Bonus #174 - Sam Evans [PATREON PREVIEW]

Summary

Podcast Summary: Stavvy's World – Bonus #174: Sam Evans [PATREON PREVIEW]

Date: April 2, 2026
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Sam Evans (plus additional co-host presence)
Episode Focus: Relationship Advice – “Should I Sleep With My Abstinent Ex?”

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Episode Overview

In this bonus Patreon preview of Stavvy’s World, Stavros Halkias and guest Sam Evans (plus another co-host) dig into a listener’s dilemma: should she hook up with her ex-boyfriend from her abstinent Christian youth, now that they've reconnected as adults on Hinge? The episode is a blend of humor, candid sex talk, and genuine advice, navigating nostalgia, emotional risks, and the lingering pull of past relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Caller’s Situation: An Abstinent Youth Revisited

• Caller Background: Grew up abstinent Christian, dated a guy for 5 years as a teen, never had sex, broke up, reconnected on Hinge years later.
• Current Dilemma: She's considering sleeping with him, even though it’s not usually her style and she's worried about getting attached; he’s just exited a long relationship and isn’t seeking commitment.
• Emotional Stakes: The caller wonders if she should "forego [her] usual preferences in relationship to just retroactively fuck this guy that [she] was abstinent with for so many years," and worries about catching feelings (03:09–03:32).

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2. The Hosts React: Humor & Validation

• Immediate Reaction: Jubilation and ribald enthusiasm from hosts—a “so erotic” scenario, compared to years-long “edging” and massive “potential energy” (01:37–02:00).
• Caution & Reality Check:
  • “Manage Expectations.” — Sam Evans, 02:17
  • This situation could be “really disappointing,” and building it up in your head could set up for a letdown (01:53–02:00, 08:00–08:11).
• Quote:
  • “You basically were edging for five years. And then put it on the back burner. And then kind of edged in your mind the whole other rest of the time.”
    — Stavros Halkias (01:40–01:50)

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3. Evaluating the Risks & Rewards

• Not Just a Hookup: The group stresses that this isn’t a “random hookup,” given their extensive history—it’s “a nice way for you, for a square, to be naughty” (06:33–07:24).
• Potential Pitfalls:
  • He doesn’t want a relationship—“take that seriously” (04:37–04:46).
  • Old feelings could surge, making emotional detachment tough. Sometimes a stranger is easier to forget than someone from your past (05:05–05:23).
• Personal Growth Opportunity:
  • The experience may help caller “practice not being so necessarily clingy,” and challenge internalized religious guilt (06:33–07:35).
• Quote:
  • “If this is what you think is a hookup, fucking a guy you dated for five years, you think you count that as a random hookup? Good for you, sister... You're on, like, being slutty training wheels with this one.”
    — Stavros Halkias (07:12–07:27)

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4. Practical Host Advice

• Be Brutally Honest With Yourself:
  • “Just be brutally honest with yourself about what you're getting in to... Accept that.”
    — Sam Evans (07:39–07:52)
• Set Expectations Low:
  • “I think you should almost expect it to just not be an incredible experience... it probably won't be.” (08:00–08:11)
  • Analogy: Like a "remake of Star Wars," the fantasy often outshines the reality (08:46–08:54).

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5. Reflections on Abstinence & Religious Guilt

• The group reminisces on their own experiences with religious constraints and sexual longing in adolescence.
• Quote:
  • “You do owe it to yourself to just like close that loop and stop wondering ‘what if’”
    — Host 3 (09:26–09:32)
• Double Standard Humor:
  • Conversation about the "womanly" trope of abstaining for religious reasons, with Stavros quipping:
    • “I couldn't respect anything less than a man turning down sex for religious reasons. Maybe it's some weird type of misogyny. If a woman does it, I get it more.” (10:25–10:39)
    • “Just desperately trying to get [it] and not able to... Ready to throw any religion, creed or belief under the bus... Please, please, please. Give me pussy. I'll do what-- I'll believe whatever you want.” (10:53–11:16)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Years of Abstinent Edging:

  • “...There’s a lot of potential energy here. And is it going to cleanly translate to real firepower or is it not?”
    — Stavros, 01:45–01:53

• On the Value of Experience:

  • “It could be awesome. Now... sometimes the things you fantasize over are a big letdown. Right. This could very well be a big letdown.”
    — Stavros, 04:02–04:36

• On Reconciling with Nostalgia:

  • “You'll never, no matter how bad you wanted to fuck someone in high school, it’s never going to be as cool now that you’re both like 15 years older.”
    — Host 3, 08:08–08:22

• Closing the Loop:

  • “You do owe it to yourself to just like close that loop and like stop wondering ‘what if’...”
    — Host 3, 09:26–09:32

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:31 – 03:40: Caller’s Backstory and Dilemma
• 03:40 – 05:23: Initial Reactions; Is It a Hookup or More?
• 05:23 – 07:35: Weighing Attachment vs. Experience; Advice
• 07:35 – 08:54: Setting Realistic Expectations
• 08:54 – 11:16: Memories of Abstinence; Gendered Views on Religious Restraint
• 09:32 – 09:44: The Value of Closing Old Loops

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Summary & Takeaways

• Main Advice: If the experience is something she wants “for the story”—and she’s realistic about potential outcomes—it’s fine to go for it. But manage expectations and be honest about your emotional tendencies.
• Personal Growth: This could be an opportunity to loosen the grip of ingrained beliefs about sex without letting go of your own boundaries or needs.
• Humorous Perspective: The hosts interweave real talk with their trademark irreverence, making the advice both entertaining and sincere.
• Final Thought: “Stop wondering ‘what if.’” Sometimes, you just need to find out—and then move forward.

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For more tales of relationship chaos, nostalgia, and sexual what-ifs, tune in to Stavvy’s World every week.

Transcript

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[Caller]

Hello Elvis. Hello esteemed guest or guest. Thank you for taking my call. I have a question. So I grew up as an abstinent. Christian and I dated this guy during that time for about five years. We never got to bang. That was you know a huge struggle in our relationship. Obviously. We were teenagers of course. But eventually we broke up. We went our separate ways. That was like half my lifetime ago. However he and I have recently matched on hinge.

[Host 1]

Yes.

[Caller]

And have been talking.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

You owe it to yourself.

[Caller]

He is somebody that kind of stands out in my mind sometimes because I really think that it's a shame that we never got to bang.

[Host 2]

This is. This is so erotic.

[Host 1]

This is awesome.

[Caller]

We are no longer a teenager.

[Host 1]

You basically. Hold on. You basically were edging for five years.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And then put it on the back burner. And then kind of edged in your mind the whole other rest of the time.

[Host 2]

You're both about to.

[Host 1]

I mean this is.

[Host 2]

It's great keep.

[Host 1]

Or it could be really disappointing. There could be something where it's just like this is a very powerful. It's like kinetic energy versus potential energy. There's a lot of potential energy here. And is it going to cleanly translate to real firepower or is it not? Yeah.

[Host 2]

But just find out.

[Host 1]

Don't get me wrong. I would be trying to find out but I'm just. I'm just throwing out the. The opposing view.

[Host 2]

Yeah. Manage expectations.

[Host 1]

But let's. Let's hear some more. Elders.

[Caller]

Teenagers. This is something we're kind of like talking about. He's kind of in a spot where he doesn't really want to be in a relationship right now. He just got out of a long term one.

[Host 1]

Boys. My boy's going back through the list. My boy. His family feud pass. And now he's coming back with five seconds left.

[Caller]

Time. But. And I'm kind of looking for something serious. But I kind of feel like this opportunity should not be tapped.

[Host 2]

Hell yeah.

[Caller]

It should not be really good right now.

[Host 1]

He looks really good.

[Caller]

Usually my Thing.

[Host 3]

Hookups are not her thing.

[Host 1]

This isn't really a hookup.

[Host 2]

Yeah. You know him.

[Caller]

Should I forego my usual preferences in relationship to just retroactively fuck this guy that I was abstinent.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Caller]

So many years. Do you think that I am going to grow attached? Because that is something that I do.

[Host 1]

That's a. That's a very valid concern.

[Caller]

Hookups. So I'm kind of weighing my options here. I would be happy to hear any input that you all have for me. Thank you.

[Host 2]

Yeah, I. I do think it's a. It's a bad time to call into the show when there's not a female guest on.

[Host 1]

Sure, sure.

[Host 2]

There's just full of dudes and we're all like, no, you should this guy fuck him and you should him hard and dick.

[Host 1]

You better fuck a shockish dick, bitch.

[Host 2]

Because I'm thinking about it from the other end and I'm like, this sounds like the best thing that's ever happened.

[Host 1]

Well, okay, here, allow me to. Once she puts in the. Like, I'm fear of getting attached. Right Here are the negatives here. Like, because we, We've. We. The positives are kind of obvious to everyone. Right. This is hot. This is someone that you pined over and ultimately never fudged when you were younger. And there is something to coming back around and finishing that. Right. Yeah, that's. That would. That could be awesome. Now, we've already discussed that sometimes the things you fantasize over are a big letdown. Right. This could very well be a big letdown.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Right. I don't. We don't know about this guy. We don't. Now he's already fudgeing, laid down the. Not looking for a relationship, which you should take seriously. No. That's what I was going to say.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Do not go into this.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Unless you just want to do it for the. Like, it's an experience. It doesn't re. To me. You could count this as a one off. That doesn't. You don't suddenly become a person who does hookups. This to me, is not a hookup. Hookup is somebody you don't know at all.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Now this potentially could be even more dangerous than a hookup because you do already have these built in feelings for sure where it's like you hook up with somebody and even if it goes good, you're like, I even really like this person. That could actually be. It could actually be easier to not get, you know, caught up on a hookup where you have no real connection. Right.

[Host 2]

The flip side, though, you do know, like, this guy's assumedly nice, safe. Right. You trust him on, like, a certain level, right?

[Host 1]

Right. Yeah. We're assuming that's the case, right? If that's the case. And yes, take it seriously. Don't. If I would say, if you can go into this and comfortably with yourself, think this would be fun to do?

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

You know, maybe it's a little fling, tops. We fuck a couple times, but maybe we just should fuck once just because, you know, we. We wanted to fuck each other for five straight years and we never got to go into it, if that's okay with you, that you might only fuck this guy once. And by the way, you might not even fucking talk to this guy ever again. That's the other, like, he's assumedly nice, but, you know, who knows? Because, like, I'm thinking about it now. I think whatever she's feeling, I think he's feeling it like 10 times more. Like, as much as she wanted to fuck him as teenagers.

[Host 2]

Yeah, he.

[Host 1]

For sure he wanted to fuck her.

[Host 2]

That's why we all got super excited. We're like, hell yeah, dog.

[Host 1]

Yeah. So that's, that's really. My advice is like, you don't really sound like the kind of person who's okay with random hookups. I wouldn't necessarily call this a random hookup. I think, I think it's squarely in the. Would you enjoy fucking this guy one time? Even if it's like, for the story, even it's for the experience? Yeah. Is that something you're interested in? If it is, go for it with no expectations. And this might be an opportunity for you to kind of like not be so necessarily clingy. Right? Like, practice that a little bit. Because, look, even if you're not religious anymore, she's from a. That background. It's hard to get out of your bones. I would assume, you know, like that way of thinking that, like, you could probably, you know, we are a very sex positive show here. You could probably stand to be a little less sacred about sex. You know, that's my hunch. And this is a. This doesn't even really. This is like a nice way for you for a square to be naughty. Like, if this is what you think is a hookup, fucking a guy you dated for five years, you think you count that as a random hookup? Good for you, sister. That's. That's good enough for you, right? Like, that's you. Yeah, you're. You're on, like, being slutty training Wheels with this one kind of.

[Host 2]

And just be like brutally honest with yourself about what you're getting it. Like, if you want to do it, that's fine, but just be like, hey, it will be this. And I accept that.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

From the get go.

[Host 1]

Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Which could. Could be cool though. But be honest with yourself and if

[Host 2]

you decide you want that, go for it.

[Host 3]

I think you should almost expect it to just not be an incredible like experience. I fully agree with it because it probably won't be. You'll never.

[Host 1]

Let's say this. It almost certainly won't be.

[Host 3]

It's like, you know, you'll never. No matter how bad you wanted to someone in high school, it's never going to be as good or as cool now that you're both like 15 years older.

[Host 1]

Yeah, well, I don't know.

[Host 3]

You won't be as like people are,

[Host 1]

you know, who knows? Could be cool.

[Host 2]

Anybody from my high school.

[Host 1]

I'm trying to think about girls I wanted to fuck for my high school. There's a few I would definitely still fuck.

[Host 3]

I don't know. You'll never catch.

[Host 1]

That's just me, though.

[Host 3]

You'll never. I know, but you'll never like, fulfill just that.

[Host 1]

Absolutely.

[Host 3]

That hole inside of you from when you're like 17.

[Host 1]

100%.

[Host 2]

It's like a remake of Star Wars. Like a new Star Wars. Right. You're like excited and then you're like, this is not.

[Host 1]

This would. This would have hit a lot different if I was a kid.

[Host 2]

Yes.

[Host 1]

You know what I mean? Like sucking this guy's off. Would have been. If only I was 17. Right. Like, like that's. Your star was a great example because it's made for children.

[Host 2]

Yes.

[Host 1]

And it's like, yeah. If you. I bet you little kids love all. Every new Star wars show them. Right?

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

But it's like this is. Yes. You're never going to make that up. And it's almost like, you know, it's not. At a certain point it stops being cool to behave like you were when you were younger again. This woman's not in danger of that.

[Host 2]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[Host 3]

Like, that's more. And you do owe it to yourself to just like close that loop and like stop like wondering what if I just.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 3]

This guy finally.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 3]

And yeah, it does sound like, you know, she has like the remnant Christian attitude.

[Host 1]

Little residue towards like, shit, I stick with you too.

[Host 2]

Oh, God. Yeah.

[Host 1]

Really? Would you. Were you ever. Were you ever in like a setup where like the girls wanted to and you Were like, what about God?

[Host 2]

Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Yes, dude. Yes. Yes.

[Host 1]

Holy. And.

[Host 2]

And you do spend. Like, that's why I got it so excited. Because I was like, I have memories of like.

[Host 1]

Right.

[Host 2]

Not exactly, but like, situations like that. And it's like God, if only now.

[Host 1]

Right.

[Host 2]

I. Could I connect with this?

[Host 1]

Yes.

[Host 2]

Deeply.

[Host 1]

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Dude, that's so funny.

[Host 2]

Oh, we can't. Because I want to be good.

[Host 1]

Oh, what? That's crazy.

[Host 2]

You just want to slap yourself in the face.

[Host 1]

That's insane.

[Host 2]

Yeah, dude.

[Host 1]

Oh, my God. I can't. I respect that. So there's. I couldn't respect anything less than a man turning down sex for religious reasons. Maybe it's. Maybe it's some weird type of misogyny. If a woman does it, I get it more.

[Host 2]

Sure. You know, but it feels womanly and

[Host 1]

it feels like, what are you, a little girl? If, like, that's female stuff. Yes, that's a female trait.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

For sure. Turning down sex for the societal good.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Or whatever the fuck. Bullshit.

[Host 2]

Yeah, dog. It sucks.

[Host 1]

Yeah. I was the exact opposite. Just desperately trying to get. And not able to until I was like in my 20s, like just trying so hard with no. Ready to throw any religion, creed or belief under the bus. And still.

[Host 2]

I'll be whatever you want me to be.

[Host 1]

Whatever I have. No.

[Host 2]

Just nothing. Please, please, please.

[Host 1]

Give me pussy. Give me pussy. I'll do what. I'll believe whatever you want. I'll believe whatever you want. Just give me. Please.

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