gifts dildos?” – Stavros ([12:04])

• Light-hearted conclusion:

  “In a perfect world, this guy’s got a shoulder-mounted dildo that he's fucking you with in a couple months.” – Stavros ([19:26])

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Important Timestamps

• 01:17: Caller asks how to discuss bigger sex toys with boyfriend
• 04:33: Stavros discusses male insecurity and "antibiotics vs. chicken soup" analogy
• 08:05: Eldis advocates for using any tool that brings pleasure
• 11:45: Analogy about nail gun vs. hammer (toys vs. body)
• 14:22: Comparison of relationship perspectives
• 16:40: Eldis on changing sexual needs over time
• 17:11: Joint advice: frame the conversation around specific needs, not comparison

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SUMMARY

In this episode:
Stavros, Eldis, and guest Tony Deyo debate the sensitive issue of introducing a larger sex toy into a long-standing relationship, focusing on how to phrase the conversation to avoid hurting a partner’s ego. The debate gets humorously heated as Stavros articulates classic male insecurities, while Eldis brings a pragmatic, tool-centric view. Ultimately, the group agrees that the conversation should focus on specific sexual needs (like G-spot stimulation) and be steered away from direct comparison. Communication, honesty, and tact are essential.

Best Advice for the Caller:

• Focus on the function (e.g., G-spot) rather than size
• Avoid direct size comparison language
• Gauge your partner's feelings gently, and introduce new toys gradually

The hosts show, through their own banter, how even tough conversations can be navigated with empathy, honesty, and humor.

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For listeners seeking advice or insights on handling sensitive sexual conversations with their partners, this episode delivers both practical tips and a hearty dose of relatable laughter.

Transcript

[Kenny Maine]

He's Kenny Maine, the funny guy from espn.

[Cooper Manning]

Formerly, he's Cooper Manning, the more intelligent and handsome of the Manning brothers. And he's Brian Baumgartner.

[Kenny Maine]

But to me, he'll always be Kevin from the office.

[Cooper Manning]

Yeah, you and everybody else together.

[Kenny Maine]

We're the hosts of the new comedy golf podcast, we need a fourth from

[Cooper Manning]

Smartless Media and SiriusXM.

[Kenny Maine]

It's like a cold beer after a round. You hear the strangest and most bizarre golf stories from our friends, athletes, celebrities and comedians.

[Cooper Manning]

It's all about how much we love golf and how much we hate golf. New episodes are out every week. Listen now and subscribe wherever you get your podcast. Could just be anywhere, just on a couch. Doesn't matter.

[Kenny Maine]

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[Caller]

I'm calling for some advice about how to bring something up to my boyfriend. We've been together for about four, four and a half years and my libido actually increased recently. So that's been super fun, of course. But I wanted to bring up to him that I'm interested in using a bigger dildo or.

[Kenny Maine]

Oh no, take the guitar away. Bigger dildo? You gave her a guitar for. She wants to use a bigger dildo. Eldest, that's what you think is guitar. I hate her for that.

[Brian Baumgartner]

She hit a stride and she wants to go bigger.

[Kenny Maine]

That's tough, bro. That's really tough. I'm sorry. Replay. Let's start back. We got lost in the guitars.

[Caller]

Yeah, boyfriend. We've been together for about four and a half years and my libido actually increased recently. So that's been super fun for both of us, of course. But I have been wanting to bring up to him that I'm interested in using a bigger dildo or a vibrator that's just longer.

[Kenny Maine]

That's tough.

[Caller]

And when I say longer, I mean like at least like 7 or 8 inches. And you know, in the nicest way possible. That's definitely, you know, a couple a few inches bigger than my boyfriend, but which is totally fine. And I love everything that he does in the bedroom and I'm totally satisfied with him. And he also uses my Own vibrator on me, which is a little smaller. And he seems totally comfortable with that and he's really good at it. But I think he knows that my G spot is a little bit higher up there. So I'm definitely interested in bringing this up to him. But I heard on one of your recent episodes, the guest said that men tend to be a little insecure when it comes to vibrators and the size of them. So basically, I just want to know as a man, what would be the best way you think to bring this up? Where he still feels comfortable and secure, which I do generally think he is. And he's never really acted insecure. But I want to bring it up in a way that is sexy, but doesn't risk him sexy, you know, thinking too much into me wanting something bigger up there.

[Kenny Maine]

Sexy.

[Caller]

But anyways, thank you and can't wait to hear back. Thanks.

[Kenny Maine]

Oh, this is a tough one. I mean, this. It seems like me and Elsa about to have another philosophical debate here. It really does. I will say that. Let me. Before I give you the floor, Eldis, Tony's just a spectator for us, arguing

[Brian Baumgartner]

for this one out. I think, like, wow, these guys are really passionate about this one.

[Kenny Maine]

This really is a passion. This really is one that I could. We could talk about this one for quite some time. Okay. My immediate. We all saw it. My immediate reaction. Very tough stuff. Very tough. Ask and listen, I am on the record as, like, get a vibrator in the mix. Get something like that. Sort of like, I'm not competing with. Right. Like, I'm not insecure in that. Like, look, I'm not. I can't fucking vibrate. Like, that's a fucking. That's a. Science has designed this thing to make women bust in ways that I can't. It'd be like. It'd be like being mad that my girlfriend wants to take. You know, is the girl you're dating wants antibiotics instead of your chicken soup. It's like, look, the antibiotics do something my fucking remedies are never gonna do. Right? Where the line is for me is when it is purely cock size, it's purely, I wish your cock was bigger. Right?

[Brian Baumgartner]

Yeah.

[Kenny Maine]

And it's okay to have that desire. You know what I mean? I get that. To me, that's a solo. And even that, it's like, that's a solo thing that you can't. You don't share. It's like every once in a while you want to have a. But, like, it honestly would fucking. I don't know. That I would do well with my girlfriend's desire being a. Essentially a. That is three inches bigger than mine. I don't know that I would do okay with that personally. There's no way to phrase. There's no way to make that sexy, in my opinion. Unless he's into like. Now look, this might be. Some people are into cucking or like, you know, I'm sure there's an element. Some people might find it hot that, you know, they're like. Some people do find hot that they're like partners getting just fucking torn up in ways that they can't.

[Brian Baumgartner]

Right.

[Kenny Maine]

And they're getting some kind of perverse joy out of that. Right. Not my programming whatsoever. I don't judge that. If that's you. Yeah, I know Vince McMahon. Those leaked emails where he's talking about big black cock or whatever. There's a whole. There's a whole other. Like, you know how much people's sexuality is like, warped by their fucking racism and whatever. Like, I got none of that. I got no desire to see someone I'm dating fuck a cock bigger than mine. That's just me, whether it's another man or it's a blue one. Right, Right. And I don't want to be asked that person. That's me. Yeah. Now if it's a. Now the G spot thing is the first. The first. This. This might be your path. She's like, I want to hit my G spot. It's got to be a weird, skinny, like science again, a scientific thing designed for G spot. Like we've seen a couple of those vibrators where they're sort of like, you know, slim as fuck and kind of curve to exactly hit it. That's what it's going to have to be, in my opinion.

[Brian Baumgartner]

Yeah.

[Kenny Maine]

A bigger dildo. That is just my cock, but bigger. No, I don't think. Not only would I not like that, that would take. I don't know that I'd get over that request. I think that would lead to the dissolution of that. Of whether that was the next day or in 10 years after I've after clicked. It would lead to the end of that relationship. To me if it was like the kind of thing where it's like, hey, why don't you put a strap on that's a cock but bigger than yours and fuck me with it. I would pack my bags in 45 minutes. Right. I would be on hotels tonight, that evening looking for a place to crash. So anyway, that is my perspective, elders. I would love to hear a Rebuttal from you.

[Brian Baumgartner]

I must say I am genuinely surprised by your knee jerk response to this question. In general, when we get questions about how do I help introduce a vibrator.

[Kenny Maine]

But you heard my.

[Brian Baumgartner]

A vibrator, a dildo toy, whatever. You know what you and I think we, we generally agree on this is say to those people is like, you know, anything that helps your girl nut in bed is good. Sure, that's a positive for the man. Men can get cagey about it because it's like, no, fuck that, dude. I'm not, I don't need help like getting my girl off or whatever. It feels threatening, but that's stupid because it's just a tool. I think if, if that's the, if that's the logic, it shouldn't make any difference if it's a small little 2 inch vibrator or if it's an 8 inch vibrator.

[Kenny Maine]

You're blowing over my chicken soup bacteria antibacterial point. Because it's excellent analogy. Like it's pure cock size she wants more of, that's all. Anyway, I'm sorry to interrupt. The floor is yours.

[Brian Baumgartner]

Even if that's true, even if she needs a bigger tool to hit her G spot deeper that the guy's dick can't hit, it's still, I don't know, it's still towards the goal of like getting her off. She doesn't want to like cheat on the guy. She doesn't want a guy with a bigger dick. Think of this as experienced.

[Kenny Maine]

I'm sorry, do we know that for fact she wouldn't like to fuck a guy with a bigger dick?

[Brian Baumgartner]

We have to take her at her word.

[Kenny Maine]

Maybe this might be. This is a slippery slope if we're talking about just a bigger cock, a bigger like, whatever. You're right. No, you're right. She hasn't said that. We have to take her to word. I'm saying. You're correct, right? We have found the. We have found the exception. To me that proves the rule, right? Because it's like I'm okay with anything, anything unless the request is simply a co. If it boils down to a bigger cock than yours. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Brian Baumgartner]

I don't know. I think it's like, you know this. He will be a good partner if he supports her in, you know, her urge to like expand her experience, feel a bigger cock or a bigger vibrating toy inside of her.

[Kenny Maine]

You sign up for the cock that helps you sign up for you, Jamie. You signed up for what?

[Brian Baumgartner]

My Cock is helps getting her off. It's.

[Kenny Maine]

The bigger cock is a problem. The bigger dildos are pure size is a problem. Now again, if we want to talk about finding the G spot. But what does she want him to fucking have a fucking. Instead of him fucking her, he has to sit there with a dick that just looks like his, but it's three inches bigger and fucking throw his shoulder out her. He doesn't get anything from that. I don't know, brother. This is the one thing where I, I can't go down this route. Now if it's one of those like G spot finding vibrators, that's different. But if it's purely getting fucked by a dildo that's bigger, that's only your cockpit bigger. We have found my personal line here that I could not. And I don't even. And it is an insecurity for sure. But it's like, I think, I think

[Brian Baumgartner]

you're succumbing to the logical fallacy that we always like accuse guys of, like, you know, just feeling threatened by a new tool. All dildos must be created equal.

[Kenny Maine]

They're not. They are not equal. They are very different. If we're talking about dildos that I cannot. It's like, it's, fuck, it's like the machine. It's like a fucking nail gun versus a guy with a fucking hammer, right? I. The nail gun can do other shit, right? But if she just wants. I want a bigger hammer. It's like, no, you can use a nail gun. But the. I use the hammer, you use my hammer. You don't get to just use a bigger, thicker hammer. You use the nail gun. Use a different. Use a pneumatic fucking whatever. We can get some fun cool toys. But you don't just get a bigger hammer. You get my hammer.

[Brian Baumgartner]

This, this is not that to me yet.

[Kenny Maine]

I think it is.

[Brian Baumgartner]

She's saying 7 or 8 inch dildo. That just feels like 90s dildos. Remember how like all dildos, it's like, when did these new smaller vibrators start coming out? They're just like, you know, demure, Like a little classier. Like you could sort of.

[Kenny Maine]

What happened to old fashioned dildos? What happened to Spencer's Gifts dildos?

[Brian Baumgartner]

I feel like every dildo used to be in this range. It's not that crazy now. If she's talking about I want a black silicone mold dildo, that's like the I'm a dragon. That's like funny. I don't think dildos are in the mix.

[Kenny Maine]

I Gotta be honest with you. Vibrators are fine. My cock is the dildo. That's the whole point here. You're replacing my cock. I don't want my cock replaced. I want my cock being a part of a team, a team of vibrators and whatever the fuck. But now you're saying your cock's the backup. Your. Your is second string. We're signing a bigger. And I don't want that, man. I'll be honest with you. I just don't want that.

[Brian Baumgartner]

Okay, okay. Maybe we need to take a step back.

[Kenny Maine]

Thank you. It's getting very heated in here. Here's a. Here's.

[Brian Baumgartner]

Here's some other questions that we kind of need to know for this.

[Kenny Maine]

Sure, sure.

[Brian Baumgartner]

Her libido has increased, right? That means she wants to fuck more. Does that mean she started, like, orgasming more from sex? It hasn't in the past. Sure does.

[Kenny Maine]

I'm going to guess we can just say more in any way. Whatever it is, it's leading to more sex.

[Brian Baumgartner]

And. Okay, if we go from there, I would ask her, what does sex look like for you guys? You know, can you come from sex with him? Do you need toys? Are vibrators doing it? I don't know.

[Kenny Maine]

It's like, I'm not even opposed to her fuck doing. Like I said, getting a dildo in the mix when he's not there. I just think. I wouldn't personally like to do. I wouldn't like to team up with a bigger dick than me. That's it. That's all I'm saying. I'll team up with whatever. And if she needs to explore this, fine, explore it. I just think of all the things, you know, I wouldn't do. My advice would be if you frame it as G spot finding, frame it as that which is fair. Get a dildo. That's very specific G spot, even if it's longer. If it ends up being longer, great. But don't frame it as I want to be fucked by a bigger dick. That's all I would say. That's all I would say.

[Brian Baumgartner]

I don't see.

[Kenny Maine]

I don't. So you would. Okay, let's make this very personal eldest. Your girl comes up to you and is like, I would like to get a bigger dildo.

[Brian Baumgartner]

I would honestly be fine with it. I would say, okay, fine.

[Kenny Maine]

Well, maybe this is the difference of a man who's actually has a real relationship and me just a man thinking. So I'll. I'll defer to you here. That's fine.

[Brian Baumgartner]

I think all dicks just basically work the same. You just tug on them, you fuck them, and they come after a few minutes. Okay? I think pussies are much touchier.

[Kenny Maine]

Absolutely.

[Brian Baumgartner]

Every girl comes so differently.

[Kenny Maine]

And I just. Okay. You know, My only thing is we have now opened the door where it's not something a toy does. It's something a different person could do. Right? It's like saying, I'd like to fuck someone with a tighter pussy. You signed up for the pussy you got. You know what I mean? Then it's like, all right, I want a bigger dildo. Maybe I want a guy who fucking has bigger arms now. I don't know. We've st. We have crossed into replacing human body parts instead of just sexual things that a human body cannot possibly compete with. That's my argument. And it's like, listen, you signed up for the cock you got with the guy, in my opinion. That's all I'm saying. What if he's like, I'd like. What about a pocket pussy that's like, fucking small? You jerk me off with that, right? And then he's like, why don't we fuck a girl with a smaller pussy? Like, I think the. The pa. The path from bigger dildo to how about another guy fucks me is a lot closer and shorter than let's get a vibrator to another guy. Fuck. I don't think let's get a viper in the mix. There is a logical step to now let's fuck a dick a guy, but I think bigger dildo. There is a logical step to let's get a guy with a bigger dick to fuck me. That's all. That's all I'm saying. I disagree with that and I respect that. And maybe we just have to agree to disagree.

[Brian Baumgartner]

You gotta look at it purely as a tool.

[Kenny Maine]

You're right. This is insecurity for me. Because it's like, to me, this is like, what if I found the perfect relationship, everything's great, and she springs this kind of final boss of security on me. I think what we're seeing here is someone who has only thought of, who's been worried about relationships and ruined them, to preemptively avoid moments like this. And someone who is in a happily committed relationship, who is not threatened by any sexual request his girlfriend or wife would make. Maybe that's the. Maybe that is the philosophical difference here. Perhaps. I don't know.

[Brian Baumgartner]

Maybe. I think. I think they've been together for five years. Sexual seasons change. Wax and Wayne so much.

[Kenny Maine]

I agree with that, you know, maybe

[Brian Baumgartner]

she wants to try this now. Maybe it'll be different in a year. You don't know how it's going to change. So I guess. I guess, you know, going back to the advice for her, if you say there's no indication he's ever really been insecure. Yes, I agree. I do agree with you. Stuff. It's like, frame it as the G spot thing.

[Kenny Maine]

Thank you. We can meet in the middle to give this girl advice after a heated partisan debate. Now let's get the policy. We've debated on the Congress floor. It's time to work together. Meet in the middle and craft a bill that helps our constituent. Okay, so fine. Can we say that? Can we focus? He's never been threatened. Focus on the G spot. Get a G spot finder. Don't get a pure, bigger dildo. Sure. And you know what? And you know what? This is case by case. Maybe she's got an eldest at home. The G spot finder. You start there. And if you still want the dildo, like, test the waters with. Let's get a dildo in the mix. You don't even have to. That's actually a good point. You don't have to frame it as bigger. You can just kind of get one similar size, but a little big. You know what I mean? Like, kind of test the waters that way. Because it's not like anyone's gonna. Unless the dildo is, like, insanely bigger than my dick. I guess I wouldn't even have thought to. You know what I mean? Because there are those, like, long vibrators that are bigger than a dick. But it's like, hey, you get that in the mix. I'm not fucking. It's also skinnier, I would say, if you want to go long, go skinny. If you want to go fat, go short. You know what I mean? His dick's got to be superior in one way or the other to it. You know what I mean? One dimension. Because I wouldn't. Because now thinking about. I wouldn't be threatened by those long, classic kind of vibrators that you could also use in a dildonic fashion. Is that a word? Did you coin a new term? I think we just coined it here. Tony, you're really. You're on an episode that has really engendered some very lively debate. This is not usually how it goes, but maybe your presence here is. Has brought out the best in me and eldest has brought out the argumentative side to me and Elvis.

[Brian Baumgartner]

Calming for us.

[Kenny Maine]

Yeah. Yeah, That's. Well I think that's it. We know we ultimately have a rational voice to get us back. Right? You know, I think without you here, we don't end the way we did. Without you. I'm yelling at Ellis. I'm calling him a stupid Albanian. We feel like we have to be proud at the end and help our friend who called in as well. So that's going to be our meet in the middle advice for you. Good luck. Hey, we're happy for you. And listen, in a perfect world, this isn't the fucking problem. This guy's got a shoulder mounted dildo that he's fucking you with in a couple months. But whatever happens, we hope you're happy. Yeah. Yeah. He's Kenny Maine, the funny guy from espn.

[Cooper Manning]

Formerly, he's Cooper Manning, the more intelligent and handsome of the Manning brothers. And he's Brian Baumgartner.

[Kenny Maine]

But to me, he'll always be Kevin from the office.

[Cooper Manning]

Yeah, you and everybody else together.

[Kenny Maine]

We're the hosts of the new comedy golf podcast, we need a fourth from

[Cooper Manning]

Smartless Media and SiriusXM.

[Kenny Maine]

It's like a cold beer after a round. You hear the strangest and most bizarre golf stories from our friends, athletes, elites, celebrities and comedians.

[Cooper Manning]

It's all about how much we love golf and how much we hate golf. New episodes are out every week. Listen now and subscribe. Wherever you get your podcast could just be anywhere, just on a couch. Doesn't matter.